Ask Snape

Severus Snape... Potions Master, Head of Slytherin, Death Eater, Hogwarts' Headmaster, The Half Blood Prince... I'm sure you'll have millions of questions to ask him, so here's your opportunity! Ask away!

*CoS Forums Staff is not responsible for Mr. Snape's answers, snide remarks, or anything else that he might do/say on these forums.

(*it takes Iggy about 15 minutes to pen something that lacks giggles, blushes, drooling, and insane babbling*)

Hello, sir!

I was just in the supermarket looking at the chocolate displays, and wondering what sort I should anonymously (ha ha) mail to you with a frilly green ribbon attached: white, milk, or dark? What's your preference?

All my love,
Iggy

P.S. http://e.deviantart.com/emoticons/b/blowkiss.gif

You have clearly neglected to read my . . signature, I believe they're called?

I need to speak with Kingsley about this so-called Snape Group you mention and how I might shut it down.

:love:

Can I have a detention with you?

*waits for snide remark she will cherish*

Your signature, sir, conveys a singularly bad idea. Do not under any circumstances put us in detention with you. It's for your own safety.

ETA: Ah, Snapegirl beat me to it.

Severus Snape - I have but one question for you. Why were you such a cry baby over Lily choosing James Potter over you ?

:love:

Can I have a detention with you?

*waits for snide remark she will cherish*
I'm with that! *Goes and destroys Dumbledore's office hoping she will get detention with Snape*

Why are you going to shut down our appreciation groups Professor Snape? We love you! We want you to be thankful that you have all of us adoring fan girls.

Oh, professor, just ignore Kevin. He's just jealous of your awesomeness.

snape, you might want to add iggy personally to your sig. She is the leader of these alleged fangirls :rotfl:

I'm with that! *Goes and destroys Dumbledore's office hoping she will get detention with Snape*

Why are you going to shut down our appreciation groups Professor Snape? We love you! We want you to be thankful that you have all of us adoring fan girls.

I'm simply revolted. I have no words.

I do have a question for you... Are you planning on washing your hair any time soon?

Yes, destroying all of Dumbledore's stuff is kind of extreme...They were friends, remember? Taylor, you need to destroy James' stuff!

I'm simply revolted. I have no words.you will be happy to know that I don't fangirl you then :relax:

I do have a question for you... Are you planning on washing your hair any time soon?

Shove off, Fido.

Shove off, Fido.
:rotfl:

I fail to see how my personal grooming is any business of yours.

I agree with Sirius.

Of course you do.

I for one think his hair is lovely. :love:

(Where is he anyway? I think I chased him away...:sigh:)

Sirius has a point, though, professor. (Can't stop calling you that, sorry. It's just a habit.) And that leads to another question; do you use a lot of hair gel or does your hair just naturally lie like that?

Of course you do.

I for one think his hair is lovely. :love:

(Where is he anyway? I think I chased him away...:sigh:)

You're doing it all wrong. You have to complement his job performance. Watch and learn.

You were a wonderful headmaster, sir. It was the best performance anyone ever had - and I even predicted you'd be a great headmaster in advance. Slytherin has never been so proud.

*facepalm* Draco, thousands of students were tortured under his Headship, and he spent that year under constant stress. Compliment something else.

For one, I'm sure you'll be pleased, well, not completely revolted, to know that I'm not one of your fangirls. I do respect you, but....

Ok, so questions.

Before you considered teaching as an occupation, did you have any idea what you wanted to be? Or were you planning to remain a full-time death eater? This is directed before Voldemort's downfall, obviously, and the prophecy.

There's rumours around the fanbase that you were an unregistered animagus...the most common theory is that of a bat...I, personally, don't beleive these theories but- I'd like to know your opinion on them.

Three, what do you think of the fact that a. Harry thinks you're the bravest man he ever met; b. that he named his middle child after you; c. the name of Albus Severus Potter and d. that the boy named after you looks like James yet with Lily's eyes?

Oh, and, nice sucking up, Draco. But you would have thought you would have stopped with the compliments after sixth year.

And as for Sirius' question? I'm sort of curious too :)

Severus Snape - I have but one question for you. Why were you such a cry baby over Lily choosing James Potter over you ?
Yes, Snivellus, old boy. Didn't you get the hint? She clearly preferred me.

Get stuffed, Potter. Literally. Some backwoods hick would love to have your Animagus form decorating his living room.

I need to speak with Kingsley about this so-called Snape Group you mention and how I might shut it down.

I can assure you, Professor S., that the Snape Group is completely harmless.

Completely. :relax:

And I defy Kingsley himself to squash its power. :evil:

:love:

Ooops, just ignore that. :p

Anyway, my two questions to you, sir, are THESE:

1) Does your portrait hang in the Headmaster/mistress's study at Hogwarts now? (As I believe it should.)

2) I believe that Harry Potter was instrumental in getting your heroism recognised after your unfortunate death. Correct? :)

Um, there is a third. I too am dying to know what you make of H. Potter naming his second son after you. :whistle:

Oh ... and I am very happy to see you on these forums. :)

P.S. Iggy, I'm not sure that thousands of students were tortured by the Carrows. :whistle: :D Dozens, certainly. :sigh:

P.P.S. Mr Black, the shampoo jokes have got old. ;)

P.P.P.S. Mr Potter, likewise with the 'Snivellus'. :cool: Ah, I see that Iggy has responded. :rotfl:

2) I believe that Harry Potter was instrumental in getting your heroism recognised after your unfortunate death. Correct? ;)

He'll never admit it. Just watch. :lol:

P.S. Iggy, I'm not sure that thousands of students were tortured by the Carrows. Dozens, certainly.


But hyperbole is fun! :D

P.P.S. Mr Black, the shampoo jokes have got old.

Very old. -_-
Your constant repetition of them makes one suspect that that was why you hated him in the first place...:whistle:

Oh yes, and why do you and James use the word "Snivellus"?....makes one think you didn't grow up past the same childish taunts...also makes one think that perhaps that you two aren't very creative. Such a shame, since you did write the Marauder's Map. Perhaps your sense of humor needs work...

He'll never admit it. Just watch. :lol:

Oh, I know he won't, but I had to ask. :lol:

Yes, Snivellus, old boy. Didn't you get the hint? She clearly preferred me.

Tsk tsk, James, what would Lily say if she saw this? I thought you were over the whole 'Snivellus' thing. Don't sink to Severus' and Sirius' level of exchanging snide remarks in the afterlife!

Professor Snape Sir *trembles* could you please recommend a good potions book for beginners, afterall you are the best potions master Hogwarts school ever had - in fact I would go so far as to say that you are THE Potions Master.
And I was wondering who or what you were plotting revenge against sir - something beginning with G - er... goblins, gnomes, giants, girls, great big black dog, great big rat, general public...

I was thinking either "gods who gave me such a crappy life" or "gryffindors"...

I'm simply revolted. I have no words.
Sorry, do I get detention?

I doubt you'd like the Severus Snape bashing group though. Would you like us to get rid of that one, because we would all be delighted to.

I think we did, actually. Now that group was revolting! The Spinner's End Irregulars, on the other hand, have their priorities straight.

Yes, Snivellus, old boy. Didn't you get the hint? She clearly preferred me.

I shall not speak to you in my own space...

As for the rest of your... tedious questions, I will answer nothing personal at all. I have no idea who you people are nor do I want to.

As far as potion books go, Miss Weasley, you are a muggle and I doubt they would do you any good.

Awww!!! Snape! Can I call you Sev?

No personal questions, ok.

Is your favorite color black? :)

(that's too personal, is it?)

Awww!!! Snape! Can I call you Sev?

No you most certainly may not!

No personal questions, ok.

Is your favorite color black? :)

(that's too personal, is it?)

That is not that personal... oh alright yes. Now will you leave me alone?

Never.

Why do you insist on tormenting me in this manner?

Because we love you. :)

What's your favorite food? That's not to personal or ... fangirlish, is it?

That is not that personal... oh alright yes. Now will you leave me alone?
Yay! It's my favorite too!!

Sorry, but you're so fascinating and awesome, I can't leave you alone. :D

I think we did, actually. Now that group was revolting!That group was awesome!

Yay! It's my favorite too!!

Sorry, but you're so fascinating and awesome, I can't leave you alone. :D

At least you show some taste...

That group was awesome!

:no:

At least you show some taste...
Thank you, Sir!

Oh, and, nice sucking up, Draco. But you would have thought you would have stopped with the compliments after sixth year.


There's such a thing as "gratitude". Mr. Malfoy appears to be familiar with the concept. ;)

You're doing it all wrong. You have to complement his job performance. Watch and learn.

You were a wonderful headmaster, sir. It was the best performance anyone ever had - and I even predicted you'd be a great headmaster in advance. Slytherin has never been so proud.

Thank you Draco, I did not see this earlier...

Yes. She might even have grown to love him romantically (she certainly loved him as a friend) if he had not loved Dark Magic so much, and been drawn to such loathesome people and acts.

J.K. Rowling said that^ about Lily and you. How does that make your feel? Wait that's too pesonal, isn't it? Sorry. So... what type of shampoo do you use; that's not too personal, is it?

How dare you bring that up! I will not speak on this painful subject... except to say, I tried my best to redeem myself.

I'm sorry, really, I wouldn't want to talk about it either, and if it helps, I think you did redeem yourself.

I tried my best to redeem myself.

And it worked! :tu:

I'm sorry, really, I wouldn't want to talk about it either, and if it helps, I think you did redeem yourself.


I neither have asked for nor do I need your thoughts... I must ask you to stop discussing this topic all together. I would rather talk about my hair than this, and I hate to discuss my hair...

All right...

I have a question: Who was your least favorite pick for the DADA position?

Alright, what your favoirte vegetable?

All right...

I have a question: Who was your least favorite pick for the DADA position?

Thank you. And now I shall return the favor and answer your little question... My least favorite was, anyone who wasn't me.

Alright, what your favoirte vegetable?

I enjoy brussel sprouts.

I enjoy brussel sprouts.

Wee bit of a contrarian, aren't you? ;)

Wee bit of a contrarian, aren't you? ;)

You pester me...

It's my job, sweetie. :)

What's your favorite number?

I enjoy brussel sprouts.

An excellent choice for a sophisticated palate. I know some great recipes for brussels sprouts. :)

I love how exceddingly random the questions have gotten on this thread :lol:

Hello Professor! Great to see you here. :)

I have one question for you, Sir.

From where did you learn Occlumency and Legilimency?

Did you ever answer the question of what type of shampoo you use? I mean, you're hardly an advertisement for it. :whistle: Or perhaps there is no answer. :)

He doesn't know. He gets his hair hand-washed by his adoring fans. :love:

Hey, a girl can dream!

Professor Snape, I just found you're here. It made my day, nay, my week, and probably even month!!! I, um, I mean we here love you SO MUCH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! :love: :love: :love:

P.S. I couldn't wait to read the thread first, so if you have already expressed your displeasure with silly displays of hysterical love, I apologise, but I cannot hold it back! SQUEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!

*is vastly amused* :D

As for wanting the Snape group shut down, I believe that the Potions Master protesteth too much. I think he's enjoying himself, although he'll never admit it. ;)

*waits patiently for Professor Snape to answer her questions*

An excellent choice for a sophisticated palate. I know some great recipes for brussels sprouts. :)

I hope you do not expect me to trade recipes now...

Professor Snape

Can you tell me what makes a person a great potioneer (apart from yourself of course)

Sir, could you reveal the 'other' possibility to deal with Dementors than by casting a Patronus? I think young Mr Potter mentions something about you teaching a different method during his Sixth Year, but I don't think it was ever disclosed what this was exactly.

As far as potion books go, Miss Weasley, you are a muggle and I doubt they would do you any good.
Actually it's Mrs Weasley :D

And why on earth are you listed as a first year? That's just not right! Surely you should be one of the "next great adventurers"?

And I know you would never answer this question Professor but it has to be asked: Boxers or briefs - (or perhaps commando? :eyebrows: )

And I know you would never answer this question Professor but it has to be asked: Boxers or briefs - (or perhaps commando? :eyebrows: )

Cathy! :wow:

I thought I was fearless but that really takes the biscuit. :lol:

No you most certainly may not!



That is not that personal... oh alright yes. Now will you leave me alone?
I will show you some respect and call you only Professor Snape.

Yeah! :clap: that's my favorite color too! :D

I do have a question though. What is a man of your stature doing at a place like this? First you are beyond the veil, second you are a very high statured man, and third, this place is covered with fangirls.

I should tell you not to answer anything DeathlyH says. Me and him may be friends, but he hates you with every fiber of his being.

I hope you do not expect me to trade recipes now...

Your skill in devising new and improved recipes for Potions is well-known to us, as it is featured in Ms. Rowling's works. Se we would naturally be delighted if you condescended to share a favorite recipe. :)

...though I mentioned my brussel sprouts recipes as a possible lead in to an invitation to dine at my place...

Do you like Quidditch?

Snape...Why are you so Snapey?

When you asked Harry to look at you when you were dying...Is it because you wanted to see Lily's green eyes before you died? :yuhup:

Did you like Harry at least one tiny bit?

He won't admit to that! :rolleyes:

Your questions are all very bothersome to me...

To the one who asked me to dinner... NO. I do not socialize.
To the one who dared to ask that horridly personal question... I shall answer not.
I despise quidditch
I lothe fangirls and what I am doing here is none of your affair.

Yes, I love Harry more than life itself... what do you think?

Yes, I love Harry more than life itself...

Seriously??

:rotfl:

Clearly you have no conception of sarcasm

Sarcasm? What's that? *goes to look it up in dictionary*

Oh... that was so funny I almost fell off my chair with laughter...

Oh... that was so funny I almost fell off my chair with laughter...

Glad to be of service :relax:

Seriously??

:rotfl:

One might deduce it from the man's actions. ;)

*tries valiantly to suppress a.....*

:love:

Glad to be of service :relax:

I thank you most humbly...

Did you hate HArry due to who his father was? or because he was the one to Disrtoy the Dark Lord?

and if was the former don't you find that a bit unfair? to hate some one JUST because of parantage?

Yes, Snivellus, old boy. Didn't you get the hint? She clearly preferred me.

Come on, James. It's his thread. So much for Lily saying you've matured... *sighs* But I still love you!

I do have a question for you... Are you planning on washing your hair any time soon?

Just because Snape has greasy hair doesn't mean he needs to be constantly reminded about it. Goodness. These jokes are getting very childish, Sirius. It's all right, though, because I still love you.

Professor Snape, I just wanted you to know that I always trusted you! I admit you weren't my favorite character... and that I did hate you for a while... and that I was upset that you chose the wrong friends... and that you never really helped Harry with his Occlumency... and... wait, what was I getting at?

Oh yes. I lov - I mean, really admire you, Snape.

Oh, and Professor - how do you feel about Alan Rickman's portrayal of you? *hopes that question wasn't too personal*

Clearly you have no conception of sarcasm

Sarcasm??

What's that? :p :p

Which professional quidditch team is your favorite? Who was your favorite person you worked with at Hogwarts?

To James and Sirius: Honestly, you two, you would think that even in death you would have at least gained otherworldy wisdom and matured a bit...clearly that is not the case. I am very disappointed. :no: (But I still admire you two!)

To the Professor: Did you ever actually have a favorite student, or were they separated into "Dunderheads", "Smarter than dunderheads", and "Competent"?

Hm. I can't believe I missed the premiere of this thread.

I'm going to call you Sev. Deal with it and act like a child on your own time. I've already got two kids (three, depending on your perspective) to take care of and I would hate to hear more whinging.

I like you. I wouldn't call myself a fangirl, but I do adore your personality.

I realize I haven't asked any questions.

I lothe fangirls and what I am doing here is none of your affair.
Tisk, tisk. You may have to dock a couple of points from your ego for that serious spelling error, Severus.

*le gasp* 0_0

I keep telling him to take his Punctuation Potion, but nooooo! He's too stubborn to listen to me, and now look what's happened! Not only has he been neglecting his commas, but he has made a spelling error. Take your potion, Severus Snape, or I shall make you take it.


Oh, and agreeing with everyone who says James and Sirius are childish berks and Snape's thread and hair are none of their business. :agree:

Professor Snape, have you seen any fanart including yourself? What do you think of the fanart featuring you and Lily Evans? You can look through some of the finest pieces in our social group created to your honour :D

I would be interested how your, Professor Snape, and Albus Dumbledore's relationship is now - how do you see his machinations to bring down Lord Voldemort now that all is said and done?

Lily says you spend your time "elsewhere."

Where is elsewhere?

*hopes and prays this question isn't too personal*

What's your middle name?

Professor Snape at times I think you and I are one seeing as I can have a temper like yours at times and act as you do when I'm mad. We're perfect for each other! :love:

I hope this doesn't offend you, but I personally adore your snarks, your sarcasam, and all the rude things that you say. If you give me sarcasam I will take it with joy along with so many other things.

You should come and rate our snarks at the Beat the Snark Master thread. Perhaps you could give us some of your own as well.

It amazes me how a great potion's teacher and a great wizard such as yourself could be a first year! You deserve to be the greatest potion's teacher Hogwars has ever had. That is what your title should be. It also amazes me that I am a higher level than you. Although I won't bost or brag about it because I feel very bad about it. You deserve to have a much higher rank than me.

Did you hate HArry due to who his father was? or because he was the one to Disrtoy the Dark Lord?

I never wasted so strong an emotion as hate on the boy, but few could deny that he was far too like his father.
Oh, and Professor - how do you feel about Alan Rickman's portrayal of you? *hopes that question wasn't too personal*Acting is truly one of the most worthless professions on earth, and since I'm certain I can blame him for a large percentage of these "fangirls" I can't say I hold him in high esteem.
Which professional quidditch team is your favorite? Who was your favorite person you worked with at Hogwarts? As I previously stated, I have no love for Quidditch, and you must certainly have misconstrued my character if you believe I favored any of my colleagues with more than casual tolerance.

Did you ever actually have a favorite student, or were they separated into "Dunderheads", "Smarter than dunderheads", and "Competent"? As I just mentioned, I never had reason to acquire more than tolerance for those that surrounded me at Hogwarts, though there were a few Slytherin's over the years that showed a bit more wit and aptitude than the average rabble that filled my classes.

I would be interested how your, Professor Snape, and Albus Dumbledore's relationship is now - how do you see his machinations to bring down Lord Voldemort now that all is said and done? He was quite right when he commented that we sort too early, his Slytherin qualities can hardly be overestimated.

Acting is truly one of the most worthless professions on earth

Funny. You seemed to do quite a lot of it on the job(s).

Acting is truly one of the most worthless professions on earth, and since I'm certain I can blame him for a large percentage of these "fangirls" I can't say I hold him in high esteem.

So it would seem, Professor. So it would seem. *steeples fingers* My best friend has been a fangirl since before the movies, so I believe Alan Rickman has nothing to do with a small percentage of your fanbase.

As I just mentioned, I never had reason to acquire more than tolerance for those that surrounded me at Hogwarts, though there were a few Slytherin's over the years that showed a bit more wit and aptitude than the average rabble that filled my classes.
Could you give us specific names? Was Draco one of the Slytherins who showed more wit than others?

I doubt it. He's more looks and money than brains. Git. :agree:

Acting is truly one of the most worthless professions on earth, and since I'm certain I can blame him for a large percentage of these "fangirls" I can't say I hold him in high esteem.

He is but a Christian to your Cyrano, Professor, at least in the mind of this Roxane. It was your words, Sir, that won my heart (and later your actions, too): :)

"You are here to learn the subtle science and exact art of potionmaking," he began. He spoke in barely more than a whisper, but they caught every word -- like Professor McGonagall, Snape had y caught every word -- like Professor McGonagall, Snape had the gift of keeping a class silent without effort. "As there is little foolish wand-waving here, many of you will hardly believe this is magic. I don't expect you will really understand the beauty of the softly simmering cauldron with its shimmering fumes, the delicate power of liquids that creep through human veins, bewitching the mind, ensnaring the senses.... I can teach you how to bottle fame, brew glory, even stopper death -- if you aren't as big a bunch of dunderheads as I usually have to teach."

Quite irresistible, I am afraid. :love:

*sigh* :love:

Well, the verbosity of it is actually quite poetic and even entrancing...aw, crud, now y'all have got me going...:grumble: :lol:

Isn't he brilliant? I love his logic puzzle in PS/SS! :love:

Yeah, that was pretty cool. Logic over magic. :agree: It's probably how DD won the Elder Wand from Grindy.

Isn't he brilliant? I love his logic puzzle in PS/SS! :love:

Yes, he is:love:. He's one of the most amzing men alive...er... dead. :drool:

*lightly* I wouldn't say that, although he might. Depending on how inflated his ego is. :shrug: *:lol: Dodges Iggy's wrath*

The only one with an overgrown ego around here is the Toerag-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named....and his loyal mutt.

You get the feeling I love being mean to them? :lol:

Noooo...:lol: I just like telling them (and, to a certain extent, the Professor) to pull their heads out of [the clouds...yeah...although that might be a little difficult, due to their current state :lol:] and leave their idiotic rivalry behind. They're DEAD, for goodness' sake. GET. OVER. IT. *evil eye*

The only one with an overgrown ego around here is the Toerag-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named....and his loyal mutt.

You get the feeling I love being mean to them? :lol:


No, sorry. I like them, a little bit. But I love Severus:love:! I've never gave James or Sirius the honor of a smile with a heart!

I get that. I just like to opine here. On the rest of the forum, I have to bite my tongue a lot. :lol:

By the way, Severus, you skipped my question; I'm extremely depressd by this! :sad: But I'll repeat it. I understand, as perfect as you are, you can't be perferct all the time. What's your middle name?

Funny. You seemed to do quite a lot of it on the job(s).

I have not nor will I ever portray anyone else but myself...

Could you give us specific names? Was Draco one of the Slytherins who showed more wit than others?

No I cannot, there were some, that is enough.

I have not nor will I ever portray anyone else but myself...

But you were fantastic in the role of "loyal Death Eater". ;)

Did you enjoy any muggle past times as a teen or during your tenure as a Hogwarts professor?

I-It happend again...:sigh:...:no:, y-you, skipped my question! :upset: What's your middle name?

I-It happend again...:sigh:...:no:, y-you, skipped my question! :upset: What's your middle name?

Aww...Don't let mean ol' Sev make you sad. *shoots the Professor a warning glare* It's probably "Tobias".

Aww...Don't let mean ol' Sev make you sad. *shoots the Professor a warning glare* It's probably "Tobias".

Your right, I shouldn't let mean ol' Sev make me sad. Thank You.

I never wasted so strong an emotion as hate on the boy, but few could deny that he was far too like his father.

but few could also deny that you seemed to dislike HArry from the begining....BEFORE he could show he was like his father....why?

Professor Snape, allow me to ask you a few questions.

Sir, how do you feel knowing that though you fooled Voldemort with your wonderful act of Death Eater-ness, yet thousands of fans across the globe were unable to believe that you truly were on Voldemort's side? Does that mean the Muggles are smarter than Voldemort, or that Jo dropped too many hints about you being good in her books, or both?

Also, how do you respond to the theory that everyone has a little of each house in them? I believe you replied to the 'Sorting too early' question already, with a rather amazing response I might add.

Also, I'd like to thank you for taking over as Headmaster of Hogwarts when Voldemort took over. Anyone else would have probably murdered all the students first day. Rather ungrateful, weren't they? Honestly, those kids....

Aww...Don't let mean ol' Sev make you sad. *shoots the Professor a warning glare* It's probably "Tobias".

Admit it, Iggy - you're trying to get detentions with the Professor again, right? :lol:

I lothe fangirls and what I am doing here is none of your affair.Now I never thought I'd see the day when I would be correcting the Professor's spelling but isn't it loathe? I guess it'a a Freudian slip (Freud was a muggle psychologist Professor) - lothe is a little close to love!

Clearly you have no conception of sarcasmGiving yourself away again Professor - grammatically that should be "Clearly you have no concept of sarcasm" You used of the word "conception" - perhaps you were thinking of something else? :whistle:


ETA: It's probably "Tobias". :agree: Yeah I think it's Tobias as well (no wonder he doesn't want to tell anyone - I don't think he liked his dad) but Tobias is a lovely name - I even contemplated it for one of my children.
I'm not telling what I chose instead! :whistle:

Acting is truly one of the most worthless professions on earth, and since I'm certain I can blame him for a large percentage of these "fangirls" I can't say I hold him in high esteem.

Sir, I admire you all for yourself. I do not see Alan Rickman as you and I really don't think there's an actor who can do you justice on screen.

More than your looks, your character intrigues me. Of course I do have the deepest admiration for your soft voice, the black fathomless eyes..... :sigh:

Alan Rickman does not come anywhere near IMO, Sir.

He was quite right when he commented that we sort too early, his Slytherin qualities can hardly be overestimated.

Touché! :agree:

I could not agree more with you on that particular subject, Professor Snape. :tu:

(I hope Professor Dumbledore reads this thread. :evil: )

:agree: Yeah I think it's Tobias as well (no wonder he doesn't want to tell anyone - I don't think he liked his dad) but Tobias is a lovely name - I even contemplated it for one of my children.
I'm not telling what I chose instead! :whistle:

It isn't, by any chance, Severus or some variation of this like Severin or so...?

Yes, I love Harry more than life itself... what do you think?

I just saw that. :rotfl:

I want to frame that comment! :D

And you called him Harry. :eyebrows: I think you protest too much, Professor. :lol:

It isn't, by any chance, Severus or some variation of this like Severin or so...?Actually it was James :lol: I just didn't think the Professor would like to hear that name on his thread

Actually it was James :lol: I just didn't think the Professor would like to hear that name on his thread

Cathy, I am appalled! How could you! This is betrayal - naming your child after the bane of the Professor's existence... :no:

LOL I guessed, having read about this elsewhere, but did not quite dare to use "that" name on this thread. CathyWeasley, you should not have said anything. Now you are going to invite the Professor's wrath and his sarcasm and an awful lot of detentions on your head......

Wait!!!!! Maybe it's a good thing after all. :lol:

Admit it, Iggy - you're trying to get detentions with the Professor again, right? :lol:

Maaaybe....:eyebrows:


Cathy seems to get a lot of detentions with Severus.
*leans in conspiratorially* What's your secret? How do you accomplish that? :D

I think what we did to his profile might land us both detentions, Iggy dear...:lol:

Smart as the Professor is, I suspect he must've caught up on the fact that detentions isn't exactly the punishment which would have the desired effect on fangirls ;)

One (and by that I mean Iggy) can only hope. :p

I'm not telling what I chose instead! :whistle:

:lol:

Cathy, I am appalled! How could you! This is betrayal - naming your child after the bane of the Professor's existence... :no:

It had nothing to do with that James! And anyway with 3 brothers, 3 brothers-in-law, 5 nephews and 4 other sons we were running out of boys names! (I guess now you get the Weasley thing!)

Please Professor! Return to us! Have we done something to make you go away?

Do you drink firewhisky? If so can I have some?

*looks at age in PureBloodGirl's profile and gasps pedagogically*

Dear Prof. Snape,

Where are you, off vacationing in Aruba? :lol: Come back and answer questions!

Iggy

Acting is truly one of the most worthless professions on earth, and since I'm certain I can blame him for a large percentage of these "fangirls" I can't say I hold him in high esteem.

And I thought you'd like all these fangirls. It's certainly a lot more girls than you ever got at Hogwarts.

EDIT: I'm sorry! That was a mean, snide, Gryffindor comment. I'm feel bad... a little.

Fleur du mal, your sig and avvy...:rotfl:

Come back, Sev! Don't be such a spoilsport because we flooded your profile and *some people* are fangirling over you here! :lol:

Sev is a spoilsport on principle. :p It just makes him all the more lovable. :lol:

But just where is Snape? Has he gone on holiday? *hyperventilates*

I hope not. I hope not. I hope not. I hope not. I hope not. I hope not. I hope not.
I hope not. I hope not. I hope not. I hope not. I hope not. I hope not. I hope not.
I hope not. I hope not. I hope not. I hope not. I hope not. I hope not. I hope not.
I hope not. I hope not. I hope not. I hope not. I hope not. I hope not. I hope not.
I hope not. I hope not. I hope not. I hope not. I hope not. I hope not. I hope not.
I hope not. I hope not. I hope not. I hope not. I hope not. I hope not. I hope not.
I hope not. I hope not. I hope not. I hope not. I hope not. I hope not. I hope not.

Awwww....*pats Priya on the head* There, there. I'm sure he's just saving up his snark for when he can best impress us lovely ladies. ;)

I hope so :D; he's been missing for how long now? Some 3 - 4 days at least.

:upset: Yup....We're bereft of our Snapey-poo! Wahhh! :upset:

I hope he's just off somewhere spending time with Lily. :love:

I hope he's just off somewhere spending time with Lily. :love:

:tu: :love: :love:

And I hope James is standing along with Sirius and Remus watching the 2 best friends catch up with each other. :evil:

And I hope James is standing along with Sirius and Remus watching the 2 best friends catch up with each other. :evil:

:evil: Isn't vindictiveness fun? :evil:

Bad and evil tops! :tu:

Who wants to be good when I can get so much evil pleasure in such small things. I can only imagine the sheer happiness I will have as I graduate to bigger evil andf truly horrible things. :D :lol:

I am going to make Snape and Lily bestest friends all over again. I'll start off my evil career there. Make someone burn with jealousy! YES! :D

:rotfl: Making Snape and Lily friends again isn't evil: it's only fair! ;)

Now, making James jealous--that's evil...a necessary evil! :elaugh:

I am going to make Snape and Lily bestest friends all over again. I'll start off my evil career there.

Wow I love it - I wish more people were evil like you TGW! the world would be such a nice place :lol:

now you're dead have you got shampoo?

Sir-

Can you in your authority as Potions Master and all-around awesome guy ban hackneyed shampoo jokes from this thread? :grumble:

Iggy

now you're dead have you got shampoo?
Oh how original! Excuse me while I die laughing! The sharpness of your wit is truly staggering. (And besides you can talk! :p )

Shampoo references should definitely be prohibited in this thread!

Come back Sevvy we wuv you!!!

Do you want a massage? - a foot rub? - head massage?

she'll grease you up with er... if I said your hair, would I get a detention?

Apparently James and Lily are off on a holiday and Sev is sulking. :D So there you go. *shows a James-like smirk* ;)

Apparently James and Lily are off on a holiday and Sev is sulking. :D So there you go. *shows a James-like smirk* ;)

Keep telling yourself that one. :elaugh:

Meanwhile, we will unleash our eeeevil plan...:evil:

We hate you, Snape! Now will you come back? Obviously you don't like fangirls or people who like you, so maybe you'll come back if we all start saying rude comments.

But Professor Snape can tell if people are lying just by looking into their eyes. And even if he doesn't try Legilimency, it's obviously a lie to say we hate him anyway...

No, I think we'll just have to get him back the good old-fashioned way: bribery. :evil: Maybe I belong in Slytherin after all...:whistle:

Sevy-dearest, I have the pictures of you with Narcissa, Bellatrix, and Lily. I think their husbands would be mighty interested in these snapshots, you cuckolding ladies' man, you! ;) Unless, of course, you want to return to us? :huh:

And yes, Sev, I know the ones of Cissy and Bella are photoshopped. But Lucius and Rodolphus, purebloods that they are, won't know a 'shop when they see one. ;)

:rotfl: Making Snape and Lily friends again isn't evil: it's only fair! ;)

Now, making James jealous--that's evil...a necessary evil! :elaugh:


I stand corrected. :D


Wow I love it - I wish more people were evil like you TGW! the world would be such a nice place :lol:

*Bows* :D

I already have PLANS! Hahahaha! *evil laugh*

Plus, I am doing all this for the "good" of the world and everything.

Don't worry kittling! When I am in charge the world will be a better place. (Do I sound self righteous enough; that is a prerequisite of all dark lords lol)

I will send people with messy balck hair (those with messy black hair and green eyes wil be pardoned) to catch sharks. Pauses and smirks. *without magic*

I can imagine it now: The Dark Lord Priyamort! :lol:

:rolleyes: The intensity and longevity of your evil is astounding.

If we're snarky, will Sev come back? :upset: Not...that I really care...:whistle:

If we're snarky, will Sev come back? :upset: Not...that I really care...:whistle:

Sure you don't...:elaugh:

I can imagine it now: The Dark Lord Priyamort! :lol:

Make it The Most Evil and Dark Lord Priyawald and I accept :D. Voldemort was so DUH in Book 7 and I really don't want to get killed by a spell of my own; really! what a way to go. :rolleyes:

GG gave in for love; if I must be defeated at all (I shall resist most violently of course) let me be defeated for love. :lol:

Love for whom?????

FOR SNAPE of course. :love: :love: :love: :love:

I'm sure he'll be overjoyed to see these protestations of love piled up over the time he was gone. :lol:

I only hope he does not see all this love and runs away again. :lol:

If we're snarky, will Sev come back? :upset: Not...that I really care...:whistle:

Yeah, I mean... um... no one really likes Snape that much.

*mumble mumble* we love him... *mumble mumble*

Evil plan? Muahahahaha... James getting jealous. I'd very much love to see that! I'll distract him, run off with Lily, Sev!

Me: James, Lily's looking for you.
James: Really!? Where!?
Me: Um... I don't know.
James: Well didn't you just talk to her?
Me: No.
James: I don't get it.
Me: What?
James: What?
Me: RUN SEV RUN! *runs off*

How did you parents meet? And why were they always arguing?

I won't even bother keeping up with this thread, I'm still annoyed at the lack of informational responses from ol' Snape-a-doodle. Speaking of which, I'd love for Severus to watch Potter Puppet Pals.

And Iggy, the one of him and Lily isn't photoshopped? I don't think he'd be as bitter if he had ever actually gotten his chance with her. Hmm...or perhaps he'd be more bitter. It's hard to say with that guy. We could still lie to him though, he can't really look in our eyes since he's...dead. Not to mention, we're on computers. How do they use computers anyways, if they are beyond the veil and everything? Weird!

Anyway, yea *blink* wait! Don't tell me Severus left!

*runs back two pages*

He did, didn't he?! I'm appalled! Forget bribery and deceit! Let's skip straight away to force! We should kidnap him, tie him in front of a computer and force him to answer deep, personal questions! BUAHAHAHAHA! Wait, would that even work?

We'd need to get some Veritaserum, I think. Otherwise, he'll just keep his mouth closed and answer none of our questions...

Then again, he is an Occlumens, and can therefore resist truth potion. :sigh:

I have a question for the Snark-Master: Now that you are in the Afterlife (I wouldn't even try to guess where you ended up), are you going to ghostwrite a new Potions text? Your teaching methods may be lacking, but you do know the best instructions to use (like an accomplished chef/cook).

Merlin -- I gave Snape a compliment. :scared:

Hey, Snape-a-Doodle. You do realize this is one looooong rendezvous with Lily you're having?

Iggi - Professor Snape is just resting before he starts his busy campaign schedule :)

Professor how do you feel about being the first person to get enough support to become an official candidate?

I'm sorry I'm not voting for you Snape, I really am. My heart and mind have been regreting voting for Sirius ever since I did because I should have voted for you. You are the man for the job. Although my mind and your's are one, my heart belongs to Sirius Black. I love you too though Snape! Please don't be even angrier than you already are at me.

I have to say this though. With Sirius Black as Minister of Magic it will be a very, very fun Wizarding World. With Severus Snape as Minister of Magic...well I'm not sure what a former death eater would do to the world. Oh dear, I'm having mixed thoughts. Here comes the hyperventilation!

:lol: Dude, Minister Sirius would probably get so bored behind a desk, he'd resign within days in order to run around causing trouble again.

Snape, on the other hand, is one of the more duty-bound characters. :eyebrows:

I'm Rita Skeeter, for The Daily Prophet. Nice to see you back, sir... Do you have anything to say about the rumours that imply you have given love potions to this "fangirl" cult so that they'd support your nomination for Minister for Magic? Is there any truth to them?

Pfft.. we don't need love potion when it comes to Snape. :D

Rita, your taste must be flawed. It is obvious how wonderful the Professor is. :love:

I have a question for you, Professor: If you could, would you still teach potions, or would you you rather teach Defence Against the Dark Arts? I sort of know your answer, but, I'd rather hear it from you. :D

I'm Rita Skeeter, for The Daily Prophet. Nice to see you back, sir... Do you have anything to say about the rumours that imply you have given love potions to this "fangirl" cult so that they'd support your nomination for Minister for Magic? Is there any truth to them?
I can answer that question for Snape since he hasn't come back to answer it yet. He has not given any of us love potions!!!!! And here's a little something for you, Rita, since you are being so rude and snotty! Avada Kadvra!!!!! *Rita falls to the ground, dead, and PureBloodGirl is laughing with an evil smile on her face*

That's the ticket, Pureblood Girl. :tu:

Nice and diplomatic. :lol:


(Does Professor Snape have the teensiest tiniest smile on his face, we wonders? ;) )

hmmm...Snape appears to be avoiding all you squeeing fan girls.......

*AVADA KEDIVRA the whole thread so all the fan girls go "beyond the veil" with Snape to bug him there* :p

:grumble: Hey! No AKing us! We can't bug you with our incessant Snape-love otherwise.

:grumble: Hey! No AKing us! We can't bug you with our incessant Snape-love otherwise.

I accidently read your "incessant Snape-love" as "incest Snape-love". http://i240.photobucket.com/albums/ff238/rpgfan1/icon_gonk.gif

:scared:

I'm Rita Skeeter, for The Daily Prophet. Nice to see you back, sir... Do you have anything to say about the rumours that imply you have given love potions to this "fangirl" cult so that they'd support your nomination for Minister for Magic? Is there any truth to them?

There is no truth to these allegations, whatsoever, Ms. Skeeter. If you care to investigate, you will discover that many of Professor Snape's supporters are people in successful, long-term relationships who show no sign of dropping their husbands, wives, or significant others. We just know a worthy candidate for Minister when we see one.

Do feel free to stop by the campaign thread for further information. We are eager to cooperate with the press to get the truth about our candidate out to the voting public. :D

I'm Rita Skeeter, for The Daily Prophet. Nice to see you back, sir... Do you have anything to say about the rumours that imply you have given love potions to this "fangirl" cult so that they'd support your nomination for Minister for Magic? Is there any truth to them?

Now Rita, you'll scare him off and we wouldn't want that. It is rather nice to see Snape running for something rather than from it, for a change. :p But she does have a point; what do you say Snape, how about sending all your voters over to vote for Harry James Potter, the invincible, the brave, the boy who lived, the chosen one, the vanquisher of Voldemort and the one Slughorn said could show you a thing or two in potions?

Who? :hmm:

Or did you mean Harry Potter the annoying and disobedient?

;) :lol:

It is rather nice to see Snape running for something rather than from it, for a change. :p

*can't exactly recall a recent instance of the latter* :hmm:

Or did you mean Harry Potter the annoying and disobedient?

:lol: :elaugh:

*can't exactly recall a recent instance of the latter* :hmm:

I can't either. :shrug:

end of HBP....

Um, but Snape wasn't running from anything (with the exception of an angry hippogriff, and that's just common sense). Physically yes, he was running, but the fact of the matter is that he was more running toward a future he neither chose nor liked than running away from his duty and whatever unpleasantness that involved. :huh:

Um, but Snape wasn't running from anything (with the exception of an angry hippogriff, and that's just common sense


:tu: Yes Iggi that very true - running away from an angry hippogriff is common sense!

*looks at Iggi's avatar*

So is running away from other things :whistle:

:p *runs away and hides*

It's ok. I love the thrill of the chase. :elaugh:

Did you enjoy any muggle past times as a teen or during your tenure as a Hogwarts professor?

No, I didn't. I do not have past times.

Please Professor! Return to us! Have we done something to make you go away?

Do you drink firewhisky? If so can I have some?

And then Dumbledore asks me why I don't like students...

now you're dead have you got shampoo?

Very funny. Friends with the dog, are you?

How did you parents meet? And why were they always arguing?

That is one aspect of my life I'm not willing to discuss here.

I have a question for the Snark-Master: Now that you are in the Afterlife (I wouldn't even try to guess where you ended up), are you going to ghostwrite a new Potions text? Your teaching methods may be lacking, but you do know the best instructions to use (like an accomplished chef/cook).

Merlin -- I gave Snape a compliment. :scared:

I might do that... but if the student is no good, then my instructions won't help.

Iggi - Professor Snape is just resting before he starts his busy campaign schedule :)

Professor how do you feel about being the first person to get enough support to become an official candidate?

I must admit I'm surprised some people finally recognize my qualities and positive aspects.

I'm Rita Skeeter, for The Daily Prophet. Nice to see you back, sir... Do you have anything to say about the rumours that imply you have given love potions to this "fangirl" cult so that they'd support your nomination for Minister for Magic? Is there any truth to them?

I don't have anything to say to you, woman.

I have a question for you, Professor: If you could, would you still teach potions, or would you you rather teach Defence Against the Dark Arts? I sort of know your answer, but, I'd rather hear it from you. :D

I'd rather not set foot on a classroom ever again.

Yay!!! You're back!! :D

That is one aspect of my life I'm not willing to discuss here.


Sev!!! *squees with joy* Finally! Your back! You won't discuss alot of aspects of your life here! :lol: