Harry and Cho: Who was the jerk?

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PrefectRon
December 24th, 2006, 6:02 am
They're just a couple of inexperienced kids, I wouldn't say either one of em was a jerk.

SSJ_Jup81
December 24th, 2006, 7:04 pm
I would have to disagree with the punishment of acne forming the word "SNEAK" being too harsh. If Dumbledore's Army had been a real army, what Marietta did would have been akin to treason, a sometimes capital offense.I felt it was too harsh because she can't remove the scar. This is just a kiddy club, not some major army or military situation where it would be expected to get such a punishment. I felt it was wrong of Hermione to come up with that without warning the others first or something to give them the chance to back out if they chose to.

HedwigOwl
December 25th, 2006, 8:35 am
I felt it was too harsh because she can't remove the scar. This is just a kiddy club, not some major army or military situation where it would be expected to get such a punishment. I felt it was wrong of Hermione to come up with that without warning the others first or something to give them the chance to back out if they chose to.
I don't agree that it was just a "kiddy club". The students who signed up were interested in learning to defend themselves and their families, given the fact that Voldemort & the DE's were back, and the Ministry wasn't doing anything to help them....in fact, just the opposite. It was a serious group trying to deal with a serious problem, and they were all taking a risk by doing it because of Umbridge. And by the way, they were all given the chance to back out before they joined, and they were also told that if they joined they could tell no one, especially Umbridge. Marietta could also have left the group if she was no longer comfortable being part of it -- as long as she did not break the trust.

About the curse, it's not, it's purple pustules (acne). And we don't know if it's not removable....just that the everyday curing spells don't work. I think is quite likely that if Marietta apologizes or comes to decide she was wrong to have broken the trust of the group, the curse will disappear.

sweet16
December 25th, 2006, 1:37 pm
i think that the spell that hermione put on the club was good, as it helped. Kind of.
and i think that cho was a little daft about what happened, but harry was also. so i think that they were both jerks!

JimmyPotter
December 25th, 2006, 3:51 pm
I don't agree that it was just a "kiddy club". The students who signed up were interested in learning to defend themselves and their families, given the fact that Voldemort & the DE's were back, and the Ministry wasn't doing anything to help them....in fact, just the opposite. It was a serious group trying to deal with a serious problem, and they were all taking a risk by doing it because of Umbridge. And by the way, they were all given the chance to back out before they joined, and they were also told that if they joined they could tell no one, especially Umbridge. Marietta could also have left the group if she was no longer comfortable being part of it -- as long as she did not break the trust.

About the curse, it's not, it's purple pustules (acne). And we don't know if it's not removable....just that the everyday curing spells don't work. I think is quite likely that if Marietta apologizes or comes to decide she was wrong to have broken the trust of the group, the curse will disappear.

I'm sure Hermione could perform the counterjinx to remove the pustules. Of course, that would require Marietta to do some serious groveling.

blue3ski
December 25th, 2006, 4:09 pm
I felt it was too harsh because she can't remove the scar. This is just a kiddy club, not some major army or military situation where it would be expected to get such a punishment. I felt it was wrong of Hermione to come up with that without warning the others first or something to give them the chance to back out if they chose to.

Personally, I thought it was appropriate. Hermione and Harry made it clear that those who weren't serious about being in it could leave as they wished, no strings attached. They also made it clear that they all needed to be able to trust each other because one slip could result in expulsion of them all. Marietta had another chance to put her foot down and say she didn't want to join, but she took the path of the Wormtail and sold them out.

sweet16
December 25th, 2006, 4:46 pm
marietta should of just said that she didn't want to join the club, but she didn't bother to, decided to go ahead and sell them out! Hermione's spell was placed there for that specific reason!

Nicole
December 25th, 2006, 4:53 pm
The topic is "Harry and Cho" not "Marietta and Hermione", so let's get back on topic, shall we?

sweet16
December 25th, 2006, 5:54 pm
yeah, well i think that cho shouldn't of talked about her ex to harry, it wouldn't be great for him to hear about cedric, especially as harry was the one with him when he died.
but harry didn't give her the compashion that she needed, as she had just lost her boyfriend.
so i think that both of them were the jerks in the relationship, as both could of made a difference.

MrSleepyHead
December 25th, 2006, 6:19 pm
Well, although this is not my area of expertise, I suppose both of them were at fault in some manner. Cho obviously needed comfort, which Harry was reluctant to give her, but Harry's reactions were definitely not unreasonable. Cho knew that it bothered Harry, probably more than it bothered her, yet she continued to bring it up. Harry already had enough on his plate without extra helpings from Cho, yet she continued to pile them on. She should have been a bit more aware of how Harry was feeling about the matter. Although, I do believe that this was one of the strongest reasons why Cho decided to go out with Harry - she wanted to badger him about Cedric. Now, if this was one of the reasons than Harry's reactions were perfectly fine - why would anybody want to be used like that, especially on that sensitive a subject? However, since Harry did like Cho he was also at fault because he could have been a bit more comforting to her. Yet I wonder how those who think it was mainly Harry's fault would feel if they were confronted with the same situation. Therefore, while it takes two for a relationship to work I believe that Cho was mainly at fault for her constant badgering of Harry.

Now, on another note, I think that Marietta's punishment was perfectly justifia - Oops! Sorry, Nicole! ;)

blue3ski
December 25th, 2006, 6:41 pm
Well, although this is not my area of expertise, I suppose both of them were at fault in some manner. Cho obviously needed comfort, which Harry was reluctant to give her, but Harry's reactions were definitely not unreasonable. Cho knew that it bothered Harry, probably more than it bothered her, yet she continued to bring it up. Harry already had enough on his plate without extra helpings from Cho, yet she continued to pile them on. She should have been a bit more aware of how Harry was feeling about the matter. Although, I do believe that this was one of the strongest reasons why Cho decided to go out with Harry - she wanted to badger him about Cedric. Now, if this was one of the reasons than Harry's reactions were perfectly fine - why would anybody want to be used like that, especially on that sensitive a subject? However, since Harry did like Cho he was also at fault because he could have been a bit more comforting to her. Yet I wonder how those who think it was mainly Harry's fault would feel if they were confronted with the same situation. Therefore, while it takes two for a relationship to work I believe that Cho was mainly at fault for her constant badgering of Harry.

I generally agree with this--although I think Harry's lack of sensitivity and tact was also a big issue here

Izzy
December 25th, 2006, 7:33 pm
Cho was more of a jerk, but they both had problems which led to their... complications ( :) ) Cho was really sensitive and emotional (females are dangerous when emotional, i know, i am one) and harry was pretty clueless and un-sensitive. But, Cho shouldn't have keep on with Cedric, if she likes Harry, she likes him. She didn't have to make HP uncomfortable with all the Ced talk.
Cho should have known better
Poor Harry :(

sweet16
December 25th, 2006, 10:33 pm
Cho was more of a jerk, but they both had problems which led to their... complications ( :) ) Cho was really sensitive and emotional (females are dangerous when emotional, i know, i am one) and harry was pretty clueless and un-sensitive. But, Cho shouldn't have keep on with Cedric, if she likes Harry, she likes him. She didn't have to make HP uncomfortable with all the Ced talk.
Cho should have known better
Poor Harry :(

yeah, poor harry:( Cho was his first girlfriend, so he wouldn't know that us girls are complicated creatures! We have funny emotions, and most boys cannot understand us. Cho was unsensitive towards harry and the way he felt about her by always discussing cedric. This would of made harry feel unimportant, as he would not be the only reciever of cho's affection. He would feel like cho was submitting her affections towards her dead boyfriend, instead of the living(and handsome) one that she had(harry).

But even though girls are hard to understand, it is quiet simple to see that when a person close to them passes away, they would want to talk about it and try to get over it. (when my boyfriend died, all i wanted was someone to talk to)

As both me and cho were the same age when our boyfriends died, i know what she is going through, and i must say that it is hard when you have no-one to chat to. You feel isolated, lonely and like you want to be with the boyfriend that you lost, but you know that it can't happen as he has gone.

Harry, on the other hand, would not want to talk about it as he was there when cedric died, and as he saw himslef as a friend to him, it would be hard to speak to a current girlfriend about her ex, who was also a friend to you.

I think that harry was a little bit of a jerk, as he didn't consider cho's feelings very much during a hard time that she was going through!

Izzy
December 25th, 2006, 11:11 pm
I think that harry was a little bit of a jerk, as he didn't consider cho's feelings very much during a hard time that she was going through!

I see your point, HP was a little mean to not consider Cho's feelings, but, can we really blame him? What guy who is inexperienced knows what to say to an emotional girl?

goldenlight
December 25th, 2006, 11:23 pm
Both Cho and Harry weren't jerks. They just fell apart as they got closer.

RSchlaf
December 25th, 2006, 11:42 pm
yeah, poor harry:( Cho was his first girlfriend, so he wouldn't know that us girls are complicated creatures! We have funny emotions, and most boys cannot understand us. Cho was unsensitive towards harry and the way he felt about her by always discussing cedric. This would of made harry feel unimportant, as he would not be the only reciever of cho's affection. He would feel like cho was submitting her affections towards her dead boyfriend, instead of the living(and handsome) one that she had(harry).

But even though girls are hard to understand, it is quiet simple to see that when a person close to them passes away, they would want to talk about it and try to get over it. (when my boyfriend died, all i wanted was someone to talk to)

As both me and cho were the same age when our boyfriends died, i know what she is going through, and i must say that it is hard when you have no-one to chat to. You feel isolated, lonely and like you want to be with the boyfriend that you lost, but you know that it can't happen as he has gone.

Harry, on the other hand, would not want to talk about it as he was there when cedric died, and as he saw himslef as a friend to him, it would be hard to speak to a current girlfriend about her ex, who was also a friend to you.

I think that harry was a little bit of a jerk, as he didn't consider cho's feelings very much during a hard time that she was going through!

Sorry for your loss... but it still isn't quite the same. Harry SAW him die and she is trying to get him to remember the loss as well. Now i don't know about harry but guys try to put that kind of stuff behind them and try to forget about it. So i can understand why harry wanted to change the subject and not talk about it.

elderwand
December 26th, 2006, 5:25 am
it's awkward and they were both jerks.
awkward moments do that to people. they become/act like jerks. (Except for the rare few or course,but generally, this applies.)

SSJ_Jup81
December 26th, 2006, 6:12 am
Sorry for your loss... but it still isn't quite the same. Harry SAW him die and she is trying to get him to remember the loss as well. Now i don't know about harry but guys try to put that kind of stuff behind them and try to forget about it. So i can understand why harry wanted to change the subject and not talk about it.This just shows how different males and females are...well, stereotypically. GIrls tend to like to talk things out where guys don't. Cho needed to talk about it to get over it; Harry wanted to bottle it up. Cho is open, Harry is not. These two were doomed from the start.

RedShutterbug
December 26th, 2006, 6:15 am
This just shows how different males and females are...well, stereotypically. GIrls tend to like to talk things out where guys don't. Cho needed to talk about it to get over it; Harry wanted to bottle it up. Cho is open, Harry is not. These two were doomed from the start.
I agree. It wasn't a really good pairing at first. I mean, they were fighting from almost the beginning of the relationship.

loyal_student
December 26th, 2006, 4:18 pm
harry never went on date with any1 before he met cho
so he was bit dumb in dateing n romance stuff
n i guess cho expected lots of stuff frm him
n when in reply she didnt get any thing
she jst burst out on him
so in end no one was jerk
it was jst situation difference dats all

iNsAnecHo02
December 26th, 2006, 5:56 pm
i don't really think they were jerks at all..yes,harry's been pathetic fighting bout cho crying because of cedric but i think cho should've understood harry.. he's her boyfriend then.. she should've thought bout her present boyfriend to move on from her last...but i n a more complicated state her past boyfriend just died so she won't just overcome that event in just a snap of a finger..then bout cho being jealous of harry and hermione's relationship,as friends, i think she over reacted on that.. but then if harry wasn't giving up time enough for cho it was kinda reasonble for cho to be jealous cause he hardly spend time with her.. but harry has a point.. they're "bestfriends" and hermione's helping him out.. it was a really bad timing for harry to have a relationship that time right? i mean his arch enemy just got back,stronger and armed.. so things are not really turning out well for him..and more to that, he can't control his temper..

hphphp62442
December 26th, 2006, 6:42 pm
I don't think either of them were jerks, really. I think it was really stupid of Cho to try to move on that fast when she clearly wasn't past Cedric's death, and unfair to Harry because we all know that he liked Cho, so he wasn't about to turn her down when she was willing to date him.

But neither of them acted like jerks in my opinion. What would you have done if you were in Harry's shoes? I know that if my boyfriend kept talking about his dead girlfriend I would be like "***? Do you even really like me?"

But, idk. That's my opinion.

SSJ_Jup81
December 26th, 2006, 6:48 pm
But neither of them acted like jerks in my opinion. What would you have done if you were in Harry's shoes? I know that if my boyfriend kept talking about his dead girlfriend I would be like "***? Do you even really like me?"As I've said earlier, since that was quite insensitive, on Cho's part, her always talking about Cedric, I always felt that it was a sub-conscious thing based on when she would mention him (reminders) and the fact she did so, so often. In other words, she probably didn't realize that she was, which I'm sure everyone's been guilty of doing at some point or another; talking about someone a lot without realizing it for whatever the reason. Maybe she was trying to move on to get over Cedric; maybe she felt she was ready for another relationship, it just turned out that she never properly mourned over him and was still grieving.

HedwigOwl
December 26th, 2006, 7:14 pm
As I've said earlier, since that was quite insensitive, on Cho's part, her always talking about Cedric, I always felt that it was a sub-conscious thing based on when she would mention him (reminders) and the fact she did so, so often. In other words, she probably didn't realize that she was, which I'm sure everyone's been guilty of doing at some point or another; talking about someone a lot without realizing it for whatever the reason. Maybe she was trying to move on to get over Cedric; maybe she felt she was ready for another relationship, it just turned out that she never properly mourned over him and was still grieving.
SSJ_Jup81 - very good observations.

Harry liked Cho, but was new at dating, and he was struggling to deal with Cedric's death, and trying to move past the trauma and guilt. Cho liked Harry, she wasn't finished grieving Cedric, which is why her emotions and actions were all over the place. It was a confusing situation for both of them.

Ashley96
December 26th, 2006, 9:06 pm
i think cho picked the wrong person to talk to cedric about, being in a graveyard with cedric killed by vold. and vold ready to take your life is a situation i doubt harry would like to revisit. i think she was being insensitive not to realize it was way more tramatic for harry then for her. get over yourself cho, harry you could do much better!

Dawa Lhamo
December 26th, 2006, 9:41 pm
I don't think either of them was a *jerk* per se... at least not in an unintentionally rude way... However, they were both young and unsure of their emotions and how to express them. They both wanted different things, I think, out of the relationship... and didn't know how to go about it. If anything, they were both insensitive to each other. Cho kept bringing up Cedric, 1. because she needed to talk about it, and 2. because she thought Harry would need to talk about it too... but she didn't realise how painful it was to Harry to be reminded, and how uncomfortable it made him feel at the idea of dating the dead boy's girlfriend when he had witnessed Cedric's death. Likewise, Harry didn't realise how raw Cho was about the whole thing and handled it all rather, well... indelicately. But neither of them seems (at least as of the end of book five) to have any hard feelings over it, so I really don't understand why the reader would. ;)

mugglebeki
December 26th, 2006, 10:22 pm
Actually, I think none of them was a jerk. Both were in a very awkward moment, accentuated by false expectations from both sides, and a lot of immaturity.

See, Harry was very fond of Cho and was looking forward to a closer relationship with her. He was a nervous wreck just before they set off to Hogsmeade, his heart racing uncontrollably. At the same time, he was still recovering from the terrible ordeal at the graveyard the previous summer, trying to put it all behind him, so the least he expected was to be asked to re-live the experience.
Cho, on the other hand, was still suffering the death of her boyfriend, she just wanted to ask Harry how it had happened, trying to find some sort of consolation by Harry's explanation; she probably even expected Harry to tell her that Cedric had put up a big fight against Voldemort.
When things did not turn out as each of them had expected, they didn't have the maturity to handle the awkward situation. Harry made things worse by inviting Cho to the meeting with (none other than) Hermione, and Cho made things worse by bursting out crying. I think neither of them was a jerk.

CelestLBeing
December 26th, 2006, 10:36 pm
Niether. They were two young people that weren't ready to handle a relationship with each other. Harry was to immature and Cho was on the re-bound. Not a good combination at the best of times.

EBJ23
December 27th, 2006, 9:11 pm
Neither of them. Cho wasn't ready to start dating again after Cedric had just died, and Harry wasn't ready to relive what happened at the graveyard. They just wern't ready.

sabreschic
December 27th, 2006, 9:17 pm
Niether. They were two young people that weren't ready to handle a relationship with each other. Harry was to immature and Cho was on the re-bound. Not a good combination at the best of times.
harry had battled Voldemort 3 times at that point. he is not immature
he was just in love with ginny and did't know it

HermyKnowsBest
December 27th, 2006, 9:24 pm
I honestly think that niether of them were being jerks. In my opinion, to be a jerk you have to be acting mean. Neither Cho nor Harry were being mean. They were just being teenagers, oversensitive and a little clueless when it comes to the feelings of others. Their actions were more out of ignorace of what each other were going through.

elfmadewine
December 27th, 2006, 9:55 pm
Neither of them was jerks. I think to be a jerk you have to mean what you say or do that might be rude. Neither Harry nor Cho were trying to be mean, they were just saying the wrong thing and acting the wrong way, so their actions made each other uncomfortable and mad.

mugglebeki
December 27th, 2006, 10:04 pm
harry had battled Voldemort 3 times at that point. he is not immature
he was just in love with ginny and did't know it

Battling Voldemort is not the same as being in love. He really liked Cho, and was expecting something different. Cho also liked Harry, but not in the same way. They were in a very awkward situation, and didn't know how to handle it.
It could also be possible that a fondness for Ginny was already developing in Harry, and he didn't know it, but when he finally recognized it 2 years later, he also acted quite immaturely at first.

griffiegrrl
December 27th, 2006, 10:50 pm
Cho needed severe emotional backup on Cedrics death and reassurance that dating Harry wasn't an insult to Cedric's memory. Harry couldn't give her that backup because he was still trying to deal with it himself, and nothing anybody could say could stop the guilt feelings she was having.

I think it just was not meant to be, and I don't think either of them were jerks.
I mean honestly, I was rooting for Harry/Cho until she started having severe emotional breakdowns... I mean, how close had she and Cedric gotten in a couple of weeks? I could understand if they were going out for months..a year...? Maybe she's just very emotionally in tune/fragile.

MaWeasley
December 28th, 2006, 1:24 am
I agree with those who are saying neither Harry nor Cho was a jerk. They were just too young and emotionally not ready for a relationship. I was kind of surprised that Cho even showed romantic interest in Harry. Her boyfriend had just died under mysterious and rather horrible circumstances and Harry was involved, at least as a witness. I would have thought Harry would be her last choice as a "replacement" for Cedric.

sorting_socks
December 28th, 2006, 3:28 am
Maybe neither is, but Cho did get rather obnoxious in Book 5. Yes, she was grieving, only fifteen at the time, and obviously not over Cedirc's death, but if she was looking for closure in her previous relationship, why did that search for closure come in the form of kissing Harry under the missletoe? It seems like she was looking to Harry for this closure, but it's more complex because she also tried to make him jealous in the tea shop later on... Not only this, but one of the paramount annoying parts with Cho was at the end of the book when Harry had moved on and Cho acts like she still likes Harry. This girl has decision-making issues.

Obviously, it doesn't really come down to who's a jerk, but compatibility. Harry winds up falling for Ginny, a girl who is a WORLD different than Cho. Cho is an emotionally complex character and is one of the best representations of a female fifteen-year-old mind: an example of its complexity and emotional turmoil. Ginny, on the other hand, has grown up with several brothers and tends to mirror a boy's personality more than a girl's on many occasions. She also seems to be a lot more confident and laid back than Cho.

Like people have been saying on this forum, it seemed like Cho and Harry were both trying to deal with Cedric's death in opposite ways. Cho was trying to analyze it further and unearth more about it: in a search for closure. Harry was trying to move on and avoid the subject. This definitely didn't help the situation. I think Harry just liked Cho and wanted to be with her, but Cho was looking for something more, something more that wasn't fair to ask of Harry. I don't know if this makes Cho a jerk, but it certainly doesn't make her a good girlfriend for Harry. Cho tends to annoy the reader at times in the book, but over-all I don't think her intentions were bad, just confused, and her expectations might have been a little unfair. But then Harry's, while simpler, might have also been unrealistic, as this girl has gone through so much, and the simplistic, happy-ending he had in mind was far too much to ask for, too.

fawkes_87
December 28th, 2006, 6:08 am
Ithink Cho had every right to be emotional about Cedric's death...but i dont think she put much thought into the fact that Harry saw him die and it was still pretty raw with him too and maybe he wanted to have more time before he was ready to talk about what had happened...but all she wanted to do was harp on about it...i dont think she was think about Harry's feeling much at that time...talking about things helps...but you have to also take into consideration other people and how they are feeling too...different people cope with things in ways...she wanted to talk about it but he didnt...at the time...

As for the whole Hermione thing on Harry's part it was a little tactless...I mean he liked Cho so why not forget other people and spend some time with her and after all it was Valentine's Day...but she could have let him explain why he had to see her...but instead she flew off the deep end...and walked out on him...wouldnt you want an explanation as to why someone you fancy wants to meet up with someone else when they said they wanted to be with you? I would...

manying
December 28th, 2006, 6:23 am
...Cho's OA, i can't take her scenes in OotP, she's so insensitive...if she miss Cedric that badly, better not be close to Harry, because <gosh!> he has feelings for her <unless she likes being chased>....i hated Harry for it < a bit> because he let Cho go under his nerves....Go Ginny it's your turn...<sorry, i'm a Harry and Ginny fan..hehehe>...

esme_grint
December 28th, 2006, 7:57 am
I feel that nobody is the bad person. I feel that they both were confused.
Harry really liked Cho. He taught that he was going to go on a date with this wonderful girl and they were going to have a great time.
Cho was confused. I feel that she didn't know what she wanted. She wanted to be talk to someone about her feelings. Maybe she wanted for someone to listen to her. Be able to relate with her. I feel that she taught that Harry was the right person.

huckleberry
December 28th, 2006, 8:45 am
cHO is very sensitive. and I dont understand her often times. I cant blame harry though. so i gues, the blame is on Cho.

SSJ_Jup81
December 28th, 2006, 4:50 pm
Ithink Cho had every right to be emotional about Cedric's death...but i dont think she put much thought into the fact that Harry saw him die and it was still pretty raw with him too and maybe he wanted to have more time before he was ready to talk about what had happened...but all she wanted to do was harp on about it...i dont think she was think about Harry's feeling much at that time...talking about things helps...but you have to also take into consideration other people and how they are feeling too...different people cope with things in ways...she wanted to talk about it but he didnt...at the time...But, that's the problem. Harry wouldn't talk about it...not enough to have Cho content. Harry also never expressed his opinion much either. That aside, I still feel that it was all subconscious basedon the way she talked about Cedric and the fact that she seemed to mention him most when something reminded her of him.As for the whole Hermione thing on Harry's part it was a little tactless...I mean he liked Cho so why not forget other people and spend some time with her and after all it was Valentine's Day...but she could have let him explain why he had to see her...but instead she flew off the deep end...and walked out on him...wouldnt you want an explanation as to why someone you fancy wants to meet up with someone else when they said they wanted to be with you? I would...Usually those who are emotionally unstable don't think logically like they would in an everyday situation.

Yoana
December 28th, 2006, 4:59 pm
It's just that they are both too young to know how a relatuionship should work. Harry doesn't even know what he wants from the relationship. It's a very understandable misunderstanding/lack of balance between them at that age and especially given Harry's total lack of experience with girls. Cho wanted comfort and Harry wanted to forget about it - but neither ever learnt what the other actually wanted. They were bitter because neither got it and they didin't get anywhere with the relationship.

Overall, I don't think anyone was a jerk. It was all justified and understandable.

kaetes
December 28th, 2006, 5:06 pm
Well, if I were Harry I wouldn't exactly want my almost gf to bring up her ex. Since she wanted to go out with me she would have to be over her ex. But then Harry could of given her a hug or something.....

lil_snuffles
December 28th, 2006, 5:07 pm
I dont think neither of them were jerks. Cho liked Harry but she also still liked cedric. When Harry said that he wanted to meet up with Hermione Cho got jealous because she thought Harry liked Hermione not her. Harry liked Cho, but as the 5th book went on, I think his feelings for her changed.

rainie_hp
December 28th, 2006, 6:49 pm
Truth be told, harry was pretty insensitive to Cho since he didn't want to talk about Cedric But he had a valid but a bit selfish reason. Cho was being insensitive too as she couldn't care less about what harry had encountered but just discuss Cedric's death as if Harry was just a therapist and Cho was Cedric's lover(which is true). I mean who wants to be reminded of almost the worst day of their life about everyday. And who wants a guy who is so oblivious and insensitive at times when Cho is crying?

potterpoop2012
December 28th, 2006, 6:52 pm
They were both jerks

Bunny
December 28th, 2006, 6:55 pm
The fact is that they were both hurting and each had their own way of dealing with it.
The problem was that their ways of dealing with it were not compatible.
Nobody was a jerk, just two sad teenagers trying to come to terms with death.

hermyweasly
January 14th, 2007, 10:10 pm
Cho cause what she wanted is to talk about Cedric and then she defended Marrita her stupid friend and gave Harry hard time about he is loving Hermione..She didn't think in Harry and how he is feeling now after Voldie and Umbridge

au_n_snitch
January 14th, 2007, 11:26 pm
Well, they were both quite immature really. They were trying to handle very complex feelings they had never encountered amid a complex situation. Cho was dealing with grief for the death of a boyfriend and at the same time she was attracted to Harry. Wheather she was attracted to him on a physical level is quite possible; she seemed to like him even before she started going out with Cedric. She must have liked him on an emotional level, mistakenly thinking that he would be the best source of comfort for her--given that he too should have been grieving for Cedric. Then again, perhaps she only liked the idea of Harry and the whole Chosen Thing.
Harry had never had a girlfriend before Cho. In fact, he had never been attracted to a girl. He was in the worst spot possible: immaturity compounded by inexperience is a perfect recipe for disaster! Which is exactly what happened with Cho and Harry. They were doomed from the get-go.
I don't think either is really to blame. Neither was a jerk in the true sense of the word: each reacted as best as he/she knew how at the moment. Neither sought to use or abuse the other. She sought solace from the one person who was not in a position to give it, the one who actually witnessed Cedric's death. He was discovering an infatuation with the deceased's girlfriend. Geez, did anyone really think this was going to work?
Besides, Harry only liked her good looks. He really did not confide his feelings to her. Just as well--Cho paved the way for a more important character, one with a stronger afinity to our hero.

SSJ_Jup81
January 15th, 2007, 1:15 am
Cho cause what she wanted is to talk about Cedric and then she defended Marrita her stupid friend and gave Harry hard time about he is loving Hermione..She didn't think in Harry and how he is feeling now after Voldie and UmbridgeBy your own logic, Harry was just as bad. He didn't try to understand how Cho was feeling and didn't understand that, for her, talking about things helps her to get over them.

Lisa_Turpin
January 15th, 2007, 1:24 am
Well, they were both quite immature really. They were trying to handle very complex feelings they had never encountered amid a complex situation. Cho was dealing with grief for the death of a boyfriend and at the same time she was attracted to Harry. Wheather she was attracted to him on a physical level is quite possible; she seemed to like him even before she started going out with Cedric. She must have liked him on an emotional level, mistakenly thinking that he would be the best source of comfort for her--given that he too should have been grieving for Cedric. Then again, perhaps she only liked the idea of Harry and the whole Chosen Thing.
Harry had never had a girlfriend before Cho. In fact, he had never been attracted to a girl. He was in the worst spot possible: immaturity compounded by inexperience is a perfect recipe for disaster! Which is exactly what happened with Cho and Harry. They were doomed from the get-go.
I don't think either is really to blame. Neither was a jerk in the true sense of the word: each reacted as best as he/she knew how at the moment. Neither sought to use or abuse the other. She sought solace from the one person who was not in a position to give it, the one who actually witnessed Cedric's death. He was discovering an infatuation with the deceased's girlfriend. Geez, did anyone really think this was going to work?
Besides, Harry only liked her good looks. He really did not confide his feelings to her. Just as well--Cho paved the way for a more important character, one with a stronger afinity to our hero.

Beautifully put. Neither Harry or Cho intentionally hurt the other one, and using the word "jerk" implies someone's fault. The two of them were dealing with their pain in different ways, and they weren't close enough at the point when they started dating that they could understand the other person's mode of grieving.

Cho was an important step in Harry's life because she was able to help Harry recognize his feelings for Ginny when they surfaced and to help him cope more effectively with that relationship.

chimra922
January 15th, 2007, 10:45 pm
I think that cho was just being selfish and stupid when she just broke up with harry just because he just wanted to talk with hermione, but he should have told her to talk to him later that day in the gryfendor common room.

Eluradanna
January 15th, 2007, 10:56 pm
I think Cho was the jerk...that was really stupid to get Harry to ask her to Hogsmeade and take him to Madam Puddifoots where there are all these couples kissing and then want to talk about Cedric. I don't know what she was so upset about anyways...Her and Cedric hadn't really been dating that long...not long enough for them to really love each other...and then she actually asked Harry if he said anything about her before he died...She is really stuck on herself. She also knows that Hermione is Harry's friend...and he did ask her if she wanted to come with him..its not like he was just going to ditch her. I think Cho is just a big Drama Queen who can't stand it if boys aren't just falling down over her and she isn't the center of attention.

hermyweasly
January 17th, 2007, 1:31 pm
By your own logic, Harry was just as bad. He didn't try to understand how Cho was feeling and didn't understand that, for her, talking about things helps her to get over them.

Harry thought in Cho's feeling and understood it but he fed up cause every time Cho begun to remember Cedric and so on..If she wanted to go in a new relationship, she must think in Harry and try to forget Cedric or the best that she should take rest

leenielou
January 17th, 2007, 1:34 pm
I think that cho was just being selfish and stupid when she just broke up with harry just because he just wanted to talk with hermione, but he should have told her to talk to him later that day in the gryfendor common room.

No, cho was just being a girl ;) Girls, especially at that age, get very jealous very easily, and Harry hanging around with Hermione all of the time will have just fed this. Guys don't really know what's wrong unless it's spelled out to them a lot of the time, and like Harry himself said (I think), he's not a mind-reader. He couldn't have known that he should have to make it clear that Hermione was his friend and nothing more, because that's the only way he thinks of her, so he'd never have to think of it differently.

It was just a big mess of communication problems between Harry and cho. cho may come off worse in the books, but that's more down to a teenage girl's emotions being slightly more volatile than a males.

Yoana
January 17th, 2007, 2:51 pm
I think Cho was the jerk...that was really stupid to get Harry to ask her to Hogsmeade and take him to Madam Puddifoots where there are all these couples kissing and then want to talk about Cedric. I don't know what she was so upset about anyways...Her and Cedric hadn't really been dating that long...not long enough for them to really love each other...and then she actually asked Harry if he said anything about her before he died...She is really stuck on herself. She also knows that Hermione is Harry's friend...and he did ask her if she wanted to come with him..its not like he was just going to ditch her. I think Cho is just a big Drama Queen who can't stand it if boys aren't just falling down over her and she isn't the center of attention.

First of all, Cho had no way of knowing Harry would dislike Madam Puddifoot's. Secondly, I don't know how you can say "what she was so upset about" - the man was DEAD! That's enough to upset anyone! And Harry would have understood that and comforted her, I believe, had he not been a witness to Cedric's death.

d4rk_magician
January 17th, 2007, 4:28 pm
I think Cho had reason to be really upset... After all, her boyfriend died in the hands of the DE's. But I think she shouldn't have been involved with Harry if she felt that way. Of course Harry was a little insensitive, but he thought Cho already beaten Cedric's death. I think Cho was the jerk here... Anyway, I think Harry stays a lot cooler with Ginny, he'll be a Weasley after all :p

SSJ_Jup81
January 17th, 2007, 7:15 pm
I think Cho had reason to be really upset... After all, her boyfriend died in the hands of the DE's. But I think she shouldn't have been involved with Harry if she felt that way. Of course Harry was a little insensitive, but he thought Cho already beaten Cedric's death. I think Cho was the jerk here... Anyway, I think Harry stays a lot cooler with Ginny, he'll be a Weasley after all :pNot unless it was sub-conscious, meaning that even she didn't realize it. That's how I truly feel regarding her character in general. A person who's on her toes or whatever, wouldn't have said the things Cho did regarding Cedric. Since it seems that things reminded her of him and she'd randomly go on about him, this to me, shows that she wasn't doing so intentionally. That aside, not only had Harry probably thought htat Cho had "beaten Cedric's death", but Cho probably thought she had too.

I think Cho was the jerk...that was really stupid to get Harry to ask her to Hogsmeade and take him to Madam Puddifoots where there are all these couples kissing and then want to talk about Cedric.As I pointed out before, the way Cho talked about subject, strikes me as sub-conscious. Seems that things reminded her of him, and then she'd just go on about him without realizing it. Madame Pudfoot's is a good example of this. Besides, last I looked, "being human" does not constitute one's being a jerk. Everyone mourns in different ways where deaths are concerned. There is no right or wrong way to mourn.I don't know what she was so upset about anyways...Her and Cedric hadn't really been dating that long...not long enough for them to really love each other...That's your opinion. They were obviously close, and the fact that she took the death so hard demonstrates that. It could've been a friend, and I'm sure she still would've acted in the same way, incredibly upset, distraught, highly emotional, etc. Friend, boyfriend, girlfriend, whatever...if you had a bond with said person, serious or not, you will be upset if that person died and it's even worse when the person is killed. IMO, it's more difficult to get over a murder than it is to get over a death of normal circumstances.and then she actually asked Harry if he said anything about her before he died...She is really stuck on herself.Isn't this the same as when people go on to say, "I never got to say goodbye" when someone dies on them, and wonders if the person had any last words? It may be hard to believe, but this is actually normal.She also knows that Hermione is Harry's friend...and he did ask her if she wanted to come with him..its not like he was just going to ditch her.First of all, you do not tell your girlfriend to meet up with other people during a Valentine's date. Cho had every right to assume the worst, especially with her comment about "meeting other girls". And Harry's way wasn't very effective anyway. If he had said something like, "I don't really want to, but I'm supposed to meet up with Hermione..." then Cho probably wouldn't have gotten jealous or assumed anything beyond that. It's the way Harry invited her that showed to be tactless, as Hermione put it well later on after Harry told her what happened.I think Cho is just a big Drama Queen who can't stand it if boys aren't just falling down over her and she isn't the center of attention.This seems to contradict the way her character has been portrayed. I don't see her as being a "drama queen" because she's never been shown as one, even before Harry hooked up with her. Cho's also never seemed to seek out attention, attention just followed her, and in OotP, the only "friend" she seemed to have was Marietta; no giggling group of girls following behind her. What Cho needed was someone to help her cope; Harry obviously wasn't right for her in this regard because of his lack of communication. Cho needs to talk to get over things, Harry doesn't like to talk. Neither were jerks, just weren't compatible in this sense. If the main thing linking them wasn't a death, I'm sure things would've turned out much differently.

TraverseTown
January 18th, 2007, 4:02 am
Thread is WAY to long... I loved Cho from Book 4, on. Harry was a jerk.

JimmyPotter
January 18th, 2007, 4:28 am
Cedric and Cho's first date was the Yule Ball, and he was killed near the end of June; so they dated for about 6 months. That is certainly long enough to fall in love. Some couples actually get married after dating that long.

Having said that, I don't think Cho was a jerk for asking Harry about what happened when Cedric died. Harry was unable to talk to her about it, and that is to be expected as many soldiers are unable to talk about their combat experiences, except maybe with each other. Harry was inexperienced in mentioning Hermione and how she asked him to meet her later. In general women feel threatened by a boyfriend's female friends. Cho responded by mentioning that Roger Davies had asked her out. If I was Harry I would have asked Cho (even though I already knew the answer) if Roger Davies went to the Yule Ball with Fleur Delacour.

snugglepot
January 18th, 2007, 5:23 am
If Cho had come to Harry, as a friend, after Cedric's death and asked him what had happened in the graveyard then I would heve understood her better, and judged her less harshly.
Instead, she takes advantage of Harry's obvious "crush" on her, to flirt and attract Harry's attention right from on the Hogwarts' Express just over two months after Cedric's death.
She simply wanted "closure" over Cedric and she "used" Harry to try and get that closure.
She then acted like a jerk when Harry was unable to talk with her about his experience, she started crying and talking about Cedric and getting jealous.
She was foolish for getting into a "rebound" relationship, especially with a younger, immature boy, who could not cope with her emotional outbursts.
She chose to be in the relationship, she persued Harry. For that I contend that she was the jerk in their relationship. She had control over the situation, not Harry.

tofo579
January 18th, 2007, 5:30 am
By your own logic, Harry was just as bad. He didn't try to understand how Cho was feeling and didn't understand that, for her, talking about things helps her to get over them.
well it was harry's first relationship...of course he had no idea how to try to understand, let alone talk about things with her... im pretty sure he was too distracted by her ridiculous crying fits.

RainyDays
January 18th, 2007, 8:47 am
I don't think Harry was as annoying or "jerky" as Cho. Sure, there were times where Harry could have been more sensitive but I found Cho extremely annoying. Afterall, it was her friend who squealed on Dumbledore's army and it seemed as though Cho was still defending her. Ugh, I don't know how many times Cho had me rolling my eyes while I was reading.

Yoana
January 18th, 2007, 8:54 am
I know people ten years older than them who don't have a clue what can ruin a relationship and how to treat their partner. And that's people who've been through more relationships than Harry and Cho. We can't really blame either of them, they were just victims of their own inexperience and inability to communicate as a couple.

lilyrose
January 18th, 2007, 1:04 pm
I think that both of them were not JERKS.................that would be a bit harsh.......they were not understanding and had moodswings and tempers when they shouldn't have.I think they were both PATHETIC:)

SSJ_Jup81
January 18th, 2007, 2:52 pm
well it was harry's first relationship...of course he had no idea how to try to understand, let alone talk about things with her... im pretty sure he was too distracted by her ridiculous crying fits.This is irrelevant and her crying spells weren't ridiculous. As I pointed out, people mourn and grieve in different ways. There is no right or wrong way to mourn a death since everyone is different. Some people cry a lot, others joke around to avoid the subject, some people just remain stoic and don't say anything at all and may come across as cold; some people have to talk about it; some don't like to get on the subject period; others may keep themselves incredibly busy so they won't have to think about it. Namie Amuro comes to mind, and I really get that impression that that's the main reason she performs so much and so much more often after her mother was murdered. A reason to keep herself busy, of course, this is just my interpretation and speculation on the subject.

Either way, I'm sure if Cedric had died of a natural cause, or even an accident, she would've taken it better. The boy was killed in a cold-blooded way by a man who has to regard to human life what-so-ever, so no, I don't find her crying spells ridiculous.

The main thing Cho did "wrong" was get in a relationship with Harry in the first place. She was on the rebound and was too fragile to have gotten in one that soon, unless, she felt she was genuinely over Cedric.

I don't think Harry was as annoying or "jerky" as Cho. Sure, there were times where Harry could have been more sensitive but I found Cho extremely annoying. Afterall, it was her friend who squealed on Dumbledore's army and it seemed as though Cho was still defending her. Ugh, I don't know how many times Cho had me rolling my eyes while I was reading.Marietta is pretty much the only one who stuck by her out of those "giggling girls" that were around in GoF, so I guess Cho saw it from her point of view, empathized with her, and realized the pressure she would've been under. I'm not justifying Marietta's actions, I'm just not surprised that Cho forgave her, especially if Cho is an empathetic person. The fact that Cho tried to talk to Harry says something too. It's like she was trying to keep both Marietta and Harry.

Holly_Potter
January 18th, 2007, 4:55 pm
Neither was a jerk. Though it is true to say that they were both a bit insensitive towards each other.

Cho should not have kept bringing up the subject of Cedric's death when it clearly made Harry uneasy (who can blame him, he was forced to watched him die). I realise that she needed to talk to someone about it - of course she did - but she should have realised that Harry was not the ideal person for this, particularly after it so obviously made him uncomfortable the first time she broached the subject. It wasn't fair to him.

Harry, on the other hand, should have been a bit more sensitive towards her feelings. I can understand that he didn't want (and didn't really know how) to deal with her feelings, but he could have offered her a little more comfort than he did. But who can blame him for wanting to put it all behind him and for not wanting to talk about it?

I don't really think its fair to say that Cho was using him for information. She genuinely liked Harry - she'd had a soft spot for him before Cedric came along and, if Cedric hadn't asked Cho to the ball first, she wouldn't really have looked twice at him - it was Harry she was initially interested in. The problem was that they entered into the relationship too quickly; neither of them had got over the death of Cedric and thus neither of them were ready to be in a relationship together. Basically, the whole affair was doomed from the start - it wasn't really any particular persons' fault that it ended. They were both young, inexperienced, grieving and just not ready to be together. It's not surprising that it didn't last.

Goblin
January 19th, 2007, 1:05 am
Neither one of them were jerks. It was the Death Eaters who broke their hearts by killing Cedric. In situations like these, you can't blame either Harry or Cho for their emotional reactions to this event. It was a tense moment for everyone.

xRavenclawx
January 19th, 2007, 2:36 am
I thought they were both at fault. Harry never really comforted her, he did try but he wasn't able to because he really didn't know Cho very well. He could have tried much harder to understand her feelings, but then again Harry was just pretty bad at relationships from the start. I can't really completely decide if Cho was using Harry, but I doubt it since she did seem to like Harry since GoF before Cedric's death. But both of them didn't really know what they were doing and I thought it was pretty obvious from the beginning that they were really pretty much two people who couldn't work together.

a_countrypande
January 19th, 2007, 5:31 pm
I think it was the fault of the situation.Niether of them had gotten over what had happened and they rushed into a relationship with each other.Harry was facing the worst of situations in the fifth year with Umbridge and nobody trusting him and with those dreams an Snape and occlumancy etc etc.And Cho was really disturbed with Cedric's death and the whole trauma.So I would say it was nobody's fault and they got togather at wrong time.

bianx
January 19th, 2007, 8:02 pm
Well, I think Harry was a bit tactless. :P

Cho is a girl.. and she's very emotional, so I would have to take her side on this one, even though I don't like her.

Boys don't really understand us so much. Pity. :P

mistude
January 19th, 2007, 11:32 pm
Cho was being really self-cenetered...I mean they were on a date! Also: it had been a few months...she had so many other people she could have talked to, why'd she freak out on him?

FaceofBoe
January 19th, 2007, 11:44 pm
I don't think either of them were "jerks". The relationship was a non-starter. On Cho's side there was too much emotional baggage, while the last thing Harry needs is a girlfriend who bursts into tears every few minutes and clings onto an ex-boyfriend. It was just a bad combination, and hopefully they've both learned from it (Harry has; it's hard to tell with Cho).

muggle82193
January 22nd, 2007, 5:06 am
I think that Harry was really insensitive at some times, and that Cho had a good reason to be mad at him most of the time, but she was way too sensitive some of the time, just randomly bursting into tears. But as a girl, I can see why she was crying sometimes; her boyfriend just died, and her new boyfriend was with him when he died…it would be kind of hard for her.

Trigunmax
January 22nd, 2007, 5:20 am
Neither were jerks
She was too emotional over Cedric and her feelings
Harry...well he just couldnt react well with her crying, he didnt know what to do

MachineGus
January 22nd, 2007, 5:23 am
I agree that they weren't jerks. They just didn't know what they were doing...ish.
Cho was using Harry to get over Cedric.
Harry has no idea what to do with emotional girls!
:lol:
Happy ending!

hoppitydee
January 22nd, 2007, 12:35 pm
I wouldn't say either of them were jerks....just a bit clueless :D
I guess that the time wasn't right for them....they were both on emotional rollercoasters at the time, neither of them were ready for the pressure of a new relationship. I think they're both better off as friends....or rather, avoiding eachothers gazes awkwardly.....:p

DeathlyHallower
January 22nd, 2007, 3:34 pm
I still think Cho was the jerk in this instance, because even though her boyfriend had just died, Harry was going through a very similar reaction to it. I mean if you think about it, Harry had just witnessed him die the year before, and he didn't act weird around Cho because of it, whereas she wanted to cry and talk about Cedric's death the entire time. I really can't blame him for not understanding her nutso behavior...

SSJ_Jup81
January 22nd, 2007, 4:12 pm
I still think Cho was the jerk in this instance, because even though her boyfriend had just died, Harry was going through a very similar reaction to it. I mean if you think about it, Harry had just witnessed him die the year before, and he didn't act weird around Cho because of it, whereas she wanted to cry and talk about Cedric's death the entire time. I really can't blame him for not understanding her nutso behavior...*Tsks* I still don't get how people can say this. Cho needed closure on Cedric's death. Harry was the one she seeked out for that closure, either consciously or sub-consciously (personally, I find the majority of what she did sub-conscious because of how it was done, like her ramblings about Cedric; seems if something reminded her of him, she'd start up about him). Everybody mourns/grieves in different ways where deaths are concerned. There's no such thing as a wrong or right way to grieve.

Cho, OBVIOUSLY, has to talk about things to get over them, even if she felt she was over it. Harry is the complete opposite, there's no way Cho would've known that and vice-versa for Harry. This shows that neither were jerks, and for one to have been a "jerk", would mean that everything said/done was done so purposely with the intention of hurting the other. Neither "purposely" hurt the other.

blue3ski
January 22nd, 2007, 5:07 pm
I still think Cho was the jerk in this instance, because even though her boyfriend had just died, Harry was going through a very similar reaction to it. I mean if you think about it, Harry had just witnessed him die the year before, and he didn't act weird around Cho because of it, whereas she wanted to cry and talk about Cedric's death the entire time. I really can't blame him for not understanding her nutso behavior...

I don't think Cho was at all nuts. She was still in grief over Cedric dying, and she desperately needed to cling onto any vestiges of him left. She had probably hoped Harry would talk about Cedric's final moments--she wanted to know how he felt, what was he doing, the last thing he said, etc. It is a very natural reaction, and a sign that she really must have felt very deeply for Cedric.

She also needed someone who knew what the loss felt like. It was not something she could talk about so easily with her other girlfriends--it would be hard for them to feel the weight of what she was going through. She needed someone who would understand that, and that was why she chose Harry.

Cho had the wrong motive and timing in allowing the relationship to happen, but she was only a teenager who was going through a hard time.

Uriel
January 22nd, 2007, 5:17 pm
I do feel bad for Cho, but I don't think she should have led Harry on like that. He was under the impression, with a little help from both Hermoine and Ron, that Cho liked him in that way. Harry will never forget what happened and some survivors guilt will stay with him, but I don't think he could make her feel any better about Cedric's death. Cedric wasn't thinking of her when he died he had no time the poor kid and when it comes to witnessing violence like that I don't blame Harry for not wanting to go over and over it. Seeing was bad enough and then to have all your peers flock around you wanting to know the details, as if there were anything to find fun about it, like a bunch of vultures well I feel bad for Harry.

ep300
January 22nd, 2007, 5:23 pm
i liked them together, but i don't know if cho ever really liked harry. i could be wrong, but i think she may have just gravitated towards him because he was the last one with cedric and she was struggling with her own grief and thought he might be feeling the same way, and she misinterpreted the feelings they shared over cedric's death as a crush on harry.

i don't think cedric was her one true love or anything, but its still a very tramatic thing to have happened and to have to go through at only 16...

not to get all psychological on you :blush: , but thats what i think anyways. its for the best that it didn't work out. i don't think it would have lasted very long anyways.

shortie97890
April 3rd, 2007, 9:10 am
I think that Cho was being the jerk because if she knew she wasn't over Cedric dieing then she shouldn't have gone out with Harry and it not nice to bring up an ex boyfriend to a new one.

leenielou
April 3rd, 2007, 9:30 am
I think that Cho was being the jerk because if she knew she wasn't over Cedric dieing then she shouldn't have gone out with Harry and it not nice to bring up an ex boyfriend to a new one.

But she may not have "known" that she was not over Cedric. It's very common for someone to not realise that they still have a lot of feelings about someone, and that they are not fully ready to move on.

bmichael71105
April 3rd, 2007, 9:59 am
Cho knew she wasn't over Cedric. She cried about it all the time. It was definitely her that was being the jerk (in my opinion, of course) because Harry was the one who saw Cedric die, he wouldn't want to talk about him and Cho should have considered that. Losing someone your close to is hard, but it's not impossible to cope with. It seems as though she had only gotten worse as time went on. But if you ask me, I think she kept her feelings to herself for the most part. I don't think she allowed herself to try to accept what has happened and allow her life to continue. It may not be her fault she was the "jerk" but that doesn't change the fact that she was.

taupimu
April 3rd, 2007, 11:57 am
I think that Cho was just trying to move on and wasn't doing a very good job of it. Harry on the other hand had no idea what he was doing or feeling. His was just a learning experience.

mysterious
April 3rd, 2007, 12:02 pm
I think that Cho was just trying to move on and wasn't doing a very good job of it.

She was finding it hard to overcome her feelings for Cedric, she didn't knew that she still had feelings for him and that she was ready to move on. Actually I think she was trying to concentrate on Harry to forget Cedric, and since Harry was himself a bit confused with things it didn't help their situation. Had Harry been more understanding and comforting, I am sure that they would have got together. But then Jo wanted Harry to go out with Ginny, so it was necessary that he didn't co-operate. :lol:

PotionA
April 3rd, 2007, 2:36 pm
I think that Cho was being the jerk because if she knew she wasn't over Cedric dieing then she shouldn't have gone out with Harry and it not nice to bring up an ex boyfriend to a new one.

It's not about Cho digging up old dirt about her previous boyfriend in front of the new one, it's got more to do with when she did it. I know a lot of people feel that Cho was psychologically unstable after Diggory's death and was doing a poor job at dealing with it, but the fact remains that she had initiated the relationship with Harry and the fact that she had needed to talk about Diggory on her first date with Harry right after Harry tells her that he has to meet Hermione just doesn't make sense to me. I understand that she wept everywhere for Diggory and she probably did need to talk about it with others, but I don't mean to be sound cruel or heartless when I say this, but Cho brought Diggory up on the Valentine's date to find out how much Harry likes her and not because she needed emotional support, and that is what makes her the jerk and not Harry IMO.

mysterious
April 3rd, 2007, 4:54 pm
It's not about Cho digging up old dirt about her previous boyfriend in front of the new one, it's got more to do with when she did it. I know a lot of people feel that Cho was psychologically unstable after Diggory's death and was doing a poor job at dealing with it, but the fact remains that she had initiated the relationship with Harry and the fact that she had needed to talk about Diggory on her first date with Harry right after Harry tells her that he has to meet Hermione just doesn't make sense to me. I understand that she wept everywhere for Diggory and she probably did need to talk about it with others, but I don't mean to be sound cruel or heartless when I say this, but Cho brought Diggory up on the Valentine's date to find out how much Harry likes her and not because she needed emotional support, and that is what makes her the jerk and not Harry IMO.

Cho was unsure of things, Cedrics death had touched her very much and she needed to talk (like you say) and she didn't have someone who could tell her things that comforted her because they didn't have the material required. Harry had it, but Cho chose the wrong time and this shows that she wasn't sure of things, she had lost herself a bit and therefore this ruined things between them.

yokata
April 4th, 2007, 3:21 am
I believe that neither of them were jerks; they were just attracted to each other without appreciating all of the problems that would render a relationship between them impossible. Although Cho, yes, was incredibly annoying in this book, we must keep an open mind - it is clear that she is deeply grieving emotionally still over the loss of Cedric and I'm certain anyone in the same circumstances as her would act in the same way. She just didn't know what to do. Her insecurity is understandable.

McGonagall32
April 6th, 2007, 5:28 pm
They were both at fault, although Harry a bit more. Cho was still grieving over Cedric, and Harry could have been more sensitive. Also, he did not handle telling her about his meeting with Hermione the right way. HOwever, bringing up Cedric probably wasn't the best thing to do on a date.

NarcissaWeasley
April 6th, 2007, 6:05 pm
I think that while neither of them was the model boyfriend/girlfriend in this case harry was more at fault for getting exasperated at cho's breakdowns instead of helping her through it.On the other hand,cho should also have appreciated that harry was grieving too but in a different way than her.

_Ravenclaw_1207
April 6th, 2007, 6:26 pm
I don't think either of them was being a jerk. They just didn't know what the other one was feeling and it didn't work out. They didn't know the right things to say to each other because they didn't really understand the other's situation. I don't think it was anyone's fault, it was just a lack of general understanding.

xhanax315
April 6th, 2007, 7:36 pm
It was CHO! She should've respected what Harry had been through, he had to endure his death and he couldn't help him. I understand that Cho missed Cedric and that she was grieving his death, but she should've have gone to Harry to pour her eyes out over him.

Terrance
April 6th, 2007, 8:29 pm
Neither of them are really jerks to me because i can undertand Cho's situation with Cedric and she liking Harry. This was Harry's first attempt at a relationship and i can understand that he didn't know what to do.

lily_of_erised
April 6th, 2007, 8:35 pm
They were young and didn't know how to handle things. They were both at fault, but neither of them were "jerks" really.

sticky
April 6th, 2007, 10:40 pm
i can undertand Cho's situation with Cedric and she liking Harry. and it was harrys frst relationship so he probably had a lot to learn......however cho couldnt stand up tot he fact that her friend had blabbed.......so harry ahd the right to be angry...but neither of them were jerks i suppose....

Montse
April 7th, 2007, 12:05 am
I dont think either one ws a jerk,Cho was confused and being silly as many times girls can be,and harry,hes a boy,they dont really understand girls much...
Either way,the relationship was good for harry,it helped him through a very tough year even ifit didn't work out,and turned out to be another problem insuch a troublesome year,but while it happened it gave him something to daydream about.plus
he gained experience in the girl field.
Cho,to he it was like an escape route,and she didn't manage the relation ship very well,but some girls are so insecure in that way so,non was being a jerk,it just wasnt meant to be
ginny is the type of girl harry needs,co just wasn't.

sparkly
April 7th, 2007, 1:59 am
Being a jerk implies a conscious decision to behave in a certain manner. Neither were jerks - they both handled the situation badly. Cho knew that Harry fancied her, and in her attempt to feel better over Cedric's death, she thought that Harry help her get past it. Harry has fancied Cho since his third year, so when she seemed to reciprocate his feelings he built up her behavior into more than what it really was.

Neither were seeing the situation clearly. Cho's emotions over Cedric's death and Harry's attraction to Cho caused both of them to be in the relationship for the wrong reasons.

I think Cho was insensitive for bringing up Cedric on her first date with Harry, and Harry was insensitive for mentioning his meeting with Hermione.

thegreatlake
April 7th, 2007, 2:18 am
I think that Cho was being a jerk, although probably not intentionally. She was always crying, and she never really understood that Harry didn't want to talk about. She didn't try to understand how he felt. Harry did the same thing also, but I think we can forgive him for that. HE was the one who actually witnessed Cedric's death, and then he had to fight Voldemort all over again, barely escaping with his life, once again! Cho just never fully appreciated how Harry must feel. Harry had gone through so many traumatizing experiences, and no one could fully realize that. Cho just didn't help him, and she really was being a jerk. One thing that really irked me was the whole Marietta thing... Cho actually stood up for her friend, which is admirable loyalty, but did Marietta really deserve that? She ratted them all out, as Harry told her, but she still defended her. That, for one, really made me dislike Cho, although I never really liked her anyway... But I really think that Cho was the one being the jerk there, although USUALLY not intentionally.

AL_Patterson
April 7th, 2007, 4:09 am
I don't think either was being a jerk, or trying to be. Cho only went out with him because she wanted someone to talk to, not because she liked Harry. But Harry didn't know that at first. But you still can't blame Cho, she was in a bad state.

fireboltwiccan
April 7th, 2007, 4:22 am
I don't think Cho liked Harry in that sort of way. She knew Harry liked her right and she knew Harry was a knid of a link to Cedric. So maybe she thoguht that by getting to together with Harry she could relive Cedric. Or some twisted thing like that.

So therefore CHo's the JERK.

LostWizard
April 7th, 2007, 2:38 pm
Neither of them were being a jerk. It's called being young. Young love can be one of the hardest lessons when growing into an adult. One minute you seem like your walking on the clouds with that warm fuzzy feeling in stomach. Next minute POW feels like a mule kicked you in the gut and you don't even understand what happened.

elindor
April 7th, 2007, 2:46 pm
I think it was Cho.She won't even let Harry talk of Hermy and she's a water tap.

vivekgk
April 7th, 2007, 4:07 pm
Was there a jerk?

Harry was in his first ever relationship. He had no idea at all how to act, and was fumbling his way through. He defended his friends and the DA in the fight with Cho, and didn't want to talk about Cedric because it was too painful.

Cho did like Harry, but I think that it was her eagerness to know more about Cedric that drew her to Harry so soon after Cedric's death. She came to meet him on the first day of term, as soon as they'd boarded the Express. I doubt that she consciously realised it, though.

I'd say that Cho and Marietta had been friends for some time, and that Marietta, having never known Harry personally and having heard only bad thing about him from her parents, didn't trust Harry. She could have been warning Cho against him all the time.

Cho was able to sympathise better with her friend, and blame Hermione, because she already thought that there was something between them. I think that it is admirable that she stood by her friend in her time of need, and did not abandon her friend because of something she did because she was scared about her family.

Harry too, stands by his friend. The problem with their relationship was that they didn't know each other very well before, and were thus unaware of the other's problems.

scd
April 8th, 2007, 4:48 am
I don't think Harry was a jerk at all but ignorate (sp) of his actions. I do think Cho did use Harry since she was still morning for Harry and maybe she should of seeked out Harry's comforte as a friend and nothing more.

theblueflamingo
April 8th, 2007, 4:51 am
I thought Harry acted perfectly natural. He just wanted to move on. Cho basically used Harry, because she wanted to be with the person closest to Cedric after he died, and wanted to know all the details. Then she had the nerve to get mad at Harry. I understand that she was upset, and basically loved Cedric, but she could atleast know where Harry was coming from. He had to witness all that ...stuff that occured. She didn't. Neither were really "jerks", but Harry wanted to move away from it, and Cho wanted to get closer to the death. The were on opposite ends of the totem pole.

potterposse
April 8th, 2007, 4:54 am
No one particularly. They were like apples and oranges, they didn't go together. They werent meant to be, they were more different than they expected.

( I should proably say they were more along the lines of brussel sprouts and papaya....okay, now that is different. Thats the comparrison I should say. :rolleyes:)

okkid
April 8th, 2007, 5:40 am
I think that they were both silly.As most relationships between 15 yr olds are.Cho was a little too jealous and clingy.I dont think she was really to be in a relationship so soon after Cedric died.She wasnt at a good place at the time.

xGinnyxRulesx
April 8th, 2007, 5:48 am
I believe that Harry, was just being Harry. He acted perfectly normal (or as normal as someone in his life situation can act), and Cho was being selfish. She was using Harry to get more info about how Cedric died and that sounds pretty jerkish to me.

SSJ_Jup81
April 8th, 2007, 7:13 am
I believe that Harry, was just being Harry. He acted perfectly normal (or as normal as someone in his life situation can act), and Cho was being selfish. She was using Harry to get more info about how Cedric died and that sounds pretty jerkish to me.I highly doubt it and this, imo, is a double standard. It's okay for Harry to be insensitive, but it's not okay for Cho? Cho was acting like a girl grieving over the traumatic loss of an old boyfriend. He was murdered; he didn't die of a natural circumstance (which she probably would've handled a whole lot better). She thought she was over him (consciously), but obviously wasn't (sub consciously). Notice that whenever she seemed to mention Cedric, it was usually after something was said that reminded her of him, like some type of a trigger? Notice how she'd ramble or go on about Cedric, like she didn't realize she was doing it? This is why I strongly feel that mostly everything was sub-consciously done by the girl where talking about Cedric was concerned.

IMO, Cho's behavior was normal too, since everyone grieves in different ways. The bottom line, is that she never properly grieved his death, and needed closure, and felt that she could get that from Harry, which was wrong on her part. "Harry being Harry", shows that his way of grieving is not talking about it at all, where as Cho obviously is the type to have to discuss things, since she's obviously emotional (just think Hermione at the end of OotP, thinking that Harry should talk about Sirius's death, when Harry didn't want to, since his way is to just clam up). This was the main flaw of the relationship; lack of communication on both parts. Neither knew what the other wanted or needed. Unless their actions were completely intentional, which I doubt they were, neither were jerks. Why readers keep overlooking that, I'll never understand.

RiddleIsOurKing
April 8th, 2007, 7:28 am
Well everyone seems to be focusing on the Hogsmeade fight but what about when Cho basically stood by her friend which led to Dumbledore's departure from Hogwarts?

Cho wasn't a jerk, she was being an idiot in my opinion. If she believed Voldemort was back, she should have been FURIOUS that Dumbledore was gone, instead she felt sorry because her friend had hideous pimples all over her face.

Did she think Umbridge was going to protect her from a Voldemort that the Ministry didn't want to believe was back? Obviously not, or why would she have joined the DA in the first place.

Sure, she was upset about Cedric dying, but unless she wanted to join him in the after life, she should have been praying Dumbledore was still at Hogwarts to protect her and the other students!

Cho was pretty pushy at some points also about Cedric and I think it was pretty insensitive to basically say her and Cedric came to this same spot to snog.

She knew Harry had liked her from the previous year and it's quite possible she would have went with him to the Yule Ball had he asked her before Cedric, which tells me she had some inkling of liking Harry before Cedric ever died.

But in the end, the Cedric conversations don't bother me, it's her sticking up for her loser friend who ratted out the D.A.! That makes her poo to me, and that's all I got to say about that. :cool:

sparkly
April 8th, 2007, 3:22 pm
Well everyone seems to be focusing on the Hogsmeade fight but what about when Cho basically stood by her friend which led to Dumbledore's departure from Hogwarts?

Cho wasn't a jerk, she was being an idiot in my opinion. If she believed Voldemort was back, she should have been FURIOUS that Dumbledore was gone, instead she felt sorry because her friend had hideous pimples all over her face.

Did she think Umbridge was going to protect her from a Voldemort that the Ministry didn't want to believe was back? Obviously not, or why would she have joined the DA in the first place.

Sure, she was upset about Cedric dying, but unless she wanted to join him in the after life, she should have been praying Dumbledore was still at Hogwarts to protect her and the other students!

Cho was pretty pushy at some points also about Cedric and I think it was pretty insensitive to basically say her and Cedric came to this same spot to snog.

She knew Harry had liked her from the previous year and it's quite possible she would have went with him to the Yule Ball had he asked her before Cedric, which tells me she had some inkling of liking Harry before Cedric ever died.

But in the end, the Cedric conversations don't bother me, it's her sticking up for her loser friend who ratted out the D.A.! That makes her poo to me, and that's all I got to say about that. :cool:

Cho's behavior over the Marietta incident was not a factor in her relationship with Harry. It was the catalyst for ending their brief romance, but she didn't stick up for her friend because she was angry with Harry.

Neither Cho nor Harry treated the other badly intentionally. They got together for the wrong reasons (Harry because he thought she was pretty; Cho because she was looking for closure with Cedric) and didn't know each other well. They weren't able to work through their differences because they aren't compatible, and then the Marietta incident happened. Romances are very fragile in the beginning and it doesn't take much to cause them to go off the rails. Harry and Cho had different reasons for starting the relationship, and they don't have much in common, so it probably wouldn't have worked out even absent the Marietta incident.

Harry had been attracted to Cho for two years. Imagine how he must have felt - the girl he had a crush on for a long time has finally noticed him. He had idealized Cho based solely on her looks and developed an expectation of her personality without knowing her at all. For example, in GOF, he imagined Cho cheering him on while he wins the Triwizard Cup, but at that point she hadn't shown any interest in him. Harry was filling in the blanks around what he did know of Cho to create a girl that didn't really exist.

I think Cho liked Harry, well enough to be genuinely sorry to have to turn him down for the Yule Ball. However, at the Ball she and Cedric started a romance, and she no longer felt sorry she didn't go with Harry. Cedric's death must have devastated her, and as others have said, she didn't get closure. His death was brutally sudden, and a week or so later the school closed for the summer. Cho had to mourn Cedric away from the things that connected the two of them. When she returns in the fall, she sees Harry again. Harry represents a direct connection to Cedric, plus she liked him. Not as much as she liked Cedric, but she would have gone out with Harry if he had asked her first. Cho transfers her affection to Harry, thinking he'll want to talk about Cedric just as much as she does. Again, she doesn't know him well enough to realize that Harry has internalized his suffering over Cedric's death and doesn't want to talk about it.

On their date, Harry unintentionally blows it by mentioning Hermione. That happens for two reasons. Harry is clueless about girls, so he doesn't realize he shouldn't mention one girl while on a date with another. Harry also doesn't think of Hermione in the romantic sense, so to him mentioning Hermione is no different from mentioning Ron. It never occurs to him that Cho would consider Hermione a rival.

Cho blows it in a similar manner by bringing up Cedric, and crying over him. She's transferred her own emotional state to Harry and thinks he wants to talk about Cedric just as much as she does. She doesn't realize that Harry wouldn't want to talk about her ex-boyfriend while on a date with him. Cho doesn't want to talk about Cedric because he was her boyfriend, but because she thinks she and Harry can share their grief and work through it together. To Cho, the grief she and Harry share could be something that brings them together. But Harry, who never wanted to talk about Cedric, thinks Cho is mentioning Cedric as a comparison to Harry - boyfriend to boyfriend.

With respect to the relationship, neither Harry nor Cho is a jerk. They never intentionally tried to hurt each other.

lorna
April 8th, 2007, 4:31 pm
I highly doubt it and this, imo, is a double standard. It's okay for Harry to be insensitive, but it's not okay for Cho? Cho was acting like a girl grieving over the traumatic loss of an old boyfriend. He was murdered; he didn't die of a natural circumstance (which she probably would've handled a whole lot better). She thought she was over him (consciously), but obviously wasn't (sub consciously). Notice that whenever she seemed to mention Cedric, it was usually after something was said that reminded her of him, like some type of a trigger? Notice how she'd ramble or go on about Cedric, like she didn't realize she was doing it? This is why I strongly feel that mostly everything was sub-consciously done by the girl where talking about Cedric was concerned.

IMO, Cho's behavior was normal too, since everyone grieves in different ways. The bottom line, is that she never properly grieved his death, and needed closure, and felt that she could get that from Harry, which was wrong on her part. "Harry being Harry", shows that his way of grieving is not talking about it at all, where as Cho obviously is the type to have to discuss things, since she's obviously emotional (just think Hermione at the end of OotP, thinking that Harry should talk about Sirius's death, when Harry didn't want to, since his way is to just clam up). This was the main flaw of the relationship; lack of communication on both parts. Neither knew what the other wanted or needed. Unless their actions were completely intentional, which I doubt they were, neither were jerks. Why readers keep overlooking that, I'll never understand.

I agree with this post completely. Grief is a very hard process to go through....especially at an age like 15 when you honestly think bad things only happen to other people. That just how we're all wired and it isn't anyone's fault. I've felt Cho's
had a bad rap and the expectation she ought to just "get over" seeing her boyfriend's
dead body delivered into the middle of the quidditch field a scant couple of months previous unrealistic. If anything Cho and Harry's behavior was pretty normal given the situation..
they were both grieving but didn't have the insight or life experience to understand why they were behaving the way they were.

PotionA
April 8th, 2007, 4:57 pm
Cho was unsure of things, Cedrics death had touched her very much and she needed to talk (like you say) and she didn't have someone who could tell her things that comforted her because they didn't have the material required. Harry had it, but Cho chose the wrong time and this shows that she wasn't sure of things, she had lost herself a bit and therefore this ruined things between them.

I agree with you but my point was that Cho had played the Diggory card to find out how much Harry liked her. It was moments after Harry had mentioned about his meeting with Hermione that Cho went on a jealous streak and tried to make Harry jealous by talking about Roger Davies and right after that, about Diggory, and then whatever she said right after that just did not seem the type of things she would say when she needed to talk about Diggory like telling Harry to go off to meet Hermione and then asking him how many girls he was seeing after her. It seemed as if she chose the worst tact to get Harry to open up.

Half_Blood26
April 10th, 2007, 11:26 pm
I tend not to get mixed up in things when a girl accuses a guy of something, because no matter what you say, she just happens to be right in the end.

Chinaboy1234
April 22nd, 2007, 12:19 pm
It didnt work out.. thats all that matters now..(seriously, Harry was NOT meant to be with Cho, he was supposed to be with Ginny, everyone wins, except Cho...)

mysterious
April 22nd, 2007, 12:36 pm
I agree with you but my point was that Cho had played the Diggory card to find out how much Harry liked her. It was moments after Harry had mentioned about his meeting with Hermione that Cho went on a jealous streak and tried to make Harry jealous by talking about Roger Davies and right after that, about Diggory, and then whatever she said right after that just did not seem the type of things she would say when she needed to talk about Diggory like telling Harry to go off to meet Hermione and then asking him how many girls he was seeing after her. It seemed as if she chose the worst tact to get Harry to open up.

Girls. :rolleyes: :p

Metamorphose
April 22nd, 2007, 1:43 pm
Cho Chang bugs me, but the poor thing just needed to dump all of her sadness on someone. If anyone's out there who has a dead girlfriend or boyfriend, they know that talking to someone about it is the best way to get over them. Harry was being an adolescent boy by not liking it, but Cho should have known that he was going to react that way.

dasfres
April 22nd, 2007, 2:45 pm
Harry got served. It was definetly Cho who told Harry off the first time. She's the j-e-r-k.

SageThyme
April 22nd, 2007, 5:32 pm
Brand new, shiny version:

Harry & Cho: Who was more selfish? (http://www.cosforums.com/showthread.php?t=104354)

Please continue the discussion there. Thank you.