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PureBloodGirl November 4th, 2008 10:01 pm

Favorite TV Show Lines
There was a thread like this for movies so why not have one for TV shows? Post your favorite lines from TV shows here.

Mods, I did check and there was nothing like this in this section of the forums.

Hardcore_Raver November 5th, 2008 9:59 pm

Re: Favorite TV Show Lines
There's loads of these for me, I could be here all night listing them so I'll try to limit myself!

From Life on Mars:

Sam Tyler - "From the diary, quote, "I killed her. She's been killed. I'm a killer, an ace killer." That particular entry is not awash with ambiguity."

Gene Hunt - [on phone] "Hello, is that the Wizard of Oz?" [to Sam] "The Wizard'll sort it out. It's because of the wonderful things he does."

Gene Hunt - "I thought you said you could multi... story... task... Whatever!"

Gene Hunt - "Y'see, this is why birds and CID don't mix. Give a bloke a gun, it's a dream come true. Give a girl one, and she moans it doesn't go with her dress! Now start behaving like a detective and show some balls."

From Futurama

Professor Farnsworth - [on phone] "Oh, how awful. Did he at least die painlessly? ...To shreds, you say. Well, how is his wife holding up? ...To shreds, you say."

Bender - "I love this planet! I've got wealth, fame, and access to the depths of sleaze that those things bring."

Fry - "It's just like the story of the grasshopper and the octopus. All year long, the grasshopper kept burying acorns for winter, while the octopus mooched off his girlfriend and watched TV. But then the winter came, and the grasshopper died, and the octopus ate all his acorns and also he got a racecar. Is any of this getting through to you?"

Zapp Branigan - "The quickest way to a girl's bed is through her parents. Have sex with them and you're in."

That'll do for now, but I'm bound to return. So many more quotable TV shows! Scrubs, Simpsons, Family Guy, Peep Show, Spaced, and that's just for starters!

Hysteria November 6th, 2008 12:45 am

Re: Favorite TV Show Lines
The Janitor (Scrubs): You look unhappy. I like that.

Morbo (Futurama): Pathetic humans! Prepare to write down the recipe!

Mad_Druid November 6th, 2008 4:11 am

Re: Favorite TV Show Lines
Columbo - 'Just one more thing ...'

Stewie (Family Guy) - 'Damn you vile woman, you've impeded my work since the day I escaped your vile womb.'

EXPELIAMUS November 6th, 2008 5:20 am

Re: Favorite TV Show Lines

(at a charity event for kids, season 6 finale)

Rachel: Phoebe, don’t you think you’ve had enough to drink?
Phoebe: I’m just helping the kids!
Rachel: How is you drinking helping the kids?
Phoebe: Because the more I drink, the less there is for the kids to drink.

freelantzer November 6th, 2008 5:54 am

Re: Favorite TV Show Lines
Excellent thread, PBG! :tu:

I could do a million from Seinfeld alone!

Jerry: "Who's gonna figure an immigrant has a pony? I mean, in all the pictures I've seen of people coming into Ellis Island, I never saw one of them on a pony . . . Who leaves a country packed with ponies to come to a non-pony country?" :rotfl:

Elaine: "It's over, Soup Nazi, no more soup for you. NEXT!"

George: "I can sense the slightest human suffering."
Jerry: "Are you sensing anything right now?"

More later . . .

PureBloodGirl November 6th, 2008 10:13 pm

Re: Favorite TV Show Lines

"Who is not wearing the ribbon?"

"It feels like an Arby's night."

R_U_Sirius November 7th, 2008 8:18 pm

Re: Favorite TV Show Lines
Spongebob Squarepants

Kevin of the Jellyspotters after Spongebob hits himself in the face as directed:
"Doesn't that hurt you"
Spongebob raises his fist now covered with a metal spiked gloveand says:
"Do you want it to hurt me Kevin?"

Sick and FUNNY!!

BLACKADDER: They do say, Mrs. M, that verbal insults hurt more than physical pain. They are, of course, wrong, as you'll soon discover when I stick this toasting fork in your head.

Fawkesfan1 November 7th, 2008 8:38 pm

Re: Favorite TV Show Lines

Originally Posted by PureBloodGirl (Post 5174685)
There was a thread like this for movies so why not have one for TV shows? Post your favorite lines from TV shows here.

Mods, I did check and there was nothing like this in this section of the forums.

I had a similar thread... but it was moved over to another board :). Good job on yours though... I just love these kinds of threads, they're fun to read.

Ceilidh_ann November 7th, 2008 10:06 pm

Re: Favorite TV Show Lines
"Everybody's always in favour of saving Hitler's brain. But when you put it on the body of a great white shark - oohhh, suddenly you've gone too far!"

Hysteria November 8th, 2008 4:01 pm

Re: Favorite TV Show Lines
^^ :lol:

From Venture Bros.

(Brock, Hank, Dean, and Dr. Venture are hanging over the Amazon River)
Brock: Take your time, Monarch, because the minute you finish your little speech, I'm going to kill you.
The Monarch: What are you, Obi-Wan Kenobi? Just look at you shmucks, I don't think I'm the one in danger here, considering the sad fact that right below you flows the mighty Amazon, teeming with the most gruesome fish to ever--
Hank: The piranha.
The Monarch: No.
Hank: The shark?
The Monarch: No!
Hank: (pause) The piranha?
The Monarch: NO!! And shut up! This isn't a quiz.


Elliot: People change: I knew this one migrant worker from our orchard, Rámon. He used to say "I hate apple sauce, it destroys the integrity of la manzana"; manzana is Spanish for apple. Anyway... last time I was home I asked how Rámon was doing: he's vice president of Mott's Applesauce. It's true, Rámon Delgado, look him up on the internet.
Dr. Cox: I will.
Elliot: Don't, I made it up.

Elliot: I'm dating a Murse!
J.D.: Well it's better than dating a mectretary or a manicurist... oh wait, that works.

Rush November 9th, 2008 3:56 am

Re: Favorite TV Show Lines
As one of my favourite shows, Home Improvement has a few memorable quotes

Randy: What did the moron have for breakfast?
Tim: I don't know.
Randy: This morning you had scrambled eggs and toast.

Jill: Randy yanked the shoes off of a kid at school, and filled them with Cheez Whiz.
Randy: But mom, you don't understand. He's a total geek.
Jill: Don't call him that.
Randy: What am I supposed to call him then?
Tim: How about the Whiz Kid?

[the boys are trying to stop Tim's snoring]
Brad: What if we hold his nose shut?
Randy: Then he'll breath through his mouth.
Brad: What if we hold his nose and mouth shut?
Randy: I think that's called murder.

Randy: [Brad has spelled "Melonology" on a Scrabble board] Melonology?
Brad: The study of melons.
Randy: There is no such thing as melonology.
Brad: Oh yeah? Call the produce department at the grocery store, and find out!
Randy: Who should I ask for, the melonologist?

Whew! That was hard to pick only four!

freelantzer November 10th, 2008 6:15 am

Re: Favorite TV Show Lines
From Alias:

Agent Marshall Flinkman: [to Jack, randomly and smugly in the middle of an intense op] Vaughn asked me to lunch.


Fury November 10th, 2008 3:09 pm

Re: Favorite TV Show Lines

Sawyer: What's your problem, Jumbotron?
Hurley: Shut up,!
Sawyer: Touché.

Jack: You picking up a little Korean there, Michael?
Michael: Yeah, I'm pretty sure I know how to say "faster" and "idiot".

R_U_Sirius November 13th, 2008 3:12 pm

Re: Favorite TV Show Lines
"The great thing about television is that if something important happens anywhere in the world, day or night, you can always change the channel."
From "Taxi"

freelantzer November 17th, 2008 3:42 am

Re: Favorite TV Show Lines
From House:

"Anagram for Gregory House: Huge ego, sorry." :rotfl:

vampiricduck November 17th, 2008 3:05 pm

Re: Favorite TV Show Lines
Turk: Look Jen, if you need any legal help concerning your accident, you can talk to Jim who is a very successful, bulldog of a lawyer
, or you can talk to Ted, who, well-

Ted: My Mom calls me Thunder.

Jen: I'm going to go with the less shiny one.

Jim: Tough break there, Thunder.


Hardcore_Raver November 18th, 2008 9:07 pm

Re: Favorite TV Show Lines
Some Simpsons quotes

Homer: [Opens a letter written with blood on the kitchen table and reads it] OH MY GOD! SOMEONE'S TRYING TO KILL ME! [Reads the letter some more] Oh wait, it's for Bart.

Homer: [after setting his diploma on fire and as the house burns around him] I am so smart! I am so smart! I am so smart!I am so smart! S-M-R-T! I mean, S-M-A-R-T!

Bart: We come now to the final and most terrifying painting of the evening. To even gaze upon it is to go mad!
Homer: [looking at picture] Aah! They're dogs... and they're playing poker [Homer screams, laughs hysterically and runs away.]

Homer: Marge, I know you didn't believe me about the vending machines, that's why I had the firemen write me a note!
Marge: [Reading] "Mrs. Simpson, while we were out rescuing your husband, a lumber yard burned down."
Homer: D'oh! [Ruefully] Lumber has a million uses.

Bart: Okay, I don't want Homer to come on the trip with me, so I'll just ask him and he'll say no. Then, it'll be his fault.
Homer: Okay, I don't want to go on the trip with Bart, so if he asks me... I'll just say yes!
Homer's Brain: Wait a minute! Are you sure this is how this kind of thing works?
Homer: Shut up brain, or I'll stab you with a Q-Tip!

Mr. Burns: Men, there's a little crippled boy sitting in a hospital who wants you to win this game. I know because.. I crippled him myself to inspire you.

Homer: That John is the greatest guy in the world. We've gotta have him and his wife over for drinks sometime.
Marge: Hmm, I don’t think he’s married, Homer.
Homer: Oh, a swinging bachelor, eh? Well, there’s lots of foxy ladies out there.
Marge: Homer, didn’t John seem a little… festive to you?
Homer: Couldn’t agree more, happy as a clam.
Marge: He prefers the company of men.
Homer: Who doesn’t?
Marge: Homer, listen carefully. John is a homo...
Homer: Right...
Marge: ...sexual.
Homer: [screams] Oh my god! Oh my god! Oh my god! Oh my god! I danced with a gay! Marge, Lisa, promise me you won’t tell anyone. [shaking Lisa] Promise me!!

Mr.Burns: Quick Smithers. Bring the mind eraser device!
Smithers:You mean the revolver, sir?
Mr.Burns: Precisely.

Smithers: "Sir, I'm afraid we have a bad image, people see you as a bit of an ogre."
Mr.Burns: "I ought to club them and eat their bones!"

Lionel Hutz: "Well, he's kind of had it in for me ever since I accidentally ran over his dog. Actually, replace "accidentally" with "repeatedly," and replace "dog" with "son"."

So many! I imagine I'll be back with more later!

pensieve_master November 18th, 2008 9:28 pm

Re: Favorite TV Show Lines
Classic Star Trek

McCoy: "I'm not a magician, Spock, just an old country doctor"
Spock: "As I always suspected"


McCoy: "I signed aboard this ship to practice medicine, not to have my atoms scattered back and forth across space by this gadget."

freelantzer November 19th, 2008 1:59 am

Re: Favorite TV Show Lines
From That 70's Show:

Donna (to Eric): I love you.
Eric: . . . I love . . . cake.


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