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Snape's Point of View


 
 
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  #1  
Old July 16th, 2003, 9:45 pm
Inkwolf's Avatar
Inkwolf Inkwolf is offline
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Snape's Point of View

This is a community thread for rewriting book scenes from Snape's point of view.

It began in the All About Snivellus thread, but got buried by merges and serious discussion, so please feel free to paste in your original Snape POV rewrite here, or write a new one.


-------------------------------------

Sorceror's Stone--

As I passed the courtyard, a sudden, furtive movement arrested my attention. The Potter boy, Weasely and Granger had suddenly, at the sight of a teacher, huddled together with the obvious expressions of people trying to look innocent.

My natural teachers' senses alerted, I went to investigate. Embarrassingly, I could find no evidence of the wrong-doing which their faces so clearly implied was taking place....just a harmless little magical flame they were warming themselves by. Temporarily baffled, I feared I would have to retreat defeated, thus striking a blow at the authority of the entire teaching staff.

Fortunately, I saw an out-of-bounds library book with Potter's belongings--that book on Quidditch History I've been wanting to get my hands on, incidentally -- and confiscated it as a face-saving gesture.

"He made that rule up!" I heard Potter whine behind me as I left. Typically, he couldn't be bothered to read the school rules. But little did I care--at last I'd be able to solve the argument Filius Flitwick and I had been having over the 1897 World Cup for over a week now. Sitting at my desk, I quickly looked up the score.

[email protected] Filius was right....


__________________

Under da sea....
Under da sea...
I take da points from all of you houses, you mess wit me!
Wipe off you face dat silly grin, since you are not in Slytherin
Go make you potion under da ocean,
Under da sea!
  #2  
Old July 16th, 2003, 9:47 pm
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Inkwolf Inkwolf is offline
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Order of the Phoenix

Having finally finished correcting my third-year exams after the long interruption (caused by Potter's foolhardy know-it-all-ism and bravado), I walked down the stairs into, yet again, trouble. The Potter boy, not content with having locked up Lucius Malfoy the Death Eater, is once more making an unprovoked attack on his son, who no doubt, in his grief and horror over his father's fate, has made some of his usual unwisely candid remarks under Potter's unfair harassment and cruel taunts. Do the Potters never let up on a vendetta?

"What's going on here?" I demand, knowing perfectly well.

"I'm just deciding what curse to use on Malfoy," the vindictive brat sneers. With even more arrogance than usual after his successful battle with the Death Eaters, he can't even be troubled to lie about it, for once.

Knowing that Potter's suffered a terrible loss himself, I decide to restrict myself to taking a modest ten points from his house...but find that, unsurprisingly, the conceited Gryffindors have already squandered all their points in silly rebellion against the Umbridge regime. (As if Dumbledore needed THEIR help to see the cow off!) Just as I am about to convert the punishment to a detention, I am interrupted by a well-known voice.

My spirits lift as Minerva McGonagall, once again her cantankerous old self, enters the corridor and lavishly pours more points into the Gryffindor hourglass. I put up only a token resistance--no doubt that made Minerva's victory the sweeter, and the old wench certainly deserved a treat after her hospital stay.

And I was, after all, able to simply deduct points from Potter. Not that the ungrateful brat appreciated the leniency. He slouched off with the usual scowl on his face. I wonder why it is that the other teachers so completely fail to see the dark side of his personality? Probably they are blinded by the charm his father also hoodwinked his teachers with: charm Potter doesn't bother to squander on me. He knows I've got his number. I may not see more clearly than the other teachers, but at least I am fully aware, through painful experience, of what really goes on under the delightful surface of a Potter. They will learn, one day. Perhaps too late...


__________________

Under da sea....
Under da sea...
I take da points from all of you houses, you mess wit me!
Wipe off you face dat silly grin, since you are not in Slytherin
Go make you potion under da ocean,
Under da sea!

Last edited by Inkwolf : July 16th, 2003 at 9:57 pm.
  #3  
Old July 16th, 2003, 9:58 pm
Witflick  Male.gif Witflick is offline
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'Protego!' I staggered backwards, and felt my wand slip out of my hand. There I was, age four years old, crying in my room. There was dad, screaming at mom. I remember that day. He ended up nearly killing here. I hate him.

There was Lily...beautiful Lily Evans. Except she was laughing at me...I was trying to get on a broomstick. After that, I remember, that brat Potter jumped on his broomstick and sped into the air, amidst cheers...he always had such a big head.

I was lying on my bed, practicing my stunning charm on small flies. It's odd how habits like that last through your entire life. Just yesterday I was picking them out of mid-air..

But I couldn't worry about flies now. I could dimly see Potter, a look of confusion on his face, and then the dawning of realization. I couldn't let him get much further, he was delving too deep..

It was enough...enough...

'ENOUGH!'

--------------

That probably sucked, but it was spur-of-the-moment.


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  #4  
Old July 16th, 2003, 10:28 pm
IThinkNot IThinkNot is offline
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Order of the Phoenix

I hate Sirius Black. He always acted like he was so much better than me. I know a good curse that would finish him off for good. This ratty kitchen is too **** small. I will not give him the satisfaction of my glare.

Oh, now here's Potter. Wonderful. I cannot believe I have been assigned to this task. I know the reasons, of course, and I am fully aware the danger he is in. That doesn't make me like him.

"Sit down."

Sirius begins to speak, leaning back on his chair like he's so nonchalant. "I think I'd prefer it if you didn't give orders here, Snape. It's my house, you see."
What a dick! A quick exchange of words, then I get my shot in.
"I know you like to feel... involved."
Ooh, looks like that did it.
"Merely that I am sure you must feel --- ah--- frustrated by the fact that you can do nothing ... useful... for the Order."
There. I cannot believe he didn't see that coming.

So I have to sit here and explain the obvious to this little snot. I wish he would just shut up and quit asking questions. He takes so much pride in being like James. James was a punk and so is his son.

Sirius thinks he can argue with me? Wonderful. I know the truth. He just sits back here and pretends to be all desirous to go out and fight but I know the reality--- he's scared. Yes, he is.

Punk.

(..... sorry if this isn't very good... it's hard to snip bits and pieces of dialogue....)


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  #5  
Old July 16th, 2003, 10:40 pm
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Inkwolf Inkwolf is offline
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Another bloody year teaching bloody Potions. And no idea why....I suppose it's just that Dumbledore felt he must let Quirrel have his old position back.

The sorting finished, I turn to talk to Quirrel. There's something odd about him...a foul aura, a feeling of death and rot hangs about him. He won't meet my eyes.

There's something there, hidden...an old, familiar evil. Should I talk to Dumbledore? But no, he didn't believe me about the vampire in the staff toilet last year, he won't believe this. I must have proof.

As I seek to get a clear look into Quirrel's eyes, my gaze is drawn by a familiar face from my nightmares.

James Potter is staring at me from the Gryffindor table.

No, NOT James. The shock only lasts a moment, but that moment is enough, as I see the boy's face turn into a too-familiar expression of shock, almost pain, sullen fear, and self-righteous offense. I turn away--I've seen that expression often enough.

So, Famous Bloody Harry Potter--you don't like what you see? Potions Master not pretty enough for your tender Gryffindor eyes? We'll see if we can improve your manners in Potions class...


__________________

Under da sea....
Under da sea...
I take da points from all of you houses, you mess wit me!
Wipe off you face dat silly grin, since you are not in Slytherin
Go make you potion under da ocean,
Under da sea!

Last edited by Inkwolf : July 16th, 2003 at 11:55 pm.
  #6  
Old July 17th, 2003, 12:10 am
keskin_snape keskin_snape is offline
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Wow Inkwolf... I never thought of that 'first meeting of eyes' in PS like that... really makes you think.
^*^___________^*^____________^*^
...I walked forward, holding out my wand as I did so.
"Don't worry Potter" I smirked "I'll get rid of it for you..." and then the most peculier thing happened.
A strange hissing, slurred and foreign voice came from his mouth and I recognized it at once....Parceltongue.
And then another very strange thing happened... the Snake turned towards that silly Hufflepuff boy whom on recollection... had turned the floor around his desk into quicksand in potions last week.
The shock of this new development caused a momentary lapse of 'doing-stuff' but wore off soon and I quickly burned the snake into a crisp. I had a fleeting thought... 'I wonder what snake tastes like?'...


^*^__________^*^_____________^*^

Well thats my randomness for today.


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One Ring to rule them all
One Ring to find them
One Ring to bring them all
and in the darkness bind them.

  #7  
Old July 17th, 2003, 12:10 am
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Inkwolf Inkwolf is offline
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Once more--a perfect batch. After a week's careful preparation and hard work. I am so underappreciated at this school.

I gently pour the potion into the golden goblet, steam rising in heavy curls. As it's meant to be drunk as fresh as possible, I immediately carry the goblet carefully upstairs to the Defense Against the Dark Arts office...the office that should be mine....which Dumbledore has chosen to give to my old enemy. Not that I'm resentful or anything.

I am unpleasantly surprised to find Lupin in a private conference with James Potter's son...no doubt telling him funny stories about his father's escapades at school. Someone should tell the brat the truth about James Potter. Maybe I will....

But not now. I give Lupin his potion, and mention that I have made more, if he needs it. (I mean, of course, if he loses it or spills it AGAIN. A single dose is sufficient.)

"Thank you Severus," says Lupin dismissively. Get out of my office, so I can tell Harry some more funny things about you and James, is it?

"You ought to drink that directly," I urge him. Now, Lupin, drink it NOW! I want to KNOW I'm not going to wake up next week with a werewolf in my bed. Plus, I love that expression on your face as you choke it down...

Lupin leaves the potion sit, though. Probably hoping to knock it over 'accidentally' and force me run fetch him more.

After I leave, I can't resist the temptation to lean back and put my ear against the door.

"You know, Professor Snape is awfully keen on the Dark Arts," says the clueless little git.

"Disgusting," remarks Lupin.

I was right, they're talking about me.

Potter definitely gets the truth about his father from me, next time I've got him in my office...


__________________

Under da sea....
Under da sea...
I take da points from all of you houses, you mess wit me!
Wipe off you face dat silly grin, since you are not in Slytherin
Go make you potion under da ocean,
Under da sea!
  #8  
Old July 17th, 2003, 1:05 am
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FredRocksMySocks  Female.gif FredRocksMySocks is offline
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I'll start with my original:
As I walk down the long dungeon hall to my classroom, I distinctly sense that there is trouble going on when I see flashes of light and see the dim-witted Goyle boy's face start to resemble something I have pickled in jars along my walls. Potter. It's got something to do with Potter.
Quietly, as I like the sneaky-just-came-out-from-the-shadows effect, I walk towards the group, and use my softest, deadliest voice.
"And what is all of this noise about?" I sneer. Potter looks like he is about to steam from the ears, and as my intelligent Slytherin studens fill me in, he bursts out angry sentences from his blasphemous mouth. When will he learn to respect his elders? Just like his arrogant father, believing himself to be above the rules, cursing people in the hallways. I'll show him now.
I take a closer look at Goyle and send him off to the hospital wing, trying to choke down my disgust at the disfigured mass that now sat upon his broad shoulders. The little Weasly boy brings Hermione foreward and I gloat as she unwilling removes her hands from her mouth, revealing teeth that were...only an inch or so longer than normal, really.... I sneer again, thinking this makes for a good effect before I insult my students.
"I see no difference"
The little know-it-all brat runs off to the hospital wing, no doubt, without even asking permission and I am left to give punishment for the situation. Finally relief from playing mediator, I am allowed to do what I do best: Punish the gryfindors, who...beat--slythering--in--the--last--quidditch--match...
I straighten up, half-heartedly try to conceal my excitement, and take 50 point from their proud little house, and give both the weasly boy and mr. wonderful detention for causing a delay in my classroom activities. And, I add as an afterthought, if there is any argueing, it'll be a weeks worth of detentions.
All in a day's work.

GoF US version 299


__________________
And goodbye until tomorrow. Goodbye until the next time you call and I will be waiting. I will be waiting. Goodbye until tomorrow. Goodbye 'till I recall how to breathe, and I have been waiting, I have been waiting for you.... Finally yes! Finally now! Finally something takes me away.
  #9  
Old July 17th, 2003, 1:45 am
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Loz  Undisclosed.gif Loz is offline
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Joined: 6537 days
Age: 37
Loz Brown, 2003. Rating: G
Serious/3rd Person mini-fic-
Severus Snape and the Order of the Phoenix


Severus stood at the door to 12 Grimmauld Place, he braced himself for another few hours of torture. Once more he would be around those pesky Weasley children and their parents, a loving family no less. Once more he would be answering to the likes of Remus Lupin and being asked questions about what he was doing by people who weren't risking their lives as he was. Once more he would be in Sirius Black's house. He hated everything to do with the man, but if doing this meant revenge would be wrought on the Dark Lord, then do it he would. Severus made sure no-one was watching him, and sighing, knocked on the door.

As he was let in he was astounded to see the boy, Potter, standing at the foot of the stairs staring at him quizzically. How dare he look at him that way? His stomach churned as the image of the child stirred up memories that would best be forgotten. A surge of anger welled up in his breast but he kept a calm expression on his face as he was addressed and led into the conference room. Severus assured himself his work was vital and that without him the Order would be in a wreck. A small voice was whispering trecherously in his mind all the times Potter and his kind had maligned him and he was once again finding his mask slip as his emotions got the better of him. He took another deep breath and started on his report of the Death Eaters.


__________________


Because it's finished... one final bit of shameless self-promotion.


Swapping with Snape


  #10  
Old July 17th, 2003, 2:36 am
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I saw the way that little Granger brat was looking at me after the match. Isn't it bad enough that I have my cloak set on fire, but now I get glares from Potter's little fan club for saving his life. Imagine, Quirrel starting that rubbish with the bucking broom, and leaving it up to be to save the little bugger's life. Old dependable Snape, always around to save the day. And not even a thank you. I could have left Potter to be crushed on the pitch, but no, I have to be the good guy, once again, and save his good for nothing life. When do I get a break from life of servitude? Imagine what would have happened had I not been there to stop Quirrel killing the arrogant prat. And what did he do in return? Won the match! That's what he did. NO appreciation. No 'thank-you, I'm not worthy to lick the inside of your couldron'--no nothing. That's what I get for my good deed.
Well, we'll see about that!
I think a certain spill with a shrinking tonic should clear his big head up.....just as soon as I am done oiling my head.


__________________
And goodbye until tomorrow. Goodbye until the next time you call and I will be waiting. I will be waiting. Goodbye until tomorrow. Goodbye 'till I recall how to breathe, and I have been waiting, I have been waiting for you.... Finally yes! Finally now! Finally something takes me away.
  #11  
Old July 17th, 2003, 3:18 am
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Thanks seerius! I'm pretty bored, so here's another one:

It's a wonderful day. A wonderful, beautiful, day. Cauldrons hissing, Wit Potions butchered all around, and Potter...is no longer a bother to me. I've done it. I have finally sufficiently deflated that hot, over-inflated, arrogant head of his. I must remember to thank Hermione next time I see her in the Great Hall for bringing that magazine to class, and to write the talented, stunning reporter and author of that magnificent piece: Rita Skeeter! I do wonder if she is busy Saterday night...perhaps we could talk (ahem, slander, rather) Potter a little over a drink at the Three Broomsticks. I do like the way that woman works--at least she's matured from her first article, anyway.
As if that wasn't enough, the mental list of things that I have been meaning to say out loud to that little git has finally been said, and it was brilliant to watch the colour rise in his ruddy little face, the flames grow behind his eyes and his ungrateful hands shake as he tried to be 'brave like his father' and ignore the fact that what I was saying was the truth and that I was better than him. Nothing, I repeat, nothing could spoil this....not even Neville in the corner...who has successfully lit his hair on fire--again--and has dunked his head in the potion, causing him to turn an odd shade of purple.... No matter.... It really is a beautiful day....
:knock:
[email protected] it!


__________________
And goodbye until tomorrow. Goodbye until the next time you call and I will be waiting. I will be waiting. Goodbye until tomorrow. Goodbye 'till I recall how to breathe, and I have been waiting, I have been waiting for you.... Finally yes! Finally now! Finally something takes me away.
  #12  
Old July 17th, 2003, 4:32 am
Kassandra Amparo  Female.gif Kassandra Amparo is offline
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Snape does not cry ...

I was standing here,in this office when the news came.He'd gone.Sirius,he can never come back..I tried not to blame myself for his death but the voice inside my head was yelling,shouting at me:Why could you let him go?Why could you stop teaching the boy Occumency?Why could you hate a 14 year-old boy just because his father had saved you in the past? Why could you be so cruel like him,your vicious,hateful father? WHY..?WHY..?WHY...? I could not stop that voice.My head was hurting so bad.My mind was filled with guilt. Am i really really bad?Am i just like him,hateful and vicious? NOOOO i am not. Sirius deserved that,he was bright,handsome and popular.He was everything i ever wanted.And that Potter boy,he is no different with his teenaged father,famous and arrogant.Why do people only like being around them,not me? Why did people treat me different only because of my abnormal look? They just didn't understand...I am one...of a kind!I am special ! No,you are not. The voice inside my head was yelling again.
Severus,you're not special !The only special thing about you is that you have a spiteful father.You hate them all because you are JEALOUS! "YES,I AM JEALOUS!"I shouted at myself,at the screaming cruel voice inside my head."They had loving parents,caring friends and...and James had Lily...The day they got married, every good thing in my life died...."The cruel voice in my head died out,my eyes were filled with tears when a rather comforting voice suddenly said : "No,Severus. Professor Snape,the Potion Master does not cry ... "


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  #13  
Old July 17th, 2003, 4:56 am
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Joined: 6537 days
Age: 37
Loz Brown, 2003. Rating: G
Comedic/3rd Person/ 1st person Introspective mini-fic-
Severus Snape and the Morning Routine


Severus wakes up and stretches under his black satin sheets. He sits up in bed and pushes the draping dark green velvet curtain out of the way. He looks out of the window into the cold and snowy weather outside and smirks.

Hmm... a new day of the week. And what a brilliant day it is too. No horrible shining sun, no annoying chirping birds. I must make sure I spend the free part of lunch time stopping the children from having snow fights. Now, what is my schedule today? Ahh yes, a double lesson of Potions with my Slytherin fifth years, Potter and his gang. Not to mention an occlumency lesson with Potter in the evening. As much as I enjoy seeing the boy squirm, I sincerely hope he's made an improvement on last time. Dumbledore will be most displeased if the wretched child hasn't. The fate of the Wizarding world rests on his shoulders and he has the audacity to behave as he wishes instead of taking sound advice from those who know better.

Now, should I shower or should I check that everything is set up accordingly for today's lessons? The more pressing, I think. I must make sure I have the right quantities unlike last time. I almost became a laughing stock. Good thing I could blame Longbottom on having grabbed too much. Confound it, it's bloody freezing in these boxer shorts.


Severus gets out of bed wearing paisley green boxer shorts and draws a long black dressing robe around himself. He nimbly slips on his black furry bat slippers and makes his way to his wardrobe. He looks at his reflection appraisingly for a moment before rifling through the clothes rack on the inside of the wardrobe.

Should I wear my black linen robes with three gold waist buttons and velvet cape, or my black velvet robes with extra flared sleeves and green piped cloak?

He stands in front of the mirror and models both quickly before deciding upon the former. He dresses carefully but quickly, and puts his dark grey socks and black shoes to the side to put on after he has washed up. Severus quickly performs his ablutions, brushing his teeth and washing his hands, quickly bringing a comb through his hair, and hurries to his Dungeon. The wall is lined with shelves baring odd and disgusting components used in various Potions and Severus checks that he has enough of everything that he will be needing that day with meticulous care.

Good... good, everything is set just how I want it. Now time for breakfast. Bacon and eggs, or oatmeal?

Severus makes his way to the Hall. He carefully opens the front door to Hogwarts a fraction, making sure no-one is looking as he does so. The crisp breeze coming from outside makes his cape billow impressively as he stands at the doorway to the Great Hall. He steps into the room looking about the rows of students, Gryffindors in particular, cultivating an oppressive and dominant expression. He surveys the students closely as he slowly walks forward.

"MacMillan, ten points off Hufflepuff, you know you are not supposed to be wearing ear muffs in doors," he barks commandingly whilst he walks up to the front table and his spot of authority as Head of Slytherin house. He flourishes a napkin, glaring down at the students, and brings a plate of bacon, eggs, fried tomato and fried bread in front of him.

Hmm, the bacon's nice and crispy but these eggs are too runny. It's probably because those House Elves are terrified of that hideous Umbridge woman. I almost wish I could poison her tea, but she's been very helpful to the Slytherins and I can hardly break my cover. She doesn't like Potter, so she's not all bad.

It is only when he goes to cross his legs that he realises he is still wearing his furry bat slippers and horrfied, transfigures them quickly, hoping no-one has seen.

Bollocks.


__________________


Because it's finished... one final bit of shameless self-promotion.


Swapping with Snape



Last edited by Loz : July 17th, 2003 at 5:57 am.
  #14  
Old July 17th, 2003, 10:42 am
Inkwolf's Avatar
Inkwolf Inkwolf is offline
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Another bloody year teaching bloody Potions. Defense against the Dark Arts should have been mine this year, but no--Mr. Famous Got-My-Name-In-A-Book has to show up and whip it out from under my feet. Not that I'm bitter or anything. But I'll bet that foppish prat isn't half as good as he makes out. Ha! I can just see him battling the Badon Banshee--Not now, my dear, you'll muss my hair!

The smells from the kitchen are wonderful, and I'm half-starved after skipping lunch to spend more time preparing the student ingredients for the first week of classes. I am told that the train is approaching Hogsmead, and the students will soon arrive, so I enter the Great HalI in order to greet them on their arrival, with the rest of the staff. I slide into a chair at the head table, next to Minerva McGonagall, looking forward to a nice chat about the year's Quidditch chances. We've barely started needling each other about who will have the cup this year, though, when Mr. Five-Years-Of-Charming-Smile-Awards parks his bottom beside me and begins yammering on about himself. Minerva and I exchange glances, but are polite. Apart from a meaning glare or two from me, at least, which bounce right off Mr. Ooh-isn't-my-hair-Poofy like water off a duck anyway.

Dumbledore enters shortly afterward, carrying a muggle newspaper, and shows it to me and Minerva, Mr. Flashy-pants staring over my shoulder and offering his own inane commentary.

The paper shows a picture of a flying car, with reports below of muggles who witnessed it flying--a blatant violation of not only wizard secrecy, but the laws against enchanting Muggle artifacts. But I don't see what it has to do with us.

"I have recieved word from the Express that Harry Potter and Ron Weasely did not take the train this year," says Dumbledore, making everything clear.

I groan. Minerva quickly jumps up. "I must be at the door to greet the first-years," she says brightly, and scarpers so fast her heels leave skid marks on the floor.

"Severus," says Dumbledore pleadingly, "Would you be so kind as to wait out on the grounds and watch for the arrival of Potter and Weasely?"

Fine. Sure. I don't mind missing the feast--I didn't want to spend it sitting next to Mr. Advert-for-Tooth-Whitener anyway. Just leave all the dirty work to old Severus, eh?

It's a damp night, and my feet and cloak are soon soaked through as I wander the grounds watching the skies. Occasionally I look into the window. The sorting is going on...sad to miss my first look at the new Slytherins. I am wandering across the castle battlements for the umpteenth time, watching the skies for a flying car, and wondering who else but Potter would be arrogant *** enough to pull such a stunt--when there's a horrific crash from behind the castle! In the distance, I can see the Whomping Willow thrashing angrily--the car must have crashed into it! My God...if they haven't been killed in the smash already, the tree will--

My heart in my mouth, I race down the castle steps and across the ground to the whomping willow. I arrive out of breath, and barely manage to sidestep a blow of the willow myself as I lunge for the secret freeze-knot.

"LUMOS!" I search around the willow, three times, and peer up into its dark branches desperately. Almost afraid to hope, I finally relax as it becomes apparent that there are no dead, mutilated, crushed, shredded , mangled bodies anywhere around or in the tree. There is no car, either. They've all escaped, with Potter's usual dumb luck.

They'll have gone up to the castle. My knees shaking, I go looking for them. Soon enough, I see the silhouettes of Potter and Weasely peering in the windows toward the feast.

I pause for a moment, my strange, brief urge to rush forward and hug the boys combatting with my much more natural desire to strangle them--and I overhear what they're saying.

"Where's Snape?" asks Potter.

"Maybe he's ill," says Weasley hopefully.

"Maybe he's left because he missed out on Defense against the Dark Arts AGAIN!" says Potter, even more hopefully.

"Maybe he's been SACKED!" says Weasley, pure joy in his voice.

"Or maybe," I say, "He's waiting to hear why you two didn't arrive on the train."

The expression on their faces is almost worth this ghastly night.

I drag the two miscreants down to my office, where I'm pleased to see that they look just about as cold, hungry and miserable as I feel. I try to impress them with the enormity of the crimes they've committed, but as usual they sit silent, with that arrogant, sullen, what-do-YOU-know expression on their pimply little faces.

Leaving the boys with a threat of expulsion to think over, I get Dumbledore and Minerva from where they're having a grand old time stuffing their faces in the warmth of the Great Hall and drag them down to that damp hole Dumbledore gave me for an office.

Dumbledore puts on his sad face and begins to give them the I'm-so-disappointed routine. Potter and Weasley pretend to feel guilty, and before long Minerva is called on to pronounce the culprits' punishment.

Oh, I see. We're playing good cop/bad cop again. As usual, I get to be the bad cop.

I throw a convincing tantrum when the boys are let off expulsion, and Dumbledore drags me out of my own office and to the Great Hall, without so much as a chance to change into dry socks, where I make a meal out of cold leftovers, most of the staff having headed off to bed already. The Gryffindors who still remain at the student table are all talking eagerly about the Potter car theft--you watch, they'll make a hero of him over this. Maybe expulsion IS the only answer.

Later I return to find my office covered in sandwich crumbs.

Epilogue: Well, well, for stealing a car, breaking the wizard secrecy laws, damaging the Whomping Willow, nearly getting Arthur Weasley sacked, and making me miss the feast, Potter has been punished with the horrific ordeal of addressing envelopes for a couple of hours for Mr. Can-I-autograph-any-body-parts-for-you. That should make a BIG impression. Oh, and he whined and complained and tried to get out of it, too. Typical.


__________________

Under da sea....
Under da sea...
I take da points from all of you houses, you mess wit me!
Wipe off you face dat silly grin, since you are not in Slytherin
Go make you potion under da ocean,
Under da sea!

Last edited by Inkwolf : July 17th, 2003 at 6:02 pm.
  #15  
Old July 17th, 2003, 11:26 am
Kassandra Amparo  Female.gif Kassandra Amparo is offline
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Thank you,Wild Rose

I have nothing to do at the moment,so here is another one .
Hope you guys'll like it .

---------------------------------------------------------------

Before the Yule Ball


Snape was standing in front of his huge mirror,looking at himself with an unpleasant expression on his face. He turned around once...twice....and then three times before staring at his reflection again. Hmm,there's pretty much going on right now,but i can't just let myself be unprepared for the Yule Ball.No,No,No ...Absolutely NO! I've spent years and years teaching the students tirelessly without any complaint,I even saved that arrogant Potter when in my mind i'd love to see him dead !Well,well I always care for the others more than i do it for myself..And now it's time for me,myself and I ! He smiled then turned around for the forth-time. Now,the first thing is HAIR! I've been wearing this hair style for nearly twenty years.Love it? Of course I do.Words just can't say how wonderful i look in my black,long and shiny hair ...But today,i'd love to change the colour a little bit..Actually,i quite fancy a Malfoy-ish look,it'd be great to look just like my dearest student. He waved his wand,gazing at the blonde Snape in the mirror.I look ....er too perfect !Exceed Expectation ! The students will be thrilled when they see a ..too handsome Professor like this..What about RED? He waved his wand again.Oh dear,no...no...I'd rather be a weasel than a Weasley ! As Snape waved the wand again,his eyes wide opened,looking extremely frightened at the messy-brown-haired Snape..A potty on my head would look better than that Potter-ish hairstyle ! He muttered to himself with another wave of his wand. He now returned to his normal long,balck hair.In overall,Black's my real colour !I look... great ! He was beaming at himself while putting on his green satin dress rope.Look at me! Wonderful ! Just wonderful ! How could i ever say how bloody brilliant i look ? Snape turned around for the last time,smiling then hurry left the room. The ball is about to start.


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Last edited by Kassandra Amparo : July 17th, 2003 at 8:45 pm.
  #16  
Old July 17th, 2003, 12:55 pm
Remquo  Female.gif Remquo is offline
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Here are a couple of mine from the All about Severus Snape thread...they don't really compare to the standard set here, but I'm posting them anyway

Chamber of Secrets:

Finally, the perfect opportunity to give that bloody namby-pamby Lockhart a good thrashing. Naturally, I volunteered to help him with a demonstration in his duelling club.
The only thing Lockhart duels with is his hair...I heard him this morning-'The waves won't go right! I've slept badly on the curlers!'.

Anyway, he insists we bow...very well, then, hurry up, no need to twirl your hands so much....and....

EXPELLIARMUS!

The dainty poser goes flying...hehehe...score one for the man in black...



Chamber of Secrets: A continuation of the Duelling club scene!

Seeing as I'm in a revenge-wreaking mood, I'll go after Potter and his cronies...teach those vile, incompetent little trouble-makers a good lesson, using my own Slytherins....

Time to split up the dream team...yeah, that was a good one. You can tell by the depth of Potter's spoilt little scowl. It varies, from being mildly insulted (three lines across the forehead), to inner-tantrum-throwing (you can hardly see his eyes).

Weasley's small fry, he can sod off and partner whoever he wants....Watch it Potter! You can forget any ideas of partnering your buck-toothed, bushy-haired friendy-wendy, your going up against my own personally bred creation....MALFOY...hehehe,

*You're going down,
and you know you are,
You're going down,
and you know you are!*

*cough*, I mean, Granger will be up against that troll Bulstrode. Bulstrode doesn't like wands much...she prefers two hands to clobber with....


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  #17  
Old July 17th, 2003, 1:04 pm
crazytaxi  Female.gif crazytaxi is offline
Second Year
 
Joined: 6455 days
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Here's my original from the Snivellus thread.

Sirius bl**dy Black's house again. Ha! Think I'll wake up Mrs Black.

"HELLO! ANYBODY HOME!!!!!"

"YOU SCUM! HALFBLOODS, TRAITORS..."

"Excellent!"

Later, in the meeting Snape broods...

They're all b*****ds. God I hate them. Moody's looking at me again...what IS his problem?! Yes, you! Yeah, wanna make something out if it? I'll shove that eye where the sun don't...

"Severus, you had a report?" asked Dumbledore.

"Er....what....oh, yeah..."


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  #18  
Old July 17th, 2003, 1:14 pm
crazytaxi  Female.gif crazytaxi is offline
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Is he still talking? ...Yup, his mouth is moving and his hair is bobbing up and down, that's a sure sign...maybe if I just read Potions Weekly he'll give up...no?...blood and sand, what's wrong with the man?... I've tried my deadly glare, I've growled, I've ignored him, I've insulted him, but it all bounces right off...shut up! shut up!! SHUT UP YOU STUPID LITTLE MAN!!!...what...assistant...did I hear that right?...you want ME to be YOUR assistant?! You puffed up, pin headed, excuse for a...hang on a minute...dueling...dueling with Lockhart...Lockhart flying into a wall...Lockhart upside down while I bang his head on the floor...Lockhart with no hair...ooo, I like that one...Lockhart with my nose - even better - maybe I don't mind being his assistant all that much after all...yes, you heard me right...sure, Friday night...why do you look so happy? Do you have the slightest idea what's going to happen to you...the rest of the staff do, I can see them making bets behind you...woa, Minerva, twenty galleons, steady on...you say you're not going to hurt me, Lockhart...well, at last we agree on something.


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  #19  
Old July 17th, 2003, 3:06 pm
true_heir_of_slyth  Female.gif true_heir_of_slyth is offline
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these are my original ones from the all about SS thread:

7:00am woke up. had shower. still can't find my bloody shampoo. oh well, I'll wash my hair tomorrow.

7:30 breakfast. didn't eat anything because its all greasy and high in fat and I'm trying to watch my figure. D*mn Dumbledore. He can eat all he likes and he never gains a pound.

8:00am prepared my first class. Double potions with the ravenclaws and hufflepuffs. extra thick cauldrons all round, i think...

12:00 lunch. Marking Hufflepuff's homework. D...D for you too...hmm, let me see...D...

1:00pm back to lessons. deep, deep, happy joy. i have none other than the wonder boy himself in this class. the day just keeps on getting better and better...

3:00pm at last, the end of the school day. classrooms are so much nicer when they're empty. i think that i may have beaten my own point-taking record- seventy two points deducted from Gryfindor in the space of two hours. That was the high point of my day. Oh, what a sad existance I lead.

4:00pm marking the Gryfindors homework, wading through another of miss granger's epics...hmm...C. No, that's too nice. D. That's better. Ah, Mr Malfoy, a man who really knows the meaning of the phrase 'no more than three feet long'. A+, I think.

6:00pm i have retired to my chambers. Found another bloody boggart in my wardrobe. D*mnd*mnd*mn. Frightened the hell out of me when it turned into a sock puppet. What?? Are you laughing at me? Sock puppets are bloody scary!

think i'll write another fanfic- a day in the life of severus snape- could be an interesting read..


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  #20  
Old July 18th, 2003, 1:02 am
Ellen Ellen is offline
Third Year
 
Joined: 6628 days
Assistant?

I am no longer a Death Eater. I am not in service to the powers of Darkness. I do not kill, torture, or maim idiots no matter what they have done to deserve it.

On the other hand, the students have a better chance of learning something useful if Lockhart can't talk.

Amazing. He flew off the stage, into the wall, and the mouth still keeps on going. It's almost as if it works completely independently from brain. Perhaps Dumbledore couldn't get a DADA teacher this year. Perhaps this so called Lockhart is really a transformed slug.

If he was listening to what he was saying, he'd realized he's suggesting we continue the demonstration.

Tempting.

Lockhart told me just this morning his life's ambition is to market his own line of hair care products.

He offerred me free samples of his newly invented, oily hair treatment.

I no longer torture, maim, or kill for fun. Or even when it's very richly deserved.

But maybe when they really, really, REALLY deserve it?

The noises coming out of his mouth seem to finally have reached his brain, or maybe even an idiot like this can tell when death is staring him in the face.

Ah, well. Time to get to what really brought me here.

Mr. Potter, I want to know what you think of snakes.


  #21  
Old July 18th, 2003, 11:05 am
Kassandra Amparo  Female.gif Kassandra Amparo is offline
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Thanks everyone and great jobs!:clappy: All the works are great keep me laughing on and on

So here goes another one This is from The Globlet Of Fire

----------------------------------------------------------> > >

Him,a black dog ?Oh,how impressive,Mr I-Know-I'm-Supercool !So that's ...the little sweet secret.That is what Mr Potty,Miss Know-It-All and yes,Mr I-Am-The-Boss have been hiding from me for the whole year...I hate dogs,i hate that smell from him!Oh poor my little nose !I've been keeping it fresh and healthy days and nights with pure air,but now that smell will ruin it all.how am i supposed to teach the students with an itchy-runny-blocked nose?...

Him,here at Mr Boss's invitation ?Again,very impressive !I've been here nearly 14 years,serving you untiringly,obeying everybit of your unearthly order.I,of course,deserves an invitation. But him,after twelve years in Azkaban,one year in hiding,and now you says he is no different with me? Unbelievable !Harebrained !Senseless ! ...

And what??I must...must be dreaming !Shake hands with Him? Mr Oh-My-Boss,why could you do that to me? Looking at him is enough for me,now you want me to touch his filthy,soiled hand? I am now glaring at Mr Boss,hopelessly wish he would change his order any moment,i received an indignant look in return.It scares me ... to dead !Well,well Mr Do-You-Fear-Me-Now,you've left me no choice. I am now moving towards,shooking his hand...Dreadful !I've never ever touched such a bone-dry,moistureless hand !How could anyone leave their hands dehydrated like that? First my nose,now my hands...my beautiful hands...I have to use 10 moisturising potions everynight to keep them smooth,but now...look like they were being dried out for weeks. I'd better go back to my office,have some anti-dehydrated potion before doing my night duty...And off i go ... :rasp: :banghead:


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  #22  
Old July 18th, 2003, 11:15 am
Inkwolf's Avatar
Inkwolf Inkwolf is offline
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Joined: 6738 days
Location: Wisconsin
Ho-hum. Another weekend grading papers. D on this one, I think. After all, someone has to stay behind and be on call for emergencies. Another D, I think. It shows that Dumbledore trusts me with major responsibility. Yet another D....shocking. And who wants to waste the day hanging around the Leaky Cauldron drinking with the people I'm stuck with day in and day out, anyway? A definite T, here. Good thing I have today free to get this finished, so I'll have the rest of the weekend free to go to town when it isn't clogged with smelly preadolescents buying Dungbombs. T for you, too.

The door of my office bursts open, and Malfoy charges in, whitefaced and breathless. Something's wrong! I leap to my feet, prepared to go to the rescue! Is it a first-year trapped in the old cistern? An attack of trolls? An unannounced inspection by the Board of Governors?

Malfoy gasps in enough air to start expressing himself badly. "Professor--" he pants. "Hogsmeade----Shrieking Shack---saw--- ghost---"

My patience wears thin. Crabbe and Goyle have arrived, and the out-of-shape panting blobs are gasping, drooling and sweating all over the Hufflepuff essays. Moreover, Draco is dripping mud all over the floor.

"Draco," I say coolly, "The Shrieking Shack is just about as haunted as your grandmother's chamber pot. Apart from which, Hogsmeade is swarming with teachers, strategically stationed to prevent you and your classmates from destroying the town, to whom you could have gone to panic over town events."

"But it was Potter!" Draco squeaks. "It was Potter's head, floating around in the air! "

Potter? So, someone IS in deadly danger, as little as they seem to realize it. I force Draco to make a full account of the event.

"I'll look into it," I say. "I suggest you go have a shower and change meanwhile. We'll get Potter sorted out."

Draco looks rather pleased, but I don't have any time to waste. That statue of the humpbacked witch Potter was hanging about earlier--I always suspected James Potter and his crew had a secret door somewhere thereabouts, and--

And I'm right. From the direction of the statue comes Potter, looking rather fussed and anxiously hurrying toward the Gryffindor common room.

"So!" I say, and Potter halts, horror written all over his face. Caught red-handed. "Come with me, Potter."

I lead the boy to my office as he surreptitiously tries to remove the evidence of mud-slinging from his hands.

I tell him to sit, and I look down at him. Time for the third degree. I recount the story Malfoy has told me, about how he encountered Weasley, and how an unseen aggressor began hurling mud at him, followed by the vision of Potter's head floating in the air. Potter denies everything and tries to blame the events on Malfoy's imagination...but looking into his eyes, I can see at once that he's lying his little pink socks off.

"What would your head have been doing in Hogsmeade, Potter?" I ask. "Your head is not allowed in Hogsmeade. No part of your body has permission to be in Hogsmeade."

"I know that," he continues the denial. "It sounds like Malfoy's having hallucin-"

"Malfoy was not having hallucinations!" I snarl, leaning down over the boy. Perhaps a little intimidation will convince him to talk. "If your head was in Hogsmeade, so was the rest of you!"

"I've been up in Gryffindor Tower," Potter says, and since I caught him coming from the corridor, I don't even need to be an Legilimens to know he's lying this time. "Like you told--"

"Can anyone confirm that?" Potter freezes like a bunny in a Lumos spell--he's neglected to set up an alibi, a mistake James would never have made.

I attempt to remind Potter that there's a dangerous murderer on the loose with Potter's name written all over him, and that the government and school have been to great trouble and expense to protect him, but the irresponsibility of his actions doesn't seem to penetrate, and he sits there with his usual sullen, defiant expression.

Fine. Time for a heart-to-heart.

I tell him a few well-known facts about his father. As usual, the truth hurts, and Potter jumps out of his chair screaming at me to shut up.

Not being one to tolerate insubordination and rudeness in my office, I give him a chance to back down.

"What did you say to me, Potter?"

"I told you to shut up about my dad!" the arrogant brat shouts. "I know the truth, all right? He saved your life! Dumbledore told me! You wouldn't even be here if it wasn't for my dad!"

So. Not just Lupin, but now Dumbledore has joined this little laugh-at-Snape's-expense society. I didn't expect betrayal from this direction.

"And did the headmaster tell you the circumstances in which your father saved my life? Or did he consider the details too unpleasant for precious Potter's delicate ears?"

The expression of uncertainty confirms that they have only told Potter what makes the wonderful James out to be a shining hero. Fine, time for some more truth for Potter, and I hope this hurts, too. I only wish it was possible to tell the full story. I did promise to protect Lupin's secret, though, and I refuse to let my standards of honor sink to the level of Lupin's and Dumbledore's.

"I would hate for you to run away with a false idea of your father, Potter. Have you been imagining some act of glorious heroism? Then let me correct you--your saintly father and his friends played a highly amusing joke on me that would have resulted in my death if your father hadn't got cold feet at the last moment. He was saving his own skin as much as mine. Had their joke succeeded, he would have been expelled from Hogwarts."

Potter glares at me with pure hatred. Enough family gossip--time to find out how he'd pulled the escape off. "Turn out your pockets, Potter," I order.

Potter goes red in the face and looks twice as sullen, but makes no move to obey.

"Turn them out or we go straight to the headmaster," I add. That does the trick--Potter the Headmaster's Pet isn't about to risk having his cover blown to his protector.

Potter has a fresh bag of merchandise from Zonko's--proof, if I needed any more, of what he'd been up to--and an old piece of parchment.

Potter begins spewing transparent lies at once about the provenance of the Zonko's bag, but it is the parchment which interests me. Such an innocent item for a student to carry, yet so odd to take it on a tour of the town.

When I ask about it, Potter goes quite evasive, so I know I am on to something. I hazard a few guesses at its nature. "Instructions on how to get to Hogsmeade without passing the dementors?" I suggest, and Potter reacts. I must have hit close to the mark.

I try a few passes with my wand, and orders to the enchanted paper to reveal its secret. After using my name in one of the commands, writing begins to appear....

"Mr. Moony presents his compliments to Professor Snape and begs him to keep his abnormally large nose out of other peoples' business."

Moony! So, I was right all along--the werewolf IS trying to lure Potter out of protection and into danger. Not only that, he has the audacity to tell me to keep out of it--

But more writing appears on the paper--a message from....James. But James has been dead for years. Then from Black himself, then poor, stupid, dead Peter Pettigrew.

I understand. This is something from the old school days. That also explains the highly-familiar childish verbal abuse it spews at me. How touching, Lupin is trying to murder Potter with his father's old school projects and fairy stories about what a heroic, shining, perfect figure Prongs the Prat was. I feel almost sorry for Potter--he is being manipulated at his weakest point, his longing for a family.

I always feel it's better if scoundrels know when they're being watched. I summon Lupin to my office. With as much subtlety as possible--a direct accusation will only make Dumbledore take Lupin's side (he has this weird defender-of-all-who-are-accused complex)--I make it clear to Lupin that I know the parchment to be his, and that I am watching him.

Weasley bursts into the office, desperate to give Potter an alibi for the Zonko's bag (and how would he even know about it, if they weren't in on this together?) and gives Lupin a convenient interruption to make his escape. Potter, relieved, cluelessly follows the werewolf, his would-be murderer, out of the safety of my office.

A lamb to the slaughter.


__________________

Under da sea....
Under da sea...
I take da points from all of you houses, you mess wit me!
Wipe off you face dat silly grin, since you are not in Slytherin
Go make you potion under da ocean,
Under da sea!

Last edited by Inkwolf : July 18th, 2003 at 10:22 pm.
  #23  
Old July 18th, 2003, 11:49 am
Insomnia  Female.gif Insomnia is offline
Second Year
 
Joined: 6470 days
Location: Poland
Age: 32
My spirits lift as Minerva McGonagall, once again her cantankerous old self, enters the corridor and lavishly pours more points into the Gryffindor hourglass. I put up only a token resistance--no doubt that made Minerva's victory the sweeter, and the old wench certainly deserved a treat after her hospital stay.

Inkwolf, why "the old wench"?! Don't you exaggerate? I think you do...


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  #24  
Old July 18th, 2003, 11:59 am
Inkwolf's Avatar
Inkwolf Inkwolf is offline
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Location: Wisconsin
Quote:
Originally posted by Insomnia (original post)


Inkwolf, why "the old wench"?! Don't you exaggerate? I think you do...


Ummm, 'wench' seems to be one of those words which have different meanings and levels of meaning in different areas, like 'dame.' People interpret it as anywhere from a throwaway synonym for woman to a deadly insult on someone's moral character.

I only meant it in the context of the old lady, the old biddy, the chick, or whatever. Faintly insulting, but not offensive or derogatory.

Darn language differences....


__________________

Under da sea....
Under da sea...
I take da points from all of you houses, you mess wit me!
Wipe off you face dat silly grin, since you are not in Slytherin
Go make you potion under da ocean,
Under da sea!
  #25  
Old July 18th, 2003, 5:46 pm
IThinkNot IThinkNot is offline
Second Year
 
Joined: 6456 days
Can we write an event that was never described in the books?? For the most part we are all taking directly from what was written and adding our own narrarative when it is appropriate. By this game, can we write an event completely out of the books? (Prior to SS, for instance?)


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  #26  
Old July 18th, 2003, 10:12 pm
Inkwolf's Avatar
Inkwolf Inkwolf is offline
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Location: Wisconsin
Quote:
Originally posted by IThinkNot (original post)
Can we write an event that was never described in the books?? For the most part we are all taking directly from what was written and adding our own narrarative when it is appropriate. By this game, can we write an event completely out of the books? (Prior to SS, for instance?)


Well, if it's something definitely based on the books (like Snape applying for DADA or something) I'd say yes....if it's a totally original fan-fic like a story about Snape having a crush on Lily at school, I'd put it in the Library instead.


__________________

Under da sea....
Under da sea...
I take da points from all of you houses, you mess wit me!
Wipe off you face dat silly grin, since you are not in Slytherin
Go make you potion under da ocean,
Under da sea!
  #27  
Old July 18th, 2003, 10:24 pm
toryvic  Female.gif toryvic is offline
Third Year
 
Joined: 6448 days
Location: tripping the light fantastic
Age: 35
This is my little attempt. Hope it's worthy

What an awful bloody day I've had. Sometimes I wonder why I don't just run off and live with muggles (admittedly things haven't got that bad yet but I might have to bear it in mind.)
Today I had the immense displeasure of having that sickening old battleaxe Umbridge inspecting my fifth year potions class.
I should have known that something was going to go wrong when I saw Goldenboy Potter and his ever faithful Weasley scuffling outside with none other than brain of Britain himself Mr Neville Longbottom. At first I thought it was possible that they had been fighting amongst themselves so I took house points off them straight away. I then realised that Mr Malfoy and his charming friends had been taunting them about something, I know really I should have taken points off them too. But as far as I'm concerned anybody that tries to deflate the swollen head of Precious Potter deserves rewarding not punishing.
I decided not to mention what had occurred outside upon entering the dungeon because I knew that Umbridge would involve herself, as she's very keen to do when Potter is up to anything.
I thought that the best thing I could do was to mention the fact that Umbridge was in the lesson so I did not have to endure on of her feminine (and it is the only feminine thing about her) coughing fits. After I had got that little unpleasantness out of the way I was able to go about my normal duties. The class as usual knew what they were doing and knew the standard I expected of them so they weren’t any problems. I should have known that this was too good to last.
After about half an hour I saw the old bullfrog leave her stool in the corner and come lumbering over to me where I was examining a potion produced by one of my less irksome Gryffindor students. Umbridge started by saying that she felt the standard of intelligence in my class was reasonable. I was reassured slightly by this. I know that I am a competent potions master, but sometimes it’s nice to be told. However once this slight pleasantry was out of the way she proceeded to tell me that having a Strengthening Solution on the syllabus was inadvisable. I was unsure of the old toad’s objections to such a harmless potion. But instead of conveying my true feelings I kept fairly quiet and prepared myself for the worst.
Then the marvellous Professor Umbridge decided to grill me about my life as a teacher. She asked the odd relatively mundane question before going in for the kill. She wanted to know why the headmaster had persistently refused to appoint me as DADA teacher. Once she had asked this I felt my anger rise inside me. How could this incompetent old amphibian who felt that there was nothing more to teaching than reading to her class from an inadequate book, smugly enquire into the reason why I had failed to get her job. If there hadn’t been a class full of students there I could have quite happily hexed her on the spot. To put an end to her inane questions I told her to ask the headmaster why I was only potions master to which she cheerily remarked that she would.
I couldn’t contain my annoyance at the horrible old crone a moment longer so I spat out ‘is this relevant’
To which she gave one of her slack froggy smiles and told me that it was, and that the ministry was always very interested to know the backgrounds of the teachers.
The way she said this made me realise that it was a direct jibe at my past. A past that I don’t need to be reminded of by her, especially when I’ve got a constant, unforgettable reminder branded into the flesh of my left arm.
I was so angry by this point that I was prepared to throw down my wand and punch her square on her toady old jaw, but I’ve never hit a woman and even though she’s only a woman in the loosest sense of the word, I still managed to restrain myself sufficiently before she stalked off to interrogate my students.
After a brief second to calm myself I went to resume my duties, when, who caught my eye but Goldenboy himself. I knew he’d been listening, but at least he had the good grace to look away when he saw I saw him.
Still, his staring was an excuse for me to go and take a little of my frustration out on him and mock his lamentable excuse for a potion. My main consolation for even having him in my class is that I won’t have to teach the arrogant little squirt next year. But until that joyous day comes I can endeavour to make him hate me as much as I hate him.
Got to go now as we have an enforced staff meeting which is being chaired by Umbridge, still with a bit of luck I might get the entertainment of watching good old Minerva put the nasty old baggage in her place, a consoling thought indeed.


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well, split my infinitives!
  #28  
Old July 18th, 2003, 11:12 pm
IThinkNot IThinkNot is offline
Second Year
 
Joined: 6456 days
So what does Umbridge want? She is absolutely impossible. I never thought I would dislike anyone more than James Junior but this woman... unbelievable!

"Give me Veritaserum." she snaps. She is in her office. Those disgusting kittens! On those revolting plates! One good Reducto Curse and I would have them all destroyed in a second!
I incline my head, registering my inability to understand.

"Veritaserum, Severus, Veritaserum! You know what that is!"

"Of course." I say smoothly. "What do you need it for?"

"What does it matter?!" she shouts, her short fat body rising up in her chair in a vain attempt to be intimidating. I stand tall, towering above her, cloaked imposingly in black, staring down my nose with cold black eyes, feeling her stink of fear and cowardice and evil. I meet her eyes directly.

"I will make it immediately. I was merely curious. I apologize." Oh, yeah, sure I do.

"For your information, I am going to interrogate Potter. I know who he's been communicating with and I intend to find out why. The minute I find out the truth Sirius Black is mine."

Coldness seeps into me. What should I pick? What should I do? I hate Potter. I also hate Sirius Black. Nothing could stop me from mixing up the potion and allowing stupid little Goldenboy to spill his secrets to this woman. It would do me good to hear the little puke tell her everything. When the dust had cleared Harry Potter would be humiliated and Sirius Black would be imprisoned.

The pure beauty of it!

But then--- then--- Grimmauld Place and the Order would be given up as well! He would, in his mindless unawareness, tell her everything she would ever want to know! We would all be sent to prison for the rest of our lives. The Order would be over and The Dark Lord would have a clear path to victory! I would be ruined. My reputation would be destroyed. I would sign the death warrants of every person in the Order.

Never before have I had to make such a choice.

"Of course I will make you the potion, Professor."

Like hell I will.


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  #29  
Old July 19th, 2003, 12:00 am
Inkwolf's Avatar
Inkwolf Inkwolf is offline
Prefect
 
Joined: 6738 days
Location: Wisconsin
"Hurry, Professor!" Malfoy cries, running up the stairs. I follow him, leaving Potter in my office.

The bathroom is surrounded by curious onlookers peering in the door. I hear grunting and huffing from inside.

One fierce glare disperses the mob, and I stride into the bathroom to find that Umbridge woman tugging ineffectually at a foot. Looking into the toilet bowl, I am stunned at how a bruiser the size of Montague could fit, let alone how someone put him there.

"Heave ho! Oof!" the fool says, giving the foot another yank. "Come, Professor Snape, get hold of the other foot and help me pull!"

"Oh, for heaven's sake!" I snap. "Engorgio!" The engorgement charm makes the toilet swell to the size of a swimming pool, crushing the stall walls and the neighboring plumbing. It's a matter of moments to pull the befuddled Montague out and to his feet once more.

I leave the task of getting him to the hospital wing to Umbridge and Malfoy. I've left something....important unattended in my office....

(You made me want to post a shorty, IThinkNot! )


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Under da sea....
Under da sea...
I take da points from all of you houses, you mess wit me!
Wipe off you face dat silly grin, since you are not in Slytherin
Go make you potion under da ocean,
Under da sea!
  #30  
Old July 19th, 2003, 4:09 am
Kassandra Amparo  Female.gif Kassandra Amparo is offline
Third Year
 
Joined: 6443 days
Location: Where I end and You begin
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Re: Snape's point of view

Quote:
Originally posted by rayrayjohanna (original post)
Great jobs, I love this thread. Keep up the good work. Someone should tackle the Mad Eye Moody/Crouch Jr. Confession which Snape witnessed


Alright,so here you go I'm pretty busy at the moment so it's a bit short

------------------------------------------------ > > >

Dear,diary,


It was after the third task of The Triwizard Tournament and Mr Potty had again narrowly escaped from the death,successfully brought back with him body of that silly Hufflepuff boy and er..the Triwizard Cup,of course...

Mr Diggory's death,Mr Moody-in the trunk,Bad news for everyone but terrific for me !I now have some more stories for my up-coming book : The Collection of Defense Against The Dark Arts Teachers .Now,let's see....er I've done Mr Quirrel-The Man That Made Me A Hero.I've also finished Mr My-Teeth-And-My-Hair-Are-All-That-I-Care.Ah yes,and I've already written about Mr Moony-Loony-Lunatic. Now Professor number 4,please welcome,Mr Constant-Vigilance later became Mr Nine-Months-In-A-Trunk ...hee..hee..hee.Great!..Oh,wait a minute,have i just said "NINE MONTHS.. in a trunk"??? NOOOOoooo ... MY LATEST RECORD,EIGHT MONTHS AND 27 DAYS WITHOUT ANY HAIR-WASH...I can't believe it, Mr Perfect-Auror,you'd broken it !!! hic...hicc...hicc

:'( :banghead: :'(


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