Harry and Cho: Who was the jerk?

Pages : [1] 2 3

potions_geek
May 3rd, 2005, 3:41 am
I know that a lot of people think that Cho was being self-centered when she got angry at Harry for the whole Cedric thing, yet he was the one who gave her no comfort even though HER BOYFRIEND JUST DIED!!!!!!! All of you out there with boy/girlfriends, I'm sure that you would want some comfort from them if your ex died (before you broke up).
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~* ~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
"I know it must be horrible for you," she said, mopping her eyes on her sleeve again. "Me mentioning Cedric, when you saw him die....I suppose you just want to forget about it...."

Harry didn't say anything to this; it was quite true, but he felt heartless to say it.

(OotP 456) american hardcover version
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~* ~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
So he didn't want to "rebreak" her heart, which is fine, but he didn't even attempt to mend it? In my eyes that's something that he should be doing while his almost-girlfriend is crying her eyes out right in front of him, the poor girl.... :upset:

So why do people say that Cho is the jerk when Harry's the one providing Cho with no emotional comfort at all? Is it wrong for Cho to try to find someone to express her feelings to and someone that she can relate to (in the terms of losing those that you love)? She's only looking for answers, and with problems like the ones she had in OotP, I don't blame her for that.

riot_grrl
May 3rd, 2005, 3:46 am
I'm not exacly sure. Yes,Harry was being a jerk mentioning Cedric to Cho,but it was very rude of Cho to burst out at Harry for mentioning him. They were really both the big jerks there.

HedwigOwl
May 3rd, 2005, 3:48 am
I know that a lot of people think that Cho was being self-centered when she got angry at Harry for the whole Cedric thing, yet he was the one who gave her no comfort even though HER BOYFRIEND JUST DIED!!!!!!! All of you out there with boy/girlfriends, I'm sure that you would want some comfort from them if your ex died (before you broke up).
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~* ~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
"I know it must be horrible for you," she said, mopping her eyes on her sleeve again. "Me mentioning Cedric, when you saw him die....I suppose you just want to forget about it...."

Harry didn't say anything to this; it was quite true, but he felt heartless to say it.

(OotP 456) american hardcover version
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~* ~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
So he didn't want to "rebreak" her heart, which is fine, but he didn't even attempt to mend it? In my eyes that's something that he should be doing while his almost-girlfriend is crying her eyes out right in front of him, the poor girl.... :upset:

So why do people say that Cho is the jerk when Harry's the one providing Cho with no emotional comfort at all? Is it wrong for Cho to try to find someone to express her feelings to and someone that she can relate to (in the terms of losing those that you love)? She's only looking for answers, and with problems like the ones she had in OotP, I don't blame her for that.

Well, not counting the fact that they were never really right for each other -- just attracted to each other, which is different -- Cho pulled Harry in by treating him as a boyfriend, but what she was really looking for was information and empathy. Not that there's anything wrong with that, but she probably shouldn't have mixed the boyfriend/friend role. Harry, on the other hand, always had seemed to have a crush on Cho, and he was trying to get past the horrible experience of Cedric's death, not analyze it. I don't think either one was a jerk, just wanting different things and from the wrong people.

LB_Phoenix
May 3rd, 2005, 3:52 am
Well, I never really thought Cho had acted badly, though I didn't agree with her behavior when she and Harry went into the tea shop. However, Harry doesn't feel romantic feelings towards Cho anymore, since he admited to it at the end of OotP. I think that may be the case of why he didn't comfort her. He'd already bungled up his last conversation with Cho and that had been terribly awkward for the both of them and, with that being as it was and, after a lot of things happened to Harry in book five, their relationship fell out, since I think it was hard on Cho to talk about Cedric and Harry didn't want to remember Cedric's death, since he has to deal with nightmares about him sometimes.

What I'm getting at is, after so many things happened to Harry after his awkward conversation with Cho and, after the huge fight and the sudden revealing of the Prophecy, things changed for Harry and he realized that, to his surprise, he didn't feel romantically inclined to Cho anymore, which isn't surprising. A lot can change a man and what Harry found out from Dumbledore was enough to sober anyone. It's just how he felt and now that they're no longer an item (at least, not when it comes to Harry), Cho will have to find a better outlet for her tears than Harry, who was never really inclined to talk about Cedric anyway. I'm not saying he shouldn't have been better at comforting her, but men aren't exactly very good at that, especially if they've never been in a situation like that before.

perspicacious
May 3rd, 2005, 4:05 am
Neither! Cho was a little emotional, yes. But she's 15 and her boyfriend just died. Harry was a little insensitive, yes. But he's a teenage boy who doesn't understand girls!

BballPlaya05
May 3rd, 2005, 4:38 am
potions_geek: but could cho even begin to realize and comprehend what harry had just gone through? no. it was wrong of her to burst out at harry like that, especially when she knows full well that he is going through such a time in his life that very few people can even begin to imagine.

when harry DID finally relent to her constant sniffles, i seem to remember that he told her somewhat of how he died, then cho responded with something like "but did he mention me at all before he died?"
that just shows that she doesnt even realize he got hit with the curse, and died instantly. she seems to act like its harry's fault for him not mentioning her name, or even harry's fault that he died, just because harry witnessed it.

Desraelda
May 3rd, 2005, 4:41 am
This was Harry's first attempt at a romantic attachment. It's not surprising that he didn't know what to do when Cho started crying all over him. Hopefully, he learned something from Hermione's little talks and will do better next time. Harry was just Cho's transitional man and she picked him because he was with Cedric when he died.

Lash Dresden
May 3rd, 2005, 4:48 am
Neither was a jerk. They were both just acting their age. :agree:

smartamy15
May 3rd, 2005, 4:56 am
Neither was a jerk. They were both just acting their age. :agree:

Unfortunately, some teenagers act their age by being jerks. James proves this too- he was a bit of an idiot. But I don't think either Cho or Harry were a real, flat-out jerk. Cho was just wasn't ready for a new boyfriend since she still misses Cedric so much. And Harry was just... tactless, very tactless. Boys may argue that girls are tricky to understand and to please at times, but you have to admit that Harry didn't think before he spoke at Madam Pudifoot's. But that's getting off topic.

SSJ_Jup81
May 3rd, 2005, 4:57 am
I didn't feel either was a "jerk" either. I felt that Cho really did have some kind of feelings towards Harry (GoF, she was sincerely sorry for not being able to go with Harry to the Yule Ball), but got attached to Cedric. She may have had feelings still for Harry even after Cedric, but felt incredibly guilty because of it and also didn't get the chance to grieve and get completely over Cedric's death.

IMO, she was far too emotional to get involved with anyone in general (not just Harry), and also needed emotional support, and looked to Harry to get that support. I personally found Harry a bit insensitive towards Cho in that sense by not really supplying her with that emotional support she felt she could get from him, who she probably assumed felt the same as she did over the subject.

Either way, both, like Rapunzel pointed out, were more than likely just acting their age, and also showed that Harry wouldn't probably fit with a girl who is the emotional type or requires emotional attention. As for Cho, she seems to be more compatible with someone who's actually open, and we all know Harry is anything but open.

TheRealDJ
May 3rd, 2005, 5:06 am
Well harry was a bit of a jerk, but forgivably so. No one in their teens are experts at the art of romance, especially with the first girl they ever go out with.
Cho on the other hand was wanted a codependent relationship founded around how terrible Cedric's death was. She just wasn't in a place where she should've dated anyone.

Vita
May 3rd, 2005, 5:10 am
I think Harry was just being a regular guy that finally got what he wanted and didnt know what to do with it and a WHOLE bunch of other junk came up so he had to reprioritize and suddenly Cho didnt fit quite so much in the picture. I dont think that he ever stopped liking her even after the scuffles (dont they say you never forget your first love?) but he realized that he could never be all that Cho wanted and that she, as wonderful as she was could never be what he needed.

Leilani
May 3rd, 2005, 8:02 am
i think harry acted perfectly reasonable. i mean he watched the boy die. she was completely insensitive to that fact. she was selfish in her grief. but thats understandable. harry was selfish and insensitive in his grief too. i just think that his problems are slightly larger (not more important) than hers.... they were both jerks. but she started it....

Mae
May 3rd, 2005, 8:33 am
i think they both acted like jerks; however, both also had justifiable reasons for it. you can't really blame em, you know? i supposed when you're reading the book for the 1st time, you instinctively defend harry, but remember, the book is in his point of view so what we're reading can be slightly biased. cho and harry are seriously messed up people.

James Macca
May 3rd, 2005, 8:50 am
im not going to bother reading all those..
there really is no case for harry being a jerk..
cho sucks haha thats my two cents..
on that note.. harry is blind in an emotional sense, but then again, cho must be like a manic depressive or something along those lines to have such unreasonable reactions whenever someone mentions cedric..
personally, all guys are shallow emotionally.. and if that means guys are jerks.. then we're all jerks.. woo for us..
and riot girl.. u rock.. MCR rock my socks.. if ur from america.. did u go to taste of chaos.. and if ur not.. r u gonna go when it goes global.. sorry for going off topic but my off topicness can easily be resolved in one post.. thus its not really a biggy..

cerussite
May 3rd, 2005, 9:30 am
Neither.

They both weren't ready after what happened, Harry didn't want to talk about it, Cho did. Cho was on the rebound (kinda), Harry was under to much pressure. Neither had the emotional stability to cope when things in the romance didn't go quite as planned. I think they would have done quite well if Cedric's death was not an issue. Neither were ready.

I don't think it's fair to call either of them jerks, Harry did his best in an area he has little to no experience in, he had his own troubles that, as evidenced by his temper, were overwhelming him. He didn't have the time nor energy to take care of Cho, when he needed some one to take care of him really. The same with Cho, she needed some one to take care of her, but Harry didn't have anything left after trying to take care of himself.

Harry has a more depressive personality to begin with, so if you put him with some one who is depressed all the time, they will probably end up depressing eachother.

At the end of the day they are kids, neither set out with the intent of hurting each other, but some times these things just don't work out. :angel:

(I do feel a bit sorry for Cho, because of how many people hate her just because she was upset that her boyfriend was murdered)

Marina
May 3rd, 2005, 9:32 am
I think that Cho just was going too quick into the romance thing, especially so soon after Cedric's death. Harry, having not known how much grief she must be feeling, may've been uncomfortable, and just not known the right thing to say. I think guys just aren't the overly huggy type (correct me if I'm wrong, guys), like girls are. If Cho had been Harry's girlfriend after Sirius had died, then he might've felt more sympathy for her. Not that I want them back together just because of Sirius' death :no:

Wab
May 3rd, 2005, 10:02 am
Cho deserves a lot more credit than she is given.

First her boyfriend dies in mysterious circumstances with the only witness being a person known to fancy her.

Then when they go on a date Harry is eager to go meet Hermione.

If I were her I'd've decked him.

Adiah
May 3rd, 2005, 10:14 am
This is a piece I cut out of an editorial I started writing awhile back:

This shows how two different people have very different reactions to a common grief—Harry reacts by trying to forget the whole thing and pretending it didn’t happen, while Cho reacts by attempting to confront it and actually talking about it openly. She says during the date in Madam Puddifoot’s that she needs to talk about it; she deals with grief by facing it, and pretending it didn’t happen and trying to ignore it only makes it worse—her problem is, she doesn’t really have anyone to discuss it with (the absence of her usual troupe of giggling girls in the book was rather conspicuous to me; the only person we ever see her spending time with in OotP, other than Harry, is Marietta Edgecombe, which may make her defense of Marietta after Marietta tries to report the DA to Umbridge more understandable—the fact that Marietta continued to go along with Cho to the DA even though she didn’t want to and was disobeying her mother’s orders by doing so is also worth noting).

As you may have figured out, I feel nothing but sympathy for Cho, and it disturbs me that many Harry Potter fans have written her off as unstable and someone to be despised. The fact is, while many people have admitted that Harry’s angst in Phoenix rather annoyed them, they still want to defend him on this issue by vilifying Cho and making as though their break-up was entirely her fault. I’m not trying to say she was completely faultless; I’m also not saying that this was completely Harry’s fault either, but he did have a hand in it. As good a guy as Harry is, or at least tries to be, he is not perfect, and his inability to sympathize with Cho makes that fact painfully obvious. To be perfectly honest, as brutal as it may seem, Harry liked Cho for her looks, not her personality—he’d never even spoken to her before he fell for her, and while such relationships do work occasionally, it is actually a very rare thing and could probably be attributed more to coincidence than anything else.

Cho deserves a lot more credit than she is given.

First her boyfriend dies in mysterious circumstances with the only witness being a person known to fancy her.

Then when they go on a date Harry is eager to go meet Hermione.

If I were her I'd've decked him.I agree with this completely.

hermy_weasley2
May 3rd, 2005, 11:13 am
I'm not going to take sides because I think it's safe to say that it just didn't work out. :shrug:

wol
May 3rd, 2005, 2:03 pm
Well, here's my tuppence worth: I feel quite sorry for Cho here; she's just behaving like a typical teenage girl, and she has suffered from losing Cedric. It's a bit rich to accuse her of self-indulgence, being a drama queen etc. when Harry can top anyone at times in the drama queen stakes! (Not that I don't like Harry's mood swings and temper in OotP - I find them highly entertaining).

But more than this, there isn't just the two of them in this relationship. Cedric's ghost hovers between them, overshadowing everything, and Voldemort is of course the one behind Cedric's death, Harry's troubles and any number of other goings-on...so that makes four in the relationship by my reckoning. You could say, in the words of a late princess, that it's 'a bit crowded'. You could even argue that Voldemort will always get in the way of Harry's romantic attachments...but that's another subject for another day. I have some rather interesting theories about that but I don't think a G-rated message board is the place for them.

Zorro
May 3rd, 2005, 2:11 pm
I think that perhaps "jerk" is too harsh a word for this debate. A jerk would imply that, although someone knew better, they still acted insensitively, without regard for another person's feelings. Neither Harry nor Cho were guilty of this. Both of them needed something the other could not give.

Cho is the type of person, who heals better by talking and associating with people. Harry, on the other hand, handles his pain privately (or by tossing Dumbles stuff around - hehe). For either one to try and accomodate the other, it would have meant that they would be doing more harm to their own healing process.
At least that is how I see it.

Magi
May 3rd, 2005, 2:12 pm
I think both were jerks.

Harry was having tanties to begin with, and his feelings for Cho, compounded with not being able to understand her vague and strange hints, didn't help. Harry tried his best, but Cho was just too much above his head.

Cho, on the other hand, acted very selfishly. She knew Harry liked her, but instead of trying to understand Harry's reaction to her approach, she wanted to use him as a hanky. Not good at all.

Zorro
May 3rd, 2005, 2:27 pm
Cho, on the other hand, acted very selfishly. She knew Harry liked her, but instead of trying to understand Harry's reaction to her approach, she wanted to use him as a hanky. Not good at all.

Ha, ha. I love that line... "Use him as a hanky". :rotfl:

Yes, she was being selfish, but I personally think that one is allowed to be selfish (within reason) when grieving. I can understand why she would want to talk to Harry. She would probably want to know if he (Cedric) had suffered much, how it had happened, if he could possibly have done something to survive... all the questions a survivor would usually be asked.
On the other hand, I can also appreaciate that Harry would rather not think about ANYTHING to do with that night. To live through it once was bad enough, more than once would be unbearable, especially if he was telling someone who was needing comfort as oppsed to comforting him.
Just a thought though

Luna_Anne
May 3rd, 2005, 3:37 pm
Actually both were jerks. Cho kept crying a great deal and never seemed to fully get over Cedric, but Harry didn't do anything to really comfort her. Like Hermione said, he was tactless and was almost as bad as Ron. So both contributed to their relationship not working out.

HarryPotter
May 3rd, 2005, 4:23 pm
I think it was a bit because of both of them, there is no guilty and no innocent in this story, they were not meant to each other, and that's all, they are too different, and sometimes feelings and attraction towards the other sex at their age could be confusing, specially if they really needed someone close.

Harry was too cold and self centered, Cho was a bit annoying and a drama queen... I think it was meant to not to work, they were just not compatible.

Patronus87
May 3rd, 2005, 4:42 pm
I think they both were acting their age. It might even be true that Cho liked harry, but she was really into Harry for info on Cedric, not for Harry as Harry. So that is not a good basis for the relationship. I also can understand Harry's attitude. The girl you have liked forever, ends up with your rival in a large contest...the guy dies in your arms after befriending him, then the girl comes BACK to you...but only wants to talk about Cedric.

Kina hurts two ways.

hotharry
May 3rd, 2005, 5:16 pm
Well I'm a total Cho hater. The girl is mean selfish and well....just plain cruel. She has known since at least GoF that Harry has a crush on her. So in OoTP She wanted to fill the void of a boyfriend and knew that she could get one easily by luring Harry in and then using him as a replacement for Cedric. This is cruel to Harry becuase he thinks that she actually likes him. I don't think that she does. She likes Harry because he was there at Cedrics' death. And she probably knows that Harry doesn't like to talk about that and then she asks him all the time about it. If she really cared about Harry she wouldn't ask about Cedric or even talk about him. Cho was using Harry to replace Cedric (also was there at her boyfriends death.) and when Harry didn't measure up she dumped him. She wanted to fill the boyfriend void, wanted to know more about Cedrics death, and hoped that Harry was like Cedric. Well I don't know about you, but that is not my idea of a good reason to get together with someone.

Cho should have never got angry over Hermione. She knows that they have been friends for years, so why make a big deal when he hang out with her. Once again another way that Harry is not acting like Cedric. Cedric only hung out with Cho.

As for Harry, well I don't think that he made that many mistakes, except for letting the stupid girl kiss him. He should have been smart enough to realize that she was using him, but Hey his only fifteen, I'll give him a break. You can't help it when the girl you have liked for two years offers you a relationship. I feel sorry for Harry becuase of Cho. He's never had a girlfriend before and she acts as though he should know what the duties are of a boyfriend. He's never had expirence before. He's not Cedric! He's a boy, boys make mistakes.

I guess what I'm saying is the whole relationship is very childish and extremely immature. Cho was worse than Harry by far. She made the most mistakes and then blamed Harry. Harry was dumb to get involved with a girl who is on the rebound (For all of u who don't know that terminology, shes looking for anybody and would take anybody but is still in love with Cedric. She hasen't gotten over him yet. Does that make sense. Like basketball, she didn't make it in the hoop with Cedric, but is right there waiting for him and yet is willing to have someone else make it with her. Nevermind I'll stop while I'm ahead.).

Well This is all until I think of more later.

WeaselyKeeper
May 3rd, 2005, 5:53 pm
I thin knone of them were jerks but Cho's gotta get over it. Harry doesn't wantto talk about it and he has other problems

diddledee
May 3rd, 2005, 6:48 pm
I honestly felt that Cho was being a little selfish when she wanted to talk about Cedric to Harry. Yes, Cedric was her boyfriend, and she must miss him dreadfully, but she did not see him die did she? she did not almost die herself did she? She did not have to face Cedrics parents did she? Harry experienced for the first time in his memory watching someone die. Harry even feels partly responsible for Cedric's death so it stands to reason that with Cho being all emotional about it he feels responsible for her grief too.

It was just a case of wrong time, wrong girl, wrong place. Harry could not comfort Cho because he was emotionaly unable to do so. Harry wasn't able to talk to Her about it and she should have respected that.

Harry was a bit insensitive but only because he was inexperienced with girls. He has no idea how to relate to Cho. In my opinion, it was Cho who was more insensitive to Harry for bring Cedric up.

Why did she want to talk about Cedric with Harry anyway? In my opinion you do not talk about your last boyfriend (whom you obviously still cared for) with your current boyfriend. It just seemed to me that Cho was only pumping Harry for information without thought for his feelings. Once Harry understood his mistake he tried to fix it but Cho was already streaming tears and feeling sorry for herself because "boo hoo" her boyfriend wouldn't tell her anything about watching someone DIE!!

So lets see, Cho was talking to her boyfriend about her last boyfriend who died incidently in front of her current boyfriend. yeah both were insensitve but Cho was a bit selfish in my opinion.

DarkSphynx
May 3rd, 2005, 7:09 pm
I think that Harry wasn't really as tactical as he could have been in his relationship with Cho. You can't really blame him though, he didn't have any real experience with girls and it came as a shock for him to have to deal with Cho being upset all the time. Harry had real conflicts with Cedric, both when he was alive and after he died. Cho sort of brought back those memories and annoyed him by bringing it up all the time - he felt jealous as well as upset. I don't think Cho was really very good about it either - yes, she wanted to talk about Cedric, but it'd have been wiser just to discuss it with her friends and not bring it up with Harry when he was the one who saw Cedric being murdered. I doubt she was that aware of how jealous Harry was of Cedric but I would have thought she'd have the consideration not to force the subject on him at every opportunity.

So I don't think anyone was actually 'the' jerk. They both caused the end of their relationship, really.

Shadowboxer
May 3rd, 2005, 9:19 pm
They were both irritating about the whole thing. Harry didn't know that Cho wanted comfort and I suppose even if he did he wouldn't because he wouldn't be comfortable himself. Cho was all torn up about Cedric so naturally she gets caught up with the one guy who knows more of Cedrics last moments than anyone else. I don't doubt that she liked Harry, but everything that came from her mouth was about Cedric. Harry was so busy ignoring that part of his fourth year that he didn't even like to discuss it with his closest friends. In my opinion, they were both titchy and it is very good that they broke up. Cho needs to get over Cedric and Harry needs to grow up a bit before either of them can even think about a lasting relationship with anyone.

I thought it was very cruel of Cho it blame the deterieration of their relationship on Hermione. But then she was hurt that Harry was ignoring her pain and that's probably why she brought THAT bucket of worms up. It amounts to the same thing.
Harry=stupid
Cho=stupid
Harry+Cho=Disastor
Harry-Cho=Better Off

moaningnell
May 3rd, 2005, 9:38 pm
I think it was the wrong time for either of them, but I did find that Harry could have talked to her more about how Cedric died, it may of helped him to come to terms with it as well but Harry's been through alot of grief for someone so young and now he has to contend with losing Sirius as well, I think Luna suits Harry better than cho, theres alot more about Luna than we know, I don't dislike Cho, its just the time wasn't right for either of them and dealing with her grief as well as his own, I think Harry was unsure what to do or say., thats all.

annie87301
May 3rd, 2005, 10:42 pm
I think both were jerks.

Harry was having tanties to begin with, and his feelings for Cho, compounded with not being able to understand her vague and strange hints, didn't help. Harry tried his best, but Cho was just too much above his head.

Cho, on the other hand, acted very selfishly. She knew Harry liked her, but instead of trying to understand Harry's reaction to her approach, she wanted to use him as a hanky. Not good at all.

I love your accent!! 'tanties' is too cute.

They were never going to work out as JKR said but it was painful for both.

I think Cho liked Harry before she liked Ced. Harry was too clueless to do anything about it. The poor guy, tallk about a disfunctional family! What positive role models does he have to base his first love interest on? Uncle Vernon and Aunt Petunia? [shudder].

I think she waited just so long for Harry but when another opportunity came along, from a good looking, nice, decent guy, should she say no? I don't think she stopped liking Harry but she wasn't going to wait forever. After Ced's death I think she felt bad for two reasons 1) she liked Harry still and felt it was a betrayal to Ced; 2) she missed Ced. Sometimes girls cry in hopes the guy will feel all protective of them and it may bring them closer. HA! most guys hate crying and don't know what to do (hence the patting on the head :rotfl: )

The relationship is now doomed, I don't think any thing can fix the baggage they both would bring to it. Fault? Jerk? not really, just mixed up teenagers.

Sprout1962
May 3rd, 2005, 10:47 pm
I don't think either acted like a jerk per se - Harry acted like a teenage boy uncertain about what to do with a girl to whom he is attracted. Cho acted like a teenage girl around a boy she has a crush on.
Teenage boys and girls (young men and women) are just different, and their actions highlight these differences.
How many have read the book, Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus"? They are, and we are! I see it every day at work (high school).

JenTheWriter
May 3rd, 2005, 10:49 pm
In my opinion...

I'm not sure "jerks" is the term I'd use for them, though I think Cho very clearly saw Harry as this way. I think the situation was all wrong for them. I'm a Harry/Ginny fan, but I still think it was no time for a particular relationship for either them. Cho lost her boyfriend, Harry, albeit attracted to her, had Voldemort hanging over his head.

I think Cho wanted to hang around Harry because he was her last tie to Cedric. If she was as serious about him as she appeared to be, then she would want to do anything to be around Harry. Want to hear the details of how he died. I won't saw she was using Harry in the sense of taking advantage of how he felt about her, but she was using him as a way to keep Cedric alive for her. As long as someone can talk about someone who has died it makes them seem like they are still here. And since Cedric died under questionable circumstances and Harry was the last one to be with him, of course Cho would want to be around him as much as possible.

I think she was also trying to start anew and was aware that Harry had the hots for her. I don't think she was ready to be laying smooches on him or taking him to "couple" spots when she knew she just wanted to talk about Cedric.

What about Harry? I think he was a bit naive to think that she was ready to move on with him so quickly after Cedric. Though, sometimes it's hard to decipher and know things when you're a teenager. A "normal" teenager has so much to deal with with changing bodies, out of control hormones and such, but Harry also has to deal with a murderous, raving lunatic (thanks Ron for that line) to deal with in the way of Voldemort to be concentrating on anything more.

But can you blame him? Can you really blame him for not wanting to let Voldemort control every aspect of his life. But the problem is his connection with Cho was sullied when Voldemort was responsible for killing Cho's first boyfriend.

I just think circumstances were wrong, they both didn't know what they were doing and I just chalk it up to the "better left alone and go back to the way things were" file.

Jen
~*~

hotharry
May 3rd, 2005, 11:44 pm
I totally agree with you JenTheWriter. They were both getting into the relationship for the wrong reasons. And therefore causing themselves more problems than had they let the situation alone. Although I do disagree on the fact that they aren't jerks. I believe that Cho was definately a jerk, because she got together with Harry for Selfish reasons, and then hurt him. If that's not a jerk, mean, or cruel, I don't know what you call that.

Jim
May 3rd, 2005, 11:58 pm
As others said, it was a clash of personalities, they both handle grief in different ways and this just sorta exploded at Puddifoots. But Jerk is a too strong of word to associate with any of their actions, it was just a sorta misunderstanding

LuvRed
May 4th, 2005, 1:25 am
In my state, when a student dies, grief couselors are called in to allow students to talk about a student or teachers passing. The Hogwarts students didn't get a chance to discuss Cedric's death. They were just sent home. Also, the fact that Cedric Diggory died under suspicious circumstance added more grief to heartbroken students.Thus, I find Cho's behavior very appropriate, as I do Harry's. People grieve in different ways. Harry chose to avoid thinking or talking about. Cho chose to cry about it. I don't think either one of them is a jerk. I think the Quibbler article helped Harry and Cho move on to a new level in their relationship.

JenTheWriter
May 4th, 2005, 1:27 am
I totally agree with you JenTheWriter. They were both getting into the relationship for the wrong reasons. And therefore causing themselves more problems than had they let the situation alone. Although I do disagree on the fact that they aren't jerks. I believe that Cho was definately a jerk, because she got together with Harry for Selfish reasons, and then hurt him. If that's not a jerk, mean, or cruel, I don't know what you call that.


lol Well, when you put it like that ... Yeah, she can be seen as a jerk for using him. But I don't think she was purposely using him for bad reasons. She was using him to help her cure her heartache. I'm not saying that's right, but she definitely should have known better.

Shylock
May 4th, 2005, 1:46 am
Harry seems to be more at fault (though Cho isnt completly innocent).

Everybody knows that he was the last to see Cedric alive, and it is a given that Cho is going to ask about him. It doesnt take a Hermione to figure out that she will ask question. Not only did Harry not prepare himself for this inevitablity, but then he goes acts like a jerk.

It is Cho's fault for accepting the date, I mean, who wants to go out with the person who last saw your ex alive and that some say killed him himself.

xyrax
May 4th, 2005, 2:32 am
Well, perhaps they neither acted very politely, but come on. They were both very emotionally strained people. Harry also happened to be temporarlily brain dead. They didn't make a very neat pair in their conditions.

Just wondering... who said Harry might have killed Cedric?

red_fairy
May 4th, 2005, 3:18 am
Just wondering... who said Harry might have killed Cedric?

It was implied, I think Seamus might have said it.

I think they were both at fault. Harry was naive and a git, but Cho was a Jerk. She should have realized that it was a sensitive issue. I doubt she was ready to give a full detailed report on Cedric if anyone asked her.

Adeline
May 4th, 2005, 3:28 am
For some reason ever since JK described Cho for the first time I have never really thought of her to be someone I wanted Harry to go out with... and yea I think that they both were in *** wrong here, but I'm sort of glad it didnt work out I guess. It just didnt feel right, especially at this time when Cedric has just died. It felt like Cho just wanted to go out with Harry to hear more about Cedric, and talk about him all the time. I just dont think Cho was ready for it. I think there could be someone much better for Harry out there possibly.

xyrax
May 4th, 2005, 3:32 am
I think they were both at fault. Harry was naive and a git, but Cho was a Jerk. She should have realized that it was a sensitive issue. I doubt she was ready to give a full detailed report on Cedric if anyone asked her.
I don't even know if we can place fault anywhere. They were both emotionally strained! I think it's unfair to say that Cho should have realized how sensitive the issue was because that's assuming she could shut up, sit down, and think about what she's doing. Do you think that either Cho or Harry could have done that? Not likely.

BTW, the lack of tact is annoying, but I think that comes with a lack of social experience--Harry seems to hang around Ron and vice versa, and they haven't mingled so much around Hogwarts. That's not even fault, though. That's personality trait.

goldencentaur
May 4th, 2005, 3:35 am
I think they were both at fault. Harry was naive and a git, but Cho was a Jerk.
I totally agree. Harry was acting like a jerk especially when it said(in american hard cover):

" It's not like that!" said Harry, and he was so releived at finally understanding what she was annoyed about he laughed.

HE LAUGHED! If I were him I wouldn't be dumb enough to do that.

xyrax
May 4th, 2005, 3:39 am
Look, if you were as nervous and stressed out as Harry, you wouldn't be thinking about doing things right or smartly (PCly :p). I might have laughed too if an outlet for my anxiety arrived so unexpectedly.

Bunny
May 4th, 2005, 5:24 am
I think, going along with what a lot of people think, that they are neither of them jerks. I do think that they are, typically, a couple of teenagers. i think they both acted like jerks; however, both also had justifiable reasons for it. you can't really blame em, you know? i supposed when you're reading the book for the 1st time, you instinctively defend harry, but remember, the book is in his point of view so what we're reading can be slightly biased. cho and harry are seriously messed up people. (My bold)I think that this is a good point, as that is how I felt. As Harry is my favourite character, I was really annoyed with Cho, but of course she doesn't really know or understand the half of what is going on with Harry. (I'm going to re-read OotP again, and it may be that I'll be annoyed with her all over again, we'll see.)

This relationship stuff is difficult at the best of times, never mind when you are a couple of grieving teenagers. I think that perhaps "jerk" is too harsh a word for this debate. A jerk would imply that, although someone knew better, they still acted insensitively, without regard for another person's feelings. Neither Harry nor Cho were guilty of this. Both of them needed something the other could not give.

Cho is the type of person, who heals better by talking and associating with people. Harry, on the other hand, handles his pain privately (or by tossing Dumbles stuff around - hehe). For either one to try and accomodate the other, it would have meant that they would be doing more harm to their own healing process.
At least that is how I see it. Harry had seen Cho and become attracted to her, but when he thinks of her, he almost seems to be thinking of someone else. Harry has liked Cho for a long time and has this image of her as the "perfect girl" on their date and is surprised to find that Cho is nothing like this. Harry (although I don't think he recognises it as such) is also grieving, but his way of coping is to avoid it, not talk about it. He wants someone who can help him do this by laughing at his jokes and making him laugh. (Harry says this in OotP). I think Harry wants to escape being Harry Potter for a while,(I can't blame him, Voldemort, Umbridge, Daily Prophet, feeling isolated), and I think him being Harry Potter is one reson why Cho is with him.
For Harry to talk about his feelings it would have to be with someone he knows and trusts, Ron and Hermione, and he sometimes has difficulty talking about things with Hermione, (although I think this is to do with her always telling him what to do). Where he wants to get to know Cho first and have fun, Cho wants to have questions answered. If things had worked out and Cho had given him space, he may have opened up to her, but because she was grieving as well she wanted answers now, and these two views were incompatible.

It could be that Cho liked Harry before Cedric asked her to the Yule Ball. Then with Cedrics death, Cho is grieving, and, like Harry after the death of Sirius, is looking for answers. Who better than Harry, (who is obviously strong and tough - he did survive the graveyard) to provide the comfort that she needs and help her understand what is going on and why it happened. It could be that she was hoping that, because they had both suffered with the death of Cedric, they could support and help each other over their grief. I think that Cho's view of Harry was just as false as his was of her. On the other hand, I can also appreaciate that Harry would rather not think about ANYTHING to do with that night. To live through it once was bad enough, more than once would be unbearable, especially if he was telling someone who was needing comfort as oppsed to comforting him.

They both need the same thing but in different ways, their way of coping is not compatible, and so the relationship folded. I don't think this relationship would have worked even if they had got together before Cedric.

Cheri
May 4th, 2005, 7:04 am
I think neither one is to blame for being selfish or cold or whatever. Harry doesn't know how he should respond to an upset girl- and much less a depressed and mourning girl. Cho really does need to let out her emotions so she can move on. It's just a hard no-win situation I think. No one is to blame except for Voldemort.

Zorro
May 4th, 2005, 2:31 pm
They both need the same thing but in different ways, their way of coping is not compatible, and so the relationship folded. I don't think this relationship would have worked even if they had got together before Cedric.
Thank you Bunny!! You put it brilliantly!! :tu:
That is what I was trying to say. That neither was at fault. They were both in a position where they needed to heal. Cho was looking to Harry for comfort and support, and even though he did like her, he was not at the stage where he could talk about it. And even if he could have talked about Cedric's death easily, I doubt that he would have been able to discuss it with Cho, what with her history with Cedric. That would have been extremely awkward and weird. :huh:

hermione26591
May 4th, 2005, 2:45 pm
It's understandable that Cho was very upset by Cedric's death, and i also think that it was too early for her to start going out with Harry straight after it. But i'm on Harry's side. Cho was a bit of a cry babay! If anyone that i knew had died, i wouldn't go crying in public and make a scene, i'd do it in the privacy of my home where no one will disturb me, and where no one could see me crying!

Zorro
May 4th, 2005, 2:56 pm
It's understandable that Cho was very upset by Cedric's death, and i also think that it was too early for her to start going out with Harry straight after it. But i'm on Harry's side. Cho was a bit of a cry babay! If anyone that i knew had died, i wouldn't go crying in public and make a scene, i'd do it in the privacy of my home where no one will disturb me, and where no one could see me crying!
Now you see, you think like Harry!!! Harry didn't want to go blubbing in public! He wanted to heal in private. The only people he shared his torment with was Sirius and Dumbledore initially, and then later (apparently) Ron and Hermoine (or so I think it is implied).
Anyway, Cho is completely different. Although I won't say that she necessarily wanted to make a scene in public, she did want to talk about it to the wrong person...

Wab
May 4th, 2005, 2:59 pm
I just put it this way. How would you like to be on a date with Harry and he was more eager to be with Hermione (or vice versa)

hotharry
May 4th, 2005, 5:25 pm
lol Well, when you put it like that ... Yeah, she can be seen as a jerk for using him. But I don't think she was purposely using him for bad reasons. She was using him to help her cure her heartache. I'm not saying that's right, but she definitely should have known better.

I guess I should probably give her a benefit of a doubt. Maybe she really thought that Harry would help her out and make her feel better. She might not have realized that she hurt him, sort of. But I guess that I'm over protective of Harry :rotfl: And well I hate anyone who would use Harry or do anything like that. :rotfl: I guess I'm the one who needs help. I've become so attached to Harry that I'm overprotective now. :rotfl: It's funny, but I'm serious.

JenTheWriter
May 4th, 2005, 8:32 pm
I guess I should probably give her a benefit of a doubt. Maybe she really thought that Harry would help her out and make her feel better. She might not have realized that she hurt him, sort of. But I guess that I'm over protective of Harry :rotfl: And well I hate anyone who would use Harry or do anything like that. :rotfl: I guess I'm the one who needs help. I've become so attached to Harry that I'm overprotective now. :rotfl: It's funny, but I'm serious.

Who can blame you? If I was like like 10 years younger and were in the Hogwarts world and friends with Harry I'd be overprotective too. I think the poor kid has gone through enough over the short span of his life. First to witness his mother's murder, the "man" who killed his parents still at large, the people who raised him were nothing short of cruel, and ever since finding out that he's a wizard the murder who killed his parents is now after him to do him in. Plus, he witnesses the murder of a fellow student, he's lost the only father figure he's ever had, and the person he had a crush on was more interested in talking about how her dead boyfriend was murdered while appeasing him with batting eyelashes and kisses here and there.

I mean when you put it like that -- it's just you can't help but want to wrap your arms around Harry and protect him from the evil out there. Though, I'm sure he's more than capable of saving our hides than the other way around. lol

Jen
~*~

StephyJ_83
May 4th, 2005, 8:51 pm
I have grown very protective of Harry too, so it's nice to know I'm not the only obsessed one.

If there is one thing that I have learned about relationships, it's that 90% of the time there is blame to share. Harry wasn't as sensitive to Cho as he should have been, but Cho should have realized that Harry was NOT Cedric. I think that was her main problem.

HedwigOwl
May 5th, 2005, 3:58 am
I have grown very protective of Harry too, so it's nice to know I'm not the only obsessed one.

If there is one thing that I have learned about relationships, it's that 90% of the time there is blame to share. Harry wasn't as sensitive to Cho as he should have been, but Cho should have realized that Harry was NOT Cedric. I think that was her main problem.

Very astutely put, wise beyond your years.

Dumbledorefan
May 5th, 2005, 6:48 am
I dont think Cho was looking for a boyfriend. She was just wanting someone to listen to her problems. I'm all for harry. He is the one that actually saw cedric die. That has got to be extremely uncomfortable. Cho should have went bawling to Marietta. I never liked Cho in the first place and i hope we dont see to much of her in the other 2 books. Harry didn't want to forget it, He had already talked about it with Ron and Hermione, i think he was past the whole grief period. Cho led Harry on by trying to get sympathy from him.

StephyJ_83
May 5th, 2005, 6:53 am
Very astutely put, wise beyond your years.
Thank you very much. I appreciate that.

I think that if you favor someone, you are always going to find imperfections about the other person. No one is perfect. Not even Harry or Dumbledore (man, DD's not perfect, that just ruined my view through the rose-colored glasses).

hotharry
May 5th, 2005, 5:36 pm
Who can blame you? If I was like like 10 years younger and were in the Hogwarts world and friends with Harry I'd be overprotective too. I think the poor kid has gone through enough over the short span of his life. First to witness his mother's murder, the "man" who killed his parents still at large, the people who raised him were nothing short of cruel, and ever since finding out that he's a wizard the murder who killed his parents is now after him to do him in. Plus, he witnesses the murder of a fellow student, he's lost the only father figure he's ever had, and the person he had a crush on was more interested in talking about how her dead boyfriend was murdered while appeasing him with batting eyelashes and kisses here and there.

I mean when you put it like that -- it's just you can't help but want to wrap your arms around Harry and protect him from the evil out there. Though, I'm sure he's more than capable of saving our hides than the other way around. lol

Jen
~*~

It's so true though. I just have to laugh at myself for getting so involved with a person that doesn't really exsist outside my head. I guess that is the fun of all of it though. I agree with ya that he would probably end up saving us more then us saving him. It's great though.

You're right though, all Harry needs is another person hurting him. He's already been through enought and if someone else other than Voldermort (that's expected) hurts him, I will definately dislike them immensely. Like I do Cho. But I can see that it is Harry's fault too. I just like to over look that. I dunno why though.... :rotfl: I think that we have all got to be insane. And if this is insanity, I'm loving it! :rotfl:


I have grown very protective of Harry too, so it's nice to know I'm not the only obsessed one.

If there is one thing that I have learned about relationships, it's that 90% of the time there is blame to share. Harry wasn't as sensitive to Cho as he should have been, but Cho should have realized that Harry was NOT Cedric. I think that was her main problem.

Glad to hear we're not alone in our overprotectiveness.

You are very right. Harry wasen't sensitive to Cho's needs. But he has never had a girlfriend before, so I doubt he really knows what he is suppose to do. Especially when she spends most of her time wanting him to be Cedric, and crying about that. Guy's hate it when girls cry. My guy friend told me once that guys just don't know what to do. I know this is true because I woke up 45mins late for my final and I had to walk up to campus and it was horrible. I walked up with my guy friend and cried the whole way. The poor guy didn't know what to do. He just looked at me horrified. It's funny looking back, but not at the time. Finally he just decided the best method was to calm me down. Which thanks to him, I made it to my final calm and ready to take my test.

Anyways, the point of this is that Harry probably had no idea what to do when Cho cried. What could he do? Her boyfriends dead, she wanted to talk about it, and he didn't cause he knew she would cry. And like it was any easier for him to talk about it. I think that Cho is far more to blame here than Harry. True he didn't handle himself as well as he has in the past, but Cho was much worse than he. Of course true, they are both to blame. But I have a hard time blaming anything on Harry because of the things stated above.

StephyJ_83
May 5th, 2005, 5:39 pm
I agree that Harry probably didn't know what to do whe Cho cried. Man, looking back, I think I must have made life for my guy friends very difficult in high school, cause I cried a lot my junior year. They eventually just sent the girls over to me cause they didn't know what to do. :lol: Yeah, Harry didn't know what to do, but, like Ron said, maybe he'll find someone who is happier, and that she'll be happier with someone else.

Ken45
May 5th, 2005, 5:45 pm
Neither of them were the jerk. Harry was clueless and Cho was being weird, which is what girls are pretty good at. They just weren't right for each other in that respect that Cho needed someone who understood her, and Harry didn't. Harry wasn't ready for what dating Cho required. Eventually, Rowling will have him ready, adn then the shippers will go crazy.

Dumbledorefan
May 5th, 2005, 5:59 pm
HMM, I still say Cho is to blame. ALthough neither of them were right for each other at all in my opinion. By the way Adeline, did you know that a liger is a real animal!!

TrixieBella
May 5th, 2005, 6:10 pm
Neither was the jerk. Here's my take on their situation:

I can sympathize with Cho. She's just lost her boyfriend, whom it was obvious she really cared for, and he cared for her as well...(2nd task) I think that us girls are always on the lookout for the boy that will just hold us in their arms and tell us it's going to be okay. We want to cry to them and lean on their shoulder, so to speak. After Cedric died, Cho was like, "Hey, Harry liked me last year, so maybe hooking up with him will help take my mind off of Cedric and perhaps he will turn out to be a great boyfriend. Not to mention he's famous..." (Sorry, had to add that little bit in the end there; it seems Cho has a certain affinity for well-known boy students)

Poor Harry didn't realize what he was getting himself into. See, the thing about Harry is that he can easily detach himself from his emotions and carry on normally as long as no one is talking about the thing that upsets him. Once someone logs into his feelings, he feels free to just spill them out all over the place. He has no experience with girls whatsoever, and has no idea that Cho is really just on the rebound, looking for someone to fill the void in her heart. Because Harry is not expressive about his emotions like Cho is with people he hardly knows, he doesn't get why she is so eager to talk about Cedric. She feels that talking about his death with the person who witnessed it will help not only her get over it, but it will help her and Harry become closer. Harry only lets out his anger and pain to his closest friends and this is why Harry is caught way off guard when Cho starts to cry.

I think that the reason the relationship didn't work out is because they are just too different. They are at different maturity levels, they are both experiencing loss and yet one is willing to express their feelings, and the other is not. They were going by looks alone, and that's a sure fire recipe for a sour relationship if the personalities don't get along, which obviously is the case.

SSJ_Jup81
May 5th, 2005, 6:14 pm
For the record, my first time reading OotP, I put the majority of the blame on Harry. Like I said before, Cho really seemed to like Harry in GoF since she did seem upset that she couldn't go with Harry to the Yule Ball, and with some of the things she said in OotP, I really got the impression that she did (but, felt guilty because of Cedric).

I personally found Cho's reaction quite understandable, not necessarily logical, but understandable. She was still grieving over Cedric, and now she's going out with another guy, which is making her feel as if she's betraying Cedric.

The way Harry approached the situation was literally tactless, like Hermione said. Cho needed emotional support, and like I mentioned in an earlier post, Cho is obviously the type that prefers talking about a problem or facing it instead of bottling them all up, like Harry does. Cho is open; Harry is closed. Cho was in a grievance period, and hadn't fully gotten the chance to get over Ced's death.

The only other person who she probably felt she could relate to in this sense was Harry, who too probably needed to "talk about it". She hadn't come to terms with his death yet.

Oh, I also don't blame Cho for getting upset with Harry when he mentioned he'd talked about Cedric with Ron and Hermione. I know would be.

For the record, the two just should have remained friends and then mayber work their way into a relationship, as neither were ready for one. Cho wasn't over Cedric (unless she felt she had, but it just turned out to not be true) and Harry had too much on his plate.

And because of that final reason there (Harry had too much on his plate), this is why I feel that Harry would be better off alone until after the defeat of Voldemort. I couldn't see him having a successful relationship knowing that he still has a madman after him, Snape's loathing towards him, his worrying about being killed every year, the prophecy, etc.

omnedon11
May 5th, 2005, 6:37 pm
I don't think they are jerks. They are two different people who handle grief in different ways.

For those of you who critize Harry's behavior toward Cho, who was Harry's role model? Who was there while he was growing up? *Vernon* :wow: Considering that, I think Harry did quite well for himself. I shudder to think how Vernon would have handled the situation. :eyebrows:

Ninerings
May 5th, 2005, 6:41 pm
Cho was "rebounding" with Harry. She just lost someone and decided to go next in line. I personally see her as a glory hound who has hooked up with whoever is the popular one at the moment.
Also, she kept playing mind games with Harry and crying on his shoulder to help her through her tough times without even thinking of his. I don't like her. never did, never will.

Jordan
May 5th, 2005, 6:51 pm
they both were - Harry was unsure and she was stupid.
good thing it ended!

sheero
May 5th, 2005, 8:06 pm
yeah welll...... i don't think they both behaved well..... it's part of growing up. :) everyone goes through that stage. *sheero is now reminiscing the good old days... will shut up now before incriminating herself.* :)

hp007
May 5th, 2005, 9:13 pm
Harry has enough going on...he doesn't need an emotionally unstable girl to add to his already huge list of tensions and worries.

sonorus517
May 5th, 2005, 9:35 pm
While I was never a big fan of the Harry- Cho relationship, I still think Harry didn't handle himself very well in Madam Puddifoots. I mean he mentioned Hermione at probably the worst time possible.

enchantedgerbil
May 5th, 2005, 10:30 pm
I don't really think either of them acted like jerks. It's true that Harry didn't really try to comfort her at all after Cedric's death. It's also true that Cho shouldn't've had such high expectations for him to comfort her. And she did play a few evil mind-games there.

Overall, though, I don't think it's either of their faults. Personally, I just don't think they were a good match. Harry needs someone who doesn't expect him to know how she's feeling at every moment. Cho needs someone who can appreciate her feelings.

TheMarauder
May 6th, 2005, 2:38 am
Harry was a bit clueless yeah, but Cho was a bloody whinebag. No I'm not British or Austrailian, but I can still say bloody. :p

Firebolt2004
May 6th, 2005, 2:46 am
I don't think either one was a jerk. They were both just not suited for each other. They both started the relationship expecting something else out of each other and had too many other problems that made them too self centered to try and understand the other.

While, I believe, both were to blame for the break up, I don't think either one acted like a jerk.

phrodo
May 6th, 2005, 5:23 am
Harry was definately the jerk, but you can't be too hard on him - he's only fifteen. Hermione's explanation of Cho's feelings and how he should have arragnged to meet with hermione was priceless!

Dumbledorefan
May 6th, 2005, 6:36 am
Cho should have known that Hermione is just a friend, it's her own fault, not Harry's. I think Cho was jealous. If you dont like my friends, then what is the point of a relationship? It's a package deal you dont have to like the friends but you need to realize they are the friends. They were there first, and will probably be there after.

Learic
May 6th, 2005, 9:30 am
Well, not counting the fact that they were never really right for each other -- just attracted to each other, which is different -- Cho pulled Harry in by treating him as a boyfriend, but what she was really looking for was information and empathy. Not that there's anything wrong with that, but she probably shouldn't have mixed the boyfriend/friend role. Harry, on the other hand, always had seemed to have a crush on Cho, and he was trying to get past the horrible experience of Cedric's death, not analyze it. I don't think either one was a jerk, just wanting different things and from the wrong people.


That's a really smart observation. It doesn't show your age, but your thoughts are really mature about relationships! I agree with you.

A little off topic...my sister is in a relationship like that right now. They just aren't right for each other and it kills me! He abuses her emotionally as well as controlling her and there is nothing I can do about it. I've told her all I can say, now I just have to wait for her realise that I'm right.

Shughla
May 6th, 2005, 9:40 am
I didnt really like Cho.

Why go for Harry when she's not over Cedric??!! It just does not make sense. Harry was very nice to her - or atleast, as much as he knew how.

Of course Harry was going to get peeved at her for sticking up for her friend when she sneaked on them. Harry is really big on loyalty - which is why he's in Gryffindor.

g_black
May 6th, 2005, 10:43 am
Cho.

Sure, her boyfriend just died but wasnt it Harry who had to deal with the fact that he saw Cedric being murdered? Harry was the one who brang Cedric's body back. Shouldnt she be a bit sympathetic? Just because Harry didnt want to talk about it doesnt mean she should get offended. He didnt even talk about it with Hermione and Ron at first!

Actually I just read the previous posts. Everyone has good points I guess Im just a bit biased :blush: .

Bunny
May 7th, 2005, 10:37 am
Thank you Bunny!! You put it brilliantly!! :tu:
That is what I was trying to say. That neither was at fault. They were both in a position where they needed to heal. Cho was looking to Harry for comfort and support, and even though he did like her, he was not at the stage where he could talk about it. And even if he could have talked about Cedric's death easily, I doubt that he would have been able to discuss it with Cho, what with her history with Cedric. That would have been extremely awkward and weird. :huh:Thanks Zorro, I agree. He certainly would (and did) find her trying to discuss Cedric awkward. Cho. Sure, her boyfriend just died but wasnt it Harry who had to deal with the fact that he saw Cedric being murdered? Harry was the one who brang Cedric's body back. Shouldnt she be a bit sympathetic? Just because Harry didnt want to talk about it doesnt mean she should get offended. He didnt even talk about it with Hermione and Ron at first!

Actually I just read the previous posts. Everyone has good points I guess Im just a bit biased No, I don't think you are biased, I think that it is a good point. If it was unfair of Harry not to realise that Cho was still getting over Cedric, then it was unfair of Cho not to be sympathetic about the fact that Harry was still getting over being present at Cedrics murder. The problem is that in those emotional tides, reason can be lost. I think that is possibly why Cho reacted the way she did. Harry has a tight hold on his emotions, (it's what he has learned at the Dursleys)and he only allows himself to speak of them to close friends and mentors. Even then he will guard himself. Harry was definately the jerk, but you can't be too hard on him - he's only fifteen. Hermione's explanation of Cho's feelings and how he should have arragnged to meet with hermione was priceless! Hi Phrodo, I can't believe a man wrote this. I would have thought that you would have seen it from Harry's point of view, (I know I did at first) and try and rationalise it. I'm impressed. Do you still think he's a jerk though when he has so much going on in his life, he's had nobody to really teach him the social graces, and he is also trying to get over Cedrics death?
To JenTheWriter and HotHarry, I'm a lot older than both of you and I also feel very protective of Harry. When I first read the contretemps in Mme Puddifoots, I was absolutely incensed at Cho. I was so cross with her. (I'm trying to remind myself - its only two characters in a book!)You just want to reach out and stop anything else hurting him.
Good Storytelling.

merlin455
May 7th, 2005, 10:55 am
I think neither was a jerk, really. They simply weren't suited. It happens... JKR herself said so (March 4th, 2004 - World Book Day Chat) :
eastbrook4: why did Harry have to split up with Cho Chang?
JK Rowling replies -> That's life, I'm afraid. They were never going to be happy, it was better that it ended early!

GinnyLovegood
May 28th, 2005, 7:27 am
They were both stupid

Stayce
May 28th, 2005, 4:52 pm
Every time a relationship doesn't work out there does not have to be a jerk. There is only one person most peole are meant to be with and it takes trying a few to find that person. Just because someone isn't right for you doesn't mean there has to be drama, and fighting, and hatred. If you are grown up enough for the relationship you can decide that parting ways is better than forcing something that isn't between you. And if you don't agree with the other person wanting to leave the fact that they want to leave should be a huge clue they are not for you. Who wants to be the person clinging to someone that doesn't want them? I think Harry and Cho just were not going to be and that they were not ready to be together because of age and her past relationship.

wonkyfaint
May 28th, 2005, 5:32 pm
Cho deserves a lot more credit than she is given.

First her boyfriend dies in mysterious circumstances with the only witness being a person known to fancy her.

Then when they go on a date Harry is eager to go meet Hermione.

If I were her I'd've decked him.


Yes, definitely! Harry was completely clueless in this episode. I was more sympathetic to Cho during this, especially when Harry said he "had to go meet with Hermione- wanna come?" or something along the lines. It is true what you say, above poster. Some people (especially women) want to talk and bring things that are bothering them out in the open, and others (especially men) don't want to talk about it.

In defense of Harry, though, he was only a clueless kid and Cho's emotions were way too much for him to handle. He had wanted to date her, but to have fun and diversion in the way a teenager normally would, not to talk intensely about feelings and bring up the things causing him nightmares.

cookie654
May 28th, 2005, 5:41 pm
I think they both were being jerks because harry didn't take into consideration how cho felt and he shouldn't have brought cedric and I think cho was being over-emotional and she shouldn't heve been down harry's throat for everything he said or did

smartamy15
May 28th, 2005, 9:21 pm
Well I'm a total Cho hater. The girl is mean selfish and well....just plain cruel. She has known since at least GoF that Harry has a crush on her. So in OoTP She wanted to fill the void of a boyfriend and knew that she could get one easily by luring Harry in and then using him as a replacement for Cedric. This is cruel to Harry becuase he thinks that she actually likes him. I don't think that she does. She likes Harry because he was there at Cedrics' death. And she probably knows that Harry doesn't like to talk about that and then she asks him all the time about it. If she really cared about Harry she wouldn't ask about Cedric or even talk about him. Cho was using Harry to replace Cedric (also was there at her boyfriends death.) and when Harry didn't measure up she dumped him. She wanted to fill the boyfriend void, wanted to know more about Cedrics death, and hoped that Harry was like Cedric. Well I don't know about you, but that is not my idea of a good reason to get together with someone.

I agree with you in the sense that Cho was not ready to have another relationship. And I did have a small doubt in the back of my mind that Cho never really liked Harry, it's just that he knew how Cedric died and she wanted to hear more about him. She wasn't really ready to even move on. It had only been a few months, and she had to get over a death and a relationship. I feel rather sorry for her.

Harry was kind of getting himself into this, as he was very tactless around her and had no idea what to say or do.

So yes, neither of them were exactly ready for this relationship as Cho was just not over Cedric and Harry needs to read "Girls for Dummies" ;):p.

LairyFights
June 1st, 2005, 10:14 pm
Personally I think Harry was, I mean Cho's boyfriend had just died, Harry shold have understood that she was obviously going to be upset. Even if Cedric's death was expected you could understand her acting the way she did, but he was coldly murdered by Voldemort no less. I think Harry should have understood this what with him being there and seeing the whole event.

Lugvar
June 1st, 2005, 10:37 pm
They were both stupid, IMO...However my anti-Cho mind must say that she is really rude, tactless, bleuargh. Imagine your (boy/girl)friend seeing someone being killed...Would you ask him/her "Hey guy, how it was?"

heiress
June 1st, 2005, 11:41 pm
I honestly just think that there was a lack of understanding between Harry and Cho. Because of the timing, they didn't really have the opportunity to get to know each other very well. A lack of communication on how either side was feeling is to blame I think, and I think that it is because neither character has much experience in a relationship. Cho never told Harry that she was jealous of Hermione, when if she would have been forthcoming with the information, Harry could have told her that Hermione was just a friend (if she believed him). And also there were things Harry wouldn't have told Cho because he didn't know her well enough to trust her with secrets such as the order, which made Cho feel slightly left out because Harry could talk to Hermione about it. I just think that in the given situation, it would have been hard for things to work out between them.

HappyHobbit
June 1st, 2005, 11:48 pm
Harry dated Cho because she was pretty and didn't really know her personality. That was a mistake. Just because you think someone is pretty doesn't mean you'll find them enjoyable to be around. Cho dated Harry because he was a link to Cedric, and mistakenly took Harry's trials as indicator of his maturity. While Harry is very mature in some areas , going from dating a seventh year to a fivth year is going to have some differences. Cho wanted Harry to be the type of boyfriend that he was not ready for, and he may never be the type of guy she is looking for.

Niether Cho nor Harry are jerks. They are simply the victims of their own false assumptions.

Moontan
June 1st, 2005, 11:48 pm
Neither of them was exactly thinking clearly. Cho was on a serious emotional rollercoaster (as Hermione describes at length) and Harry had other things on his mind. Not really a firm basis for a serious relationship.

Besides, they definetly couldn't stay together. If they had done, it would leave many a 'Ship on the rocks.

ChocolateRain
June 1st, 2005, 11:51 pm
I think that they were both jerks because Harry shouldn't have mentioned Cedric but Cho was a jerk to be all emotional and cry a lot

Sprout1962
June 2nd, 2005, 12:19 am
You're right, Moontan, it wasn't exactly a stable start to a romance. Add to this the fact that Harry has never had a girlfriend, and has just a few outside pressures, and the recipe for failure is pretty well written.

Aire627
June 2nd, 2005, 1:12 am
I do not think that either Harry or Cho were jerks. Cho had a lot going on at the time, she probably shouldn't have considered being in another relationship to begin with. Cedric, her boyfriend, had just died, and going out with Harry almost right away probably wasn't the most intelligent move. Cho may have come off as a jerk because of the way she reacted too emotionally, but I think we should all understand that she's been through a lot.

Harry reacted as anyone would. Some could argue that he shouldn't have spoken about Hermione as much, or that he should have been more understanding of Cho and her loss. None of this though, is the case. I would have acted as Harry did if someone cried about someone else around me all of the time. He tried to make Cho see that he didn't want to talk about Cedric anymore, but his attempts failed miserably.

Either way, their relationship didn't have to do with who was the jerk and who wasn't, it had all to do with miscommunication.

Uriel
June 2nd, 2005, 2:44 am
No, Cho isn't wrong for trying to find answers, but she has to understand that Harry can't go over things again and again, ie make a performance, whenever Cho or anyone else wants him to. Harry thought Cho wanted to get to know him. And to find out that all she wanted to know was more details of Cedric's death was a blow too many. Perhaps if Cho had gone about it another way, then Harry would have eventually opend up to her. He can always talk to Ron and Hermoine, but sometimes a new opinion can do wonders. If she had made some attempts to just chat with Harry and really get to know him he would have been able to talk with her about Cedric. Now, I don't think he trusts her. Harry couldn't really give Cho much solace since he won't receive any for some time.

mlp36
June 2nd, 2005, 2:52 am
Quite honestly they both were. Cho just couldn't let Cedric rest, even though at Christmas it had been six months since he died, and at Valentines day it had been eight months. That is way too long for the ordinary 16 year old to go on like that. But Harry was every bit as much of a jerk in the way he yells at her about Marietta just before Snape's worst memory. I think Cho may have been overdoing it on purpose just to see how sensitive and caring Harry was.

GirlX
June 7th, 2005, 5:23 am
harry was the jerk. mb its just because im a girl but when harry was saying all the wrong things i was like screaming at him.

Master Bere
June 7th, 2005, 6:00 am
I always thought that their split was mainly because the inmaturity of Harry when involves this love issues and the fact that Cho couldn't move on...
I don't think anyone in special were the guilty one, both had the fault

SSJ_Jup81
June 7th, 2005, 6:23 am
Quite honestly they both were. Cho just couldn't let Cedric rest, even though at Christmas it had been six months since he died, and at Valentines day it had been eight months. That is way too long for the ordinary 16 year old to go on like that. But Harry was every bit as much of a jerk in the way he yells at her about Marietta just before Snape's worst memory. I think Cho may have been overdoing it on purpose just to see how sensitive and caring Harry was.I disagree with what I bolded there entirely. Not everyone is the same and not everyone deal with the death of a loved one as simply as maybe another person.

Everyone grieves in different ways and at a different pace. Cho, unfortunately, never got that closure she obviously needed to get over Cedric and was probably hoping to get that through Harry. Unfortunately, that didn't work out either, as Harry was a bit insensitive towards her, but I guess I can understand his side of things as well.

If Cho would've gotten that needed closure, I'm sure that she would have gotten over Cedric much quicker, unless, her main reason for dating Harry was to try and move on; to try and get over him.

HERmeOWNknee
June 7th, 2005, 9:41 pm
cho - she shouildnt of jumped into a realationsh if she wsnt over cedric and his death.

biuealien
June 7th, 2005, 9:48 pm
i dont think either of them were jerks i just think that they just werent meant for each other....

linapoly
June 8th, 2005, 2:22 am
I think neither of them, in several eps the one who blame was Harry (hogsmeade visit in valentines day) and other was Cho (what was she thinking of when she went for Harry as a boyfriend having his former boyfriend death?) anyway as Jo said, that's life that's the process of growing up, they both messed up in their own ways but I believe that in no time (maybe in book 6 or 7) Cho will understand him and Harry will understand her and could be that they remain as friends and allies agains Voldemort.
Besides they were youngester and young ppl made mistakes and later they try to cope with it and realise that wasnt a good idea to be with someone in that difficult time (for both of them)

Iris_Evans
June 8th, 2005, 2:45 am
I don't think it was a case of either of them being a jerk. Cho was so wrapped up in her emotions and since Harry was the last one to see Cedric alive, she feels a connection with him. Harry is having his first "girl" experience, he doesn't know what he's doing (as Hermione points out later) and it's really just a case of miscommunication, in my opinion. They're both pretty new at the "love" thing, and unfortunately (but not for Ginny, hee hee!) it turned out badly...

Derfel
June 8th, 2005, 3:22 am
I think that they were both jerks, Cho for not shutting up about Cedric and bringing Harry into the situation and Harry not being a comfort giver when she needed it.

Asrana
June 8th, 2005, 3:31 am
I think that they were both jerks, Cho for not shutting up about Cedric and bringing Harry into the situation and Harry not being a comfort giver when she needed it.
Cho never gave Harry comfort. Cho believed Harry when he said how Voldie returned and saw Cedric die yet she did nothing to help him through it.

serpent_gurl2
June 8th, 2005, 3:39 am
Unfortunately, some teenagers act their age by being jerks. James proves this too- he was a bit of an idiot. But I don't think either Cho or Harry were a real, flat-out jerk. Cho was just wasn't ready for a new boyfriend since she still misses Cedric so much. And Harry was just... tactless, very tactless. Boys may argue that girls are tricky to understand and to please at times, but you have to admit that Harry didn't think before he spoke at Madam Pudifoot's. But that's getting off topic.

I dont think that ethier of them were being "jerks". I do think that Harry was being a little rude, but everyone knows that he wesn't being as nice and friendly as he was in lets say year one. I mean he is getting older and more mature and that involves some major mood swings. But the thing that gets me about Cho is that she and Cedric were dating what not even half of the book. And yeah it was sad that Cedric died and I was not expecting it and Im sure she wasn't ethier, but she acted like she was madly in love with him and well she wasn't unless it was some kind of "love at first sight" fluffy thing. And lets be honset that only happens in the movies ( and maybe for Ron and Hermione, but thats off topic.) So I think that it is just typical teen angst, but with some more serious topics then Spanish finals and lip gloss, I mean Cedric did die and thats gotta suck, but I say lets all forget Cedric and mourn for Sirius! We miss Padfoot!

Derfel
June 8th, 2005, 3:41 am
Cho never gave Harry comfort. Cho believed Harry when he said how Voldie returned and saw Cedric die yet she did nothing to help him through it.

I never stated that cho gave Harry comfort. Read more carefully and maybe you would understand what I was trying to get at. I said that Harry was a jerk not giving Cho that much comfort. After what she had gone through. She looked for answers within Harry, seeking comfort but Harry never displayed his comfort for her.

The other part I believe you on that account.

AngiePangie
June 8th, 2005, 4:24 am
I don't think either of them was a jerk, but I do think that the whole Harry and Cho thing was a bad idea and both of them should have realized that.

Cho wasn't a jerk, she was just grieving for Cedric, and being in a place that they had gone to together made her super emotional. I think that the biggest reason that Cho was attracted to Harry was because he was with Cedric when he died, and she saw him as a last link to Cedric kinda thing. Whatever the case she wasn't ready to start dating again so soon after Cedrics death, and she should have realized that.

Harry wasn't being a jerk either. He's young, he has no experiece with girls. I mean it was his first date after all. And it's not as though Harry was just some one who wasn't affected by Cedric's death at all, he was still trying to work out his own issues with Cedric's death, which were completly diffrent than Cho's. He was probably pretty suprised that Cho had gone to pieces in the middle of thier date as well. He's not a jerk, he just wasn't prepared for that.

Anyway I don't think either of them were being a jerk or is at fault for thier relationship not working out. They were pretty much doomed from the begining.

ded
June 8th, 2005, 4:26 am
They were jerky to each other...



Doesn't make for a very stable relationship, eh?

strange magic
June 8th, 2005, 4:26 am
Cho, she tried to bring up a past relationship on a date and that is not good.

synyan
June 8th, 2005, 8:34 am
cho is a real jerk. I can't stand people who cries and gets jealous so easily. she only cares for her own feelings and not for harry's feelings. she also befriended marietta and never really regret or admitted it was such a terrible mistake that caused dumbledore to leave the schoolinstead she continued to wallow in her jealousy. if she suspects something between harry and hermione, she shouldn't even have agreed to go to puddifoot's with him in the first place. Harry mentioned about hermione only when he couldn't think of what else to say. the most stupid thing is when she said the interview with skeeter made her cry. How stupid is that?! I really wonder how she can be a quidditch player when she's so emotional. She doesn't even know harry that well especially how the muggles treat harry during summer.

waggawaggawer
June 8th, 2005, 10:40 am
cho is a real jerk. I can't stand people who cries and gets jealous so easily. she only cares for her own feelings and not for harry's feelings. she also befriended marietta and never really regret or admitted it was such a terrible mistake that caused dumbledore to leave the schoolinstead she continued to wallow in her jealousy. if she suspects something between harry and hermione, she shouldn't even have agreed to go to puddifoot's with him in the first place. Harry mentioned about hermione only when he couldn't think of what else to say. the most stupid thing is when she said the interview with skeeter made her cry. How stupid is that?! I really wonder how she can be a quidditch player when she's so emotional. She doesn't even know harry that well especially how the muggles treat harry during summer.

That is what occurred to me, too. Cho has been through a bad experience, to be sure. But she expects there will be people who will help her, what if there isn't ever, and everyone she meets is looking for comfort from her, instead? Although Cho did need to talk to someone, it is rare to find someone the same age who has had the experience and maturity to cope with that sort of discussion. Even much older people find themselves in the same boat if they can't get to trained counsellors.

Cho wasn't much of a friend to Marietta either. All those giggling girls might have been OK when she was the chosen girlfriend of Cedric, but they couldn't have helped her much after Cedric's death. Marietta tried to stay with Cho even though she didn't care much for either the DA, defying her mother or Harry, but Cho never seemed to notice.

Harry has never really had the luxury of someone to confide in until GOF, when Sirius Black provided some consolation. Harry has had to cope with his own emotions without much input from anyone else, especially before he went to Hogwarts. We saw what a quandary he was in when his scar hurt after that dream at the beginning of GOF as to who he could confide in. I'd say that Harry was completely out of his depth in Madame Puddifoot's.

rotsiepots
June 8th, 2005, 12:32 pm
I just don't think they were right for each other. Cho had issues she had to deal with and Harry was just a bit too immature.

I thought it was rather typical of your average adolescent relationship, so that's a testament to JKR's writing ability. Realistic awkward first loves. Go Jo.

SSJ_Jup81
June 8th, 2005, 12:35 pm
cho - she shouildnt of jumped into a realationsh if she wsnt over cedric and his death.Not if she thought she was over Cedric, when in reality, she later discovered she wasn't fully.

demiguiseguy
June 8th, 2005, 5:26 pm
I think Cho was a jerk becuse she was basically using Harry to make up for the loss of Cedric Diggory. I mean I can understand if Harry doesn't want to talk to Cho about someone he just witnessed dying.

ronw516
June 8th, 2005, 7:33 pm
Basically I do not think that either one of them were being jerky, even if they were a little insensitive to one another's needs it is quite understandable, both were going thru different emotions over the same thing, cedric's death.

Harry:
Harry obviously did not want to relive that horrible night when cedric was so brutally killed, for no reason other then a mistake that he was with harry. Then comes the fact that after he does get over it as best he can, he starts seeing cho and it is a constant reminder with her bringing it up. Thus he shuts down which is the only way he can cope with it.

Cho:
Cho is overcoming the loss of someone very important in her life and also trying to begin again. As hermione said, she liked harry and then felt guilty about it due to cedric, that is enough to make a relationship hard for anyone. Then comes the fact that harry was the one with cedric when he died, and she felt that in order to get over him, harry could help her dothat by sharing what happened with her, something he couldnt do.

Thus, neither was even ready to be in a relationship, let alone with one another, i highly doubt tho that anything between the two would have worked out any how.

Maribelle
June 8th, 2005, 7:44 pm
Yep, they were both a little selfish & not very empathetic.... Harry had little to no empathy for her emotional state & was rightly preoccupied with his own stress. Cho was justifiably busy in her mind with her grief & unable to fully comprehend the weight of Harry's responsibilities. It was a really annoying relationship, as almost all are at that age, LOL - although probably not for no reason ... I'm sure the goddess of words, JKR, included it in the text for a better reason that we know at the moment ;)

PunkRockGirli
June 8th, 2005, 7:53 pm
I think that they both had thier problems.....
Cho wasn't ready for a relationship, especially if she was still crying over her x....I mean she obviously loved him for than Harry...and she thought her and Harry would work because they both had know Cedric pretty well.
Harry liked Cho....but the thing was that he wasn't understanding of her feelings...and didn't know how to make her feel better or what to say.

SO my own conclusion is that they just didn't understand eachother too well at the time and they were both kinda confused.
so sad so sad :( They would have made a cute couple....but I guess Cho need someone her age.

Arya4ever
June 8th, 2005, 8:14 pm
I think that neither Cho or Harry were being a jerk, atleast not intentionally. It may have seemed that way to one another, though. Cho was going through a very rough time and was very confused about her feelings toward Harry, and just was unable to think straight about much of anything. Therefore she wasn't able to see clearly how her bringing up Cedric's death all the time might be affecting Harry. I can hardly blame her, I mean, come on! Her boyfriend just died, give the girl a break! Harry wasn't really being a jerk either. He was also going through a rough time. He had to deal with his guilty conscience (he must have felt as if it was all his fault Cedric died, I mean he did ask Cedric to grab the cup at the same time so they would tie. But his reasoning was pure and honest and he had no intention of ever hurting Cedric, so please don't misunderstand me.) Plus, he now knows Voldemort is on the loose and could kill anyone at any moment, his friends are arguing, he feels as if Dumbledore no longer trusts him, Snape is being as awful as ever and now theres Umbridge in the mix, and he's the leader of an illegal organization within the school. Harry has a lot on his mind at the time and also admits that he doesn't understand girls and how Cho was feeling. He had no way of knowing what the right thing was to do in many of his situations with Cho. He's not to blame, either.

amber_gem
June 8th, 2005, 8:31 pm
Neither- but i think it didnt work out because Cho did not comfort Harry when he needed it and Harry didn't help Cho get over Cedric's death. Also they were both pretty new at the 'going out' thing and they probably didn't date at the right time (round about Cedric's death) otherwise maybe it would have worked out.

johncna
June 8th, 2005, 8:44 pm
I'm not exacly sure. Yes,Harry was being a jerk mentioning Cedric to Cho,but it was very rude of Cho to burst out at Harry for mentioning him. They were really both the big jerks there.

Ok first of all ur not smart. Harry didnt mention Cedric to Cho, cho mentioned Cedric to harry. Therefore Cho didnt burst out at harry bevcause he mentioned Cedric, She burst out a him for not wanting to mention Cedric :angel:

Niffly
June 8th, 2005, 8:56 pm
Well, Harry didn't know exactly what to do with a girl but anyway I did never like Cho so...

synyan
June 9th, 2005, 10:04 am
it's just plain stupid for cho to cry over the interview harry had with rita skeeter. This is the ULTIMATE evidence of what a REAL JERK she is. even if she wanted to cry about the interview, she don't have to mention it to harry. What's the point of saying that she cried over the interview? Did she just want harry's attention?? Is she lacking in attention. Did she actually think that harry will feel guilty or like her more by telling him that? but it's a good think that she forgave harry just by saying that. I also can assume that for somebdy to cry so much all over the place, it's difficult to find a true friend. She should be ashamed of herself. I don't think that cho has any real, best friend in ootp, the only person she was together with during DA was marietta, other than that, no other friend of hers was mentioned. She should stop mourning and get on with life. I wouldn't be surprised that in the next book, she decides to commit suicide but since she found somebody else at the end of the ootp, that wouldn't be likely and it could also mean she won't be such a jerk in the next book. I think that cho is a bit loony by telling harry that she cried over the interview.well, a bit like luna lovegood who always respond to different situations in the strangest of ways.

MadMuggle
June 15th, 2005, 12:10 am
Ok first of all ur not smart. Harry didnt mention Cedric to Cho, cho mentioned Cedric to harry. Therefore Cho didnt burst out at harry bevcause he mentioned Cedric, She burst out a him for not wanting to mention Cedric :angel:
We don't make comments about other users in the COS forums. You're new so you didn't know, but just try and keep your posts about the books and opinions, not about the users themselves. :tu:

As for Cho, lets not forget she is greiving Cedric. She's not just out to get sympathy from Harry. She's dealing with very real emotions. It's not easy to deal with any death, especially when it's so very sudden. And as Hermione said, she must have been extremely confused about liking Harry given the circumstances.

Sprout1962
June 15th, 2005, 12:20 am
I don't know... the more I think about this one, the more I think I'm looking at it from an adult point of view (I guess that makes sense since I'm in my 40's) rather than a teen age point of view. When two teenagers are getting to know each other, and have a crush on each other, they do and say the darnedest things! I teach in a high school and see it every day! Often neither one knows what to say, so they say the first thing that comes into their brain, and then sound really silly. Awkwardness is one of the hallmarks of teen relationships, and Harry and Cho are fictional proof of that :wink:

Delayed_Poet
June 15th, 2005, 12:46 am
I don't think it's exactly fair to label either one of the a jerk. I mean, Cho was going through a very difficult, emotional time (all personal feelings concerning her aside) and she was Harry's first crush and girlfriend. I think she treated him a bit unfairly, as she knew he had no experience and that he would most likely mess up. I mean, she is a Ravenclaw, after all!

Harry, on the other hand, really needs a kick in the butt and some common sense pushed through his ears! I mean, you don't interrupt your date by saying you have to meet another girl! (My thoughts on that will remain so, mine.)

Personally, I really don't think either of them were jerks, as they were in a relationship that was doomed before it ever really began!

shimmers711
June 15th, 2005, 1:05 am
I can see both ways. I would say that Cho was more of a jerk, but not really. I mean she was kind of leading Harry on, going to a nice place on Valentine's Day, but she was also sad and did want to talk. I think she could have done a better job at trying to approach that issue. I think Cho was really sad and just wanted to be comforted, where as harry really wanted her to be his girlfriend. Harry on the other hand really does not have common sense sometimes, then again he didn't really have that many social chances growing up with the dursleys. So anyway, both kind of screwed up but as for the relationship thing, Cho was more of a jerk in that sense.

hel101
June 15th, 2005, 1:16 am
I think that they were both being complete and utter JERKS!

Cho should have been able to see that Harry wasn't comfortable with talking about Cedric, it was quite

But on the other hand, Harry could've been more sympathetic. I mean she just lost her boyfriend for crying out loud! She just lost someone very dear to her

iarjonit
June 15th, 2005, 1:22 am
i can understnad that she was sad for cedric's death, but if she wasn't prepared for another relation, why did she accept harry, then?
and, ok, as hermy said, harry was a bit tactless, but, come on, he's just a teenager, he's not very mature, is he?
but , for me, cho was an annoyinf house pipe... again, i understand she was sad, but she had no reasons to annoy everyone around her. she could talk with her friends, etc,

fireangel265
June 15th, 2005, 4:30 am
They both were jerks. Neither of them was really ready to start a relationship at the moment, at least not with that person.

Cho was still sad about Cedric, and Harry had never gone out on a date before and doesn't really understand girls. And having someone who isn't all that stable with her relationships (past or present) isn't the best way to start dating.

Minxie
June 15th, 2005, 4:57 am
They both were jerks. Neither of them was really ready to start a relationship at the moment, at least not with that person.

Cho was still sad about Cedric, and Harry had never gone out on a date before and doesn't really understand girls. And having someone who isn't all that stable with her relationships (past or present) isn't the best way to start dating.
I agree that they were both jerks. I've always thought that the Cho/Harry relationship could have worked out in a different setting and time, meaning when they were both older without all the raging hormones, and without the threat of Voldemort looming in the background...

Perhaps (assuming Harry's survives the series and hasn't already hooked up with someone else) they will meet up again a few years after they've left school, and they'll give their relationship another try. But only in the wondrous and crazy world that is fanfiction, I'm afraid :) (unless JKR slips it into the epilogue at the end)

Cho_Chang1
June 15th, 2005, 5:29 am
I don't think either one of them were jerks on purpose. Cho was very emotional and still grieving over Cedric's death. It was not hard to get her upset and Harry said all of the wrong things. On the other hand, poor Harry was so nervous and he had no clue what to do on a date. It really unnerved him when everybody around him started kissing. Thanks to the Dursleys, Harry had no clue how handle a date. He didn't know what to say or do. They were both jerks, but I doubt either one of them actually meant to be.

It was annoying later on when Cho defended Marietta for snitching on the DA and then Harry blew up. Marietta was wrong and Cho should have dumped her as a friend (I know I would have.) Harry also should have been a little bit more understanding. We don't know if Marietta was a very close friend of Cho's whom she did not want to lose, even though Marietta snitched on her.(I have a friend kind of like that. I would definately give that friend another chance). If it wasn't for that scene, Cho and Harry might have gotten back together.

SiriusBlack22
June 15th, 2005, 5:34 am
Harry was too nervous and Cho was way too emotional. If you put those two things together you get one messed up relationship. But... I don't think that either of them are jerks. They just weren't meant for each other I guess. If Cho was so caught up over Cedric and still liked hi so much she should have told Harry that. So if it's anybody's fault it's Cho's.

synyan
June 15th, 2005, 6:00 pm
the whole madam puddifoot should be described as the two jerks joke because what happen was really for joking jerks.to the smart and not so smart out there, first harry mentioned hermione, then cho mentioned cedric. so maybe some of you think harry is the jerk, he started it first. but i think that nothing could have taken the relationship to a deeper level because a tangle of romance is not the core of the series which is why the only kind of ship i support is the obvious and very boring kind like ron and hermione and harry and ginny. well what will you do if you were in harry or cho situation?

hobbitseeker
June 15th, 2005, 6:15 pm
I don't really think either of them were truly jerks. I believe it was just a terrible time to try to begin a relationship. Both of them were trying to come to terms with the death of someone they were close to. Neither was in their right mind to try to think of others instead of themselves. There was a huge lack of communication between the two, as there is in many relationships. Harry wasn't meaning to be insensitive, and Cho wasn't meaning to be mean. Cho wanted something from Harry that he couldn't do--namely, replacing Cedric and supporting her 150%. And Harry was too busy thinking of his own problems to help Cho. Sometimes things just happen that way, and neither person is to blame.

Ginny22
June 15th, 2005, 6:34 pm
Well, I've always thought Cho over-reacted wanting Harry to be there unconditionally for her and wanting him to know at all times what was going through her mind when they didn't know each other very well, but I don't think she was jerk; I think she didn't know how to handle Cedric's death, was very hysteric and went to Harry for help because he was with Cedric when he died. So I agree that neither of them was a jerk. It was also a bad time to start a relationship, as hobbitseeker says. They were very different, Cho's too emotional.

thatsmeb
June 15th, 2005, 7:15 pm
defanitly CHO !!! she didnt really like harry !! she was just using him to get information about cedric, she had no other use for him than that.

cho is the jerk !!

ILuvSirius4ev
June 15th, 2005, 7:39 pm
CHo was the jerk. I mean CHo should know that Harry and Hermione are just friends and in a way harry should have made that more clear. And plus CHo needs to mvoe on she made it seem as if he had just died and always dragging Cedric into the conversation everytime her and Harry saw each other

jenny_d_b
June 15th, 2005, 7:42 pm
I think both of them were. Harry didn't want to realize how much Cedric meant to Cho (of course you don't want to think the thought that the one you have a crush on likes someone else better), but Cho knew that Harry liked her, she had to know it was a sore topic for him - not just that he was a bit jealous of Cedric, but he had still not realized himself what had happened. He had seen Cedric getting killed by the same man that killed his parents. But Cho needed someone to talk to, she knew Harry quite well and had a crush on him too, so she hoped he would help her.

So both of them made mistakes, but they were natural. None of them were jerks - or both of them were, if that's how you see it. Depends on what you consider as a jerk.

Jordan
June 15th, 2005, 8:04 pm
For me - Cho.
Harry wasn't all that great either - I wouldn't say otherwise. He is so smart about so many other things: when Ron or Hermione is upset - he seems to understand what they are going through, and has comforting words. I don't understand (and this is NOT because I'm a girl!!!) how he couldn't understand Cho's hints.
Cho, on the other hand - was plain mean. She kept hinting little hints - which she could have done without. She was completely immature about Hermione...

silver boadicea
June 16th, 2005, 12:48 am
I feel that in this instance it was Cho who was the jerk. She was older, had more experience with relationships and was using that to her advantage. I don't feel that she did this entirely on purpose, but by the time harry and cho had gone to Madame Puddifoot's, you must realize that Cedric had been dead for almost a year! I was reading about the different stages of grief somewhere and Cho shoud not have still have been crying as much as she was. She went out with Cedric for a few months, why should she have still been upset a year later? (at least to that extent)

Also, if she really, honestly was still grieving, she should never have gotten into another relationship so quickly. There is no reason to drag someone else(namely Harry) into her problems.

Am I the only one who remembers that right after She and Harry broke up, she immediatly began to date yet another guy (Michael corner.)

rILEY
June 16th, 2005, 1:15 am
CHO CHANG HANDS DOWN! Her behavior was nauseaitng. Eventhough she wasn't able to handle a relationship, she dragged Harry into her life and messed with the poor boy's head when their was so many more important things for him to be concerned with! Like, what was going through her head at Madam Puddifoot's? She really embarassed Harry. Instead, she should have realized she wasn't ready for another relationship and left him alone.
Anyway, what happened to Cho was horrible, but Cedric's death had a huge impact on Harry too. She needs to understand that. Otherwise, she is just a selfish, grieving, and dare I say over dramatic girl.

chunkylvr678
June 16th, 2005, 2:10 am
i still think that Cho was being the jerk. She was the one who brought her friend to dumbledores army, and thats how they got caught! If it wasn't for Cho, Dumbledore would never have to leave, and Umbridge wouldn't be headmistress.
Also, in OotP, Cho was overreating and Harry didnt like it. So it was basically, all Cho's fault.

The Pirate King
June 16th, 2005, 2:50 am
Heh. Who said it had to be only one of them? There are plenty of times when Cho is a drip, and plenty of times when Harry is oblivious or insensitive.

Erroll
June 16th, 2005, 2:56 am
Well, they didn't really want each other.

Cho wanted a tissue and Harry wanted a pin-up model.

NYCwitch920
June 16th, 2005, 3:37 am
Well, they didn't really want each other.

Cho wanted a tissue and Harry wanted a pin-up model.

Harry didn't want a pin-up model. No way, he's not that superficial. If anything, it's Cho who would want a "pin-up model". Poor Harry, he had to deal with a girl who was obsessed with her ex-boyfriend and cried at every mention of his name or his death. I liked Cho before Book 5. She went completely bonkers in Book 5 and I'm sure that if it weren't for her emotions, she would have still been with Harry. Too bad she went crazy. I didn't like her and Harry being together anyway. I would much prefer him to choose Ginny! :eyebrows:

aaron016
June 16th, 2005, 3:38 am
Cho wanted to go to someone for comfort and Harry probably isn't the best to give that to her. i think that they were both really as bad as each other, Cho dating Harry just for comfort and Harry dating Cho because she was good looking. They both did pretty jerky things, the one standing out to me the most being when they were both in that stupid bar, Madam puddifoots.They probably would never be able to be a couple, they just dont go together. the most harry and cho would ever be able to go to is friends.

BballPlaya05
June 16th, 2005, 3:52 am
hahaha erroll....all cho wanted was a tissue, and she should have told him that from the beginning...

MadMagic
June 16th, 2005, 4:03 am
I don't think that either of them were without blame in the relationship. Obviously it wasn't meant to last and didn't.
I think all Cho wanted was Cedric back. Since Harry was there with Cedric in the end, she transfered her attention to him. I don't know if there was any genuine affection on her part, but I don't think she was ready either way for a new boyfriend.
As for Harry, I think Cho was just a little boy's crush on a beautiful girl. I don't think he knew her all that well to really like her for anything more than her looks.
When the going got tough, neither one of them were able to put in the time or effort to make their relationship work. So while I don't think they were "jerks" per se, I don't think either one of them were without fault for how things played out in the end.

Quicksilver
June 16th, 2005, 2:29 pm
I didnt really like Cho.

Why go for Harry when she's not over Cedric??!! It just does not make sense. Harry was very nice to her - or atleast, as much as he knew how.

Of course Harry was going to get peeved at her for sticking up for her friend when she sneaked on them. Harry is really big on loyalty - which is why he's in Gryffindor.

I think that this last point is something to look at for Cho's character. Selfish I'd say.

SSJ_Jup81
June 16th, 2005, 4:24 pm
I think that this last point is something to look at for Cho's character. Selfish I'd say.Quite ironic, don't you think? Cho was showing "loyalty" to Marietta. She was trying to justify what Marietta did. I'm not saying it's right, but it was completely logical why she did it. Cho was just being human, and I don't see that as being selfish at all. She was put in a bad situation; loyalty to her friend, and loyalty to her boyfriend.

synyan
June 16th, 2005, 4:31 pm
it's been great to get supports for cho being the jerk, maybe i was reading all the post about the both of them being jerks that i became so confused and disappointed with this thread. yeah, i have to agree CHO is the jerk.

Quicksilver
June 16th, 2005, 5:29 pm
Quite ironic, don't you think? Cho was showing "loyalty" to Marietta. She was trying to justify what Marietta did. I'm not saying it's right, but it was completely logical why she did it. Cho was just being human, and I don't see that as being selfish at all. She was put in a bad situation; loyalty to her friend, and loyalty to her boyfriend.

This just shows the maturity level of Cho. Yes, she was being loyal to her friend at the expense of the others in the DA !!!! She would protect one person who willingly betrayed all the others. She may be a year ahead of Harry but he is far more mature in life situations.

Being human IS selfish! Thinking about others and putting their welfare ahead of our own is closer to divinity.

Silver_Luna
June 16th, 2005, 5:36 pm
I think both were jerks... I mean, Harry was like kind of obsessed with her and Cho was older and didn't had to get involved with him... The kiss wasnt really ment to be...Cho needed a tissue, Harry was the one nearest, well... it could have happened to anyone... Cho over reacted with the kiss and all, way over reacted

tonkscrazy
June 16th, 2005, 10:34 pm
Cho was a jerk . why did she give hope to HARRY and started a relationship she didnt want? she of course is still in love with Cedric ,and he is died , but this doesnt that she have to have a relationship with every guy in the school just to forget him
Cho is the jerk...

Erroll
June 17th, 2005, 1:04 am
Harry didn't want a pin-up model. No way, he's not that superficial. If anything, it's Cho who would want a "pin-up model". Poor Harry, he had to deal with a girl who was obsessed with her ex-boyfriend and cried at every mention of his name or his death. I liked Cho before Book 5. She went completely bonkers in Book 5 and I'm sure that if it weren't for her emotions, she would have still been with Harry. Too bad she went crazy. I didn't like her and Harry being together anyway. I would much prefer him to choose Ginny! :eyebrows:

Harry DID want a pin-up model. He only admired Cho for her looks. He never actually had a real conversation with her. I'm not saying he was bad or evil because of this; he's just a kid. He was just attracted to her because she was good-looking.

dalziel
June 17th, 2005, 2:55 am
I don't think they were jerks! Girls mature a little faster --- Cho misses Cedric and wants a shoulder to cry on etc etc. Harry had a crush on Cho but didn't know how to go about dating! They'll both be fine in time for real romance. After all, not many 15 year-olds start lifetime attachments.

(Little snide thought here. If Cho was aware of Harry's crush on her, she could have been really jerky and accused Harry of bumping off Cedric so that he wasn't competition! A bit drastic, but 15 year-old girls have a very inflated idea of their own importance quite often! LIke I said, snide thought. Please, Cho fans, don't shoot me!)

CaliBrat
June 17th, 2005, 4:33 am
I've simply no idea of who was the jerk. Cho was still mourning over Cedric's death and sort of used Harry as a shoulder to cry on. Harry had a crush on her and was just glad that they were 'together.' I just think that they were both going through hard times and didn't really know what to do. So they were most likely just clueless and confused.

Mione_Malfoy1
June 17th, 2005, 5:16 am
well i always thought cho was being over-sensetive but now that i think of it u hav a point. i dunno now, they wer juss wrong 4 each other. cho juss went 2 the wrong person 4 comfort. she was some1 who WANTED 2 talk bout cedric but harry waznt.

dizzyaffect
July 2nd, 2005, 10:05 pm
both of them, they're little kids and don't know how to act in that type of extreme situation

Kelle
July 3rd, 2005, 12:29 am
Harry was in the wrong for dating Cho just because he thought she was pretty and did not even know her well. Mr. Weasley even told his sons and Harry at the Quidditch World Cup never go on just looks alone after the Veela turned into creatures that threw fire and had beaks. Hopefully, Harry will take this lesson to heart next time around.

However, I also believe Cho was in the wrong, because I think her interest in Harry as a boyfriend conflicted with her desire to hear for herself how Cedric had died from the only person who could tell her. She almost seemed more interested in finding out what took place in the graveyard when Voldemort got his body back than just being with Harry when they were out on their date.

hpfan14
July 3rd, 2005, 12:30 am
Cho she cries to much.Harry should be with somebody else.*coughmecough*:)

SilviaRoggers
October 31st, 2005, 3:16 am
I think it's just because they are not meant to be... they both not suitable to each other...

BOTH OF THEM are the jerks

ComicBookWorm
October 31st, 2005, 3:17 am
They weren't right for each other. If happens all the time.

PorridgeBoy
October 31st, 2005, 3:45 am
Harry was ignorant really, but Cho...man Cho should have left the baggage AT HOME. Good lord.

FireKracKer78
October 31st, 2005, 4:10 am
Harry was clueless to emotions, but that wasn't his fault, he's a boy.

Cho was just a sob story. Ok, it's one thing to cry and be sad and miserable yes, but c'mon; you don't just start rambling on and on about another boy on a date. That's like breaking out pictures of your pet cats wearing sundresses at a baby shower or something.

Ok, not really. But Cho still sucked.

DarkDaysAhead
October 31st, 2005, 4:39 am
I don't think either of them is to blame, actually. Harry was inexperienced and Cho was hurting. Harry, due to his inexperience, was unable to understand his position as her boyfriend. He should have comforted her, yes, but he was new to his entire situation. He, more or less, chose a tough first girlfriend.

I mean, think about it. Your first relationship is always rocky at the beginning because you don't know what and what not to do. Cedric's death made that already awkward situation even worse. Then, there is the fact that Harry has a lot going on. Think of Ginny...she's strong and that's what Harry needs. He can't split his time evenly between saving the world and keeping his girlfriend happy in every way possible. The girl he ends up with (We already know this will be Ginny but keep with me on this one.:lol: ) will have to be strong enough to know this and accept it. She will also have to be strong enough to help him when he needs it and help themselves when he can't be there. Cho just couldn't do that and I don't think she ever will be able to.

As for Cho, she needed to be sensitive to Harry's situation but since she wasn't with him all year or at all before that, she couldn't possibly have understood the severity of it all. She, too, was dealing with her own problems. I don't think it was even a matter of the those two coming together at the wrong time...Really, it was them coming together only to find out neither could ever be what the other wanted.

ImmortalGoddess
October 31st, 2005, 4:43 am
I don't believe either of them where being jerks and I think it's pretty unfair to judge them like that. They both had very different ways of dealing with Cedric’s death and they where incompatible and so they where not right for each other.

Chickenfeed
October 31st, 2005, 5:17 am
I don't think that Harry is a jerk, I just think he is a little slow when it comes to girls.
In the mistletoe scence after the DA meeting I was thinking "is he gonna kiss her or not, come on man, get a move on". And he could have been a little smarter when talking to Cho about Cedric and Hermione, but like I said, he is a little slow.

But I also think Cho wasn't really fair to him. She is just coming out of a relationship (which ended in her boyfriend's death) and she is now coming on pretty strongly to Harry. And gets upset with him for not wanting to talk about her dead boyfriend....
But I don't think she was a jerk either, just very confused.

blue3ski
October 31st, 2005, 6:24 am
I know that a lot of people think that Cho was being self-centered when she got angry at Harry for the whole Cedric thing, yet he was the one who gave her no comfort even though HER BOYFRIEND JUST DIED!!!!!!! All of you out there with boy/girlfriends, I'm sure that you would want some comfort from them if your ex died (before you broke up).
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~* ~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
"I know it must be horrible for you," she said, mopping her eyes on her sleeve again. "Me mentioning Cedric, when you saw him die....I suppose you just want to forget about it...."

Harry didn't say anything to this; it was quite true, but he felt heartless to say it.

(OotP 456) american hardcover version
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~* ~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
So he didn't want to "rebreak" her heart, which is fine, but he didn't even attempt to mend it? In my eyes that's something that he should be doing while his almost-girlfriend is crying her eyes out right in front of him, the poor girl.... :upset:

So why do people say that Cho is the jerk when Harry's the one providing Cho with no emotional comfort at all? Is it wrong for Cho to try to find someone to express her feelings to and someone that she can relate to (in the terms of losing those that you love)? She's only looking for answers, and with problems like the ones she had in OotP, I don't blame her for that.

Well, it can be considered less than tactful of Cho to keep bringing up Cedric in front of Harry. The poor boy was feeling horrible enough for Cedric's death--the experience was the last thing he wanted to discuss. Also, I think wanting to talk about your ex with your current boyfriend is a tad unwise.

Cho clearly was not yet ready for a real relationship yet, as was Harry. She was still emotionally unstable, and he wasn't ready to handle it. The thing is, I don't think either of them were being jerks, at least not intentionally. They just never communicated well.

Hellraiser
October 31st, 2005, 9:24 am
Cho was the JerK! Just her whole attitude and being suspicious about Hermoine! And when she kept mentioning Cedric Harry had a right to be angry! I'm sure if she had seen him die before her she woulnd't be so keen on talking about it either.

Good effort Harry :tu:

Te_Amorangi_15
October 31st, 2005, 9:29 am
Cho was a bit of a jerk, because she was already in love with Cedric, so why did she fo for Harry? *confuzzles me* :lol;

theBadGuy
October 31st, 2005, 12:05 pm
teenagers...raging hormones

guad
October 31st, 2005, 12:25 pm
It is not about jerk or not. It it just that Harry for instance had a crush on Cho, but it was based in nothing, I mean, they hardly had talked properly before. She is cute, nice and Quidditch seeker, enough for a 14-15 year old to have a crush. But when it came to real support and understanding/connecting, there was just no base left.
And please, stop having a go on Cho because she was crying, this shows an emotional range of a teaspoon.

blackmuse
October 31st, 2005, 12:31 pm
i dont think either of them was a jerk...just the completely wrong couple! there was no way this relationship could work unless Cho hadn't been so totally in love with Cedric or Harry had been slightly thick-skinned to not mind his gf talking about her dead ex-bf all the time! I mean thats the no.1 rule for dating : Do not talk about your ex! Especially not on the first date!

Yip
October 31st, 2005, 1:19 pm
Why are people always trying to pilory the characters? So they had a bad date, so what?

mollyw424
October 31st, 2005, 1:32 pm
All of the Cedric stuff is difficult enough, and it would be hard to overcome that in any relationship, but the thing that made me resent Cho the most was her defense of Marietta after she betrayed the DA to Umbridge. This was the most obvious sign that she and Harry had completely different priorities. If there is one quality Harry values, it is loyalty, and Cho failed that test miserably. Marietta was a traitor, and Cho took her side. After that, I lost a lot of respect for Cho. In the end, I think she is not a bad person, just clueless about how Harry felt. Maybe they will be friends eventually.

marspeach
October 31st, 2005, 2:45 pm
Neither was the "jerk." They just weren't right for each other. Harry was not mature enough to understand why Cho was crying all the time and Cho didn't get that Harry didn't want to talk about all that bad stuff with her. When she sided with Marietta it did make her out to be more of a jerk but I still have trouble labelling her as such.

Mickella
October 31st, 2005, 3:17 pm
I know that a lot of people think that Cho was being self-centered when she got angry at Harry for the whole Cedric thing, yet he was the one who gave her no comfort even though HER BOYFRIEND JUST DIED!!!!!!! All of you out there with boy/girlfriends, I'm sure that you would want some comfort from them if your ex died (before you broke up).
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~* ~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
"I know it must be horrible for you," she said, mopping her eyes on her sleeve again. "Me mentioning Cedric, when you saw him die....I suppose you just want to forget about it...."

Harry didn't say anything to this; it was quite true, but he felt heartless to say it.

(OotP 456) american hardcover version
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~* ~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
So he didn't want to "rebreak" her heart, which is fine, but he didn't even attempt to mend it? In my eyes that's something that he should be doing while his almost-girlfriend is crying her eyes out right in front of him, the poor girl.... :upset:

So why do people say that Cho is the jerk when Harry's the one providing Cho with no emotional comfort at all? Is it wrong for Cho to try to find someone to express her feelings to and someone that she can relate to (in the terms of losing those that you love)? She's only looking for answers, and with problems like the ones she had in OotP, I don't blame her for that.
I think that this was a relationship that never should have happened. Harry was attracted to Cho before Cedric died, Cho was attracted to Harry because she associated him with Cedric. They were both immature, and you cannot say that Harry was a jerk, he had no idea. This was his first romance, and the only example of romance that he had grown up with was Vernon and Petunia, so he really had no reference as to what to do, or how to behave in this kind of situation. I do not think that either one of them were "jerks" they were both young and inexperienced, and were both looking for something from the other that they did not recieve.

Harry was a 15 year old boy, that he witnessed more death and horror than any adult should have to suffer. You cannot blame him for not comforting Cho. You cannot blame Cho for breaking down. I would say you have to blame the fact that they were both very young.

All of the Cedric stuff is difficult enough, and it would be hard to overcome that in any relationship, but the thing that made me resent Cho the most was her defense of Marietta after she betrayed the DA to Umbridge. This was the most obvious sign that she and Harry had completely different priorities. If there is one quality Harry values, it is loyalty, and Cho failed that test miserably. Marietta was a traitor, and Cho took her side. After that, I lost a lot of respect for Cho. In the end, I think she is not a bad person, just clueless about how Harry felt. Maybe they will be friends eventually.
Cho was loyal, she was loyal to her friend, I am not sure if they are best friends, but friends none the less. She was closer to Marietta than she was to Harry. She had only started to see Harry, so her loyalties were in the right place in my opinion. I do not agree with what Marietta did, however I would stick by my friend as well. Marietta did not even want to go, she was loyal to Cho by going with her in the first place. I think that one day they will look back and laugh, but I do not think that either one of them is a fault. They are both learning how to become adults, and it is a very hard transition. Emotions always run high, and they both had the death of Cedric in common, not a good way to start a relationship.

PotionA
October 31st, 2005, 3:54 pm
Why are people always trying to pilory the characters? So they had a bad date, so what?

It wasn't just a bad date, it was a bad relationship altogether which had a weak, not to mention a slightly twisted foundation. Harry was attracted to her solely because of her looks and Cho wanted to be with Harry because he was the last person to see Diggory alive. Both of them were at fault here even though I'm siding a bit with Harry here because he's 15, totally inexperienced with the female psyche and doesn't know how to handle situations in the most tactful of way without Hermione trying to hammer every little thing in detail. At first I understood why she mentioned Diggory before she kissed Harry in the Room of Requirement. Her character just sort of started going downhill once she played the Diggory card again and pretended to be jealous of Hermione of all people when she saw Roger Davies snogging his girlfriend. It was a silly way of getting Harry to kiss her or be more expressive and so on.

Then there's the fact that she defended Marietta Edgecombe and then started acting all jealous of Hermione again. I mean what was the point of all that? Plus, why should Harry be the only one comforting her? He's been through much more than she did, surely he needs some comforting also. But no. Cho cried about it and started talking about Diggory, which just came out of the blue during their date. I don't blame her, she was an emotional teenager who didn't know how to get closer to her current boyfriend, but the fact remains that she never understood Harry and was too clingy.

GinnyIsGenius
November 1st, 2005, 12:57 am
I think neither was a bigger jerk than the other.

Harry had no clue on how to deal with Cho and Cho was very emotionally unstable, I mean, they both have to deal in their respective ways with Cedric's death. Cho was :upset: and wanted simpathy and comfort. But Harry deals with things more inwardly, he prefers not to talk about it.

It must have been weird for both to see the other act as they were acting.
Cho definetly wasn't over Cedric's death, understandable. Harry wanted to forget about it, understandable. I have lost very closest people to my heart, I tend to be more like Harry, when people talk about it, I feel kind of uncomfortable yet, but I don't act like it (Try to, at least). Other times, I begin to talk about it, out of nowhere :eyebrows: , and I can feel other people's uneasiness. So it goes but ways.

Wrong timing for both to be together, they chemistry drowned, and here comes the Ginny saga! :p :evil:

HogwartsGirlSP
November 1st, 2005, 1:03 am
Well I personaly think it was Cho...but maybe they were BOTH being jerks....I dont know I mean I know in the HBP that Harry and Ginny wernt being jerks I mean it was for their own good...but Harry and Cho thats a diffrent thing to think about....

Walli9989
November 1st, 2005, 1:56 am
i dont think either of them were jerks. cho was harry's very first girlfriend (if you can call her a gf, they barely went out) and cho wasnt ready to be with the very person who saw her bf die. she couldnt handle it, i mean, would you be able to? i wouldnt. like ginnyisgenius said, it was the wrong timing for both of them. timing is everything

MidnighterWitch
November 1st, 2005, 5:05 am
I have to say Cho. I know that she lost Cedric but she kept talking about Cedric because she was ready too, it was her feelings only. Harry wasn't ready to talk about him yet and she didn't seem to care, she kept nagging at him to to ask him if Cedric mentioned her. Does she really think with the killing curse that Cedric would be able to say his last words?

Now Harry isn't perfect either but I really have to reread OOTP even if I seriously don't want to as it makes me so angry.

Bertha Blotts
November 1st, 2005, 5:25 am
Neither Harry nor Cho was a jerk in terms of what happened between them romantically. Neither of them handled everything perfectly, but their blunders were totally understandable considering their circumstances, and nothing they did was done with malice.

Cho, however, was a big jerk for dragging Marietta along to the DA meeting. Why force someone into something they don't really want to do? She was also a jerk for failing to admit that Marietta had been in the wrong when she snitched on the DA, and for criticizing Hermione when it was all her own and Marietta's fault.

Harry was a jerk for not practicing Occlumency, for being convinced he was right about Sirius being in danger, for not listening to the advice of his friends. All very big errors.

Still, since we know so much about what was going on in Harry's head when he made those errors, I'm inclined to forgive him. But Cho--I just don't know what was up with her. So I think she was the biggest jerk.

hel101
November 1st, 2005, 6:05 am
Just thinking about it.... Cho was a pretty big Jerk. She could've guessed that Harry didn't feel comfortable talking about Cedric, and she pretty much TOLD him to ask her out! She was just playing for some sympathy.

MIND YOU.....

Harry, as I have said, could have been more sympathetic, but he HAD just been through a lot.

They were both jerks for assuming stuff about the other.

greyashowl
November 1st, 2005, 8:46 am
Who was the jerk? LOL. Neither, they are just kids. The relationship played the way it did for a couple of reasons. For Harry, he needed to see beyond the pyhsical, he also needed the experience of dealing with a girl, one on one, in a romantic situation. He gets along fine with Hermione but he needed to be put in a romantic situation to grow as well. For Cho, I think Harry may have been rebound but not a rebound as in Harry was the last person to see Cedric and she wanted to know the details of that. Maybe it was her way of confirming she was important to Cedric. But she also wanted that closeness that you have with a boy/girlfriend.

Both got into the relationship, without really thinking it through and consequences of that occured. Neither can be blamed and it is only with time and experience that you can develop that understanding of what is required in a healthy relationship.

Oxygen
November 1st, 2005, 9:20 am
I think harry was really unsensative, cedric just died, you'd think he would show more symphathy !!

also cho was a bit annoying...

so both were jerks in different ways...

Lilith
November 1st, 2005, 11:51 am
Both of them were I guess- and Cho wasnt exactly new at it *coughcedriccough* but Harry was, so I guess that we cant really blame Harry, I mean he was asking Hermione for advice most of the time XD:p

glugunkwen
November 1st, 2005, 12:27 pm
Why do they have to be jerks? They were just teenagers on a hormone high! A better question might be who was most annoying in book 5 - Cho for being a big crybaby or Harry for being constantly angry. They both exhausted me.

lilyprocks
November 1st, 2005, 1:21 pm
I am not sure about either of them being "jerks", but I do believe that there was fault in their relationship on both sides. Harry was not ready for such a relationship with dealing with both his experience and feelings and with Cho's emotions on the subject.

I think that it was some immaturity on Harry's part, given that he had not had these types of relationships yet (without any horrible events bringing him together with a girl) nor had seen anything of the sort growing up through siblings, etc.

I think that the timing was very wrong for the both of them in their relationship for Harry to be supportive and for Cho to expect Harry to be the highest support she needed for that particular time. I think that they were both emotional wrecks in their own right. Perhaps this was a good learning experience for both of them.

Shelty
November 1st, 2005, 3:40 pm
Also, I think that they found they didn't really "connect." We see this when they went on their date to Hogsmeade. They were enjoying themselves, while they talked about quidditch, but once they exausted that subject, there was an awkward silence. Harry couldn't talk to Cho about things the same way he can talk to Ron and Hermione.

lemon_cherry
November 1st, 2005, 4:31 pm
cho is the bigges jerk ever. what can harry do? he fancies her and so she takes the oppurtunity. but i'm so happy that they ended up fighting in the Ootp and harry finally realizing that he loves ginny

allydee
November 2nd, 2005, 6:39 am
Just my own personal opinion; I don't think either sucks. So okay, Cho might be "flighty" or whatever word is applicable (my english is HORRIBLE) but hey, her boyfriend got killed when he was purely innocent. Major breakdown? I should say so. But then again, after he died and she went to him and he didn't pay enough attention and she got mad? That was a bit unfair. I mean, you couldn't possibly dump somone, chase another, then go back when your boyfriend died. But all in all they're both not jerks .. you know what, I think I'm contradicting myself. o_O

froudianfaery
November 2nd, 2005, 12:21 pm
still, i think cho shouldn't have agreed to go out with harry if she wasnt completely settled with the whole cedric issue. and i suppose harry couldnt exactly comfort her as well because he probably wasnt stable enough about the issue himself. imagine him trying to comfort cho about something that he himself was sad and infuriated about.

allydee
November 2nd, 2005, 12:24 pm
and i suppise harry couldnt exactly comfort her as well because he probably wasnt stable enough about the issue himself. imagine him trying to comfort cho about something that he himself was sad and infuriated about. Um, are you contradicting yourself? How could you be surprised Harry couldn't exactly comfort her because he wasn't stable enough about the issue himself? Of course he couldn't =P

emmjay
November 2nd, 2005, 12:31 pm
i agree harry was a bit of a jerk to mention cedric in front of cho...but u see...

it wasent intentional..was it??

it just sort of came up naturally!

i mean..he had to mention him because he was her boyfriend!

so...
see thats it!

froudianfaery
November 2nd, 2005, 12:34 pm
How could you be surprised i wasnt surprised haha sorry, that was a typo i meant i suppose =P

Freaky
November 2nd, 2005, 12:48 pm
Neither was the jerk.

Cho wasn't yet over Cedric and so wasn't ready for Harry and Harry wasn't really mature enough for a relationship.

If Cho had really wanted to make things work with Harry she wouldn't have been quite so quick to defend her friend for being a sneak but at the time, she had been friends with her for longer.

Maybe if Cho had not gone out with Cedric in the first place, and then Harry behaved the way he did, you could call him a jerk but I think in the circumstances it was all pretty even.

Topazfire25
November 2nd, 2005, 11:12 pm
I don't think that Harry was the jerk. I was kind of confused when it came to Cho however. I don't think she was a jerk, considering that Cedric had died and she was still distraught. I wonder however, if Cho only went out with Harry to find out if Cedric talked about her in the maze/graveyard. If so, I think she could be considered the jerk.