Potty Training

I have a two-year-old son who is absolutely, flat-out refusing to use the potty.

"No, mommy, Evan no use the potty! I don't want to! I don't want to!"

This is the phrase I hear most often. :rolleyes: So please, share your stories about potty training your kids - what worked, what didn't, and what you never thought to try but heard about later and wished you would have.

My health visitor said that most boys aren't ready to potty train until they are 3 and maybe as late as 4. It's got something to do with their biology but \i don't understand it properly.

I was also told the appearance of a new baby can hold things up.

Dylan is the same age (I think) as Evan, he has just started telling us when his nappy needs changing. He refuses to sit on a potty but he will sit on the toilet before and after his bath.

I think being patient is the key. Good luck!:huggles:

My health visitor said that most boys aren't ready to potty train until they are 3 and maybe as late as 4. It's got something to do with their biology but \i don't understand it properly.

I heard this too.
My son was fully potty trained at 3 and a half. We put in him those "pull-ups" training pants when he was around 2 and a half. We reminded him that they were for "big boys." Potty training is a slow process with many ups and downs. When he's ready he'll let you know. Just keep gently reminding him about the potty and what a big boy he is.

My doctor told me just to wait until he wanted to do it. My oldest wasn't potty trained until right before he turned 4. But that being said, since he decided to go on the potty he hasn't had one accident. Not at night, not when he is busy playing, never. It is really frustrating to have to wait though. I was always so anxious because it seemed as though everyone else's children were potty trained. Oh well, if they don't want to go, don't try to make them. That only makes them decide to stay in diapers longer.

It is a good sign when the kdis start telling you they need to go or they have gone, it helps the whole process. My son used to say his penis was tickling and that is how he learned to recognize he had to pee.

Every kid is different and I do recommend the waiting method, it worked for me even though it was a bit frustrating at times. It was his decision in the end so he has stuck to it. Just remember eventually no matter what, your child will be potty trained, even if its not as soon as you had hoped :)

My 4 year old brother refused to use the potty as well. So my mom just stopped worrying and figured he would do it when he was ready. When he was 3.5 he finally started wanting to use the potty and then was potty trained within a few weeks. I say just give your son time, he will learn when he is ready

For what it's worth, Evs does know when he needs to go. He doesn't go while sleeping but instead goes as soon as he wakes up. He just refuses to do it on the toilet. :rolleyes:

I think he even holds it sometimes so as to avoid using the toilet and instead goes as soon as his pull-up is back on. :grumble: Kids. :lol:

I think he even holds it sometimes so as to avoid using the toilet and instead goes as soon as his pull-up is back on. Kids.

:lol: my son did that too! It was so frustrating to take him to the potty and right after we pull his pull ups back on him say "I peed mom" Thats just great Craig.

My eldest son refused to poo in the potty - we had to put a nappy on him for him to poo in :grumble: He's fourteen now and a member of the forums and I'm sure he'll really appreciate me telling you that :lol: But I won't tell you his username!

For what it's worth, Evs does know when he needs to go. He doesn't go while sleeping but instead goes as soon as he wakes up. He just refuses to do it on the toilet.

I think he even holds it sometimes so as to avoid using the toilet and instead goes as soon as his pull-up is back on. Kids.
To be honest I think recognising they need to go is the biggest thing. If they can do that then you are more than half way there I'd say. If he doesn't like using the potty perhaps he could use the toilet and pee standing up "like Daddy" - though obviously to do this they have to be tall enough!

My five year old is still worried about falling down the toilet and still uses a kiddies toilet seat.

I have a two-year-old son who is absolutely, flat-out refusing to use the potty.

"No, mommy, Evan no use the potty! I don't want to! I don't want to!"

For some kids 2 is too early. I did not even start in a real way with Josh until after he turned three. (I did read him a book about the potty, but that was it!)

He was trained at 3 and a half, and refused to wear a diaper at all even at night about a month later. (No acidents, except once when he was very ill).

I figure, by waiting, we both had less stress, and when he finally became interested himself, it was incredibly easy. It just basically happened overnight.

Hello hun!,
I ran up on this thread though I myself am a female.. lol
I had heard of a sure fire way to get little boy's to use the potty
Make it a game.. take some cherrios! or fruit loops either one & drop just a couple either in the Toilet or Potty Chair & tell him to see if he can hit the little rings! .. I believe that's what my mother will do to my now 5year old brother to get him to go potty he is almost there I believe because he loves to drag my other younger brother (His big brother) in there to help him go potty!..
Anywho! I hope the ring game helps for you :)

But all in all I agree with what many has said regardless as to everything he is doing it will happen sooner or later that little "I dont want to listen to mommy" will pass sooner or later, lol
Good luck!! :D

For what it's worth, Evs does know when he needs to go. He doesn't go while sleeping but instead goes as soon as he wakes up. He just refuses to do it on the toilet.
Have you tried offering him a snack everytime he uses the potty? My mom gave me chocolate milk balls and I was potty trained in a week...girls will do anything for chocolate :lol:. But, maybe try his favorite snack or treat as a reward for going.

We are just starting to introduce the idea of the potty to my 21 month old. She gets now that we use it and she likes to sit on it when the cover is closed. But I think it will be a bit till she learns that she can use it too.

Any recomendations on having a seat that goes on the toilet or a separate potty chair?

Any recomendations on having a seat that goes on the toilet or a separate potty chair?

Dylan hates his potty and refuses to going anywhere near it so we brought him a seat that fits into the seat of the 'big boy toilet' which he quite happily sits on.

We give him a picture book to look at while he is sat on which seems to be working, along with sitting him on it as we run his evening bath.

I've set aside his 6 week summer holiday from nursery to try and get him dry. Fingers crossed.

Every time Evie uses the potty successfully, she gets a Micky Mouse sticker to put on top of the lid (she has a very nice collection so far.. :lol:). She especially likes coming out of the bathroom and saying, "Tadaaaaaaa!" and I think she hears a fanfare playing each time.

One problem we've just started having, though, and we had this with the boys, too, until they worked it out, is that she removes her pull-ups and hides them when she goes. While I usually find them (ick), if I don't realize she's gone and replaced it with a new pull-up, she can get a bad diaper rash because she has not been properly cleaned up. She's still pretty good about letting me know most of the time, though -- thank goodness for Boudreau's Butt Paste -- stuff works like a charm.

*notes that only a mommy could talk about this stuff to other mommies without there being lots of embarrassment involved :lol:

We actually just waited Mikey out. Hubby took him into the bathroom every time he went starting around two and a half. When he finally got interested enough in the whole "standing-up-to-pee" thing, Mikey was actually pretty good about day training, he was day-trained within a couple weeks when he was about three and half.

But night-training - that was another story entirely. He could never make it through the night. He'd been dying to sleep naked because to a four-year-old, that's the funniest thing in the history of the world...so I told him when he could stay dry every night for a week, he could start sleeping naked. There were several weeks of frustration, but again, it was a waiting game.

LoveWeasleys, I would definitely recommend a seat that fits right into the regular toilet, especially in an apartment where there's not a lot of bathroom space. And I think for Mikey, it made the transition from diapers/pull-ups to using the toilet MUCH easier.

Where have I been? Why didn't I see this thread AGES ago?

My second child, stubborn as much as she is sweet, has taken her dear sweet time learning to 'stay dry'. We tried Potty Training at age 2, using the book "Toilet Training in Less than a Day" by Nathan Azrin - which worked perfectly for my older one. And within a day she was 'poop trained'. However she's turning 4 and is just now able to stay dry for a whole day. Sometimes she's too involved in an activity, sometimes she just doesn't want to be told to 'use the potty', sometimes she just doesn't feel like making it to the toilet.

Having her poop on the potty since age 2 was the only thing that has made the last 2 years bearable.

Now she wants to wear undies at night - but can't stay dry all night - so I'm doing laundry daily cleaning her sheets. But what am I going to do, say no? Tell her she has to wear a pull-up? I don't think that would be good for the relationship.

Oh well, I'm off to catch up on everyone's responses. :)

We actually just waited Mikey out. Hubby took him into the bathroom every time he went starting around two and a half. When he finally got interested enough in the whole "standing-up-to-pee" thing, Mikey was actually pretty good about day training, he was day-trained within a couple weeks when he was about three and half.

But night-training - that was another story entirely. He could never make it through the night. He'd been dying to sleep naked because to a four-year-old, that's the funniest thing in the history of the world...so I told him when he could stay dry every night for a week, he could start sleeping naked. There were several weeks of frustration, but again, it was a waiting game.

LoveWeasleys, I would definitely recommend a seat that fits right into the regular toilet, especially in an apartment where there's not a lot of bathroom space. And I think for Mikey, it made the transition from diapers/pull-ups to using the toilet MUCH easier.

This makes me feel so much better! Evs turned three in April, and my mom has been giving me a hard time about him not using the toilet. I've tried just sticking him in underwear, but he doesn't care when he gets wet. If anything, it might be a relief because it's so hot here right now. We've tried reminders, incentives, and now he throws a fit when I try to put a pull-up on him, including tantrum. He's getting so strong I'm afraid I'll hurt him by restraining him.

We have a Baby Björn potty seat, small potty, and stool. He likes to use them, but he still doesn't want to go...he just sits there. *facepalm*

This makes me feel so much better! Evs turned three in April, and my mom has been giving me a hard time about him not using the toilet. I've tried just sticking him in underwear, but he doesn't care when he gets wet.


Everybody keeps telling me that boys take forever to potty train, Dylan's nursery keep saying I shouldn't really expect to get him completely dry before he turns 4.

I've had to give with the pull-ups, Dylan just kept using them as a nappy so I put him in pants. I took him and let him pick which character he wanted. But now I have the same problem, he just doesn't seem to worry that he's wet (or worse!).

Thankfully nursery have been really accommodating. They make him go and sit on the toilet about every 30 minutes or so and we are hoping that watching the others go will encourage him.

It's getting really frustrating but I know that hanging in there is the key and he won't be in nappies forever but I still want to bang my head against a wall sometimes!

:huggles:
I'm glad to know I'm not the only one in this position right now. It just gets so frustrating...

My stubborn daughter had 2 accidents at camp yesterday. The young (and very sweet) counselor went to talk to the Health Director to see if it was normal, then they all wanted to talk to me about it.

It is so frustrating that I have zero control over her staying dry.

My new tactic is to bribe her with ice cream after camp if she says dry. I know that is probably the worst thing to associate good behavior with ice cream, but don't know what else to do.

She did tell me recently that she wants to make decisions for her own body and she doesn't like to be told to use the potty. So I replied, well, I hope you decide to stay dry and put all your pee-pee in the potty. Gotta love conversations with a 3 year old. :)

*notes that only a mommy could talk about this stuff to other mommies without there being lots of embarrassment involved :lol:

So true!

My son is now 10, but he wasn't a successful potty-user until he was almost 4. We tried everything. It wasn't that he wasn't interested; he would just get distracted. Good luck.

I think that is part of it - she just doesn't want to miss out on anything. She also doesn't like to be told what to do - so she'll say she doesn't have to go when someone points out that she has to.

I love her to death, but man, she sure knows how to get to me. :)

Where have I been? Why didn't I see this thread AGES ago?

My second child, stubborn as much as she is sweet, has taken her dear sweet time learning to 'stay dry'. We tried Potty Training at age 2, using the book "Toilet Training in Less than a Day" by Nathan Azrin - which worked perfectly for my older one. And within a day she was 'poop trained'. However she's turning 4 and is just now able to stay dry for a whole day. Sometimes she's too involved in an activity, sometimes she just doesn't want to be told to 'use the potty', sometimes she just doesn't feel like making it to the toilet.

Having her poop on the potty since age 2 was the only thing that has made the last 2 years bearable.

Now she wants to wear undies at night - but can't stay dry all night - so I'm doing laundry daily cleaning her sheets. But what am I going to do, say no? Tell her she has to wear a pull-up? I don't think that would be good for the relationship.

Oh well, I'm off to catch up on everyone's responses. :)


If you don't want to use pull ups, the do sell vinyl training pants that go over underpants. I have some for my son and they keep everything in when he wets his underpants. I don't know how they would work for all night, but you could try them.

Who knew a pair (now several) of Wallee box shorts would be the answer to potty training?

Dylan has basically got dry because he didn't want to get Wallee wet! Little darling.

If you don't want to use pull ups, the do sell vinyl training pants that go over underpants. I have some for my son and they keep everything in when he wets his underpants. I don't know how they would work for all night, but you could try them.
I feel like I should post an update. My 4 year old has finally decided to stay dry all day long - YAY! I think it was summer camp and her counselor telling her she was too old to be having accidents every day. That and I bribed her with ice cream from the ice cream truck every day she stayed dry. She tested me on that one, and realized that I meant business and wasn't giving in, and it has been great since. I just kept saying that it was her choice to stay dry and if she wanted big girl things like ice cream, it was up to her.

She's back in pull-ups for night time though, but I'm ok with that. I think when she asks again to be in undies all night I can try the vinyl covers and see if they work.

Evs came running up to my husband last night to tell him he had to go potty, and he actually went! :clap: I was so happy! Husband is still riding on the high of that one.

Evs came running up to my husband last night to tell him he had to go potty, and he actually went! :clap: I was so happy! Husband is still riding on the high of that one.

:clap: for Evs.

Evs came running up to my husband last night to tell him he had to go potty, and he actually went! :clap: I was so happy! Husband is still riding on the high of that one.Awesome!!! I hope it keeps up for your sake!

We just had major success in our home with Potty Training :clap:

In the beginning I kept the potty in the living room and made her sit on it while she watched her shows, played with toys, and had snacks. It kept her mind busy and off the fact that she was sitting on the potty. Then she went and realized what it is was like to go without a diaper AND reap the benefits with a chocolate caramel Kiss.

Now she surprises me by just going and finding the potty all by herself! It seriously only took like a week or less to get it down. The key moment for me was when we were in the bookstore on Mother's Day and she came up to me and told me she had to use the potty (even though she had a diaper on) and she went on the "big girl potty"! WOOT!

:clap: Yay!! That's great Beth!!! It really does happen fast when they start getting the hang of it.

Thanks! That is what everyone told me before we started and I used to get frustrated that it wasn't clicking with her. It came down to me really needing to buckle down and get it done. I also refused to put diapers on her, which meant we had to spend some nice sunny days inside, but it paid off. Last night, she got to play outside w/ underwear on and made it. She was very proud of herself. :)

Woohoo! She's a big girl now :D

My 2 year old niece is really making some long strides in the potty training business. She's over at my house alot and loves using the potty. She tells me about 5 or 6 times an hour she needs to sit on the potty. Of course maybe she'll only go once but she is so proud of herself. She has to take everyone by the hand and show them her little potty that she went. Her mother finds it frustrating because she goes for me and not at home. At home though I imagine she has a usual routine that does not include going potty yet. She'll get the hang of it though :)

I completely went with the flow for both of my two children, and they were both nearly 3 when they wanted to start wearing big boy/girl pants and that just led to them using the potty. My daughter trained quite quickly but my son, although he was dry quite quickly, he pooed in his pants for about 9 months before he could get to the toilet. He knew when he wanted to go because he'd hide, and nothing I could do would persuade him to use the toilet instead! It was very frustrating.

I am having trouble with my daughter because I think she is scared of it. I don't know how my sister managed to train all three of her sons in only three days! I wish she lived nearby so she could do it for me! lol!

I wish she lived nearby so she could do it for me! lol!

This is how my son got potty trained; my mom took him for a week and he came back in underwear. :lol:
From what my sister and mom told me (they took turns with him during that week) he made it a lot easier on them than he did for myself and my husband.

I think it definitely helps if the kid is motivated. My friend's son learned in one day...he saw his older brother wearing the big boy underwear and going to preschool and he wanted to go too, so his mom told him if he would use the toilet instead of his diaper, and not have any accidents, he could have big boy underwear like his brother's and he could also go to preschool. He really wanted it, and he learned, just like that, never had an accident!

i thought that if she watched her niece she might be more motivated but it didn't seem to work. I think it's the whole rebellious stage going on.

I was a sucessful potty-user at one plus, or so my mom says. I would willingly use the potty. (I think it's because I'm a Taurus-when we gotta go, we gotta go.) I used the 'grown up' toilet at three or four.

My niece is 14 months and has been showing signs lately that she's ready to potty train...when she has to go in her diaper, she will go into a corner away from everyone, and try to hide while she goes, and she can say "Go potty" (it sounds a lot more like "go pie-dee" :lol:), and she seems uncomfortable in her diaper after she's gone in it and wants to be changed. We've taught her the sign language for "potty" as well.

We bought her a little potty chair and she will say "go potty" when she knows she needs to go. Obviously, at 14 months she isn't doing it everytime, but she seems like she understands the concept and is trying. :)

My cousin tried to train her daughter when she was about 1.5 years old. If the kid isn't ready I think that's too early. You can't force them to potty train. She is almost 4 now and I believe she is potty trained. They eventually abandoned training her before she was 2, but then it took a long time later to get her to learn. They tried to early and it effected her. They wanted her to learn so they didn't have to buy diapers anymore.

My mom used to take care of 2 year olds at Bible Study and we would see how many parents push potty training. They think 2 is this magic number that kids need to start being trained at. They'll take diapers off kids before they're ready. I know one girl has peed in her pants more than once at the Bible Study and her mother just won't listen (not to us, but to her daughter!). Again, you can't force a child to be potty trained. They'll let you know when they're ready. I think you can hint about it and all that, but you can't make them be potty trained. Their little bodies might not be physically ready for it.

Story my parents always tell when they talk to someone about pottytraining. Right after my older brother became potty trained they took him on a day trip to Atlanta to Toys 'R' Us. It was back when the store was brand new and the closest one to us (in southwest GA) was in Atlanta. He had just learned to use the potty on his own and was afraid of public toilets, so he went the entire day without using a toilet. He didn't wet his pants or anything. He just held it all in.

It seems to be that the most common advice about potty training is not to force the issue and to wait until the child is ready. How will you know when they are ready, what sort of signs are there? Also, when is a good time to just start introducing them to the 'idea' of it? I am thinking that when the child gets to the stage when their communication levels are such that they understand exactly what you are saying and are able to now respond as well, that would be a good time to start asking them if they need to go to the toilet, and they will start to become aware of and recognise that, does it work kind of like that?

I don't have any children, so have no clue really.

How will you know when they are ready, what sort of signs are there? Also, when is a good time to just start introducing them to the 'idea' of it? I am thinking that when the child gets to the stage when their communication levels are such that they understand exactly what you are saying and are able to now respond as well, that would be a good time to start asking them if they need to go to the toilet, and they will start to become aware of and recognise that, does it work kind of like that?

There are actually a whole bunch of signs that your child might be ready to start potty training. For instance, if they stay dry all night, if they go in their diaper but then want it changed right away, if they tell you they are going as they go, if they can pull their pants up and down, and a whole list of others.

I actually potty trained my youngest son before he could tell me he had to go. I let him go naked out in the back yard and when he peed in the grass and saw it things seemed to click for him. Once he realized that he could control it, he was hooked (which sounds weird but it is true). I taught him how to aim by throwing cheerios in the toilet and letting him have some target practice. Getting a kid to poop on the potty is ALOT harder though. That idea just seems to be so strange to them.

I think it is important for parents to realize that their is no magic age when kids should be potty trained, yes there is pressure to potty train because of daycare/preschool but really the more you push and fight with your child, the less likely they are to actually go. I think it is really important to just be laid back about it, praise them when they go on the toilet, but don't get angry if they don't. After all, eventually most kids learn to use the bathroom so what age they do it at shouldn't matter all that much. Sure it sucks to buy diapers, but it is better to buy them and not stress out your kid than to have a daily battle about something like this.


Story my parents always tell when they talk to someone about pottytraining. Right after my older brother became potty trained they took him on a day trip to Atlanta to Toys 'R' Us. It was back when the store was brand new and the closest one to us (in southwest GA) was in Atlanta. He had just learned to use the potty on his own and was afraid of public toilets, so he went the entire day without using a toilet. He didn't wet his pants or anything. He just held it all in.

My oldest son is like that but only about going poop. He refusing to do it anywhere but at home (or at whatever place we are staying for the night if we are on a trip). He will hold it as long as he has to. My youngest son doesn't care where he is, he will go anywhere with anyone watching. My parents took him to the zoo and he saw monkeys peeing and my dad said he took his eyes off him to tell my mom he was going to take him to the bathroom and turned back around and saw him peeing in the grass. *facepalm* My youngest has no shame.

well, as a child care worker, one way for us was if the child woke up from nap time with a dry diaper. sometimes this is around 18 months, sometimes two. but I agree, you can't force a child. I would just put the child on the toilet and see if anything happens. sometimes yes, they use the toilet, sometimes no. You use patience.
My mother-in-law has a friend who insisted that she toilet trained her kids at 6 months. she thinks that's the best time to start. I think that's too early.

We tried a number of tactics to "educate" our son, aged 5 now, who refused for a long time to potty in anything other than a diaper. What worked for us was a combination of bribes in the form of toys and games (the Bumblebee helmet comes to mind), and the repeated statement that if he didn't learn how he would never be able to move into the older classes at his pre-school center. My son decided it was cool to not wear a diaper and go potty on his own. It was this that finally made the break through. Change comes from within, not without, we found.

I know this probably will sound harsh but there came a point where I knew my son wasn't potty training because--well why would he? He didn't have to clean himself. He didn't have to take care of the dirty diaper. He didn't have to wash his soiled clothing. Finally I started cleaning him up after a number two (we need to remain sanitary after all) but he was in charge of throwing his soiled diaper away. He was in charge of putting soiled clothing/sheets in the laundry. He was in charge of dressing himself after a diaper change etc etc. And then making sure he washed his hands after it all. Obviously if he was sick, or there was a extenuating circumstance like we couldn't make a bathroom in time, then I would take care of everything but it was amazing how quickly his attitude about the potty changed once he realized how much work it was to take care of himself after a change. The potty was suddenly a very convenient thing for him and he began using it right away. Then add to the fact that he didn't have to come to me everytime he went. He was so proud of himself. I even remember going to the grocery store to pick up diapers and he said "No, Mommy, I don't need those anymore."