They WHAT?! Funny stories about the kids in your life

Everyone knows that kids are funny. They say and do the most hilarious things, so why not share them? This is a place to share stories about the funny things children do.

I will start this off with a story about my son Craig, when he was two and a half. To set the scene, this had already been the longest day of my life, it was a day that he had really done everything in his power to drive me insane :lol: I had been home alone all day, my husband, at the time, was working all day and wasn't going to be home until well after Craig was in bed, so unfortunately I had to suffer alone.

Around 5 at night Craig ran up to me and told me he wanted to go to the potty seat. Not expecting him to do anything I happily took him and fastened the seat to the big toilet (lots of complicated locking mechanisms and such) and sat him on it. Now the hole on that little sucker is like the size of a bowl, a small bowl. So it is hard to get him in a position so that if by some miracle he does pee, it will land in the toilet and not shoot at my face. But alas the toilet and my face were clean because Craig just likes to jerk me around.

So I went back into the kitchen after we flushed, and went to frost the cake I had baked. A couple minutes later I heard him flush the toilet again, and while I was yelling at him to get out of the bathroom I realize that the toilet is still running and not flushing. Oh no.

I run in there and sure enough that little devil had stuffed the toilet with things. I went to pull it out (mind you the toilet is overflowing all over and I am pullling through that little hole in his potty seat because it is still fastened on and I can't get it unlocked) and I swear I felt like a magician pullling scarves out of my sleeve, things just kept coming out.

The final tally is as follows (and this is the truth I counted it all after I threw it in the bathtub): 3 big bath towels (the huge bath sheet ones), 2 pairs of his jeans, 3 of his shirts, 5 matchbox cars, 2 rubber duck non-slip decals for the tub, 2 diapers (one of which was shoved into the pipe), a can of foam soap, and an empty toothpaste container + box. How the heck does that fit in there you ask, I have no clue, but he fit it.

Ahh these are the moments you love being a mother, right? I was so distraught I actually called my sister and told her to remind me that I loved being a mom :lol: It is easy to laugh about now, but believe me, at the time, all I wanted to do was cry.

:lol: Lindsey

If Monster Mom tells you the story about her boys and the green paint, it will make you feel better about the toilet, which at least was confined to the bathroom.

I have to think about what my kids have done that is funny. I get mostly an inch of water on the floor after bath time.

I don't have any kids in my life, but I do remember some of the funny things that I did when I was one myself.

There was one time when I was at my grandmas' house, it was after I went trick-or-treating for the very first time.... and I started to stuff my mouth full of candy :whistle:.

My grandma came upstairs and asked me why my mouth was full of candy and I told her (through a mouthful of candy no less :lol:) -- "I'm not eating any candy, grandma!"

Both my mom and my grandma laughed at this for around 10 minutes or so after I was put to bed.

I still remember that to this day :).

:rotfl:! Ah the things those kids get up to. :rolleyes:

On my second birthday, I was sitting on the kitchen floor in my red teddybear outfit, licking the spoon from a bowl of cake batter. I apparently decided that the cupboards needed some too, because I started spreading the cake batter all over them. My dad came in and said "Don't put it on the cupboards, yucky." and I replied, in my adorable two year old voice, "not yecky!". He wiped it all off, turned his back, and I put more on. :angel: My mom got it all on video. :rolleyes:

My little cousins do hilarious stuff, but half the time I don't remember it.
My little cousin Dausen is really smart, tho, and is obsessed with playing Call of Duty...He's been playing it since he was 3. His parents thought it was too violent and uninstalled the game and hid the disk for it...he found it, put it in, and reinstalled it. He just kept clicking the next button like he'd seen his dad do. :lol: Last year, he was learning to read and was playing the game again, when I called him for dinner. I looked over his shoulder, and the screen listed a "Graham" as a player on the opposite team...one of the bad guys. I told Dausen to get off the game and come eat, and he told me, "Wait a sec...I have to kill grandma first" :rotfl:

My other cousin, Darbey, was pretending to sleep once. She'd make heavy snoring noises and in between each snore, mumbled "Pickle, pickle, pickle" :rotfl: I have no idea where she got that from. :rolleyes:

Last night when Craig got out of his bath, he had said something funny and so I said, "Craig, you are so funny!" and he said, "Mommy, you are a little bit mean" I almost died laughing. He just gave me a strange look for thinking it was funny that he thought I was mean.

I'm not really around kids much, but I do hear some pretty funny stories at times, especially this one about an acquaintance's daughter. They were in the car and it was raining, and her niece said "My goodness, it's raining!" so she was like, "My goodness, it is!" and her niece said, "It's not your goodness, it's my goodness!" :lol:

One time my younger brother was trying to get something out of the fridge and my dad was like "Wyatt, get out of there before I bust your tail" And my bro (who is 4, but 3 at the time) was like "I dont have a tail,haha"

As for me, when I was 1-3 I did some of the strangest things including blowing up the microwave and putting the cat in the dryer. Boy was I a terrible child :)

Somebody (and I think I know who) has been teaching my son about my lack of cooking skills.

I had just put his tea in the oven when he toddles up and says 'I'm hungry Mummy' so I tell him it's in the oven cooking. He looks at me and replies 'Are you sure Mummy?' then looks through the oven door! :lol:

My sister is soooo dead when I see her!

Cute boys Beth!

I have twin boys(fraternal), not little anymore - will enter high school next year. I am so nervous......

I was wondering if anyone on this site ever watches a show here in the US called Jon and Kate plus 8. It is a show shot in Pennsylvania about a couple who have twin girls, 7, and now sextuplets, 3, three girls and three boys. I watch this show religiously. The little ones are so cute!

Geez, I forgot what the topic was. I'll have to get back with a story. There are so many.

Cute boys Beth!

I have twin boys, not little anymore - will enter high school next year. I am so nervous......

I was wondering if anyone on this site ever watches a show here in the US called Jon and Kate plus 8. It is a show shot in Pennsylvania about a couple who have twin girls, 7, and now sextuplets, 3, three girls and three boys. I watch this show religiously. The little ones are so cute!


I watch Jon and Kate plus 8 as well. I love it! The kids are soooo cute. And Kate and Jon doing an amazing job raising the.

These are all cute stories by the way.

I watch Jon and Kate plus 8 as well. I love it! The kids are soooo cute. And Kate and Jon doing an amazing job raising the.

These are all cute stories by the way.

I know. Every time I struggle, I just remember that I only have two. I don't know how they do it.

I wish I had a picture of my boys when they did a Christmas show when they were real little. The teacher dressed them up in outfits that made them look like snowflakes. I wish I could digitize the pictures and show them - just imagine a bunch of snowflakes running around a stage.

Now, its football and girls. The time just goes too fast already.

Hee. I remembered another funny story today. My little cousin Hunter is 10 now (:sad: He's growing up so fast!), but when he was about 6, he was braiding my sister's hair for her (with sticky little hands :lol:) and asked her if she knew how to braid her own hair. She said, yes she did know how to braid her own hair....he looked at her in shock and said, "And you still live with your mom?!?" :rolleyes:

Apparently one day I got into the kitchen and ground weetabix into every piece of floor I could find. :]

I have a good one about my little sister :evil:

When she was about 6 I was pregnant with Craig, and she asked me to paint her face with Halloween paints. So I said sure and she started yelling at me that i better make her lion. She just kept after me, and being really bratty about it. SO finally I decided to make her a clown :lol: and the whole time she was asking "Are you making me a lion?" and I would tell her "Yes, Megan I am".

SO anyways, I started to put the white "base" on and she got suspicious and asked, "Are you making me a clown?" to which I replied, "NO! I am making you a GIRL lion, like Nala!" (from the Lion King) she relaxed and let me finish.

When I finished, I announced to Megan I was done and before she looked in the mirror she went up to my boyfriend and sister and screamed, "RAWR!!!!!!!!!!!!" only she looked like a clown :rotfl:

We all started laughing, well except for her, and she ran to the mirror to look. She started crying and had huge black tear tracks of mascara. She looked so funny. I told her that is what happens when you act like a brat and order me around without being gracious. She did learn her lesson, she is so paranoid I will do it again.

Gosh, I will never get that picture out of my head, I wish I had thought to video tape it. :rotfl:

My boyfriend's mum likes to tell this story about when he was a little boy of about 3 or 4.

One day, while she was watching him as he played outside, he came to her and asked her to tie his shoe. She knelt down in front of him to do so, and his hands went straight to her hair. Suddenly he exclaimed, all excited, "Mama! You have diamonds in your hair!"
Turns out that the sun was shining on her newly graying hair, making it sparkle! :)

I remembered another about Hunter.

When he was two years old (that would have made me...12, I think), we went on vacation together and he discovered he enjoyed diving off the sidewalk into the pool. Later on, after we exhausted ourselves catching him, we went back into our rooms. He climbed up onto the couch, stared down at the carpet (blue carpet...see where I'm going with this?) for a bit, smiled, and threw himself down towards it. :rolleyes: He quickly learned that it was not water. Poor boy. :rotfl:

Yesterday, Craig jumped onto my back, for no apparent reason, and yelled, "Taste my FROZEN FURY MOM!"

He is so strange, I almost died laughing.

I've got one for you.

I went camping this last weekend and when we got home, my son (Evs, the two-year-old) wanted me to wash his little pink kitty. Specifically, he asked me to give it a bath. It was filthy, so I washed it in our bathroom sink while my son was watching. As he stood there, he played a little with the water and when it suddenly turned brown I realized that he, too, was filthy and needed a bath of his own. So I asked my husband to do it, but after getting one of those, "I really don't want to but am afraid you'll hit me if I say no so I will grudgingly say yes," kind of looks I decided to just take him in the shower with me. Things are going okay, Evs has some toys, and i am washing his hair. When I smell something bad.
me: Evs, did you fart?
him: yes, mommy, I fart.
me: well don't do it again, it stinks.
...
me: did you fart again?
him: yes, mommy, I fart.
me: ugh, it smells like you pooped in here.
...
...
me: NO! YOU DO NOT POOP IN THE SHOWER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!




Here endeth my story.

From a professor at my school:

He borrowed my camera to take some pictures yesterday. When he gave it back, he said he has a similar camera. He found it in the washer two days ago, and when he asked his 3 1/2 yr old son whether he put it in there, he said "it fell in there on its own". Minus one camera, I guess :lol:

I got Craig a mini trampoline for his birthday this year, and he has been begging me to put it together. Well last night he was running around and yelling, "Mommy can we put up my death trap now??"

My dad told Craig that a trampoline was a death trap and that he couldn't have a big one because it was too dangerous. I almost died laughing last night.

Friday night my 9 year old niece stayed at my house. She was telling me how good she is at drawing cats on the computer. She said she has a talent for drawing all animals. Except for fish. "Because I have no idea where the end of a fish's head is." She was so serious I managed not to laugh, but it was tough. :lol:

When my little brother was about 3 (he's 16 now), one night he went to the bathroom all by himself while the family was eating dinner. Suddenly, he comes running out, and he's all excited. "Come see! Come see!" he tells us all, and so, in good faith and humor, we all do as he asks, get up, and follow him. He leads us back into the bathroom where he, very proudly, points to his, uhm...."excrement," and exclaims, "It's so big! I did it all by myself!" :lol:
We still haven't let him live THAT one down!

When my sister learned how to write and read "cat" she put our cat in the file cabinet under "C". We seriously did not find her for about 10 hours. All there was was a quiet undercurrent of "mowww", and it just came from nowhere!

My little brother has an obsession with the movie Cars. So lately whenever he's either thirsty or really tired, he'll come to somebody and be like "i'm out of gas," and pretend to faint. If he's thirsty we have to give him some "gas" and he'll get up and be like "Ok, my gas is full again." If he's really tired we have to put him to bed.

My Brother who is now 21 used to be really difficult when it came to dinner time. My mum used to get him to eat his dinner by saying that if he didnt he would not grow big and strong There is a little old lady who live near us who was really quite tiny. One day we were walking down the road and the little old lady was walking down the road. My brother kept looking at her like he was trying to work something out. When we got to a crossing he pulled on her arm and said. Wee woman Wee woman did you not eat your dinners when you were wee. Obviously my mum felt sooo embarrassed

I'll tell you a few stories of my three little cousins, Lucas, Valentina and Martin:

Martin: Okay, so basically the first word her learned was "shut up!" don't know who he got that from loll anyway once my mom was on the phone chatting away incenantly, for about two hours and Martin ahouted out: "shut up, antuie!" I died laughing.

Valentina: I do NOT know where she gets these things from, probably from TV. Anyway, she went into the kithen, with a pair of small balls tucked inside her shirt. She came up to me, my mom and my aunt and said "I have breasts!" O-M-G.
Then: "Do you have breasts, mommy?"
My aunt was in shock, practically, while I was laughing my head off, and she replied "um...of course I do, all big woman do, but not little girls like you!" and the thing is, as my aunt doesn't really have so much because she is as thin as a stick, Valentina replied doubtfully and disbelievingly: "huh? You have?" :lol: :lol: :rotfl: I think she's been looking at models on TV!

Lucas: This happened just a few days ago. He's this really beautifull kid, blond hair, blue eyes, and a really sweet face, so everyone practically turnes round to look at him. Once, he and his mom, which means my aunt, went into a supermarket, and as he seemed to be choosing what the best food was and stuff, pretending to be an expert, the salesclerck smiled and teased him saying "Look at this, we've got a little cook here!" and then, to my aunts embarassment, he turned round and shouted at her "I am NOT a cook!". My ant wanted to die, and she was surprised because he's always a very good-natured kid. And to make matters worse, when they were out in the street an old woman turned round and said: "What a lovely child!" and Lucas turned round, once again, and shouted "Oh, shut up, you!" :rotfl: And the same day, when he saw an old man sitting down on a pavement, he shouted: "There's an old guy sitting there!" so my aunt scolded him: "Lucas! You shouldn't say old guy! What do you say?" and so he replied, "all right, bloke, then!" I almost died of laughter when my aunt told me :lol:

:rotfl: I remembered another.

Last year, my 3 little cousins were in the local production of Annie Get Your Gun. The oldest, Hunter, played Little Jake (he was the only one of the little ones that had a speaking part and he did sooo well!). One of Little Jake's lines is, (In a heavy southern accent): "Ah'm hungrah, Annah". He said his lines amazingly. :love:

Then, about 4 months later, I was babysitting them and the 6 year old came up to me, leaned on my shoulder and said, "Ah'm hungrah, Annah!"! (my name is Annie, so it was pretty cute). :rotfl: I couldn't believe he remembered his brother's lines from the play so long ago! And he said them perfectly! :rotfl:

I have two six-year-old twin cousins, so the funny moments with them are endless. One of my favorites is when the girl got a time out, so her mom pointed to the window and told her to go stand over there. She got extremely upset and started crying and wouldn't go. Her mom asked what was wrong, and she responded, "That's the wrong window!" Apparently the was used to being asked to stand by a different one. :lol:

When my brother in law was about 4 or so he was being rather stubborn and his mum told him "you're being so pig-headed". Some time later she found him looking in a mirror, crying his eyes out. She asked him what was wrong and he said "I don't have a pig's head!". She felt so terrible, and despite this happening more than 25 years ago, I think she still feels terrible!

This same brother in law used to think that the world used to be black-and-white, just like in old movies.

When my sister was a nanny, she was laughing at something the 3 year old boy had said to her and said, "Calvin, you are full of baloney". and he started crying and screamed, "I am not!!!". :rotfl:
So she explained to him that it just meant he was silly. So then he stopped crying, and said, "Oh. Well you are full of loney too!"

Today, Craig had his preschool graduation. He was so excited he stayed up until 1:30AM :sigh: When I got to his school for the picnic, he looked so adorable in his little hat. Then he was crying, and he was telling his teachers he didn't want to sing. He said, "I only sing in private, by myself!" Which made me laugh, because it is so true.

Then when the teacher was giving out the "diplomas" she was giving a brief description of each child and saying some good things about each one. When she got to Craig she started off by saying, "This little boy is very witty and thoughtful. His favorite color is green, and he makes sure everyone knows how much he loves green. He has lots of friends and is very social. He also comes up with the most creative excuses when he doesn't want to do something; for instance, the other day I told him to put his shoes back on, and he told me that he couldn't because his feet were afraid of the dark! SO come on up and get your diploma Craig."

I almost died laughing when she said that. He does have the funniest excuses :lol: That kid cracks me up! :rotfl:

Last October we kept Mikey - my nine-year-old - home because he had a bit of a fever and said it really hurt to swallow. So hubby - a stay-at-home dad - made him some chicken broth for lunch.

Mikey took a huge swig, made a really sour face, and goes, "It tastes gross...like a coffee table."

I didn't know my child tasted coffee tables regularly enough to know! :rotfl:

When Mikey was two or three and potty training, we had a few hugely amusing instances. He was in there one time for a "number two," and we could hear him grunting out his ABCs because he was singing them while actually going!

Another time he was doing "number two," we were in our bedroom and could hear a sing-song voice from the bathroom: "Toiii-let paper! Where aaarrre you, toilet paper? I'm going to wipe my butt with youuu!!" We absolutely lost it! :rotfl: Apparently, the roll was out and he needed a new one! :lol:

And when he was first learning to go, he'd sit down on the little seat that snapped onto the big toilet, whether he had to do number one or number two. He calls me in there after a simple number one, and I get in there and he's holding himself up with one hand, and is holding the other hand up to me. "Mommy, can you wipe my hand, please?" He'd gotten pee on it, which I can understand because he would've been holding his equipment down, right? So I wipe his hand off. THEN he looks up at me, one eye squinted shut, and asked, "Can you wipe my head, please?" HE'D BEEN LEANING OVER TO WATCH HIMSELF PEE THROUGH THE CRACK BETWEEN THE SEAT AND THE TOILET RIM, AND PEED STRAIGHT THROUGH ONTO HIS HEAD!! :rotfl:

And he came home from daycare the next day with a great, big "X" on his forehead - he'd been doing it again and fell off the toilet, landing with his head where the floor tiles joined together. :lol:

We went to pick Dylan up from nursery the other day to find him in his spare set of clothes and without any shoes.

It had been raining pretty hard all day but had finally stopped long enough for them to go outside. There were some pretty big puddles.

It turns out Dylan had walked into the middle of a puddle, hence the lack of footwear, turned to his teacher and said 'I think this is going to be wet' and proceeded to sit down in the puddle! The teacher was crying with laughter as she told us this one.

My mum recently told me of something funny my son said when she'd taken him out for the afternoon.

My mum, step-dad and Nathan had gone to a local farm and on the way back my mum said "What is that horrible smell? It smells like gas.", then my step-dad said "Actually, I think it smells like something had died."

Nathan said to both of them, "Well, maybe it's dead gas then?"

:lol: Me and my partner we're in hysterics when we heard about it.

Nathan also has a habit of comming out with completly random thing. We were talking about what we were planning to do over the weekend, then he stops and says "I like chips" :lol:

And Kim, your stories about Mikey always crack me up! :rotfl:

LBuccalo, pretty much all your stories are hilarious as ever.

Now on to my story (or stories, depending where this post goesss):

My friend she has 1 little sister and 3 brothers. Her sister is 14 so of course she can take care of herself - sometimes. Her 3 brothers are all under 10 years old, so you can imagine the chaos within that home. Well the youngest is about 3 years old. Potty training. And this kid is like...annoying. But he's 3. He needs support. So whatever happens, he just has to call someone about it. Whether he drew some weird shape with a crayon or he spilled something. Well one day, I was over helping my friend out with looking over her brothers. She was in one of the bathrooms doing her hair and I was in the living room. The youngest kid was in the bathroom down the nearest hallway (doing business). Well he was calling myyyy name. I immediately thought, 'Oh god....' haha. I stood outside the door. I was like what Brian? He said come and look! I said look at what! And he just said just come and look! So i came in. There he was standing by the toilet...pants down...toilet paper stuck here and there :eeep: He was pointing into the toilet. He was all look! And yes...we all know what was in there. Buttttttttttt he was all - do I get a prize?! I was like a prize for what? And he said 'For getting out a big one!' Now, here's a thing about me - I can have quite a gutter mind at times. And at that time, yes.... I took what he said the wrong way. I came out of the bathroom laughing like heck. The kid ended up being so mad at me :( Because I didn't "congratulate him on his achievement.":err::grumble:

Oh, gosh, my sister (20 now) when she was little was the funniest thing, I swear.

Let's see. She was either 2 or 3 and my mom had decided to buy a jar of artichoke hearts. My sister loves pickles. She saw the jar, opened the jar, tasted what was inside. She proclaimed "I don't like that!" and wiped her hands all over the wall.

At about the age of 2, my mom took my sister to the store and bought her some shoes. She wanted the shoes badly, so as the cashier rang them up my sister asked to see them. My mom asks her what the magic word is and she replies, "Bibbidy-Bobbidy-Boo!"

I've got more...

We recently took a vacation to the beach for a family reunion. My family in North Carolina is pretty redneck and so it is always funny to go see them. Well my aunt came over to our beach house one day to visit and we were all hanging around and talking while the kids were swimming.

Now my aunt has really bad teeth, and when Craig got out of the pool he came up and said hi to her. When he saw her teeth he said, "Um, what's wrong with your teeth?" and my aunt replied, "I am old." and Craig just looked at her for a second and said, "Do you brush your teeth?" and she said, "Yes". He looked at her very skeptically and replied, "Oh yeah, when was the last time?" and she looked at him, obviously annoyed and said, "This morning." and he stared at her hard for a moment and said very sarcastically, "Yeah, okay".

I was trying to hold in my laughter. It is so mean to laugh, but seriously it was one of the funniest exchanges ever. You just can't beat a 5 year old in bluntness. :lol:

Oh, gosh the most famous line in our house comes from this story.

My sister was in first grade and my mom came to her class to help out with something. My sister was on the other side of the room and the minute my mom walked in my sister shouts out,
"Mom, don't you know you're supposed to brush your teeth before you come to school!"

:rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl: Leah! You gotta love kids!

This past weekend my 4 year old said "I can sell hello in Spanish. Guten Tag!" I thought that was great. :)

I had (and still have) an extremely independant daughter. By the age of 3 she was determined to dress herself. Most of the time her choices were quite "creative" and very colourful, and I would let the teachers know when she dressed herself. Imagine my surprize when one morning she came out of her bedroom wearing a white blouse,a tartan skirt, and matching vest, white socks (they even matched) and her "pretty shoes" I was quite impressed, and she looked absolutely adorable. At her preschool, the pickup time was 6pm, but seeing that I worked until 6, my neighbour would pick her up for me. When I got home, my neighbour said that I was in big trouble. Not having a clue what they were talking about, I asked why? Well............SURPRISE! my little angle was trying to do headstands at lunchtime and it turns out that she forgot to put underwear on!!!! Luckily the school had some extas.THen she proceeded to tell them that it was my fault!. When I asked her why she said that it was my fault, she said "well I didn't want them to know that I did it"
Needless to say she had to pass inspection before leaving the house after that!:D

:rotfl: It's horrible...

We were at my cousin's grandma's birthday party, and the little ones were running around and being crazy. Some guy put his hand on the 4 year old's head, to try and tell her to slow down, and she apparently didn't like him doing that, because she turned around, looked at him and said, "Stop that!...or I'll kill you"

We were so shocked, but it was hilarious! :rotfl: I have no idea where she picked it up from.

We were so shocked, but it was hilarious! I have no idea where she picked it up from.

:rotfl: :rotfl: Don't worry, Craig says that stuff all the time :p

He told me the other day he was going to cut off my head and sew it back on upside-down. It was so random, but hilarious.

He also tells me frequently that he is going to break my heart, specifically when I won't let him do something he will say, "Mom I am going to break your heart, just like how you broke mine!"

Craig made a new friend, a friend that my little sister calls the "evil kid" or just "the thing". She hates him because I guess he is mean to her. Well I had a talk with Craig about how he needed to stand up to his friends and let them know it isn't ok with him to be mean to his family. It was a long talk which involved lots of excuses from Craig about why he hadn't (my brain just gets messed up sometimes...the chip in my brain is malfunctioning...that sort of thing).

So the next day as we were eating dinner he said, "Mom, can I go play with that thing that Megan hates?" and I was so confused so I said, "What thing?" and he sighed, "You know that thing that lives over there, that Megan hates...can I go play with him?" So of course I realized he was talking about "the thing" as in the little boy, and said he could.

The next day that little boy, whose real name is Trenten, was over playing with Craig and my nephew Brian. They were playing in the backyard in this big dirt pile that Craig has claimed as his construction site and I was on the other side of our pool about 20 feet away watching them. They were all talking and I couldn't hear what they were saying until Craig suddenly stood up and yelled, "That is IT! You are not my friend anymore!" and Trenten looked up all alarmed and said, "What? Why dude?" and Craig said, "Because you are mean to my Megan and that is NOT okay with me!" which of course made me melt a little bit. Trenten then started to make excuses and he was stuttering things like, "Well she is older, she is mean to me--you don't understand because she isn't mean to you" Well the last part of that is a complete lie, Megan is meaner to Craig than anyone :lol:

Craig stood strong letting him know that he wanted to be friends he needed to be nice to Megan. A few minutes later he came over to me and was really sad looking. He sat in my lap and hugged me, and then Brian, my nephew, came over to me and said, "Aunt Lindsey Craig was being really mean to that boy!"

Craig looked up and got really mad and said to Brian (his best friend)"NO BRIAN! That white kid (Trenten was wearing a white shirt and Craig is REALLY bad with names) got inside your mind and messed it up! I know because he did it to me too! He just got inside my mind and messed it all up!" Brian walked away to play with Trenten and Craig looked at me with tears in his eyes and said, "Mom that's it. The good time days are over now, Brian doesn't want to be my friend anymore." :rotfl: I was trying so hard to stifle my laughter. The whole scene was so adorably funny that it just made me hug him super hard.

Awww Bless him. It's hard being a child sometimes :)

I don't know any young kids really, but my brother and I have some good stories.

My brother was really crazy when he was younger. My parents called him Energy Bundle. Well one day, he was eating a red popsicle, red being his favorite color, and decided it was too cold. (It was like, mid-July.) So he took the popsicle, and put it in the microwave for over a minute. The thing exploded and after that, our microwave was always tinted slightly red.

One day when I was about 2 probably, and my brother 4, we were at my uncle's house for a visit. My uncle has cats, and one of them always hid under the bed, while the other just always demands attention. They're cats, what can you do? I've always loved cats though, so I go up to the one, and try to pet it, but apparently it wasn't so happy that day. It hissed at me, and I started to cry. So my brother comes up to the cat, points right in it's face and says very sternly "Ever don't bite my sister again!"

We always fought when we were little, about everything. My mom would get so mad at us all the time for being loud and mean to each other. But one fight was just too hilarious, so it's always remembered. We were arguing over something or another, I don't know what, and my brother says to me "Well you can't know, 'cause you're not 5 yet." And I yell back at him with plenty of attitude "Oh yeah!? Well you're not 2 yet!" :p

My son Craig is just so sweet and to demonstrate this I will relate what he said to my older sister last week :p

My older sister was watching Craig while I got some homework done (this really doesn't involve a whole lot but I humor her by letting her believe it is imperative for my studying) and they were watching some tv and talking. Craig was looking through a Halloween catalogue we had just received in the mail, and he was pretty quiet (which is unusual as you can tell from the massive amounts of posts in this thread ;)). Well anyways, he suddenly got up and sat next to my sister and said, "Aunt Amanda, if you had a baby it would look like this!" and proceeded to point this pic, http://i38.photobucket.com/albums/e126/LBuccalo/Icons/183-300-Two20headed20baby.jpg and then he said, "If you had a baby like that I wouldn't touch it!"

Ahh he is so sweet....:p

^:rotfl::rotfl::rotfl: He's so cute!

My little cousin actually did something really sweet the other day, so I thought I'd post it. He just turned 11, and his birthday and my mom's birthday are on the same day. So we were at his house for his party, and we all sang to him and as we got to the "Happy birthday dear Hunter" part, he screamed out at the top of his lungs "Happy birthday, dear Auntie!!!!" and then sang the rest of the song to my mom. It was completely adorable! :love: And then he blew out all but one of his candles and told her to blow out the last one. :love: He's the sweetest little thing! *dies*

... My 3 year old niece has an odd obsession with death.. I don't think she understands what it is, but she likes telling people "Go die, and I'll come save you"
.. I was giving her a bath a while ago, and she hates getting water in her face, so to wash her hair, I asked her to lay down in the bath tub.. (Which had about 2 inches of water in it) .. then she tells me "If I do that, I'll die." ..
... When playing with toy swords, she 'stabbed' me, and said that I was dead.. Then she tells my boyfriend that he has to kiss me to make it better... After I'm 'alive' again, she tells me that it's my turn to kill her, and the boyfriend has to kiss her too o.O

... She also really likes my boyfriend.. says that she's going to grow up to be just like him... They play guitar hero together..

... A while ago, my niece pointed to her grandmother's stomach and said "You have 2 sets of boobies"...

... I took her to the park, and she wanted to build a sandcastle.. I told her that she needed dark sand to keep the castle together.. She said she didn't want to use "sand poop"

She went to the zoo, and when I asked her how it was, she kept telling me about all the different sized animal poop she saw.

..When she was about to go to sleep, my boyfriend asked if he could get a hug before she went to bed.. She said no.. When she was about half way upstairs to her room, the boyfriend said "Aww, you're going to make me cry." .. She ran down the stairs screaming "NOOOOO!!! Don't cry!" and gave him a hug. .. Now, she always makes sure to give him a hug before going to bed, because she doesn't want him to cry.

... A while ago, my niece pointed to her grandmother's stomach and said "You have 2 sets of boobies"....

:rotfl:


And my niece used to have a crush on my husband while we were still dating. ;)

Okay, I have to share mine.

My nephew is three and he loves everything that my eight-year old nephew likes. My older nephew is in football, so my younger nephew is obsessed with it too. Well, my younger nephew watches Kalel, my older nephew, get ready for football practice after school. Well, he watches Kalel put his cup in his shorts for manliness protection. So one day after Kalel had left, Xzavier walks out into the living room, and I don't know what made me look at him, but I did. Well, he looked big in that area, so I asked him what had happened. He just smiled at me bashfully, and my mom said to come here. She looks in his pants and burst out laughing. She pulled out what it was and showed it to me. You know the peg egg that you use to clean your feet? Well my nephew had taken the cover and used it as a cup!! :lol: It was so funny because it just appeared enlarged, and to think he had gotten the idea to just use that! It was hiliarious. I told his other aunt about it and she burst out laughing, she thought it was so funny and ridiculous that he thought of it. :rotfl:

:rotfl: That is too adorable! Little kids are so much more observant than we give them credit for, not to mention creative.

I was looking at People magazine today (sexiest men issue :eyebrows:) and I was drooling over Robert Pattinson (amazingly hot pic might I add) and I exclaimed, "Dear Lord that guy is so HOT!"

My son Craig came over and looked at the picture and said, "Mommy, you can't date him because then he will be my new daddy."

I started laughing and I said, "So I am never allowed to date again?"

To which Craig responded, "No you can date REAL LIFE boys...just not actors."

Yesterday my 5-years-old son declared himself "Mr. Clean" and decided to clean the bathroom because a friend of mine told me she would come in the afternoon. Of course he broke my baby's eau de toilette because he thought it was a nice sent for the bathroom and of course... my friend didn't come... :lol:

We recently went to a wedding and as Dylan's hair was a bit long I got my dad to get the clippers out. It's was going okay until Dil suddenly decides he doesn't want it done and tells dad 'that's my hair grandad not yours!'

Also this gem from Jacob's birthday this passed weekend. Hubby says to Dylan something like 'we've Jake a year now haven't we' to which Dil replies 'Yes daddy I think we need another baby now' To say the colour drained from Stuart's face is an understatement. :lol:

I was looking at People magazine today (sexiest men issue :eyebrows:) and I was drooling over Robert Pattinson (amazingly hot pic might I add) and I exclaimed, "Dear Lord that guy is so HOT!"

My son Craig came over and looked at the picture and said, "Mommy, you can't date him because then he will be my new daddy."

I started laughing and I said, "So I am never allowed to date again?"

To which Craig responded, "No you can date REAL LIFE boys...just not actors."
:rotfl:
My niece loved Josh Hartnett. When I was watching Pearl Harbour, she used to sneak in for all the Josh scenes:lol:
We recently went to a wedding and as Dylan's hair was a bit long I got my dad to get the clippers out. It's was going okay until Dil suddenly decides he doesn't want it done and tells dad 'that's my hair grandad not yours!'

Also this gem from Jacob's birthday this passed weekend. Hubby says to Dylan something like 'we've Jake a year now haven't we' to which Dil replies 'Yes daddy I think we need another baby now' To say the colour drained from Stuart's face is an understatement. :lol:
:rotfl::lol: Those are funny!!
My niece couldnt come to my cousin's engagement which happened the past weekend. So she tells him " Dont worry, I'll come the next time you get engaged";)

Needless to say, his fiancee had quite a laugh over that one:p

Okay, I have to share mine.

My nephew is three and he loves everything that my eight-year old nephew likes. My older nephew is in football, so my younger nephew is obsessed with it too. Well, my younger nephew watches Kalel, my older nephew, get ready for football practice after school. Well, he watches Kalel put his cup in his shorts for manliness protection. So one day after Kalel had left, Xzavier walks out into the living room, and I don't know what made me look at him, but I did. Well, he looked big in that area, so I asked him what had happened. He just smiled at me bashfully, and my mom said to come here. She looks in his pants and burst out laughing. She pulled out what it was and showed it to me. You know the peg egg that you use to clean your feet? Well my nephew had taken the cover and used it as a cup!! :lol: It was so funny because it just appeared enlarged, and to think he had gotten the idea to just use that! It was hiliarious. I told his other aunt about it and she burst out laughing, she thought it was so funny and ridiculous that he thought of it. :rotfl:

:rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl:


My little cousin had her 4th birthday party recently. There were three other little girls there who were about the same age. My Grandma, Mom and Aunt set up the party and made a little runway for the girls to have a fashion show and they bought all new dress-up clothes and accesories and my older cousin and I voulenteered to do make-up and hair.

In Oklahoma, most people are huge football fans, you know how to throw a football and rather you root for Oklahoma University or Oklahoma State University, by the time your potty trained. We all live in Oklahoma.

So, it came time at my cousins birthday party for the fashion show, one of the little girls came out in a green cheerleading skirt, long-sleeved black shirt and an orange pom-pom and a pink pom-pom, most of the girls before her, had done a little pose and walked back stage, however, she did a whole cheer going like this: "1,2,3,4! Uh-huh! Uh-huh! GO SOONERS!!!" (for, those who may not know Oklahoma University are the Sooners), while waveing her pom-poms everywhere and attempting to end in a split. It was so adorable and hilarious! The girls had at least 5 turns to go out and model during the fashion show and this little girl came out and did the same exact cheer, everytime.

The girls had at least 5 turns to go out and model during the fashion show and this little girl came out and did the same exact cheer, everytime
Awww. Did she win? :p

I have a little nephew who asked me to buy him a little truck. When his mom said, "Oh, no, she might not have time to come by here", he said something on the lines of how maybe I could just throw it out the window of the airplane, and he'll stand right there and catch it. It was incredibly cute. *Smiles fondly*

Yesterday my mom was trying to give my little brother, who is 2, some medicene. He was playing Wii baseball and said, "No!" So my other brother comes up and says, "Come on drink the medicen or Im turning the game off" So my baby brother runs up to the Wii turns it off and says, "Hahahaha I dont have to drink my medicene!" And then he ran....

Yesterday my mom was trying to give my little brother, who is 2, some medicene. He was playing Wii baseball and said, "No!" So my other brother comes up and says, "Come on drink the medicen or Im turning the game off" So my baby brother runs up to the Wii turns it off and says, "Hahahaha I dont have to drink my medicene!" And then he ran....

Oh how the mind of a 2 year old works! :lol: Dylan doesn't actually play our Wii he spends most of the time ducking from over enthusiatic adults!

Oh how the mind of a 2 year old works! :lol: Dylan doesn't actually play our Wii he spends most of the time ducking from over enthusiatic adults!


:lol:

So yesterday I was on ze computer, and my little brother (2) comes up and says, "I wanna play hotwheels!" (He has an obbsesion with cars.) SO I said, "All-right one second." and he goes, "No NOW!" And im all, "Excuse me?" and he gets right up in my face and says, "I gonna eat you!" "I gonna EAT you!!" Then he trys to bite me!

.... I dont even know where he got that from......

Tonight after an all day eating binge our family took the little ones out for sledding on the new sleds Santa brought. My 21 month old niece was having a blast sledding and was giggling the whole time. Her dad stopped by where we were standing and I asked if she was having fun. She nodded and smiled. I then asked "can I try sledding?" She then, plain as day said "No, you'll break you neck." LOL! She continues to surprise us of all the things she knows how to say. We just about died from laughing.

My little brother made up a rap that he does while on all fours and bobbing his head up and down with a blanket draped over him. He calls it "The Bantha Rap" It goes something like this: (Banthas are creatures from Star Wars. They don't live on Kashyyk.)

" 'Cause I'm a Bantha!
I'm a Bantha!
Tusken Raiders poke me with their sticks
and that really stinks
I'm a Tusken Raider
I'm a Tusken Raider
I'm Tusken Raider transportation!
I'm on Kashyyk!
I'm on Kashyyk!
Jacen
Jaina
Jacen
Jaina
My stupid bantha sister (Me, supposedly)
sprayed glitter on a towel
that I dried off with so...
I'm a sparkly Bantha!
Sparkly Bantha!
WHUT!":rockon:

....I have no idea where he got that. He's 11. (I told him that if he sang like that in the old days, people would have stoned him.)

We (my sister, brother and I) got Mario Kart Wii for Christmas, and of course my brother (he will be five April 1.) loves playing it. The other day he played as Donkey Kong, and suddenly he burst out: "Donkey Kong has boobs. But he hasn't got milk in them, it's ape juice." Needless to say, we almost died with laughter. :rotfl:

We (my sister, brother and I) got Mario Kart Wii for Christmas, and of course my brother (he will be five April 1.) loves playing it. The other day he played as Donkey Kong, and suddenly he burst out: "Donkey Kong has boobs. But he hasn't got milk in them, it's ape juice." Needless to say, we almost died with laughter. :rotfl:

:rotfl: That made me laugh so hard!

:rotfl: That made me laugh so hard!

Yes, he has his moments... Like when we were driving past a dump for household waste, where it of course stinked, he asked my sister: "Did you just fart?" We still laugh until we cry, also because of his expression and cute way of speaking... :lol: I don't understand where he gets all his funny thoughts from, like when he asked how it was for our Grandmother how it was to live with the dinosaurs! :rotfl:

my brother, a few years ago ( i think he was 15/16 at the time), said:

"A plane with four engines does NOT fly."

then i proceeded to show him planes with four engines. and that they did in fact fly.

I've got many of these kind of stories. :lol: I have four younger brothers and sisters and four kids of my own.

Our town isn't all that big and there still alot of buildings being built, that yr they had just built the first strip club, it's built to look like a castle. Well my youngest son I think he was about 2 or 3 yrs old was in the car with my mom and I and asked us what that building was for cause it had pictures of women on it. I laughed and told him he didn't need to know, my mom tells him that where men go to watch women dance, and before i could even finish telling my mom that he didn't need to know that, my son pipes up and says ''Thats gross, they must be per-verts'' :rotfl:

heres one on my lil sister lol

she was about 16 i think, I was watching a show about deep sea spear diving, and some one was asking me what was the size of the last fish i told them and then i remember something where i read how this man caught a 600lb tuna with just a spear gun, so i was finishing telling him it when my sister asked me how that got all that tuna into those lil can. :hmm::rotfl:

Well this little child is not in my life anymore...

Ivan was my step dads girlfriends son..when this happened he was like 5...

My older brother use to go on the roof of our old house and of course Ivan wants up there, but he isn't aloud to be up there, so my brother would be like "I flew up here" then Ivan was like "well can you make me fly up there" and my brother(and me somewhat) were like saying well it only works sometimes and like he can't make you go up there and got him to believe my brother can fly and was magic...(course this was when he was 5 he is like 8 now!) sounds so mean now :lol:

My little brother, he's 3 years old, absolutely adores Bill Kaulitz (y'know from Tokio Hotel). Every time I'm on the computer he goes, "Bill? Where's Bill? Can I watch Bill? Bill is awesome!"
And he loves their song Scream, and he can sing the chorus. My grandparents are home, and last night when we were eating I was like, "*coughSCREAMcough*" and he starts, "Scream, 'till you feel it! Scream 'till you believe! Scream, and when it hurts you, SCREAM IT OUTLOUD!!! Scream 'till you feel it! Scream 'till you believe it! Scream and when it hurts you SCREAM IT OUTLOUD!" Then he does the rock sign with his hands, and yells, "ROCK ON!"

Apparently I have corrupted my young innocent brother...but seriously, it's as funny as hell

OK, so theres this stuff called "pipe dope" it's a purple primer you put in PBC pipes before you glue them together. My dad uses it to fix sprinklers.
I was about 2-3 and we were at the mall, my parents ran into a friend from work. They were talking and my mom said we had to go because we needed to get to Home Depot before it closed. I immediatley agreed with her saying "Ya, we need to go. Daddy needs to go get some dope for his pipe!"

So about 6 weeks ago my friend's Specer and Rebeka came over for dinner. Now mind you this is the first time my wife and I are meeting Beka. So it's after dinner and were all hanging out in the living chatting my son Sam is asleep but our older son Collin is ready for bed but getting to hang out for a little while with the adults.

Collin is sitting on Bekas lap talking to her when he decides to feel her up and asks Beka "are these your boobies?"

Karole and are were pretty embarrased ans well as Beka but Spencer loved it.

Don't have kids, I'm too young, lol. But I remember when I was ten I wanted to heat a hard boiled egg up. Terrible idea. I never took the shell off. I put it in for a minute, heard a loud op, and it dissapeared like magic!!! Nothing remained. i honestly thought harry potter ate it...ask my mom, i was freekishly so into believing the stories were real.

I baby-sit my neighbor's twin boys a lot. They're 10 months old now, and SO CUTE! They make me happy... They seem to have senses of humor already - I'm convinced they're going to be the next Fred and George. But today I was changing their diapers and one of them had a spoon down the front of his! It was strange...I was kinda shocked and when I pulled it out the kid starts laughing like a maniac! What the heck? Haha, I love those guys. :lol:

Don't have kids, I'm too young, lol. But I remember when I was ten I wanted to heat a hard boiled egg up. Terrible idea. I never took the shell off. I put it in for a minute, heard a loud op, and it dissapeared like magic!!! Nothing remained.

When I was like 8 I went through this stage of eating raw eggs. But the problem was they were always cold when I gulped them down, so I stuck a raw egg in the microwave for about 15 seconds and when it came out, it was cooked! XD Then I would cook my eggs that way.

Anyway, my story....

When I was really little my grandmother/mom/dad had this huge bamboo stick that they would use to whip me and my brother. (it hurt like ****)

Eventually what I did was I hid the stick from my parents so if they tried to whip me they wouldn't be able to find the branch, but if my older brother got in trouble, I would innocently bring out the stick and tell them, "Here's the stick, mommy."

LOL I'm so evil to my brother. :lol:

Theres an old video of my brother on his 3rd birthday opening presents. He gets to this huge one and tears off the wrapping paper and whatever it is (I can't remember now...) is inside a cardboard box. My dad, being funny says "Oh look! You got a box!" and my brother proceeded to scream "YAY! A BOX!" and he was generally so stoked about it :rotfl::rotfl::rotfl:

When I was four, I pulled down the whole washing machine. It was a wonder that it didn't squash little me. I think I was saved by my guardian angel. Or I'd be an angel right now :angel: Oh wait...that's not funny...that's a miracle I wasn't squashed to death.

I got another one. Me opening the kitchen cabinet and taking out ALL the stuff from it. I think I was three...because I was quite small, but I still remember it. I liked to take stuff out. My mom made me put everything back again. We have a picture of it.

Two funnies.

My son is 8 years old and could be a surgeon in training. He was wrestling with his father and nailed him with his knee in the side. My husband oomphed hard. My son then asked him in a concerned voice--
'I'm sorry, Daddy, did I hit you in the pancreas?"

My nephew was afraid of getting his vaccinations. All through the day he was very nervous. When the nurse finally came in for the shots he got very quiet and closed his eyes. He didn't cry or breath heavy. After she was done his mom asked if he was okay. He said yes, it didn't even hurt. She asked him why not. His answer? "I turned myself into Humongasaur." (A Ben 10 referenced to all you moms out there!)

My nephew was afraid of getting his vaccinations. All through the day he was very nervous. When the nurse finally came in for the shots he got very quiet and closed his eyes. He didn't cry or breath heavy. After she was done his mom asked if he was okay. He said yes, it didn't even hurt. She asked him why not. His answer? "I turned myself into Humongasaur." (A Ben 10 referenced to all you moms out there!)

Okay, that is just too too cute. :love:

My 3 year old daughter has started meowing all of the time and asked us to call her Fluffy. Should I be worried? :)

My 10-years old sister has a friend called Hope in my language. One day, Hope sneaked in the staff's office at school while nobody was there. She saw the paper-printing machine and pussed a button. Then the machine started printing copies of the very last paper it had inside. It was just printing and printing until it crushed. The teachers turned out to call the engineer. :lol:

My 3 year old daughter has started meowing all of the time and asked us to call her Fluffy. Should I be worried? :)
No, when she starts drooling at the mouth and sprouts two extra heads, then we have a problem. :scared: :p

A week ago today, we took Mikey to the MN state fair so he could go on the rides at the midway. While there, we stopped to share a footlong Pronto Pup (corn dog) between the three of us, an order of fries and an order of cheese curds. We found a bench and sat down, and while we were eating, Mikey was looking around at everything. Behind us, there was a place to get on the skyride. He was reading the rules, and suddenly goes, "Mommy, if we go on the skyride, you and me have to take off our glasses."

Matt and I both looked at him and went, "What? No we wouldn't."

And Mikey came back, logically, with, "Well, the sign says no food, no drinks, and NO. GLASSWARE."

Matt and I dissolved into laughter, and Mikey goes, "WHAT?! IT SAYS NO GLASSWARE!" :lol: :lol:

And this past Saturday, we were in the car, heading off to run a few errands after dropping off Mikey's sleepover friends (he turned 11 on Friday). They have several gerbils, and Mikey was saying that they smell, so Matt informed him that his bedroom would smell like that ALL. THE. TIME. if he got his own gerbil. And then Matt also explained that I'd never be able to go into Mikey's room again. He said, "You like it when Mommy tickles you and plays games with you at bedtime, right? And when she kisses you and hugs you and tucks you in?" And Mikey, slowly following along, "Yeah."

Matt: "Well, Mommy wouldn't be able to do that anymore if you had a gerbil." Trying to reason with him.

Mike: "We could put it in another room, it wouldn't have to be in my bedroom." Mumbling a little, here.

Me: "Like where, Mike? We don't have a big apartment."

Mike: "Well, like the living room, maybe."

Me: "I couldn't go in the living room anymore, then."

Matt: "She wouldn't be able to sit with us or watch movies with us, or play video games, or eat dinner even, since the living room and dining room are all one big room, Mikey."

Mike: "Well, it's probably just the fur she's allergic to." Petulant, now.

Matt: "That's EXACTLY what she's allergic to!" Smiling, but still being reasonable in explaining.

Mikey, exasperated and edging into the-answer-is-so-obvious-you-dummies mode: "SHAVE IT!"

Matt and I just about lost it, picturing Matt carefully shaving a small rodent! And Matt replies, "I'm not shaving a gerbil!!" :rotfl: :rotfl:

God, I love my kid! :lol:

No, when she starts drooling at the mouth and sprouts two extra heads, then we have a problem. :scared: :p


Great! I think we're okay, then! :lol:

[QUOTE=Psyche3;5417465]A week ago today, we took Mikey to the MN state fair so he could go on the rides at the midway. QUOTE]

Your Kid sounds Hilarious. I just took my 3 1/2 year old on the giant slide this year.

A week ago today, we took Mikey to the MN state fair so he could go on the rides at the midway. While there, we stopped to share a footlong Pronto Pup (corn dog) between the three of us, an order of fries and an order of cheese curds. We found a bench and sat down, and while we were eating, Mikey was looking around at everything. Behind us, there was a place to get on the skyride. He was reading the rules, and suddenly goes, "Mommy, if we go on the skyride, you and me have to take off our glasses."

Matt and I both looked at him and went, "What? No we wouldn't."

And Mikey came back, logically, with, "Well, the sign says no food, no drinks, and NO. GLASSWARE."

Matt and I dissolved into laughter, and Mikey goes, "WHAT?! IT SAYS NO GLASSWARE!" :lol: :lol:

And this past Saturday, we were in the car, heading off to run a few errands after dropping off Mikey's sleepover friends (he turned 11 on Friday). They have several gerbils, and Mikey was saying that they smell, so Matt informed him that his bedroom would smell like that ALL. THE. TIME. if he got his own gerbil. And then Matt also explained that I'd never be able to go into Mikey's room again. He said, "You like it when Mommy tickles you and plays games with you at bedtime, right? And when she kisses you and hugs you and tucks you in?" And Mikey, slowly following along, "Yeah."

Matt: "Well, Mommy wouldn't be able to do that anymore if you had a gerbil." Trying to reason with him.

Mike: "We could put it in another room, it wouldn't have to be in my bedroom." Mumbling a little, here.

Me: "Like where, Mike? We don't have a big apartment."

Mike: "Well, like the living room, maybe."

Me: "I couldn't go in the living room anymore, then."

Matt: "She wouldn't be able to sit with us or watch movies with us, or play video games, or eat dinner even, since the living room and dining room are all one big room, Mikey."

Mike: "Well, it's probably just the fur she's allergic to." Petulant, now.

Matt: "That's EXACTLY what she's allergic to!" Smiling, but still being reasonable in explaining.

Mikey, exasperated and edging into the-answer-is-so-obvious-you-dummies mode: "SHAVE IT!"

Matt and I just about lost it, picturing Matt carefully shaving a small rodent! And Matt replies, "I'm not shaving a gerbil!!" :rotfl: :rotfl:

God, I love my kid! :lol:

OMG! That's exactly how my son thinks too! That could be a convo from my house! :rotfl:

Me, my mom, my sister, my aunt, and three of my cousins went to a baby shower last weeked. The little cousin, Ronin, who's three, can "beat box". It's so cute. He holds his fists to his lips and does the whole spitting, beat boxing type thing. I laugh every time because he's just so adorable.

Also, I was sitting with him, and he turns to me and says, "You be my girlfriend?" I had to say yes, because how could you say no to a three year old? I love that little guy.... :D

As a child, I firmly believed in the Tooth fairy. When I was seven, I actually placed my tooth on the sink, hoping I would be left a penny. My mom told me not to be ridiculous...but I insisted that she'd come. In the end, she never did come-but my mom still gave me a penny. I think after that, I'd sworn off childish fantasies. (I never did believe in Santa, anyway)

One of my favorite funny kid stories is to do with my neice.

It was Christmas Eve. We had a big family/friend get together. Once all the festivities were done with the children we sent them off to bed so we adults could play Santa Claus. After we completed Santa Claus duties some adults went to bed. Others of us weren't tired yet so we settled at the kitchen table to a couple adult beverages and a game of cards. One by one we all got tired and went to find a place to sleep. I cleaned up the dishes from the adult beverages before going to bed as I knew some of the kids had a tendency to get up and get a glass of water to drink, then go back to bed. So I figured these kids didn't need adult beverages in their path.

A couple hours after I settled down and was sleeping I woke up to the smell of peppermint, my 3 year old neice grasping at my neck and shoulders, tears streaming down her face, saying "Aunt Stephy! Hot! Hot! No water! No water!" Not fully awake I pick up my neice comforting her. I take her to the kitchen and get her to catch her breath and drink actual water. I look to the counter and see a glass with liquid in it that looks an awful lot like water, but which obviously was not. I pick it up and smell it, smelling that familiar peppermint scent that I woke up to.

Grandpa must have come back to the kitchen and made himself a drink (peppermint schnapps) amidst my cleaning up.

I of course explained to my neice that is not a good idea to pick up a drink and drink it if you do not absolutely know what it is. I allowed her to smell it to remind her what she was drinking was not water even though it was clear and looked like water lol.

The funny thing to me about this whole story is that my neice is 13 now and to this day is she still picks up the glass and smells it before she drinks if she had not made the drink herself.

She has heard the story in conversation off and on growing up. But she doesn't actually remember the event. She was only 3 years old.

I watch my lil step sister(not blood related, long story), she is 11 months. The other day I was trying to get her to sleep and she didn't want to, she loves to try and stick her fingers in other peoples mouth(she is interested in your teeth) and I wouldn't open mine, so she went AWW, so I'd open my mouth(it was so funny and cute), because it is what I do when I am trying to feed her(or see what she found and tried to eat). I did open my mouth, how could I not? :lol:

She also starts dancing to any music, sometimes when there is none, it is sooo cute:)

She also pretends to pout, then doesn't and gives you a big smile, its so funny.

The other day, we were visiting my mother-in-law. My son and his baby came over for a visit. My motherr-in-law has a coupl of toys that play music. One is a dog that plays songs and his ears wiggle when you press his paw. the baby started to chew on the dog's ears when my son turned on the music. the baby loved it.
another toy is a Santa Claus that plays music and shakes his hips. When my grandson crawled over to the table, he pulled himself up and dance to the music that Santa was playing. He is nine months old. (My grandson)

You all are really having the wonderful funny stories in your life... I have to say with really bad mood.. that I haven't that kind of story in my life..

I have some stories about the kids in my class, one guy believed he could fly. He jumped down staircases every now and then. He also put himself in the oven because he was cold, and ended up being locked in it. He also made the microwave explode. The bloke is 15 now and his parents still won't let him use the microwave. (I swear, he's is troubeled, which is rather funny at times)

Another kid went on the mixing tour with several liquids and left a huge explosion....

Well I have a few...

My youngest sister Addy is 9 and she is the most adorable thing in the world! Well the other day, after I made it home from work I spoke with my Mom and she asked me to call their house to see if Addy made it home from school alright. I called, and Addy answered. The conversation went something like this:

Addy: Hello?
Me: Hey Babygirl, so you got into the house alright?
Addy: Yeah.
Me: Mom called me and asked me to call to make sure you were alright. How was school?
Addy: Oh, school was dandy. Look, thank you so much for calling, I appreciate it. But, I am in a big rush to get to Katherine's. Alexandra is taking me right now. We are supposed to be out the door already. Well, thanks again for calling...my date of Littlest Pet Shop and ice cream is waiting. Have a great day!
Me: Alright, have fun behave!
-click-
:D

Another, when Addy was 4

My Mom, my Aunt, Addy, and I were in the kitchen at my Mom's house one night that I stopped by, when Addy looked at the front page of the newspaper and saw a headline about something she didn't like. Immediately, she slammed the paper down and said, "What the heck(improvised for the other that rhymes with well)! Those b*******(rhymes with mastards) don't get it!" My Mom and I immediately stopped our conversation and our heads turned to look at her so fast, all Addy could do was put one hand on her hips and the other raised slightly as if trying to prove a point. My Mom said, "Addy you know that isn't something little girls say. That's angry adult language." Addy dropped threw her hands in the air and said, "Mom, adult language? I speak it!" As much as my Mom was shocked at what came out of her daughter's mouth, she couldn't help but break out into a fit of laughter with my Aunt and I.
:D
Addy has always been very, very smart. Sometimes the things she says have so much wisdom behind them...its odd. Almost like she was from a different time.

It's not so funny right now but I'm sure in a year or two it will be. Last night my boys 5 and 2 1/2 were running around and acting crazy. when I heard a loud crash I counted to 3 and then my oldest Collin started crying It turns out Sam (the younger) broke Collins Femur on accident.

Oh my my! Well I wish Collin a speedy recovery! Boys will be boys! :)

alright mothers your gonna love this one
i was 10 and my mom is a security guard
i found her handcuffs and hancuffed my FEET TOGETHER
then i couldn't find the keys
xD my parents and brother got a kick out of it

Your stories have me giggling over here, I'll have to post a story of my own, but first I have to stop my 1 year old from terrorizing the cats. :p

So, I don't have children, but I've seen lots of them since in my Greek family I already have 10 first cousins :D All of them a lot younger than me.

My cousin Katerina is 5 years old. Her dad, my uncle, has a job at ships which includes travelling for months before coming back, so she has a special weakness for him. The other day they were playing at the park and he kind of fell down while chasing her and she was all "Daddy are you hurt?!" and started crying. She's really a tomboy and really stubborn, always gets her way and is like that only with her daddy, haha :)

Right now, her mummy is pregnant. One day they had gone to the doctor to see the baby, and Katerina was reading the magazines with clothes for pregnant women and turned to the page with underwear. So she yelled in the entire place "Mummy look! I'll buy this for you so you can put your boobies in!" The whole room was laughing :lol:

My 3 year old daughter has started meowing all of the time and asked us to call her Fluffy. Should I be worried? :)

Nah. I used to do that to when I was little. I just preferred horses to cats and I was Black Beauty :lol:

I have got two 3-year-old sister (yes, they're twins) who are just too cute sometimes xD

They're named Eva and Malin.
Eva can close just one of her eyes if she wants to (I don't know what this is called like in English, I'm sorry...we call it "Klipsauge" xD You do it when you want to see through a microscope, telescope, take a photo or whatever, I guess you know, what I mean...but I will have to use the word "Klipsauge" so that the funny part about this little story will work).
I asked Malin if she can make a Klipsauge, too, and she replied: "No, I can even make two!" an closed her eyes xD

:lol:

In English, "klipsauge" would be winking. Two eyes is called blinking. That's a cute story.

Thanks for the translation :>

Although to "make a Klipsauge" is "zwinkern" in German. The closed eye itself is called a "Klipsauge" (Auge=eye), but this is a more child-like word. I don't even know if it exists everywhere in Germany, perhaps it's just in our dialect...but whatever, that's not the topic here! xD


And yes, the two of them are very cute :>
Ah, one day Malin wanted to help my mother to tidy up and asked if she should put the dog food away (it was in the kitchen, but belongs in another room).
My mother told her that she could do it, and so she grabbed the dog food and brought it to the room it belongs in...but she didn't simply put it on the floor, but in the washing machine! xD (she didn't know how to put it on, though - that would have been far worse, I guess xD)
After that she went back to my mother and told her that she had "cleaned everything up"...when my mother discovered the dog food in the washing machine, she first wasn't really pleased about it, but then had to laugh as well.

I don't have any kids but I do have a funny story a lady at work told me about her daughter, I will tell it as innocently as the little girl did, although it has a hidden racy punchline to it!

This little girl went to stay with her grandmother on weekends to visit and such, well one weekend she came home and told her mom "hey mommy, you know what, I think grandma and grandpa are poor" and her mommy says "what makes you say that honey?" and the little girl without missing a beat replies "because they really have to save money on their water, they take their bath at the same time!"

My co-worker still blushes when she tells us this story. :rotfl:

Well I have a lot, I watch my lil sister(almost 3) and her lil bro(1).


About a week ago I was talking to my mom on the phone, my lil sister calls my mom Meme (her name isn't anywhere near that btw, no clue why she started saying that). Bella(sis) says "who you talking to?" I am like my mom, shes all meme!! and I stuck the phone to her ear and was all say "hi" instead of just saying hi, she takes the phone and is all "hi meme, how are you?(walking off into the kitchen)" and goes "hold on addie im talking to meme"(my names ashley btw). And wouldn't give me the phone back. She was acting like she was an adult, it was cute and funny.

Then one time Bell was suppose to be napping and she wasn't and I go in there and talk to her...she has stuffed animals(she calls them babies), she HAS to sleep with, ones a bunny she calls Sweet pea(this one she has to have no matter what), when I went in there she had been talking to her "babies"...I told her she needed to sleep, then she was all in a sad little voice, "Sweetpea told me to shut up" I was like WHAT?? She sad in a louder voice "Sweetpea told me to shut up", I was all "why would he say that?" "he wouldn't say that" lol...idr what was said after, but it was funny.

my cousin had been playing with barbies, with her daughter, who is 6 i believe. the Ken doll had his pants down, and was sitting in the bathroom section of the barbie house thing. when my cousin asked her daughter what ken was doing, she replied he's pooping mommy!


there is another story, but it's not really....family friendly.

I used to work at a convenience store, and you get to know the local police officers really well. I was talking to one of them, and this little boy came up to her and asked, "Are you the po-po?"

Ah. True story.