dumbleedore
July 29th, 2008, 11:37 am
Title: You Won't Know
Rating: PG-13 (adult themes)
Authors Notes: I wrote this a fair while ago- going back several months. It started life as a fan fic, but then I changed my mind and reverted to a normal story. It's short and not very sweet. I hope you enjoy and please leave feedback :)
~*~
I open my eyes in the morning sunlight and lay still for a moment. I roll to my side and see that the bed beside me is empty.
I rise and dress quickly and simply. A skirt and shirt, slip on shoes. I hardly stop as I fly out the door, handbag swinging from my arm, keys jingling in my hand.
The bus stop is half a block away from our flat and I arrive just in time for the bus. It is still early and it’s full of early commuters, all more focused on their BlackBerry’s and coffees to even notice me.
My heart flutters as we race across the city, the bus getting fuller and fuller. I get off in a crowd of people, all of them focused on the day ahead, heading into the tall office buildings. The crowded streets swallow me as I make my way forward.
The motel goes unnoticed by the people walking around me and none of them notice me going inside. I walk straight past the check in desk, straight up the stairs to the fourth floor.
I knock on one of the doors and wait, my heart beating faster and faster. The door opens and I see him.
He pulls me inside, kissing me fiercely. I kiss him back, pulling myself closer and closer to him. His hands are flying over my body, trying to grasp the bottom of my shirt and skirt. I kick my shoes off as I fumble with the buttons on his shirt.
We fall backwards on to the bed, laughing. For a moment I feel guilty, but then he begins kissing my neck and the feeling leaves me.
Our clothes are in a pile on the floor and we are lying next to each other, panting, when the guilt returns.
I wonder if I could ever tell you the truth about what I do on these days when you leave early. I wonder if you would even be surprised.
I didn’t start seeing him until I knew you were seeing her. I know you don’t know that I know about her. I followed you one day. You said you had business in Italy, but you had told me not to come. It was too long of a trip, you said, and I would just be bored. None of the others were taking partners, you said.
I booked my flight to leave just after I knew you were. I knew where you were staying and where the office was. I called through the office and asked for you- they said you were not expected for another month.
I went to the place you said you were staying. I sat in the lobby bar, drinking wine, waiting for some sign. It was late when you walked in, with her on your arm.
I remember staring at you both for several minutes, before coming to my senses and fleeing. I returned home and was in shock for several days. You returned and everything was normal. The meeting was boring, business is the same, you said. You had gifts for me.
Two weeks later you went away again and I knew without knowing that you were seeing her. I wondered how I could’ve been so stupid. I wondered how long it had been going on, how long you had been lying to me about her.
Then I realised it didn’t matter. No matter how long you had been lying to me, our lives had remained as they always had. So I tried to forget about it.
And that was when he came to me. It had been so long since I’d seen him- since we had finished college. And I found myself telling him everything. He was still so easy to talk to, even though it had been so long. And he was good. He listened patiently and reassured me.
He told me he was going to be in town for a while with his own work, staying at the motel. Said I could go to him when I needed to. You were going to work earlier and earlier every day and I just woke up one morning and wanted to see him.
I hadn’t planned on sleeping with him that first morning. But as I was talking with him, I realised the one thing that I hadn’t yet realised.
You wouldn’t know. You wouldn’t know if I slept with him every day. You hadn’t touched me in months, blaming tiredness. After finding out about her, I didn’t care.
But now I had him. He knew me better than you ever had. And I knew him better than I ever knew you. He was honest with me from the start about the other woman.
His wife.
Your sister.
Oh what fragile webs we weave. If only we could go back to the start, make everything different. But even if we did that, would things turn out better or the same?
So I ignore that you’re lying to me. And I repress the guilty feeling I get sneaking from our marriage bed to this motel room.
Because after all, you won’t know.
Rating: PG-13 (adult themes)
Authors Notes: I wrote this a fair while ago- going back several months. It started life as a fan fic, but then I changed my mind and reverted to a normal story. It's short and not very sweet. I hope you enjoy and please leave feedback :)
~*~
I open my eyes in the morning sunlight and lay still for a moment. I roll to my side and see that the bed beside me is empty.
I rise and dress quickly and simply. A skirt and shirt, slip on shoes. I hardly stop as I fly out the door, handbag swinging from my arm, keys jingling in my hand.
The bus stop is half a block away from our flat and I arrive just in time for the bus. It is still early and it’s full of early commuters, all more focused on their BlackBerry’s and coffees to even notice me.
My heart flutters as we race across the city, the bus getting fuller and fuller. I get off in a crowd of people, all of them focused on the day ahead, heading into the tall office buildings. The crowded streets swallow me as I make my way forward.
The motel goes unnoticed by the people walking around me and none of them notice me going inside. I walk straight past the check in desk, straight up the stairs to the fourth floor.
I knock on one of the doors and wait, my heart beating faster and faster. The door opens and I see him.
He pulls me inside, kissing me fiercely. I kiss him back, pulling myself closer and closer to him. His hands are flying over my body, trying to grasp the bottom of my shirt and skirt. I kick my shoes off as I fumble with the buttons on his shirt.
We fall backwards on to the bed, laughing. For a moment I feel guilty, but then he begins kissing my neck and the feeling leaves me.
Our clothes are in a pile on the floor and we are lying next to each other, panting, when the guilt returns.
I wonder if I could ever tell you the truth about what I do on these days when you leave early. I wonder if you would even be surprised.
I didn’t start seeing him until I knew you were seeing her. I know you don’t know that I know about her. I followed you one day. You said you had business in Italy, but you had told me not to come. It was too long of a trip, you said, and I would just be bored. None of the others were taking partners, you said.
I booked my flight to leave just after I knew you were. I knew where you were staying and where the office was. I called through the office and asked for you- they said you were not expected for another month.
I went to the place you said you were staying. I sat in the lobby bar, drinking wine, waiting for some sign. It was late when you walked in, with her on your arm.
I remember staring at you both for several minutes, before coming to my senses and fleeing. I returned home and was in shock for several days. You returned and everything was normal. The meeting was boring, business is the same, you said. You had gifts for me.
Two weeks later you went away again and I knew without knowing that you were seeing her. I wondered how I could’ve been so stupid. I wondered how long it had been going on, how long you had been lying to me about her.
Then I realised it didn’t matter. No matter how long you had been lying to me, our lives had remained as they always had. So I tried to forget about it.
And that was when he came to me. It had been so long since I’d seen him- since we had finished college. And I found myself telling him everything. He was still so easy to talk to, even though it had been so long. And he was good. He listened patiently and reassured me.
He told me he was going to be in town for a while with his own work, staying at the motel. Said I could go to him when I needed to. You were going to work earlier and earlier every day and I just woke up one morning and wanted to see him.
I hadn’t planned on sleeping with him that first morning. But as I was talking with him, I realised the one thing that I hadn’t yet realised.
You wouldn’t know. You wouldn’t know if I slept with him every day. You hadn’t touched me in months, blaming tiredness. After finding out about her, I didn’t care.
But now I had him. He knew me better than you ever had. And I knew him better than I ever knew you. He was honest with me from the start about the other woman.
His wife.
Your sister.
Oh what fragile webs we weave. If only we could go back to the start, make everything different. But even if we did that, would things turn out better or the same?
So I ignore that you’re lying to me. And I repress the guilty feeling I get sneaking from our marriage bed to this motel room.
Because after all, you won’t know.