View Full Version : my hopes are so high that your kiss might kill me
October 27th, 2003, 4:38 am
Okay so I started this Fanfiction a while ago, but I decided to restart it. I edited alot of things in it so if you started reading it a while ago I suggest that you reread the little that I had written. lol. Okay here we go.
December 28th, 2003, 2:12 am
I hate potions. I know it is going to be useful in the future, but I wish it was something that i could just drop. It would make my life so much easier, well maybe not THAT much easier, but it would help. Hermione always says that if I try harder than I can do anything, but I know that that's not the truth. I'm just not as smart as she is. I don't have the brains that she does. Wait, maybe if I did try, and I proved I am smart Hermione would like me jusr as much as I like here! Who am I kidding. I'm just a screw up.
She was sitting at the other end of the Common Room working on Transfiguration.
Wow, she's beautiful. Well she wasn't gorgeous or anything, but she had her own beauty to her, kinda like she's pretty but her personality makes her beautiful.
All of a sudden I felt someone sit in the seat next to me. It was Harry. I think he came over here because he saw me looking at Hermione, great, just what I need. I looked back down at my potions essay hoping that he would just ignore what he saw, but I was wrong. I'm always wrong.
"Hey mate hows the potions coming along?"
I can't believe he saw me goggling at Hemrione. It's jsut too embarrassing. I can't even look him in the eye because I could feel myself turning red. I just shrugged. Harry was being silent. I thought that I had tricked Harry out of questioning me, but I was wrong. All of a sudden the next thing I know my books slide out of my eye sight. I looked up, and Harry was holding them with one hand in the air smirking at me.
No matter how hard I try to act like I am busy with something serious Harry can always read right through me. I know what's coming. I know he was gonna start to ask me about Hermione.
“Harry” I said trying to be nonchalant, “Comon I have a lot of work to do. Give me it back.”
Look at him, he just keeps that smirk on his face staring at me ike I am just kidding. Boy, how I hate it when he looks at me like that.
“I saw you looking at her.”
“Who?" I knew it. I have to keep my cool, and try not to panic. I'm terrible with hiding things, especially from Harry.
“You know who I’m talking about Ron. You can’t hide anything from me.”
What do I say? I raised myself from my seat, and grabbed my books from him, and said without looking him in the eyes, “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”, heading for the boy’s dormitories.
I can hear Harry’s foot steps following me. I’m not going to get out of this one easilly. I started going up the stairs faster, but when we got to the top of the stairs, I tried to open the door, but I saw Harry’s hand move infront of my face, and stop the door from opening.
“I saw you looking at her Ron. Just tell me what I already know. Tell me you like her.”
Oh, I hate it when Harry does things like this to me. He can read me so well. I can't look at Harry. “Of course not! How could I like Hermione? She’s my best friend. That’s just weird.”
I tried to open the door again, but Harry was still blocking the door. “You know that I know you too well. Nothing gets by me. You like her just say it.”
“Harry it's 11:00 I have to go to bed. I hardly got any sleep at all last night. Please just let me in.”
“No Ron just say you like her. You can’t hide it from me.”
I’m not getting out of this one. I guess I could tell Harry, I mean he's my best mate. He would never tell anyone. “I don’t like her” I muttered looking at the hard stone steps below. “I love her.”
Silence. I hate silence. I could feel my stomache start to ache. I was getting cramps. I had to get in the dormitories...now. I looked at him and there was that smirk again…I could punched him.
The blood is rising in my face. I grabbed Harry's hand off the door and went into the dormitories without another glance at Harry.
I feel like I am going to be sick. I need sleep…
December 29th, 2003, 3:39 am
Feedback Thread (http://www.cosforums.com/showthread.php?t=22214)
December 30th, 2003, 6:51 am
It's 5:30 in the morning...and I'm awake. I didn't sleep at all last night. I don't know what is wrong with me. It's not like I'm depressed or anything, but I don't know, I just got into bed last night and all of a sudden wasn't tired anymore. I want to get up and maybe stop by the Owlery and mail the letter I had written to Fred and George. I'm curious as to how the Joke Shop is coming along, but if I get up I would be taking the chance of waking someone up, and I'm not really in the mood to talk to anyone.
I looking out the window that's next to my bed always helps me think. It is always so beautiful at this time in the morning. The sun is just about to come up over the horizon. It's making the sky pink. It reminds me of Hermione because it's so beautiful. Hermione...oh, I wish I didn't have to tell Harry last night that I am inlove with her. My head hurts just thinking about it. I didn't want him to know. Nothing personal against Harry, but I didn't want anyone to know. What if he tells her? What if he tells her, and she gets really scared, and uncomfortable, and starts to avoid me? I don't think that I could take that kind of rejection...especially from the girl I love.
I have to stop thinking about this so much. It's as if it's an obsession, but I can't be obsessed anymore, I have to get over her. She doesn't like me I have to find someone that would appreciate me. Yeah, I think I am going to go mail that letter to Fred and George just to take my mind off of her. Getting out of bed is always really hard for me, even when I don't sleep for some reason. The floor creaked. What if I woke someone up? Thank God no one did.
I walked over to the chair and put on my Hogwarts uniform. I figure I'll just go to breakfast straight from the Owlery. When I was done putting my uniform on I grabbed the letter that I had written to Fred and George and tip-toed out of the room.
I am so glad that I made it out without waking anyone up. Now I just have to get to the Owlery...
What's that? I just heard someone yawn. Who could be down in the Common Roon at this hour in the morning? I'll just have to walk right past them, and pretend I didn't see them..yeah, thats a good idea. I took a deep breath before I walked into the Common Room, and I didn't even look at the peson that was in there, but when I was halfway through the room someone called my name.
"Ron?" the voice said
I turned around, it was Hermione....
alrite what do you think? Do you have any feedback????
thanks for reading.
Feedback Thread (http://www.cosforums.com/showthread.php?t=22214)
January 2nd, 2004, 6:15 am
sorry i cant post today i lost what i was supposed to post today so im rewritting it. dont worry ill definatley have it up tomorrow!
January 18th, 2004, 12:42 am
It's Hermione. Just the person that I wanted to run into. I don't what to do. Usually this wouldn't have been a big deal, but that was before I fell inlove with her. Why do I have to make things so awkward all the time?
"Ron...Ron...are you Okay?" Hermione asked trying to catch my eye. She was only a few feet away from me now.
I looked into her eyes...they were so beautiful, and innocent, and everything that I could ever want. But wait...there was something else in her eyes...it was concern, did she care?
My throat became unsually dry, but my palms of my hands were unsually wet.
"I'm- Im fine." I said, my voice is cracking, just my luck. It hasn't done that since the 2nd year. I'm so embarrassed. I staring at the floor thinking...she must think I'm a loser. I can't bare looking at her right now, but I heard her voice.
"Are you sure? You look pale. Maybe you should go back up to bed."
Right away I cleared my throat and said, "No, no I can't. I'm gonna go to the Owlery and mail this letter to Fred and George. Wait...what are you doing up so early?"
I could see Hermione turning red and now she was the one that began to stutter. "Nothing...I- I- I-....", but she was cut off all of a sudden I heard a door open and then close from the boys dormitory. It was Seamus. What would he be doing up this early? Then I looked at Hermione her eyes were closed. She seemed nervous, but why? Wait a minute! I can piece this together!
I was getting mad. "Wait a minute you..." I said looking at Hermione "and you..." I said looking at Semus. I paused I didn't no what to say. My throat was closing I couldn't, I couldn't think.
I need to get out of here. I walked very fast, but not at a run out of the Common Room. With the sounds of Hermione yelling, "Wait! No Ron! Come back!" after me.
I opened the portriat hole and was now at a run. I ran down the hall. When I turned the corner I stopped. I slide down against the wall and brokedown...
alrite tell me what you think. FEEDBACK.
Feedback Thread (http://www.cosforums.com/showthread.php?t=22214)
January 19th, 2004, 1:22 am
Thank you to amritos for taking the time to post some feedback...but i could really use some more. You know just to make sure people are reading. So try to post some more feedback for me. Thanks! and enjoy!
Ron you're so stupid. I cant believe you even thought that a girl like Hermione wouldn't be taken by someone else. I could kill Seamus!
I looked down at the cold floor I was sitting on while running my hands through my hair. My face was burning. I knew that if I looked in a mirror that I would be as red as a tomato. It always happened when I was mad. I looked up at the wall that was across the hall from me, but I couldn't see clearly...there were ti manytears that filled my eyes. I blinked and the tears ran down my cheeks. I quickly whipped them off. I hate crying. Whenever I cry I feel like I'm a little kid.
Im so stupid. I'm never going to be good enough for her. All she sees me as is a pathetic loser. Harry probably has to pay her to even be friends with me. If I died she probably wouldn't even notice. Wait...she would notice but she wouldn't care.
I love her. I love her more then anything in the world. I remeber the first time I started to love her. I mean I liked her since the 4th year, but I didn't love her like I do now.
I remeber It was six months ago on July 31st, Harry's birthday. I remeber because we were having a big party for him at the Burrow. Hermione came a week before to stay with us for the rest of the summer, and Harry came the day before his birthday. Well, we were having a party for Harry except it was a formal party. Everyone was dressed up, but Hermione didn't fit into her dress robes anymore so she wore a muggle gown. I remeber I was talking to Fred and George about their Joke Shop, and Hermione walked downstairs in her gown, and she took my breath away.
I know what you're thinking...I fell for her becuase she was beautiful that night? No, no that wasn't it. I think it was that night after everyone had gone to sleep...probably around 3 am, and I couldn't sleep. I decided to go downstairs and sit on the porch to think and stuff. Well, I went down there, and who was sitting on the porch was Hermione.
I look at her and asked to sit down, and she nodded. It was only then that I realized she was crying. Her eyes were all puffy and stuff. I asked her what wrong and she she showed me a letter from her parents, her grandmother had just died. We stayed up the rest of the night talking. and even with her eyes puffy and bloodshot and her face red she was beautiful. It took me a while to get her to smile, but when she finally did that was it. That was when I realized I was inlove with her.
Ever since then she's all I think about, and now shes with Seamus. Oh, my life is over. I don't know what I am going to do. I love her, but I'll never have her. At this point I was hysterically crying, curled up on the floor like a ball. The floor was cold, but I didn't care. After a while I fell asleep until someone woke me up....
sorry my posts aren't that long but I like leaving u in suspense! haha yea Im a loser. OK so just give me some feedback! thanks!
January 21st, 2004, 4:35 am
i havnt received any feedback. does taht mean no one likes the story? if i dont get any feedback soon then im going to stop writing it. :upset:
March 15th, 2004, 9:44 pm
woahhh havnt written anything in a while. ok well if u want me to keep going then jsut go to the feedback and tell me. thanks.
April 6th, 2004, 10:25 pm
WOAHHHH...its been awhile. Hhaha. OK so here we go. If i ever stop updating again you can private message me if u want to remind me. OK so enjoy!
"Ron, Ron! Wake up!"
I opened my eyes as much as I could (Which wa not very much). I looked up to see who was shaking me awake. A tall outline was standing infront of me. I rested my head on the ground again. My head was throbbing so much it hurt to even think.
I finally said, "Harry? Harry is that you?" Boy did that take alot of effort. After saying one sentence I was breathing rapidly, like I had run a marathon.
I felt Harry bend over me and examin my face. It was silent for a moment. I knew he was worried, but all I wanted him to do right at that moment was to go away and just leave me there to die. I heard a sigh and felt Harry take a seat next to me. "Ron, how did you get out here?"
I didn't answer. Harry waited a few moments, and then said, "Comon' lets get you cleaned up." I tried to lift my body off the ground, but I couldn't. I let my head hit the floor and just laid there for a second breathing even heavier than I was before.
Harry stood up and looked over me biting his nail. He always did that when he was thinking. He then bent down and lifted me up. He carried me to the portrait of the Fat Lady. She looked at us up and down, and then said with disgust in her voice, "What happened to him?"
I think Harry heard the same tone as me because he just said, "None of your business."
The Fat Lady then replied in an offended voice, "Fine! Password?"
The portrait swung open and Harry carried me inside. When we walked into the Common Room everyone went silent. I was so embarrassed. This was the last thing I needed. I looked around. Atleast Hermione wasn't there. I would have killed myself on the spot of she was. Harry carried me back up to out dormitories and laid me down on my bed. Thank god Neville, Dean, and Seamus wasn't in the room. Especially Seamus. Would have killed him.
After a few mintues of laying on my bed I felt my eyes start to get lighter. I opened them up. I saw Harry sitting on the floor panting. I muttered to him, "Sorry."
Harry got up and dusted his pants off while saying, "Don't worry about it." I turned away. I could feel is eyes staring at me. I didn't want to talk about it. All I wanted was to be left alone. After a few minutes Harry began pacing back and forth saying, "How long am I going to have to stare at you before you realize I'm waiting for you to tell me what you're thinking?"
I looked up at him. He had that stupid smirk on his face. I hated that smirk. Everytime he gave it to me I felt like he was saying "I know everything, and I am smarter than you." Of course he does because he's the "Famous Harry Potter". I felt my blood boiling. I turned away trying to hide my anger. Last time me and Harry got in a fight it was a disaster becuase he always thinks he's right.
"You know Ron," Harry started to say, "I already know what happened, so you can't hide it from me. I'm just trying to get you to tell me how you're feeling at the moment."
"How do you know?" I snapped.
"Well," Harry began while walking over to the bed across from me and sitting down, "Hermione is my best friend you know. As soon as it happened she ran up here and told me. She was reallky worried about you Ron."
"Yeah, right." I mumbled under my breath.
I walked over to the window that was across the room. I looked out it. The sky was clear, the sun was shining, and in the distance you could see the Slytherin quidditch team practicing on the quidditch pitch. I could feel the anger in me going down. "You know," I said, "I really do love her. I am inlove with her, and she doesn't even care. She just ignores me and gives every other guy her undivided attention. Even if she doesn't like me, I'm supposed to be her best friend. What kind of best friend ignores you? And then, she starts to go out with Seamus. I can't take it Harry, honestly I can't. She hurts me so much. I don't know what to do."
There was a pause. I heard Harry slowly approach me. I felt him put his hand on my shoulder. He looked at me and whispered, "It isn't Seamus mate, it's Dean."
I sighed. This is just great. My heart felt as if it had been ripped out of my chest. I can't believe it. I walked over to my bed and fell onto it face down into my pillow. After a few seconds I said to Harry, "Harry, if you don't mind I think I need some alone time."
There was silence for a few seconds, and then he whispered, "Sure." and I heard him walk over to the door slowly open it and then it close quietly.
ok feedback would be amazing. I started a thread so go ahead! thanks for reading.
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