Why didn't Lupin visit Harry earlier?

[LizZz]

I’m sorry if there is already a tread about this, I did a search but didn’t find one.
If there is one be my guest to close this one.

Harry meets Lupin for the first time in the Hogwartz express, he didn’t knew that Lupin was a good friend from his father until the end of that school year. What reason had Lupin to not visit Harry earlier? Harry was the son of his best friend. Didn’t let the Dursley’s visit him Harry or didn’t he want to visit Harry? But why? Was he ashamed or afraid of something?
And later when Harry was already in Hogwartz why didn’t let Lupin Harry know about him? He most have know Harry was a member of the wizard community now and that Harry knew very little about his parent. (Hagrid gave Harry a photo album with pictures of his parents, Hagrid had sent letters to old school friends asking for pictures, and of course he must have sent a letter to Lupin)
So my actually question: What is the reason that Lupin was too afraid or ashamed to let Harry know about his existence?
I think he blamed himself for James and Lily’s deaths, he believed he should have warned them for Sirius or he was hurt that his friends thought he was the traitor.
Any thoughts?

[filius]

I think he thougth it would have been a sensitive issue to Harry. Also, I don't think there was a very appropriate time for Lupin to mention it to Harry.

[Classical_Wizar]

there some thought that James and Lupin had a fall out Did James and Lupin fall out? (http://www.cosforums.com/showthread.php?t=23257&highlight=Lupin%2AHarry) or maybe he was unaware of Harry if he didnt show up to James and Lily's wedding Why wasn't Lupin at the Potters wedding?
(http://www.cosforums.com/showthread.php?t=20558&highlight=Lupin%2AHarry) then he might not have been aware that Harry was even born until he first saw him on the train and was surpised to see a young James there, or until Dumbledore asked Lupin and told him about James and Lily's son. Another thread is the all about Lupin one All About Remus Lupin v3 (http://www.cosforums.com/showthread.php?t=31459&highlight=Lupin%2AHarry)

[miss7]

Hmm. that's interesting, I haven't really thought about it before.
Obviously, Lupin could not approach Harry until he was in Hogwarts, because Dumbledore wanted Harry to live a "normal" life until he was if age to join the school.

I think, after that, Lupin wanted Harry to get to know him gradually, as first his teacher, then actually as his father's best friend. At the same time, I'm sure Lupin feels slightly reponsible/or guilty, as we can see in OotP when Harry enters Snape's mind and tells Sirius about it, Lupin says he regrets not really ever stopping them (Sirius and James), from doing their mischief. I think Lupin is a person who always feels responsible for everything.

[Isaraniel]

then he might not have been aware that Harry was even born until he first saw him on the train and was surpised to see a young James there, or until Dumbledore asked Lupin and told him about James and Lily's son.

How could he not know about Harry? Everyone knows him, since he defeated Voldemort, remember ;)

[Classical_Wizar]

Judging from Lupin's clothes he might not have access to whatever means the wizards get. Maybe he was in a far away place or something.

[DragonBlk17]

Lupin probably didn't want to tell Harry that he was his father's friend until he met Sirius possibly?
If Sirius,Lupin and Peter were all in the same room then it would of been easier to tell him that they were all friend's of James.

[no1 potter fan]

Well the Dursley's definately wouldn't let Harry visit Lupin because they hate wizards and anything abnormal and Lupin wore very scruffy clouths(sp?) so Petunia wouldn't let her family within a mile of him. Also how would the Durslys know that Lupin was a friend of Harry's parents?

Lupin also might have thought that Harry was very sesitive about his parents death and didn't like talking about them Because on the train when the dementor came into Harry's carrage Harry heard his parent's voices before they died. And when they are practising with the boggart in prisonar of Azkaban Harry nearly started crying. Lupin also might have been scared because it might have lead onto the subject of him being a werewolf which he wanted to keep private.

[RemusLupinFan]

I think the reason Lupin didn't come to see Harry earlier was because he probably assumed Harry was living with family and was therefore in good hands and being cared for. Remember, Sirius thought that Harry would much rather live with the Dursleys than come and live with him at the end of book 3. So I think Lupin most likely didn't know how awful the Dursleys really were.

Lupin also may have felt it wasn't his place to just visit Harry out of the blue. After all, it was Sirius who was officially Harry's godfather, and even though he was in Azkaban, Lupin may have felt awkward trying to get closer to Harry.

Also, Dumbledore insisted on Harry living in the Muggle world until he got his Hogwarts letter. That would mean no visits from wizards. Plus, I don't think the Dursleys would have let anyone in who claimed to know Harry or Harry's parents because that would more than likely mean they are from the wizarding world.

[Selyr Black]

I think it's just a small detail that won't be relevant in future books. JKR probably found it unnessessary to include a character in the book that would have no relevance until the third book itself. It makes the appearance of the character more dramatic. If you already knew that Lupin existed, and that he was a werewolf, would you have been half as shocked when you "found out" later on in the book?

[Tom Bombadil]

I like all of these theories. But I also would like to add that one of the greatest tactics in warfare is divide and conquer. We have seen many instances of treachery which is a great way to divide your enemy. I think there was some sort of mistrust amongst the friends. James finally figured Weasel Worm didn't have enough kahunas to be a traitor so he picked him for his secret. Sirius was probably a little miffed by this when he found out. By the time Sirius figured out what happened and confronted Scumbag Worm Boy, he was in prison shortly after and didn't have a chance to tell Lupin what had happened. Lupin had to have known there was some sort of problem with his old friends. AND he didn't know the full story until PoA. I would imagine this would have been a huge relief for Lupin.

I also think Sirius and James were better friends than Lupin was with either of them. When James was killed, Lupin couldn't be sure what Harry had heard and probably was a little nervous about how he would be received. Besides, I know it's nice in the book to have people who were good friends in school remain so for the rest of their lives, but really.... how many friends do we keep in contact with? Even less so with their children. I can honestly say that 20 years out of high school I talk with one friend and that's about once a year and we live about 5 miles from each other.

[Fool]

First, no wizards were allowed to truly contact Harry before he came to Hogwarts at the age of 11, and he probably would not have understood much about the situation even if they had contacted him. That leaves just 2 years in which Lupin could have gotten in touch with him. Well, during terms I doubt outside visitors are allowed to call upon the students. This would leave only the two summers, and I highly doubt the Dursleys would allow a wizard to visit Harry.

Then there's the matter of what Lupin does for a living. He clearly has a hard time finding work, and therefore (prior to working for the Order) probably has to travel a lot and on short notice to work whenever he can.

[Danluver182]

Well before he was actually at hogwarts he didn't know he was a Wizard so that would've been kinda akward. And when he got to Hogwarts I'm sure Lupin felt it a sensitive subject for Harry. Maybe he thought Harry wouldn't accept him because he's a werewolf. There could be lots of reasons. MAybe he was just to busy and couldn't find the time?

[Inkymouse]

Lupin probably just didn't feel it was his place to speak to him, and surely if you could barely remember your parents it would be a bit bizarre to get an owl saying "Hey Harry, I am Remus Lupin, you don't know me but I was a friend of your parents, they thought that maybe I was the one keeping Voldemort informed of their movements.. etc etc"

Plus perhaps it would remind Lupin too much of the three best friends he ever had, and bring back the horror that he must have felt when he (thought) lost all three of them in one day. It was probably better for the friendship to come about gradually rather than having it forced. It probably resulted in Harry feeling more comfotable and open around him.

[Romy]

How could he not know about Harry? Everyone knows him, since he defeated Voldemort, remember ;)
:agree: Apart from that we know James and Lily picked their secret keeper only a short time before they died and we know that they considered Remus a possibility to be the traitor. And we know Dumbledore (I think it was Dumbledore :huh: or was it McGonagall?) said that they were aware that someone close to the Potters was passing on information to Voldemort. So he must have been still good friends with them when Harry was a baby.

[fleur magique]

Possibly it was that he didn't know where Harry lived. I'm sure that after Voldemort attacked him the ministry and Dumbledore tried to keep it a secret from people where he was staying. Or it could have been that he went to visit Harry as a baby and either Vernon or Petunia told him to never come back.

[grrliz]

This is random and farfetched, but perhaps there was some sort of Ministry Decree issued after the Potter's death that stated "Thou Shalt Not Have Contact With Harry Potter Until He Returns To The Magical World During His First Year At Hogwarts"? I know there are those random wizards who shake his hands or say hello to Harry in the street when he's a kid (at the start of PS / SS), but those people could just not be following the rules, thinking that a random hello can't possibly do any harm or whatever. Lupin, being a mostly straight-arrow type, would have kept his distance for that reason. It's not like anyone else (people important to the story, that is) tried to contact Harry in the ten years he was at the Dursley's after his parent's death.

[aggiefan1206]

I just think mabe the third book was the right place to introduce Lupin. I dont know what it would have done to introduce him later. IM sure lupin cared about harry even before he actually met him in PoA. I like where Jk introduces him intot he story how much harry learns from him

Just wondering but how did some of you find out that Lupin wasent in the picture or did not attend the potters wedding. Mabe he just wasent in that picture. Lupin is a good guy im sure that mabe he did think harry would be fine with the dursleys. Im sure lupin will definatly be helping harry out a lot in the future books

[Gwenog Jones]

I think it would have been kind of weird if some random man went to the Dursley's and said, "Hi, I was James's friend and I want to get to know Harry." First of all, Petunia would not want to be seen letting a man in shabby clothes coming to her house. Also, how could they know who he really is. How and when was Lupin supposed to go see Harry earlier? I doubt that he could have visited him at Hogwarts, because that would be kind of strange too. I think PoA was a good place to introduce Lupin into Harry's world.

[sheilajsn]

Well, I think that the “why he didn’t contacted Harry before Hogwarts” is obvious. As many of you have already mentioned, Dumbledore didn’t want Harry to know he was a wizard until he was ready. So, we know Lupin was close enough to Dumbledore and trusted him, so I don’t see Lupin questioning Dumbledore’s motives. Now, why he didn’t contact him before? (book 1 and 2) and why when they finally met he didn’t tell him he was James’ friend? Well, you have to understand Lupin is very cautious. I bet he really wanted to meet Harry and to be there for him, but it was awkward for him. And when he finally met Harry, I think he was trying to become his friend and gain his trust before telling him about James.
It makes me sad to think that Lupin must have felt guilty for not being there for Harry when he was growing up. With James dead and Sirius in Azkaban, he must have thought it was his duty to look after him. And he is so kind and caring that it must have been difficult for him to stay away. An of course, there’s the little detail of him being a werewolf, he wouldn’t want to put Harry in danger, because he knows that he can be very dangerous.

[Elf]

Well, I think people have done a good job of explaining some of the more obvious reasons why Lupin didn't visit Harry, but I'll add my thoughts here as similar as they are.

Dumbledore is the one who makes the important judgement calls concerning Harry. It was Dumbledore who decided Harry should grow up with the Dursleys away from the wizard world so that the infamous events of his life would not distort his upbringing. I would assume that those close to Lily & James, including those in the Order would have known about Dumbldore's decision and respected his reasons. Even in OotP we see that Lupin and the other members abide by Dumbledore's wishes for Harry by not allowing him to know everything about the situation, (for example the prophecy) only what he needs to know. In short, Dumbledore is the final word on Harry's life.

We know that Lupin is a very sensitive and caring person, largely due to the amount of tradgedy he has faced in his own life. Because of this he can understand how hard it would be for Harry to learn all about his past so suddenly. Remember that until shortly before Harry left for Hogwarts he was not even aware that he was a wizard. Can you imagine Lupin showing up on the doorstep of 4 Privet Drive to announce to Harry that everything he has ever believed about his life is a sham? True Hagrid had the honours of fulfilling this task, but Lupin was much too close to James to be the one to do this. There would have been too many things to explain all at once in addition to the basics Harry needed to know: "Yeah, your dad could transform into a stag and your godfather is a convicted murderer and by the way, I'm a werewolf...Wanna go get some butterbeer?" Bad idea and Lupin was smart enough to know it.

When Lupin finally does meet Harry (aside from when Harry was a baby) he is able to hide for awhile under the guise of being nothing more than Harry's teacher. This allows Lupin to very gradually build a relationship with Harry and cautiously reveal certain things about the Marauders' past to him. Had Lupin dumped these things on Harry all at once and too soon, Harry might never have trusted him the way he does. It might have harmed their relationship before it ever had a chance to grow.

As to the allegations that James and Lupin had a falling out, I don't believe this. I think it would have been addressed in the Shrieking Shack scene when everything else was revealed.

Lupin allows Harry to choose to have a friendship with him. He doesn't force his presense in Harry's life. He willingly takes on the role of mentor for Harry because Harry seeks his help in dealing with the Dementors. He treats Harry with love and kindness and wisely respects his boundaries. Lupin knows that just because he was a friend of James', Harry is not obligated to be his friend too. Had Lupin shown up years earlier he would have felt like he was forcing himself into Harry's life and this is not how Lupin treats people. Lupin himself tends to be a private person because of his affliction and he respects Harry's right to be this way too.

[Boneca]

"Yeah, your dad could transform into a stag and your godfather is a convicted murderer and by the way, I'm a werewolf...Wanna go get some butterbeer?"

Oh, to see the faces of the Dursleys if that really happened... :rotfl:

[Scarlet Tears]

Excellent post, Elf :) You read Lupin's character very accurately, especially in this part:

Lupin allows Harry to choose to have a friendship with him. He doesn't force his presense in Harry's life. He willingly takes on the role of mentor for Harry because Harry seeks his help in dealing with the Dementors. He treats Harry with love and kindness and wisely respects his boundaries. Lupin knows that just because he was a friend of James', Harry is not obligated to be his friend too. Had Lupin shown up years earlier he would have felt like he was forcing himself into Harry's life and this is not how Lupin treats people. Lupin himself tends to be a private person because of his affliction and he respects Harry's right to be this way too.

I also wanted to add that seeing Harry for the first time (well, grown up anyway) was probably a very emotional and awkward experience for him. Seeing the son of one of his deceased best friends, especially one that resembles him so closely, probably brought back floods of memories from when James was alive as well as those concerning the circumstances surrounding his death. It seems to me that Lupin might have tried to put off meeting Harry until he had overcome most of his grief, and that when he was asked to become the Defense Against the Dark Arts teacher, he realized that the time had finally come.

[Elf]

I was just reading something in GoF that more or less confirms Lupin knew where Harry was living for the ten years between his parents' death and his arrival at Hogwarts.

Dumbledore says to Sirius towards the end of GoF: "Sirius, I need you to set off at once. You are to alert Remus Lupin, Arabella Figg, Mundungus Fletcher--the old crowd. Lie low at Lupin's for awhile, I will contact you there." (p. 618 Canadian Ed.) Lupin is mentioned in the same breath as Mrs. Figg here. They are both members of the original Order, therefore I'm sure that Lupin knew Mrs. Figg was living in the Dursley's neighborhood for the purpose of watching Harry. Naturally then he would know where Harry was located.

In light of this fact, we can be fairly certain that Lupin's decision to not visit Harry was both due to respecting Dumbledore's wishes as well as a matter of personal restraint. I think it likely that Lupin probably asked about Harry on occasion however. Just because he didn't introduce himself to Harry personally doesn't mean he didn't check up on Harry once in awhile.

original post by Scarlet Tears
I also wanted to add that seeing Harry for the first time (well, grown up anyway) was probably a very emotional and awkward experience for him. Seeing the son of one of his deceased best friends, especially one that resembles him so closely, probably brought back floods of memories from when James was alive as well as those concerning the circumstances surrounding his death. It seems to me that Lupin might have tried to put off meeting Harry until he had overcome most of his grief, and that when he was asked to become the Defense Against the Dark Arts teacher, he realized that the time had finally come.

I think you are right here. Not only did Lupin consider how Harry would feel about meeting him, but he considered how hard it would be for him to meet Harry as well. I'm sure he played the scenario over in his mind many times.

Lupin had a very lengthy healing process to go through. He had been through a war, lost Lily and James because Voldemort killed them and Sirius was suddenly branded a murderer and thrown into Azkaban. On top of dealing with his own affliction and the problems and pain that it causes, Lupin had much additional sorrow to deal with. He may have felt ill equipped at the time to reveal all these things to Harry and essentially take on the responsibility of guiding him through this sorrow too. His own pain was strong and until he himself had accomplished a certain amount of healing I think it would have been too difficult for him to meet Harry. To introduce himself to Harry would be to commit himself to helping Harry deal with his past, something he just may not have been ready to do.

I think it is important to note though that if this responsibility had fallen to Lupin, say perhaps Dumbledore had asked him to approach Harry sooner, Lupin would have done fine. I think it is more a matter of him doubting his ability to build a relationship with Harry in the midst of his own pain, knowing full well that he would be the bearer of bad tidings for Harry too.

[Barbara Kennedy]

I wonder if this thread should be merged into the All About Remus Lupin v.3 (http://www.cosforums.com/showthread.php?t=31459) thread?
This seems like an excellent topic of discussion for that thread.

[dumbleedore]

I wonder if this thread should be merged into the All About Remus Lupin v.3 (http://www.cosforums.com/showthread.php?t=31459) thread?
This seems like an excellent topic of discussion for that thread.
I think this thread is unique enough to stay seperate from the all inclusive thread Barbara :) Thanks anyway :D

I think Elf has some very good points- including this one:

When Lupin finally does meet Harry (aside from when Harry was a baby) he is able to hide for awhile under the guise of being nothing more than Harry's teacher. This allows Lupin to very gradually build a relationship with Harry and cautiously reveal certain things about the Marauders' past to him. Had Lupin dumped these things on Harry all at once and too soon, Harry might never have trusted him the way he does. It might have harmed their relationship before it ever had a chance to grow.

Which is exactly what I was thinking- if Lupin had come into the series any earlier and had tried to dump this information on Harry, it would've come off quite badly.

And, I think this is something else Elf mentioned, I think that perhaps Dumbledore has placed a gag order on people going to visit Harry who knew Lily and James, so that Harry doesn't have all this information coming to him at once- perhaps because love is the key to everything, Dumbledore is afraid that if Harry knows the full truth about Lily and James, including any secrets they may have, he might not feel the love flowing through his veins and cause mass destruction...

But that is a different thread...

[Portus]

Well i think firstly, as we see through Lupin admitting to Harry that he was friends with James and Sirirus only after he is asked directly, he is alittle hesitant to be associated with them. After all, at this point sirius is considered by the entire wizarding community to be Voldemort's No.1 man, and as well as this, Lupin is a Werewolf, so he has to try and keep his character as intact as possible.

Secondly, it was Sirius who was James' best friend and god father to Harry. I think as well as dumbledore not allowing lupin to contact harry, he would have felt alittle awkward visiting him. Also, in explaining to Harry how he was friends with James, it would have revealed too much of the plot which JK was saving for later books :)

P.S: Would just like to add that the chapter where harry first meets Lupin on the Hogwarts Express is my favourite HP chapter :)

[sheilajsn]

Elf, as usual, you are right on the spot :tu:
There’s really nothing I could add (only that I’m bringing a chocolate cake to Lupin’s office, so hurry, cause the girls will finish it in an instant. See you there ;) )

[Weatherby]

I remember we discussed this once on the board. I can't recall which thread but it probably doesn't exist anymore.

I think there could be a number of reasons driving Lupin not to seek Harry out at first. I don't believe anyone had a falling out. The Sirius and Peter thing was disatrous on it's own. Who needs a falling out when there's mistrust in the entire wizarding community that drove them all to such a tragedy?

But I'm glad he didn't. He earned his relationship with Harry based on it's own merit.
Harry liked him before he knew he was friends with his father.

[ragga]

I have two points to make.
1. If i were Lupin myself i would find it difficult to meet Harry. He would have had 10 years to cope with the grief of loosing two of his best friends and one of them being a murderer and possably trator and going to Azkaban. So i think meeting Harry would bring back all the memories and emotions.
We could also say that maybe he wouldnt have had the chance because of the Dursleys and just maybe he wasnt as close to James as Sirius. Sirius escaped to go find Harry because maybe he felt he had a responsibility as godfather.

2. Well Lupin never tried to contact Harry, as far as we know, the same could go for the rest of the old crowd. Or just Lillys friends. We know that she was most likely friends with all of James' but i guess she would have her own set of good friends. And none of them have tried to contact Harry.

[Tane]

Dumbledore probably had something to do with it, why would he risk any order member getting too close to Harry, Lupin may have been know by the death eaters through out the wizard world and as a result any visit may have resulted in him unrevealing Harry to them.

[LizZz]

You all have good points and I agree with you why Lupin didn’t visit Harry when he still lived with the Dursleys:
* The Dursleys wouldn’t appreciate a friendly (towards Harry) wizard who also was a friend of Harry’s parents visiting him.
* And probably Dumbledore made sure that only a few people (wizards) knew where Harry was for Harry’s safety.

And of course the third book was the best book to introduce Lupin (with the Sirius storyline) But in the first book Hagrid asked old school friends to send pictures of James and Lily because Harry didn’t knew mush/ had any pictures from his parents. I’m sure Lupin has sent some photos maybe the one from the wedding (he was the photographer?), he could have sent a letter to Harry were he (Lupin) told him (Harry) that he was a friend of Harry’s parents and if Harry wanted the know something about them he could ask him in a letter. Why didn’t Lupin do that then? It would be a nice thing to do but still he didn’t have to tell Harry things that he didn’t want Harry to know yet (like the werewolf part and your father could change into a stag).

[Niffler_8882]

Well I believe that Lupin's brains may come into function when we try to find out why he didn't visit Harry. Dumbledore was sure that he wanted him to stay with the Dursleys because if he didn't there would be havoc. As long as he is with the Dursley's who are their secret keepers in some way i think, then Voldemort cannot find him, and thus he has to stay there the whole summer, when he is not in contact with Dumbledore. If Lupin were to barge in at age say, 8, tell Harry he is a wizard, that he is the most famous 8 year old in the wizarding world, can do magic, and all the stuff that Hagrid told him, we know what his reaction would be. I WANNA GET OUT OF HERE! That is exactly what Dumbledore cannot let him do. Harry has to stay with the Dursleys and he doesn't know why, and it would hurt him to know why at the age of 8. I suppose Dumbledore only wanted Harry to find out about his real world when he needed to, i.e. when he was to join Hogwarts.

[Daltervia]

Some brillant theories here, and an interesting thread.

I think that the reason why Lupin didn't visit Harry in the ten years before has been answered well - nobody crutial to the novel did!

As to part of keeping track with an old friend's son, I think that if conditions were normal, Lupin probably would have. This is probably because Lupin doesn't really have anyone else apart from his friends (that we know of, interesting side note that all the Mauderers appear to be only childs).

I also agree with Sirius and James being closer than Lupin and them. However they must have really liked Lupin, as they helped him through his school life, and probably gave Lupin the confidence he needed for adult life as a werewolf.

The point is though that Sirius who's BEST friend was James, treats Harry like his Best friend in Ootp - whereas Lupin appears to be more distant, but certianly is there. So maybe the reason why Lupin didn't immediately introduce himself as one of James's best friends was perhaps because he didn't want to put any pressure on Harry to be "his father" and not himself (as see this in the difference between Lily and James in the Pensive, and as Harry is a mixture of them, he has his own unique personality which Lupin respects).

But I think that Lupin will play a major role in Harry's life in the next two books (if he lives past book six!), as it was him who held on to Harry as Sirius died...kind of saved his life...

[Elf]

original post by Weatherby
But I'm glad he didn't. He earned his relationship with Harry based on it's own merit.
Harry liked him before he knew he was friends with his father.

Good point. Harry trusted Lupin because Lupin took the time to build a relationship with him as a mentor and friend. There were a lot of mysterious and questionable things that happened around the time of James & Lily's death and Sirius' imprisonment. Had Lupin not already built trust with Harry before the Shrieking Shack scene, Harry might never have believed all the important things Lupin revealed. Sirius was also a friend of James and he was a convicted killer, so without that bond Lupin had made with Harry during the school year, friendship with James might not have been enough to qualify him as trustworthy in Harry's mind. It is only because Harry feels Lupin has proved himself reliable that he can take it a step further and believe Sirius as well.

This also shows that Harry is a decent person like his dad and Sirius. He liked Lupin before he knew he was a werwolf and he continues to like him after he finds out.

[Drusilla]

I think a possible reason for Lupin not trying to meet Harry before was Dumbledore telling him not to contact Harry. If he did, he'd have to explain to Harry that he was a friend of his father's and then he'd have to deal with Harry's questions about what his dad was like, and what his dad's friends were like....and given that they didn't know the truth about Sirius then,it would've been pretty unpleasant to tell Harry what he knew, or thought he knew.

[free_girl]

Cause he had to many dates lined up! Bada bing!

[rotsiepots]

Would it have been appropriate for Lupin to visit Harry? He obviously couldn't have done so before Harry's 11th birthday, because Harry didn't have any inkling about the magical world, the real cause of his parents' deaths, Voldemort and so on. I'm not sure whether Dumbledore made a habit of advertising where Harry was staying, either. Lupin visiting Harry before he started Hogwarts, or before Hagrid had the chance to explain things to him, would have resulted in sensory overload.

Besides, I don't think Lupin was as close to James as Sirius. While I don't doubt they were friends, Lupin may not have felt comfortable visiting Harry simply for the purpose of letting Harry know that he used to be friends with James. He wanted to get to know Harry first, rather than basing their friendship, or acquaintance, on the deaths of Harry's parents.

Any sort of meeting instigated by Lupin would have felt unnatural, so perhaps he decided to take his chances and meet Harry when the occasion arose and not because he actively sought him out. Maybe that's why he took the job at Hogwarts in the first place?

[PallasAthene]

What I think happened is that Dumbledore said that no one from the magical world was to have contact with him. For his own safety. My guess is that he told Remus directly, because he knew that he would try, at some point, to see Harry. Harry was, and is, the only connection he has with a past that he ejoyed/loved. In someways I could almost see Remus walking, if he had to, to see Harry. Remus might not have been as close as Sirius and James, but they where still his best, and only friends. I can just imagine how hard it was to, in a sense, 'kill' Peter. That man was his friend. A friend that excepted him as he was, and nothing more.


When Lupin finally does meet Harry (aside from when Harry was a baby) he is able to hide for awhile under the guise of being nothing more than Harry's teacher. This allows Lupin to very gradually build a relationship with Harry and cautiously reveal certain things about the Marauders' past to him. Had Lupin dumped these things on Harry all at once and too soon, Harry might never have trusted him the way he does. It might have harmed their relationship before it ever had a chance to grow.

You have a point. I like that Remus took things slowly with Harry. And perhaps this guise was a way for him to deal with newly uncovered emotions. Not only was he slowly getting to know Harry for Harry, but perhaps to give himself some times as well....

Which is exactly what I was thinking- if Lupin had come into the series any earlier and had tried to dump this information on Harry, it would've come off quite badly.
I don't think that Remus would've 'dump' everything on Harry at once. He probable wouldn't have said anything about the magical world at all. Just that he was an old friend of his father and mother. Etc...


Dumbledore says to Sirius towards the end of GoF: "Sirius, I need you to set off at once. You are to alert Remus Lupin, Arabella Figg, Mundungus Fletcher--the old crowd. Lie low at Lupin's for awhile, I will contact you there." (p. 618 Canadian Ed.) Lupin is mentioned in the same breath as Mrs. Figg here. They are both members of the original Order, therefore I'm sure that Lupin knew Mrs. Figg was living in the Dursley's neighborhood for the purpose of watching Harry. Naturally then he would know where Harry was located.

In light of this fact, we can be fairly certain that Lupin's decision to not visit Harry was both due to respecting Dumbledore's wishes as well as a matter of personal restraint. I think it likely that Lupin probably asked about Harry on occasion however. Just because he didn't introduce himself to Harry personally doesn't mean he didn't check up on Harry once in awhile.

I couldn't agree with you more!


I think it is important to note though that if this responsibility had fallen to Lupin, say perhaps Dumbledore had asked him to approach Harry sooner, Lupin would have done fine. I think it is more a matter of him doubting his ability to build a relationship with Harry in the midst of his own pain, knowing full well that he would be the bearer of bad tidings for Harry too.

Again you hit the nail right on the head!!:tu:

[Elf]

original post by rotsiepots
Any sort of meeting instigated by Lupin would have felt unnatural, so perhaps he decided to take his chances and meet Harry when the occasion arose and not because he actively sought him out. Maybe that's why he took the job at Hogwarts in the first place?

This is an interesting thought about Lupin possibly deciding to only meet Harry if and when the occasion arose. As much as I think he would have liked in many ways to be a part of Harry's life earlier if the circumstances had provided for this, I also think that perhaps Lupin looked back on the Marauders as a chapter in his life that was closed. James was dead, Peter was supposedly dead and Sirius had been thrown into Azkaban. Lupin's happy times with the Marauders might have seemed like nothing more than a good dream in the midst of a long line of tragedies in his life.

As much as Lupin is a strong person, he isn't a superhero. He lost all his dearest friends in one fell swoop. This was a cruel blow and it is unrealistic to think that he wouldn't need a long time to heal. Perhaps part of his healing process was to accept that this chapter of his life was closed and that he would only meet James' son if fate somehow crossed their paths. This is just a thought, however. It could very well be that Lupin had always resolved in his mind to reveal the history of the Marauders to Harry when the time was right. Either scenario is realistic.

Lupin may also have figured that Harry would not necessarily be interested in getting to know an old friend of his dad's. If Lupin felt this chapter in his life had closed, he may also have figured that Harry's life was worlds away from the life James had once lived too. As distant as his Marauder days might have felt to Lupin, these things were completely foreign to Harry and he might have assumed that Harry would feel no connection to this. All the more reason for Lupin to feel flattered by the fact that Harry desires a friendship with him and cherishes details about the Marauders when the opportunity finally does arrive for them to build a relationship.

The idea of Lupin taking the job at Hogwarts because of the possibility of meeting Harry is intriguing. While I think Lupin accepting the job had much to do with the good graces of Dumbledore, I'm sure the opportunity to observe Harry was a deciding factor or at least a compelling thought for Lupin. It must have been a surreal moment for him to see Harry for the first time in years on the train to Hogwarts. To see this boy who was so like James must have been very bittersweet for Remus. I'm sure this moment held a lot of hope as well as trepidation for Lupin, because it is a moment he has known might eventually come for many years now.