June 5th, 2006, 8:10 pm
The Staff Meeting
It had been a few long months,it seemed to Severus Snape,since the death of Lily Potter and his grief was still sticking to him like glue.He couldn't sleep and he ate very little.But he knew it was time to get on with his life.So he was determined to go back to the place he had ever felt his happiest.Hogwarts.Dumbledore had not mentioned which position he was to be given,but his hopes were high for the Defense Against The Dark Arts post and he knew Dumbledore knew how keen he was on the particular subject.He awoke one morning,after only a few short hours sleep,to find a phoenix sat on the end of his bed.It's bright eyes shone in the early morning sun and Snape could see that a message was wrapped around his it's foot.
"Morning,Fawkes."he mumbled as he straightened himself up and streched slightly.He bent over to the end of his bed and Fawkes streched out his claw so that he could take the letter.Snape opened it,and at once recognised the thin,slanted writing upon the parchment.
Assuming you will be joining us this term,I am informing you that there will be a staff meeting this afternoon after three o'clock.If you decide to come tnat would be lovely.Please send your answer back with Fawkes.Thank you.
I am yours,
Snape sighed.He had thought about going back to Hogwarts to teach,even if he hated everyone of his students,he'd still stay and live in the place he could honestly say he'd been happy.Yes,why not?What am I doing here?
So it was settled.The Dark Lord!These words struck in his mind.He had confronted his master and spoken of 'his' idea but The Dark Lord had not seemed fully convinced on how much information he could be provided.But really,he couldn't care less.He just wanted to be out of this house and it's grim memories.So Snape took a quill from his bedside and wrote upon the back;
Yes,I will come.I need to get away from this place.
He tied the parchment back onto Fawkes leg and watched him fly out of his open window.He could see dawn approaching and watched the sky turn the wonderful oranges,reds and yellows.And very slowly,he fell asleep.
It was nearly two o'clock when Snape awoke.He looked to the Grandfather clock in the corner of his room and jumped out of bed.He needed to pack!He picked up his wand from his bedside cabinet and pointed it at his bed.The bed began to make itself instantly.Snape then pointed his wand at his night shirt and it turned into a set of black robes,just like the one's in his dull wardrobe.Three days it had talen him to learn that spell and he was rather proud of himself for doing so.He read even more these days to keep his mind off things.He headed downstairs to his living room and pointed his wand at anything in the room.Books,potion bottles and quills flew out from every inch of the room and they were thrown into a box that had appeared out of no where.Snape looked around.There was really nothing else he needed.So he pointed his wand at the box and it began to start moving as he did,towards the door.He stepped out into the last of the summer weather and locked his door with several enchantments.He hurried along into the near by trees,the box floating behind him and they both disapparated.
Snape appeared just outside the Hogwarts grounds.He looked up to the castle and gave a small smile.He moved forward and tapped his wand on the gate.It swang open silently and he made his way up the path to the school.He looked around him as he went,breathing in the memories he had of this place.His eyes looked upon a large tree and he shuddered.There!There had I been made a fool!These words were bitter inside his head and he stopped smiling.He continued to walk up the path until he came to the big doors that led into the Entrance Hall.Snape stepped inside and scanned the Entrance Hall.There was no one there.He could only assume the meeting would be in Dumbledore's office so he set off up the Marble Staircase,carressing the bannister as he went so that he could feel the coldness of the marble on his finger tips.Many more memories flooded back to him.He reached the seventh floor without delay but stopped suddenly outside the two stone gargoyles.
"Er."Snape bit his lip.I don't know what the password is!He thought extremely hard and said the first thing that came to mind.
The gargoyles jumped aside to admit him to Dumbledore's office,where from here he could hear the sound of voices.He opened the door and found the office packed with teachers,all having a chat over what they had done over the summer.Snape didn't know where to go and decided to settle himself in a corner in the darkness,away from the others.He looked around at everyone.They looked as they didn't have a care in the world.He could see Mcgonagall was still teaching and looked as stern as ever.Flitwick moving through the swarm of people.And over in the other corner,a woman with shoulder-length brown hair and deep brown eyes.She looked as though she too wanted to be away from the others and rather bored.Snape stared at her for a moment until she saw him and he looked away suddenly,just as Dumbledore came towards him.
"Severus!Great to see you.I knew you couldn't resist coming back.Not here.Have you been catching up with everyone?"Dumbledore asked pleasantly.
"Yes."he lied,not wanting to go into the truth.
"Splendid,splendid.Well,we needed you didn't we?Horace always said that you were one of his best students after,well you know what I mean."he mumbled the last bit,him neither not wanting to go into too much detail."And now Horace has retired,I'm sure you'd make just as good a Potions Master as he did for all those years."
"Potions Master?"Snape asked.He was confused.Surely not!
"Yes,yes.I'm sorry to say that I found someone even more intrigued by the Dark Arts than you.Have you met her?"Dumbledore said softly.Snape shook his head.His eyes travelling back over to the woman with brown hair.Dumbledore turned around and waved at the woman.She smiled nervously and gave a small wave back.
"Come,I'll introduce you."
He grabbed Snape's wrist and drove him through the crowd towards the woman.She looked quite startled at their presence but her facial expression seemed to cool to be more relaxed when they got nearer.
"Well,Severus this is Stella Webster,our new Defense Against The Dark Arts teacher and Stella this is Severus Snape,our new Potions Master."he said introducing them both.Stella looked from Dumbledore to Snape.
"Nice to meet you."she said.Her tone was cool and it seemed as though she couldn't care less.
"And you."he replied back,just as cool.He didn't want to seem concerned either so he turned on his I-don't-really-care look,which needed work.
"Well,I leave you two to get to know each other."Dumbledore said,heading back off into the crowd.
"So you're the new Defense Against The Dark Arts teacher?"Snape asked rather stupidly,losing his coolness.
"Yep,and I hope you don't feel too upset that you lost your dream job to a woman."Stella said,rather icily.
"Don't try to be nice.Because I won't."She turned her back to him and followed after Dumbledore into the crowd of teachers with a big smile on her face,leaving Snape very confused.
Liked it?Hated it?Let me know in the new feedback thread that'll create in a minute.
June 7th, 2006, 7:30 pm
What is her problem?Snape asked himself this several times until the meeting ended.He had not been paying much attention Dumbledore and had been too busy watching Stella.She was playing some sort of game with him,but he was clueless on why she was being so cold.He had many theories but none of them seemed as likely when he repeated them again.He only realised it was time to leave when he noticed that everyone else had begun to move towards the door.He came out of his little trance and exited after them.Snape swept down to the dungeons and pushed open the first door he came.The potions classroom.To him,it still looked the same even though the tiniest differences had occured,like different desks and the place the teachers desk was put.This wasn't the room he had cleaved,but it was what he had been given and he had to be grateful to back at Hogwarts.Some how,he could see himself sat at the desk,looking over the students as they sat in silence and made their potions.He couldn't wait until one of them got something drastically wrong and he could unleash some of his anger in a sneering way.The bitterness stayed in his mouth and on the tip of his tongue as he thought about Stella and how she had said that she hoped he didn't mind that she had got his job.Obviously,she had meant that to offend him.But he would never truly be happy until he had that position and every person that overpassed him to it,would feel his coldness and this was a promise he made himself.It seemed quite a rushed choice,but Snape's haterd was always unfair and done quickly.He closed the door shut with a sharp bang and headed off down to a door he knew lead to the Potions Master's office.He found his things already sat upon his desk and began to unpack them with a swish of his wand.He looked around at the bear and dull walls that he liked very much.Snape found the other door that led to his chambers and thus here did he lay his head.And through all his exhaustion,confusion,anger and happiness,did he fall asleep.
Over the next few days,Snape watched Stella's attitude towards him infront of others and when it was just the two of them.Alone together,she was just as cold as when they had first met,if not even more so.But when in the company of others with him,she was very different but all the same dropped in little hints that she was talking about him.Like the first day of term on the first morning.
He sat next to Dumbledore up at the staff table and saw Stella enter.He groaned to himself as she sat down beside him.A small smile played on her lips but he did not notice this.Snape picked up his cup of tea and began to drink as to avoid talking to her,as this is what she usually did when in front of others.But instead,Dumbledore began to talk to her.
"How are you doing so far,Stella?"he asked politely.
"Oh,I am fine.I have always been intrigued by the Dark Arts and find them fasicnating to teach to others."she said sweetly but he could sense there had been some insult directed at him in there.
"Ah yes,I do find it useful to know these things.But tell me,what fascinates you the most?"
"Boggarts."Stella replied simply her eyes swiftly glancing at Snape."They may not be the hardest thing to learn about but they never stop fascinating me.I mean,someone could hold their darkest fear for years and years and then if they confront a boggart in front of a room full of people,their secrets out.And I'm always interested by what people are scared of."Snape stopped drinking his tea.He knew nearly all of that had been directed at him.She must know something.But what?And how?Dumbledore and Stella talked about this all breakfast whilst Snape sunk deeper and deeper into his chair.He felt sick and only hoped that it was because he was hungry.Surelt I do not fear her?He thought this first laughingly and then quite seriously.He took a piece of toast from the plate in front of him and looked around for the butter.It was on his right to Dumbledore and he was just about to pick it up when Stella leant over him and took it.
"I can't eat me toast without butter!"she said merrily.Snape threw a very dirty look and she returned it with a sickly sweet smile.He took a moody bite of toast and felt the dry crunchiness inside his mouth.
He had his first lesson straight after breakfast with some Second Years.Usually Second years knew quite a bit about Potions making by now,but he had such a vicious feeling inside of him and he wanted to unleash it without making himself looking a fool.If he could show them how unnice he was then he would have complete power over the class.He had seen this with the cowering Death Eater's at the Dark Lord's feet and knew how scared they had been when he had been scared himself.They were all outside,lined up neatly.They seemed to quieten as he approached and almost at once they could sense he was not someone to muck about with.His black eyes swept over the group and he was trying to figure out who looked the weakest and would be an easy target to pick on.He saw a small boy at the very end of the line who looked extremely shy.Excellent.he thought.Now all he had to was wait for the time to come.
"Inside."he hissed,pushing the door open.They all trooped in silently and sat down,getting out their things.He slammed the door when he entered the last and made everybody jump.Snape stood at the front of the classroom.He scanned the whole class again to make sure that everyone was looking at him and if there was someone to pick on.But everyone was looking at him,there eyes full of fear.Already had he made his impression and marked his terrietry.
"Today,you will be a making a simple potion that I would expect a four year old to make.It is that to cure warts.Instructions are on the board."He gestured towards the black board where chalk began to scratch onto it."Ingrediants are in the cupboard.You have one hour.Start."
Everybody got out of their seats and over to the cupboard.He watched them go and knew it would only be time until one of them went terribley wrong.After about forty minutes,the room was full of different coloured smokes yet no one had gone terribley wrong.He knew he would make a fool of himself if he told someone off for no apparant reason.So he would have to give someone a nudge in the wrong direction.Snape swept around all the cauldrons,his robes billowing behind him.Some of them smelt repulsive but he needed a victim to whom he could reallt pick on.As he moved nearer to the front,he saw the boy he had seen outside and to his astonishment,that his potion was almost perfect.I can't have this.A cruel smile played on his lips.He moved away from the cauldron and to the cupboard where he slowly dipped his finger tips into a jar of white powder.He passed the cauldron again and very carefully,without anyone noticing,sprinkled the powder in.He moved away quickly and at once the potion began to bubble and smoke.Snape watched as the boy looked hopelessly at his potion and then frantically began trying to put out the fire that had got out of control underneath his cauldron.Now was the time.
"You boy!What's you name?"he barked,getting closer to the boy who looked utterly terrified.
"W..Widelin,sir."he chirped quietly.
"Well,Widenlin,what have you done to your potion?"
"I.I don't know sir.It just began to bubble and..."
"You must have done something wrong.Did you not read the instructions propelly or did you forget a vital ingreadiant?"he sneered.Snape now knew that everyone had stopped what they were doing and was looking at him.
"I don't think so,sir."Widenlin said croakly.He was shaking slightly and any other teacher would have sympathised with him deeply.But Snape was no other teacher.
"Well,well,Mr Widenlin.Twenty House points from Gryffindor for wasting my time and vauble ingrediants."Snape finished with a hiss and turned his back to him.He sat back down at his desk.To him,that had felt good.For the rest of the lesson,everyone made sure their potion's were perfect in fear of what would happen to them if they didn't.When everybody had left,he set off for his office when he met someone in the corridor.
"That was a little harsh,wasn't it?"came a voice from behind him.He spun round,expecting to see a student,but instead it was Stella.
"Excuse me?"he replied rudely,not the faintest idea what he was on about.
"Picking on a second year?Oh Severus!Hang your head in shame."she said mockingly.The his blood turned red hot and he had many things to say each filled with the haterd towards which he did not know where it came from.
"The haterd of a man you do not know?Is that not very childish and unreasonable?"he said icily,hoping that she might drop in some hint as to why she hated him so much.
"Haterd?Who ever spoke of haterd?I do not hate you.I loathe you."she hissed.
"Yet you leave me wondering why."he said in barely above a whisper.Stella gritted her teeth.
"All in good time."she said before walking off.What was that suppose to mean?Snape thought as she left him quite confused once again.
Good?Bad?Boring?Some kind of opinion?Everything to feedback please!
June 11th, 2006, 4:32 pm
Snape tried to ignore Stella's remarks but the words 'All in good time' stuck in his head.He went to bed early but didn't sleep for a good few hours until his eyes fell heavy.Even in his dreams he could not escape Stella and her words that kept confusing him.He was stood in a middle of a pleasant woodland forest and the sun began to rise as her voice faded.He could see dark shadows on the otherside of the woods and the darkness ebbed over him.He turned the other way and began to run when someone tapped him on the shoulder.He turned around swiftly and saw Lily smiling pleasantly at him.He couldn't believe his eyes.She looked just as wonderful as when she had left him.She slipped her hand into his and he felt light come back over where he stood.Lily carried on smiling at him.
"Lily."he whispered.She nodded but still she didn't speak.He put his arm around her and held her in a hug.But Stella's voice came back but this time it was not the hissing whisper that he had heard her say into nothingness,but a bark and quite a vicous one at that.
"Lily!"she shouted.Snape looked over Lily's shoulder but he could not see her anywhere.He looked behind him but could only see the woodland still behind him.Lily suddenly stopped smiling.He could feel her hand slipping out of his but he tried hold on.Some how she just managed to disappear from his hold and ran into the woods behind him.
"Lily!"he called after her.But she didn't come back to him.She seemed to be following the sound of Stella's voice as it faded away once more,but this time,Lily left with it.Coldness grew over the pleasant woodland so that it became darker and the trees seemed to be moving closer together.The sky grew grey and was blocked from sight.He tried to run but fell over onto the cold,hard ground.
Snape woke up as though he had actually been running through the forest.He knew it had been a dream yet the sensation of seeing Lily again had been so real.And Stella.He had heard Stella's voice so clearly that she could have whispered in his ear whilst he slept.She knows Lily.he thought.She must know Lily!Everything seemed to piece together.Her haterd.Her nastiness.But she can't possibly know,could she?He picked his wand up of the bedside cabinet and flicked into thin air.In bright yellow numbers,the time appeared.6:30 amit floated above his bed.Deciding he could no longer sleep with such a heavy load on his mind,Snape got up.Perhaps he would go for a walk.He expected to see no one up at such a time but as came out of the dungeons,he noticed someone walking down the staircase.They stopped as soon as they noticed him see them.
"Lumos!"he thought.His wand tip ignited with light and he shone it over to the staircase.He could work out it was a woman by the shadows and it was only when he when she spoke did he realise who it was.
"What are you doing up at such a time?"Stella hissed.Snape gave a small smile to himself and he was glad it was so dark that she could not notice this.
"I couldn't sleep."he replied,quietly.
"Did you have a nightmare?"she said so sweetly and so sympatheticly that to anyone other than Snape would have taken her seriously.
"No,not really.More of a vision."he said,ignoring the amount of sarcasm thrown at him.
"A vision?"she asked.He could tell that she was hiding back much interest and he smiled even more to himself.But he still had a pressing matter on his mind.
"Lily Evans."he blurted out.
"What?"Stella looked away from him and was thankful he could not see this.
"Lily Evans."Snape repeated more slowly."Do you recognise the name?"
"Should I?"she said hurridely,even for those two words.
"I don't know.That's why I'm asking."
This seemed to be a witty comment to Stella who began to grit her teeth.
"What if I don't give you an answer?"she said,between clenched teeth.
"I will find out anyway.Have you ever heard of Legimency?"It was Snape's time for mockery.
"And maybe you ought know that I am skilled at Occulemency.You'll get nothing out of me!"she snarled.She would not weaken herself to allow him to poke his abnormally large nose into her buisness.
"So you do know her?"
Stella glared at him for a moment and then she gave up,but not enough to leave out quite vaulable information.
"I knew Lily Potter.I knew her well.And I also know that you are the man who ratted out to You-Know-Who and cost her her life!"she bit her lip.Perhaps there she had let out too much information.
"And is that all you know?Nothing else?"Snape asked,rather pleasantly,enjoying himself.He was trying to focus eye contact with her but Stella wouldn't stand for it.Either she was not as good at Occulemency as she had bragged or she continued to hide something.
"I have nothing more to say."she said,looking away from him.She started to make her way back up the stairs when Snape said;
"And that is why you hate so much?"
She turned back to face him.
"Haven't I made it obvious enough?"she asked,annoyed.
"You have now."he said.One question was answered but Snape knew there were still many more to come.
Good?Bad?You know what to do!
June 13th, 2006, 5:58 pm
Snape was eager to find out more about what Stella knew about Lily.He was curious to know more and his mind buzzed with thoughts of what she could possibly know that he didn't.Stella,however,was angry with herself for letting slip too much information to him.She was determined not to do it again and did not mock him any more in fear that he would put her in a possesion that would be hard to get out of.So when they passed in the corridor,she avoided eye contact with and told herself to clear her mind,which was not easy when she had the uncomfort of him staring at her,trying to break into her thoughts and memories.She was safe for only sometime, for meal times were the worst.She had to sit right next to him and even when she sparked up a conversation with Dumbledore,she could not ignore his stare.Right now,he was scaring her instead.Snape was thinking of several plans to trick Stella into telling him more but he knew that she would possibly be able to wriggle her way out of each of them.After a day of him being avoided by her,Snape went back to his small chamber and had a glass of wine to help himself relax.He rubbed his eyes and put the glass to his lips and took a sip.How am I going to do it?he thought to himself.How can I possibly find out what she knows?His focus came back after he had rubbed his eyes and the first thing he saw was his glass.An idea occured to him and he smiled to himself.Of course!
The next day came and everyone came into the Hall for breakfast.Stella took her place at the Staff Table and looked around her.Luckily,there was no sign of Snape.She took a sigh of relief and began to shovel mountains of toast onto her toast to keep herself busy.She was so busy,in fact,that she did not notice him coming into the Hall.He looked up at her at the Staff Table and smiled.Perfect.he thought.But how do I convince her to join me?
He moved swiftly between the tables and up to his seat.Stella stopped eating.He said nothing and poured himself a cup of tea.She watched him for a while before going back to her toast,but it wasn't long before he started to talk.
"What are you doing tonight?"he said quietly.Stella stopped eating again but this time turned to face him.
"I beg your pardon?"she said rudely.Snape turned to face her and looked her straight in the eye.She forgot to avoid them,feeling he had been very rude towards her and wondering why.
"I said,what are you doing tonight?"he repeated,a little bit slower.Stella could feel the mockery towards her and sneered;
"Of what concern is it to you?"
"Of no concern,I'd just hate to think we got off on the wrong side of things."he said,politer than he had been previously.
"Is there a right side of things to you?"she asked,nearly with sheer laughter at him.
"Wouldn't you like to find out?"he asked quietly,again.She stopped laughing and was shocked to find the expression on his face was serious and she could sense that he wasn't acting.
"I..I have to go."she said quickly.She got up and nearly ran out of the Hall.Snape smiled to himself.Dumbledore watched her exit the Hall quickly.He leaned in closer to Snape and said;
"What's the matter with her?"
"No idea."he lied,shaking his head.
For the rest of the day,Stella could hardly concentrate on teaching.She had to keep herself occupied though,because when she sat down,her thoughts strayed to Snape and his words and they made her feel confused by him.And she couldn't possibly help but stray herself to think;Why don't I go and see what he wants?But then of course another voice shouted at her;
Because he's Severus Snape!She skipped lunch and dinner and instead went to her office to try and keep herself busy.Snape noticed that she was hiding from him.He couldn't help but think he had got to her.Yet after being stuck in her office for several hours and finding nothing else possible to do,she decided to put her mind to rest and go and see him.But she swore to herself that she would not let slip too much or let him take control over her.Merely,she would see what he wanted and then come straight back up to bed.She looked at the clock.9:00 pm.Most students would be in bed and would not see her creep down into the dungeons to go and see the school's Potion Master.That would be the last thing she would want people to be talking about her for!So,after ten minutes of hanging around outside the Great Hall,she started to take the route down to the dungeons,thankful on how dark it was.She came outside Snape's office door and took a deep breath.She knocked quietly and hoped he hadn't heard her,but he opened the door and smiled when he saw her.
"Stella,what a pleasant suprise."he said softly.
"Snape."she said,a tad bit nervous."Can I ask you something?"
"Of course."he said simply."Ask away."Stella looked around her but she could see no one.
"Can I come in?"she asked quietly,as though they were several people around them.He opened the door even wider and she passed through him into his office.He closed the door behind him.Stella turned towards him and was just about to talk when Snape interupted her.
"Would you like a drink?"he asked.She concidered him for a minute.
"Sure."she said cooly.She was tried to make herself seemed relaxed.Snape turned his back to her and moved over to a cabinet full of bottles,some alcohol,some potion.He poured her a glass of blood red wine and then added a clear syrum to her drink.He passed her the drink and she drunk it quite quickly.Stella started to cough.
"How strong is that stuff?"she asked croakerly,her throat quite sore.
"You're not meant to throw it down your throat."he said.But he knew perfectly well how strong that stuff was and it was just as strong as he had intended it to.Five minutes passed,in a mildly interesting conversation about the Dark Arts.Stella was beginning to feel quite woozy by now,and wanted to go up to bed,but something made her stop where she was.Snape noticed her eyes roll and knew the drink and syrum must have begun to kick in.
"Coming off the Dark Arts,Stella,how are you feeling?"he asked,forcing concern into his voice.
"Not too good."Stella groaned.Her eyes widened slightly.She had not meant to say that but it seemed to have slipt out.
"Ahm.And,er,You knew Lily,did you?"he asked,kicking into his questioning.Stella wasn't about to answer when she felt light headed.
"Yes.Yes I did."she said slightly slurred.
"And how do you know her?"
"She was my friend,silly."she laughed,giddely.Snape smiled slightly.
"Really?And what did you know about her?"
"Loads.I know she used to be really unhappy with James.You know,I don't think she really liked him.You know what the funny thing is?"Snape shook his head."She married him!"Stella laughed loudly,off her head by now.
"Did she ever say she had an affair?"he asked,more interested in this question than the others.She shook her head.
"No.Lily might have been some things,but I know for sure that she would never have done anything like that!"she said as though the idea was impossible.Snape didn't know what else to ask but a few more questions sprang to mind.
"So that's why you hate me?"
"No,no,no!"she laughed."I don't hate you!Don't be ridiculous.Your a smart man,very smart.In fact,I think you're smarter than me."she whispered.Her head spun and she fell asleep onto the floor.Snape looked at her for a minute.He was rather pleased with himself.
"Thank you."he said merrily to the fast asleep Stella on the floor.He stared at her for a moment then sighed.Should I leave her here and make her think she has done something terrible?he thought to himself.Could he be that rotten and sick?He gave her some dignity.Instead,he hoist her outside his office door,an empty bottle of wine in her hand.
June 19th, 2006, 7:42 pm
Snape came out of his office and noticed the crumbled heap that was Stella at his feet.He smiled to himself as she continued to sleep,unaware of anything that was about to happen.Maybe now she'll leave me be.he thought.He knew how horrid he was being,but at the end of the day,he didn't care.He bent down beside her and looked at her closely.
"Sweet dreams my sweet."he whispered.He left the dungeons almost laughing as a clad of Slytherins passed his office door and found Stella laying there.
When Stella woke up,her head was killing her.She didn't open her eyes but it felt like she had been sleeping on something hard and cold.She rubbed her neck and she felt her fingers knock against something wooden.She opened her eyes and found that she was layed on the floor in the dungeons.Stella gasped and turned her head to look at the door.Snape's office.she thought.Oh God!Snape's office!She hurled herself up from the ground and she felt coldness against her arm.She let go of a empty wine bottle that smashed as soon as it hit the ground.What on earth is going on?Immediantly her mind sprang to the thoughts of wanting to go down and see Snape,but she could not remember why.She felt sick with the mere thought of anything like that.Quickly,she took her wand out of her robes and pointed at her long brown hair so that her hair would be tidy.She brushed down her robes but her mind was still buzzing.I'll ask him.she thought simply.The image of Snape's smug face came into view and she shuddered.
"Never."she said to herself."Never would I sink that low!”
She made her way out of the dungeons,thankfully seen by nobody and into the Great Hall.Everyone was chatting loudly but as soon as she walked in,the talking died.All eyes were on her,including those that belonged to the teachers up at the Staff Table.She looked at them all,seeing the judgememt reflected in their eyes ,until she found Dumbledore's twinkling blue ones but there she could see no twinkle.She gulped but could see Snape carrying on eating his breakfast as though he had not noticed her come in.The chatter started again,louder than before,and Stella knew that this time they were talking about her.But they can't know!But she knew they did.She nearly ran up to the Staff Table and took her seat next to the man who had humiliated her.But has he?[Have I not humiliated myself?/I]No,the blame seemed easier to put on him rather than herself.Stella didn't make eye contact with anyone as she took a bowl of porridge and began to shovel it into her mouth,unable to speak.Snape watched her out of the corner of his eye,looking for her weakness.It was obvious that she was shaken by finding herself outside his office door and that she had no memory of what happened,just like he had intended to.
"Severus."said a quiet voice.Snape turned round to see who was speaking.It was Dumbledore,no happy smile on his face or gleeful twinkle in his eye.He looked gaunt and unhappy and Snape could only suspect why.
"I would like to see you and Professor Webster in my office after breakfast please.It is urgent."he said in a plain tone.He noticed the force pushed behind 'Professor Webster' and that Dumbledore was believeing all of the trashy rumours.But so was Stella.sShe was convinced it was the truth.Snape leaned in slightly closer to Stella who tried to move away from him at the same time.
"Dumbledore wants to see us in his office after breakfast."he whispered.Her skin tingled.He made her feel so ashamed even though she didn't know the truth.[I]But he does!And of course he'll have to tell Dumbledore.At least that way she would know the truth even if it was horrific.She ate her breakfast without speaking and left the table quickly,ignoring all the eyes following her.She stopped once she was out of sight of anyone and slumped against a wall.She put her hands in her face and stayed like that for a moment,deep in thought.What she would learn in Dumbledore's office would either give her the confidence that she wanted so very much or break her whole world down over one stupid night.She crossed her fingers,hoping to gain her confidence back.A few minutes later,Dumbledore came out of the Hall,folllowed by Snape who looked at Stella.She avoided his gaze and began to walk with Dumbledore,who was quite reluctant to shake her off,but at the same time was curious to know why she was staying by him.Perhaps she is ashamed.he thought wisely to himself.He knew they had to be more behind the rumours that he had heard.They got to his office and he sat down at his desk.Snape and Stella remained standing,at least fifteen feet apart from each other.
"So."Dumbledore began."Who would like to explain?"Stella looked quickly at Snape and then away again.She knew nothing and was a terrible liar.It was all down to him.
"I feel I should explain this whole catsrophe,Headmaster,you see,obviously the rumours are not true."Snape said softly.Stella relaxed slightly.Her greatest fear was put to rest.He doesn't lie to Dumbledore.she told herself just to reassure herself even more.
"Are they not?"Dumbledore asked."Stella?"
Stella was terrified at the sudden question but now it seemed easier to say so that she was happy with the story.
"No,Headmaster.The rumours are just rumours."she said.
"So what did happen?"he asked her.She looked perplexed and didn't know what to say next.
"I think I should explain,Headmaster,for I do not think that Stella will remember.She was after all quite tipsy at the time."Snape laughed.They both looked at him.Tipsy?
"You see,myself and Stella were having a highly fascinating conversation about patronuses and after a while we decided to have a drink.Just the one mind.Anyway,Stella complimented me highly on a bottle of elf-made wine and I gave her a bottle to be going about with.Little did I know,that when she left she would like to drink the whole bottle before going to bed."he continued.It was well thought out and Snape congratulated himself in his head.Dumbledore looked at him for a moment and then turned to Stella.
"Is this true Stella?Nothing else occured?You just drunk too much?"
She looked at Snape quickly,who nodded.She turned back to Dumbledore.Do I really want to give him that I have a drinking problem?she thought quickly.Rather that than someone who liked that greasy git!That was agreeable.
"Yes,Headmaster.I am so sorry."she apologised very deeply,bowing her head.She thought the story through her head once more.It was very convincing.Perhaps too convincing?
"That is all well Stella.Just reassure me it won't happen again?"Dumbledore said raising his eyebrows.Stella looked up and nodded.
"Very well then,you can leave."
She left first closely followed by Snape.She turned round to face him and he nearly fell over.
"What are you doing?"he asked,annoyed.
"That's not the truth,is it?"she asked.She didn't really want an answer but still she had to know the truth.Snape looked at her for a moment and then said quietly.
"Why are you determined to know the truth?"
"Because I know that I wouldn't sink as low as to.....it's unthinkable.But you,it seems are the only one who knows the truth."she said bitterly.
"How true."he smirked.He loved to see her bubble with anger.It was pleasurable.
"So tell me,what happend?"she pestered him further.He didn't speak for a moment.He was doing some quick thinking.
"I might as well lay your mind to rest.Nothing happendbut I must say,for me the night was precious."he smiled.
"Why?What made you so happy if nothing happend?"He was pushing her further and further to know more.
"Come now Stella,you are being vein.Just because a man has you in his presence does not mean that he wishes to indulge in such activities."
She blushed but there was still anger fighting in her body.
"I'll find out.I swear it I will."she said threatingly.Snape looked at her for a minute.
"Just like I found out?"he said quietly.She stopped in total confusion and he passed her back down the Marble Staircase and to his office.He knows something.I told himself something.How could I be so stupid?
Liked it?:tu: Hated it?:td: Confused?:huh: Boring?:grumble: Let me know in my feedback thread!:D :D :p
June 20th, 2006, 4:27 pm
Revenge and The Ugly Truth
Stella was fuming.All she wanted to do right now was go and thump Snape in his abnormally large nose,but she couldn't.She couldn't even move.She was stuck there,bitterly disappointed in herself for letting slip whatever she had and he knew a secret that he could use against her.It must have been something crucial to him.Something important.Think!What has he kept bugging me about?Stella racked her brains and thought hard.She retraced her steps in her memory.She had gone down to his office.Why?Why did I go there?She closed her eyes and thought back to as far as she could,every single detail being put in place.Of course!The memory sprung to her mind and she concentrated on it hard.He had asked me what I was doing that night,like he was my friend.I was curious to know what he wanted.Stella smacked herself on the side of her head.Curiousity always got the best of her.
"Stupid,stupid!"she mumbled angrily to herself."Well,I can't let him get away with this.I've given him too much.Now I want something back."She smiled to herself as many horrid thoughts sprung to mind on how to trick him,but she could see how he could get out of each and every one of them,with a witty remark or change of topic.There was only one thing for it.She'd have to go back down to the scene of the crime and comfront him,and if he didn't cooperate,she'd have to do the dirty.She would have to convince the whole school of something drastic that he had done to her or otherwise.Again,several ideas popped up inside her head,but none seemed as satisfying the second time round.The bell sounded outside of her thoughts and she started to make her way for the third floor.Now she had to face a class of stupid school children who believed anything they were told even when the truth is a great big lie.She stomped into the classroom,prepared for what they were going to throw at her.She could handle it.
"Quiet!"she bellowed over the chatter of the students as they began talking even louder as she entered,no doubt talking about her.They died down slowly and all eyes were on Stella.She looked at each and every one of their smug faces,but she knew the truth and they didn't.And for that,she could cope.
"Today,we,that is to say you,are going to be learning about the laws of defensive spells and how to avoid them.If anyone finds themself to weak to persue this lesson,leave now."she said bitterly.No one left but a boy with light brown hair on the front row had a huge grin on his face.This did not amuse her,but she said nothing.Stella cast him a threatening look but the next facial expression he pulled seemed humourus.
"Might I ask what is so funny,Mr Biggbe?"she said softly,but very deadly.He didn't respond for minute but waited until he had the whole class's attention before starting his sentence.
"It's just that,well Miss,who are you to judge weaknesses?"he said,trying to sound and look innocnet.The class s******ed slightly.It was a joke but it wasn't funny.She went a ghostly white and anger began to boil within her.She knew exactly what he meant by.
"What do you mean by that,Mr Biggbe?"she asked the question anyway,in a voice of forced calm.Biggbe waited again and grinned slightly before putting back on his innocent face and saying;
"Well Miss,we all get lonely every now and then but God!Professor Snape!You must have been desperate!"he said loudly and astonished.The whole class was in stitches of laughter.Stella,on the other hand,looked rigid.She had turned even whiter and had fixed the most uncomfortable stare on Biggbe that he could not simply shake it off.He looked deep within her light blue eyes but they were not light anymore.He could see only darkness and fury ebbed in them.She was still fighting with her anger but Biggbe pushed her too far.If I can embarrass her enough she'll stop staring at me like this.
"Are you pregnant now,Miss?"he asked,meaning to sound rude.Stella snapped.
"MY PRIVATE LIFE HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH YOU MR BIGGBE AND IN ANSWER TO YOUR RUDE AND UNAPPROPIATE QUESTION,NO I AM NOT PREGNANT!AND I DID OR HAVE NOT,UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES SLEPT WITH SEVERUS SNAPE,GOT THAT?!"
Silence.The whole class was staring at her now,fear showing on their faces,mixed with shock.Biggbe,otherwise had the look on his face as though he had just wet himself and as though he was about to cry.Stella looked away from him,trying to calm herself down.Yet he had given her a wonderful idea.
"Detention,Biggbe.My office,Friday evening."she said in another voice of forced calm,totally diffirent to her other one.No one spoke still and in the rest of the lesson.They all left quickly and all the classes through out the day stayed silent.Somehow,Stella wished they wouldn't,as too many thoughts had overcome in her head.But by lunchtime she had made her mind that she would go and see Snape at the dead of night.She wanted answer and she wanted them then.So she acted normally in front of him at lunch and dinner and he did not suspect a thing.Or at least she thought he hadn't.But Snape had.He watched her acting like nothing had happend and it amused him slightly.Perhaps she thinks she can hide from the situation.This was his only alternative.So the day ended there.Nearly anyway.Midnight struck and Stella was up in her office.She felt tired but was also filled with energy.She looked up at the clock and decided to make her move.Quickly and quietly,she left her office and made her way down to the dungeons,undetected.
"Lumos!"she muttered as she came face to face with Snape's office door.Her wand tip ignitated with light and she took a deep breath.She rose her fist and banged on the door,loud enough to wake him if he was sleeping.Snape opened the door and his eyes adjusted to the dark.He saw Stella standing in the doorway.
"Stella?What do you want?"he asked,annoyed.He was fully dressed and it was obvious he had not been sleeping as he had a glass of wine in his left hand.
"Answers."she replied simply,walking past him into his office.Snape sighed and closed the door shut.His office had a few candles lit and there was a book layed upon his desk.Obviously,he had been reading it.
"Answers?"he asked."For what?"
"Everything you know!Let me ask you Severus,why is the sky blue?Who put the colours in the rainbow and how on earth did I end up asleep outside your office this morning?"she asked viciously.He took a sip of wine before answering her.
"You have already been informed by this information."he said smoothly."There is no more I can tell you."
"Lies!That's a pack of lies and you know it!Tell me the truth!"she shouted at him.Snape did nothing but look at her for a moment and smile to himself.
"Or you'll do what exactly?"he whispered.She moved closer to him and hissed;
"Do you know how filthy this castle is?And do you know how easy it is to spread even more dirt?"He said nothing and stopped smiling.
"You are serious?"
She nodded.A spark flickered in his mind.
"Like what exactly?"His smugness was coming back but she wasn't going to let that happen.
"Everyone thinks I've slept with you and believe me,even though I have shouted it in front of a whole class,they still think I've slept with you.Now that wasn't too wise a choice to pick,was it?You see Severus,what can be the aftermath of that?What could happen in nine months time and what could I tragically confess that I hold something of yours that can only happen after your rumour has taken it's toll?"she said quietly in his ear.The smugness was wiped clean of Snape's face and he could tell how seriously she was being.
"They could take away your job."he mumbled,trying to make a come back.
"And yours."she replied.Snape was lost for words.He had to surrender or throw away all chances of every being happy again.Hogwarts is home.The only place where he has ever even felt a shred of happiness.
"Fine."he said sharply."What do you want to know?"
Stella smiled.She had succeeded.
"You killed the Potters,didn't you?"she asked straight forward.Snape gave her a hard stare but he knew that was a mild question compared to what else she could ask him.
"Not first handedly,but yes,I suppose I might have done."He felt sick at his words.Never would he harm Lily,but to Stella,he would.
"What did I tell you last night?"she asked,pushing him a little further.It was Snape's time to smile.
"That you think I'm better at Defense Against The Dark Arts than you.And that you don't hate or loathe me.And that you were Lily's friend."he mumbled the last part whilst he had spoken strong about the first part.She looked at him,outstanded.
"You put vertiserum in my drink,didn't you?"she asked,taken aback that she had never thought of that in the first place.He nodded.She thought hard for another question.She asked the first one that came to mind.
"What were you to Lily Potter?Why do you wish to know so much about her?"
Snape's stomach dropped.He turned even paler and stood firmly still.His mouth was dry and he had no clue as to what to say.
"She was a friend."he mumbled slowly,lying through his teeth.Stella didn't believe him.
"A friend?No way.Not with you.Now tell me,what were you to her?"she urged him further.Snape was stuck in a rut.The idea of Stella finding out about him and Lily was worse than him losing the rest of his happiness,wasn't it?He didn't speak for a moment,having to endure Stella's almighty stare.
"You will really tell the whole school that you're pregnant and lose me my job?"he asked in a whisper.She nodded.He gulped and looked away from her for a minute.You have to cling on to your last chance of happiness.Do what you must.A wise voice sounded in his head.He hated it for telling the truth.He hated it!She's too hard!What can I do?This voice was feeble and weak.Lie!Lie with all your might!He wanted to follow this voice but he couldn't.It was disrespectful to Lily.He had deciced upon it then.He would do it.For Lily.
"Do you really want to know?"he asked quietly.
"Of course I do!Lily was precious to me.I want to know why you are so fasinated by what I know of her!"Stella said simply.Snape turned back to her.
"Even if the truth is horrid and painful and you'll regret asking about it?"She nodded impatiently.
"Fine."he said quietly,preparing himself."She was....my only love."Stella looked him and turned very pale.She gazed deep into his black eyes whilst her's became watery.She was searching for a sign of him joking or lying,but she could find neither.All she could see was the seriousness of a man who had not yet gotten over his true love's death.
Like it?Hate it?I have feedback!
June 22nd, 2006, 7:23 pm
Acceptance and Forgiveness
"Your lying."Stella whispered,shaking her head.Tears began to pour down her face.It's not true!Don't believe him!
"YOUR LYING!"she shouted at him.Snape looked at her and said nothing.He watched her as she backed away from him and steaded herself to remain standing.She held onto the door handle to keep herself up right and continued to cry.She gasped for air as she literally choked on her tears.
"You can't breathe."Snape murmed.He began to move further forward to her to help,but Stella moved away.
"Don't come near.Don't touch me!"she said startled.She couldn't stand to look at him and didn't even want to be in his presence.She held on tighter to the handle and pushed it down so that the door swung.She turned her back to him and gazed into the darkness.
"Stella,let me explain."he begged,moving closer to her so he was by his desk.She turned around just in time and shook her head.
"You lie!Everything you say is a lie!I don't want to hear anything from you because it's not true!"she cried.At this,Snape got quite angry.Lily was drifting back and forth through his mind looking very upset.
"Are you saying my love for her was lie?Are you saying that I'm so cold hearted that I cannot love?"he shouted,losing his temper.This only encouraged her haterd for him more.
"Yes,I am!Who could love such a man and who would want to be claimed to be loved by him?"she jeered."A fool?A desperate woman?Who would seek so low?"Snape banged his fist on the desk,shaking with rage.She jumped.
"SHUT UP!JUST SHUT UP!"he yelled,white with fury."Do not control my life for I will crush you deep into the ground."His black eyes were gleaming through the dim light and gave him the look of a mad man.He beared his yellowish teeth.Stella gave him a look of pity that he did not take as well as one might hope.
"And I don't need your sympathy!A man's trust,thats what I got last time!So please,don't even bother!"he said rudely.She continued to fix him with the same sympathetic stare that he hated so much.He looked away quickly from her and diverted himself with a drink that he threw down his throat before getting another one.Stella continued to watch him in his temper.She wasn't scared and she wasn't angry anymore.As much as she would have hated to admit it,she felt sorry for him.And he knew that,and he hated it.
"You really did love her,didn't you?"she asked quietly,as Snape started on his third drink of wine.He gulped it down and stared at her for a minute before answering,deciding that she wasn't mocking him.
"I did.I do."he said softly.I]God,woman!Have you given up so easy?What happend to your rage?Your fury?[/I]A voice sounded in her head but another voice took over.Lily.It whispered and a view of Lily came into her head as the happy person she had always been.
"It is unbelieveable of what she did.Escepially with someone like yo..."she stopped,knowing that would push it too far.Snape had seen her restrain herself and he was slightly thankful.He said nothing,wanting her to continue.
"You really did love her,didn't you?"she asked,quietly."You still do?"
"I will always love Lily."he replied."I will always care for her."
"I guess there we sit in the same boat."Stella said with a small laugh.
"Why is this so?Because you were friends?"
"No.Because she helped me out of many situations that myself alone could not have dealt with.When we at school,she was the one who prepared me for all my exams.When we left school,she encouraged to follow my heart and work with the Dark Arts.And I thank her for it."she said,giving a small smile.
"She was an extraodonairy witch."Snape said softly.
"She was wasn't she?Now I can slightly understand why you loved her so much,whilst her love for you still puzzles me."
"And me.Every day.I have no idea why she loved me,but I am grateful for it."he said gently.He came away from his desk and took a few steps nearer to Stella.She closed the door.
"She must have seen something else no one else saw."she whispered.She gazed into his eyes,trying to find whatever it could have been there,but she found nothing.She snapped out of her little trance and looked away from him,quickly.
"I should be going."she said hurridely,looking up at the clock."God!It's 1am!"
"Yes.But please,Stella,before you go,let me apologise.I should not have done such a horrid thing to you.It was wrong.I pulled you through hell and back and you really don't deserve that.I'm sorry.I should know better."Snape said quietly,rubbing his forehead.Stella waved away his apologies.
"It's fine,fine.I should of told you the truth from the beggining if I'd of known that Lily was so precious to you.Besides,I was about to tell the whole school I was expecting your child and going to lose your job."she shrugged.He smiled.
"Yeah,we are."She opened the door again and looked out into the pitch black darkness.
"Good night."she said.
"Night."Snape replied.Stella looked back at him and then to the doorway and stepped out into the darkened corridor,back to her office,her concions clear.
Like it?:tu: Hate it?:td: I have feeback!Critism always welcomed!
June 26th, 2006, 6:58 pm
Stella went up to her office and flumped straight onto her bed.Her eyes rested and she fell into a deep sleep,full of memories.She was stood outside a small house and knocked on the door.She could hear people's voices getting louder and louder as the door opened by itself.
"I can't believe you're blaming me!"a woman's voice screamed from the room to the right of the hallway.Lily Potter came into view,her face vivid.She didn't seem to notice that Stella was stood there,watching her in confusion.
"I'm not blaming you!I'm just saying you're the reason that I stressed out all the time!"a man's voice shouted back at her.James Potter came out into the hallway,his face also raged with anger.Lily's was now etched with shock.
"I'm stressing you out?Do I force you to go out at all hours and not return for days on end?!"she yelled back to him.Stella tried to make herself heard by saying;
"That's got nothing to do with it!"he cried."It's you and your pointless yelling that stresses me out so much!"Lily turned her back to him and Stella could see her sniffing back her angry tears.
"Well,maybe if you showed me more affection and care I wouldn't get so angry with you all the time."she said quietly.James rolled his eyes.
"How can I when you keep yourself bottled up all the time?It's like there's someone else who you confine in rather than me.I'm your husband.You can confind in me."he said softly.Lily had turned very pale at his words.She gulped and wiped her eyes away.She didn't turn back to James but instead moved past Stella and out the door.
"Lily!"James called after her,but she had already gone.Stella didn't look at James and quickly began to walk out after her.
She woke up in the very early hours of the morning and reviewed over her dream.The first thing she concluded to was how unhappy Lily had been.And how she had always bottled up emotion.She was hiding something.Such a big secret.Stella got up out of bed and the lit the candle on her bedside table.She peered up at the clock on her wall.Twenty to three.It showed.But she was wide awake and didn't want to go back to sleep.Instead,she left her room and her office and began to step down the Marble Staircase,no intention where she was going.Her mind was strayed to the memory and she couldn't get it out of her head.She was at the front door before she knew it.She accidently banged into something and fell over with a thud.She came out of her trance and shook her head.Someone grabbed her by the arm and pulled her to her feet.Stella's eyes adjusted to the dark and could work out the shadow of a hooked nose.
"Severus?"she asked."What are you doing up so early?"Snape let go of her arm and lit his wand.The tip ignated with light and he shone it over Stella.
"I couldn't sleep."he replied simply,shrugging.
"Oh.Well,same here,really."she said,laughingly.She was itching to ask him a question but she couldn't bring herself to do it.Snape looked over to the door.
"Fancy a stroll?"he asked,wishing to take his mind of things.
He pointed his wand sharply at the door and a flash of yellow light shot at the door so that it opened.The moonlight shone over both of them and they stepped out into the night.They stayed close to the lake and it banks and walked in silence for a few minutes before Stella piped up,annoyed with the tension of asking such a simple question.
"When were you and Lily involved?"she asked quickly.Snape stopped in his tracks.What will she think of me if she knew the truth?he thought.No lower than she does now.a bored voice told him.It had a fair point.
"Before she married Potter."he said,half heartedly telling the truth.Stella was confused.
"Oh.Because I can remember that Lily seemed to be so unhappy through out her marriage."she said stupidly.
"Well,who wouldn't be?I broke her heart,but she broke mine."he said quietly.She looked at him for a moment but swore he wasn't telling her all he could.
"How much of her can you remember?Is there anything in particular you can't forget?"she asked,rather suspicious.Snape was trying his hardest not smile and barely succeed.
"Her eyes."he said,lost in thought."Those green eyes that meant only one thing."
"Really nothing else?"Stella asked,nosily and taken aback.He raised an eyebrow out how suspicious she was.
"Should there be something else?"he asked,curious.She bit her lip for a minute,deciding what to do next.She ran up the bank and sat herself onto the grass.Snape stared at her for a minute.What the hell is she doing?
"Come here!"she called.Snape looked around him and then slowly began to trot up the bank.The sun was slowly beginning to rise and the darkness was disappearing.They could see each other clearly now and he sat down beside her.
"What are you doing?"he asked again.Stella took a deep breath and then began pull her robes down from her shoulders.Snape watched her,alarmed.She kept her cool though and bared her back to him.Snape was determined to look anywhere else but at her but something caught his attention out of the corner of his eye.
"What I remember most about Lily was her mark."Stella said.Her mark?
"What are you talking about?"Snape asked,turning towards her.Small gleams of light met his eyes as they shot across her shoulder.Immediantly he recognised it.
"Her mark."he whispered.
"Yes.We got them eight years ago.They show are moods.It was all her idea."Stella smiled.She pulled her robes back up her shoulder and turned towards him.
"She was always doing outragous things like that.But when she got married,it all changed."
Snape was listening hard.He had gone slightly pale but she hadn't noticed.
"But that was all down to James."she spat,suddenly quite vicious."It's his fault she was unhappy!I don't know why she married him!"
"Me neither."he replied quickly."Er,yes,well I'm off back to bed.Night."He got up off the grass and began to make his way back up to the castle.Stella watched him go until she could see him no more and which he set off into a run.
Like it?:tu: Hate it?:td: I have feedback!:D
July 5th, 2006, 4:25 pm
Snape ignored everything what Stella had told him about Lily being happy,not even wanting to think that he could have caused her pain.Stella was slightly concerned to why he had ran off after their conversation,but didn't let it bother her.November seemed to pass quickly and before anyone knew it,the Christmas Holidays were approaching.Thankful to get a break away from all the staring eyes and whispers,Stella had planned a quiet Christmas,hopefully just her and Snape,but he did not know that yet.She had intended to tell him on Christmas Day,in light of the celebration so that he would not reject her.Her last lesson pasted quickly and to her utmost her horror,Ned Biggby was in that class.She did her best to ignore his secret whispers and flashing eyes.She stayed cool and set them some revison work so she could not be disturbed whilst she wrote a letter to Flourish and Blotts.It read;
"Curious Curses And How To Improve Them."
Eighteen Galleons,Twelve Knuts.
Prof.Stella Lilith Webster
By 22nd December
She rolled it up ready to take to the Owlery after the class ended.She sat in silence for the last forty minutes,day dreaming about her memories about Lily and James.Slowly,she seeped into another one.
They were both in Lily's house,sat on the settee,just talking.
"So how are you?"Stella asked her."I haven't seen you in a long time."Lily looked tired and her hair was messy.Her face looked droopy and so were her emerald green eyes.She seemed to snap out of her own world and noticed Stella beside her.She shrugged,coming into the conversation.
"I've been ill.Sickness and stuff like that."she mumbled.Stella wasn't covinced though.
"Are you sure that's all?Is there nothing else?You can tell me.You can trust me."she said,much concern in her voice.Her blue eyes were alive with worry.Lily met them but anger bubbled inside her.
"That's it!Nothing else!I'm not lieing!"she ranted,furiously.Stella was taken back,shocked.
"I didn't mean anything by it.I'm just worried and....."
"There's nothing to worry about.I'm fine.Just leave me alone."she mumbled,leaping off the settee and leaving the room.Stella was speechless.She remembered thinking;What's wrong with her?
She shook her head and came out of her trance.The class had begun to get noisy.
"Quiet!"she shouted at them.They stopped talking and toned down to a hissing whisper.Stella looked up to her clock.The bell went.Everyone stopped whispering and began to pack up.They stood in silence,all eyes on Stella.Their stares were uncomfortable and the grins that went with them were even worse.
"Class dismissed."she shuddered.They all left noisily,Biggby going last.She picked up her letter and headed off to the Owlery.She chose a ginger tawny owl and attached the letter to it's leg.She turned round to face the door and went back to her office.
The holidays started and only a few students remained behind for Christmas.Stella and Snape spent Christmas Eve evening in his office,talking about different hexes and curses.But Stella was getting bored with the conversation.They were sat on the heath rug in front of the fire,warming up.
"So what do you plan to do tomorrow?"she asked,changing the subject.He looked at her suspiciously for a minute.
"Do a bit of reading,I suppose."he said silkly.She gave a small smile.
"Would you like to spend the day with me?"she asked quietly.Snape looked up at her,his face mild with shock.He didn't speak for a minute,planning his words carefully,as not to offend her.Say no!Be alone as usual!
"I suppose,if you really wish to,I mean I have nothing planned.Christmas is not my favourite holiday."he said,those being not the words he had intended to say.But they seemed fine to him when spoken.
"It's not my favourite holiday either."she said quietly."Mine's Valentines Day."Somehow,their eyes met in a strong stare that felt weird to them both.
"Really?"he said softly.He broke eye contact first and looked over to his fireplace.Stella realised what had happend and blushed into her lap.They didn't speak for a minute and then all seemed to be forgotten.
"At least now they will stop talking about you for a while."he said,soothingly.
"I suppose.But doesn't stop them does it?They could be telling their parents.I could loose my job."she sighed.
"I doubt it.Dumbledore trusts you and they trust Dumbledore.It's just a silly rumour that got out of control."
"And who started that rumour?"she asked quiet annoyed.Snape looked away from her,embarrassed.Stella realised what she had done.
"I'm sorry.I didn't mean it."she said apologetically.
"It's fine,fine.I mean,you could of gotten revenge and spread the rumour about you being pregnant with my child.Now that would have been worse."he smiled slightly.Stella began to laugh.
"Where just as bad as them,aren't we?"
"I suppose."he shrugged."But to us,it's more serious,isn't it?Were wiser.They have no idea."Stella stopped smiling.
"Yes.Sorry.I should know better."she mumbled.
"It is fine.It's just that reality should be remembered once in a while.We cannot block out things that matter."he said quietly.Stella stared at his left arm.
"Like He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named?You cannot ignore him,however hard you try."
"Exactly.Sometimes I wish I could escape him.Feeling his wrath and his anger is not pleasant.A heavy load on your shoulders."he said,gazing into space.Stella noticed him and smiled again.She swept her fringe from her face and continued to look at his arm.
"There really not that interesting.In fact,there rather dull."he said noticing her staring at it.She stopped staring.
"I'm sorry.I keep forgetting where I am and what I'm doing."she said relaxed.She was half heartedly lost in the past,with Lily,as she gazed into the fire.
"Out of reality."he said simply.She looked up at him.She didn't reply and her eyes accidently swept over his Dark Mark again.
"If you really wish to see it."he sighed,beginning to roll up his sleeve.Stella came out of the other world,finally noticing just how rude she was being.Snape wasn't offended though.
"Oh no!Really,there's no need!"she said quickly.He waved away her apologies.
"You had the decency and perhaps bravery to show me your mark,and if you wish to see mine,I have no objections."he shrugged.He rolled up his sleeve until it was past his shoulder.His arm bore the emerald Dark Mark that shone marvellously.Stella was amazed by it but Snape wasn't bothered.She leant in closer to him to get a better look.
"Disgraceful?Horrific?Shameful?"he asked.Stella shook her head.
"It is the man behind the mark that matters."she whispered.Their eyes met again and she smiled.The clock chimed in the background and she could only presume it was near Midnight.
"I should be going."she said softly.
"Yes.Yes you should."he replied quietly.Without a second thought,she flung her arms around him and kissed him on the cheek.He heisitated for a minute and then hugged her back,quickly.Unfortunately for them both,the door was open and passing at that time was a fourth year boy who very nosy.He looked only at them for a moment before running off back up to the Entrance Hall.Snape let go of her but she wasn't offended.She got up off the rug and headed for the door.He also got up the rug and rubbed his neck.
"Night."he replied.And with that,she left.
Like?Hate?I have feedback!
July 9th, 2006, 5:29 pm
Christmas Day came and everyone who had remained at the castle for the Holidays were full of cheer.The ghosts were singing,children were laughing and nobody seemed to care about anything else except for their presents and happiness.
Snape woke up to find a heavy parcel at the end of his bed.He threw back his sheets and picked the parcel up.It had a small note written on it which read;
This won't mean a lot but,Merry Christmas.I bought you a little something that might come handy now and then.
But it meant a lot more than she had thought.He did nothing for a moment,lost in another world,before he snapped out of it and began to peel away the paper.A heavy book was revealed underneath the paper and ingraved on the front of the book was the title Curious Curses And How To Improve Them.He opened to the front page where Stella had written another little note.
I'm not too bothered if you didn't really get me anything.There are better things than presents at Christmas time.
Snape smiled to himself.She was right,but she was also wrong.There were better things than presents at Christmas time,but he had gotten her something anyway.
It was almost ten am before Stella woke up and when she did,the first thing she found was a small black owl perched at the end of her bed.It had a piece of parchment attached to it's leg and held a bundle of cloth in it's beak.She stared at it for a moment before it gave an irritated squak.She jumped slightly and began to crawl to the edge of her bed.She first untied the parchment from the bird's leg and began to read.
You have to understand that I am trying my hardest to write this letter and I hope that the words come out right.I have not known you long,yet it seems I have known you longer.This is often the line spoken by one lover to another yet I feel nothing of the sort.You are dear to me,very dear.I find myself caring for you differently then I ever have for anyone else,including Lily.Really I just wanted to say,thank you.
Stella gave a watery smile.The black owl gave another loud squak and dropped the bundle of cloth onto her bed.She picked it up and unwrapped it to find a small black box underneath the cloth.Her heart began to pound wildly.Dare I peek at it?Carefully,she lifted the lid by about an inch,slowly as she went.Oh do get on with it!her impatience told her.Quicker now,she took the lid of and gazed at the sight that met her eyes.An emerald pendant sat on a fine piece of white silk in the small black box.She daren't touch it unless it shattered immediantly.A tear dropped down from her eye,but these were tears of happiness.And to think all you got him was a stupid book!She laughed at herself and put the lid back onto the box.Stella leapt out of bed so quickly that the small owl fell off and flapped it's wings violently.She rushed over to a shelf on the wall where she kept her wand and pointed it straight at her.Immediantly,her white night dress had turned into a beautiful smooth black dress.Another flick of her wand and her hair was tidy and straight.She rushed out of her bedroom door and down the Marble Staircase.Where will I find him?What will I say?
Her questions were answered.She spotted him coming up from the Dungeons and heading for the Great Hall.She was about to call out to him when she stopped,lost for words.Snape glanced up at the Marble Staircase and saw her there.They made eye contact,but then he broke it,being shy and trying his hardest not to show it.She continued to walk down the Marble Staircase until she reached him.Luckily,they were alone.
"Thank you."she whispered.He didn't know what to say and neither did she really.She put her arms round him and they embraced,without even thinking.Something jabbed into his stomach and Stella realised what it was.She let go of him and looked at the little black box.
"It's beautiful."she said,wiping away a tear,quickly.Snape said nothing for a moment,still lost for words.She opened the lid and the emerald pendant shone brightly.
"Would you like me to put in on you?"he asked,not really thinking about how it would sound.It wasn't too bad though.
"Yes,that would be nice."she nodded.Stella gave him the box and turned so that her back was to him.He gently lifted the necklace out of the box and took a step towards her.She tossed all of her brown hair to her left shoulder and Snape could see the top of her mark as tiny gleams of light shot back and forth across her shoulder,a deep blue in colour.He wanted to reach out and touch them,but he stopped himself.Instead,he lifted the necklace over Stella's head and around her neck.She tossed all her hair back and turned towards him.The emerald pendant shone marvellously.
"It really is beautiful."she said again.Snape wasn't listening.He was trying to remember.The colour the mark had been,which mood does it represent?He thought hard,trying to remember when he had seen that colour on Lily's mark.Before she had to leave.he thought.The night she....The thought was unbearable and he seeped back into the real world,feeling pathetic and weak.
"And to think all I got you was a stupid book!"she said laughingly.
"What?Oh yes,yes.Well,I'm sure it will come in handy like you said."he said,trying to act as though he knew what she had been on about.He had something pressing on his mind though,and just wanted to make sure he was right.
"Stella,that mark on your shoulder,what do the colours represent?"he asked,sounding casual whilst anxiousty burnt inside him.
"There my moods."she said,taken a back a little."Red is for anger,Black is for pain,Green is for sorrow,Yellow is for Happiness,Pink is for Love and Blue is for...you know,I'm not too sure."Snape almost burst.
"You don't know?"he asked,impatience trying to escape him,but he bottled it in.She shook her head.
"I think it is the mood or feeling when one is deeply relaxed.I'm not 100% sure though."
He said nothing for a minute.Is that how Lily had felt at that moment?
"And is that how you are feeling?"he asked."Deeply relaxed?"
Stella looked at him a little bit suspicous.
"Sort of.But I don't think mine has ever shone dark blue.Lily told me that it is only when you feel you can do anything and wouldn't care what the conciquences were.She was rather over the top when explaining it.It sounds like a good mood to be in."Nobody talked for a few minutes,both of their thoughts of Lily.They could hear the talking from the Great Hall getting louder and knew that someone would come out soon enough.
"Listen."Snape begun."I don't know what you might have planned for today,but,we could always go to my office and chat,perhaps.If that's really what you'd want to do,I mean you don't have to if you don't want to."He rambled the last part quickly,trying to make it sound as though he wasn't begging for her company,even though he actually was.She just smiled though.
"That would be lovely."she said,softly.He stopped talking and gave a small smile.She took his arm and they began their way to the Dungeons.They were gone a few minutes when a fourth year boy poked his head out from behind a large statue and smiled.
Like it?:D Hate it?:grumble: Let me know!
July 12th, 2006, 8:01 pm
Stella and Snape ended spending the whole day together,completely forgetting what day it was.They missed Christmas Dinner and the little staff party organised in Dumbledore's office.Well,of course they were the talk of the party after about an hour of their absence and Dumbledore was not amused.He was annoyed by the way his staff were acting but tried to stay in a bright spirits.He ignored all the petti comments made the professors gossiping in the corner.The day ended at last and Snape's office door.
"Good night!"Stella whispered,half giggling as she stumbled out of the office.They had gotten hold of a wine and made toasts to whatever they could think of.They had drunk to the occasion,to no pesky students for a fortnight and shyly done,to each other.Thus had the drink really taken it's toll.She made her way back up to her office,through the dark corridors,hiccuping every so often.She nearly slipped,clambering up the Marble Staircase,but managed to grab onto the bannister.She heard someone suddenly stop walking behind her.She turned around quickly but couldn't see anyone as it was too dark.She searched for her wand in her robes.Once she found it and lit it,they had already gone.What on earth were they doing?Stella finally reached her office and flopped onto her bed,instantly falling asleep.
The next morning,Stella had no memory of anyone following her as her head pounded.I don't have a hang over.I don't have a hangover!She kept telling herself this but she had to admit it sooner or later.She felt sick and thirsty and she wobbled slightly as if she was about to fall over.She went down for breakfast at about half past nine and slumped into her seat.She glanced at Snape beside her,who looked the absolute opposite of how she felt.
"How do you do it?"she whispered.Everyone else was occupied with their breakfast to take any notice of her.All except for Dumbledore,who had finished his and was now politely easedropping as he pretended to be cleaning his knife and fork.
"I beg your pardon?"Snape asked,quietly,a frown upon his face.
"The way that you can drink yourself silly and then feel nothing of it's after effects!"she hissed,quiet annoyed and jealous of him.Snape saw this and smiled to himself.
"Feeling well?"he taunted in a whisper."Stomach not strong enough?"Stella rolled her eyes and clicked her tongue.
"Oh ha ha ha!Very funny!"she said,raising her voice slightly.He sighed.
"There is no need to be so annoyed.Wine has just never taken it's toll on me."he said,trying to keep the smugness out of his voice.He didn't breach very well at it.She was about to have another go when something told her to drop it.Dumbledore glanced quickly over the two and stopped earwigging.You see there was need for that,Albus.The two just had too much to drink.something told him.It wasn't a comfort though.The last time they had both had something to drink there had been rumours flying around about the two which were not nice.A pit of worry opened inside Dumbledore's stomach,but he ignored it as he left the Great Hall.
"He was spying on us."Snape said very quietly,so quietly in fact that Stella only just heard him.
"Dumbledore,he was easedropping."he said,gesturing to the empty Headmaster's chair.Stella looked at the chair and then to Snape,her face expressing puzzledness.
"Why would he?"she asked him,nervous laughter in her voice.He shrugged.
"He might think what some still do.About you and I."She gave a small gasp.
"You set him straight!Why should he still asume this?"
"Wouldn't you be suspicious if two people stayed in the same room all day,not coming out at anytime and speaking to no else except the person they are with?Skipping every meal and ignoring everyone else?"he asked sternly.Stella blinked hard.
"Does he not trust us?"
"Dumbledore does not trust drink.He does not trust drink with a male and a female.He can be such a stereotype."
"But there is nothing between us!"she said nearly shouting it.
"And nobody believes that.You must not get too worked up on the situation.It is not your fault.If anything,it is mine."Snape said softly.Stella took pity on him.
"You did not start the rumours."
"I intended to."he sighed.She had a jolt of blameth insid her but let it pass.
"It does not matter what they think.I am more concerned about what Dumbledore thinks!He thinks we've been playing about he could sack us!"she said in a hysterical.
"I am sure he wouldn't be so harsh."Snape said calmly,but he too had a heavy dead weight over him about that.His job was his life.If he didn't have Hogwarts,he had nothing.They didn't speak for a minute but were deep in worry about losing their jobs.They departed after Breakfast,Stella making his way back to bed whilst Snape desended to the dungeons.He was still stuck in thought and hadn't noticed Stella saying goodbye to him.He sat down and rested his head back.I must do something to stop these obserb rumours!But how?What to do?Let people see if their rumours are true?!That would be ridiculous!The only advantage to that is that they would then....leave us alone.He pondered for a while until he came to his descion.
Likey?Hatey?I have feedback!!!!
July 17th, 2006, 6:22 pm
The holidays were over.The students came back to Hogwarts with a new piece of juicy gossip under their belts.Everywhere they went,Snape and Stella could hear the horrific whispers of their Christmas Day together.There seemed to be no point in telling anyone the truth as no one believed them.Even the other members of staff could be seen sometimes whispering in a corner.Stella was sick of it.She gave up,to weak to go on.Her lessons failed as all her students did were gossip and she could not make herself heard.Every now and then her ears burnt violently as she heard someone say something rude about her.Laughter rang in her ears through out the whole lesson and she could not concentrate.Snape,on the other hand,had taken a totally different approach to the whole thing.He held his head up high,determined to keep himself sane.He was still the up-tight Potions Master and didn't let anyone get to him.He told gossipers off and but the students firmly in their place.Stella did not attend any meals and not only did Snape grow concerned for her,but Dumbledore was starting to worry as well.One night,Stella sat in her office,fiddling with the emerald pendant.It gleamed in the dim light.She had nit wanted to take it off as it was the only thing that she had that was precious.Nothing else she had she cared about as much.Her stomach rumbled viciously but she ignored,trying to not find an excuse to leave her room.Why I am hiding?This has no advantages!I am lonely,hungry and cold!And I cannot hide forever.She was right though.She glanced at the door but just couldn’t find it in herself to go out.Suddenly,there was a knock at the door.She thought whether to answer it or not before she said;
“Who is it?”
“Stella,it’s me.”Snape’s voice came from the other side of the door.She groaned.
“Can’t you let me be?”she asked,annoyed.
“I would,but I’m afraid I really must see you.”
“Why?”she said suspiciously.
“Answer the door and maybe I’ll tell you.”Stella sighed.She got up from her chair and went to open the door.Snape stood on the other side and he smiled at her as she opened it.
“What do you want?”she asked rather rudely.He was not taken about by her coldness and merely ignored it.
“To see how you are.”he replied simply,stepping past her into the office.
“You think this is appropriate?With the whole school talking about our so-called sex life?”she asked,a little laughter in her voice as she shut the door.
“Surely not the whole school!”he said dryly,pretending he hadn’t heard her rude conspiracy.
“Well,It’s seems to be only me and you aren’t talking about it!”she cried.”Everyone else is convinced to their back teeth there’s something going on!”Snape looked shifty.
“Ah,but I’m afraid we will have to discuss it as well.”he said quietly.
“What is there to talk about!Nothing happened!Nothing will!”she shouted,getting frustrated.Snape still stayed utterly cool which annoyed Stella even further.She turned her back to him,not wanting to meet his eyes.
“We must discuss how we will fight through these lies and rumours.”he said quietly,getting closer to Stella.”We must fight fire with fire.”
“You would have us all burn to death?”she joked stupidly.He smiled.
“You see.This is why we must tread carefully.I cannot promise you that this will all blow over anytime soon.”he said soothingly.Stella felt most of her anger seep away,but she still had a small amount of worry eating away at her.She turned back to him,her eyes glazed with uncried tears.
“But Dumbledore….”she stared.
“Dumbledore trusts us both.I am sure if we went to him and explained everything he’d believe us.”he said softly.Stella did nothing for a minute but stare at Snape.
“Then let’s go.”she said breaking the silence.”Let’s go to Dumbledore.”She began to head towards the door and held it open for Snape.
“Are you sure this is what you want to do?”he asked,not moving.She nodded.
“Yes,yes.I want my name cleared.”she said boldly.He stared at her for a moment before he began to walk to the door and then out.Stella went after him,shutting the door behind her.
They made their way to Dumbledore’s Office together.Heads turned as they went and everyone started to whisper.Stella gulped and tried her hardest to hold her head up high.Snape acted cool,as though he didn’t have a care in the world and walked swiftly and quickly.They were soon outside Dumbledore’s Office.
“Fire Fizzers.”he barked at the gargoyles.They jumped aside,admitting them to Dumbledore’s Office.They quickly leapt onto the moving stairs until they came to the thick oak door.Snape bravely knocked loudly on the wood.
“Enter.”said a frail,old and somewhat tired voice.He opened the door and walked into the room,Stella following behind him.Dumbledore looked up from his desk and his eyes seemed to gleam in shock for a moment before he said;
“What can I do for you,Severus?”He put away his parchment and quills and began to wait for Snape to explain.
“It is rather,Headmaster,what you can do for us.”he said,stepping to the side so that Stella could not hide any longer.She had an expression of mildy alarm on her face,and could not meet the bright blue eyes that stared at her.Dumbledore turned back to Snape.
“Continue.”he said softly.
“Yes well,no doubt you have heard these ridiculous rumours that have been going around me and Stella that are untrue.We hate being whispered about everywhere we go.All we want is to be seen together without the pathetic gossip.”he said,trying to state his point well,but breaking down somewhere along the way.Dumbledore looked at him for a moment before replying,in a rather hoarse tone;
“So there is something going on,is there?”Snape looked outraged and Stella flopped her head.
“No.There is nothing going on!We are friends,nothing more.Just friends!”he said through his teeth.Dumbledore stared him again for a minute before he turned on Stella.
“Is this true,Stella?’Nothing more’?’Just friends’?”he asked,suspiciously.She nodded.
“I swear it Headmaster.Nothing more.”she said shyly.The room went silent for a moment.Dumbledore glanced out his window,pondering.He did not know what to believe.You trust them,do you not?a voice asked him inside his head.Of course.But this is Severus and Stella.Severus has just lost someone very dear to him.Pain like that does not go away soon he answered himself.Yes but Stella,she is young,beautiful,fierce.She would suit him well.the other voice pointed out.Whatever is happening,let them get on with it.Their private lives should remain hidden.All you can really do is try to stop the rumours.Dumbledore was deep in thought.Finally,he said;
I haven’t the faintest idea what happens behind close doors between you two and I don’t really want to. If there is something going on,fine.But all I gurantee you is that I will try and stop the rumours.”
Snape looked relieved,but Stella was slightly confused.
“Thank you,Headmaster.”he said.”Thank you.We shall go now.”He turned on his heel,opening the door for Stella.She didn’t move for a minute before she realised she was meant to be leaving.They made their way out of the office and off the seventh floor until they found themselves on a noisy corridor.No one had noticed,luckily.Stella had hardly noticed them either.
“Does he really believe us?How can you be sure?”she asked,loudly over all the chattering.
“I must trust him.If I did not,I would be dead.”Snape shrugged.She still wasn’t convinced.
“But how can you be sure?Is there not another way of proving ourselves?”He thought about it for a minute.He looked around at all the students.At least half the school had to be there.I wonder.
“Maybe there is.”he said quietly.
Without a second thought,and such a completely idiotic thing he did,Snape grabbed Stella and kissed her.Her mind practically exploded.What the hell is he doing?Everyone had stopped talking.They were all gawping at the two.Stella tried her hardest to fight him off,but she couldn’t do it.
“Seveus!Stella!My Office!Now!”came an angry voice from the crowd.Snape let go of Stella and they both turned towards a furious Dumbledore.
Liked it?:D Hated it?:grumble: I have feedback!:p
July 30th, 2006, 7:10 pm
The Unexpected Unfolds.
Everyone was looking at Dumbledore.He was furious.There was silence through out the corridor but Stella could hear her heart pounding violently against her chest.She felt faint and was trying her hardest to keep her balance.It felt as though she had been tossed back and forth and her head was spinning.She stumbled and felt herself fall against someone.She looked up and noticed who it was.Snape.Stella scrambled off her feet and stood up,shaking slightly.You?You!You.....you liar!she thought.She looked away from him and instead,accidently at Dumbledore.His eyes were alight with fury.It looked as though he was about to explode.But he didn't.Slowly,he broke eye contact with her and turned on his heel,setting off for his office.Stella knew she had to follow,so very carefully,she avoided eye contact with anyone and blocked out the noise from her ears as the whispering begun again.When she was out of sight,she began to walk faster as she could hear footsteps behind her and she knew for certain whose they were.Snape didn't try to talk to Stella or stop her from walking.He knew how angry and upset she was feeling at him.If only she understood.But deep down,Snape knew that wasn't possible and that he would have a long and difficult explanation ahead of him.He tried to plan everything out his mind but his brain throbbed under the pressure he had put himself and Stella under.It seemed like hours,but he approached Dumbledore's office and climbed up the moving staircase to admit himself.The door banged shut after him.He stood as far away as Stella as possible,not bearing to even risk glancing at the blue eyes that he had betrayed.Dumbledore stood behind his desk and look at one to the other.He shook his head.
"Approximitly,five minutes ago you were both in here convincing me that there was nothing going on between you two.And then I come out of my office into a packed corridor of students watching you two kiss.What happend?"he asked.His anger had seemed to melt away.Love had always been such a sensitive subject to him and he was not one to stand in the way,but he had to control his school,even if he had to throw in a few rules.Important rules.Neither Stella or Snape responded to Dumbledore.Stella had postioned herself in a corner nearest the window looking over the grounds.Snape dared himself to look at her.He glanced at her out of the corner of his eye and in that split second,he knew she was close to tears.What have I done?he thought.I cannot do this again.I cannot ruin someone else's life.
"It was me,Headmaster."Dumbledore quickly looked at Snape.He raised his eyebrows.
He didn't know what to say next.The truthsomething told him.Lie.No one gets hurt.Just lie.He listened to both choices intently and made his descion.
"Because......"He quickly looked at Stella,who he could see not staring directly at him but still listening anyway.
"Because.....because Stella did not know the way I felt about her."he said softly.Dumbledore was staring at him with suprise.
"And how is this that you feel,Severus?"he asked,quietly.
"Have I not been clear enough?"he asked,nearly falsly laughing.Now he could even bear to even be in the same presence as her.He didn't even have to look at her to know that she had begun to cry.Dumbledore noticed her tears but said nothing.Stella felt her tears fall from her cheek and onto her robes,making them damp.But she did not care.She felt sickened with herself.What have you been doing to him?She felt careless of not even knowing or even suspecting that he might have felt something.It hadn't even occured to her it was lie.
"Obviously not."Dumbledore said calmly,he gently indicated to Stella,who continued to cry,silently.Snape forced himself to look at Stella.He felt his knees nearly buckle as he looked at her.He had been wrong.Now look what you've done!a voice shouted at him in his head.He was speechless.Dumbledore knew that the moment was difficult and he treaded carefully.
"Perhaps,you both should stay away from each other for a while."he said softly."Just so you can get your head's straight.I'll go and try and settle the...gossip."He walked round from his desk and opened the door open.Neither of them moved for a minute and then Stella wiped away her tears and quickly walked out of the door,heading back to her office.Snape felt strain on his brain and closed his eyes in the bid that the pain might disappear.But it didn't.
He opened his eyes and could see Dumbledore's twinkling blue one's looking at him.Slowly,he exited the office.He did not know where to go.Half of him wanted to go straight to Stella and apollogise for all he had put her through.But the other half wanted to leave her be and let him go rest his own head.Before he knew it,he was outside his office door.He looked around him but he couldn't see anyone.Darkness was all he saw.He closed his eyes again,his head still throbbing.Stupidly,he banged it against the door and made it even worse.He opened his eyes and the door.He made his way for his bed,wanting to dream away the whole ordeal,but he knew that just wasn't possible and that he'd have to face up to the truth and what he had done.
It must have been about three in the morning when Snape woke up.His head still pounded but not as it had done.He was no longer as exhausted as he had been and now,for some reason unknown,he felt it was the perfect time to go and tell Stella the truth.Everytime,it seemed,when they had met,alone,it had been at night,in the dark.It was a totally diffirent thing altogether,but he managed to clamber out of bed and into the pitch black dungeons corridor.Slowly,he made his way up to the Entrance Hall,being as quiet as he could be.What will I say?he thought.The truth.The truth was difficult and ugly,but he had to do it.He was outside her office door before he knew it and wondered where the journey had gone.It was only just lighter outside her office door than it had been down in the dungeons.I wonder if she's awake.Something told him she wasn't.How could she be?He put his fist up to the door to knock,but stopped himself.She would not answer!Not to me!Not to anyone!It was true.She wouldn't.It would be rude,he knew it would,but Snape put his hand on the door handle and opened the door into her office.It was still dark in there and he made his way silently across the office.She wasn't there so now he could only pressume that she had to tried to sleep.Don't you think it a bit rude to walk in on someone while they are sleeping?He ignored himself and opened the next door into Stella's bedroom.Just like he had thought,she was in bed,but she wasn't asleep.As soon as she saw him enter,Stella leapt up from her bed,fully clothed,her wand positioned in one hand,pointing directly at his chest.
"What do you want?"she whispered.Snape could see her shadow through the darkness and knew only too well she was armed.He took his time and lit a few candles to brighten up the room.Stella watched him closely.Anger was building up inside her.In her eyes,he wore a smug look upon his face.He stopped lighting the candles with his wand and turned back towards Stella,answering her question.
"I came to apologise."he said,quietly.She said nothing and continued to glare at him.Her wand lowered slightly.She felt herself shake a bit and knew she couldn't let him see her being 'weak'.
"And what have you to apologise for?"she asked,her voice breaking.It was such a stupid question but it was such a stupid moment,it seemed.Snape carefully took a step forward.
"For all the confusion I have put you through."he said,softly,taking another step forward.Stella could not control herself and began to shake.Her eyes became watery and she fought her hardest to keep them back.Snape could see her getting herself into a state.And he knew it was his fault.He took another step forward towards her but this time she reacted.Stella turned her back to him and sat on her bed.Silently,she let herself cry.No one spoke for a while.The silence was long and uncomfortable.Stella was thinking over how much she had been put through and how much she was hurting.But somehow,she found herself thinking about how Snape was feeling.And she had to feel for his well being as well.
"You hurt me."she whispered.Snape looked at the floor in guilt even though he knew she couldn't see him.
"I know."he said quietly."I really am sorry.But I guess it's too late now."He looked up at her back and knew that she must have stopped crying.
"Why did you do it?"Stella asked,bravely."Why did you confuse me like that?"Snape didn't know what to say,but he was glad she had stopped crying.
Slowly,he approached the bed and sat down beside her.
"I don't know.At the time,I guess I was trying to protect you.But now,I don't know what I was doing."he said quietly.Stella closed her eyes for a minute,preparing herself.She opened them again and turned towards Snape.It felt like she was in agony to do it but she had to ask.
"Do you love me?"she whispered.She felt her head shatter and she felt dizzy.Snape was clueless as what to say.No!You don't love her!Of course you don't!He looked straight into those blue eyes and felt himself collapse.
Stella looked away from him,her eyes beginning to brim with tears.She put her hand over her mouth to muffle her sobs.It can't be.Snape's mind became clearer and the throbbing disappeared.Now did he realise how his answer has sounded.
"No,Stella!"he said,but she wasn't listening.He took her arm and made her face him.She was still crying but she could not divert her eyes away from his.At that moment,they were full of warmth.They were all she could focus on.Snape forced himself to tell her the truth before anything happend.
"I love you.....as a friend."he said with great force.She believed him.
"I know."she whispered.They sat on the bed in silence for a minute.There was still something pressing on Stella's mind.
"What happen's now?"she asked.Snape shook his head.
"I don't know.But whatever happens will just have to wait for tomorrow."
Like?:D Hate?:no: Let me know!
July 31st, 2006, 11:34 am
Thinking Things Over.
Snape went back to bed after he had had his little chat with Stella.He felt weary and a tad bit confused,but he had to sleep.No matter how much he had landed himself in,he had to sleep.So he rest his head on his pillow and instantly fell into a dream like no other.
He was in his living room and there was a mighty fire burning in the grate.It crackled violently and spat out sparks every now and then.He gazed into the fire in a comforting way,lost in his thoughts.The fire did something unusual and spat out a flame in the shape of a woman.Snape watched the flame with awe.It travelled along to sit by him on his settee,but it did not burn the material.The flame began to die out,but as it went away,the woman became real.
"Lily!"he whispered,outstanded.Lily sat beside him on his settee.Her eyes were closed.She took his hand in her's and he began to caress it softly.She smiled at him.Snape felt a rush of warmth come over him but there was only one thing of Lily's that he loved the most.
"Open your eyes,Lily.Let me see those beautiful eyes of yours."he said softly.She turned away from him for a moment and let go of his hand.
She shook her head and something extraordainary happend.Her hair started to change a different colour.It went from dark red to brown.The length changed and so did the thickness.Her shoulders became less broad and her head started to change shape.Snape gasped in terror.
He had no idea what was happening to her and he wanted to help,but he was clueless as what to do.He sat there,watching her transform.
"Lily?"he whispered,in a scared voice.Now she had shoulder-length,brown hair.She was smaller than she had been and her shoulders were boney.She turned back towards him and her looks had disappeared.No longer did she have the same nose or mouth.Gone was her small chin.And when she opened her eyes,gone were the emerald one's he had adored.Snape was star-struck.She had turned into Stella!Her eyes were now the dazzling blue eyes that Stella's were.They were watery as Stella's had been only hours ago.He knew not what to do or say.He continued to stare at her in awe.Lily shook her head and a tear fell from her eye.Slowly,she began to evaporate into blue smoke before she disappeared.
Snape woke up,panting.His mind was a blur.He was totally confused.He looked around himself as though expecting to see the blue smoke Lily had turned into,but he saw nothing.He rubbed his forehead and closed his eyes,utterly bewildered.The dream flashed across his mind and he open his eyes again,quickly.What the hell was that all about?He got up out of bed and blinked hard.He was utterly bewildered by what he had seen and knew it must mean something.He tried hard to think back to his last conversation with Stella,pinpointing every detail.She had been crying,obviously.Her hair was a mess.She was shaking.But none of this details could he calculate back to his dream,apart from her tears.He had seen both Lily and Stella cry and mistook that for something they had in common.What did I say to her?What did I tell her?He snorted at himself.And then was somewhat shocked with himself.I told her I loved her.He pondered for a while.Nothing added up at all.In interuption,his stomach rumbled violently.Snape groaned.As soon as I walk into the Great Hall....But he was starving and maybe if he could just see Stella again,his obsurded dream might add up.Would she eat in the Great Hall?It was farfetched that she would,but he had to see.He left through his office and up into the Entrance Hall.It was very quiet.There was no usual chatting that could be heard coming from behind the doors.There was no one around.Is there anybody even in there?There was only way to find out.He took a few more steps towards the doors and opened them.The Great Hall was full of students,but none of them noticed Snape enter.They were too interested in their breakfasts.Snape was confused,but one look at Dumbledore and he knew why there was silence.He looked stern and his blue eyes looked pierecing.True to his word,he had stopped the gossip.Snape looked across from Dumbledore and saw Stella sitting on his right.He smiled.She did not notice him and continued to munch her toast.He made his way up to the Staff Table and unnoticed by the eyes that gently followed him.He sat down next to Stella who looked briefly at him.
"Good morning."he said quietly.She looked around to see as if though anyone was watching her before she replied.
"Sleep well?"she asked,even quieter than he had as Dumbledore had just seen her talking to Snape through the corner of his eye.Snape thought best how to reply.
"I'll tell you about it later."he mumbled.
"About what?"Stella asked,nearly talking to loudly.One or two heads turned,but thought nothing of it.He sighed.
"Last night,I had quite a disturbing dream.And I think it means something."
"Like what?"she asked,confused.
"Like what this mess is all about."he replied,simply.
"How do you know you can trust your instincts?"He shrugged.
"I have a feeling."Stella looked at him as though she was seeing him for the first time.She didn't speak for a moment,doing some quick thinking.
"Which periods do you have free?"she asked,not trying to keep the curosity out of her voice.He shook his head,thinking.
"Fourth and Second,I think.Why?"
"Great.Meet me at the edge of the lake at second period."she said,quickly.Snape looked puzzled.
"Because it is a beautiful day and the air is fresh."She popped the last piece of toast into her mouth and got up from the table.He watched her leave the hall.His stomach jerked again and he remembered he was hungry.He pulled a plate of bacon towards him and began to pile it onto his own plate.
First Period quite quickly.There was only the hiss of the cauldron simmering in Snape's class.No one was talking and no one really made eye contact with anyone else.He was generally pleased with this.If the lesson could go quickly and smoothly then he would be able to meet Stella straight after.Every now and then he would look up from his work and watch the students try not to make a mess when their potion went wrong.It was quite amusing,but Snape had learnt to conceal his laughter a long time ago.He looked away from them and to the clock.Only half an hour left.He gave up on his marking and got up from his desk.He began to walk around the cauldrons,looking down into them as he went.None of the potions were the light shade of green that should have been and hardly any of them were even close.The students still remained silent as he swooped around them,but stiffled glances at each other behind his back.Eventually,he came to the worst potion of them all.A big,blonde haired Hufflepuff sat behind it,trying to waft away the foul purple fumes that smelt strongly of petrol.
"How many pinches of Graphorn horn did you put in,Stammers?"he asked the frightened Hufflepuff,meanly.He didn't speak for a minute,far too nervous to reply.
"I..I don't know,sir."he stuttered.Snape peered into the cauldron and his nose turned upwards.
"Precisely,as I thought.I told you percificly that only two pinches,that's a quarter of an ounce per pinch,not eight pinches,equalling to two ounces of Graphorn horn!Do you not know how to read?"he sneered.Stammers was confused and he showed it.Snape smiled.
"Obviously,you need to follow set instructions."He left Stammers to wallow in his confusion.The next fifteen minutes passed quickly and the students left class in a hurry.Snape left casually after them and out into the grounds.Down at the lake,he could see a faint figure.He knew at once it was Stella and began to walk down towards her.Getting closer,she became clearer and she smiled and waved at him.He returned the wave half heartedly.
"How are you?"she asked,once he was stood right in front of her.Snape sighed.
"Fine,I guess."She stopped smiling.
"Are you sure?I mean,you seemed a little flustered this morning.Didn't you say you had some sort of dream?"Stella asked,showing she didn't believe his answer.He didn't say anything and sortof tossed his in head in agreement.Stella smiled.
"Come on.Let's walk and you can tell me all about it."She began to set off and Snape began to walk beside her.He told her the story of his dream and she listened hard.After he stopped talking,she didn't say anything for a minute,still thinking.Suddenly,she stopped.
"What?What is it?"Snape asked.Stella said nothing.She listened to the wind whistling through the wind for a few minutes.
"Do you think it might have something to with how you felt about Lily?Do you think there's something about me that reminds you of her?"she asked,interested.She was slightly confused but was determined to get to the bottom of this.Now Snape was confused.
"I don't know.You are very diffirent to her."he shrugged.
"Think feelings wise."she said,trying to be helpful.Snape delphed deep into thought about Lily and Stella and kept comparing the two.He found one,uncomfortable answer,which he wasn't too sure telling Stella about.
"Well,I told you both I loved you."he mumbled,trying to been unheared,but she caught his words,unembarrassed.
"Maybe that's your answer.Maybe at that point you told me how you felt,you thought I was Lily or something."she said,quickly,the idea sticking in her head.He thought about this for a moment and tried to imagine how this was possible.
"It could be true,but it seems so complicated."he said,shaking his head.
"Think about it.At the time we were both confused,a little angry and upset.Anything was virtually possible."she said,convincing herself this."Have you any proof this isn't the answer?"
"Have you any proof that it is?"Snape said,suddenly turning on her.If he had expected her to crack,he was bitterly disappointed.She laughed at him.
"Your dream.It might not count as much but then again,we have the way you felt towards Lily,to me and maybe even to yourself."
"I hardly see how my feelings towards myself come into this."he snorted,without knowing it.Stella smiled at him.
"Your part in this is just as big as mine,if not bigger.Think it over,Severus.You might conclude something diffirent,but keep in my mind what I said.I have a gut feeling it's the truth."she said softly.She turned away from him and begun to make her way back up to the castle.Snape watched her go,already thinking the theorie over,and already half heartedly believeing it could have been the truth.
Like?Hate?I have feedback!Comments,insults,improvements,etc. go there!
August 3rd, 2006, 5:31 pm
A Fresh Start.
Snape went back to teach his lessons,but could not concentrate.He kept losing track of what he was saying and was trying his utmost hardest not to show he kept mucking up.It was what Stella had said that had stuck in his mind.Dinner Time came and he was glad of it.He had his chance to speak to Stella again.This time,when Snape walked into the Great Hall it was little more lively.The students were chatting and laughing and were taking no notice towards Snape or Stella.
"I think were history!"Stella said,delighted."This is great."
"Yeah,great."Snape mumbled,not paying attention.His fiddled with his mashed potatoe and finally put down his fork.
"What?What's the matter?"she said,concerned.He sighed.
"Nothing really.I've..er....I've been thinking about what you said.About you and Lily and how I felt."Stella stared at him,but Snape was gazing down at his plate.
"Does it make more sense now?"she asked,gently.He looked up from his plate and tilted his head.
"I suppose."he said softly."It's still confusing though."
"Maybe."Stella sighed."But that's the problem with magic.It's confusing."Snape gave a small smile.She laughed.
"Even in hard and difficult times there is something to make someosmile."He slowly stopped smiling.
"This is not a joke.I loved Lily.I loved her dearly."he said,some annoyance in his voice.Stella looked at him startled.
"So...you do not love me?"she asked,quietly,her voice breaking slightly.Snape thought carefully about what he would say next.If I tell her no,I'll hurt he feelings.If I tell her I love her than I'll confuse myself and her even more.
"I do love you."he said quietly,keeping his voice low."But my love for Lily was entirely different.You must understand this."She rubbed her eyes and smiled.
"Sorry."she appologised."I was being....selfish."
"It is not your fault.All day I have been saying the wrong thing and making things worst."he mumbled.Stella realised how silly she was being and stopped herself.
"No.No.Just forget it.Forget it all.I don't know what your stupid dream means and to be honest with you,I don't really care.It's probablly nothing."she said getting irritated.Snape looked at her puzzled.
"But what you said made sense.You figured out the truth."he said softly,but showing some of his confusion in his voice.She waved away his argument with the pathetic flick of her hand.
"How do you know it's the truth?It was just something I thought of first that I decided sounded good."she said,yawning.Snape grabbed her arm,gently to get her attention.
"It made perfect sense.And it's correct."
"But how do you know?"
"I just do."he shrugged."It is an instinct and I trust this perticular one."Stella smiled at him.
"You trust me enough to believe what I say?"she asked,nearly laughing.
"Of course I trust you.And why should I not believe what you say?What you say is helpful.I thank you for it."he said,simply.
"Sorry."she said again."I'm just being such a pain."
"Forget it.I think we can just leave the whole thing behind now.Make a fresh start."Stella stared at him for a minute and then nodded.
"Yep.A fresh start."she smiled.But little did Snape know just how much to heart Stella was starting to take the words.
I have feedback for this quite a short chapter!Comments and stuff can go there.:D
August 18th, 2006, 5:13 pm
Just a little bit of an introduction.
Stella had made her mind up.She was going to leave Hogwarts behind and go out and do what she had wanted to do after she had left Hogwarts.She had always adored the Dark Arts and always got a rush of excitement when she would learn something new about them.She had given herself the idea that she could give others the feeling by learning them,but there was no buzz or rush of joy.Her students were idle.They didn't listen,some of them still had the shiftiness behind them that they had had when they heard those rumours.She was fed up.So she would go and get out there.She would explore even deeper and darker into the Arts as it was like an addiction to her,and she had to know more!But everytime she thought about how much she liked the Dark Arts,she was reminded of Snape.She felt happiest at Hogwarts when she was him,but the rest of the time,she felt quite miserable and bored.But what am I going to do?She had to think it through but she knew she couldn't come to her descion without his opinion.Stella sighed to herself.She left her Office and began walking down to the dungeons,when someone said her name;
"Ah,Stella,can I have a word,please?"
She turned around to Dumbledore smiling at her.He had the familiar twinkle in his eye that she had not seen for a while.
"Well actually,Headmaster,I was just going down to the dungeons to see...."
"Please,Stella.It will only take a minute."he said,interupting her.She considered him for a minute and then agreed.
"Yes,yes.Alright."she said,trying to take her mind of Snape.Dumbledore smiled at her began to climb the Marble Staircase to his Office.Stella followed him until they came to the seventh floor.
"Sherbet Lemon."he told the stone gargoyles outside his Office.They leapt aside to admit him to a staircase that led up to a wooden door.He opened it for her and she gave him a small word of thanks.Stella sat down opposite Dumbledore's desk as he sat down.He did not speak for a minute,still smiling.
"Well,Stella,the school year is due to end in a few months time and you will be free to go home for the summer."Dumbledore said cheerfully."No doubt there will be someone waiting for you at home?"
She shook her head.
"No,not really.I lived by myself in a small house on the outerskirts of London for a few months,before you asked me to teach at Hogwarts."
He looked mildy suprised but didn't say anything.She looked at him,suspiciously.
"No reason."he said,acting casual."But,ah,there is someone here to suprise you."
But suddenly,everything had gone dark.
"Suprise."someone whispered in her ear.The darkness vanished and Stella swirled round in her chair.
"Bartelby?"she gasped."What the hell are you doing here?"
Bartelby was a tall man with handsome features and a big,dimpled chin.He had dark brown hair and piercing blue eyes that were full of happiness.
"I came to suprise you!"he said,merrily.She said nothing for a minute,still staring at him.
"But...all those months ago....I lef.."
"Stella,I've changed,I really have.Please,just give me one more chance."
Bartelby got down on his knees and looked Stella straight in the eye.She didn't know what to say to him.This is the man you left eight months ago.This is the man with the violent temper and the paranoiya.Why would you want him back?she asked herself this and soon after,a new and totally different voice answered her.He's changed.He loves you and you still love him.Stella carried on staring into those puppy dog eyes,still not knowing what to say.
"Please,Stell.Just one more chance."he whispered,taking her hand in his.
A sudden warmth came over her as he stroked her hand.When she had been miserable,he had cheered her up.He had always been there for her and she really did love him.She gave him a watery smile and nodded.
"Thank you."he whispered."I promise,I've changed."
He let go of her and turned to Dumbledore.
"There was hardly anything of my part.And Bartelby,you are welcome to stay here at Hogwarts with Stella,as long as there is no funny buisness."He winked at Stella.It was though someone had slapped her in the face.Severus!she thought again,louder than before.His face swam in front of her mind.She knew immediantly that Snape would not like Bartelby.They were similar in a few ways,but it is know that opposites attract,not the other way round.He tightened his grip on her hand.Stella looked at him.He was smiling at her and she smiled back at him.I hope I can find Severus before he meets Bartelby.[/IShe hadn't told Snape about him because she was positive that they were through.Only now did she realise that she had made a stupid mistake by not telling him.[I]And what if he finds out about those rumours?She panicked slightly and didn't even realise that she had begun to start walking.
"I promise you,Stella,you won't regret taking me back."he said once more.She smiled at him again.She stopped panicking.
They began to walk down the corridor,and set off for the Marble Staircase.
"So,where do we live?"he asked,cheerfully.
"Oh."said Stella."Well,were a few floors...."
She stopped talking.She spotted Snape coming up the stairs.He stopped walking as soon as he saw Stella and Bartelby,an expression of mild shock on his face.Bartelby looked from Stella,who was biting her lip,to Snape who was staring straight at him.
"Ah,one of your collegues,no doubt,Stella?"Bartelby said.He let go of Stella's hand and held his hand out to Snape.He was a few steps above him and he towered over him by about three inches,but he was still smiling.Snape took his hand and Bartelby shook his hand vigoursley.
"Bartelby Webster."he said,brightly."I believe you know my wife,Stella?"
Snape raised an eyebrow and glanced at Stella who was hiding behind Bartelby.He let go off his hand.
"Really?"he said,softly,hiding his shock.Husband?The word kept repeating in his brain and he could not get it out.She never told me she had a husband!He was very annoyed.Bartelby nodded at him and got his attention back.
"Yes,that's right."he said,still happliy, though frowning slightly.He wondered why she had not told him who he was,but let it slip his mind.He gave Snape a long and hard look.I recognise him.He had seen him somewhere before,but where?He let the thought slip through his head and smiled again.
"Well,ah,I'll see you around."
He held out his hand for Stella who took it.She gave Snape a look that said 'sorry' behind Bartelby's back and followed after him.
August 22nd, 2006, 7:17 pm
All of three of them went to bed a few hours after their little meeting in the corridor.Snape had chosen not to go to dinner and Stella couldn't help but think it was to do with her.She felt a bit guilty but smiled at Bartelby all the same when he smiled at her and asked her what was the matter.She didn't sleep as well as she would have liked,but caught a few hours even so.She woke up at half past six in the morning and got up out of bed,leaving Bartelby asleep.Now's a good as time as ever to go and see Severus.she thought.He always seemed awake when she had seen him before,so she got dressed and left her Office.She set off down the Marble Staircase and when she was almost half way down,spotted him coming up from the dungeons.He didn't see her and continued walking towards the doors to the Grounds.She quickend her pace and caught up with him.He turned around,finally seeing her.
"Ah,Mrs Webster,sleep well,I hope?"he asked,softly.
"Knock it off,Severus."she mumbled,wiping sleep away from her eye.
"Oh I am sorry.Do you not wish to be addressed by your commited name?"he smirked.Stella glared at him.
"No I do not.Nor do I wish to be addressed with this rude attitude!What is wrong with you?"she snapped,half heartedly already knowing the answer.
"My apollogies,but it was only yesterday that I learnt that you had a husband,something that has never been mentioned to me before."Snape said clenched teeth.She didn't look directly at him as she said;
"It never crossed my mind."
"It never crossed your mind."he repeated."Hmm.I find that hard to believe."
"Well how do I know you have been honest with me?"Stella struck back."How do I know that you do not have a Mrs Severus Snape tucked away at home?"
"Oh yes,Stella.Did I never let it slip that I have a loving wife at home,ready to tend to my every need?"he said sarcastically.He did not look at Stella,hiding the glimmer of his eyes at that moment.She had noticed though.
"Forget it Stella.Just forget it."he said,turning away from her and making his way back down to the dungeons.Stella didn't follow him.She sighed.You don't think that he's not really annoyed at you because you never told him about Bartelby,but more that you've got someone to love you and he doesn't?She thought about it for a minute.She knew for certain that he did have someone to love him.She loved him.I may love him,but not in the way he wants to be loved.That was true.She loved Bartelby in a whole different way to how she loved Snape.She stood in the Entrance Hall,alone for a few minutes before she went back to her Office,back to Bartelby.
Snape threw open his office door and stormed inside.The door closed with a bang.He was annoyed,more at himself than Stella.He felt he could place all the blame onto her but he knew that it was all his fault he was annoyed.Why on earth did you act like that when she asked you if you had a wife?,someone shouted at him in his head.He didn't know why.
"I'm being stupid."he mumbled to himself.He sat down behind his desk and looked at all the parchment that covered it.He groaned.He had to mark each one of the essays his fifth years had given him by tomorrow.He picked them up and took his quill.He tried to concentrate,but his heart wasn't in it.He rubbed his eyes and looked up at the clock.It was barely seven.He closed his eyes for a minute,hoping to fall asleep,but he didn't.He had the memory of meeting Bartelby in the corridor.Stella had been embarrassed at that moment,but he had found it rather amusing.To him,Bartelby seemed one of those men that played the good samaritan often.He hated his smile and how it mocked him.No doubt he helps the needy or some pathetic unreal profession.Yet,somewhere he was sure he had seen that face.He thought about it only for a moment,but then he could not get the thought out of his head.Seeing as though Stella had never mentioned him before at all,she had hardly mentioned what he worked as or anything of the such.Probablly involved in getting people like me locked up in Azkaban,he joked,but he did not really find it funny at all.He lingered over the thought a little longer before sparing himself even more annoyiness.
Get over it!,a sharp voice sounded in his ear.He was shocked at where the voice had come from at first,but knew it made perfect sense.
"Perhaps you're right."he said,talking to himself.He played with the quill in his fingers for a moment before getting down to his marking.
It was almost midday before Snape stopped marking.He finished the last essay marking a quick 'D' on the parchment before leaving his Office and heading up to the Great Hall.He entered the Hall with great enthusiasm and strode up to the Staff Table like his usual self.He sat down beside Dumbledore and begun to pile the nearest morsel of food onto his plate.It was not until he reached out for a chicken leg that he noticed Stella and Bartelby beside him.He ignored them and happily took a chicken leg from the plate nearest Bartelby's right arm.Stella looked over her husband for half a glance at Snape and then acted as though she too was admiring the chicken leg.She reached out to grab one,but Bartelby picked up the plate for her.
"Here,let me."he said,politely putting one onto her plate.She smiled at him in thanks and it was at this minute that Snape almost dared himself to look at her.He saw her only out of the corner of his eye,mostly out of curiousty.She was still smiling and looked away from him and Bartelby.Bartelby carried on staring at her,smiling to himself.Do something nice for her,he told himself.Show her how much you love her.He leant in a little closer towards Stella and said quietly;
"I was thinking about going to go to Diagon Alley after lunch.I would be honoured if you would join me."
She considered him for a minute and somehow her thoughts went from him to Snape.You still have a bit of explaining to do to him and it's best to do so when Bartelby's not around.
"Erm,I don't feel very much like going out today.I've got a few pieces of work to mark so I just wanna go to my Office and get them done.I'm sorry."she said,appologetically.
"Oh,it doesn't matter."he smiled,shrugging it off,though actually he was rather disappointed.He abandoned the rest of his stew and got up.He pecked Stella on the cheek and left the Great Hall,going out into the grounds.She watched him go and then checked around her before she made her next move.Slowly and gently,she stroked Snape's hand.He looked straight at her,unable to ignore her.
"I think I need to explain."she said quietly.He said nothing."Meet me outside when you've finished your lunch."
Still he said nothing as she got up and left the Great Hall.He did not watch her leave and turned his attention back towards his dinner.He did not feel very hungry anymore.He prodded his mash potato with his fork before he put it down and got up from behind the table.He left after her and stepped through the doors into the ground.
It was quite a pleasant day.There was a nice cool breeze running through the air and added a nice effect to the day.Snape began to walk far from the castle and came in view of the lake and forest.He could see no one there waiting for him so turned towards his right and began to walk near the trees on the bank of the lake.In the distance,he could see a faint figure that he assumed with Stella.As he got closer he recognised that it was her.She had her back to him but turned around at the moment,hearing footsteps.She smiled at him,but he didn't smile back.He didn't feel much like smiling.
"Er...I do need to explain,Severus,I do.And I intend to.But I'm really not sure to start."she sighed.Why don't you start by explaining why you never mentioned you had a husband before!,he thought to himself very annoyed,even though he was trying to keep calm.
"I think I need to explain first why I never told you about Bartelby."she said,almost as though she had read his mind.Stella didn't say anything for a minute,thinking best how to explain the situation.
"I left Bartelby eight months ago.Everything I did for him,I felt just wasn't good enough.He didn't seem really bothered if I was there or not and it made me mad.So I left him.Only now do I realise the mistake I made then.But now I have him back and I'm glad I do.Because I still love him."
Snape didn't say anything.He was thinking,and accepting the fact now Stella was married.It no longer seemed such a big deal to him.So what?He won't get in the way of our friendship,I won't let him,he thought,a little too loudly.At that moment,Stella was the only person who cared for him as much as he cared for her.He hid his smile.
"Severus?"she said,quietly.He looked at her and his face remained expressionless.
"You know I love you,don't you?"she asked,not really knowing if it was the right thing to say.She hesitated a bit.He nodded.
"I know."he said,quietly.Stella smiled.
"I am sorry I didn't mention Bartelby,Severus,but I promise,I won't keep anything from you."she said softly.He shook his head.
"I am the one who should be sorry,Stella.I acted mostly rudely and I should not have.I mean,who cares if you have a husband?It's not like there's anything going on between us or anything."he smiled.She smiled back at him.She moved closer to him and hugged him.He was slightly taken back but did not mind.He hugged her back.
But at that moment,it seemed the wrong time for Bartelby to come back from Diagon Alley.He got nearer to the lake and on the high hill he could see two figures.....!His heart dropped.Immediantly,he recognised the greasy black hair and the thick brown hair.From where he stood,it looked as if they were....he couldn't even really think it,but there it was,in his head.He had dropped in to the Leaky Cauldron for a quick firewhisky when he had heard two witches discussing his wife in the corner.He listened intently until he had learnt the truth.He hadn't really believed,but all the same came back early to Hogwarts to confront her.But now he didn't need to know it from her mouth.He could see it right before him.Now for sure he was certain that there was something going on between his wife and that Death Eater,Severus Snape.
September 11th, 2006, 6:07 pm
Stella let go of Snape and smiled at him.She then turned and started to head back up to the castle.Snape didn't move for a moment and felt as though someone was watching him.He shrugged the feeling off and followed Stella.
Bartelby didn't move until he saw Snape was out of sight.Now what?,he panicked.His feet were stuck firmly to the ground and couldn't move.He wanted to follow them up to the castle but he couldn't find it in himself to go and confront Stella just yet.With great difficulty,he turned around so that he had his back to the castle and started to move his feet towards the gate and out of the grounds.
As he headed down to Hogsmeade,thoughts ran through his head.This can't be happening,he told himself over and over.He loved Stella dearly and he knew that she loved him too.He couldn't blame her.She meant everything to him.He thought hard about the reasons why she would be as upset with him to go behind his back,but there were few.He knew in the past he hadn't been the best husband and had been occupied with his work a lot of the time,but she had always told him that she respected that and he believed her.She wouldn't lie to me,he thought,not as convincing as would have hoped.True she did not tell her collegues about me but I suppose she thought we were through.The thought was quite terrible to him.Bartelby never wanted to part from Stella.He knew he had pushed her away and ignored her too much but he had been extremely busy at the recent time.He shook his head and took pity on himself.You always had to put your work first,didn't you?He was one of those husbands that never came home when they should have and stayed at work until late and got up very early to go in early.He regretted that now.They hadn't even managed to get a lot of information in You-Know-Who down at the Ministry,let at least of caught him!That's what Bartelby had worked as.He worked with the Aurors.The man that pulled all the strings trying to find out where Death Eateras were hiding at what they were plotting.He had never caught a Death Eater.He had come close to finding a bunch of them,but someone had got word to them to move on.He had been fuming.And then he had gone home early,annoyed and exhausted,expecting to see Stella there,waiting for him with a hot cup of tea and a warm meal.But he hadn't found either.He found a piece of paper telling him what she had done.He had been so angry that he had grabbed the nearest thing he found and smashed it against the wall.Bartelby looked back on all of this and realised where it had all gone wrong.I have to make it right,he thought wisely,but he had no courage.
He did not wish to return to the castle anytime soon.He was in Hogsmeade before he knew it and craved a Firewhisky to boost up his confidence.He kept to the right,ready to step into The Three Broomsticks when he stopped.He could see from where he stood that the pub was packed full of witches and wizards and turned away.He carried on walking until he came to a small tavern right at the end of the road called 'The Hogs Head'.He pushed open the old wooden door and looked around.He saw the dark and grimmy front room and found that there was only one warlock sat near the window,gazing down at his mug of meade as though he wanted nothing more to do than drown himself in it.Bartelby heard the door bang shut behind him with the wind and sat himself down at the bar.The old bartender came out of the back room with hearing the sound of the door banging shut and made his way over to serve Bartelby.
The bartender brought out a dusty bottle from under the bar and held out his hand for his money.Bartelby gave him seven sickles and uncorked the bottle with a flick of his thumb.He wiped the rim of the bottle and then put it to his lips and took a long drink.
While Bartelby had still been Hogsmeade, Snape and Stella had taken their afternoon lessons as usual .Stella tried to concentrate on finishing her essays but got bored and started to doodle on a spare piece of parchment.Snape instructed his fourth year's what to do and read the book Curious Curses And How To Improve Them that Stella had given him,for most of the lesson.He got once for a swift walk around the dungeons and remained his snide self as he picked on Gryffindors and praised Slytherins.
After a good two or three hours,Bartelby finished his fifth Firewhisky and got up from the bar.The bartender watched him as he went and Bartelby stepped out into the daylight.He didn't feel drunk,but somewhat more pleased with himself.He had thought long and hard and now he knew that he could march up to the castle,find Stella and confront her.It's Stella I need to talk to!, he thought boldly.But after he gave it much more thought whilst heading up to the castle,he thought of her reaction.It wasn't preety.Her shocked face wathered in front of his eyes and her voice echoed in his ears say things like;
How could you even acuse me of that? and Don't you trust me?
It was horrific and he imagined the worst.She might not want nothing more to do with me.She might think that I do not love or trust her.He couldn't bear it she decided to leave him again and soon changed his mind about asking her.He was in the grounds not before long,and could see over the lake to the castle.The memory flooded back to him a few hours ago.They were stood there!,he thought,a little over dramatical.Her and Sna....
Bartebly considered it.He had almost forgotten completely that there was a third person involved.And then it hit him.
I'll ask him.I'll make him tell me everything that's going on between him and her.The idea seemed genius.If there was nothing going,Stella need not know that he had suspected her of cheating.He decided it on almost at once and by the time he had managed to get up to the doors to the Entrance Hall,he had planned out everything he was going to say to Snape.He would ask him questions in a calm and reasonable manner and hope that he would do same back.He could hear the sound of students talking from the other side of the door.When he opened it,he could see a swarm of students walking into the Great Hall.He followed them in happily.
It was dinner time now.It did not seem long ago to Bartelby that he had been eating his lunch,but then again,time had gone by too quickly for his liking over the past few hours.He started to make his way up to the Staff Table and sat himself down between Snape and Stella.She smiled at him
"Hello."she said brightly before she pecked him on the cheek."Did you have a nice time in Diagon Alley?"
He didn't answer for a minute,staring at her as though he could see what she was thinking,but he had never master Legimens properly.
"Hmmm?Oh right,well yeah it was fine you know."he said quickly,beginning to pile food onto his plate.He was extremely hungry and didn't hesistate to take anything that took his fancy.
Snape watched him slyly out of the corner of his eye.His nostrils flared as he could smell the scent of alchol on him.He raised his eyebrows and looked away from him.
"What did you do?" Bartelby asked through a mouth full of mashed potato.
Stella smiled at him again.
"Oh,I finished those essays of like I said."she lied.She hadn't finished those essays at all and they were due to be handed back tomorrow.But she just couldn't bring herself to do them.They were so boring that she had found herself,more than once,gazing into space,thinking about what it would be like to be out there,discovering new ways to make antidotes or inventing helpful spells that would make her life less stressful.But she was stuck here at Hogwarts and it bored her to tears.She was staring down at her dinner and was deep in adventure inside her imagination.
Bartelby reached for some more food near Snape and only just really realised he was there.He smiled at him and got his attention.
"So Severus,don't really know a lot about you.You got a family,a wife?"Bartelby asked,trying to be friendly.
Stella looked up from her dinner and snapped out of her imagination.Behind Bartelby's back,she looked at Snape appologetically.He had gotten rather ticked off with her when she had asked him this.Snape ignored her look and didn't answer Bartelby for a minute.He concidered him nosy,but couldn't help but suspect that he was trying to find something out about him.
"No."he replied,coldly."I live alone."
Bartelby's smile got slightly smaller.He felt a little sorry for Snape,but it also accoured to him that if he was having an affair with Stella,then he would hurt no one that he cared for her.He stopped smiling a lost his appetite.He was slightly worried now.It was only a small piece of information but to him it made a big difference between him getting hurt and someone else.He tried to take his mind of it and began to eat the rest of his dinner. Stella gave Snape another appologetical look and Bartelby caught some of it.His heart began to beat a bit faster and he began to shovel more food onto his plate.
Snape layed down his knife and fork,feeling hungry no more and got up from behind the table.He left the Hall without a word. Bartelby kept his head down and chewed his meat with great enthusiam.Stella took another look at her plate and sighed.She stood up and Bartelby stopped eating.
"Where are you going?"he asked,trying to keep the sudden panick out of his voice.
"Well,I've still got a few of those essays to mark."she sighed again.Bartelby opened his mouth to speak and then closed it again.Trust her,something told him.He knew the little voice was right and he resumed his dinner.Stella smiled at him and left the Staff Table and opened the door to the Entrance Hall.
Stella had stepped out into the Entrance Hall when she had heard someone call her name.She looked around and found Snape hiding behind a large statue.
"Severus?What are you doing?"she asked,laughing.He poked his head out from behind the statue and inclined his head to make her come over.She began to walk over to him and he pulled her behind the statue.
"What is it?What's wrong?"she questioned him.
"I believe it is still not safe for us to be talking together."he whispered.
"What?Why are you whispering?There's no one here except...."He put his hand over her mouth to stop her from talking.He had heard the quiet sound of the Great Hall door opening.He knew at once who it was.The person who he was trying to avoid.He kept one hand over Stella's mouth and took her hand in his other,guiding into the nearest empty corridor behind the statue.He listened hard until he could hear only silence.He took his hand from her mouth and let got other her's.
"Severus,what is this?Why are you being so private?"she asked,confused and very annoyed how not only he was behaving,but how Bartelby had been behaving as well.He sushed her and spoke in barely above a whisper.
"I believe beloved Bartelby has heard everything."
She looked at him for a moment,trying to understand what he was talking about.
"You mean.....he wouldn't!Bartelby wouldn't believe those rumours!He trusts me!"she said as though the mere thought of Bartelby not trusting her was impossible.
"He may trust you but I am a totally different matter."he said annoyed."Just watch what you say around him.He doesn't seem the understanding one to me."
Stella smiled and shook her head.
"No,you see he's changed.He's not like that anymore."
She tried to convince him but he didn't buy it.
"Tread carefully."he said very quietly.She gave him a pitiful look.
"I can trust my husband,Severus."she said,proud ebbed in her voice.
"To me marriage is a piece of paper and nothing more."Snape sneered at her.She didn't say anything in return,feeling it best not to.
"We all have our opinions."she replied haughtily after a minute of silence.He felt like laughing at her but withheld his amusement.
"As pointless as this conversation was,it ends now as I wish to finish some marking of mine.Good evening."she said walking by him and down the corridor.
She might think he is unaware,but he knows something.I know he does.
Snape remained by himself in the corridor for a few minutes before he left and made his way back down to the dungeons.
Bartelby saw him as he went and followed him carefully.He kept a good distance behind him and hid amongst the shadows.Once Snape had distended into his office,Bartelby began to plan his next move.
His was forcing himself to remain calm,but he could not deny that what he had just seen,Snape and Stella behind the statue had tested his patience.He took a deep breath and knocked on the Office door.
"Enter."came Snape's voice,lazily.
Bartelby put his hand on the door handle and pushed it open.Snape looked up from his desk and saw him standing there.What do you want?,he thought rather nastily;
"Mr Webster,what brings you?"he said insteadsoftly,trying to act nice.
"I want the truth, Snape.I want to know what's going on."Bartelby said heatedly.I knew it!,he thought to himself.
Snape smiled at him.He felt annoyiness hit him at his eavesdropping on the conversation with Stella.He knew he had been there.He knew he knew the rumours and he also knew what to do to him now.
"Exactly what is going on, Mr. Webster?I'm afraid I do not what you mean."he said playing with the words on the tip of his tongue.He enjoyed the look of fury that Bartelby expressed.
"I want to know what's going on between you and my wife Stella."he hissed.He meant buisness and hated the fact that he was making it seem as a joke.Snape didn't reply for a minute.
"What exactly have you heard?"he said dropping his little act.He was getting serious now.Bartelby shook his head.
"Enough. I know what you've done to my wife and I've come to make sure it stops."
"What have I done to your wife, Mr. Webster?"he asked,slightly shocked at the source of information and trying not to sound it.He shook his head again and took a step away from the door and closer to his desk.
"I'm not playing any games here.I just want the information straight at me."Bartelby whispered.
Snape raised his eyebrows at his form of direction.He hid the little smile that played on his face.
"Fine."he said softly."Ask me anything."
Bartelby stared at him for a moment checking to see if he was still playing with him.
"Have you ever hugged or touched Stella?"he asked,getting straight into his questioning.
Snape couldn't help but smile at his bravery.It really was amusing.
"Yes,I have."he answered simply as though he had asked him if he had read the newspaper today.
Bartelby found himself taking another step forward.
"Did you make her hug you?"he pressed on further.
Make her?,Snape thought.He shook his head.
That's okay,that's okay.Because it's just a hug.It doesn't mean anything. he thought.
There were still millions more questions he wanted to ask him,but he had to pick out the most important one's.
"Have you seen her when she wasn't dressed?"Bartelby asked,a question quite important to him that he would gutted if he knew more of it.But it was still an important question.
Snape had to think for a minute.He was being honest after all.And then he remembered that night by the lake.He could count that just to mess with his mind a little.
"Yes."he replied honestly.
Bartelby turned quite pale and took another small step towards him.He wanted to ask the next question found himself saying something completely different.
"How do I know you're not lying?"
"She has a tatoo,does she not,Mr Webster?On her right shoulder I believe.A mood one that changes colour with emotion."he said smoothly.He watched as Bartelby got slightly paler.He had obviously not expected anything like that.He looked away from Snape,trying to hide the fact that the information had affected him.The whole thing much more serious to him now and he knew that his marriage could be falling apart under his very nose.He had a question burning inside that he did not want to ask in fear of the answer.He forced himself to look back at Snape.He looked straight back into his eyes,prepared for his next question,unaware just how much agony Bartelby was suffering he got the wrong answer.
"Have you ever kissed her?"he said in barely above a whisper.
There was only one more question pressing on Bartelby's mind now.His anger had vanished a while back and he felt vunerable.The next question could be the end of his marriage.It could mean that Stella didn't love him anymore.Snape's words has stuck in him like a knife and from the first question he had asked him knew that he had been telling the truth.The ugly,cold truth.He felt his eyes getting watery and didn't ask his next question for a long time.He closed his eyes and opened them again.He still felt the same.
Snape was hungrily awaiting his next question.He could see it was a matter of the next word that would destroy the man before him.
Bartelby tried to keep calm and sound braver than he felt before he asked his final question.
"Have you kissed her?"
Snape stopped looking smug.He had almost forgotten that Stella had been involved.To him it was more picking fun at Bartelby.He hadn't considered her feelings.He felt rather guilty now.He was unsure on what to say to Bartelby.The truth would wreck her marriage and he wanted nothing more than her to be happy.But he knew that a lie could do even more damage.He made his mind up.
Bartelby lost the rest of the colour from his face and felt his knees buckle.That was all he needed to know.
October 15th, 2006, 12:49 pm
Bartelby couldn't look at Snape.He felt like he was about to collapse at any minute,but he couldn't stay where he was.He gathered the strength to start to move towards the door.Snape watched him go,feeling slightly sickened with himself.He knew he had done a good thing,but at a high price.Bartelby managed to open the door and he didn't look back.He was unsure what he was about to do.It had been a sudden blow.True,he had suspected Stella to have been having an affair when he first encountered Snape,but he had ignored,and told himself that she wouldn't.But he was uncapable of knowing what his wife was really like.
He was in The Entrance Hall and it seemed that everyone had finished their dinners and gone back to their common rooms.There was no one around.Bartelby was glad of this,even if didn't make a difference really.He couldn't go upstairs,he couldn't face her.It would be torment to hear her tell him the tale.And he couldn't go outside,not when he had seen them both together only a few hours ago.He wanted to crawl back into bed and pretend the whole thing had been a dream,but it was just too realistic.Time seemed to drag as he stood alone.He didn't know where to go.He could of gone out and drunk his sorrows away,but alcohol had never had that effect him,so it was pointless.He gazed into space,gormlessly.He didn't even notice the streak of blue that passed him.
Dumbledore stopped in his tracks.Bartelby was stood in the middle of the Entrance Hall,staring into space.Dumbledore was wise enough to know that something was wrong.
"Are you alright,Bartelby?"he asked softly.
Bartelby snapped out of his trance and looked at Dumbledore.It took him a minute or two to reply;
"Oh,yes,yes,Headmaster,everything is fine."he mumbled.He tried to smile,but failed miserabley.Seeing Dumbledore's hard-to-believe expression he completely gave up on pretending.
"Well,no not actually,Headmaster."
"Would you like to talk about it?"Dumbledore asked him,looking over his half-moon spectacles at him.His blue eyes looked concerned,but they still managed to twinkle in the light.
Bartelby shook his head.
"I shall not drag you into the matter.It is already too hard to cope with anyway."he muttered the last bit,feeling rather bitter.
"Oh come now,Bartelby.It is me that you are talking to.You can confide in me."Dumbledore said,reassuringly.
Bartelby looked at him for a minute,unsure.He didn't want anyone to know at all.He wanted to erase the secret from exsistence and pretend it never happend.But it was Dumbledore.Silent as the grave when needed,Dumbledore!He thought about it for a minute.He tightened his lips as though in full concentration.
"Has this anything to do with Stella,Bartelby?"he asked him a low voice.
He was slightly shocked at how he knew so much when he knew so little himself.He blinked at little longer than needed and nodded.
"Than perhaps,we should discuss it.Please,follow me to my Office."
Dumbledore set off back up the Marble Staircase,his long dark blue robes trailing behind him.Bartelby didn't move for another second.He rubbed his forehead.His brain hurt.And he wanted to sleep.But he would just have to wait.
They arrived at Dumbledore's Office about five minutes later.
"Lemon Drop!"he told his gargoyles,and they immediantly leapt aside.He took lead up the small wooden steps to the door of his Office and then held it open for Bartelby.He nodded and said a small 'thank you' before he moved into the room and sat down.Dumbledore followed after closing the door.
"Now,please do tell me what this is about."he said as he walked past him and sat down himself.Bartelby was unsure on how much to confide in him,but the pressure was building to express himself.
"Me and Stella,we haven't been as happy as we were lately."he confessed,careful not to give too much away.
"You have just got back together after a year apart.I'm sure the wounds of your past are still there."Dumbledore said gently.
"I just don't know what's wrong.She used to tell me everything but now,it seems she keeps marking the same essays over and over again.It like she doesn't have anytime for me anymore."he expressed himself a little more,feeling comfortable.
"Well,she is very busy with all her school work and...."
"I know,I know!"Bartelby interupted him."But I just don't really know where I am with her."
"Do you think she has been lying to you,Bartelby?"he asked quietly.
Bartelby looked straight into those blue eyes of his.The question had been sudden,but he knew the answer quickly.He couldn't find it in him to speak it though.
"Why do you think this?"Dumbledore asked.
He didn't reply for a minute.He was getting quite emotional.He loved Stella so much,and was so hurt by what he had learnt.Half on him refused to believe what he had been told,but the other half just believed.
"I don't think I can make her happy anymore."he said quietly.His voice was breaking slightly,but Bartelby managed to stop himself from crying.
Dumbledore's face was no longer as soft as it had been.It was now rather stern and very much concerned.His eyes were not exactly the same twinkling blue,but slightly darker as though angry.
"Has this got anything to do with Severus?"he asked,very gently.He had put his finger right on it and he knew even before Bartelby could answer.
"Yes."he whispered,feeling ashamed.
It was not his fault,but it felt like it was his fault.It felt like he was the one who had made it all happen.If he had just found the time for Stella and if he hadn't of been so preoccupied with work,than none of this could ever of happend.
Dumbledore was staring at him.He was a man on edge of having a breakdown.He heard the rumours.He heard about the fiasco in the corridor.He heard about the kiss. He didn't really know what to say.He had questioned their relationship,that was true,but each time they had both told him straight that there was nothing of the sort between them.But now he thought about it,Snape had done most of the talking.
"How did you learn this?"he asked,intrigued to know more what he didn't.
"Snape told me."Bartelby said,sounding miffed.
He actually told him!Good god he must have some grudge against this man.
"Why did he tell you?"
Bartelby was taken back a little by all the sudden questions,but if anyone knew what was going on,it was Dumbledore.He took another minute to try and rest his mind.
"Because I asked him."
Dumbledore rose an eyebrow.The news was important.So he must of have heard the rumours.But were they just rumours any more?He did not know.
"I suggest,Bartelby,that you rest yourself before you go and do anything major like confront Stella.Yes,I know that you must be dying to know what she has to say on the matter,but do take some time.It is your marriage after all."he said softly,counciling him.
Bartelby knew he was right.
He got up from his chair and made his way to the door.He was thinking best how to confront the situation to Stella.She was,after all,the love of his life.And he could not bear to loose her again.
Stella finished marking the rest of her essays and sighed.She felt exhausted and looked up at the clock.It was nearly half past eight.It was not too late,but she hadn't seen Bartelby for a good three hours.I wonder where he's gone?She didn't let it bother her and she got up from her desk.Perhaps a little walk and I might find him.She began to make her way for the door and once out into the corridor,down the Marble Staircase.
Snape was pacing up and down in his office.His mind was everywhere.It all seemed a blur but he had seen it clearer than day!He had said the exact words!So why was he finding it so hard to believe?He had spoke the truth.He had been told that the truth was a good thing,but he felt sickend with himself.He was convinced at any moment he would hear a great up roar above him with Bartelby and Stella having an argument.And that would be all his fault.He was the one who had kissed Stella,she really did not have a choice.But it was for many different reasons.It was not because he felt so in love with her that he had to do it.Yes,he did love her.He did.But not as it was being made out.Now he wished he could forget it all.He wished he'd had kept his big nose out of her memories of Lily.Curiousity had gotten the past of him and landed him a huge mess.Typical of him!The negativity and putting the blame on himself seemed any easy thing to do.He had done it many times before.
He looked over to the door.He felt banded from leaving the room,just in case that if he did,Stella would be stood there,tears streaming down her face or fury etched as her facial expression.He stopped moving,stuck to the ground.Maybe,if he first told her what he had told Bartelby then she would not be so rash.He thought about it for a moment.He did not want to do anymore harm,but if he kept silent,no good would of come of it.You should of stayed silent in the first place!,he snapped at himself.He shook his head,violently.He tried to clear his mind,with great effort and he slumped down into his chair.
There was a sharp knock on his door.
"Severus!"came Stella's voice from behind the door.He forced himself to get up from his chair and face her.He opened the door.
"Have you seen Bartelby?"she asked,trying not to sound as worried as she actually was.She had looked practically everywhere but had seen no sign of him.She had been as far as Hogsmeade and was concidering going to Diagon Alley.Something nagged inside her that there was something wrong.
Snape didn't reply for a minute.He was trying to work out if she already knew.It seemed that she didn't.
"Not for a while."he answered softly,trying not to recall their last meeting.
"Well,he seems just to have disappeared.I told him I had more essays to mark and he seemed a bit huffy then but I didn't think I'd upset him that much."she said,a little sad.
"What time was this?At dinner?"he had to ask,just to make sure that she really didn't know.
"Yes."she nodded."That was about three hours ago."
Something inside of him was pressing on his chest.He felt he was about splutter and knew that soon he would have to tell her what he had told Bartelby.He listened to her rant on a bit more but he couldn't hear her properly.It was as though the world had been slowed down.But this thing inside him was fast and furious.
"Stella,I have to tell you something."he blurted out.He was shocked that it had come out so vast and now was slightly fearful of her reaction.
"Go ahead.What is it?"she asked,a small smile on her face.Stella was trying to forget about her husband's disappearance and not to worry too much.
"I told Bartelby something."he mumbled."And I don't think I should have."
"Well,what was it?"she asked,wondering with great curiousity if this had anything to do with his absence.
Snape really didn't want to speak.It felt like he had a huge lump in his throat.He found himself staring straight into Stella's wide blue eyes and the task ahead seemed ten times harder.Just do it!,he pressurised himself.
"I....I told him...I told him about what happend.....I told him I kissed you."he said the last sentence in one breath.Stella looked at him blankly for a minute.
"What?"she asked, anger shown in her voice."What do you mean?"
"He asked me if we'd ever kissed and I said yes.But I swear it Stella,I didn't know what I was doing!"he rushed his words,trying to repair what had sounded like he didn't care about her or her marriage.
"What do you mean you didn't know what you were doing?Severus you just told my husband I've been having an affair with you!"she shouted at him,fury blazing inside her.How could he be so stupid!Now she was extremely panickly that Bartelby had left her forever.That he wasn't coming back.
"I didn't exactly tell him we were having an affair!"he said,in a harsh whisper,indicating that she was being too loud."I just answered his questions."
"What questions?What else did he ask you?"she said,being hysterical but at the same time not believing him being so innocent in the whole tale.
"They were his questions and perhaps that might make you think why he doesn't completely trust you,hmmm Stella?"he smirked.The situation had completely turned.
"Just tell me what he asked you!"she snapped,trying to ignore what he said.It had really gotten to her.
"He asked me if I'd ever touched you."
"What?"Stella yelled.She felt her faith in Bartelby vanish.
"Do not be so paranoid.He meant hugwise.And truthily,I answered yes."he said simply.Her reaction was not how he had calculated it,but it still seemed to some standards.But he did not fear for her blame on him,not if he could also drag Bartelby down with him.
"Well,what else did he ask you?"she said quietly,feeling very embarrassed.
Snape thought for a minute.She had reacted very dramatically to his first answer.His second one seemed just as bad.
"He also asked me if I had ever seen you undressed."
Stella was shocked,but tried not to express it.She scratched her face for a minute and did a lot of blinking before she looked back at Snape and said;
"What did you tell him?"
In her mind,it was unclear if he had seen her undressed or not.
"I told him about that evening by the lake.The night you showed me your emotion tattoo."
He seemed relaxed.Too relaxed.It wasn't healthy.Not for the dilemma.Stella was wondering very much if he was enjoying what he was telling her and what he had told Bartelby.She felt disgusted by him.
"And why did you have to tell him that,Severus?Why couldn't you of just lied?"she began to break.She could feel her marriage breaking even more at her feet.That was if it wasn't already completely wrecked,which she was almost certain it was.
Snape couldn't stay in his act of being so relaxed anymore.He had to face cold reality and tell her why he had done it out.Out of pure teasing.
"I just wanted to mess his mind up a little.He was being so confronting that he was too confident.And I was thinking of you.He doesn't trust.He didn't trust you before I told him all this.All I've done really is shown just how much he doesn't trust you.I know you love him,Stella.I know you do,but take another look.Why did you even leave him in the first place?"
He felt strange.He had turned the tale in a different direaction.He had hardly any blame now,but that wasn't the point.It had hit him that Bartelby really didn't trust Stella and now he wanted to know why.
Stella didn't speak for a minute.She was trying to think.She knew exactly why she had left him,but she was tracing for clues about mistrust.Somehow,she found some.
"He was a workaholic.Never came home when he said he would and sometimes I wouldn't have a real conversation with him for days.He wasn't very open.I suppose then I started to not trust him.But I was the good wife.I cooked,cleaned,did everything to make him happy.But he never really was."she said,quietly.She had confused herself slightly,but felt refreshed.She had left him because she didn't trust him.She was convinced that he was the one having an affair at one time.But now that the pattern should be repeated with her this time being the suspected one just didn't make sense.
Snape was staring at her.He didn't know what to say.She seemed lost in her own world.He thought of words of comfort,but couldn't express them.
"Does it hurt,Stella?Is pain beyond pain to know that you are mistrusted?To know that you are not respected or are always being watched closely and talked about?"
Stella looked back into his black eyes.She felt some form of sympathy go out to him.It was how he felt.That no one trusted him.Her situation was not the same.His was worse.
"It hurts,Severus.I have only to gain the trust of one person.And I'm not even sure I want it anymore."
Snape raised his eyebrows.He was shocked.Were there hidden messages behind her words?
"What exactly are you saying?"he said,being very soft as not to force her to make any quick descions.But Stella had made her mind up.
"I don't want to be with him anymore,Severus.He hasn't changed.He's still the same man I left months ago.No.He's not.He's worse.And I won't put up with it any longer."