CoSForums Archive - OotP Script

daniel4hp

September 21st, 2003, 7:23 pm

I have quite a few ideas about Order of the Phoenix, and plan to write a script for it when I have time (and have finished my script for Goblet of Fire). Here's a few ramblings I have...

Main Plot

There are two main plots in this book:
The Order, Voldemort, and Harry's Dreams
Umbridge, the Ministry, and their control of Hogwarts
All other plots need to clearly be subplots. However, even with these two plots, the first is considerably more important than the second. Ultimately, the story boils down to Voldemort's attempt to get Harry so that he can get the Prophecy, and tied to this, the Order's efforts to fight Voldemort. However, the plot involving the Ministry takes up more time in the book. Here we face one of the book's many problems.

The ministry plot needs to be scaled down, and the Voldemort plot played up. People should never be in doubt as to what the real plot is, because if they are, they will be confused. The Ministry plot is important, but it should always clearly be a side plot. This means altering the book's focus, but this has to be done. This is one of the primary reasons that this movie cannot perfectly follow the book -- it needs to be altered if it will work on screen.

The Ministry subplot would be introduced early on in the form of the Dementor Attack. I don't think any effort should be made to conceal the fact that this is related to the Ministry. Then, later on (when Harry reaches Grimauld Place), we would introduce the main plot, making it clear that its the main plot. The Ministry subplot would come back in force when Harry reaches Hogwarts, but it would still clearly be a subplot.

Subplots

As I discussed above, the whole issue with the Ministry and Hogwarts, personified in Umbridge, is a subplot. But it is far from the only subplot this book has. To name several:
Ron and Quidditch
SPEW
Harry and Cho
Snape's Worst Memory
Grawp
The Weasley Twins
So, my point is, there's a lot of "extra" stuff in this book. Some can be kept, most of it can't. I'm only partially thinking about screentime here; what I consider more important is keeping this movie simple and clear, and not distracting from the main plot. We already have a very large side plot in the form of the Ministry, so I think the number of other things that should be in the movie should be pretty small. Here's a few comments...

1. Snape's Worst Memory. I consider this important, both in terms of character development, and in terms of plot. It seems to be an extra in this book, but I think JKR may develop this more in future books. So, I think that if at all possible, this should be kept.

2. Grawp. He serves very little purpose in this book, so I would cut him. If he appears in a later book, he can be cut from those movies to. He should be totally removed from the series. There are other things to deal with than Grawp.

3. SPEW. SPEW should be played down. We would see Hermione knitting hats, and Ron would make some comment so that we know Hermione is still involved in SPEW. When Dobby shows up to talk to Harry at night, he'd be wearing all the hats, but no comment would be made.

4. Ron and Quidditch. There are a couple of ways of dealing with this. Option 1 is to never have Ron join the team. Harry can be kicked off the team very early on in the movie, so there will be no Quidditch in most of the movie. No comment needs to be made about vacancies. The other option would be to have Ron be good at Quidditch from the start. This would take up a bit more time, because Quidditch wouldn't be cut in this version, but either option could be used.

5. The Weasley Twins. This, like SPEW, should be played down. The twins should be portrayed as funny people who have plans to start a joke shop, but not much more. I'm not sure if I would have them leave Hogwarts or not... it could go either way.

6. Harry and Cho. This can be kept, I think. People can handle a romantic subplot, because it is clearly separate from the main plot. People know that a romantic plot isn't going to effect the story, so they can keep it separate in their minds. Providing that there's time to incorporate this (which I think there will be), I see no reason to cut it.

Note: Much more still to come!

Loz

September 21st, 2003, 7:49 pm

Personally I think OotP will and should be more of a mood driven rather than action driven piece. Character and character development are essential here.

The order, Kreacher, the dreams, Harry's emotions and his connection with Voldemort are all essential to OotP and to leave any of this out would be a travesty.

Percy and the Weasley family divide is also a key element in the novel.

Occlumency, Legilimency and Snape's Worst Memory are all extremely important but should not be heightened in any way.

I would love it if Fred and George's roles were explored to their full potential.

One last thing for the moment. The line "S'up Figgy" must be included.

daniel4hp

September 21st, 2003, 8:15 pm

Okay, here's Part 2. This is continued from what I was writing above.

Harry's Emotions

This book is very focused on how Harry is feeling -- much more so than the previous books. Harry is more introverted in OotP, and has some very complex feelings going on. This will require a couple of things, if it is to come across right:
A good actor -- there is no substitute for this. If Radcliffe can do it, then that's great. If he can't then to bad. Fire him. A good actor is essential for portraying Harry's emotions in OotP.
A good screenplay / good direction -- a good actor can do a lot, but the script has to give him decent lines and provide a way for him to show the feelings other than just with facial expressions. Obviously the director also has to be tallented to deal with this. Since this thread is focusing on the GoF script, I'll concentrate on this second point from now on.
How to show Harry's feelings. This won't be easy, and I am not the best person to talk about this. Really, you need some very good tallent to properly show this, both from the actor and from the screenwriter/director. As a screenwriter, I probably don't have this tallent. But I'll try to have a few ramblings anyway...

I would make use of a few methods to try to show Harry's feelings.

1. Voice Overs. These should not be over-used, but they can be effective. In other words, you shouldn't just have Harry speaking all this thoughts on VO the whole movie, but at the same time, a well placed paragraph of VO dialog here and there can be powerful. Used in moderation, these can be a real window into Harry's thoughts and feelings.

2. Dreams. Perhaps dreams are a bit cliche, but in a movie, they are one of the better methods of showing how a character is feeling. I'm not talking about romantic dreams where the edges of the frame are blurred. I'm talking about short, quick shots, supposedly taking place in Harry's mind, that show some of his feelings. Like VO's, these should be used in moderation, but also like VO's, they can be effective if used right.

3. Dialog. Let's face it, much of a movie comes down to dialog. Movies are more external than books are, so often a character has to speak his feelings to another character. This can be dificult when you are dealing with an introverted character like Harry in OotP, but a good screenwriter should be able to give Harry good lines that show how he is feeling.

4. Created Scenes. This is the fourth method I would try to make use of. What I am thinking of is creating scenes who's sole purpose is to show how Harry feels. These scenes may or may not be things that actually "happen." Some good examples of this can be found in Heavenly Creatures, where there are scenes inside the girl's minds. This is related to dreams, but is also distinct from them.

So, I would try to make use of a variety of these elements when showing Harry's feelings. The overuse of any one element will cause the movie to be boring and uneffective, but a good mix of various methods, combined with good acting, will help the audience get a clear idea of how Harry is feeling.

Specific Scenes

Okay, here's a few thoughts I had about specific scenes and how I would do them.

Opening Scene

The first thing you see is the top bar of a swingset. A chain coming down from this is creaking slightly as it slowly moves back and fourth. We pan down to where Harry is sitting, his arm curled around this chain. We cut to a wide shot of the playground. Dudley and his gang are approaching. Dudley and his gang separate and each member begins to walk towards his home.

From here we cut to Dudley walking toward Privet Drive. Harry walks up to him. They begin to talk. The two of them turn into an alley. They begin to walk down the alley when suddenly the lights turn off and the wind begins to howl. The dementor's attack them, and, after a dramatic scene, the dementors flee down the Alley and Mrs. Figg hobbles up.

Explanation: I wanted to start with the dementor attack to give the movie a dark feeling. This sequence would also pave the way for the Ministry subplot, so we can get started on that right at the beginning. I thought this would make an effective opening scene.

The Attack on Mr. Weasley

Here, I would have the camera be the snake. We would be moving along the floor towards Mr. Weasley, who's face would be in shadow. We'd be moving up and down slightly, and there'd be thumping noises from being us. Mr. Weasley would stand up, and the camera, still near the floor, would be staring up at him. Then the camera, in a sweeping motion, would rise to height of Mr. Weasley's head and pull back slightly.

Only then would we cut to a shot of the snake, about to strike Mr. Weasley. The shot of the Snake biting Mr. Weasley would be done as a close-up of the snake's fangs, with graphic depicition of the bite. Mr Weasley would fall back, gushing blood. From here we would cut to Harry in the dorm.

Explanation: I wanted to do it this way to help the audience feel, like Harry did, like they were the Snake. I also wanted to be graphic with the Snake bite so the audience can understand how terrible it is, and how awful Harry feels. And I happen to like blood...

After the visit to St. Mungo's...

To help show that Harry doesn't trust himself, I have developped a little dream sequence. It would go something like this:

1) Harry is lying in bed, tossing and turning.
2) A snake is gliding off a bed onto the floor.
3) A snake is rising, fangs beared, over Ron.
4) Harry is lying in bed, still tossing and turning.
5) Mr. Weasley is lying in St. Mungo's, his bed sheets red with blood.
6) The snake is biting Fred.
7) George is gushing blood.
8) The snake is slithering through #12 Grimauld Place.
9) Harry sits up in bed, sweating, looking around.
10. Ron is lying in bed, sleeping peacefully.
11. Fred and George are also sleeping in their beds, unharmed.

Explanation: This is an example of where I would use a dream to demonstrate Harry's feelings. All these shots would be quick -- no more than two seconds for each one. The idea is that Harry doens't trust himself, and thinks he might attack someone. This sequence would be either accompanied with a VO, or preceded by dialog so that the audience wouldn't be lost.

Rookwook Dream

In the dream where Harry/Voldemort is talking to Rookwood, I would have Harry be the one actually in the scene. He might not actually be shown -- just his voice -- or we might see Harry, but the point would be that it was Harry in the room, talking to Rookwood. Then, when Harry turned and looking in the mirror, we would see Voldemort.

Explanation: Firstly, I wanted to up the shock when he looked in the mirror. However, I also think that doing it this way would help us understand that Harry felt it was him, not Voldemort. It's a dream, so it can be a little quirky like that.

Umbridge's Detentions

You need to feel that Umbridge is an evil saddist, so I would not, in any way, tone down these scenes. Harry would pick up the quill, put it to the paper, and begin to write. Just as he started to write, he'd gasp, and we'd quickly cut to the back of Harry's hand, which would be cut open, bleeding. Umbridge would be smiling at him in her evil way.

As Harry would continue to write, the camera would be focused on the back of Harry's hand, as it was cut open. From here we'd cut to the paper, where Harry was writing in his own blood. There would also be shots of Harry's face. At the end, Umbridge, still smiling, would pick up his hand, feel the red lines, then break them open so they began to bleed again. She would then take her finger, get a bit of Harry's blood on it, and as Harry left, we'd see her lick her finger.

Explanation: As I said above, Umbridge needs to come across as clearly a saddist and clearly evil. I want graphic detail. I added the little thing at the end just to make Umbridge even more repulsive.

Random Notes...

Finally I'd like to give some random ideas and thoughts I have on Order of the Phoenix as a movie. As you'll see, this is very random stuff... just a bunch of abstract thought's I've had.

The DA and Dumbledore leaving

I am not sure whether I want to keep this or not. This is a resistance movement, and might be important in later books, but at the same time, I feel that it might be better to streamline things and keep it simple by removing this. Dumbledore would never leave; Umbridge would simply pass a decree that gave her all the powers of the headmaster, so Dumbledore would be headmaster in name only.

One more thing along the lines of th DA. The DA really serves two purposes. It is, firstly, a resistance movement against the Ministry and against Umbridge. However, it is also a resistance movement against Voldemort -- they are, after all, preparing to fight Voldemort, not Umbridge. So, in this way, it is a sort of link between the book's two main plots, and it also helps make it clear that what Umbridge is doing is making the students unready to fight Voldemort, so, even thought the Ministry is supporting Voldemort, because they are against Hogwarts, they are ultimately doing what Voldemort wants.

So, in that regard, it might be good to keep the DA. However, as I said, it would be simpler not to, and simplicity is what I am aiming for. So, all in all, I'm devided on this issue. But I did want to bring it up.

Hagrid and Grawp

As I said already, I think Grawp should be cut. To expand a bit on that, Hagrid should still arrive late. I want Hagrid absent during much of the school year, because this adds to Harry's depressed aura. However, I don't think it should be stressed that the trio are concerned. We'll know that Hagrid is away with the giants, and I think the part about Madam Maxime returning home early should be cut. The reason Hagrid is late is because the journey took longer than expected. In a movie, I don't think needs to be elaborated upon.

Umbridge's Inspections

Obviously not all the inspections can be shown. With those that are shown (and the reactions to the inspection results) we have to be very careful to make Umbridge look evil, and not in any way clever. Thus, either Hagrid's inspection would go unshown, or it would have to be substantially altered so that Umbridge doesn't come across as witty.

A good inspection to show is McGonagall's, because here we get the definite feeling that McGonagall is wittier than Umbridge. Trelawny's inspection should go unshown, although we do need to find out the result of her inspection (obviously). We have to feel sorry for Trelawny when she is fired, and Trelawny's inspection makes it clear that Umbridge is right in putting her on probation. We can't have that.

Overall, the thing that needs to be remembered with the inspections is that we must always simpathise with the Hogwarts staff member. What is shown, and how its shown, is very important, because everything needs to be pointing one way -- for the Hogwarts staff, against Umbridge.

Trelawny

I'm not sure about her reaction when she finds out she is on probation. It is hilarious to read, but as I said above, we need to be very careful with this. Umbridge must never come across as witty or clever. However, I think as long as Trelawny's reaction is handled carefully, it'll be okay. Trelawny needs to be shown as a delicate, albeit odd, person who is very effected by the results of her inspection, and is driven into a state of depression. She shouldn't come across as to funny, although a bit of humour is okay, if it's done well.

One other note. I considered having Trelawny start doing drugs as a result of her inspection results, as opposed to drinking (like she does in the book). This might be going over the top, but it was an idea I had...

Luna Lovegood

Okay, Luna needs to be handled very carefully, and, I think, she'll need to have her character altered slightly. Luna needs to be an odd person, but not to odd. She is bullied (we'll need to establish this from the start) and rejected because she is different. She can read the Quibbler upside-down, but she can't come to the Gryffindor game wearing a huge lion on her head. She can be a bit weird, but she needs to be toned down a lot from how she is in the book.

Why? At the end of Order of the Phoenix, Luna gets very serious, and says some things to Harry that carry much more weight than is to be expected from her. In the movie, I see it as imperitive that Luna does not become comic relief, because that will make no one take her seriously. She needs to be different, made fun of, and bullied, but not as weird as in the book.

Another thing. Ron should not call Luna "loony." Ron has had his character ruined in the movies thusfar, and I think that needs to be turned around. Draco, on the other hand, needs to be degraded (see below), so if I was writing the script, I would give him the "loony" lines. Ron can stand up for Luna. In a movie, you have to be very careful what you give to who, because it carries a lot of impact.

Draco

Okay, let's face it, Draco has come across as witty and clever more than evil or loathsome in the first two movies, and as long as Kloves is writing these scripts, I see no reason for this to change. So, I think ideally, in Order of the Phoenix, Draco's character would be reverted to how it is in the book.

One example of this that I would do would be in the scene in Umbridge's Office. Umbridge has just pulled Harry out of her fire, and the members of the Inquisitorial Squad are there. Here I would have Draco slap Hermione across the face. This would help define him as loathsome, and would give the MPAA yet another reason to up the rating on the film. I also think that Draco should call Hermione a b*tch, if not a c*nt, as well as mudblood, to again help define him in his new character.

10 points to whoever actually read everything I said...

The Blademaster 03

September 21st, 2003, 8:23 pm

Hum... I think that scene in St. Mungo's is also relevant, specially the part with Neville's parents. It's quite important to Neville's character development.

I'm also looking forward to the DA meetings ( related to Umbridge's control over the school ) and the kiss scene.

I would cut the scene at the Hog's Head and about Harry and Cho's date, dunno... :rolleyes:

The scene at the ministry isn't that important, too. :shrug:

martinnyg

September 21st, 2003, 8:44 pm

Weee 10 points to me :cool: Anyway I really think you have to much of an Oliver Stone approach, drugs and words like b*tch and Harry Potter just don't go well imo. I don't think Draco would ever use the word b*tch either, it's a muggle expression, not a level Draco would sink to.
The DA is imo very important, it really shows how much they hate Umbridge. And having our beloved 3 making such a clear sign of resistance against her, will get the audience to hate her even more.
Dumbledore's flight is important as well, it really shows how powerful Dumbledore actually is. That he singlehandledly can take down, the Minister of Magic, his junior assistant, the Hogwarts High Inquisitor and 2 of the best Auror's. Without hurting Harry, McGonagall and Marietta the slightest. That's something. It's needed for Dumbledore's character imo. It will also show something about just how powerful Voldemort and Harry are too
I agree with the no Grawp thing. I really didn't like that in the book. It just seemed so unfinished, and that's why I actually fear that it'll be important in future books, and therefore not a good thing to cut.
And finally the the movie needs a lot of Kingsley Shacklebolt he was cool

Sorry for lack of grammer in the last sentence and this one my computer has gone mad

daniel4hp

September 21st, 2003, 9:15 pm

I don't think Draco would ever use the word b*tch either, it's a muggle expression, not a level Draco would sink to.
I (obviously) disagree. I don't think that any of us can really understand how offensive "mudblood" is, because our minds have not been programmed to be offended when we hear it. We may know, on an intellectual level, that the term is very derogitory in the books/movies, but we can't relate in the same way that we can to "b*tch" or "c*nt." So, whether or not Draco would actually use the term, for the sake of the movie, I think he should, because its a term that the audience can relate to. For Draco to call Hermione a mudblood is just as offensive as him calling her a b*tch, and I don't see any reason why Wizard's wouldn't use the term. It just adds to his character, helps make him more loathsome, and gives the audience something they can relate to.

Sebastian06

September 21st, 2003, 9:31 pm

Daniel, I'm afraid that I'll have to disagree with some of your ideas. In order for the audience to feel as though they are the snake, then it is essential that it is never actual shown. The camera zooming in on a shadowed Mr. Weasley is a good idea, and actually exactly how I imagined the scene, but instead of showing the snake, I think it would be much more effective to just show the fangs and the camera moving wildly around Arthur. I agree, however, that the blood and gore would have to be played up. As for Grawp...well, we really have no idea how his character will be explored in the final two books, so it would be better if he did appear in OotP. Maybe the whole Quidditch game could be cut out, and Hagrid could show him to HRH after a CoMC lesson or something. Grawp would then only be brought back into the story when Harry and Hermione need to be saved in the forest.

Dumbledore's escape absolutely needs to be in the movie, in order for the audience to get a feel for how powerful he really is. It would be a first, so it has to happen.

Oh, and I adore your rendition of the dententions with Umbridge. I agree - they definitely should not be toned down, but actually played up in order for the audience to understand how much of a sadist that woman is. The licking the finger addition is genius. :lol:

daniel4hp

September 21st, 2003, 9:47 pm

In order for the audience to feel as though they are the snake, then it is essential that it is never actual shown. The camera zooming in on a shadowed Mr. Weasley is a good idea, and actually exactly how I imagined the scene, but instead of showing the snake, I think it would be much more effective to just show the fangs and the camera moving wildly around Arthur.
I thought about doing it that way, and I certainly see where you're coming from. However, I don't think that would work. I think the audience needs to see Mr. Weasley get bitten for them to understand what's going on. I wanted the camera to be the snake for almost all the movie, but I thought at the very end, it would be more effective to quickly cut to a wide shot of the snake and Mr. Weasley, so people know that Mr. Weasley has been bitten by a snake. :shrug:

As for Grawp...well, we really have no idea how his character will be explored in the final two books, so it would be better if he did appear in OotP.
Unless Grawp kills Voldemort by knocking him out with a tree, I don't really think that Grawp will be essential to the series. He may or may not play more of a role in later movies, but I think that his role could be cut entirely. You have to think about the last three books as a single, large book, because I'm pretty sure that's how they will function. Looking at it that way, Grawp is just one side plot, or section of the plot, that will be removed. I doubt he will be so essential the last two books can't function without him.

Dumbledore's escape absolutely needs to be in the movie, in order for the audience to get a feel for how powerful he really is. It would be a first, so it has to happen.
I see where you are coming from, and it would be nice to keep. However, I think that Dumbledore shows his power in the Department of Mysteries, when he fights Voldemort, and so, while it would be good to precede that with this scene, I don't think its essential. If there's time to develop the whole DA thing, then yeah, the scene should be kept, but if there's not, than it might have to be cut. Of course, I could always have the scene without having the DA... (Harry would be brought to Dumbledore's Office for some other reason).

Although, now that I'm thinking about it, keeping the DA and Dumbledore's escape is looking more and more important...

The licking the finger addition is genius.
:D

Sebastian06

September 21st, 2003, 10:07 pm

Ah, well I'll just have to disagree, then. Unless the audience is extremely stupid, I don't see how they couldn't understand that Arthur was being attacked by a snake...plus, Harry says right out that it was a snake when he explains his dream to Dumbledore. The DA definitely cannot be cut out, otherwise, how would the kids learn how to cope with the battle at the DoM? They wouldn't know what to do, what with Umbridge not teaching them a **** thing all year long. As for Grawp...I dunno, I just have a feeling that his presence will be necessary later on in the series, plus his two scenes would not take up much time...his introduction with Hagrid would only have to be about a minute long, and he would later make a little cameo appearance, scaring away the centaurs as Harry and Hermione run out of the forest. And honestly, wouldn't we all like to see what he looks like on screen? ;)

NANLOVE

September 22nd, 2003, 1:41 am

Little questions:
1. If Grawp is cut then who is going to save Harry and Hermione from the centaurs?
2. If you cut the centaurs whos going to give Umbridge her lesson?
If you show the centaurs only taking away Umbridge then you would be loosing their arrogance and bitterness, i would really like to see Grawp probably played by a CG, like Madam Hooch, when she was present on the first film but outwritten in the next.

I don't see why Ron shouldn't call Luna "Loony", Harry also did it (not in front of her anyway), and Ron was a little "off his senses" when he did.

I think we should keep the scene of Neville with his parents in St Mungos's, near the end we can see Beatrix mocking Neville about that, for the emotional part.

Lockhart's scene would definitely go away, i dont think producers would want to pay another $6000000 to Kenneth Branagh for a near cameo.

daniel4hp

September 22nd, 2003, 2:26 am

Nanlove:

The centaurs would not harm Harry and Hermione becuase they're "foals." I know in the book they want to harm them, but this is the obvious way around the problem. I think we can show the Centaur's pride and all without them actually harming/trying to harm Harry and Hermione. Alternatively, the ending could be reworked entirely to be simpler, but I haven't given this enough thought to propose any new ending.

Regarding Ron calling Luna "loony," I was more thinking of occasions when he was in his right mind (I think he calls her that in his right mind...). It comes down to the little things -- its a minor thing in and of itself, but it also plays into Luna's new character. Luna is bullied/made fun of because she's different. People call her "loony" because she's different. If we then have Ron calling her that, it will put Ron in a bad light, and I don't want to do that, because if I was writing this screenplay, I'd be trying to build his character up.

I agree with you about Nevill's parents. I want to keep that too. Like Snape's Worst Memory, I don't know if it can be kept, but if it could, I think it would greatly enhance the movie. The ward where Neville's parents are can be near the ward where Mr. Weasley is, and the trio see Neville coming out while they are going in to see Mr. Weasley, because, like you said, there's no need to have Lockhart in the movie.

dumbleedore

September 22nd, 2003, 12:49 pm

If I was Steve Kloves i'd quit and get someone else to do a better job...

Sorry... I don't like him...

I think the cleaning of Grimmauld place would be cut and Harry's trial would be almost straight after he's rescued from Privet Drive and then they'll be straight back to school.

Umbridge as the enemy would be dragged in straight away and her education decrees would get passed quicker. We'd jump straight from Harry's detentions with her to Ron's first quidditch match with Harry, Fred and George getting banned and then from that onto the meeting in the Hogs Head.

From the meeting in the Hogs Head we'd jump to Harry's scene with Dobby where he discovers the room of requirement and then the first DA meeting. We'd jump ahead to Harry's first kiss and snake dream and christmas and then onto remedial potions (can't spell the other word).

From there we'd have marittea's betrayel and Dumbledore's flight, then Gred and Forges mischief. Snapes worst memory will be reduced and so would trelawney's sacking.

From Trelawney getting sacked we'll have the first lesson with Firenze and his warning to give to Hagrid.

I'm going to end here and edit this when I have a clear plan, I know i've forgotten some things and I can't reach my book.

carrie

September 23rd, 2003, 10:00 am

Hmm... I would probably cut the cleaning of Grimmauld Place, but I'd like to keep some scenes before Harry's hearing... for example, the stuff about Sirius's family, it's quite important because of the character development (and I like it). Plus, a lot of Tonks.

I'd like to cut Grawp, but well, he might be important later, so there could be a (very) short scene, like someone suggested.

Occlumency'd stay, and definitely Snape's Worst Memory (not too long, however, even though I ADORE the chapter).

I'd also have more Fred & George than the films have had this far...

And, I'd love to see Kenneth Branagh as Lockhart again, but yeah, I agree, that part isn't necessary.

The first thing you see is the top bar of a swingset. A chain coming down from this is creaking slightly as it slowly moves back and fourth. We pan down to where Harry is sitting, his arm curled around this chain. We cut to a wide shot of the playground. Dudley and his gang are approaching. Dudley and his gang separate and each member begins to walk towards his home.

From here we cut to Dudley walking toward Privet Drive. Harry walks up to him. They begin to talk. The two of them turn into an alley. They begin to walk down the alley when suddenly the lights turn off and the wind begins to howl. The dementor's attack them, and, after a dramatic scene, the dementors flee down the Alley and Mrs. Figg hobbles up.

Explanation: I wanted to start with the dementor attack to give the movie a dark feeling. This sequence would also pave the way for the Ministry subplot, so we can get started on that right at the beginning. I thought this would make an effective opening scene.

I like this, it's how the film SHOULD start.

And yeah, Umbridge licking her finger IS genius. Love that idea. :)

Any ideas about Harry's hearing? It could look good if it was made in the right way... the whole Wizengamot thing and all... hmm... I need to think about it.

Catgirl

September 23rd, 2003, 4:52 pm

I don't think Gwarp should be cut, because even if he isn't significant to the story, he's good for Hagrid's character development. He shows Hagrid's complete blindspot for dangourus things to it's max and he also shows that family means a lot to Hagrid. I think that family is going to be a very impotant theme for the whole series.

The DA should definately not be cut. They are imoprtant because they show Harry and the gangs resourcfulness, they show three of the four houses united aginst a commen enemy, they show that even children have a great strengh inside them and most importantly they show Harry's leadership qualities. I think that his leadership will be vital in future books.

I think the Umbridge/Minestry storyline should take centre stage, because it really does, not only to the book, but also to the characters in it. They make it easy for the characters to forget who the real enemies are and I think that's very good in a film because it makes the audiance forget too. Then the DoM sequence at the end of the film will be so much more exicting because the audiance have kind of took for granted that Harry is safe from Voldermort.

I think that the Christmas scene needs to be handled just right to promote Harry's close relationship with Sirius.

I think that the scene in Dumbledore's office at the end is the most important. That is where a good actor and good scriptwriter are most important. That is the scene that will make or break the movie.

I think that music and sound effects are important. I think that the music was overdone in the first two films. We need some subtle music to describe the moods of the scenes. This is the best way to show what is going on in Harry's head. Music is the best way to discribe emotion.

Take the attack on Arther Weasley for example. I think the best way to show that would be a camera looking through the snakes eyes. Don't show the snake, except make a qick flick of the tail out of the corner of the eye. As it's moving along have quiet hissing and sinister music. As Arter wakes up turn the music dramatic and build it up and make it faster and faster until the camera plunges at Arther. At that moment cut the music and make the screen go blank. Then have Harry waking up with a jerk. That makes things pretty obvious, but if anyone doesn't get it then Harry will be desperately explaining it to Ron straight away. A lot of things in the films are explained by the dialoge.

daniel4hp

September 23rd, 2003, 8:32 pm

Take the attack on Arther Weasley for example. I think the best way to show that would be a camera looking through the snakes eyes. Don't show the snake, except make a qick flick of the tail out of the corner of the eye. As it's moving along have quiet hissing and sinister music. As Arter wakes up turn the music dramatic and build it up and make it faster and faster until the camera plunges at Arther. At that moment cut the music and make the screen go blank. Then have Harry waking up with a jerk. That makes things pretty obvious, but if anyone doesn't get it then Harry will be desperately explaining it to Ron straight away. A lot of things in the films are explained by the dialoge.
I like that! You could also, later, show a quick shot of the snake actually biting Mr. Weasley, as a flashback.

I'd like to cut Grawp, but well, he might be important later, so there could be a (very) short scene, like someone suggested.
I tend not to like to many very quick scenes. It can work for SPEW, but adding a quick Grawp scene as well would just be to much. To many quick scenes that don't really relate to the story just scream "adaptation." I'd rather approach this more like an original screenplay, where everything that's there serves a clear purpose and there isn't a lot of "extra" stuff. The lack of a plot is bad enough; I don't want to add a bunch of only semi-relevent stuff on top of this.

As I said above, Grawp's role can, I am pretty sure, be cut from the books altogether. Look at it this way:

Before Order of the Phoenix came out, people wondered if Rita Skeeter would be needed in Order of the Phoenix, and whether or not she could be cut from GoF. Order of the Phoenix came out and people were like, "Ha! Here's Rita Skeeter! We can't cut her from GoF." Well, certainly, she plays a role in Order of the Phoenix, but she isn't needed. She could be cut from both movies without the plot really suffering.

This is how I see Grawp. Yes, he will probably make a reappearence later on. He will probably play some role, but I doubt that his role will be so important he can't be cut from the entire series. Even a semi-important character can be removed fairly easily. Unless Grawp is at the center of the plot in a future book, which I doubt, I see no reason why he can't just be removed from the series.

hesdead-dealwithit

September 24th, 2003, 12:58 am

I agree, Grawp can be cut. Even if he has a role later, it will only have to do with getting the giants on the Order's side, and Hagrid can fill that role. One question. How are you going to do the DD vs. LV duel? It's just awesome in the books, and I'm sure it seemed to everyone so vivid that you could imagine it in a movie. But this is the problem - it doesn't take very much time. Most of it is description, and as we know, one picture takes up 1000 words of description. There are only about 5 or ten shots actually fired, and I could easily see it ending up as only a minute long - and I think it HAS to be longer. So... what are your thoughts?

nhut

September 24th, 2003, 1:23 am

In no particular order...

I disagree about cutting Grawp. He doesn't need to have a long introduction, and the scene where he fights off the centaurs is to good to be cut.

I'd emphasise Voldemort's presence a bit more. And Lucius' too. Perhaps have Lucius come to Hogwarts and 'suggest' to Umbridge that McGonagal conveniently hear of the plan to get rid of Hagrid, perhaps under Voldy's orders to remove anyone who Harry might go to for help. The presence of evil has to be made very clear.

As for the snake, I don't think you could show JUST the view from the snake's eyes. That would be too like Jaws/Jurassic Park II. Show the snake, and also show the view from the eyes. Make the scene that ensures a hellishly fast-paced uncomfortable one. Somehow. :)

Perhaps to show Voldy's possession of Harry causing him to attack Dumbledore, he could just about knock him over before he's pulled away by the Portkey.

You would have to keep Dumbledore's escape. Get across his amusingly dry sense of humour.
Dumbledore: "I'm sorry, but if you're under the delusion that I will... what is the expression... what's the expression..."
Dumbledore twiddles his fingers for a moment, eyes closed, deep in thought. Fudge and co are not amused.
Dumbledore: "... come quietly, I am afraid you are quite mistaken."
Fudge: "Oh, enough of this rubbish! Seize him!"
Dumbledore: "I don't think you want to do that."
Umbridge (smiling devilishly): "Why ever not, headmaster?"
Dumbledore smiles. HUGE EXPLOSION.

I like it, if I do say so myself. :)

I like the idea of the multiple snake attack deam sequence. Perhaps Harry should wake up yelling, making everyone else wake up, ask what's wrong, etc. Mrs Weasley, Sirius could come in, fuss, Harry gets surly, yells at everyone to go away. This emphasises his isolation from just about everyone. It also would be the last time Harry and Sirius see each other before the MoM, and if they part on bad terms, it could make it even more emotional.

The Snape's Worst Memory sequence could, instead of being Harry going into the penseive, an extension of the part where Harry manages to resist Snape's probeing of his memory, and accidentally sees into Snape's. He could simply see Snape being held in the air by his father's spell, Sirius and Lupin laughing, his mother trying to stop him.
Back in the 'real world', Snape yells at him to stop, reproaches him, and asks him mockingly if his opinion of his 'heroes' Lupin, Sirius and his father has changed now. Harry could reply with some scathing comment that shows his disdain for Snape and now Lupin, Sirius and his father. "Yeah, I think they're slightly better than you." Or something like that. Snape then throws him out.
This would avert a need for Harry to talk with Lupin and Sirius at Grimmauld Place via the fire, because Harry would feel so angry and betrayed by them. As Harry towards Gryffindor tower after this, fuming, he sees Fred and George leave, and meets up with Hermione and Ron.
Umbridge's throwing out of Trelawney would happen the next day, in the next scene, just as the audience was starting to feel happy again.

Whew. How's that for condensing. :) Several birds killed with one stone.

I'll think of more later.

Tarawyn

September 24th, 2003, 2:29 am

Cutting in here...

nuht, on your adaptation of Snape's Worst Memory - I'm not sure how well that'll work onscreen. The thing is, if you just have a flash of memory, a few seconds of the taunting, you have to already know what's going on to be able to follow. It doesn't give you time to identify the kid James and co. and Snape, not enough time to figure out what's going on, and not enough time for it to sink in. You don't need as much exposition as Rowling gives it - you could cut to just before the fight, just enough time to give us an idea of what's going on - but you need something.

Dumbledore's escape should stay, I think. It's practical along with everything else... I can't see Umbridge usurping Dumbledore's power while Dumbledore was there, and I can't see how the entire end of the book would have happened without Dumbledore doing something. You can emphasize Dumbledore's weakness that way, but if you want to keep his little duel with Voldemort, it begins to make less and less sense...

So long as it's obvious that Occlumency and Voldemort is a problem, I guess the Ministry can take precedence. I don't think it should run as it did in the book, because the last scene was anticlimatic to the point where you could only half-tell what was going on. Adding to that plotline would help balance that.

daniel4hp

September 24th, 2003, 2:29 am

How are you going to do the DD vs. LV duel? It's just awesome in the books, and I'm sure it seemed to everyone so vivid that you could imagine it in a movie. But this is the problem - it doesn't take very much time. Most of it is description, and as we know, one picture takes up 1000 words of description. There are only about 5 or ten shots actually fired, and I could easily see it ending up as only a minute long - and I think it HAS to be longer. So... what are your thoughts?
Two things: first, even if it isn't that long, it can be filmed in such a way as to make it seem longer. Second, and more importantly, it will probably have to be added to. It doesn't have to be particularly original, but you have Voldemort and Dumbledore spinning around, casting spells, apparating a bit, etc. for a bit more, and the very repition of it will make it seem even longer.

As for the snake, I don't think you could show JUST the view from the snake's eyes. That would be too like Jaws/Jurassic Park II.
True. We don't want it to come across as corny.

You would have to keep Dumbledore's escape. Get across his amusingly dry sense of humour.
Dumbledore: "I'm sorry, but if you're under the delusion that I will... what is the expression... what's the expression..."
Dumbledore twiddles his fingers for a moment, eyes closed, deep in thought. Fudge and co are not amused.
Dumbledore: "... come quietly, I am afraid you are quite mistaken."
Fudge: "Oh, enough of this rubbish! Seize him!"
Dumbledore: "I don't think you want to do that."
Umbridge (smiling devilishly): "Why ever not, headmaster?"
Dumbledore smiles. HUGE EXPLOSION.
Nice! :D

I like the idea of the multiple snake attack deam sequence. Perhaps Harry should wake up yelling, making everyone else wake up, ask what's wrong, etc. Mrs Weasley, Sirius could come in, fuss, Harry gets surly, yells at everyone to go away. This emphasises his isolation from just about everyone. It also would be the last time Harry and Sirius see each other before the MoM, and if they part on bad terms, it could make it even more emotional.
Wow. I like that idea, especially the part with Harry and Sirius angry at each other. Nice.

As for the Occlumency thing, I think its possible, but I'm afraid it would be to quick. There just isn't enough time during what Harry can see to really capture the scene. All Harry could see before Snape would break the connection would be a few glimses, probably at a pretty high speed. I like the ideas about condensing, but I don't know if its possible.

nhut

September 24th, 2003, 4:49 am

nuht, on your adaptation of Snape's Worst Memory - I'm not sure how well that'll work onscreen. The thing is, if you just have a flash of memory, a few seconds of the taunting, you have to already know what's going on to be able to follow. It doesn't give you time to identify the kid James and co. and Snape, not enough time to figure out what's going on, and not enough time for it to sink in. You don't need as much exposition as Rowling gives it - you could cut to just before the fight, just enough time to give us an idea of what's going on - but you need something. You'd obviously have to put just enough in for it to be clear what's happening. Throw in a few names here and there. And it would be more than just a few seconds.

It'd be a shame to dwell excessivly on Snape's memory and have to cut, say, Grawp attacking the centaurs. Come to think of it, you don't really need to see Grawp the first time. Hagrid could talk about bringing home a "little friend", and Hermione and Harry refuse to gol saying they have to get back go Quidditch. Or Hagrid could mention it to them during the Quidditch game.

Doggy

September 24th, 2003, 3:25 pm

Reading OotP was incredibly complicated. I had to read it through several times before getting it, since it's so full of plots and sub-plots and sub-sub-plots and sub-sub-sub-plots. So, I would insist on shortening it down (and I nenver thought I'd say this about a Harry Potter book).

What I would cut would be
- quidditch as much as possible. The whole banning thing felt very unecessary and annoying and it-doesn't-go-together-with-the-story-ish.
- Harry and Cho. Again; it didn't feel like it was bringing that much to the story.
- The whole Rita Skeeter/Quibbler scene(s) would be shortened down. Maybe I wouldn't bring Rita into it at all. But I don't know how it would mentioned in that case.

daniel4hp

September 24th, 2003, 9:02 pm

Okay, here's something I am interested in hearing everyone's opinions...

Obviously Harry has many dreams of the Ministry of Magic corridor in OotP. These are important to the plot. How would you handle these scenes? Would you show Harry walking down the corridor, or just have the camera move down the hallway? How fast would Harry or the camera go? What sort of cinematography would you use? How would you capture Harry's feelings of wanting to get through the door?

These scenes are very short, and done in a conventional way, would only take a few seconds. However, I feel that you might want to do something to up the apparent importance of these scenes to match their real importance. How would you do these scenes for the maximum effect?

hesdead-dealwithit

September 24th, 2003, 10:40 pm

I think the best way to do the corridor scenes is to put the camera behind Harry, who is walking slowly down the hall. The scene is dark, maybe with a bluish tint. There is a sliver of light emanating from the door down the hall, and Harry's back is framed by the bit of light. At first, Harry is walking slowly and kind of disinterestedly. In later scenes, there is a kind of drumbeat, dramatic music playing softly and Harry is walking briskly - but never running. Each scene would only last maybe 10 or 20 seconds, but if done repeatedly, hopefully the audience would see it both as a routine and something that is gradually building up in importance. Last note - the dreams about the corridor would be unexplained for as long as possible, maybe not even talked about by anyone until the Occlumency lessons. They should seem like something mysterious, different from the rest of the movie, keeping the audience intrigued and interested, even restless.

The Green Fool

September 24th, 2003, 10:52 pm

Would you show Harry walking down the corridor, or just have the camera move down the hallway? How fast would Harry or the camera go? What sort of cinematography would you use?

Personally, I would go for the "Harry's Point-of-View" angle!

I would have the camera move slowly down the hallway to begin with and then speed it up a notch each time the scene is repeated (to add to the intensity) so that by the last time the camera is gliding swiftly and perhaps swaying slightly as it moves to give the impression that this is a dream.

I kind of imagine this scene to be much like the classic scene in Kubrick's "The Shining" - dark and intense!

Dragonfly the 2nd

September 25th, 2003, 3:18 am

OK. Here's my beginning of the movie. It'd start with Harry saying something. A voiceover, saying something, anything about his current thoughts. Being stuck at Privet Drive and not having enough information. The screen would be black, and then as if the camera was moving downward or a room was moving upward, the corridor would be onscreen. We'd see Harry walking toward the camera, and as he and the camera "collide" the camera would turn so that it would be looking at him from the side. He would be walking, and there would be voiceovers talking about how frustrated he was, and how this corridor kept coming back to him. He would talk about how he wanted whatever what was at the end, and then he'd reach the door. He'd try to open. It'd be locked. Then he'd kick, scream, bang on the door, basically go insane. And then he'd be on a swing, in a playground. "What was that?" he would say. Then, seeing Dudley in the distance, he'd get off the swing and follow him. He'd hear a crack, turn to see who had apparated, and then be face to face with a dementor. "No! Here?" he'd gasp, and fall backwards on the ground. The dementor would slowly lower its hood...when suddenly, "EXPECTO PATRONUM!!!" The dementor is driven back by the silver stag, and Harry gets up and sees another dementor, about to kiss Dudley. He points his wand at the dementor and the stag quickly rams into the dementor, and both disappear in an explosion of silver fire. Then he looks down the street and sees Mrs. Figg coming. He puts his wand away. "Idiot boy! Don't put it away, there might be more of them! I'm going to KILL Mundungus Fletcher!"

And that's the end of the first chapter: (on the DVD) "Dudley Demented"

The next chapter begins with MF's apparition. "S'up figgy?" he says. "I tell you what's up! DEMENTORS! On your watch!" "Dementors?!? Dementors HERE?!?! Somebody's gotta tell Dumbledore!" And then Mrs. Figg keeps hitting him with her purse and says "Yes! And it had better be you and can tell him why you weren't there to help!" Mundungus says "Keep your airnet on! I'm going!" and disapparates. Harry asks Mrs. Figg "You're a witch?!?" and she says, "No, I'm a squib. Bring the fat boy and come on." Harry puts his wand away and she saus "Idiot boy! Don't put it away, there may be more!"

I'll post more of it later I've gotta go

WhiteSlash

September 25th, 2003, 3:39 am

For the camera in the corridor:

The camera goes slowly down on the hall in a grayish(Think Spider-man) slow-mo. It spins slowly down the corridor and here you hear the snake going down the wood and then lighting flashes and you see a man, but not his face(Sort of like...Desperado?). Then you see the fangs of the snake and then a crash and hear a scream and Harry jumps up.

My one, two. I should put it in scrit form:).

Dragonfly the 2nd

September 26th, 2003, 1:28 am

The way I'd do the snake part would be to have the camera "be" the snake the whole time. It just slithers down the corridor and Mr. Weasley is at the end (but his face is shadowed). THen he gets up and the snake/camera kind of jumps at him (or zooms in really fast) and quickly cuts to Harry waking up. "What's wrong, Harry?" Ron asks, and Harry says, "It's your dad, Ron...he's been attacked by a big snake..."

daniel4hp

September 27th, 2003, 5:04 pm

Okay, I've started a new thread for talking about stuff like how you'd do the snake attack and the corridor dream. So, back to discussion of the script...

Here's a few more ramblings that I'd like to make on adapting Order of the Phoenix...

When tackling a book like Order of the Phoenix, cutting scenes is not enough. In fact, I'd say that cutting scenes is hardly even neccessary. Any film editor can cut scenes to bring the film down to the right length. That is not an issue. What is an issue, both in adaptations in general, and in Order of the Phoenix in particular, is cutting plots.

One thing that annoys me intensly is when people speculate on what scenes will be cut. There is nothing inherintly wrong with this speculation, since obviously a great many scenes will be cut. However, I feel that this sort of speculation rather misses the point. If you filmed every scene in Order of the Phoenix, then started cutting scenes out, you would never be able to get a three hour movie. It would just be impossible. However, if the screenwriter cuts out plots, it becomes quite easy to cut the book down to size.

Order of the Phoenix is a book with a great many plots, as I have said in above posts. The issue in this book is complexity, not length. A very long book, if it is simple enough, can be quite easy to condense. The reverse is also true -- a reletively short book, if complex enough, can be difficult to adapt. Order of the Phoenix is long, yes, but that is not the primary problem. The primary problem is that it is a complex book.

People can only handle so many plots in a movie. In a book, you can load in plot after plot, and even if people get a little confused, it is no tragedy. But in a movie? In a movie, you have to keep things simple. People can only handle so many plots. They can handle a romantic side story, they can handle a backstory, they can handle a comedic side plot, they can even handle a subplot or two that don't fall into these catagories. But all of these in the same movie? Hardly.

So, lets look at Order of the Phoenix. Romantic sideplot? Check. Backstory? Check. Comedic plot? Check. Other plots? Certainly.

For romance, we have Harry and Cho taking up a good amount of time. Snape's Worst Memory serves as a backstory, revealing things from before the story began. Fred and George, while in the background in parts of the book, are in the foreground in other parts, and without a doubt, provide a comedic plot that is hardly related to the main plot.

But Rowling doesn't leave it at this. We have the rather large subplot of the Ministry control over Hogwarts, but we also have other plots, such as Hagrid & Grawp, SPEW, and Ron's Quidditch woes. All of these take a share in the story, but do not relate to the main plot. All of these simple cannot stay in the movie adaptation.

So, it comes down to a decision of which of these plots should stay, and which we must say good-bye to. Every person will have their own views on this, and there is no right answer. However, I think that anyone who thinks that they can manage to keep all, or even most, of these plots, must be considered wrong. In a single movie, you can neither develop this many plots, or portray them in a way that keeps the audience on track. There are just some things that cannot be done.

So after my rather long and repetitive ramblings, I'd like to focus this discussion on this question, which I see as the core of any adaption of Order of the Phoenix:

If you were adapting Order of the Phoenix, which plots would you cut?

Consider:
Would you keep a romantic subplot?
Would you keep a backstory?
Would you have a comedic plot?
Which, if any, of the other plots would stay?
Which plots would you stress, and which would you downplay?
Remember, this is not just about time constraints. This is about keeping the audience's focus on the real plot -- Voldemort. It is preferable to have a simpler movie that people can understand, not a complicated movie were people get lost. And keep in mind, if you introduce a subplot, it should be a plot, meaning it needs to be developped.

(I know I have said most of this before, but I want to get the discussion back on track, and get a good discussion of the adaption of this book going here.)

Tarawyn

September 27th, 2003, 5:44 pm

Would you keep a romantic subplot?
I think so. It adds a bit to the story; it works well enough with a movie, and plenty of movies have done it before; and it doesn't that much screentime, so it's not going to distract anyone from the real issues anyway.

Would you keep a backstory?
A somewhat condensed one. Leaving it out would be an invitation for future plot holes, I think. Not to mention that it manages to work itself into the plot, and if you cut it, it might leave the movie a little empty. We've established that there's a lot of thought in the movie and not so much action - that's a very good, active interlude that could come in handy.

Would you have a comedic plot?
Not so much as Rowling wrote in, but a little something would be nice. If it's worked well, you could leave the bits that build up Ministry and Umbridge resentment and cut everything else.

Which, if any, of the other plots would stay?
The 2 main plots, obviously. I think SPEW and a bit of Ron's Quidditch could be worked in without keeping the full subplots they had in the book. The DA is good, if you don't emphasise it's screentime and emphasise it's effects instead. I'm not sure about Grawp. I don't see what purpose he'd play in the movie...

Which plots would you stress, and which would you downplay?
Stress Voldemort, downplay the Ministry a bit so it doesn't completely overshadow Voldemort, work in Snape's memory as an interlude with effects in the present than a plot of its own, use the DA to support the Voldemort plot, and use humor to support the Ministry plot.

martinnyg

September 27th, 2003, 8:20 pm

Personally I wouldn't include the romantic subplot, it's one of the things that most definitely is going to be included in the real script. But honestly I don't think romance is very fitting to this movie, because it has absolutely nothing to do with the main plots.

I would neither include Snape's worst memory. As much as I loved it in the book. It would feel rather ackward in a movie, because it would be a problem that wouldn't get a solution. It would just be there, Harry would talk a bit would Sirius and Lupin about it. Nothing that is needed at all. And it doesn't really help anything.

I would keep the Fred and George comedy plot. Because this does have something to do with the plot I find the most important in the book, The Ministry's inteference at Hogwarts. This is a major part of the resistance that they make these pranks, and that the teachers do nothing to help Umbridge.

I would cut Grawp and SPEW. But I would keep Ron and the Quidditch. Mainly because this makes Ron a real character unlike the way he has been treated in the first two movies. He has a guy with problems, not just Harry's overplaying comedic sidekick. Besides keeping that means keeping Harry and the twins ban from Quidditch, which again is a major part of the Students vs. Umbridge. Which would be the plot I would give the most emphasis.

Of course the dreams would be kept. But in the background, just being there as something weird, that you don't really know what is. Also the ministry hearing would be kept. Because it shows that the ministry wants to get rid of Harry, and it introduces Umbridge and the DoM.

That's it for now, maybe more later.

Flobberworm

September 27th, 2003, 9:15 pm

I would definitely include the romantic parts. Harry is growing up and that needs to be established in the movies.

I would like to cut Grawp. I wasn't too fond of that in the book anyway. However, if he has a larger role in the next two books, then maybe there could be a little piece on him.

I would stress the Voldemort/Ministry plot because the book pretty much revolves around that, and also the Ministry interference at Hogwarts with Umbridge. (I can't wait to see who plays her :D)

Also I think Harry's strong relationship with Sirius should be stressed. The auidence should see how much they care for eachother to understand how his death affected Harry.

That's all I can think of right now, maybe I'll post some more later.

Tarawyn

September 27th, 2003, 9:24 pm

About the romantic subplot having no relevance on the story... Well, that's true. But it's also an easy diversion, a little more action that can get some of the thought that makes up the book across, it won't be hard to work in, and it'll make sense no matter what they do to it. You could even embellish the romance a little bit so it's more relevant to the plot.

Sirius' relationship with Harry is a very good thing to stress. Otherwise it makes no sense whatsoever for Harry to run after Bellatrix like a complete nut after he dies... And, come to think of it, you can work Snape's worst memory into that, too. There isn't any real result in the book - what you get from it is deduced. Everything in that sequence is deduced. If you condense it and make the effects more clear, it does have relevance to the plot. I also get the feeling it's going to be an issue in the future, so, thinking of future movies, not including it would mean they'd have to write other things in... Which they could do.

Aurora

September 27th, 2003, 11:12 pm

Actually you never put camera directions into a screenplay. In a screenplay, you basically write just a basic underline - eg. Dialogue, scene description, actions, a bit of limited emotion. Then it's up to the directors, cinematographers & actors to bring it to life. Most of the time, screenwriters are the least paid of the Four Essentials - Producer, Director, Actor, Screenwriter. And 99% of the time the end project will be completely different to the screenplay sold.

daniel4hp

September 28th, 2003, 12:20 am

Yeah, I know, Aurora. So this thread is a little broader than the actual screenplay, but that's okay. Anyway, I did start a thread for more of the directing-type stuff, so from now on, if you want to discuss the directing/cinematography/etc. elements, please go here. (http://www.cosforums.com/showthread.php?t=18701)

daniel4hp

September 28th, 2003, 10:13 pm

Okay, as for my thoughts on this, they're rather jumbled, and I'm not sure exactly what I'd do. But here's some comments...

The stress absolutely has to be on the Voldemort plot. This is essential, since this is ultimately what the book is built around. Now, I know I've said it before, buy I'll say it again -- this does mean that you have to change the focus from what it was in the book. However, I do feel that this is neccessary if you are to keep the same plot as the book.

This leaves the Ministry plot to be the primary side plot. This includes the DA, althought he DA does relate to the Voldemort plot as well. This should be portrayed as the Ministry's authoritarian efforts to take over Hogwarts, and their stream of propaganda they are using to decieve the public. The DA is an example of Civil Disobedience. In other words, this plot will clearly be, to the audience, the political subplot to the movie.

Now, I'm going to skip over the romantic, comedic, and backstory plots for now, and move on to the books other plots. For right now, I'll be looking at Grawp, Ron and his Quidditch Woes, and SPEW.

First, Grawp. As I've said before, he's going. There is no room for him in this already crowded book. Ron's Quidditch Woes might stay, but I'm inclined to cut Quidditch entirely (or almost entirely), in order to simplify the movie and save time. In addition, the Ron plot is probably the most developped subplot, and we already have a fully developped subplot in the form of the Ministry plot. As for SPEW, this is the one time where I will say that I support a very much downsized version. My general philosophy is to either develop it or to cut it, but in this case, I think a couple of shots of Hermione knitting hats, with a couple lines of dialog, is okay.

Now for the other plots. First, Romance. This is entirely dependant on time. If there's time in the movie for it, it stays. If there isn't time, it doesn't stay. I'm not concerned about people confusing this with the real plot, but I am concerned about the movie getting to long, or people just having the general impression that to much is being thrown at them. So, ideally I'd like to keep it, but it might get cut.

Second, there is the backstory plot. I will only include this if I can develop it. This means more than just including Snape's Worst Memory. I have to build up to Snape's Worst Memory with various references to the Marauder's era, references to how Harry resembles/doesn't resemble his dad, references to the old Order of the Phoenix, and various other stuff to develop the idea of an era before the story takes place in the audience's mind. Post S'sWM, I need to have Harry's depression issues and his talk with Sirius (alternatively, talk with Lupin) that resolves the issue. I definitly want to include this, but if I can't develop it, its going.

As for Fred and George, I inclined to say cut. They'll be in there are funny twins with plans to start a joke shop, but they aren't going to have a plot dedicated to them. I want there to be humour in the movie, but I don't feel I can devote an entire plot to it -- there are just to many other plots to develop. So, Fred and George will have some jokes, but that's all.

The stress, throughout the whole movie, needs to be on the Voldemort plot. However, this is a book heavilly supported by subplots, and while that needs to be downplayed in the movie adaptation, I still want supporting subplots. This will come mostly from the Ministry subplot, which will provide a political element to the movie, but I would like to compliment this with a backstory and, if time allows, Ron's Quidditch Woes and the romantic Harry & Cho plot. But these two might have to be cut.

Dragonfly the 2nd

October 1st, 2003, 9:13 pm

The stress should be on Voldemort. Voldemort should be the clear main plot. Either that, or it should be sort of like a duel between the two plots. Every time there's some major development with the Ministry plot, there ought to be a big reminder of the Voldemort plot, or vice versa. It's not that complicated really. Every time Umbridge does something new, we'd see the DoM dream again, just to remind everyone that while they're all arguing over wether Voldemort is back or not, he's gaining strength. Voldemort can't just vanish.

As for Quidditch and the romance, I think the romance can go, but the Quidditch should stay. Quidditch should be two matches, but with only one of them shown. Harry would get banned in the first match, and then the second match would be about to start when Hagrid comes and takes them to see Grawp (he should stay, I think. They kept Norbert, didn't they?). Cho Chang can probably be cut from the series completely.

hesdead-dealwithit

October 1st, 2003, 9:47 pm

I think the LV plot should be very small and under the surface. There should be enough of it so that the viewers is healthily confused by the dreams, wondering what is happening with Voldemort, but the focus should be on the Ministry confrontation. Quidditch should be essentially cut out (never thought I'd say that), as should Grawp (although the possibility for him being bigger should be left open - maybe a small remark about Hagrid coming late, etc., enough to put Grawp in later if need be.) Romance should stay but be cut down. Fred and George should be in the background (literally - as in we see them paying people to be testers while the trio is doing something else), but the exit has to be kept, but blended more into the anti-Umbridge plot line.

daniel4hp

October 1st, 2003, 10:15 pm

Here's something else to ponder...

Not only is the plot very minor, it doesn't follow what people want or expect. Imagine for a second that everything else is stripped away, so we just have our simple plot with Voldemort, the dreams, and Harry. Emediately there are some problems:

1. Our protagonist (Harry) is, throughout most of the movie, a victem. That would be okay if, in the end, he accomplished something, but he doesn't. At the end, he is lured to the Department of Mysteries, where he sees Sirius get killed and where Dumbledore battles Voldemort. His role isn't a minor one, but ultimately, he doesn't do a whole lot.

2. The plot has no conclusion. Harry fails at defeating Bellatrix and Voldemort, so Dumbledore comes in to save the day, but he doesn't defeat Voldemort either. At the end of the book we are left with a depressed "hero" and a villain who's still at large. The protagonist doesn't do anything, the "Wise Old Man" is more of a hero than Harry is, and the villain gets away. Where are we left? Where we were at the beginning.

So, what it boils down to, is that nothing happens in this book. Or, should I say, nothing that makes a plot. Voldemort is trying to lure Harry to the Department of Mysteries, and he succeeds. Harry fights Voldemort and he fails. At the beginning, the Order is fighting Voldemort. At the end, the Order is still fighting Voldemort. Harry has learned some lessons, and the readership is a bit the wiser about a few things, but that's about all.

So, here's something to consider from a screenwriting POV:

Once you've stripped away the "fake" plots, how would you handle the main plot? What would you do to try to give it structure? How would you take a plot where nothing happens and try to make people feel that the movie wasn't a waste?

Mind, I'm not saying that this can't be done, or that its a bad book. However, I am saying that from a screenwriting point of view, it proposes quite a few challenges. Simply transfering it to the screen straight from how it was in the book isn't going to cut it. Something has to be done -- what would you do?

Lady Greyjoy

October 2nd, 2003, 7:40 am

Daniel,

I think that is a very hard question to answer...If i were writing the screenplay i would SHOW that this story is hard, the villian gets away and Dumbledore is failable...this can be a plot in and of itself, Harry is Tricked and Sirius dies. I would make that the main plot along with the prophesy being revealed.

Sub-plots: So the movie wouldn 't be all that depressing for 10 years olds.

Romance...definatly this adds to the "nothing turning out right" while still being to the auidence pretty amusing.

Quiddich and Ron's triumph i think has to be shown, a little light in the dark.

I would take out Snapes worst memory (this could be a flashback in later movies(?) if it is important.)

I would try to get in Dumbledores escape. It's pretty cool.

You could just have the twins at some point in the movie say "were going" and leave it at that...it would be simpler :)

daniel4hp

October 2nd, 2003, 9:11 pm

Okay, here's my partial answer to the my last question...

When Harry enters the Department of Mysteries, they expect to find Sirius there and for Harry to save Sirius. This obviously isn't the case. This is the first in a series of unexpected events. Harry has been the victim the entire movie, and here he is, again, the victim. Only this time he is successfully fooled by Voldemort. Our hero is tricked. And so is the audience.

To solve this problem, I would try to make it clear before Harry entered the Department of Mysteries that Hermione was right. Harry obviously wouldn't believe her, but I would try to do the scene from Hermione's POV. This is walking a thin line, to say the least, because we need to sympathise with Harry in the movie. However, I think that it would be better to have the audience know, before we get to the DoM, that Sirius isn't there. I might change my mind later, but for now, that's how I'm thinking I'd do it.

Now we come to the next, and substanially greater, problem -- Harry doesn't do anything. So, he doesn't save Sirius because Sirius isn't there. But more than that, he really doesn't accomplish anything. When the hero enters into the perilous zone, people expect him to leave triumphant. Harry doesn't. That's a problem.

There's only two ways around this. The first way around it is to alter the plot so Harry manages to do something. For example, we could change it so Dumbledore doesn't turn up to save the day, but rather Harry miraculously fights him. This would be substantially altering the story, and would leave many fans screaming, but might appear more satisfying to those who didn't already know the story.

The only other way to deal with this is to have Harry win an inner battle. This too is dificult, for Harry has just seen Sirius get killed, and leaves the DoM in a very depressed mood in the book. But unless he conquores something -- whether it be Bellatrix, Voldemort, or his inner fears, the audience will be disappointed. Harry can't leave defeated; something has to happen in the Department of Mysteries that is a victory for him.

Both of these ideas are playing with the story in one way or another, although I think the first makes significantly more changes than the second. But, either way, I think something has to be done. We are attatched to our little defeated hero, but the movie audience won't be, and unless something happens, they'll only be disappointed, and may stop sympathising with Harry in the troubles that still face him.

A depressing story where everything goes bad and nothing turns out right -- a story where we aren't any further at the end than we were at the beginning -- is not satisfying from a film point of view. Harry can be depressed and the story can be full of failure, but unless the hero accomplishes something in the climax, the audience will leave the theatre confused and disappointed.

Now, to the third ailment of the book -- Dumbledore. I'm not refering to the fact that he admits to failures. That part is fine. The problem is that Dumbledore, and by extension the Order of the Phoenix, are at the center of this story, yet they take up almost no space in the book. The Order of the Phoenix is the group fighting Voldemort, not Harry. Harry is the victim, not the hero. The book doesn't really have a hero, but in the end, I would have to say that Dumbledore is the "hero" more than Harry -- he is the one who puts Voldemort off and saves our little protagonist. But here we have an obvious problem.

It has been clear to me for some time that the plot will have to be reworked -- that taking the book straight to the screen just won't cut it here. I have discussed before how the subplots will need to be stripped away -- how the focus of the book needs to be changed. But, when we strip away the subplots, what are we left with? To say the least, and incomplete plot.

So, it will become important to play up the role of Dumbledore and the Order of the Phoenix. They can't just drop into obscurity. But here we are faced with a dilema: by so doing, we are taking the focus off of Harry, who has to be our protagonist. So, I think Harry's role may have to be somewhat altered too. Harry has to be the hero of the story -- the one we simpathise with -- yet he is not the one who puts Voldemort off. This is where what I said above becomes, once again, important.

Harry needs to fight a psychological battle throughout the film. During the climax, Harry wins this inner battle, coming to peace something. What this something is, I don't know. It may have to be invented. But whatever it ends up being, this needs to be the center of the story. Then, once Harry has come to peace with this, and the audience is convinced that he is indeed the hero, Sirius will be killed, giving Harry a new battle to fight. The audience will then sympathise with him because he has managed to win the first psychological battle. He is the hero, and people sympathise with the hero.

But if we concentrate on this inner plot, what becomes of the outer plot? Here I think we can, in many ways, follow the book, with the exception that the importance of the Order of the Phoenix, and of Dumbledore, must be played up. However, because Harry is fighting his own inner battle, the audience will view him as the protagonist. The movie will be from his point of view, and he will be hero, but the action will fall largely on others. He isn't the one fighting Voldemort in this book, and he isn't the one who puts Voldemort off in this book. But that's okay, if done correctly.

So, to summarize:

The center of this plot is Harry's psychological battle -- Harry's fight with himself. Meanwhile, throughout all this, on the outside, another battle is raging, being fought by the Order of the Phoenix and Dumbledore. Harry is part of this battle, but he is not playing the lead role. Then, because Harry is lured into the Department of Mysteries, and because of what happens there, Harry overcomes these inner conflicts and wins his psychological battle. Harry sees Sirius get killed and is once more plunged into anger and depression, which the audience sympathises with, since Harry is the hero and protagonist. The external battle also comes to a head in this final scene, as the Order shows up at the DoM, and Dumbledore fights Voldemort. This seals the Department of Mysteris scene as the climax, and allows us to proceed with the wrapping up scenes of the movie.

Cheers to whoever read all this...

nhut

October 10th, 2003, 7:31 am

And now, more rambling movie thoughts from nhut…

One story arc that IS resolved in OotP, however, is that everybody believes Voldy is now back, and trusts Harry. The fact that Harry is very isolated, with much of the magical world against him needs to come out.

I would end the movie with Fudge's speech to the wizard press. He could announce Dumbledore's reinstatement as the chief warlock of whateveritwas (not in the book, but I guess it's a given). I'd want him to be more apologetic once he's realised his mistake than he was in the book, where he was still the bumbling politician he always was. Perhaps also have Fudge call upon Dumbledore so he could do one of his motivational speeches. They would go over the victory (capture of the death eaters), outline hardships to come, etc. This would be intercut with shots of the Hogwarts students leaving.

Far from "nothing really happening" what needs to come out is that there IS a victory for now, but just for now. A bit like the end of The Two Towers.

On another note, I think it'd be a good idea to sort of merge the Umbridge/Ministry Hogwarts interference and the Voldemort plots. I think Umbridge should be Voldemort's puppet to get what he wants done at Hogwarts. Lucius Malfoy could pay Umbridge a few visits at Hogwarts, and suggest, under Voldy's instructions, to find a way to remove Hagrid and McGonagall. Umbdidge of course, being power crazy and not particularly intelligent, goes along with his ideas.

It's implied in the books that Lucius and Umbridge know each other well, (she told Snape that Lucius spoke highly of him), so why not build on this? "Joining the dots" of the seemingly unrelated subplots makes for a more coherent story.

Another place I'd like to put Lucius is St Mungos. It could be him who delivers the Devil's Snare to Bode, the audience would see him hand the plant to a nurse, but Harry and co would see him after he'd handed in the plant. Malfoy could make some scathing comment that implies that he already knows that Mr Weasley has been attacked, making everybody immediately suspicious.

I’d also never have Hermione go skiing for the holidays; this wastes time with her needing to be introduced again. She would go to St Mungo and catch a glimpse of the Devil’s Snare, which she might think looks dubious, but wouldn’t say anything. If Neville the Herbology wizz can walk past it in the ward and not worry about it, Hermione probably wouldn’t either. (Side note: **** Columbus for showing Neville to be an idiot in CoS in his best subject…)

I'd also like to show the escape from Azkaban, which is potentially a great scene. The Ministry would have probably have placed human guards there, knowing that the Dementors could turn against them, even if they don’t want to admit it. Wormtail and Lucius could orchestrate the attack (where was Wormtail in the book? seems like a good place to insert him...), the Dementors could turn on the ministry guards, and do that thing they do to them. :) It could be a good time to show what the imprisoned death eaters think of Wormtail after all these years... ;)

The Death Eaters fly away on broomsticks, leaving the carnage in their wake, as well as a couple of worse-than-dead Ministry guards. (Can’t just apparate or use a portkey to get away, that’s not dramatic enough :)) There wouldn’t be the issue of being seen, as JK Rowling stated that Azkaban was in a very isolated place, and it’s the dead of night, anyway.

And I (still) think Grawp should be in it, even if the only time you see him is the before they depart for the MoM. I’ve said it before, but I like repeating myself: seeing a giant fight twenty centaurs or so would be an awesome scene.

nhut out.

Nia

October 31st, 2003, 10:29 pm

1. How would you treat the book's lack of a clear plot? What would you make the primary plot or plots?

I don’t think the book lacks a clear plot, only that it is deeper and more psychological than the other books. OoP will, IMO, make a wonderfully intense and gripping film IF Kloves will put his mind to writing a great script. I believe it is in him. I really don’t think the problem in the first two films was Kloves as much as it was Columbus’ lack of true artistry. OoP will have to focus on the way the MoM practically is opening the door for Voldemort—this will include, of course, Umbridge’s takeover of Hogwarts. Harry’s dreams can be woven in and out of this along with the ongoing efforts of the Order of the Phoenix to thwart Voldemort’s plans.

2. Which subplots/sideplots would stay? Which would be cut?

Harry and Cho must stay as a relief from all the heavy psychological stuff, and Harry’s angst is important too. I would think his shutting himself in Buckbeak’s room could be conveyed very powerfully on screen.

3. What techniques would you use to show Harry's emotions? (ie would you rely the actor's acting ability, would you use VO's, would you add flashbacks or additional dreams, etc.)

I am such a fan of Cuaron’s because he understands the subtleties of using color and lighting to convey emotions. I think, under a proper director, Daniel Radcliffe is capable of giving us a convincing performance. But even the best actor would need the aid of cutaways to the dreams and the deft pacing of a very talented director to pull things off.
You’ve given us a lot to think about.

Cheers,
Nia

daniel4hp

October 31st, 2003, 10:43 pm

I have a 4 day weekend coming up, and I'm planning to reread OotP then, with an aim towards starting writing my version of the script. I'll see then whether I can put my principles into practice...

NANLOVE

November 11th, 2003, 8:38 pm

I have a 4 day weekend coming up, and I'm planning to reread OotP then, with an aim towards starting writing my version of the script. I'll see then whether I can put my principles into practice...

Daniel:
I noticed some flirting from Luna to Ron, like when she wishes him good luck on his first quidich game, she never could keep her eyes off him when they first met, and she is the only one who laughs at his jokes... why not play with that? After all: the movies hint a future romance between Ron and Hermione and clearly Ron was jealous from Victor on GOF, why not revert that on OOtP? make Hermione be jealous from Luna, after all the building relationship of Ron-Hermione was hardly on room temperature on OOtP compared to GOF. That would not contradict the storyline of the books.

I don't think the eye of the snake scene should be played on the snakes POV: people could get motion sickness, consider this: the book describes: "his body was long and flexible" how is that going to be translated? tricky scene? yes, but it can be done, anyone who has saw a ilm about mental illness knows this.

daniel4hp

November 11th, 2003, 9:16 pm

I currently rereading the books, taking notes. Its not going all that fast, since I'm doing other things too, and taking notes and thinking about how to adapt things adds time. However, I am about 500 pages through, and once I'm done with it, and have time, I'm going to start writing my own script.

So far, my plan with the plot is to have a surface plot of the Ministry taking over Hogwarts, exemplified by Umbridge. This will carry the story along. Throughout this there will be referenes to Harry's connection to Voldemort. Then, at the end, when Harry is lured to the Department of Mysteries, the audience will (hopefully) see that the Voldemort plot is at the center of the story, remembering all the clues that have been scattered throughout the story.

Since these two elements are both important (the Ministry plot in that it carries the story along, and the Voldemort one since its the real plot and must be played up enough throughout the story for people to recognize it at the end) I do not know how much room for other things I will have. I hope to be able to include a few other things, but I'm not sure how much I'll be able to do.

I'm also trying to decide how to deal with the clear lack of victory in this story. One idea I had was to uplay the Harry/Dumbledore conflict into an inner conflict for Harry that drives the story along, and that in the climax, this is resolved as Harry realizes why Dumbledore is ignoring him and sees how to rectify the problem. However, this is week to say the best, and having Harry realize why Dumbledore is ignoring him before the scene in Dumbledore's Office would be a clear problem.

However, not having some sort of conflict that is resolved by Harry will present some sort of problem. The two conflicts in the story -- the Ministry one and the Voldemort one -- are both resolved by Dumbledore: the former by Fudge finally realizing Voldemort is back, and the latter by Dumbledore's fight with Voldemort. Not having a plot that is resolved by Harry may give an unresolved feeling to the movie and leave the audience disappointed.

Of course, I could make this a movie about defeat, and regardless of how I try to rectify the problem, to some degree it will be a movie about defeat. And this is not neccessarilly a bad thing -- movies with largely unresolved endings can be fine. However, when the Hero does absolutely nothing towards resolving any conflict, it can leave a very disappointing feeling.

hawk1245

December 3rd, 2003, 5:00 am

No offense to anybody, but OotP is a book that will be INSANLEY EASY to adapt, compared to GoF, anyway. Think of WHY the book is as long as it is...Its becasue it contains many scenes that talk about little detals and inimoprtant (for now0 side-plots. Thes are great in the book, cause they make the world feel real, bt they will be easy to cut out. Just think, if you take all that extra conversation (especially in the first few chapters) out, you have aMUCH smaller story. Now, you still have to take stuff out at this piint, but only as much as the first two films did. No biggie. Trust me, I am a writer.

Tarawyn

December 3rd, 2003, 3:26 pm

daniel4hp

December 3rd, 2003, 8:06 pm

No offense to anybody, but OotP is a book that will be INSANLEY EASY to adapt, compared to GoF, anyway.
Well, the simple truth is that getting a good adaptation of any book takes a lot of thought and effort. If you just want to direct, word-for-word translation of the book on screen, then of course it will be pretty easy. But to get a good adaptation that captures the spirit of the book while adapting it so that it will work well on screen takes a lot of thought and work. We could have a thread much like this one for any of the Harry Potter books, because, when you think about it, to adapt any novel, you have to carefully examine it, find the plot elements you want to stress, decide what will work best on screen, and make any changes you need to to make a good movie. I don't think I'd say that any book is easy to adapt.

Now, compared to Goblet of Fire, Order of the Phoenix is, in some ways, easy. But in other ways, its harder. As has been discussed several times in this thread, this is a book about defeat. This obviously brings up the question of whether to treat it as such or not in a movie, since a movie where everything turns out wrong can be risky and people often leave thinking the ending was "stupid." The points brought up by Tarawyn are also valid -- yes, there are many details, but these details make up the story, and chosing which to keep and which to cut may be difficult. This book may in some ways be easier than GoF, but it still needs to be carefully examined and analyzed to make a good movie.

hawk1245

December 5th, 2003, 5:56 am

One of the problems with OotP though, Hawk, is that all of those details and importance jump up together so that they're really far more than half of the book. What you end up with is some action at the beginning, some action at the end, and almost nothing in the middle - because the middle is progression and little details. You can't get by without the details, though, because the details gradually give you a picture of the story... There's no revelation, only little facts and deduction. It's something I didn't really like about the book and don't think will work well in a movie. Whoever makes it will have to alter the action so that things make sense (the deduction) without all of those details. It's more like rewriting it than cutting.
You don't understand what I mean. We as people of whom enjoy books and pay attention to EVRY detail and take it all in, would fully remeber these details when they come in handy. But the dtails in OotP that DONT matter in that peticular movie/book are not going to make i t into tha film. Take PS for example, the whole Snape and James rivalry was cut from that movie. Why? It dosn't really matter ye, but it WILL be in PoA, where it does matter. How many people who didn't read the books would remebr small lines like "they didn't like eachother"? My family though that Mrs Weasley and Ginny and Fred and George were NEW charactors in CoS. They are mention briefly in PS, but they don't sink in. See what I mean. I, as a book lover, would love for these to be in the movie, but they won't. I know you will say, "But they ARE important". Well, they are to us book readers, but not to the modern, short attention spaned, movie-goer (yet, anyway). I think all the important hints will be sacrificed if they aren't relevant yet. How much you bet that Dumbledor's line in GoF about the room of need is NOT in GoF? It won't be, cause nobody will remebr it from that movie when seeing OotP! They will just say "h cool, just what we need!" and be done with it. Less realistic, yes, but thats how Hollywood and the film-buissnes work.

daniel4hp

December 5th, 2003, 9:23 pm

I see what you're saying, Hawk, and I think you make valid points. Some of that stuff will just be forgotten, so, as you say, what's the point of introducing it?

However, some other stuff is important to keep in for character development purposes. Its not technically neccessary for the story, but to make a good screenplay you need to develop the characters, and this can be done through things such as Snape's Worst Memory, Christmas in the Closed Ward, Grawp, etc. Some of these things will be cut, some will stay, but if all the "little details" end up on the cutting room floor, we'll be left with a pretty bland movie.

So, to make an acceptable adaptation of the book, it wouldn't be that hard. You can go through the book, crossing out the sections that don't relate to the plot, then go through again, condensing and combining scenes, reworking a few things, etc. You then take what's left and translate it to screenplay format. That would get you with a decent script that would work, similar to what we have for the first two movies.

But, this wouldn't be a good script. To make a good script of this book, you have to make difficult decisions of where to sacrafice actual plot to play up less important character developments or other little details. You have to look at the plot and decide where you want to place the stress, then write it accordingly. You have to carefully think about what impact each scene will have on the audience and take that into consideration when writing. You have to decide what things might be confusing for the audience, and find a way to change those.

This last thing could be difficult. It involves looking at more than just individual sequences. You have to look at the entire plot to decide how the audience will be impacted by it if you go with a literal translation of it to screen, and how you could change it to get a better effect. You have to be careful to make absolutely certain that in this fairly complicated book, the audience stays on track through the book's subplots and doesn't get lost at the end.

Because the book has an unconventional plot, you also have to examine it to decide to what degree you want to keep it how it is and to what degree you want to change it to make it more conventional. The more traditional approach may work better in a film, which is more fast-paced than a book and where if the audience gets lost, they can't back up a few pages. You need to ensure that whatever method you choose -- keeping the book's method or making it more conventional -- works well on screen and that, most importantly, the audience doesn't get lost. It is essential that everything comes together at the end.

Doing this sort of adaptation will be far from easy, because it involves more than just taking the book, making some cuts, and turning it into a movie. It involves analyzing the book for strengths and weaknesses, thinking about it, and coming up with a version that will work well on screen, maintaining the book's full spirit while being understandable for the audience. This isn't easy.

Ertai

December 7th, 2003, 10:34 pm

Shortly after I finished OOTP I began work on my own screenplay. It went pretty well for about two months but I had to come to England, which meant leaving my computer and book behind, so I never finished.

I took the approach of doing the story in two seperate films. This was before it was sure that Warner Bros. wanted only one film, and since I was writing all this for myself anyway, I don't really care what they are going to do for the actual film. I do believe the best place to end the first part would be when Mr. Weasley is attacked. In fact, I believe the chapter ends with Prof. McGonagall saying "We're going to see the headmaster." I thought that would make a good cliffhanger for the two parts. I also thought the whole Haggrid's story section could be moved to the second part (after the hospital scene), that way it would carry the suspense and mystery as to his absence.

I chose to start the movie with that dream sequence Harry has over the department of Mysteries, where he's walking down the hallway. These dreams actually aren't very fleshed out in the book, but I sort of made them the diveders in my screenplay. I thought it worked rather well.

I didn't do much cutting in terms of plot cause I was pretty sure it could all fit into two films. I do believe I intended to cut down GAWP a little.

My screenplay is back in America, and while I don't think I'll post it on here if you would like a copy of what I've written (up to just after the first Hogsemeade visit) and I can get it, I'll email it to you. Just send me an email at xchrisvx@hotmail.com

tyro

April 15th, 2004, 11:34 am

okay, so I recently started screenplay writing as a hobby, it's quite fun actually. And when I started thinking about my dissapointment of the second film [and kinda the first as well] I realised it wasn't the director's fault but the screenplay writer's fault.

You see, in COS the main probelm was it wasn't an adaptation, rather just an assortment of scenes taken directly from the book. Purists will be joyous that they got their favourite scenes from the book, but this is the reason the films stink so much. I believe that for an adaptation of HP to be successfull, it must look at the underlying themes and not just slap whichever chapters they can fit into 2 and half hours of film.

From what I've seen of the POA trailers, the 3rd film seems to be looking good.

The 4th is anybody's guess, I imagine a script was penned ages ago.

But OOTP is interesting. I've recently started writing a screenplay for it and those who say it requires two films are, quite simply, wrong. Uhu.

You see in the book it's an age before they arrive at Hogwarts, in the screenplay they should arrive by about page 20-25. How can you squeeze Dudley Demented, the Advance Guard, The Hearing and The House of Black in to 25 pages? How can you sum up Dumbledore's conversation with Harry at the end into 3 pages maximum?

Easy. You just take the underlying themes. I've got a good idea what they are, but what about you guys?

Do you like the first 2 screenplays? And how would you adapt OOTP, what are your underlying themes?

ginnybatbogeysyou

April 15th, 2004, 1:28 pm

Do you like the first 2 screenplays?
No. I found the movies to 'stuffed'. It seems like Steven Kloves wanted to put as much of the books in as possible, something that is completely understandable, but that made the movie a bit too long. I understand why Kloves did it: too make everybody really experience the books through a film. But that just doesn't work.

And how would you adapt OOTP, what are your underlying themes?
I would include the following themes:
* Harry's anger at the world around him
* The fact that most people consider Harry a fruitcake
* The influence of Umbridge
* Harry's dreams
* The prophecy
*The OWLs

I do this not having a copy of OotP with me at the moment, but these are the most important parts of the book. These are the things that must be included. Of course, there should be 'minor events' to get the story going (like Dudley losing it), but the themes are the most important.

Mrs Padfoot

April 15th, 2004, 2:11 pm

The thind with the first film was that they put a little bit of all of it in, but didn't really develop any of the sideplots. For example they squeezed the Norbert bit in, but only some of it was there so people who hadn't read the books were confused. I think if they were going to cut some of the Norbert storyline, they should have cut all of it to give room for the development of something else.

I would have just picked the main threads and followed those in more depths, rather than crammed most of it in and rushed each bit.

Magi

April 15th, 2004, 3:27 pm

Do you like the first 2 screenplays?

They were alright. Not really good, but not too bad, either.

And how would you adapt OOTP, what are your underlying themes?

* Harry's angst/PTSD.
* Ministry oppression at Hogwarts.
* Student rebellion at Hogwarts, especially the DA.
* Harry's dreams (specially important).
* Struggling with Occlumency and its importance (specially important).
* The rescue mission to the DoM.
* Dumbledore's explanation.

Sherlock Holmes

April 15th, 2004, 4:15 pm

There's a couple of script threads already:

PoA Script (http://www.cosforums.com/showthread.php?t=4885)
GoF Script (http://www.cosforums.com/showthread.php?t=9822)
OotP Script (http://www.cosforums.com/showthread.php?t=18510)

This thread is mostly about the script for OotP, so I think I'll merge it with the pre-existing OotP script thread.

tyro

April 16th, 2004, 3:38 pm

aaah, so there was another thread.

anyhoo, how many people are/have actually doing their own screenplays? It would be cool to read other peoples.

There's a lot of cool things being said in this thread, not just "I want that person to play her" "yeah! me too!"

I've tried to go over the chapters and take out the underlying theme for each, then introduce them in new ways. My main theme so far is the Ministry's control over Hogwarts, I feel Voldermort is more a theme that will be running throughout the entire series, and while he may not be a major theme in my screenplay, what's happening (re:The Minsitry's denial and control over Hogwarts) is a symbol of Voldermort's power to split in the enemy. Think of it like Saruman in The Two Towers, you didn't really see him much, but his devilry affected much of what happened in the film.

As for character devlopment, this is where I get stuck. Obviously they're growiing up, Harry's mad (wasn't that the name of a CITV show one time with a talking parrot?) and other stuff.

Anyway, I see Ertai has described his/her screenplay, so I'm gonna follow suit.

It's one film, I'm aiming for around 140 pages (roughly equal to 140 mins).
the beginning
Harry's incident with the Dementor's is slightly changed in order to remove the hearing later on. But I heard that the Dementors in POA actaully fly, so I've livened up Harry's escape with the Advance Guard a bit.
This also gets rid of the ministry of magic chapter, and the time spent at Sirius' House is vastly reduced.
the middle
right from the word go things start to be changed by Umbridge, I put in a sequence to emphasise Harry's frustration at his mounting work, and then one by one his release valves get taken away by Umbridge.
I used Hagrids tale as an engine to show the animal issue is.
I really wanted this feeling that Harry is just constantly being beaten down.
Until:the article is published [this is where i am now], the tide turns:now people repsect Harry and laugh at the Ministry, I'm going to use Neville's outburst of restrained anger towards Malfoy (y'know - when he imitates St.Mungo patients) as a launchpad for the start of the DA.
Life becomes good for Harry, the tables turn. It doesn't last long, the Voldermort theme comes back into play with the snake attack.
the end
More time at the MoM, the whole prophecy thing, but some mystery still remains.
I've actually written the end already, I overlapped Dumbledore's speech (which is shortened drastically) with closing shots of Harry at Hogwarts.
My underlying theme at the end is Harry is alone. I've seen people write "I really want to see harry shout and trash D's office", why? We know Harry will be mad, he;s hardly gonna be jumping for joy, we don't need to show that. what we do need to show is how he has changed, his friends can;t comfort him anymore, he is now carrying a massive burden all on his own - he is on his own.

so, to summarise
Underlying themes:
1.)Ministry control
2.)Harry's mystery with the dreams ---> Harry being alone

Subplots:
1.)DA
2.)Animal uprise
3.)Weasley's exit.

gryffinheart

April 17th, 2004, 9:39 am

Harry has to be the hero of the story -- the one we simpathise with -- yet he is not the one who puts Voldemort off. This is where what I said above becomes, once again, important.
Well after Dumbledore's fight with Voldemort there's the possession and Harry wins in that, he drives Voldemort away. That's how Harry wins, you can show Voldemort suffering after the posession, Harry hurting him with his emotions.

Polychrome

April 17th, 2004, 11:45 am

I would actually say that Order of the Phoenix, and the series as a whole, NEEDS the ministry conspiracies to function. This story is what is tying the entire series together. Umbridge does contribute greatly to this, but she can't function without it either.

Lupin_Lady

April 17th, 2004, 12:20 pm

Mainly they will cut back on 3 things

1. Harry + Cho
2. The story of Grawp
3. Quidditch... :(

It always happens, take out Quiddith when the movie gets too long...

Pazarius

April 18th, 2004, 2:19 am

I find it strange that a lot of people consider the whole MoM/Umbridge situation to be a sub-plot. If you ask me it is the main plot of the book, and Voldemort is surprisingly relegated to an (albeit essential) subplot for OotP.

The MoM/U plot is largely self contained within OotP, and takes centre stage for most of the book. The key issue (fudge's refusal to accept that Voldemort had returned) is resolved at the end of the book. The Voldemort plotline however doesn't advance very much. We learn some interesting new information, and a few death eaters are locked up, but the situation regarding Voldemort is about the same as the start of the book: Voldemort is alive and plotting his return to power somewhere.

Some would argue that Harry's dreams and the confrontation in the MoM are the most important things going on in OotP, and therefore the continuation of the Voldemort story is the main plotline of the book. However the MoM confrontation is also a crucial part of the MoM/Umbridge plotline, as it is the event that ends Fudge's denial of the truth.

I also don't think Dumbledore is responsible for making Fudge see sense. Harry is, unintentionally. Harry's actions forced Voldemort to make an appearance, leading to Fudge seeing him with his own eyes. After that, Fudge can't deny the truth, even to himself, any longer. Dumbledore's comments would have been met with nothing but hostility had he uttered them to Fudge the day before. In a way, Harry IS the hero of the book, as he forces Voldemort to reveal himself, allowing the whole wizarding world to join together to defeat the Dark Lord. Padfoot's death is a small loss when compared to the importance of this victory over small-minded bureaucracy.

The political intrigue in OotP was a welcome change if you ask me. It added a whole new element to the books, as opposed to just being 'Harry vs. Voldemort V'. I'd hate to see it toned down in the film.

My comments on an OotP Screenplay:

-The Weasley twins exit from Hogwarts must be included! Even if they cut the joke shop sub-plot, it could still be included as a short scene giving an example of how the students are rebelling against Umbridge.

-Harry's trial can't really be cut, as it introduces the MoM building.

-SPEW could possibly be cut barring some unforeseen importance in later books. I doubt whether it's ever going to achieve anything anyway.

-Grawp and the Centaurs should/could be cut, barring some unforeseen importance later on. I was disappointed with Umbridge's downfall anyway; I was hoping all through the entire book that Harry and friends would give HER a lesson in magic... :)

-Romantic sub-plots should be kept to a minimum. It's not like anything ground-breaking happens anyway (e.g. Hermione going out on a date with Ron...).

tyro

April 18th, 2004, 10:18 am

When do you think Kloves will pen a script anyway? Do you think he'll do GoF/OotP back to back with Rowling?

Pazarius - re:the cutting of the hearing chapter, we still get to see the MoM when the DA members go there at the end, it'll be even more creepy anyway.

I agree with you on the other things though.

la_ginny

April 19th, 2004, 6:29 am

How would you treat the book's lack of a clear plot? What would you make the primary plot or plots?
Well, I see the two biggest themes as the Voldemort's secret plan/seeking the prophecy, and Ministry denial/Control of Hogwarts via Umbridge. Both are equally important, and in fact are intricately interwoven. The entire theme of not being able to trust adults, I think, will come to light pretty clearly, through the Ministry plot and also through Harry's frustration with the Order.

With the big "revelation" of the prophecy at the end, I think the screenwriters have to emphasize throughout the film that Voldemort is seeking this secret weapon. Otherwise the prophecy revelation could be anticlimactic.

Which subplots/sideplots would stay? Which would be cut?
You've got to keep the Cho subplot. I think the Ron-and-Hermione-as-prefects plot will be subdued. And the Ron as keeper subplot could probably be cut, though it wouldn't leave any Quidditch scenes. But with the upcoming PoA expected to have minimal Quidditch scenes, I think we'll be seeing fewer of those as the movies progress. GoF won't have any, so it wouldn't unreasonable for OotP to not have them.

What techniques would you use to show Harry's emotions? (ie would you rely the actor's acting ability, would you use VO's, would you add flashbacks or additional dreams, etc.)
I've always imagined the really scary flashbacks and dreams to be dark and sudden, with Harry in view, and then quick flashes of his nightmares or generally scary things with loud sound effects. Sorry, I'm not much of a screenwriter.

Do you have vivid ideas on how certain scenes should be shown? If so, feel free to share your ideas with us.
The Fred and George leaving Hogwarts scene MUST be shown! It's great comic relief, and it's such a visually interesting scene. The whole school gathered around, with Umbridge in the center, fuming. Accio'd brooms come crashing through the castle (maybe even a shot from the broom's POV!), and then Fred and George hovering over the students as they make their farewell. Classic.

tyro

April 25th, 2004, 4:57 pm

hey guys
I am *so* close to fiinishing my OOTP script, It's 120 pages at the mo, which is cool. But i am having problems with the department of mysteries thing.

I tried writing it as in the book, with all the kids running round and stuff, but it just doens't work, it was one of my least favourite parts of the book.
But I am having major trouble using a different means to the same end.

how would you guys do it?

tyro

May 1st, 2004, 5:45 pm

wooohoo! I've finally finished my Ootp script, runs in at 140 pages, but is a really rough cut. I need to make a few alterations, but there! It CAN be done in 2 and half hours!

email me at thewilverine@hotmail.com if you wanna read it

soccergoddess24

May 17th, 2004, 8:29 pm

HOW CAN GoF BE A 2.5 HOUR FILM I ASK YOU? THAT WONT WORK...AT ALL!!!! IT HAS TO BE AT [B][I][U]LEAST 3 HOURS!!! THATS CRAZY!!! STUPID WB!!! BAHHHH!!! i actually heard somewhere else that WB was considering an intermimssion type thing....but i have NEVER heard anything on this 2.5 hour ****!!!

daniel4hp

May 18th, 2004, 2:12 am

As has been proven with Tryo's script (which I've read and, I can say, does a very good job of trimming the book down), it actually can be done in 2:30 or less. It's just a matter of how much you're willing to cut. However, remember that just because you cut a lot doesn't mean that it won't be the same story or that the spirit of the book will be lost.

As long as the screenwriter is careful in what he decides to keep and cut and makes good decisiions on what to condense, what to alter, and what to keep, there's no reason that it can't be done. Certainly OotP will be a tighter movie than the first two (fewer side- and subplots), but as long as you're willing to accept a somewhat more liberal adaptation, there's no reason it can't be done.

tyro

May 18th, 2004, 8:16 pm

Cheer's Dan! I'm loving the compliments! (Though you typo'd my name)

And soccergoddess24 stop writing in caps, IT'S REALLY REALLY ANNOYING AND MAKES YOU LOOK EVEN MORE STUPID IF YOU USE LOADS OF EXCLAMATION MARKS!!!!!!! !!! !!!!!! AND SOUNDS!!! GRRRRRRRRR IT CAN BE DONE IN 2 AND HALF HOURS!!!!!!!

I will stop now.

LilyEvans

June 14th, 2004, 6:12 pm

DON'T STOP NOW!!!!!!!!!!1111!!!!!!!ONE! Sorry, couldn't resist. SNigger.

I reckon Ootp could be done in maybe 3 hours, but 2 and a half migh tbe pushing it. It depends I guess... *wanders off to read ootp screenplay*

HarryPotttter

June 14th, 2004, 7:16 pm

I think Grawp is a very important character and needs to be kept. Perhaps his various scenes in the book could be cut down into just one scene in the movie.

HarryPotttter

June 14th, 2004, 7:55 pm

This is my vision of roughly how the beginning of an OotP would look. NB This material is Copyright Paul Wallis 2004 All Rights Reserved. If anyone rips me off then I promise you I'll do absolutely everything within my power to make the consequences as awful as possible (Madam Ponce; Quidditch Through the Ages). Got that? OK...

1. MISTS. Show silvery logo and title. We fly around through the mists until we come to HARRY POTTER. He is in a misty room with many DOORS and CANDLES. He left and right; wondering which one to choose. He chooses
one and goes through to a LONG CORRIDOR; he runs down it and finds
another door. His hand reaches out towards it...it is about to touch the handle. There is a loud bang

2. MAGNOLIA CRESCENT; THE PLAY-PARK. Harry wakes up; lying on a bench; he dosed off in the hot summer weather. He leans up and looks around for the source of the bang that woke him. He sees his cousin; DUDLEY DURSLEY saying goodbye to his friends. He begins to walk towards Harry. Harry gets up.

HARRY
What's that you've got there?

DUDLEY
Nothin'

Harry jumps forward and grabs it off him.

DUDLEY
Hey!
It is a BOTTLE OF BEER.
HARRY
Ooh, I think Uncle Vernon'll be very pleased to see this!

DUDLEY
No! Please don't!

HARRY
OK, I won't.

He begins to climb up the CLIMBING FRAME; whilst shaking the bottle as hard as he can. Dudley follows; trying to snatch it back off him. Harry replies by opening the bottle and let it spray everywhere. It turns it upside down; allowing the frothy liquid to flow down the climbing frame's steely structure. Suddenly, it all turns to ice. Harry looks behind him. Two DEMENTORS swoop down; knocking them both off the climbing frame onto the ground. Harry scrambles to his feet.

HARRY (Shouting)
Expecto Patronum!

A silvery stag erupts out of his wand. It jumps into the air; projecting a huge white dome that makes the Dementors turn and fly off. Harry is now sweating and panting.

Annotation of this Extract

I see OotP as being a bit like a Bond movie in many ways. I see Harry's encounter with the Dementors as being the first action sequence in a Bond film; which is always short; but happens almost immediately after the opening credits.

More coming soon!

hawk1245

June 17th, 2004, 7:37 pm

This is going to be long, but here is the OOTP script I have been working on. The key to writing one is not being afraid to shift exposition and change or cut things. I say most of the exposition ahead of time, instead of later. Here is what I have done so far:

Warner Brothers Log fades to a dark and blue-lit corridor. We slowly travel down the corridor, until we see a door at the end. A hand comes from off-screen and reaches toward the handle. But then we…

CUT TO:
A fifteen-year-old boy suddenly wakes up. He is lying in a flower bead in front of #4 Privet Drive. The boy is HARRY POTTER. A large POP is heard. A large man storms out the front door, looking furious.

MAN:
“Well boy! What are you doing now? What was that ruddy noise all about?”

HARRY:
“I don’t know Uncle Vernon! Okay? I didn’t do it!”

VERNON:
“I don’t know how you expect me to believe a word that comes out of your scrawny mouth! First the letters raining inside our house, then that absurd flying car, and my own sister inflating like bloody balloon! And what are you doing in my Begonia patch?”

HARRY (sarcastically):
“Ya know what? I think I am going to go on a walk, okay? That is IF I have your permission?”

VERNON:
“Fine! Just go and get out of my site! Dudley will be back from his friend’s house soon. At least ONE person in this house behaves properly!”

HARRY:
“Whatever, Uncle.”

HARRY then gets out of the flowerbed and walks down the street, until we hear voices from off screen.

MALE VOICE #1:
“And then Evans started crying!”

MALE VOICE #2:
“Everyone cries after coming across…hey guys, why don’t we come up with a nick name for me? How a about ‘The Big D’? That’s sound cool!”

The boy then walk around the corner, and we see that one of them is DUDLEY DURSLEY. His cronies flank him.

DUDLEY:
“What are YOU doing here?”

HARRY:
“So! The Big D! Wow! That’s pretty good, but I still prefer Wittle Diddykins myself!”

Everyone chuckles except DUDLEY.

DUDLEY:
“Shut up!”

HARRY:
“Are you and your tough friends going around and picking on the first years again? Always picking on the ones weaker than you, huh? Thought I have to agree, that is giving yourself a bit of a challenge. Hard to find weaker than you…”

DUDLEY:
“Shut up, I said! I’m not the one who cries every night because of some prat that died!”

HARRY’S frown is wiped from his face.

HARRY:
“Be quiet.”

DUDLEY:
“Oh look guys, I’ve hit a nerve, haven’t I? Who is the ‘Cedric’ guy anyway? Considering how you are, I wouldn’t be surprised if it was your boyfriend…”

All of the sudden sparks blast from HARRY’s jacket pocket, scaring all of Dudley’s buddies
off. As they run away, HARRY pulls out his wand and pins DUDLEY against the fence of a house, pointing his wand between DUDLEY’S eyebrows.

HARRY:
“Say you’re sorry!”

DUDLEY:
“You can’t use magic out side of that sorority that you live in!”

HARRY:
“As far as you know, I could have gotten special permission to use in the case of an…emergency.”

DUDLEY struggles with his feat, trying to run, but then look down to find that his feet are frozen to the ground. Both his and HARRY’S breaths become visible. Harry looks behind him, knowing what he is about to see.

CUT TO:
A DEMENTOR of Azkaban, glides out of the air, and is followed by another of it’s kind.
DUDLEY begins to cry, his face begins to stretch in an odd blur. DUDLEY screams. The lights on the street go out, causing almost all visibility to be lost.

DUDLEY continues to scream loudly.

HARRY:
“Shut up Dud!”

But he doesn’t listen.

HARRY:
“Lumos Moderato!”

A small light appears on the tip of HARRY’S wand, illuminating the two ghastly Dementors closing in on him and DUDLEY. HARRY raises his wand closes his eyes, and takes a deep breath.

HARRY:
“Expecto Patronum!”

A bright light, accompanied by a silver stag, ward the DEMEMNTORS off. As they leave, HARRY runs over to his cousin, to see his condition, then there is a deafening, then all of the sudden, a woman appears from the mist.

WOMAN:
“Mr. Potter! Are you okay?”

HARRY looks stunned and confused.

HARRY:
“Yes, I’m fine. Who are you, if you don’t mind me…”

WOMAN:
“Arabella Figg’s the name. Don’t you remember me?”

HARRY shakes his head ‘no’.

MR’S FIGG:
“Oh dear! This fool of a boy here’s out cold, help we carry his back to your house.”

HARRY takes one of DUDLEY’S arms, and MR.S FIGG takes the other, and they begin carrying him back to #4.

HARRY:
“Excuse me Ma’am, but why are there Dementors in Surrey?”

MR.S FIGG:
“No need to be so polite about it sonny. I sure wasn’t when I learned via Dumbledore that the rumors were true.”

HARRY:
“About Volde…Oh, I mean ‘You-Know-Who’, returning to power?”

MRS. FIGG:
“Well, that and that he is gathering his armies together again, including The Dementors.”

HARRY:
“What? The Dementors left Azkaban?”

MRS. FIGG:
“Yep! They abandoned the place. Well, actually, only a few have left, but more are sure to follow. Minister Fudge is denying it of course. Eventually, if they don’t so something, all of them, which totals to about 8’000 strong, will be at You-Know-Who’s command again, you can only imagine!”

HARRY:
“When is Fudge going to lighten up? I mean, people, LOTS of people’s lives are a stake! Why is he acting like such a git?”

MRS. FIGG:
“Nobody knows for SURE except Fudge himself. But I personally, don’t quote me, think that he is afraid of losing his job to Dumbledore.”

HARRY:
“Well, if Voldemort takes over Britain than it is going to make it even harder to keep his job!”

MR’S FIGG:
“Don’t say his name! But, yeah, you are right. Especially since Dumbledore has always said that he has no interest in the Minister job, he even rejected the opportunity to do it once! So now that Fudge has gone all bonkers, it’s not long before the Ministry tries to take control of Hogwarts away from Dumbledore too.”

HARRY:
“What?”

MRS. FIGG:
“Oh don’t worry yet, he will still be there when you return this year. Fudge won’t sack him immediately; he will break him in and humiliate him, slowly. Maybe this year, maybe next, but eventually Fudge is going to try and take over Hogwarts.”

HARRY (sarcastically):
“And he’s supposed to be one of the good guys.”

MRS. FIGG:
“You will find that there are very few ‘good guys’ around now that You-Know-Who- is back. But don’t worry Dear; I am one of them. Ah! Here’s your house!”

MRS. FIGG knocks on the door of The Dursley’s house. PETUNIA answers.

PETUNIA:
“DIDDYKINS! What’s wrong with him?”

MRS. FIGG:
“He’ll’’ be fine Mrs. Dursley, don’t worry!”

PETUNIA:
“Mrs. Figg? What are you doing here, and what have you done to my son?”

At this moment, UNCLE VERNON steps into the doorway.

VERNON:
“Who did this? Harry Potter what have you done now?”

HARRY:
“Relax! Will you, he is unconscious! He was attacked by a dementor!”

VERNON:
“What the ruddy dung is a ‘demeanor’?”
PETUNIA:
“They are the guards of the wizard prison, Azkaban.”

Every one stares at her in complete shock.

VERNON:
“Excuse me, Petunia?”

HARRY:
“How did you know that?”

VERNON:
“Why is it important? I don’t want you in this house anymore Potter! Now you have hurt my son, now get out! GET OUT!”

Then an owl swoops into the room and lands on Harry head, it has an envelope attached to its leg. Harry opens it.

VERNON:
“Well, what’s it say?”

HARRY begins to tremble.

HARRY:
“It…It says that I…That I have been expelled from Hogwarts for using magic, effective immediately.”

VERNON:
“Well! Good for you! Now get out of my house now! Out!”

Then another own swoops into the house, but this time lands near PETUNIA. It is a red Envelope, a HOWLER.

PETUNIA:
“Vernon! It’s addressed to me!”

VERNON:
“Don’t open it!”

HARRY covers his ears.

HARRY:
“You aren’t going to have to!”

The letter then explodes, and a loud and harsh voice comes out of it.

VOICE:
“Remember my last, Petunia!”

There is a pause.

PETUNIA:
“He can’t leave here, he has to stay Vernon.”

VERNON:
“What but…”

PETUNIA:
“We can’t let him go! Not until there is some of…HIS kind to accompany him.”

HARRY:
“What’s going on? Have you been in touch with wizards?”

MRS. FIGG:
“No time Harry, you have some company at the door!”

MRS. FIGG then proceeds to open the door, and standing behind it were two people that HARRY recognized: REMUS LUPIN and ALASTOR MOODY.

LUPIN:
“Hello Harry! Nice to see you again!”

HARRY:
“You too sir. And hello Professor Moody!”

MOODY:
“Hello to you too Potter. Just call me Mr. Moody, I didn’t get much of a chance to earn you calling me ‘professor’, eh?”

UNCLE VERNON steps forward.

VERNON:
“Oh look! Here’s your ride to Oz! Now go! Go now!”

HARRY:
“Not until Aunt Petunia answers me! Have you been in touch with wiz…?”

LUPIN:
“Look Harry, we don’t have time! Dumbledore sent an owl to the Ministry of Magic to try to reverse your expulsion, but they…”

HARRY:
“Now until she tells me if…”

MRS. FIGG:
“Listen Harry, you don’t have time!”

MOODY:
“We will explain the rest on the way!”

LUPIN:
“We have brooms!”

HARRY hesitates, but then follows them out the front door. On the lawn, there sit three ordinary looking brooms.

MOODY:
“We enchanted muggle department store ones to better disguise them!”

HARRY:
“How are we doing to be able to leave unseen?”

LUPIN:
“I will distract the street, and you guys will fly high above the clouds…”

MOODY:
“But Remus! I think we should perform an invisibility charm on them for extra protection…”

LUPIN:
“Alastor my friend, I assure you that we will get to headquarters with not so much as a buttock missing.”

MOODY:
“Just cause you taught Defense Against the Dark Arts too, doesn’t mean you have more experience in this kind of situation than I!”

LUPIN:
“Alastor, we are doing it this way, take it or leave it!”

There is a pause, and Moody, finally backs down.

LUPIN:
“Now, I will perform a lightning charm, when I do that, I want each of you to kick off from the ground and bolt towards the sky, got it?”

Everyone nods.

LUPIN:
“One…Two…Three! Lumoci Couldios!”

Three bolts of lightning go off, along with thunderclaps, at three different focal points.

LUPIN:
“NOW!”

All of them bolt towards the clouds, rising above them in about five seconds, revealing a beautiful waxing moon.

HARRY:
“Oh! Professor! Are you Okay…?”

LUPIN:
“Don’t worry Harry! I recovered two days ago, I now have a healthy supply of Wolfsbane potion in my storage compartment.”

HARRY:
“Oh! Good. Where are we going anyway?”

LUPIN:
“Grimmauld Place, it is where Sirius grew up. The House of Black is hidden from muggle eyes by special spells, sort of like how the knight bus is able to squeeze through tight spots. He volunteered the house to be the headquarters of The Order of the Phoenix.”

HARRY:
“The order of the…?”

LUPIN:
“Oh of course! Dumbledore never told you about The Order did he? Well, it’s the group that was formed to fight against Voldemort and his supporters. It has been broken up into pieces for years, but what re-formed at the end of last year after his…his return.”

HARRY:
“I bet I can guess most of the people in it.”

LUPIN:
“Not all though. There are some you have never met. Like Naphorenda Tonks, she is a very gifted witch who has the power to change shapes. Then there’s Mundungus Fletcher, who gets into lots of trouble for black market ties. And there’s…Katie Hawksworth…”

HARRY:
“Okay, I get it. These are too many for my head to take. But this is not just a rebellion against the ideals of Voldemort I take it?”

LUPIN:
“Very clever Harry! Well spotted I must say! Yes indeed, the Ministry is not aware of the presence of the newly formed Order. They are now waging an all out war against Dumbledore; all the while the person they SHOULD be waging war against is slowly gaining power. Eventually Fudge will come to his senses, but it might be too late by then. Hence why we started the Order back up again.”

HARRY:
“And about my hearing?”

LUPIN:
“Oh yes! The hearing is tomorrow. You are going to be taken to the Ministry of Magic building in the morning, and you are going to be tried by the Wizengamoot, that’s wizard high court. Dumbledore and Mrs. Figg will both present evidence to support your being reinstated to Hogwarts. Now what spells did you perform exactly?”

HARRY:
“Well, I did a Lumos variant, then a Patronous.”

LUPIN:
“Why did you use a Patronous?”

HARRY:
“I guess Mrs. Figg didn’t tell you, a dementor attacked me and my cousin.”

LUPIN:
“WHAT? I was afraid something like that would happen. Is your cousin alright?”

HARRY:
“I hope not.”

LUPIN:
“Normally I would laugh at a joke like that, but Dementors running amok in Surrey is not something to kid about.”

CUT TO:
The brooms fly downward towards an old and rotting neighborhood. The riders dismount their brooms.

HARRY:
“This doesn’t exactly look like a place where an old wizard family would live.”

LUPIN:
“Just watch.”

LUPIN then gets his wand out.

LUPIN:
“Revealo!”

Out of nowhere, a house pops up in a blur, squeezing the two houses on either side of it out of the way, and then fitting snuggly in the middle.

LUPIN:
“And here we are: the Most Honorable House of Black. Step inside, every one is waiting for you.”

HARRY anxiously runs into the house. MR.S MOLLY WEASLEY is waiting for him there.

MRS. WEASLEY:
“Oh Harry! Wow was your summer dear?”

HARRY:
“Not so good. Yours?”

MRS. WEASLEY pauses for a moment in response to this awkward answer.

MRS. WEASLEY:
“Well, you have a few people waiting for you upstairs.”

CUT TO:
INT-Upstairs of The House of Black

RON WEASLEY and HERMIONE GRANGER are playing a sort of board game on the floor of the house, while SIRIUS BLACK, dressed in a suit like dress robe and tie sits in a chair, watching them with a smile on his face. Then Harry walks in.

SIRIUS:
“Harry! How are you?”

SIRIUS gets up from his chair and gives HARRY a hearty hug. Then RON and HERMIONE get up to greet him as well.

RON:
“How are ya mate?”

HERMIONE:
“It’s great to see you Harry!”

daniel4hp

June 18th, 2004, 4:52 pm

I've begun writing my own script. It's currently a bit over 14 pages long. I've used spoiler tags to cover up questionable content you may wish to choose not to read.

FADE IN:

EXT. LITTLE WHINGING PLAYPARK -- EVENING

A chain slowly swings back and forth from a bar. We pan down to see HARRY POTTER sitting on the only unbroken swing, his arm wrapped around the chain, slowly moving back and forth. Harry looks depressed. We hear voices in the distance. Harry looks around.

DUDLEY
Here, take this. Mum'd kill me if she found pot in the house.

DUDLEY hands a small packet to PIERS.

PIERS
Sure Bid D. No problem.
(takes packet)
That was a wicked right hook.

Dudley and his gang -- PIERS, MALCOM, and GORDON -- are walking along the street that borders the playpark. They come to an intersection.

MALCOM
Squealed like a pig, didn't he?

DUDLEY
Same time tomorrow?

GORDON
Yeah, parents are out.

DUDLEY
'K. See you.

PIERS
See you, Big D.

MALCOM
Bye Dud.

GORDON
See ya, Big D.

The gang separate. Dudley is left walking alone. Harry gets off the swing and slowly walks across the park until he meets up with Dudley on:

EXT. MAGNOLIA CRESCENT -- CONTINUOUS

HARRY
Hey, Big D.

Dudley jumps and looks around.

DUDLEY
Oh, it's you.

HARRY
Who've you been beating up tonight? Another ten year old?

DUDLEY
He was asking for it.

HARRY
What'd he do? See you smoking weed?
DUDLEY
Shut it.

HARRY
I saw you do Mark Evans two nights ago.

DUDLEY
You think you're the big man, carrying that thing around, don't you?

HARRY
Not as stupid as you look, are you Dud? But I s'pose if you were, you wouldn't be able to walk and talk at the same time?

DUDLEY
You're not this brave in bed, are you?

HARRY
What do you mean?

DUDLEY
I know about Cedric.

They turn into an alley and continue walking.

HARRY
What about him?

DUDLEY
Your boyfriend.

HARRY
What the hell do you mean?

DUDLEY
I've heard you at night.

HARRY
What the **** are you talking about?

DUDLEY
"Don't kill Cedric! Don't kill Cedric!"

Harry suddenly pulls out his wand and points it at Dudley.

HARRY
Shut the **** up, and don't ever bring that up again!

DUDLEY
(stammering)
Don't... point that... thing... at me!

Harry shoves Dudley against the alley wall, his hand at Dudley's throat. A trickle of water is running down the water near Dudley's head.

HARRY
Cedric. Was. Not. My. Boyfriend! Promise you won't bring up that dream again!

DUDLEY
You wouldn't do it... Daddy'd...

HARRY
(shouting)
Do you promise?

Suddenly a screaching noise is heard from up in the air behind Harry. Harry spins around, his hand still holding Dudley by the throat. Two dementors are sweaping through the air towards Harry and Dudley. The water running down the wall freezes. Then the lights go out.

DUDLEY
(voice shaking)
What's happening?

HARRY
Shut up.

Raspings breathes can be heard out of the darkness. We zoom rapidly into Harry's eye and are envolopped in total blackness. We hear WORMTAIL.

WORMTAIL (V.O.)
Bone of the father, unkowingly given, you will renew your son.

The rasping breathes come closer. Wormtail's voice gets louder.

WORMTAIL (V.O.)
Flesh of the servent, willingly given, you will revive you master.
(beat)
Blood of the enemy, forcibly taken, you will resurrect your foe.

HARRY
(above Wormtail)
Expecto Patronum!

A feeble light comes out of Harry's wand, revealing a Dementor leaning over Harry. The dementor's hands are holding its hood, ready to pull it off. We get a glimpse of the dementor's mouth. The light fades. We hear Voldemort.

VOLDEMORT (V.O.)
Bow to death, Harry!

LILY (V.O.)
(screaming)
Don't kill Harry! Please don't kill Harry!

HARRY
(above screaming)
Expecto Patronum!

Another feeble light comes out of Harry's wand, a bit stronger than the one before, but still weak. The dementor is now a little closer to Harry, and in the background, we can see the other dementor leaning over Dudley. This dementor removes its hood. The light fades.

VOLDEMORT (V.O.)
It might even be painless... I would not know... I have never died.

LILY screams (V.O.)

HARRY
(loud and with effort)
Expecto Patronum!

A stag erupts from the end of Harry's wand. Bright white light fills the alley. The dementor above Harry begins to back away. The dementor who was over Dudley also backs away. The stag emits another bust of white light, and the two dementors soar off into the night.

INT. NUMBER TWELVE GRIMMAULD PLACE - KITCHEN -- NIGHT

A door bangs shut. DUMBLEDORE is striding across the room to a table at which a group of 10 or so people sit, including McGONAGALL, SNAPE, TONKS, SIRIUS, LUPIN, MOODY, MR. and MRS. WEASLEY, and a black man, SHACKLEBOLT.

DUMBLEDORE
(angry)
Who was supposed to be watched Privet Drive tonight?

SNAPE
Mundungus, why?

DUMBLEDORE
Harry's just been attacked by dementors. And Mundungus wasn't there. If it wasn't for Mrs. Figg walking home from the corner store...

EXT. MAGNOLIA CRESCENT -- NIGHT
MRS. FIGG, an elderly lady, is helping Harry carry an unconscious Dudley home.

MRS. FIGG
He got it bad, he did. Right unconscious he is now.

HARRY
Er, Mrs. Figg? What were dementors doing in Little Whinging?

MRS. FIGG
Didn't you know? Well, I suppose you wouldn't, living with your aunt and uncle, all. The Minister of Magic has lost control of the dementors.

HARRY
He... Fudge has lost control of the dementors?

They turn into:

EXT. PRIVET DRIVE -- CONTINUOUS

MRS. FIGG
Yep. Now that Voldemort's returned, he's been gathering all sorts of followers. Only a matter of time before old deatheaters will start escaping. He's got the giants on his side too. Forming an army, he is.

HARRY
But... the Ministry's... they've been doing stuff... haven't they?

MRS. FIGG
The Ministry? They're denying the whole thing.

HARRY
But Dumbledore believes...

MRS. FIGG
Fudge is mad at Dumbledore. See, Fudge doesn't want to believe that Voldemort has returned -- he's too much in love with his power to acknowledge that. So Dumbledore's been kicked off the Wizengamot and had his Order of Merlin taken away.

HARRY
They took his Order of Merlin away?

MRS. FIGG
That aint the worst of it either. They say it won't be long before Fudge'll try to take over Hogwarts. Well, here we at your house. I'll just leave you here.

As Mrs. Figg walks away, Harry is left standing alone, looking down at the ground, a thoughtful and disturbed look on his face.

INT. NUMBER FOUR PRIVET DRIVE -- MOMENTS LATER

Petunia opens the door, reaches outside, and grabs Dudley, hauling him inside. Harry walks in behind Dudley.

AUNT PETUNIA
Oh Popkin! Ickle Diddykins! Did something in the tea not agree with you?

HARRY
Something in the special tea, you mean?

AUNT PETUNIA
What are you talking about?

UNCLE VERNON
What did you do to him?

HARRY
I didn't do anything.

AUNT PETUNIA
Be quiet!
(to Dudley)
Oh, right in here... come on...

Aunt Pentunia lugs the unconscious Dudley into the kitchen. Uncle Vernon goes to follow, then turns back to Harry.

UNCLE VERNON
You too!

INT. DURSLEY's KITCHEN -- MOMENTS LATER

The Dursley's kitchen is shiny, spotless white. Harry, Uncle Vernon, and Aunt Petunia sit coldly around the table. Dudley is slumped in the fourth chair. Uncle Vernon is intarogating Harry. Aunt Petunia has her head bowed.

UNCLE VERNON
So let me get this straight. You're saying that these Dementoid thingies --
Aunt Petunia looks up.

AUNT PETUNIA
Dementors. They guard Azkaban. The wizard prison.

Harry and Uncle Vernon look quickly at Aunt Petunia, confused.

AUNT PETUNIA
(beat)
I, I remember Lily talking about them.

UNCLE VERNON
(beat)
So these dementors, they attacked you and Dudley, and then --

An owl carrying a letter flies through an open window.

UNCLE VERNON
What the ruddy hell!?

Uncle Vernon grabs the letter and opens it and scan it.

UNCLE VERNON
They've expelled you.

HARRY
They... what?

UNCLE VERNON
You're expelled from that queer school you go to.

Uncle Vernon tosses the letter to Harry. Harry looks stunned, then recovers.

HARRY
Fine. Then I'm leaving here too.

Harry gets up, kicking his chair over, and stomps over to the door.

UNCLE VERNON
Not so fast! You won't leave until you've put Dudley right!

HARRY
I told you! I didn't do anything to him! It was the dementors.

UNCLE VERNON
********! You're lying.

HARRY
The letter said I was expelled for casting a potronus.

UNCLE VERNON
Some spell to kill my Dudders, I suppose!

HARRY
He's not dead!

UNCLE VERNON
Shut up!

Another owl flies through the window. Harry snatches at the letter and opens it. It reads, "Harry -- stay where you are. Dumbledore's working it out with the ministry. You won't be expelled. -- Mr. Weasly."

UNCLE VERNON
What now?

HARRY
I'm not expelled after all.

UNCLE VERNON
Says who?

HARRY
Dumbledore's working it out with the Ministry.

UNCLE VERNON
(beat)
Anyway, about the dementors. What the hell would dementors be doing in Little Whinging anyway? Your story doesn't hold water, boy!

HARRY
Voldemort has returned. He sent --

UNCLE VERNON
Voldemort... he was the one who killed your parents, wasn't he?

HARRY
Yes. He's back, and he sent the dementors to get me.

AUNT PETUNIA
(whispering)
Back?

Aunt Petunia looks frightened. She gets up, walks behind Dudley's chair, and clutches his shoulders.

AUNT PETUNIA
He's back?

HARRY
Yes. He returned a month ago. I saw him.

AUNT PETUNIA
(whispering)
Oh God...

UNCLE VERNON
(skeptically)
So now he's sending dismembers after you!?
(beat)
(shouting)
Then you can jolly well **** out of this house, boy!

Harry doesn't move. Suddently an owl flies down the chimney, out the fireplace, drops a red envelope on Petunia's head, and flies back up the chimney. Petunia takes it off her had and looks at it.

HARRY
It's a howler. Open it.

With trembling hands, Petunia opens the letter.

DUMBLEDORE (O.S.)
(loud and ringing)
REMEMBER MY LAST, PETUNIA.

Petunia swallows.

AUNT PETUNIA
(weakly)
The boy... the boy will have to stay, Vernon.

Petunia forces a smile and tries to look natural.

AUNT PETUNIA
What would the neighbors think?

INT. HARRY'S BEDROOM -- NIGHT
Harry sits on his bed, thumbing through a copy of the "Daily Prophet." He stops now and then and reads excerpts.

HARRY
"In a tale worthy of Harry Potter, a man claims that his wife, who was found dead last Friday, was murdered by a giant hinkypunk. Frank Hackleton, 43..."
(beat)
"Mr. Smithpatrick, currently residing in St. Mungo's, suffered severe head injuries after falling off his broom. Let's hope he doesn't have a scar on his head or we'll be asked to worship him next."

Harry throws the paper to the floor.

HARRY
****!

DISSOLVE TO:

INT. HARRY'S BEDROOM -- LATER

Harry lies on his bed. HEDWIG flies through the open window carrying a letter. Harry sits up.

HARRY
Got something from Ron and Hermione?

Harry takes the letter and opens it.

HARRY
(reading)
"We regret that we cannot tell you anything other than..." "Dumbledore won't let us say..." "According to Dumbledore, we are not allowed..."
(to Hedwig)
What the ****! Why can't he just bloody tell me? Don't I have a right to know some of this stuff?

Harry rips up the letter and falls back on is bed.

INT. CORRIDOR -- NIGHT

Harry is slowly walking down a corridor, a look of longing on his face. A large dark door looms at the end of the corridor, its handle waiting to be turned.

INT. HARRY'S BEDROOM -- NIGHT

Harry sits up in bed panting. Suddenly we hear the sound of shattering glass from downstairs. Moments later, voices can be heard.

TONKS (O.S.)
Seems our trick worked -- no Durley's home.

MOODY (O.S.)
Careful -- don't make too much noise. Don't want neighbors to hear.

Harry creeps over to his bedroom door, careful not to make any noise, and opens it just enough to get through. He creeps out onto the:

INT. UPSTAIRS LANDING -- CONTINUOUS

Harry looks over the railing into the dark hallway below. Suddenly several wands light the area up. Harry quickly retreats to the back of the landing. Lupin, Tonks, Moody, and Shacklebolt are standing in the hall below.

LUPIN
Don't worry, Harry. We aren't going to hurt you.

HARRY
(sqinting in the light)
Lupin?

LUPIN
Yes, it's me. Dumbledore had us come to take you to headquarters.

TONKS
So you're Harry? I've been wanted to see you for ever so long.

HARRY
Er, yeah, I am.

TONKS
Cool. I'm Tonks.

EXT. SKY -- NIGHT

Harry is flying on his broom. Attatched to his broom is his trunk. Around him various other people are flying -- Moody, Tonks, Lupin, and Shaklebolt. Tonks is flying next to Harry.

HARRY
So were are we going?

TONKS
Headquarters of the Order of the Phoenix.

HARRY
Of the what?

TONKS
Order of the Phoenix. It's a group Dumbledore formed last time You-Know-Who was in power to fight him. It's been brought back.

They continue flying through the sky. Below can be seen tiny lights of civilization. They pass high above a highway.

EXT. GRIMMAULD PLACE -- NIGHT

Moody, Tonks, Lupin, Shacklebolt, and Harry land in a small square. Harry looks around. Moody hands Harry a piece of paper.

MOODY
Here. Read this. Memorize it.

Harry looks at the paper. It reads, "The Headquarters of the Order of the Phoenix can be found at Number 12, Grimmauld Place, London."

MOODY
Got it.

HARRY
Yeah.

MOODY
Think about it.

Harry looks at the houses. Straight in front of him is #11, and next to it, #13.

MOODY (O.S.)
(somewhat distant and ringing slighly)
Just think about it.

ECU on Harry's face.

ECU on #11.

ECU on #13.

BACK TO SCENE

A house slowly appears between #11 and #13, squeezing them apart.

MOODY
Come on.

They walk across the square. Harry walks beside Tonks.

HARRY
What was that all about?

TONKS
Dumbledore put a spell on the house. Only people who have been given directions by him can see it.

HARRY
So he wrote that note?

TonkS
Yep. It keeps, er, unwanted people out.

INT. NUMBER TWELVE GRIMMAULD PLACE - DOWNSTAIRS HALL -- MOMENTS LATER

The hall is quiet. Spinal-cord candles give off an earie blue light. At the far end is a small door, behind which voices can faintly be heard. At the other end is the large outside door, secured with many locks and bolts. We hear a tap on the other side of this door; the door slowly unlocks. After a few moments, the door opens. Moody, Tonks, Lupin, Shacklebolt, and Harry enter.

TONKS
(whispering)
Don't make too much noise, Harry... we don't want to wake anything up.

SHACKLEBOLT
(whispering)
Yes, best keep your voice down.

When they are all inside, the door closes and relocks itself. The door at the end of the hall opens and Mrs. Weasley comes out.

MRS. WEASLEY
(whispering)
Harry! It's lovely to see you.

Mrs. Weasley hugs Harry.

MRS. WEASLEY
You all can go ahead in -- the meeting's already begun. Harry, come with me.

Mrs. Weasley leads Harry up the staircase. At the bottom of the staircase is a troll's-leg umbrella stand. The staircase is lined with shunken, mounted house-elf heads.

HARRY
Meeting?

MRS. WEASLEY
Of the Order.

HARRY
Can't I...

MRS. WEASLEY
No, Harry dear. It's only for members.

They reach:

INT. NUMBER TWELVE GRIMMAULD PLACE - LANDING -- CONTINUOUS

MRS. WEASLEY
Ron and Hermione are right through there.

Mrs. Weasley points to a door on the right.

HARRY
Mrs. Weasly, why --

MRS. WEASLEY
Ron and Hermione will explain everything. I'd better get back down to the meeting. We'll have dinner when it's over.

Mrs. Weasley hurries down the stairs leaving Harry alone on the landing. Harry turns to the door on the right and puts his hand ont he serpent's head handle. He turns it and opens the door. He enters the room.

By the way, nice script Hawk! I like it.

hawk1245

June 18th, 2004, 5:59 pm

Thank you forthe compliment, dan4hp. Here is the next part of my script.

HERMIONE:
“It’s great to see you Harry!”

HARRY seems to be getting very tense.

SIRIUS:
“Here, how bout we take a walk around the house Harry?”

HARRY nods his head.

CUT TO:
Backyard of The Black House, night.

SIRIUS:
“Harry, I sense that something is going on with you, now what is it?”

HARRY:
“Well, I didn’t exactly have the greatest summer.”

SIRIUS:
“Let me guess, you have been cooped up all by yourself with no part in important events what so ever, while all of your friend have been having fun and doing things you can’t, all summer?”

HARRY:
“Right on target, actually. How did you know?”

SIRIUS:
“Well, my situation has been pretty much the same. All the rest of the Order has been on important missions, spying on Deatheaters and such. All I have done is stay in this old rot of a house and listen to my Mother say the M Word all day!”

HARRY:
“Your Mother?”

SIRIUS:
“Ah yes, look over there….”

SIRIUS points to a portrait of an old and snobby looking lady, LUPIN walks past her.

LUPIN:
“Good Evening Mrs. Black!”

PORTRAIT OF MR.S BLACK:
“How dare you so much as speak to me you filthy little half-breed! Go join the rest of the Mudbloods upstairs!”
We cut back to Harry and Sirius outside.

SIRIUS:
“See what I mean?”

HARRY:
“I would have never thought that you came from a….”

SIRIUS:
“You can say it, a house full of bigots! I was always the least favorite son. I was the rebellious one. When I went to Hogwarts, my parents wanted me to be in Slytherin so badly! Once I was in Gryffindor, they almost completely broke ties with me. I wasn’t their son anymore after that.”

HARRY:
“I thought the Dursleys were bad.”

SIRIUS:
“Oh I am related to some of the worst wizards alive. Bellatrix Lastrange, she was sent to Azkaban, she worked for Voldemort. She is my cousin. I am even related to the Malfoys through Draco’s mother’s side.”

HARRY:
“You are related to the Malfoys?”

SIRIUS:
“Hey! It isn’t all bad! I am also related to Molly Weasley, so I have some good connections.”

The two people share a laugh.

SIRIUS:
“Well, soon enough Prongs, we are going to be able to…”

HARRY:
“What did you call me?”

SIRIUS:
“Huh? Harry! Harry of course what else would I call you?”

HARRY:
“It sounded like you called me Pro…”

SIRIUS:
“Lets go inside and see Ron and Hermione, shall we?”

TO BE CONTINUED...

I have one question, did Dudley and his friends (SPOILERS).......smoke marujauna.......(END SPOILER) in the book, just wondering, cause all I remember was them smoking regualr cigarettes, was that a change? Just wondering....

Jaredd

June 18th, 2004, 7:16 pm

Personally, I would go for the "Harry's Point-of-View" angle!

I would have the camera move slowly down the hallway to begin with and then speed it up a notch each time the scene is repeated (to add to the intensity) so that by the last time the camera is gliding swiftly and perhaps swaying slightly as it moves to give the impression that this is a dream.

I kind of imagine this scene to be much like the classic scene in Kubrick's "The Shining" - dark and intense!

I actually envisioned it more like the opening scene in John Carpenter's "Halloween" where Michael Myers stabs his sister to death while you look through his eyes (partially obstructed by the halloween mask he wears).

As for the plot -- One of the most interesting aspects of the book was that Harry and Company [after the parting of the ways in GoF] found themselves fighting a war on two fronts -- because of that I think that the Umbridge/Ministry plot and the Voldemort/Prophecy plot should get about equal weight.

As for the other subplots, I'm torn. There are so many little things like F&G, the DA, Grawp, Firenze, SPEW...........that may or may not become important in future books. For now, I hope that Book 6 comes out before any serious work is done on OoTP so the producers can have a better idea of what to include in the movie.

That was always a creepy scene to me and that' how I imagine it every time I read the book.

HarryPotttter

June 18th, 2004, 8:51 pm

Ah, man this is so cool; it looks like just about everyone is writing their own script; keep up the good work!

Personall, I see Order of the Phoenix as being all to do withthe characters; so many new ones with all the other ones from the previous books all tagging along. As such, I reckon the best way to deal witrh the obvious problem of how much material there is to squeeze multiple scenes into one by putting much more characters into each scene. For instance; I was thinking that if I with Grawp I would have there be a short scene with Hagrid telling them the basics of what happened with him and Maxine and instead of introducing Grawp right near the end during the bit with him and the centaurs;

EXT. STEPS. EVENING. Harry, Ron, Hermione, Neville, Luna, Ginny and Umbridge are all walking down towards the forbidden forest. The kids look at each other. Suddenly they run off from her, she chases them, but due to her size and shape, they get away easily.

UMBRIDGE

Hey! Come back here!

INT. FORBIDDEN FOREST. Hagrid is standing next to a huge mound, He looks extremely nervous. He spots the kids.

HAGRID
Hey! Hey! You lot! I've got somethin' to tell yer.

HERMIONE
Hagrid! (She runs up to him) Aah, I know! We've just found out! It's so unfair! Ugh, how can they just sack you like that?

HAGRID
Look, that's not what I'm talking about

HARRY (Very suprised)
Wha? What then?

HAGRID
Look, when I went to Poland, I didn't...I didn't

HARRY
Hagrid, look, Umbridge is right behind us--

HAGRID (Loudly)
I took me 'alf-brother 'ome with me!

The mound behind him slowly rises from the ground and stands up; it's Hagrid's giant half-brother; GRAWP. He looks like a huge person with a head that is larger in propriton to the body than in a person and odd skin and hair. He He moans. The Kids faces rise, agape.

Suddenly, Umbridge appears.

UMBRIDGE (Looks up a Grawp briefly, then turns to Hagrid; exhasuted but victorious)
I knew it! I knew it! You've been smuggling...your kind into the castle grounds, haven't you?

Suddenly, an entire legion of Centaurs surround them; bow and arrows pointed straight at the humans' necks. Their leader, Bane speaks;

BANE:
What are you doing here, humans? This is our part of the forest!

HAGRID
Bane...please...

BANE (Sharp, angry)
SILENCE! I'm fed up with you humans!

HARRY
Well maybe if you just listened to us...

BANE (Moving closer to Harry; tightening his bow string and putting his bow and arrow right next to his neck and staring at him, resentingly)
You mean obey and that's exactly what you want us to do, isn't it? WE WILL NEVER, EVER LISTEN TO THE LIKES OF YOU; HUMAN BOY!

UMBRIDGE
You disgusting creatures!

RON (Quitely)
Bad move...

UMBRIDGE
I demand that you leave us at once! According to Law 15 B of the magical creatures--

BANE (He charges towards her)
Creatures? Centaurs are not creatures!

Suddenly, one of the Centaurs accidentally let go of his bow string, sending an arrow straight into Grawps arm. He responds by roaring as he swipes at them. They defend by sending many more arrows at him. He lunges at them. A few centaurs pick up the kids and begin to gallop off, pursued by Grawp. While this happens; Umbridge runs a few metres in front of them. She stands there, attempting to stop them.

UMBRIDGE
As a senior Minister for the Ministry of magic; I demand you to--

She is picked up by Bane. She wails. They charge off with Grawp close behind. He roars and swings at them, causing them to scatter. Sudddenly, some Thestrals appear.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

I actionised this bit a bit. I thought it would be cool to then have a scene with the kids jumping off the Centaurs and onto the Thestrals, like a wild-west movie. The fact that some of the people can't see them makes adds a new twist to an old type of stunt.

michaela

June 18th, 2004, 9:11 pm

:tu: Wow, that's really good!!!

daniel4hp

June 18th, 2004, 10:07 pm

I have one question, did Dudley and his friends (SPOILERS).......smoke marujauna.......(END SPOILER) in the book, just wondering, cause all I remember was them smoking regualr cigarettes, was that a change? Just wondering....
I added that myself.

Here's the next section of mine. It would cut straight to the Hogwarts Express after this.

Mrs. Weasley hurries down the stairs leaving Harry alone on the landing. Harry turns to the door on the right and puts his hand ont he serpent's head handle. He turns it and opens the door. He enters the room.

HERMIONE (O.S.)
(excited)
Harry! Ron, Harry's here!

RON (O.S.)
Hey Harry!

The door closes.

INT. NUMBER TWELVE GRIMMAULD PLACE - HARRY'S BEDROOM -- NIGHT

RON and HERMIONE are sitting on the two beds in the room. Harry, near the door, is standing up, an angry look on his face.

HERMIONE
Harry, we tried, we really did.

RON
Dumbledore would let us tell you anything.

HARRY
(angry)
Well you obviously didn't try hard enough!

HERMIONE
There really wasn't much to tell. We weren't let in meetings or anything.

HARRY
Big deal! You were still here, you were together, while I was stuck at my aunt and uncle's house for a month!

RON
Harry, we're really --

HARRY
(shouting)
Yeah, you're really sorry, but you couldn't actually tell me anything, could you? I've handled more than you two have combined, but why should I know anything? Who saved the Stone from Voldemort? Who got rid of Riddle? Who saved both your skins from dementors? Who had to get through three ****ing tasks? Who fought Voldemort the night he returned?

HERMIONE
We know, Harry. We really wanted to tell you, but Dumbledore made us swear --

HARRY
(shouting)
Dumbledore made you swear! And why'd Dumbledore so keen on keeping me in the dark? Dumbledore knew what I'd done, but why should he tell me anything? Whey should he let me in on anything? Did you even bother to ask him?

HERMIONE
Yes, we did Harry.

HARRY
(shouting)
I suppose he doesn't trust me, does he? Doesn't think I could handle it!

RON
Don't be silly, mate.

HARRY
(shouting)
**** YOU!

INT. NUMBER TWELVE GRIMMAULD PLACE - KITCHEN -- NIGHT

FRED, GEORGE, and GINNY WEASLEY, MUNDUNGUS, SIRIUS, Harry, Ron, Hermione, and Mr. and Mrs. Weasley are sitting around the large kitchen table eating dinner. Harry is talking with Ron and Hermione.

HARRY
Look guys, I'm really sorry about shouting at you.

RON
It's okay, mate. Don't worry about it.

HERMIONE
You were right. We should have told you stuff. It's just, there wasn't really anything to tell.

HARRY
Yeah, I know. Dumbledore's being really beastly not letting out about anything.
Fred and George lean over and talk quietly to Harry.

FRED
We were able to get some info though.

GEORGE
Extendable Ears.

Ginny leans across the table and joins in.

GINNY
One of Fred and George's inventions for the joke shop they want to start.

GEORGE
They didn't let us hear much...

FRED
But we do know that they're trying to get more people to join the Order.

GINNY
And they were talking about people watching you.

HARRY
Dumbledore's had people watching me? ****. What about Vol-- You-Know-Who?

GEORGE
Haven't heard anything about what he's up to. Sorry mate.

HARRY
Anyway, where's Percy? I haven't seen him around.

RON
Er, we sorta don't talk about Percy any more.

HARRY
Why not?

GEORGE
He sided with Fudge.

FRED
He won't talk to us any more.

RON
Mum tried to visit him in London... didn't go too well.

EXT. PERCY'S HOUSE -- DAY -- FLASHBACK
Mrs. Weasley, holding a large package knocks on a door. The door doesn't open, so she knocks again. The door opens and PERCY WEASLEY looks out.

MRS. WEASLEY
Oh Percy! It's so nice --

PERCY
What are you doing on my doorstep, woman?

MRS. WEASLEY
Oh Percy...

PERCY
Shoo off!

Percy slams the door in Mrs. Weasley's face. Mrs. Weasley is left weaping quietly, still holding the parcel.

DISSOLVE TO:

INT. NUMBER TWELVE GRIMMAULD PLACE - KITCHEN -- LATER

Harry and Sirius are sitting in an alcove facing each other. In the background the others, slightly out of focus, are talking and laughing. Harry and Sirius are talking quietly.

HARRY
It's nice seeing you, Sirius.

SIRIUS
How's your summer been?

HARRY
Bad.

SIRIUS
Dursleys?

HARRY
Dumbledore won't tell me anything.

SIRIUS
Must be awful. You didn't even know that members of the Order were watching you?

HARRY
I didn't even know the Order existed.
(beat)
Anyway, how've you been?

SIRIUS
Bad too. Dumbledore won't let me out.

HARRY
Why not?

SIRIUS
Says I might be caught. I don't think he considers me responsible.

HARRY
So you've been stuck in this house all summer?

SIRIUS
Yep, here with my mum.

HARRY
With your mum?

SIRIUS
Didn't you know? This was my parents house. My mum's portrait is upstairs. She can be rather talkative.

HARRY
This... was your parent's house?

SIRIUS
Yeah, my parents were big supports of the whole pure-blood thing. I'm related to the Malfoys, didn't you know?

HARRY
You're... you're related to the Malfoys?

SIRIUS
Yep, them and a bunch of other death eaters. My brother, Regulus Black, Bellatrix Lestrange, she was the one who tortured the Longbottom's -- I think you know Neville?

Mrs. Weasly comes over.

MRS. WEASLEY
You two want to come over and join us for some dessert?

INT. NUMBER TWELVE GRIMMAULD PLACE - KITCHEN -- LATER

Everyone is finishing up their desert.

HARRY
Sirius, I was wondering if maybe... you know... I've been wondering about a lot of stuff... about the Order...

SIRIUS
I suppose you want to know what we're up to? Well, you have a right to --

MRS. WEASLEY
Sirius! Have you forgotten what Dumbledore's orders were?

SIRIUS
Which bit?

MRS. WEASLEY
About not telling Harry anything more than what he needs to know! I forbid you to tell Harry anything!

SIRIUS
Harry isn't a child, Molly. And he certainly isn't your's.

MRS. WEASLEY
He's as good as my son! I only want what's best for him!

Harry looks touched by this statement.

Mr. WEASLEY
Perhaps we should ask Harry his opinion.

HARRY
(not looking at Mrs. Weasley)
Of course I want to know what's going on.

MRS. WEASLEY
Okay, Ron, Hermione, Ginny -- to bed!

RON
Harry'll tell me and Hermione everything!

MRS. WEASLEY
FINE! Ginny! TO BED!

GINNY
But I don't want to go, mum!

MRS. WEASLEY
You heard me! BED!

Ginny, grumbling, leaves the room.

SIRIUS
So, what do you want to know, Harry?

HARRY
Where's Voldemort? What's he doing?

SIRIUS
Right now, he's keeping low. You messed the plan up by staying alive, so it would be dangerous if he made his presence known right now.

HARRY
But how...?

MR. WEASLEY
You told Dumbledore at once.

SIRIUS
And Dumbledore was the one person Voldemort was always afraid of. Dumbledore was able to recall the Order hours after Voldemort returned.

HARRY
So what's the order been doing all this time?

SIRIUS
Working to make sure he can't carry out his plans.

HARRY
Such as?

SIRIUS
Well... he's been trying to get stuff... stuff he can only get by stealth. We're trying to prevent that.

HARRY
Like a weapon? Something worse than "Avada Kadavra"?

MRS. WEASLEY
That's enough. Harry, you've heard enough. It's high time we all get to bed.
Everyone gets up and slowly walks towards the door. Mundungus pulls out what looks like a cigarette.

INT. NUMBER TWELVE GRIMMAULD PLACE - DOWNSTAIRS HALL -- LATER

Mrs. Weasley, Mundungus, Sirius, Harry, Ron, Hermione, Fred, and George are coming up the stairs from the kitchen and through the small door at the end of the hall.

MRS. WEASLEY
Mundungus, is that...
(sniffs)
No! tobacco is one thing, but that? No! I will not tollerate it!

RON
Mum's been angry with Mundungus since he slipped off to buy stolen cauldrons when he should have been watching you -- you know, with the dementors and all.

MRS. WEASLEY
(raising her voice)
Get rid of that horrible stuff right now! I won't allow it in this house!

Curtains next to the main door fly open at this moment, revealing a portrait of an elderly lady -- MRS. BLACK.

MRS. BLACK
(screaming)
FILTH! SCUM! BY-PRODUCTS OF DIRT AND VILENESS! HALF-BREEDS, MUTANTS, FREAKS, BE GONE FROM THIS PLACE!

Sirius runs over to the portrait and attempts to pull the curtains shut.

SIRIUS
Shut up, you old hag!
(tugging at curtains)
Shut UP!

MRS. BLACK
(screaming)
YOOOU! BLOOD TRAITOR, ABOMINATION, SHAME OF MY --

Sirius manages to pull the curtains shut. Mrs. Black stops screaming.

SIRIUS
(to Harry)
Now you've met my mum.

INT. NUMBER TWELVE GRIMMAULD PLACE - HARRY'S BEDROOM -- NIGHT

Harry, Ron, and Hermione are sitting in the bedroom talking.

HARRY
Ginny seemed much more willing to talk tonight.

RON
That's how she normally is, mate. It was just around you that she'd stop talking.

HERMIONE
That's 'cause she had a crush on you.

HARRY
She doesn't any more?

HERMIONE
Hasn't since the end of last year.

Fred and George apparate in the bedroom, Fred on top of Ron, who is sitting on one of the beds.

RON
Ow. Stop doing that.

FRED
Most sorry, your highness.

GEORGE
So what d'you reckon that was about a weapon?

RON
Must be pretty bad if it's worse than Avada Kadavra.

FRED
Maybe something that can kill a whole bunch of people at once?

HERMIONE
There are things worse than death, you know. Anyway, I'd better go tell Ginny what we heard.
Hermione leaves the room. Harry looks thoughtful.

INT. NUMBER TWELVE GRIMMAULD PLACE - DOWNSTAIRS HALL -- MORNING

Mrs. Weasley comes bustling out of the kitchen door holding two envelopes and calls up to Harry and Ron, who are talking on the landing above.

MRS. WEASLEY
Book lists have arrived!

Harry and Ron hurry down the stairs and take the envelopes Mrs. Weasley is holding.

INT. NUMBER TWELVE GRIMMAULD PLACE - HARRY'S BEDROOM -- MOMENTS LATER

Harry and Ron are sitting on the beds.

RON
There's something else in my envelope.

HARRY
Let's see what it is.

Ron turns the envelope upside down. A badge falls out.

RON
Wait a sec... there must have been a mistake.

HARRY
What is it?

RON
A prefect badge but...

HARRY
They've made you a prefect?

RON
D'you think so?

Harry forces a smile.

HARRY
Well, you got a badge, didn't you?

RON
Wicked.

HARRY
Hey, can I see it?

RON
Sure. No problem.

Ron hands the badge to Harry. At that moment, Hermione runs into the room holding another prefect badge. She sees Harry holding one.

HERMIONE
So you've got one too? That's wonderful!

Hermione hugs Harry.

HARRY
Er, no, actually. It's Ron's.

HERMIONE
It's... what do you mean?

HARRY
It's Ron's badge. Not mine.

HERMIONE
Ron's badge? But Ron, you didn't...

RON
Er, yeah. I've been made a prefect.

HERMIONE
Oh, oh, that's... that's wonderful, Ron.

INT. NUMBER TWELVE GRIMMAULD PLACE - HARRY'S BEDROOM -- LATER

The door is closed. Harry is alone in the room. He kicks his trunk, then turns to an empty sheet of framed canvas on the wall.

HARRY
(to canvas)
**** YOU!

Harry throws himself on the bed and thumps his pillow with his fist, then picks up the pillow up and throws it across the room. He falls back on his bed.

HARRY
**** him!

INT. NUMBER TWELVE GRIMMAULD PLACE - KITCHEN -- NIGHT

A large sign on the wall reads "Congratulations, Ron and Hermione: New Hogwarts Prefects." Below, seated at the table, is a multitude of people, including Harry, Ron, Hermione, Mundungus, Fred, George, Sirius, Tonks, Lupin, Shacklebolt, and Moody. Mrs. Weasley is absent. Everyone is talking and eating. Mundugus is telling a story to Ron, Hermione, Fred, George, and Ginny.

MUNDUNGUS
(laughing)
And then, if you'll believe it, 'e says to me, 'e says, "'ere Dung, where didja get all them toads from? 'Cos some son of a Bludger's gone and nicked all of mine!" And I says, 'Nicked all your toads, Will? What's next..."

Harry is sitting alone at one end of the table. He looks depressed. Moody comes over to him.

MOODY
Hey, Potter. I have something I think you might like to see.

Moody pulls out a photograph. In the picture are a small crowd of people waving and smiling.

MOODY
This here was the old Order. That's me there, and there's Dumbledore beside me. And there's Marlene McKinnon, killed two weeks after this picture was taken --

FLASHBACK: Marlene McKinnon, screaming silently, falls out of view.

BACK TO SCENE

MOODY
And here's Lupin, and next to him there's Benjy Fenwick. Poor bloke... he chopped it too. We only ever found its of him.

FLASHBACK: A wand emits a bright green spell. We see several severed body parts fly around.

BACK TO SCENE

Harry has a repulsed look on his face, but is clearly trying to repress it as he looks at the picture.

MOODY
That's Edgar Bones, got his whole family, the death eaters. Great wizard too.

FLASHBACK: A small child screams silently as she falls over. The child's mother, also screaming silently, falls on top of her daughter.

BACK TO SCENE

MOODY
And then there's Elphias Doge, and over here's Cardoc Dearborn, he vanished six months after this picture was taken.

Harry looks slightly sick as he stares at the picture. Tears can be seen forming in his eyes.

MOODY
And finally, over here at the end, that's Frank and Alice Longbottom, tortured by Bellatrix Lestrange. Poor blokes... better dead than how they are now.

INT. LESTRANGE HOUSE -- NIGHT -- FLASHBACK

ALICE LONGBOTTOM is nursing her baby NEVILLE. Suddenly there is a crash at the door. FRANK LONGBOTTOM calls from another room.

FRANK LONGBOTTOM
Keep Neville safe; I'll go see what's happening.

Moments later, we hear Frank screaming. Over the screaming can be heard high, female laughter. Alice runs out of the room with her baby, and returns moments later without him. Frank stops screaming, and seconds later, BELLATRIX LESTRANGE enters the room. She points her wand at Alice.

BELLATRIX
CRUCIO!

Alice lets out a high-pitched scream as she writhes in pain.

INT. NUMBER TWELVE GRIMMAULD PLACE - KITCHEN -- CONTINUOUS

Harry looks sick.

HARRY
Er, I'd better be going. Got to pack. For school.

MOODY
Sure, no problem. Wouldn't want to delay you.

Harry gets up quickly and hurries across the room. Moody walks over to Lupin.

MOODY
Hey, have you seen Molly?

LUPIN
I think she went upstairs to get rid of a Boggart.

INT. NUMBER TWELVE GRIMMAULD PLACE - LANDING -- MOMENTS LATER

Harry is walking up the stairs. He stops on the landing. We hear weeping coming from a room. He looks inside.

INT. NUMBER TWELVE GRIMMAULD PLACE - DRAWING ROOM -- CONTINUOUS

Mrs. Weasley is on her knees on the floor, sobbing and holding her wand. Next to her lies Ron -- not moving, and in a pool of blood. Harry freezes in the door. He tries to breathe but can't.

HARRY
(voice cracking)
M-Mrs. Weasley?

Mrs. Weasley points her wand at Ron. Harry quickly enters the room, about to stop whatever she is going to do.

MRS. WEASLEY
R-Riddikulus!

Ron's body disappears and is replaced by Mr. Weasley's. Mr. Weasley is lying spread-eagled on his back, his eye's staring blankly at the ceiling. Harry breathes a sigh of relief. Mrs. Weasley continues sobbing.

HARRY
Mrs. Weasley, just get out of here! It's just a boggart! Let someone else --

MRS. WEASLEY
Riddikulus!

Mr. Weasley's body is replaced with Harry. Harry looks from his own body to Mrs. Weasley. A look of compassion spreads over his face. Lupin enters the room and takes the situation in quickly.

LUPIN
Riddikulus!

Harry turns into a moon, then disappears in a puff of smoke. Mrs. Weasley begins to recover.

MRS. WEASLEY
(her voice shaking)
I see them dead all the time! I dream about it... half the family's in the Order... Percy not talking to us... what if something dreadful happens and we never made up?

LUPIN
It's okay Molly. The Order's better prepared. We have a head start. This won't be like last time.

ECU on Harry's face. He looks sad, obviously touched by Mrs. Weasley's concerns.

FLASHBACK: Moody holding the photograph, in which the members of the Order are smiling and waving.

BACK TO SCENE

A tear is running down Harry's cheek.

hawk1245

June 19th, 2004, 2:19 am

[QUOTE=Jaredd]I actually envisioned it more like the opening scene in John Carpenter's "Halloween" where Michael Myers stabs his sister to death while you look through his eyes (partially obstructed by the halloween mask he wears).

As for the plot -- One of the most interesting aspects of the book was that Harry and Company [after the parting of the ways in GoF] found themselves fighting a war on two fronts -- because of that I think that the Umbridge/Ministry plot and the Voldemort/Prophecy plot should get about equal weight.

QUOTE]

I agree with you, I actually put a paticular foucus on the two front war in my script. Here is the basic structure of my script:

Battle against Voldemort/ rebbelion against ministry

Ministry taking over hogwarts

Harry and Sirius, and the way they relate to eachother, and the way that both Sirius and Snape share one thing in common: mistaking Harry for his father.

I am taking the Alfonso Cauron view and keeping to the theme of the book rather than being literal. I beleive that the theme(s) of the book are standing alone to fight for whats right, finding flaws in yourself and other and learning to cope with them, and the struggle of a person trying to be important when everyone else is. As long as they stay true to that, I will be happy with the film. Cause that's what is so compelling sbout the book.

mevam

June 19th, 2004, 3:29 am

The problem with OOTP is that there's just TOO much going on, and none of it seems to be tied together at the end, there's just a lot of the cliche loose ends which we never see fixed up. I think that Steve Kloves, the screenwriter, is going to have a heck of a time figuring this one out, although if Book 6 comes out before they start writing the script for OOTP, which I hope it will, than it might be easier to write it. For one thing, by analyzing what from OOTP is imperative to the events of book 6, Kloves will be able to decide which parts in OOTP can be easily dropped without threatening the plots of the other films.

I think there are a lot of scenes in OOTP that one might easily judge as "filler" simply because it doesn't seem to allow the book to flow well, but its not as though JKR is simply bandying about random tidbits to add to the books. It's important to realize that she has planned this out EXTENSIVELY, and so to say that the books were written with too much "nothing" is rather untrue. The main purpose of book 5, in the my opinion, is to act as the connection between the first 4 tamer books of the series, and the last two extremely dark ends to the HP saga. Book 5 is an inbetween, and as such, the movie shouldn't be expected to conform as easily to Hollywood standards of start, action, and finish.

HarryPotttter

June 19th, 2004, 11:24 am

Ah, man this is so cool; it looks like just about everyone is writing their own

script; keep up the good work!

Okey, if you don't wan't to read this please look at the bottom of this post, please don't just skip past it, there's a few announcements I want to make. And please remember this is all copyrighted (see my last post; above). I also want to add that I am not in anyway associated with anyone who Harry Potter or anything associated with Harry Potter is copyrighted to. The characters in this script of eniterly fictional and any similarities with any real persons, living or dead, is purely coincidental.

Personally, I see Order of the Phoenix as being all to do with the characters;

so many new ones with all the other ones from the previous books all tagging

along. As such, I reckon the best way to deal with the obvious problem of how

much material there is to squeeze multiple scenes into one by putting much

more characters into each scene. For instance; I was thinking that if I with

Grawp I would have there be a short scene with Hagrid telling them the basics

of what happened with him and Maxine and instead of introducing Grawp right

near the end during the bit with him and the centaurs;

EXT. STEPS. EVENING. Harry, Ron, Hermione, Neville, Luna, Ginny and

Umbridge are all walking down towards the forbidden forest. The kids look at

each other. Suddenly they run off from her, she chases them, but due to her

size and shape, they get away easily.

UMBRIDGE

Hey! Come back here!

INT. FORBIDDEN FOREST. Hagrid is standing next to a huge mound, He

looks extremely nervous. He spots the kids.

HAGRID
Hey! Hey! You lot! I've got somethin' to tell yer.

HERMIONE
Hagrid! (She runs up to him) Aah, I know! We've just found out! It's so unfair!

Ugh, how can they just sack you like that?

HAGRID
Look, that's not what I'm talking about

HARRY (Very surprised)
Wha? What then?

HAGRID
Look, when I went to Poland, I didn't...I didn't

HARRY
Hagrid, look, Umbridge is right behind us--

HAGRID (Loudly)
I took me 'alf-brother 'ome with me!

The mound behind him slowly rises from the ground and stands up; it's

Hagrid's giant half-brother; GRAWP. He looks like a huge person with a head

that is larger in proportion to the body than in a person and odd skin and hair.

He moans. The kids' faces rise, agape.

Suddenly, Umbridge appears.

UMBRIDGE (Looks up a Grawp briefly, then turns to Hagrid; exhausted but

victorious)
I knew it! I knew it! You've been smuggling...your kind into the castle grounds,

haven't you?

Suddenly, an entire legion of Centaurs surround them; bow and arrows

pointed straight at the humans' necks. Their leader, Bane speaks;

BANE:
What are you doing here, humans? This is our part of the forest!

HAGRID
Bane...please...

BANE (Sharp, angry)
SILENCE! I'm fed up with you humans!

HARRY
Well maybe if you just listened to us...

BANE (Moving closer to Harry; tightening his bow string and putting his bow

and arrow right next to his neck and staring at him, his face full of resent)
You mean obey and that's exactly what you want us to do, isn't it? WE

WILL NEVER, EVER LISTEN TO THE LIKES OF YOU; HUMAN BOY!

UMBRIDGE
You disgusting creatures!

RON (Quietly)
Bad move...

UMBRIDGE
I demand that you leave us at once! According to Law 15 B of the magical

creatures--

BANE (He charges towards her)
Creatures? Centaurs are not creatures!

Suddenly, one of the centaurs accidentally let go of his bow string, sending an

arrow straight into Grawp's arm. He responds by roaring as he swipes at

them. They defend by sending hundreds of arrows at him. He begins to bleed

huge droplets of blood. They rain down on the centaurs. He lunges at them. A

few centaurs pick up the kids and begin to gallop off, pursued by Grawp. While

this happens; Umbridge runs a few metres in front of them. She stands there,

attempting to stop them.

UMBRIDGE
As a senior Minister for the Ministry of magic; I demand you to--

She is picked up by Bane. She wails. They charge off with Grawp close

behind. He roars and swings at them, causing them to scatter. Umbridge is

still wailing. He is still bleeding everywhere. Thestrals begin to swoop down;

they are after the blood; licking off the centaurs; off the people and off the

ground and the trees. One of them is licking the blood off the centaur that is

next to the one that is carrying Harry. He realises what he has to do. He

straightens up, and with a sudden burst of energy, jumps onto the thestral.

Luna follows him and does the same to a thestral near her. The centaurs have

noticed and a group of them charge towards them; firing their arrows. The

thestrals fly out the way. Hermione, Ron and Neville are panicking. Ron looks

very worried. Show his perspective; there is nothing there.

HARRY
Ron!

His thestral turns round and heads towards Ron, Hermione and Neville;

pursued by about five centaurs and Luna's thestral. Luna is singing. The

centaurs carrying the other kids attempt to run off; but the literally blood-thirsty

thestrals pursue them, along with Harry, Luna and their pursuing centaurs.

Harry and Luna grab them, one by one and throw them onto the nearest

thestral. Ron and Hermione end up on the same one. Hermione grabs Ron.

HERMIONE
Aah, this is really weird!

Suddenly, Harry's thestral is hit with an arrow; it is from Bane. It crashes to the

floor. Bane, flanked by ten other centaurs gallop up to them.

BANE
Think you can get away, human? Ha! We have speed and intelligence more

than you could ever--

Suddenly, Grawp's swings his arm at them. The centaurs scatter; giving the

chance for the thestrals to fly off, with the kids on them. Harry pulls the arrow

out his his thestral, and throws it into the air; the camera follows it back down

to into the forest; where the centaurs charge off; chased by Grawp, with

Umbridge still wailing her head off; bouncing around on Bane's back.

Elsewhere, Hagrid looks up at the kids flying off on the thestrals.

HAGRID
Now there's summit yer don't see every day...

Back up in the sky, Hermione looks down at the chase below them.

HERMIONE
Oh, no; oh that was horrible. And he might kill them all!

HARRY
I'm not that fussed, to be honest.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

I know that this is a rather long scene, but remember, it does require the

cutting of Grawp's introduction as it is in the book. As for the Thestrals, I'd have

the only other place where they appear at the beginning, and then have Harry

ask Hagrid about them when he comes back and he simply explains a few

things about them.

For one thing, by analyzing what from OOTP is imperative to the events of book 6, Kloves will be able to decide which parts in OOTP can be easily dropped without threatening the plots of the other films.

Yes, that would be very good but remember that Jo always helps the writers (it might not be Kloves for OotP :( ) and she says that she's told Kloves more about future events in the books than anyone else.

Hmm, perhaps we could all work together to construct the best OotP script imaginable. Then, we'd get it formatted properly and then we could e-mail to Warner Bros. and see what they say. I'm not saying that they'd accept it; I'm just saying that it'd be interesting to find out the studio's opinion. Hopefully they wouldn't just complain that we'd breached copyright laws. If anyone wants to send a script to JK, I think it'd be best to tell her agents precisely what it is we want to send to her because overwise it'd never get through to her because she gets so much post and e-mails that surely she musthave people who read sort through it. There's probably so much they don't even bother to even look at some of them.

People, people! In the United Kingdom and the United States; anything that you write is automatically copyrighted to you. BUT people can copy your stuff and get away with it if you don't tell them it's copyrighted to you. (Stupid, I know, but true.) So please state clearly that the text is copyrighted to you before posting huge chunks of your own original writing onto the internet; an international information web potential accesible by literally everyone; believe me, people will copy it and say it's their own, you won't be able to do anything about it unless and believe me, that will **** you off.

Please reply with your thoughts.

icecubecat14

June 19th, 2004, 12:34 pm

what i think should be in the movie:

* Most of harrys time at the dursleys

* Harry's anger(maybe toned down a little)

* The scene with trelawney being sacked by Umbridge

* Harry & Cho and the kiss

* Luna Lovegood

* Dumbledoor 'explaining' to harry

they are just some random things that i think should be in the movie, not everything i think should be in the movie

daniel4hp

June 19th, 2004, 8:54 pm

Now that I've finished with the first half hour of my script, I get to tackle the gigantic middle part of the book, which I think will be the hardest part to do.

I plan to structure my screenplay like this:

The main plot throughout most of the movie will be the Umbridge/Ministry take over of Hogwarts. This will be structured so as to give it a swelling feeling -- Umbridge gains more and more power and the Educational Decrees are passed. First Trelawny's fired, then Hagrid's sacked, then McGonagall's attacked. Events will be paced to give this swelling feeling. This will be the plot that will carry the middle portion of the movie.

Throughout the movie there will also be references to the fact that the Ministry is doing this because they hate that Dumbledore is claiming that Voldemort is back. Also spread throughout will be references to the Voldemort plot -- most obviously, Harry's dreams, Occlumency, and the "weapon." Gradually the audience will piece this plot together, but throughout the middle, it will stay primarilly beneath the Ministry plot. There will also be references to the work of the Order of the Phoenix, both in defying the Ministry and fighting Voldemort.

Near the end, the Ministry plot will fall away and I will have a scene or scenes in which the entire Voldemort plot comes together. This will be followed by the climax, which obviously focusses with the Voldemort plot. At the end of this, the Ministry will accept that Voldemort has returned, and I'll wrap up the Ministry plot before switching back over to the Voldemort plot for the final scenes where Dumbledore explains things to Harry and the second war begins.

Woven thoughout all this will be what I see to be the major thematic strand of the book: Harry's inner emotions. I will try to concentrate on this as much as possible, looking particularly at his anger, confusion, and feelings of isolation. After the climax many of his emotions will change, but the movie will still end with his inner journey playing a significant role. As I see it, Harry's inner transformation is a very important part of this book.

I will also try to reference various other small themes, lessons, and ideas from the book. However, I will try to keep most of the movie focussing on the above three things, and everything that stays will somehow be tied to those elements. Most of the rest of the book will need to be stripped away. Here's a list of some of the things I plan to cut and keep.

- Harry/Cho: Keep, but toned down.
- Quidditch: Cut, except for one match.
- SPEW: Cut, except for passing references.
- Grawp: Cut.
- Kreacher: Cut.
- Luna: Keep, with emphesis.
- Rita Skeeter: Cut.
- Percy: Keep, but very toned down.
- Hagrid and the Giants: Cut.
- St. Mungo's: Cut.
- Snape's Worst Memory: Keep, but shortened.
- Fred and George: Keep, but very toned down.
- OWL's: Cut, except for passing references.
- Ron and Hermione's bickering: Keep, but toned down.
- Firenze: Cut.

Anyway, that's how I plan to do it.

tyro

June 20th, 2004, 1:24 pm

look forward to reading it!!!

hawk1245

June 21st, 2004, 4:51 am

Here is the basis of my script:

Grawp: in, but I only have a short scene

Ron and Quidditch: I have one brief match where Ron does terribly, and one where he wins it, I am keeping at short ansd sweet.

Kreacher: only a cameo

Firenze: cut

St. Mungos: brief, very short scene

Harry and Cho: one of the main sub plots (sort of like rons broken wand in cos)

Hagrid and the giants: explained in one sentance, along with grawp

SPEW: Gone, but hermione's opinion on House elves is still there

The DA: Introduced right after the first class (alos after the first class is harry's detention)

Like D4HP, I think the main focus should be tahts Voldemort is gainning power and the ministry isn't doing anything about it, and that the order is trying their best to work alone. Also it shoudl focus onthe way Sirius and Harry relate, and how both Siriu AND Snape have one big thing in common: they both think Harry is his dad.

nhut

June 21st, 2004, 9:48 am

Sometime I'll write my vision for the script. I've been pondering on a few ideas (I have no life, I have time to do this).

My cunning plan (more cunning than a cunning fox):

My feeling is that the book is an unstructured mess, although a highly entertaining one at that. Cut the fat from the book (and there's a hell of a lot of it) and we just get the basic story of the Ministry taking over the school, spreading their propaganda by prodding the media. It's very much Harry vs the state, Harry vs the media. I don't think this was particularly well done in the book, and I'd like to really strengthen this plotline. Then there’s the contrived plot of Voldy to get Harry and his prophecy. To underwrite either of these plotlines as merely a subplot would be criminal; in my version they would be very much intertwined.

Lucius Malfoy will become Voldemort's arm, and a significant bad guy – the payoff of this is that his capture at the end will be hugely satisfying for the audience.

He will be the one who conducts the imperius curse on what's-his-name, he will be the one who plants the Devil's Snare by the wizard at St Mungo's. He will also be the one who aids in the Death Eater's escape from Azkaban.

Instead of Umbridge and Voldemort being two different evils coincidentally aiding each other, Umbridge is going to unwittingly become a pawn of Voldy.

Umbridge is easily manipulated by Lucius, having her own reasons for taking control over Hogwarts and getting rid of certain staff. McGonagall, Hagrid and Snape (Umbridge would not think Occlumency is appropriate) will all be forced out, after suggestions from Lucius (I’m imagining some lovely sexual tension between them :)). This leaves Harry, having literally nobody to go, to run into Voldemort's hand.

The previous films (and books) haven’t ever not followed Harry’s point of view. I’d like to deviate from this model this time round, showing events like the escape from Azkaban (this could be an incredible scene), Voldy plotting, the Devil’s Snare strangling the poor wizard in St Mungo’s, Lucius standing by with a lovely evil smile.

Whether Rita Skeeter is included or not really depends on whether they decide to include her in Goblet of Fire. I think it was a mistake of Rowling to put her in GoF, as she would have served a far more useful function in OotP, being a human representation of the media spreading their hurtful misinformation.

I don't think Qudditch serves really any purpose in this instalment; perhaps Umbridge could simply kill it as part of her whole politically correct thing. From what I can remember in the books, it just served as a distraction so Hagrid could take Hermione and Harry to see his giant (this has no relevance in this book- it's getting the chop). Quidditch was somewhere for Ron to shine, but I think his prefectship would do that job.

The book has an action-packed ending, certainly, but I have real problems believing that a bunch of teenage wizards can evade a group of murderous escapees. It all seemed a bit too Scooby Doo-ish. Some slicing needs to go on here

I’m not sure all the students have to go to the ministry as well; from memory, Ginny was a bit of a tag-along. I could see her being basically chopped from the film. Neville confronts his parents’ attackers, he has a fairly large role. I’m not sure how to deal with Luna.

I’d like to basically change the whole dénouement as well. For a start, Harry yelling at Hagrid annoyed me immensely, so that’s going. :) I like the Harry-Malfoy confrontation, however. I’d use the moment to humanise Draco a bit – his father’s just been sent to prison after all.

Basically, I’d like to have Harry walk past the Great Hall doors while the leaving feast was taking place, and walks to the general area of Hagrid’s hut. (A voiceover from Dumbledore about the prophecy, a continuation of his talk with Harry, would be overlayed here.) Harry sees a bloodied Hagrid emerge from the Forbidden Forest holding a flailing Umbridge in a fireman’s lift, having saved her from the centaurs. He lets her down, and she races up the hill. Harry and her make eye contact, but nothing is said.
Harry and Hagrid walk up to school, having a lovely chat about Sirius, and death. When they get back, they find Umbridge being chased by the whole school (including McGonagall :)) to the Thestral-drawn carriages. Ron and Hermione emerge from the excited crowd when the see Harry and Hagrid approach. Hermione hands Harry the Daily Prophet, the front page about the return of Voldemort, the arrest of death eaters, and the innocence of Black. The camera zooms in on the front-page photo of Fudge delivering a press conference, as we fade to that actual conference.

Fudge delivers a short speech, and then apologetically introduces Dumbledore, who gives some wise words. This is intercut with the trio walking towards the carriages that will take them to the train station.

Fin.

daniel4hp

June 24th, 2004, 7:46 pm

Here's the next enstallment of my script. It picks up where my last enstallment left off.

EXT. COUNTRYSIDE -- DAY

The Hogwarts Express is making its way across barren countryside.

INT. HOGWARTS EXPRESS -- DAY

Harry and Ginny are walking down the aisle, looking for an empty compartment.

GINNY
Where're Ron and Hermione?

HARRY
(somewhat bitterly)
Prefect duty.

GINNY
Oh.
(beat)
Why don't we go in here?

They enter:

INT. COMPARTMENT -- CONTINUOUS

The compartment is empty except for a girl sitting alone next to the window -- LUNA LOVEGOOD. She wears a cross necklace and reads a newspaper called the "Quibbler." Her trunk is next to her on the seat. Harry and Ginny sit down opposite.

GINNY
Hey Luna.

LUNA
Hello. Who's he?

GINNY
Harry.

Luna looks at Harry for a moment.

LUNA
Harry Potter?

HARRY
Yeah.

LUNA
I'm Luna. Nice to meet you.

HARRY
Er, nice to meet you too.

LUNA
It must be hard, getting so much attention...

HARRY
Yeah, it can be annoying sometimes.

LUNA
I don't get any... I wonder what it feels like for everyone to know who you are...

HARRY
You get used to it.

LUNA
I suppose you would.

Luna returns to reading her newspaper. Ron and Hermione enter the compartment. Luna looks up.

LUNA
Come to steal my stuff?

Luna puts her hand on her trunk protectively. Ron and Hermione look slightly taken aback.

GINNY
(sighing)
They haven't come to take you stuff, Luna.

HERMIONE
We're friends of Harry.

LUNA
Oh, hi. It's just... people often try to steal my stuff.

Luna removes her trunk from the seat and Ron and Hermione sit down.

HARRY
Why do people try to steal your stuff?

LUNA
I don't know...

HERMIONE
Is that the Quibbler?

LUNA
Yes. My dad's the editor.

HERMIONE
(raising an eyebrow)
Your dad's the editor for the Quibbler?

LUNA
Yes, he is. Have you got a problem with that?

HERMIONE
Oh no, not at all. It's just...

RON
Say, would anyone like any chocolate frogs?

EXT. COUNTRYSIDE -- NIGHT

The Hogwarts Express, light pouring from its windows, continues to make its way across the countryside. Heavy rain splashes against the windows.

DISSOLVE TO:

EXT. HOGSMEADE STATION -- NIGHT

It is still raining heavilly. Students are making their way out of the station. A voice -- that of PROFESSOR GRUBBLY-PLANK -- is calling to first years.

PROFESSOR GRUBBLY-PLANK
First years over here!

Harry, Ron, Hermione, and Ginny are walking through the croud. As they pass, various people point and whisper to their neighbors.

HARRY
Where's Hagrid?

RON
Dunno... Hagrid's never been missing before, has he?

They eye Professor Grubbly-Plank.

HARRY
Maybe he just got a cold or something...

HERMIONE
C'mon. Let's go get into a carriage.

They walk out of the station.

EXT. OUTSIDE HOGSMEADE STATION -- MOMENTS LATER

A thestral, harnessed to the front of a carriage, paws the ground. Harry, Ron, Hermione, and Ginny approach the carriage. Harry eyes the thestral.

HARRY
What d'you reckon those are?

RON
What what are?

HARRY
Those things pulling the carriages. I've never seen them before.

RON
Seen what? There's nothing pulling the carriages.

HARRY
(pointing at thestral)
That. There. The thing harnessed to the front of the carriage.

RON
Are you crazy? There's nothing there.

Harry looks at Ron.

HARRY
You mean... you can't see them?

RON
See what? C'mon, let's get into the carriage before we drown.

Ron gets in the carriage, but Harry stays outside, staring at the thestral. He looks down the row of carriages -- harnassed to the front of each one is a thestral.

LUNA (O.S.)
Don't worry. I can see them too.

Harry turns and sees Luna.

HARRY
You can see them?

LUNA
Oh yes. They've always been there. Don't worry.

Harry and Luna climb into the carriage. The long line of carriages slowly start moving along the muddy dirt road. From outside the window of his carriage, we see Harry staring out, a confused look on his face.

SORTING HAT (V.O.)
And now the Sorting Hat is here, and you all know the score: I sort you into Houses because that is what I'm for, but this year I'll go further, listen closely to my song: though condemned I am to plit you, still I worry that its wrong, though I must filfill my duty and must quarter every year, still I wonder whether sorting may not bring the end I fear.

INT. THE GREAT HALL -- NIGHT

Hundreds of STUDENTS sit in the Great Hall watching the Sorting Hat recite its song. Behind the stool on which the hat sits is a large group of first years. Hagrid is missing from the staff table.

SORTING HAT
Oh, know the perils, read the signs, the warning history shows, for our Hogwarts is in danger, from external, deadly foes and we must unite insider her or we'll fromble from within, I have told you, I have warned you, let the sorting now begin.

The students clap as the Sorting Hat ends its recitation. A cough is heard from the staff table.

PROFESSOR UMBRIDGE
Hem, hem.

PROFESSOR UMBRIDGE stands up and bustles up to the podium.

PROFESSOR UMBRIDGE
Before we begin the sorting ceremony, I would like to say a few words.

At the Gryffindor table, students are exchaging looks, raising their eyebrows.

HARRY
Who's she?

RON
Doesn't she know how things go around here?

HERMIONE
Apparently not.

PROFESSOR UMBRIDGE
I am Professor Umbridge, your new Defense Against the Dark Arts teacher. I am also Senior Undersecretary to the Minister of Magic, and High Inquisitor of Hogwarts.

RON
She's what?

PROFESSOR UMBRIDGE
In this final function, I would like to formally welcome you all to a new year at Hogwarts. It's so nice to see so many happy little faces smiling up at me.

Around the hall students are staring up at Umbridge with confused or glassy-eyed expressions.

PROFESSOR UMBRIDGE
I very much look forward to getting to know all of you, and I'm sure we'll be very good friends. Hem hem.
(beat)
The Ministry of Magic considers the education of young witches and wizards to be of vital importance. For this reason, the Ministry of Magic feels it to be essential that measures be taken to ensure that Hogwarts is headed in the right direction. As your new High Inquisitor, it will be my job to report back to the Minister of Magic so that he can take appropriate action to ensure that Hogwarts' standards remain high. While every headmaster and headmistress brings something new to Hogwarts, progress for progress' sake must be be discouraged, and while some changes will be for the better, others will, in the fullness of time, be recognized as errors of judgement. Let us therefore move into a new era of openness, effectiveness, and accountability, intent on preserving what ought to be preserved, perfecting what needs to be perfected, and pruning wherever we find practices that ought to be prohibitted. Thank-you.

INT. HALLWAYS -- NIGHT

Hermione is leading FIRST YEARS through the hall. Harry and Ron are walking along next to her.

HERMIONE
Come on! Gryffindor Common Room this way!

RON
So this new Umbridge woman... Fudge sent her to spy on us.

As they walk through the hall, STUDENTS turn to look at Harry, whispering to their neighbors.

HERMIONE
By the sounds of it, she's going to do more than spy on us.

HARRY
What do you mean?

HERMIONE
"Take appropriate action to ensure that Hogwarts' standards remain high..."? "move into a new era of openness, effectiveness, and accountability"? By the time this year is over, we may be in a new Hogwarts.

DRACO is walking towards them, CRABBE and GOYLE at his side.

DRACO
Oh look! It's Potter! I heard they tried to expell you this summer. Guess they don't think that people who have fits every five minutes ought to be around other people... Lucky Dumbledore was there to save you.
(leaning in closer)
But if I were you, I wouldn't count on him to be there much longer... now that she's here.

INT. GRYFFINDOR BOYS' DORMITORY -- NIGHT

SEAMUS, DEAN, NEVILLE, and Ron are unpacking their trunks. They look around as Harry enters.

SEAMUS
Oh, it's you.

HARRY
Something the matter?

DEAN
His mam didn't want him to come back to Hogwarts because... er...

HARRY
(confused)
Because of what?

SEAMUS
Because of you... and Dumbledore.

HARRY
So she believes the "Daily Prophet"? Thinks I'm a liar and Dumbledore's an old fool?

SEAMUS
Yeah... something like that.
(beat)
So... what did happen the night... you know... Cedric died.

HARRY
Why don't you go and read the "Daily Prophet" like your mum?

SEAMUS
Don't you have a go at my mam!

HARRY
I'll have a go at anyone who calls me a bloody liar!

SEAMUS
**** you!

HARRY
If you have a problem sharing a drom with me, go and ask McGonagall if you can change!

SEAMUS
Maybe I will! You're a madman!

Harry strides over to Seamus, grabs him around the neck, and pins him to the wall.

HARRY
Don't. Call. Me. A. Madman!

SEAMUS
You're a ****ing madman!

Harry punches Seamus in the jaw, then releases him. Seamus falls to the floor. Harry strides over to his bed.

HARRY
Anyone else have a problem being in the same dorm as me?

NEVILLE
My gran 's always said You-Know-Who would come back one day. She says if Dumbledore says he's back, he's back.

Seamus gets up from the floor.

SEAMUS
Dumbledore's been sacked from the Wizengamot and the International Confederation of Wizards. He's lost his marbles.

Seamus climbs into bed and pulls the curtains around him. Harry falls back on his bed.

INT. CORRIDOR -- NIGHT

ON BLACK

Harry's heart is beating slightly faster than normal.

FADE IN

The large, dark door looms at the end of the corridor. Harry is walking down a corridor, a look of longing on his face. Harry slowly begins to walk faster. His heartbeat increases as he nears the door. Harry reaches out his hand and grabs the door handle. He turns it and pulls, then pushes, but nothing happens. Harry shakes the door handle, but the door refuses to open.

CUT TO:

INT. DEFENSE AGAINT THE DARK ARTS ROOM -- DAY

"Defense Against the Dark Arts: A Return to Basic Principles is written on the chalk board. In front of it stands Professor Umbridge.

PROFESSOR UMBRIDGE
I believe that during the past few years, you have received some, er, unorthodox teaching. At one point, you were even taught, I am told, by a dangerous half-breed.

Harry, sitting in the front row, tries to get up, but Ron and Hermione, on either side of him, hold him down.

PROFESSOR UMBRIDGE
I am here to remedy that. You will all be pleased to know that this year, we will be following a theory-based, ministry approved curriculum of defensive magic. Please --

HERMIONE
Professor Umbridge? You say we will be following --

PROFESSOR UMBRIDGE
When you wish to speak in my class, you should raise your hand and I will call on you.

Hermione raises her hand.

PROFESSOR UMBRIDGE
Yes, Miss...

HERMIONE
Granger. You say we will be following a theory-based curriculum. Does that mean we will not actually be doing any magic?

PROFESSOR UMBRIDGE
Unless you expect to be attacked in my classroom, there is no need for you to practice the magic.

HERMIONE
But isn't the whole point of Defense Against the Dark Arts --

PROFESSOR UMBRIDGE
Miss Granger, are you a Ministry approved educational expert? I don't think you are really qualified to say what the "whole point" of any class is.

HARRY
What good is theory going to be --

PROFESSOR UMBRIDGE
Your hand is not raised, Mr. Potter!

Harry ignores this statement.

HARRY
...in the real world?

Professor Umbridge comes around her desk, walks over to Harry, and kneals down in front of his desk.

PROFESSOR UMBRIDGE
(softly)
This is school, Mr. Potter. Not the real world.

HARRY
So we're not supposed to be prepared for what's waiting out there?

PROFESSOR UMBRIDGE
(softly)
There's nothing "waiting out there," Mr. Potter.

HARRY
(loudly)
Then how did Cedric Diggory die?

Professor Umbridge stands up and walks back to her desk. She turns and faces the class.

PROFESSOR UMBRIDGE
Cedric Diggory's death was a tragic accident. Now, if you will all please turn to page five and read --

Harry stands up.

HARRY
(loudly)
Cedric Diggory's death was not an accident! He was murdered by Voldemort, and I saw it!

PROFESSOR UMBRIDGE
Come here, Mr. Potter.

Harry defiantly walks up to Professor Umbridge's desk. Professor Umbridge is writing a note. She finishes and folds it.

PROFESSOR UMBRIDGE
Kindly take this note to Professor McGonagall.

Harry turns and walks up the center aisle towards the door.

PROFESSOR UMBRIDGE
(to class)
Now, you have been led to believe that He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named has returned. This is a lie.

Harry, almost to the door, turns around.

HARRY
(shouting)
It is not a lie! I saw him come back.

PROFESSOR UMBRIDGE
Mr. Potter, please leave my classroom. You are to take the note to Professor McGonagall.

INT. McGONAGALL'S OFFICE -- DAY

PROFESSOR McGONAGALL is standing behind her test, a stern look on her face. She is holding Professor Umbridge's note in her hands.

PROFESSOR McGONAGALL
Is it true that you told Professor Umbridge that you say Mr. Diggory killed by You-Know-Who?

HARRY
(not looking at her)
Yes.

PROFESSOR MCGONAGALL
You must be careful, Potter. You know to whom she reports.

HARRY
Yes.

PROFESSOR MCGONAGALL
You must not lose your temper around her again, Potter. Especially during your detention.

Harry looks up.

HARRY
Detention?

INT. UMBRIDGE'S OFFICE -- NIGHT

There is a nock on the door. Umbridge looks up.

PROFESSOR UMBRIDGE
Come in!

Harry enters.

PROFESSOR UMBRIDGE
Good evening, Mr. Potter.

HARRY
(dully)
Good evening, Professor Umbridge.

PROFESSOR UMBRIDGE
I see your manners have improved already. Now, sit down. You'll be doing some lines for me.

Umbridge motions to a small desk and Harry sits down. Umbridge gives him a parchment and quill.

PROFESSOR UMBRIDGE
There you go. Get started. I'll tell you when you can stop -- I think you should go until the message... sinks in. Write, "I must not tell lies."

HARRY
There's no ink...

PROFESSOR UMBRIDGE
(smiling)
Oh, you won't need any ink.

Harry picks up the quill and begins to write, but no sooner does he start than he let's out a gasp of pain. On the paper, "I" is written in what appears to be shining red ink. However, "I" is also cut into the back of his hand.

PROFESSOR UMBRIDGE
Is there anything wrong?

HARRY
(grimacing)
No.

He bends over the paper again and finishes the sentence. As he writes, the words are etched into the back of his hand. The blood on the back of his hand shines for a few seconds before the words heal over. Harry pauses.

EXT. MIDEVAL COURTYARD -- DAY -- FLASBACK

MOS. The scene is colored in sepia tones. Many JEWS wait in a long line as several mideval monks walk up and down the row.

INTERCUT BETWEEN UMBRIDGE'S OFFICE AND MIDEVAL COURTYARD

Harry begins writing again, the words etching themselves in the back of his hand.

A monk who resembles Professor Umbridge pulls out a scalpel, grabs hold of one of the Jews' hands, and begins to carve a Star of David into the back of it.

"I must not tell lies" continues to be carved into the back of Harry's hands.

The monk finishes carving the Star of David and let's go of the hand. It falls down to the Jew's side, bloody flowing from the cuts.

Blood oozes out of the tip of the quill. Several lines of "I must not tell lies," all written in Harry's own blood, fill the top part of the parchment.

Smiling, the monk walks over to the next Jew in the line and picks up one of his hands. He begins to carve a Star of David onto the back of it as well.

Harry continues to write "I must not tell lies" onto the parchment. Umbridge, sitting at her desk, watches him, a smile on her face.

The monk walks to the next Jew and grabs one of his hands and begins to carve a Star of David into it.

The entire parchment is now covered with "I must not tell lies."

Blood flows freely from the Star of David carved into a Jew's hand.

Harry pauses from his writing, but the back of his hand no longer heals over. Blood is now freely flowing from the cuts that spell out "I must not tell lies."

The monk pockets the bloody scalpel and looks at his work. Every Jew in the line now has blood running down from the back of one hand. The monk smiles.

Umbridge smiles at Harry.

PROFESSOR UMBRIDGE
Has the message sunk in yet?

Harry does not answer.

PROFESSOR UMBRIDGE
Let me see your hand.

Harry holds out his bleeding hand. Umbridge feels it with her own hand.

PROFESSOR UMBRIDGE
Very good, Potter. That should teach you a lesson.

With one finger, Umbridge scoops some blood off Harry's hand. She smilies broadly at him.

PROFESSOR UMBRIDGE
You may go now.

Harry turns and walks toward the door. In the background, Umbridge licks the finger on which she has collected some of Harry's blood.

tyro

December 5th, 2004, 6:12 pm

Wow, I've been away a long time, not sure if anyone is still reading this post.

Anyway, all I can say is the power of nidsight is one of the most powerful forces in the world. Please don't read my script, please.

I have more to say on the comments mentioned, and a lot more to say on OOTP. I don't really know where to start, some petty things regarding what a script is, the influence of the screenwriter, some annoying things about people writing in caps, and the major things regarding plots and subplots.

This seems to be a major problem with the HP books, or to sum the problem up in a word, love. Love is the problem when it comes to adapting Harry Potter, because people simply love the books. They love the characters, the scenes, the dialogue and the description. They love the books and can't bear to see them changed. Love is one of the screenwriter's greatest problems, yet without it they're lost. You need a great deal of love, yet, rather ironically, one thing you cannot love is your work. At least your work in progress. You can't become attached to single scenes, or a piece of dialogue, or a piece of description, you must become utterly ruthless in your search for every scene, every idea. 99%, maybe a little less, of what we call instinct is in fact habit. And habit breeds only one thing, cliche, the curse of modern cinema which is destroying the art.

Break this habit, don't fall in love with certain parts of the book, or you will be blinded by the true beauty beneath. For when we strip away the outer layers, and really get down the nitty gritty, the cogs and chains of the innermost workings, we find the things that ultimately give birth to what we really love.

Now, lets bring it back into perspective, ah yes, OOTP. Dan was right in saying it's the plots not the certain things that we need to be focusing on. Yet greater analysis is still needed. We must look at what the book, the story, says . If we're lucky, it'll say something, and if we're really lucky, it might be the truth, and I suspect it might be, as nothing but the truth can bind millions of people around the globe. A story of archetypal power, a story that takes us to place we don't know, yet within that place we find our place, ourselves, no matter if we're in America, England, Japan or Mars. Maybe not Mars. Martians may not like HP because they're not humans. For since the dawn of time, humans have asked themselves one thing:
How do I live my life?
Do I pay attention to my social responsibilities, do I adhere to the contraints put upon me, or do I just become, ultimately, selfish and listen to what I want. This is the major question, and why story has been with humankind ever since we sat around the fire. For within story we seek this answer. Look at great stories and you'll find they address the question, Casablanca being a supreme example.
Let's look at HP, now Harry has extreme inner turmoil - his murdered parents, a Dark Lord. He has more personal conflicts between, obviously, people. People like his teachers, his friends and his enemies. He has extra-personal conflict as well, his environment, this whole magic thing. Now is Harry to serve his inner needs and find out about his past, or is he to follow society. I hope in Book 7 these two things don't turn out to be the same thing, for example he must kill Voldermort for societies benefit and for his. In fact, I think I have a reasonable idea as to how the series will turn out.

Choice through conflict, nothing more.

Anyway, each book takes on slightly different approach to this question of Harry's. OOTP being the most sophisticated yet, with adult politics playing a role, and we all loved the conflict raised by his dreams and Occlumency. Should he adhere to social orders and learn Occlumency, or shall he serve his inner curiosity? Anyway, what does OOTP say?

Well, Harry's major crisis decision comes when he (thinks he) knows that Sirius is being held by LV and being tortured to death. His choice, to fly off and rescue Sirius, to stay at Hogwarts and adhere to the social responsibilities - and believe it was an illusion - or let himself be captured by Umbridge. When it comes down to it, it is no choice at all, for we now know Harry pretty well. He's a Gryffindor, his heart on his sleeve.

So he sets off to the MoM, friends in toe. However, when there he's confronted with yet more (greater) antangonistic forces, he is completely lost in the DoM, and then the Death Eater's turn up, he's losing friends left right and centre, yet his inner need never quavers, nor does his desire to follow it. So he continues to believe Sirius is indeed being tortured until ultimately he is going to be killed when, to my horror, the Order arrive. Now, I didn't feel it at the time, but I certainly do now, I think oh my god. For this is the writers greatest sin - Deus Ex Machina. It means God from Machine, and it strips, like a pack of lions eating a zebra, a story of its meaning. A brief look at some films will illustrate my point.
Jurassic Park, a good film, but says nothing:
Running away, and at no hope, the team hope to find a way out when BAM, a T-Rex burst on to the screen, eats the pursuing Velocoraptors, and lets them escape. What does that film say? Nothing. It says if we panic our backsides off, and run like hell, then we will do nothing to aid our escape and ultimately God will give us an ending.
Back in the DoM, if we pursue our inner desires, against greater and greater forces of social antagonism then . . . we will be saved by God, here in the form of the Order bursting in. No. Meaning. No answer to that question.
But, thankfully, the story continues. Ultimately Sirius dies, an ironic theme - ruthlessly pursue your desire and it will kill you, and it continues to be so as Harry pursues Sirius' killer. Now Harry is at the greatest form of Antagonism as LV himself appears. Make no mistake, everything has been thrown at Harry, including the kitchen sink, (look, there's one in the middle of the room for crying out loud.) Anyway, I won't analyse it here, but believe me, in this story, Harry is at the mercy of the villain, and much much more. But then, once again, Dumbledore arrives and we have another Deus Ex Machina, for what does that mean? Just wait while the guy with the beard sorts everything out? No, she redeems herself once more when Harry becomes possessed by LV - now this is the greatest force of antagonism - he's in him! But, and this is the meaning of the story here, when Harry thinks of Sirius, (family, love, serving his inner needs,) the forces of antagonism, which are at their utmost greatest, are quashed with incredible ease. The controlling idea, I believe, goes something like this:

Evil will be conquered when we love.

Simple as that. Now, I'm not going to debate if this is the truth, but, taking this idea, lets look at the subplots.
Grawp - I'm not sure what Plot this is, maybe an Educational for Hagrid, but notice how some elements of the story were kept off-screen, Inciting Incident and Climax. But it's idea is a form of the the controlling idea, evil, personified by Grawp's destructive tendencies, will be conquered by Love, doesn't Hagrid say he's much better now?
Ron - Difficult this one, must be a punitive plot, Ron, whose grand vision of Quidditch is crushed when he finds he's rubbish, yet the evil of his self-doubt is conquered by - we don't know, the climax is kept off-screen, but I believe it something to do with Ron's inner confidence and love of the game, or love of his vision of what he can become.
Cho - aaah, a love plot. What's to stop them? Nothing major, hence not the greatest of love stories, Cho's inner conflicts I suppose. The idea here is of no real relation to the main one, but it has a down ending.

Now the big two.
Umbridge - Evil here personified by Umbridge and the Ministry's contrictions against Hogwarts and, ultimately, Harry. The love, well., what's the Climax, Fudge realises what's happened and relinquishes the constraints. Hmm, a tough one. I don't know, you do the work!
Voldermort - the Plot throughout the series, and thus the Main Plot in OOTP, everything else is a subplot. If you want proof the Inciting Incident is kept off-screen, or page: Umbridge is forced upon Dumbledore, something we learn later on.
Actually I don't know, I'm getting tired and hungry. Anyway, here the controlling idea is proven at its most clearest.

Right, that's the analysis done, now the hypothesesing. What is needed for the film is the same idea conveyed in less time. What parts of the book convey this theme the strongest, bring the forces of antagonism, the 3 levels of conflicts and character delineations to their greatest? Obviosuly the last two, Umbridge and Voldermort. If I was, err, whoever the new screenwriter is, I forget his name I would bring in elements of the other plots into these two, so they have the same effect and meaning. Ulitmately, to do this, as I started by saying, you must not be in love with the outer material. You never know, if you manage to convey the same meaning in less time, then you may have room to put some other plots in.

But that's my conclusion on the OOTP script, I don't think I have anything else to say, I'll reply to any queries gladly, but that's my last word on OOTP. I might say more on the structure, but yeah. My two cents, as it were.