Breastfeeding

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Recently in the UK a programme was on entitled "Extraordinary Breastfeeding". It featured women who breastfeed their children long past the “normal” age to stop – 2, 4 and even 8 in one case. It also covered issues such as breastfeeding in public. The children were mostly fed on demand, and one couple featured had had a night out by themselves only twice since the birth of their twins a little over two years ago due to them being breastfed. They decided to wean the twins off the breast during the programme though, and although it caused some tantrums at first, they eventually settled down, and all they seemed to miss was the closeness they shared with their mother whilst feeding.

One couple had been trying to adopt a baby for three years, and the mother had continued to breastfeed their son so that she could breastfeed the new baby. Her son was 4 by the time the adoption process was completed and the new baby refused the breast entirely, although it wasn’t for lack of trying on the mother’s part. I thought it was a bit unrealistic for the mother to expect an 18-month-old child to take to the breast of a stranger right away though.

My Opinion: Personally, I’m all for breastfeeding and I don’t see why mothers shouldn’t be able to do it in public, but I don’t agree with doing for as long as the mothers featured in the programme do. Most doctors recommend breastfeeding until the child is at least 6 months, but should be continued until the child is a year old, and I personally don’t think that the child actually needs the milk after that. After all, a child is getting nutrition from solid food at this point, and would usually only get a formula feed once or twice a day. I do believe that breastfeeding beyond this point is more about comfort than anything else, and this can easily be given with cuddles and affection. I also believe a mother needs her freedom, a chance to go out and enjoy herself every once in a while, or even just relax in a bubblebath, and that’s hardly practical if you have a child demanding access to your breasts all the time. Not to mention the fact that she has to deal with all the night feeds!!

The Questions:

1. Do you/would you breastfeed your child?

2. Do you think it’s fair to the mother to breastfeed for an extended period of time?

3. When do you think is the right time to wean a child off the breast?

4. Do you think that older children actually need the breast milk, or do you think it’s more of a comfort thing?

5a. Do you think mothers should be allowed to breastfeed in public?

5b. If you answered no to question 5a, can you give your reasons why it shouldn’t be allowed?

5c. If you answered yes to question 5a, why do you think others don’t agree with it?

6. What do you think of shops/restaurants that have no feeding room and instead tell the mother to feed the child in the ladies toilets?

1. Do you/would you breastfeed your child?

Yes I did. The older was 3 1/2 and the younger was 2.
2. Do you think it’s fair to the mother to breastfeed for an extended period of time?

Yes I do...there are health bennifits for both child and mother. There is extreem casses of brest cancer in my family. Brest feeding is bennificial for the mom who has cancer in her family.

3. When do you think is the right time to wean a child off the breast?

When the child and mom are ready, not before that. Stopping brest feeding can trigger post-pardum in a mother if she is not ready to stop.
4. Do you think that older children actually need the breast milk, or do you think it’s more of a comfort thing?

My first couldn't tollerate regular milk over an extended time. On the thrid day of drinking regular milk her would get violently ill. so fo me there was a need to keep the kid healthy.

5a. Do you think mothers should be allowed to breastfeed in public?

I do think for infants and babies yes...but for toddlers...you can always freeze and carry the bottle. Most public do frown on public feedings of older babies.
5b. If you answered no to question 5a, can you give your reasons why it shouldn’t be allowed?

5c. If you answered yes to question 5a, why do you think others don’t agree with it?

6. What do you think of shops/restaurants that have no feeding room and instead tell the mother to feed the child in the ladies toilets?

I find it horrible...Would you like to eat in the toilet? I think not. There should be a spot for a mom and baby to feed and not a toilet.

Questions:

1. Do you/would you breastfeed your child?
Well, seeing as I'm a guy, I wouldn't because I physically can't. On the other hand, I would really encourage my future children's mother to do it. I think it's really healthy for the child to be breast fed, it's nature's way of protecting the little baby's body from germs and disease.

2. Do you think it’s fair to the mother to breastfeed for an extended period of time?
Only if it starts being uncomfortable for her. I wouldn't know, the last time I had contact with a woman breast feeding was when my mom had my sister, and I was 6 at the time. i think a woman should be able to go out at night and enjoy herself.

3. When do you think is the right time to wean a child off the breast?
Between 8 months and a year. Because usually, by that time they can have solid food and cow milk and not throw up.

4. Do you think that older children actually need the breast milk, or do you think it’s more of a comfort thing?
I don't think they need it, it's not like it's all the nourishment they get. Breast milk (or formula) is all a baby gets, older children can live without it and be perfectly healthy. And I don't see why it would be a comfort thing.

5a. Do you think mothers should be allowed to breastfeed in public?
Of course it's a natural process every mother has to go through. Even if she doesn't breastfeed her child, she'll have milk inside her breasts, and that's completely natural. I think she might as well use it.

5b. If you answered no to question 5a, can you give your reasons why it shouldn’t be allowed?

5c. If you answered yes to question 5a, why do you think others don’t agree with it?
Because it's a natural process vaguely related to sex. I think this makes it a taboo in people's heads.

6. What do you think of shops/restaurants that have no feeding room and instead tell the mother to feed the child in the ladies toilets?
I think they're out of their minds. After all, it's not like women breastfeeding their babies are doing anything dirty or offensive.

1. Do you/would you breastfeed your child?

If I have children, yes, I would breastfeed.

2. Do you think it’s fair to the mother to breastfeed for an extended period of time?

Depends on how long. I think 6 months is long enough. It is not so much a matter of what is fair to the mother but what is healthier for the baby.


3. When do you think is the right time to wean a child off the breast?

When he or she starts growing teeth.

4. Do you think that older children actually need the breast milk, or do you think it’s more of a comfort thing?

No, I don't think older children need breastmilk. In my culture (Italian) some women breastfeed until the child is 5! I don't see how it helps them in any way though.

5a. Do you think mothers should be allowed to breastfeed in public?

I have have to say I am bothered by women who breastfeed in public.

5b. If you answered no to question 5a, can you give your reasons why it shouldn’t be allowed?

To me, it is like walking around with your breasts exposed. It is simply not decent. You say it is natural, well, going to the bathroom is natural, and we don't do that in public! Wearing clothes isn't natural, yet we do that.

5c. If you answered yes to question 5a, why do you think others don’t agree with it?

6. What do you think of shops/restaurants that have no feeding room and instead tell the mother to feed the child in the ladies toilets?

Well, that's sad, especially if there's a long wait for the toilet, but I suppose not all restaurants or shops have the money to build a separate feeding room.

1. Do you/would you breastfeed your child?

I don't know, I'm still a bit too young to make such a decision. However, I've always felt more comfortable with the idea of bottle feeding. That and it allows the father to help which benefits both parents.

2. Do you think it’s fair to the mother to breastfeed for an extended period of time?

It depends. As Emma pointed out, there are benefits. However, the idea of an 8 year old breastfeeding is a bit strange. After all, the child would be in about 3rd grade by then.

3. When do you think is the right time to wean a child off the breast?

It all depends upon the situation as every one is different.

4. Do you think that older children actually need the breast milk, or do you think it’s more of a comfort thing?

Again, it depends, something Emma's post made clear.

5a. Do you think mothers should be allowed to breastfeed in public?

I don't know really...it's a strange sight but only because of everything that comes along with it. Girls are taught to cover up when they're young and men...well, we know what 3/4 of the world's men think.:rolleyes:

:sigh: I want to say no but after reading Emma's post, I'd have to say "yes, but restricted". What I mean is, it may not be wise for women to be allowed to run around with their breats hanging out everywhere they go. But, let me make this very clear-- I am not strictly for or against this, just thinking "out loud" online.:lol:

5b. If you answered no to question 5a, can you give your reasons why it shouldn’t be allowed?

:shrug: It makes people feel uncomfortable so...I don't know...

5c. If you answered yes to question 5a, why do you think others don’t agree with it?

...but, then again, smoking upsets people as well...:huh:

6. What do you think of shops/restaurants that have no feeding room and instead tell the mother to feed the child in the ladies toilets?

It's kind of hard for every shop in the country to have a feeding room as this is a relatively new thing people have to deal with...but I'm not so sure it's right that they have to feed their child standing next to a toilet...:huh:

1. Do you/would you breastfeed your child?
Yeah no reason not to.

2. Do you think it’s fair to the mother to breastfeed for an extended period of time?
Well it's their choice, I don't see why they should complain if they chose to keep breastfeeding after the recommended age.

3. When do you think is the right time to wean a child off the breast?
Doctors recommend 6-12 months. However I know that I was breast fed untill about 2 years old because I had a lot of allergies and couldn't take solid food.

4. Do you think that older children actually need the breast milk, or do you think it’s more of a comfort thing?
In my case, I did. But normally, no they don't need breast milk once they can get nutrition from other sources.

5a. Do you think mothers should be allowed to breastfeed in public?
Yes, it's perfectly natural. Most women I've seen breast feed throw a towel or blanket or something over themselves so it's not like anyone gets a free peep show anyway.

5c. If you answered yes to question 5a, why do you think others don’t agree with it? I think mostly it's people getting all upset over exposed breasts. That's the only reason I can think of.


6. What do you think of shops/restaurants that have no feeding room and instead tell the mother to feed the child in the ladies toilets?
I think that's uncalled for. Provided the mother isn't flashing her breasts around and makes a reasonable effort to stay out of people's way she should breast feed wherever is most comfortable.

1. Do you/would you breastfeed your child? YES!

2. Do you think it’s fair to the mother to breastfeed for an extended period of time? ... yes... why wouldn't it be?

3. When do you think is the right time to wean a child off the breast? My nephew is a year and three weeks and my sister says she's kinda starting to "dry up" so I don't think you have to worry about it... let nature take its course, it'll let you know.

4. Do you think that older children actually need the breast milk, or do you think it’s more of a comfort thing? No, older children do not need breast milk. :lol:

5a. Do you think mothers should be allowed to breastfeed in public? Idk why they would want to... umm.. I guess? if they cover themselves up??

5b. If you answered no to question 5a, can you give your reasons why it shouldn’t be allowed? I didn't answer no but I guess the reason would be that it's kinda gross to have something sucking on you in front of a crowd of people... why would you want to do that?

5c. If you answered yes to question 5a, why do you think others don’t agree with it? *refer to 5b

6. What do you think of shops/restaurants that have no feeding room and instead tell the mother to feed the child in the ladies toilets? GROSS... umm idk think of something else to tell them... like go to your car or something... or maybe pump your milk before hand and then put it in a bottle. Be prepared.

1. Do you/would you breastfeed your child?
I hope to be able to breastfeed my children when I have them, although for how long I don't know, I suppose it will depend on the circumstances. I would imagine that at least for the first few weeks I would be able to stay at home, and after that I think that I would be willing to use a breast pump. To me it just seems exhausting to have to be the one to get up with the baby every few hours; I don't know much about nipple confusion or the likelihood that I would be able to continue to breastfeed after using a bottle, but I like the idea of being able to share the feedings on a number of different levels.

4. Do you think that older children actually need the breast milk, or do you think it’s more of a comfort thing?
I would imagine that most of them don't depending on what you consider older, I wouldn't think that children who were 4 or 5 would actually need breast milk (although to be perfectly honest my knowledge of such things is very limited).

5a. Do you think mothers should be allowed to breastfeed in public?
I don't have a problem with it. I think that if I were to do it that I would likely use some of those nifty things that drapes over your front. But I mean if the baby has to eat and you don't have any other way to feed it at the moment (or breastfeeding is the only way that you are feeding the baby), then it has to eat. I think it is probably more considerate to breastfeed in public than to allow the baby to continue to cry because it is hungry, as people can look away if they have a problem with it and go about their business.


6. What do you think of shops/restaurants that have no feeding room and instead tell the mother to feed the child in the ladies toilets? I don't think that it is realistic to expect all places to have a space for mothers to breastfeed. I mean if a place has a roomy bathroom with couches and it is clean, I might be willing to comply. If people are complaining to the management I can understand their desire to comply with the wishes of their customers, but if their only option is sitting in a stall to breastfeed, well, I think that is kind of gross.

1. Do you/would you breast-feed your child?
After 20 years with my families daycare I don't plan to have any children of my own, I feel like I have had mine & some. If I did then I would breast-feed, yes.

2. Do you think it’s fair to the mother to breast-feed for an extended period of time?
We had a lot of mothers that came on their lunch hours to breast-feed their children. For the hours they weren't able, they used the breast pump for bottle feedings later on.

3. When do you think is the right time to wean a child off the breast?
I think it's between the mother & child. I believe its different for everyone.

4. Do you think that older children actually need the breast milk, or do you think it’s more of a comfort thing?
Some children who suffer from allergies need the natural benefit of their own mothers milk. If you think about regular cow milk, it was made by nature to support a larger animal then humans. I've heard its a bit harsh on a child as well as some adults. We've had mothers wean their older children using both formula & goats milk. That worked well.

5a. Do you think mothers should be allowed to breast-feed in public?
I don't mind so much when discretion is used with a baby blanket, etc. but honestly it's not something I want to see & I wouldn't force anyone else to if I was in that position.

6. What do you think of shops/restaurants that have no feeding room and instead tell the mother to feed the child in the ladies toilets?
I think mothers should come prepared with bottles for when out in public. I think mothers should not only have their babies used to the breast, but also bottles, as it allows mum to take a break too now & again!

1. Do you/would you breastfeed your child?

Yes, I breastfed both of mine, one for 16 months, one for over 2 years.

2. Do you think it’s fair to the mother to breastfeed for an extended period of time?

Yes, since it is usually the mother's choice to do that. I think it's useful to remember that doctor's advice on these issues isn't definitive - they used to say babies only needed breastmilk until 6 months, so at that time people would have felt justified in saying it's wrong to feed for longer. Now the 'official' advice is that mums should feed for a year, so the goalpost is moved. Who is to say that advice won't change yet again to say that breastmilk should be supplied until 18 months or two years? The only important age limit is the one which fits any particular baby and mum.

3. When do you think is the right time to wean a child off the breast?

When both baby and mum are ready.

4. Do you think that older children actually need the breast milk, or do you think it’s more of a comfort thing?

I think it can be both - some kids have a milk allergy, so what better for them than the milk made specifically for them? And the comfort part can be pretty important for a young child too.

5a. Do you think mothers should be allowed to breastfeed in public?

Absolutely yes, and what I find offensive is the backward attitude that breasts can only have a sexual connotation and should therefore be hidden. Breastfeeding is as old as humans themselves, and it is ridiculous that we have twisted it into something taboo and shameful.

5c. If you answered yes to question 5a, why do you think others don’t agree with it?

Again, it's simply because society has turned bodies into sexual images, and most people can only think in sexual terms about breasts. Someone earlier compared the act of public breastfeeding to doing the toilet in public, which is a fairly offensive comparison actually. Feeding your baby is hardly akin to emptying your bladder, and it just astonishes me that anyone can feel offended by someone providing nourishment to a baby. When breastfeeding, you'd usually have to look really hard to be able to see anything, and if you are worried of catching a glimpse of flesh, then don't look! There are plenty of other sights surrounding you. What gets people's backs up is not the act of someone breastfeeding, but the feelings it stirs within them due to their own connotations betweens breasts and sex. The problem lies with the onlooker's skewed perception of bodies, not with the mum feeding her baby.

6. What do you think of shops/restaurants that have no feeding room and instead tell the mother to feed the child in the ladies toilets?

I think they shouldn't even have to have a feeding room, a mum should be able to sit anywhere and feed her baby. Here in Scotland they recently passed a law which enshrines a woman's right to feed her baby wherever she needs to, and anyone interfering with that right can be brought to account. It's high time we got back to realising that breastfeeding is a clean healthy natural act which benefits mum and baby, and got rid of the bizarre attitude towards this most fundamental use of breasts!

1. Do you/would you breastfeed your child?
I'm still a bit young to be thinking about how I will feed my children but, yes I think if I ever did have kids, I would want to breastfeed them.

2. Do you think it’s fair to the mother to breastfeed for an extended period of time?
Yes, it's up to the mother to decide when to stop breastfeeding her child. Thoguh when the kid gets to about 6-ish and they are still being breastfed, they would start getting a bit embarrassed about it, wouldn't they? When they realise that their friends aren't still breastfed?

3. When do you think is the right time to wean a child off the breast?
I think between six to eight months is a suitable age. But I don't know much about babies, that's just my guess.

4. Do you think that older children actually need the breast milk, or do you think it’s more of a comfort thing?
In older kids, it would be a comfort thing. They don't need to be breastfed, tonnes of kids have never had brest milk and have turned out ok. But having breast milk does have its benefits.

5a. Do you think mothers should be allowed to breastfeed in public?
Yes, yes they should.

5c. If you answered yes to question 5a, why do you think others don’t agree with it?
Maybe because a woman's breasts are something that most people think should generally be covered up. So when a woman whips it out in public, they mind find it a little uncomforatable. I can understand that.

6. What do you think of shops/restaurants that have no feeding room and instead tell the mother to feed the child in the ladies toilets?
A toilet? That's not cool. I know I wouldn't like that if I was a Mum. Mothers should be allowed to feed their baby in restaurant itself. Like Vasheba said, as long as she isn't flashing it around to the world, I think it should be allowed. Or they could at least provide a comfortable space for the mother to feed her child. It's a natuaral life process, why does it need to be hidden as if it is something offensive?

1. Do you/would you breastfeed your child?
I breast-fed both of my boys. My older son had some health problems (very long story...owl me if you really want details) and was unable to actually suckle, so I pumped and bottle-fed him. We then found out that he was allergic to my milk as well as most formulas. We ended up putting him on an enzymatically pre-digested protien formula until he was a year old.
My younger son was already needing more than I could give by the time he was 6 weeks old, so we went totally to the bottle and formula.
At least they both got the immune system-boosting benefits from having had breast milk for the first several weeks of their lives.

2. Do you think it’s fair to the mother to breastfeed for an extended period of time?
It's an individual decision. Mom can decide if she wants to do it or not. I've met several women who have been breast-feeding toddlers -- a little unnerving to watch a 3-year-old walk over to mom and yank up her shirt, though.....

3. When do you think is the right time to wean a child off the breast?
Due to my having to go back to work (too far away to jet back for lunchtime feeds) and several other considerations (see #1) I weaned both of mine at about 8 weeks. I wish I could have continued until around 6 months or so - I really enjoyed the one-on-one time with my boys. To me, it was the contact more than the milk, itself, that made breastfeeding better than the bottle.
It was also a lot handier than going to the kitchen, mixing formula, warming up the bottle, and washing everything afterwards -- breast milk is always with you, always ready, always the right temperature, and doesn't dirty any kitchenware!!

4. Do you think that older children actually need the breast milk, or do you think it’s more of a comfort thing?
No they don't (except with conditions where 'normal' food disagrees with the child's digestive system, of course). Comfort for the child or the mom? Both I suppose.... I've seen women who try to carry on for a lot longer than the child seems willing. A mom who tries to force her walking/talking child to the breast is a sad sight.

5a. Do you think mothers should be allowed to breastfeed in public?
Of course!! I've seen (and done) it lots of times. We don't want to "flash" our breasts to the crowd any more than most of them want to see them. Most of us get very adept at discretly covering ourselves when in public.

5c. If you answered yes to question 5a, why do you think others don’t agree with it?
As FGG said -- it's a vaguely sexual activity. Especially in this age where there are alternatives like pumping and using the bottle, or just using formula to begin with. Some people seem to think that it's crass that a woman would even consider feeding her child that way in public.

6. What do you think of shops/restaurants that have no feeding room and instead tell the mother to feed the child in the ladies toilets?
If a place where I was spending my money TOLD me that I could only feed my child in the toilet, they would loose not only my patronage, but that of as many people as I could persuade!!

One note that I would like to state on the feeding rooms....I would like to see moms comfortable with anywhere to feed their babies....As some other posts stated people think that this is something that is horrible to see....well it is old as the hills...and natural. Babies don't think where they are when they are hungry...they are just hungry and want to eat. At least some shops could have a place other than a rest room (toilet) for a mom that wanted privacy to be comfortable to go to. Even if it is only a chair in a stock room or even a spot in an office if they are in a restarant...restarant do not have nice places to breast feed an infant. They usually suggest the rest room.

I belonged to La Leache League for years with my 2....They are a great support group, and I would suggest any mom to at least try one meeting in their area
La Leche League International: Breastfeeding Information and Support (http://www.lalecheleague.org/)

1. Do you/would you breastfeed your child?

I would. It is nothing to be embarrased about, and the baby really does need it.

3. When do you think is the right time to wean a child off the breast?

Um... at the age of 12 or 13 months, maybe 14. (you know, I was going to type years instead of months...can you IMAGINE???

4. Do you think that older children actually need the breast milk, or do you think it’s more of a comfort thing?

Definately a comfort thing...I mean, they ARE eating solid food, they get their nutrition from that, don't they?

5a. Do you think mothers should be allowed to breastfeed in public?

Yeah, of course, why not?

5c. If you answered yes to question 5a, why do you think others don’t agree with it?
I don't know. Maybe they think men will be embarrased about it...or maybe even the mothers themselves...why should they care about that if the mothers themselves don't mind? And yeah, it is considered a vaguely sexual thing, but I don't see why...baby is hungry, baby is fed. How is that remotedly sexual?

b]6. What do you think of shops/restaurants that have no feeding room and instead tell the mother to feed the child in the ladies toilets?[/b]

I think its pathetic and extremely unsympathetic. And most of the time, ladies toilets stink and a stinky toilet is no place to take a very young baby, now is it?

I mean, they don't even have to build this plush, elaborate feeding room! Just a small room with a chair and a door...maybe even a shelf...not some sort of five-star hotel room or anything...

6. What do you think of shops/restaurants that have no feeding room and instead tell the mother to feed the child in the ladies toilets?

I think they shouldn't even have to have a feeding room, a mum should be able to sit anywhere and feed her baby. Here in Scotland they recently passed a law which enshrines a woman's right to feed her baby wherever she needs to, and anyone interfering with that right can be brought to account.

Exactly. I can't actually think of anywhere I've been which had feeding rooms (not that I've looked). Most feeding mothers I know who have had to feed a kid in public do so discreetly where ever they are.

1. Do you/would you breastfeed your child?
I don't know. Perhaps for the first time but I would change to bottle as soon as possible. Maybe after a few months. 4-5 or so.

2. Do you think it’s fair to the mother to breastfeed for an extended period of time?
Fair to the mother but not for the child. I think most mothers breastfeed for longer time more than a year because they are too lazy to feed otherwise. And I doubt it's healthy for children to be feeded so long. Too big bound between mother and child.

3. When do you think is the right time to wean a child off the breast?
The best time would be for me 1 year at the latest.

4. Do you think that older children actually need the breast milk, or do you think it’s more of a comfort thing?
It's only a comfort thing. They don't need it and it's unnatural.

5a. Do you think mothers should be allowed to breastfeed in public?
They might allow it. But I will look away. I don't like it when mothers feed there children in my presense. No offense, it's just my opinion.

6. What do you think of shops/restaurants that have no feeding room and instead tell the mother to feed the child in the ladies toilets?
I would suggest them to use the bottle in restaurant or go to an empty room. It must not be the toilet. There might be several people who don't want to see it, might it be due to personal reasons or religious reasons.

Here are some health benefits of breastfeeding (http://www.askdrsears.com/html/2/T020300.asp) for those who might be doubters. Also, the babies aren't the only ones who benefit from breastfeeding: Here are some benefits of breastfeeding for mothers (http://www.askdrsears.com/html/2/T020700.asp).

Also, as stated by the American Academy of Pediatrics (http://www.aap.org/healthtopics/breastfeeding.cfm):Pediatricians and parents should be aware that exclusive breastfeeding is sufficient to support optimal growth and development for approximately the first 6 months of life and provides continuing protection against diarrhea and respiratory tract infection. Breastfeeding should be continued for at least the first year of life and beyond for as long as mutually desired by mother and child.Furthermore, AAP says that There is no upper limit to the duration of breastfeeding and no evidence of psychologic or developmental harm from breastfeeding into the third year of life or longer. There should be less attention on the length of time children are breastfed. As has been said, I think the main reason people get concerned is because breasts are usually associated with sex. What many don't realize is that sex is not on the forefront of everyone's minds.

Also, as a side note, it's recommended that infants weaned before 12 months of age should not receive cow's milk but should receive iron-fortified infant formula.

Also, it's not like mothers that breast feed their babies run around with bare breasts. At least where I live, breastfeeding is done discreetly, anywhere it's needed. But then again, latin americans are very open mined about things like physical contact and sex-related things.

1. Do you/would you breastfeed your child?
I did breastfeed both of my children. I think for all those that are comfortable and desire to feed their babies in a way that God and nature intended, that breast feeding should at least be attempted. If however, you are not comfortable, by all means don't feel the least bit guilty about not. The emotional trauma you put yourself through won't be in the best interest of you and your child, if you feel you must breast feed and would rather not. Many a healthy children were not breast fed.

2. Do you think it’s fair to the mother to breastfeed for an extended period of time? I personally, think it is not ethical. However that could just be my cultural upbringing. I know that there is no nutritional benefit to feeding mother's milk past 24 months. By that time even bottle fed babies are taken off whole milk usually.
As to being "fair to the mother", well, she is in complete control of the situation and therefor has a say in the stopping of it. Fairness is not a partner to it, I actually think it is selfish of a mother to be feeding past a reasonable amount of time.

3. When do you think is the right time to wean a child off the breast?
I think it is actually a decision that comes naturally to those keeping in tune with their bodies and their babies. I for one, knew that it was time by the signals and circumstances that occured. The feeding process does windel down naturally once solid foods are introduced into the diet. And in my experience the last feeding to go is usually the night time one just before bed.
On a whole I would say no longer than 24 months, personally both myself and my children were done by the time they hit 13 months old.

4. Do you think that older children actually need the breast milk, or do you think it’s more of a comfort thing?
They do not need the breast milk any more than they need the formula for bottle fed babies past a certain age. The nuturtional value is just not there. I can understand the comfort aspect. It was a special time to be holding my babies and feeding them from my body. And when we finished and we had had our last bed time feeding, I missed that, but we went on, and the comfort aspect was met in differing ways at that point.

5a. Do you think mothers should be allowed to breastfeed in public?
Absolutely! But it should be done with respect to those around us. In the state of Oregon, where I live, while not against the law, breast feeding in public was not made legal until a few years ago. I actually laughed at that. But as long as a mother is being aware and keeping herself covered up rather than hanging out for the world to see, public feeding is just fine. After all the rest of us eat in public, and bottle fed babies are fed in public, why should mother's who feed their baby the best possible food be exciled?

5b. If you answered no to question 5a, can you give your reasons why it shouldn’t be allowed? N/A

5c. If you answered yes to question 5a, why do you think others don’t agree with it?
I think that some people are just uncomfortable about the possible naked breast exposure. But if a woman knows what she is doing, and is prepared to be discreet, there really isn't a problem. The problem only comes from those drawing attention to it and making a big deal out of it. It really drives me crazy when poeple say that it shouldn't be allowed and try to make it out to be a dirty, discusting event.

6. What do you think of shops/restaurants that have no feeding room and instead tell the mother to feed the child in the ladies toilets?
Oh, I would simply tell them...."please go take your meal into the restroom and eat there, and then come and tell me that I should feed my innocent baby in there." That is a place for human waste, not a place to eat, and that includes feeding babies.


One more note...as to the extended period of breast feeding inturupting a nursing mother's night time sleep...something is definately not right with that. Both of my babies, whom as I said were breast fed, were both sleeping thru the night without a feeding before 4 months of age. There is no reason to have a night time feeding especially at an older age. What needs to happen there is that the parents need to help the child get themselves back to sleep when they wake up in the middle of the night. A breast is not necessary for that.

1. Do you/would you breastfeed your child?

Yes.

2. Do you think it’s fair to the mother to breastfeed for an extended period of time?

Depends on what an extended period of time is. 8 years old? Thats unusual and I can't imagine very healthy for the child. I think that it is healthy for it to stop by an age where a child would be able to remember being breast fed.

3. When do you think is the right time to wean a child off the breast?

Depends on the child. I Find kind of weird that there is this culture to wean a child off breastmilk and then fill them with formula, goats milk and then cows milk. I would rather my child had breast milk until he/ she was able to get all of the nutrients from solids, whatever age that is (haven't had children)

4. Do you think that older children actually need the breast milk, or do you think it’s more of a comfort thing?

Comfort, I expect.

5a. Do you think mothers should be allowed to breastfeed in public?

Yes! I can't stand that there are people who complain about it!

5b. If you answered no to question 5a, can you give your reasons why it shouldn’t be allowed?
5c. If you answered yes to question 5a, why do you think others don’t agree with it?

I really don't know, probably just prudish attitutes about our bodies, which they are welcome to I suppose.

6. What do you think of shops/restaurants that have no feeding room and instead tell the mother to feed the child in the ladies toilets?

Horrific, toilets are not the place to eat in! I would rather go out onto the street to do it!

I would have loved to have breast feed my daughter, but I can never tell when I will need medicine, sometimes quite powerful so I put her straight onto formula. As these things can get into your milk, they were even telling the other mothers on the ward to not eat really spicey foods as this could affect the taste of the milk.

what I ate didn't effect my older...but with the younger, I couldn't to the Mexican foods...she would refuse to nurse.

CNN.com - Study: Breast-feeding lowers cancer risk - July 18, 2002 (http://www.cnn.com/2002/HEALTH/conditions/07/18/breast.feeding.cancer/index.html)

this topic is so fraught with emotive elements.

it's one of the areas where people's feelings influence greatly how they read research and facts. it is very easy to make a statement that sounds 'factual' which is in fact just emotionally satisfying.

i used to think quite differently than i do now, because of a parenting teaching that i was under. i know lots of the arguments people have against how i now parent, because i used to think them myself.

the basics of the issue affect how you then see the ongoing tangents.

if you believe that there is a hierarchy of needs and the parents come first (as being 'the boss so therefore at the top') then you will see it as your job and responsibility to ensure your child is moulded into a certain style/ timeframe etc, and that they don't affect your lifestyle too much.

if you believe that a child's needs are always first then you will make different decisions.

i now believe that it's a balance - much like a dance - of needs where the stronger should look out for the weaker, but not to the detriment of themselves in the long term.

so that informs how i will answer these questions.

The Questions:

1. Do you/would you breastfeed your child?
yes. there are situations where a mother genuinely can't b/feed, and this needs to be treated with sensitivity. she shouldn't feel guilty (ha! parents will always find ways to feel guilty lol).
however low supply etc etc are more commonly due to bad advice and lack of support than true physiological problems. i suffered this with my first and to a lesser degree the second. now with the third i have had NO problems, primarily coming from a change of mindset.


2. Do you think it’s fair to the mother to breastfeed for an extended period of time?
this question is a bookmark to the mindset behind the asking.
see, from my standpoint it's an odd thing to ask.
it also depends on what you consider 'extended' to mean.

3. When do you think is the right time to wean a child off the breast?
the World Health Organization now recommends a general guideline of 2 years minimum - and that's not for 3rd world countries! that's for human babies generally.
i endorse this myself, but it does point to the problems with the authorities giving some date.
like people here have pointed out, they used to say 6 months. then a year. some people say 2 years. some say 6 weeks.
there will always be some doctor who makes a statement based not on research, but on their own (mainly culturally influenced) attitudes to the issue.

there is lots of info and data on the breastfeeding pages at www.kellymom.com

4. Do you think that older children actually need the breast milk, or do you think it’s more of a comfort thing?
2 things here.
1. what is 'older'? is it when they get teeth? or is it when they speak? walk? can hold their head unaided?
2. is comfort a bad thing? or not a need?

obviously my answer here will be that the many advantages of the breastmilk AND the breastfeeding are still beneficial for children physically and emotionally into toddlerhood (this is assuming there are not negative emotional issues being played out here - and before you jump on that remember that it is just as possible for a parent to be emotionally manipulative and controlling in the use of a bottle/schedule as it is in b/feeding)

5a. Do you think mothers should be allowed to breastfeed in public?
absolutely YES!
(and a deep sigh that the question needs to be asked) (oh, that deep sigh is not in response to the people who have answered differently here but towards the cultural mores that have influenced them to feel so negatively towards it)

5b. If you answered no to question 5a, can you give your reasons why it shouldn’t be allowed?

5c. If you answered yes to question 5a, why do you think others don’t agree with it?
i saw this fantastic t-shirt one day, and wish i could get one. it said
"they're not just for selling beer, you know"
it makes me sad that people have been conditioned that it's ok to have billboards around with breasts selling anything from fashion to cars, but it's not ok to nourish and comfort an infant without hiding away as if it's a shameful act.


6. What do you think of shops/restaurants that have no feeding room and instead tell the mother to feed the child in the ladies toilets?
in principle i don't think they should be needed, however i think they are helpful when there is a baby who is very curious about their surroundings and gets easily distracted.
also in the early days of establishing attachment etc it's harder to be 'discreet' and not feel self conscious about lack of finesse.


i have been asked to feed in a toilet once (and this was with a fairly tiny baby too - i had my back to the room and was using a muslin cloth to cover anything that may have accidently been shown. it was the *fact* of it that led to me being asked.

with my now 2 1/2 year old he gets fed wherever, but very discreetly and most people wouldn't know he's not just having a cuddle. and he doesn't walk over and 'yank up my shirt'. he usually tilts his head to the side and quietly says 'mamma mmmms peez?'. and sometimes the answer is 'not now'. it is quite possible to be respectful and gracious with this. :)

there are a lot of statements made like
"there are no nutritional benefits past this age" "when they have solids they don't need it" "there is no reason for a child past x age to need breastmilk" etc etc.
the research actually shows otherwise. there are lots of benefits and nutrition still gained after solids are introduced. and even one small feed a day is still giving the child like a super powered multi vitamin/mineral pill in a really easily ingested form.

the other very common misconception is that of early night time weaning. the feed in the early hours is one of the things that can help many mothers maintain their milk supply. we have a 'side cart' arrangement and my bub would latch on, feed roll over and go back to sleep and i would just surface enough to be aware it was happening and then back to blissfull slumbers i'd go.
(btw. he is sleeping through the night just fine in his own room now and my husband and i still have a marriage before anyone comments on that. there are no rods on my back here......)

please note that i am not flaming anyone here and understand a lot of the views expressed as i used to think in a similar way.

1. Do you/would you breastfeed your child?
I breastfed both of them.

2. Do you think it’s fair to the mother to breastfeed for an extended period of time?
Surely that's up to the mother to decide!

3. When do you think is the right time to wean a child off the breast?
When the child is ready. Breastfeeding for at least a year has proven benefits. Up to 2 is ok. Beyond that, in certain circumstances, such as if the child is allergic to cows milk, is ok too. But breastfeeding a five year old is going a bit too far.

4. Do you think that older children actually need the breast milk, or do you think it’s more of a comfort thing?
It's certainly comforting. But why change from natural human milk to the milk of another species when the child reaches a certain age? We are brought up to think that all kids need lots of cows milk. Why not breast milk, which is even better for them, since it is designed for humans, not calves!

5a. Do you think mothers should be allowed to breastfeed in public?
Certainly.

5b. If you answered no to question 5a, can you give your reasons why it shouldn’t be allowed?
The only real reason for not feeding in public is the focus on the sexual aspect of breasts and general prudishness. There is nothing wrong with a glimpse of breast in public - you see much more on any beach. If you don't want to see it, don't look!

5c. If you answered yes to question 5a, why do you think others don’t agree with it?
People have this stupid idea that breasts are for male entertainment instead of nourishing children. Of course they have a sexual function too, but this should not prevent them being seen as a healthy, normal, and natural source of food for babies and toddlers.

6. What do you think of shops/restaurants that have no feeding room and instead tell the mother to feed the child in the ladies toilets?
I used to sit on any available chair and feed my kids. Never in a toilet - would you bottlefeed a baby in a public toilet? I was discreet and no one ever commented. I have fed my babies in church, in cafes, in shops, during concerts... When the baby is hungry it needs food. I like to see other mums breastfeeding. It's natural and healthy, and I'm not going to let other people's unnecessary prudishness stop me caring for my children in the best way I can.

with my now 2 1/2 year old he gets fed wherever, but very discreetly and most people wouldn't know he's not just having a cuddle. and he doesn't walk over and 'yank up my shirt'. he usually tilts his head to the side and quietly says 'mamma mmmms peez?'. and sometimes the answer is 'not now'. it is quite possible to be respectful and gracious with this. True. Older babies can wait if it's not convenient. Often you reduce to just morning and evening after the first 18 months anyway. With very tiny babies, while breastfeeding is still getting established, the chances are you don't get out much anyway - I know I didn't.
yes. there are situations where a mother genuinely can't b/feed, and this needs to be treated with sensitivity. she shouldn't feel guilty Very true. but as you say, with more help and better advice, more women would be able to feed successfully. Of course there can be medical reasons not too feed, and the mum should not have to feel guilty about this.

To anyone having problems in the first few weeks: it really is worth persevering, because once you've got established it is the nicest way in the world to care for your child, and very convenient too. Sterilising bottles and mixing formula while a hungry baby cries, must be a nightmare, not to mention if your transport is delayed and you run out of formula!

When he or she starts growing teeth.In my experience, teeth are not usually a problem. If the baby bites, which often happens before teeth come through anyway, you raise your voice and withdraw the breast - they soon learn.
To me, it is like walking around with your breasts exposed. It is simply not decent. You say it is natural, well, going to the bathroom is natural, and we don't do that in public! Wearing clothes isn't natural, yet we do that. But feeding a child can hardly be compared with going to the toilet, or walking around naked! You have to look really hard to see anything, and if you mind, you shouldn't be looking.
I think 6 months is long enough.The World Health Organisation disagrees with you.
I think mothers should come prepared with bottles for when out in public. I think mothers should not only have their babies used to the breast, but also bottles, as it allows mum to take a break too now & again!There are benefits to expressing milk and using a bottle if you have to leave your child, but expressing can be difficult, and sterilising bottles and freezing and thawing milk is a lot of hassle. Why use a bottle of expressed milk, when you have a supply of fresh milk in a sterile "container" and at just the right temperature with you all the time?

Why use a bottle of expressed milk, when you have a supply of fresh milk in a sterile "container" and at just the right temperature with you all the time?

Well, I think I answered that in my original reply.. To give mothers a break. Fathers, babysitters, etc can't feed the baby by the breast. It's best to have the child used to bottled breast milk as well in the occasion mum isn't there. :)

1. Do you/would you breastfeed your child? IF I have a child s/he would be breastfed.

2. Do you think it’s fair to the mother to breastfeed for an extended period of time? Fair? It's her choice.

3. When do you think is the right time to wean a child off the breast? Not really sure. I don't think a child should be breastfed much longer after age one.

4. Do you think that older children actually need the breast milk, or do you think it’s more of a comfort thing? It's more of a comfort thing.

5a. Do you think mothers should be allowed to breastfeed in public? Somewhat. I do think she should have a blanket covering her. My cousin has a baby and I was out with her and she would use a blanket whenever she breastfed him.

5b. If you answered no to question 5a, can you give your reasons why it shouldn’t be allowed? If the mother didn't have anything covering herself, then it shouldn't be allowed.

5c. If you answered yes to question 5a, why do you think others don’t agree with it? Don't really know why. Unless it's just the whole 'no public nudity'.

6. What do you think of shops/restaurants that have no feeding room and instead tell the mother to feed the child in the ladies toilets? *shrug* My cousin was sitting at the table with myself, and a lot of our aunts when she was breastfeeding one time.

1. Do you/would you breastfeed your child?
I am currently breastfeeding my second child. He also gets formula as well.

2. Do you think it’s fair to the mother to breastfeed for an extended period of time?
If the mother sees breastfeeding as a joyful experience rather than a chore, then I don't see why not. Although I think going longer than 2 years is a bit excessive. If the child continues to get the breast whenever he wants it, then it can start an ugly pattern of the child calling the shots, not the parent.

3. When do you think is the right time to wean a child off the breast?
I think around 11 months is a good time to start. That way the child could be weaned by the time he's a year old.

4. Do you think that older children actually need the breast milk, or do you think it’s more of a comfort thing?
Breast milk does have a better nutritional advantage over cow's milk, but as a child gets older, they just nurse out of habit, not hunger.

5a. Do you think mothers should be allowed to breastfeed in public?
Absolutely. Why should a mother have to stay home all the time just because her child's food happens to come from her breast?

5b. If you answered no to question 5a, can you give your reasons why it shouldn’t be allowed?

5c. If you answered yes to question 5a, why do you think others don’t agree with it?
I think it's because in this day and age, a woman's breast is seen more of a sexual object rather than a part of motherhood. The whole purpose of the breast is for the feeding of children. As time went on that whole view got distorted.

6. What do you think of shops/restaurants that have no feeding room and instead tell the mother to feed the child in the ladies toilets?
It's sickening. After all, would you want to eat your lunch in the bathroom?

1. Do you/would you breastfeed your child?
If I ever have children, I will adopt, so no.

2. Do you think it’s fair to the mother to breastfeed for an extended period of time?
When someone becomes a parent, they need to understand that his/her life is not completely their own anymore. If the child needs to feed for an extended period of time, then the child should be fed for as long as it needs. A loving mother would understand this, and hopefully learn how to bottle milk if she needs a night out. That's what the fathers, aunts, uncles, grandpas, grandmas, etc. are for.

3. When do you think is the right time to wean a child off the breast?
Whenever the child is ready, and after the mother has talked about it to the doctor.

4. Do you think that older children actually need the breast milk, or do you think it’s more of a comfort thing?
It can be both. Human beings (especially developing ones) need physical touch in order to stay mentally and physically healthy. There are some medical reasons too like some have stated above to keep a child on breast milk.

5a. Do you think mothers should be allowed to breastfeed in public?
Without a doubt. When someone's rights are violated (they won't be) or if someone receives physical injury (they won't) or dies (they won't) because they saw some woman breast feeding, then I would say no. However, since none of those scenerios will ever happen, then breast feeding should stay.

5b. If you answered no to question 5a, can you give your reasons why it shouldn’t be allowed?

5c. If you answered yes to question 5a, why do you think others don’t agree with it?
They don't want to see a woman's breasts? I suppose that a woman that does breast feed could have a problem with it, if she is shy and wants to do it in private.

6. What do you think of shops/restaurants that have no feeding room and instead tell the mother to feed the child in the ladies toilets?
At my local mall there is a seperate room besides the men and women's restrooms. I think its called a family room. I've never been in one, but I suspect that it's for changing diapers and breast feeding. Can someone validate this? Oh, and if someone in a store told me to breast feed my baby in a bathroom, corporate would certainly get a howler from me.

But feeding a child can hardly be compared with going to the toilet, or walking around naked! You have to look really hard to see anything, and if you mind, you shouldn't be looking.

I'm sorry, but that is just how I feel. Why not compare the two? They are both necessary, "natural" functions. I saw a woman doing it discreetly once and it still made me uncomfortable. I'm sure one could make urinating look discreet, it still wouldn't make it right to do in public. And I shouldn't be looking if I mind? What sort of a statement is that? The simple fact that she was doing it made me uncomfortable. It is an action that involves genitalia. We don't do actions that involve genitalia in public. We don't masturbate in public, we don't have sex in public, and we don't expose private areas in public. We shouldn't breastfeed in public for the simple fact of public decency. Find a bathroom, find your car or something, if you're in a place with a separate feeding room, go there! Where do you usually change diapers?

I'm sorry, but that is just how I feel. Why not compare the two? They are both necessary, "natural" functions. I saw a woman doing it discreetly once and it still made me uncomfortable. I'm sure one could make urinating look discreet, it still wouldn't make it right to do in public. And I shouldn't be looking if I mind? What sort of a statement is that? The simple fact that she was doing it made me uncomfortable. It is an action that involves genitalia. We don't do actions that involve genitalia in public. We don't masturbate in public, we don't have sex in public, and we don't expose private areas in public. We shouldn't breastfeed in public for the simple fact of public decency. Find a bathroom, find your car or something, if you're in a place with a separate feeding room, go there! Where do you usually change diapers?
I don’t know how to tell you this but breasts are not genitalia. They are mammary glands. They are there for the sole purpose of feeding a baby.

I don’t know how to tell you this but breasts are not genitalia. They are mammary glands. They are there for the sole purpose of feeding a baby.

Like genitals, they are areas which are normally kept private. Women don't expose breasts in public. I'm sorry, this is not logical. This is a purely emotional, gut feeling that I am uncomfortable with women breastfeeding in public. It just doesn't seem proper or decent. It is something which should be done privately.

The Questions:

1. Do you/would you breastfeed your child?

I would want to, but I will probably go back to work before my child is 6 months old, so that will make things more difficult. I won't beat myself up if it turns out breast feeding isn't practical for me at that point.

2. Do you think it’s fair to the mother to breastfeed for an extended period of time?

Fair to whom? I don't think it is fair to herself, but I don't see who else it would hurt. I haven't seen any evidence that toddlers who still breastfeed are damaged by it.

OK, I'll change my answer in the case of the 8-year-old. That's messed up.

3. When do you think is the right time to wean a child off the breast?

I think it looks a bit odd to breast feed a child past the age of two. I don't really see the point.

I do think current childcare trends put a fair bit of pressure on women to breastfeed for one year. I'm going to resist that if it turns out to not work with my lifestyle. Putting a baby on a bottle has a lot of advantages too, including reducing the stress on the mother. Breastfeeding may be good for babies, but having rested, sane mothers is good for babies, too.

4. Do you think that older children actually need the breast milk, or do you think it’s more of a comfort thing?

It's a comfort thing. In some cases, it isn't even a comfort thing for the child, but for the mother. Sometimes it is the mom that needs to be weaned.

5a. Do you think mothers should be allowed to breastfeed in public?

Yes, but they should make reasonable efforts to be discreet about it. There is usually no need to breastfeed older children in public, since they can eat other foods.

6. What do you think of shops/restaurants that have no feeding room and instead tell the mother to feed the child in the ladies toilets?

Women are well within their rights to refuse to feed their children in the toilet. Eww!

Like genitals, they are areas which are normally kept private. Women don't expose breasts in public. I'm sorry, this is not logical. This is a purely emotional, gut feeling that I am uncomfortable with women breastfeeding in public. It just doesn't seem proper or decent. It is something which should be done privately.

Women expose breasts in public all the time, on television, in magazines - they can be ridiculously hard to get away from in a sexual context.
But to your main point - why should nursing mothers have to go to lengths to feed in private just to satisfy what you admit is an illogical response on your part - surely the onus lies on you to change your way of thinking?

1. Do you/would you breastfeed your child?
i don't have kids yet. i don't know if i would breastfeed them or not. i don't like the idea now but i could easily see myself changing my mind if i actually had a child. i'm sure giving birth will make breastfeeding seem comfortable in comparison. but right now all i can think is "ow"!

2. Do you think it’s fair to the mother to breastfeed for an extended period of time?
not if she doesn't want to. but i don't know many mothers that would if they didn't really want to.

3. When do you think is the right time to wean a child off the breast?
i don't know, i guess whenever the child is ready. it freaks me out when i see a kid who's like two years old with a mouth full of teeth breastfeeding, but i figure the mom knows better than i do. i'm usually for public breastfeeding, but i can understand not allowing it for older kids - it's not like the breast is their only source of food at that point. give the kid an orange or something.

4. Do you think that older children actually need the breast milk, or do you think it’s more of a comfort thing?
i really don't think many kids over one or so really physically need breastmilk, though it may still be beneficial. i'm no doctor, though.

5a. Do you think mothers should be allowed to breastfeed in public?
yes, if the baby isn't old enough to be eating solid foods yet. a few times i've seen breastfeeding mothers cover up with a kind of sheet/blanket which i think is much more polite. but i think it should be allowed, polite or not.

5c. If you answered yes to question 5a, why do you think others don’t agree with it?
because they hate children. (kidding).
some people are just uptight. and some people just like to make a big stink out of everything.

6. What do you think of shops/restaurants that have no feeding room and instead tell the mother to feed the child in the ladies toilets?
i don't think they should even have to go to a feeding room if the baby isn't old enough for solid foods. but i think in a restaurant asking them to cover up with a towel or something like that would be okay - in a shop they shouldn't even have to do that if they don't want to, though. i don't see what the big deal is most of hte time - it's just a boob, for crying out loud.

To me, it is like walking around with your breasts exposed. It is simply not decent.



Oookay....but what if you're in the middle of somewhere and there's nowhere private and the baby is hungry as hell and is crying his/her eyes out?

Breast feeding is good. Its a part of a natural cycle of life. And every child has a right to breast milk. But it becomes a problem when a mother breast feeds for too long.
Extended period of breast feeding often makes the child lactose intolerant in later life.
It also creates problems for the woman in question. Leading to various breast problems in later life.
Apart fom physical problems a child can get addicted to the mothers breast if breast fed for too long. This can lead to awkward situations later on when the child grows up. At 12, 13 and sometimes even 15 the child remains addicted to the mothers breast which is very problematic.

Breast-feeding is a purely natural thing, and should not have to be hidden from the public. Although, I think it is advisable for a woman not to breastfeed too blatantly and if, for example, she is in a busy market place she should not stand in the middle and breastfeed, but move to the side and out of the way. And if the child is breastfed for a long amount of time, this can cause psychological problems in the later life for the child, such as wanting to suckle a partners nipples, as a substitute for their mother's.

Breast feeding is good. Its a part of a natural cycle of life. And every child has a right to breast milk. But it becomes a problem when a mother breast feeds for too long.
Extended period of breast feeding often makes the child lactose intolerant in later life.
It also creates problems for the woman in question. Leading to various breast problems in later life.
Apart fom physical problems a child can get addicted to the mothers breast if breast fed for too long. This can lead to awkward situations later on when the child grows up. At 12, 13 and sometimes even 15 the child remains addicted to the mothers breast which is very problematic.

Do you have any evidence to back up these points? I've never heard of extended breastfeeding causing either lactose intolerance or breast addiction, and I've certainly never heard of it causing problems for the mother, so I'd be interested in seeing this research.

I saw that programme! I found the idea of a woman breastfeeding her children till the age of seven or eight distasteful. There is simply no nutritional reason, in this country, why that should be done and I wonder what it is doing psychologically to the children.

Anyway, I have no problem with people breastfeeding in public. My sister does it and it looks discreet.

I saw that programme! I found the idea of a woman breastfeeding her children till the age of seven or eight distasteful. There is simply no nutritional reason, in this country, why that should be done and I wonder what it is doing psychologically to the children.


Ew. Those kids'll remember it when they're older. And they don't even need it, and isn't it embarrasing for the mom? Those kids'll probably be addicted to it...and well....EW!

Also, as a side note, it's recommended that infants weaned before 12 months of age should not receive cow's milk but should receive iron-fortified infant formula.
I think that everybody should know that you should not give cow milk to a baby.

And yes breastfeeding is healthy. I won't deny that.

Years ago on holiday there was a mother at the beach who breastfed her at least 3 year old son. For me the mother and also the child were mentally disturbed. It seemed that they were not able to let go eachother. :no:

Well, I think I answered that in my original reply.. To give mothers a break. Fathers, babysitters, etc can't feed the baby by the breast. It's best to have the child used to bottled breast milk as well in the occasion mum isn't there. But if I understood your post correctly, you were suggesting that a mother out shopping with her baby, should use a bottle of expressed milk rather than breastfeed in public. Expressing milk is useful when you have to leave your baby, but shouldn't be done because other people object to breastfeeding.
Like genitals, they are areas which are normally kept private. Women don't expose breasts in public. I'm sorry, this is not logical. This is a purely emotional, gut feeling that I am uncomfortable with women breastfeeding in public. It just doesn't seem proper or decent. It is something which should be done privately.You see a lot more breast on any catwalk than you see when a mother feeds her child. Do fashion shows make you uncomfortable, or is it OK to show a bit of flesh for entertainment purposes but not to nourish a baby?
I would want to, but I will probably go back to work before my child is 6 months old, so that will make things more difficult. I won't beat myself up if it turns out breast feeding isn't practical for me at that point. May I suggest that you continue morning and evening feeds, but use a bottle during the day after you return to work. Breastfeeding an older baby isn't 24/7. There is no doubt that the first 6 months are the most important for breastfeeding, but most kids will gradually reduce the number of feeds after that. My daughter weened herself as she gradually lost interest. My son needed some persuasion to stop daytime feeding, but for a long time he just fed morning and evening and we were both very happy with it. He lost interest naturally just before his second birthday.

Extended period of breast feeding often makes the child lactose intolerant in later life.
It also creates problems for the woman in question. Leading to various breast problems in later life.
Apart fom physical problems a child can get addicted to the mothers breast if breast fed for too long. This can lead to awkward situations later on when the child grows up. At 12, 13 and sometimes even 15 the child remains addicted to the mothers breast which is very problematic.Can you provide documentation for any of this?

I think it is advisable for a woman not to breastfeed too blatantly and if, for example, she is in a busy market place she should not stand in the middle and breastfeed, but move to the side and out of the way.I think we all do this anyway. I've never seen anyone standing in the middle of a busy place to feed. A seat in a secluded place is much nicer.
And if the child is breastfed for a long amount of time, this can cause psychological problems in the later life for the child, such as wanting to suckle a partners nipples, as a substitute for their mother's.Can it? How long is "a long amount of time"?

Can I also ask a question of those who say that breastmilk has no nutritional value after a certain age? Would you then say that there is no point giving cow's milk to children at all, and that it is not nutritious? If cow's milk can give vitamins, calcium etc to children, surely it follows that no matter what the age, milk specifically tailored for humans must have at least as much nutritious value?

Can I also ask a question of those who say that breastmilk has no nutritional value after a certain age? Would you then say that there is no point giving cow's milk to children at all, and that it is not nutritious? If cow's milk can give vitamins, calcium etc to children, surely it follows that no matter what the age, milk specifically tailored for humans must have at least as much nutritious value?
I think the comment is poorly worded. It is not that breast milk doesn't continue to have nutritional value it is just that it is no longer necessary to get the nutriants from breast milk. At two a childs diet is primarly food items and milk has become a beverage not a nutritional necessity.

I think the comment is poorly worded. It is not that breast milk doesn't continue to have nutritional value it is just that it is no longer necessary to get the nutriants from breast milk. At two a childs diet is primarly food items and milk has become a beverage not a nutritional necessity.

But many people regard cow's milk as a nutritional necessity for their children don't they? It's an odd thing that we regard human breastmilk for older children as something obscene and unnecessary, but we think that milk made by a cow for a calf is a natural and healthy thing for our children to drink instead.

I think we all do this anyway. I've never seen anyone standing in the middle of a busy place to feed. A seat in a secluded place is much nicer.


Exactly; so, providing that a woman does not breastfeed in the middle of busy place, it is perfectly alright for a woman to breastfeed her child in public.

Can it? How long is "a long amount of time"?

I beleive it can, and in some cases it certainly does. But not all cases are the same. A long amount of time, to me, is anytime seriously over when it has not become a necessity. And if people did not see it as a necessity the child would probably, if ever breastfed, ween off much easier as it was probably not breastfed as much as a child who was solely breastfed.

However I do admit I am ignorant in such matters, and would gladly accept criticism.

But many people regard cow's milk as a nutritional necessity for their children don't they? It's an odd thing that we regard human breastmilk for older children as something obscene and unnecessary, but we think that milk made by a cow for a calf is a natural and healthy thing for our children to drink instead.
I think the point is that there comes a point that you are recieving no added benifit from breast milk. That calls into question to some people why are you still breast feeding. I have breast fed all my children and it was a bonding time but there is a point where you have to start letting go and let your children become independent. I think what people are questioning is why some moms choose not to let their kids make this important step. I will admit people breast feeding beyond two years old is strange to me as I can't find any logical benifit for it. At that point there are sooo many other ways to get nutriants and so many fun ways to bond with the child such as playing and reading books.

This is an interesting discussion because the issue varies according to what you consider to be extended breastfeeding. There is a huge difference between breastfeeding a two year old and breastfeeding a 5 year old. I personally feel that there should be very special reasons for continuing past 3 years, such as milk allergies, but that it is normal, natural and healthy to breastfeed for 2 years. The idea that breastmilk is unnecessary once the child has teeth or has started solids is outdated, yet still persistant.

How long you breastfeed is a personal choice, between you and your child, and is nobody else's business unless you go to the extreme of breastfeeding a 5 year old, which I don't think is healthy and thankfully most mums don't do it. I know of a case of twins where one was weaned several months before the other. My own kids lost interest at 13 months and 2 years, and that was ok, although I would have liked to continue a bit longer with the first one.

It would be helpful if all posters specified which age they considered to be too old for breastfeeding, because it's confusing when one person is talking about 6 months and another 6 years.

Like genitals, they are areas which are normally kept private. Women don't expose breasts in public. I'm sorry, this is not logical. This is a purely emotional, gut feeling that I am uncomfortable with women breastfeeding in public. It just doesn't seem proper or decent. It is something which should be done privately.

What about women like my cousin who keep a blanket covering themselves so you can't see anything? When she brestfeeds you can only see that she's got a blanket on part of her upper body. You can't even see her son at all.
I used to feel uncomfortable about women breastfeeding in public, but after being around my cousin while she did it; it doesn't bother me. Not so long as the woman is covered up. That would be the only reason to want someone not to breastfeed out in the open. And really, why would a woman want to expose herself while out in public like that? I sure as heck wouldn't want to.

1. Do you/would you breastfeed your child?
I am surely going to breast feed my children.
2. Do you think it’s fair to the mother to breastfeed for an extended period of time?
No, going past a certain time is difficult. It's already difficult enough, if you're a working mother to breast feed all the time, so why make it last longer?
3. When do you think is the right time to wean a child off the breast?
6 months was when my brother (who is 7) was weaned. It's not difficult if you present the child with a mixture of breast and bottle.
4. Do you think that older children actually need the breast milk, or do you think it’s more of a comfort thing?
The older children don't need it. Their digestive tracks are more developed, therefore, they don't necessarily need the crucial elements of a mother's milk.
5a. Do you think mothers should be allowed to breastfeed in public?
Not openly, but places should present mothers with feeding rooms, so they can do it in an almost private session.
6. What do you think of shops/restaurants that have no feeding room and instead tell the mother to feed the child in the ladies toilets?
Not only is that disgusting an unsanitary, it's an insult to the mother. Where I live in America none of the restaurants have feeding rooms. Only certain stores in the mall do, and I've seen them at a chili festival I used to go to.

You see a lot more breast on any catwalk than you see when a mother feeds her child. Do fashion shows make you uncomfortable, or is it OK to show a bit of flesh for entertainment purposes but not to nourish a baby?

Women expose breasts in public all the time, on television, in magazines - they can be ridiculously hard to get away from in a sexual context.
But to your main point - why should nursing mothers have to go to lengths to feed in private just to satisfy what you admit is an illogical response on your part - surely the onus lies on you to change your way of thinking?

Yes, in movies and entertainment women expose breasts. Yet streaking is illegal, at least it is where I live. Why do you suppose that is?

What about women like my cousin who keep a blanket covering themselves so you can't see anything? When she brestfeeds you can only see that she's got a blanket on part of her upper body. You can't even see her son at all.
I used to feel uncomfortable about women breastfeeding in public, but after being around my cousin while she did it; it doesn't bother me. Not so long as the woman is covered up. That would be the only reason to want someone not to breastfeed out in the open. And really, why would a woman want to expose herself while out in public like that? I sure as heck wouldn't want to.

I suppose that wouldn't be too bad, if it were COMPLETELY covered like that. The woman I saw doing it "discreetly" still had the very tip of her nipple sticking out.

Like genitals, they are areas which are normally kept private. Women don't expose breasts in public. I'm sorry, this is not logical. This is a purely emotional, gut feeling that I am uncomfortable with women breastfeeding in public. It just doesn't seem proper or decent. It is something which should be done privately.

sounds like the problem is with the person viewing, certainly not the nursing mother and I don't ever hear any babies complaining about being fed in public! I used to have to walk around with my daughter attatched to the breast way too often. And I did it where ever I went. Anyone looking at us just thought that I was cuddling my baby! There are special nursing tops that some women use and that work well, others choose not to use them.

The next time you are out, why don't you take your lunch, dinner, snack, whatever meal it is and go sit on a toilet to eat it....After all, eating is a natural part of the function of the body...and the bathroom is the final step in digesting it....

As was stated breasts are given to woman for the sole purpose of feeding our offspring. It is man that has turned them into something more than that...not that many woman are complaining mind you.

This is an interesting discussion because the issue varies according to what you consider to be extended breastfeeding. There is a huge difference between breastfeeding a two year old and breastfeeding a 5 year old. I personally feel that there should be very special reasons for continuing past 3 years, such as milk allergies, but that it is normal, natural and healthy to breastfeed for 2 years. The idea that breastmilk is unnecessary once the child has teeth or has started solids is outdated, yet still persistant.

How long you breastfeed is a personal choice, between you and your child, and is nobody else's business unless you go to the extreme of breastfeeding a 5 year old, which I don't think is healthy and thankfully most mums don't do it. I know of a case of twins where one was weaned several months before the other. My own kids lost interest at 13 months and 2 years, and that was ok, although I would have liked to continue a bit longer with the first one.

It would be helpful if all posters specified which age they considered to be too old for breastfeeding, because it's confusing when one person is talking about 6 months and another 6 years.

I would agree with most of this...I must say that usually the duration of breast feeding has to do with culture in most cases. It is just more readily accepted in different parts of the world. As to taking it further and breastfeeding an older child in modern day public...well there isn't a need for that. An infant needs to be fed ever few hours and I don't think that a mother should be home bound to accomplish this. But an older child, say over 2, really doesn't need to be fed the breast ever few hours and can do just fine with solid foods and drinks of other natures without needing to nurse in public. Just my thoughts on the matter.

even for people who dislike seeing breastfeeding in public, you'd think they'd rather see that than have to listen to a screaming, crying baby. there's evidence that we are actually born with an aversion to hearing others cry** (based on the fact that infants will start crying if they hear crying)- but we certainly aren't born with an aversion to public breastfeeding. funny how things society imposes on us as "decent" or "indecent" can grow to overpower even our natural instincts...


It would be helpful if all posters specified which age they considered to be too old for breastfeeding, because it's confusing when one person is talking about 6 months and another 6 years.
well, it depends on the child of course - but i would say about 2 at the oldest in most cases (not that i'm an expert). now, i sure as heck wouldn't breastfeed my own kids until they were 2 years old, but more power to mom's who do because they're probably giving their kids some extra immunity or something.

i don't think kids old enough to eat solids should be breastfed in public, though. not because there's anything wrong with it, but because some people are bothered by it and i don't think a kid who's eating solids really needs breast milk right that second - surley it can wait 'till they get home.

**Early Childhood Development: A Multi-Cultural Perspective, by Jeffrey-Trawick Smith.

I suppose that wouldn't be too bad, if it were COMPLETELY covered like that. The woman I saw doing it "discreetly" still had the very tip of her nipple sticking out.
You must have been looking very closely, then! People who stare at a breastfeeding woman as if she's some kind of strange new animal on display are even ruder (is that a word?) than staring at an adult while they are eating their dinner. Also, if she was breastfeeding, wasn't her nipple covered by the baby's mouth?

By the way, in my first post here, I refered to a mom who still breastfed her 3 year-old. I didn't find anything wrong with the age of the child, only with the behavior of said child - and her mom! We were at an elementary school where 6, 8, and 10 year-olds were walking by us in a hallway. For the toddler to just yank up mom's shirt - and for mom not to gently say "not now, honey" or at least try to cover up was a bit unsettling -- even for a breastfeeding supporter like me!

As for age limits -- I agree that it should be between mother and child, to a certain point. Once the child enters school, actual breastfeeding should probably have given way to hugs and cuddles.

Yes, in movies and entertainment women expose breasts. Yet streaking is illegal, at least it is where I live. Why do you suppose that is?



I suppose that wouldn't be too bad, if it were COMPLETELY covered like that. The woman I saw doing it "discreetly" still had the very tip of her nipple sticking out.


Well again I really can't see any correlation between streaking and breastfeeding - women breastfeeding aren't trying to deliberately shock or show off their body, they are only concerned with feeding their baby.

As for this 'tip of the nipple' sticking out, I must agree with Piky, you must have been looking pretty closely to see that, and if you're so offended by the whole thing, why weren't you simply looking away? When a baby is feeding, the entire area of the nipple is in the baby's mouth, and would only be exposed if the baby suddenly pulled away, and even then you would have to be staring right at the woman feeding to see anything.

I don't see why it would be offensive even if the entire nipple were exposed to be honest - I mean, it's common in British newspapers for topless women to adorn inside pages, and surely that's worse?

As to the nutrient question, The Other Jo (does that make me the other other Jo?) answered it well. In this country, a seven year old has many other means of getting nutrients into their body - they do not need to come from breast milk. Sure, milk is a good source of calcium but why breast milk when cow's milk is cheap and easily available in the UK? Breast feeding a seven year old is just setting up huge psychological problems in future life, I think.

There was, if you pardon me for saying it, an element of smugness in the attitude of the woman who breast fed her seven year old and was going to let her ten year old breastfeed for a birthday treat. It was a sort of 'look at me, see what an earth mother I am.. I am way beyond your understanding' type of attitude. I just hope her kids see it that way too when they hit puberty.

In this country, a seven year old has many other means of getting nutrients into their body - they do not need to come from breast milk. Sure, milk is a good source of calcium but why breast milk when cow's milk is cheap and easily available in the UK? Breast feeding a seven year old is just setting up huge psychological problems in future life, I think.

I'm not sure, but can antibodies be transferred from the mum to the child through breast milk? If I'm not mistaken they can, and if so, then it's more than just nutrients (not that I don't find the idea of breast-feeding a seven year old rather peculiar).

It is certainly not appropriate to let a 10 year old breastfeed for a "treat", because it is important to teach children which areas of the body are private, to help them know how to react to inappropriate touching and abuse. I tell my kids that some areas are private, that we don't touch people there, and that if someone was to touch them there they should tell me and I promise not to be cross with them.

But I did let my 4 year old have a taste of expressed breastmilk (ie from a cup, not from the breast) when I was feeding the baby, just to satisfy her curiosity. She said "yuck!" and didn't ask again.

I'm not defending breastfeeding seven year olds, but several posters have mentioned psychological damage, and I wonder if there is any documentation for that?

I'm not sure, but can antibodies be transferred from the mum to the child through breast milk? If I'm not mistaken they can, and if so, then it's more than just nutrients (not that I don't find the idea of breast-feeding a seven year old rather peculiar).Yes, breastmilk contains antibodies from the mother, helping to pass on immunity to diseases the mother has had, although I'm not sure if this is as useful to an older child as it is to a newborn. What is interesting though, is that breastmilk is proven (and there is a word that has not been used much in this debate) to reduce allergic reactions to other food. If you introduce wheat, peanuts, etc while still breastfeeding, the child is less likely to develop an allergy to that food. So for children who are already allergic or who are genetically disposed to allergy, breastfeeding should continue for at least the first year, and preferably longer.

IAs to the nutrient question, The Other Jo (does that make me the other other Jo?) answered it well. In this country, a seven year old has many other means of getting nutrients into their body - they do not need to come from breast milk. Sure, milk is a good source of calcium but why breast milk when cow's milk is cheap and easily available in the UK? Breast feeding a seven year old is just setting up huge psychological problems in future life, I think.



Yes, but some people are against the idea of cow's milk entirely, either because it's meant for cows and not humans, or because of allergies, or because of animal welfare concerns. I've read many articles about the possible health problems caused by a milk intended for a cow and consumed by a human.

I would have to say that in that circumstance I'd rather give a child beyond the age of 3 or 4yrs expressed breastmilk than give a breastfeed, but my point was that there is no good reason for saying that breastmilk has no benefit past a certain age. By that reasoning there is no reason to give milk at all, but health boards across the world urge us to give our kids cows milk to keep them healthy.

I'm undecided on the issue of breastfeeding past the age of 3 or 4 yrs, but I accept that, as shown by the wide range of replies here, it's an extremely subjective thing, so I wouldn't dream of saying that someone shouldn't feed past a certain age. I too would be very interested to know if anyone has any evidence of extended breastfeeding causing psychological damage though, it's not something I've ever seen any evidence of myself.

1. Do you/would you breastfeed your child? I probably wouldn't, but that's more because I plan on having a job before I have a child. However, I do give kudos to all of those mommies out there who do breastfeed properly.

2. Do you think it’s fair to the mother to breastfeed for an extended period of time? Actually, many studies have concluded that as large-bodied mammals, breastfeeding would contribute best to a child's diet as the main source of nutrition for at least 2.5 years and as long as 6 years. However, I realize that most western countries see breasts as objects of lust rather than as body parts meant for the feeding of infants. So, with that in mind, I'd say that it wouldn't really bother me to see or know a woman who breastfeeding her 2 year old. Because of our culture however, I would probably be more concerned - but not the point of calling the mother mean or cruel names or accusing her of being a bad mther - to see a mother breastfeeding her 4 year old.

3. When do you think is the right time to wean a child off the breast?
If I could (or if I end up breastfeeding), I'd probably start weaning around 1.

4. Do you think that older children actually need the breast milk, or do you think it’s more of a comfort thing? No, breastmilk actually does help developing infants into childhood.

5a. Do you think mothers should be allowed to breastfeed in public?
Most definately. Breastfeeding is a natural, and beautiful thing. The culture we live in says it's bad - I don't.

5b. If you answered no to question 5a, can you give your reasons why it shouldn’t be allowed?

5c. If you answered yes to question 5a, why do you think others don’t agree with it? They see breasts as objects of lust. I think I said that in one of my above answers.

6. What do you think of shops/restaurants that have no feeding room and instead tell the mother to feed the child in the ladies toilets? I understand it. I just don't like it.

Well again I really can't see any correlation between streaking and breastfeeding - women breastfeeding aren't trying to deliberately shock or show off their body, they are only concerned with feeding their baby.

The point is, that we make a distinction in our culture between what is acceptable to do in public and what is acceptable to do in entertainment. They are very different. Why don't you walk around with your breasts exposed next time you're in public? If breasts are really no different from the nose or eyes in "shockingness", why is it illegal to show them in public? Answer the question. Surely you all agree that flashing someone is immoral and indecent? You all yelled at me, assuming I said it was ok for a woman to expose breasts on television and magazines, and not ok for a woman to feed her baby in a cafe. The point is, they are very different venues. We have laws against streaking in our society because of public indecency. To me, breastfeeding is a form of public indecency, because it is exposing an area normally kept private. The reason is absolutely irrelevant.

The woman I witnessed wasn't sitting to far away from me and yes, I was kind of staring because it was shocking. I wouldn't mind if she had covered herself completely like risingchaos 's cousin does, to the point where you didn't see anything.

To defend halfbreedlover and as a mom myself that did breastfeed, there are breastfeeding women that just don't care what is seen or where it's done because they have this "it's my right as a mom so, nyah" attitude. It's one of arrogance and spitefulness. They don't care who they offend or might offend, they don't care if they have a nicer, quieter place to do it, they just don't bother whereing a cover-up for the sake of even some modesty and they just don't care at all.
It's like they just whip out there breast and sometimes leave it hanging there while they get their baby ready, and then if you complain you're considering some kind of misogynist or anti-feminist. I mean really, respect goes both ways.
Breastfeed your baby at the mall, go right ahead but being flamboyant about it isn't doing any side a favor.

Oh, and about the "tip of the nipple" debate. She might have been referring to the areola (simply the whole nipple area). And not everyone has dainty, cute ones. Some of them are ginormous nipples that sure do peak out. :)

The point is, that we make a distinction in our culture between what is acceptable to do in public and what is acceptable to do in entertainment. They are very different. Why don't you walk around with your breasts exposed next time you're in public? If breasts are really no different from the nose or eyes in "shockingness", why is it illegal to show them in public? Answer the question. Surely you all agree that flashing someone is immoral and indecent? You all yelled at me, assuming I said it was ok for a woman to expose breasts on television and magazines, and not ok for a woman to feed her baby in a cafe. The point is, they are very different venues. We have laws against streaking in our society because of public indecency. To me, breastfeeding is a form of public indecency, because it is exposing an area normally kept private. The reason is absolutely irrelevant.

The woman I witnessed wasn't sitting to far away from me and yes, I was kind of staring because it was shocking. I wouldn't mind if she had covered herself completely like risingchaos 's cousin does, to the point where you didn't see anything.

Firstly, I don't think your aggressive attitude is necessary, and secondly I'm not avoiding any question. The reason I don't walk around with my breasts exposed is because it's not a necessary thing to do (and in Scotland it's always too cold anyway!) and I have no interest in showing off my body. The reason I got my breasts out in public when I had a young baby was because that baby needed fed, and there is no more suitable feed for a baby than milk fresh from mum. I don't agree that the reason is irrelevant, it's completely relevant! Breastfeeding mums are not thinking 'wow, here's a chance to flash my breasts around, fantastic'.

As to why it's illegal to show breasts in public, in many cultures it's not illegal, and it's not regarded as anything more shocking than a nose or eyes. The reason it's illegal in our so-called advanced civilisation is because we have over the years sexualised breasts and have done a fantastic job of completely forgetting that breasts have a whole other and more ancient purpose than providing a thrill for men. It's a good thing that society is slowly beginning to get back to realising that breastfeeding is a good and natural thing which should not be hidden away.

Breasts flashed about on the street with the purpose of shocking would not even offend me, I would simply find it a rather odd thing to do. Breasts slightly exposed to nurture a baby do not offend me in the slightest.

Your other point about the difference between entertainment and a public place - I don't see how breasts exposed for entertainment is acceptable, and it's often in a public place. I feel uncomfortable when I'm on a bus with my kids and the man in front is ogling the page 3 girl in his paper, because that's done with a sexual intent. How on earth can sexualising breasts for entertainment be acceptable, but desexualising breasts by using them for their natural purpose not be acceptable?

I'm not defending breastfeeding seven year olds, but several posters have mentioned psychological damage, and I wonder if there is any documentation for that?
Well I asked me sister about this topic. She's a assistant for a child doctor. She said that children should be fed with breastmilk till the age of 1 1/2 years at the latest. Beyond this breast feeding can cause a psychological damage.
The bound between child and mother will become too strong and the child can have problems in future with beeing separated from the mother (kindergarten etc.) and with strangers.

Well I asked me sister about this topic. She's a assistant for a child doctor. She said that children should be fed with breastmilk till the age of 1 1/2 years at the latest. Beyond this breast feeding can cause a psychological damage.
The bound between child and mother will become too strong and the child can have problems in future with beeing separated from the mother (kindergarten etc.) and with strangers.Well I have a very well adjusted six year old who is doing well at school and has no separation issues, and he and many of his friends were breastfed until the age of nearly two. It's quite normal here in Norway, and I have never seen it affect a child adversely. I have a close bond with both my children, the one who was weaned at 13 months, and the one who was weaned at nearly two, but they are both outgoing, sociable kids and neither of them had a problem starting nursery at age 2 1/2. In many cultures it's the norm to breastfeed for 2-3 years.

There are many ways for parents to cause pychological damage to kids, but a close, nurturing relationship for the first two years of life is not one of them. It is possible for a mother to overprotect a child, and discourage independance, of course, but that can happen with bottle fed children too.

But I agree that if a mother is still breastfeeding a four year old, she should examine her motives very carefully.

Well I asked me sister about this topic. She's a assistant for a child doctor. She said that children should be fed with breastmilk till the age of 1 1/2 years at the latest. Beyond this breast feeding can cause a psychological damage.
The bound between child and mother will become too strong and the child can have problems in future with beeing separated from the mother (kindergarten etc.) and with strangers.

I would say that your sister's advice doesn't correspond with advice given by other health authorities, and as I said earlier, just because a health professional says something about such an issue doesn't make it true, since such advice is constantly revised. As for psychological damage, perhaps you could ask your sister for some substantiated evidence for such a claim. I think it's quite a dangerous claim to make to say that breastfeeding causes psychological damage past 18 months, and I'm fairly willing to bet there is no evidence for it at all.

I'm not sure, but can antibodies be transferred from the mum to the child through breast milk? If I'm not mistaken they can, and if so, then it's more than just nutrients (not that I don't find the idea of breast-feeding a seven year old rather peculiar).
I am trying to remember this from memory and my youngest is almost five. A newborn is born with the mothers immunities but I will wear off after a certain time or it was they are not and need it. Can't remember which but the point is a newborn does receive their mother’s immunities from the milk but as they start to receive their own immunizations they no longer need that benefit. Now I suppose this will lead into the mothers that refuse to immunize their children because of the possible side effects, god I hope not.

I don't think there is any problem with breastfeeding till 2 years old. But later than that and I think you run into problem territory.

Regarding psychological damage, the American Academy of Pediatrics (http://www.aap.org/healthtopics/breastfeeding.cfm) has this to say:

Pediatricians and parents should be aware that exclusive breastfeeding is sufficient to support optimal growth and development for approximately the first 6 months of life and provides continuing protection against diarrhea and respiratory tract infection. Breastfeeding should be continued for at least the first year of life and beyond for as long as mutually desired by mother and child.
Furthermore, AAP says that There is no upper limit to the duration of breastfeeding and no evidence of psychologic or developmental harm from breastfeeding into the third year of life or longer.That means that people who believe that 2 year-olds and 3 year-olds are psychologically damaged due to their age base their beliefs on speculation and opinion - not fact.

Regarding psychological damage, the American Academy of Pediatrics (http://www.aap.org/healthtopics/breastfeeding.cfm) has this to say:

Pediatricians and parents should be aware that exclusive breastfeeding is sufficient to support optimal growth and development for approximately the first 6 months of life and provides continuing protection against diarrhea and respiratory tract infection. Breastfeeding should be continued for at least the first year of life and beyond for as long as mutually desired by mother and child.
Furthermore, AAP says that There is no upper limit to the duration of breastfeeding and no evidence of psychologic or developmental harm from breastfeeding into the third year of life or longer.That means that people who believe that 2 year-olds and 3 year-olds are psychologically damaged due to their age base their beliefs on speculation and opinion - not fact.
I think the point people are trying to make is that it is not the act of breast feeding that may psychologically harm the child but the possible motivations the mother may have for continuing it. I am sure there are moms that breast feed later than two years and have no ill effects on the child.

True, but mothers who have ulterior motives or motivations to breastfeed their children will find other ways to manipulate, etc. their child. The act of breastfeeding shouldn't be viewed as such just because some mothers have these motives.

To me, it is like walking around with your breasts exposed.

Except it's not, because the breast is blocked by either the baby's head of the mother's clothing, including cloths or shawls that the mother has brought along for this very purpose.

My nephew is a year and three weeks and my sister says she's kinda starting to "dry up" so I don't think you have to worry about it... let nature take its course, it'll let you know.

Hmmm, I was under the impression that your body will produce milk as long as there is a demand for it. Is your sister feeding her son full-time, because I think lessening the frequency of the feeds, along with the actual amount of milk taken during a feed can cause the mother's supply to dry up?

I wish I could have continued until around 6 months or so - I really enjoyed the one-on-one time with my boys. To me, it was the contact more than the milk, itself, that made breastfeeding better than the bottle.

I think that was one of the main reasons why the older children in the programme fed for so long, and the mother of the twins said that they still came to her for cuddles where previously they would have come to be fed.

Sterilising bottles and mixing formula while a hungry baby cries, must be a nightmare,

I don't know anyone who does that, most parents I know prepared the entire day's supply the previous night and then put the bottles in the fridge. Then at feeding time the milk just needed heating, and a lot of people use a microwave to do that, so it doesn't take very long anyway.

Fathers, babysitters, etc can't feed the baby by the breast. It's best to have the child used to bottled breast milk as well in the occasion mum isn't there. :)

I agree, mothers need a break every now and again, a little bit of 'me' time.

2. Do you think it’s fair to the mother to breastfeed for an extended period of time? Fair? It's her choice.

Not necessarily, there are some spoilt toddlers out there whose parents give in to their every demand because it's easier than saying no and the child having a tantrum.

5a. Do you think mothers should be allowed to breastfeed in public?
Without a doubt. When someone's rights are violated (they won't be) or if someone receives physical injury (they won't) or dies (they won't) because they saw some woman breast feeding, then I would say no. However, since none of those scenerios will ever happen, then breast feeding should stay.

Well, there's always a chance that someone will be staring so hard they'll walk into a wall and knock themselves out :P

The woman I witnessed wasn't sitting to far away from me and yes, I was kind of staring because it was shocking. I wouldn't mind if she had covered herself completely like risingchaos 's cousin does, to the point where you didn't see anything.

Somebody eating was shocking?? Because that's all that's happening...

True, but mothers who have ulterior motives or motivations to breastfeed their children will find other ways to manipulate, etc. their child. The act of breastfeeding shouldn't be viewed as such just because some mothers have these motives.
Maybe it is that fact that so many of us have breastfed our children and it it something I would never have changed for any of them. When you see it possible used for other reasons it makes you feel like it lessens the act for you. Not sure if that made sense. These people make the general public judge all of us, even the ones that simply want to bond with and nurish their babies.

Not necessarily, there are some spoilt toddlers out there whose parents give in to their every demand because it's easier than saying no and the child having a tantrum.That is still the parent's choice. You can't say it is unfair on the parents, since the parents are entirely to blame for it! Some children are more difficult than others, but if a parent is giving in to every demand, they are doing a very poor job - Dudley Dursley is an example of the result of this sort of parenting!

I would say that your sister's advice doesn't correspond with advice given by other health authorities, and as I said earlier, just because a health professional says something about such an issue doesn't make it true, since such advice is constantly revised. As for psychological damage, perhaps you could ask your sister for some substantiated evidence for such a claim. I think it's quite a dangerous claim to make to say that breastfeeding causes psychological damage past 18 months, and I'm fairly willing to bet there is no evidence for it at all.
Of course she's no scientist at all. I just wrote what she told me.

So everything is good, as long as the scientists haven't proofed that it is bad? Sorry, but many people don't care what they say. They also say that fastfood is bad and that's why McDonalds etc are so unpopular [/sarcasm]. I think people should do what every they consider right and not what strange men in white coats tell them. And for me and the people around me is breastfeeding in such a high age wrong.

So everything is good, as long as the scientists haven't proofed that it is bad? They also say that fastfood is bad and that's why McDonalds etc are so unpopular [/sarcasm]. This depends entirely on the available evidence. For example, McDonalds food is high in saturated fat, refined carbohydrates and nasty chemical additives (all their food tastes the same no matter what is in it), so it doesn't take a great leap of faith to believe that it is bad for you. There is also a lot of research available on the subject. Breastfeeding babies later than 18 months is a natural thing that has been done for as long as people lived on the earth, yet there is very little research available.

When I was a baby, doctors were recommending bottle feeding as the ultimate in modern, hygienic convenience, and very little help was given to the backward earth-mother types who wanted to breastfeed their kids. Now we all know that breastmilk provides countless benefits for newborns, and for older babies, and the British government recommends breastfeeding exclusively for 6 months, and preferably continuing for at least a year.

When it comes to breastfeeding older babies, it is still so rare in our culture that there is next to no systematic research on the subject, and, as with a lot of dietary matters, what you get from the doctor is an opinion, rather than up to date information. Those mums who are still breastfeeding 3 year olds tend to keep it rather quiet, and you only need to read this thread to see why!

Did you know that on a worldwide basis, the average age of weaning is 4 years? That must make an awful lot of psychologically damaged people!

http://www.parentingweb.com/lounge/ext_nursepage.htm

This article presents the point of view of a mother nursing a 2 1/2 year old, without any of the problems people have drawn attention to. (http://www.parentingweb.com/lounge/bf_discipline.htm)

Benefits to breastfed toddlers (http://www.breastfeed-essentials.com/nursetoddler.html)Many of the health benefits that your milk provided to your child in infancy continue to be present for as long as you breastfeed. This is also true for the health benefits afforded to you through nursing. It is a myth that after a certain time period, the health benefits of breastfeeding end! They continue for as long as you breastfeed and are more significant the longer you breastfeed. See "Advantages of Breastfeeding" for a complete list of these benefits.

Breastfeeding for at least one year has been associated with better oral development due to the unique sucking action required with nursing at the breast. There is also evidence that extended breastfeeding results in earlier reading in boys and fewer speech problems.

Breastfeeding toddlers enjoy better health . The immunological benefits of human milk have been found to remain high throughout the first and second years. Toddlers who are nursed have fewer incidence and duration of illness and are less likely to require medical care than their non-breastfeeding peers.

Human milk is readily digested and an accepted source of nourishment for a sick child. Even when other foods may not be tolerated , such as with a stomach virus, a nursing child can go back to complete breastfeeding if necessary, thus allowing him to continue to receive adequate fluids and nutrients. Many times a nursing child will refuse all other food and drink when ill but can still be persuaded to breastfeed.

Human milk provides a natural "cushion" for the child with food allergies or who is slow to take well to solids until his system is mature and ready enough to accept other foods.


I've been looking for articles about psychological damage to breastfed children and I can't find any. The nearest I got was this (http://www.fox5dc.com/_ezpost/data/22039.shtml):Critics worry nursing a child too long can cause long term psychological damage. But a study by the american academy of pediatrics offers a different conclusion.
Nancy Clark: "They haven't found any evidence of psychological or developmental delay in children that are breastfed for long periods of time."
Anne Gray: "In american culture, you have to admit, breasts are considered sexual but a child nursing is not looking at breasts in that fashion."
As more mothers nurse, attitudes are changing.

In fact, there is a lot more evidence that suggests that children whose need for closeness is met by breastfeeding are actually more independant and more receptive to discipline because they feel better about themselves and are not pushed to become too independant too soon. Most kids in Europe/North America wean themselves sometime between 2 and 3, if they are given the chance.

Did you know that on a worldwide basis, the average age of weaning is 4 years? That must make an awful lot of psychologically damaged people!
No I didn't know this with the age. I never made a research on that. Perhaps it's because breast milk is for free and so mother in poorer countries try to breastfeed their children as long as possible so they don'T have to buy other food for the child. :shrug:

I said it "can" cause and not is "will" cause. Of course there are millions of children who were breastfed till a higher age and are ok. :)

One more article that I thought was informative. (http://www.smokymountainnews.com/issues/8_01/8_01_01/opinion_godfrey.shtml)

No I didn't know this with the age. I never made a research on that. Perhaps it's because breast milk is for free and so mother in poorer countries try to breastfeed their children as long as possible so they don'T have to buy other food for the child. Breast milk is also hygienic, since it is sterile and requires neither refrigeration nor clean water for mixing. Tragically, companies such as Nestlé have targeted third world countries to sell formula, even marketing it as better than breast milk, and the result is diarrhoea and death for thousands of infants. But I think the main reason why mothers in "undeveloped" countries continue breastfeeding their children is because nobody has told them that it is either shocking or inappropriate - they just keep doing it because it has always been the best way.

When I was a baby, doctors were recommending bottle feeding as the ultimate in modern, hygienic convenience, and very little help was given to the backward earth-mother types who wanted to breastfeed their kids.
You and I must be around the same age. My mother was actually told that she probably wouldn't be able to breastfeed as she had overly large breasts and I wouldn't be able to latch on. She didn't even try - but went straight to the bottle for both my brother and me.

There are drawbacks to starting an infant out on formula rather than breastmilk - some that I've only read/heard about and some that I've experienced.
First - Formula is expensive! I have heard all my life about how mom and dad went without certain things (like food for themselves....) just so that they could buy formula for us. Breastmilk is "free".
Second - In families where there is a genetic tendency toward obesity, formula-fed babies tend to be overweight children and adults a lot more often than those that were breastfed. (I can't find the research at the moment, but I'll get back on this.....)
Third - The immune and respiratory systems don't get that 'boost' from mom, and the children tend to get ill earlier and more frequently than their breastfed contemporaries. (again, I'll try to find the research...) EDIT: anabel already posted this one...:) #76 -- thanks!
Forth - From a pure human-contact standpoint -- while probably still having a close relationship with each other, both mom and baby are missing out on an entire aspect of the miraculous mothering experience!

Nowadays we are made to feel guilty if we don't at least attempt to breastfeed. I'm sure some people have looked at my previous posts here and were 'shocked' to see that I only gave my sons 8 weeks worth, each. IT'S AN INDIVIDUAL CHOICE!!! Just make sure that before you make that choice for yourself and your baby * GET THE FACTS * Then you can make an informed choice that fits you.

No I didn't know this with the age. I never made a research on that. Perhaps it's because breast milk is for free and so mother in poorer countries try to breastfeed their children as long as possible so they don'T have to buy other food for the child. :shrug:

I said it "can" cause and not is "will" cause. Of course there are millions of children who were breastfed till a higher age and are ok. :)

Actually, while I'm sure that this is a partial cause, you also have to consider the fact that in many developing countries, women who breastfeed do so because it is healthier to feed their chidlren this way.

And by the way, as a woman, I find it kind of offensive to know that people villainize mothers who want to wean their children later. Just because a mother wants to breastfeed her child until age 3 or 4 does not automatically mean that she has 'ulterior motives.' Normally, it means that the mother wants the best for her child. I really cannot condone the words or actions of people who want to tell me that my breasts, and the milk from them that could be used to feed my child (as our bodies and nature intended) can only be seen as sexual objects. Why shouldn't breastfeeding be okay? Because a bunch of people who are uncomfortable with the subject and could quite possibly have dirty minds choose to call it bad and to make the mothers seem immoral?

Actually, while I'm sure that this is a partial cause, you also have to consider the fact that in many developing countries, women who breastfeed do so because it is healthier to feed their chidlren this way.

And by the way, as a woman, I find it kind of offensive to know that people villainize mothers who want to wean their children later. Just because a mother wants to breastfeed her child until age 3 or 4 does not automatically mean that she has 'ulterior motives.' Normally, it means that the mother wants the best for her child. I really cannot condone the words or actions of people who want to tell me that my breasts, and the milk from them that could be used to feed my child (as our bodies and nature intended) can only be seen as sexual objects. Why shouldn't breastfeeding be okay? Because a bunch of people who are uncomfortable with the subject and could quite possibly have dirty minds choose to call it bad and to make the mothers seem immoral?
I had thought about clarifying this earlier but didn't, a bit of regret now. When I spoke of different motives or however I worded it I was not speaking of anything sexual. There are some mom's that by nature cling to their kids they for whatever reason need the bonding more than the child. That was why I said it wasn't the breastfeeding that was the problem. Even if these mothers were not to breastfeed they would still cause some psychological trama to the child. It is not the norm but unfortunately these are the stories that the media gravitates to and therefore we are all judged by. I am sure I am still not explaining this well but this is the best I can do.

1. Do you/would you breastfeed your child?
Yes, of course I would breastfeed my baby. A mother's milk is best. But, I'd start to stop breastfeeding at the age of 5-8 months or so. My mother did it with all my other sisters, so why not? Besides, IN MY OPINION (so don't attack me on this!!!!) breastfeeding a child older than a year is just weird. I've never been exposed to that, so maybe that's the reason. I just think breastfeeding a two, three, four, five year old is weird. If they can eat solid foods why bother, y'know?

2. Do you think it’s fair to the mother to breastfeed for an extended period of time?
Um...I'm not too sure to be honest. After reading some posts I can see why, but I think it's weird. It's up to a good mother to decide what is best for their child.

3. When do you think is the right time to wean a child off the breast?
5-8 months.

4. Do you think that older children actually need the breast milk, or do you think it’s more of a comfort thing?
I think it's more for the mother then the child. So def. a comfort thing. Older children don't need it. That's what vitamins and Pediasure are for.:lol:

5a. Do you think mothers should be allowed to breastfeed in public?
As long as they cover up and no...aerolas can be seen. It's just a decency issue. People can be immature about it and why bother with it when you can prevent it by covering up, y'know? Also, there might be some little kids around and I think some other mothers/fathers wouldn't appreciate it. Also, in my opinion, a woman's body is sacred and there shouldn't be...."areas" hanging out for other people to see. ^.^

5c. If you answered yes to question 5a, why do you think others don’t agree with it?
Oh, they have their reasons and opinions I guess. As said before, DEF. a deceny issue and people have their own beliefs on that.

6. What do you think of shops/restaurants that have no feeding room and instead tell the mother to feed the child in the ladies toilets?
Well...I wouldn't like to see that if I were eating. It'd be awkward. It might be a but rude to...but honestly I'm not completely sure on how I would react. Sure, restaurants NEED feeding rooms because HELLO, BABIES GET HUNGRY!! But...I can see why they'd ask the mother to breastfeed in the bathroom if there were no other place to go do it. It's sort of hypocritical I guess...hm....I don't know to be honest.

Well...I wouldn't like to see that if I were eating. It'd be awkward. It might be a but rude to...but honestly I'm not completely sure on how I would react. Sure, restaurants NEED feeding rooms because HELLO, BABIES GET HUNGRY!! But...I can see why they'd ask the mother to breastfeed in the bathroom if there were no other place to go do it. It's sort of hypocritical I guess...hm....I don't know to be honest.
See WHAT? You would feel nauseated or offended by seeing a mother feed her child a few tables away? You would rather send her into the bathroom to sit on the toilet in a stall to nourish her baby? Yes - BABIES GET HUNGRY!! Why should a mom have to go to another place to breastfeed? Why can't a nursing mother feed her child in the same setting that she's getting fed in? I don't think that there's a need for any special "room" for a nursing mother to be exiled to, just a bit of understanding on the public's part combined with a bit of discretion on the mother's part.

Maybe if more U.S. mothers would nurse in public, rather than allow themselves to be ostracized from human contact by their "condition", the public would become more tolerant.

(OK, ranting over.... breathing returning to normal....whew)

Maybe if more U.S. mothers would nurse in public, rather than allow themselves to be ostracized from human contact by their "condition", the public would become more tolerant.

(OK, ranting over.... breathing returning to normal....whew)

I think you've hit the nail on the head here - when more mothers nurse in public, people will get used to it, and I think in years to come society will look back in amazement at an era when people thought breastfeeding a baby in public was indecent! I have noticed an increase in women nursing publicly in recent years here in Scotland, and one of the biggest contributions to change was the law. Giving mothers the legal right to feed seemed to lend it an air of respectability that many people wouldn't beforehand have allowed it, and I've yet to see anyone offended by it.
The earlier comment about kids possibly seeing it is an important one - I think it's great for kids to see a nursing mother, so they can learn from an early age that breasts are not a sexual object, and that too will contribute to the change in attitude. A young child looking at a nursing mother will see the simple truth of a baby being fed, and will be unaffected by the man-made stigma which colours adult's perceptions.

See WHAT? You would feel nauseated or offended by seeing a mother feed her child a few tables away? You would rather send her into the bathroom to sit on the toilet in a stall to nourish her baby? Yes - BABIES GET HUNGRY!! Why should a mom have to go to another place to breastfeed? Why can't a nursing mother feed her child in the same setting that she's getting fed in? I don't think that there's a need for any special "room" for a nursing mother to be exiled to, just a bit of understanding on the public's part combined with a bit of discretion on the mother's part.

:agree: It's important not to forget that the baby is eating, and as young or as small asbabies might be, they're still human beings and don't deserve t oeat in bathroom. I read once on a website supporting breastfeeding in public about a family who was eating in a resturaunt. A man at another table was complaining about the mother breastfeeding her baby, and the father told the man that his wife would gladly feed the baby in the bathroom if he (the guy at the other table) would eat his dinner with the baby's dirty diaper on the table. I can't find the site now, but maybe I'll try again later. Anyway, it doesn't matter where the story came from or even if it's true or not, but it makes the point that, yes, the baby's eating.

I do think women should be discreet about it, though, and I know a lot of mothers are. But being sent off to a separate feeding room or a bathroom is going too far.

To be honest, I think a separate feeding room also has its advantage. The mother and the baby are alone and don't have to bother of other people and it's quiet there. A toilet would be disgusting though.

Maybe it'd be for the best if public places had rooms so people who are scandalised by breastfeeding can hide when they see it. :)

Maybe it'd be for the best if public places had rooms so people who are scandalised by breastfeeding can hide when they see it. :)

Now that is a good idea! :clap:

I've never understood the scandalised reaction .. it's just odd. I mean - these people don't complain if a woman walks in wearing a top slashed to the navel and no bra, which is way more exposing in my opinion. I never even really notice much when my sister is feeding her baby - it's that discreet. You certainly can't see anything!

Is it even possible to build such a big room? :p

And my comment wasn't meant to be negative. There are babies who can not eat when it is loud around them. My cousin was one of these. My aunt always had to leave the room where there were many people. In this case I think it's the best when you have a room where you are on your own.

And most of the people who are for breastfeeding in public are mothers here. They know the situation when the baby gets hungry. But for people, like me, who never had a child it's hard to think like a mother.

I know, it really is discreet, you can't see anything...unless, you know, you're some sort of pervert who swings around and goes up close and LOOKS or something...in which case you would be disgusting. I don't see why people should have any objection to it. And even they do, here's the solution: DON'T LOOK. I mean, its their business, how should it matter to you?

And most of the people who are for breastfeeding in public are mothers here. They know the situation when the baby gets hungry. But for people, like me, who never had a child it's hard to think like a mother. I've never had a child :). And I'm all for breastfeeding in public. I used to be quite uncomfortable with it (I'm an only child and didn't really see it much), but since I've grown up I've become much more comfortable with that for which breasts are primarily intended. To be quite honest, a lot of it was abandoning my ideas of sexual pretenses.

1. Do you/would you breastfeed your child?
I would, for the benefit that breatmilk tends to have a lot of nutrition in it. It's supposed to be good for the baby while it's growing up.

2. Do you think it’s fair to the mother to breastfeed for an extended period of time?
I don't think it's fair at all. This will cause the milk within the breasts to shorten in supply; if you could call it that. In case the mother had another child, there would be nothing left.

3. When do you think is the right time to wean a child off the breast?
I believe around the age of 1; 1 1/2. I would probably have my child move onto the Gerber baby plan, or something.

4. Do you think that older children actually need the breast milk, or do you think it’s more of a comfort thing?
Breastfeeding is actually what makes a child and their mother bond so closely. So, I believe that breastfeeding is meant for comfort and bonding, not for a child's health.

5a. Do you think mothers should be allowed to breastfeed in public?
If it is necessary, yes. Especially if the child needs it at the time of when they are in public.

5c. If you answered yes to question 5a, why do you think others don’t agree with it?
Because of the mother having her breasts shown in public. It would be sort of disgusting to see that, but it's necessary for the child. People should understand that.

6. What do you think of shops/restaurants that have no feeding room and instead tell the mother to feed the child in the ladies toilets?
I have actually never heard of a feeding room. Restaurants and stores should provide one for the mothers, though. I think that would be right for them.

1. Do you/would you breastfeed your child?
If I ever have children, they probably will be breastfed. It's the natural way to lose weight after childbirth, plus it's a function of the body after delivery. So yes.

2. Do you think it’s fair to the mother to breastfeed for an extended period of time?
It depends, really. Personally, I think that children don't need to be breastfed beyond the age when they can have a diet consisting of solid foods, but not being a mother myself, I can't be an authority on this. But yes, it must be taxing to say the least, and it simply can't be done in some cases, especially if the mother has to go to work etc.

3. When do you think is the right time to wean a child off the breast?
When it can have a solid food diet, it won't be so much in need of breast milk anymore. So whatever age that comes at.

4. Do you think that older children actually need the breast milk, or do you think it’s more of a comfort thing?
I do think it's more of a comfort thing, but it's up to the mother's judgement, I suppose.

5a. Do you think mothers should be allowed to breastfeed in public?
Yes. There's nothing obscene about it- and branding the feeding of a baby obscene just shows how perverted society can be. There really isn't any reason to find it objectionable, it's just a mindset, and honestly, if you don't like the sight, don't look.

5b. If you answered no to question 5a, can you give your reasons why it shouldn’t be allowed?
NA

5c. If you answered yes to question 5a, why do you think others don’t agree with it?
As I said, it's a mindset that sees women and their breasts as sexual objects only. There's a lot of mistaken prudishness in society today- topless photographs on tabloid covers or inside pages are ok, but the sight of a mother feeding her child is objectionable? I can understand people having issues with nudity in general, but I really don't think breastfeeding a child comes anywhere in the realm of obscene. People just filter everything through a sexual point of view when actually it shouldn't be.

6. What do you think of shops/restaurants that have no feeding room and instead tell the mother to feed the child in the ladies toilets?
That's disgusting. No one can possibly eat in a toilet- no sane adult would, anyway- so why should babies, who have about one fifth the resistance we do to germs etc be made to do so? It's tantamount to flat-out disrespect for motherhood, not to mention prudishness, and restaurants or shops who do that should be penalised. A feeding room might be a good idea, though, if the baby's less likely to fuss in a quiet zone.

Maybe it'd be for the best if public places had rooms so people who are scandalised by breastfeeding can hide when they see it. :)
If a patron complains, the restaurant should suggest exiling them (and their dinner) to the restroom!! :lol:

6. What do you think of shops/restaurants that have no feeding room and instead tell the mother to feed the child in the ladies toilets?
That's disgusting. No one can possibly eat in a toilet- no sane adult would, anyway- so why should babies, who have about one fifth the resistance we do to germs etc be made to do so?

Exactly, I think that when people think of breastfeeding they just think of a woman exposing her breasts, they forget that the child is eating. It's disgusting to suggest a child should eat in a smelly toilet. I mean, they wouldn't suggest an older child should take their plate into the toilet and eat, so why should a younger child have to?

Oh, i`m too young to talk about this, and i admit i`m not very good informed, but here it goes:
1. Do you/would you breastfeed your child?
Of course. Just like my mother did for me, i would put my baby`s health on the 1st place, and that means breastfeeding from its natural mother. And i will take extra care at what i`ll be eating, for my milk to be as healthier as possible.

2. Do you think it’s fair to the mother to breastfeed for an extended period of time?
I really don`t know about this... But it doesn`t seem right to me :shrug:

3. When do you think is the right time to wean a child off the breast?
When he/she is capable of eating solid food, perhaps around 1 year old...

4. Do you think that older children actually need the breast milk, or do you think it’s more of a comfort thing?
Yes, they do. I don`t know the exact medical explanation for it, but i believe it`s necessary for them. It`s 100% natural and it`s straight from their mother`s.

5a. Do you think mothers should be allowed to breastfeed in public?
Yes, they should, but not quite everywhere (the space should be as private as possible, ie not in a bus!!).On the first place, a mother with a very young baby should avoid public places for the good of their health, but otherwise i don`t see why it should be forbidden (to breastfeed). It`s a natural process that we (almost) all went through.

5c. If you answered yes to question 5a, why do you think others don’t agree with it? Probably they don`t feel confortable when seeing a woman`s naked breast just like that...

6. What do you think of shops/restaurants that have no feeding room and instead tell the mother to feed the child in the ladies toilets?
Well, you can`t expect every shop/restaurant in town to be provided with such a room. It depends on the society, and the place itself. This matter is simillar to the one with the toilets for persons with handicap. Yeah, why aren`t there such toilets everywhere? What shuld those persons do in this case?
So, the first thing that a mother can do to avoid these difficulties is to stay at home as much as she can with her baby, wheere they both feel the most comfortable, and not in a restaurant, or any open place where the young baby can breath bad air and stuff.

If I have children, yes I would breastfeed.

So let me understand you on this. You would breastfeed your child but someone else doing it makes you feel uncomfortable? That makes no sense to me. What makes you different from any other mom who chose to breastfeed?

Like genitals, they are areas which are normally kept private. Women don't expose breasts in public. I'm sorry, this is not logical. This is a purely emotional, gut feeling that I am uncomfortable with women breastfeeding in public. It just doesn't seem proper or decent. It is something which should be done privately.

So if you think it should be done privately, are you going to stay shut in for the entire time you're breastfeeding? I doubt it. You can always bring bottles with you, but the milk or formula has to be kept cold until ready to use-and there isn't always a place to warm them up at. You can always keep a blanket packed but according to you, even that isn't decent. Believe me, when my son is screaming because he's hungry, given the choice of letting him scream at the top of his lungs or whip out my boob, I'll whip out the boob in a heartbeat. I'm sure most people would rather see a little nipple than hear a baby scream.

Also, would watching a cat or dog nursing their young make you uncomfortable? Because it's the same concept. The only difference is that society hasn't made us think of the nipples of a dog or cat as sexual objects.

One more thing. Does watching a baby drink from a bottle make you uncomfortable? Because whether the baby drinks from the breast or bottle, it's the same thing. It's just comes from different sources.

The woman I saw doing it "discreetly" still had the very tip of her nipple sticking out.

I certainly don't think that this particular woman had her nipple sticking out on purpose. I've learned from experience that no matter how hard you try to cover up, sometimes things get exposed. Especially with my son...he likes to squirm.

The reason I got my breasts out in public when I had a young baby was because that baby needed fed, and there is no more suitable feed for a baby than milk fresh from mum. I don't agree that the reason is irrelevant, it's completely relevant! Breastfeeding mums are not thinking 'wow, here's a chance to flash my breasts around, fantastic'.

Thank you for that. People just don't understand that breastfeeding isn't about the mother, it's about giving the best possible nourishment to our babies.

Now when my first child was born, I was not able to breastfeed because of medications I was about to be taking. So when my second child was born, I wasn't going to breastfeed. I didn't like the fact that it seemed as if I would have to go hide away somewhere to feed him if I was out in public. I tried it anyway and I love it. I choose to use something to cover up because that's just my personal choice. I'm a bit shy but not because of my breasts. I don't want to flash my postpartum belly. I have no problem with women who whip it out to nurse with no cover at all. When the baby's hungry, you gotta do what you gotta do. I believe anyone who is uncomfortable with it is because they don't know enough to understand just how wonderful breastfeeding is. Nature gave us mothers the perfect food for our babies and it is our right...no, obligation, to give it to them.

halfbreedlover, I apologize if it seemed I'm picking on you. I'm glad you said you would breastfeed. But I just want you to see that your statements seem contradictory to your decision. I hope that when you do have children, you'll see that breastfeeding isn't something you should be ashamed of. Rather it's something that you should be proud to do. It says to the world, "I'm giving my baby the best food possible because he/she deserves it."

Exactly, I think that when people think of breastfeeding they just think of a woman exposing her breasts, they forget that the child is eating. It's disgusting to suggest a child should eat in a smelly toilet. I mean, they wouldn't suggest an older child should take their plate into the toilet and eat, so why should a younger child have to?

Hmm. I don't really get offended when I see a woman breastfeed, just maybe I feel a little awkward and embarrassed, I don't know, maybe just because I'm young and haven't had a child yet, and I do still see my boobs as more of a sexual organ and not yet a nurturing thing...

I definitely think that I would breastfeed, just because it would be healthier for my baby and that's what's important, but I don't think that I would breastfeed in public. I may not go to the toilet, I would probably slip out to the car, where it's a little more private. Just because I doubt I would be comfortable showing my breasts to the world.

1. Do you/would you breastfeed your child?

If I have children, I think I'd like to.

2. Do you think it’s fair to the mother to breastfeed for an extended period of time?

I agree with previous posters, about how breastfeeding should end only when both the mother and child are ready... however, if it continues through the ages of like 4 and 5... I think then there is a problem

3. When do you think is the right time to wean a child off the breast?[/b]

I think every child/mother combination is different, but 2 years sounds good to me. :p

4. Do you think that older children actually need the breast milk, or do you think it’s more of a comfort thing?

Again, it depends on the situation. With the mother who had to breastfeed her child for 3 years (or however long it was) because of the lactose intolerance, that was a special case, and that is a good a reason as any for an "older child" to still be breastfed.

5a. Do you think mothers should be allowed to breastfeed in public?

Of course! The baby needs to eat, and it's not like *most* women are going to "let their breasts flop around". There may be some that don't care, but I think a lot of women who breastfeed would try and be discreet about it, or at the very least not leave themselves exposed for all the world to see.

5b. If you answered no to question 5a, can you give your reasons why it shouldn’t be allowed?

5c. If you answered yes to question 5a, why do you think others don’t agree with it?

I think with some people it's just a matter of not being comfortable with it.

6. What do you think of shops/restaurants that have no feeding room and instead tell the mother to feed the child in the ladies toilets?

Well, I think that so long as the woman is being discreet about it, there shouldn't even be a need for it. But they should have a place for women to go and breastfeed and not expect them to do it in the bathroom.

I think on one of the posts on here, I read someone's arguement of "well where do you change their diapers" and I would like to say that feeding a child and changing their diapers are two different things. Diapers are changed in the restroom, where we do what the babies do in their diapers. However, we don't eat in the bathroom, so why should babies be forced to? If people are uncomfortable with women breastfeeding where everyone else is in the resturaunt or shop, at least give women an area where they can go and not have to sit on a toilet or have thoughts of "this toilet sure could use a scrubbing" while feeding their baby.

Hmm. I don't really get offended when I see a woman breastfeed, just maybe I feel a little awkward and embarrassed, I don't know, maybe just because I'm young and haven't had a child yet, and I do still see my boobs as more of a sexual organ and not yet a nurturing thing...

I definitely think that I would breastfeed, just because it would be healthier for my baby and that's what's important, but I don't think that I would breastfeed in public. I may not go to the toilet, I would probably slip out to the car, where it's a little more private. Just because I doubt I would be comfortable showing my breasts to the world.
Before I had my children, I was VERY self-consious about showing any part of my body to anyone who wasn't "authorized" to see those parts--modest to the point of being downright prudish about it! After my boys were born, with all of the pre-natal visits then the labor and delivery itself, so many people (medical professionals and family) had already seen whatever I had that I found that it didn't really bother me anymore to have someone accidently catch a glimpse of my flesh.

I know that this sounds immodest, but I think that most of the moms on this thread kinda know what I'm talking about. After being through the miracle of childbirth, your priorities change when it comes to lots of things. This doesn't mean that I didn't cover up when breastfeeding or that I 'flashed my boobs around', but I was a lot more comfortable being natural, rather than obsessed that someone might see something that they weren't supposed to.

Before I had my children, I was VERY self-consious about showing any part of my body to anyone who wasn't "authorized" to see those parts--modest to the point of being downright prudish about it! After my boys were born, with all of the pre-natal visits then the labor and delivery itself, so many people (medical professionals and family) had already seen whatever I had that I found that it didn't really bother me anymore to have someone accidently catch a glimpse of my flesh.

I know that this sounds immodest, but I think that most of the moms on this thread kinda know what I'm talking about. After being through the miracle of childbirth, your priorities change when it comes to lots of things. This doesn't mean that I didn't cover up when breastfeeding or that I 'flashed my boobs around', but I was a lot more comfortable being natural, rather than obsessed that someone might see something that they weren't supposed to.

You're absolutely right Piky, I was exactly the same. The process of pregnancy and childbirth really does strip away all of that learned shameful response to strangers seeing your body - there's nothing like three shift changes of staff watching your most private bits exposed to the world during labour to teach you that exposed flesh doesn't automatically have a sexual connotation! And I do think that your priorities change completely, and you totally forget any sexual connotation to your breasts; they are for feeding your baby first and foremost.

So, the first thing that a mother can do to avoid these difficulties is to stay at home as much as she can with her baby, wheere they both feel the most comfortable, and not in a restaurant, or any open place where the young baby can breath bad air and stuff.

I think it's fantastic that you're going to breastfeed, blaze_cela, but I have to comment on the above - the last thing most mothers want to do with their lovely new baby is be confined to the house. It's not feasible to say mums should stay home as much as possible for months while their babies exclusively breastfeed. Mums and babies are full members of society and should be able to go anywhere, not feel like lepers who have to hide away just to avoid someone else possibly feeling uncomfortable with her feeding her baby.

I think it's fantastic that you're going to breastfeed, blaze_cela, but I have to comment on the above - the last thing most mothers want to do with their lovely new baby is be confined to the house. It's not feasible to say mums should stay home as much as possible for months while their babies exclusively breastfeed. Mums and babies are full members of society and should be able to go anywhere, not feel like lepers who have to hide away just to avoid someone else possibly feeling uncomfortable with her feeding her baby.
Well, told you that i`m not that informed about this... :shrug: I didn`t get the change to interact with mothers that have small babies and ask them about how their life is, regarding that they are sticked to their little ones all the time. It was rather an opinion i expresses, it`s what i would do. I would think more about him/her than me. If i wouldn`t have enough time to take care of my baby, i would hire a nurse or ask for help from my own mother, for example, and not carry the baby with me everywhere i go.
I don`t want to have babies, but if i`ll do (and that`s probably going to be very far in the future), they will mean everything to me, and their health will be on the 1st place.

1. Do you/would you breastfeed your child?

I did my first child, but it was really difficult and painful. The 2nd I could not as my first did not give us the time to "practice" together.

2. Do you think it’s fair to the mother to breastfeed for an extended period of time?
I dont understand the question. Fair to the mother? There is no forcing her.

3. When do you think is the right time to wean a child off the breast?
When solids are introduced and milk is nolonger a nessesity

4. Do you think that older children actually need the breast milk, or do you think it’s more of a comfort thing?
Comfort. Definately.

5a. Do you think mothers should be allowed to breastfeed in public?
Of course. Its a human right. The baby's human right. If they ban it they should ban eating in public too. Its damn right disgusting. Especially when people chew with their mouths open!

5c. If you answered yes to question 5a, why do you think others don’t agree with it?
Because they are uncomfortable with the human anatomy. Maybe they were not themselves breastfed and have a complex about breasts.

6. What do you think of shops/restaurants that have no feeding room and instead tell the mother to feed the child in the ladies toilets?
Its their private policy. They can do what they want. If a restaurant want to encourage it they will provide a place just like there are plenty of high chairs where kids are welcome.

Well, told you that i`m not that informed about this... I didn`t get the change to interact with mothers that have small babies and ask them about how their life is, regarding that they are sticked to their little ones all the time. It was rather an opinion i expresses, it`s what i would do. I would think more about him/her than me. If i wouldn`t have enough time to take care of my baby, i would hire a nurse or ask for help from my own mother, for example, and not carry the baby with me everywhere i go.
I don`t want to have babies, but if i`ll do (and that`s probably going to be very far in the future), they will mean everything to me, and their health will be on the 1st place.A small baby is really quite portable! With a pram, a strap on baby carrier, or a car seat you can go anywhere. You need a bag with nappies and stuff, but it's easy to take your baby out with you, especially if you breastfeed, and don't need to worry about how many bottles of formula you might need, or about being delayed. Now the first few weeks, you don't know whether you are standing on your head or your heels, but once you get settled into a rutine, it is beneficial for both mother and baby to get out a bit. The baby needs fresh air and daylight, just like you do.

Many people even take small babies on holiday - it's actually much easier with a baby than it is with a toddler.

A small baby is really quite portable! With a pram, a strap on baby carrier, or a car seat you can go anywhere. You need a bag with nappies and stuff, but it's easy to take your baby out with you, especially if you breastfeed, and don't need to worry about how many bottles of formula you might need, or about being delayed. Now the first few weeks, you don't know whether you are standing on your head or your heels, but once you get settled into a rutine, it is beneficial for both mother and baby to get out a bit. The baby needs fresh air and daylight, just like you do.

Many people even take small babies on holiday - it's actually much easier with a baby than it is with a toddler.

I know that's certainly how I'd do it when/if I have kids! I would feel way too confined and locked up if I had to stay home all the time just because I have a baby.

1. Do you/would you breastfeed your child?

I've never really thought that there was an option not to breatfeed. It is not very common not to breastfeed where I live.

So, I am most likely going to do it too.


5a. Do you think mothers should be allowed to breastfeed in public?

Women who breastfeed in public do not bother me, I am used to it, and I don't really take much notice.

I think it depends largely on where you are whether you should breastfeed in public or not. In some countries it would be okay, in others it would not.

5c. If you answered yes to question 5a, why do you think others don’t agree with it?


Umm, I don't know... I don't really no anyone who has a problem with it. Maybe males more than females would object, but it's not as though they've never seen a breast before.

In my experience, it's often females who object (I don't know too many males who would object to the sight of a breast). Many times, females who fit one or more of the following are the ones who object:

Weren't raised around breastfeeding.
Are more prudish.
Consider the body to be sort of 'untouchable'.

In my experience, it's often females who object (I don't know too many males who would object to the sight of a breast). Many times, females who fit one or more of the following are the ones who object:

Weren't raised around breastfeeding.
Are more prudish.
Consider the body to be sort of 'untouchable'.




what does "prudish" mean?

Sorry, I no English guud spaek. Or rather, my vocabulary is limited.

I've never really thought that there was an option not to breatfeed. It is not very common not to breastfeed where I live.
Some women can't breastfeed either because they have too less milk or they have problems (it hurts etc) so they use the bottle.


what does "prudish" mean?


Prudish means when you are are modest about sexual related things, like showing yourself naked etc.

Before I had my children, I was VERY self-consious about showing any part of my body to anyone who wasn't "authorized" to see those parts--modest to the point of being downright prudish about it! After my boys were born, with all of the pre-natal visits then the labor and delivery itself, so many people (medical professionals and family) had already seen whatever I had that I found that it didn't really bother me anymore to have someone accidently catch a glimpse of my flesh.

I know that this sounds immodest, but I think that most of the moms on this thread kinda know what I'm talking about. After being through the miracle of childbirth, your priorities change when it comes to lots of things. This doesn't mean that I didn't cover up when breastfeeding or that I 'flashed my boobs around', but I was a lot more comfortable being natural, rather than obsessed that someone might see something that they weren't supposed to.

Thanks for your reply. I can kind of see what you mean. I am planning on having kids within the next 2-5 years, and I guess I need all the insight I can get :lol:

But I'm sure that I'll be alright with it. I've always known that I would breastfeed, just for the health issue alone, and also because it seems to me to be more natural.

And I know that there are a lot of changes after having a baby, as in tolerance to poop, puke, etc. (haha) So I don't know. Maybe, once I had the baby, I wouldn't have a problem breast-feeding in public.

I guess what it boils down to is that it is the most totally natural thing to do, that's why we HAVE breasts, I guess. It's been done for thousands of years, so I'm sure I'll feel alright about it.

I guess what it boils down to is that it is the most totally natural thing to do, that's why we HAVE breasts, I guess. It's been done for thousands of years, so I'm sure I'll feel alright about it.

We should try and make something like muscles something that men get uncomfortable with, the same way they sexualized breasts so that women are uncomfortable breastfeeding/seeing someone breastfeed in public... that way they'll know how we feel! Because breasts do exist for the breastfeeding, not for men's sexual pleasure...

We should try and make something like muscles something that men get uncomfortable with, the same way they sexualized breasts so that women are uncomfortable breastfeeding/seeing someone breastfeed in public... that way they'll know how we feel! Because breasts do exist for the breastfeeding, not for men's sexual pleasure...
:lol: :lol: :lol:

Interesting idea.

But you know the male ego, like they would ever give in to that.

And... well... honestly, I thought that breasts DO also (in addition to breastfeeding) serve as... um... sexual pleasure.

A small baby is really quite portable! With a pram, a strap on baby carrier, or a car seat you can go anywhere. You need a bag with nappies and stuff, but it's easy to take your baby out with you, especially if you breastfeed, and don't need to worry about how many bottles of formula you might need, or about being delayed. Now the first few weeks, you don't know whether you are standing on your head or your heels, but once you get settled into a rutine, it is beneficial for both mother and baby to get out a bit. The baby needs fresh air and daylight, just like you do.

Many people even take small babies on holiday - it's actually much easier with a baby than it is with a toddler.
Ah, i wasn`t so sure that mothers with small babies can be so libertine. Now you convinced me :). It`s just i haven`t heard much about about this issue before. Or maybe it`s the place, because you rarely see mothers carrying small babies around here...or maybe i just didn`t encounter much of them :shrug:.
Because breasts do exist for the breastfeeding, not for men's sexual pleasure...
Very true...:lol:

Because breasts do exist for the breastfeeding, not for men's sexual pleasure...
There's nothing to say that they can't be for BOTH! My husband (who happens to be a 'boob' man :rolleyes:) was able to 'give them up' for a while without much trouble, but they've once again become the turn-on to him that they were before the kids were born. :blush:

Unfortunately, our society just can't seem to separate a breast's sexual function from it's nourishing one. It's one of the major reasons that breastfeeding has become such a controversial topic.....:agree:

In my experience, it's often females who object (I don't know too many males who would object to the sight of a breast). Many times, females who fit one or more of the following are the ones who object:

Weren't raised around breastfeeding.
Are more prudish.
Consider the body to be sort of 'untouchable'.


I think you're missing a very large part of why some women don't like breastfeeding. They just don't like kids, don't want kids and/or hate it when women are shown being "Moos", lactating flunkies or walking milk factories that know nothing of the "real" world, want careers or have less than 3 kids. I'm not saying that's how I feel, but wander on over to a Child Free website, blog or the like and watch the hate and stereotypes fly.
And if you're child free, it's not usually because of the reasons above either.

That's true, although I was referring specifically to people who object to public breastfeeding, not to all those who object to breastfeeding in general. But we can make number four on the list 'feminist' :).

Unfortunately, our society just can't seem to separate a breast's sexual function from it's nourishing one. It's one of the major reasons that breastfeeding has become such a controversial topic.....:agree:
It's because 99% of the breast you see in public, on TV etc have a sexual background. So it's hard to switch to "that is not sexual" within seconds when you see a breastfeeding mother when you get used to breast as sexual objects and mostly the first impression counts.

I think you're missing a very large part of why some women don't like breastfeeding. They just don't like kids, don't want kids and/or hate it when women are shown being "Moos", lactating flunkies or walking milk factories that know nothing of the "real" world, want careers or have less than 3 kids. I'm not saying that's how I feel, but wander on over to a Child Free website, blog or the like and watch the hate and stereotypes fly.
And if you're child free, it's not usually because of the reasons above either.
I totally agree here. That's the most valid point at least for me.

But for the "less than 3 kids". 3 kids are a lot here. For some people it's already an extanded family. You're lucky when you find a family with at least one kid. Kids the endangered species.
:nc:

Before I had my children, I was VERY self-consious about showing any part of my body to anyone who wasn't "authorized" to see those parts--modest to the point of being downright prudish about it! After my boys were born, with all of the pre-natal visits then the labor and delivery itself, so many people (medical professionals and family) had already seen whatever I had that I found that it didn't really bother me anymore to have someone accidently catch a glimpse of my flesh.

:lol: That's so true! I know I used to be embarassed just to go to the store to buy underwear and bras. Having all your "goodies" exposed to the world over and over again changes all that. After having two kids, I have no shame whatsoever!

the last thing most mothers want to do with their lovely new baby is be confined to the house.

Absolutely!! I know when I had my kids all I wanted to do was show them to everyone. But then it is good to just stay home for at least the first couple of weeks. After all, having a baby is exhausting. Not to mention everyone, including the baby, has to get adjusted to all the changes that come with having one.

And I know that there are a lot of changes after having a baby, as in tolerance to poop, puke, etc.

The comic Jeff Foxworthy has a bit about how mom's will clean up anything and "A mother's spit is the chemical equivalent to Formula 409". It's so true--even for fathers. My husband used to have an incredibly weak stomach for such things. He had to get over that quickly because he certainly can't let his kids sit in a poopy diaper just because I'm not home and his stomach can't handle it.

Some women can't breastfeed either because they have too less milk or they have problems (it hurts etc) so they use the bottle.

I couldn't nurse my first child because I was starting chemotherapy two weeks after she was born. My doctor's weren't sure the effect it would have on my milk so we agreed it was best for me to not even try. I'm currently nursing my second baby with no problem. But I'll always feel as if I missed out on something because I couldn't do it the first time, even though it was because of something beyond my control.

And for the record, breastfeeding DOES hurt. At least for the first couple of weeks. Once the baby gets the hang of it and your nipples get conditioned for it, it hardly hurts at all. Just use lots of lanolin cream! :tu:

While women now think breast feeding in public with out trying to be a little modest about it or not wearing maturnity clothes and letting your pregnant belly hang out is cool or modern, I must say it is inconsiderate. They make light weight recieving blankets ideal for covering yourself while breast feeding so I don't have to explain to my ten year old why that woman is doing that in public. And your big pregnant belly hanging out... NO ONE WANTS TO SEE THAT! The only one that wants to see that is the proud parents.

While women now think breast feeding in public with out trying to be a little modest about it or not wearing maturnity clothes and letting your pregnant belly hang out is cool or modern, I must say it is inconsiderate. They make light weight recieving blankets ideal for covering yourself while breast feeding so I don't have to explain to my ten year old why that woman is doing that in public. And your big pregnant belly hanging out... NO ONE WANTS TO SEE THAT! The only one that wants to see that is the proud parents.

??

There's nothing wrong with showing a little skin. What is so offensive about the human body? I think that big pregnant bellies are very cute.

And I don't understand why it would be such torture to talk about life with your ten year old. It's like breastfeeding is some sort of abomination! :huh:

I am not ashamed of my body and I feel very sorry for people who are.

CelestLBeing

I don't understand why you wouldn't want to explain to your 10 year-old why a woman is breastfeeding? The baby is hungry, thus a mother feeds him/her. Are you just uncomfortable discussing such things with your child?

I am not ashamed of my body and I feel very sorry for people who are.

Hooray! That is exactly the way I feel. I'm stuck in this body for the rest of my life, I'm not going to be ashamed of it.

There's nothing to say that they can't be for BOTH! My husband (who happens to be a 'boob' man :rolleyes:) was able to 'give them up' for a while without much trouble, but they've once again become the turn-on to him that they were before the kids were born. :blush:

Unfortunately, our society just can't seem to separate a breast's sexual function from it's nourishing one. It's one of the major reasons that breastfeeding has become such a controversial topic.....:agree:

Well, of course they can be for both purposes. It only becomes a problem when it comes down to what's being discussed on this thread: breasts have been so sexualized it's making some people uncomfortable with being around breastfeeding. But if we could get breasts back to so that women can breastfeed without other women thinking "breasts=sexual", and men can still have their own sexual pleasure without making other women uncomfortable at the thought of breastfeeding, then it'd be all good... however, breasts will continue to be sexualized, and who knows how far it'll go... :scared:

Some women can't breastfeed either because they have too less milk or they have problems (it hurts etc) so they use the bottle. While there are a few women who really can't breastfeed, most of the early problems that cause women to give up and resort to a bottle, are a result of lack of support and poor advice. It doesn't help that the current generation of mothers in our society were predominantly bottlefed themselves and their own mothers are often unable to offer much help with breastfeeding. Some new grans also take their daughter's enthusiasm for breastfeeding as personal criticism. Breastfeeding is on it's way back into our culture after an absence, and the continuity of experience and advice from mother to daughter has been broken. So now we are quite heavily reliant on healthcare professionals to help us get started. Most feeding problems can be fixed, but if the help isn't available, and the mother is told by misguided well-wishers (some of them doctors!) that she "can't" breastfeed, she will give up unnecessarily.
I think you're missing a very large part of why some women don't like breastfeeding. They just don't like kids, don't want kids and/or hate it when women are shown being "Moos", lactating flunkies or walking milk factories that know nothing of the "real" world, want careers or have less than 3 kids. I'm not saying that's how I feel, but wander on over to a Child Free website, blog or the like and watch the hate and stereotypes fly.How very sad, but I think you are right. I guess the sight of a happy baby guzzling away hits a nerve with some people.

You know, it always annoys me when women's rights activists (or any activists) want to replace one stereotype with another. You don't help "the cause" by deriding women for their choices. We need the right to make our own choices without being judged for it, and to accept the choices others make for themselves. Career women who can't stand the sight of a woman breastfeeding sound confused to me!

While women now think breast feeding in public with out trying to be a little modest about it or not wearing maturnity clothes and letting your pregnant belly hang out is cool or modern, I must say it is inconsiderate. They make light weight recieving blankets ideal for covering yourself while breast feeding so I don't have to explain to my ten year old why that woman is doing that in public. And your big pregnant belly hanging out... NO ONE WANTS TO SEE THAT! The only one that wants to see that is the proud parents.Please explain to your ten year old about breastfeeding! Tell him/her what a wonderful way nature provided for a baby to get all the food and drink it needs, and what a beautiful experience breastfeeding can be (after your cracked nipples heal up!).

I was actually very envious of my friend who was heavily pregnant during the summer. It was very hot and she wore a bikini top and shorts in the garden. She looked beautiful.

1. Do you/would you breastfeed your child?
I breastfed both my kids.

2. Do you think it’s fair to the mother to breastfeed for an extended period of time?
How long is extended? But it's up to the parents and the child as long as they feel it's positive for the child.

3. When do you think is the right time to wean a child off the breast?
I personally weaned my kids at six and eight months, but have no problem with up to two years old. I had to stop at six months with my oldest because I physically couldn't get enough calories for both of us, I was eating as much as I could and fell to 105lbs and had no energy, so I had to switch him to formula.

4. Do you think that older children actually need the breast milk, or do you think it’s more of a comfort thing?
Not sure. Are kids who are breastfed longer healthier from receiving more of mom's anti-bodies? I've heard kids who are breastfed have fewer ear infections, does that continue with longer breastfeeding?

5a. Do you think mothers should be allowed to breastfeed in public?
YES!!! I despise when women are told they can't, especially when they're being discrete.

5c. If you answered yes to question 5a, why do you think others don’t agree with it?
I suppose as has already been said, breast=sex. No nudity in public. Although I must admit, occasionally I see someone who is not being very discrete, and it bothers me a little. I'm talking about the women who insist on pulling their shirts up so high you can see their collar bone, not women who don't cover with a blanket. Some kids won't eat under a blanket, and it gets awful hot under there.

6. What do you think of shops/restaurants that have no feeding room and instead tell the mother to feed the child in the ladies toilets?
I've never seen a feeding room and rarely anywhere to sit other than a toilet or the floor. Even when a spot to sit is provided, it's always in the restroom, and I remember getting nasty looks and comments even when feeding my kids in these spots.:rolleyes: I usually fed my kids in the car when we were out.

As to CelestLBeing, I'm sorry you don't feel comfortable explaining this to your ten year old. It's a natural part of life. I prefer my kids (boys 9 and 11) do know about breastfeeding, it's much better than the overly sexualized version they're exposed to through friends and magazines. My kids are very comfortable around breastfeeding, as there have always been babies in our extended family.

I breastfed both of my children. I think we are just now returning to the idea that it is OK to breastfeed, and a very healthy choice for a child. When I had my daughter and decided to breastfeed, my Mom, aunts, mom-in-law were all supportive of the descision- but had no idea what breastfeeding was about. When they had their children the message being given them was- why breastfeed? They were told: modern women don't need to- it's uncivilzed- people in third world nations do that- this is America, we've evloved beyond that. My Mom kept trying to convince me that my daughter had colic because I breastfed her, while my docter said formula might actually make it worse. My mother-in-law had three children and she told me that breastfeeding wasn't even considered an option. I had to explain alot about the benefits of breastfeeding, because they were never told and it really wasn't presented as an option when they had children. Who would have thought such a natural thing could become so taboo in only 30 years or so.

That being said- I think formula is a wonderful invention. I have several friends who tried breastfeeding and it just didn't work for them, or had no desire to do so. One friend was so stressed out about breastfeeding, she called crying everyday for the first three weeks of her baby's life. It was actually interfering with her being able to bond with her child- she felt like a failure. I finally told her, If the worst thing that happens is that you can't breastfeed- you're not doing too bad.

I am just glad that breastfeeding is being discussed openly again by doctors, hospital staff, and other women, so that women are truly able to make an informed choice. That is what being a modern woman is all about!

While women now think breast feeding in public with out trying to be a little modest about it or not wearing maturnity clothes and letting your pregnant belly hang out is cool or modern, I must say it is inconsiderate. They make light weight recieving blankets ideal for covering yourself while breast feeding so I don't have to explain to my ten year old why that woman is doing that in public. And your big pregnant belly hanging out... NO ONE WANTS TO SEE THAT! The only one that wants to see that is the proud parents.

I have to agree with what others have said - surely the opportunity to explain to your son what breastfeeding is all about is a good thing. He then won't grow up with the same issues and hang-ups surrounding public breastfeeding as many of this generation have. As for pregnant bellies, I find them much nicer to see than young girls exposing almost everything. Again pregnant bellies hanging out are not done with a sexual intent, it's just a great way to keep cool!

1. Do you/would you breastfeed your child?
When i have one I'm thinking yes

2. Do you think it’s fair to the mother to breastfeed for an extended period of time?
No at some point it has to stop and the longer it goes on the harder it's going to be on the child and the mother.

3. When do you think is the right time to wean a child off the breast?
At maybe a year any longer than that isn't really needed i mean the kid has to start eating food.

4. Do you think that older children actually need the breast milk, or do you think it’s more of a comfort thing?
It's surely more comfort, like i said above a year should be enough, any older and the child should start eating solids when they get their teeth and so can get all the nutrients they need from that.

5a. Do you think mothers should be allowed to breastfeed in public?
Yes i mean why shouldn't they.

5c. If you answered yes to question 5a, why do you think others don’t agree with it?
Not sure probably indecent exposer but i don't agree.

6. What do you think of shops/restaurants that have no feeding room and instead tell the mother to feed the child in the ladies toilets?
Thats not a bad idea, maybe they should have one in family restraints i mean i don't think a toilet is very apealing. A chair to sit on for a start would be nice i think.

While women now think breast feeding in public with out trying to be a little modest about it or not wearing maturnity clothes and letting your pregnant belly hang out is cool or modern, I must say it is inconsiderate. They make light weight recieving blankets ideal for covering yourself while breast feeding so I don't have to explain to my ten year old why that woman is doing that in public. And your big pregnant belly hanging out... NO ONE WANTS TO SEE THAT! The only one that wants to see that is the proud parents.

My four year old sees my boobs hanging out all the time. If I'm not feeding my son then I'm pumping out milk. I made no attempt to hide it from her. Why should I? I have the perfect opportunity to teach her about something that is so natural. In the distant future when she has kids, I hope that she can look back on the year she saw her brother being fed and know nursing is a great thing to do.

As for pregnant bellies, in my experience everyone always seemed to enjoy my big belly. I think the only person who didn't like it was me. It's not that I didn't want to be pregnant, I just didn't like the fact that I was fat--even though I knew it was only temporary. I see nothing wrong with a woman exposing her big belly. If your proud of carrying your child, by all means flaunt it!

breast feeding is natrual end of, should always be allowed in public for end of the day that is their main purpose

I'm sorry (don't kill me), but I don't think women should breastfeed in public. It's something private between mother and child and it should stay that way. I don't like seeing women breastfeeding in public. A woman should take a bottle with her when going out.

Just to add, my mother breastfed me, but never in public. It's just something that shouldn't be done.

1. Do you/would you breastfeed your child?

I breast-fed all but one of my children. I don't look back on it as an experience I'd care to repeat.


2. Do you think it’s fair to the mother to breastfeed for an extended period of time?

Nope.


3. When do you think is the right time to wean a child off the breast?

About the same time they are old enough to negotiate drinking from a cup.


4. Do you think that older children actually need the breast milk, or do you think it’s more of a comfort thing?

Comfort, for sure, and as much for Mom as the child.


5a. Do you think mothers should be allowed to breastfeed in public?

Yes.


5b. If you answered no to question 5a, can you give your reasons why it shouldn’t be allowed?

N/A


5c. If you answered yes to question 5a, why do you think others don’t agree with it?

Perhaps because they find it distasteful? I don't care personally to observe it and will look away whenever I encounter it.


6. What do you think of shops/restaurants that have no feeding room and instead tell the mother to feed the child in the ladies toilets?

I think Mom needs to patronise other shops and restaurants that do have the facilities to accommodate her.

I'm sorry (don't kill me), but I don't think women should breastfeed in public. It's something private between mother and child and it should stay that way. I don't like seeing women breastfeeding in public. A woman should take a bottle with her when going out.

Just to add, my mother breastfed me, but never in public. It's just something that shouldn't be done.I have no intention of killing you, but can you give us a better reason than because you don't like it? Nobody is asking you to watch.

I have no intention of killing you, but can you give us a better reason than because you don't like it? Nobody is asking you to watch.

Exactly. Staring is quite rude.

I find it distasteful. You don't want to look, but it so happens that you can't help yourself but notice. I wouldn't mind it if women were descrete. If they can't be descrete, they should take a bottle.

I find your attitude distasteful, but I wouldn't think of stopping you expressing it.

I find it distasteful. You don't want to look, but it so happens that you can't help yourself but notice. I wouldn't mind it if women were descrete. If they can't be descrete, they should take a bottle.See, when the baby is hungry, he doesn't care whether or not you find his food distasteful. He needs to be fed. There are people who object strongly to a glimpse of female flesh, but "I find it distasteful" is just another way of saying "I don't like it". You don't explain what is so bad about it.

See, when the baby is hungry, he doesn't care whether or not you find his food distasteful. He needs to be fed. There are people who object strongly to a glimpse of female flesh, but "I find it distasteful" is just another way of saying "I don't like it". You don't explain what is so bad about it.

I never said there was anything bad or wrong about it. I simply said I found indescretion distasteful. It is my personal opinion.

I never said there was anything bad or wrong about it. I simply said I found indescretion distasteful. It is my personal opinion.Please don't think I'm picking on you, but you have an opinion for a reason. I'm just trying to find out the reason. Maybe you never thought about it before. If you feel strongly enough to ask a mother not to feed her child in front of you unless she brings a bottle, you must have a reason that is more pressing than the child's need for breastmilk.

Please don't think I'm picking on you, but you have an opinion for a reason. I'm just trying to find out the reason. Maybe you never thought about it before. If you feel strongly enough to ask a mother not to feed her child in front of you unless she brings a bottle, you must have a reason that is more pressing than the child's need for breastmilk.

I'm sorry you got that impression. You would never ask a mother not to feed her child in front of me unless she brought a bottle. Trust me, I've been in such a situation (my own mother breastfed my sister and my brother in front of me, my aunts breastfed their children,...). I simply don't feel comfortable. I have to look away.:blush:

I find it distasteful. You don't want to look, but it so happens that you can't help yourself but notice. I wouldn't mind it if women were descrete. If they can't be descrete, they should take a bottle.

Just a little fact here: The more a woman uses a bottle to feed her child, the more likely he won't take the breast because the bottle causes "nipple confusion". Also, the baby will less likely take the breast because it's much easier to get milk out of the bottle.

So what you're saying is that women who breastfeed should become either a shut-in or use a bottle in public simply for the reason of "you just don't like it." I'm sorry, but that reasoning doesn't fly with me.

Trust me, I've been in such a situation (my own mother breastfed my sister and my brother in front of me, my aunts breastfed their children,...). I simply don't feel comfortable. I have to look away.

It sounds to me that you don't have a problem with breastfeeding. You just have a problem with breasts themselves.

I'm sorry you got that impression. You would never ask a mother not to feed her child in front of me unless she brought a bottle. Trust me, I've been in such a situation (my own mother breastfed my sister and my brother in front of me, my aunts breastfed their children,...). I simply don't feel comfortable. I have to look away.It sounds like you are just shy about breasts then. There isn't anything shameful about them, though. They are wonderful pieces of feeding equipment, and they happen to be nice to look at and provide sexual pleasure as well. We are socially conditioned to think of breasts as "indecent". But feeding a baby isn't indecent behaviour and women don't do it to entertain or offend onlookers, as you know.

Just a little fact here: The more a woman uses a bottle to feed her child, the more likely he won't take the breast because the bottle causes "nipple confusion". Also, the baby will less likely take the breast because it's much easier to get milk out of the bottle. True. It's also an awful lot of work to express and store milk, keep it cool in your bag, and heat it to the right temperature before feeding. Every single piece of equipment you use has to be sterilised too. It's much easier to give the baby fresh, sterile milk at just the right temperature, straight from the breast. Breastmilk (once feeding is established) is the ultimate convenience food!

I can't believe how far people can take only one comment. I only expressed my opinion - that I feel uncomfortable. You don't have to regard me as sad case or attack me for having a different opinion.

Anyway, I'm glad we finally understand each other. I really don't have anything against breastfeeding, but I feel uncomfortable. That's why I mind seeing it. There's nothing wrong with it. I guess it's just me.

I can't believe how far people can take only one comment. I only expressed my opinion - that I feel uncomfortable. You don't have to regard me as sad case or attack me for having a different opinion.Sorry! That's what we do here! It is a discussion forum, after all. You were not attacked, but we were interested in why you feel that way. Sometimes it helps you understand and reevaluate your own feelings if you look at the reasons behind them.

See WHAT? You would feel nauseated or offended by seeing a mother feed her child a few tables away? You would rather send her into the bathroom to sit on the toilet in a stall to nourish her baby? Yes - BABIES GET HUNGRY!! Why should a mom have to go to another place to breastfeed? Why can't a nursing mother feed her child in the same setting that she's getting fed in? I don't think that there's a need for any special "room" for a nursing mother to be exiled to, just a bit of understanding on the public's part combined with a bit of discretion on the mother's part.

Maybe if more U.S. mothers would nurse in public, rather than allow themselves to be ostracized from human contact by their "condition", the public would become more tolerant.

(OK, ranting over.... breathing returning to normal....whew)

Did I every say that I'd feel disgusted? Did I say I WOULD RATHER HAVE THE MOTHER GO TO THE BATHROOM? NO: I SAID I CAN SEE WHY RESTAURAANTS WOULD ASK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! You need to reread what I had said. And SEE WHAT? Um, maybe someone's breast? And did I say that it's right? No, it's the retaurants fault for not having feeding rooms BUT I CAN SEE WHY THEY WOULD ASK. There's no need to jump down my throat. That's my opinion, don't like it? Too bad. Even if I were breastfeeding my child I would feel umcomfortable breast feednig my child in public. Why? Because I value MY pirvacy. Now, don't think I'm saying that moms would breastfeed in public don't BECAUSE THAT IS WHAT I AM NOT SAYING. For my own body, I would be uncomfortable. As I said before different people (myself included) view a woman's body sacred. So, as I said before, it would just be weird to see....a woman breastfeeding her child. Now, I'm not saying I'd rant and rave about how "wrong it is" I'd just look away. No biggie.

About the whole "ostracizing" thing, I dno't thik many people do. It's just not considered a normal thing in society. Sad, but true. Yes, I agree, if it were done more often people would get the sticks out of the behinds, but until then, there's no way everyone is gonig to be happy with it since it's out of the norm. that's why there are (and should be) designated feeding rooms. and also, im repeating myself 30945703485 times, i wouldn't want people staring at me while im breastfeeding my baby.

Even if I were breastfeeding my child I would feel umcomfortable breast feednig my child in public.


Then what? Do you plan to cut yourself off from the outside world for an entire year while you feed your child? Honestly, that's just not feasible.

If a mother is uncomfortable about any aspect of breastfeeding in the slightest then I really don't think that she should partake in it. Babies are strong recepters of emotion. If a baby senses discomfort then it will feel uncomfortable and hence, will not want to nurse. All you'll have left is a crying baby that will get worse as your comfort level decreases.

Then again, I used to feel uncomfortable about nudity until I had my kids. Trust me, all that weirdness about being naked goes away REAL fast when you're sitting spread eagle in stirrups!

1. Do you/would you breastfeed your child?
I did, all three.

2. Do you think it’s fair to the mother to breastfeed for an extended period of time?
It depends on the mother. Some mothers really enjoy it. Others, like me, feel rather proud of themselves for sticking with it until the child is old enough for whole milk.

3. When do you think is the right time to wean a child off the breast?
For me, 11 to 11 1/2 months. It's a very personal thing. However, I think that a four year old child walking up to the mother and helping themselves is a bit much.

4. Do you think that older children actually need the breast milk, or do you think it’s more of a comfort thing? Older than about a year, it's a comfort thing.

5a. Do you think mothers should be allowed to breastfeed in public? Of course, if they're modest about it.


5c. If you answered yes to question 5a, why do you think others don’t agree with it?
Lack of understanding, perhaps?

6. What do you think of shops/restaurants that have no feeding room and instead tell the mother to feed the child in the ladies toilets?
I usually went out to the car. I can't imagine having to use a toilet!

My last two babies never took a bottle. I tried a few times and the baby just got mad because she wanted me, not some funny-tasting substitute. I find it rather annoying that when women stay modest and don't call attention to themselves, people still make a big deal out of it. The kid's got to eat, for heaven's sake!

About the whole "ostracizing" thing, I dno't thik many people do. It's just not considered a normal thing in society. Sad, but true. Yes, I agree, if it were done more often people would get the sticks out of the behinds, but until then, there's no way everyone is gonig to be happy with it since it's out of the norm. that's why there are (and should be) designated feeding rooms.While designated feeding rooms, with comfy chairs and a peaceful atmosphere would be lovely, breastfeeding in public is not going be become more accepted by hiding it away - you just said it yourself - if more people fed in public, it would become generally accepted. Excluding breastfeeding mothers from public places is counterproductive in this respect.

You know, some people might be more inclined to participate in this discussion of objecting opinions weren't jumped on like the offended were harpies.

Some people would look away and or find it not appealing when seeing a woman breastfeed. But then, if someone says they stare then they get jumped on for being a pervert.
I see anabel and others jumping all over BadEyeBella for saying she would be uncomfortable but I don't see anyone jumping all over purplehawk for her personal reply to 5c. "Perhaps because they find it distasteful? I don't care personally to observe it and will look away whenever I encounter it."

You know, some people have different opinions here. It doesn't make them anti-women, anti-children, feminazis, bad mothers or need to be harrassed about their personal opinion on breastfeeding. For pete's sake people.

Honestly? I don't want to see women's breasts hanging out all over either. I grew up in a household where nudity wasn't taboo and neither was breastfeeding. I breastfed all my kids, and I still feel this way. I consider it a very private and personal time with my kids and I'd rather not treat my child like a purse with a breast attached, walking around the Target while I shop for shoes. *shrugs*
I also only breastfed my kids for about 4-6 months. Does that make me a bad mommy to the rest of you that absolutely love breastfeeding? Did I miss out on personal time with my babies because I stopped (I'm sure in many of your opinions) too early? Are my children now scarred for life?

Honestly, I've never seen such crass harassment of posters in what should be a civil enviroment ( as opposed to the abortion threads or the like.)

Nice post, Oracle. :tu: I think they didn't jump all over me because I answered "yes" to whether women should be allowed to breastfeed in public. On the other hand, it is also pretty obvious I'm not a big LaLache supporter.

No baby was ever harmed by being fed Similac from a bottle, nor was he or she less nurtured than a baby fed from his mother's breast. I base those comments on personal experience with my own babies and my six grandchildren, some of whom were breastfed and others from a bottle. All are positively thriving.

These are discussion threads, where opinions are voiced and looked at from all angles. Just because someone asks a question or makes an assumption about your point of view based soley on what you typed in, doesn't mean that they think that you are a terrible person.
All I was trying to do is get some of the people who object to breastfeeding in public to examine their own reasoning as to WHY they hold that particular opinion -- and then explain that view to the rest of us. I apologize if the phrasing or examples that I used offended anyone, but I'm entitled to my opinion, as well!

As far as the post that you said that I should read again, NinaRules -- I did - and still stand by the post that I made at the time. I was mainly objecting to your idea that restaurants and stores have the right to ask the mother to go elsewhere or that 'feeding rooms' need to become a standard fixture in public venues. I just don't like the idea of a woman having to leave her table, her companions, and her dinner when it's pretty discrete and convenient to feed the baby right then and there. That's my opinion, anyway.
You've probably been in the presence of a lot more breastfeeding women than you are aware of, because they can be (and usually are) so discrete about the whole process.

I see anabel and others jumping all over BadEyeBella for saying she would be uncomfortable but I don't see anyone jumping all over purplehawk for her personal reply to 5c. "Perhaps because they find it distasteful? I don't care personally to observe it and will look away whenever I encounter it."

Because Purp make the dinstinction that some people who find it distasteful accept it and look away rather than saying that other people shouldn't breastfeed in public because the poster thinks it's distasteful.

1. Do you/would you breastfeed your child?
I hope so. It's much better for babies to be breastfed, but not all women are able to do it.

2. Do you think it’s fair to the mother to breastfeed for an extended period of time?
Depends what you mean by extended. I have no problem with it up to about 18 months - 2 years maximum. I think the women who go on for longer than that, certainly the women who are breast feeding school age children, are meeting their own needs, not the needs of the children.

3. When do you think is the right time to wean a child off the breast?
Reducing breast feeding should start when the child starts to eat solid food, but could continue at a reduced rate up to 2 years.

4. Do you think that older children actually need the breast milk, or do you think it’s more of a comfort thing?
I don't think there's any need for children to be breastfed after the age of 2. I really think that's about the women not wanting to let go.

5a. Do you think mothers should be allowed to breastfeed in public?
It's an offence in Scotland to prevent a woman breastfeeding in a public place, quite rightly.

5c. If you answered yes to question 5a, why do you think others don’t agree with it?
I think breasts are over sexualised in Western society, and I think some people are just prudish. Most women who breastfeed are able to do it discreetly, it's not like they're sitting there flashing their breasts to all and sundry - and even if they were - they're feeding, not pouting and posing. I'd far rather a woman just got on and fed her child, than have to listen to it screaming.

6. What do you think of shops/restaurants that have no feeding room and instead tell the mother to feed the child in the ladies toilets?
I'm not sure that everywhere should have to have a specific feeding room, but I do agree that it's unacceptable to tell women to breastfeed in a toilet. On the other hand, someone I know saw a woman change her baby's nappy on bench in the eating area of a restaurant. I don't think that's acceptable either. If it's not acceptable to feed a baby in a toilet, it's not acceptable to turn an eating area into a toilet.

I'm not sure that everywhere should have to have a specific feeding room, but I do agree that it's unacceptable to tell women to breastfeed in a toilet. On the other hand, someone I know saw a woman change her baby's nappy on bench in the eating area of a restaurant. I don't think that's acceptable either. If it's not acceptable to feed a baby in a toilet, it's not acceptable to turn an eating area into a toilet.

I think that the topic of breastfeeding is entirely too subjective and personal for any one person to have the answers for anyone else (as I'm sure most would agree).

I think that those who can probably should breastfeed, but a lot of the emphasis on the benefits of breastfeeding needs to be toned down a bit.

Motherhood isn't always an easy transition for first-time mothers (or second- third-time mothers). Hormone levels can be out of control and emotions can be almost manic depressive. It places a lot of pressure on young mothers to breast feed, and not all infants take to the breast. A number of mothers feel inadequate or defective if their babies won't breastfeed because so much emphasis is placed on the physical and emotional benefits of breastfeeding.

I think women need to know what other options are out there and should prepare themselves, emotionally, for different scenarios (like the baby being allergic to breast milk).
Each woman's experience as a mother is different.

I don't really see what all the fuss is about where breastfeeding in public is concerned. I have never really noticed any woman flaunting her breastfeeding in a public space. Any time I have ever observed a woman breastfeeding in public it has been done very discreetly. And I have looked away out of respect for the woman's privacy.

Let's not forget, sometimes a woman will actually lactate in response to her baby's cry--and breastfeeding immediately becomes an imperative. Somtimes feeding in public is entirely out of necessity and is in no way a matter of the mother's shamelessness or lack of proper pride or want of privacy.

It places a lot of pressure on young mothers to breast feed, and not all infants take to the breast. A number of mothers feel inadequate or defective if their babies won't breastfeed because so much emphasis is placed on the physical and emotional benefits of breastfeeding.

I think women need to know what other options are out there and should prepare themselves, emotionally, for different scenarios (like the baby being allergic to breast milk).

What you've said here is very good. My daughter's eldest son emphatically did not take to breastfeeding. I visited one morning a few weeks after his birth and found her in tears and the baby distinctly unsettled. She had called her coach, who urged her to keep offering the breast - despite the fact her child was pushing her away and refusing to eat by that venue. My heart still aches at the pain and sense of inadequacy and rejection my daughter felt that day. We talked through it, spoke to the baby's doctor, and by mid-afternoon the little guy was happily chugging down formula from a bottle. It took all my mother's ability to soothe my child, however, and help her see she was in no way a failure as a mother herself. If that coach had showed up that afternoon, I would have been hard-pressed not to bite her head off. Then again, my son-in-law might have beat me to it.

My youngest was one of those rare kids who was allergic to breast milk. Indeed, it was soon obvious that he was allergic to almost everything in his environment, whether imbibed or inhaled.

I don't care for the militancy of some women who successfully breastfeed their children, nor do I care for the implied guilt trip they telegraph to women who don't or can't.

While I certainly understand why some women choose not to breastfeed, and while I am more than aware that there are some mothers out there who just can't do it, for whatever reason, I think that the benefits of breastfeeding still should be emphasized, for a couple of reasons.
First, a mother who cannot breastfeed is much more a rarity than not - women haven't been using the bottle long enough for the evolutionary process to rid our bodies of that ability.
Second, breastfeeding, if done successfully and correctly, does have benefits for the mother too: You know all that weight that mama gained during pregnancy? If a baby is breastfed properly and on demand, then mama will use up 500-1000 calories a day. It's been called nature's easiest diet. Breastfeeding was also meant to be a natural form of contraception: typically (and noticed especially in poorer countries), a breastfeeding mother does not get pregnant for several years if she continues breastfeeding. In the western world, it is different, however, because the fat that we have on our bodies means that the contraceptive effect doesn't really work so well. Also, it does reduce the risk of non-genetic breast cancer.
Third, babies who breastfeed do recieve a tremendoes amount of benefits: they gain physical closeness to the mother, they get the proper nutrients (that nature, not Nestle, intended), help with their immune systems (fewer respiratory and bacterial infections, help with and against staphoccocali and e-coli, which are diarreah causing organisms. Plus, there are less instances of juvenile diabetes, athsma, middle ear infections, breast cancer, and irritable bowl syndrome.
As stated before, however, I am one of those people who would give the mother the choice of whether or not she wants to breastfeed: after all, if breastfeeding is bad for the mother, the child is not going to enjoy it - if the mother is worried or upset, the child is going to pick up on that. In this case, I'd say that what works best for the mother is best for the child.
However, I don't think that mothers who choose to breastfeed should be ostracized from the world around them. In the culture that we are in, I do think that they should be discrete, but I don't believe that they should have to completely lock themselves away in the bathroom stalls, either.

I think that those who can probably should breastfeed, but a lot of the emphasis on the benefits of breastfeeding needs to be toned down a bit.

Motherhood isn't always an easy transition for first-time mothers (or second- third-time mothers). Hormone levels can be out of control and emotions can be almost manic depressive. It places a lot of pressure on young mothers to breast feed, and not all infants take to the breast. A number of mothers feel inadequate or defective if their babies won't breastfeed because so much emphasis is placed on the physical and emotional benefits of breastfeeding.

I think women need to know what other options are out there and should prepare themselves, emotionally, for different scenarios (like the baby being allergic to breast milk).
Each woman's experience as a mother is different.


Let's not forget, sometimes a woman will actually lactate in response to her baby's cry--and breastfeeding immediately becomes an imperative. Somtimes feeding in public is entirely out of necessity and is in no way a matter of the mother's shamelessness or lack of proper pride or want of privacy.

I understand what you're saying. My first child was strictly bottle fed because I could not breastfeed under doctor's orders. Other than having a bout with colic, she is perfectly healthy and normal.

My second child, who is 3 months old, is getting both bottle and breast. I wasn't going to breastfeed because if I did, it actually gave my husband an excuse not to help out. But I gave it a shot when he was 5 days old. Mostly because I would feel inadequate if I DIDN'T try. I felt I owed it to him just to try and see because I missed out the first time.

Now that I am nursing, I am all for mothers breastfeeding their babies whenever, wherever. Although I do agree that the pressure to do so is a bit much. Being military, I've been bounced around from one OB to the next and all of them put enormous pressure on me to nurse my son. They have a knack of making you feel as if you're not a good mother if you choose not to. Finally a midwife told me that you just have to do what works best. Sometimes it's the breast, sometimes it's not.

And I have experienced the inopportune leaking many times. When you're out in public, you have no choice but to get the baby to the breast ASAP. It's either that or walk around with a wet shirt.

I am all for mothers breastfeeding their babies whenever, wherever.
Welcome to militant femenism: "I am female, and as such should have the right to do what I like, when I like, without bothering to consider other people".

Welcome to militant femenism: "I am female, and as such should have the right to do what I like, when I like, without bothering to consider other people".Now come on! It's the baby who's hungry! We are not all a bunch of exhibitionists who are so desperate to show the world our jugs that we whip them out and force our babies to feed in public every time we see someone who looks a bit squeamish approaching! A hungry baby needs food, and nothing else will satisfy him/her.

I'm sorry if I come across as militant on the breastfeeding issue. Personally I feel the word evangelical to be more appropriate. I know not all mums can and not all babies can, and I would hate to make life harder for any mum who is already struggling, but the benefits of established breastfeeding are so great it's worth soldiering on through the early difficulties if you can. And yes, I do know just how much it hurts when your nipples crack and bleed and the baby latches on poorly and wants hourly feeds throughout the day. Been there, done that! But the first few weeks with a new baby are a haze of pain and tiredness anyway, and they pass.

First of all feminazis, I love it.

Ok second, I have never seen anyone jumped in this thread. I know Anabel, she doesn't jump. All everyone is doing is asking questions. I would be nice to know why people are uncomfortable with breastfeeding moms. You may not realize this but those of us who have kids are asked from time to time for advice from first time moms. Wouldn't it be nice to be able to tell them well we had a discussion and have found that x y and z tend to bother people that are not *insert person here* with this. Nothing makes a breastfeeding mother more uncomfortable than making people uncomfortable so it is generally avoided.

Third please don't lump all breastfeeding moms into that insane mother earth group. I am not talking the normal mother earth people but the ones who go out of their way to annoy people to prove a point. These would be the ones who practically whip off their shirt and bra in the middle of McDonalds just so they can tell the woman that faints that it is their right. Most breastfeeding mothers are very discreet.

"Most breastfeeding mothers are very discreet."

With their breasts, yes. But not necessarily with their opinions and habits of speech. I don't believe there is any one BEST way, other than whatever works for Mommy and Baby. It's no one else's business.

As for not being jumped on, didn't someone accuse someone else of having issues about breasts? That was below the belt.

1. Do you/would you breastfeed your child?
As a male i wouldn't but, i would encourage it if it was possible.
2. Do you think it’s fair to the mother to breastfeed for an extended period of time?
If she's comfortable with it.
3. When do you think is the right time to wean a child off the breast?
When the mother and child are ready, mentally, emotionally and physically.
4. Do you think that older children actually need the breast milk, or do you think it’s more of a comfort thing?
I would say that it is a comfort thing, but I could be worong.
5a. Do you think mothers should be allowed to breastfeed in public?
It depends on the place. There are going to be people that are uncomfortable with it in a lot of places, so they need to grow up but at the same time, you don't want to offend too many people.
5b. If you answered no to question 5a, can you give your reasons why it shouldn’t be allowed?

5c. If you answered yes to question 5a, why do you think others don’t agree with it?

6. What do you think of shops/restaurants that have no feeding room and instead tell the mother to feed the child in the ladies toilets?
I think it's digusting, most public bathrooms are digusting, it's not a very good place hygenically for a child, much less one that's eating.

Now come on! It's the baby who's hungry! We are not all a bunch of exhibitionists who are so desperate to show the world our jugs that we whip them out and force our babies to feed in public every time we see someone who looks a bit squeamish approaching! A hungry baby needs food, and nothing else will satisfy him/her.
Sorry if that came across wrong. I wasn't objecting to breast feeding in public per se - sometimes, like if you're stuck on a train and there's absolutely nothing else you can do, it's fine. I was objecting to the attitude that someone has the divine right to feed their baby anywhere they choose. Whether rightly or wrongly, breasts have been "sexed up" in Western culture and so some people are going to be uncomfortable about breastfeeding in public. Being sensitive, instead of not giving a **** about other people's feelings, seems to me to be common sense.

Sorry if that came across wrong. I wasn't objecting to breast feeding in public per se - sometimes, like if you're stuck on a train and there's absolutely nothing else you can do, it's fine. I was objecting to the attitude that someone has the divine right to feed their baby anywhere they choose. Whether rightly or wrongly, breasts have been "sexed up" in Western culture and so some people are going to be uncomfortable about breastfeeding in public. Being sensitive, instead of not giving a **** about other people's feelings, seems to me to be common sense.
Thank you. That's probably what many others feel too. Breastfeeding isn't bad, breastfeeding in public isn't bad per se but beastfeeding with the attitude "what are you going do about it? I'll do what I want" is what offends many. It's the same arrogance that pro-Breastfeeding Anyplace/Time people feel the anti-Breastfeeding Anyplace/Time people do to them. The respect expected and wanted goes both ways.

Ok second, I have never seen anyone jumped in this thread. I know Anabel, she doesn't jump. All everyone is doing is asking questions. I would be nice to know why people are uncomfortable with breastfeeding moms. You may not realize this but those of us who have kids are asked from time to time for advice from first time moms.
And I didn't see anyone asking for advice either. You pushing your ideals on other people when they might disagree or be on the fence is what I've seen. Why someone is uncomfortable with breastfeeding? No one said that. People are uncomfortable with seeing people do it, not the concept itself. There's a difference. As to why? It's really a non-issue if they're not stopping you from doing it, so asking BadEyeBella multiple times why she's uncomfortable with seeing is a bit...like harping. Like there's something wrong with her or something. Then making a rude statement about her supposed breast psychosis is really over the line. It's seriously none of your business why anyone feels a certain way if they're not going to stand in the way of your ideals.

And about some young women not knowing if they're going to breastfeed or not. How about leaving out the whole "They are wonderful pieces of feeding equipment" thing and go with the "it's great for the baby, gives you one on one time, etc." idea. Only because as many know, having a baby is traumatic enough. Feeling like you're somehow holding breastfeeding women back by not going out in public or making it sound like your boobs are udders is even more scary. I stayed home or my mom's house when I was feeding my kids and I didn't stay home all the time. I just kept them on a schedule and honestly nobody suffered. In fact, I think it's more beneficial to keep the baby on a schedule than being a slave to their whim.

Honestly, I've never seen such crass harassment of posters in what should be a civil enviroment ( as opposed to the abortion threads or the like.)This is not harrassment. This is a debate/discussion thread where people can discuss their opinions. When the majority of people in a thread have one opinion, their questions and comments to the minority can seem like harassment when it is nothing of the sort. It is simply a large group of people with a shared opinion talking with a smaller group of people with a shared opinion. If you've ever been to the religious threads, this is nothing compared to what goes on there (which is why some have been shut down).

There is absolutely nothing wrong with people expressing their opinions on this subject, whether they are in the majority or minority. And I have seen nothing offensive on either sides of the issue here, although I have seen a person or two get a little overexcited, which you can expect in debate. That's why this thread is in the Department of International Magical Cooperation and not the Leaky Cauldron or elsewhere.

I just kept them on a schedule and honestly nobody suffered. In fact, I think it's more beneficial to keep the baby on a schedule than being a slave to their whim.That's your opinion, which you are free to express. If others feel differently, that's their prerogative.

Breastfeeding is a surprisngly sensitive subject. I am not at all surprised that tempers are flaring a bit and that some people are feeling attacked.

I don't think anyone has actually been attacked, but I can see how one would feel that way.

I think that breastfeeding is definitely benificial to the baby and to the mother, but I think a lot of the "stress" to push breastfeeding needs to be lifted. Many women who have difficulties with breastfeeding feel horribly inadequate because of all of the emphasis that is placed on the health benefits and on the emotional benfits of breastfeeding.
Sometimes it's just not going to be an option, and that's OK. We need to deal with things as they come and take each day at a time.

I don't mind any of the comments that have been going on in this discussion, unless the tone dips a little too low into the immature. I don't like hearing people say that breastfeeding is gross (or that doing it in public is gross).
I think that kind of talk is immature and doesn't really encourage discussion.

Breastfeeding is a surprisngly sensitive subject. I am not at all surprised that tempers are flaring a bit and that some people are feeling attacked.

I don't think anyone has actually been attacked, but I can see how one would feel that way.

I think that breastfeeding is definitely benificial to the baby and to the mother, but I think a lot of the "stress" to push breastfeeding needs to be lifted. Many women who have difficulties with breastfeeding feel horribly inadequate because of all of the emphasis that is placed on the health benefits and on the emotional benfits of breastfeeding.
Sometimes it's just not going to be an option, and that's OK. We need to deal with things as they come and take each day at a time.

I don't mind any of the comments that have been going on in this discussion, unless the tone dips a little too low into the immature. I don't like hearing people say that breastfeeding is gross (or that doing it in public is gross).
I think that kind of talk is immature and doesn't really encourage discussion.
I agree, what I was trying to point out with my earlier post was that we are just being curous. We were trying to see the other side. Everyone I know either breastfed their children or didn't see a problem when others did. This is just a side I would like to understand more.

This is just a side I would like to understand more.
I'll try and explain how I see it. If someone is breast-feeding in public they're most likely going to be more self-concious and aware of what people's reaction to it is. Most people get very uncomfortable: do you look away and make the woman feel as if she's doing something shameful and wrong, or do you carry on as normal and risk being branded a pervert? Any sane person will understand that in some situations there's no alternative, however, I'd guess that these would be really rare - say, if your car breaks down etc.

Also, as there's pressure to breastfeed your child, those that can't breastfeed aren't going to feel amazing if they see people openly breastfeeding their children all the time. My girlfriend has a condition that means she's most likely going to be on drugs that affect her immune system for the rest of her life, and so wouldn't be able to breast feed even if she wanted to. Being sensitive to people like that is good :).

Also, as there's pressure to breastfeed your child, those that can't breastfeed aren't going to feel amazing if they see people openly breastfeeding their children all the time. My girlfriend has a condition that means she's most likely going to be on drugs that affect her immune system for the rest of her life, and so wouldn't be able to breast feed even if she wanted to. Being sensitive to people like that is good :).

I understand your point, but you could extend that to anything couldn't you? What about women who are unable to conceive children at all - should we all keep our children indoors and out of sight in order to be sensitive to them? Why should a mum have to force her baby onto a routine, or go through the rigmarole of sterilising bottles, expressing milk and finding a place to warm it, just because someone out there might be offended by the sight of the baby feeding? We all know the problem is with the oversexualisation of breasts, now should we really perpetuate the taboo by forcing nursing mothers to keep breastfeeding hidden away as something shameful, or should we be open enough to change our own attitudes?

Why should a mum have to force her baby onto a routine, or go through the rigmarole of sterilising bottles, expressing milk and finding a place to warm it, just because someone out there might be offended by the sight of the baby feeding?

You don't see the negativism implied in what you've just said? "Force" a baby into a routine? Babies thrive on a routine and routines give Mom and Dad some semblance of a life outside caring for their child around the clock. The "rigamarole of sterilizing bottles, expressing milk and finding a place to warm it?" I'll grant you the old way of sterilization wasn't exactly fun, but most bottles today are dishwasher safe and are thus very easy to keep sanitary. Microwave ovens do a fine job of warming a bottle, too, so long as Mom or Dad is careful to stir away the hot spot.

You don't see the negativism implied in what you've just said? "Force" a baby into a routine? Babies thrive on a routine and routines give Mom and Dad some semblance of a life outside caring for their child around the clock. The "rigamarole of sterilizing bottles, expressing milk and finding a place to warm it?" I'll grant you the old way of sterilization wasn't exactly fun, but most bottles today are dishwasher safe and are thus very easy to keep sanitary. Microwave ovens do a fine job of warming a bottle, too, so long as Mom or Dad is careful to stir away the hot spot.

Again it's a personal thing - not all babies thrive on a routine, and not all mums and dads do either. Not everyone in the world has a dishwasher, I certainly don't, and there isn't necessarily going to be a microwave handy when you're out and about. The potential problems with bottles and nipple confusion have already been discussed, and expressing milk is surely no-one's idea of a fun way to spend time. There is also the expense of bottles, sterilising equipment, breast-pump. If a mum wants to solely breastfeed, how can it possibly be fair to expect her to cope with all of the above just because of other people's hang-ups about breastfeeding?

I don't understand what the big deal is about breastfeeding. I breast and formula fed my kids. Breastfed at home and formula on the road. Doctor said there was not a thing wrong with it. Problem solved. As far as schedules, if it works great..but I was never able to keep my son on a schedule. He was 12 lbs at birth, when he was hungry I fed him.
Hands down breast feeding is the most beneficial thing you can feed your child, but it doesn't have to be the only thing.

I think it should be down to the mother. Breast feeding can be done very discreetly and then no-one would even really notice unless they took a gooood loong look and then its their own fault for staring.

I chose not to breastfeed my son in public as he was anything but discreet on the nipple. His head was caning about and he was making distubingly loud slurping noises. His manners were just not good enough for eating out. :p
Instead when I was out I took him to designated nursing rooms or back to my car where we could sit in peace behind the steering wheel.

The problem with breastfed babies is that they feed more often than bottlefed because the milk is less filling so its almost impossible to be out and about without having to feed them at least a few times. If the mum knows the area she will know if she is close to a nursing room or similar, if not well, you cant deny the baby its feed. That would be denying it a basic human right.

I don't understand what the big deal is about breastfeeding. I breast and formula fed my kids. Breastfed at home and formula on the road. Doctor said there was not a thing wrong with it. Problem solved. As far as schedules, if it works great..but I was never able to keep my son on a schedule. He was 12 lbs at birth, when he was hungry I fed him.
Hands down breast feeding is the most beneficial thing you can feed your child, but it doesn't have to be the only thing.

Many babies refuse to take a bottle. The texture of a bottle teat is completely different to a nipple and its a problem for many mums.

I don't understand what the big deal is about breastfeeding.


Neither do I. :no: It works great for some, maybe most, but there is another way if it doesn't. What I'm reading here are all the negatives implied in not breastfeeding and I think that's probably the reason I'm reacting so strongly.

The potential problems with bottles and nipple confusion have already been discussed, and expressing milk is surely no-one's idea of a fun way to spend time. There is also the expense of bottles, sterilising equipment, breast-pump.

See what I mean? All written negatively and as a justification for why breastfeeding is better. It's this attitude I object to. "Better" is what works for Mom and baby - and it's not as written in stone as breastfeeding proponents would have you believe.

See what I mean? All written negatively and as a justification for why breastfeeding is better. It's this attitude I object to. "Better" is what works for Mom and baby - and it's not as written in stone as breastfeeding proponents would have you believe.

Thats so true. At my antenatal group we were pounded with info on how good breastmilk is and how BAD formula is. I had a lot of trouble breastfeeding my son when he was born. I could not do it and he ended up going back into hospital to be tubefed through his nose because they would not let me introduce a bottle!
I had to express and I expressed too much so that I overproduced milk and got Mastitis. He did not take to the breast till 6 weeks (of hell) down the line. I never enjoyed it, I only did it because I got brainwashed by the health authorities.

When my 2nd son came along I was faced with the same problem in that he would not suckle. I went straight out and bought formula equipment and he was formula fed from day 2 which he loved. We were both happier and I am so glad I made that decision.

Formula milk is so much better now than it used to be. The only thing they cannot put into it are the antibodies. So my 2nd son had many colds from early age. He was getting the antibodies the hard way-by producing them himself. But he is just as healthy as my first son.

I find it terrible that so many young mothers are forced to breast feed when they are not comfortable with it. I was crying my eyes out over it and I was in a right state with the stress of the whole thing. I am sure it cannot be beneficial for baby or mother to go through with it on those terms.

No, I'm sure it isn't. That was why I was saying that it should always be a matter of "take it as it comes" and not "do it this way." So many mothers have expectations of what motherhood is going to be like, but hormone levels and unforeseen problems like allergies or the baby not taking to the breast can cause the experience to be an emotional roller coaster ride to hell.

I think that the emphasis should be on what works for mommy and baby, not on what would be ideal. Every baby taking to the breast without difficulty would be ideal. But that is not always the case. Mothers need support and need to feel that they have options when a door closes on them (particularly one as seemingly simple and obvious as breast feeding).

It might seem silly to someone who has never had a problem, but for a mother with a newborn baby who won't eat but who is told she can only feed the baby breast milk, things can become pretty desperate and disheartening.

I'm glad you knew better than to subject yourself to that kind of disappointment and torture a second time with your second son. You did the right thing in sparing both yourself and your son from the stress of breastfeeding a baby that won't be breast fed.

First, I'd like to say that there's nothing wrong about pointing out the benefits of breastfeeding, and pointing out the negatives of bottle feeding (the extra prep time and cost are things that can be very negative, especially for families on low incomes). That it what the entire point of this forum is about: to discuss the pros and cons.
There is also nothing wrong with anyone pointing out the inconvenience and pain that breastfeeding - and those who would make every woman ONLY breastfeed - can cause - yes, it is taxing, and yes, in today's age and in our society, it isn't always going to work.
I've said it before and I'll say it again - breastfeeding has a tremendous amount of benefits for an infant - benefits that ONLY breastfeeding can give. However, I was a bottle-fed infant - my mother and father both worked full time jobs when I was born. My mother worked in a plant setting (ie. driving fork lifts, hard, heavy labor, not a heck of a lot of breaks). Breastfeeding would have been a terrible incovenience for her, because she was already bringing in her fair share of the household income and still coming home to cook, clean, and take care of the kids (I have two older sisters). When would she have found time to breastfeed me? Right before she dropped me off at the nursery, and right before she went to bed every night? As for a breast pump - when? In one of her 10 minute breaks? Or in the break room during her 30 minute lunch? It simply wasn't feasible.
So, yes, breastfeeding IS one of those things: what works best for the mother is best for the child.

See what I mean? All written negatively and as a justification for why breastfeeding is better. It's this attitude I object to. "Better" is what works for Mom and baby - and it's not as written in stone as breastfeeding proponents would have you believe.


I think you are misinterpreting what I'm saying. I'm not saying anything about why breastfeeding is better. The reasons I quoted against bottle-feeding were not anything to do with an argument of 'let's all breastfeed and poo to you if you don't'. They were reasons why a nursing mother shouldn't have to do these things simply to avoid possibly upsetting some stranger in the street.

This discussion was about breastfeeding in public, and the comments listing the advantages of breastfeeding are simply aimed towards those who seem to be saying that nursing mothers should bottlefeed in public to save the feelings of others. Any comments I have made are most definitely not aimed towards making bottlefeeding mothers feel inadequate, so please don't construe them that way.

I am well aware that while this argument about whether it's shameful to publicly breastfeed rages, there are many mothers who suffer dirty looks and condemnation for bottlefeeding in public from people who think the mothers should be breastfeeding.

I don't believe in making anyone feel inadequate for their choices, and while I personally believe in the benefits of breastfeeding, I would never try to foist that upon someone else who follows a different path to mine. All comments I have made here are in relation to mums who wish to nurse in public, and are no reflection on bottlefeeding in general.

I had a lot of trouble breastfeeding my son when he was born. I could not do it and he ended up going back into hospital to be tubefed through his nose because they would not let me introduce a bottle!

Who exactly are "they" and why were you letting them dictate how you take care of your son???

Who exactly are "they" and why were you letting them dictate how you take care of your son???
Unfortunately, not everyone is brave enough to stand up to "them". It's wonderful if you are, but please don't put down those who aren't.

I also felt pressured to breastfeed my first, but I ended up very glad I had done it and chose to breastfeed my second child as well .

"They" brought my baby, my daughter, to tears. "They" pressured her into breastfeeding and the only advice they offered when things didn't work was to keep trying. I'll never forgive LaLeche for that. In the end, she called the only place she knew she'd get advice tailored specifically to her needs and those of her infant son. Sometimes, another woman who doesn't have an agenda is the best resource for a mom in trouble with breastfeeding.

ETA: I think I should say this: the daughter I speak of is an attorney and executive at a Fortune 100 company. She doesn't have issues with self-worth and has never been shy about expressing herself. Perhaps these traits, more than anything else, helped me to see the desperation she was feeling that day.

I'm sure most of "they" never meant to make your daughter feel inadequate. The pushing, I hope, was based on good intentions, but that doesn't mean it's done right and it doesn't mean your daughter wasn't hurt by it.

I know I was pushed, and was not given good information about how to do it (for something that's natural, it's not necessarily easy when you start). Basically if you are not given good info on how to breastfeed, you won't be able to, I almost stopped because I was told to do it wrong and got a painful infection, but then I was finally given some good info on how to do it.

Edit: Thought I should add. It's incredible how stressful it is being handed a new baby, it's hard to understand how tired and in dismay you can feel in those first weeks. It's easy to assume "they" know what they're talking about, "they" have had sleep, and so you follow their advice, even when it's not working for you.

you cant deny the baby its feed. That would be denying it a basic human right.This is basically what it comes down to. It's not about flashing flesh around in public, or feminism, or making other mums feel inferior. It's about babies getting hungry and needing food - preferably the food nature intended for them. Nobody here is criticising mums who bottlefeed. The fact that breastmilk is better than formula is so well established that it requires no argument, but we all know that some mums are on medication, and others will have problems, and that's ok. Nobody wants to make other people feel bad, especially not a mum who is doing her best (as I'm sure we all do).
This discussion was about breastfeeding in public, and the comments listing the advantages of breastfeeding are simply aimed towards those who seem to be saying that nursing mothers should bottlefeed in public to save the feelings of others. Any comments I have made are most definitely not aimed towards making bottlefeeding mothers feel inadequate, so please don't construe them that way.

I am well aware that while this argument about whether it's shameful to publicly breastfeed rages, there are many mothers who suffer dirty looks and condemnation for bottlefeeding in public from people who think the mothers should be breastfeeding.

I don't believe in making anyone feel inadequate for their choices, and while I personally believe in the benefits of breastfeeding, I would never try to foist that upon someone else who follows a different path to mine. All comments I have made here are in relation to mums who wish to nurse in public, and are no reflection on bottlefeeding in general.I agree. This is a discussion thread. The purpose of being here is to discuss. So there is nothing wrong with asking why someone dislikes something. We ask because we want to know the answer. Otherwise this would turn into a lame little thread where people post "I think breastfeeding is good" and "I don't think mothers should feed their babies in public" without saying why.

1. Do you/would you breastfeed your child? I'm not sure. I wasn't breatfed, so I'll probably bottle feed. It's much easier in public.

2. Do you think it’s fair to the mother to breastfeed for an extended period of time? If the mother chose to breastfeed, then it is fair. When chosing to breastfeed, that must be taken into consideration.

3. When do you think is the right time to wean a child off the breast? Probably around 6 months a baby can start eating baby food be breast fed at the same time.

4. Do you think that older children actually need the breast milk, or do you think it’s more of a comfort thing? I think it's more for comfort. Breast milk is for babies, not older children, to help them grow.

5a. Do you think mothers should be allowed to breastfeed in public? Yes, as long as they are covered properly with a blanket or something else.

5b. If you answered no to question 5a, can you give your reasons why it shouldn’t be allowed?

5c. If you answered yes to question 5a, why do you think others don’t agree with it?
I think some people feel uncomfortable. And I think they have a reason to be this way if they saw a mother who wasn't covered. I think that as long as she is covered properly, she should be allowed.
6. What do you think of shops/restaurants that have no feeding room and instead tell the mother to feed the child in the ladies toilets?
It's really up to the restaurant. If I was a breast feeding mother, I wouldn't like it very much, but breast milk can always be put into a bottle and fed to the child

I wasn't breast fed, and I see no problem with babies being fed by forumla. I've heard thing like children who were bottle fed are less healthy than children who were breast fed. I don't think that is true at all. My brother and I were both fed by formula and we were much healthier children than my cousins who were all breast fed.

My mother was unable to breast feed us because she had a C-section for both of us because of a sickness she had during her pregnancies. Sometimes, bottle feeding can't be helped. My cousin wasn't able to make enough milk, so she had to bottle feed.

You don't see the negativism implied in what you've just said? "Force" a baby into a routine? Babies thrive on a routine and routines give Mom and Dad some semblance of a life outside caring for their child around the clock. The "rigamarole of sterilizing bottles, expressing milk and finding a place to warm it?" I'll grant you the old way of sterilization wasn't exactly fun, but most bottles today are dishwasher safe and are thus very easy to keep sanitary. Microwave ovens do a fine job of warming a bottle, too, so long as Mom or Dad is careful to stir away the hot spot.
You may want to read this (http://www.shands.org/health/information/article/002451.htm) before giving out advice on microwaving breast milk. I would like to quote the pertinent information.
Never microwave breast milk (overheating destroys valuable nutrients and "hot spots" can scald your baby).

I was objecting to the attitude that someone has the divine right to feed their baby anywhere they choose. Whether rightly or wrongly, breasts have been "sexed up" in Western culture and so some people are going to be uncomfortable about breastfeeding in public. Being sensitive, instead of not giving a **** about other people's feelings, seems to me to be common sense.It's not about my right to feed my baby. It's about my baby's right to be fed, when he's hungry - and with young babies that is pretty unpredictable, because all babies go through growth spurts when they need more, and the way to increase the supply is to feed more often until supply matches demand (a nifty little system, that). You can't always plan when your baby will need feeding, and sometimes you get delayed and don't get home in time. I've fed my kids in different places, but never with the intent to offend anyone. Nor did I make a big deal of it. If my baby was hungry, we would sit down in the most discrete place available and get on with it. Nobody ever made a fuss about this.

You may want to read this (http://www.shands.org/health/information/article/002451.htm) before giving out advice on microwaving breast milk. I would like to quote the pertinent information.

I did mention the hot spot when I posted. I'm not aware of any nutrients lost in the few seconds it takes to remove the chill from a refrigerated bottle, though. I'm not at all sure I buy it either.

Who exactly are "they" and why were you letting them dictate how you take care of your son???

Sorry by "they" I mean the team of midwives and the staff at Medicom plus the health visitors. They all advised against introducing a bottle saying he would be confused and then it would be even harder to get him to take to the breast.
I am a strong confident individual but I was at that point not myself. My hormones were all over the place and I was tired and very sore after the birth. I was faced with this little life I had no idea how to care for.

These people were the ones I had to rely on. I followed everything they said as I wanted the best for my baby and I felt like such a failure because I could not get Samuel to breastfeed. It was just awful. I realise that these health proffesionals are trained to give advise on the best milk for the baby which is obviosly breast milk. But they should also realise when to say enough is enough, feed the baby what it will take, be it breast or bottle.

I have even heard stories of mothers who were making bottle feeds up wrong because they had only been given advise on breast feeding and had no idea about properly sterilising equipment and making up feeds.

I did mention the hot spot when I posted. I'm not aware of any nutrients lost in the few seconds it takes to remove the chill from a refrigerated bottle, though. I'm not at all sure I buy it either.
If you would like I can quote a few more websites they all seem to say the same thing.

My kids wouldn't touch reheated breastmilk no matter how you did it. So when I had to use a bottle they got formula. It really is all about what is best for the mother and child. No one knows what your situation will be, you just do what is best for you and hope it all works out.
Sorry by "they" I mean the team of midwives and the staff at Medicom plus the health visitors. They all advised against introducing a bottle saying he would be confused and then it would be even harder to get him to take to the breast.
I am a strong confident individual but I was at that point not myself. My hormones were all over the place and I was tired and very sore after the birth. I was faced with this little life I had no idea how to care for.

These people were the ones I had to rely on. I followed everything they said as I wanted the best for my baby and I felt like such a failure because I could not get Samuel to breastfeed. It was just awful. I realise that these health proffesionals are trained to give advise on the best milk for the baby which is obviosly breast milk. But they should also realise when to say enough is enough, feed the baby what it will take, be it breast or bottle.

I have even heard stories of mothers who were making bottle feeds up wrong because they had only been given advise on breast feeding and had no idea about properly sterilising equipment and making up feeds.
With my first one woman walked into my room, looked at Tommy and ripped the pacifier out of his mouth. I just laid there with my jaw open. She said I was going to confuse him. I pointed out that he already nursed every two hours and he didn't seem confused at all. Some people are awful

With my first one woman walked into my room, looked at Tommy and ripped the pacifier out of his mouth. I just laid there with my jaw open. She said I was going to confuse him. I pointed out that he already nursed every two hours and he didn't seem confused at all. Some people are awfulYes, I was advised not to use a dummy with my kids until after feeding was established. Basically, what works best for you and your baby is what is best, assuming that you aren't breaking important hygiene rules or giving him gin to stop him crying (popular advice not all that long ago)! If breastfeeding isn't working, then bottle is the next best thing, and millions of kids have done fine on formula.

I'm a bit confused though. If you can't breastfeed, then it's bad to make you feel inadequate about it - we are all agreed on that. But if you do successfully breastfeed, it's not ok to feed in public because some people, for reasons they can't quite explain, feel uncomfortable with it? :huh:
It's what works best for a lot of mums and babies.

It's not about my right to feed my baby. It's about my baby's right to be fed, when he's hungry - and with young babies that is pretty unpredictable, because all babies go through growth spurts when they need more, and the way to increase the supply is to feed more often until supply matches demand (a nifty little system, that). You can't always plan when your baby will need feeding, and sometimes you get delayed and don't get home in time. I've fed my kids in different places, but never with the intent to offend anyone. Nor did I make a big deal of it. If my baby was hungry, we would sit down in the most discrete place available and get on with it. Nobody ever made a fuss about this.
If you read my post you'd find that I said that if a baby needs to be fed, then that's absolutely fine, although nothing has a right to be fed, it's certainly sensible. I was objecting to the attitude some have taken that "I have the right to breastfeed, and if people don't like it, screw them". That's not because you're thinking of your baby, that's because you're being selfish and stubborn.

It's like saying, "People have the right to free speech and so they should exercise that by getting on a bus and shouting out what they believe, while denouncing those that don't believe in them". Yes, you have that right, but it's common courtesy not to exercise it.

If you read my post you'd find that I said that if a baby needs to be fed, then that's absolutely fine, although nothing has a right to be fed, it's certainly sensible. I was objecting to the attitude some have taken that "I have the right to breastfeed, and if people don't like it, screw them". That's not because you're thinking of your baby, that's because you're being selfish and stubborn.

It's like saying, "People have the right to free speech and so they should exercise that by getting on a bus and shouting out what they believe, while denouncing those that don't believe in them". Yes, you have that right, but it's common courtesy not to exercise it.

But this is perpetuating the idea that breastfeeding mothers are walking around half-naked whilst feeding their babies, and nothing could be further from the truth. Most (caveat that yes, someone somewhere might be getting off on making complete strangers look at her naked breasts) nursing moms are quite good at nursing in public showing little if any skin at all. Most of us do not want to be stared at, so we take the appropriate steps to prevent accidentaly flashing anyone, whether it's wearing a nursing top or throwing a blanket over the baby. I've nursed in public in front of my own brother in law, and he didn't even know what I was doing until he asked his wife afterwards if I'd ever fed the baby.

And the idea of just using formula in a bottle while out? Many breastfed babies won't take a bottle at all, formula or breastmilk. I know my last two would have rather gone hungry.

If you read my post you'd find that I said that if a baby needs to be fed, then that's absolutely fine, although nothing has a right to be fed, it's certainly sensible. I was objecting to the attitude some have taken that "I have the right to breastfeed, and if people don't like it, screw them". That's not because you're thinking of your baby, that's because you're being selfish and stubborn.

It's like saying, "People have the right to free speech and so they should exercise that by getting on a bus and shouting out what they believe, while denouncing those that don't believe in them". Yes, you have that right, but it's common courtesy not to exercise it.Kit, I don't get where you are coming from with this. Who has this attitude? I've never seen it.

I think he's trying to say there is a certain militancy, perhaps aggressiveness, among breastfeeding mothers that the general population finds distasteful. Kit, forgive me if I've misinterpreted your intent. I sensed it even in the posts in this thread. I would never have posted otherwise.

I think he's trying to say there is a certain militancy, perhaps aggressiveness, among breastfeeding mothers that the general population finds distasteful. Kit, forgive me if I've misinterpreted your intent. I sensed it even in the posts in this thread. I would never have posted otherwise.

Ah, since when is being the best mother you can be, at least nutritionally, considered militant?
Hear ye! Hear ye! Mothers of the world! Wanting your infant to get the optimal food at the optimal time is hereby considered militant. Desist, for ye make people feel icky in their shallow little skins!

Newsflash, folks: humans are mammals. Mammals have mammaries. Mammaries exist to feed babies. There is no acceptable substitute for human breastmilk except in the case of medical malfunction of lactation. And, no, I don't believe that two-thirds of American mothers suffer from agalactia.

Now I understand that lots of mothers don't get the support they need to successfully breastfeed and I can fully sympathize with that. I also understand that a lot of mothers give it a go, something doesn't work perfectly, so they go buy a case of powdered formula. How ridiculous.

And if men (and women) can't get past the point that someone, somewhere decided that breasts were WOOWOO!, then I really have very little hope left for the human race. The argument that "naked breasts are too shocking to be bared in order to PROVIDE BASIC NUTRITION TO A HUNGRY AND HELPLESS BEING" is, frankly, really sad.

It is incorrect to label all breastfeeding moms as millitant. I breastfed but I also fed my kids formula, as have others posting; if we were all millitant, none of us would have used both. I'm not trying to start a fight, just mentioning that you can't generalize all breastgeeding moms as militant.

Now I understand that lots of mothers don't get the support they need to successfully breastfeed and I can fully sympathize with that. I also understand that a lot of mothers give it a go, something doesn't work perfectly, so they go buy a case of powdered formula. How ridiculous.Are you saying that it's ridiculous that some mothers try breastfeeding and can't quite do it? I'm all for breastfeeding as I've stated on this thread, but I find that sort of attitude ridiculous in itself. It simply doesn't work perfectly for everyone.

My sister-in-law is a good example: Her first son died 5 days after birth because of a rare heart defect, and she developed a serious insecurity about breastfeeding during that time because she tried to breastfeed him and he wouldn't latch on. Even though she knew that had nothing to do with his death, she still felt an immense insecurity about breastfeeding. She now has a 2nd son, and she tried to breastfeed him. He didn't latch on right away, and so she decided to bottlefeed him. Because of the nutritious value in breastfeeding and the positive feelings that can be shared between mother and child, I wish that she could have done it. But I'm not going to think less of her for one second because of that decision. To do so would be insensitive and, frankly, ridiculous.

Are you saying that it's ridiculous that some mothers try breastfeeding and can't quite do it? I'm all for breastfeeding as I've stated on this thread, but I find that sort of attitude ridiculous in itself. It simply doesn't work perfectly for everyone.

My sister-in-law is a good example: Her first son died 5 days after birth because of a rare heart defect, and she developed a serious insecurity about breastfeeding during that time because she tried to breastfeed him and he wouldn't latch on. Even though she knew that had nothing to do with his death, she still felt an immense insecurity about breastfeeding. She now has a 2nd son, and she tried to breastfeed him. He didn't latch on right away, and so she decided to bottlefeed him. Because of the nutritious value in breastfeeding and the positive feelings that can be shared between mother and child, I wish that she could have done it. But I'm not going to think less of her for one second because of that decision. To do so would be insensitive and, frankly, ridiculous.


The greatest amount of the time, it's not about thinking less of someone who is having trouble, but about providing education and competent help for those women who are having trouble. Too many times women who desperately want to breastfeed successfully are unable to due to bad/lazy health care providers who are themselves woefully uneducated about breastfeeding mechanics and the ways to overcome the problems.

Are you saying that it's ridiculous that some mothers try breastfeeding and can't quite do it? I'm all for breastfeeding as I've stated on this thread, but I find that sort of attitude ridiculous in itself. It simply doesn't work perfectly for everyone.

Let's all say "amen."

I had four babies. I successfully breastfed three of them; lost my perfect record with the youngest, who had allergies up the wazoo. I've never said I was anti-breastfeeding, nor did I say all - or even most - mothers who breastfeed are militant. Some are extremely militant, however, as evidenced by some of the posts in this thread.

We are getting very off topic here. This was the opening post:Recently in the UK a programme was on entitled "Extraordinary Breastfeeding". It featured women who breastfeed their children long past the “normal” age to stop – 2, 4 and even 8 in one case. It also covered issues such as breastfeeding in public. The children were mostly fed on demand, and one couple featured had had a night out by themselves only twice since the birth of their twins a little over two years ago due to them being breastfed. They decided to wean the twins off the breast during the programme though, and although it caused some tantrums at first, they eventually settled down, and all they seemed to miss was the closeness they shared with their mother whilst feeding.

One couple had been trying to adopt a baby for three years, and the mother had continued to breastfeed their son so that she could breastfeed the new baby. Her son was 4 by the time the adoption process was completed and the new baby refused the breast entirely, although it wasn’t for lack of trying on the mother’s part. I thought it was a bit unrealistic for the mother to expect an 18-month-old child to take to the breast of a stranger right away though.

My Opinion: Personally, I’m all for breastfeeding and I don’t see why mothers shouldn’t be able to do it in public, but I don’t agree with doing for as long as the mothers featured in the programme do. Most doctors recommend breastfeeding until the child is at least 6 months, but should be continued until the child is a year old, and I personally don’t think that the child actually needs the milk after that. After all, a child is getting nutrition from solid food at this point, and would usually only get a formula feed once or twice a day. I do believe that breastfeeding beyond this point is more about comfort than anything else, and this can easily be given with cuddles and affection. I also believe a mother needs her freedom, a chance to go out and enjoy herself every once in a while, or even just relax in a bubblebath, and that’s hardly practical if you have a child demanding access to your breasts all the time. Not to mention the fact that she has to deal with all the night feeds!!

The Questions:

1. Do you/would you breastfeed your child?

2. Do you think it’s fair to the mother to breastfeed for an extended period of time?

3. When do you think is the right time to wean a child off the breast?

4. Do you think that older children actually need the breast milk, or do you think it’s more of a comfort thing?

5a. Do you think mothers should be allowed to breastfeed in public?

5b. If you answered no to question 5a, can you give your reasons why it shouldn’t be allowed?

5c. If you answered yes to question 5a, why do you think others don’t agree with it?

6. What do you think of shops/restaurants that have no feeding room and instead tell the mother to feed the child in the ladies toilets?

Can we keep things on track, and not accuse each other of militancy, please!