TMQ #118 -- Laughing Matter

Discussion of The Magic Quill #118 -- Laughing Matter (www.mugglenet.com/editorials/themagicquill/tmq118.shtml) by Robbie Fischer.

+++ DOUBLE CHALLENGE FOR TMQ #120 +++

SURVEY: How does the angel-faced villain from TMQ #117 combine magic with golf? (A) He uses magic to create a self-maintaining, perfect golf course. (B) He uses magical plants, beasts, and other hazards to make his links the most difficult and dangerous course in the world. (C) He plays a wizarding variant of golf involving balls that go up but do not come down (unless played in that direction); players must be able to fly and, on occasion, play underwater. (D) He uses magic to enhance his performance in order to collect huge winnings on ordinary golf tours. (E) Other...

CONTEST: Describe a magical piece of jewelry and its properties.

What a brilliant chapter! I'm so impressed, for the moment at least, I can't contemplate the survey yet.

Brilliant! I would love to have some laughing matter, not the real stuff--the stuff he described to the newly weds.

As to the survey: I like (B)--a course full of magical beasts, plants and so on.

I'll have to think about a piece of jewelry.

Survey: B

Contest: The perfect gift to tame every shrew and appease every woman: the Gemstones are Forever line of jewelry! Sporting an enormous gemstone on a fine chain, the necklace is both extravagant and versatile. Depending on your female friend's coloring and clothing, the chain takes on either a gold or silver hue, and the stone shows itself in whatever shade best coordinates with her outfit. From the palest aquamarine to the darkest garnet, your significant other will always have the best match in jewelry. For a small fee of 100,000 galleons, the woman in your life can have the full set of jewelry which includes a ring, a pair of earrings, a necklace, and bracelet. For an additional 60,000 galleons, our one of a kind Gemstones are Forever tiara is yours!

Survey: um... B
Contest: The True-Color-Ring shows a person's true color. That is, if you slip it on someone's finger, it will change from it's boring black color to the color of the Hogwarts house that that person would be in, if they were to go to hogwarts at that point in time. So, the True-Color-Ring would turn yellow for the ideal hufflepuff, etc.

I CHoose B

gah... everyone chose B. but i've had enough of magical mediterranean water-plants and freaky Gardens of Gory, Unnatural Death, thank you very much. i choose D. much more super-villain thing to do - "corner the world currency market on golf-earnings!"

Wizards the world over are going ga-ga over the Safety Pin, the most discreet form of personal security available on the market today. Using the latest advances in dark-detector and sneakoscope technology, the Safety Pin continually monitors local threat levels, alert for any signs of danger. Upon activation, the Safety Pin can be customised to
a) eject a cloud of Demiguise hair, effectively obscuring the wearer from sight.
b) throws up a Shield Charm, an Imperturbable Charm, and a Bubble-head Charm on the wearer simultaneously, while firing three Stunners in the forwards direction
c) function as a simple Portkey, with pre-specified destination.

The Safety Pin should be worn on the front for maximum effectiveness, and is available in plain, brooch, or Quidditch team badge. Get yours today!

I think a charm bracelet would be nice. The bracelet I'm seeing is made of the finest goblin silver, fashioned by the Gringott's silver smiths of course. (Every Gringott's branch has a work shop in one of their dungeons). Dangling from the delicate chain would be seven(?) charms: one (shaped like a lightning bolt) for hex protection, one (heart shaped) connecting the wearer to her loved one, one (shaped like a lion's head complete with mane) to insure 'good' hair, one (ball shaped) acting as a remembrall, one is a tiny time piece, one is a 'boot' that acts as an emergency portkey and the last one is shaped like a key and opens the wearers' diary. A rare piece of jewelry, indeed. The giver of such a bracelet either has a lot of spending money, or the bracelet has been in the family for many generations.

Survey B (I'm with the crowd on this one, I guess)

Cheating earings: Normal looking gold earings bewitched to help the wearer recall anything ever heard while wearing the earings. So called for their popularity amoung school age students trying to pass exams. Too bad for their sakes the earings are well known to most teachers who will not allow any sort of jewlery to be warn durning exams!

Survey: I like B.

Contest: A magical piece of jewelry would be a rare jewel that, when you wear it, makes everyone think that you are smarter, more talented, and prettier than you really are. This explains why some people who are really ugly and are bad singers have been able to sell over a million records. And it explains why some inept politicians have been elected to office. If you dip the jewel in a love potion and then wear it, it makes a guy or girl you like who wouldn’t normally notice you fall deeply in love with you. This explains why my boyfriend broke up with me to go out with a girl who is not nearly as pretty and nice and smart as me.

:grumble:
(Just kidding.)
(kind of.)
(No, I am.)

That 'safety pin' entry sounds really cool!

Anything to do with golf and money flirts with the International Statue of Secrecy. Still, our friend has a business making golf more appealing and more profitable to a certain class of wealthy Muggle. It was recently reported that the leader of a well-known pariah nation achieved several holes-in-one on his first meeting with golf clubs. His underlings diverted three days' GDP to our friend in exchange for aid, which might have been charmed clubs or balls, or a charmed course, or house-elves accompanying the party invisibly, or even Confundus spells on the participants or spectators.

In other cases, businessmen eager to seal a very favorable deal on the links, or just after, have hired our friend. He refused one request for his services: a wealthy golf amateur who wanted to make a name for himself in a series of golf tournaments. Our friend felt that this would be addictive (good) but that the wealthy amateur wasn't wealthy enough to keep it up ... and the result would be attention that he did not need. It might actually reach the ears of the various Wizarding governments, who were otherwise quite blind to his activities, and to golf in general. (Several Wizarding historians insist on trying to prove that golf clubs were originally used for hunting snitches. The little man is not averse to using them on a different kind of snitch.)

Our friend understands golf's addictiveness quite well. He's been hooked on the game for twenty odd (very odd) years--without magic on the play. Magic to remain comfortable on the course is fair game, as are magic carpets disguised as golf carts and house-elves as caddies. So is a variation on the four-point spell adapted to clubs, revealing the best shot and club. That doesn't help with the actual execution; our friend is still double-par. Those around him are sworn to silence on the point; the rare Muggle he plays with gets Confunded. House-elves, of course, keep their masters' secrets.

He also has perfected self-restoring golf clubs and bags. After a few satisfying hours, they will heal themselves of any damage short of a Reductor curse and return to their proper cupboards, just like his best underlings.

Our friend has shown considerable skill at miniature golf, though, a diversion he prefers to enjoy in private. Mention of the fact risks your memory (if you are useful to him) or your life (if you are not).

His present anger with both Spanky and Sid comes from being interrupted during his normal day of golf. Since he is suppressing anger with Sid, he is especially expressive towards Spanky, his cold demeanor notwithstanding. (Romanians understand dishes served cold quite as well as Sicilians.)

i'd have to say C), it would be sort of like a gentleman's alternative to Quidditch. after all, that can't be the only wizarding sport can it? it's just the best.
as for the jewelery, i'd have to say a pair of diamond rings, like wedding rings that make the wearers see only the good things about their spouse and ignore the faults...and work the other way around if you put them on the finger of the other hand or so on...that could work for the merlin and endora wedding. or a necklace that mesmerizes a person or causes the wearer to look breathtakingly beautiful or something...sounds like some vain thing you would magic a piece of jewelery to do, either that or something ironic like deadly love. oooh! a necklace that absorbs the beauty of everyone who looks at it and adds it to the beauty of the wearer, maybe ever exchanges their faces...
anyways the real reason i wanted to post was that i had an idea that you could put in, further in the story, a witch or wizard with a mother named laura Malory and, she is in shock and you could write about it from the daughter's point of view who either joins he circle or is already one of them...now THAT'S ironic!

How about a 'Fabergé' type egg? Instead of a miniature train running on the inside, there could be a quidditch pitch complete with two teams flying around playing a match?

As to the jewelry, wouldn't wizarding lockets have wizarding pictures in them? Of course, if you put the wrong portraits face-to-face, you could have some loud and embarassing arguments. Imagine old Mrs. Black and Mundungus face-to-face in a locket. On the other hand, if you had a mean streak and you hated them both, you could enjoy hearing them go at it without end and without anyone ever winning. And with a tap of the wand (or any tap on a properly charmed locket) both pictures get a silencing charm, to be released the same way.

Of course, if the subjects of those portraits could move between there and their other portraits like the Hogwarts Headmasters can, it becomes a rather special locket. And if it were in the hand of someone nasty, those messengers could be subordinates that he's terminated. But the Hogwarts portraits may be a very special case.

I think "Angel-face" is capable of any of these, but if I must pick only one, I'll take C. It's a refined gentleman's sport, and suits him.
I couldn't top some of the suggestions already made for jewelry. Either the Charm braclet or the Safety-Pin (very clever!) would be fun.

The ‘reports’ these last few days have not being a laughing matter… we have lost an ear, an eye and half of our tongues…

S.O.S.

Needed to do that… now, back to the regular… entry?

I’ve just read #117… and it is too late… I couldn’t answer the challenge… too busy… does anyone know how difficult Language C is?

I’m pretty sure I’m gonna read the #118 soon enough, but I’ll post anyways.

Survey:
C!!!!

Contest: jewelry??? Can I make it a little extensive?
A gold watch, very similar to a Rolex (this is not publicity, have to say)…. Who am I kidding?

In two different models, sophisticated ladies and gentlemen can get a watch that will shine forever; it’s the only one with an ‘until-you-succeed’ warrantee… and you will.
This amazing timepiece has a ‘true’ property. Everything you say, or every action you decide to take against an enemy will be true and done successfully. How? You may ask; simply: remember the words you say, true or not, when said to people who haven’t seen else, become the only reality to them.
To close every window is the way to enter trough the door, or to say it better, without windows, the door is the only way to take.
The secret is to know when to act and what strategy to follow.



[QUOTE=Linda_Carrig;4514289]Brilliant! I would love to have some laughing matter, not the real stuff--

The ‘reports’ these last few days have not being a laughing matter… we have lost an ear, an eye and half of our tongues…

You have my sympathies and prayers, and I hope I can speak for everyone here. Perhaps this "report" is a blessing in disguise. Now the outside world can't pretend that You-Know-Who might be the good guy. (If you think I'm talking about Voldemort, tune into CNN.) We are now seeing, with surprising clarity, who it is that is lying and hurting people.

I do know who...
Thank you...
I have tried to write more... I couldn`t put anything into words...

we have lost.. or do we have won?... should we have ever begun?

All I can do is to let ink run freely through the paper... and see if the answer is not only above...

... I mean it...

Now, seriously…

I just thought about a locket (regular size, mind you) in which can be kept the very heart of a human being.

-- Let me know if I’m just versioning a myth here, or ‘The Quill itself’ or whatever. Most of the times I don’t know if I read what I write or write what I read. :hmm: --

The heart is the place that shelters emotions, wisdom and achievements in a person. The means to take hold of it does not require committing a crime, tough it may be the beginning.
The property of this locket is to multiply the triumphant man’s wit or resistance in every way, or, when the heart of the enemy is taken – not only – he would not longer fight, but all adversities and blight will be expelled out of the sorrowful heart of he who owns this magical piece of metal.

Well, it looks like the B's win. Shucks. I was pulling for C, myself! Keep an eye out for #120, coming soon!