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ArryGrotter September 9th, 2007 3:41 am

Fan Scripts: Script your own version of Harry Potter
 
This is a thread where you can show how you would have scripted Harry Potter, or will, cause it's bound to be remade. Come and have a go!

Feb 2010 Edit:

Below is a list of all the scripts posted in this thread. There are three categories. Full scripts are completed adaption of one of the books. Uncompleted scripts are scripts that are not yet finished. Partial scripts are scripts of only certain scenes from the books, and the rest of that book has not been scripted.

Some users have posted multiple versions of their scripts, but only the latest is documented below.

SCRIPT LIBRARY
Full scripts:    


  
ArryGrotterPhilosopher’s Stone
PhrozononeHalf-Blood Prince (1, 2, 3)
Deathly Hallows Part 1 (1, 2)]
  

Uncompleted Scripts:    


  
Blast_endedDeathly Hallows Part 1
Half-Blood Prince
(1…)
rocknrollman95Deathly Hallows (1, ...)
KJRiddleDeathly Hallows (1…)
IenjoyAcidPopsHalf-Blood Prince (1, 2
3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, …)
Deathly Hallows (1, 2, …)
PhrozononeDeathly Hallows [One-shot] (1, 2, …)
Deathly Hallows Part 2 (1, …)
  




Original Post:    


  So, I've been thinking. Harry Potter will be remade, no doubt about it. So I thought, what would the script be like? It would have to be differrent. So I tried, myself, making a script for PS. It's a VERY early draft (It includes everything) and only covers the first two chapters and abit of the third.

Edit: This is my OLD VERSION and is very lengthy, my new version is posted further below (12)

NB: The Post #6 version of this script,which had the most cuts, has been deleted. What was cut in the script is now in red on this script.

My old Script:    


  
PS: The Boy Who Lived, The Vanishing Glass
FADE IN:

1 - EXT. LITTLE WHINGING/PRIVET DRIVE – MORNING – 1/11/1981

WIDE HELICOPTER SHOT of the neighbourhood around Privet Drive. TWO OWLS speed past. The CAMERA RUSHES DOWN, DOWN until it is FOLLOWING THE PATHWAY. Suddenly a TABBY CAT is WALKING ALONG WITH THE CAMERA. The camera RISES and TURNS so that 4 PRIVET DRIVE is visible. The cat makes itself comfortable on a BRICK WALL. Another OWL flies past in the background

2 - INT. 4 PRIVET DRIVE – SECONDS LATER – MORNING – 1/11/1981

CLOSE UP SHOT of an EXTREMELY BORING TIE. Camera zooms out to see the reflection of VERNON DURSLEY, a man in his early 20s, in a MIRROR. He picks up his SUITCASE and walks over to his wife, PETUNIA DURSLEY, also in her early 20s, and his one year old son, DUDLEY DURSLEY. Petunia gives Dudley a BOWL OF CEREAL. Dudley drops it on the floor. Vernon chuckles to himself.

VERNON DURSLEY
Little tyke

DUDLEY DURSLEY
Shan’t!

Petunia suddenly rushes right next to Dudley, so that her face is an inch away from his.

PETUNIA DURSLEY
What did you say?

Pause

DUDLEY DURSLEY
Shan’t!

PETUNIA DURSLEY
Vernon. Vernon! Did you hear that? His first word!

Petunia hugs Dudley.

VERNON DURSLEY
I’d better get to work. I’m expecting a large order of drills today.

Vernon kisses Petunia on the cheek.

PETUNIA DURSLEY
Have a good day.

Vernon leaves. Petunia scrunches up her nose as she picks up the bowl of cereal. She walks over to the KITCHEN SINK and dumps it in there. Then she pulls the CURTAIN back from the KITCHEN WINDOW and peers through it.

3 - EXT. 4 PRIVET DRIVE – THE SAME TIME – MORNING – 1/11/1981

As Vernon unlocks the front door of HIS CAR (manually), he notices the tabby cat on the opposite fence. It is reading a MAP. Vernon shakes his head and gets into the car. As he turns his head to reverse he notices the cat is staring at him. He stares back, and then drives off, ignoring the cat.


4 - EXT. SURREY – MINUTES LATER – MORNING – 1/11/1981

Vernon is drumming his fingers on the STEERING WHEEL. The camera shows that the TRAFFIC LIGHT is still red. It now allows for a GROUP OF PEOPLE to be shown below it, wearing CLOAKS. Vernon looks suspicious, nervous and panicked.

5 - INT. GRUNNINGS – MIDDAY – 1/11/1981

Vernon is at work. He is in the middle of yelling at one of the workers.

VERNON DURSLEY
…and next time, don’t misplace the drills, or there won’t be a next time!

GRUNNINGS WORKER 1
Yes, sir

The Grunnings worker nods and walks out of Vernon’s office. Vernon sits in his CHAIR, which doesn’t face the WINDOW. Vernon is incredible pleased with himself. In the window, an OWL flies by. Vernon looks at a photograph of him, Petunia and Dudley. He then checks his watch, and walks out, calling to the nearest person.

VERNON DURSLEY
Going to the bakers, in case anyone wants to know where I am.

6 - EXT. BAKERS/SURREY – SECONDS LATER – MIDDAY - 1/11/1981

Vernon emerges from the BAKERS holding a DOUGHNUT. As he begins to eat it, CLOAKED PEOPLE, different from those he saw earlier, come in his direction. Vernon gets angry. As the cloaked people get closer, Vernon hears some of the conversation.

CLOAKED PERSON 1
The Potters, that’s right, that’s what I heard…

CLOAKED PERSON 2
…yes, their son, Harry…

Vernon stops dead, shocked with fear.

7 - INT. GRUNNINGS – MINUTES LATER – MIDDAY – 1/11/1981

Vernon picks up the PHONE, and then puts it back down. He picks it up again, his finger nearing a button. His finger stays there for a while, but the phone is placed back on the receiver. On the third time, the phone manages its way to his ear. His finger is back, just above the button. The camera shown us it is labelled ‘Home’. There is a knock on the open door.


GRUNNINGS WORKER 2
Mr Dursley?

Vernon quickly looks up to the worker and back to the phone, then shoves the phone back in its original place.

8 - EXT. GRUNNINGS/SURREY – SUNSET – 1/11/1981

Looking flustered, Vernon makes his way to his car. He accidentally bumps into someone.

VERNON DURSLEY
Sorry

The person turns around, it is a cloaked person.

CLOAKED PERSON 3
Don’t be sorry my dear sir, for nothing could upset me today! Rejoice, for You-Know-Who has gone at last! Even Muggles like yourself should be celebrating, this happy, happy day!

The cloaked person hugs Vernon, who is standing there, frozen.

9 - INT. 4 PRIVET DRIVE – EVENING – 1/11/1981

Vernon is watching the news on the TELEVISION.

TELVESION VOICE (TED)
And finally, bird-watchers everywhere have reported that the nation’s owls have been behaving very unusually today. Although owls normally hunt at night and are hardly seen in daylight, there have been hundreds of sightings of these birds since sunrise. Experts are unable to explain why the owls have suddenly changed their sleeping pattern. Most mysterious. And now, over to Jim McGuffin with the weather. Going to be any more showers of owls to night Jim?

TELEVISION VOICE (JIM MCGUFFIN)
Well Ted, I don’t know about that, but it’s not only the owls that have been acting oddly today. Viewers as far apart as Kent, Yorkshire and Dundee have been phoning in to tell me that instead of the rain I promised yesterday, they’ve had a downpour of shooting stars! Perhaps people have been celebrating Bonfire Night early – it’s not until next week, folks! But I can promise a wet night tonight.

Throughout this Vernon gets more and more terrified. Suddenly Petunia walks in with TWO TEAS and sits down on the COUCH beside him. Still looking at the TV, Vernon says…

VERNON DURSLEY
Er – Petunia, dear – you haven’t heard from your sister lately, have you?

Petunia’s head suddenly snaps towards Vernon’s

PETUNIA DURSLEY
No. Why?

VERNON DURSLEY
Funny stuff on the news. Owls, shooting stars, and there were a lot of funny-looking people in town today…

PETUNIA DURSLEY
So?

VERNON DURSLEY
Well, I thought, maybe, it was something to do with, you know, her lot.

Pause. Petunia sips some tea.

VERNON DURSLEY
Their son, he’d be about Dudley’s age now, wouldn’t he?

PETUNIA DURSLEY
I suppose so.

VERNON DURSLEY
What’s his name again? Howard isn’t it?

PETUNIA DURSLEY
Harry. Nasty, common name, if you ask me.

Camera starts to zoom in on Vernon, which is horribly unsettled

VERNON DURSLEY
Oh, yes. Yes I quite agree

10 - INT. DURSLEYS’ BEDROOM/4 PRIVET DRIVE – LATE EVENING – 1/11/1981

Vernon is lying in his BED, deep in thought. Finally shrugs of his thoughts and goes to sleep. The camera PASSES THROUGH THE WINDOW to…

11 - EXT. 4 PRIVET DRIVE - THE SAME TIME – LATE EVENING – 1-2/11/1981

…the cat which is still sitting on the brick fence. It is stiff and looking in one direction. The camera then shows that the road is deserted. It finally rests on one of the STREET LAMPS. POP. Pause. A different POP. The lamp extinguishes. The camera CUTS BACK to the cat, which is now moving its head. The lamp nearest the brick wall extinguishes with another POP. The camera then CUTS to an elderly man standing in the once deserted street, he is putting away an OBJECT WHICH LOOKS LIKE A CIGARETTE LIGHTER (DELUMINATOR). The man, Albus Dumbledore, speaks to the cat.

ALBUS DUMBLEDORE
Fancy seeing you here, Professor McGonagall.

The camera turns to see that the cat is transforming into a woman in her late 50s, wearing a cloak.

MINERVA MCGONAGALL
How did you know it was me?

Dumbledore sits next to McGonagall on the fence.

ALBUS DUMBLEDORE
My dear Professor, I’ve never seen a cat sit so stiffly.

MINERVA MCGONAGALL
You’d be stiff if you’d been sitting on a brick wall all day.

ALBUS DUMBLEDORE
All day? When you could have been celebrating? I must have passed a dozen feasts and parties on my way here.

MINERVA MCGONAGALL
(Angrily) Oh yes, everyone’s celebrating, all right. You’d think they’d be a bit careful, but no – even the Muggles have noticed something’s going on. It was on their news. I heard it. Flocks of owls, shooting stars. Well, they’re not completely stupid. They were bound to notice something. Shooting stars down in Kent, I’ll bet that was Dedalus Diggle. He never had much sense.

ALBUS DUMBLEDORE
You can’t blame them. We’ve had had precious little to celebrate for eleven years.

MINERVA MCGONAGALL
I know that, but it’s no reason to lose our heads. People are being downright careless, out on the streets in broad daylight, not even dressed in Muggle clothes, swapping rumours.

McGonagall pauses and looks at Dumbledore as if she wants him to say something.

MINERVA MCGONAGALL
A fine thing it would be if, on the very day You-Know-Who seems to have disappeared at last, the Muggles found out about us all. I suppose he really has gone, Dumbledore?

ALBUS DUMBLEDORE
It certainly seems so. We have much to be thankful for. Would you care for a sherbet lemon?

MINERVA MCGONAGALL
A what?


Dumbledore pulls out a packet of SHERBET LEMONS and offers them to McGonagall.

ALBUS DUMBLEDORE
A sherbet lemon. They’re a kind of Muggle sweet I’m rather fond of.
McGonagall looks at the sherbet lemons, but says…

MINERVA MCGONAGALL
No thank you. (Pause)
As I say, even if You-Know-Who has gone…

ALBUS DUMBLEDORE
My dear Professor, surely a sensible person like yourself can call him by his real name? All this “You-Know-Who” nonsense – for eleven years I have been trying to persuade people to call him by his proper name, Voldemort [Vol-de-more].

McGonagall flinches at this name. Dumbledore is busy getting his sherbet lemons.

ALBUS DUMBLEDORE
It all gets confusing if we keep saying “You-Know-Who” I have never seen any reason to be frightened of saying Voldemort’s [Vol-de-mores] name.

MINERVA MCGONAGALL
I know you haven’t. But you’re different. Everyone knows you’re the only one You-Know…
Dumbledore looks at McGonagall.

MINERVA MCGONAGALL
…oh alright, (she lowers her voice) Voldemort [Vol-de-more] (She speaks at normal volume) was frightened of.

ALBUS DUMBLEDORE
You flatter me. Voldemort had powers I will never have.

MINERVA MCGONAGALL
Only because you’re too, well, noble to use them.

ALBUS DUMBLEDORE
It’s lucky it’s dark. I haven’t blushed this much since Madam Pomfrey told me she like my new earmuffs.

Pause.

MINERVA MCGONAGALL
The owls are nothing to the rumours that have been flying around. You know what everyone is saying? About why he’s disappeared?

Pause. Dumbledore says nothing.

MINERVA MCGONAGALL
What they’re saying is that night (Pause) Voldemort [Vol-de-more] turned up in Godric’s Hollow. He went to find the Potters. The rumour is that Lily and James Potter are, are, that they’re dead.

Dumbledore bows his head, McGonagall gasps.

MINERVA MCGONAGALL
Lily and James, I can’t believe it, I didn’t want to believe it, Oh Albus.

Dumbledore pats McGonagall on the shoulder.

ALBUS DUMBLEDORE
I know, I know.

MINERVA MCGONAGALL
That’s not all. They’re saying he tried to kill the Potter’s son, Harry. But, he couldn’t. He couldn’t kill that little boy. No one knows why, or how, but they’re saying that when he couldn’t kill Harry Potter, Voldemort’s power somehow broke, and that’s why he’s gone.

Dumbledore nods.

MINERVA MCGONAGALL
It’s, it’s true? After all he’s done, all the people he’s killed, he couldn’t kill a little boy? It’s just astounding, of all the things to stop him, but how in the name of heaven did Harry survive?

ALBUS DUMBLEDORE
We can only guess, we may never know.

Suddenly, Dumbledore takes out a WATCH WITH TWELVE HANDS AND MOVING PLANETS AROUND THE EDGES. The camera gets a CLOSE UP SHOT of this. Dumbledore pockets it.

ALBUS DUMBLEDORE
Hagrid’s late. I suppose it was he who told you I’d be here, by the way?

MINERVA MCGONAGALL
Yes. And I don’t suppose you’re going to tell me why you’re here of all places?

ALBUS DUMBLEDORE
I’ve come to bring Harry to his aunt and uncle. They’re the only family he has left now.
McGonagall is suddenly shocked.

MINERVA MCGONAGALL
You don’t mean… You can’t mean the people who live here? Dumbledore, you can’t. I’ve been watching them all day. You couldn’t find two people who are less like us. And they’ve got this son. I saw him kicking his mother all the way up the street. Harry Potter come and live here!

ALBUS DUMBLEDORE
It’ the best place for him. His aunt and uncle will be able to explain everything to him when he’s older. I’ve written them a letter.

MINERVA MCGONAGALL
A letter? Really Dumbledore, you think you can explain all this in a letter? These people will never understand him! He’ll be famous, a legend, I wouldn’t be surprised if today was known as Harry Potter Day in future. There will be books written about Harry. Every child in our world will know his name!

ALBUS DUMBLEDORE
Exactly. It would be enough to turn any boy’s head. Famous before he can walk and talk! Famous for something he won’t even remember! Can’t you see how much better off he’ll be, growing up away from all that until he is ready to take it?

McGonagall opens her mouth, and then shuts it again.

MINERVA MCGONAGALL
Yes. Yes, you’re right of course. But how is the boy getting here, Dumbledore?

ALBUS DUMBLEDORE
Hagrid’s bringing him.

MINERVA MCGONAGALL
You think it … wise to trust Hagrid with something as important as this?

ALBUS DUMBLEDORE
I would trust Hagrid with my life.

MINERVA MCGONAGALL
I’m not saying his heart isn’t in the right place but you can’t pretend he’s not careless. He does tend to…

Suddenly, a RUMBLE is heard.

MINERVA MCGONAGALL
What was that?

McGonagall and Dumbledore get of the brick wall and look down the deserted street. The rumble is getting LOUDER. When McGonagall finishes her search, she looks to Dumbledore, who is looking at the sky. A GIANT MOTORBIKE is landing. On the motorbike is RUBEUS HAGRID, an extremely large man in his early 50s. He gets off, carrying a bundle of blankets.

ALBUS DUMBLEDORE
Hagrid. At last. And where did you get that motorbike?

RUBEUS HAGRID
Borrowed it, Professor Dumbledore, sir. Young Sirius Black lent it me. I got him sir.

Hagrid looks down at the blankets. A 1-year-old HARRY POTTER is sleeping inside them. Dumbledore addresses Hagrid.

ALBUS DUMBLEDORE
No problems, were there?

RUBEUS HAGRID
No, sir – house was almost destroyed, but I got him out all right before the Muggles started swarmin’ around. He fell asleep as we was flyin’ over Bristol.

Dumbledore and McGonagall observe the baby. It has BLACK HAIR and GREEN EYES. On its forehead is a CUT, SHAPED LIKE LIGHTNING.

MINERVA MCGONAGALL
Is that where…?

ALBUS DUMBLEDORE
Yes. He’ll have that scar forever.

MINERVA MCGONAGALL
Couldn’t you do something about it, Dumbledore?

ALBUS DUMBLEDORE
Even if I could, I wouldn’t. Scars can come in handy. I have one myself above my left knee that is a perfect map of the London Underground. Well – give him here, Hagrid – we’d better get this over with.
Harry is passed from Hagrid to Dumbledore. The three of them turn to face number 4, sadness over all their faces.

RUBEUS HAGRID
Could I – could I say good-bye to him, sir?

Hagrid bends down and gives baby Harry a kiss, then lets out a saddened howl.

MINERVA MCGONAGALL
Shhh! You’ll wake the Muggles!

RUBEUS HAGRID
S-s-sorry

Hagrid takes out a LARGE SPOTTED HANKERCHIEF and wipes away his tears.

RUBEUS HAGRID
But I c-c-can’t stand it – Lily an’ James dead – an’ poor little Harry off ter live with Muggles…

MINERVA MCGONAGALL
Yes, yes, it’s all very sad, but get a grip on yourself, Hagrid, or we’ll be found.

McGonagall pats Hagrid on the arm. Dumbledore makes his way to the FRONT DOOR of number 4 and lays Harry on the DOORMAT. Dumbledore then takes out a LETTER and tucks it in Harry’s blankets. Dumbledore walks back and the three of them stand silently for a while, staring at baby Harry.

ALBUS DUMBLEDORE
Well, that’s that. We’ve no business staying here. We may as well go and join the celebrations.

RUBEUS HAGRID
Yeah, I best get this bike away. G’night, Professor McGonagall – Professor Dumbledore, sir.
Still moping up his tears, Hagrid gets back on the bike and departs.

ALBUS DUMBLEDORE
I shall see you soon, I expect, Professor McGonagall.

McGonagall blows her nose in a way of reply. Dumbledore walks back out to road. He pulls out the Deluminator and clicks it once, all the street lights come back to life. He looks back at NUMBER FOUR,PRIVET DRIVE where a tabby cat can now be seen, slowly departing.

ALBUS DUMBLEDORE
Good luck, Harry

Baby Harry turns in his sleep, clutching Dumbledore’s letter

CUT TO DARKNESS. Suddenly a shrill voice is heard.

PETUNIA DURSLEY
Up! Get up! Now!

12 - INT. THE CUPBOARD UNDER THE STAIRS - 4 PRIVET DRIVE – MORNING - 23/6/1991

A 10-YEAR-OLD HARRY POTTER wakes.

PETUNIA DURSLEY
Up!

It is heard that Petunia leaves and muddles around in the kitchen. Harry turns on his side. Through Harry’s POV muffled visions of a flying motorbike can be seen in front of the wall. Suddenly, Petunia voice can be heard again.

PETUNIA DURSLEY
Are you up yet?

HARRY POTTER
Nearly

PETUNIA DURSLEY
Well, get a move on, I want you to look after the bacon. And don’t you dare let it burn, I want everything perfect on Duddy’s birthday.

Harry groans.

PETUNIA DURSLEY
What did you say?

HARRY POTTER
Nothing, nothing…

13 - INT. THE ENTRANCE – 4 PRIVET DRIVE – MORNING – 23/6/1991

Harry walks out of his cupboard, brushing a spider of his shoulder. He makes his way to the kitchen.


14A - INT. THE KITCHEN - 4 PRIVET DRIVE – MORNING - 23/6/1991

The KITCHEN TABLE is covered with THIRTY-SEVEN PRESENTS. Uncle Vernon (now in his 30s) is sitting at the table, reading the newspaper.

VERNON DURSLEY
Comb your hair!

Harry ignores him and walks over to the FRYING PAN lying on the STOVETOP.

CUT TO:

14B - INT. THE KITCHEN - 4 PRIVET DRIVE – A LITTLE LATER - 23/6/1991

Harry is now serving the BACON to Vernon. Petunia (in her 30s too) and DUDLEY DURSLEY, an obese, blond, 11-year-old, enter. Dudley starts to count the presents, but is displeased.

DUDLEY DURSLEY
Thirty-six. That’s two less than last year.

PETUNIA DURSLEY
Darling, you haven’t counted Auntie Marge’s present.

She points to the smallest present.

PETUNIA DURSLEY
See, it’s here under this big one from Mummy and Daddy.

DUDLEY DURSLEY
All right, thirty-seven then.

Dudley gets angry. His hands are both on the table. Harry takes his plate to the kitchen and continues to eat there.

PETUNIA DURSLEY
And - And we’ll buy you another two presents while we’re out today. How’s that, popkin? Two more presents. Is that all right?

Dudley looks like he is concentrating really hard.

DUDLEY DURSLEY
So I’ll have thirty … thirty…

PETUNIA DURSLEY
Thirty-nine, sweetums

DUDLEY DURSLEY
Oh. All right then.

And he begins to unwrap his presents. Vernon chuckles.

VERNON DURSLEY
Little tyke wants his money’s worth, just like his father. ‘Atta boy, Dudley!

He ruffles Dudley’s hair, but Dudley isn’t paying attention. He has just unwrapped a REMOTE CONTROL AEROPLANE and has dived for another present. The TELEPHONE suddenly RINGS. Petunia goes to answer it. None of the conversation is heard. Harry just continues eating Dudley rips the wrapping of a cine-camera and a computer game. Petunia came back, both angry and worried.

PETUNIA DURSLEY
Bad news, Vernon. Mrs Figg’s broken her leg. She can’t take him.

Petunia jerks her head towards the kitchen, where Harry is still looking after the bacon. Dudley finally looks up, his mouth open in horror; ripping the wrapping he had just been holding as he does so, showing a gold wrist-watch.

PETUNIA DURSLEY
Now what?

VERNON DURSLEY
We could phone Marge.

PETUNIA DURSLEY
Don’t be silly, Vernon, she hates the boy.

VERNON DURSLEY
What about what’s-her-name, your friend – Yvonne?

PETUNIA DURSLEY
On holiday in Majorca.


HARRY POTTER
You could just leave me here.

Petunia suddenly turns on Harry.

PETUNIA DURSLEY
And come back and find the house in ruins?

HARRY POTTER
I won’t blow up the house.

PETUNIA DURSLEY
I suppose we could take him to the zoo … and leave him in the car…

VERNON DURSLEY
That car’s new, he’s not sitting in it alone…

Suddenly a loud wailing noise is heard. Dudley has begun to fake cry.

PETUNIA DURSLEY
Dinky Duddydums, don’t cry, Mummy won’t let him spoil your special day!

And she hugs her son.

DUDLEY DURSLEY
I … don’t … want … him … t-t-to come! He always sp-spoils everything!

Dudley gives Harry a nasty grin through his mother’s arms. Suddenly the doorbell rings. Petunia lets go of Dudley and he stop to cry at once.

PETUNIA DURSLEY
Oh, good Lord, they’re here!

She rushes to the front door, and comes back with PIERS POLKISS.

PETUNIA DURSLEY
Shall we get going then?

Petunia, Dudley and Piers all motion to go. Vernon stays where Harry is, confused.

VERNON DURSLEY
Well, you’ve nothing to do but come. You’ve managed to get your way. But I’m warning you, I’m warning you now, boy – any funny business, anything at all – and you’ll be in that cupboard from now until Christmas.

HARRY POTTER
I’m not going to do anything, honestly…

But Harry can’t seem to be able to mean the last word. As the sentence completes, the camera zooms in on Harry and a series of flashbacks begin.

14C - INT. A SCHOOL CLASSROOM - MIDDAY

The TEACHER’S WIG is suddenly TURNED BLUE.

14D - INT. THE KITCHEN - 4 PRIVET DRIVE

Petunia tries to force a JUMPER over Harry’s head. It shrinks and shrinks until it is so small it would fit a glove puppet.

14E - EXT. SCHOOL - LUNCHTIME

Dudley, Piers and some other of HIS GANG are chasing Harry. Harry tries to jump behind a BIN, but finds himself on the ROOF.

14F - INT. THE KITCHEN - 4 PRIVET DRIVE – MORNING - 23/6/1991

Harry is rather unsettled

15 - INT. / EXT. THE DURSLEY’S CAR – SURREY? – MID-MORNING - 23/6/1991

BRRRMMM. A motorbike overtakes the DURSLEY’S CAR.

VERNON DURSLEY
…roaring along like maniacs, the young hoodlums.

HARRY POTTER
I had a dream about a motorbike. It was flying.

Vernon nearly crashes into the car in front. He turns around in his seat to look at Harry

VERNON DURSLEY
MOTORBIKES DON’T FLY!

Dudley and Piers s******.

HARRY POTTER
I know they don’t. It was only a dream.

16 - EXT. CARPARK/ENTRANCE/ICE-CREAM VAN - THE ZOO – SURREY? – MID-MORNING - 23/6/1991

The Dursley’s car park at the zoo, which is very busy. The group walk up to the entrance, but Petunia is dragged by her son to an ICE-CREAM VAN, which is near by.

VERNON DURSLEY
Er – two large, chocolate sundaes.

Vernon points to Dudley and Piers as he says this.

ICE-CREAM LADY
And what do you want?

The ice-cream lady addresses Harry.

HARRY POTTER
Er…

VERNON DURSLEY
He’ll have…

Vernon looks at the MENU, the most expensive being a large chocolate sundae, the cheapest being a lemon ice-lolly, but Vernon is only interested in the latter.

VERNON DURSLEY
…a lemon ice-lolly.

17 - INT. THE ZOO – SURREY? – MID-MORNING - 23/6/1991

Harry observes a GORRILA while he licks his LEMON ICE-LOLLY. It is scratching its head. Harry turns to see Dudley also starching his head, looking remarkably like the gorilla, except with an addition of a CHOCOLATE SUNDAE.

18 - INT. RESTAURANT - THE ZOO – SURREY? – LUNCHTIME - 23/6/1991

The Dursley’s, Harry and Piers have just been served. Dudley’s meal looks massive compared to Harry’s, yet…

DUDLEY DURSLEY
It’s … too … SMALL!!!

Vernon calls over a waiter, has a quick word, then hands over some money. Seconds later, another waiter comes out with an either larger meal. This sobers Dudley.

VERNON DURSLEY
Harry, you can have this.

And he hands Dudley’s refused meal to Harry, who seems to be the happiest he’s ever been.


19 - INT. REPTILE HOUSE - THE ZOO – SURREY? – AFTERNOON - 23/6/1991

Dudley runs towards the GLASS CAGE of the LARGEST SNAKE, a BOA CONSTRICTOR. It is fast asleep. Dudley presses his nose against the glass, then turns to his father.

DUDLEY DURSLEY
Make it move.

Vernon taps on the glass, but the snake doesn’t move.

DUDLEY DURSLEY
Do it again.

Vernon taps the glass the glass again, but still nothing happens

DUDLEY DURSLEY
This is boring.

And he moves away, Harry, however, stays looking in on the snake relating to it. Then the snake opens its eyes and slowly raises its head so that it is level with Harry’s. The snake winks. Harry looks around, then back at the snake. The snake jerks his head where the Dursleys are now and rolls his eyes.

HARRY POTTER
It must be really annoying.

The snake nods.

HARRY POTTER
Where do you come from, anyway?

The snake points its tail at the SIGN next to the glass. It reads ‘Boa Constrictor, Brazil.’

HARRY POTTER
Was it nice there?

The snake points again to the sign. Beneath it is a SMALLER SIGN. It reads ‘This specimen was bred in the zoo.’

HARRY POTTER
Oh, I see – so you’ve never been to Brazil?

As the snake shakes its head, a loud shout can be heard from behind…

PIERS POLKISS
DUDLEY! MR DURSLEY! COME AND LOOK AT THIS SNAKE! YOU WON’T BELIEVE WHAT IT’S DOING!

Dudley rushes up to the snake’s cage.

DUDLEY DURSLEY
Out of the way, you.

And he punches Harry in the ribs. Harry falls onto the CONCRETE FLOOR. Piers and Dudley lean right up to the glass then suddenly they become unsteady as the GLASS DISAPPEARS. The snake uncoils itself and slithers out of its cage, onto the floor. People scream and run for the exits. The snake goes past Harry (on the floor) and a voice can be heard…

SNAKE
Brazil, here I come … Thanksss, amigo.

And it slithers out the door; Harry follows it with his eyes, a little confused.

20 - INT. OFFICE - THE ZOO – SURREY? – SOON AFTER - 23/6/1991

The group are sitting in the zoo’s office. The ZOO’S DIRECTOR is handing Petunia tea. Her hand is trembling. A voice comes from the corner.

REPTILE HOUSE KEEPER
But the glass. Where did the glass go?

ZOO DIRECTOR
Will you excuse me?

The two Zoo worker’s leave the office, leaving the group to talk on their own accord. Dudley and Piers seem to have got their confidence back.

DUDLEY DURSLEY
Did you see how it nearly bit off by leg? But I shook it off…

PIERS POLKISS
I swear it was trying to squeeze me to death.

Piers suddenly turns on Harry.

PIERS POLKISS
Harry was talking to it, weren’t you, Harry?

Harry is lost for words. Vernon looks at Harry with hatred over his face.

20 - INT. ENTRANCE – 4 PRIVET DRIVE – LATE AFTERNOON - 23/6/1991

The Dursleys and Harry walk into their house, all a little shaken.

VERNON DURSLEY
Go – cupboard – stay – no meals.

Harry goes into…

21 - INT. THE CUPBOARD UNDER THE STAIRS – 4 PRIVET DRIVE – CONTINUING - 23/6/1991

…his cupboard, lies in bed, but doesn’t go to sleep. Remembered voices echo in head.

(YOUNG) HARRY POTTER (OV)
How did I get my scar?

PETUNIA DURSLEY (OV)
In the car crash when your parents died. And don’t ask questions

The room is suddenly filled with green light, as though Harry is remembering it.

FADE TO BLACK

CUT TO MONTAGUE OF SCENES:

22A - EXT. BACK GARDEN – 4 PRIVET DRIVE – MORNING - 12/7/1991

Dudley crashes his REMOTE CONTROL AEROPLANE into the neighbour’s window.

22B - INT. 2 PRIVET DRIVE – CONTINUING - 12/7/1991

The neighbour looks up, thinking the plane was a bird, and continues to read his NEWSPAPER.

22C - EXT. BACK GARDEN – 4 PRIVET DRIVE – CONTINUING - 12/7/1991

Dudley shows no emotion and turns back into the house.


23 - EXT. 4 PRIVET DRIVE – EARLY AFTERNOON - 17/7/1991

Dudley is struggling to ride his RACING BIKE, looks down at the pedals which he can’t manage to push enough, and…

WHAM!

ARABELLA FIGG, on crutches, is knocked over, though not hurt.

24 - INT. ENTRANCE – 4 PRIVET DRIVE – MORNING - 20/7/1991

Vernon is holding the door to the cupboard under the stairs open, letting, Harry walk out, but there is no happiness on his face. A group of boys are on the staircase watching the scene, they are Dudley, Piers, DENNIS, MALCOLM and GORDON.

HARRY POTTER
What day is it?

VERNON DURSLEY
July 20. But you’d be in here for another five months if I had my way.

HARRY POTTER
So school’s over? And then I’ll be going to…?

He waits for an answer.

VERNON DURSLEY
Well, Dudley’s going to Smeltings, my old school, the finest institute.

Vernon suddenly turns sour.

VERNON DURSLEY
You, on the other hand, are off to Stonewall High.

He speaks the last to words with disgust. Dudley’s gang on the stairs laugh.

DUDLEY DURSLEY
They stuff people’s heads down the toilet the first day at Stonewall. Want to come upstairs and practice?

Harry turns to him coolly

HARRY POTTER
No, thanks. The poor toilet’s never had anything as horrible as your head down it – it might be sick.

And Harry walks out the front door.
  



So when there is a remake, would this be a contender?
  


Paper_Shoes September 9th, 2007 4:18 am

Re: The next Harry Potter Remake
 
Well, that's about 20 minutes and not much happens. It includes much more than is needed is occasionally pretty redundant. I haven't read it in a while, but it seems like you mainly just reformatted the book. You should try making some cuts.

I've actually recently been thinking about how I would have done the first movie. Maybe I should write it out.

CleanSweepSeven September 9th, 2007 6:48 am

Re: The next Harry Potter Remake
 
I really liked how you did a zoom out from Vernon's extremely boring tie.:rotfl:

There was a mistake, though. The book said "Dudley learned a new word, 'shan't". I assume this means it was not his first word.

Also, you repeated the sentence "About why he's disappeared?" (McGonagall to Dumbledore)

ArryGrotter September 9th, 2007 6:48 am

Re: The next Harry Potter Remake
 
Yeah, I did.

I added instead of cutting (though I did rework a few things) and I will, a some point go back and cut.

Should I emphisise again this is a VERY, VERY, VERY early draft

Quote:

Originally Posted by CleanSweepSeven (Post 4769296)
I really liked how you did a zoom out from Vernon's extremely boring tie.:rotfl:

There was a mistake, though. The book said "Dudley learned a new word, 'shan't". I assume this means it was not his first word.

Also, you repeated the sentence "About why he's disappeared?" (McGonagall to Dumbledore)

I liked the tie thing too, my brain amazes me.

Yeah, I thought it would be cooler if Shan't would be Dudley's first word. I also didn't want to make to have him say it while Vernon was at work (as in the book), so added it into the Vernon pecked Petunia on the cheek; Dudley was throwing cereal' scene.

You'll also find that the last scene posted is a mix of references in the book. In the book, that scene is just Dudley telling Harry about the toilets.

And, whoops :whistle: Sorry!

AptPupil September 9th, 2007 6:59 am

Re: The next Harry Potter Remake
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by ArryGrotter (Post 4768893)
So, I've been thinking. Harry Potter will be remade, no doubt about it. So I thought, what would the script be like? It would have to be differrent. So I tried, myself, making a script for PS. It's a VERY early draft (It includes everything) and only covers the first two chapters and abit of the third.



So when there is a remake, would this be a contender?

I actually think you open the movie in a much more intriguing way than Columbus. I loved the Uncle Vernon tie shot. You have imagination as a screenwriter.

But: I do think you should cut mercilessly. At some points it seems like you're taking it chapter by chapter. I recommend that you look at the story as a whole and go from there. Also: don't hesitate to deviate from the plot. I think you'll have more fun if you do.

But all in all, good work. It was very well-formatted. :tu:

ArryGrotter September 9th, 2007 7:00 am

Re: The next Harry Potter Remake
 
Now fixed (talking about double dialogue.)

I'm not really going to cut it until the first draft is finished, and I posted everything I've done.
---
I decided to do some cuts. I cant be bothered centering, sorry. Edit: Word to the wise: do your centering before you post and not in edit mode.

NB: This is now deleted as I felt we didn't need this twice. What was cut is now red on the Post 1 version
---
OK, here is some extra scenes I just did.

My old script Part II:    


  
PS: Mrs.Figg's, Dudley's Uniform (The Letter's From No one)25A - EXT. DOORSTEP – MRS FIGG’S HOUSE – MORNING - 23/7/1991

Petunia and Harry are on the doorstep of Mrs Figg’s. She has opened the door to find them there. Vernon and Dudley can be seen in the car in the background.

PETUNIA DURSLEY
Do you mind?

ARABELLA FIGG
Not at all.

And without a single look at Harry, she leaves.

25B - INT. MRS FIGG’S HOUSE – MORNING - 23/7/1991

Mrs. Figg ushers Harry in, sits him down on the couch, next to where a cat is sleeping, and changes the channel on the TV.

ARABELLA FIGG
There you go, Harry.

Harry looks at the remote on the table to the television, which now shows a cartoon.

CARTOON VOICE
Wow! I wish I could fly!

MEEEEEOWWW! Mrs Figg has come back, another cat by her heels, carrying a piece of cake.

ARABELLA FIGG
Cake?

Harry takes it, and screws his face with disgust…

26 - INT. LIVING ROOM – 4 PRIVET DRIVE – EVENING - 23/7/1991

…and as the camera zooms out, we find he is disgusted at the Dursley’s as they are proud of their son in his NEW UNIFORM: A MAROON TAILCOAT, AN ORANGE KNICKERBOCKER AND A FLAT STRAW HAT. Dudley is also carrying a KNOBBLY STICK.

VERNON DURSLEY
Proudest moment of my life.

Petunia bursts into tears of joy.

PETUNIA DURSLEY
Can’t believe – it’s my Ickle my Ickle Dudleykins! So handsome and grown-up.

It turns back to Dudley. It looks like the uniform is about to burst open with the amount of weight he has. Harry looks like he is about to laugh.
  


ArryGrotter September 11th, 2007 7:24 am

Re: The next Harry Potter Remake
 
Here's the next part

My old script Part III:    


  
PS: The Letter's from No One27A - INT. KITCHEN – 4 PRIVET DRIVE – MORNING - 24/7/1991

As Harry opens the door to come in, he screws up his nose and walks over to the sink, where Petunia is DYING CLOTHES GREY.

HARRY POTTER
What’s this?

Petunia turns on Harry, lips tightened, but answers.

PETUNIA DURSLEY
Your new school uniform.

Harry looks uncertainly in the bowl

HARRY POTTER
Oh, I didn’t realize it had to be so wet.

PETUNIA DURSLEY
Don’t be stupid. I’m dyeing some of Dudley’s old things grey for you. It’ll look just like everyone else’s when I’ve finished.

Harry looks at the clothes on the grey water. The camera ZOOMS IN to this.

27B - INT. KITCHEN – 4 PRIVET DRIVE – MORNING - 24/7/1991

Harry is now eating A SINGLE PIECE OF TOAST at the KITCHEN TABLE. Dudley and Uncle Vernon come in with wrinkled noses. Vernon is carrying the newspaper. He unfolds it and begins to read it when he is seated. Dudley is carrying his SMELTINGS STICK. He places this next to the large serving of BACON AND EGGS he was just given by Petunia. She places Vernon’s on the table, and as she is just about to return to the kitchen, the NOISE OF LETTERS DELIVERED is heard. Petunia stops dead for a slight moment, then continues back to the kitchen.

VERNON DURSLEY
Get the mail, Dudley.

DUDLEY DURSLEY
Make Harry get it.

Vernon takes down the newspaper and notices for the first time that Harry is in the room.

VERNON DURSLEY
Get the mail, Harry.

HARRY POTTER
Make Dudley get it.

DUDLEY DURSLEY
Poke him with your Smelting stick, Dudley.

And Dudley, happy for an excuse to use it, reaches for his Smeltings stick, while shovelling food in with his other hand. He turns around and finds Harry has already gone past.

28 - INT. ENTRANCE – 4 PRIVET DRIVE – CONTINUING - 24/7/1991

Harry walks to the pile of letters lying on the MAT glumly. He picks them up and they are shown to the audience: A POSTCARD SHOWING ISLE OF WIGHT AND A FAT WOMAN, AUNT MARGE, WHO LOOKS LIKE VERNON; A BILL; and A LETTER OF YELLOW PARCHMENT WITH THE WORDS: Mr H. Potter, The Cupboard under the Stairs, 4 Privet Drive, Little Whinging, Surrey WRITTEN ON IN GREEN INK. Harry stares at the letter, it is unbelievable. He turns it over to see A COAT OF ARMS FORMED BY A LION, EAGLE, BADGER AND SNAKE AROUND AN ‘H’ ON A PURPLE WAX SEAL. Then…

VERNON DURSLEY (OV)
Hurry up, boy! What are you doing, checking for letter bombs?

Vernon chuckles at his own joke. Harry is out of his trance and motions towards the door.

28 - INT. KITCHEN – 4 PRIVET DRIVE – CONTINUING - 24/7/1991

Harry walks back in, still staring at his letter. It is separate to the bill and postcard now and he hands this to Vernon, who is still behind the newspaper.

VERNON DURSLEY
Marge’s ill. (speaking to Petunia) Ate a funny whelk…
But he is cut off by Dudley.

DUDLEY DURSLEY
Dad! Dad, Harry’s got something!

Harry is shown to be just about to be unfolding the LETTER inside, but it is forced away my Vernon.

HARRY POTTER
That’s MINE!

He tries to snatch it back.

VERNON DURSLEY
Who’d be writing to you?

Petunia looks at Harry and the letter, looking as though she thinks she knows this answer, but at the same time doesn’t want to know the answer. Vernon opens the letter and on first glance is frozen, and terrified.

VERNON DURSLEY
P-P-Petunia!

Dudley reaches this time. Harry just looks confused. Petunia, thinking she knows what it is, takes it from Vernon. She reads it for about 2 seconds and when she finishes, she looks as though she is about to faint, but chokes a few words.

PETUNIA DURSLEY
Vernon! Oh my goodness – Vernon!

They stare at each other. Dudley gives Vernon a hit on the head with his Smeltings stick for being ignored.

DUDLEY DURSLEY
I want to read that letter!

HARRY POTTER
I want to read it, as it’s mine.

VERNON DURSLEY
Get out, both of you

He stuffs the letter in his pocket. Neither move.

HARRY POTTER
I WANT MY LETTER!

DUDLEY DURSLEY
Let me see it!

VERNON DURSLEY
OUT!

Vernon chucks them out of the room.

29A - INT. ENTRANCE – 4 PRIVET DRIVE – CONTINUING - 24/7/1991

Vernon slams the door in their faces. Harry and Dudley have a silent fight over the keyhole, Dudley ends up barging Harry so that he lands on the BOTTOM STEP, which SQUEAKS, but Dudley does not care, he is already listening through the keyhole, though looking bored.

29B - INT. KITCHEN – 4 PRIVET DRIVE – MORNING - 24/7/1991

Petunia has heard the squeak through the door and seems to be more scared at this, possibly disgusted. He looks down at the envelope that she is now holding, and addresses Vernon.

PETUNIA DURSLEY
Vernon, look at the address – how could they possibly know where he sleeps? You don’t think they’re watching the house?

VERNON DURSLEY
Watching – spying – might be following us.

PETUNIA DURSLEY
But what should we do, Vernon? Should we write back? Tell them we don’t want…

29C - INT. ENTRANCE – 4 PRIVET DRIVE – MORNING - 24/7/1991

Harry is lying on his stomach listening through the crack under the kitchen door. The light shifts around in the crack, and a shot shows feet pacing.

29D - INT. KITCHEN – 4 PRIVET DRIVE – MORNING - 24/7/1991

Vernon stops pacing

VERNON DURSLEY
No. No, we’ll ignore it. If they don’t get an answer … yes, that’s best … we won’t do anything…

PETUNIA DURSLEY
But…

29E - INT. ENTRANCE – 4 PRIVET DRIVE – MORNING - 24/7/1991

The camera zooms into a confused Harry.

VERNON DURSLEY (OV)
I’m not having one in the house, Petunia! Didn’t we swear when we took him in we’d stamp out that dangerous nonsense?
  



OK I had real trouble with the letter scene because I built up Petunia's charcter, but then when it came to her reaction to the letter it didn't fit. I left the stuff I added in there I hope it works, but I'm not sure.
---
Scene 26 and 27A are cut now, just so you know

Wright1771 September 11th, 2007 9:50 am

Re: The next Harry Potter Remake
 
Don't know, but I hope I've passed through the veil, before they do!

Half_Blood26 September 17th, 2007 12:14 am

Re: Fan Scripts: Harry Potter Remakes
 
Wow I never really thought about a Remake of the movie before, but I Guess it would be a long time before it does though, say...2030/2040?
I don't have my book with me as a reference right now, but I will definately make a script, so expect one later.

ArryGrotter September 17th, 2007 7:07 am

Re: Fan Scripts: Harry Potter Remakes
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by Half_Blood26 (Post 4779225)
Wow I never really thought about a Remake of the movie before, but I Guess it would be a long time before it does though, say...2030/2040?

And I'll be the perfect age to write/direct etc.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Half_Blood26 (Post 4779225)
I don't have my book with me as a reference right now, but I will definately make a script, so expect one later.

Great! Can't wait to see it!

On a side note I cut Mrs Figg's scene in PS.
I wrote a draft of a scene to pout in OotP to cover it up.

OotP: Dudley DementedHarry sees someone walk out of their house. He shoves his wand in his back pocket. When level with the person, he realises it is Mrs Figg.

ARABELLA FIGG
Harry! I haven’t seen you in ages. I should phone Petunia and see if she needs me to look after you.

HARRY POTTER
Yeah. Er – Thanks Mrs Figg


I have a new rule: Not introduce anything that isn't explained my the end of the film.
Of course I won't pull everything out of PS,CoS,PoA,GoF,OotP and HBP and shove them in DH. It is only for the minor things.

Moriath September 17th, 2007 11:17 pm

Re: The next Harry Potter Remake
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by ArryGrotter (Post 4775678)
Ooh thanks whoever did that!

You're welcome. :)

ArryGrotter September 27th, 2007 7:38 am

Re: Fan Scripts: Harry Potter Remakes
 
It took me a while to find this thread, I hope people are reading it.

Well I am not so happy with my original script, so I decided to start again...

NEW SCRIPT - PS: Whisphers (The Boy Who Lived)
1 – EXT. GREY CLOUDS

GREY CLOUDS form, and a LOUD, HOARSE, HARSH voice is heard:

SYBILL TRELAWNEY
The one with the power to vanquish the Dark Lord…

But the voice is CUT OFF with another voice, HIGH and COLD, and a GREEN LIGHT FILLS THE SCREEN.

VOLDEMORT
Avada Kedavra!

SYBILL TRELAWNEY
…approaches.

And as the CLOUDS RETURN, the TITLE ‘Harry Potter and the Philosopher’s Stone’ FILLS THE SCREEN.

THE CLOUDS PART and a SIMPLE SUBURBAN HOUSE can be seen, baked on by the BRIGHT SUN. A CAT walks INTO FRAME and sits on the house’s BRICK FENCE. The title FADES leaving a shot of the house…

2 - INT. 4 PRIVET DRIVE – MORNING – 1/11/1981

…which CUTS to a CLOSE UP SHOT of an EXTREMELY BORING TIE. The camera ZOOMS OUT to see the REFLECTION of VERNON DURSLEY, a man in his EARLY 20S, in the KITCHEN MIRROR. The MIRRORED VERSION of Vernon smiles to himself. He picks up his SUITCASE and walks over to his wife, PETUNIA DURSLEY, also in her EARLY 20S. The KISS ON THE CHECK he gives her is VIEWED THROUGH THE MIRROR. Petunia notices the mirror and looks at herself and Vernon through it smiling.

A CLATTER and a SPLATTER…

DUDLEY DURSLEY
Shan’t!

1-YEAR-OLD DUDLEY DURSLEY has dropped his BOWL OF CEREAL in protest. Petunia rushes over to help and the CAMERA FLIES OUT of the room, past the cat still sitting on the brick wall, watch Vernon get into his CAR, past the many OWLS now circulating the sky…

3 - EXT/INT. SURREY – MORNING – 1/11/1981

…and to the odd people DRESSED IN CLOAKS…

CLOAKED PERSON 1
The Potters, that’s right, that’s what I heard…

CLOAKED PERSON 2
…yes, their son, Harry…

…who MOVE to show Vernon in his car, WINDOWS DOWN, face covered with DREAD, SHOCK and FEAR. He suddenly realises the LIGHTS ARE GREEN, that there is A LARGE GAP IN FRONT OF HIM and that PEOPLE ARE BEEPING THEIR HORNS AT HIM, and continue to drive.


And I thought that was short! I didn't realise how long it was.

Going to delete...something.
---
Have deleted the seemingly useless 'cut script' and have put what was cut in red in the 'uncut' script. But still, I can hardly see that slidy thing on the side of the page.
---
And my 'script outline', it doesn't serve any purpose.

ArryGrotter September 30th, 2007 2:36 am

Re: Fan Scripts: Harry Potter Remakes
 
The next part of my new script, maybe I should put it in one post and delete the previous post, or just say go to post _

PS: News (The Boy Who Lived)
CUTS TO:
4 – INT. 4 PRIVET DRIVE – EVENING – 1/11/1981

Vernon walks into the KITCHEN. Petunia is busy making DINNER.

PETUNIA DURSLEY
Evening.

Vernon replies, not with Petunia’s PLEASANT tones, but quite EMPTY.

VERNON DURSLEY
Evening.

A voice FADES IN.

TELEVISION – TED (OV)
…and now, over to Jim McGuffin with the weather. Going to be any more showers of owls to night Jim?

The TELEVISION has got Vernon’s attention. Its SCREEN fills the screen.

TELEVISION – JIM MCGUFFIN
It’s not only the owls that have been acting oddly today. Viewers as far apart as Kent, Yorkshire and Dundee have been phoning in to tell me they’ve had a downpour of shooting stars! Perhaps people have been celebrating Bonfire Night early – it’s not until next week, folks!

Finally, he decides to talk to Petunia

VERNON DURSLEY
Er…Petunia.

Petunia doesn’t look up, but replies

PETUNIA DURSLEY
Yes?

VERNON DURSLEY
You haven’t heard from you’re your sister lately?

Petunia STOPS EVERTHING SHE IS DOING and replies RUDELY

PETUNIA DURSLEY
No. Why?

VERNON DURSLEY
Funny stuff on the news. (He motions his hand towards it) Owls, shooting stars, and there were a lot of funny-looking people in town today. I thought, maybe, it was something to do with, you know, her lot.

Petunia sniffs, IN A WAY OF A REPLY, and continues to prepare dinner. Vernon looks A LITTLE SCARED to say his next sentence.

VERNON DURSLEY
There son, about Dudley’s age, wouldn’t he be, what’s his name again? Howard, isn’t it

PETUNIA DURSLEY
(Still making dinner) Harry, nasty common name isn’t it?

Camera starts to ZOOM IN on Vernon, which is horribly UNSETTLED

VERNON DURSLEY
Yes I quite agree.

5 – INT. 4 PRIVET DRIVE – LATE EVENING – 1/11/1981

Vernon is lying in his BED, deep in thought. He shrugs of his thoughts and goes to sleep. The camera PASSES THROUGH THE WINDOW to…


What a cliffhanger!

--
I've changed Scene 1 (The Prologue) slightly:

PS: Prologue1 – EXT. HALL OF PROPHECY (+ Misc.)

A GLASS ORB is ZOOMED IN on. INSIDE THE ORB, GREY CLOUDS form, and a LOUD, HOARSE, HARSH voice is heard:

SYBILL TRELAWNEY
The one with the power to vanquish the Dark Lord…

But the voice is CUT OFF with another voice, HIGH and COLD, and a GREEN LIGHT FILLS THE SCREEN.

VOLDEMORT
Avada Kedavra!

SYBILL TRELAWNEY
…approaches…

And as the CLOUDS CAN BE SEEN AGAIN, the TITLE ‘Harry Potter and the Philosopher’s Stone’ FILLS THE SCREEN.

THE CLOUDS DISSAPEAR and a SIMPLE SUBURBAN HOUSE can be seen, baked on by the BRIGHT SUN. A CAT walks INTO FRAME and sits on the house’s BRICK FENCE. The title FADES leaving a shot of the house…


---
I don't know what to do for the next scene, what to keep, what to leave out.

Last time I did the whole scene, even the sherbet lemons, and I don't know what should go... (Edit: The sherbet lemons were cut)

This is my old scene (cuts in red) it's really long, something has to go...

The old arrival scene:    


  
OLD SCRIPT - PS: Night time arrival (The Boy Who Lived)EXT. 4 PRIVET DRIVE - LATE EVENING – 1-2/11/1981

…the cat which is still sitting on the brick fence. It is stiff and looking in one direction. The camera then shows that the road is deserted. It finally rests on one of the STREET LAMPS. POP. Pause. A different POP. The lamp extinguishes. The camera CUTS BACK to the cat, which is now moving its head. The lamp nearest the brick wall extinguishes with another POP. The camera then CUTS to an elderly man standing in the once deserted street, he is putting away an OBJECT WHICH LOOKS LIKE A CIGARETTE LIGHTER (DELUMINATOR). The man, Albus Dumbledore, speaks to the cat.

ALBUS DUMBLEDORE
Fancy seeing you here, Professor McGonagall.

The camera turns to see that the cat is transforming into a woman in her late 50s, wearing a cloak.

MINERVA MCGONAGALL
How did you know it was me?

Dumbledore sits next to McGonagall on the fence.

ALBUS DUMBLEDORE
My dear Professor, I’ve never seen a cat sit so stiffly.

MINERVA MCGONAGALL
You’d be stiff if you’d been sitting on a brick wall all day.

ALBUS DUMBLEDORE
All day? When you could have been celebrating? I must have passed a dozen feasts and parties on my way here.

MINERVA MCGONAGALL
(Angrily) Oh yes, everyone’s celebrating, all right. Even the Muggles have noticed something’s going on. I heard it on their news. Flocks of owls, shooting stars. Well, they were bound to notice something. Shooting stars down in Kent, I’ll bet that was Dedalus Diggle. He never had much sense.

ALBUS DUMBLEDORE
You can’t blame them. We’ve had had precious little to celebrate for eleven years.

MINERVA MCGONAGALL
I know that, but it’s no reason to lose our heads. People are being downright careless, out on the streets in broad daylight, not even dressed in Muggle clothes, swapping rumours.

McGonagall pauses and looks at Dumbledore as if she wants him to say something.

MINERVA MCGONAGALL
A fine thing it would be if, on the very day You-Know-Who seems to have disappeared at last, the Muggles found out about us all. I suppose he really has gone, Dumbledore?

ALBUS DUMBLEDORE
It certainly seems so. We have much to be thankful for. Would you care for a sherbet lemon?

MINERVA MCGONAGALL
A what?


Dumbledore pulls out a packet of SHERBET LEMONS and offers them to McGonagall.

ALBUS DUMBLEDORE
A sherbet lemon. They’re a kind of Muggle sweet I’m rather fond of.

McGonagall looks at the sherbet lemons, but says…


MINERVA MCGONAGALL
No thank you. (Pause) As I say, even if You-Know-Who has gone…

ALBUS DUMBLEDORE
My dear Professor, surely a sensible person like yourself can call him by his real name? All this “You-Know-Who” nonsense – for eleven years I have been trying to persuade people to call him by his proper name, Voldemort [Vol-de-more].

McGonagall flinches at this name. Dumbledore is busy getting his sherbet lemons; It is unnoticed by Dumbledore.

ALBUS DUMBLEDORE
It all gets confusing if we keep saying “You-Know-Who” I have never seen any reason to be frightened of saying Voldemort’s [Vol-de-mores] name.

MINERVA MCGONAGALL
I know you haven’t. But you’re different. Everyone knows you’re the only one You-Know…

Dumbledore looks at McGonagall.

MINERVA MCGONAGALL
…oh alright, (she lowers her voice) Voldemort [Vol-de-more] (She speaks at normal volume) was frightened of.

ALBUS DUMBLEDORE
You flatter me. Voldemort had powers I will never have.

MINERVA MCGONAGALL
Only because you’re too, well, noble to use them.

ALBUS DUMBLEDORE
It’s lucky it’s dark. I haven’t blushed this much since Madam Pomfrey told me she like my new earmuffs.

Pause.

MINERVA MCGONAGALL
The owls are nothing to the rumours that have been flying around. You know what everyone is saying? About why he’s disappeared?

Pause. Dumbledore says nothing.

MINERVA MCGONAGALL
What they’re saying is that night (Pause) Voldemort [Vol-de-more] turned up in Godric’s Hollow. He went to find the Potters. The rumour is that Lily and James Potter are, are, that they’re dead.

Dumbledore bows his head, McGonagall gasps.

MINERVA MCGONAGALL
Lily and James, I can’t believe it, I didn’t want to believe it, Oh Albus.

Dumbledore pats McGonagall on the shoulder.

ALBUS DUMBLEDORE
I know, I know.

MINERVA MCGONAGALL
That’s not all. They’re saying he tried to kill the Potter’s son, Harry. But, he couldn’t. He couldn’t kill that little boy. No one knows why, or how, but they’re saying that when he couldn’t kill Harry Potter, Voldemort’s power somehow broke, and that’s why he’s gone.

Dumbledore nods.

MINERVA MCGONAGALL
It’s, it’s true? After all he’s done, all the people he’s killed, he couldn’t kill a little boy? It’s just astounding, of all the things to stop him, but how in the name of heaven did Harry survive?

ALBUS DUMBLEDORE
We can only guess, we may never know.

Suddenly, Dumbledore takes out a WATCH WITH TWELVE HANDS AND MOVING PLANETS AROUND THE EDGES. The camera gets a CLOSE UP SHOT of this. Dumbledore pockets it.

Pause.

ALBUS DUMBLEDORE
Hagrid’s late. I suppose it was he who told you I’d be here, by the way?

MINERVA MCGONAGALL
Yes. And I don’t suppose you’re going to tell me why you’re here of all places?

ALBUS DUMBLEDORE
I’ve come to bring Harry to his aunt and uncle. They’re the only family he has left now.

McGonagall is suddenly shocked.

MINERVA MCGONAGALL
You don’t mean… You can’t mean the people who live here? Dumbledore, you can’t. I’ve been watching them all day. You couldn’t find two people who are less like us. And they’ve got this son. I saw him kicking his mother all the way up the street. Harry Potter come and live here!

ALBUS DUMBLEDORE
It’ the best place for him. His aunt and uncle will be able to explain everything to him when he’s older. I’ve written them a letter.

MINERVA MCGONAGALL
A letter? Really Dumbledore, you think you can explain all this in a letter? These people will never understand him! He’ll be famous, a legend, I wouldn’t be surprised if today was known as Harry Potter Day in future. There will be books written about Harry. Every child in our world will know his name!

ALBUS DUMBLEDORE
Exactly. It would be enough to turn any boy’s head. Famous before he can walk and talk! Famous for something he won’t even remember! Can’t you see how much better off he’ll be, growing up away from all that until he is ready to take it?

McGonagall opens her mouth, and then shuts it again.

MINERVA MCGONAGALL
Yes. Yes, you’re right of course. But how is the boy getting here, Dumbledore?

ALBUS DUMBLEDORE
Hagrid’s bringing him.

MINERVA MCGONAGALL
You think it … wise to trust Hagrid with something as important as this?

ALBUS DUMBLEDORE
I would trust Hagrid with my life.

MINERVA MCGONAGALL
I’m not saying his heart isn’t in the right place but you can’t pretend he’s not careless. He does tend to…

Suddenly, a RUMBLE is heard.

MINERVA MCGONAGALL
What was that?

McGonagall and Dumbledore get of the brick wall and look down the deserted street. The rumble is getting LOUDER. When McGonagall finishes her search, she looks to Dumbledore, who is looking at the sky. A GIANT MOTORBIKE is landing. On the motorbike is RUBEUS HAGRID, an extremely large man in his early 50s. He gets off, carrying a bundle of blankets.

ALBUS DUMBLEDORE
Hagrid. At last. And where did you get that motorbike?

RUBEUS HAGRID
Borrowed it, Professor Dumbledore, sir. Young Sirius Black lent it me. I got him sir.

Hagrid looks down at the blankets. A 1-year-old HARRY POTTER is sleeping inside them. Dumbledore addresses Hagrid.

ALBUS DUMBLEDORE
No problems, were there?

RUBEUS HAGRID
No, sir – house was almost destroyed, but I got him out all right before the Muggles started swarmin’ around. He fell asleep as we was flyin’ over Bristol.

Dumbledore and McGonagall observe the baby. It has BLACK HAIR and GREEN EYES. On its forehead is a CUT, SHAPED LIKE LIGHTNING.

MINERVA MCGONAGALL
Is that where…?

ALBUS DUMBLEDORE
Yes. He’ll have that scar forever.

MINERVA MCGONAGALL
Couldn’t you do something about it, Dumbledore?

ALBUS DUMBLEDORE
Even if I could, I wouldn’t. Scars can come in handy. I have one myself above my left knee that is a perfect map of the London Underground. Well – give him here, Hagrid – we’d better get this over with.

Harry is passed from Hagrid to Dumbledore. The three of them turn to face number 4, sadness over all their faces.

RUBEUS HAGRID
Could I – could I say good-bye to him, sir?

Hagrid bends down and gives baby Harry a kiss, then lets out a saddened howl.

MINERVA MCGONAGALL
Shhh! You’ll wake the Muggles!

RUBEUS HAGRID
S-s-sorry

Hagrid takes out a LARGE SPOTTED HANKERCHIEF and wipes away his tears.

RUBEUS HAGRID
But I c-c-can’t stand it – Lily an’ James dead – an’ poor little Harry off ter live with Muggles…

MINERVA MCGONAGALL
Yes, yes, it’s all very sad, but get a grip on yourself, Hagrid, or we’ll be found.

McGonagall pats Hagrid on the arm. Dumbledore makes his way to the FRONT DOOR of number 4 and lays Harry on the DOORMAT. Dumbledore then takes out a LETTER and tucks it in Harry’s blankets. Dumbledore walks back and the three of them stand silently for a while, staring at baby Harry.

ALBUS DUMBLEDORE
Well, that’s that. We’ve no business staying here. We may as well go and join the celebrations.

RUBEUS HAGRID
Yeah, I best get this bike away. G’night, Professor McGonagall – Professor Dumbledore, sir.

Still moping up his tears, Hagrid gets back on the bike and departs.

ALBUS DUMBLEDORE
I shall see you soon, I expect, Professor McGonagall.

McGonagall blows her nose in a way of reply. Dumbledore walks back out to road. He pulls out the Deluminator and clicks it once, all the street lights come back to life. He looks back at NUMBER FOUR,PRIVET DRIVE where a tabby cat can now be seen, slowly departing.

ALBUS DUMBLEDORE
Good luck, Harry

Baby Harry turns in his sleep, clutching Dumbledore’s letter
  



I need help

CrazyMuggle September 30th, 2007 5:55 am

Re: Fan Scripts: Harry Potter Remakes
 
I think this is when people realize what Steve Kloves and Michael Goldenberg had to go through. It's no easy task translating a book into a film but you're doing pretty good, ArryGrotter. You just need some more editing.

Paper_Shoes September 30th, 2007 8:09 am

Re: Fan Scripts: Harry Potter Remakes
 
I wrote this a couple weeks ago. I worked on it for about an hour and couldn't believe that it took so long just to write like a minute and half of a movie, so I gave up. I don't like it nearly as much now as much as I did when writing, but I thought I'd post it anyway, since it took so long. It might be a little violent, by the way.

Quote:

EXT. GODRIC'S HOLLOW - NIGHT

A large house stands on a small hill, all windows dark, except for
one upstairs bedroom dimly lit by candle. A handsome man appears from
nowhere on the street below. Dramatically, he throws his arms into the air.
The house is now on fire.


INT. HOUSE - MOMENTS LATER

A man and woman in bed. The man sleeping, the woman leaning up and shaking
him.

LILY
James, wake up. He's found us.

EXT. GODRIC'S HOLLOW

The man walks the path up to the house.

INT. HOUSE - MOMENTS LATER

Lily and James draw their wands as they leave their bedroom and come into
a hallway burning with tall flames.

JAMES
Get the baby. Both of you get out of here.

LILY
James...

JAMES
Protect Harry.

INT. HOUSE - MOMENTS LATER

James comes down the last few steps of the staircase and enters the living
room. He can barely be seen through the smoke and the flames. The front
door blows open. Voldemort walks in. James raises his wand.

JAMES
Expelliarmus!

Voldemort seems to swat the spell away with his hand. James drops his wand
and clutches his arm, letting out a scream of pain. Voldemort lifts his
wand and raises James into the air. He pins him against a wall. Fire burns
below James' feet. He kicks his legs violently, trying to break loose.
Flames begin to grow underneath him. He panics. Shakes harder. The fire is
nearing his toes. Any second...

VOLDEMORT
Avada Kedavra!

James falls lifeless into the flames. His body rolls towards Voldemort. His
outstreched arm falls onto Voldemort's foot. Voldemort casually kicks the arm
away, and steps over James' body. He walks directly through the fire unharmed
as he makes his way upstairs.



ArryGrotter September 30th, 2007 8:50 am

Re: Fan Scripts: Harry Potter Remakes
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by Paper_Shoes (Post 4795430)
I wrote this a couple weeks ago. I worked on it for about an hour and couldn't believe that it took so long just to write like a minute and half of a movie, so I gave up. I don't like it nearly as much now as much as I did when writing, but I thought I'd post it anyway, since it took so long. It might be a little violent, by the way.

I haven't read it properly yet, but is it non-canon? I mean to say is it not based on the DH's flashback (the house was never on fire, for one)

Paper_Shoes September 30th, 2007 3:58 pm

Re: Fan Scripts: Harry Potter Remakes
 
It is non-canon. I just think the fire would be visually striking. I don't really remember what happened in the book. I probably contradicted something important, didn't I?

LinnendeBlack September 30th, 2007 4:12 pm

Re: Fan Scripts: Harry Potter Remakes
 
I really like your script, keep up the good work!

I also think it is an excellent idea for fans to write their own versions of a movie script.

When I get time I'm going to script PoA, because I think that film definitely needs remaking!

Phrozenone September 30th, 2007 8:20 pm

Re: Fan Scripts: Harry Potter Remakes
 
Okay so I was asked to contribute to this thread. I have a script that I've done for HBP (Three versions actually and I need to do a forth) I'm just going to warn you guys...this was done BEFORE DH was released and I cut out some things that ends up being important later lol. See how bad I am at figuring things out lol. Regardless I wrote this 3rd draft at the beginning of this year and when I rewrite it ALOT of things are going to change, but for now I thought it'll be fun to show where my mind was, what I thought was important or not and I would love to hear you guys opinion. So here is the beginning of my 'Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince' screenplay. Notice that there is NO Spinners End so don't kill me cause in 2 out of the 3 versions I have it's there :)

Fade In:

EXT. SHACK IN THE HILLS-NIGHT

The Camera pans in towards a dark shack atop a mountain. Rain falls violently as a flash of lightening come across the screen. The camera cranes towards a window and we see the shadow of a man moving around quickly.

INT. SHACK-NIGHT

The camera pans through the window and we see the back of the man who closes his briefcase quickly. He turns around and we see that it is Igor Karkaroff, the head of Durmstrang. He looks down and there is a shot of the DARK MARK on his arm that he covers up quickly. He runs quickly to grab his bags and there is a noise and he stops suddenly. All we hear is thunder and the rain beating outside and then BAM the door flies open. Karkaroff jumps back in horror as 3 hooded figured walk slowly into the shack.

KARKAROFF
GET OUT OF MY HOUSE!!

PERSON UNDER THE HOOD
Now Igor, do you think its wise to greet your master this way?

The person pulls back his hood and reveals himself to be LORD VOLDEMORT

KARKAROFF
My Lord, you…you have returned…

VOLDEMORT
Don’t act as if you didn’t know Igor, the signs have been strong since my return two years ago. Yet…you never returned…

KARKAROFF
My Lord, I didn’t know..I didn’t….

VOLDEMORT
CRUCIO!!!!!

Karkaroff falls over in pain, screaming in agony.

VOLDEMORT
Surely you knew this day would come Igor. Do you honestly think you could avoid me forever?

(He looks down to Karkaroff whimpering on the floor)

Pathetic, what you have become. At first I was going to send others to kill you, but I realized…who else to dispose of the traitor than me?

KARKAROFF
No…no please…

VOLDEMORT
You should’ve remained loyal to your master Karkaroff. AVADA KADAVRA!

A flash of green light shoots out of his wand and Karkaroff falls over dead. Voldemort walks over and pushes him with his foot..

VOLDEMORT
Tragic.

(He turns to the other 2 Death Eaters)

Now come my friends, there’s much to do. The mission begins soon and we must make sure that…he’s ready to do his job.

The DEATH EATERS and LORD VOLDEMORT exit the shack and Voldemort stops and looks up. He points his wand up at the sky.

VOLDEMORT
MORSMORDRE!

A flash shoots from the wand and BOOM the DARK MARK appears over the shot. There is a flash and the scene cuts to…

INT. HARRY’S ROOM/HALLWAY-NIGHT

The scene cuts to a shot of a window. The camera pans around the room onto a newspaper where we see the heading Harry Potter: The Chosen One? It then zooms to the newspaper clipping next to it that has Scrimgeour Succeeds Fudge as the heading. The camera then pans over past Hedwig in her cage to the bed where we see Harry laying down looking at the ceiling. We hear the doorbell ring from downstairs and we see Harry jump up with excitement, grab his glasses, and rushes out the door. The scene cuts to Uncle Vernon rushing angrily towards the door with a shotgun.)

UNCLE VERNON
Who the blazes is calling at this time of night!

He opens the door quickly with the gun drawn and we see Dumbledore standing there. We then see Harry run down the stairs and stop at the foot of them staring at Uncle Vernon and Dumbeldore.

DUMBLEDORE
You must be Mr. Dursley. Judging by your look of stunned disbelief, and your gun in my face, (he glances up at Harry) Harry did not warn you that I was coming. However let us assume that you have lowered your gun and invited me warmly into your home. It is unwise to linger overlong on doorsteps in these troubled times.

Uncle Vernon lowers his gun and we see Harry laugh as Dumbledore walks into their house and Harry continues to walk down the stairs.

DUMBLEDORE
Ah, good evening Harry…

Both Petunia and Dudley walk out of the kitchen into the hallway

UNCLE VERNON
I don’t mean to be rude….

DUMBLEDORE
Yet, sadly, accidental rudeness occurs alarmingly often. Best to say nothing at all, my dear man. Ah, and this must be Petunia and this must be your son, Dudley?

Vernon, Petunia, and Dudley all look at each other nervously and then back at Dumbledore without saying anything.

HARRY
Should I go and get my things first sir…

DUMBLEDORE
In a moment Harry, there are a few matters that must be discussed first. I would prefer not to do so in the open so we shall trespass upon your aunt and uncle’s hospitality a little longer.

UNCLE VERNON
You will, will you?

DUMBLEDORE
Yes, I shall. Now lets assume you have invited me into your sitting room.

Dumbledore smiles at them and walks into the living room followed by Harry. The Dursleys look at each other and then follow slowly.

INT. DURSLEY’S LIVING ROOM-NIGHT

DUMBLEDORE
Hope you don’t mind, but we may as well be comfortable.

Dumbledore pulls out his wand and flicks it. The sofa zooms forward and knocks the knees from under the Dursleys and they collasp on the couch. The sofa then zooms back to where it was originally. We see a shot of Dumbledore’s hand, which has blackened.

HARRY
What happened to your…?

DUMBLEDORE
Later Harry. Have a seat please. I would assume that you were going to offer me refreshments.

Dumbledore flicks his wand again and 5 glasses filled with a drink appear. The glasses float to everyone in the room. Vernon and Petunia cast each other a nervous look as Dumbledore and Harry grab there glasses and toast each other. The Dursleys ignore the glasses and the glasses just nudge them on the side of their heads.

DUMBLEDORE
Now Harry, The Order of the Phoenix has run into a difficult situation. Sirius’s will was discovered and it seems that he left you everything he owned.

UNCLE VERNON
His godfather’s dead?

DUMBLEDORE
Yes…now…One problem is that Sirius also left you number twelve, Grimmauld Place.

UNCLE VERNON
He’s been left a house? How…how…

HARRY
(ignoring Vernon)
You can keep using it as headquarters. You can have it… I don’t really want it.

DUMBLEDORE
That is generous. We have, however, vacated the building temporarily.

HARRY
Why?

DUMBLEDORE
Sirius was the very last of the line as his younger brother, Regulus, predeacesed him and both were childless. It is possible that some spell or enchantment has been set to ensure it cannot be owned by anyone other than a pureblood. If this is so, it is passed down to the eldest of Sirius’s living relatives, his cousin Bellatrix Lestrange.

HARRY
(Harry jumps up suddenley)
Bellatrix Lestrange! Sirius’s killer, inherit the house? No! How can we find out if I’m allowed to own it?

DUMBLEDORE
There is a simple test…

UNCLE VERNON
WILL YOU GET THESE RUDDY THINGS OFF US!!!

The camera shows the three Dursleys waving their hands above their heads trying to keep the glasses away as the glasses continue nudging them.

DUMBLEDORE
Oh, I’m so sorry.
(He raises and flicks his wand and the glasses disappear.)
It would have been better manners to drink it, you know. Now you see Harry, if you have indeed inherited the house, you also inherited..

He flicks his wands and Kreacher appears in the middle of the room. Aunt Petunia lets out a loud scream; Dudley jumps up on the couch.

UNCLE VERNON
What the hell is that!?!?

DUMBLEDORE
Kreacher.

KREACHER
KREACHER WON’T! KREACHER WON’T! KREACHER WON’T GO TO THE POTTER BRAT! KREACHER BELONGS TO MISS BELLATRIX!

DUMBLEDORE
As you can see Harry, Kreacher is showing a certain (He looks at Kreacher and he covers his ears and starts to run around the room yelling ‘Don’t’ as the Dursleys scream as well.) reluctance to pass into your ownership.

HARRY
I don’t care...I don’t want him.

DUMBLEDORE
You would prefer him to pass into the ownership of Bellatrix Lestrange? Bear in mind that he has lived at the headquarters of the Order of the Phoenix for the past year.

KREACHER
WON’T WON’T WON’T!!!!!!

HARRY
Kreacher, shut up!

Kreacher grabs his throat and throws himself to the floor.

DUMBLEDORE
Well that simplifies matters. It seems that Sirius knew what he was doing. You are the rightful owner of number twelve Grimmauld Place and of Kreacher.

The camera shows Kreacher thrashing around on the floor in silence.

HARRY
Do I have to keep him?

DUMBLEDORE
Not if you don’t want too, you could send him to Hogwarts to work in the kitchen with the other house elves that work there. That way the other house elves could keep an eye on him.

HARRY
Good, Kreacher I want you to go to Hogwarts and work in the kitchens there with the other house elves.

Kreacher stands up, frowns, and vanishes.

DUMBLEDORE
Good. (He turns to the Dursleys) Now one last thing… As you will no doubt be aware, Harry comes of age in a year’s time…

AUNT PETUNIA
No, he doesn’t. He’s a month younger than Dudley, and Dudders doesn’t turn eighteen until the year after next.

DUMBLEDORE
Yes, but in the Wizarding world, we come of age at seventeen.

UNCLE VERNON
Now that’s a load of….

DUMBLEDORE
(Dumbledore raises his finger up for silence and Vernon obliges.)
Now, as you already know, the wizard called Lord Voldemort has returned to this country. With a letter I explained about his parents murder and expressing the hope that you would care for him as though he was your own. You did not do as I asked. The best that can be said is that he has at least escaped the appalling damage you have infliced upon your son…

AUNT PETUNIA
What do you mean damage?

UNCLE VERNON
Us…mistreat Dudders? What d’you…

DUMBLEDORE
Silence please! The magic I evoked fifteen years ago means that Harry has powerful protection while he can still call this house ‘home.’ This magic will cease to operate the moment that Harry turns seventeen. I ask only this, that you allow Harry to return, once more, to this house, before his seventeenth birthday, which will ensure that the protection continues until that time.

Vernon looks as though he wants to say something in protest.

DUMBLEDORE
Now, Harry get your things and Petunia if you don’t mind I’d love to look at one of your muggle magazines, I do love knitting patterns.

He looks at Petunia and she looks at him and the scene fades to…

I'll keep it going until Diagon Alley, then I'm taking a break lol

EXT. PRIVET DRIVE-NIGHT

Harry and Dumbledore are walking down the street.

DUMBLEDORE
You have not, of course, passed your Apparition Test.

HARRY
No sir, I thought you had to be seventeen?

DUMBLEDORE
You do, so you will need to hold on to my arm very tightly. (Harry grabs Dumbledore’s arm) Very good, well here we go.

They disapper off of Privet Drive and we see them fly off as if they’re in a fast tunnel made of light.. A look of horror fills Harrys face as everything went black as they were shifting from left to right. They then land and Harry see’s that they are standing in a yard. The camera pans back slowly to show them standing in front of “THE BURROW” the Weasleys’ home.

EXT. THE BURROW- NIGHT

They begin to walk towards the house.

DUMBLEDORE
Now Harry you have not asked me, what my favorite flavor of jam is. How do you know I’m not an imposter?

HARRY
Oh...I…um…Sherbert Lemon?

DUMBLEDORE
(Chuckles)
Good guess, but it was raspberry. Also I am pleased and a little proud at how well you seem to be coping after everything that happened at the Ministry. It was cruel that you and Sirius had such a short time together.

HARRY
It’s just hard you know? To realize he won’t be there, But while I was at the Dursley’s, I realized I can’t shut msyelf away or crack up; Sirius wouldn’t have wanted that would he? People are dying; it could be me next, couldn’t it? And if it is, I’ll make sure I take as many Death Eaters with me as I can, and Voldemort too if I can manage it.

DUMBLEDORE
Spoken both like your mother and father’ son and Sirius’s true godson!

HARRY
(Noticing Dumbledore’s blackened hand once again)
Professor…what happened to you…

DUMBLEDORE
There’s no time to explain it now, it is a thrilling tale, I wish to do it justice. Now on to another subject.
(He stops walking and grabs Harry’s shoulder)
Firstly, I wish you to keep your Invisibility Cloak with you at all times from this moment forward, do you understand?

HARRY
Yes sir…

DUMBLEDORE
And…It is my wish that you take private lessons with me this year.

HARRY
Private…! With you? Really?

DUMBLEDORE
Yes, I think it is time that I took a great hand in your education.

HARRY
What will you be teaching me, sir?

DUMBLEDORE
(airily)
Oh, a little of this, a little of that.

HARRY
(laughs)
Does that mean I don’t have to take Occlumency lessons with Snape?

DUMBLEDORE
Professor Snape, Harry, and no you will not!

HARRY
Good, because they were a load of….

DUMBLEDORE
(He holds up his finger)
I think the word ‘fiasco’ would be a good one here.

Dumbledore and Harry laughs and

INT. THE BURROW-RON’S BEDROOM-EARLY MORNING

The scene fades to a shot of Harry sleeping. He stirs a bit and sits up and look across the room at Ron sleeping. As Harry yawns we hear

MRS. WEASLEY
BREAKFAST IS READY!!!!!

Ron stirs and Harry steps out of bed.

HARRY
Ron, hey Ron wake up
(Ron mumbles sleepily under his breath. Harry looks away smiles and turns around suddenly and screams)
SPIDERS!!!!

Ron jumps around frantically in panic and Harry falls on his bed in laughter.

RON
THAT WASN’T FUNNY ‘ARRY!!

Harry continues to laugh as the scene cuts to

INT. THE BURROW-KITCHEN-MOMENTS LATER

Mrs. Weasley and Hermione cutting vegatbles together as Harry and Ron walk slowly down the stairs.

MRS. WEASLEY
(Turning around)
Good morning Harry dear, it’s great to see you.

HARRY
You too Mrs. Weasley

HERMIONE
Harry!
(She runs up to him and hugs him)

HARRY
Hey Hermione

RON
(sitting down at the table.)
Has dad made it home yet?

MRS. WEASLEY
No, he’s a tiny bit late

(She takes a look up at the family clock where all faces are pointing towards “Mortal Peril” now.)

RON
It’s been like that for a while, ever since You-Know-Who’ came back into the open.

BILL WEASLEY and GINNY both sleepily walks in as he says this and goes to the sink

BILL
Well, this must be Harry Potter!

MRS. WEASLEY
Ah Harry yes, dear this is my other son Bill

HARRY
Nice to finally meet you!

GINNY
Hiya Harry

HARRY
(Smiles)
Ginny…hey…

MRS. WEASLEY
Good Ginny dear could you help me with the vegetables please…?

BILL
So was the trip here okay….?

HARRY
Yeah I was with Dumbledore.

BILL
Good man Dumbledore…

HARRY
Yeah…so where are Fred and George?

RON
They’re raking in the Galleons! They have a new shop in Diagon Alley, we should be going there later…

MRS. WEASLEY
I must say I didn’t approve of it at first, but they do seem to have a flair for business. Oh!

(Mr. Weasley’s hand on the clock moves from ‘Mortal Peril’ to traveling)

Your fathers on his way kids!

Mrs. Weasley waves her hand and the bread she was cutting flies on all the plates on the table.

BILL
So am I right in saying you’re going to make it to the wedding Harry?

HARRY
Wedding?

RON
I forgot to tell you, Bill here is getting married. Remember Fluer?

HARRY
Delacour? I competed in the Tri Wizard tournament with her? Nice!

All the guys laugh and nod in approval and the three women at the counter all turn around towards them, make a noise of disgust, and turn back around.

HARRY
So how is that?

BILL
Oh it’s really good.

GINNY
Yeah it seems my dear brother has ended up with a nice cow for the family.

RON
Ginny and Mum don’t like that much, they think they’ve rushed the whole thing.

(He looks at Hermione who has just sitten down and starts reading the Daily Prophet)

So anyone we know dead?

MRS. WEASLEY
RONALD WEASLEY!!!!

RON
What!?!

HERMIONE
There have been another couple of dementor attacks and…oh no!

(The camera pans over her shoulder to show the Shack from the beginning of the film with the Dark Mark hanging over it)

They’ve found Igor Karkoroff’s body in a shack up north with the Dark Mark set over it!

HARRY
The head of Durmstrang?

MRS. WEASLEY
The very same, I’m surprised he stayed alive for even a year after deserting the Death Eaters.

GINNY
There’ve been a lot of dissappearences too Harry.

RON

Yeah like Ollivander the wandmaker

(There is a knock on the door and everyone looks at it in silence.)

MRS. WEASLEY
Arthur, is that you?

MR. WEASLEY
(from outside the door)
Yes, but I would say that even if I were a Death Eater. Ask the question!

MRS. WEASLEY
Oh, honestly Arthur.
(Sighs)
What is your dearest ambition?

MR. WEASLEY
To find out how airplanes stay up and now Molly, what do you like me to call you when we’re alone together?

MRS. WEASLEY
(She looks over her shoulders and see’s the kids looking at her. She gives a nervous chuckle and with a frantic whisper she says..)
Mollywobbles.

MR. WEASLEY
Correct, now you can let me in.

(The door opens and Mr. Weasley walks in and kisses his wife and sits down his briefcase.)

MR. WEASLEY
Harry, I didn’t know you were here already. Everything alright?

HARRY
Yes sir

MR. WEASLEY
Well I ran into a few owls on the way and I have a nice little treat for you lot.
(He pulls out of his pocket a stack of mail.)
O.W.L. results are in!

HERMIONE
(She jumps up in excitement)
Are they here already! Feels like I’ve been waiting ages!

Hermione, Ron, and Harry all take there letters from Mr. Weasley and proceeds to open them on the spot.

HARRY
I only failed Divination and History of Magic, and who cares about them?

RON
(Taking a look at Harry’s)
I knew you’d be top at Defense Against the Dark Arts. We’ve done all right, haven’t we? We’re N.E.W.T. students now!

MRS WEASLEY
Well done!

HARRY
And look at this…we don’t have to take Potions anymore. No more Snape…this day is great already!

GINNY
Hermione? How did you do?

HERMIONE
Oh, I….not bad.

RON
Like you had anything to worry about in the first place.

HERMIONE
(She gives Ron a stern look and notices something hanging out of Harry’s envelope)
Well look at this.
(She takes it out and stares at it.)
Seems as if Harry is Quidditch captain this year!

RON
Wow! Congrats Harry! …

HARRY
Thanks…

GINNY
Now all you have to do is break it to Ron early that he doesn’t have a chance on the team…

RON
Funny…

MRS. WEASLEY
Don’t’ forget that we are traveling to Diagon Alley later…

MR. WEASLEY
Don’t expect it to be the same Harry, its nearly completely empty now. The scare of You-Know-Who’s return has changed a lot of things. Now can I have a few more sausages dear..?

The camera zooms in on Harry looking at everyone eat and give a slight smile as the scene fades to

ArryGrotter September 30th, 2007 10:00 pm

Re: Fan Scripts: Harry Potter Remakes
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by Phrozenone (Post 4795871)
Okay so I was asked to contribute to this thread. I have a script that I've done for HBP (Three versions actually and I need to do a forth) I'm just going to warn you guys...this was done BEFORE DH was released and I cut out some things that ends up being important later lol. See how bad I am at figuring things out lol. Regardless I wrote this 3rd draft at the beginning of this year and when I rewrite it ALOT of things are going to change, but for now I thought it'll be fun to show where my mind was, what I thought was important or not and I would love to hear you guys opinion. So here is the beginning of my 'Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince' screenplay. Notice that there is NO Spinners End so don't kill me cause in 2 out of the 3 versions I have it's there :)

Great to see it.

And what is/was missing (except Spinners End) it seemed fine to me (except Spinners End)

Phrozenone September 30th, 2007 10:34 pm

Re: Fan Scripts: Harry Potter Remakes
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by ArryGrotter (Post 4795999)
Great to see it.

And what is/was missing (except Spinners End) it seemed fine to me (except Spinners End)

Thanks :)

What I'll try to do is find my drafts with my take on Spinner's End. If I remember correctly I was trying to be as vague as possible especially on Snape's behalf, but I'll make sure to post that as soon as I can find it. The reason why I took it out was because I thought, at the time, it gave to much away. After that chapter I knew Snape was up to something and I wanted the ending to come to a surprise in my Screenplay so I just got rid of it. Well here's Diagon Alley to Hogwarts :) Afterwards I'll explain why I did what I did aswell lol

EXT. DIAGON ALLEY-LATER THAT DAY

Mr. Weasley, Mrs. Weasley, Harry, Ron, Hermione, Ginny walking down the streets of Diagon Alley. It doesn’t look the same however. It was empty, only a few familys where around. You see Ministry of Magic posters all around and black and white photos of Bellatrix Lestrange sneering on them. A lot of the familiar shops were boarded up and a few people were saleing things on the side of the streets. Then the scene fades too…

INT. MADAM MALKIN- SAME DAY

Harry, Ron, and Hermione walk into the shop and pause when they see Draco standing there in a mirror with Madam Milken knelt down threading Draco’s robs.

DRACO
I’m not a child, in case you haven’t noticed, Mother. I am perfectly capable of shopping alone! And watch where you’re sticking that pin, will you!

He looks in the mirror again and notices the trio standing in the doorway and smirks.

DRACO
If you’re wondering what the smell is, Mother, a Mudblood just walked in.

MADAM MALKIN
I don’t think there’s any need for language like that!
(She looks back and sees Harry and Ron both have their wands drawn)
And I don’t want wands drawn in my shop either!

HERMIONE
(Grabs both there arms)
No, don’t, it’s not worth it.

NARCISSA MALFOY walks from around the corner

NARCISSA
Put those away. If you attack my son I shall ensure that it is the last thing you ever do.

HARRY
Really? Going to get a few Death Eater pals to do us in, are you?

NARCISSA
I see that being Dumbledore’s favorite has given you a false sense of security, Harry Potter. But Dumbledore won’t always be there to protect you.

HARRY
(He looks around the shop)
That’s funny…look at that…he’s not here now! So why not have a go? They might be able to find you a double cell in Azkaban with your loser of a husband!

DRACO
(He turns around suddenly)
Don’t you dare talk to my mother like that, Potter!

NARCISSA
It’s alright Draco. I expect Potter will be reunited with Sirius before I am reunited with Lucius.
(Harry points his wand towards her face)

DRACO
Mother…I don’t think I want these robes anymore

NARCISSA
You’re right, Draco. Now I know the kind of scum that shops here…we’ll do better at Twilfitt and Tatting’s.

MADAM MALIKIN
Well, really!

Narcissa grabs Draco by the arm as he throws the robes in Madam Malkins face and they exit. Hermione, Ron, and Harry all look at each other as the scene cuts to the Weasleys, Hermione, and Harry walking down the streets of Diagon Ally.

The camera goes past them to a shop which, compared to the one’s around it, was light and lively. In the window of the shop was a large sign that read “Why Are You Worrying About You-Know-Who? You Should Be Worrying About U-No-Poo- The Constipation Sensation That’s Gripping The Nation!” The camera pans back to them standing in front of the window as Mrs. Weasley grabs her chest.

MRS. WEASLEY
They’ll be murdered in their sleep!

They all walk into the shop and we see an assortment of gadgets and boxes. There are boxes labeled Skiving Snackboxes and Nosebleed Nougat. There are boxes of wans, quills which came in Self Inking and Smart Answer varieties. The camera s then pans to the front of the store where Fred and George are standing

FRED
Welcome

FRED AND GEORGE
To Weasley’s Wizard Wheezes!!

They both walk up and hug their mom and dad. Fred punches Ron on the arm as he walks past him.

HARRY
Nice place guys.

GINNY
(She looks at love potions)
Do these things work?

GEORGE
Certainly they work, for up to twenty-four hours at a time depending on the weight of the boy in question, and the attractiveness of the girl. But we’re not selling them to our sister, not when she’s already got about five boys on the go from what we’ve heard…

GINNY
(Irritably)
Whatever you’ve heard from Ron is a big fat lie.

FRED
Are you or are you not currently going out with a boy called Dean Thomas?

GINNY
Yes I am, what are those?

GEORGE
Pygmy Puffs, Miniature puffskeins, we can’t breed them fast enough. So what about Micheal Corner?

GINNY
I dumped him, he was a bad loser. They’re really cute!

FRED
They’re fairly cuddly, yes. But you’re moving through boyfriends a bit fast, aren’t you?

GINNY
It’s none of your business. And I’ll thank you
(She turns to look at Ron who just turned around the corner)
not to tell tales about me to these two!

RON
WHAT!

As they argue Harry looks out of the window and sees Draco Malfoy hurrying up the street alone. He looks over his shoulders and hurry’s out of view. Harry leans over to Hermione who is holding one of the Pygmy Puffs.

HARRY
Wonder where his mommy is?

EXT. KNOCKTURN ALLEY-MINUTES LATER

The scene cuts to Harry, Ron, and Hermione walking down the street in Harry’s invisibilty cloak. We see Draco take a turn down Knockturn Alley and the trio follows. They pause as Draco walkes in Borgin and Burkes. They walk up closley next to the door. They look in and see Malfoy talking to Mr. Borgin

HERMIONE
If only we could hear what they’re saying!

RON
We can. Hang out.
(He starts searching his pockets.)
Where are those damn things…oh here they are…Extendable Ears.

They put one part of the string in their ears and the camera follows the other ends of the string under the floor and across the floor of the shop and stop close to Malfoy and Borgin.

INT. BORGIN AND BURKES-MINUTES LATER

DRACO
You know how to fix it?

BORGIN
Possibly, I’ll need to see it, though. Why don’t you bring it into the shop?

MALFOY
I can’t. It’s got to stay put. I just need you to tell me how to do it.

BORGIN
Well without seeing it, I must say it will be a very difficult job, perhaps impossible. I couldn’t guarentee anything.

DRACO
No? Perhaps this will make you more confident.
(The camera cuts to Harry with a look of suspicion on his face so we never see what Draco gives him and then cuts back to Draco.)
Tell anyone and there will be retribution. You know Fenrir Greyback? He’s a family friend. He’ll be dropping in from time to time to make sure you’re giving the problem your full attention

BORGIN
There will be no need for…

DRACO
I’ll decide that. Not a word to anyone, Borgin, and that includes my mother, understand?

BORGIN
Naturally, naturally
(He bows and Draco turns around wand walks out of the shop right past them in the Invisibility Cloak)

EXT. DIAGON ALLEY-A FEW MINUTES LATER

The scene cuts to them walking out of Knockturn Alley and slowly back to Fred and George’s shop without the cloak.

HERMIONE
Yes, it was fishy Harry, but there could be a lot of explanations for what Malfoy was talking about.

HARRY
I know it’s just, Malfoy’s fathers in Azkaban. Don’t you think he’d like revenge?

RON
Revenge? What can he do about it?

HARRY
I don’t know! But he’s up to something and I think we should take it seriously. His fathers a Death Eater and….(His stops walking as his eyes widen and Hermione looks at him with a worried look)

HERMIONE
Harry? What’s wrong?

HARRY
He’s a Death Eater. He’s replaced his father as a Death Eater!

RON
(Laughing)
Malfoy? A Death Eater? Harry come on now!

HARRY
You guys don’t have to believe me, but I know somethings up with Malfoy and I’m going to find out what.

There is a sound of a train and

EXT. HOGWARTS EXPRESS-NOON

The scene cuts to a shot of the Hogwarts Express going down the track. The camera goes up and

INT. HOGWARTS EXPRESS- NOON

Through the window into the compartment where Harry, Neville, and Luna are sitting.

LUNA
Are we still doing D.A. meetings this year, Harry?

HARRY
No point Luna, we’ve gotten rid of Umbridge.

NEVILLE
I liked the D.A. I learned loads from you!

LUNA
I enjoyed the meetings too. It was like having friends.

A group of girls open the compartment giggling and one steps inside towards Harry

ROMILDA
Hey Harry, I’m Romilda Vance. Why don’t you join us in our compartment? You don’t have to sit with them!

HARRY
Oh I don’t do I? Well they’re friends of mine!

ROMILDA
Why?
(She and her friends laugh)

NEVILLE
It’s ok Harry, you can go…

HARRY
No, these are my friends and I think you should go

ROMILDA
(Surprised)
Are you serious?
(Dissapointently)
Well…Oh, Oh Ok then
(She rushed out and closes the door)

LUNA
People expect you to have cooler friends than us.

HARRY
You are cool, none of them were at the Minsitry. They didn’t fight with me.

Luna and Neville both smile at Harry and he looks out of the window with a look of deep thought on his face.

NEVILLE
Are you alright Harry?

HARRY
Yeah, I’m fine…

LUNA
I don’t think so…maybe a Wrackspurt got you?

HARRY
I may regret asking this, but a what?

LUNA
Wrackspurt…they’re invisible. They float in through your ears and make your brain go fuzzy. I thought I felt one zooming around in here.

Luna starts flapping her hands around in mid air. Neville and Harry look at each other as if they’re trying to hold back a laugh and the compartment door opens and a young third year is standing there with an envelope.)

STUDENT
I’m supposed to deliver these to Neville Longbottom and Harry Potter.
(The students hands it to them and exits.)

NEVILLE
What is it?

HARRY
I dunno
(He opens up the letter and begins to read.)
Harry, I would be delighted if you would join me for a bite of lunch in compartment C. Sincerely, Professor H. E. F. Slughorn.

NEVILLE
Who’s Professor Slughorn?

INT. HOGWARTS EXPRESS-SLUGHORNS COMPARTMENT-MOMENTS LATER

The scene cuts to Harry, Neville, Blaise Zabini, Ginny, Cormic MacLaggen and three other students sitting in the compartment. A large shiny head bald man with a silver mustache is also there with a great smile on his face.

SLUGHORN
Well now, this is most pleasant. Welcome you lot, I am Professor Slughorn, I’ve been asked to take up post in a missing spot at Hogwarts! I just called this meeting to get to know you all a little better. Can’t have to many connections eh?
(chuckles)

Harry, Neville, and Ginny all look at each other.

SLUGHORN
Ah Cormac McLaggen, I happen to know your Uncle Tiberius very well.

CORMAC
Do you sir?

SLUGHORN
Oh yes yes, splendid wizard he is. I’m sure no doubt you possess many of his varied talents yourself eh?

CORMAC
Well I must say I….

SLUGHORN
(looks off a notices Harry’s scar)
And you must be Harry Potter
(He grabs his hand and shakes it)
Pleasure it is

HARRY
Pleasure sir.

SLUGHORN
Where to begin with you Harry Potter? They’re calling you ‘The Chosen One’ now boy! Of course there have been rumors for years, I remember when…well after that terrible night…Lily...James…and you surivived and the word was that you must have powers beyond the ordinary…

Zabini gives a little cough and the other Slytherians in the room laugh.

GINNY
Yeah, Zabini, because you’re soooo talented…at posing…

SLUGHORN
Oh dear! You want to careful, Blaise! Saw this young lady perform the most marvelous Bat Bogy Hex as I was passing her carriage! I wouldn’t cross her.
(Chuckles)
Now Harry Harry, you look so much like your father. Except for your eyes, you’ve got…

HARRY
My mother’s eyes, yeah…I’ve heard.

SLUGHORN
Yes well….I taught your parents; yes Lily Evans was an excellent student. One of the brightest I ever taught, charming. I used to tell her that she ought to be in my House!

ZABINI
And what house is that sir?

SLUGHORN
Why Slytherian of course!

Zabini and the other slytherians in the room smile and Ginny rolls her eyes.

SLUGHORN
Your mother was muggle born of course, couldn’t believe it when I found out. Thought she must have been pure-blood, she was so good.

HARRY
One of my best friends is Muggle born and she’s the best in our year!

SLUGHORN
(Chuckles)
Yes, funny how that sometimes happens isn’t it?

HARRY
(coldly)
Not really…

SLUGHORN
You mustn’t think I’m prejudice! Your mother was one of my all time favorite students you know.

HARRY
I bet…

SLUGHORN
Heh, well…now on to you Zabini..how is your dear mother these days….

INT-HOGWARTS EXPRESS-HALLWAY-NIGHT

As Slughorn continues to talk Harry looks out of the window and the scene cuts to all the students exiting Slughorns cabin. Neville, Ginny, and Harry turn and walk down the aisle’s together

NEVILLE
I’m glad that’s over, strange man isn’t he?

GINNY
So what class d’you suppose he’s teaching?

HARRY
Probably Defense…
(Zabini bumps into Harry as he walks past towards the Slytherian compartment)
And what is he playing at anyways. He only invited people because of who they were connected to or who they know….except for you Ginny what did you…?

GINNY
Oh he saw me hex Zacharias Smith, he thought it was really good and invited me to lunch.

HARRY

Well better reason for inviting someone than because their mother’s famous or because their uncle….
(He pauses and continues to watch Zabini walk up the hall)
I’ll see you two later

NEVILLE
But what’re you…

(Harry pulls out his invisibility cloack and looks around to see if anyone’s looking and throws it over himself. He runs up behinds Zabini who opens the compartment and

INT. HOGWARTS EXPRESS- SLYTHERIAN COMPARTMENT-NOON

They open their compartment and he slides in before they close it. Inside the room is Zabini, Goyle, Crabbe, Malfoy, and Pansy Parkinson. Before Zabini can sit down Harry jumps on his seat and jumps up into the luggage compartment and his foot comes from under the cloack for a quick second and he lies down.

ZABINI
What’s going on? (sitting down)

MALFOY
What did Slughorn want?

ZABINI
Just trying to make up to well connected people, not that he managed to find many. He invited Longbottom, Potter, and that Weasley girl!

MALFOY
He invited Longbottom? What’s Longbottom got to interest Slughorn? And Potter, obviously he wanted a look at ‘the Chosen One’ but that Weasley girl! What’s so special about her!

PANSY
A lot of boys like her, even you think she’s good looking don’t you Blaise?

ZABINI
I wouldn’t touch a filthy blood traitor like her whatever she looked like.

MALFOY
Pity, father always said Slughorn was a good wizard in his day, but it seems he’s gone a bit senile. Who cares who’s he’s interested in anyways, he’s just a stupid teacher. I mean I might not even be at Hogwarts next year….

ZABINI
Really?

DRACO
Well you never know, I might have moved on to bigger and better things.

PANSY
(Gasp)
Do you mean…him?

DRACO
Mother wants me to complete my education, but personally, I don’t see it as that important these days. When the Dark Lord takes over, is he going to care how many O.W.L.s or N.E.W.T.s anyone’s got?

ZABINI
And you think you’ll be able to do something for him? Sixteen years old and not even fully qualified yet?

DRACO
I’ve just said, haven’t I? Maybe the job he wants me to do isn’t something that you need to be qualified for. (Crabbe and Goyle look at each other.) I can see Hogwarts, we’d better get our robes on.

The scene cuts to show the train slowing down to stop. Everyone is leaving the compartment one by one. Draco then pauses and turns back around. He closes the door and lets down the blinds. He then points his wand to where Harry is hidden

DRACO
Petrificus Totalus!

We see Harry eyes widen as he is frozen and falls out of the compartment on the floor without his cloak. Draco is looking down on him smiling.

DRACO
I thought so, I saw something white flash through the air after Zabini came back. You didn’t hear anything I care about, Potter. But while I’ve got you here… (He stomps on Harry’s face. Blood is streaming from Harry’s noes.) That’s from my father. Now lets see….(He grabs the invisibility cloak and throws it over Harry.) I don’t reckon they’ll find you till the trains back in London. See you around Potter…or not.

Draco walks out of the compartment and slams the door and we see Harry trapped underneath the invisibility cloak unable to move. The train starts to move under him and we see and hand reached down and pulled the cloak off of him, and the camera pans to Tonks standing there.

TONKS
Wotcher Harry.
(She points her wand at him and a flash of red light hits Harry and he’s unfrozen.)
We’d better get out of here, quickly.

The scene cuts to…

EXT. TRAIN STATION- DUSK

Harry and Tonks walking from the train station and there is a shot of Hogwarts in the distance.

TONKS
Who did it?

HARRY
Draco Malfoy, Tonks thanks for….

TONKS
No problem, I can fix your nose if you stand still.
(She points her wand at his nose)
Episkey.

HARRY
Thanks.

TONKS
We can walk up to the school. (She waves her wand in the air and a silver four legged creature erupts from the wand and streaks off towards the castle) I’m sending word to the castle that I’ve got you.

HARRY
How did you find me?

TONKS
I noticed you hadn’t left the train and I knew you had the cloak. I saw the blinds drawn on that compartment so I thought I’d check.

HARRY
But what are you doing here, anyway?

TONKS
I’m stationed at Hogsmeade with Proudfoot, Savage, and Dawlish to give the school extra protection.

The scene fades to…


Ok so WHY did I leave the Draco Compartment thing in...dunno..I liked the scene. Also as you guys will see hopefully I have a beginning, middle, and end as it pertains to Harry/Draco's fight. As you have seen Fenrir will be in and like I said before this was before DH so ALOT will change lol. Would I cut it now..probably so. Also in this draft I wasn't sure how important Lupin/Tonks was and Bill/Fluer was. In my new one I will focus more on Lupin/Tonks, but in this one they're hinted at but it's not stated that they're together. The next time I post will be Great Hall until the end of the first Potions lesson I suppose. :tu:

crookshanks15 October 1st, 2007 11:32 pm

Re: Fan Scripts: Harry Potter Remakes
 
Quote:

I need help
ArryGrotter, I do like the change you made in the begining (putting in the snippet of Trelawneys prediction) but when you got to the scene outside the Dursleys house you started to do the same thing you did before; almost exactly copying the book word for word, bit by bit.
My suggestion is to SHORTEN this scene. You really dont need to have about 10 min. worth of film for delivering Harry. I dont think you need to have McGonagall say that even the muggles are noticing, its in their news. We already had a bit of the news- the movie watchers can see that the muggles have it on their tv.
Also, the discussion of saying LV v. you-know-who isnt needed because we learn about all that stuff later with Hagrid.
Just some tips, they may not be to your liking so if thats the case, I wont be offended for your rejection and sorry I couldnt be of more help.
Overall, your changes are better. I am the same kind of fan that is ticked off with the movies for lack of canon and stuff but cuts do need to be made. The original script was almost exactly the same thing as the book.

ArryGrotter October 2nd, 2007 6:08 am

Re: Fan Scripts: Harry Potter Remakes
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by crookshanks15 (Post 4797233)
ArryGrotter, I do like the change you made in the begining (putting in the snippet of Trelawneys prediction) but when you got to the scene outside the Dursleys house you started to do the same thing you did before; almost exactly copying the book word for word, bit by bit.
My suggestion is to SHORTEN this scene. You really dont need to have about 10 min. worth of film for delivering Harry. I dont think you need to have McGonagall say that even the muggles are noticing, its in their news. We already had a bit of the news- the movie watchers can see that the muggles have it on their tv.
Also, the discussion of saying LV v. you-know-who isnt needed because we learn about all that stuff later with Hagrid.
Just some tips, they may not be to your liking so if thats the case, I wont be offended for your rejection and sorry I couldnt be of more help.
Overall, your changes are better. I am the same kind of fan that is ticked off with the movies for lack of canon and stuff but cuts do need to be made. The original script was almost exactly the same thing as the book.

Thanks for the feedback!

I took it into consideration and have done some cuts
Here's the first half of that scene (still lengthy)

The first half of the arrival scene I am cutting:    


  
PS: Night time arrival Part 1 (The Boy Who Lived)…the cat which is still sitting on the brick fence. It is STIFF and LOOKING IN ONE DIRECTION. The camera then shows that the ROAD is DESERTED. It slowly lays to rests on one of the STREET LAMPS.

POP. Pause. Then a DIFFERENT POP as the lamp EXTINGUISHES. The camera CUTS BACK to the cat, which is now MOVING ITS HEAD. The lamp nearest the brick wall extinguishes with another POP. The camera then CUTS to an elderly man standing in the once deserted street, he is putting away an OBJECT WHICH LOOKS LIKE A CIGARETTE LIGHTER (DELUMINATOR). The man, Albus Dumbledore, sits next to the cat on the fence and, after a moment’s pause, speaks to it.

ALBUS DUMBLEDORE
Fancy seeing you here, Professor McGonagall.

The camera turns to see that the cat is transforming into a woman in her late 50s, wearing a cloak.

MINERVA MCGONAGALL
How did you know it was me?

ALBUS DUMBLEDORE
My dear Professor, I’ve never seen a cat sit so stiffly.

MINERVA MCGONAGALL
You’d be stiff if you’d been sitting on a brick wall all day.

ALBUS DUMBLEDORE
All day? When you could have been celebrating?

MINERVA MCGONAGALL
(Angrily) Oh yes, everyone’s celebrating, all right. Even the Muggles have noticed something’s going on.

McGonagall points to the Dursley’s

ALBUS DUMBLEDORE
You can’t blame them. We’ve had had precious little to celebrate for eleven years.

MINERVA MCGONAGALL
I know that, but it’s no reason to lose our heads. People are being downright careless, out on the streets in broad daylight, not even dressed in Muggle clothes, swapping rumours.

McGonagall pauses and looks at Dumbledore as if she wants him to say something.

MINERVA MCGONAGALL
A fine thing it would be if, on the very day You-Know-Who seems to have disappeared at last, the Muggles found out about us all. I suppose he really has gone, Dumbledore?

ALBUS DUMBLEDORE
It seems so.

Pause.

MINERVA MCGONAGALL
You know what everyone is saying? About why he’s disappeared?

Dumbledore says nothing.

MINERVA MCGONAGALL
What they’re saying is that night You-Know-Who turned up in Godric’s Hollow. He went to find the Potters. The rumour is that Lily and James Potter are, are, that they’re dead.

Dumbledore bows his head, McGonagall gasps.

MINERVA MCGONAGALL
Lily and James, I can’t believe it, I didn’t want to believe it, Oh Albus.

Dumbledore pats McGonagall on the shoulder.

ALBUS DUMBLEDORE
I know, I know.

MINERVA MCGONAGALL
That’s not all. They’re saying he tried to kill the Potter’s son, Harry. But, he couldn’t. He couldn’t kill that little boy. No one knows why, or how, but they’re saying that when he couldn’t kill Harry Potter, You-Know-Who’s power somehow broke, and that’s why he’s gone.

Dumbledore nods.

MINERVA MCGONAGALL
It’s, it’s true? After all he’s done, all the people he’s killed, he couldn’t kill a little boy? But how in the name of heaven did Harry survive?

ALBUS DUMBLEDORE
We can only guess, we may never know.

Pause.

ALBUS DUMBLEDORE
Hagrid’s late. I suppose it was he who told you I’d be here, by the way?

MINERVA MCGONAGALL
Yes. And I don’t suppose you’re going to tell me why you’re here of all places?

ALBUS DUMBLEDORE
I’ve come to bring Harry to his aunt and uncle. They’re the only family he has left now.

McGonagall is suddenly shocked.

MINERVA MCGONAGALL
You don’t mean… You can’t mean the people who live here? I’ve been watching them all day. You couldn’t find any other people who are less like us. Harry Potter come and live here!

ALBUS DUMBLEDORE
It’s the best place for him. His aunt and uncle will be able to explain everything to him when he’s older. I’ve written them a letter.

MINERVA MCGONAGALL
A letter? Really Dumbledore, you think you can explain all this in a letter?

Dumbledore does not reply. Pause.

MINERVA MCGONAGALL
How is the boy getting here, Dumbledore?

ALBUS DUMBLEDORE
Hagrid’s bring him.

MINERVA MCGONAGALL
You think it … wise to trust Hagrid with something as important as this?

ALBUS DUMBLEDORE
I would trust Hagrid with my life.

MINERVA MCGONAGALL
I’m not saying his heart isn’t in the right place but you can’t pretend he’s not careless. He does tend to…

Suddenly, a RUMBLE is heard.

MINERVA MCGONAGALL
What was that?
  


Phrozenone October 3rd, 2007 1:39 am

Re: Fan Scripts: Harry Potter Remakes
 
INT. THE GREAT HALL-NIGHT

…Harry walking into the Great Hall with the rest of the students. He sits down between Harry and Ron

HERMIONE
What happened?

HARRY
I’ll tell you later.

The camera pans to Dumbledore standing up and the hall goes silent.

DUMBLEDORE
To our new students, welcome, to our old students, welcome back! Before we begin our banquet, I would like to say a few words. And here they are: Nitwit! Blubber! Oddment! Tweak! Thank You.
(There’s a laugh throughout the students as he turns to sit down and we hear McGonnagall clear her throat and throw a stern look at Dumbledore)
Oh right..
(He turns back around to the students.) Another year full of magical education awaits you…

HERMIONE
What happened to his hand?

RON
Dunno, but he seems to be off his nutter

HARRY
His hand was like that when I saw him over the summer. I thought he’d have cured it by now though….

HERMIONE
It looks as if it’s died. But there are some injuries you can’t cure…old curses…

DUMBLEDORE
We are pleased to welcome a new member of staff this year. Professor Slughorn is a former collegue of mine who has agreed to resume his old post of Potions master?

Everyone starts to look at each other in shock at the announced and Slughorn stands up and there is an applause .

RON
Potions?

DUMBLEDORE
Professor Snape, meanwhile, will be taking over the position of Defense Against the Dark Arts teacher.

HARRY
No.... No it can’t be.

The Slytherian table stands up to clap as Snape raises his hand in acknowledgement

RON
Well there’s one good thing, Snape’ll be gone by the end of the year.

HERMIONE
What do you mean?

RON
The jobs jinxed. No one’s lasted more than a year.

HARRY
Lets keep our fingers crossed for a death…

HERMIONE
Harry!

DUMBLEDORE
Now, as everybody in this Hall knows, Lord Voldemort and his followers are once again large and gaining in strength. (The enitre hall goes silent). I cannot emphasize strongly enough how dangerous the present sitiuation is. I urge you all, to abide by any securtiy restrictions that your teacher might impose upon you. I trust you to conduct yourselves, always, with the utmost regrad for your own and others safety.

The scene fades amd cuts to…

EXT. DEFENSE AGAINST THE DARK ARTS CLASSROOM-DAY

The students are sitting in their Defense Against the Dark Arts class talking amongst themselves. Snape storms into the room and some student proceed to take out their books.

SNAPE
I have not asked you to take out your books, I wish to speak to you, and I want your fullest attention. I am surprised so many of you scraped an O.W.L in this subject, I shall be even more surprised if all of you manage to keep up with the N.E.W.T. work. The Dark Arts are many, varied, ever changing, and eternal. Your defenses must therefore be as flexible and inventive as the arts you seek to undo. These pictures give a fair reprensentation of what happens to those who suffer, for instance,
(He waves his hand and the screen in the front of the class shows a witch that is shrieking in agony)

the Cruciatus Curse
(there is a quick shot of Neville as he waves his hand again and we see a wizard lying on the ground with a blank expression)

feel the Dementors Kiss

(he waves his hand and there’s a bloody mass on the projector)

or provoke the agression of the Inferius. Now who here can tell me what an Inferi is?

He looks around and only Hermione raises her hand. He looks over her and continues to talk…

SNAPE
Since there is know one…Inferi are corpses. Dead bodies that have been bewitched to a dark wizard biddings.

PERVATI
Has an Inferius been seen, then? Is it definite, he is using them?

SNAPE
The Dark Lord has used Inferi in the past, which means you would be well advised to assume he might use them again. Now can someone tell me the advantage of using a nonverbal spell?

Hermione is the only one who raises her hand again. Snape looks around past her but knowone else is raising their hand. He sighs and turns back to Hermione.

SNAPE
Very well…Miss Granger?

HERMIONE
Your adversary has no warning about what kind of magic you’re about to perform, which gives you a split second advantage.

SNAPE
An answer copied almost word for word from The Standard Book of Spells, Grade Six.
(We see a shot of Malfoy and his friends laugh.)
But correct in essentials. Those who progress to using magic without shouting incantations gain an element of surprise in their spell casting. Not all wizards can do this, of course; it is a question of concentration and mind power which some...
(He looks at Harry) Lack. Now you will now divide into pairs. One partner will attempt to jinx the other without speaking. The other will attempt to repel the jinx in equal silence. Carry on.

The scene cuts to everyone in his or her pairs attempting to jinx the other. The camera pans to Ron who has a strained look on his face as he tries to jinx Harry.

RON
Bloody hell, this seemed so much easier when someone else does it…

HARRY
Just concentrate a little more or something

Ron strains his face again and a weird sounds shoots out of his wand and everyone in the class laughs. Snape frowns and walks swiftly over to them and looks at Ron in disgust.

SNAPE
Pathetic, Weasley. (He takes out his wand) Here…let me show you (Snape turns quickly and points his wand at Harry)

HARRY
PROTEGO!

The sheild reflects the spell throwing Snape backwards into his desk. He gets up angrily and walks towards Harry.

SNAPE
Do you remember me telling you we were practicing nonverbal spells, Potter?

HARRY
Yes.

SNAPE
Yes, sir.

HARRY
There’s no need to call me ‘sir,’ Professor

People gasp in the background

SNAPE
Detention, Saturday night, my office Potter. I do not take cheek from anyone…not even ‘the Chosen One’ Now you all get back to your lesson.

The camera zooms in to Harry and the scene fades to…

INT. HOGWARTS-FIRST FLOOR CORRIDOR-AFTERNOON

Harry, Ron, and Hermione walking down a hallway. There are a few students walking around holding hands and Ron frowns at one couple as they pass by.

HERMIONE
Harry what made you say that to him?

HARRY
He tried to jinx me, in case you didn’t notice! What’s Dumbledore playing at, anyway, letting him teach Defense? Did you hear him talking about the Dark Arts? He loves them! All that unfixed, indestructable stuff…

HERMIONE
I thought he sounded a bit like you when you were telling us what it’s like to face Voldemort. You said it wasn’t just about memorizing a bunch of spells.

RON
Yeah but still, I always knew Dumbledore was going off his rocker, and this just proves it. And now we have to take Potions again since Slughorn is excepting lower scores for the course…

A group of girls pass by and Lavender Brown waves at Ron with a smile on her face. He waves back and we see Herimione roll her eyes as Katie Bell comes running up behind them with a letter in his hand.

KATIE
Harry! Hey, Harry!
(She hands Harry the letter)
For you! Listen, congrats on making captian for the team. Tell me when you call trials!

HARRY
Don’t be stupid Katie, you don’t need to try out. I’ve watched you play for five years…

KATIE
You mustn’t start off like that, good teams have been ruined before because Captians just kept playing the old faces and letting in their friends. Gotta run though, see ya!

(Katie bows his head and runs off)

HARRY
(Opens the letter and reads)
It’s from Dumbledore, he wants me to meet him in his office on Saturday for the private lessons.

RON
Snapes not going to be pleased, you won’t be able to go to detention

HARRY
All the better then.

ArryGrotter October 3rd, 2007 10:28 pm

Re: Fan Scripts: Harry Potter Remakes
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by Phrozenone (Post 4795871)
I have a script that I've done for HBP

It's REALLY great to see someone else's script. Are you ready for some constructive criticism?

Spoiler: show
I think that your scenes are too cutty. Meaning that they suddenly end, and then they suddenly start somewhere else, and only if you read the book would you know how they got there. That's all for now.


You can give me criticism too.

Here's the next part of the 'Boy Who Lived' scene. Together, it's still lengthy.

The second half of the arrival scene I am cutting:    


  
PS: Night time arrival Part 2 (The Boy Who Lived)McGonagall and Dumbledore get of the brick wall and look down the deserted street. The rumble is getting LOUDER. When McGonagall finishes her search, she looks to Dumbledore, who is looking at the sky. A GIANT MOTORBIKE is landing. On the motorbike is RUBEUS HAGRID, an extremely large man in his early 50s. He gets off, carrying a bundle of blankets.

ALBUS DUMBLEDORE
Hagrid. At last. And where did you get that motorbike?

RUBEUS HAGRID
Borrowed it, Professor Dumbledore, sir. Young Sirius Black lent it me. I got him sir.

Hagrid looks down at the blankets. A 1-year-old HARRY POTTER is sleeping inside them. Dumbledore addresses Hagrid.

ALBUS DUMBLEDORE
No problems, were there?

RUBEUS HAGRID
No, sir – house was almost destroyed, but I got him out all right before the Muggles started swarmin’ around.

Dumbledore and McGonagall observe the baby. It has BLACK HAIR and GREEN EYES. On its forehead is a CUT, SHAPED LIKE LIGHTNING.

MINERVA MCGONAGALL
Is that where…?

ALBUS DUMBLEDORE
Yes. He’ll have that scar forever.

MINERVA MCGONAGALL
Couldn’t you do something about it, Dumbledore?

ALBUS DUMBLEDORE
Even if I could, I wouldn’t. Scars can come in handy. Well – give him here, Hagrid – we’d better get this over with.

Harry is passed from Hagrid to Dumbledore. The three of them turn to face number 4, sadness over all their faces.

RUBEUS HAGRID
Could I – could I say good-bye to him, sir?

Hagrid bends down and gives baby Harry a kiss, then lets out a saddened howl.

McGonagall pats Hagrid on the arm. Dumbledore makes his way to the FRONT DOOR of number 4 and lays Harry on the DOORMAT. Dumbledore then takes out a LETTER and tucks it in Harry’s blankets. Dumbledore walks back and the three of them stand silently for a while, staring at baby Harry.

ALBUS DUMBLEDORE
Well, that’s that. We’ve no business staying here. We may as well go and join the celebrations.

RUBEUS HAGRID
Yeah, I best get this bike away. G’night, Professor McGonagall – Professor Dumbledore, sir.

Still moping up his tears, Hagrid gets back on the bike and departs.

ALBUS DUMBLEDORE
I shall see you soon, I expect, Professor McGonagall.

McGonagall blows her nose in a way of reply. Dumbledore walks back out to road. He pulls out the Deluminator and clicks it once, all the street lights come back to life. He looks back at NUMBER FOUR, PRIVET DRIVE where a tabby cat can now be seen, slowly departing.

ALBUS DUMBLEDORE
Good luck, Harry

Baby Harry turns in his sleep, clutching Dumbledore’s letter
  


DeathlyH October 3rd, 2007 10:57 pm

Re: Fan Scripts: Harry Potter Remakes
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by ArryGrotter (Post 4768893)
This is a thread where you can show how you would have scripted Harry Potter, or will, cause it's bound to be remade. Come and have a go!


So, I've been thinking. Harry Potter will be remade, no doubt about it. So I thought, what would the script be like? It would have to be differrent. So I tried, myself, making a script for PS. It's a VERY early draft (It includes everything) and only covers the first two chapters and abit of the third.

NB: The Post #6 version of this script,which had the most cuts, has been deleted. What was cut in the script is now in red on this script.


So when there is a remake, would this be a contender?

Well, that's pretty much an exact copy of the book, down to the line. They can't make the opening chapters 30 minutes! The real movie would be 7 or 8 hours!

Quote:

Originally Posted by Paper_Shoes (Post 4795430)
I wrote this a couple weeks ago. I worked on it for about an hour and couldn't believe that it took so long just to write like a minute and half of a movie, so I gave up. I don't like it nearly as much now as much as I did when writing, but I thought I'd post it anyway, since it took so long. It might be a little violent, by the way.

But that's not how it happens. I think you should use Chapter 17, Bathilda's Secret, in Dh, to do that.

ArryGrotter October 3rd, 2007 11:42 pm

Re: Fan Scripts: Harry Potter Remakes
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by deathly721 (Post 4799067)
Well, that's pretty much an exact copy of the book, down to the line. They can't make the opening chapters 30 minutes! The real movie would be 7 or 8 hours.

I figured that out myself. So I made a new one, veiwable here, here, here and here (Posts 12, 13, 23 and 25).

As you can see, I am struggling at the arrival of Harry: I want to make it short, but I want to have lots of information in it.

Paper_Shoes October 4th, 2007 1:31 am

Re: Fan Scripts: Harry Potter Remakes
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by deathly721 (Post 4799067)
But that's not how it happens. I think you should use Chapter 17, Bathilda's Secret, in Dh, to do that.

Like I said a couple of posts later, I don't really remember what happened and in fact I didn't even remember that it was shown in DH. I was just writing it for fun and didn't really care about contradicting anything.

I guess I'll go re-read chapter 17 though. Now I'm curious.

edit: well, it's pretty much exactly the same, isn't it? voldemort shows up unexpected, james tells lily to protect harry, gets killed, voldemort goes upstairs, kills lily and then tries to kill harry. i just added some fire.

ArryGrotter October 4th, 2007 1:54 am

Re: Fan Scripts: Harry Potter Remakes
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by Paper_Shoes (Post 4799228)
Like I said a couple of posts later, I don't really remember what happened and in fact I didn't even remember that it was shown in DH. I was just writing it for fun and didn't really care about contradicting anything.

I guess I'll go re-read chapter 17 though. Now I'm curious.

edit: well, it's pretty much exactly the same, isn't it? voldemort shows up unexpected, james tells lily to protect harry, gets killed, voldemort goes upstairs, kills lily and then tries to kill harry. i just added some fire.

The thing that struck me as completely different was they had wands.

---
Here are a couple of scenes I've been thinking about for the past week:

The first is form DH, the start of King's Cross:
DH: King's CrossThe camera zooms in on Harry’s head, lying face down. And…

…the scene fades. Harry is still lying in the same position and place. Slowly Harry wakes up.

The surrounds are cloudy and misty. Harry moves nothing but his eyes, lying their gracefully.

He reaches out an arm to feel the mist he is lying on. He pushes it, it springs back a little. He suddenly notices his arm is bare and looks at the rest of his body, taken a back. Suddenly robes materialize on him out of nowhere.

He decides to stand up. The place still looks like a cloud, but as he finally is on his feet, a room start to form.


The second will be in OotP, when Harry's breaking stuff (it's forshadowing, see if you can work it out)

OotP: The Lost ProphecyHarry throws a triangular object to the floor. The triangular pyramid, which forms the outside, breaks open, and a round ball falls off the pole, hitting a leg of one of the tables and breaking. Dumbledore seems intrigued by this last breakage.


---
Update on the Harry arrival scene:
It's gone from 6 pages to 4 and a half. I think I'm happy with it now, but I haven't changed around the written stuff, just the dialogue, so it may come out as 5 pages

I put the Shreiking Shack scene from PoA in the same format as I do and it came out as 7 pages, so maybe some of these big scenes can be long.

When I write the graveyard scene in GoF, that will probably be 20 pages won't it, cause that's, what, 4 chapters long in the book

---
Yeah, it's ended up as 5 pages
Here's the full scene

PS: Night time arrival (The Boy Who Lived)5 – INT. 4 PRIVET DRIVE – LATE EVENING – 1/11/1981

Vernon is lying in his BED, deep in thought. He shrugs of his thoughts and goes to sleep. The camera PASSES THROUGH THE WINDOW to…

6 – EXT. 4 PRIVET DRIVE – LATE EVENING – 1-2/11/1981

…the cat which is still sitting on the brick fence. It is STIFF and LOOKING IN ONE DIRECTION. The camera then shows that the ROAD is DESERTED. It slowly lays to rests on one of the STREET LAMPS.

POP. Pause. Then a DIFFERENT POP as the lamp EXTINGUISHES. The camera CUTS BACK to the cat, which is now MOVING ITS HEAD. The lamp NEAREST THE BRICK WALL extinguishes with another POP. The camera then CUTS to an ELDERLY MAN (ALBUS DUMBLEDORE) standing in the once deserted street, he is putting away an OBJECT WHICH LOOKS LIKE A CIGARETTE LIGHTER (DELUMINATOR). Dumbledore sits next to the cat on the fence and, AFTER A MOMENT’S PAUSE, turns and speaks to it.

ALBUS DUMBLEDORE
Fancy seeing you here, Professor McGonagall.

THE CAMERA TURNS to see that the cat is TRANSFORMING INTO A WOMAN in her LATE 50S, WEARING A CLOAK.

MINERVA MCGONAGALL
How did you know it was me?

ALBUS DUMBLEDORE
My dear Professor, I’ve never seen a cat sit so stiffly.

MINERVA MCGONAGALL
You’d be stiff if you’d been sitting on a brick wall all day.

ALBUS DUMBLEDORE
All day? When you could have been celebrating?

MINERVA MCGONAGALL
(Angrily) Oh yes, everyone’s celebrating, all right. Even the Muggles have noticed something’s going on.

McGonagall points to NUMBER FOUR, PRIVET DRIVE

ALBUS DUMBLEDORE
You can’t blame them. We’ve had had precious little to celebrate for eleven years.

Pause. McGonagall seems angry.

MINERVA MCGONAGALL
A fine thing it would be if, on the very day You-Know-Who seems to have disappeared at last, the Muggles found out about us all. (Pause) I suppose he really has gone, Dumbledore?

ALBUS DUMBLEDORE
It certainly seems so.

Pause.

MINERVA MCGONAGALL
You know what everyone is saying? About why he’s disappeared?

Dumbledore says nothing.

MINERVA MCGONAGALL
What they’re saying is that night You-Know-Who went to Godric’s Hollow to find the Potters. The rumour is that Lily and James Potter are… are… that they’re dead.

Dumbledore bows his head, McGonagall gasps.

MINERVA MCGONAGALL
Lily and James, I can’t believe it.

Dumbledore pats McGonagall on the shoulder.

ALBUS DUMBLEDORE
I know, I know.

MINERVA MCGONAGALL
(Sniffing) That’s not all. They’re saying he tried to kill their son, Harry. But, he couldn’t. (Pause) No one knows why, or how, but they’re saying that when he couldn’t kill Harry Potter, You-Know-Who’s power somehow broke, and that’s why he’s gone.

Dumbledore nods.

MINERVA MCGONAGALL
It’s… it’s true? After all the people he’s killed, he couldn’t kill a little boy? But did Harry survive?

ALBUS DUMBLEDORE
We can only guess, we may never know.

Pause.

ALBUS DUMBLEDORE
Hagrid’s late. I suppose it was he who told you I’d be here, by the way?

MINERVA MCGONAGALL
Yes. And I don’t suppose you’re going to tell me why you’re here of all places?

ALBUS DUMBLEDORE
I’ve come to bring Harry to the only family he now has left.

McGonagall is confused, but not for long, as Dumbledore looks up at 4 Privet Drive, and McGonagall is suddenly shocked.

MINERVA MCGONAGALL
You can’t mean the people who live here? You couldn’t find any other people who are less like us. Harry Potter come and live here!

Dumbledore speaks reasonably calm.

ALBUS DUMBLEDORE
It’s the best place for him. His aunt and uncle will be able to explain everything to him when he’s older. I’ve written them a letter.

MINERVA MCGONAGALL
A letter? Really Dumbledore, you think you can explain all this in a letter?

Dumbledore still looks at the house and does not reply. Pause.

MINERVA MCGONAGALL
How is the boy getting here, Dumbledore?

ALBUS DUMBLEDORE
Hagrid’s bring him.

MINERVA MCGONAGALL
You think it (Pause) wise to trust Hagrid with something as important as this?

Dumbledore turns on McGonagall, but speaks calm.

ALBUS DUMBLEDORE
I would trust Hagrid with my life.

MINERVA MCGONAGALL
I’m not saying his heart isn’t in the right place but…

Suddenly, a RUMBLE is heard.

MINERVA MCGONAGALL
What was that?

McGonagall and Dumbledore get of the brick wall and look down the deserted street. The rumble is getting LOUDER. When McGonagall finishes her search, she looks to Dumbledore, who is looking at the sky. A GIANT MOTORBIKE is landing. On the motorbike is RUBEUS HAGRID, an EXTREMLY TALL MAN (HALF-GIANT) in his EARLY 50S. He gets off, carrying a BUNDLE OF BLANKETS.

ALBUS DUMBLEDORE
Hagrid. At last. And where did you get that motorbike?

RUBEUS HAGRID
Borrowed it, Professor Dumbledore, sir. Young Sirius Black lent it me. (Pause) I got him sir.

Hagrid looks down at the blankets. A 1-YEAR-OLD HARRY POTTER is sleeping inside them. Dumbledore addresses Hagrid.

ALBUS DUMBLEDORE
No problems, were there?

RUBEUS HAGRID
No, sir – house was almost destroyed, but I got him OK.

Dumbledore and McGonagall observe the baby. It has BLACK HAIR and GREEN EYES. ON ITS FOREHEAD is a CUT, SHAPED LIKE LIGHTNING.

MINERVA MCGONAGALL
Is that where…?

ALBUS DUMBLEDORE
Yes. He’ll have that scar forever.

MINERVA MCGONAGALL
Couldn’t you do something about it, Dumbledore?

ALBUS DUMBLEDORE
Even if I could, I wouldn’t. Scars can come in handy. (Pause) Well, we’d better get this over with.

Harry is passed from Hagrid to Dumbledore. The three of them turn to face number 4, sadness over all their faces.

RUBEUS HAGRID
Could I – could I say good-bye to him, sir?

Hagrid bends down and gives baby Harry a kiss, then lets out a saddened howl. McGonagall pats Hagrid on the arm. Dumbledore makes his way to the FRONT DOOR of number 4 and lays Harry on the DOORMAT. Dumbledore then takes out a LETTER and tucks it in Harry’s blankets. Dumbledore walks back and the three of them stand silently for a while, staring at baby Harry.

ALBUS DUMBLEDORE
Well, that’s that. We’ve no business staying here. We may as well go and join the celebrations.

RUBEUS HAGRID
Yeah, I best get this bike away. G’night, Professor McGonagall – Professor Dumbledore, sir.

Still moping up his tears, Hagrid gets back on the bike and departs. IN A WAY OF REPLY, Dumbledore says…

ALBUS DUMBLEDORE
Professor McGonagall

McGonagall simply blows her nose. Dumbledore walks back out to road. He pulls out the Deluminator and clicks it once: ALL THE STREET LIGHTS COME BACK TO LIFE. He looks back at 4 Privet Drive where a TABBY CAT can now be seen, slowly departing.

ALBUS DUMBLEDORE
Good luck, Harry

Baby Harry turns in his sleep, clutching Dumbledore’s letter


---
So I'm moving on. I now have 7 pages of Dudley's Birthday/Snake incident I want to make 4 or 5. And I'm meant to be writing a speech...

---

I've been trying to make the thread easier to read, as the posts are REALLY long, but they need to be.

I was searching the FAQs to find something useful and found these. They are really helpful at shortening the thread, yet keeping everything there, I suggest you use them.

Quote:

Collapsible Box:
Will put your content in an expandable/collapsable container with the caption at the top of the container.
Usage: (expand=Option)value(/expand)
NB: Change () to []
Example Usage: (expand=caption)content(/expand)
NB: Change () to []
Example Output:
caption:    


  content  



Fieldset :
Usage: (fieldset=Option)value(/fieldset)
NB: Change () to []
Example Usage: (fieldset=Harry Potter)This book rocks!(/fieldset)
NB: Change () to []
Example Output:
Harry PotterThis book rocks!


ArryGrotter October 5th, 2007 2:07 am

Re: Fan Scripts: Harry Potter Remakes
 
The next scene which I am having trouble cutting:    


  
Edit: I've added the next part as well as I've decided I'll do them both at the same time.
PS: The Vanishing Glass, The Letters From No OneCUT TO DARKNESS. Suddenly a shrill voice is heard.

PETUNIA DURSLEY
Up! Get up! Now!

7 – INT. THE CUPBOARD UNDER THE STAIRS - 4 PRIVET DRIVE – MORNING - 23/6/1991

A 10-YEAR-OLD HARRY POTTER wakes. It is heard that Petunia leaves and muddles around in the kitchen. Harry turns on his side. Through Harry’s POV muffled visions of a flying motorbike can be seen in front of the wall. Suddenly, Petunia voice can be heard again.

PETUNIA DURSLEY
Get a move on; I want you to look after the bacon. Don’t you dare let it burn, for Duddy’s birthday!

Harry groans and falls back onto his bed.

8 – INT. THE KITCHEN - 4 PRIVET DRIVE – MORNING - 23/6/1991

Harry is now serving the BACON to Vernon. Petunia (in her 30s too) and DUDLEY DURSLEY, an obese, blond, 11-year-old, enter. Dudley finishes counting the presents, but is displeased.

DUDLEY DURSLEY
Thirty-six. That’s two less than last year.

PETUNIA DURSLEY
Darling, you haven’t counted Auntie Marge’s present.

She points to the smallest present.

PETUNIA DURSLEY
See, it’s here under this big one from Mummy and Daddy.

DUDLEY DURSLEY
All right, thirty-seven then.

Dudley gets angry. His hands are both on the table. Harry takes his plate to the kitchen and continues to eat there.

PETUNIA DURSLEY
And - And we’ll buy you another two presents while we’re out today. How’s that, popkin? Two more presents. Is that all right?

Dudley looks like he is concentrating really hard.

DUDLEY DURSLEY
So I’ll have thirty … thirty…

PETUNIA DURSLEY
…nine, sweetums

DUDLEY DURSLEY
Oh. All right then.

And he begins to unwrap his presents. Vernon chuckles. The. TELEPHONE suddenly RINGS. Petunia goes to answer it.

VERNON DURSLEY
Little tyke wants his money’s worth, just like his father. ‘Atta boy, Dudley!

He ruffles Dudley’s hair, but Dudley isn’t paying attention. He has just unwrapped a REMOTE CONTROL AEROPLANE and has dived for another present.

None of the telephone conversation is heard. Harry just continues eating and Dudley rips the wrapping of a cine-camera and a computer game. Petunia eventually comes back, both angry and worried.

PETUNIA DURSLEY
Bad news, Vernon. Mrs Figg’s broken her leg. She can’t take him.

Petunia jerks her head towards the kitchen, where Harry is eating. Dudley finally looks up, his mouth open in horror; ripping the wrapping he had just been holding as he does so, showing a gold wrist-watch.

Petunia and Vernon hold a conversation, ignoring the children, mainly Harry.

PETUNIA DURSLEY
Now what?

VERNON DURSLEY
We could phone Marge.

PETUNIA DURSLEY
Don’t be silly, she hates the boy.

Harry speaks up

HARRY POTTER
You could just leave me here.

Petunia suddenly turns on Harry.

PETUNIA DURSLEY
And come back and find the house in ruins?

HARRY POTTER
I won’t blow up the house.

Petunia speaks the next words slowly

PETUNIA DURSLEY
I suppose we could take him to the zoo …

Suddenly a loud wailing noise is heard. Dudley has begun to fake cry.

PETUNIA DURSLEY
Dinky Duddydums don’t cry.

And she hugs her son.

DUDLEY DURSLEY
I … don’t … want … him … t-t-to come! He always sp-spoils everything!

Dudley gives Harry a nasty grin through his mother’s arms. Suddenly the doorbell rings. Petunia lets go of Dudley and he stop to cry at once.

PETUNIA DURSLEY
Oh, good Lord, they’re here!

She and Dudley rush to the front door. Vernon stays with Harry, making up his mind.

VERNON DURSLEY
Well, you’ve managed to get your way. But, (Pause) I’m warning you now, boy (Pause) any funny business, anything at all and you’ll be in that cupboard for a month.

HARRY POTTER
I’m not going to do anything, honestly…

But Harry can’t seem to be able to mean the last word. As the sentence completes, the camera zooms in on Harry and a series of flashbacks begin.

9 – INT. A SCHOOL CLASSROOM - MIDDAY

The TEACHER’S WIG is suddenly TURNED BLUE.

10 – INT. THE KITCHEN - 4 PRIVET DRIVE

Petunia tries to force a JUMPER over Harry’s head. It shrinks and shrinks until it is so small it would fit a glove puppet.

11 – EXT. SCHOOL - LUNCHTIME

Dudley, Piers and some other of HIS GANG are chasing Harry. Harry tries to jump behind a BIN, but finds himself on the ROOF.

12 – INT. THE KITCHEN - 4 PRIVET DRIVE – MORNING - 23/6/1991

We return to the original scene, and Harry is rather unsettled

13 - INT. / EXT. THE DURSLEY’S CAR – SURREY – MID-MORNING - 23/6/1991

BRRRMMM. A motorbike overtakes the DURSLEY’S CAR.

VERNON DURSLEY
…roaring along like maniacs, the young hoodlums.

HARRY POTTER
I had a dream about a motorbike. It was flying.
Vernon nearly crashes into the car in front. He turns around in his seat to look at Harry

VERNON DURSLEY
MOTORBIKES DON’T FLY!

Dudley and Piers s******.

HARRY POTTER
I know they don’t.

Harry looks out the window. The camera LOOKS IN ON HIM

HARRY POTTER
It was only a dream.

CUT TO:

14 - INT. REPTILE HOUSE - THE ZOO – AFTERNOON - 23/6/1991

The camera PANS DOWN to a GLASS CAGE of the LARGEST SNAKE, a BOA CONSTRICTOR. It is fast asleep. Dudley runs up to it and presses his nose against the glass, frowns, then turns to his father.

DUDLEY DURSLEY
Make it move.

Vernon taps on the glass, but the snake doesn’t move.

DUDLEY DURSLEY
Do it again.

Vernon taps the glass the glass again, but still nothing happens

DUDLEY DURSLEY
This is boring.

And he moves away, Harry, however, stays looking in on the snake relating to it.

HARRY POTTER
It must be really annoying.

.The snake then opens its eyes and slowly raises its head so that it is level with Harry’s. The snake nods. Harry looks around, then back at the snake. Pause.

HARRY POTTER
Where do you come from, anyway?

The snake points its tail at the SIGN next to the glass. It reads ‘Boa Constrictor, Brazil.’

HARRY POTTER
Was it nice there?

The snake points again to the sign. Beneath it is a SMALLER SIGN. It reads ‘This specimen was bred in the zoo.’

HARRY POTTER
Oh, I see.

A loud shout is suddenly heard from behind…

PIERS POLKISS
DUDLEY! MR DURSLEY! COME AND LOOK AT THIS SNAKE! YOU WON’T BELIEVE WHAT IT’S DOING!

Dudley rushes up to the snake’s cage.

DUDLEY DURSLEY
Out of the way, you.

And he punches Harry in the ribs. Harry falls onto the CONCRETE FLOOR. Piers and Dudley lean right up to the glass then suddenly they become unsteady as the GLASS DISAPPEARS. The snake uncoils itself and slithers out of its cage, onto the floor. People scream and run for the exits. The snake goes past Harry (on the floor) and a voice can be heard…

SNAKE
Brazil, here I come … Thanksss, amigo.

And it slithers out the door; Harry follows it with his eyes, a little confused.

15 – INT. THE DURSLEY’S CAR – SURREY – AFTERNOON - 23/6/1991

The Dursleys, Harry and Piers are all in the Dursley’s car, all looking a little scared and lost for words, except Dudley and Piers

DUDLEY DURSLEY
Did you see how it nearly bit off by leg? But I shook it off…

PIERS POLKISS
I swear it was trying to squeeze me to death.

The car stops at traffic lights as Piers suddenly turns on Harry.

PIERS POLKISS
Harry was talking to it, weren’t you, Harry?

Harry is lost for words. Vernon turns and looks at Harry with menace over his face.

16 – INT. THE CUPBOARD UNDER THE STAIRS – 4 PRIVET DRIVE – CONTINUING - 23/6/1991

VERNON DURSLEY
Go – cupboard – stay – no meals

Vernon pushes Harry into his cupboard. Harry lies in bed, but doesn’t go to sleep.

Remembered voices echo in his head.

(YOUNG) HARRY POTTER (OV)
How did I get my scar?

PETUNIA DURSLEY (OV)
In the car crash when your parents died. And don’t ask questions

The room is suddenly filled with green light, as though Harry is remembering it.

FADE TO BLACK

The scene numbers are wrong on the rest, I'll change them later. There might be other mistakes
Edit: I realised the above numbers are wrong, as I forgot about the omitted scenes, oops


27B INT. KITCHEN – 4 PRIVET DRIVE – MORNING - 24/7/1991

Harry is now eating A SINGLE PIECE OF TOAST at the KITCHEN TABLE. Vernon is carrying the newspaper. He unfolds it and begins to read it when he is seated. Dudley is carrying his SMELTINGS STICK. He places this next to the large serving of BACON AND EGGS he was just given by Petunia. She places Vernon’s on the table, and as she is just about to return to the kitchen, the NOISE OF LETTERS DELIVERED is heard. Petunia stops dead for a slight moment, then continues back to the kitchen.

VERNON DURSLEY
Get the mail, Dudley.

DUDLEY DURSLEY
Make Harry get it.

Vernon takes down the newspaper and notices for the first time that Harry is in the room.

VERNON DURSLEY
Get the mail, Harry.

HARRY POTTER
Make Dudley get it.

DUDLEY DURSLEY
Poke him with your Smelting stick, Dudley.

And Dudley, happy for an excuse to use it, reaches for his Smeltings stick, while shovelling food in with his other hand. He turns around and finds Harry has already gone past.

28 INT. ENTRANCE – 4 PRIVET DRIVE – CONTINUING - 24/7/1991

Harry walks to the pile of letters lying on the MAT glumly. He picks them up and they are shown to the audience: A POSTCARD SHOWING ISLE OF WIGHT AND A FAT WOMAN, AUNT MARGE, WHO LOOKS LIKE VERNON; A BILL; and A LETTER OF YELLOW PARCHMENT WITH THE WORDS: Mr H. Potter, The Cupboard under the Stairs, 4 Privet Drive, Little Whinging, Surrey WRITTEN ON IN GREEN INK. Harry stares at the letter, it is unbelievable. He turns it over to see A COAT OF ARMS FORMED BY A LION, EAGLE, BADGER AND SNAKE AROUND AN ‘H’ ON A PURPLE WAX SEAL. Then…

VERNON DURSLEY (OV)
Hurry up, boy! What are you doing, checking for letter bombs?

Vernon chuckles at his own joke. Harry is out of his trance and motions towards the door.

29A INT. KITCHEN – 4 PRIVET DRIVE – CONTINUING - 24/7/1991

Harry walks back in, still staring at his letter. It is separate to the bill and postcard now and he hands this to Vernon, who is still behind the newspaper.

VERNON DURSLEY
Marge’s ill. (speaking to Petunia) Ate a funny whelk…

But he is cut off by Dudley.

DUDLEY DURSLEY
Dad! Dad, Harry’s got something!

Harry is shown to be just about to be unfolding the LETTER inside, but it is forced away my Vernon.

HARRY POTTER
That’s MINE!

He tries to snatch it back.

VENON DURSLEY
Who’d be writing to you?

Petunia looks at Harry and the letter, looking as though she thinks she knows this answer, but at the same time doesn’t want to know the answer. Vernon opens the letter and on first glance is frozen, and terrified.

VERNON DURSLEY
P-P-Petunia!

Dudley reaches this time. Harry just looks confused. Petunia, thinking she knows what it is, takes it from Vernon. She reads it for about 2 seconds and when she finishes, she looks as though she is about to faint, but chokes a few words.

PETUNIA DURSLEY
Vernon! Oh my goodness – Vernon!


They stare at each other. Dudley gives Vernon a hit on the head with his Smeltings stick for being ignored.

DUDLEY DURSLEY
I want to read that letter!

HARRY POTTER
I want to read it, as it’s mine.

VERNON DURSLEY
Get out, both of you

He stuffs the letter in his pocket. Neither move.

HARRY POTTER
I WANT MY LETTER!

DUDLEY DURSLEY
Let me see it!

VERNON DURSLEY
OUT!

Vernon chucks them out of the room.

29B INT. ENTRANCE – 4 PRIVET DRIVE – CONTINUING - 24/7/1991

Vernon slams the door in their faces. Harry and Dudley have a silent fight over the keyhole.

29C INT. KITCHEN – 4 PRIVET DRIVE – MORNING - 24/7/1991

She looks down at the envelope that she is now holding, and addresses Vernon.

PETUNIA DURSLEY

Vernon, look at the address – how could they possibly know where he sleeps? You don’t think they’re watching the house?

VERNON DURSLEY
Watching – spying – might be following us.

PETUNIA DURSLEY
But what should we do, Vernon? Should we write back? Tell them we don’t want…

29D INT. ENTRANCE – 4 PRIVET DRIVE – MORNING - 24/7/1991

Harry is lying on his stomach listening through the crack under the kitchen door. The light shifts around in the crack, and a shot shows feet pacing.

29E INT. KITCHEN – 4 PRIVET DRIVE – MORNING - 24/7/1991

Vernon stops pacing

VERNON DURSLEY
No. No, we’ll ignore it. If they don’t get an answer … yes, that’s best … we won’t do anything…

PETUNIA DURSLEY
But…

29F INT. ENTRANCE – 4 PRIVET DRIVE – MORNING - 24/7/1991

The camera zooms into a confused Harry.

VERNON DURSLEY (OV)
I’m not having one in the house, Petunia! Didn’t we swear when we took him in we’d stamp out that dangerous nonsense?
  


crookshanks15 October 5th, 2007 2:33 am

Re: Fan Scripts: Harry Potter Remakes
 
I love the rewrite, good job. Its much better. I will read the next scene you just posted tomorrow, I dont have time to do it now.

ArryGrotter October 5th, 2007 2:37 am

Re: Fan Scripts: Harry Potter Remakes
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by crookshanks15 (Post 4800242)
I love the rewrite, good job. Its much better. I will read the next scene you just posted tomorrow, I dont have time to do it now.

Thanks.

I think I'm too protective of my work. Once I've written it I don't want it to go. But something has to or it will be nearing 4 or 5 hours. I'm fine with 3 hours, but would prefer the shortest with the most in it. It's going to be horrible when I try scripting OotP.
---
I decided to leave the Vanishing Glass for the moment and am now trying to cut the letter arrival scene. It's funny because I told myself that I would have scenes in between them unlike 2001-PS-Film, but I've cut the desruction of Dudley's toy's, I've cut Mrs Figg, I've cut the uniforms and any mention of Dudley's or Harry's schools (should that go back in?).

All together I've cut 3 pages of scenes in between these two.

---
I decided to compare timings with the 2004-PoA script I have in the same format.

By the time 'The Boy Who Lived' is over, Harry's on the Knight Bus.
Harry meets Ron and Hermione the same time he meets the snake.
Dementors are attacking by the time the Petunia and Vernon finish their talk about the letter.

Though, I always think the beginning of the HP films have been rushed
---
On a bright note, I've gone from 26 pages to 18 for up to the first letter.

Blast_ended October 5th, 2007 11:53 pm

Re: Fan Scripts: Remake Harry Potter
 
Phrozenone, you write the scenes nicely but some of the scenes you included are ABOLUTELY POINTLESS. Why bother with Igor Karkaroff? He has nothing, absolutely nothing, to do with the plot, it is just a waste of screen time in my opinion. I would have include Spinner's End instead, or write a more relevant scene.

The Dursleys - the scene is much TOO LONG, and include some absolutely pointless pieces of dialog. For example, I would have cut Kreacher and Grimmauld Place all together... and Dumbledore talking at the end is too long.

Later, why bother with OWLs results? They have nothing to do with the plot of the book. I would also cut both Bill & Fleur, but this is a much harder choice. Again, CUT KARKAROFF, his mentions is pointless.

I would cut Quidditch, cut the Madam Malkin shop scene, and as much as I like her - cut Luna Lovegood too. She'll come back in DH.

I found a old HBP scripts I've written. They are very old and not that good, but here it is if you're interested... might have cut too much, though. I have two versions of the opening - Spinner's End and a new scene.

----------------------

FIRST OPENING
EXT. A MUGGLE STREET, NIGHT

Music begins. A shot of a dark town from above. The camera delay on a street: someone is moving there.

BELLATRIX LESTRANGE
AVADA KEDAVRA!

A shot of green light; The man is falling down down, dead. Two womans get out from behind the bush. It is Bellatrix and Narcissa. Bellatrix kneeling over the body.

BELLATRIX LESTRANGE
Just a muggle, I though perhaps an auror... Cissy, wait!

Narcissa start walking.

BELLATRIX LESTRANGE
It is a betrayel of the dark lord!

NARCISSA MALFOY
That’s my son! You don’t understand, Bella, you never had sons...

BELLATRIX LESTRANGE
Narcissa Malfoy, don’t do it! The Dark Lord ordered you not to!

NARCISSA MALFOY
Leave me alone. I’ve done my desicion!

The two womans reach a house. Narcissa knocks on the door: it opens and we see Severus Snape standing in there.

INT SNAPE’S HOUSE

SEVERUS SNAPE
Narcissa, Bellatrix, what a suprise! Come in...

NARCISSA MALFOY
I need to talk to you, Snape. Are we alone?

SEVERUS SNAPE
Yes, we are quite alone. What is it, Narcissa?

NARCISSA MALFOY
The Dark Lord has forbidden me to talk about it, but...

SEVERUS SNAPE
Then you should shut your mouth!

BELLATRIX LESTRANGE
You see? Even he say you can’t speak on the Dark Lord secret plans for anyone!

SEVERUS SNAPE
However... I already know the plan.

Little silence.

NARCISSA MALFOY
I know you would! The Dark Lord trust you so much!

SEVERUS SNAPE
Well... what do you need me to do?

NARCISSA MALFOY
My son! My only son!

SEVERUS SNAPE
I can’t change the Dark Lord’s mind, if that’s what you’re asking. He already decided: Draco will do it.

Narcissa start crying.

NARCISSA MALFOY
But why? He is too young! He will never make it! And... The Dark Lord does not want him to succeed, right? He want him to die trying, as a revenge for Lucios failure!


BELLATRIX LESTRANGE
You should be proud! Your son is about to do a very important mission, and...

NARCISSA MALFOY
I don’t care it’s important! He will die! He’s too proud to ask for help! You can help him, Severus...

SEVERUS SNAPE
I can try, but...

BELLATRIX LESTRANGE
Of course, he’ll try, but he can’t promise! Bet he has some excuse...

NARCISSA MALFOY
No, he means it! Will you please swear it? Will you make the Unbreakable Vow?

BELLATRIX LESTRANGE
What? You are asking him to vow on his own lives? You know how the vow works, don’t you? If he’ll break it, he’ll die!

Silence. Close up of Narcissa desprate face, then to Bella’s face, and finally, Snape’s face.

SEVERUS SNAPE
Yes, Narcissa, I am prepared to make the Unbreakable Vow.

NARCISSA MALFOY
Thank you, Severus. Come here...

She takes out her wand, and take Snape's hand.

NARCISSA MALFOY
Severus Snape, will you look after my son and try to help him?

SEVERUS SNAPE
I will.

NARCISSA MALFOY
Will you do everything in your power to protect him from any harm?

SEVERUS SNAPE
I will.

NARCISSA MALFOY
And... shall it seems he'll fail... Will you carry on the deed the Dark Lord ordered him to perform?

SEVERUS SNAPE
I will.

A great flaming snake emerges from Narcissa's wand, going around Snape, and straight into the camera. We then see the sky, where a text appears:

Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince.


ALTERNATIVE OPENING

1 EXT. VILLAGE, RAINY AND DARK DAY

A few shots of STREETS with houses. Some of the houses are ruined down. The DARK MARK is visible far in the sky. A few DE’s are visible around the corner, wearing masks and black robes so their face can’t be seen. They run to a house and blast it with a spell.

2 INT. A HOUSE.

DEs are inside, pointing their wand on somewhere in the apartment.

DE1, has a cold and scary voice.
Search the house. Now!

The other run to the rooms. DE1 stays in his place.

RANDOM DE
He’s here, master!

DE1
Good. Bring him to me.

The DEs are returning to the hall, forcing Horace Slughorn to come with them.

DE1
Leave, all of you. Me and him will have a little
chat.

The others leave. DE1 take off his mask. It is Lord Voldemort.

VOLDEMORT
Remember me, Old Sluggy?

Silence. Slughorn is looking scared.

VOLDEMORT
You used to teach me when I was young, remember? I
pretended to respect you. The pathetic part is that
you actually believed it.

Another silence. A close up on Voldemort’s face. Show a quick shot of teenage Voldemort. Slughorn is still looking scared.

VOLDEMORT
But in the end, it was worth to do all this,
remember? You gave me information. Very important
information.

Slughorn is speaking at last.

SLUGHORN
No! Please don’t kill me, I will do anything, I
will...

Voldemort laughs.
VOLDEMORT
Not as brave as the phoenix lot, right? I wondered
why you never helped the Order of the Phoenix. Now I
realise why, you pathetic old man.

Another silence.

VOLDEMORT
Look at you. An old, useless scared man. I still
wonder how could you believe that I admired you.
That someone ever admired you.

Slughorn is still looking scared. His voice his trembeling,

SLUGHORN
What do you want?

VOLDEMORT
Quit your job, Slughorn. Break your contact with
Dumbledore. Never – ever – speak with him again.
And, if you ever think of mentioning our little
chat, when I was sixteen...

Slughorn is trembeling.

VOLDEMORT
You want a little taste of what will happen to you?
Crucio!

Slughorn is screaming, deeply in pain. Voldemort laughs. He raise his wand and Slughorn stops screaming.

VOLDEMORT
That was just the promo, you pathetic old man. You
are very lucky to stay alive. You helped me once.
Lord Voldemort pay back to those who helped him...
But remember, if you ever mention our conversation,
back in my school days...

He leaves the last sentence in the air. There is no need to complete it. Voldemort is leaving the house.

Camera leaves the room. Bright flash. We can see the title over the dark skies:

“HARRY POTTER AND THE HALF BLOOD PRINCE”

3. INT. BURROW, LIVING ROOM

Trio+Ginny are sitting in a room. Ron and Harry are playing wizard chess. Hermione is reading a newspaper. Headline screams: “HARRY POTTER: THE CHOSEN ONE?”

HARRY
All the paper’s full of it. They all think I’m the
chosen one. They see me as some kind of hero. That I
would have to destroy Voldemort in the end.

HERMIONE
They don’t *know* anything – they are just guessing.

RON
Well they are right. You are the chosen one.

GINNY
You have nothing to worry Harry. Dumbledore will
protect you, surely. He won’t leave you alone. He...

A knock on the door. Mrs Weasley, briefly appears, open the door. Dumbledore enters the room.

MOLLY
Hey Albus! What a suprise! Tea?

DUMBLEDORE
No, Molly, thanks. Actually I came to talk with
Harry.

Ginny gives Harry an “I-TOLD-YOU-SO” look. Harry stand up.

DUMBLEDORE
After you.

4. EXT. BURROW GARDEN DAYLIGHT

Harry and Dumbledore walking to the garden. Dumbledore hands is inside a pocket.

DUMBLEDORE
How are you feeling, Harry?

HARRY (LIFELESS VOICE)
Fine.

DUMBLEDORE
You don’t look so. Listen, I know discovering the
prophecy is not easy. To discover you are the one to
destroy Voldemort... but you have to know something.
You’re not alone. You’re with me.

Harry looks at him.

DUMBLEDORE (CONTINUED)
This year, Harry, I am going to prepare you to what
lies ahead. You are going to have a series of
private lessons with me.

HARRY
Private lessons? With you?

DUMBLEDORE
Yes, Harry. Just came to tell you that. I have to
leave now, sorry. Goodbye.

As he leaves, he raise his hand. It is black, burned and dead-looking.

HARRY
Professor! What happened to your hand?

DUMBLEDORE
Not now, Harry. This is a nice tale; I wish to do it
justice. I will tell you someday.

And with that, he leaves.

5. INT. BURROW LIVING ROOM.

Harry re-enters the room.

RON
What did he wanted?

HARRY
I’m going to have private lessons with him this
year. He’s going to prepare me to the battle with
Voldemort.

Ginny gives Harry and “I-TOLD-YOU-SO” look, again. Harry tries to change the subject.

HARRY
Anything interesting in the paper?

HERMIONE
There is a new Minister of Magic. His name is Rufus
Scrimegour.

(We see a picture of his face).

RON
He looks tough.

HERMIONE
He used to catch dark wizards.

Molly Weasley enter the room.

MOLLY
Come on everyobdy! We are going to Diagon Alley!

6. EXT DIAGON ALLEY, SUNNY AFTERNOON.

Wide shot of the place from behind. Trio+Ginny walks down the street. A random kid point his hand on Harry and smile.

HARRY
Again! They all think I’m a kind of hero!

The kid moves, behind him we can see Draco Malfoy running across the street.

RON
Did you saw Malfoy? I wonder what he’s doing...

HARRY
Well, there’s only one way to know.

HERMIONE
Harry, you can’t seriously mean that...

But before she could finish the sentence Harry, Ron and Ginny disappeard. She makes an annoying sound.

HERMIONE (ANNOYED)
Okay, I’m coming.

7. EXT: KNOCTORN ALLEY, SAME AFTERNOON.

Trio+Ginny walk down the street.

HARRY
There he is!

We can see Malfoy talking to Borgin inside a shop.

MALFOY
You’ll know how to fix it then?

BORGIN
I’ll have to see it, I’m afraid.

MALFOY
I got a feeling you don’t understand how serious is this.

Malfoy shows Borgin something on his hand. Borgin flinches.

MALFOY
So... can you fix it?

BORGIN (SCARED)
I’ll do my best.

MALFOY
No. You’ll do much more than you’re best.

And with that, he leaves. Trio+Ginny is shocked.

RON
What the bloody hell was that??

8. EXT A FOREST, DAYTIME.

The Hogwarts express is driving on a bridge.

9. INT. A COMPARTMENT IN THE TRAIN.

Trio is sitting together.

RON
Fishy, isn’t it? This Malfoy thing.

HARRY
Yes. I wonder what he wants to fix. It can’t be
something good.

HERMIONE
Don’t take it too seriously. It may be nothing
serious.

HARRY
But you saw how seriously Borgin took him? I wonder
what Malfoy showed him on his arm...

Little silence.



HARRY
Wait a minute! it was his left arm, wasn’t it? Maybe
it was the Dark Mark! Maybe he replaced his father
as a Death Eater!

HERMIONE
Dunno, Harry. Do you honestly think Voldemort will
let a 16 years old boy in?

Before Harry can answer, Ginny pass by in a corridor.

HERMIONE
Hey, Ginny. Do you want to seat with us?

GINNY
Sorry, I can’t. I have to meet Dean.

She leaves.

HARRY
Dean?

HERMIONE
Dean Thomas. Her boyfriend.

RON
Wait a minute! Dean Thomas is... her boyfriend?

HERMIONE
Yes. Why are you so in shock?

RON
Never liked him.

HERMIONE
Just to remind you, he was a good friend of you for
five years. You simply don’t like that fact that
your sister is going out with people.

Silence. Neville Longbottom enter the compartement.

NEVILLE
Harry, come here please.

Harry walks with him. Neville hand him a letter.

HARRY
It’s an invatition for a lunch with... Professor
Slughorn.

RON
Who’s Professor Slughorn?

10. INT. ANOTHER COMPARTMENT IN THE TRAIN

A few kids is sitting around an old fat man called Horace Slughorn.

SLUGHORN
I am professor Slughorn! I will be a new teacher
this year! Now, do we know everyone?

He turns to the kids. They all looking ashamed and don’t reply.

SLUGHORN
Well, this is Cormac Mclaggen – his uncle holds a
office at the ministry. And Belbi – his uncle
invented the Wolfsbane potion. Neville Longbottom –
His parents were well known aurors before being
tortured to madness by the Death Eatres. And Harry
Potter needs no introducing, of course!

Little Silence. Harry looks un-confident.

SLUGHORN (CONTINUED)
The rumors, my dear boy! The prophecy! The chosen
one! The fight in the Ministry of Magic!

NEVILLE
I was there too. There is no prophecy. The papers
just making out things. As usual.

SLUGHORN
Well, The papers does have an annoying inclination
to make things up... Anyway, Harry, I used to know
your mother. Such an extraordinary witch. So smart
and talented. But she’s dead now... It’s terrible...

11. EXT. HOGWARTS CASTLE, EVENING

A wise shot of the castle.

12. EXT. HOGWARTS CASTLE, MORNING.

Another wide shot.

13. INT. A CLASSROOM, MORNING.

We see the class, and Snape enters it. Class is silence. Some kids are looking in their books.

SNAPE
Put your books away. NOW! I want to talk to you!

HARRY
Where is Professor Slughorn, sir?

SNAPE
Raise your hand, Potter! Professor Slughorn is not
your Defence Against the Dark Arts teacher. I am.

RON
You? But Dumbledore rejected your request for the
post in the last 6 years! What made him change his
mind?

SNAPE
Detention, Weasley. If you ask another question
today it will be a WEEK of detentions. I want to
talk to you.

SNAPE (CONTINUED)
The Dark Arts are many, eternal and ever-changing.
Fighting them is like fighting a many-headed monster
– each time you kill on head, the second one will
attack you, stronger then the previous. Permit me to
say that it is probably the most important class in
this school, especially in this war times.

SNAPE
On those walls

He points at some paintings.

SNAPE (CONTINUED)
you can see a few examples to what the Dark Arts can
do. You can see what happens to those who feel the
Cruciatos Curse

He points on a man who’s in pain.

SNAPE (CONTINUED)
the Dementor’s Kiss

He points to a man with a blank-expression.

SNAPE (CONTINUED)
or the Inferious

Pointing on a picture of a Inferi

SEAMUS
What are the Inferious?

SNAPE
Dead bodies, controlled by a dark spell. The Inferi
have no will of their own; They are like a puppets,
forced to do what the wizard makes them too. Since
they have

Close Up of the Inferious in the picture.

SNAPE (CONTINUED)
no blood to spill nor they have vulnerable points
like a heart or a mind, it is extremely difficult to
kill them. However, they are creatures of the dark,
and they fear light and warm.

Close up of Harry’s face

SNAPE (CONTINUED)
If you ever come face-to-face with one, the best
thing you can do is to light a fire.

A Slytherin KID come running in to class.

BOY
Professor! Sorry to interrupt, but it’s urgent! It’s
Crabbe, Malfoy’s friend! He entered the Broken
Vanishing Cabinet! By mistake, of course, but

SNAPE (INTERRUPTING)
Take me to him.

14. INT. A CLASSROOM

Crabbe is sitting on the floor, confused. Malfoy and the boy enter the class. Snape takes Crabbe in his hand.


SNAPE
Scatter now, everyone! Show’s over!

They all leave. A close up on Malfoy’s face...

15. INT. A CORRIDOR

Trio walks together.

HARRY
A Vanishing Cabinet? What is that?

HERMIONE
There’s supposed to be a pair. You can enter one of
them, and then to get out from the other. Good to
make quick escapes.

RON
That boy... he said it was broken. What does it
mean?

HERMIONE
Well, you can’t use it obviously. You can’t enter.

HARRY
But if you enter the working one...?

HERMIONE
You’ll be lost. Stuck. You’ll have nowhere to go.
That’s probably what happend to Crabbe.

16. INT. A CLASSROOM

Kids are sitting. Slughorn enters the class.

SLUGHORN
Hello everybody! My name is Professor Slughorn and I
will be your new Potions teacher! Get out your
books, everybody...

They all do so. Harry looks confused.

HARRY
Professor, I’m sorry. My book’s gone.

SLUGHORN
You can take one of these for today. They are all
second-handed, but still...

Harry takes a second-handed book.

SLUGHORN
Well, we have a marvalous lesson today, and to
celebrate our first lesson, I decided to give a
special prize to the one who will give me the best
potion today! Well, the prize is... THIS!

He takes out the bottle of Felix Felicis.

SLUGHORN
Know what is is? Yes, miss Granger?

HERMIONE
It is Felix Felicis! It gives the drinker luck!

SLUGHORN
Exactly! This bottle is enough for 12 hours of luck!
Once you’ve taken it, everything will go right to
you! Nice prize, isn’t it?

Class nod.

SLUGHORN (CONTINUED)
Well, how can you win it? Open page 6 in your books.
You need to make a ‘Drought Of Living Death’ until
the end of the lesson. The one with the best potion
will be the winner!

Everyone is looking at their books.

HARRY (TO RON AND HERMIONE)
Look at that! The previous owner of this book has
written all over the page! I can’t read it!

17. INT. A CLASSROOM (LATER)

A shot of the class working.

HERMIONE
What are you doing, Harry? You are adding a
wormwood! It’s not in the book!

HARRY
Maybe, but the previous owner added it to the list
in his handwrite! Well, it suppose to be blue now...
look at that!

Harry’s potion is turning blue.

HARRY
Well, now, stir it clockwise...

HERMIONE
It is not clockwise, Harry! It is against clockwise!

HARRY
But the previous owner say it is clockwise... look,
my potion looks exactly like the one in the picture!

SLUGHORN
Time’s up! Let’s see what you have to show me!

18. INT A CLASSROOM (LATER)

Slughorn is getting to Harry’s table.

SLUGHORN
Wow! Look at that everyone! The clear winner! Very
good, Harry, very good... Here is your prize – Felix
Felicis. You deserve it. Use it wisely!

19. INT. A CORRIDOR.

HARRY
Look at that book! The previous owner has corrected
nearly every potion in this book!

RON
Who is the previous owner? Perhaps he has written
his name on it!

HARRY
Well... Here!

A close up on a page... Harry is reading:
“The book is the property of The Half-Blood Prince”

RON
The Half-Blood Prince? Who is that?

HARRY
Dunno...

20. INT. DUMBLEDORE’S OFFICE

Harry enter the office. Dumbledore is sitting there.

DUMBLEDORE
Good evening, Harry. Sit down.

Harry is sitting down. The Pensieve is on the table

DUMBLEDORE
Now that you know about the prophecy, I think it’s
time for me to share some information with you
About Voldemort.

HARRY
What information?

DUMBLEDORE
We need to learn about him as much as possible. But
there is another reason... these lessons have
another and much greater reason.

Harry looks confused.

DUMBLEDORE
I can’t tell you now. First of all... you must know
some things. You remember the pensieve, I guess?

Harry nods.

DUMBLEDORE
I got something I want to show you. After you,
Harry.

Harry touches the pensieve and enter.

21. INT. A DARK CAVE

Harry and Dumbledore walk together in a dark place. We can see two kids from a distance: One is the black-haired young Tom Riddle, the other is the red-heared Amy Benson.

AMY
Where are you taking me, Tom?

TOM
That’s a suprise.

Amy looks at him, charmed. He just smiles gently.

They reach the big, black lake.

AMY
This is a scary place, Tom! What do you want to show
me? What if we’ll lose our way out?

TOM
You don’t need to worry about that.

AMY
Why not?

TOM
Because you won’t get out of here. Never!

22. INT. DUMBLEDORE’S OFFICE

A quick cut, and we’re back in Dumbledore’s office.

HARRY
What was that?

DUMBLEDORE
As you may have guessed, that was a lonely orphan
boy called Tom Riddle.

HARRY
The teenage Voldemort.

DUMBLEDORE
Indeed. The girl with him is another girl from his
orphanage.

HARRY
What... what he was doing?

DUMBLEDORE
At that point, Tom Riddle dosen’t known that he’s a
wizard. But it seemes he has learned to have certain
controls of his powers. He knew he has powers,
though he can’t named them as ‘magic’.

DUMBLEDORE (CONTINUED)
Tom Riddle was a young sadistic boy. In the scene we
just watched, Riddle was taking a poor girl into a
cave to torture her. She survived, but the other
kids said she never came back to herself.

Harry scans the room, and he finds a ring on the desk.

HARRY
That ring. It has the symbol of Slytherin on it.

DUMBELDORE
Yes Harry. You can guess who was her previous owner.

HARRY
Slytherin himself?

DUMBLEODRE
Actually, it was Voldemort. That ring has passed in
his family for generations.

HARRY
Then why do you have it?

DUMBLEDORE
One day you will know.

Harry understand this is the end of the conversation and leaves.

23. EXT. HOGWARTS CASTLE
Another wide shot of the castle, from different angle.

24. INT. A CORRIDOR.
Harry and Ron walking in a corridor. The boys are walking through a secret passage behind a door, and find Ginny and Dean snogging.
Music begins. A close-up on Harry’s face, then on Ginny and Dean, and then again on Harry’s face – he’s looking shocked and strange.

RON
Hello!

Ginny and Dean break apart.

DEAN
Sorry, I’ll just go...

RON
Oh, didn’t meant to interrupt you, you seemed very
busy...

GINNY
What’s your point?

RON
My point? I just found my sister snogging in
public! So everyone can see, so everyone will think
you are a...

GINNY
Everyone? What are you talking about? This was a
deserted corridor until you came in! What is your
problem?

RON
I don’t want people to think you are a...

GINNY
Oh, I got it! You are jealous. Just becasue you
never kissed anyone in your life – well, unless you
count our Auntie Muriel! It’s pathetic!

A little silence. At this point, a close-up on Harry confused face, and then a close-up on Dean, who is watching Harry confused face with a strange expression, who seem to understand...

RON
This is a lie! Just because I don’t do it in public,
and...

GINNY
I would advise you to stop here, you’re just
embarrassing yourself! Harry kissed Cho, Hermione
kissed Victor Krum, It’s just you acting like it is
disgusting!

She and Dean walk away, leaving an angry Ron and a confused harry alone.

25. INT. BEDROOM, NIGHTIME.

A shot Harry is lying in his bed, still awake, with the same confused expression...

26. EXT. HOGWARTS SUNNY DAY

Trio+Ginny is walking together. Ron and Ginny refuse to look at each other.

HERMIONE
Oh, will you two stop it? It’s getting really
annoying.

GINNY
He started. He’s just jealous.

HERMIONE looks desperate. As the walk they bump into RUFUS SCRIMEGOUR, the minister of magic.

HARRY
Sorry.

He realise who he bumped into, and stop.

SCRIMEGOUR
Oh, it’s okay. Will you come with me to a little
tour, Harry?

HARRY hasitates but walks with him.

27. EXT. HOGWARTS GROUNDS, LATER. SUNNY DAY.

Harry and RUFUS SCRIMEGOUR are walking together.

SCRIMEGOUR
I wanted to talk with you for a long time. You knew
that?

HARRY
No, minister.

SCRIMEGOUR
How much I tried to convince Dumbledore, but he
won’t let me. I gave up. But now I just bumped into
you!

HARRY
But why you wanted to talk with me, minister?

SCRIMEGOUR
We are in dark times, Harry. We live in a constant
fear. You can’t trust anybody. Every day more people
die. We all know we can be the next.

Harry nods, don’t understand where is Scrimegour leading to.

SCRIMEGOUR (CONTINUED)
In such dark times, people would like to think the
ministry is doing something. That we are winning.
Raising the moral is important.

You, Harry... You give people hope. The idea that
there is someone out there, who can, who HAVE to
destroy You-Know-Who... well, naturally it’s giving
people hope. I think that in such dark times, you
should... side the ministry.

HARRY
What do you mean?

SCRIMEGOUR
Nothing too annoying, I promise. For example, if you
were seen walking in and out from the ministry... it
would give the right impression. If you’ll say in
the paper that the ministry is doing a wonderful
job, then

HARRY
But you’re not doing a wonderful job.

SCRIMEGOUR
Maybe. But sometimes lying is necessary, to raise
people moral.

HARRY
So basiclly, you want me to lie to the public and to
support the minitry. I still remember last year,
minister.

Harry shows the scars on his hand. You can still see the word: LIAR in there.

HARRY
Last year, when the ministry said I was a liar,
tried to throw me out from the magical society, I
don’t remember you bumping into my defence. I won’t
lie to the world. I won’t support a organization who
did everything he can to throw me out from the
magical society. To make my life a living hell.

SCRIMEGOUR
I knew you may reject. Dumbledore done a very good
job on you.

HARRY
Dumbledore is smarter then all the ministry
together. You seem cleverer then Fudge, the last
minister, so I think you can learn from his
mistakes. He tried to interfere at Hogwarts; You may
notice he’s not a minister anymore, but Dumbledore
is still the headmaster.

SCRIMEGOUR
I see... You are Dumbledore’s man through and
through, right Potter?

HARRY
Yes I am. Glad I clarified it.

With that, he leaves.

28, INT. A CORRIDOR

Harry walks in a corridor, alone. He hear voice from one of the classrooms near.

SNAPE (OFF-SCREEN)
Answer me, Draco! Do you have a plan how to do it?

Harry stops and listen.

29. INT. A CLASSROOM

DRACO
Yes, I have.

SNAPE
And? What is it?

DRACO
It’s none of your business! I’m not a fool, you
know.

SNAPE
A fool? I’m trying to help you, Draco.

DRACO
Help me? You want to stop me, to make me fail, so
you can do it instead and to have all the glory! But
no, He told me to do it, and I will!

SNAPE
Draco, I am trying to help you. I talked to your
mother, she asked me to help you. I made the
Unbreakable Vow, Draco...

DRACO
I don’t care, I don’t need help! I don’t care what
my mother told you, she thinks I am only a child and
I will never succeed! But I will prove that she is
wrong. I will do it. I’m going to be the Dark Lord’s
favourite Death Eater. I don’t need help from you!

And he burst out of the room from the other door. Harry is looking shocked.

30. INT STUDY HALL

Trio are sitting and talking.

HEMIONE
Harry, I don’t think Snape really tried to help
Malfoy. We know he spy on the Death Eaters; I think
he simply pretended to offer him help, So Malfoy
will tell him his plan and then Dumbledore can act
to prevent it.

HARRY
But that’s proves that Malfoy is up to something,
and that he is working for Voldemort.

HERMIONE
Yes, you’re right on this one.

HARRY
So what is he doing? Perhaps Voldemort needs someone
in Hogwarts. It is easier to use someone that is
allowed to be there, then to try and enter some spy.

RON
Maybe.

HARRY (CONTINUED)
We need to follow him somehow. I know!

31. INT. COMMON ROOM

A close up on the Maurdars Map. Hundreds of dots are moving.

HARRY
See! I can see where Malfoy is! Look, he is in the
seventh floor... he walks across it... Now he’s...

Harry stops. Malfoy simply disappeard from the map.

HERMIONE
He disappeard.

RON
But how?

HERMIONE
The seventh floor. What is in the seventh floor?

HARRY
The room of requierment.

32. INT. SEVENTH FLOOR

Trio runs in the corridor. Harry stand in front of a door.

HARRY
Well, let me try it.

HARRY (TO THE DOOR)
I need to see what Draco Malfoy is doing inside you.

Nothing happens.

HARRY
I’ll try again. I need you to become the place you
become for Draco Malfoy.

Nothing happens.

HERMIONE
It’s not working.

HARRY
But why?

HERMIONE
Because you don’t know what you wish to find behind
that door. The Room of Requierment become what you
want it to; If you don’t know what you want to see
behind you can’t open it.

33. INT DUMBLEDORE’S OFFICE

Harry enter the room.

DUMBLEDORE
I’ve been expecting you. Sit down.

Harry sits down.

DUMBLEDORE
Today I got two memories to show you. The second one
is, I believe, the most important one I collected so
far. Let’s see the first memory, shall we?

They both stand up.

DUMBLEDORE
After you, Harry.

Harry touch the pensieve and dive into it.

34. INT. FANCY ROOM

We see a fancy room with an old fat lady. Tom Riddle enter the room.

RIDDLE
Hello Mrs Smith.

MRS SMITH
Hello Tom! Sit down, please.

RIDDLE sit down.

MRS SMITH
Coffee?

RIDDLE
No need. Thank you.

MRS SMITH
Thank you for coming here. I got something really
special to show you.

She points on a shelf. Two boxes are in it. She takes them.

MRS SMITH
Open it, Tom.

He opens it. Inside we can see a cup, with the letter H on it.

RIDDLE
H. So this cup was...

MRS SMITH
Helga Huffelpuf’s, as you know very well. But this
one here...

She opens the other one. Inside we can see a big locket with the letter S on it.

MRS SMITH
Slytherin’s. My most expensive treasure...

A close up on Riddle’s jealous face. And for a moment, his brown eyes turns red...

35. INT DUMBLEDORE’S OFFICE.

We’re back into the office.

DUMBLEDORE
Two days later Mrs Smith was dead. The cup and the
locket was gone.

HARRY
Voldemort! He killed her and stoled them!

DUMBLEDORE
Indeed. These items may be a key items to our story.
But now, Harry, the second memory...

He takes another memory.

DUMBLEDORE
This memory was given to me by Horace Slughorn. I
think you may find it... unusual. After you.

They enter the pensieve.

36. SLUGHORN’S OFFICE

We see a few kids there, leaving. They all have tags on their sleeves: “THE SLUG CLUB”. One boy stays behind. Tom Riddle.

SLUGHORN
What’s that, boy?

RIDDLE
I want to ask you something.

SLUGHORN
Go on.

RIDDLE
I want to ask you what you know about... Horcruxes.

All of a sudden, mist appear out of nowhere; We can’t see anything.

SLUGHORN (ECHOING VOICE)
I don’t know anything about Horcruxes, and would’nt
tell you even if I knew! Now get back to bed, and
don’t ever mention them again!!

37. DUMBLEDORE’S OFFICE

We fade back to Dumbledore’s office.

HARRY
That’s it? What’s so important about it?

DUMLEDORE
What you just saw is only half-true. The mist is
just a trap Slughorn made. He never actually said
those words, what you heard in the mist...

HARRY
Then what actually happend?

DUMBLEDORE
This is your mission, Harry. You’ll need to bring me
the real memory. Only then we will know... Voldemort
greatest and darkest secret.

38 EXT. GROUNDS. SNOW

A very snowy day.

49. INT THE GREAT HALL

The hall is decorated for christmas.

40. SLUGHORN’S OFFICE

Harry enter the room. Slughorn’s inside.

SLUGHORN
Hello Harry! I was looking for you. Next Saturday
I’m doing a party, you see. Can you be there?

HARRY
Sorry, Professor. I have... Quidditch practice.

SLUGHORN
Oh, unlucky. Anyway, take this bottle

Slughorn hands Harry a bottle of wine.

SLUGHORN
I was planning to give this to Dumbledore, as a
christmas present... Well he can’t miss what he
never had!

HARRY
Actually, I wanted to ask you something else. I
wonder what you know... about Horcruxes.

Slughorn’s face froze immidietly. He looks shocked.

SLUGHORN (SHOCKED)
Dumbledore. He showed you that memory. Right?

HARRY
Yes he did, but

SLUGHORN
Then you should know I don’t know nothing about
Horcruxes.

HARRY
But I though maybe there is a bit more to this
memory...

SLUGHORN
You though? Then you’re wrong, boy. WRONG!

41. INT. STUDY HALL

Trio are sitting together in the study hall, doing homework. Ron is staring at a long essay.

RON
I hate Snape! It’s christmas vacation! But he gave
us loads of homework! Who cares about poison anyway?

HERMIONE (SACRCATIC)
Pity your stupid Half-Blood Prince can’t help you
now.

HARRY
Wait a minute. The Prince did wrote something...
“Simply slip a Bezoar to their throat”.

RON
A bezoar?

HERMIONE
A stone that protects you from most of the poisons.
You got one in your potion-making set.

RON
You mean... all that (He points at the essay) was
pointless? All I need is only... a stone?


HERMIONE
Well... You can put it this way.

Harry takes a stone from his set, and slowly puts it in his pocket...

42. TOWER DORMITORY. MORNING

Ron is in his bed, sleeping. We see a lot of presents near his bed. 4 boys are around him, speaking quietly.

HARRY
Ready? 1, 2, 3...

Together the four of them sing “Happy Birthday To You” (perhaps with some magical lyrics?). Ron is waking up, confused.

HARRY
Happy Birthday, mate!

RON
Oh...

He’s eyes meet the presents near his bed and he grins.

RON
Thank you!

HARRY
Let’s party!

----------------------
Here's my go on King's Cross, beggining with Arry Grotter version. I didn't include much of the conversation becuase it is too damn long, but the important stuff is in, I think. I'm not so good in descriptions so they are kind of lousy (or else, copied from the book).

---------------------

The camera zooms in on Harry’s head, lying face down. And…

…the scene fades. Harry is still lying in the same position and place. Slowly Harry wakes up.

The surrounds are cloudy and misty. Harry moves nothing but his eyes, lying their gracefully.

He reaches out an arm to feel the mist he is lying on. He pushes it, it springs back a little. He suddenly notices his arm is bare and looks at the rest of his body, taken a back. Suddenly robes materialize on him out of nowhere.

He decides to stand up. The place still looks like a cloud, but as he finally is on his feet, a room start to form.

A wide-open space reveals itself, bright and clean, a hall larger by far than the Great Hall, with that clear domed glass ceiling. It is quite empty. Suddenly Harry hears a baby crying. It sounds distorted and unnatural. He slowly approach the source of the noise.

It has the form of a small, naked child, curled on the ground, its skin raw and rough, flayed-looking, and it lay shuddering under a seat where it had been left, unwanted, stuffed out of sight, struggling for breath. Harry gets near it, afraid to touch, and then -

ALBUS DUMBLEDORE
You cannot help it.

Harry jumps, suprised. Albus Dumbledore approaches him, his hand healthy again, a big smile on his face.

HARRY POTTER
But... you're dead.

ALBUS DUMBLEDORE
Yes, I am dead.

HARRY POTTER
So... am I dead too?

ALBUS DUMBLEDORE
This is the question, isn't it? On the whole, I think no.

Harry looks astonished.

HARRY POTTER
But I was hit by a killing curse. I should have died.

ALBUS DUMBLEDORE
You should have died, yes. However, it appears that there are... special circumstances that kept you alive.

HARRY POTTER
What are they?

ALBUS DUMBLEDORE
But you already know, don't you? Think about what Voldemort done, in a deserted muggle graveyard, three years ago.

HARRY POTTER
He took my blood.

ALBUS DUMBLEDORE
Precisely! Your blood in his veins, Harry, Lily protection inside both of you! While this protection lives inside his body, you cannot die. He tethered you to live while he lives!

HARRY POTTER
I live... while he lives? But then, the Horcrux inside me - how we could get rid of it, if I can't die?

ALBUS DUMBLEDORE
He already took care of it. The Horcrux inside you was never protected, Harry, so he wasn't protected - and he was destroyed when you was hit by a killing curse.

Harry looks relieved.

HARRY POTTER
Where are we?

ALBUS DUMBLEDORE
Good gracious, I have no idea. I was about to ask you. This is, as they say - your party. Where do you think we are?

HARRY POTTER
It looks like... King's Cross station, only much cleaner, and it's empty, and there's no trains, as far as I can see.

A moment of hesitation, and then...

HARRY POTTER
I'm not dead, you say? Then I have to go back, do I?

ALBUS DUMBLEDORE
This is your choice, Harry. If you want, you can... board a train.

HARRY POTTER
And where it will take me?

ALBUS DUMBLEDORE
On.

HARRY POTTER
But... you want me to go back, don't you?

ALBUS DUMBLEDORE
I think that if you go back, there is a chance Lord Voldemort will be finished for good. I cannot promise it, but I know this, Harry; If you go back, he has much more to fear about coming back here then you have.

ALBUS DUMBLEDORE (Continued)
By returning, you may ensure that fewer souls are maimed, fewer families are torn apart. If that seems to you a worthy goal, they we saw good-bye for the present.

Harry nods.

HARRY POTTER
Tell me one last thing. Is it real, or is it happening inside my head?

ALBUS DUMBLEDORE
Of course it is happening inside your head, Harry, but why on earth should that mean it is not real?

-------------------

That's it, sorry for the long post.

ArryGrotter October 6th, 2007 12:48 am

Re: Fan Scripts: Remake Harry Potter
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by Blast_ended (Post 4801507)
That's it, sorry for the long post.

:lol:They have to be long, don't worry.

I just came up with an idea for the PS classes:

PS: Classes (The Potions Master)Ten 11-year-old Gryffindors look through telescopes: Harry, Ron, Hermione, Neville, Seamus, Dean, Parvati Patil, Lavender Brown and two other girls. The Astronomy Professor, Aurora Sinistra overlooks them. The camera pans and fades to…

…Professor Pomona Sprout who is showing the Gryffindor first years and 10 other 11-year-olds (Hufflepuffs: Ernie MacMillian, Justin Finch-Fletchley, Hannah Abbot, Susan Bones, Wayne Hopkins, Megan Jones, 2 extra boys and 2 extra girls) a magical plant. Again, the camera pans and fades to…

…Professor Cuthbert Binns, a ghost, who is droning on and on. Every one of the Gryffindor first years are bored, except Hermione, who is listening to every word. Once again, the camera pans and fades to…

…Professor Filius Flitwick, an incredibly short man, is taking the roll of his first year Gryffindor class.

FILIUS FLITWICK
Harry Potter

…he says in an ordinary voice, then suddenly looks up at Harry and topples out of sight. The camera pans and fades, again, to…

…Professor Minerva McGonagall is lecturing her class of Gryffindor first years.

MINERVA MCGONAGALL
Transfiguration is some of the most complex and dangerous magic you will learn at Hogwarts. Anyone messing around in my class will leave and not come back. You have been warned.

And she swiftly turns her desk into a pig and back again. Everyone one in the class looks at each other, amazed. But the camera pans and fades to…

…Professor Quirenius Quirrell is stuttering to his class of first year Gryffindors, turban still on.

QUIRENIUS QUIRRELL
M-My tur-turban was a tha-ank-ank-you gift for-or warding off the-the trouble-le-lesome Infe-fe-feri.

Quirrell looks down at his notes.

SEAMUS FINNIGAN
And how did you get rid of the zombie?

Quirrell seems to be in a panic.

QUIRENIUS QUIRREL
It’s – It’s – It’s a love-lovely d-d-day today.

For the last time, the camera pans and fades to…

…pickled animals in jars on shelves.
Then it would have been Snape's class, but that's a long scene, so I'll wait till I get to it.

Phrozenone October 6th, 2007 3:16 pm

Re: Fan Scripts: Remake Harry Potter
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by Blast_ended (Post 4801507)
Phrozenone, you write the scenes nicely but some of the scenes you included are ABOLUTELY POINTLESS. Why bother with Igor Karkaroff? He has nothing, absolutely nothing, to do with the plot, it is just a waste of screen time in my opinion. I would have include Spinner's End instead, or write a more relevant scene.

The Dursleys - the scene is much TOO LONG, and include some absolutely pointless pieces of dialog. For example, I would have cut Kreacher and Grimmauld Place all together... and Dumbledore talking at the end is too long.

Later, why bother with OWLs results? They have nothing to do with the plot of the book. I would also cut both Bill & Fleur, but this is a much harder choice. Again, CUT KARKAROFF, his mentions is pointless.

I would cut Quidditch, cut the Madam Malkin shop scene, and as much as I like her - cut Luna Lovegood too. She'll come back in DH.

Thanks and yeah I know alot of it is pointless LOL but like I said this is an old one where I'm going to do ALOT of rewrites (This was before the Order movie came out and DH so I didn't know anything....you'll notice I cut the Room of Requirement scene because I didn't think it was important)

I think the reason I put Karkorofff in this was because I wanted to have Voldemort in this one atleast once, but your solution of having Slughorn was a very good idea. Kudos! :tu: Like I said I included O.W.L. results because I thought they'd probably have it more in the previous movie but alas I was wrong.

And I agree about Fluer and Bill. Actually you won't be seeing Fluer in this one and I have another draft of the script where I cut them out all together so I hear ya man. I agree the Dursleys scene is long now that I look at it and trust me it was MUCH shorter when I first wrote it, but once I realized how funny it was I added in more 'funny' (Oh yeah and like I said I didn't know how Kreacher and Grimmauld Place was going to effect the series when I wrote this so I included them just in case :))

Quote:

Originally Posted by ArryGrotter (Post 4799037)
It's REALLY great to see someone else's script. Are you ready for some constructive criticism?

Spoiler: show
I think that your scenes are too cutty. Meaning that they suddenly end, and then they suddenly start somewhere else, and only if you read the book would you know how they got there. That's all for now.


You can give me criticism too.

:tu:

I hear ya and so far I don't have anymore to add to your script that hasn't been said already (about it being a little long in certain spots, but alas I have that same problem sometimes lol) but keep it up. Trust me I have 4 drafts of HPB...each VERY different because there's always something you can do different.

But alas here is the next part to my script. Let me know what you guys think ;)

INT-POTIONS CLASSROOM-EVENING

The scene cuts to Slughorn pacing in front of the class.

SLUGHORN
Now then! Scales out, everyone, and potion kits, and don’t forget your copies of Advanced Potion Making (Harry raises his hand) Yes Harry?

HARRY
I haven’t got a book or scale or anything…nor’s Ron…we didn’t realize we’d be able to do the N.E.W.T., you see…

SLUGHORN
Oh yes, Professor McGonagall mentioned this to me. Not to worry, you can use ingrediants from the store cupboard today.

Harry and Ron walk up to the cupboard to collect their things while Slughorn continues to talk

SLUGHORN
Now, I’ve prepared a few potions here for you to look at, just out of interest, you know. These are the kind of things you ought to be able to make after completing your N.E.W.T.s. (He points at the first one.) Can anyone tell me what this one is? (Hermione raises her hand.) Yes, dear?

HERMIONE
It’s Veritaserum, a colorless, odorless potion that forces the drinker to tell the truth.

SLUGHORN
Very good! Now can anyone tell me what this one…(Hermione raises her hand again as Harry and Ron take their seats with their materials.)

HERMIONE
It’s Polyjuice Potion, sir.

SLUGHORN

Quite right! May I ask your name, my dear?

HERMIONE
Hermione Granger, sir.

Harry and Ron both walk back to their seats and sit down

SLUGHORN
Granger? Can you possibly be related to Hector Dagworth-Granger, who founded the Most Extraordinary Society of Potioneeers?

HERMIONE
No sir, I’m Muggle born.

SLUGHORN
Oho! I’m assuming this is the very friend of whom you spoke about that is the best of your year, Harry?

HARRY
Yes, sir.
(He looks at Hermione as she smiles embarresingly)

SLUGHORN
Lovely, I say Twenty Points for Gryffindor! And now, it is time for us to start work.

NEVILLE
Sir, you haven’t told us what’s in this one!

SLUGHORN
Oh yes, well that one is a most curious potion called Felix Felicis. I take it that you know what Felix Felicis does, Miss Granger?

HERMIONE
It’s liquid luck. it makes you lucky.
(Everyone in the class murmers with excitement.)

SLUGHORN
Quite right. Its desperately tricky to make, and disatrous to get wrong. However, if brewed correctly, as this has been, you will find that all your endeavors tend to succed…at least until the effects wear off.

DEAN
Why don’t people drink it all the time, sir?

SLUGHORN
Because if taken in excess, it causes giddiness, recklessness, and dangerous overconfidence. Too much of a good thing, you know.

SEAMUS
Have you ever taken it, sir?

SLUGHORN
Twice in my life. Now, one tiny bottle of Felix Felicis is the prize I’m giving away at the end of this lesson. Enough for twelve hours luck! Now turn to page ten of Advanced Potions Making and you will attemp to make a decent Draught of Living Death.

The scene cuts to everyone rushing to do the spell. The camera goes over Harry’s shoulder where there are notes written by the previous owner on the side of the actual curse. His finger goes over the written notes.

HARRY
Strange…I wonder.

He proceeds to do what the person wrote and Hermione looks at him in anger when his potion seems to be coming furthur along than hers.

HERMIONE
How are you doing that?

HARRY
Add a clockwise stir…

HERMIONE
No, the book says counterclockwise!

SLUGHORN
And times up!
(He starts to walk around the room looking at the potion and stops at Harry) The clear winner. Excellent, Harry. It is clear you’ve inherited your mother’s talent. Here you are then, one bottle of Felix Felices.

Harry smiles and Hermione sends an angry glare at him as the scene fades to…

INT. OUTSIDE OF SLUGHORN CLASS-EVENING

The scene cuts to them leaving class and Hermione running up to Harry.

HERMIONE
How did you do that?

HARRY
Good luck, I suppose. What is it? You think I cheated?

HERMIONE
Well it wasn’t exactly your own work, was it?

RON
He only followed different instructions to ours.

HARRY
Yeah, I just tried a few tips written in the margins!

HERMIONE
We ought to check that there’s nothing odd about it. I mean...
(She pulls out her wand.)

HARRY
Hermione…what…
(She grabs his book and points her wand at it.

HERMIONE
Specialis Revelio!

Nothing happens

HARRY
Finished? Or d’you want to wait and see if it does a few backflips.

HERMIONE
It seems all right.

HARRY
Good. Then I’ll have it back.

Harry takes the book and walks off away from them. He looks down at the book and the camera pans to see whats written on it is ‘This Book is the Property of the Half-Blood Prince’. The scene then fades to…

INT-DUMBLEDORE’S OFFICE-NIGHT

Dumbledore is standing next to with his back towards the Penseive and Harry is standing in front of him

DUMBLEDORE
So, Harry. You have been wondering, I am sure, what I have planned for you during these lessons? Well, I have decided that it is time, now that you know what prompted Lord Voldemort to try and kill you fifteen years ago, for you to be given certain information.

HARRY
Sir, does what you’re going to tell me have anything to do with the prophecy?

DUMBLEDORE
It has a great deal to do with the prophecy and I certainly hope that it will help you to survive.

Dumbledore turns around and looks into the Pensieve

DUMBLEDORE
This time, you enter the Pensieve with me…and, even more unusually, with permission.

HARRY
Where are we going sir?

DUMBLEDORE
For a trip down Bob Ogdens memory lane...

He takes out a bottle and pours the memory into the Pensieve and ther camera zooms in on his blackened hand as he pours.

HARRY
Sir...how did you injure your….

DUMBLEDORE
Now is not the moment for the story Harry, now, after you.

Harry walks up to the Pensive and looks into it. There is a flash and we see him falling into the contents and he lands near a man wearing thick glasses. Dumbledore lands beside him.

EXT. LITTLE HANGLETON-DAY

The man starts to walk away and Harry and Dumbledore follow him. The man walks up to an old house where a dead snake is nailed to the door. Morfin drops from the nearest tree and lands behind the man startling him. *Parseltongue is italicized*

MORFIN
You’re not welcome

ODGEN
Um…good morning…I’m from the Ministry of Magic

MORFIN
You’re not welcome!

DUMBLEDORE
You understand him, I’m sure, Harry?

HARRY
Yes of course, oh, he’s speaking Parseltongue?

Morfin has a knife in one hand and a wand in another. He rushes to attack Ogden when a man appears from inside the house.

GAUNT
Morfin!
(Morfin stops and stares at Gaunt)
Ministry, is it?

ODGEN
Co…correct. It is your son I’m here to see, Mr. Gaunt.

GAUNT
Are you pure-blood?

OGDEN
That’s neither here nor there!

GAUNT
Get in the house, don’t argue.

Morfin looks at Ogden and proceeds to enter the house.

INT. HOUSE OF GAUNT-LIVING ROOM-DAY

The scene cuts to them inside the cottage where we see a thin girl standing behind the stove.

GAUNT
M’daughter, Merope.

OGDEN
Good morning!

Merope looks at him in fright and turns around and starts shifting through the pots that are behind her.

OGDEN
Yes, well, Mr. Gaunt to get straight to the point, we have reason to believe that your son, Morfin, performed magic in front of a Muggle late last night. (There is a clang and the camera pans to Merope who has just dropped a pot.)

GAUNT
Pick it up! That’s it, grub on the floor like some filthy Muggle, what’s your wand for, you useless sack of muck?

Morfin starts to laugh as Merope pulls out her wand to mend one pot and makes another one explode.

GAUNT
Mend it, you pointless lump, mend it!
(She raises her wand again but Gaunt stands up and points his wand at the pots.)
Reparo!
(The pots repair.)
Lucky the nice man from the Ministry’s here, isn’t it? Perhaps he’ll take you off my hands, perhaps he doesn’t mind dirty Squibs…

OGDEN
Mr. Gaunt, please, the reason for my visit…

GAUNT
I heard you the first time!

OGDEN
Morfin has broken Wizarding law.

GAUNT
He taught a filthy Muggle a lesson, that’s illegal now, is it?

OGDEN
Yes, I’m afraid it is.
(Pulls out a piece of parchment.)

GAUNT
What’s that, then, his sentence?

OGDEN
It is a summons to the Ministry for a hearing…

GAUNT
Summons! Who do you think you are, summoning my son anywhere?

OGDEN
I’m Head of the Magical Law Enforcement Squad.

GAUNT
And you think we’re scum do you!

(He rushes up to Ogden)

GAUNT
Do you know who you’re talking to, you filthy little Mudblood, do you!

(He holds up his finger in Ogdens face showing a black stoned ring he is wearing on his middle finger.)

See this? Know what it is? Centuries its been in our family, that’s how far back we go, and pure blood all the way!

OGDEN
Mr. Gaunt your son has commited…

Gaunt rushed towards Merope and drags her by the gold chain around her neck. She kicks and screams as she is pulled across the floor. Odgen stands there appalled.

GAUNT
See this!

(The camera zooms in on the necklace with an S that Gaunt is holding around Merope’s neck)

Salazar Slytherins! We’re his last living descendants, what do you say to that, eh? So don’t you go talking to us as if we’re dirt on your shoes! Generations of purebloods, wizards all…more than you can say, I don’t doubt!

(He lets her go as there is a rustling outside and we see a shot of the carriage passing by. We see the young man and young lady laughing amongst themselves as they pass by the cottage.)

MORFIN
She likes looking at the Muggle. Always in the garden when he passes. Hanging out of the window waiting for him to rise home….

GAUNT
Is it true. My daughter…pure blooded descendant of Salazar Slytherin…hankering after a filthy, dirt veined Muggle?

Merope is sitting in the corner shaking her head frantically with her hand over her ears.

MORFIN
But I got him father, I got him as he went by and he didn’t look so pretty with hives all over him, did he Merope?

GAUNT
You disgusting little Squib, you filthy little blood traitor!

Gaunt rushed towards her and grabs her by the throat.

HARRY and OGDEN
No!

ODGEN
(Pulls out his wand)
Relashio!

Gaunt is throw backwards and Morfin leaps out of his chair towards Ogden. Ogden runs for his life out of the cabin with Morfin following him and Merope sitting in the corner screaming. Dumbledore puts his hand on Harry’s shoulder.

DUMBLEDORE
I think that will do, Harry.

The scene flashes and Dumbledore and Harry are back in his office.

INT. DUMBLEDORE’S OFFICE-NIGHT

HARRY
What happened to the girl in the cottage?

DUMBLEDORE
Oh, she survived. Ogden apparated back to the Ministry and returned with reinforcements. There was a fight, the ministry won, and Morfin was sentenced to three years in Azkaban. Marvolo, who had injured several Ministry employees, received six months.

HARRY
Marvolo? Do you mean that old man was…?

DUMBLEDORE
Voldemort’s grandfather, yes.

He walks over to sit behind his desk and Harry sits in front of the desk

HARRY
So Merope…sir…does that mean she was…Voldemort’s mother?

DUMBLEDORE
It does and it so happens that we also had a glimpse of Voldemort father.

HARRY
That muggle? The man on the horse?

DUMBLEDORE
Tom Riddle senior, the handsome Muggle for whom Merope Gaunt cherished with a secret, burning passion. So once her brother and father were in jail she was free to leave. My guess is she used a love potion to make Riddle fall for her. Needless to say when her father returned from Azkaban he wasn’t happy, he never spoke her name again. He died shortly afterwards.

HARRY
And Merope? Wasn’t Voldemort brought up in an orphanage?

DUMBLEDORE
Indeed. You see within a few months of their runaway marriage Riddle returned. My guess is Merope loved him so deeply that she thought that, she convinced him to love her, so she lifted the spell. He left her when she was pregnant, never to see her again, and never troubled to discover what became of his son.

HARRY
Sir…is it important to know all this about Voldemort’s past?

DUMBLEDORE
Very important, I think. Well I think that’s enough for today Harry.

Harry turns to leave he notices the gold ring with the cracked, black stone, sitting on one of Dumbledore’s tables.

HARRY
Sir…that ring…you were wearing it when you came to get me from the Dursleys.

DUMBLEDORE
So I was.

HARRY
But isn’t it the same ring Marvolo Gaunt showed Ogden?

DUMBLEDORE
The very same.

HARRY
But how did you…

DUMBLEDORE
Not now Harry. You shall hear the story another time. Goodnight.

Quote:

Originally Posted by ArryGrotter (Post 4800245)
Thanks.

I think I'm too protective of my work. Once I've written it I don't want it to go. But something has to or it will be nearing 4 or 5 hours. I'm fine with 3 hours, but would prefer the shortest with the most in it. It's going to be horrible when I try scripting OotP.
---
I decided to leave the Vanishing Glass for the moment and am now trying to cut the letter arrival scene. It's funny because I told myself that I would have scenes in between them unlike 2001-PS-Film, but I've cut the desruction of Dudley's toy's, I've cut Mrs Figg, I've cut the uniforms and any mention of Dudley's or Harry's schools (should that go back in?).

All together I've cut 3 pages of scenes in between these two.

---
I decided to compare timings with the 2004-PoA script I have in the same format.

By the time 'The Boy Who Lived' is over, Harry's on the Knight Bus.
Harry meets Ron and Hermione the same time he meets the snake.
Dementors are attacking by the time the Petunia and Vernon finish their talk about the letter.

Though, I always think the beginning of the HP films have been rushed
---
On a bright note, I've gone from 26 pages to 18 for up to the first letter.

Well think about it like this. If you never read a Harry Potter book and was just watching the movie, what would bore you out of your mind? Yeah it's tough, but try it. Us as book readers...I mean it's HARD to cut stuff and it took me FOREVER to cut them going to Slughorn's home to fetch him because I thought it was a great scene, but I moved a majority of it to the train and Dumbledore's line about knitting patterns to the Dursley's and viola! You have everything in that scene but without the uneccesary detour.

You should also remember don't try and introduce everything in the first film because you have 6 others to do and for each movie you have to do a reintroduction anyways. Having clues or a shot of something is useful if you must but I remember the couple behind me while watching the first HP movie were bored out of their minds because it started to drag to them (And they wish they would've went to see...what was it..Ghost Ship? lol)

Some of the information can be moved to later in the movie. Space it out so it doesn't feel like "Jeez I've been watching this film for 5 mins and we're still on the same scene" Also you know the end of the story now so choose what characters you want in ur screenplay wisely. You know who's going to play a major part and who doesn't and I would suggest giving their lines to someone who will be more important in the long run.

ArryGrotter October 6th, 2007 9:19 pm

Re: Fan Scripts: Remake Harry Potter
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by Phrozenone (Post 4802214)
Well think about it like this. If you never read a Harry Potter book and was just watching the movie, what would bore you out of your mind? Yeah it's tough, but try it. Us as book readers...I mean it's HARD to cut stuff and it took me FOREVER to cut them going to Slughorn's home to fetch him because I thought it was a great scene, but I moved a majority of it to the train and Dumbledore's line about knitting patterns to the Dursley's and viola! You have everything in that scene but without the uneccesary detour.

You should also remember don't try and introduce everything in the first film because you have 6 others to do and for each movie you have to do a reintroduction anyways. Having clues or a shot of something is useful if you must but I remember the couple behind me while watching the first HP movie were bored out of their minds because it started to drag to them (And they wish they would've went to see...what was it..Ghost Ship? lol)

Some of the information can be moved to later in the movie. Space it out so it doesn't feel like "Jeez I've been watching this film for 5 mins and we're still on the same scene" Also you know the end of the story now so choose what characters you want in ur screenplay wisely. You know who's going to play a major part and who doesn't and I would suggest giving their lines to someone who will be more important in the long run.

I wrote this scene where Harry goes to Mrs. Figg's, get's offered bad cake (just like the book), but when I'd finished I realised that all I needed was a ahort meeting in OotP before the Dementors for Mrs Figg to be established.

Cutting characters? Hmm...

Characters that have been in the story:

Albus Dumbledore - He's staying
Arabella Figg - She was cut (as said above)
Baby Dudley Dursley - He HAS to say Shan't!
Cartoon Voice - Cut (Part of Mrs Figg's)
Cloaked Person 1 - The Potters, that's what I heard...
Cloaked Person 2 - ...Yes, their son, Harry...
Cloaked Person 3 - Cut
Dudley Dursley - Staying
Grunnings Worker 1 - Cut
Grunnings Worker 2 - Cut

Harry Potter - Cut :lol:(j/k)
Ice-Cream Lady - Cut
Minerva McGonagall - Staying
Petunia Dursley - Must Stay
Piers Polkiss - At the moment, he's in
Reptile House Keeper - Cut
Rubeus Hagrid - Staying
Snake - Brazil, here he comes
Sybil Trelawney - The one with the power to vanquish the Dark Lord approahes...
Television Jim - In at the moment
Televison Ted - Going to be a downpour of owls?
Vernon Dursley - Staying
Voldemort - Avada Kedavra!
Young Harry Potter - How did I get my scar?
Zoo Director - Cut

Edit: I forgot the non-speaking roles, like
Baby Harry Potter
and Dudley's gang, which is cut


I DO have a lot of characters don't I: 17! at the moment
---
I just cut out Television Ted since all he had been saying was "Going to be any more showers of owls to night Jim?" and I thought it wasn't nessacary, next on the chopping block would be Piers, but I really want it to be more like the book than 2001-movie, so he's staying, for the moment.

I just cut one of the letter scenes, actually, I don't think I've posted that. I'll do that in a sec.
---
The scene I jumped ahead too:    


  
PS: The Letters from No OneINT. THE CUPBOARD UNDER THE STAIRS – 4 PRIVET DRIVE – EVENING - 24/7/1991

Harry is still lying in the same position, though on the CRAMPED BED that is stuffed in the cupboard. The door opens, Harry turns around it is Vernon. He looks out of place in the DUSTY, SPIDER-FILLED cupboard

HARRY POTTER
Where’s my letter? Who’s writing to me?

VERNON DURSLEY
No one. It was addressed to you by mistake. I have burned it.

HARRY POTTER
It was not a mistake; it had my cupboard on it.

VERNON DURSLEY
SILENCE!

A flew spiders fall off the ceiling.

VERNON DURSLEY
Er – yes, Harry – about this cupboard. Your aunt and I have been thinking … you’re really getting a bit big for it … we think it might be nice if you moved into Dudley’s second bedroom.

HARRY POTTER
Why?

VERNON DURSLEY
Don’t ask questions!

INT. HALL – 4 PRIVET DRIVE – LATE MORNING – 25/7/1991

Vernon is nailing up the mailbox. Harry is walking down the stairs and stops. Vernon addresses Petunia who is offering fruitcake. Neither notices Harry.

VERNON DURSLEY
See, if they can’t deliver them they’ll just give up.

PETUNIA DURSLEY
I’m not sure that’ll work, Vernon.

VERNON DURSLEY
Oh, these people’s minds work in strange ways, Petunia, they’re not like you and me

And he hammers another nail.

INT. KITCHEN – 4 PRIVET DRIVE – NEXT MORNING – 26/7/1991

Petunia opens a new packet of eggs. She cracks one. No yolk. She cracks another. No yolk again. This time she spots a piece of parchment. It’s a letter. She pulls it out, unfolds it, then turns to Vernon, who is reading the newspaper, Dudley and Harry, showing it, frowning. Dudley turns to Harry.

DUDLEY DURSLEY
Who on earth wants to talk to you this badly?

INT. KITCHEN – 4 PRIVET DRIVE – NEXT MORNING – 27/7/1991

Harry looks saddened. Vernon is gleefully spreading marmalade on his toast, sometimes spreading on the newspaper in his excitement.

VERNON DURSLEY
No post on Sundays. No damn letters today…

He raises his knife and smiles. Then frowns. A letter has just hit him in the back of his head. He turns to the fireplace which is now rumbling. Everyone’s attention is on it.

And suddenly 50 letters come bursting through the grate, Harry jumps up to try and catch one but…

VERNON DURSLEY
Out! OUT!
  


---
Quote:

Originally Posted by Phrozenone (Post 4802214)
Well think about it like this. If you never read a Harry Potter book and was just watching the movie, what would bore you out of your mind?

Can I just say something, I went to see PS without reading any of the books and once I had read the books, I wanted more in the movies, but then again, I'd just sat through LotR the week earlier.

I do get what you mean.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Phrozenone (Post 4802214)
But alas here is the next part to my script. Let me know what you guys think ;)

I was just reading the portion after the pensieve and I think it would be better if there were flashbacks, like when he figures who Marvolo is, perhaps to Riddles diary (reintroducing it) and the chamber (TOM MARVOLO RIDDLE >> I AM LORD VOLDEMORT). And even flashbacks to show Tom Riddle Snr. on his horse. I know it was like 2 minutes ago, but you never know who may have forgot.
--
I think this thread should win for 'Longest Posts'

Blast_ended October 7th, 2007 7:27 pm

Re: Fan Scripts: Remake Harry Potter
 
I see no point in showing the Gaunt House scene, other then introducing the ring, which could be introduced in some other way. I would advise you to look at my draft, where I replaced the Gaunt scene with the Cave scene, which has a lot more to do with the plot of the book in my opinion. I think it would be wise to introduce the cave earlier...

ArryGrotter October 9th, 2007 7:50 am

Re: Fan Scripts: Remake Harry Potter
 
I will format this soon, but here it is. Edit: Format done

The part I just wrote:    


  
PS: The Letters from No One Part II
VERNON DURSLEY
Out! OUT!

Vernon grabs Harry around the middle as he tries to grab a letter and shoves him into the hall. Petunia and Dudley have already run for it.

INT. HALL - 4 PRIVET DRIVE - CONTINUOUS - 29/7/1991

Vernon slams the door so that none of the letters, which are still flying around the kitchen, don't reach the other room.

He speaks threatening, as though he is losing it.

VERNON DURSLEY
That does it. We're going away. Just pack some clothes. No arguments!

EXT. RAILVIEW HOTEL - COKEWORTH - EVENING - 29/7/1991

A gloomy-looking hotel. Night. A train goes by on the nearby railway.

Fades to:

EXT. RAILVIEW HOTEL - COKEWORTH - MORNING - 30/7/1991

The same hotel. Morning.

INT. DINING - RAILVIEW HOTEL - COKEWORTH - MORNING - 30/7/1991

The Dursleys and Harry are eating breakfast. The HOTEL OWNER comes over to them (Carrying a LETTER)

HOTEL OWNER
'Scuse me, but is one of you Mr H. Potter?

Both Harry and Vernon look up.

HOTEL OWNER
Only I got about a hundred of these at the front desk.

She holds up the letter. It reads "Mr H. Potter, Room 17, Railview Hotel, Cokeworth". Harry tries to grab it, but his reach is knocked away by Vernon...

VERNON DURSLEY
I'll take them

...as he stands up to get the rest. The Hotel Owner stared.

INT. DURSLEY'S CAR - COAST - LATE AFTERNOON - 30/7/1991

PETUNIA DURSLEY
Wouldn't it be better just to go home?

Vernon ignores her, gets out of the car and locks Petunia, Dudley and Harry in it. THUNDER.

DUDLEY DURSLEY
Daddy's gone mad, hasn't he?

RAINDROPS fall onto the car.

The doors are unlocked and opened as Vernon arrives back.

VERNON DURSLEY
Found the perfect place.

EXT. Coast - Late AFTERNOON - 30/7/1991

Vernon is now holding a LONG THIN PACKAGE. He points to a rock out at sea, hardly visible. Even less visible is a SHACK on top of it.

VERNON DURSLEY
Storm forecast for tonight! And I've been able to lend a boat.

The camera falls down to show a small wooden rowboat.

VERNON DURSLEY
(to Harry) Could do with some of those letters now, eh?
  



A quick note: I am now back at school. Therfore I won't be updating my script as frequently.

---
I'm going to do a big, large post, so are you ready?

Script reports:

Character report:    


  1 EXT. HALL OF PROPHECY
SYBILL TRELAWNEY
VOLDEMORT
SYBILL TRELAWNEY

3 INT. 4 PRIVET DRIVE – MORNING – 1/11/1981
BABY DUDLEY DURSLEY

5 EXT./INT. SURREY – MORNING – 1/11/1981
CLOAKED PERSON 1
CLOAKED PERSON 2

6 INT. 4 PRIVET DRIVE – EVENING – 1/11/1981
PETUNIA DURSLEY
VERNON DURSLEY
TELEVISION – JIM MCGUFFIN
TELEVISION – JIM MCGUFFIN
VERNON DURSLEY
PETUNIA DURSLEY
VERNON DURSLEY
PETUNIA DURSLEY
VERNON DURSLEY
VERNON DURSLEY
PETUNIA DURSLEY
VERNON DURSLEY

8 EXT. 4 PRIVET DRIVE – LATE EVENING – 1-2/11/1981
ALBUS DUMBLEDORE
MINERVA MCGONAGALL
ALBUS DUMBLEDORE
MINERVA MCGONAGALL
ALBUS DUMBLEDORE
MINERVA MCGONAGALL
ALBUS DUMBLEDORE
MINERVA MCGONAGALL
ALBUS DUMBLEDORE
MINERVA MCGONAGALL
MINERVA MCGONAGALL
MINERVA MCGONAGALL
ALBUS DUMBLEDORE
MINERVA MCGONAGALL
MINERVA MCGONAGALL
ALBUS DUMBLEDORE
ALBUS DUMBLEDORE
MINERVA MCGONAGALL
ALBUS DUMBLEDORE
MINERVA MCGONAGALL
ALBUS DUMBLEDORE
MINERVA MCGONAGALL
MINERVA MCGONAGALL
ALBUS DUMBLEDORE
MINERVA MCGONAGALL
ALBUS DUMBLEDORE
MINERVA MCGONAGALL
MINERVA MCGONAGALL
ALBUS DUMBLEDORE
RUBEUS HAGRID
ALBUS DUMBLEDORE
RUBEUS HAGRID
MINERVA MCGONAGALL
ALBUS DUMBLEDORE
MINERVA MCGONAGALL
ALBUS DUMBLEDORE
RUBEUS HAGRID
ALBUS DUMBLEDORE
RUBEUS HAGRID
ALBUS DUMBLEDORE
ALBUS DUMBLEDORE

PETUNIA DURSLEY

9 INT. THE CUPBOARD UNDER THE STAIRS - 4 PRIVET DRIVE – MORNING - 23/6/1991
PETUNIA DURSLEY

10 INT. THE KITCHEN - 4 PRIVET DRIVE – A LITTLE LATER - 23/6/1991
DUDLEY DURSLEY
PETUNIA DURSLEY
DUDLEY DURSLEY
PETUNIA DURSLEY
DUDLEY DURSLEY
PETUNIA DURSLEY
VERNON DURSLEY
PETUNIA DURSLEY
PETUNIA DURSLEY
VERNON DURSLEY
PETUNIA DURSLEY
HARRY POTTER
PETUNIA DURSLEY
HARRY POTTER
PETUNIA DURSLEY
PETUNIA DURSLEY
DUDLEY DURSLEY
PETUNIA DURSLEY
VERNON DURSLEY
HARRY POTTER

15 INT. / EXT. THE DURSLEY’S CAR – SURREY? – MID-MORNING - 23/6/1991
VERNON DURSLEY
HARRY POTTER
VERNON DURSLEY
HARRY POTTER
HARRY POTTER

16 INT. REPTILE HOUSE - THE ZOO – SURREY? – AFTERNOON - 23/6/1991
DUDLEY DURSLEY
DUDLEY DURSLEY
DUDLEY DURSLEY
HARRY POTTER
HARRY POTTER
HARRY POTTER
HARRY POTTER
PIERS POLKISS
DUDLEY DURSLEY
SNAKE

17 INT. THE DURSLEY’S CAR – SURREY – AFTERNOON - 23/6/1991
DUDLEY DURSLEY
PIERS POLKISS
PIERS POLKISS

18 INT. THE CUPBOARD UNDER THE STAIRS – 4 PRIVET DRIVE – LATE AFTERNOON - 23/6/1991
VERNON DURSLEY
YOUNG HARRY POTTER
PETUNIA DURSLEY

19 INT. KITCHEN – 4 PRIVET DRIVE – MORNING - 24/7/1991
VERNON DURSLEY
DUDLEY DURSLEY
VERNON DURSLEY
HARRY POTTER
DUDLEY DURSLEY

20 INT. ENTRANCE – 4 PRIVET DRIVE – CONTINUING - 24/7/1991
VERNON DURSLEY

21 INT. KITCHEN – 4 PRIVET DRIVE – CONTINUING - 24/7/1991
VERNON DURSLEY
DUDLEY DURSLEY
HARRY POTTER
VERNON DURSLEY
HARRY POTTER
PETUNIA DURSLEY
DUDLEY DURSLEY
HARRY POTTER
VERNON DURSLEY
HARRY POTTER
DUDLEY DURSLEY
VERNON DURSLEY

23 INT. KITCHEN – 4 PRIVET DRIVE – MORNING - 24/7/1991
PETUNIA DURSLEY
VERNON DURSLEY
PETUNIA DURSLEY

25 INT. KITCHEN – 4 PRIVET DRIVE – MORNING - 24/7/1991
VERNON DURSLEY
PETUNIA DURSLEY

26 INT. ENTRANCE – 4 PRIVET DRIVE – MORNING - 24/7/1991
VERNON DURSLEY

27 INT. THE CUPBOARD UNDER THE STAIRS – 4 PRIVET DRIVE – EVENING - 24/7/1991
HARRY POTTER
VERNON DURSLEY
HARRY POTTER
VERNON DURSLEY
VERNON DURSLEY
HARRY POTTER
VERNON DURSLEY

28 INT. HALL – 4 PRIVET DRIVE – LATE MORNING – 25/7/1991
VERNON DURSLEY
PETUNIA DURSLEY
VERNON DURSLEY

29 INT. KITCHEN – 4 PRIVET DRIVE – NEXT MORNING – 26/7/1991
DUDLEY DURSLEY

30 INT. KITCHEN – 4 PRIVET DRIVE – NEXT MORNING – 27/7/1991
VERNON DURSLEY
VERNON DURSLEY

31 INT. HALL - 4 PRIVET DRIVE - CONTINUOUS - 29/7/1991
VERNON DURSLEY

34 INT. DINING ROOM - RAILVIEW HOTEL - COKEWORTH - MORNING - 30/7/1991
HOTEL OWNER
HOTEL OWNER
VERNON DURSLEY

35 INT. DURSLEY'S CAR - COAST - LATE AFTERNOON - 30/7/1991
PETUNIA DURSLEY
DUDLEY DURSLEY
VERNON DURSLEY

36 EXT. COAST - LATE AFTERNOON - 30/7/1991
VERNON DURSLEY
VERNON DURSLEY
  



Dialogue report:    


  EXT. HALL OF PROPHECY

SYBILL TRELAWNEY (V.O.)
The one with the power to vanquish the Dark Lord…

VOLDEMORT (V.O.)
Avada Kedavra!

SYBILL TRELAWNEY (V.O.)
…approaches…
3 INT. 4 PRIVET DRIVE – MORNING – 1/11/1981

BABY DUDLEY DURSLEY
Shan't!

5 EXT./INT. SURREY – MORNING – 1/11/1981

CLOAKED PERSON 1
The Potters, that’s right, that’s what I heard…

CLOAKED PERSON 2
…yes, their son, Harry…

6 INT. 4 PRIVET DRIVE – EVENING – 1/11/1981

PETUNIA DURSLEY
Evening.

VERNON DURSLEY
Evening.

TELEVISION – JIM MCGUFFIN (O.S.)
It’s not only the owls that have been acting oddly today.

TELEVISION – JIM MCGUFFIN
Viewers as far apart as Kent, Yorkshire and Dundee have been phoning in to tell me they've had a downpour of shooting stars! Perhaps people have been celebrating Bonfire Night early – it’s not until next week, folks!

VERNON DURSLEY
Er…Petunia.

PETUNIA DURSLEY
Yes?

VERNON DURSLEY
You haven’t heard from you’re your sister lately?

PETUNIA DURSLEY
No. Why?

VERNON DURSLEY
Funny stuff on the news (He motions his hand towards it) Owls, shooting stars, and there were a lot of funny-looking people in town today. I thought, maybe, it was something to do with, you know, her lot.

VERNON DURSLEY
Their son, about Dudley’s age, wouldn't he be, what’s his name again? Howard, isn't it

PETUNIA DURSLEY
(Still making dinner) Harry, nasty common name isn't it?

VERNON DURSLEY
Yes I quite agree.

8 EXT. 4 PRIVET DRIVE – LATE EVENING – 1-2/11/1981

ALBUS DUMBLEDORE
Fancy seeing you here, Professor McGonagall.

MINERVA MCGONAGALL
How did you know it was me?

ALBUS DUMBLEDORE
My dear Professor, I've never seen a cat sit so stiffly.

MINERVA MCGONAGALL
You’d be stiff if you’d been sitting on a brick wall all day.

ALBUS DUMBLEDORE
All day? When you could have been celebrating?

MINERVA MCGONAGALL
(Angrily) Oh yes, everyone’s celebrating, all right. Even the Muggles have noticed something’s going on.

ALBUS DUMBLEDORE
You can’t blame them. We've had precious little to celebrate for eleven years.

MINERVA MCGONAGALL
A fine thing it would be if, on the very day You-Know-Who seems to have disappeared at last, the Muggles found out about us all. (Pause) I suppose he really has gone, Dumbledore?

ALBUS DUMBLEDORE
It certainly seems so.

MINERVA MCGONAGALL
You know what everyone is saying? About why he’s disappeared?

MINERVA MCGONAGALL
What they’re saying is that night You-Know-Who went to Godric's Hollow to find the Potters. The rumour is that Lily and James Potter are… are… that they’re dead.

MINERVA MCGONAGALL
Lily and James, I can’t believe it.

ALBUS DUMBLEDORE
I know, I know.

MINERVA MCGONAGALL
(sniffing) That’s not all. They’re saying he tried to kill their son, Harry. But, he couldn't. (pause) No one knows why, or how, but they’re saying that when he couldn't kill Harry Potter, You-Know-Who’s power somehow broke, and that’s why he’s gone.

MINERVA MCGONAGALL
It’s… it’s true? After all the people he’s killed, he couldn't kill a little boy? But how did Harry survive?

ALBUS DUMBLEDORE
We can only guess, we may never know.

ALBUS DUMBLEDORE
Hagrid’s late. I suppose it was he who told you I’d be here, by the way?

MINERVA MCGONAGALL
Yes. And I don’t suppose you’re going to tell me why you’re here of all places?

ALBUS DUMBLEDORE
I've come to bring Harry to the only family he now has left.

MINERVA MCGONAGALL
You can’t mean the people who live here? You couldn't find any other people who are less like us. Harry Potter come and live here!

ALBUS DUMBLEDORE
It’s the best place for him. His aunt and uncle will be able to explain everything to him when he’s older. I've written them a letter.

MINERVA MCGONAGALL
A letter? Really Dumbledore, you think you can explain all this in a letter?

MINERVA MCGONAGALL
How is the boy getting here, Dumbledore?

ALBUS DUMBLEDORE
Hagrid’s bring him.

MINERVA MCGONAGALL
You think it (Pause) wise to trust Hagrid with something as important as this?

ALBUS DUMBLEDORE
I would trust Hagrid with my life.

MINERVA MCGONAGALL
I’m not saying his heart isn't in the right place but…

MINERVA MCGONAGALL
What was that?

ALBUS DUMBLEDORE
Hagrid. At last. And where did you get that motorbike?

RUBEUS HAGRID
Borrowed it, Professor Dumbledore, sir. Young Sirius Black lent it me. (Pause) I got him sir.

ALBUS DUMBLEDORE
No problems, were there?

RUBEUS HAGRID
No, sir – house was almost destroyed, but I got him out OK.

MINERVA MCGONAGALL
Is that where…?

ALBUS DUMBLEDORE
Yes. He’ll have that scar forever.

MINERVA MCGONAGALL
Couldn't you do something about it, Dumbledore?

ALBUS DUMBLEDORE
Even if I could, I wouldn't. Scars can come in handy. (Pause) Well, we’d better get this over with.

RUBEUS HAGRID
Could I – could I say good-bye to him, sir?

ALBUS DUMBLEDORE
Well, that’s that. We've no business staying here. We may as well go and join the celebrations.

RUBEUS HAGRID
Yeah, I best get this bike away. G’night, Professor McGonagall – Professor Dumbledore, sir.

ALBUS DUMBLEDORE
Professor McGonagall

ALBUS DUMBLEDORE
Good luck, Harry

PETUNIA DURSLEY (O.S.)
Up! Get up! Now!

9 INT. THE CUPBOARD UNDER THE STAIRS - 4 PRIVET DRIVE – MORNING - 23/6/1991

PETUNIA DURSLEY (O.S.)
Get a move on; I want you to look after the bacon. Don’t you dare let it burn, for Duddy's birthday!

10 INT. THE KITCHEN - 4 PRIVET DRIVE – A LITTLE LATER - 23/6/1991

DUDLEY DURSLEY
Thirty-six. That’s two less than last year.

PETUNIA DURSLEY
Darling, you haven’t counted Auntie Marge’s present.

DUDLEY DURSLEY
All right, thirty-seven then.

PETUNIA DURSLEY
And we’ll buy you another two presents while we’re out today. How’s that, popkin? Two more presents.

DUDLEY DURSLEY
So I’ll have thirty … thirty…

PETUNIA DURSLEY
...nine, sweetums

VERNON DURSLEY
Little tyke wants his money’s worth, just like his father. 'Atta boy, Dudley!

PETUNIA DURSLEY
Bad news, Vernon. Mrs Figg's broken her leg. She can’t take him.

PETUNIA DURSLEY
Now what?

VERNON DURSLEY
We could phone Marge.

PETUNIA DURSLEY
Don’t be silly, Vernon, she hates the boy.

HARRY POTTER
You could just leave me here.

PETUNIA DURSLEY
And come back and find the house in ruins?

HARRY POTTER
I won’t blow up the house.

PETUNIA DURSLEY
I suppose we could take him to the zoo …

PETUNIA DURSLEY
Dinky Duddydums, don’t cry.

DUDLEY DURSLEY
I … don’t … want … him … t-t-to come! He always sp-spoils everything!

PETUNIA DURSLEY
They’re here!

VERNON DURSLEY
You've managed to get your way, boy. (pause) But, I’m warning you now (pause) any funny business, anything at all and you’ll be in that cupboard for a month.

HARRY POTTER
I’m not going to do anything, honestly…

15 INT. / EXT. THE DURSLEY’S CAR – SURREY? – MID-MORNING - 23/6/1991

VERNON DURSLEY
…roaring along like maniacs, the young hoodlums.

HARRY POTTER
I had a dream about a motorbike. It was flying.

VERNON DURSLEY
MOTORBIKES DON’T FLY!

HARRY POTTER
I know they don’t.

HARRY POTTER
It was only a dream.

16 INT. REPTILE HOUSE - THE ZOO – SURREY? – AFTERNOON - 23/6/1991

DUDLEY DURSLEY
Make it move.

DUDLEY DURSLEY
Do it again.

DUDLEY DURSLEY
This is boring.

HARRY POTTER
It must be really annoying.

HARRY POTTER
Where do you come from, anyway?

HARRY POTTER
Was it nice there?

HARRY POTTER
Oh, I see...

PIERS POLKISS
DUDLEY! MR DURSLEY! COME AND LOOK AT THIS SNAKE! YOU WON’T BELIEVE WHAT IT’S DOING!

DUDLEY DURSLEY
Out of the way, you.

SNAKE
Brazil, here I come … Thanksss, amigo.

17 INT. THE DURSLEY’S CAR – SURREY – AFTERNOON - 23/6/1991

DUDLEY DURSLEY
Did you see how it nearly bit off by leg? But I shook it off…

PIERS POLKISS
I swear it was trying to squeeze me to death.

PIERS POLKISS
Harry was talking to it, weren't you, Harry?

18 INT. THE CUPBOARD UNDER THE STAIRS – 4 PRIVET DRIVE – LATE AFTERNOON - 23/6/1991

VERNON DURSLEY
Go – cupboard – stay – no meals

YOUNG HARRY POTTER (V.O.)
How did I get my scar?

PETUNIA DURSLEY (V.O.)
In the car crash when your parents died. And don’t ask questions

19 INT. KITCHEN – 4 PRIVET DRIVE – MORNING - 24/7/1991

VERNON DURSLEY
Get the mail, Dudley.

DUDLEY DURSLEY
Make Harry get it.

VERNON DURSLEY
Get the mail, Harry.

HARRY POTTER
Make Dudley get it.

DUDLEY DURSLEY
Poke him with your Smelting stick, Dudley.

20 INT. ENTRANCE – 4 PRIVET DRIVE – CONTINUING - 24/7/1991

VERNON DURSLEY (O.S.)
Hurry up, boy! What are you doing, checking for letter bombs?

21 INT. KITCHEN – 4 PRIVET DRIVE – CONTINUING - 24/7/1991

VERNON DURSLEY
Marge’s ill. (speaking to Petunia) Ate a funny whelk…

DUDLEY DURSLEY
Dad! Dad, Harry’s got something!

HARRY POTTER
That’s MINE!

VERNON DURSLEY
Who’d be writing to you?

HARRY POTTER
P-P-Petunia!

PETUNIA DURSLEY
Vernon! Oh my goodness – Vernon!

DUDLEY DURSLEY
I want to read that letter!

HARRY POTTER
I want to read it, as it’s mine.

VERNON DURSLEY
Get out, both of you

HARRY POTTER
I WANT MY LETTER!

DUDLEY DURSLEY
Let me see it!

VERNON DURSLEY
OUT!

23 INT. KITCHEN – 4 PRIVET DRIVE – MORNING - 24/7/1991

PETUNIA DURSLEY
Vernon, look at the address – how could they possibly know where he sleeps? You don’t think they’re watching the house?

VERNON DURSLEY
Watching – spying – might be following us.

PETUNIA DURSLEY
But what should we do, Vernon? Should we write back? Tell them we don’t want…

25 INT. KITCHEN – 4 PRIVET DRIVE – MORNING - 24/7/1991

VERNON DURSLEY
No. No, we’ll ignore it. If they don’t get an answer … yes, that’s best … we won’t do anything…

PETUNIA DURSLEY
But…

26 INT. ENTRANCE – 4 PRIVET DRIVE – MORNING - 24/7/1991

VERNON DURSLEY (O.S.)
I’m not having one in the house, Petunia! Didn't we swear when we took him in we’d stamp out that dangerous nonsense?

27 INT. THE CUPBOARD UNDER THE STAIRS – 4 PRIVET DRIVE – EVENING - 24/7/1991

HARRY POTTER
Where’s my letter? Who’s writing to me?

VERNON DURSLEY
No one. It was addressed to you by mistake. I have burned it.

HARRY POTTER
It was not a mistake; it had my cupboard on it.

VERNON DURSLEY
SILENCE!

VERNON DURSLEY
Er – yes, Harry – about this cupboard. Your aunt and I have been thinking … you’re really getting a bit big for it … we think it might be nice if you moved into Dudley’s second bedroom.

HARRY POTTER
Why?

VERNON DURSLEY
Don’t ask questions!

28 INT. HALL – 4 PRIVET DRIVE – LATE MORNING – 25/7/1991

VERNON DURSLEY
See, if they can’t deliver them they’ll just give up.

PETUNIA DURSLEY
I’m not sure that’ll work, Vernon.

VERNON DURSLEY
Oh, these people’s minds work in strange ways, Petunia, they’re not like you and me

29 INT. KITCHEN – 4 PRIVET DRIVE – NEXT MORNING – 26/7/1991

DUDLEY DURSLEY
Who on earth wants to talk to you this badly?

30 INT. KITCHEN – 4 PRIVET DRIVE – NEXT MORNING – 27/7/1991

VERNON DURSLEY
No post on Sundays. No damn letters today…

VERNON DURSLEY
Out! OUT!
31 INT. HALL - 4 PRIVET DRIVE - CONTINUOUS - 29/7/1991

VERNON DURSLEY
That does it. We're going away. Just pack some clothes. No arguments!
34 INT. DINING ROOM - RAILVIEW HOTEL - COKEWORTH - MORNING - 30/7/1991

HOTEL OWNER
'Scuse me, but is one of you Mr H. Potter?

HOTEL OWNER
Only I got about a hundred of these at the front desk.

VERNON DURSLEY
I'll take them
35 INT. DURSLEY'S CAR - COAST - LATE AFTERNOON - 30/7/1991

PETUNIA DURSLEY
Wouldn't it be better just to go home?

DUDLEY DURSLEY
Daddy's gone mad, hasn't he?

VERNON DURSLEY
Found the perfect place.
36 EXT. COAST - LATE AFTERNOON - 30/7/1991

VERNON DURSLEY
Storm forecast for tonight! And I've been able to lend a boat.

VERNON DURSLEY
(to Harry) Could do with some of those letters now, eh?
  



Script so far:    


  
PS: Up to The Keeper of the Keys1 - EXT. Hall of Prophecy

A GLASS ORB is ZOOMED IN on. INSIDE THE ORB, GREY CLOUDS form, and a LOUD, HOARSE, HARSH voice is heard:

SYBILL TRELAWNEY (V.O.)
The one with the power to vanquish the Dark Lord…

But the voice is CUT OFF with another voice, HIGH and COLD, and a GREEN LIGHT FILLS THE SCREEN.

VOLDEMORT (V.O.)
Avada Kedavra!

SYBILL TRELAWNEY (V.O.)
…approaches…

And as the CLOUDS CAN BE SEEN AGAIN, the TITLE ‘Harry Potter and the Philosopher’s Stone’ FILLS THE SCREEN.

THE CLOUDS DISAPPEAR and...

2 - EXT. 4 PRIVET DRIVE - MORNING - 1/11/1981

...a SIMPLE SUBURBAN HOUSE can be seen, baked on by the BRIGHT SUN. A CAT walks INTO FRAME and sits on the house’s BRICK FENCE. The title FADES leaving a shot of the house.

CUT TO:

3 - INT. 4 PRIVET DRIVE – MORNING – 1/11/1981

CLOSE UP SHOT of an EXTREMELY BORING TIE. The camera ZOOMS OUT to see the REFLECTION of VERNON DURSLEY, a man in his EARLY 20S, in the KITCHEN MIRROR. The MIRRORED VERSION of Vernon smiles to himself. He picks up his SUITCASE and walks over to his wife, PETUNIA DURSLEY, also in her EARLY 20S. The KISS ON THE CHECK he gives her is VIEWED THROUGH THE MIRROR. Petunia notices the mirror and looks at herself and Vernon through it smiling.

A CLATTER and a SPLATTER…

BABY DUDLEY DURSLEY
Shan't!

1-YEAR-OLD DUDLEY DURSLEY has dropped his BOWL OF CEREAL in protest. Petunia rushes over to help as...

4 - EXT. 4 PRIVET DRIVE - MORNING - 1/11/1981

...the CAMERA FLIES OUT of the room, past the cat still sitting on the brick wall, watch Vernon get into his CAR, past the many OWLS now circulating the sky…

5 - EXT./INT. SURREY – MORNING – 1/11/1981

…and to the odd people DRESSED IN CLOAKS…

CLOAKED PERSON 1
The Potters, that’s right, that’s what I heard…

CLOAKED PERSON 2
…yes, their son, Harry…

…who MOVE to show Vernon in his car, WINDOWS DOWN, face covered with DREAD, SHOCK and FEAR.

CUT TO:

6 - INT. 4 PRIVET DRIVE – EVENING – 1/11/1981

Vernon walks into the KITCHEN. Petunia is busy making DINNER.

PETUNIA DURSLEY
Evening.

Vernon replies, not with Petunia’s PLEASANT tones, but quite EMPTY.

VERNON DURSLEY
Evening.

A voice FADES IN.

TELEVISION – JIM MCGUFFIN (O.S.)
It’s not only the owls that have been acting oddly today.

The TELEVISION has got Vernon’s attention. Its SCREEN fills the screen.

TELEVISION – JIM MCGUFFIN
Viewers as far apart as Kent, Yorkshire and Dundee have been phoning in to tell me they've had a downpour of shooting stars! Perhaps people have been celebrating Bonfire Night early – it’s not until next week, folks!

Finally, he decides to talk to Petunia

VERNON DURSLEY
Er…Petunia.

Petunia doesn't look up, but replies

PETUNIA DURSLEY
Yes?

VERNON DURSLEY
You haven’t heard from you’re your sister lately?

Petunia STOPS EVERYTHING SHE IS DOING and replies RUDELY

PETUNIA DURSLEY
No. Why?

VERNON DURSLEY
Funny stuff on the news
(He motions his hand towards it)
Owls, shooting stars, and there were a lot of funny-looking people in town today. I thought, maybe, it was something to do with, you know, her lot.

Petunia sniffs, IN A WAY OF A REPLY, and continues to prepare dinner. Vernon looks A LITTLE SCARED to say his next sentence.

VERNON DURSLEY
Their son, about Dudley’s age, wouldn't he be, what’s his name again? Howard, isn't it

PETUNIA DURSLEY
(Still making dinner)
Harry, nasty common name isn't it?

Camera starts to ZOOM IN on Vernon, which is horribly UNSETTLED

VERNON DURSLEY
Yes I quite agree.

7 - INT. 4 PRIVET DRIVE – LATE EVENING – 1/11/1981

Vernon is lying in his BED, deep in thought. He shrugs of his thoughts and goes to sleep. The camera PASSES THROUGH THE WINDOW to…

8 - EXT. 4 PRIVET DRIVE – LATE EVENING – 1-2/11/1981

…the cat which is still sitting on the brick fence. It is STIFF and LOOKING IN ONE DIRECTION. The camera then shows that the ROAD is DESERTED. It slowly lays to rests on one of the STREET LAMPS.

POP. Pause. Then a DIFFERENT POP as the lamp EXTINGUISHES. The camera CUTS BACK to the cat, which is now MOVING ITS HEAD. The lamp NEAREST THE BRICK WALL extinguishes with another POP. The camera then CUTS to an ELDERLY MAN (ALBUS DUMBLEDORE) standing in the once deserted street, he is putting away an OBJECT WHICH LOOKS LIKE A CIGARETTE LIGHTER (DELUMINATOR). Dumbledore sits next to the cat on the fence and, AFTER A MOMENT’S PAUSE, turns and speaks to it.

ALBUS DUMBLEDORE
Fancy seeing you here, Professor McGonagall.

THE CAMERA TURNS to see that the cat is TRANSFORMING INTO A WOMAN in her LATE 50S, WEARING A CLOAK.

MINERVA MCGONAGALL
How did you know it was me?

ALBUS DUMBLEDORE
My dear Professor, I've never seen a cat sit so stiffly.

MINERVA MCGONAGALL
You’d be stiff if you’d been sitting on a brick wall all day.

AlBUS DUMBLEDORE
All day? When you could have been celebrating?

MINERVA MCGONAGALL
(Angrily)
Oh yes, everyone’s celebrating, all right. Even the Muggles have noticed something’s going on.
McGonagall points to NUMBER FOUR, PRIVET DRIVE

ALBUS DUMBLEDORE
You can’t blame them. We've had precious little to celebrate for eleven years.

Pause. McGonagall seems angry.

MINERVA MCGONAGALL
A fine thing it would be if, on the very day You-Know-Who seems to have disappeared at last, the Muggles found out about us all.
(Pause)
I suppose he really has gone, Dumbledore?

ALBUS DUMBLEDORE
It certainly seems so.

Pause.

MINERVA MCGONAGALL
You know what everyone is saying? About why he’s disappeared?

Dumbledore says nothing.

MINERVA MCGONAGALL
What they’re saying is that night You-Know-Who went to Godric's Hollow to find the Potters. The rumour is that Lily and James Potter are… are… that they’re dead.

Dumbledore bows his head, McGonagall gasps.

MINERVA MCGONAGALL
Lily and James, I can’t believe it.

Dumbledore pats McGonagall on the shoulder.

ALBUS DUMBLEDORE
I know, I know.

MINERVA MCGONAGALL
(sniffing)
That’s not all. They’re saying he tried to kill their son, Harry. But, he couldn't.
(pause)
No one knows why, or how, but they’re saying that when he couldn't kill Harry Potter, You-Know-Who’s power somehow broke, and that’s why he’s gone.

Dumbledore nods.

MINERVA MCGONAGALL
It’s… it’s true? After all the people he’s killed, he couldn't kill a little boy? But how did Harry survive?

ALBUS DUMBLEDORE
We can only guess, we may never know.

Pause.

ALBUS DUMBLEDORE
Hagrid’s late. I suppose it was he who told you I’d be here, by the way?

MINERVA MCGONAGALL
Yes. And I don’t suppose you’re going to tell me why you’re here of all places?

ALBUS DUMBLEDORE
I've come to bring Harry to the only family he now has left.

McGonagall is confused, but not for long, as Dumbledore looks up at 4 Privet Drive, and McGonagall is suddenly shocked.

MINERVA MCGONAGALL
You can’t mean the people who live here? You couldn't find any other people who are less like us. Harry Potter come and live here!

Dumbledore speaks reasonably calm.

ALBUS DUMBLEDORE
It’s the best place for him. His aunt and uncle will be able to explain everything to him when he’s older. I've written them a letter.

MINERVA MCGONAGALL
A letter? Really Dumbledore, you think you can explain all this in a letter?

Dumbledore still looks at the house and does not reply. Pause.

MINERVA MCGONAGALL
How is the boy getting here, Dumbledore?

ALBUS DUMBLEDORE
Hagrid’s bring him.

MINERVA MCGONAGALL
You think it
(Pause)
wise to trust Hagrid with something as important as this?

Dumbledore turns on McGonagall, but speaks calm.

ALBUS DUMBLEDORE
I would trust Hagrid with my life.

MINERVA MCGONAGALL
I’m not saying his heart isn't in the right place but…

Suddenly, a RUMBLE is heard.

MINERVA MCGONAGALL
What was that?

McGonagall and Dumbledore get of the brick wall and look down the deserted street. The rumble is getting LOUDER. When McGonagall finishes her search, she looks to Dumbledore, who is looking at the sky. A GIANT MOTORBIKE is landing. On the motorbike is RUBEUS HAGRID, an EXTREMELY TALL MAN (HALF-GIANT) in his EARLY 50S. He gets off, carrying a BUNDLE OF BLANKETS.

ALBUS DUMBLEDORE
Hagrid. At last. And where did you get that motorbike?

RUBEUS HAGRID
Borrowed it, Professor Dumbledore, sir. Young Sirius Black lent it me.
(Pause)
I got him sir.

Hagrid looks down at the blankets. A 1-YEAR-OLD HARRY POTTER is sleeping inside them. Dumbledore addresses Hagrid.

ALBUS DUMBLEDORE
No problems, were there?

RUBEUS HAGRID
No, sir – house was almost destroyed, but I got him out OK.

Dumbledore and McGonagall observe the baby. It has BLACK HAIR and GREEN EYES. ON ITS FOREHEAD is a CUT, SHAPED LIKE LIGHTNING.

MINERVA MCGONAGALL
Is that where…?

ALBUS DUMBLEDORE
Yes. He’ll have that scar forever.

MINERVA MCGONAGALL
Couldn't you do something about it, Dumbledore?

ALBUS DUMBLEDORE
Even if I could, I wouldn't. Scars can come in handy.
(Pause)
Well, we’d better get this over with.

Harry is passed from Hagrid to Dumbledore. The three of them turn to face number 4, sadness over all their faces.

RUBEUS HAGRID
Could I – could I say good-bye to him, sir?

Hagrid bends down and gives baby Harry a kiss, then lets out a saddened howl. McGonagall pats Hagrid on the arm. Dumbledore makes his way to the FRONT DOOR of number 4 and lays Harry on the DOORMAT. Dumbledore then takes out a LETTER and tucks it in Harry’s blankets. Dumbledore walks back and the three of them stand silently for a while, staring at baby Harry.

ALBUS DUMBLEDORE
Well, that’s that. We've no business staying here. We may as well go and join the celebrations.

RUBEUS HAGRID
Yeah, I best get this bike away. G’night, Professor McGonagall – Professor Dumbledore, sir.

Still moping up his tears, Hagrid gets back on the bike and departs. IN A WAY OF REPLY, Dumbledore says…

ALBUS DUMBLEDORE
Professor McGonagall

McGonagall simply blows her nose. Dumbledore walks back out to road. He pulls out the Deluminator and clicks it once: ALL THE STREET LIGHTS COME BACK TO LIFE. He looks back at 4 Privet Drive where a TABBY CAT can now be seen, slowly departing.

ALBUS DUMBLEDORE
Good luck, Harry

Baby Harry turns in his sleep, clutching Dumbledore’s letter.

CUT TO:

DARKNESS

Suddenly a shrill voice is heard.

PETUNIA DURSLEY (O.S.)
Up! Get up! Now!

9 - INT. THE CUPBOARD UNDER THE STAIRS - 4 PRIVET DRIVE – MORNING - 23/6/1991

A 10-YEAR-OLD HARRY POTTER wakes. It is heard that Petunia leaves and muddles around in the kitchen.

Harry turns on his side. Through Harry’s P.O.V. muffled visions of a flying motorbike can be seen in front of the wall.

Suddenly, Petunia voice can be heard again.

PETUNIA DURSLEY (O.S.)
Get a move on; I want you to look after the bacon. Don’t you dare let it burn, for Duddy's birthday!

Harry groans and falls back onto his bed.

10 - INT. THE KITCHEN - 4 PRIVET DRIVE – A LITTLE LATER - 23/6/1991

Harry is now serving the BACON to Vernon. Petunia (in her 30s too) and DUDLEY DURSLEY, an obese, blond, 11-year-old, enter. Dudley starts to count the presents, but is displeased.

DUDLEY DURSLEY
Thirty-six. That’s two less than last year.

PETUNIA DURSLEY
Darling, you haven’t counted Auntie Marge’s present.

She points to the smallest present.

DUDLEY DURSLEY
All right, thirty-seven then.

Dudley gets angry. His hands are both on the table. Harry takes his plate to the kitchen and continues to eat there. Petunia speaks in a rush, improvising

PETUNIA DURSLEY
And we’ll buy you another two presents while we’re out today. How’s that, popkin? Two more presents.

Dudley looks like he is concentrating really hard.

DUDLEY DURSLEY
So I’ll have thirty … thirty…

PETUNIA DURSLEY
...nine, sweetums

He is happy, so he begins to unwrap his presents. Vernon chuckles. The. TELEPHONE suddenly RINGS. Petunia goes to answer it.

VERNON DURSLEY
Little tyke wants his money’s worth, just like his father. 'Atta boy, Dudley!

He ruffles Dudley’s hair, but Dudley isn't paying attention. He has just unwrapped a REMOTE CONTROL AEROPLANE and has dived for another present.

None of the telephone conversation is heard. Harry just continues eating and Dudley rips the wrapping of a cine-camera and a computer game. Petunia eventually comes back, both angry and worried.

PETUNIA DURSLEY
Bad news, Vernon. Mrs Figg's broken her leg. She can’t take him.

Petunia jerks her head towards the kitchen, where Harry is still looking after the bacon. Dudley finally looks up, his mouth open in horror; ripping the wrapping he had just been holding as he does so, showing a gold wrist-watch.

Petunia and Vernon hold a conversation, ignoring the children, mainly Harry.

PETUNIA DURSLEY
Now what?

VERNON DURSLEY
We could phone Marge.

PETUNIA DURSLEY
Don’t be silly, Vernon, she hates the boy.

Harry speaks up.

HARRY POTTER
You could just leave me here.

Petunia suddenly turns on Harry.

PETUNIA DURSLEY
And come back and find the house in ruins?

HARRY POTTER
I won’t blow up the house.

Petunia speaks the next words slowly

PETUNIA DURSLEY
I suppose we could take him to the zoo …

Suddenly a loud wailing noise is heard. Dudley has begun to fake cry.

PETUNIA DURSLEY
Dinky Duddydums, don’t cry.

And she hugs her son.

DUDLEY DURSLEY
I … don’t … want … him … t-t-to come! He always sp-spoils everything!

Dudley gives Harry a nasty grin through his mother’s arms. Suddenly the doorbell rings. Petunia lets go of Dudley and he stop to cry at once.

PETUNIA DURSLEY
They’re here!

She and Dudley rush to the front door. Vernon stays with Harry, making up his mind.

VERNON DURSLEY
You've managed to get your way, boy.
(pause)
But, I’m warning you now
(pause)
any funny business, anything at all and you’ll be in that cupboard for a month.

HARRY POTTER
I’m not going to do anything, honestly…

But Harry isn't seem to be able to mean the last word. As the sentence completes, the camera zooms in on Harry and a series of flashbacks begin.

11 - INT. A SCHOOL CLASSROOM - MIDDAY

The TEACHER’S WIG is suddenly TURNED BLUE.

12 - INT. THE KITCHEN - 4 PRIVET DRIVE

Petunia tries to force a JUMPER over Harry’s head. It shrinks and shrinks until it is so small it would fit a glove puppet.

13 - EXT. SCHOOL - LUNCHTIME

Dudley, PIERS POLKISS and some other of HIS GANG are chasing Harry. Harry tries to jump behind a BIN, but finds himself on the ROOF.

14 - INT. THE KITCHEN - 4 PRIVET DRIVE – MORNING - 23/6/1991

We return to the original scene, and Harry is rather unsettled.

15 - INT. / EXT. THE DURSLEY’S CAR – SURREY? – MID-MORNING - 23/6/1991

BRRRMMM. A motorbike overtakes the DURSLEY’S CAR.

VERNON DURSLEY
…roaring along like maniacs, the young hoodlums.

HARRY POTTER
I had a dream about a motorbike. It was flying.

Vernon nearly crashes into the car in front. He turns around in his seat to look at Harry

VERNON DURSLEY
MOTORBIKES DON’T FLY!

Dudley and Piers s******.

HARRY POTTER
I know they don’t.

Harry looks out the window. The camera LOOKS IN ON HIM

HARRY POTTER
It was only a dream.

The camera tracks away,

FADES

16 - INT. REPTILE HOUSE - THE ZOO – SURREY? – AFTERNOON - 23/6/1991

...and PANS DOWN to a GLASS CAGE of the LARGEST SNAKE, a BOA CONSTRICTOR. It is fast asleep. Dudley runs up to it and presses his nose against the glass, frowns, then turns to his father.

DUDLEY DURSLEY
Make it move.

Vernon taps on the glass, but the snake doesn't move.

DUDLEY DURSLEY
Do it again.

Vernon taps the glass again, but still nothing happens

DUDLEY DURSLEY
This is boring.

And he moves away, Harry, however, stays looking in on the snake relating to it.

HARRY POTTER
It must be really annoying.

The snake then opens its eyes and slowly raises its head so that it is level with Harry’s. The snake nods. Harry looks around, then back at the snake. Pause.

HARRY POTTER
Where do you come from, anyway?

The snake points its tail at the SIGN next to the glass. It reads ‘Boa Constrictor, Brazil.’

HARRY POTTER
Was it nice there?

The snake points again to the sign. Beneath it is a SMALLER SIGN. It reads ‘This specimen was bred in the zoo.’

HARRY POTTER
Oh, I see...

A loud shout is suddenly heard from behind…

PIERS POLKISS
DUDLEY! MR DURSLEY! COME AND LOOK AT THIS SNAKE! YOU WON’T BELIEVE WHAT IT’S DOING!

Dudley rushes up to the snake’s cage.

DUDLEY DURSLEY
Out of the way, you.

And he punches Harry in the ribs. Harry falls onto the CONCRETE FLOOR. Piers and Dudley lean right up to the glass then suddenly they become unsteady as the GLASS DISAPPEARS. The snake uncoils itself and slithers out of its cage, onto the floor. People scream and run for the exits. The snake goes past Harry (on the floor) and a voice can be heard…

SNAKE
Brazil, here I come … Thanksss, amigo.

And it slithers out the door; Harry follows it with his eyes, a little confused.

17 - INT. THE DURSLEY’S CAR – SURREY – AFTERNOON - 23/6/1991

The Dursleys, Harry and Piers are all in the Dursley’s car, all looking a little scared and lost for words, except Dudley and Piers

DUDLEY DURSLEY
Did you see how it nearly bit off by leg? But I shook it off…

PIERS POLKISS
I swear it was trying to squeeze me to death.

The car stops at traffic lights as Piers suddenly turns on Harry.

PIERS POLKISS
Harry was talking to it, weren't you, Harry?

Harry is lost for words. Vernon turns and looks at Harry with menace over his face.

18 - INT. THE CUPBOARD UNDER THE STAIRS – 4 PRIVET DRIVE – LATE AFTERNOON - 23/6/1991

VERNON DURSLEY
Go – cupboard – stay – no meals

Vernon pushes Harry into his cupboard. Harry lies in bed, but doesn't go to sleep.

Remembered voices echo in his head.

YOUNG HARRY POTTER (V.O.)
How did I get my scar?

PETUNIA DURSLEY (V.O.)
In the car crash when your parents died. And don’t ask questions

The room is suddenly filled with green light, as though Harry is remembering it.

FADE TO BLACK

FADE IN TO:

19 - INT. KITCHEN – 4 PRIVET DRIVE – MORNING - 24/7/1991

Harry is now eating A SINGLE PIECE OF TOAST at the KITCHEN TABLE. Vernon is carrying the newspaper. He unfolds it and begins to read it when he is seated. Dudley is carrying his SMELTINGS STICK. He places this next to the large serving of BACON AND EGGS he was just given by Petunia. She places Vernon’s on the table, and as she is just about to return to the kitchen, the NOISE OF LETTERS DELIVERED is heard. Petunia stops dead for a slight moment, then continues back to the kitchen.

VERNON DURSLEY
Get the mail, Dudley.

DUDLEY DURSLEY
Make Harry get it.

Vernon takes down the newspaper and notices for the first time that Harry is in the room.

VERNON DURSLEY
Get the mail, Harry.

HARRY POTTER
Make Dudley get it.

DUDLEY DURSLEY
Poke him with your Smelting stick, Dudley.

And Dudley, happy for an excuse to use it, reaches for his Smeltings stick, while shoveling food in with his other hand. He turns around and finds Harry has already gone past.

20 - INT. ENTRANCE – 4 PRIVET DRIVE – CONTINUING - 24/7/1991

Harry walks to the pile of letters lying on the MAT glumly. He picks them up and they are shown to the audience: A POSTCARD SHOWING ISLE OF WIGHT AND A FAT WOMAN, AUNT MARGE, WHO LOOKS LIKE VERNON; A BILL; and A LETTER OF YELLOW PARCHMENT WITH THE WORDS: Mr H. Potter, The Cupboard under the Stairs, 4 Privet Drive, Little Whinging, Surrey WRITTEN ON IN GREEN INK. Harry stares at the letter, it is unbelievable. He turns it over to see A COAT OF ARMS FORMED BY A LION, EAGLE, BADGER AND SNAKE AROUND AN ‘H’ ON A PURPLE WAX SEAL. Then…

VERNON DURSLEY (O.S.)
Hurry up, boy! What are you doing, checking for letter bombs?

Vernon chuckles at his own joke. Harry is out of his trance and motions towards the door.

21 - INT. KITCHEN – 4 PRIVET DRIVE – CONTINUING - 24/7/1991

Harry walks back in, still staring at his letter. It is separate to the bill and postcard now and he hands this to Vernon, who is still behind the newspaper.

VERNON DURSLEY
Marge’s ill.
(speaking to Petunia )
Ate a funny whelk…

But he is cut off by Dudley.

DUDLEY DURSLEY
Dad! Dad, Harry’s got something!

Harry is shown to be just about to be unfolding the LETTER inside, but it is forced away my Vernon.

HARRY POTTER
That’s MINE!

He tries to snatch it back.

VERNON DURSLEY
Who’d be writing to you?

Petunia looks at Harry and the letter, looking as though she thinks she knows this answer, but at the same time doesn't want to know the answer. Vernon opens the letter and on first glance is frozen, and terrified.

VERNON DURSLEY
P-P-Petunia!

Dudley reaches this time. Harry just looks confused. Petunia, thinking she knows what it is, takes it from Vernon. She reads it for about 2 seconds and when she finishes, she looks as though she is about to faint, but chokes a few words.

PETUNIA DURSLEY
Vernon! Oh my goodness – Vernon!

They stare at each other. Dudley gives Vernon a hit on the head with his Smeltings stick for being ignored.

DUDLEY DURSLEY
I want to read that letter!

HARRY POTTER
I want to read it, as it’s mine.

VERNON DURSLEY
Get out, both of you

He stuffs the letter in his pocket. Neither move.

HARRY POTTER
I WANT MY LETTER!

DUDLEY DURSLEY
Let me see it!

VERNON DURSLEY
OUT!

Vernon chucks them out of the room.

22 - INT. ENTRANCE – 4 PRIVET DRIVE – CONTINUING - 24/7/1991

Vernon slams the door in their faces. Harry and Dudley have a silent fight over the keyhole.

23 - INT. KITCHEN – 4 PRIVET DRIVE – MORNING - 24/7/1991

She looks down at the envelope that she is now holding, and addresses Vernon.

PETUNIA DURSLEY
Vernon, look at the address – how could they possibly know where he sleeps? You don’t think they’re watching the house?

VERNON DURSLEY
Watching – spying – might be following us.

PETUNIA DURSLEY
But what should we do, Vernon? Should we write back? Tell them we don’t want…

24 - INT. ENTRANCE – 4 PRIVET DRIVE – MORNING - 24/7/1991

Harry is lying on his stomach listening through the crack under the kitchen door. The light shifts around in the crack, and a shot shows feet pacing.

25 - INT. KITCHEN – 4 PRIVET DRIVE – MORNING - 24/7/1991

Vernon stops pacing

VERNON DURSLEY
No. No, we’ll ignore it. If they don’t get an answer … yes, that’s best … we won’t do anything…

PETUNIA DURSLEY
But…

26 - INT. ENTRANCE – 4 PRIVET DRIVE – MORNING - 24/7/1991

The camera zooms into a confused Harry.

VERNON DURSLEY (O.S.)
I’m not having one in the house, Petunia! Didn't we swear when we took him in we’d stamp out that dangerous nonsense?

27 - INT. THE CUPBOARD UNDER THE STAIRS – 4 PRIVET DRIVE – EVENING - 24/7/1991

Harry is still lying in the same position, though on the CRAMPED BED that is stuffed in the cupboard. The door opens, Harry turns around it is Vernon. He looks out of place in the DUSTY, SPIDER-FILLED cupboard

HARRY POTTER
Where’s my letter? Who’s writing to me?

VERNON DURSLEY
No one. It was addressed to you by mistake. I have burned it.

HARRY POTTER
It was not a mistake; it had my cupboard on it.

VERNON DURSLEY
SILENCE!

A flew spiders fall off the ceiling.

VERNON DURSLEY
Er – yes, Harry – about this cupboard. Your aunt and I have been thinking … you’re really getting a bit big for it … we think it might be nice if you moved into Dudley’s second bedroom.

HARRY POTTER
Why?

VERNON DURSLEY
Don’t ask questions!

28 - INT. HALL – 4 PRIVET DRIVE – LATE MORNING – 25/7/1991

Vernon is nailing up the mailbox. Harry is walking down the stairs and stops. Vernon addresses Petunia who is offering fruitcake. Neither notices Harry.

VERNON DURSLEY
See, if they can’t deliver them they’ll just give up.

PETUNIA DURSLEY
I’m not sure that’ll work, Vernon.

VERNON DURSLEY
Oh, these people’s minds work in strange ways, Petunia, they’re not like you and me

And he hammers another nail.

29 - INT. KITCHEN – 4 PRIVET DRIVE – NEXT MORNING – 26/7/1991

Petunia opens a new packet of eggs. She cracks one. No yolk. She cracks another. No yolk again. This time she spots a piece of parchment. It’s a letter. She pulls it out, unfolds it, then turns to Vernon, who is reading the newspaper, Dudley and Harry, showing it, frowning. Dudley turns to Harry.

DUDLEY DURSLEY
Who on earth wants to talk to you this badly?

30 - INT. KITCHEN – 4 PRIVET DRIVE – NEXT MORNING – 27/7/1991

Harry looks saddened. Vernon is gleefully spreading marmalade on his toast, sometimes spreading on the newspaper in his excitement.

VERNON DURSLEY
No post on Sundays. No damn letters today…

He raises his knife and smiles. Then frowns. A letter has just hit him in the back of his head. He turns to the fireplace which is now rumbling. Everyone’s attention is on it.

And suddenly 50 letters come bursting through the grate, Harry jumps up to try and catch one but…

VERNON DURSLEY
Out! OUT!

Vernon grabs Harry around the middle as he tries to grab a letter and shoves him into the hall. Petunia and Dudley have already run for it.

31 - INT. HALL- 4 PRIVET DRIVE - CONTINUOUS- 29/7/1991

Vernon slams the door so that none of the letters, which are still flying around the kitchen, don't reach the other room.

He speaks threatening, as though he is losing it.

VERNON DURSLEY
That does it. We're going away. Just pack some clothes. No arguments!

32 - EXT. RAILVEIW HOTEL - COKEWORTH - EVENING - 29/7/1991

A gloomy-looking hotel. Night. A train goes by on the nearby railway.

Fades to:

33 - EXT. RAILVEIW HOTEL - COKEWORTH - MORNING - 30/7/1991

The same hotel. Morning.

34 - INT. DINNING ROOM - RAILVIEW HOTEL - COKEWORTH - MORNING - 30/7/1991

The Dursleys and Harry are eating breakfast. The HOTEL OWNER comes over to them (Carrying a LETTER)

Hotel Owner
'Scuse me, but is one of you Mr H. Potter?

Both Harry and Vernon look up.

HOTEL OWNER
Only I got about a hundred of these at the front desk.

She holds up the letter. It reads "Mr H. Potter, Room 17, Railview Hotel, Cokeworth". Harry tries to grab it, but his reach is knocked away by Vernon...

VERNON DURSLEY
I'll take them

...as he stands up to get the rest. The Hotel Owner stared.

35 - INT. DURSLEY'S CAR - COAST - LATE AFTERNOON - 30/7/1991

PETUNIA DURSLEY
Wouldn't it be better just to go home?

Vernon ignores her, gets out of the car and locks Petunia, Dudley and Harry in it. THUNDER.

DUDLEY DURSLEY
Daddy's gone mad, hasn't he?

RAINDROPS fall onto the car.

The doors are unlocked and opened as Vernon arrives back.

VERNON DURSLEY
Found the perfect place.

36 - EXT. COAST - LATE AFTERNOON - 30/7/1991

Vernon is now holding a LONG THIN PACKAGE. He points to a rock out at sea, hardly visible. Even less visible is a SHACK on top of it.

VERNON DURSLEY
Storm forecast for tonight! And I've been able to lend a boat.

The camera falls down to show a small wooden rowboat.

VERNON DURSLEY
(to Harry)
Could do with some of those letters now, eh?
  


ArryGrotter October 12th, 2007 8:58 pm

Re: Fan Scripts: Remake Harry Potter
 
I must say, cutting is hard.

I'm back to the 'I've written tons' part, so am cutting, or trying.

I have 28 scenes to fiddle with
---

I've just finished my cut for 'The Letters from No One'. I cut like two lines. The only other part I felt I could cut was Railview Hotel, but part of me wants to keep it.

Should I keep it?

Option A:    


  
PS:The Letters From No One+HotelINT. HALL - 4 PRIVET DRIVE - CONTINUOUS ACTION - MORNING (29/7/1991)

Vernon slams the door so that none of the letters, which are still flying around the kitchen, don't reach the other room.

He speaks threatening, as though he is losing it.

VERNON DURSLEY
That does it. We're going away. Just pack some clothes. No arguments!

EXT. RAILVIEW HOTEL, COKEWORTH - EVENING (29/7/1991)

A gloomy-looking hotel. Night. A train goes by on the nearby railway.

Fades to:

EXT. RAILVIEW HOTEL, COKEWORTH - MORNING (30/7/1991)

The same hotel. Morning.

INT. DINING ROOM - RAILVIEW HOTEL, COKEWORTH - MORNING (30/7/1991)

The Dursleys and Harry are eating breakfast. The HOTEL OWNER comes over to them (Carrying a LETTER)

HOTEL OWNER
'Scuse me, but is one of you Mr H. Potter?

Both Harry and Vernon look up.

HOTEL OWNER
Only I got about a hundred of these at the front desk.

She holds up the letter. It reads "Mr H. Potter, Room 17, Railview Hotel, Cokeworth". Harry tries to grab it, but his reach is knocked away by Vernon...

VERNON DURSLEY
I'll take them

...as he stands up to get the rest. The Hotel Owner stared.

INT. DURSLEY'S CAR - COAST - LATE AFTERNOON (30/7/1991)

PETUNIA DURSLEY
Wouldn't it be better just to go home?

Vernon ignores her, gets out of the car and locks Petunia, Dudley and Harry in it. THUNDER.

DUDLEY DURSLEY
Daddy's gone mad, hasn't he?

RAINDROPS fall onto the car.

The doors are unlocked and opened as Vernon arrives back.

VERNON DURSLEY
Found the perfect place.
  



Option B:    


  
PS:The Letters From No OneINT. HALL - 4 PRIVET DRIVE - CONTINUOUS ACTION - MORNING (29/7/1991)

Vernon slams the door so that none of the letters, which are still flying around the kitchen, don't reach the other room.

He speaks threatening, as though he is losing it.

VERNON DURSLEY
That does it. We're going away. Just pack some clothes. No arguments!

INT. DURSLEY'S CAR - COAST - LATE AFTERNOON (30/7/1991)

PETUNIA DURSLEY
Wouldn't it be better just to go home?

Vernon ignores her, gets out of the car and locks Petunia, Dudley and Harry in it. THUNDER.

DUDLEY DURSLEY
Daddy's gone mad, hasn't he?

RAINDROPS fall onto the car.

The doors are unlocked and opened as Vernon arrives back.

VERNON DURSLEY
Found the perfect place.
  



Update: I have decided to rid the hotel, hence changing the dates (not that it really matters)

I've finished the third draft as I called it to the shack point.

First>Third differences.
55>33 scenes
33>23 pages
24>16 speaking characters

ArryGrotter October 14th, 2007 4:30 am

Re: Fan Scripts: Harry Potter Remakes
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by ArryGrotter (Post 4800245)
I decided to compare timings with the 2004-PoA script I have in the same format.

By the time 'The Boy Who Lived' is over, Harry's on the Knight Bus.
Harry meets Ron and Hermione the same time he meets the snake.
Dementors are attacking by the time the Petunia and Vernon finish their talk about the letter.

Though, I always think the beginning of the HP films have been rushed.

I think that scripts can't estimate the time of the movie, cause I just found that CoS's script is shorter than PoA's and CoS/film is longer than PoA.:huh:

PS: Where is everyone else, I've posted 3 times in a row! (13 if you include edits)

Edit: The page numbering systems gone kaput. Now that I scroll down, it says 138 of 99 for CoS and 129 of 113 for PoA. They are probably the same (The formatting in the scripts aren't perfect)

Edit 2: I forgot to put this up:

I have finally finished the next HUGE chunk (CH 2 and 3). It was hard. I think it is still a bit too long, but it is nothing like it was when it had Mrs Figg in there.

PS: Dudley's Birthday, The Vanishing Glass, The Letters From No OneDARKNESS

Suddenly a shrill voice is heard.

PETUNIA DURSLEY (O.S.)
Up! Get up! Now!

INT. CUPBOARD UNDER THE STAIRS - 4 PRIVET DRIVE – MORNING (23/6/1991)

A 10-YEAR-OLD HARRY POTTER wakes. It is heard that Petunia leaves and muddles around in the kitchen.

Harry turns on his side. Through Harry’s P.O.V. muffled visions of a flying motorbike can be seen in front of the wall.

Suddenly, Petunia voice can be heard again.

PETUNIA DURSLEY (O.S.)
Get a move on! I want you to look after the bacon, and don’t you dare let it burn on Duddy's birthday!

Harry groans and falls back onto his bed.

INT. KITCHEN - 4 PRIVET DRIVE – MORNING (A LITTLE LATER) (23/6/1991)

Harry is now serving the BACON to Vernon and Petunia (both in their 30s). DUDLEY DURSLEY, an obese, blond, 11-year-old, is finishing counting the presents, but is displeased.

DUDLEY DURSLEY
Thirty-six. That’s two less than last year.

PETUNIA DURSLEY
Darling, you haven’t counted Auntie Marge’s present.

She points to the smallest present.

DUDLEY DURSLEY
All right, thirty-seven then.

Dudley gets angry. His hands are both on the table. Harry takes his plate to the kitchen and eats there. Petunia speaks in a rush, improvising

PETUNIA DURSLEY
And we’ll buy you another two presents while we’re out today. How’s that, popkin?

Dudley looks like he is concentrating really hard.

DUDLEY DURSLEY
So I’ll have thirty … thirty…

PETUNIA DURSLEY
...nine, sweetums

He is happy, so he begins to unwrap his presents. Vernon chuckles. The. TELEPHONE suddenly RINGS. Petunia goes to answer it.

VERNON DURSLEY
Little tyke wants his money’s worth, just like his father. 'Atta boy, Dudley!

He ruffles Dudley’s hair, but Dudley isn't paying attention. He has just unwrapped a REMOTE CONTROL AEROPLANE and has dived for another present.

None of the telephone conversation is heard. Harry just continues eating and Dudley rips the wrapping of a cine-camera and a computer game. Petunia eventually comes back, both angry and worried.

PETUNIA DURSLEY
Bad news, Vernon. Mrs Figg's broken her leg. She can’t take him.

Petunia jerks her head towards the kitchen, where Harry is still eating. Dudley finally looks up, his mouth open in horror; ripping the wrapping he had just been holding as he does so, showing a gold wrist-watch.

Petunia and Vernon hold a conversation, ignoring the children, mainly Harry.

PETUNIA DURSLEY
Now what?

VERNON DURSLEY
We could phone Marge.

PETUNIA DURSLEY
Don’t be silly, Vernon, she hates the boy.

Harry speaks up.

HARRY POTTER
You could just leave me here.

Petunia suddenly turns on Harry.

PETUNIA DURSLEY
And come back and find the house in ruins?

HARRY POTTER
I won’t blow up the house.

Petunia looks at Harry for a second, eyebrows raised.

She then speaks her next words slowly

PETUNIA DURSLEY
I suppose we could take him to the zoo …

Suddenly a loud wailing noise is heard. Dudley has begun to fake cry.

PETUNIA DURSLEY
Dinky Duddydums, don’t cry.

And she hugs her son.

DUDLEY DURSLEY
I … don’t … want … him … t-t-to come! He always sp-spoils everything!

Dudley gives Harry a nasty grin through his mother’s arms. Suddenly the doorbell rings. Petunia lets go of Dudley and he stop to cry at once.

PETUNIA DURSLEY
They’re here!

She and Dudley rush to the front door. Vernon stays with Harry, making up his mind. Then:

VERNON DURSLEY
You've managed to get your way, boy. But, (pause) I’m warning you (pause) any funny business, anything at all and you’ll be in that cupboard for a month.

HARRY POTTER
I’m not going to do anything, honestly…

But Harry isn't seem to be able to mean the last word. As the sentence completes, the camera zooms in on Harry and a series of flashbacks begin.

INT. SCHOOL CLASSROOM - DAY

The TEACHER’S WIG is suddenly TURNED BLUE.

INT. KITCHEN - 4 PRIVET DRIVE

Petunia tries to force a JUMPER over Harry’s head. It shrinks and shrinks until it is so small it would fit a glove puppet.

EXT. SCHOOL - MIDDAY

Dudley, PIERS POLKISS and some other of HIS GANG are chasing Harry. Harry tries to jump behind a BIN, but finds himself on the ROOF.

INT. KITCHEN - 4 PRIVET DRIVE – MORNING (23/6/1991)

We return to the original scene, and Harry is rather unsettled.

EXT./INT. DURSLEY’S CAR – SURREY? – LATE MORNING (23/6/1991)

BRRRMMM. A motorbike overtakes the DURSLEY’S CAR.

VERNON DURSLEY
…roaring along like maniacs, the young hoodlums.

HARRY POTTER
I had a dream about a motorbike. It was flying.

Vernon nearly crashes into the car in front. He turns around in his seat to look at Harry

VERNON DURSLEY
MOTORBIKES DON’T FLY!

Dudley and Piers s******.

HARRY POTTER
I know they don’t.

Harry looks out the window. The camera LOOKS IN ON HIM

HARRY POTTER
It was only a dream.

The camera tracks away,...

...FADES,...

INT. REPTILE HOUSE, ZOO – AFTERNOON (23/6/1991)

...and PANS DOWN to a GLASS CAGE of the LARGEST SNAKE, a BOA CONSTRICTOR. It is fast asleep. Dudley runs up to it and presses his nose against the glass, frowns, then turns to his father.

DUDLEY DURSLEY
Make it move.

Vernon taps on the glass, but the snake doesn't move.

DUDLEY DURSLEY
Do it again.

Vernon taps the glass again, but still nothing happens

DUDLEY DURSLEY
This is boring.

And he moves away, Harry, however, stays looking in on the snake relating to it.

HARRY POTTER
It must be really annoying.

The snake then opens its eyes and slowly raises its head so that it is level with Harry’s. The snake nods. Harry looks around, then back at the snake. Pause.

HARRY POTTER
Where do you come from, anyway?

The snake points its tail at the SIGN next to the glass. It reads ‘Boa Constrictor, Brazil.’

HARRY POTTER
Was it nice there?

The snake points again to the sign. Beneath it is a SMALLER SIGN. It reads ‘This specimen was bred in the zoo.’

HARRY POTTER
Oh, I see...

A loud shout is suddenly heard from behind…

PIERS POLKISS
Dudley! Mr Dursley! Come and look at this snake! You won’t believe what it’s doing!

Dudley rushes up to the snake’s cage.

DUDLEY DURSLEY
Out of the way, you.

And he punches Harry in the ribs. Harry falls onto the CONCRETE FLOOR. Piers and Dudley lean right up to the glass then suddenly they become unsteady as the GLASS DISAPPEARS. The snake uncoils itself and slithers out of its cage, onto the floor. People scream and run for the exits. The snake goes past Harry (on the floor) and a voice can be heard…

SNAKE
Brazil, here I come … Thanksss, amigo.

And it slithers out the door. Harry follows it with his eyes, a little confused.

INT. DURSLEY’S CAR – SURREY – AFTERNOON (23/6/1991)

The Dursleys, Harry and Piers are all in the Dursley’s car, all looking a little scared and lost for words, except Dudley and Piers

DUDLEY DURSLEY
Did you see how it nearly bit off by leg? But I shook it off…

PIERS POLKISS
I swear it was trying to squeeze me to death.

The car stops at traffic lights as Piers suddenly turns on Harry.

PIERS POLKISS
Harry was talking to it, weren't you, Harry?

Harry is lost for words. Vernon turns and looks at Harry with menace over his face.

INT. CUPBOARD UNDER THE STAIRS – 4 PRIVET DRIVE – LATE AFTERNOON (23/6/1991)

VERNON DURSLEY
Go – cupboard – stay – no meals

Vernon pushes Harry into his cupboard. Harry lies in bed, but doesn't go to sleep.

Remembered voices echo in his head.

YOUNG HARRY POTTER (V.O.)
How did I get my scar?

PETUNIA DURSLEY (V.O.)
In the car crash when your parents died. And don’t ask questions

The room is suddenly filled with green light, as though Harry is remembering it.

FADE TO BLACK

FADE IN TO:

INT. KITCHEN – 4 PRIVET DRIVE – MORNING (24/7/1991)

Harry is now eating A SINGLE PIECE OF TOAST at the KITCHEN TABLE. Vernon is carrying the newspaper. He unfolds it and begins to read it when he is seated. Dudley is carrying his SMELTINGS STICK. He places this next to the large serving of BACON AND EGGS he was just given by Petunia. She places Vernon’s on the table, and as she is just about to return to the kitchen, the NOISE OF LETTERS DELIVERED is heard. Petunia stops dead for a slight moment, then continues back to the kitchen.

VERNON DURSLEY
Get the mail, Dudley.

DUDLEY DURSLEY
Make Harry get it.

Vernon takes down the newspaper and notices for the first time that Harry is in the room.

VERNON DURSLEY
Get the mail, Harry.

HARRY POTTER
Make Dudley get it.

Vernon looks back at the paper and says plainly...

VERNON DURSLEY
Get the mail, Harry

Harry looks at Dudley, who is shovelling food in his mouth, then leaves the room.

INT. ENTRANCE – 4 PRIVET DRIVE – CONTINUOUS ACTION - MORNING (24/7/1991)

Harry walks to the pile of letters lying on the MAT glumly. He picks them up and they are shown to the audience: A POSTCARD SHOWING THE ISLE OF WIGHT AND A FAT WOMAN, AUNT MARGE, WHO LOOKS LIKE VERNON; A BILL; and A LETTER OF YELLOW PARCHMENT WITH THE WORDS: Mr H. Potter, The Cupboard under the Stairs, 4 Privet Drive, Little Whinging, Surrey WRITTEN ON IN GREEN INK. Harry stares at the letter, it is unbelievable. He turns it over to see A COAT OF ARMS FORMED BY A LION, EAGLE, BADGER AND SNAKE AROUND AN ‘H’ ON A PURPLE WAX SEAL. Then…

VERNON DURSLEY (O.S.)
Hurry up, boy!

Harry is out of his trance and motions towards the door.

INT. KITCHEN – 4 PRIVET DRIVE – CONTINUOUS ACTION - MORNING (24/7/1991)

Harry walks back in, still staring at his letter. It is separate to the bill and postcard now and he hands this to Vernon, who is still behind the newspaper.

VERNON DURSLEY
Marge’s ill. (speaking to Petunia) Ate a funny whelk…

But he is cut off by Dudley.

DUDLEY DURSLEY
Dad! Dad, Harry’s got something!

Harry is shown to be just about to be unfolding the LETTER inside, but it is forced away my Vernon.

HARRY POTTER
That’s MINE!

He tries to snatch it back.

VERNON DURSLEY
Who’d be writing to you?

Petunia looks at Harry and the letter, looking as though she thinks she knows this answer, but at the same time doesn't want to know the answer. Vernon opens the letter and on first glance is frozen, and terrified.

VERNON DURSLEY
P-P-Petunia!

Dudley reaches this time. Harry just looks confused. Petunia, thinking she knows what it is, takes it from Vernon. She reads it for about 2 seconds and when she finishes, she looks as though she is about to faint, but chokes a few words.

PETUNIA DURSLEY
Vernon! Oh my goodness – Vernon!

They stare at each other.

DUDLEY DURSLEY
I want to read that letter!

HARRY POTTER
I want to read it, as it’s mine.

VERNON DURSLEY
Get out, both of you. OUT!

He stuffs the letter in his pocket and chucks them out of the room.

INT. ENTRANCE – 4 PRIVET DRIVE – CONTINUOUS ACTION - MORNING (24/7/1991)

Vernon slams the door in their faces. Harry and Dudley have a silent fight over the keyhole.

INT. KITCHEN – 4 PRIVET DRIVE – CONTINUOUS ACTION - MORNING (24/7/1991)

She looks down at the envelope that she is now holding, and addresses Vernon.

PETUNIA DURSLEY
Vernon, how could they possibly know where he sleeps? You don’t think they’re watching the house?

VERNON DURSLEY
Watching – spying – might be following us.

PETUNIA DURSLEY
But what should we do, Vernon? Tell them we don’t want…

INT. ENTRANCE – 4 PRIVET DRIVE – CONTINUOUS ACTION - MORNING (24/7/1991)

Harry is lying on his stomach listening through the crack under the kitchen door. The light shifts around in the crack, and a shot shows feet pacing.

INT. KITCHEN – 4 PRIVET DRIVE – CONTINUOUS ACTION - MORNING (24/7/1991)

Vernon stops pacing

VERNON DURSLEY
No. No, we’ll ignore it. If they don’t get an answer … yes, we won’t do anything…

PETUNIA DURSLEY
But…

INT. ENTRANCE – 4 PRIVET DRIVE – CONTINUOUS ACTION - MORNING (24/7/1991)

The camera zooms into a confused Harry.

VERNON DURSLEY (O.S.)
I’m not having one in the house, Petunia! Didn't we swear when we took him in we’d stamp out that dangerous nonsense?

INT. CUPBOARD UNDER THE STAIRS – 4 PRIVET DRIVE – EVENING (24/7/1991)

Harry is still lying in the same position, though on the CRAMPED BED that is stuffed in the cupboard. The door opens, Harry turns around it is Vernon. He looks out of place in the DUSTY, SPIDER-FILLED cupboard

HARRY POTTER
Where’s my letter? Who’s writing to me?

VERNON DURSLEY
No one. It was addressed to you by mistake. I have burned it.

HARRY POTTER
It was not a mistake; it had my cupboard on it.

VERNON DURSLEY
SILENCE!

A flew spiders fall off the ceiling.

VERNON DURSLEY
Er – yes – about this cupboard. Your aunt and I have been thinking … we think it might be nice if you moved into Dudley’s second bedroom.

HARRY POTTER
Why?

Vernon looks at Harry threatening.

VERNON DURSLEY
Don’t - ask - questions!

INT. HALL – 4 PRIVET DRIVE – LATE MORNING (25/7/1991)

Vernon is nailing up the mailbox. Harry is walking down the stairs and stops. Vernon addresses Petunia who is offering fruitcake. Neither notices Harry.

VERNON DURSLEY
See, if they can’t deliver them they’ll just give up.

PETUNIA DURSLEY
I’m not sure that’ll work, Vernon.

VERNON DURSLEY
Oh, these people’s minds work in strange ways, Petunia, they’re not like you and me

And he hammers another nail.

INT. KITCHEN – 4 PRIVET DRIVE – (NEXT) MORNING (26/7/1991)

Petunia opens a new packet of eggs. She cracks one. No yolk. She cracks another. No yolk again. This time she spots a piece of parchment. It’s a letter. She pulls it out, unfolds it, then turns to Vernon, who is reading the newspaper, Dudley and Harry, showing it, frowning. Dudley turns to Harry.

DUDLEY DURSLEY
Who on earth wants to talk to you this badly?

INT. KITCHEN – 4 PRIVET DRIVE – (NEXT) MORNING (27/7/1991)

Harry looks saddened. Vernon is gleefully spreading marmalade on his toast, sometimes spreading on the newspaper in his excitement.

VERNON DURSLEY
No post on Sundays. No damn letters today…

He raises his knife and smiles. Then frowns. A letter has just hit him in the back of his head. He turns to the fireplace which is now rumbling. Everyone’s attention is on it.

And suddenly 50 letters come bursting through the grate, Harry jumps up to try and catch one but…

VERNON DURSLEY
Out! OUT!

Vernon grabs Harry around the middle as he tries to grab a letter and shoves him into the hall. Petunia and Dudley have already run for it.

INT. HALL - 4 PRIVET DRIVE - CONTINUOUS ACTION - MORNING (29/7/1991)

Vernon slams the door so that none of the letters, which are still flying around the kitchen, don't reach the other room.

He speaks threatening, as though he is losing it.

VERNON DURSLEY
That does it. We're going away. Just pack some clothes. No arguments!

INT. DURSLEY'S CAR - COAST - LATE AFTERNOON (30/7/1991)

PETUNIA DURSLEY
Wouldn't it be better just to go home?

Vernon ignores her, gets out of the car and locks Petunia, Dudley and Harry in it. THUNDER.

DUDLEY DURSLEY
Daddy's gone mad, hasn't he?

RAINDROPS fall onto the car.

The doors are unlocked and opened as Vernon arrives back.

VERNON DURSLEY
Found the perfect place.

EXT. COAST - LATE AFTERNOON (30/7/1991)

Vernon is now holding a LONG THIN PACKAGE. He points to a rock out at sea, hardly visible. Even less visible is a SHACK on top of it.

VERNON DURSLEY
Storm forecast for tonight! And I've been able to lend a boat.

The camera falls down to show a small wooden rowboat.

VERNON DURSLEY
(to Harry) Could do with some of those letters now, eh?

ArryGrotter October 20th, 2007 12:08 am

Re: Fan Scripts: Remake Harry Potter
 
Um, can anyone think of a good idea of showing it is Harry's Birthday? I really like how Kloves did it, but can't really think of anything else.

---
Once again, where is everyone. Am I talking to myself?

Because I couldn't think of anything different, I ended up doing something similar.

Harry's Bday:    


  
PS: The Letters From No OneINT. HUT-ON-THE-ROCK - EVENING
(30/7/1991)

Harry tries to keep warm, lying on the stone floor, under the thin blanket that is over him. Snores fill the room. Dudley is sleeping on the couch. THUNDER. Harry turns over to were he has written "Happy Birthday" in the dust. He put a circle around it, making a cake. He looks at Dudley's watch, which danging over the edge of the couch, on his wrist. 11:58pm. He turns back to his cake, he marks in the candles, and remembers...

FADES TO:

INT. KiTCHEN - 4 PRIVET DRIVE - MORNING
(FLASHBACK) (31/7/1990)

Vernon hands Harry a coat-hanger and a pair of mustard socks.

VERNON DURSLEY
There you go.

FADES TO:

INT. SHACK-ON-THE-ROCK - EVENING
(30-31/7/1991)

Ten. Eleven. Harry looks at the cake quite sombre. He turns to Dudley's watch. 11:59:56. :57. :58. :59.

BOOM.
  


ArryGrotter October 22nd, 2007 7:57 am

Re: Fan Scripts: Remake Harry Potter
 
The Next Scene (With no Cuts AT ALL)
Be Afraid. Be Very Afraid
The It-doesn't-leave-out-anything Hut-on-the-Rock scene:    


  
PS:The Keeper of the KeysINT. HUT-ON-THE-ROCK - MIDNIGHT (30/7/1991)

Harry tries to keep warm, lying on the stone floor, under the thin blanket that is over him. Snores fill the room. Dudley is sleeping on the couch. THUNDER. Harry turns over to were he has written "Happy Birthday" in the dust. He put a circle around it, making a cake. He looks at Dudley's watch, which danging over the edge of the couch, on his wrist. 11:58pm. He turns back to his cake, he marks in the candles, and remembers...

FADES TO:

INT. KiTCHEN - 4 PRIVET DRIVE - MORNING (FLASHBACK) (31/7/1990)

Vernon hands Harry a coat-hanger and a pair of mustard socks.

VERNON DURSLEY
There you go.

FADES TO:

INT. HUT-ON-THE-ROCK - MIDNIGHT (30-31/7/1991)

Ten candles. Eleven. Harry looks at the cake quite sombre. He turns to Dudley's watch. 11:59:56. :57. :58. :59. BOOM. The door shudders. BOOM. And again. Harry stands up. Dudley has woken up, looking around, scared.

DUDLEY DURSLEY
Where's the cannon?

Vernon comes into the room, holding a rifle, Petunia bringing up his rear.

VERNON DURSLEY
Who's there? I warn you, I'm armed!

SMASH. The door falls down and RUBEUS HAGRID walks in. He says cheerfully...

RUBEUS HAGRID
Couldn’t make us a cup o’ tea, could yeh? It’s not been an easy journey…

He picks up the door and puts it back in its place. Petunia and Vernon simply look at each other. Hagrid moves toward the couch where Dudley is paralyzed with shock.

RUBEUS HAGRID
Budge up, yeh great lump.

Dudley quickly gets off the couch and cowers behind his parents. Hagrid looks at Harry.

RUBEUS HAGRID
And here's Harry! Las’ time I saw you, you was only a baby. Yeh look a lot like yer dad, but yeh’ve got yer mum’s eyes.

Vernon gets his confidence back, gripping the rifle tight again.

VERNON DURSLEY
I demand that you leave at once, sir! You are breaking and entering!

RUBEUS HAGRID
Ah, shut up, Dursley, yeh great prune.

He turns and takes the rifle from Vernon. He then easily bends it into a knot and throws it into a corner. Vernon makes a noise like a mouse being trodden on.

RUBEUS HAGRID
Anyway. Harry, a very happy birthday to yeh. Got summat fer yeh here. I mighta sat on it at some point, but it’ll taste all right.

Hagrid pulls a squashed box and hands it to Harry, who opens in to find a cake with "Happy Birthday Harry" written on it. Harry looks up at Hagrid, confused.

HARRY POTTER
Who are you?

RUBEUS HAGRID
(Chuckling)
True, I haven’t introduced meself. Rubeus Hagrid, Keeper of Keys and Grounds at Hogwarts.

Hagrid holds out his hand then shakes Harry's arm.

RUBEUS HAGRID
What about that tea then, eh? I’d not say no ter summat stronger if yeh’ve got it, mind.

His eyes find the empty fireplace where chip packets lay shrivelled. He snorts, then bends over it and when he stands up again, the fireplace is ablaze. Hagrid takes a kettle, sausages, a poker, a teapot, and some mugs and begins to make tea and cook sausages.

VERNON DURSLEY
Don’t touch anything he gives you, Dudley.

RUBEUS HAGRID
Yer great puddin’ of a son don’ need fattenin’ anymore, Dursley, don’ worry.

Hagrid passes a cooked sausage to Harry, who eats it hungrily, yet doesn't look away from Hagrid. When he is finished, he says.

HARRY POTTER
I’m sorry, but I still don’t really know who you are.

RUBEUS HAGRID
Call me Hagrid, everyone does. An’ like I told yeh, I’m Keeper of Keys at Hogwarts – yeh’ll know all about Hogwarts, o’ course.

HARRY POTTER
Er – no.

Hagrid looks shocked

HARRY POTTER
Sorry

RUBEUS HAGRID
Sorry?
(He looks at the Dursleys)
It’s them as should be sorry! I knew yeh weren’t gettin’ yer letters but I never thought yeh wouldn’t even know abou’ Hogwarts, fer cryin’ out loud! Did yeh never wonder where yet parents learned it all?

HARRY POTTER
All what?

RUBEUS HAGRID
All what! Now wait jus’ one second!
(He now stands up and the Dursleys cower)
Do you mean ter tell me,’ he growled at the Dursleys, ‘that this boy – this boy! – knows nothin’ abou’ – about ANYTHING?

HARRY POTTER
I know some things. I can, you know, do maths and stuff.

RUBEUS HAGRID
About our world, I mean. Your world. My world. Yer parents’ world.

HARRY POTTER
What world?

RUBEUS HAGRID
Dursley!

Vernon cowers even more.

RUBEUS HAGRID
But yeh must know about yet mum and dad,’ he said. ‘I mean, they’re famous. You’re famous.

HARRY POTTER
What? My – my mum and dad weren’t famous, were they?

RUBEUS HAGRID
Yeh don’ know ... yeh don’ know ... yeh don’ know what yeh are?

Vernon suddenly steps out.

VERNON DURSLEY
Stop! Stop right there, sit! I forbid you to tell the boy anything!

Hagrid turns on Vernon.

RUBEUS HAGRID
You never told him? Never told him what was in the letter Dumbledore left fer him? I was there! I saw Dumbledore leave it, Dursley! An’ you’ve kept it from him all these years?

HARRY POTTER
Kept what from me?

VERNON DURSLEY
STOP! I FORBID YOU!

Petunia gives a gasp from the corner.

RUBEUS HAGRID
Ah, go boil yet heads, both of yeh,’ said Hagrid. ‘Harry – yer a wizard.

Complete silence.

HARRY POTTER
I’m a what?

RUBEUS HAGRID
A wizard, o’ course, an’ a thumpin’ good’un, I’d say, once yeh’ve been trained up a bit. With a mum an’ dad like yours, what else would yeh be? An’ I reckon it’s abou’ time yeh read yer letter.

From his pocket Hagrid extracts another letter. He passes it to Harry. Harry opens it. It says: "HOGWARTS SCHOOL OF WITCHCRAFT AND WIZARDRY, Headmaster: Albus Dumbledore, (Order of Merlin, First Class, Grand Sorc., Chf. Warlock, Supreme Mugwump, International Confed. of Wizards), Dear Mr Potter, We are pleased to inform you that you have been accepted at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. Please find enclosed a list of all necessary books and equipment. Term begins on September 1. We await your owl by no later than July 31. Yours sincerely, Minerva McGonagall, Deputy Headmistress." Harry reads:

HARRY POTTER (O.S.)
Dear Mr Potter, We are pleased to inform you that you have been accepted at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. Please find enclosed a list of all necessary books and equipment. Term begins on September 1. We await your owl by no later than July 31.

Harry closes the letter, shocked. After a while he says...

HARRY POTTER
What does it mean, they await my owl?

RUBEUS HAGRID
Gallopin’ Gorgons, that reminds me.

From another pocket he pulls a real live owl, a quill and a piece of parchment. He scribbles a note, ties it to the owls leg, and throws the owl out the window. Harry stands there with his mouth open.

RUBEUS HAGRID
Where was I?

Vernon moves forward again.

VERNON DURSLEY
He's not going.

RUBEUS HAGRID
I’d like ter see a great Muggle like you stop him.

HARRY POTTER
A what?

RUBEUS HAGRID
A Muggle, it's what we call non-magic folk like them. An’ it’s your bad luck you grew up in a family o’ the biggest Muggles I ever laid eyes on.

VERNON DURSLEY
We swore when we took him in we’d put a stop to that rubbish, swore we’d stamp it out of him! Wizard indeed!

HARRY POTTER
You knew? You knew I’m a – a wizard?

PETUNIA DURSLEY
Knew! Knew! Of course we knew! How could you not be, my dratted sister being what she was? Oh, she got a letter just like that and disappeared off to that – that school - and came home every holiday with her pockets full of frog spawn, turning teacups into rats. I was the only one who saw her for what she was – a freak! But for my mother and father, oh no, it was Lily this and Lily that, they were proud of having a witch in the family! Then she met that Potter at school and they left and got married and had you, and of course I knew you’d be just the same, just as strange, just as – as – abnormal – and then, if you please, she went and got herself blown up and we got landed with you!

HARRY POTTER
Blown up? You told me they died in a car crash!

RUBEUS HAGRID
CAR CRASH! How could a car crash kill Lily an’ James Potter? It’s an outrage! A scandal! Harry Potter not knowin’ his own story when every kid in our world knows his name!

HARRY POTTER
But why? What happened?

RUBEUS HAGRID
I never expected this. I had no idea, when Dumbledore told me there might be trouble gettin’ hold of yeh, how much yeh didn’t know. Ah, Harry, I don’ know if I’m the right person ter tell yeh – but someone’s gotta – yeh can’t go off ter Hogwarts not knowin’.
(He looks angrily at the Dursleys)
Well, it’s best yeh know as much as I can tell yeh - mind, I can’t tell yeh everythin’, it’s a great myst’ry, parts of it. It begins, I suppose, with - with a person called – but it’s incredible yeh don’t know his name, everyone in our world knows –

HARRY POTTER
Who?

RUBEUS HAGRID
Well – I don’ like sayin’ the name if I can help it. No one does.

HARRY POTTER
Why not?

RUBEUS HAGRID
Gulpin’ gargoyles, Harry, people are still scared. Blimey, this is difficult. See, there was this wizard who went ... bad. As bad as you could go. Worse. Worse than worse. His name was...

Hagrid gulps.

HARRY POTTER
Could you write it down?

RUBEUS HAGRID
Nah – can’t spell it. All right – Voldemort. Don’ make me say it again. Anyway, this – this wizard, about twenty years ago now, started lookin’ fer followers. Got ‘em, too – some were afraid, some just wanted a bit o’ his power, ‘cause he was gettin’ himself power, all right. Dark days, Harry. Didn’t know who ter trust, didn’t dare get friendly with strange wizards or witches… Terrible things happened. He was takin’ over. ‘Course, some stood up to him – an’ he killed ‘em. Horribly. One o’ the only safe places left was Hogwarts. Reckon Dumbledore’s the only one You-Know-Who was afraid of. Didn’t dare try takin’ the school, not jus’ then, anyway. Now, yer mum an’ dad were as good a witch an’ wizard as I ever knew. Head boy an’ girl at Hogwarts in their day! Suppose the myst’ry is why You-Know-Who never tried to get ‘em on his side before ... probably knew they were too close ter Dumbledore ter want anythin’ ter do with the Dark Side. Maybe he thought he could persuade ‘em… maybe he just wanted ‘em outta the way. All anyone knows is, he turned up in the village where you was all living, on Halloween ten years ago. You was just a year old. He came ter yer house an’ – an’ –

Hagrid pulls out his handkerchief and blows his nose.

RUBEUS HAGRID
Sorry. But it’s that sad – knew yer mum an’ dad, an’ nicer people yeh couldn’t find – anyway ... You-Know-Who killed ‘em. An’ then – an’ this is the real myst’ry of the thing – he tried to kill you, too. Wanted ter make a clean job of it, I suppose, or maybe he just liked killin’ by then. But he couldn’t do it. Never wondered how you got that mark on yer forehead? That was no ordinary cut. That’s what yeh get when a powerful, evil curse touches yeh – took care of yer mum an’ dad an’ yer house, even – but it didn’t work on you, an’ that’s why yer famous, Harry. No one ever lived after he decided ter kill ‘em, no one except you, an’ he’d killed some o’ the best witches an’ wizards of the age – the McKinnons, the Bones, the Prewetts – an’ you was only a baby, an’ you lived.
Harry looks away from Hagrid and the screen fills with green light and a high, cold laugh is heard.

RUBEUS HAGRID
Took yeh from the ruined house myself, on Dumbledore’s orders. Brought yeh ter this lot...

VERNON DURSLEY
Load of tosh.

Vernon steps forward once again.

VERNON DURSLEY
Now, you listen here, boy, I accept there’s something strange about you, probably nothing a good beating wouldn’t have cured – and as for all this about your parents, well, they were weirdos, no denying it, and the world’s better off without them in my opinion – asked for all they got, getting mixed up with these wizarding types – just what I expected, always knew they’d come to a sticky end –

Suddenly Hagrid leaps from the couch and draws a pink umbrella in front of Vernon.

RUBEUS HAGRID
I’m warning you, Dursley – I’m warning you – one more word...

Vernon looks rather scared by the umbrella and draws back.

RUBEUS HAGRID
That’s better.

Hagrid sits back on the couch.

HARRY POTTER
But what happened to Vol – sorry – I mean, You-Know-Who?

RUBEUS HAGRID
Good question, Harry. Disappeared. Vanished. Same night he tried ter kill you. Makes yeh even more famous. That’s the biggest myst’ry, see … he was gettin’ more an’ more powerful – why’d he go? Some say he died. Codswallop, in my opinion. Dunno if he had enough human left in him to die. Some say he’s still out there, bidin’ his time, like, but I don’ believe it. People who was on his side came back ter ours. Some of ‘em came outta kinda trances. Don’ reckon they could’ve done if he was comin’ back. Most of us reckon he’s still out there somewhere but lost his powers. Too weak to carry on. ‘Cause somethin’ about you finished him, Harry. There was somethin’ goin’ on that night he hadn’t counted on – I dunno what it was, no one does - but somethin’ about you stumped him, all right.

Harry looks into Hagrid's warm eyes, which are respecting him. Harry's green eyes are confused.

HARRY POTTER
Hagrid, I think you must have made a mistake. I don’t think I can be a wizard.

RUBEUS HAGRID
Not a wizard, eh? Never made things happen when you was scared or angry?

Harry looks into the fire remembers something.

SNAKE (V.O.)
Brazil here I come...thanksss, amigo

Harry looks back at Hagrid, to see him smiling back at him.

RUBEUS HAGRID
See? Harry Potter, not a wizard – you wait, you’ll be right famous at Hogwarts.

VERNON DURSLEY
Haven’t I told you he’s not going? He’s going to Stonewall High and he’ll be grateful for it. I’ve read those letters and he needs all sorts of rubbish - spell books and wands and –

RUBEUS HAGRID
If he wants ter go, a great Muggle like you won’t stop him. Stop Lily an’ James Potter’s son goin’ ter Hogwarts! Yer mad. His name’s been down ever since he was born. He’s off ter the finest school of witchcraft and wizardry in the world. Seven years there and he won’t know himself. He’ll be with youngsters of his own sort, fer a change, an’ he’ll be under the greatest headmaster Hogwarts ever had, Albus Dumbled –

VERNON DURSLEY
I AM NOT PAYING FOR SOME CRACKPOT OLD FOOL TO TEACH HIM MAGIC TRICKS!

Hagrid takes out his umbrella again.

RUBEUS HAGRID
NEVER – INSULT – ALBUS – DUMBLEDORE – IN – FRONT – OF – ME!

He points the umbrella at Dudley. A flash of violet light. A squeal of pain. Dudley hops around, holding his buttocks. A pig's tail is seen between them. The Dursleys rush into the other room.

RUBEUS HAGRID
Shouldn’ta lost me temper, but it didn’t work anyway. Meant ter turn him into a pig, but I suppose he was so much like a pig anyway there wasn’t much left ter do.

Hagrid looks at Harry.

RUBEUS HAGRID
Be grateful if yeh didn’t mention that ter anyone at Hogwarts. I’m – er – not supposed ter do magic, strictly speakin’. I was allowed ter do a bit ter follow yeh an’ get yer letters to yeh an’ stuff – one o’ the reasons I was so keen ter take on the job.

HARRY POTTER
Why aren’t you supposed to do magic?

RUBEUS HAGRID
Oh, well – I was at Hogwarts meself but I – er – got expelled, ter tell yeh the truth. In me third year. They snapped me wand in half an’ everything. But Dumbledore let me stay on as gamekeeper. Great man, Dumbledore.

HARRY POTTER
Why were you expelled?

Hagrid changes the subject.

RUBEUS HAGRID
It’s gettin’ late and we’ve got lots ter do tomorrow. Gotta get up ter town, get all yer books an’ that.

He takes off his coat and hands it to Harry.

RUBEUS HAGRID
You can kip under that. Don’ mind if it wriggles a bit, I think I still got a couple o’ dormice in one o’ the pockets.
  


Blast_ended October 26th, 2007 1:30 pm

Re: Fan Scripts: Remake Harry Potter
 
ArryGrotter, you're film will probably be about 6 hours long... it's simply too long. I suggest you make a lot of cuts. The official version is much better.

I'm write now working on a DH script. It has a lot less cuts then my previous scripts (I ended up including stuff like Lily's letter). I hope you'll enjoy it and give me feedback. here it is:

DH Script - Until Kreacher:    


  
DH

EXT. A STREET

Two men, both dressed in black, are walking together. They both are hooded, and we can't see their face yet.

PERSON 1
News?

The other person takes off his hood, we see it is SEVERUS SNAPE.

SNAPE
The best.

EXT. A STREET (FEW MOMENTS LATER)

The two men are walking until they reach a giant mansion. The other man now have his hood down too – it is YAXLEY. They reach a gate – They both roll back their sleeves to reveal the DARK MARK. They put it near a sensor-like object, and the gate opens.

INT. MALFOY MANSION, DRAWING ROOM

The room is full of people. LORD VOLDEMORT is sitting in the biggest chair. To his sides we can see some familiar faces: DRACO MALFOY, LUCIOS MALFOY, BELLATRIX LESTRANGE, PETER PETTIGREW and some random DEs. an apparently unconscious human figure hanging upside down over the table, revolving slowly as if suspended by an invisible rope. We can't see it's face yet.

LORD VOLDEMORT
Yaxley, Snape – you're late.

YAXLEY
It was a little trickier than I expected.. But I'm glad to announce I have good news, my lord.

SNAPE
I got some good news too, my lord.



LORD VOLDEMORT
So? What's the news?

SNAPE
My Lord, the Order of the Phoenix intends to move Harry Potter from his current place of safety on Saturday next, at nightfall.

LORD VOLDEMORT
Saturday… at nightfall. Good. And this information comes -

SNAPE
– from a very reliable source, my lord.

LORD VOLDEMORT
Where are they going to hide the boy next?

SNAPE
At the home of one of the Order. The place, according to the source, has been given every protection that the Order could provide. I think that there is little chance of taking him once he is there, my Lord.

LORD VOLDEMORT
Very well. If we could not get to him where he's going, we'll get him while he's travelling. Yaxley – I was under the impression you brought some news too.

YAXLEY
I have some good news indeed, my lord. I have – with difficulty, and after great effort – succeeded in placing an Imperius Curse upon Pius Thicknesse.

LORD VOLDEMORT
It is a start, But Thicknesse is only one man. Scrimgeour must be surrounded by our people before we try to kill him.

YAXLEY
Yes – my Lord, that is true – but you know, as Head of the Department of Magical Law Enforcement, Thicknesse has regular contact not only with the Minister himself, but also with the Heads of all the other Ministry departments. It will, I think, be easy now that we have such a high-ranking official under our control, to subjugate the others, and then they can all work together to bring Scrimgeour down.

LORD VOLDEMORT
Very well then, Yaxley.

He suddenly points his wand on the unconscious figure above them; it come backs to life, and we finally sees it's face – it is Ollivander, the wand maker.

LORD VOLDEMORT
Hello, Ollivander.

OLLIVANDER
Please… no… I'll do anything…

LORD VOLDEMORT
That's the spirit, Ollivander. Now I need some information for you…

Music begins. Camera zoom out of the window, and on the skies we see the writing:

HARRY POTTER AND THE DEATHLY HALLOWS.

INT. HARRY'S ROOM

UNCLE VERNON
BOY!!!

Harry looks irritated but goes downstairs.

INT. DURSLEY'S LIVING ROON

All three durselys in the living room.

HARRY
What now? Changed your mind again?

UNCLE VERNON
It can't be real, what you're saying. It's just a plot to capture us and… well, we're not going.

HARRY
Capture you? Not real? Are you actually as stupid as you look? They'll torture you and kill you!!

UNCLE VERNON
Who are they?

HARRY
Voldemort! Death Eatres – his followers. Dementors. Giants. Inferius. You don't want all these at you, don't you?

UNCLE VERNON
But what do they want from us?

HARRY
They are looking for me. They know you are close to me. We suspect they will try to torture you to give them my whereabouts, or hold you as hostages believing I'll come to rescue you.

UNCLE VERNON
So what do you offer?

HARRY
Protection. The best there is. You'll be hidden in much better ways then you can probably imagine, and if Voldemort finds you anyway, then you'll have a whole bunch of wizards trying to defend you.


DUDLEY (SCARED)
Daddy, I'm going with this order lot.

HARRY
Very well then. They'll pick you up in a few minutes.

INT. DURSLEY'S ENTRANCE, LATER

The door is open and two wizards – Dedalous Digel and Hestia Jones stand behind it. The three Dursleys, all with bags in their hands, turn to leave. Harry is looking at them from behind.

UNCLE VERNON
Goodbye then, boy.

HARRY
Bye.

They turn to leave. Petunia hesitate. For a minute it looks like she have something to say… but then she turns away without a word.

INT. DURSLEY'S ENTRANCE, LATER

A knock on the door.

HARRY
Who's there?

MOODY
It's us.

Harry opens the door, and he find Lupin and Moody in the front, both with their wands aimed at him.

LUPIN
What's your Patronous and who taught you to do it?

HARRY
A stag. And it was you who did it.

Both lower their wand.

LUPIN
New security measures. I had to check you're not an impostor.

HARRY
That's fine. Come inside.

The two of them come in, followed by Tonks, Kingsley, Ron, Hermione, Bill, Fleur Fred, George, Ginny, Arthur and Hagrid.

HARRY
I didn't expected so many of you!

MOODY
Change of plan. Voldemort has managed to get a few people inside the ministry. They have way of capturing people who's apparating or using the floo network. We'll have to move in the open.

HARRY
But how are we going to move?

MOODY
Broomstick. Thesthrals. Flying Motorbikes.

HARRY
But if the Death Eaters spot us…

MOODY
I forgot to mention the key point. There will be seven Harry Potters in the sky tonight. You… and six impostors. Each one of us are going to fly into a different safehouse, from which we are going to take a portkey to the borrow. If Death Eaters spot us, they wouldn't know who to attack.

HARRY
NO! I won't put six of you in danger because…

MOODY
You have no choice, son.

LUPIN
And beside, the impostors won't be in danger, because Voldemort want you alive, Harry. The protectors, however…

MOODY
We're all going to be alright if we'll stick to the plan. Let's go now.

EXT. DURSLEY'S OUTSIDE, LATER

People all around Harry drink. While them transform, Hagrid turns to Harry.

HAGRID
You'll be with me, alright Harry? And we'll be flying on Sirius old motorbike. Arthur had installed a few tricks in it, so if the Death Eaters spot us… we'll have a few surprises for them.

Fred and George drink and transform to 2 Harry’s.

FRED & GEORGE
Wow, were identical!

MOODY
OK everybody, here we go!

EXT. FLYING IN THE OPEN

With a great ROAR, The flying motorbike is taking off and going to the sky, followed by everybody else. Hedwig is sitting in a cage near Harry. Suddenly, out of nowhere, loads of death eaters are surrunding them. Four of them are chasing Harry and Hagrid.

HAGRID
We’ll teach them not to mess with us!

He clicks on a red button, and with a great roar a lot of fire is going out of the motorbike’s back, hitting the DE.

HAGRID
That one was my idea.

HARRY
We didn’t get rid of them yet! Look!

A random death eater approach, pointing his wand at them.

DEATH EATER
Avada Ke-

HARRY
Stupifey!

The death eater is frozen, fell of his broom.

HARRY
NO! I didn’t want him to fall down, I don’t want them dead -

HAGRID
He tried to kill ye, Harry! And beside, he’s not dead, he still got his wand, he’ll save himself!

They are flying fast when a second DE approach

DEATH EATER
Avada Kedavra!

The motorcycle takes a sharp turn to avoid the green light, which hits the side of it – Hedwig. Hedwing falls in her cage, dead.

HARRY
NO! HEDWIG! NO!

Harry clicks on the red button himself this time. Fire is going out Sirius motorcycle again.

HAGRID
Hold on Harry!

HARRY
HAGRID! OVER THERE! IT’S HIM! VOLDEMORT...

Camera goes to show Voldemort flying without any suppurt, attacking a nearby pair on a broom.

VOLDEMORT
Avada Kedavra!

His curse hits Mad-Eye Moody full in the face. Moody falls backwards, of his broom and out of sight.

HARRY
NO! MAD-EYE!

Voldemort turns to face them, but Hagrid clicks on the red button again and he dissapear out of sight.

HARRY
Mad-eye...

HAGRID
There’s nothing you can do for him now, Harry. We’ll just have to get ourselves safely.

Another three death eaters block their way.

DEATH EATER
It’s the real Potter! That’s his owl!

HARRY
EXPELIARMUS!

The DE wand is flying out of his hand.

HAGRID
Hold tight Harry, wer’re nearly there!

HARRY
QUICK! IT’S HIM!

Voldemort approach, his wand raised and pointed at Harry.

VOLDEMORT
Avada Kedavra!

Hagrid takes a very sharp turn and the green light miss them. However he falls to the side because the turn is so sharp.

HARRY
HAGRID!

Voldemort turn to Harry again, pointing his wand at Harry – and then he’s hitten in a invisible barrier and stay behind. Harry crashes down. Molly, Fred, Arthur, Kingsley, Bill, Fleur, Hermione, Lupin and Ginny comes from behind them.

MOLLY
Harry! You’re alright?

HARRY
I am, but Hagrid – over there!

Arthur and Kingsley approach him.

ARTHUR
He’s fine!

HARRY
What stopped Voldemort?

MOLLY
Must have been our protecting charms. We worked really hard on them.

HARRY
Oh, and... well, it’s Mad-Eye. He’s dead.

Everybody turn white and pale.

HARRY
Voldemort did it. I saw it.

HERMIONE
Mad-Eye? But he can’t die, he always seemed so tough!

LUPIN
Yeah, but when Voldemort wants to kill you... well, you don’t have a lot of chance. Anyway, Voldemort acted excatly as Mad-Eye suspected he would – he attacked the toughest auror first, believing that Harry will probably be with them.

HARRY
That’s why he got to me and Hagrid so late.

Quiet falls down.
HARRY
Where are Ron, George and Tonks?

MOLLY
Ron and Tonks are not here yet. And George... he’s inside.

HARRY
Is he alright?

LUPIN
He was hit by Snape. He’s fine, but... he lost his ear. Come inside to see him.

INT. THE BURROW

Everybody enters. George is sitting in a chair, with bandage all around his ear.

ARTHUR
How do you feel?

GEORGE
Saint-like.

FRED (PALE)
What? (turns to his mother) Is he okay? Isn’t his mind affected?

GEORGE
I feel holy. Holey. Geddit, Fred? Holey.

FRED (NORMAL AGAIN)
Pathetic! From all the wide world of ear related homour you went with holey?

George laughs.

GEORGE
Where’s the others anyway?

ARTHUR
Mad-eye’s dead.

GEORGE
No! He can’t be...

All fall silent again. A look on Lupin’s pale and worried face.

HARRY
You’re alright, Remus?

LUPIN
Yes, it’s just that... I’m worried for Dora. Tonks, as you call her.

Harry looks confused.

LUPIN
You don’t even know, do you? Didn’t we tell you?

KINGSLEY
Well, we had other things on our mind. Getting Harry in here safely, for example.

LUPIN
Well, Dora and I are getting married.

HARRY
Really? Congratulations!

LUPIN
Thank you, Harry. Here they are, I think!

Tonks and Ron approach, flying on a broom. Both look exhausted with minor injuries on their body.

LUPIN
Dora!

Lupin runs forward and hug his wife. Harry runs to see Ron, but Hermione gets there first and hug him.

LUPIN
What kept you?

TONKS
It’s Bellatrix. She tried very hard to kill me.

FRED
But why would she do that?

Nobody answers. Tonks and Lupin share a very grim look between each other.

TONKS
I’m glad you’re all safe. But where’s Mad-Eye?

LUPIN
He... he was murdered. By Voldemort.

They all fall silent, sharing grim looks.

INT. A DARK ROOM

CUT to a dark room. A old scared man is bowing to an unseen character.

MR. OLLIVANDERS
NO! Please don’t kill me... I’ll do anything...

LORD VOLDEMORT (ANGRY)
Then tell me how to overcome Harry Potter!

MR. OLLIVANDER
I don’t know... Please...

LORD VOLDEMORT
You are no use to me if you don’t know, Ollivander! Perhaps I’ll kill you and finish with it!

MR. OLLIVANDER
NO! Please... I might be able to help you...

LORD VOLDEMORT
You are able, Ollivander. I need information. And you better be able to give it to me…

INT. HARRY’S BEDROOM

We cut to Harry’s bedroom. Harry is lying on the floor, sweating, holding his scar. Ron and Hemrione approach him.

HERMIONE
Harry? What happend? You... you look terrible!

HARRY (SITS UP)
Better than Ollivander, I expect.

RON
Ollivander? The wandmaker? What happend to him?

HARRY
Voldemort’s holding him as a hostage. He’s trying to get information from him.

RON
Information? About what?

HARRY
I don’t know.

Silence fall.
HARRY
When... when are we leaving, then?

RON
Leaving?

HARRY
We got 4 Horcruxes to destroy, and then Voldemort himself!

RON
Right... Remus and Tonks wedding is tommorow. I think we should stay, and then we can leave...

HERMIONE
Fine then. I’ll pack early, just in case we have to make a quick escape.

RON
What about that locket? Wasn't it taken by this guy, RAB?

HERMIONE
Yes, we'll need to find him.

HARRY
But... If you’ll leave with me, you don’t reckon they’ll... they’ll try to attack your family to get information on my whereabout?

HERMIONE
Though of that already. I bewitched my parents to think they are different people, and to make them forget they have a daughter, and they are now in Australia.

HARRY (SHOCKED)
Wow... what about you, Ron? You can’t hide your whole family, can’t you?

RON
No, but I found a solution too. Follow me.

INT. HIGHEST FLOOR ON THE BORROW.

The trio climb the stairs to reach the last bedroom. Ron enter.

RON
This, Harry, is the old family Ghoul.

We see the ghoul, dressed in pyjamas and with red hair.

HARRY
I still don’t get it.
RON
He’s going to be me... with Spattergroit. That’s a really terrible disease, you see. We’re going to put out a word that I’m ill, and when the Death Eaters wil come, we can show them the ghoul.

HARRY
But... it dosen’t look like you at all, Ron.

RON
Well... Spattergroit messes with your skin, so when you have it – you do not look like yourself at all. And it dosen’t matter he can’t talk either, because apparently when you’re sick with it, you can’t talk.

HARRY
It’s brilliant.

INT. BURROW LIVING ROOM, LATER THAT DAY.

The living room is crowded. Everyone comes to hug Harry. Molly Weasley comes forward with a big, snitch-shaped cake.

MOLLY
Happy birthday, Harry!

HARRY
Thank you, Mrs. Weasley.

RON
Where's dad?

MOLLY
He's still at work. He got a lot to do…

Hagrid comes to Harry.


HAGRID
Happy birthday, Harry!

HARRY
Thank you, Hagrid.

HAGRID
Couldn’t think what to get you, but then I found this...

Hands out the pouch.

HAGRID
Put anything in it, and no one but the owner can open it!

HARRY
That’s really cool. Thank you!

Suddenly a Weasel Patronus arrive.

RON
Dad.

PATRONUS
Minister coming with me.

Suddenly Lupin starts moving fast.

LUPIN
I got to go Harry; Sorry, I'll explain later. Come, Dora.

He and Tonks disappears. Arthur Weasley and Rufus Scrimegour enters the borrow.

SCRIMEGOUR
Sorry to intrude, especially as I can see that I am gate-crashing a party. (Turns to harry) Many happy returns.

HARRY
Thanks, minister.

SCRIMEGOUR
I want a private word with you, Harry Potter. Also with Mr. Ronald Weasley and Miss Hermione Granger, If I can.

Arthur opens his mouth to resist; but Harry stops him.

HARRY
Fine.

INT. SITTING ROOM

HARRY
Well then. What did you want?

SCRIMEGOUR
I am here because of the will of Albus Dumbledore. He left the three of you a few items.

RON
You mean… me and Hermione too?

SCRIMEGOUR
Certainly. Would you say you were close to Dumbledore, Ronald?

RON
Me? Not -- not really... It was always Harry who...

Hermione gives him a "Shut up" look.

HERMIONE
You're being modest, Ron. Dumbledore was very fond of you. So what did he left us?

SCRIMEGOUR
To Mr. Ronald Weasley, he left his Deluminator.

RON
The what?

HERMIONE
Deluminator, Ronald. It has the power to suck all the lights from the room. One of Dumbledore's own design.

Scrimegour hand the Deluminator to Ron, who looks at it, stunned.

SCRIMEGOUR
To Ms. Hermione Granger, he left his copy of "The Tales of Beedle the Bard".

Hermione takes the book.

SCRIMEGOUR
This, Mrs. Granger, is a children book. Why did he left you this book?

HERMIONE
He… he knew I like books. Must have though I'll enjoy it.

Scrimegour looks unsatisfied, but goes on.

SCRIMEGOUR
To Harry James Potter, he left… the snitch you caught on your first Quidditch match.

He hands the ball to Harry, who takes it, confused.

SCRIMEGOUR
Why did he left you this Snitch, Mr. Potter? Is there anything you can think of that Dumbledore would like to give you without us knowing?

HARRY
No. Why?

SCRIMEGOUR
Because a snitch is a perfect hiding place for a small object. It remembers the touch of the first person to touch it, and it can bewitched to open itself only to that person. Therefore, no one but you will be able to open that snitch. Take it, Potter.

A dramatic pause. Harry hesitates, but takes the snitch; nothing happens.

SCRIMEGOUR (DISSAPOINTED)
Well then. Dumbledore left you one more thing.

HARRY
What is it?

SCRIMEGOUR
The sword of Godric Gryffindor.

HARRY
Where is it then?

SCRIMEGOUR
Unfortunately that sword was not Dumbledore's to give away. The sword of Godric Gryffindor is an important historical artifact, and as such, belongs to Hogwarts and not do Dumbledore.

HERMIONE
But it's not –

SCRIMEGOUR
I am not here to argue, Miss Granger. I'm afraid I must leave now. I am a busy man, you know.

And with that he turns away, leaving Harry, Ron and Hermione alone.

HERMIONE
Why do you… why do you think Dumbledore left us these objects? The Deluminator? A children book? An old Snitch?

RON
When you took it, Harry, I was sure something was going to happen.

HARRY
Well, yeah… I wasn't going to try too hard in front of Scrimgeour, was I?

HERMIONE
What do you mean?

HARRY
My first Quidditch match, Hermione.

EXT. QUIDDITCH FIELD (FLASHBACK)
Harry, eleven years old, reaches for the snitch, and jumps on it. Minutes later, he spits it from his mouth.

INT. SITTING ROOM
RON
That was the one you nearly swallowed!

HARRY
Yes. And now we shall see...

Harry puts the Snitch in his mouth. Small writing appear on it: I OPEN AT THE CLOSE.

HARRY
I open at the close. But what is the close?

They all fall silent, unknowing.

EXT. BURROW GARDEN

The garden is very decorated (leave that to the decoration people). Harry and Ron, both dressed in dress robes, goes through the wedding, talking with random guests. Suddenly DOBBY approaches, his hands full of food.

DOBBY
Harry Potter!

HARRY
Dobby! What are you doing here?

DOBBY
Working, Harry Potter. Master Lupin and Mistress Tonks hired me as a waitress.

RON
That's great. Better than your last job, anyway.
DOBBY
Yes, Harry Potter. Dobby is still grateful that you released him from the Malfoys! But Dobby got to go now. The ceremony will begin in any second!

HARRY
Bye, Dobby!

With that, he leaves.

EXT. BURROW GARDEN (MOMENTS LATER)

Remus and Tonks are standing on the stage, hand in hand. Between them a little man stands.

LITTLE MAN
I declare you bonded for life.

Everyone applause. Now Luna Lovegood comes, dressed in extremely weird yellow robes.

LUNA
Hello Harry. Hello Ron.

HARRY
Hey Luna. What kept you?

LUNA
One of the garden gnomes bit me (shows him the bite).

RON
That must hurt.

LUNA
It's nothing, really. They are seriously misunderstood creatures, Gnomes. Or to use their correct name - Gernumbli gardensi.

Ron gives a loud snort. A song starts.

LUNA
Oh, I love this song.

She starts to dance, alone, waving her arms.

GINNY (O.S.)
Harry? Can you come here for a moment?

Harry turns to see Ginny looking at him, a determined look on her face.

HARRY
Yeah, fine.
EXT. GARDEN, DESERTED SPOT, HIDDEN BETWEEN BUSHES

Ginny takes Harry by the hand to a hidden spot. She looks at him.

GINNY
You might have noticed, I haven't got you a birthday present.

HARRY
You didn't have to get me anything.

GINNY
I couldn't think what to get you. I wanted something you could take with you… wherever you're going. I though –I'd like you to have something to remember me by, you know, if you meet some veela when you're off.
HARRY
I think dating opportunities are going to be pretty thin on the ground, to be honest.

GINNY
There's the silver lining I've been looking for.

And with that, she kisses him. They kiss for a few seconds, full of desire, then interrupted by sudden panic voices. They break apart.

GINNY
What the - ?

They look back at the garden, where a silver lynx patronus is standing.

PATRONUS
The ministry has fallen. The Minister is dead. They are coming.

EXT. BURROW GARDEN

Everyone panic, and suddenly hooded death eaters are anywhere on the garden, firing spells at everyone. Harry and Ginny comes to help, but Hermione comes quick, moves Harry out of the way.

HERMIONE
They must not know you're here! Come on, we got to escape, I've packed everything, where is Ron? Thank goodness, there he is, come QUICK!

Ron comes, the three of them hold hands.

HERMIONE
One…

- and then a Death Eater see them -

HERMIONE
Two…

He points his wand –

HERMIONE
Three!

They disappear.

EXT. TOTTENHAM COURT ROAD.

The three of them fall in a dark wide street, surrounded by people.

RON
Where are we?

HERMIONE
Tottenham Court Road. First place I could think of.
HARRY
We got to go back, Hermione, what if Voldemort's there, we got to make sure they're safe -

HERMIONE
We can’t worry about that now. It’s you they’re after, Harry, and we’ll just put everyone in even more danger by going back.

They keep walking.

RON
What about our stuff? Our clothes and all?

HERMIONE
It's all here in the bag (points at a small bag).

HARRY
How could possibly so many things could be in there?

HERMIONE
Undetectable Extension Charm. Tricky, but I think I’ve done it okay; anyway, I managed to fit everything we need in here. We need to find a place to change –

RON
Let's just go to the bathrooms of a café or something. Here – there's one over there –

They enter the café.

INT. A CAFE.

Trio go to the bathroom, but before they reach the door 2 Death Eaters blow the door apart. They points their wands at Harry, but Harry hits them first.

HARRY
Stupify!

DE1 falls down.

DE2 aim a curse but misses;

HERMIONE
Petrificus Totalos!

The curse hits him in the chest, and he falls down.

RON
How did they find us?

HERMIONE
I don't know, but that's really worrying. We have to clean after ourselves, then get out of here.

RON
What do you mean, "Clean after ourselves"? You don't mean… kill them, right?

HARRY
No need to. We'll just wipe their memories.

HERMIONE
Fine. Oblivate! Oblivate (At the second DE)!.

They both have a vacant look on their face.

RON
We need a safe place to hide.

HARRY
Grimmauld Place.

HERMIONE
Don't be silly, Snape can get in there!

HARRY
So what? I’d like nothing better than to meet Snape! He killed Dumbledore, remember? And besides, Lupin told me they set all kinds of curses against him, and him only – so he should have a problem getting into the house.

HERMIONE
Fine then. Both of you, take my hand.

They disappear.

INT. GRIMMAULD PLACE.

Trio arrives at Grimmauld Place. The place is quiet, but very, VERY messy.

RON
You don't… you don't think there's anyone else in here, do you?

HERMIONE
We can check. Humanium Revalio!

Nothing happens.

HERMIONE
There's nobody here, then. It's safe.

RON
It looks like someone was here, though.

They walk onto the next room, closing the door behind them.

INT. GRIMMAULD PLACE, MORNING.

The trio lie on the floor, in sleeping bags. Ron and Hermione are asleep, but Harry is awake. He silently gets up, and start walking.

INT. GRIMMAULD PLACE, SIRIUS'S BEDROOM, MORNING.

Harry silently enter Sirius's bedroom, all decorated with Gryffindor colors. There are many pictures of Muggle motorcycles, and also several posters of bikini-clad Muggle girls. On the wall, there is a big picture of 4 people: James, Sirius, Lupin and Pettigrew. They all looks younger and very happy. Harry looks at the picture for a while, then looks at the table, where he sees a little LETTER and a PICTURE; he picks it up.

LILY (V.O.)
Dear Padfoot, Thank you, thank you, for Harry’s birthday present! I'm sorry you couldn't be here, it was very quiet. We had a tea with old Bathilda, she's so nice to us. She has all sorts of stories, and –

HERMIONE (O.S)
Harry?

Harry turns around, sees Hermione looking at him.

HARRY
Hey. Good morning.

HERMIONE
Please don't disappear like that again, me and Ron got really worried.

HARRY
Sorry. Look what I found.

He hands her the letter, which she reads.

HERMIONE
But isn't that your…

HARRY
My mother.

HERMIONE
The signature is gone, though. Someone ripped it off.

HARRY
There's this, too.

He shows her the picture, shows James Potter, Young Harry. The picture is ripped at the side.

HERMIONE
It's ripped too.

HARRY
But why should someone want to rip an old picture of me?

HERMIONE
I don't know, but anyway – we came to tell you something. We found RAB.

INT. GRIMMAULD PLACE, CORRIDOR, MORNING.

Harry and Hermione goes down the stairs, to find Ron inside a room. On the door we see the sign:

Do Not Enter
Without the Express Permission of
Regulus Arcturus Black

HARRY
Sirius's brother?

HERMIONE
It makes sense, doesn't it? He was a death eater once, wasn't he? And then he was died – Voldemort probably killed him because he knew about his Horcruxes!

HARRY
So? Did you find the locket?

RON
I don't think it's here, Harry.

HARRY
Well, there's someone we could ask. Kreacher!

  


ArryGrotter October 26th, 2007 10:22 pm

Re: Fan Scripts: Remake Harry Potter
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by Blast_ended (Post 4824921)
ArryGrotter, you're film will probably be about 6 hours long... it's simply too long. I suggest you make a lot of cuts. The official version is much better.

I think I should say that, 1) I know it is much too long, 2) The scene I just posted (hut on the rock) is NOT my final cut, and I posted it there to see what should be cut (I post final cuts without the expand thing), and 3) in my mind there is no time limit...yet.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Blast_ended (Post 4824921)
I'm write now working on a DH script. It has a lot less cuts then my previous scripts (I ended up including stuff like Lily's letter). I hope you'll enjoy it and give me feedback. here it is:

DH Script - Until Kreacher:    


  
DH

EXT. A STREET

Two men, both dressed in black, are walking together. They both are hooded, and we can't see their face yet.

PERSON 1
News?

The other person takes off his hood, we see it is SEVERUS SNAPE.

SNAPE
The best.

EXT. A STREET (FEW MOMENTS LATER)

The two men are walking until they reach a giant mansion. The other man now have his hood down too – it is YAXLEY. They reach a gate – They both roll back their sleeves to reveal the DARK MARK. They put it near a sensor-like object, and the gate opens.

INT. MALFOY MANSION, DRAWING ROOM

The room is full of people. LORD VOLDEMORT is sitting in the biggest chair. To his sides we can see some familiar faces: DRACO MALFOY, LUCIOS MALFOY, BELLATRIX LESTRANGE, PETER PETTIGREW and some random DEs. an apparently unconscious human figure hanging upside down over the table, revolving slowly as if suspended by an invisible rope. We can't see it's face yet.

LORD VOLDEMORT
Yaxley, Snape – you're late.

YAXLEY
It was a little trickier than I expected.. But I'm glad to announce I have good news, my lord.

SNAPE
I got some good news too, my lord.



LORD VOLDEMORT
So? What's the news?

SNAPE
My Lord, the Order of the Phoenix intends to move Harry Potter from his current place of safety on Saturday next, at nightfall.

LORD VOLDEMORT
Saturday… at nightfall. Good. And this information comes -

SNAPE
– from a very reliable source, my lord.

LORD VOLDEMORT
Where are they going to hide the boy next?

SNAPE
At the home of one of the Order. The place, according to the source, has been given every protection that the Order could provide. I think that there is little chance of taking him once he is there, my Lord.

LORD VOLDEMORT
Very well. If we could not get to him where he's going, we'll get him while he's travelling. Yaxley – I was under the impression you brought some news too.

YAXLEY
I have some good news indeed, my lord. I have – with difficulty, and after great effort – succeeded in placing an Imperius Curse upon Pius Thicknesse.

LORD VOLDEMORT
It is a start, But Thicknesse is only one man. Scrimgeour must be surrounded by our people before we try to kill him.

YAXLEY
Yes – my Lord, that is true – but you know, as Head of the Department of Magical Law Enforcement, Thicknesse has regular contact not only with the Minister himself, but also with the Heads of all the other Ministry departments. It will, I think, be easy now that we have such a high-ranking official under our control, to subjugate the others, and then they can all work together to bring Scrimgeour down.

LORD VOLDEMORT
Very well then, Yaxley.

He suddenly points his wand on the unconscious figure above them; it come backs to life, and we finally sees it's face – it is Ollivander, the wand maker.

LORD VOLDEMORT
Hello, Ollivander.

OLLIVANDER
Please… no… I'll do anything…

LORD VOLDEMORT
That's the spirit, Ollivander. Now I need some information for you…

Music begins. Camera zoom out of the window, and on the skies we see the writing:

HARRY POTTER AND THE DEATHLY HALLOWS.

INT. HARRY'S ROOM

UNCLE VERNON
BOY!!!

Harry looks irritated but goes downstairs.

INT. DURSLEY'S LIVING ROON

All three durselys in the living room.

HARRY
What now? Changed your mind again?

UNCLE VERNON
It can't be real, what you're saying. It's just a plot to capture us and… well, we're not going.

HARRY
Capture you? Not real? Are you actually as stupid as you look? They'll torture you and kill you!!

UNCLE VERNON
Who are they?

HARRY
Voldemort! Death Eatres – his followers. Dementors. Giants. Inferius. You don't want all these at you, don't you?

UNCLE VERNON
But what do they want from us?

HARRY
They are looking for me. They know you are close to me. We suspect they will try to torture you to give them my whereabouts, or hold you as hostages believing I'll come to rescue you.

UNCLE VERNON
So what do you offer?

HARRY
Protection. The best there is. You'll be hidden in much better ways then you can probably imagine, and if Voldemort finds you anyway, then you'll have a whole bunch of wizards trying to defend you.


DUDLEY (SCARED)
Daddy, I'm going with this order lot.

HARRY
Very well then. They'll pick you up in a few minutes.

INT. DURSLEY'S ENTRANCE, LATER

The door is open and two wizards – Dedalous Digel and Hestia Jones stand behind it. The three Dursleys, all with bags in their hands, turn to leave. Harry is looking at them from behind.

UNCLE VERNON
Goodbye then, boy.

HARRY
Bye.

They turn to leave. Petunia hesitate. For a minute it looks like she have something to say… but then she turns away without a word.

INT. DURSLEY'S ENTRANCE, LATER

A knock on the door.

HARRY
Who's there?

MOODY
It's us.

Harry opens the door, and he find Lupin and Moody in the front, both with their wands aimed at him.

LUPIN
What's your Patronous and who taught you to do it?

HARRY
A stag. And it was you who did it.

Both lower their wand.

LUPIN
New security measures. I had to check you're not an impostor.

HARRY
That's fine. Come inside.

The two of them come in, followed by Tonks, Kingsley, Ron, Hermione, Bill, Fleur Fred, George, Ginny, Arthur and Hagrid.

HARRY
I didn't expected so many of you!

MOODY
Change of plan. Voldemort has managed to get a few people inside the ministry. They have way of capturing people who's apparating or using the floo network. We'll have to move in the open.

HARRY
But how are we going to move?

MOODY
Broomstick. Thesthrals. Flying Motorbikes.

HARRY
But if the Death Eaters spot us…

MOODY
I forgot to mention the key point. There will be seven Harry Potters in the sky tonight. You… and six impostors. Each one of us are going to fly into a different safehouse, from which we are going to take a portkey to the borrow. If Death Eaters spot us, they wouldn't know who to attack.

HARRY
NO! I won't put six of you in danger because…

MOODY
You have no choice, son.

LUPIN
And beside, the impostors won't be in danger, because Voldemort want you alive, Harry. The protectors, however…

MOODY
We're all going to be alright if we'll stick to the plan. Let's go now.

EXT. DURSLEY'S OUTSIDE, LATER

People all around Harry drink. While them transform, Hagrid turns to Harry.

HAGRID
You'll be with me, alright Harry? And we'll be flying on Sirius old motorbike. Arthur had installed a few tricks in it, so if the Death Eaters spot us… we'll have a few surprises for them.

Fred and George drink and transform to 2 Harry’s.

FRED & GEORGE
Wow, were identical!

MOODY
OK everybody, here we go!

EXT. FLYING IN THE OPEN

With a great ROAR, The flying motorbike is taking off and going to the sky, followed by everybody else. Hedwig is sitting in a cage near Harry. Suddenly, out of nowhere, loads of death eaters are surrunding them. Four of them are chasing Harry and Hagrid.

HAGRID
We’ll teach them not to mess with us!

He clicks on a red button, and with a great roar a lot of fire is going out of the motorbike’s back, hitting the DE.

HAGRID
That one was my idea.

HARRY
We didn’t get rid of them yet! Look!

A random death eater approach, pointing his wand at them.

DEATH EATER
Avada Ke-

HARRY
Stupifey!

The death eater is frozen, fell of his broom.

HARRY
NO! I didn’t want him to fall down, I don’t want them dead -

HAGRID
He tried to kill ye, Harry! And beside, he’s not dead, he still got his wand, he’ll save himself!

They are flying fast when a second DE approach

DEATH EATER
Avada Kedavra!

The motorcycle takes a sharp turn to avoid the green light, which hits the side of it – Hedwig. Hedwing falls in her cage, dead.

HARRY
NO! HEDWIG! NO!

Harry clicks on the red button himself this time. Fire is going out Sirius motorcycle again.

HAGRID
Hold on Harry!

HARRY
HAGRID! OVER THERE! IT’S HIM! VOLDEMORT...

Camera goes to show Voldemort flying without any suppurt, attacking a nearby pair on a broom.

VOLDEMORT
Avada Kedavra!

His curse hits Mad-Eye Moody full in the face. Moody falls backwards, of his broom and out of sight.

HARRY
NO! MAD-EYE!

Voldemort turns to face them, but Hagrid clicks on the red button again and he dissapear out of sight.

HARRY
Mad-eye...

HAGRID
There’s nothing you can do for him now, Harry. We’ll just have to get ourselves safely.

Another three death eaters block their way.

DEATH EATER
It’s the real Potter! That’s his owl!

HARRY
EXPELIARMUS!

The DE wand is flying out of his hand.

HAGRID
Hold tight Harry, wer’re nearly there!

HARRY
QUICK! IT’S HIM!

Voldemort approach, his wand raised and pointed at Harry.

VOLDEMORT
Avada Kedavra!

Hagrid takes a very sharp turn and the green light miss them. However he falls to the side because the turn is so sharp.

HARRY
HAGRID!

Voldemort turn to Harry again, pointing his wand at Harry – and then he’s hitten in a invisible barrier and stay behind. Harry crashes down. Molly, Fred, Arthur, Kingsley, Bill, Fleur, Hermione, Lupin and Ginny comes from behind them.

MOLLY
Harry! You’re alright?

HARRY
I am, but Hagrid – over there!

Arthur and Kingsley approach him.

ARTHUR
He’s fine!

HARRY
What stopped Voldemort?

MOLLY
Must have been our protecting charms. We worked really hard on them.

HARRY
Oh, and... well, it’s Mad-Eye. He’s dead.

Everybody turn white and pale.

HARRY
Voldemort did it. I saw it.

HERMIONE
Mad-Eye? But he can’t die, he always seemed so tough!

LUPIN
Yeah, but when Voldemort wants to kill you... well, you don’t have a lot of chance. Anyway, Voldemort acted excatly as Mad-Eye suspected he would – he attacked the toughest auror first, believing that Harry will probably be with them.

HARRY
That’s why he got to me and Hagrid so late.

Quiet falls down.
HARRY
Where are Ron, George and Tonks?

MOLLY
Ron and Tonks are not here yet. And George... he’s inside.

HARRY
Is he alright?

LUPIN
He was hit by Snape. He’s fine, but... he lost his ear. Come inside to see him.

INT. THE BURROW

Everybody enters. George is sitting in a chair, with bandage all around his ear.

ARTHUR
How do you feel?

GEORGE
Saint-like.

FRED (PALE)
What? (turns to his mother) Is he okay? Isn’t his mind affected?

GEORGE
I feel holy. Holey. Geddit, Fred? Holey.

FRED (NORMAL AGAIN)
Pathetic! From all the wide world of ear related homour you went with holey?

George laughs.

GEORGE
Where’s the others anyway?

ARTHUR
Mad-eye’s dead.

GEORGE
No! He can’t be...

All fall silent again. A look on Lupin’s pale and worried face.

HARRY
You’re alright, Remus?

LUPIN
Yes, it’s just that... I’m worried for Dora. Tonks, as you call her.

Harry looks confused.

LUPIN
You don’t even know, do you? Didn’t we tell you?

KINGSLEY
Well, we had other things on our mind. Getting Harry in here safely, for example.

LUPIN
Well, Dora and I are getting married.

HARRY
Really? Congratulations!

LUPIN
Thank you, Harry. Here they are, I think!

Tonks and Ron approach, flying on a broom. Both look exhausted with minor injuries on their body.

LUPIN
Dora!

Lupin runs forward and hug his wife. Harry runs to see Ron, but Hermione gets there first and hug him.

LUPIN
What kept you?

TONKS
It’s Bellatrix. She tried very hard to kill me.

FRED
But why would she do that?

Nobody answers. Tonks and Lupin share a very grim look between each other.

TONKS
I’m glad you’re all safe. But where’s Mad-Eye?

LUPIN
He... he was murdered. By Voldemort.

They all fall silent, sharing grim looks.

INT. A DARK ROOM

CUT to a dark room. A old scared man is bowing to an unseen character.

MR. OLLIVANDERS
NO! Please don’t kill me... I’ll do anything...

LORD VOLDEMORT (ANGRY)
Then tell me how to overcome Harry Potter!

MR. OLLIVANDER
I don’t know... Please...

LORD VOLDEMORT
You are no use to me if you don’t know, Ollivander! Perhaps I’ll kill you and finish with it!

MR. OLLIVANDER
NO! Please... I might be able to help you...

LORD VOLDEMORT
You are able, Ollivander. I need information. And you better be able to give it to me…

INT. HARRY’S BEDROOM

We cut to Harry’s bedroom. Harry is lying on the floor, sweating, holding his scar. Ron and Hemrione approach him.

HERMIONE
Harry? What happend? You... you look terrible!

HARRY (SITS UP)
Better than Ollivander, I expect.

RON
Ollivander? The wandmaker? What happend to him?

HARRY
Voldemort’s holding him as a hostage. He’s trying to get information from him.

RON
Information? About what?

HARRY
I don’t know.

Silence fall.
HARRY
When... when are we leaving, then?

RON
Leaving?

HARRY
We got 4 Horcruxes to destroy, and then Voldemort himself!

RON
Right... Remus and Tonks wedding is tommorow. I think we should stay, and then we can leave...

HERMIONE
Fine then. I’ll pack early, just in case we have to make a quick escape.

RON
What about that locket? Wasn't it taken by this guy, RAB?

HERMIONE
Yes, we'll need to find him.

HARRY
But... If you’ll leave with me, you don’t reckon they’ll... they’ll try to attack your family to get information on my whereabout?

HERMIONE
Though of that already. I bewitched my parents to think they are different people, and to make them forget they have a daughter, and they are now in Australia.

HARRY (SHOCKED)
Wow... what about you, Ron? You can’t hide your whole family, can’t you?

RON
No, but I found a solution too. Follow me.

INT. HIGHEST FLOOR ON THE BORROW.

The trio climb the stairs to reach the last bedroom. Ron enter.

RON
This, Harry, is the old family Ghoul.

We see the ghoul, dressed in pyjamas and with red hair.

HARRY
I still don’t get it.
RON
He’s going to be me... with Spattergroit. That’s a really terrible disease, you see. We’re going to put out a word that I’m ill, and when the Death Eaters wil come, we can show them the ghoul.

HARRY
But... it dosen’t look like you at all, Ron.

RON
Well... Spattergroit messes with your skin, so when you have it – you do not look like yourself at all. And it dosen’t matter he can’t talk either, because apparently when you’re sick with it, you can’t talk.

HARRY
It’s brilliant.

INT. BURROW LIVING ROOM, LATER THAT DAY.

The living room is crowded. Everyone comes to hug Harry. Molly Weasley comes forward with a big, snitch-shaped cake.

MOLLY
Happy birthday, Harry!

HARRY
Thank you, Mrs. Weasley.

RON
Where's dad?

MOLLY
He's still at work. He got a lot to do…

Hagrid comes to Harry.


HAGRID
Happy birthday, Harry!

HARRY
Thank you, Hagrid.

HAGRID
Couldn’t think what to get you, but then I found this...

Hands out the pouch.

HAGRID
Put anything in it, and no one but the owner can open it!

HARRY
That’s really cool. Thank you!

Suddenly a Weasel Patronus arrive.

RON
Dad.

PATRONUS
Minister coming with me.

Suddenly Lupin starts moving fast.

LUPIN
I got to go Harry; Sorry, I'll explain later. Come, Dora.

He and Tonks disappears. Arthur Weasley and Rufus Scrimegour enters the borrow.

SCRIMEGOUR
Sorry to intrude, especially as I can see that I am gate-crashing a party. (Turns to harry) Many happy returns.

HARRY
Thanks, minister.

SCRIMEGOUR
I want a private word with you, Harry Potter. Also with Mr. Ronald Weasley and Miss Hermione Granger, If I can.

Arthur opens his mouth to resist; but Harry stops him.

HARRY
Fine.

INT. SITTING ROOM

HARRY
Well then. What did you want?

SCRIMEGOUR
I am here because of the will of Albus Dumbledore. He left the three of you a few items.

RON
You mean… me and Hermione too?

SCRIMEGOUR
Certainly. Would you say you were close to Dumbledore, Ronald?

RON
Me? Not -- not really... It was always Harry who...

Hermione gives him a "Shut up" look.

HERMIONE
You're being modest, Ron. Dumbledore was very fond of you. So what did he left us?

SCRIMEGOUR
To Mr. Ronald Weasley, he left his Deluminator.

RON
The what?

HERMIONE
Deluminator, Ronald. It has the power to suck all the lights from the room. One of Dumbledore's own design.

Scrimegour hand the Deluminator to Ron, who looks at it, stunned.

SCRIMEGOUR
To Ms. Hermione Granger, he left his copy of "The Tales of Beedle the Bard".

Hermione takes the book.

SCRIMEGOUR
This, Mrs. Granger, is a children book. Why did he left you this book?

HERMIONE
He… he knew I like books. Must have though I'll enjoy it.

Scrimegour looks unsatisfied, but goes on.

SCRIMEGOUR
To Harry James Potter, he left… the snitch you caught on your first Quidditch match.

He hands the ball to Harry, who takes it, confused.

SCRIMEGOUR
Why did he left you this Snitch, Mr. Potter? Is there anything you can think of that Dumbledore would like to give you without us knowing?

HARRY
No. Why?

SCRIMEGOUR
Because a snitch is a perfect hiding place for a small object. It remembers the touch of the first person to touch it, and it can bewitched to open itself only to that person. Therefore, no one but you will be able to open that snitch. Take it, Potter.

A dramatic pause. Harry hesitates, but takes the snitch; nothing happens.

SCRIMEGOUR (DISSAPOINTED)
Well then. Dumbledore left you one more thing.

HARRY
What is it?

SCRIMEGOUR
The sword of Godric Gryffindor.

HARRY
Where is it then?

SCRIMEGOUR
Unfortunately that sword was not Dumbledore's to give away. The sword of Godric Gryffindor is an important historical artifact, and as such, belongs to Hogwarts and not do Dumbledore.

HERMIONE
But it's not –

SCRIMEGOUR
I am not here to argue, Miss Granger. I'm afraid I must leave now. I am a busy man, you know.

And with that he turns away, leaving Harry, Ron and Hermione alone.

HERMIONE
Why do you… why do you think Dumbledore left us these objects? The Deluminator? A children book? An old Snitch?

RON
When you took it, Harry, I was sure something was going to happen.

HARRY
Well, yeah… I wasn't going to try too hard in front of Scrimgeour, was I?

HERMIONE
What do you mean?

HARRY
My first Quidditch match, Hermione.

EXT. QUIDDITCH FIELD (FLASHBACK)
Harry, eleven years old, reaches for the snitch, and jumps on it. Minutes later, he spits it from his mouth.

INT. SITTING ROOM
RON
That was the one you nearly swallowed!

HARRY
Yes. And now we shall see...

Harry puts the Snitch in his mouth. Small writing appear on it: I OPEN AT THE CLOSE.

HARRY
I open at the close. But what is the close?

They all fall silent, unknowing.

EXT. BURROW GARDEN

The garden is very decorated (leave that to the decoration people). Harry and Ron, both dressed in dress robes, goes through the wedding, talking with random guests. Suddenly DOBBY approaches, his hands full of food.

DOBBY
Harry Potter!

HARRY
Dobby! What are you doing here?

DOBBY
Working, Harry Potter. Master Lupin and Mistress Tonks hired me as a waitress.

RON
That's great. Better than your last job, anyway.
DOBBY
Yes, Harry Potter. Dobby is still grateful that you released him from the Malfoys! But Dobby got to go now. The ceremony will begin in any second!

HARRY
Bye, Dobby!

With that, he leaves.

EXT. BURROW GARDEN (MOMENTS LATER)

Remus and Tonks are standing on the stage, hand in hand. Between them a little man stands.

LITTLE MAN
I declare you bonded for life.

Everyone applause. Now Luna Lovegood comes, dressed in extremely weird yellow robes.

LUNA
Hello Harry. Hello Ron.

HARRY
Hey Luna. What kept you?

LUNA
One of the garden gnomes bit me (shows him the bite).

RON
That must hurt.

LUNA
It's nothing, really. They are seriously misunderstood creatures, Gnomes. Or to use their correct name - Gernumbli gardensi.

Ron gives a loud snort. A song starts.

LUNA
Oh, I love this song.

She starts to dance, alone, waving her arms.

GINNY (O.S.)
Harry? Can you come here for a moment?

Harry turns to see Ginny looking at him, a determined look on her face.

HARRY
Yeah, fine.
EXT. GARDEN, DESERTED SPOT, HIDDEN BETWEEN BUSHES

Ginny takes Harry by the hand to a hidden spot. She looks at him.

GINNY
You might have noticed, I haven't got you a birthday present.

HARRY
You didn't have to get me anything.

GINNY
I couldn't think what to get you. I wanted something you could take with you… wherever you're going. I though –I'd like you to have something to remember me by, you know, if you meet some veela when you're off.
HARRY
I think dating opportunities are going to be pretty thin on the ground, to be honest.

GINNY
There's the silver lining I've been looking for.

And with that, she kisses him. They kiss for a few seconds, full of desire, then interrupted by sudden panic voices. They break apart.

GINNY
What the - ?

They look back at the garden, where a silver lynx patronus is standing.

PATRONUS
The ministry has fallen. The Minister is dead. They are coming.

EXT. BURROW GARDEN

Everyone panic, and suddenly hooded death eaters are anywhere on the garden, firing spells at everyone. Harry and Ginny comes to help, but Hermione comes quick, moves Harry out of the way.

HERMIONE
They must not know you're here! Come on, we got to escape, I've packed everything, where is Ron? Thank goodness, there he is, come QUICK!

Ron comes, the three of them hold hands.

HERMIONE
One…

- and then a Death Eater see them -

HERMIONE
Two…

He points his wand –

HERMIONE
Three!

They disappear.

EXT. TOTTENHAM COURT ROAD.

The three of them fall in a dark wide street, surrounded by people.

RON
Where are we?

HERMIONE
Tottenham Court Road. First place I could think of.
HARRY
We got to go back, Hermione, what if Voldemort's there, we got to make sure they're safe -

HERMIONE
We can’t worry about that now. It’s you they’re after, Harry, and we’ll just put everyone in even more danger by going back.

They keep walking.

RON
What about our stuff? Our clothes and all?

HERMIONE
It's all here in the bag (points at a small bag).

HARRY
How could possibly so many things could be in there?

HERMIONE
Undetectable Extension Charm. Tricky, but I think I’ve done it okay; anyway, I managed to fit everything we need in here. We need to find a place to change –

RON
Let's just go to the bathrooms of a café or something. Here – there's one over there –

They enter the café.

INT. A CAFE.

Trio go to the bathroom, but before they reach the door 2 Death Eaters blow the door apart. They points their wands at Harry, but Harry hits them first.

HARRY
Stupify!

DE1 falls down.

DE2 aim a curse but misses;

HERMIONE
Petrificus Totalos!

The curse hits him in the chest, and he falls down.

RON
How did they find us?

HERMIONE
I don't know, but that's really worrying. We have to clean after ourselves, then get out of here.

RON
What do you mean, "Clean after ourselves"? You don't mean… kill them, right?

HARRY
No need to. We'll just wipe their memories.

HERMIONE
Fine. Oblivate! Oblivate (At the second DE)!.

They both have a vacant look on their face.

RON
We need a safe place to hide.

HARRY
Grimmauld Place.

HERMIONE
Don't be silly, Snape can get in there!

HARRY
So what? I’d like nothing better than to meet Snape! He killed Dumbledore, remember? And besides, Lupin told me they set all kinds of curses against him, and him only – so he should have a problem getting into the house.

HERMIONE
Fine then. Both of you, take my hand.

They disappear.

INT. GRIMMAULD PLACE.

Trio arrives at Grimmauld Place. The place is quiet, but very, VERY messy.

RON
You don't… you don't think there's anyone else in here, do you?

HERMIONE
We can check. Humanium Revalio!

Nothing happens.

HERMIONE
There's nobody here, then. It's safe.

RON
It looks like someone was here, though.

They walk onto the next room, closing the door behind them.

INT. GRIMMAULD PLACE, MORNING.

The trio lie on the floor, in sleeping bags. Ron and Hermione are asleep, but Harry is awake. He silently gets up, and start walking.

INT. GRIMMAULD PLACE, SIRIUS'S BEDROOM, MORNING.

Harry silently enter Sirius's bedroom, all decorated with Gryffindor colors. There are many pictures of Muggle motorcycles, and also several posters of bikini-clad Muggle girls. On the wall, there is a big picture of 4 people: James, Sirius, Lupin and Pettigrew. They all looks younger and very happy. Harry looks at the picture for a while, then looks at the table, where he sees a little LETTER and a PICTURE; he picks it up.

LILY (V.O.)
Dear Padfoot, Thank you, thank you, for Harry’s birthday present! I'm sorry you couldn't be here, it was very quiet. We had a tea with old Bathilda, she's so nice to us. She has all sorts of stories, and –

HERMIONE (O.S)
Harry?

Harry turns around, sees Hermione looking at him.

HARRY
Hey. Good morning.

HERMIONE
Please don't disappear like that again, me and Ron got really worried.

HARRY
Sorry. Look what I found.

He hands her the letter, which she reads.

HERMIONE
But isn't that your…

HARRY
My mother.

HERMIONE
The signature is gone, though. Someone ripped it off.

HARRY
There's this, too.

He shows her the picture, shows James Potter, Young Harry. The picture is ripped at the side.

HERMIONE
It's ripped too.

HARRY
But why should someone want to rip an old picture of me?

HERMIONE
I don't know, but anyway – we came to tell you something. We found RAB.

INT. GRIMMAULD PLACE, CORRIDOR, MORNING.

Harry and Hermione goes down the stairs, to find Ron inside a room. On the door we see the sign:

Do Not Enter
Without the Express Permission of
Regulus Arcturus Black

HARRY
Sirius's brother?

HERMIONE
It makes sense, doesn't it? He was a death eater once, wasn't he? And then he was died – Voldemort probably killed him because he knew about his Horcruxes!

HARRY
So? Did you find the locket?

RON
I don't think it's here, Harry.

HARRY
Well, there's someone we could ask. Kreacher!

  


I like this to a large extent.
Things I didn't like:
The cut from "I want some info, Olivander" to the title was weird (but got understanderable slightly later.)
Dobby the WAITRESS??:err: (Waiter)

I did like the adaption for T___ Court Road (Can't remember what it's called) and many other things as well.

ArryGrotter October 28th, 2007 1:19 am

Re: Fan Scripts: Remake Harry Potter
 
I've cut this scene a bit, but am unsure what else to cut. I wanted to cut the food, but couldn't figure out how. Help?
PS:Hut-on-the-rock Some cuts but more needed:    


  
PS: The Keeper of the KeysINT. HUT-ON-THE-ROCK - MIDNIGHT (30/7/1991)

Harry tries to keep warm, lying on the stone floor, under the thin blanket that is over him. Snores fill the room. Dudley is sleeping on the couch. THUNDER. Harry turns over to were he has written "Happy Birthday" in the dust. He put a circle around it, making a cake. He looks at Dudley's watch, which danging over the edge of the couch, on his wrist. 11:58pm. He turns back to his cake, he marks in the candles, and remembers...

FADES TO:

INT. KiTCHEN - 4 PRIVET DRIVE - MORNING (FLASHBACK) (31/7/1990)

Vernon hands Harry a coat-hanger and a pair of mustard socks.

VERNON DURSLEY
There you go.

FADES TO:

INT. HUT-ON-THE-ROCK - MIDNIGHT (30-31/7/1991)

Ten candles. Eleven. Harry looks at the cake quite sombre. He turns to Dudley's watch. 11:59:56. :57. :58. :59. BOOM. The door shudders. BOOM. And again. Harry stands up. Dudley has woken up, looking around, scared.

DUDLEY DURSLEY
Where's the cannon?

Vernon comes into the room, holding a rifle, Petunia bringing up his rear.

VERNON DURSLEY
Who's there? I warn you, I'm armed!

SMASH. The door falls down and RUBEUS HAGRID walks in. He says cheerfully...

RUBEUS HAGRID
Couldn’t make us a cup o’ tea, could yeh? It’s not been an easy journey…

He picks up the door and puts it back in its place. Petunia and Vernon simply look at each other. Hagrid moves toward the couch where Dudley is paralyzed with shock.

RUBEUS HAGRID
Budge up, yeh great lump.

Dudley quickly gets off the couch and cowers behind his parents. Hagrid looks at Harry.

RUBEUS HAGRID
And here's Harry! Yeh look a lot like yer dad, but yeh’ve got yer mum’s eyes.

Vernon gets his confidence back, gripping the rifle tight again.

VERNON DURSLEY
I demand that you leave at once, sir! You are breaking and entering!

RUBEUS HAGRID
Ah, shut up, Dursley, yeh great prune.

He turns and takes the rifle from Vernon. He then easily bends it into a knot and throws it into a corner. Vernon makes a noise like a mouse being trodden on.

RUBEUS HAGRID
Anyway. Harry, a very happy birthday to yeh. Got summat fer yeh here. I mighta sat on it at some point, but it’ll taste all right.

Hagrid pulls a squashed box and hands it to Harry, who opens in to find a cake with "Happy Birthday Harry" written on it. Harry looks up at Hagrid, confused.

HARRY POTTER
Who are you?

RUBEUS HAGRID
(Chuckling)
True, I haven’t introduced meself. Rubeus Hagrid, Keeper of Keys and Grounds at Hogwarts.

Hagrid holds out his hand then shakes Harry's arm.

RUBEUS HAGRID
What about that tea then, eh?

His eyes find the empty fireplace where chip packets lay shrivelled. He snorts, then bends over it and when he stands up again, the fireplace is ablaze. Hagrid takes a kettle, sausages, a poker, a teapot, and some mugs and begins to make tea and cook sausages.

VERNON DURSLEY
Don’t touch anything he gives you, Dudley.

RUBEUS HAGRID
Yer great puddin’ of a son don’ need fattenin’ anymore, Dursley, don’ worry.

Hagrid passes a cooked sausage to Harry, who eats it hungrily, yet doesn't look away from Hagrid. When he is finished, he says.

HARRY POTTER
I’m sorry, but I still don’t really know who you are.

RUBEUS HAGRID
Call me Hagrid, everyone does. An’ like I told yeh, I’m Keeper of Keys at Hogwarts – yeh’ll know all about Hogwarts, o’ course.

HARRY POTTER
Er – no.

Hagrid looks shocked

HARRY POTTER
Sorry

RUBEUS HAGRID
Sorry?
(He looks at the Dursleys)
It’s them as should be sorry! I knew yeh weren’t gettin’ yer letters but I never thought yeh wouldn’t even know abou’ Hogwarts! Did yeh never wonder where yet parents learned it all?

HARRY POTTER
All what?

RUBEUS HAGRID
All what! Now wait jus’ one second!
(He now stands up and the Dursleys cower)
Do you mean ter tell me, that this boy knows nothin’ about ANYTHING?

Hagrid looks back to Harry.

RUBEUS HAGRID
Yeh don’ know ... yeh don’ know ... yeh don’ know what yeh are?

Vernon suddenly steps out.

VERNON DURSLEY
Stop! Stop right there! I forbid you to tell the boy anything!

Hagrid turns on Vernon.

RUBEUS HAGRID
You never told him what was in the letter Dumbledore left fer him? I saw Dumbledore leave it, Dursley! An’ you’ve kept it from him all these years?

HARRY POTTER
Kept what from me?

VERNON DURSLEY
STOP! I FORBID YOU!

Petunia gives a gasp from the corner.

RUBEUS HAGRID
Ah, go boil yet heads, both of yeh. Harry – yer a wizard.

Complete silence.

HARRY POTTER
I’m a what?

RUBEUS HAGRID
A wizard, o’ course, an’ a thumpin’ good’un, I’d say, once yeh’ve been trained up a bit. With a mum an’ dad like yours, what else would yeh be?

From his pocket Hagrid extracts another letter. He passes it to Harry. Harry opens it. It says: "HOGWARTS SCHOOL OF WITCHCRAFT AND WIZARDRY, Headmaster: Albus Dumbledore, (Order of Merlin, First Class, Grand Sorc., Chf. Warlock, Supreme Mugwump, International Confed. of Wizards), Dear Mr Potter, We are pleased to inform you that you have been accepted at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. Please find enclosed a list of all necessary books and equipment. Term begins on September 1. We await your owl by no later than July 31. Yours sincerely, Minerva McGonagall, Deputy Headmistress." Harry reads:

HARRY POTTER
(O.S., voice shaking)
Dear Mr Potter, We are pleased to inform you that you have been accepted at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. Please find enclosed a list of all necessary books and equipment. Term begins on September 1. We await your owl by no later than July 31.

Harry closes the letter, shocked. After a while he says...

HARRY POTTER
What does it mean, they await my owl?

RUBEUS HAGRID
Gallopin’ Gorgons, that reminds me.

From another pocket he pulls a real live owl, a quill and a piece of parchment. He scribbles a note, ties it to the owls leg, and throws the owl out the window. Harry stands there with his mouth open.

RUBEUS HAGRID
Where was I?
Vernon moves forward again.

VERNON DURSLEY
He's not going.

RUBEUS HAGRID
I’d like ter see a great Muggle like you stop him.

HARRY POTTER
A what?

RUBEUS HAGRID
A Muggle, it's what we call non-magic folk like them. An’ it’s your bad luck you grew up in a family o’ the biggest Muggles I ever laid eyes on.

VERNON DURSLEY
We swore when we took him in we’d put a stop to that rubbish! Wizard indeed!

HARRY POTTER
You knew? You knew I’m a – a wizard?

PETUNIA DURSLEY
Knew! Knew! Of course we knew! How could you not be, my dratted sister being what she was? Oh, she got a letter just like that and disappeared off to that - that school. I was the only one who saw her for what she was – a freak! But for my mother and father, oh no, they were proud of having a witch in the family! Then she met that Potter at that school, left, got married, and had you, and of course I knew you’d be just the same, just as – as – abnormal – and then she went and got herself blown up and we got landed with you!

HARRY POTTER
Blown up? You told me they died in a car crash!

RUBEUS HAGRID
CAR CRASH! How could a car crash kill Lily an’ James Potter? It’s an outrage! A scandal! Harry Potter not knowin’ his own story when every kid in our world knows his name!

HARRY POTTER
But why? What happened?

RUBEUS HAGRID
I had no idea, how much yeh would’t know. I don’ know if I’m the right person ter tell yeh – but someone’s gotta – yeh can’t go off ter Hogwarts not knowin’.
(He looks angrily at the Dursleys)
It begins, I suppose, with - with a person called – but it’s incredible yeh don’t know his name, everyone in our world knows –

HARRY POTTER
Who?

RUBEUS HAGRID
Well – I don’ like sayin’ the name if I can help it. No one does.

HARRY POTTER
Why not?

RUBEUS HAGRID
Gulpin’ gargoyles, Harry, people are still scared. See, there was this wizard who went ... bad. As bad as you could go. Worse. Worse than worse. His name was...

Hagrid gulps.

HARRY POTTER
Could you write it down?

RUBEUS HAGRID
Nah – can’t spell it. All right – Voldemort. Don’ make me say it again. Anyway, You-Know-Who, about twenty years ago now, started lookin’ fer followers. Some were afraid, some just wanted a bit o’ his power. Dark days, Harry. Didn’t know who ter trust. Terrible things happened. He was takin’ over. ‘Course, some stood up to him – an’ he killed ‘em. Horribly. One o’ the only safe places left was Hogwarts. Reckon Dumbledore’s the only one You-Know-Who was afraid of. Didn’t dare try takin’ the school. Now, yer mum an’ dad were as good a witch an’ wizard as I ever knew.
(Pause)
All anyone knows is, You-Know-Who turned up in the Godric's Hollow, the village where you was all living, on Halloween ten years ago. You was just a year old. He came ter yer house an’ – an’ –

Hagrid pulls out his handkerchief and blows his nose.

RUBEUS HAGRID
You-Know-Who killed ‘em. An’ then – an’ this is the real myst’ry of the thing – he tried to kill you, too. But he couldn’t do it. Never wondered how you got that mark on yer forehead? That was no ordinary cut. That’s what yeh get when a powerful, evil curse touches yeh. An’ that’s why yer famous, Harry. No one ever lived after he decided ter kill ‘em, no one except you.

Harry looks away from Hagrid and the screen fills with green light and a high, cold laugh is heard.

VERNON DURSLEY
Load of tosh.
Vernon steps forward once again.

VERNON DURSLEY
I accept there’s something strange about you, probably nothing a good beating wouldn’t have cured – and as for your parents, well, they were weirdos, and the world’s better off without them in my opinion – asked for all they got, getting mixed up with these wizarding types – always knew they’d come to a sticky end –

Suddenly Hagrid leaps from the couch and draws a pink umbrella in front of Vernon.

RUBEUS HAGRID
I’m warning you, Dursley – one more word...

Vernon looks rather scared by the umbrella and draws back. Hagrid sits back on the couch.

HARRY POTTER
But what happened to Vol – sorry – I mean, You-Know-Who?

RUBEUS HAGRID
Disappeared. Vanished. Same night he tried ter kill you. Makes yeh even more famous. That’s the biggest myst’ry, see … he was gettin’ more an’ more powerful – why’d he go? Some say he died. Codswallop, in my opinion. Dunno if he had enough human left in him to die. Some say he’s still out there, bidin’ his time, but I don’ believe it. Most of us reckon he’s still out there somewhere but lost his powers. Too weak to carry on. There was somethin’ goin’ on that night he hadn’t counted on – I dunno what it was, no one does - but somethin’ about you stumped him, all right.

Harry looks into Hagrid's warm eyes, which are respecting him. Harry's green eyes are confused.

HARRY POTTER
Hagrid, I think you must have made a mistake. I don’t think I can be a wizard.

RUBEUS HAGRID
Not a wizard, eh? Never made things happen when you was scared or angry?

Harry looks into the fire remembers something.

SNAKE
(V.O.)
Brazil, here I come … Thanksss, amigo.

Harry looks back at Hagrid, to see him smiling back at him.

RUBEUS HAGRID
See? Harry Potter, not a wizard – you wait, you’ll be right famous at Hogwarts.

VERNON DURSLEY
Haven’t I told you he’s not going? I’ve read those letters and he needs all sorts of rubbish -

RUBEUS HAGRID
If he wants ter go, a great Muggle like you won’t stop him. His name’s been down ever since he was born. He’s off ter the finest school of witchcraft and wizardry in the world. He’ll be with youngsters of his own sort, fer a change, an’ he’ll be under the greatest headmaster Hogwarts ever had, Albus Dumbled –

VERNON DURSLEY
I AM NOT PAYING FOR SOME CRACKPOT OLD FOOL TO TEACH HIM MAGIC TRICKS!

Hagrid takes out his umbrella again.

RUBEUS HAGRID
NEVER – INSULT – ALBUS – DUMBLEDORE – IN – FRONT – OF – ME!

He points the umbrella at Dudley. A flash of violet light. A squeal of pain. Dudley hops around, holding his buttocks. A pig's tail is seen between them. The Dursleys rush into the other room.

RUBEUS HAGRID
Shouldn’ta lost me temper, but it didn’t work anyway. I suppose he was so much like a pig there wasn’t much left ter do.

Hagrid looks at Harry.

RUBEUS HAGRID
Be grateful if yeh didn’t mention that ter anyone at Hogwarts. I’m – er – not supposed ter do magic, strictly speakin’.

HARRY POTTER
Why aren’t you supposed to do magic?

RUBEUS HAGRID
Oh, well – I was at Hogwarts meself but I – er – got expelled. They snapped me wand in half an’ everything. But Dumbledore let me stay on as gamekeeper. Great man, Dumbledore.

HARRY POTTER
Why were you expelled?

Hagrid changes the subject.

RUBEUS HAGRID
It’s gettin’ late and we’ve got lots ter do tomorrow.

He takes off his coat and hands it to Harry.

RUBEUS HAGRID
You can kip under that. Don’ mind if it wriggles a bit, I think I still got a couple o’ dormice in one o’ the pockets.
  


ArryGrotter November 2nd, 2007 10:17 pm

Re: Fan Scripts: Remake Harry Potter
 
I thought up this last night
DH: Magic is MightINT. KITCHEN - 12 GRIMMAULD PLACE

Harry places down a copy of the Daily Prophet. The headline: "Severus Snape confirmed as Hogwarts Headmaster"

RON/HERMIONE
No!

The camera zooms into the picture (of Snape in the headmaster's office)...

INT. HEADMASTER'S OFFICE

Snape stands up.

HERMIONE (O.V.)
Severus Snape, long-standing Potions master at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and wizardry, was today appointed headmaster in the most important of several staffing changes at the ancient school.

The portrait of Phineas Nigellus is noticeable in the background.

HERMIONE (O.V.)
Following the resignation of the previous Muggle Studies teacher, Alecto Carrow will take over the post while her brother, Amycus, fills the position of Defense Against the Dark Arts professor.

Snape turns to look at the portrait that stands above his desk. (We can not see it)

INT. KITCHEN - 12 GRIMMAULD PLACE

The picture falls back.
Is it too forshadowing?

ArryGrotter November 4th, 2007 4:37 am

Re: Fan Scripts: Remake Harry Potter
 
More cuts, more needed. HELP!!!:    


  
PS: Harry's Birthday/MysteriesINT. HUT-ON-THE-ROCK - MIDNIGHT
(30/7/1991)

Harry tries to keep warm, lying on the stone floor, under the thin blanket that is over him. Snores fill the room. Dudley is sleeping on the couch. THUNDER. Harry turns over to were he has written "Happy Birthday" in the dust. He put a circle around it, making a cake. He looks at Dudley's watch, which danging over the edge of the couch, on his wrist. 11:58pm. He turns back to his cake, he marks in the candles, and remembers...

FADES TO:

INT. KiTCHEN - 4 PRIVET DRIVE – MORNING
(FLASHBACK) (31/7/1990)

Vernon hands Harry a coat-hanger and a pair of mustard socks.

VERNON DURSLEY
There you go.

FADES TO:

INT. HUT-ON-THE-ROCK - MIDNIGHT
(30-31/7/1991)

Ten candles. Eleven. Harry looks at the cake quite sombre. He turns to Dudley's watch. 11:59:56. :57. :58. :59. BOOM. The door shudders. BOOM. And again. Harry stands up. Dudley has woken up, looking around, scared. Vernon comes into the room, holding a rifle, Petunia bringing up his rear.

VERNON DURSLEY
Who's there? I warn you, I'm armed!

SMASH. The door falls down and RUBEUS HAGRID walks in. He says cheerfully...

RUBEUS HAGRID
Couldn’t make us a cup o’ tea, could yeh? It’s not been an easy journey...

He picks up the door and puts it back in its place. Petunia and Vernon simply look at each other. Hagrid moves toward the couch where Dudley is paralyzed with shock.

RUBEUS HAGRID
Budge up, yeh great lump.

Dudley quickly gets off the couch and cowers behind his parents. Hagrid looks at Harry.

RUBEUS HAGRID
And here's Harry! Yeh look a lot like yer dad, but yeh’ve got yer mum’s eyes.

Vernon gets his confidence back, gripping the rifle tight again.

VERNON DURSLEY
I demand that you leave at once, sir!

Hagrid turns and takes the rifle from Vernon. He then easily bends it into a knot and throws it into a corner. Vernon makes a noise like a mouse being trodden on.

RUBEUS HAGRID
Harry, a very happy birthday to yeh.

Hagrid pulls a squashed box and hands it to Harry, who opens in to find a cake with "Happy Birthday Harry" written on it.

RUBEUS HAGRID
I mighta sat on it at some point, but it’ll taste all right.

Harry looks up at Hagrid, confused.

HARRY POTTER
Who are you?

RUBEUS HAGRID
(Chuckling)
True, I haven’t introduced meself. Rubeus Hagrid, Keeper of Keys and Grounds at Hogwarts.

Hagrid holds out his hand then shakes Harry's arm.

RUBEUS HAGRID
What about that tea then, eh?

Hagrid’s eyes find the empty fireplace where chip packets lay shrivelled. He snorts, then bends over it and when he stands up again, the fireplace is ablaze.

HARRY POTTER
I’m sorry, but I still don’t really know who you are.

RUBEUS HAGRID
Call me Hagrid, everyone does. An’ like I told yeh, I’m Keeper of Keys at Hogwarts – yeh’ll know all about Hogwarts, o’ course.

HARRY POTTER
Er – no.

Hagrid looks shocked

HARRY POTTER
Sorry

RUBEUS HAGRID
Sorry?
(He looks at the Dursleys)
It’s them as should be sorry! I knew yeh weren’t gettin’ yer letters but I never thought yeh wouldn’t even know abou’ Hogwarts! Did yeh never wonder where yet parents learned it all?

HARRY POTTER
All what?

RUBEUS HAGRID
All what! Now wait jus’ one second!
(He now stands up and the Dursleys cower)
Do you mean ter tell me, that this boy knows nothin’ about ANYTHING?

Hagrid looks back to Harry.

RUBEUS HAGRID
Yeh don’ know ... yeh don’ know ... yeh don’ know what yeh are?

Vernon suddenly steps out.

VERNON DURSLEY
Stop! Stop right there! I forbid you to tell the boy anything!

Hagrid turns on Vernon.

RUBEUS HAGRID
You never told him what was in the letter Dumbledore left fer him? I saw Dumbledore leave it, Dursley! An’ you’ve kept it from him all these years?

HARRY POTTER
Kept what from me?

VERNON DURSLEY
STOP! I FORBID YOU!

Petunia gives a gasp from the corner.

RUBEUS HAGRID
Ah, go boil yer heads, both of yeh. Harry – yer a wizard.

Complete silence.

HARRY POTTER
I’m a what?

RUBEUS HAGRID
A wizard, o’ course. With a mum an’ dad like yours, what else would yeh be?

From his pocket Hagrid extracts another letter. He passes it to Harry. Harry opens it, and reads:

HARRY POTTER (O.S.)
(voice shaking)
Dear Mr Potter, We are pleased to inform you that you have been accepted at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry.

Harry closes the letter, shocked. Vernon moves forward again.

VERNON DURSLEY
He's not going.

RUBEUS HAGRID
I’d like ter see a great Muggle like you stop him.

HARRY POTTER
A what?

RUBEUS HAGRID
A Muggle, it's what we call non-magic folk like them. An’ it’s your bad luck you grew up in a family o’ the biggest Muggles I ever laid eyes on.

VERNON DURSLEY
We swore when we took him in we’d put a stop to that rubbish! Wizard indeed!

HARRY POTTER
You knew? You knew I’m a – a wizard?

PETUNIA DURSLEY
Knew! Of course we knew! How could you not be, my dratted sister being what she was? I was the only one who saw her for what she was – a freak! She met that Potter at that school. She left, got married, and had you, and of course I knew you’d be just the same, just as – abnormal – and then she went and got herself blown up and we got landed with you!

HARRY POTTER
Blown up? You told me they died in a car crash!

RUBEUS HAGRID
CAR CRASH! How could a car crash kill Lily an’ James Potter? It’s an outrage! A scandal! Harry Potter not knowin’ his own story when every kid in our world knows his name!

HARRY POTTER
But why? What happened?

RUBEUS HAGRID
I had no idea, how much yeh would’t know. I don’ know if I’m the right person ter tell yeh – but someone’s gotta – yeh can’t go off ter Hogwarts not knowin’.
(He looks angrily at the Dursleys)
It begins, I suppose, with - with a person called – but it’s incredible yeh don’t know his name, everyone in our world knows –

HARRY POTTER
Who?

RUBEUS HAGRID
Well – I don’ like sayin’ the name if I can help it. No one does.

HARRY POTTER
Why not?

RUBEUS HAGRID
Gulpin’ gargoyles, Harry, people are still scared. See, there was this wizard who went ... bad. As bad as you could go. Worse. Worse than worse. His name was...

Hagrid gulps.

HARRY POTTER
Could you write it down?

RUBEUS HAGRID
Nah – can’t spell it. All right – Voldemort. Anyway, You-Know-Who, about twenty years ago now, started lookin’ fer followers. Some were afraid, some just wanted a bit o’ his power. Dark days, Harry. Didn’t know who ter trust. Terrible things happened. He was takin’ over. ‘Course, some stood up to him – an’ he killed ‘em. Horribly. One o’ the only safe places left was Hogwarts. Reckon Dumbledore’s the only one You-Know-Who was afraid of. Didn’t dare try takin’ the school. Now, yer mum an’ dad were as good a witch an’ wizard as I ever knew.
(Pause)
All anyone knows is, You-Know-Who turned up in the Godric's Hollow, the village where you was all living, on Halloween ten years ago. You was just a year old. He came ter yer house an’ – an’ –

Hagrid pulls out his handkerchief and blows his nose.

RUBEUS HAGRID
You-Know-Who killed ‘em. An’ then – an’ this is the real myst’ry of the thing – he tried to kill you, too. But he couldn’t do it. Never wondered how you got that mark on yer forehead? That was no ordinary cut. That’s what yeh get when a powerful, evil curse touches yeh. An’ that’s why yer famous, Harry. No one ever lived after he decided ter kill ‘em, no one except you.

Harry looks away from Hagrid and the screen fills with green light and a high, cold laugh is heard.

HARRY POTTER
What happened to Vol – sorry – I mean, You-Know-Who?

RUBEUS HAGRID
Disappeared. Vanished. Same night he tried ter kill you. Makes yeh even more famous. That’s the biggest myst’ry, see … he was gettin’ more an’ more powerful – why’d he go? Some say he died. Codswallop, in my opinion. Dunno if he had enough human left in him to die. Some say he’s still out there, bidin’ his time, but I don’ believe it. Most of us reckon he’s still out there somewhere but lost his powers. Too weak to carry on. There was somethin’ goin’ on that night he hadn’t counted on – I dunno what it was, no one does - but somethin’ about you stumped him, all right.

Harry looks into Hagrid's warm eyes, which are respecting him. Harry's green eyes are confused.

HARRY POTTER
Hagrid, I think you must have made a mistake. I don’t think I can be a wizard.

RUBEUS HAGRID
Not a wizard, eh? Never made things happen when you was scared or angry?

Harry looks into the fire remembers something.

SNAKE (V.O.)
Brazil, here I come … Thanksss, amigo.

Harry looks back at Hagrid, to see him smiling back at him.

RUBEUS HAGRID
See? Harry Potter, not a wizard – you wait, you’ll be right famous at Hogwarts.

VERNON DURSLEY
Haven’t I told you he’s not going? I’ve read those letters and he needs all sorts of rubbish –

RUBEUS HAGRID
If he wants ter go, you won’t stop him. His name’s been down ever since he was born. He’s off ter the finest school of witchcraft and wizardry in the world. He’ll be with youngsters of his own sort, fer a change, an’ he’ll be under the greatest headmaster Hogwarts ever had, Albus Dumbled –

VERNON DURSLEY
I am not paying for some crackpot old fool to teach him magic tricks!

Hagrid takes out his umbrella again.

RUBEUS HAGRID
Never – insult – Albus – Dumbledore – in – front – of – me!

He points the umbrella at Dudley. A flash of violet light. A squeal of pain. Dudley hops around, holding his buttocks. A pig's tail is seen between them. The Dursleys rush into the other room.

RUBEUS HAGRID
Shouldn’ta lost me temper.

Hagrid looks at Harry.

RUBEUS HAGRID
Be grateful if yeh didn’t mention that ter anyone at Hogwarts. I’m – er – not supposed ter do magic, strictly speakin’.

HARRY POTTER
Why aren’t you supposed to do magic?

RUBEUS HAGRID
Oh, well – I was at Hogwarts meself but I – er – got expelled. But Dumbledore let me stay on as gamekeeper. Great man, Dumbledore.

HARRY POTTER
Why were you expelled?

Hagrid changes the subject.

RUBEUS HAGRID
It’s gettin’ late and we’ve got lots ter do tomorrow.

He takes off his coat and hands it to Harry.

RUBEUS HAGRID
You can kip under that. Don’ mind if it wriggles a bit, I think I still got a couple o’ dormice in one o’ the pockets.
  


Now that I cut the food I have rid of this mention:

RUBEUS HAGRID
Couldn’t make us a cup o’ tea, could yeh? It’s not been an easy journey...

2001-Movie did this well with him saying: "Sorry about that". I can't think of anything to replace it, and it doesn't flow well with nothing there.

---
Recently I was thinking about Quidditch in the OotP movie (or lack of) and influence me to write this:
OotP: The Lion and the SerpentEXT. QUIDDITCH STADIUM

DRACO MALFOY
Saved Weasley's neck, haven't you?

Malfoy lands next to Harry.

DRACO MALFOY
I've never seen a worse Keeper: but then he was born in a bin: did you like my lyrics, Potter? We wanted to write another couple of verses! But we couldn't find rhymes for fat and ugly - we wanted to sing about his mother, see - we couldn't fit in useless loser either - for his father, you know -

Fred and George Weasley approach Malfoy. Angelina Johnson, who is nearby, grabs Fred.

ANGELINA JOHNSON
Leave it! Leave it, Fred, let him yell, he's just sore he lost, the jumped-up little -

DRACO MALFOY
- but you like the Weasleys, don't you, Potter? Spend holidays there and everything, don't you? Can't see how you stand the stink, but I suppose when you've been dragged up by Muggles, even the Weasleys' hovel smells OK -

Harry grabs hold of George.

DRACO MALFOY
Or perhaps, you can remember what your mother's house stank like, Potter, and Weasleys pigsty reminds you of it -

Harry is no longer holding George, both of them have fists risen, aimed straight at Malfoy.

ROLANDA HOOCH
Impedimenta!

Harry and George suddenly go into slow motion. Draco gets out of the way.

ROLANDA HOOCH
What do you think you're doing?


I'm reading PoA at the moment, so I decided to script a scene from there.When I script PoA, this scene will need to be cut a bit
PoA: The FireboltINT. GRYFFINDOR COMMON ROOM

Harry and Ron are doing homework.

RON WEASLEY
How is she doing it?

Hermione is on the other side of the room with 3 tables covered with only her work.

HARRY POTTER
Doing what?

RON WEASLEY
Getting to all her classes!I heard her talking to Professor Vector, that Arithmancy witch, this morning. They were going on about yesterday's lesson, but Hermione can't've been there, because she was with us in Care of Magical Creatures! And Ernie MacMillan told me she's never missed a Muggle Studies class, but half of them are at the same time as Divination, and she's never missed one of them either!

Just then, Oliver Wood interrupts

OLIVER WOOD
Good news or bad news?

He doesn't let Harry answer.

OLIVER WOOD
Good news is that since Slytherin won against Ravenclaw yesterday, we can take second place if we beat them too in the next match. Bad news: I've just been to see Professor McGonagall about the Firebolt. She - er - got a bit shirty with me. Told me I'd got my priorities wrong. Seemed to think I cared more about winning the Cup than I do about you staying alive. Just because I told her I didn't care if it threw you off, as long as you caught the Snitch first. Honestly, the way she was yelling at me... you'd think I'd said something terrible... then I asked her how much longer she was going to keep it.
(Imitating McGonagall)
"As long as necessary, Wood". I reckon it's time you ordered a new broom, Harry.

ArryGrotter November 5th, 2007 6:52 am

Re: Fan Scripts: Remake Harry Potter
 
I wrote this all today. It is all first draft, i.e. NOTHING cut, except maybe a couple of lines here and there.

This is exactly like the books. I will cut it quite a bit:    


  
PS: Diagon AlleyINT. HUT-ON-THE-ROCK - MORNING
(1/8/1991)

HARRY'S HEAD

His eyes are tight shut.

HARRY POTTER (V.O.)
It was a dream. I dreamed a giant called Hagrid came to tell me I was going to a school for wizards. When I open my eyes I'll be at home in my cupboard.

Tap. Tap. Tap.

HARRY POTTER (V.O.) (CONT’D)
And there's Aunt Petunia knocking on the door.

Tap. Tap.

HARRY POTTER (CONT’D)
All right. I'm getting up.

WIDE SHOT

Hagrid's coat falls of Harry. An owl is tapping at the window, carrying a newspaper. Harry gets up and opens it and the owl drops the newspaper and attacks Hagrid's coat.

HARRY POTTER (CONT’D)
Hagrid! There's an owl!

RUBEUS HAGRID
(Grunting in his sleep)
Pay him.

HARRY POTTER
What?

RUBEUS HAGRID
He wants payin' fer deliverin' the paper. Look in the pockets.

Harry tries one of the many pockets in Hagrid's coat and the owl hops out of the way. He withdraws keys and slug pellets, then strange looking coins.

RUBEUS HAGRID (CONT’D)
Give him five Knuts.

HARRY POTTER
Knuts?

RUBEUS HAGRID
The little bronze ones.

Harry gives the owl the money and he flies off. Harry's mouth is open in astonishment. Hagrid is now up.

RUBEUS HAGRID (CONT’D)
Best be off, Harry, lots ter do today, gotta get up ter London an' buy all yer stuff fer school.

Harry looks down at the coins still in his hands.

HARRY POTTER
Um, Hagrid? I haven't got any money - and you heard Uncle Vernon last night … he won't pay for me to go and learn magic.

RUBEUS HAGRID
Don't worry about that. D'yeh think yer parents didn't leave yeh anything?

HARRY POTTER
But if their house was destroyed -

RUBEUS HAGRID
They didn' keep their gold in the house, boy! Nah, first stop fer us is Gringotts. Wizards' bank.

HARRY POTTER
Wizards have banks?

RUBEUS HAGRID
Just the one. Gringotts. Run by goblins.

HARRY POTTER
Goblins?

RUBEUS HAGRID
Yeah - so yeh'd be mad ter try an' rob it, I'll tell yeh that. Never mess with goblins, Harry. Gringotts is the safest place in the world fer anything yeh want ter keep safe - 'cept maybe Hogwarts. As a matter o' fact, I gotta visit Gringotts anyway. Fer Dumbledore. Hogwarts business. He usually gets me ter do important stuff fer him. Fetchin' you gettin' things from Gringotts - knows he can trust me, see. Got everythin'? Come on, then.
They make their way outside.

EXT. THE-HUT-ON-THE-ROCK - MORNING
(CONTINUOUS ACTION) (1/8/1991)

Only one boat is outside.

HARRY POTTER
How did you get here?

RUBEUS HAGRID
Flew.

HARRY POTTER
(Looking at Hagrid uncertainly)
Flew?

RUBEUS HAGRID
Yeah - but we'll go back in this. Not s'pposed ter use magic now I've got yeh.

They get into the boat.

INT/EXT. ROWBOAT - MORNING
(CONTINUOUS ACTION) (1/8/1991)

RUBEUS HAGRID
Seems a shame to row, though.
(He gives Harry a sideways look.)
If I was ter - er - speed things up a bit, would yeh mind not mentionin' it at Hogwarts?

HARRY POTTER
Of course not.

Hagrid taps the boat with his umbrella and it rows itself towards land.

HARRY POTTER (CONT’D)
Why would you be mad to try and rob Gringotts?

RUBEUS HAGRID
(He unfolds the newspaper while speaking)
Spells - enchantments.They say there's dragons guardin' the high security vaults. And then yeh gotta find yer way - Gringotts is hundreds of miles under London, see. Deep under the Underground. Yeh'd die of hunger tryin' ter get out, even if yeh did manage ter get yer hands on summat.

Turning a page, Hagrid says:

RUBEUS HAGRID (CONT’D)
Ministry o' Magic messin' things up as usual.

HARRY POTTER
There's a Ministry of Magic?

RUBEUS HAGRID
'Course. They wanted Dumbledore fer Minister, o' course, but he'd never leave Hogwarts, so old Cornelius Fudge got the job. Bungler if ever there was one. So he pelts Dumbledore with owls every morning, askin' fer advice.

HARRY POTTER
But what does a Ministry of Magic do?

RUBEUS HAGRID
Well, their main job is to keep it from the Muggles that there's still witches an' wizards up an' down the country.

HARRY POTTER
Why?

RUBEUS HAGRID
Why? Blimey, Harry, everyone'd be wantin' magic solutions to their problems. Nah, we're best left alone
.

The boat bumps against the edge of the coast.

EXT. STREET - MORNING
(1/8/1991)
Hagrid and Harry walk along an ordinary Muggle street.

RUBEUS HAGRID
(Pointing to a parking meter)
See that, Harry? Things these Muggles dream up, eh?

HARRY POTTER
(Jogging to keep up)
Hagrid, did you say there are dragons at Gringotts?

RUBEUS HAGRID
Well they say so. Crikey, I'd like a dragon.

HARRY POTTER
You'd like one?

RUBEUS HAGRID
Wanted one ever since I was a kid - here we go.

They reach the train station.

INT. SUBWAY TRAIN - MORNING
(1/8/1991)

Harry and Hagrid are on the train. Hagrid knits what looks like a yellow circus tent.

RUBEUS HAGRID
Still got your letter, Harry?

Harry takes it out.

RUBEUS HAGRID (CONT’D)
Good. There's a list there of everything yeh need.

The letter is unfolded.

HARRY POTTER
HOGWARTS SCHOOL OF WITCHCRAFT AND WIZARDRY. Uniform. First-year students will require: Three sets of plain work robes (black), One plain pointed hat (black) for day wear, One pair of protective gloves (dragon hide or similar), One winter cloak (black, silver fastenings). Please note that all pupils' clothes should carry name tags. Set Books. All students should have a copy of each of the following: The Standard Book of Spells (Grade 1) by Miranda Goshawk. A History of Magic by Bathilda Bagshot. Magical Theory by Adalbert Waffling. A Beginners' Guide to Transfiguration by Emetic Switch. One Thousand Magical Herbs and Fungi by Phyllida Spore. Magical Drafts and Potions by Arsenius Jigger. Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them by Newt Scamander. The Dark Forces: A Guide to Self-Protection by Quentin Trimble. Other Equipment. 1 wand, 1 cauldron (pewter, standard size 2), 1 set glass or crystal phials, 1 telescope, 1 set brass scales. Students may also bring an owl OR a cat OR a toad. PARENTS ARE REMINDED THAT FIRST YEARS ARE NOT ALLOWED THEIR OWN BROOMSTICKS.

Throughout this Harry keeps on looking up at Hagrid, who beckons him on.

HARRY POTTER (CONT’D)
Can we find all this in London?

RUBEUS HAGRID
If yeh know where to go.

EXT. CHARING CROSS ROAD - LATE MORNING
(1/8/1991)

Harry and Hagrid walk down it, Harry uncertain, seeing the book shops, the music stores, the restaurants and the cinemas.

RUBEUS HAGRID
This is it, the Leaky Cauldron. It's a famous place.

It's a shabby, grubby-looking little pub. None of the people around them seem to notice it is even there.

INT. LEAKY CAULDRON - LATE MORNING
(CONTINUOUS ACTION) (1/8/1991)

Inside, a group of old woman sit gossiping over drinks in a corner (Doris Crockford among them), one of them smoking a pipe. A pale young man (Quirenius Quirrell) is being served and a little man with a top hat (Dedalus Diggle) is talking to the toothless and bald barman (Tom).

TOM - BARMAN
The usual, Hagrid?

RUBEUS HAGRID
Can't, Tom, I'm on Hogwarts business.

Hagrid puts his hand on Harry's shoulder.

TOM - BARMAN
Good Lord, is this - can this be -?

The bar go silent

TOM - BARMAN (CONT’D)
Bless my soul. Harry Potter … what an honour.

The lady smoking the pipe doesn't notice it has gone out. Tom comes out from behind the bar and shacks his hand.

TOM - BARMAN (CONT’D)
Welcome back, Mr Potter, welcome back.

Suddenly everyone is moving.

DORIS CROCKFORD
Doris Crockford, Mr Potter, can't believe I'm meeting you at last.

TLC PERSON 1
So proud, Mr Potter, I'm just so proud.

TLC PERSON 2
Always wanted to shake your hand - I'm all of a flutter.

DEDALUS DIGGLE
Delighted, Mr Potter, just can't tell you, Diggle's the name, Dedalus Diggle.

Diggle's hat falls off in his excitement.

HARRY POTTER
I've seen you before! You bowed to me once in a shop.
DEDALUS DIGGLE
'He remembers! Did you hear that? He remembers me!

A pale young man, head bald, makes his way nevoursly towards Harry.

RUBEUS HAGRID
Professor Quirrell! Harry, Professor Quirrell will be one of your teachers at Hogwarts.

Quirrell shakes Harry's hand.

QUIRENIUS QUIRRELL
P-P-Potter, c-can't t-tell you how p- pleased I am to meet you.
HARRY POTTER
What sort of magic do you teach, Professor Quirrell?
QUIRENIUS QUIRRELL
D-Defence Against the D-D-Dark Arts. N-not that you n-need it, eh, P-P-Potter? You'll be g-getting all your equipment, I suppose? I've g-got to p-pick up a new b-book on vampires, m-myself.

Quirrell leaves. The others want another handshake.

RUBEUS HAGRID
Must get on - lots ter buy. Come on, Harry.

Hagrid pulls Harry away from a handshake with Doris Crockford.

EXT. LEAKY CAULDRON > DIAGON ALLEY COURTYARD - LATE MORNING
(CONTINUOUS ACTION) (1/8/1991)

Harry and Hagrid enter.

RUBEUS HAGRID
Told yeh, didn't I? Told yeh you was famous. Even Professor Quirrell was tremblin' ter meet yeh - mind you, he's usually tremblin'

HARRY POTTER
Is he always that nervous?

RUBEUS HAGRID
Oh, yeah. Poor bloke. Brilliant mind. He was fine while he was studyin' outta books but then he took a year off ter get some firsthand experience … They say he met vampires in the Black Forest, and there was a nasty bit o' trouble with a hag - never been the same since. Scared of the students, scared of his own subject now, where's me umbrella?

Harry pauses, the new information swimming around his head. Hagrid pulls out his umbrella and counts the bricks on the wall.

RUBEUS HAGRID (CONT’D)
Two up...
(He moves his umbrella two bricks up from a dustbin)
Three across...
(And three across.)
Right, stand back, Harry.

He taps the wall three times. Slowly, a hole emerges. It spirals, the bricks with it, until it makes an archway so large Hagrid can fit through it.

RUBEUS HAGRID (CONT’D)
Welcome, to Diagon Alley.
  


ginnypotter19 November 5th, 2007 7:46 am

Re: Fan Scripts: Remake Harry Potter
 
The main problem I see with most of these scripts is that you are trying to add everything from the book, and if it isn't exactly from the book, it is a slight change. Half the reason why these things weren't in the movies were because they are so incredibly boring. One scene I would like to see added, however, is the Dursleys in GoF.

This looks like a lot of fun, so be expecting to see me in a day or two with my DH script. :)

ArryGrotter November 5th, 2007 8:15 am

Re: Fan Scripts: Remake Harry Potter
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by ginnypotter19 (Post 4834409)
The main problem I see with most of these scripts is that you are trying to add everything from the book, and if it isn't exactly from the book, it is a slight change. Half the reason why these things weren't in the movies were because they are so incredibly boring. One scene I would like to see added, however, is the Dursleys in GoF.

This looks like a lot of fun, so be expecting to see me in a day or two with my DH script. :)

Yes, it's another "your added everthing"/"Cut more" post. If you are talking about my previous post, I AM going to cut, but not today. While writing it, I sensed what to cut, what to move, etc. What I have cut is veiwable here (Post 12), here (13), here (23), here (25), here (29) and here (40), but it will need to be cut more once the script is fully written. (I myself am scared of the page count).

GoF is a script I can't wait to do. That movie is awful now I've seen it 1,000,000 times.

Can't wait to see your script!

ginnypotter19 November 5th, 2007 8:31 am

Re: Fan Scripts: Remake Harry Potter
 
Oh, it isn't just you, but yes, I see where you are cutting. I myself may have a problem with cutting things, but mostly, I think I can manage making it different from the books but keeping the story line like Kloves and the other guy *forgot his name momentarily* have done.

ArryGrotter November 6th, 2007 5:48 am

Re: Fan Scripts: Remake Harry Potter
 
I can't wait for DH.

I hope the lead up of the final battle is along the lines of this.:    


  
DH: The Flaw in the PlanINT. GREAT HALL - HOGWARTS - SUNRISE

MOLLY WEASLEY
Not my daughter you [enter the word here]!

Molly makes her way towards Bellatrix. Bellatrix laughs. To Hermione, Ginny and Luna, Molly says:

MOLLY WEASLEY (CONT’D)
Out of my way! She is mine!

They duel. Now only Voldemort, McGonagall, Kingsley, Slughorn, Bellatrix and Molly remain duelling.

BELLATRIX LESTRANGE
What will happen to your children when I've killed you? When Mummy's gone the same way as Freddie?

MOLLY WEASLEY
You - will - never - touch - our - children - again!

Bellatrix laughs.

MOLLY WEASLEY (CONT’D)
Avada Kedavra!

Suddenly Bellatrix’s face changes into a state of shock. She topples, and lies, dead on the ground.

VOLDEMORT
No!

With Voldemort’s anger, his three opponents blast away. He raises his wand at Molly.

HARRY POTTER
Protego!

Out of nowhere Harry appears, Invisiblity Cloak falling to the ground.
  


---
Because I MIGHT need to split DH into 2:    


  
DH: The Deathly HallowsINT. TENT

HARRY POTTER
...Voldemort -

RON WEASLEY
No! The name's Taboo! I told you, Harry, we can't say it anymore - we've got to put the protection back around us - quickly, or they’ll -

The sneakoscope on the desk spins. Voices are heard.

FENRIR GREYBACK (O.S.)
Come out of there with your hands up! We know you're in there! You've got half a dozen wands pointing at you and we don't care who we curse!

EXT. TENT

A whole circle of Snatchers surround the tent.

CUT TO:

DEATHLY HALLOWS SYMBOL
The triangle is in place of the links of the tree from the previous shot. Similarly, the circle is in place where the Snatchers were. The line slices through where the tent was.
  



Also, for some reason I was wondering why Dumbledore knew Moody was Barty Crouch Jr (He asked for Winky) and then I remembered about Occlumency. So I plan to write, um, Harry and Cedric's return, I suppose the scene is, including a part when Dumbledore stops trusting "Mad-Eye". I will probably write it tomorrow.

ArryGrotter November 7th, 2007 8:11 am

Re: Fan Scripts: Remake Harry Potter
 
Maybe my script IS a bit too long...

Cause the page count was 30 for chapters 1-4, and I've written half of chapter 5 and now it's 45.

I look at my first draft of 1-4. That was 52.

Therefore (about to do maths)
52/30=1.733333333333333333333333333
(52+14)/1.7333333333333333333333333333=39.23076923........ ..

Um, 40 pages for 5 chapters. Therefore

40/5=8
8*17=136

136 paged script. It is leaning on the long side.

ArryGrotter November 13th, 2007 4:03 am

Re: Fan Scripts: Remake Harry Potter
 
I am now on study leave, so after my exams I will finish my first draft of PS and edit it PROPERLY. (Can I emphasise that enough?)

Below is as far as I've got with the first draft:

Please don't say that it is exactly like the boook. I know it is. I just haven't got round to cutting it yet.:    


  
PS: Diagon AlleyEXT. DIAGON ALLEY - LATE MORNING
(CONTINUOUS ACTION) (1/8/1991)

It is a cobbled street packed with shops and shoppers. The sun relects of a Cauldron and brings Harry's eyes to the Cauldron shop. "Cauldrons - All Sizes - Copper, Brass, Pewter, Silver - Self-Stirring - Collapsible" says the sign.

RUBEUS HAGRID
Yeah, you'll be needin' one, but we gotta get yer money first.

They pass an Apothecary...

APOTHECARY LADY
Dragon liver, sixteen Sickles an ounce, they're mad!

...and Eeylops Owl Emporium where the sign advertises "Tawny Screech, Barn, Brown, and Snowy". All these species snooze or hoot. From in or outside the shop. They pass another shop were boys admire a broomstick in the shops window...

QUIDDITCH BOY
Look! The new Nimbus Two Thousand - fastest ever -

RUBEUS HAGRID
Gringotts!

A snowy white building towers ahead. Two short creatures guard the doors.

RUBEUS HAGRID (CONT’D)
(Whisphering to Harry)
Yeah, those are goblins.

They make their way through the front door.

INT. GRINGOTTS FOYER - LATE MORNING
(CONTINUOUS ACTION) (1/8/1991)

The doors shut behind them. Harry reaches for one of the the next doors, which are silver, but Hagrid shakes his head. Harry is just about to ask Hagrid why, when, suddenly, a voice is heard.

GRINGOTTS VOICE (V.O.)
Enter, stranger, but take heed, Of what awaits the sin of greed, For those who take, but do not earn, Must pay most dearly in their turn. So if you seek beneath our floors, A treasure that was never yours, Thief, you have been warned, beware Of finding more than treasure here.

As this is said, it is etched upon the doors. It stay there for a while, then fades.

RUBEUS HAGRID
Like I said, you'd be mad ter try an' rob it.

The doors open themselves.

INT. GRINGOTTS HALL - LATE MORNING
(CONTINUOUS ACTION) (1/8/1991)

Two goblins bow them inside. Hagrid makes his way to one of the many counters.

RUBEUS HAGRID
Morning. We've come ter take some money outta Mr Harry Potter's safe.

GRINGOTTS GOBLIN
You have his key, sir?

RUBEUS HAGRID
Got it here somewhere.

And he empties a few pockets, searching. The goblin crinkles his nose when moudly dog-biscuts are put on his desk.

RUBEUS HAGRID (CONT’D)
(Holding up the key)
Got it.

The goblin takes it and examines it.

GRINGOTTS GOBLIN
That seems to be in order.

RUBEUS HAGRID
An' I've also got a letter here from Professor Dumbledore. It's about the You-Know-What in vault seven hundred and thirteen.

The goblin looks sideways at Hagrid, takes the letter, and skims it.

RUBEUS HAGRID (CONT’D)
Very well. I will have someone take you down to both vaults. Griphook!

Another goblin makes his way forward. He signals them towards one of the doors to the side of the hall.

HARRY POTTER
What's the You-Know-What in vault seven hundred and thirteen?
RUBEUS HAGRID
Can't tell yeh that. Very secret. Hogwarts business. Dumbledore's trusted me. More'n my job's worth ter tell yeh that.

INT. HARRY'S VAULT - GRINGOTTS - LATE MORNING
(A LITTLE LATER) (1/8/1991)

Harry and Hagrid get out of the cart. Griphook unlocks the vault. Green smoke billows. It clears and suddenly Harry's face changes to shock and mounds of gold, silver and bronze can be seen.

RUBEUS HAGRID
All yours.
(He put some into a bag for Harry as Harry is too shocked)
The gold ones are Galleons. Seventeen silver Sickles to a Galleon and twenty-nine Knuts to a Sickle, it's easy enough. Right, that should be enough fer a couple o' terms, we'll keep the rest safe for yeh.

Hagrid hands the bag to Harry and the vault closes.

RUBEUS HAGRID (CONT’D)
Vault seven hundred and thirteen now, please.

INT. VAULT 713 - GRINGOTTS - LATE MORNING
(A LITTLE LATER) (1/8/1991)

It has no keyhole. Griphook arrives, followed by Harry and Hagrid.

GRIPHOOK
Stand back!

Griphook runs his finger over the door. The door melts away.

GRIPHOOK (CONT’D)
If anyone but a Gringotts goblin tried that, they'd be sucked through the door and trapped in there.

HARRY POTTER
How often do you check to see if anyone's inside?

GRIPHOOK
About once every ten years.

Harry looks anxiously into the vault, but it is empty. Hagrid holds a small, grubby package.

RUBEUS HAGRID
Come on, back in thus infernal cart.

They go back in the cart. Vault 713 reseals itself.

EXT. DIAGON ALLEY - LATE MORNING
(A LITTLE LATER) (1/8/1991)

RUBEUS HAGRID
Might as well get yer uniform.

He points to "Madam Malkin's Robes for All Occasions".

RUBEUS HAGRID (CONT’D)
Listen, Harry, would yeh mind if I slipped off fer a pick-me-up in the Leaky Cauldron? I hate them Gringotts carts.

Harry nods, and enters Malkin's alone.

INT. MADAM MALKIN'S ROBES FOR ALL OCCASIONS - LATE MORNING
(CONTINUOUS ACTION) (1/8/1991)

A bell rings as he enters. Madam Malkin approaches Harry.

MADAM MALKIN
Hogwarts, dear? Got the lot here - another young man being fitted up just now, in fact.

Harry is prompted to the back of the shop where a pale, pointed faced boy (Draco Malfoy) is standing on a footstool, an employee pining the black robes he has over his normal clothes. Malkin puts a robe over Harry too, once he is on a second footstool.

DRACO MALFOY
Hello, Hogwarts too?

The boy speaks very proper, yet close to a sneer.

HARRY POTTER
Yes.

DRACO MALFOY
My father's next door buying my books and mother's up the street looking at wands. Then I'm going to drag them off to took at racing brooms. I don't see why first years can't have their own. I think I'll bully father into getting me one and I'll smuggle it in somehow. Have you got your own broom?

HARRY POTTER
No.

DRACO MALFOY
Play Quidditch at all?

HARRY POTTER
(Confused)
Er - No.

DRACO MALFOY
I do - Father says it's a crime if I'm not picked to play for my house, and I must say, I agree. Know what house you'll be in yet?

HARRY POTTER
(Feeling stupid)
No.

DRACO MALFOY
Well, no one really knows until they get there, do they, but I know I'll be in Slytherin, all our amily have been - imagine being in Hufflepuff, I think I'd leave, wouldn't you?

HARRY POTTER
(Wishing to say more)
Mmmm.

DRACO MALFOY
I say, look at that man!

Hagrid is outside, holding two ice-creams.

HARRY POTTER
That's Hagrid. He works at Hogwarts.

DRACO MALFOY
Oh, I've heard of him. He's a sort of servant, isn't he? Yes, exactly. I heard he's a sort of savage - lives in a hut on the school grounds and every now and then he gets drunk, tries to do magic, and ends up setting fire to his bed.

HARRY POTTER
(Coldly)
I think he's brilliant.

DRACO MALFOY
Do you? Why is he with you? Where are your parents?

HARRY POTTER
They're dead.

DRACO MALFOY
(Not sounding like means it.)
Oh, sorry. But they were our kind, weren't they?

HARRY POTTER
They were a witch and wizard, if that's what you mean.

DRACO MALFOY
I really don't think they should let the other sort in, do you? They're just not the same, they've never been brought up to know our ways. Some of them have never even heard of Hogwarts until they get the letter, imagine. I think they should keep it in the old wizarding families. What's your surname, anyway?

But...

MADAM MALKIN
That's you done, my dear.

Harry hops off the stool, happy to leave.
  


ArryGrotter November 15th, 2007 10:35 pm

Re: Fan Scripts: Remake Harry Potter
 
Since Hagrid being expelled is more important to CoS:
CoS: Mudbloods and MurmursEXT. PUMPKIN PATCH - HAGRID’S HUT - MORNING

Outside are extremely large pumpkins.

RUBEUS HAGRID
Gettin' on well, aren't they? Fer the Halloween feast ... should be big enough by then.

HARRY POTTER
What’ve you been feeding them?

RUBEUS HAGRID
Well, ah...

Hagrid’s pink umbrella is leaning against the back door.

HERMIONE GRANGER
(helping out)
An Engorgement Charm, I suppose?

RUBEUS HAGRID
Yeah, I’d be grateful if yeh didn't mention that ter anyone.

HERMIONE GRANGER
Why?

RUBEUS HAGRID
I'm - er - not supposed ter do magic. See - I was expelled from Hogwarts. In me third year ter tell the truth.

HERMIONE GRANGER
(surprised)
You were expelled from Hogwarts?

RON WEASLEY
I never knew that Hagrid.

HARRY POTTER
Why were you expelled?

Hagrid changes the subject.

RUBEUS HAGRID
(To Ron)
Met yer little sister yesterday. Said she was jus' lookin' round the grounds, but I reckon she was hopin' she might run inter someone else at my house.
On another note I figured out the order I will write my scripts: PS, GoF, CoS, HBP, PoA, OotP, DH.

Dementor13 November 20th, 2007 11:17 pm

Re: Fan Scripts: Remake Harry Potter
 
About the death of Voldemort... I was actually thinking how this should be like.

BELLATRIX topples to the ground, and in slow-motion, Voldemort turns to watch her die.

VOLDEMORT: NO!!! (not a cheesy "NO!" but a very scary, insane "NO!")

He turns and waves the ELDER WAND, and tendrils of light spary everywhere, hurling MCGONGALL, SLUGHORN, AND SHACKLEBOLT over the Great Hall. VOLDEMORT turns to MOLLY, furious. HE raises the wand, and just as the Killing Curse was said, HARRY pulls the Cloak off. Now in regular motion.

HARRY: PROTEGO!

A massive shield explodes in the middle of the Hall, and as everybody turns to see who'd done it, HARRY steps out of the crowd. VOLDEMORT turns to see HARRY, and he hisses. The magical ceiling now turns to a deep violet color, and a hint (very slight) of the sun is starting to rise. It's very subtle. They start circling each other. The crowd stumbles backward, making a circle in the hall. Several DEATH EATERS Apparate between the people, turning in confusion. One of them looks at Voldemort, gestures, but with a look from VOLDEMORT, he clambers back in rank.

VOLDEMORT: Harry Potter. So yet again, you escaped Death.

HARRY: (raises a hand quickly) Don't help. It's got to be like this, just you and me.

VOLDEMORT: You don't mean that, Potter. You snivel and hide behind the skirts of greater people, hiding away from me.

HARRY: You thought so. But you're wrong. I did that to protect everybody, from your harm. Remember my mother, Lily? The blood she gave up protected me from you... until-

VOLDEMORT: I came back! You're not protected anymore!

HARRY: Yes, you're right... but don't you see? I've done the same thing... for everybody who've fought you tonight. You don't know anything, do you, Riddle?

VOLDEMORT: (growls) You dare to-

HARRY: Yes. You never learn from your mistakes, Tom Riddle. Now, before you make yet another mistake, try to feel remorse...

VOLDEMORT: What is this? (looks shocked briefly)

HARRY: I've seen what you will become. Be a man...

VOLDEMORT: You're lying! I, Lord Voldemort, possesses the powerful wand ever to touch Wizarding history! We don't have that Phoenix core protection anymore, we duel on skills, alone!

HARRY: Be careful. You think you're powerful?

VOLDEMORT: I BROUGHT UPON THE DEATH OF ALBUS DUMBLEDORE!

HARRY: You thought so, yet you're wrong.

The crowd reacts, and whisperings start. They are cut off by VOLDEMORT.

VOLDEMORT: He is dead, on this grounds, rotting in the tomb! I saw it myself!

HARRY: He never got murdered. He made a fatal mistake and arranged the whole thing with the man you thought was your faithful servant... Severus Snape. He stopped working for you once you killed my mother... she was the only person Snape ever truly loved.

VOLDEMORT: Silence! What does it matter, then, as both are dead! On my own doings!

HARRY: Really? Well, when Malfoy disarmed Dumbledore on the evening he died... that wand you're holding, the master of that is Draco Malfoy.

VOLDEMORT: I can attend to Draco after this! You speak nonsense, and you're stalling your death!

HARRY: But... I overtook Malfoy weeks ago and took his wand. (holds up wand) Does that wand you hold know its master was disarmed? Because if it does... then I am the master of the Elder Wand.

The sun finally rises, and the magical ceiling turns a shocking orange-yellow.

VOLDEMORT: AVADA KEDVARA!

HARRY: EXPELLARMIUS!

The jets of the spells collides, then they breaks up. Shots of light bursts from the connected jet of light. Voldemort growls, but then he looks fearful- as the Elder Wand flicks away out of his hand- a green jet shot out- it hits Voldemort in the chest- a booming explosion echoes as Voldemort kneels. A moment, then suddenly jets of light burst from his chest. Voldemort's body withers, then his robe turns into smoke, and his body along disappears in a smoky fog. The Death Eaters panics, and attempts to Disapparate, but the Order quickly gathers them up.

ArryGrotter November 26th, 2007 4:24 am

Re: Fan Scripts: Remake Harry Potter
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by Dementor13 (Post 4847408)
About the death of Voldemort... I was actually thinking how this should be like.

...

Interesting, yet I feel it's a bit short for the big finale.

I definately think that Voldemort's "No" can't be chessy.


I actually think that the thread name is mis-leading, as not all the movies have actually been made yet. I think I'll change it (for the 10th time:lol:)


Anyway, about my script. I've decided to write a treatment before continuing. Here's what I've done:
PS Treatment:    


  A cat is sitting outside a house.

In this house are Petunia and Vernon Dursley, both happy, but only on the outside. Their son, Dursley, drops his cereal in protest. “Shan’t!”

Vernon goes to work to find weird people in cloaks whispering about the Potter’s son, Harry.

At home, Vernon discovers that owls have been flying around during daylight and that there has been a downpour of shooting stars. Trying to make sense of all of this, he asks Petunia if he has heard from her sister (She says no), as asked for a reminder of his nephew’s name. It’s Harry.

That night, an elderly man appears (Dumbledore). He turns out all the street lights with a cigarette-lighter-like device (Deluminator). He approaches the cat, which turns into a woman: McGonagall. They discuss what everyone is celebrating: The downfall of an evil wizard by a infant who was to be the last to be killed in his family. McGonagall then asks why Dumbledore is here. “To bring Harry to his aunt and uncle”. Dumbledore says he has written a letter. McGonagall doesn’t initially side with Dumbledore on this. Hagrid, a half-giant, brings Harry on a giant motorbike. On his forehead, Harry has a lightning-bolt scar, a souvenir of the attack. Dumbledore leaves Harry and the letter on the doorstep and they all say their goodbyes.

10 years later.

Harry wakes to Petunia’s shrill voice. Harry remembers a dream he had with a flying motorbike. She comes back and announces it is Dudley’s Birthday.

Dudley counts his many presents and is displeased. The phone rings and Petunia come back with some news: Harry can’t go to Mrs. Figg’s. Petunia and Vernon can’t decide what to do. The doorbell rings. Petunia and Dudley leave and Vernon tells Harry “No funny business.” Harry remembers the odd happenings that seem to happen around him.

A motorbike passes and Harry tells Vernon of the dream he had about a flying one. “Motorbikes don’t fly!” “It was only a dream.”

They arrive at the zoo. Dudley spots the largest snake and orders his father to make it move. It won’t; it’s asleep. They all move away, except Harry, who tells the snake “It must be really annoying,” and, astonishingly, the snake wakes. Harry asks where it’s from and the snake points to the sign next to him. Brazil. “Was it nice there” Harry is told to read further: “This specimen was bred in the zoo.” Then, Piers Shouts noticing what the snake is doing. Dudley shoves Harry onto the floor, Harry looks up and… the glass has vanished. Dudley and Piers are terrified as the large snake slithers out of the cage. “Brazil, here I come ... Thanksss, amigo.”

The group head home. Dudley and Piers make up heroic tales. Piers turns to Harry: “Harry was talking to it, weren't you, Harry?” Vernon is not happy.

Vernon forces Harry into his cupboard, where Harry remembers the tale of his scar.

1 month later.

The mail arrives and Harry is told to get it by Vernon and Dudley.

In the mail there is… a letter for Harry.

Harry comes back with the mail and starts opening his letter, but it is noticed by Dudley. Vernon snatches it and opens it himself (“Who’d be writing to you?”), but is terrified by what is inside. He shows Petunia who shares the same emotion. Vernon chucks Dudley and Harry out of the room to hold a private conversation.

Once outside, Dudley listens at the keyhole and Harry at the gap under the door.

Inside (while Harry listens) Petunia and Vernon decide what to do. Petunia wonders how they know where he sleeps. Vernon demands they don’t reply as “I'm not having one in the house, Petunia! Didn't we swear when we took him in we'd stamp out that dangerous nonsense?”

That night Vernon tells Harry that the letter was addressed wrong and that he should move to Dudley’s second bedroom as he is getting to big for the cupboard. “Why?” “Don't ask questions!”

Later that night, Harry comes down the stairs to find Vernon nailing the letterbox and in a conversation with Petunia. “See, if they can't deliver them they'll just give up.” “I'm not sure that'll work, Vernon.” “Oh, these people's minds work in strange ways, Petunia, they're not like you and me.”

The next morning, Petunia opens a new packet of eggs to find… letters. But they’ve changed. They now read ‘Mr. H. Potter, The Smallest Bedroom, 4 Privet Drive, Little Whinging, Surrey’. She shows the rest of the family. “Who on earth wants to talk to you this badly?” says Dudley.

The next morning is Sunday. No post, exclaims Vernon, but a letter suddenly hits him in the back of the head. They are flying out of the fireplace. Harry tries to grab one, but he is thrown out of the room by Vernon.

In the Hall, Vernon announces they are going away.

The next day. They’ve travelled far and wide. Everyone wants to go home except Vernon, who is now searching for the perfect place. He comes back to the car: he’s found it.

He points to a hut on a rock way out on sea. “Storm forecast for tonight! And I've been able to lend a boat.” And to Harry, “Could do with some of those letters now, eh?”
  


Severely Snapped November 26th, 2007 8:25 pm

Re: Fan Scripts: Remake Harry Potter
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by Dementor13 (Post 4847408)
HARRY: He never got murdered. He made a fatal mistake and arranged the whole thing with your faithful servant... Severus Snape. He stopped working for you once you killed my mother... the only woman he've ever loved.

"The man you THOUGHT was your faithful servant." And Severus stopped working for Voldie before Lily's death, not after (I think Harry's exact words were "from the moment you started hunting my mother.") Also, it isn't clear from the above that it wasn't DD who was in love with Lily, but Severus.

Otherwise, though, it's not bad at all. :tu:

ArryGrotter November 26th, 2007 11:42 pm

Re: Fan Scripts: Script your version of Harry Potter
 
OK, I've done a rewrite of the following scene, though one line I really want to shorten and don't know how.

It's shorter than before (by two pages according to the page count):    


  
PS: Diagon AlleyINT. HUT-ON-THE-ROCK - MORNING
(1/8/1991)

Hagrid's coat falls of Harry. An owl is tapping at the window, carrying a newspaper. Harry gets up and opens it and the owl drops the newspaper and attacks Hagrid's coat.

HARRY POTTER
Hagrid! There's an -- owl!

RUBEUS HAGRID
(Grunting in his sleep)
Give him five Knuts.

HARRY POTTER
Knuts?
RUBEUS HAGRID
Little bronze coins. Look in the pockets.

Harry tries one of the many pockets in Hagrid's coat and the owl hops out of the way. He withdraws keys and slug pellets, then strange looking coins. Harry gives the owl the money and he flies off. Harry's mouth is open in astonishment. Hagrid is now up

RUBEUS HAGRID (CONT’D)
Best be off, Harry, lots ter do today, gotta buy all yer stuff fer school.

Harry looks down at the coins still in his hands.

HARRY POTTER
Um, Hagrid? I haven't got any money - and you heard Uncle Vernon last night … he won't pay for me to go and learn magic.

RUBEUS HAGRID
Don't worry about that. D'yeh think yer parents didn't leave yeh anything? First stop fer us is Gringotts. Wizards' bank.

HARRY POTTER
Wizards have banks?

RUBEUS HAGRID
Just the one. Gringotts. Run by goblins.

HARRY POTTER
Goblins?

RUBEUS HAGRID - This is the line I want to cut shorter...
Yeah - so yeh'd be mad ter try an' rob it. Never mess with goblins, Harry. Gringotts is the safest place in the world - 'cept maybe Hogwarts. As a matter o' fact, I gotta visit Gringotts anyway. Fer Dumbledore. Hogwarts business. He usually gets me ter do important stuff fer him. Fetchin' you gettin' things from Gringotts - knows he can trust me, see. Got everythin'? Come on, then.

I/E. ROWBOAT - MORNING
(A LITTLE LATER) (1/8/1991)

Hagrid taps the boat with his umbrella and it rows itself towards land. He then proceeds to unfold the newspaper (The Daily Prophet). Turning a page, Hagrid says:

RUBEUS HAGRID
Ministry o' Magic messin' things up as usual.

HARRY POTTER
There's a Ministry of Magic? But what does a Ministry of Magic do?

RUBEUS HAGRID
Well, their main job is to keep it from the Muggles that there's still witches an' wizards up an' down the country.

HARRY POTTER
Why?

RUBEUS HAGRID
Why? Blimey, Harry, everyone'd be wantin' magic solutions to their problems. Nah, we're best left alone.

The boat sails further.

HARRY POTTER
Why would you be mad to try and rob Gringotts?

RUBEUS HAGRID
Spells - enchantments. They say there's dragons guardin' the high security vaults. And Gringotts is hundreds of miles under London, deep under the Underground. Yeh'd die of hunger tryin' ter get out.

HARRY POTTER
Hagrid, did you say there are dragons at Gringotts?

RUBEUS HAGRID
Well they say so.
(beat)
Crikey, I'd like a dragon.

HARRY POTTER
You'd like one?

RUBEUS HAGRID
Wanted one ever since I was a kid.
(he resumes reading the newspaper)
Still got your letter, Harry?

Harry takes it out.

RUBEUS HAGRID (CONT’D)
Good. There's a list there of everything yeh need.

The letter is unfolded. Harry skims each section and reads aloud the last, gaining in volume:

HARRY POTTER
(puzzled slightly)
1 wand, 1 cauldron, 1 set glass or crystal phials, 1 telescope, 1 set brass scales.

Harry looks up at Hagrid

HARRY POTTER (CONT’D)
Can we find all this in London?

RUBEUS HAGRID
If yeh know where to go.

The boat bumps against the edge of the coast.
  


Dementor13 November 27th, 2007 12:00 am

Re: Fan Scripts: Script your version of Harry Potter
 
Thanks! I've edited the mentioned above.

ArryGrotter December 8th, 2007 1:48 am

Re: Fan Scripts: Script your version of Harry Potter
 
I've written a bit more of CoS, because I got tired of PS:    


  INT. FIRST FLOOR (OUTSIDE FILCH’S OFFICE) - HOGWARTS - LATE AFTERNOON

Nearly-Headless Nick comes gliding out through a wall as Harry comes in.

NEARLY HEADLESS NICK
Harry! Harry! Did it work?

Harry notices a large black cabinet destroyed, dropped from great height.

NEARLY HEADLESS NICK (CONT’D)
I persuaded Peeves to crash it right over Filch's office.

HARRY POTTER
Was that you? Thanks, Nick!

Nick looks back at his rejection letter. Harry notices.

HARRY POTTER (CONT’D)
I wish there was something I could do for you about the Headless Hunt.

Nick suddenly stops gliding and Harry walks right through him.

NEARLY HEADLESS NICK
But there is something you could do for me...

INT. GRYFFINDOR COMMON ROOM - EVENING

Harry breaks the news to Ron, who is doing potions homework, and Hermione.

HERMIONE GRANGER
A deathday party? I bet there aren't many living people who can say they've been to one of those - it'll be fascinating!

RON WEASLEY
Why would anyone want to celebrate the day they died? Sounds dead depressing to me...

Harry looks out the window to see Hagrid carving pumkins twice the size of himself. Hermione notices this.

HERMIONE GRANGER
A promise is a promise. You said you'd go to the deathday party.

INT. GREAT HALL - HOGWARTS - EVENING
(31/10/92)

Bats fly by and candles and the enormous pumpkin lanterns float over the packed tables.

INT. ENTRANCE HALL - HOGWARTS - EVENING
(31/10/92)

Students make their way inside, yet Harry, Ron and Hermione head towards the dungeon. Snape eyes them suspiciuosly
  



I wanted to finish this before I posted, But I ran out of time... Ah, I love the fact that DH is out:    


  For the last time, the camera pans and fades to…

INT. POTIONS DUNGEON

…pickled animals in jars on shelves. We find Severus Snape taking the roll. He pauses and looks at Harry

SEVERUS SNAPE
Ah. Yes. Harry Potter. Our new - celebrity

Snape continues to take the roll, occasionally his cold, empty black eyes look straight at Harry.

CUT TO:
LATER

Snape stands in front of the class.

SEVERUS SNAPE (CONT’D)
You are here to learn the subtle science and exact art of potionmaking. I don't expect you will really understand the beauty of the softly simmering cauldron with its shimmering fumes, the delicate power of liquids that creep through human veins, bewitching the mind, ensnaring the senses.
(pause)
I can teach you how to bottle fame, brew glory, even stopper death - if you aren't as big a lot of dunderheads as I usually have to teach.


Stuff


CUT TO:

INT. HEADMASTER’S OFFICE - HOGWARTS - AFTERNOON

Snape storms around the room.

SEVERUS SNAPE
- mediocre ... arrogant as his father, a determined rule-breaker ... delighted to find himself famous ... attention-seeking and impertinent -
Dumbledore is sitting at his desk reading ‘Transfiguration Today’, not even noticing Snape break a few of the odd instruments which lie on nearby tables.

ALBUS DUMBLEDORE
You see what you expect to see, Severus. Other teachers report that the boy is modest, likable, and reasonably talented.

Snape looks angered at this.
  



From DH thread:
Quote:

Originally Posted by Blast_ended (Post 4861517)
I have written my own DH script in a professional program (Final Draft). I though about it a lot and I would really love to hear any sort of feedback. So far I've got to Ron's leaving. It is in PDF format over here.

Main changes so far include:

Replacing Yaxley with Bellatrix
Shortening the Dursely's very much
Replacing Bill and Fleur with Remus and Tonks (Also Bill and Fleur does have cameo's in the chase because I needed 13 people and couldn't think of anyone else).
Cutting the ministry break in.
Having Lupin deliever the news about the taboo.
Moving the kiss to the Wedding.
Cutting Krum, Muriel and Xenophilious.

So far it is 50 pages, which is about 50 minutes - Seems fine to me, as I've covered everything until the 16th chapter.

Enjoy and please give me feedback!

I took a quick look through what you'd added since you last posted here and I hardly noticed the Ministry was missing and I liked how the tent scenes were handled.

I should post my script in PDF, too. I gets annoying formatting it (centering dialogue and having spaces in between).

Edit: I found a way of doing that here is my PS script (first 4 and a half chapters and a bit of chapter 8, clocking in at the moment at 42 pages) [Link no longer valid]

ArryGrotter December 11th, 2007 8:55 am

Re: Fan Scripts: Script your own version of Harry Potter
 
As part of my PS break I decided to do a chunk of GoF, only to figure out that it is twice too long. Oh, well, I'm not onto that yet, but what I have done (Now edited to include everything I've done.):    


  
GoF: The Triwizard Tournament, Mad-Eye Moody, The Unforgivable CursesINT. GREAT HALL - HOGWARTS - EVENING
(1/9/1994)

Dumbledore gets to his feet.

ALBUS DUMBLEDORE
I have only two words to say to you: Tuck in.

RON WEASLEY
About time.

Ron, Harry and Hermione start to eat, while Nearly Headless Nick onlooks.

NEARLY HEADLESS NICK
You're lucky there's a feast at all tonight, you know. There was trouble in the kitchens earlier.

RON WEASLEY
(Still eating)
Why? What happened?

NEARLY HEADLESS NICK
Peeves, of course. He wanted to attend the feast, but that’s out of the question.

RON WEASLEY
So what did he do in the kitchens?

NEARLY HEADLESS NICK
The usual. Wreaked havoc and mayhem. Pots and pans everywhere. Terrified the house-elves -

CLANG. Hermione knocks over her goblet of pumpkin juice in shock.

HERMIONE GRANGER
There are house-elves here? Here at Hogwarts?

NEARLY HEADLESS NICK
Certainly. The largest number in any dwelling in Britain, I believe. Over a hundred.

HERMIONE GRANGER
But they get paid? They get holidays, don't they? And - and sick leave, and pensions, and everything?

NEARLY HEADLESS NICK
(Shaking his head)
House-elves don't want sick leave and pensions!

Hermione puts down her knife and fork.

HERMIONE GRANGER
Slave-labour.

LATER

Puddings are now being served, but still Hermione does not eat.

RON WEASLEY
(Pushing it towards her)
Treacle tart, Hermione!

But Hermione, with her arms folded, turns to face the staff table where Dumbledore is standing. The puddings vanish.

ALBUS DUMBLEDORE
Now that we are all fed and watered.

HERMIONE GRANGER
Hmph!

ALBUS DUMBLEDORE
I ask for your attention, while I give out a few notices. Mr. Filch, the caretaker, has asked me to tell you that the list of objects forbidden inside the castle has this year been extended to comprises of some four hundred and thirty-seven items. It can be viewed in Mr. Filch's office, if anybody would like to check it.

Dumbledore smiles slightly.

ALBUS DUMBLEDORE (CONT’D)
It is also my painful duty to inform you that the Inter-House Quidditch Cup will not take place this year. This is due to an event that will be starting in October. I have great pleasure in announcing that this year at Hogwarts -

But the Great Hall doors open. A RUMBLE of thunder is heard. A hooded man stands at the open doors. It is MAD-EYE MOODY.

Moody lowers his hood to reveal a long mane of grizzled, dark gray hair and a face looking as though it was carved out of wood. A chunk of Moody’s nose is missing. His eyes are mis-matched. One, the dark one, is normal looking and is facing the staff table and the other, which is electric blue, is whizzing around in its socket, glancing at all the students.

Moody walks up to Dumbledore with CLUNKS. They shake hands. Dumbledore gestures him to sit down. Moody does, and sniffs the plate of sausages in front of him [Only the food on the Student tables disappear] and brings out a knife and fork to eat it with, rather than those surrounding him.

ALBUS DUMBLEDORE (CONT’D)
May I introduce our new Defense Against the Dark Arts teacher? Professor Moody.

No one claps except for Dumbledore and Hagrid.

HARRY POTTER
(To Ron)
Moody? Mad-Eye Moody? The one your dad went to help this morning?

RON WEASLEY
Must be.

HERMIONE GRANGER
What happened to him? What happened to his face?

RON WEASLEY
Dunno.

Up at the staff table, Moody pulls out a hip flask, ignoring the pumpkin juice. Harry notices Moody has a wooden leg.

Dumbledore clears his throat.

ALBUS DUMBLEDORE
As I was saying, we are to have the honour of hosting a very exciting event that has not been held for over a century. It is my very great pleasure to inform you that the Triwizard Tournament will be taking place at Hogwarts this year.

FRED WEASLEY
You’re joking!

The tension created by Moody’s arrival leaves and Dumbledore chuckles.

ALBUS DUMBLEDORE
I am not joking, Mr. Weasley. Though now that you mention it, I did hear an excellent one over the summer-

McGonagall clears her throat

ALBUS DUMBLEDORE (CONT’D)
But maybe this is not the time... Ah yes, the Triwizard Tournament was first established some seven hundred years ago as a friendly competition between the three largest European schools of wizardry: Hogwarts, Beauxbatons, and Durmstrang. A champion was selected to represent each school, and the three champions competed in three magical tasks. The schools took it in turns to host the tournament once every five years, and it was a most excellent way of establishing ties between young witches and wizards of different nationalities - until, that is, the death toll mounted so high that the tournament was discontinued.

Hermione looks shocked

ALBUS DUMBLEDORE (CONT’D)
Our own departments of International Magical Cooperation and Magical Games and Sports have decided the time is ripe for another attempt to reinstate the tournament. We have worked hard over the summer to ensure that this time, no champion will find himself or herself in mortal danger. The heads of Beauxbatons and Durmstrang will be arriving with their short-listed contenders in October, and the selection of the three champions will take place at Halloween. An impartial judge will decide which students are most worthy to compete for the Triwizard Cup, the glory of their school, and a thousand Galleons personal prize money.

Fred and George Weasley’s faces light up.

ALBUS DUMBLEDORE (CONT’D)
The heads of the participating schools, along with the Ministry of Magic, have agreed to impose an age restriction on contenders this year, and only students who are of age - that is to say, seventeen years or older - will be allowed to put forward their names. I will personally be ensuring that no underage student hoodwinks our impartial judge into making them Hogwarts champion. I therefore beg you not to waste your time submitting yourself if you are under seventeen.

Dumbledore eyes Fred and George.

ALBUS DUMBLEDORE (CONT’D)
I know that you will all extend every courtesy to our foreign guests while they are with us, and will give your whole-hearted support to the Hogwarts champion when he or she is selected. And now, it is late, and I know how important it is to you all to be alert and rested as you enter your lessons tomorrow morning. Bedtime! Chop chop!

The students leave and we follow Harry, Ron, Hermione, Fred and George.

GEORGE WEASLEY
(Glaring at the staff table)
They can't do that! We're seventeen in April, why can't we have a shot?

FRED WEASLEY
(Also glaring at the staff table)
They're not stopping me entering. The champions'll get to do all sorts of stuff you'd never be allowed to do normally. And a thousand Galleons prize money!

RON WEASLEY
Yeah, a thousand Galleons...

HARRY POTTER
Who's this impartial judge who's going to decide who the champions are?

FRED WEASLEY
Dunno, but it's them we'll have to fool. I reckon a couple of drops of Aging Potion might do it, George.

RON WEASLEY
Dumbledore knows you're not of age, though.

FRED WEASLEY
Yeah, but he's not the one who decides who the champion is, is he? Sounds to me like once this judge knows who wants to enter, he'll choose the best from each school and never mind how old they are. Dumbledore's trying to stop us giving our names.

HERMIONE GRANGER
People have died, though!

FRED WEASLEY
Yeah, but that was years ago, wasn't it? Anyway, where's the fun without a bit of risk? Hey, Ron, what if we find out how to get 'round Dumbledore? Fancy entering?

RON WEASLEY
What d'you reckon? Be cool to enter, wouldn't it?

INT. GRYFFINDOR BOYS DORMITORY - HOGWARTS - MIDNIGHT
(1-2/9/94)

Harry is sleeping, his sleep full with dreams:

INT. GREAT HALL - HOGWARTS - EVENING
(DREAM)

An IMPARTIAL JUDGE makes his decision.

IMPARTIAL JUDGE
Harry Potter!

EXT. HOGWARTS GROUNDS - DAY
(DREAM)

Harry raises his arms in victory to the surrounding stands. From them, Cho Chang’s face stands out, glowing with admiration.

INT. GRYFFINDOR BOYS DORMITORY - HOGWARTS - MIDNIGHT
(1-2/9/94)

Harry smiles.

INT. GREAT HALL - HOGWARTS - MORNING
(2/9/94)

Harry, Ron and Hermione are examining their new timetables.

RON WEASLEY
Today's not bad ... outside all morning.

HARRY POTTER
(Groaning)
Double Divination this afternoon.

HERMIONE GRANGER
You should have given it up like me, shouldn't you?

RON WEASLEY
You're eating again, I notice.

Indeed she is.

HERMIONE GRANGER
I've decided there are better ways of making a stand about elf rights.

RON WEASLEY
Yeah ... and you were hungry.

INT. GREENHOUSE THREE - HERBOLOGY - HOGWARTS - MORNING
(2/9/94)

Professor Sprout shows the fourth-year Gryffindors and the fourth-year Hufflepuffs ugly plants, like vertical thick, black, giant slugs, each with numerous swellings on them.

POMONA SPROUT
Bubotubers. They need squeezing. You will collect the pus -

SEAMUS FINNIGAN
The what?

POMONA SPROUT
Pus, Finnigan, pus. It's extremely valuable, an excellent remedy for the more stubborn forms of acne, bubotuber pus, so don't waste it. Wear your dragon-hide gloves; it can do funny things to the skin when undiluted, bubotuber pus.

Harry, Ron and Hermione start.

EXT. HAGRID’S HUT - LATE MORNING
(2/9/94)

Hagrid stands waiting with Fang, his boarhound. Several open wooden crates lay around him. The Gryffindor fourth-years arrive.

RUBEUS HAGRID
Mornin'! Be'er wait fer the Slytherins, they won' want ter miss this - Blast-Ended Skrewts!

RON WEASLEY
Come again?

Lavender Brown looks over the edge of one the crates.

LAVENDER BROWN
(Jumping backwards)
Eurgh!

Harry looks over the edge of the crate. The Blast-Ended Skrewts look like shell-less lobsters, with too many legs and no apparent head. Sparks fly with in the box every now and then and a Skrewt would fly to the other side of the crate.

RUBEUS HAGRID
On'y jus' hatched, so yeh'll be able ter raise 'em yerselves! Thought we'd make a bit of a project of it!

DRACO MALFOY (O.S.)
And why would we want to raise them?

The Slytherin fourth-years arrive.

DRACO MALFOY (CONT’D)
I mean, what do they do? What is the point of them?

Draco looks into the crate.
DRACO MALFOY (CONT’D)
Who would even want a pet like that?

Hermione steps forward.

HERMIONE GRANGER
Just because they're not very pretty, it doesn't mean they're not useful. Dragon blood's amazingly magical, but you wouldn't exactly want a dragon for a pet, would you?

Harry and Ron look at Hagrid who beams.

RUBEUS HAGRID
Now, yeh'll wan' ter feed 'em on a few diff'rent things - I've never had 'em before, not sure what they'll go fer - I got ant eggs an' frog livers an' a bit o' grass snake - just try 'em out with a bit of each.

SEAMUS FINNIGAN
First pus and now this.

INT. GREAT HALL - HOGWARTS - MIDDAY
(2/9/94)

Harry, Ron and Hermione make their way toward the Gryffindor table.

RON WEASLEY
Well, at least the skrewts are small.

HERMIONE GRANGER
They are now, but once Hagrid's found out what they eat, I expect they'll be six feet long

RON WEASLEY
Well, that won't matter if they turn out to cure seasickness or something, will it?

HERMIONE GRANGER
You know perfectly well I only said that to shut Malfoy up.

Hermione starts to eat at rapid speed.

RON WEASLEY
Er - is this the new stand on elf rights? You're going to make yourself puke instead?

HERMIONE GRANGER
No,
(she eats more)
I just want to get to the library.

RON WEASLEY
What? We haven't even got homework yet!

Hermione finishes and speeds off.

HERMIONE GRANGER
See you at dinner!

Harry and Ron share a glance.

INT. DIVINATION CLASS - HOGWARTS - AFTERNOON
(2/9/94)

Harry and Ron sit around a small circular table, as do fellow fourth-year Gryffindors.

SYBILL TRELAWNEY (O.S.)
Good day.

Professor Sybill Trelawney comes forward out of the shadows, looking mournfully at Harry.

SYBILL TRELAWNEY (CONT’D)
You are preoccupied, my dear. My inner eye sees past your brave face to the troubled soul within. I fear the thing you dread will indeed come to pass ... and perhaps sooner than you think...

Harry looks curiously at Trelawney...

SYBILL TRELAWNEY (CONT’D)
My dears, it is time for us to consider the stars. The movements of the planets and the mysterious portents they reveal...

...and remembers.

FLASHBACK TO:

INT. DIVINATION CLASS - HOGWARTS - LATE AFTERNOON
(--/6/94)

SYBILL TRELAWNEY
The Dark Lord lies alone and friendless, abandoned by his followers. His servant has been chained these twelve years. Tonight, before midnight ... the servant will break free and set out to rejoin his master. The Dark Lord will rise again with his servants aid, greater and more terrible than ever he was. tonight ... before midnight ... the servant ... will set out ... to rejoin ... his master...

BACK TO PRESENT

INT. DIVINATION CLASS - HOGWARTS - AFTERNOON
(2/9/94)

RON WEASLEY
(Muttering)
Harry.

HARRY POTTER
What?

Everyone is looking at him.

SYBILL TRELAWNEY
I was saying that Saturn was surely in a position of power in the heavens at the moment of your birth.

Harry catches Ron’s eyes. He is rolling them.

SYBILL TRELAWNEY (CONT’D)
Your dark hair ... your mean stature ... tragic losses so young in life ... I think I am right in saying, my dear, that you were born in midwinter?

HARRY POTTER
No, I was born in July.

Ron laughs.

SYBILL TRELAWNEY
(Slightly angered)
For homework...

INT. FIRST FLOOR - HOGWARTS - EVENING
(2/9/94)

Harry and Ron make their way to dinner.

RON WEASLEY
Miserable old bat. That'll take all weekend, that will.

Hermione finds them.

HERMIONE GRANGER
Lots of homework? Professor Vector didn't give us any at all!

Ron looks more disgruntled at this.

INT. ENTRANCE HALL - HOGWARTS - EVENING
(CONTINUOS ACTION) (2/9/94)

Harry, Ron and Hermione descend the Marble Staircase.

DRACO MALFOY (O.S.)
Weasley!

Harry, Ron and Hermione turn. Draco stands waiting outside the Dungeons with Crabbe and Goyle.

RON WEASLEY
What?

DRACO MALFOY
Your dad’s in the paper, Weasley.

Draco shows Ron a Daily Prophet with the headline ‘Further mistakes at the Ministry of Magic’ with a picture of Arthur and Molly outside the Burrow.

DRACO MALFOY (CONT’D)
And there’s a picture, Weasley. A picture of your parents outside their house - if you can call it a house! Your mother could do with losing a bit of weight, couldn't she?

Ron shakes with fury.

HARRY POTTER
Get stuffed, Malfoy.

DRACO MALFOY
Oh yeah, you were staying with them this summer, weren't you, Potter? So tell me, is his mother really that porky, or is it just the picture?

HARRY POTTER
You know your mother, Malfoy? That expression she's got, like she's got dung under her nose? Has she always looked like that, or was it just because you were with her?

DRACO MALFOY
Don't you dare insult my mother, Potter.

HARRY POTTER
Keep your fat mouth shut, then.

Harry turns away and...

BANG! A spell barely misses him and turns back to Malfoy, but he’s not there.

MAD-EYE MOODY (O.S.)
Oh no you don't, laddie!

Moody comes limping down the marble staircase, pointing his wand at a pure white ferret.

MAD-EYE MOODY (CONT’D)
I don't like people who attack when their opponent's back's turned! Stinking, cowardly, scummy thing to do...

He makes the ferret fly high into the air, then smash back down to the ground.

MAD-EYE MOODY (CONT’D)
(Continuing to bounce the ferret)
Never - do - that - again!

Professor McGonagall comes down the staircase, her arms full of books.

MINERVA MCGONAGALL
Professor Moody!

Moody turns to see who it is, still bouncing the ferret.

MAD-EYE MOODY
Hello, Professor McGonagall.

MINERVA MCGONAGALL
What - what are you doing?

MAD-EYE MOODY
Teaching.

MINERVA MCGONAGALL
Teach - Moody, is that a student?

MAD-EYE MOODY
Yep.

McGonagall drops the books and whips out her wand. The ferret transforms back into Draco Malfoy.

MINERVA MCGONAGALL
Moody, we never use Transfiguration as a punishment! Surely Professor Dumbledore told you that?

MAD-EYE MOODY
He might've mentioned it, yeah.

MINERVA MCGONAGALL
We give detentions, Moody! Or speak to the offender's Head of House!

MAD-EYE MOODY
I'll do that, then.

He looks at Draco, too scared to speak.

MAD-EYE MOODY (CONT’D)
Now, your Head of House'll be Snape, will it?

DRACO MALFOY
(Quietly)
Yes.

MAD-EYE MOODY
Another old friend.

He picks Draco up and drags him toward the dungeon.

MAD-EYE MOODY (CONT’D)
I've been looking forward to a chat with old Snape.

INT. GREAT HALL - HOGWARTS - EVENING
(2/9/94)

Harry, Ron and Hermione sit down for dinner.

RON WEASLEY
Don’t talk to me.

HERMIONE GRANGER
Why not?

RON WEASLEY
Because I want to fix that in my memory forever. Draco Malfoy, the amazing bouncing ferret.

Harry and Hermione laugh. Harry notices Hermione eating fast again.

HARRY POTTER
Don't tell me you're going back to the library this evening?

HERMIONE GRANGER
Got to. Loads to do.

RON WEASLEY
But you said...

HERMIONE GRANGER
It's not schoolwork.

And with one last bite, she departs.

INT. POTIONS DUNGEON - HOGWARTS - AFTERNOON
(3/9/94)

The fourth-year Gryffindor and fourth-year Slytherins are in Potions. Neville Longbottom’s cauldron melts with a hiss.

SEVERUS SNAPE
Detention Longbottom. I would have thought that by the time you melted your fifth cauldron, you would understand not to melt your sixth.

Snape sweeps around the room.

RON WEASLEY
You know why Snape's in such a foul mood, don't you?

HARRY POTTER
Yeah. Moody.

Harry looks up at Snape, still sweeping around the dungeon.

HARRY POTTER (CONT’D)
I reckon Snape's a bit scared of him, you know.

RON WEASLEY
Imagine if Moody turned Snape into a horned toad, and bounced him all around his dungeon...

INT. FIRST FLOOR - HOGWARTS - AFTERNOON
(5/9/94)

The Gryffindor first-years all line up for Defence Against the Dark Arts, all except Hermione, who rushes towards Harry and Ron.

HERMIONE GRANGER
Been in the -

HARRY POTTER
Library. C'mon, quick, or we won't get decent seats.

INT. DEFENCE AGAINST THE DARK ARTS CLASS - HOGWARTS - AFTERNOON
(5/9/94)

The Gryffindor fourth-years sit patiently waiting for Moody.

I'm going to return to PS now
  


ArryGrotter December 12th, 2007 11:43 pm

Re: Fan Scripts: Script your own version of Harry Potter
 
More of PS:    


  
PS: OllivandersEXT. DIAGON ALLEY - AFTERNOON
(1/8/1991)

Harry and Hagrid walk out of an Apothecary.

RUBEUS HAGRID
(Looking at the Hogwarts list)
Just yer wand left - oh yeah, an' I still haven't got yeh a birthday present.

Harry goes red in the face.

HARRY POTTER
You don’t have to -

CUT TO:

EXT. DIAGON ALLEY - AFTERNOON
(1/8/1991)

Harry and Hagrid exit Eeylops Owl Emporium, Harry stammering thanks as he now holds a cage in which a beautiful snowy owl sleeps.

RUBEUS HAGRID
Don' mention it. Just Ollivanders left now.

To points to a shop ‘Ollivanders: Makers of Fine Wands since 382 B.C’.

INT. OLLIVANDERS WAND SHOP - AFTERNOON
(1/8/1991)

A BELL SOUNDS as Harry enters, Hagrid behind him, who sit down on a wooden chair to small for him. Harry looks around at the thousand of boxes, waiting...

MR OLLIVANER (O.S.)
Good afternoon.

Harry jumps. So does Hagrid. The chair which is on makes a crunching noise. Hagrid quickly gets off it.

Mr Ollivander comes forward, old and pale and with long fingers.

MR OLLIVANER (CONT’D)
I thought I'd be seeing you soon. Harry Potter. You have your mother's eyes. Ten and a quarter inches long, swishy, made of willow. Nice wand for charm work. Your father, on the other hand, favored a mahogany wand. Eleven inches. Pliable. Excellent for transfiguration. Well, I say he favored it, but it's really the wand that chooses the wizard.

Mr Ollivander looks to Harry’s scar.

MR OLLIVANER (CONT’D)
I'm sorry to say I sold the wand that did it. Thirteen-and-a-half inches. Yew. Powerful wand, very powerful, and in the wrong hands…

Mr Ollivander backs away and brings out a tape measure.

MR OLLIVANER (CONT’D)
Well, now. Mr Potter, which is your wand arm?

HARRY POTTER
Well, I'm right-handed.

MR OLLIVANER
Hold out your arm.
(Harry does)
That's it.

The measuring tape measures from shoulder to finger, wrist to elbow, shoulder to floor, knee to armpit and round his head. While it does this, Ollivander searches for wands while saying:

MR OLLIVANER (CONT’D)
Every Ollivander wand has a core of a powerful magical substance, Mr Potter. We use unicorn hairs, phoenix tail feathers, and the heartstrings of dragons. No two Ollivander wands are the same, and of course, you will never get such good results with another wizard's wand.

The measuring tape begins to measure around Harry’s nostrils.

MR OLLIVANER (CONT’D)
That will do.

The tape falls to the ground. Mr Ollivander comes out, a wand in his hand, which he passes to Harry.

MR OLLIVANER (CONT’D)
Try this: Beechwood and dragon heartstring. Nine inches. Nice and flexible. Just give it a wave.

Harry, feeling foolish, begins to wave it, but it is snatched out of his hand by Ollivander.

MR OLLIVANER (CONT’D)
No, no - here.
(He passes Harry another wand)
Ebony and unicorn hair, eight and a half inches, springy. Go on, try it out.

One again, it is snatched out of his hand by Ollivander the second Harry tries to wave it, put it next to the other tried wand.

The pile of tried wands mount.

MR OLLIVANER (CONT’D)
Tricky customer, eh? Not to worry, we'll find the perfect match here somewhere.

He looks for another wand, then pauses at his discovery.

MR OLLIVANER (CONT’D)
I wonder, now - yes, why not.
(He gives the wand to Harry)
Unusual combination - holly and phoenix feather, eleven inches, nice and supple.

Harry swishes the wand and out of it comes red and gold sparks. Hagrid claps.

MR OLLIVANER (CONT’D)
Yes, indeed, oh, very good. Well, well, well… how curious… how very curious…

Ollivander takes Harry’s wand and wraps it up.

MR OLLIVANER (CONT’D)
Curious… curious…

HARRY POTTER
Sorry, but what's curious?

Mr Ollivander looks straight at Harry.

MR OLLIVANER
I remember every wand I've ever sold, Mr Potter. It so happens that the phoenix whose tail feather is in your wand, gave another feather - just one other. It is very curious indeed that you should be destined for this wand when its brother why, its brother
(He looks up at Harry’s scar)
gave you that scar.
(He looks back at Harry)
Yes, thirteen-and-a-half inches. Yew. The wand chooses the wizard, remember. I think we must expect great things from you, Mr Potter…. After all, He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named did great things - terrible, yes, but great.

EXT. PADDINGTON STATION - LATE AFTERNOON
(1/8/1991)

Harry and Hagrid are eating burgers.

RUBEUS HAGRID
You all right, Harry? Yer very quiet.

Harry doesn’t know what to say, yet:

HARRY POTTER
Everyone thinks I'm special. All those people in the Leaky Cauldron, Professor Quirrell, Mr Ollivander… but I don't know anything about magic at all. How can they expect great things? I'm famous and I can't even remember what I'm famous for. I don't know what happened when Vol-,
(Hagrid flinches)
sorry - I mean, the night my parents died.

RUBEUS HAGRID
Don' you worry, Harry. Everyone starts at the beginning at Hogwarts, you'll be just fine. Just be yerself. I know it's hard. Yeh've been singled out, an' that's always hard. But yeh'll have a great time at Hogwarts - I did - still do, 'smatter of fact.

The train arrives Harry and Hagrid stand up, Hagrid pulling something out of his coat.

RUBEUS HAGRID (CONT’D)
Yer ticket fer Hogwarts. o' September - King's Cross - it's all on yer ticket. Any problems with the Dursleys, send me a letter with yer owl. See yeh soon, Harry.

Harry goes toward the train, turns back, but Hagrid has gone.
  


Phrozenone December 14th, 2007 10:26 pm

Re: Fan Scripts: Script your own version of Harry Potter
 
Oh MY ArryGrotter have I been gone away from this thread this long? Wow I have a lot of catching up to do lol. I'll read through some of your scripts and I'll post the next section of my old HBP screenplay. Let me know what you think! Remember I wrote this LONG before the OOTP movie came out so a certain spell that was used in THAT movie is still here..just ignore it :p

INT. BOYS DORMITORY-THAT NIGHT

The scene fades to a shot of Ron in the bed snoring. The camera then pans to Harry looking in his Advanced Potions book using his wand as a light. We see a shot of what Harry is reading and zooms in on the word ‘Levicorpus (nvbl)’ Harry mouths the words and then sits the book down. He grabs his wand and flicks it and there’s a flash of light. BOOM! We hear Ron screaming and the camera pans to him hanging upside down like there’s a hook holding his leg in midair. Dean and Seamus run over and begin to laugh.

HARRY
Oh..um…sorry Ron. Hang on…I’ll let you down…

He grabs for his book and looks through the pages. He drops the book and points the wand at Ron. There’s a flash of light and Ron falls to his mattress.

HARRY
Sorry.

RON
(In an exhausted voice)
Tomorrow, I’d rather you set the alarm clock.

INT-HOGWARTS-THE GREAT HALL-MORNING

The scene cuts to a shot of Hogwarts and follows an owl through the the Great Hall. The camera then pans down to Harry, Ron, and Hermione at the Gryffindor table.

HERMIONE
So you just decided to try out an unknown, handwritten incantation and see what would happen?

HARRY
Why does it matter if it’s handwritten?

HERMIONE
Because it’s probably not Ministry of Magic approved and also because I’m starting to think this Prince character was a bit dodgy.

RON
It was a laugh Hermione, that’s all. Calm down. You just don’t like the Prince because he’s better than you in Potions…

Hermione
It’s got nothing to do wih that! I just think its very irresponsible to start performing spells when you don’t even know what they’re for! Half Blood Prince, I bet it’s just a stupid nickname, and it doesn’t seem as though he’s a very nice person to me!

Hundreds of Owls start to fly into the Great Hall carrying packages

HARRY
Hermione if he’d been a budding Death Eater he wouldn’t have been boasting about being ‘half-blood’ would he?

HERMIONE
The Death Eaters can’t all be pure blood, and I bet it’s only Muggle-borns they hate, they’d be quite happy to let you and Ron join up!

RON
There’s no way they’d let me be a Death Eater, my whole family are blood traitors! That’s as bad as Muggle-borns to them!

HARRY
And they’d love to have me, we’d be best pals if they didn’t keep trying to do me in.

Hedwig lands a large package in front of Harry. Harry opens the pack and it’s a new copy of the Advanced Potion Making book

HARRY
Thanks Hedwig

He pets Hedwig and she flies off back to the Owlery

HERMIONE
Oh good, now you can give that graffitied copy back.

HARRY
Are you mad? I’m keeping it! I’ll give Slughorn back the new one, he can’t complain.

Hermione frowns and grabs the Daily Prophet and starts to read.

RON
Anyone we know dead?

HERMIONE
No, but there have been more dementor attacks and an arrest...Stan Stunpike.

HARRY
What?!?

HERMIONE
Yes,
(The camera pans over here shoulder to show the glaring face of Stan Shunpike)
Stanley Shunpike, conductor on the popular Wizarding conveyance the Knight Bus, has been arrested on suspicion of Death Eater activity.

HARRY
Stan Shunpike, a Death Eater? That’s not possible.

RON
He might have been under the Imperius Curse, you never can tell.

HERMIONE
This is horrible. Did you see today in Herbology? They called Hannah Abbott out of class to tell her that her mother was found dead.

RON
Yeah, things have been going crazy lately. People are terrified. The Patil twins’ parents want them to go home.

HARRY
What! But Hogwarts is safer than their homes, bound to be! We’ve got Aurors, and all those extra protective spells, and we’ve got Dumbledore!

HERMIONE
I don’t think we’ve got him all the time. Haven’t you noticed? His seat’s been empty an awful lot lately.

Harry and Ron look up at the staff table and we see Dumbledore’s seat is empty. Professor Slughorn is walking down towards them.

SLUGHORN
Harry, Harry, just the man I was hoping to see! What do you say to a spot of supper tonight in my rooms? I hope very much that Miss Granger will favor me by coming too.

HERMIONE
Oh thanks…um…

HARRY
I can’t come, Professor. I’ve got a detention with Professor Snape.

SLUGHORN
Oh dear, I was counting on you, Harry! Well, now, I’ll just have to have a word with Severus and explain the situation. Yes, I’m sure I’ll see you both there.

Slughorn walks away towards the staff table to talk to Snape and the scene cuts to…

INT- CORRIDOR-DAY


Harry, Hermione, and Ron walking to class and a young man named Cormac McLaggen walks up behind Harry and taps him on his shoulder.

HARRY
Yes?

CORMAC
We met on the train, in old Sluggy’s compartment. Cormac McLaggen, Keeper. Just wanted to introduce myself before trials today

He looks at Ron and throws him a dirty look

HARRY
Right…well I guess I’ll see you then.

CORMAC
Yeah, and by the way Potter. You’ll go wrong not to pick me…(he walks away.)

RON
Who in the bloody hell does he think he is? I hope he doesn’t think he’ll get special treatment because you’re both some of Slughorns favorites!

HARRY
A lot of people have signed up for Quidditch this year. I dunno why the team’s this popular all of a sudden

HERMIONE
It’s not the Quidditch Harry…it’s you. You’ve never been more interesting, and frankly, you’ve never been more fanciable

Snape walks towards them and stops when he see’s Harry

SNAPE
You are to be in my office at half past eight tonight to do your detention Potter. No matter how many party invitations you have received.

He sneers then walks away as …

ArryGrotter December 14th, 2007 11:18 pm

Re: Fan Scripts: Script your own version of Harry Potter
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by Phrozenone (Post 4867933)
Oh MY ArryGrotter have I been gone away from this thread this long? Wow I have a lot of catching up to do lol. I'll read through some of your scripts and I'll post the next section of my old HBP screenplay. Let me know what you think! Remember I wrote this LONG before the OOTP movie came out so a certain spell that was used in THAT movie is still here..just ignore it :p

INT. BOYS DORMITORY-THAT NIGHT

The scene fades to a shot of Ron in the bed snoring. The camera then pans to Harry looking in his Advanced Potions book using his wand as a light. We see a shot of what Harry is reading and zooms in on the word ‘Levicorpus (nvbl)’ Harry mouths the words and then sits the book down. He grabs his wand and flicks it and there’s a flash of light. BOOM! We hear Ron screaming and the camera pans to him hanging upside down like there’s a hook holding his leg in midair. Dean and Seamus run over and begin to laugh.

HARRY
Oh..um…sorry Ron. Hang on…I’ll let you down…

He grabs for his book and looks through the pages. He drops the book and points the wand at Ron. There’s a flash of light and Ron falls to his mattress.

HARRY
Sorry.

RON
(In an exhausted voice)
Tomorrow, I’d rather you set the alarm clock.

INT-HOGWARTS-THE GREAT HALL-MORNING

The scene cuts to a shot of Hogwarts and follows an owl through the the Great Hall. The camera then pans down to Harry, Ron, and Hermione at the Gryffindor table.

HERMIONE
So you just decided to try out an unknown, handwritten incantation and see what would happen?

HARRY
Why does it matter if it’s handwritten?

HERMIONE
Because it’s probably not Ministry of Magic approved and also because I’m starting to think this Prince character was a bit dodgy.

RON
It was a laugh Hermione, that’s all. Calm down. You just don’t like the Prince because he’s better than you in Potions…

Hermione
It’s got nothing to do wih that! I just think its very irresponsible to start performing spells when you don’t even know what they’re for! Half Blood Prince, I bet it’s just a stupid nickname, and it doesn’t seem as though he’s a very nice person to me!

Hundreds of Owls start to fly into the Great Hall carrying packages

HARRY
Hermione if he’d been a budding Death Eater he wouldn’t have been boasting about being ‘half-blood’ would he?

HERMIONE
The Death Eaters can’t all be pure blood, and I bet it’s only Muggle-borns they hate, they’d be quite happy to let you and Ron join up!

RON
There’s no way they’d let me be a Death Eater, my whole family are blood traitors! That’s as bad as Muggle-borns to them!

HARRY
And they’d love to have me, we’d be best pals if they didn’t keep trying to do me in.

Hedwig lands a large package in front of Harry. Harry opens the pack and it’s a new copy of the Advanced Potion Making book

HARRY
Thanks Hedwig

He pets Hedwig and she flies off back to the Owlery

HERMIONE
Oh good, now you can give that graffitied copy back.

HARRY
Are you mad? I’m keeping it! I’ll give Slughorn back the new one, he can’t complain.

Hermione frowns and grabs the Daily Prophet and starts to read.

RON
Anyone we know dead?

HERMIONE
No, but there have been more dementor attacks and an arrest...Stan Stunpike.

HARRY
What?!?

HERMIONE
Yes,
(The camera pans over here shoulder to show the glaring face of Stan Shunpike)
Stanley Shunpike, conductor on the popular Wizarding conveyance the Knight Bus, has been arrested on suspicion of Death Eater activity.

HARRY
Stan Shunpike, a Death Eater? That’s not possible.

RON
He might have been under the Imperius Curse, you never can tell.

HERMIONE
This is horrible. Did you see today in Herbology? They called Hannah Abbott out of class to tell her that her mother was found dead.

RON
Yeah, things have been going crazy lately. People are terrified. The Patil twins’ parents want them to go home.

HARRY
What! But Hogwarts is safer than their homes, bound to be! We’ve got Aurors, and all those extra protective spells, and we’ve got Dumbledore!

HERMIONE
I don’t think we’ve got him all the time. Haven’t you noticed? His seat’s been empty an awful lot lately.

Harry and Ron look up at the staff table and we see Dumbledore’s seat is empty. Professor Slughorn is walking down towards them.

SLUGHORN
Harry, Harry, just the man I was hoping to see! What do you say to a spot of supper tonight in my rooms? I hope very much that Miss Granger will favor me by coming too.

HERMIONE
Oh thanks…um…

HARRY
I can’t come, Professor. I’ve got a detention with Professor Snape.

SLUGHORN
Oh dear, I was counting on you, Harry! Well, now, I’ll just have to have a word with Severus and explain the situation. Yes, I’m sure I’ll see you both there.

Slughorn walks away towards the staff table to talk to Snape and the scene cuts to…

INT- CORRIDOR-DAY


Harry, Hermione, and Ron walking to class and a young man named Cormac McLaggen walks up behind Harry and taps him on his shoulder.

HARRY
Yes?

CORMAC
We met on the train, in old Sluggy’s compartment. Cormac McLaggen, Keeper. Just wanted to introduce myself before trials today

He looks at Ron and throws him a dirty look

HARRY
Right…well I guess I’ll see you then.

CORMAC
Yeah, and by the way Potter. You’ll go wrong not to pick me…(he walks away.)

RON
Who in the bloody hell does he think he is? I hope he doesn’t think he’ll get special treatment because you’re both some of Slughorns favorites!

HARRY
A lot of people have signed up for Quidditch this year. I dunno why the team’s this popular all of a sudden

HERMIONE
It’s not the Quidditch Harry…it’s you. You’ve never been more interesting, and frankly, you’ve never been more fanciable

Snape walks towards them and stops when he see’s Harry

SNAPE
You are to be in my office at half past eight tonight to do your detention Potter. No matter how many party invitations you have received.

He sneers then walks away as …

:lol:It HAS been a bit lonely posting 3 or 4 times in a row.

Did you move Levicorpus earlier? I actually find that effective, that way there the whole Prince good/evil argement can start earlier.

Phrozenone December 14th, 2007 11:32 pm

Re: Fan Scripts: Script your own version of Harry Potter
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by ArryGrotter (Post 4867984)
:lol:It HAS been a bit lonely posting 3 or 4 times in a row.

Did you move Levicorpus earlier? I actually find that effective, that way there the whole Prince good/evil argement can start earlier.

Awwww well I'll try my best to keep up with it this time :p

I see you've moved on past PS and have been dabbling in the other stories aswell lol. You're better than me..I've had writers block on my DH screenplay for...oh...3 months now and haven't touched it lol

Yeah I moved Levicorpus up right after Harry's 1st lesson with Dumbledore....have to keep the tension up..and if I remember correctly I moved a few different Great Halls scenes into the one you just read....kills 40 birds with one boulder :cool:

ArryGrotter December 17th, 2007 9:06 am

Re: Fan Scripts: Script your own version of Harry Potter
 
Well I've been doing a bit more on PS.

For anyone interested, I've been compelling changes/additions/etc. in a document, so one day I can look back at how much has changed since the first write (ie Post 1). Each change is shown with colour and even now that document is becoming a multi-coloured script. If you haven't guessed click this link to see it. (You might need flash or something to see it properly. I'm not entirely sure)

Phrozenone December 19th, 2007 9:54 pm

Re: Fan Scripts: Script your own version of Harry Potter
 
Well in light of todays casting news I decided to add the next part of my old HBP screenplay that includes 3 of the newly casted members lol. I didn't want to actual show QUidditch so the following scene is the aftermath and don't worry, we won't be seeing that actual funeral for Aragog :)

EXT. QUIDDITCH STADIUM
The scene fades to a shot of the Quidditch stadium. The camera then cranes down and we see that Quidditch tryouts have been held and Harry is announcing who’s made the team.

HARRY
Due to the fact that McLaggen only saved 4 and Ron saved 5 I think it’s only fair to award Ron the postion.

McLaggen storms up to Harry

CORMAC
His sister didn’t really try. She gave him an easy save!

HARRY
Rubbish, that was the one he nearly missed.

CORMAC
Give me another go!

HARRY
No. Now if you don’t mind, get out of my face.

Cormac frowns and storms off and we see Harry look at Ginny and smile. It is the first time he looks at Ginny this way, as if there’s something different about her. The camera zooms in on her and she smiles back as Dean comes and grabbes her by the hand and takes her away. We see the smile fade from Harry’s face and Ron walks up to him.

RON
I did alright didn’t I?

HARRY
Yeah and good thing to. Now I don’t have to deal with that McLaggen?

Lavender Brown with one of her friends walk up to them.

LAVENDER
You were amazing Ron…

RON
Oh…thanks Lavender.

LAVENDER
See you around…
(She grabs her friends arm and they walk away giggling.)

RON
What the bloody hell was that about?

Ron and Harry look at each other and the scene cuts to

EXT. OUTSIDE HAGRIDS HUT MOMENTS LATER
Harry and Ron walking towards Hagrids Hut and the camera pans to a barrel full of what looked like foot long maggots, that are slimy, white, and writhing.

RON
Hagrid..hey….
(notices the slimey maggots).
What the bloody hell are those?

HAGRID
Oh hey….Jus’ giant grubs

RON
And they grow into…?

HAGRID
They won’ grow inter nuthin’, I got em tter feed Aragog
(He pauses and then starts to cry)

HARRY
Hagrid…what’s….

HAGRID
It’s…him….Aragog…I think he’s dyin…I don’t know what I’ll do if he…if he….We’ve bin tergether so long…

HARRY
Hagrid I….is there anything we can do?

HAGRID
I don’ think so Harry, see the rest o’ the tribe, Aragog’s family…they’re getting a bit funny now he’s ill…bit restive…

RON
Yeah, I think we saw a bit of that side of them in our second year....

HAGRID
I don’t reckon it’d be safe fer anyone but me ter go near the colony at the mo But thanks fer offerin, it means a lot…

Hagrid walks away from them and the scene fades to'

EXT. HOGSMEADE-DAY

Hogsmeade. We see shots of different students going into various shops.

INT-THREE BROOMSTICKS-DAY
The camera pans to a shop named Honeydukes and goes inside where we see Harry, Ron, and Hermione drinking a Butterbeer.

RON
Wonderful

HERMIONE
Honestly Ron, we know you fancy her and all but…

Hermione looks over at the bar and we see Madam Rosmerta making drinks for someone.

RON
What? No! You got it all wrong…I..ugh..was talking about the Butterbeer!

HERMIONE
We all know how much you fancy Madam Rosmerta Ron
(She laughs)

RON
Jealous?

HERMIONE
Why….of course not
(She clears her throat and looks at Harry to quickly change the subject.)
Are you all right? You haven’t touched your Butterbeer?

HARRY
Yeah, it’s just that Slughorn is driving me mad, he keeps trying to get me to come to those parties.

HERMIONE
They’re not so bad, they’re even quite fun.

RON
Speaking of Slughorn…

Slughorn walks into the pub and makes his way towards their table.

SLUGHORN
Harry m’boy! I can’t have you missing anymore of my little suppers. I’m determined to have you! Miss Granger loves them, don’t you?

HERMIONE
Yes, they’re really…

SLUGHORN
So why don’t you come along, Harry?

HARRY
Oh...I have Quidditch practice.

SLUGHORN
Well I certainly expect you to win your first match. Well, how about Monday night?

HARRY
Can’t, I have a meeting with Dumbledore

SLUGHORN
Unlucky again! You can’t evade me forever, Harry!

He bows and walks away.

RON
He acts like I’m not even here, I’ve yet to get invited to these parties.

HERMIONE
Oh they’re not all they’re made up to be Ron.

RON
Yeah…right…you were just talking about how great they are!

HERMIONE
I did not! Oh honestly Ron you’re overreacting.

Harry turns and looks out of the window as they continue to argue. He see’s Ginny and Dean walk by eating candy. He smiles slightly as…

EXT- OUTSIDE OF HOGSMEADE
The scene cuts to Harry, Ron, and Hermione walking back to school. There are two girls arguing in the background. Harry, Ron, and Hermione turn around to see what the fuss is about. It’s Katie Bell and Her friend Leanne.

KATIE
It’s nothing to do with you, Leanne!

LEANNE
Katie stop being a….

She reaches for the package that Katie is holding and Katie tugged it back and the package fell to the ground. All at once Katie rises in the air with her arms outstretched with her hair whipping around her by a feirce wind. Her eyes and closed and then she lets out a terrible scream. Her eyes open and Leanne begins to scream. She runs to Katie and tries to pull her down by her ankles. Harry, Ron, and Hermione run up to help and when they grab her she falls and Harry and Ron catches her. She’s shaking tremendously. They lower her to the ground and she’s thrasing and screaming. The scene cuts to Hagrid picking Katie up.

HAGRID
It’s ok, I’ll be taking her to the hospital wing.
He walks away as she continues to scream. Hermione goes to comfort Leanne and Ron walks bends down and we see a shot of an ornate opal necklace that’s sticking out of the paper. He reaches down to grab it but Harry grabs his arm.

HARRY
Don’t touch it! I’ve seen this before, it was on display in Borgin and Burks ages ago. The label said it was cursed… Katie must have touched it.
(He gets up and walks towards Leanne.)
How did Katie get hold of this?

LEANNE
Well that’s why we were arguing. She came back from the bathroom in the Three Broomsticks holding it, said it was a surprise for somebody at Hogwarts and she had to deliver it. She looked all funny when she….oh no…I bet she’d been Imperiused and I didn’t realize!
(She starts to cry in Hermione’s shoulder.)

HERMIONE
We’d better get up to school.

HARRY
She didn’t say who’d given it to her, Leanne?

LEANNE
No…she wouldn’t tell me.

INT. McGONNAGELLS OFFICE-NIGHT
The scene cuts to the Harry, Ron, and Hermione sitting in Professor McGonagalls office.

PROFESSOR McGONAGALL
So what happened when Katie touched the necklace?

HARRY
She rose up in the air and then bagan to scream, and collasped. Professor, can I see Professor Dumbledore, please?

McGONAGALL
The headmaster is away until Monday, Potter.

HARRY
Away?

McGONAGALL
Yes, Potter, away. But anything you have to say about this horrible business can be said to me, I’m sure!

HARRY
(He looks at both Ron and Hermione and back to McGonnagal.)
I think Draco Malfoy gave Katie that necklace, Professor.

McGONAGALL
That is a very serious accusation, Potter. Do you have any proof?

HARRY
Well…no…but you must trust me.

McGONAGALL
Potter, you cannot point the finger of blame at Mr. Malfoy, he was not in Hogsmeade today. He was doing detention with me. And it might interest you to know Potter that Mr. Filch has set up Secrecy Sensors all over the school grounds. Any Dark object will be found, even the owls have extra security! Now if that is all, good day to you all!

INT-MOVING STAIRCASE-NIGHT
The scene cuts to the three of them walking towards their common room on the MOVING STAIRCASES

RON
Who do you think Katie was supposed to give the necklace to?

HERMIONE
Whoever it was has had a narrow escape don’t you think? No one could have opened that package without touching the necklace.

HARRY
It could’ve been meant for loads of people. Dumbledore, Slughorn…I wonder why Malfoy told her to take it into the castle.

HERMIONE
Harry, Malfoy wasn’t in Hogsmeade!

HARRY
He must have used an accomplice then.

RON
(Irritably)
Oh drop it, Harry!

HARRY
Don’t take that tone with me! It’s not my fault Slughorn invited Hermione and me to his stupid party, neither of us wanted to go, you know?

RON
Well, as I’m not invited to any parties, I think I’ll go to bed.
(He walks away from them angrily)

HERMIONE
Harry you should apologize. I know you’re convinced that Malfoys somehow at fault but he wasn’t there….

HARRY
He is involved Hermione, and I’m going to find out how.

She sighs knowing that there’s no point in arguing and The scene fades.


Oh Arry there is just SO much. I like some of the things but you have ALOT of things there. Why the prophecy at the beginning? You're introducing something that won't get brought up again until the 5th film and probably won't be resolved until the 6th. I mean it's an interesting concept and if this was a trilogy I'd say yeah good idea! It'll be interesting to see how your series shapes up though. What is the time limit you're giving yourself?

Just remember Peter Jackson had to fight really hard to get LOTR that long and the thing LOTR had that Harry Potter doesn't are huge battles that lasted 20+ mins. Keep it up though it's very interesting.

ArryGrotter December 20th, 2007 12:09 am

Re: Fan Scripts: Script your own version of Harry Potter
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by Phrozenone (Post 4872786)
Well in light of todays casting news I decided to add the next part of my old HBP screenplay that includes 3 of the newly casted members lol. I didn't want to actual show QUidditch so the following scene is the aftermath and don't worry, we won't be seeing that actual funeral for Aragog :)

Those Harry/Ginny moments are good, and I almost laughed at the arguement over Rosmerta.

But "Bloody hell"? I hate that line. It doesn't seem Ron to me and it's overuse through out the movie series is annoying

Quote:

Originally Posted by Phrozenone (Post 4872786)
Oh Arry there is just SO much. I like some of the things but you have ALOT of things there. Why the prophecy at the beginning? You're introducing something that won't get brought up again until the 5th film and probably won't be resolved until the 6th. I mean it's an interesting concept and if this was a trilogy I'd say yeah good idea! It'll be interesting to see how your series shapes up though. What is the time limit you're giving yourself?

Just remember Peter Jackson had to fight really hard to get LOTR that long and the thing LOTR had that Harry Potter doesn't are huge battles that lasted 20+ mins. Keep it up though it's very interesting.

I'm glad you like at least some of it.

The prophecy bit I added just to add mystery to the film, really. To add something that won't be resolved till later. I think this is important in a series. IMO, the real movies don't do this well. The important things for later get glossed over, and when they need remembering, you won't. (I'm not that good at writing out a point, so I hope you understand)

I hope to finish at roughly 130 pages. I'm about 1/3 way through the book and about 1/3 way through the limit, so I'm kind of OK, but I think the bulk of the pages will probably go to the last chapters, so then I'll be in trouble.

Phrozenone December 20th, 2007 12:27 am

Re: Fan Scripts: Script your own version of Harry Potter
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by ArryGrotter (Post 4872959)
Those Harry/Ginny moments are good, and I almost laughed at the arguement over Rosmerta.

But "Bloody hell"? I hate that line. It doesn't seem Ron to me and it's overuse through out the movie series is annoying



I'm glad you like at least some of it.

The prophecy bit I added just to add mystery to the film, really. To add something that won't be resolved till later. I think this is important in a series. IMO, the real movies don't do this well. The important things for later get glossed over, and when they need remembering, you won't. (I'm not that good at writing out a point, so I hope you understand)

I hope to finish at roughly 130 pages. I'm about 1/3 way through the book and about 1/3 way through the limit, so I'm kind of OK, but I think the bulk of the pages will probably go to the last chapters, so then I'll be in trouble.

Hehehe that's the reason I've put it in my script. I guess I got so used to 'bloody hell' from the other movies i decided to keep up the tradition :p

And I see your point. The thing about the real movies is when the 1st one was done only 4 book were out right? (Or was it 3) so they couldn't really foreshadow with the whole prophecy thing seeing that they didn't know about it lol.

I mean it is interesting but I just feels it's to much. 130 pages huh? Interesting...that means you're going to have to adapt your butt off as you get near the end of the story. Just remember focus on what's important...merge scenes...move things around to have a nice flow going. Do you plan on writing a Quidditch game?

ArryGrotter December 20th, 2007 1:40 am

Re: Fan Scripts: Script your own version of Harry Potter
 
I probably will make a shorter Quidditch scene than in the real movie. I.e. jumping straight to when Harry is jinxed

Phrozenone December 20th, 2007 8:34 am

Re: Fan Scripts: Script your own version of Harry Potter
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by ArryGrotter (Post 4873073)
I probably will make a shorter Quidditch scene than in the real movie. I.e. jumping straight to when Harry is jinxed

That's cool. Quidditch is hard to write though imo..that's why I try to avoid it as much as possible lol. Well as a treat here is the next part of the screenplay. Let me know what you think!

INT. ORPHANAGE-MIDDAY (SIXTY YEARS AGO)

The scene fades to a shot of an old ORPHANAGE. The scene cuts to the back of MRS. COLE head as she writes something. There is a creak at the door and she looks up to see Dumbledore walking towards a woman. The camera pans over to his right and we see modern day Harry and Dumbledore walking behind him.

HARRY
Nice suit, sir.

DUMBLEDORE
Why thank you.

YOUNG DUMBLEDORE
Hello, my name is Albus Dumbledore. I am a teacher and I have come to offer Tom a place at my school.

MRS. COLE
And how come you’re interested in Tom?

YOUNG DUMBLEDORE
We believe he has qualities we are looking for.
(He takes out a slip of paper.)
I think this will make everything clear.

(Mrs. Cole grabs the parchment and looks over it.)

MRS. COLE
This looks in order; may I offer you a glass of gin?

INT-MRS. COLE’S OFFICE-MIDDAY(MOMENTS LATER)

YOUNG DUMBLEDORE
I was wondering whether you could tell me anything of Tom Riddle’s history? I think he was born here in the orphanage?

MRS. COLE
That’s right, it was a nasty night.
(There is a FLASH and the scene plays out as she talks. We see Merope running, pregnant, in the rain towards the orphanage and pushes the door open)
This girl, not much older than I was myself at the time, came and we took her in.
(Merope is now in the bed screaming in pain as young Mrs. Cole wipes a wet towel over her head and a baby is brought into the frame and sat on her chest)
She had the baby in an hour and she was dead in another hour. She told me he was to be named Tom for his father, and Marvolo, for her father and his surname was to be Riddle.
(As she says this we see Merope take her final breath and die. Young Mrs. Cole picks up the baby and there is a shot of the baby looking up at her. Not crying just silent.)
She died soon after that without another word.
(There is another FLASH as we're back to modern day and she takes a sip of gin)
He’s a funny boy.

YOUNG DUMBLEDORE
Oh really, how so?

MRS. COLE
He’s definitely got a place at your school you say? And nothing I can say will change that?

YOUNG DUMBLEDORE
Nothing.

MRS. COLE
Well…he scares the other children.

YOUNG DUMBLEDORE
You mean he’s a bully?

MRS. COLE
I think he must be but it’s very hard to catch him at it. For instance we took them out once to the seaside for a summer outing. Amy Benson and Dennis Bishop were never quite right afterwards, and all we ever got out of them was that they’d gone into a cave with Tom Riddle.

DUMBLEDORE
A cave?

MRS. COLE
Yes and he swore they’d just gone exploring, but something happened in there, I’m sure of it.

INT-TOM’S BEDROOM-MIDDAY (MOMENTS LATER)

The scene cuts to Mrs. Cole opening a door and walking in. Old Dumbledore follows as does Modern Dumbledore and Harry. We see sitting on the bed a young boy, A young Tom Riddle.

MRS. COLE
Tom you’ve got a visitor. This is Mr. Dumberton…sorry, Dunderbore.
(She turns to Dumbledore)
Call me when you’re done.

Mrs. Cole exits

YOUNG DUMBLEDORE
How do you do, Tom? I am Professor Dumbledore.

TOM
Professor? What are you here for? Did she get you in to have a look at me?

YOUNG DUMBLEDORE
No, in fact I contacted her.

TOM
I don’t believe you. She wants me looked at, doesn’t she? Tell the truth!

YOUNG DUMBLEDORE
I have no reason to lie to you Tom and please watch your tone. I work at a school called Hogwarts. I have come to offer you a place at my school, if you would like to come.

TOM
You’re from the asylum aren’t you? That old cat’s the one who should be in the asylum. I never did anything to little Amy Benson or Dennis Bishop, you can ask them!

YOUNG DUMBLEDORE
I am not from the asylum. Hogwarts is a school for people with special abilities…

TOM
I’M NOT MAD!

YOUNG DUMBLEDORE
I know that you are not mad. Hogwarts is not a school for mad people. It is a school of magic.

TOM
(With a stunned look on his face.)
Magic…it’s magic what I can do?

YOUNG DUMBLEDORE
What is it that you can do?

TOM
(Excited)
All sorts. I can make things move without touching them. I can make animals do what I want them to do, without training them. I can make bad things happen to people who annoy me. I can make them hurt if I want to. I knew I was different, I knew I was special.

HARRY
Wow, he believed it much quicker than I did sir.

DUMBLDORE
Yes, Tom was perfectly ready to believe that he was special.

TOM
Are you a wizard too?

YOUNG DUMBLEDORE
Yes, I am.

TOM
Prove it.

YOUNG DUMBLEDORE
If, as I take it, you are accepting your place at Hogwarts….

TOM
Of course I am!

YOUNG DUMBLEDORE
Then you are to address me as ‘Professor’ or ‘sir’

Dumbledore takes out his wand and points in at the wardrobe in the corner. BANG! It bursts into flame. Tom stares with excitement in his eyes and Dumbledore waves his wand again and its back to normal.

TOM
Where can I get one of them?

YOUNG DUMBLEDORE
All in good time, I think there is something trying to get out of your wardrobe. Open the door.

Tom hesitates and then walks over and opens the wardrobe door. He pulls out a cardboard box that is shaking. He opens it and it’s has a yo yo, a silver thimble, and a tarnished mouth organ in it.

DUMBLEDORE
Notice how Tom likes to collect trophies Harry. Those items in that box were taken from victims of his bullying behavior, souvenirs, if you will, of particulary unpleasant bits of magic. Bare in mind this magpie like tendency, for this, particularly, will be important later.

YOUNG DUMBLEDORE
Is there anything in that box that you ought not to have?

TOM
I suppose so, sir.

YOUNG DUMBLEDORE
You are to return them to their owners with your apologies. And be warned: Thieving is not tolerated at Hogwarts. Hogwarts can expel students and the Ministry of Magic will punish lawbreakers. All new wizards must accept that, in entering our world, they abide by our laws.

TOM
Yes, sir. There’s one problem though… I don’t have any money.

YOUNG DUMBLEDORE
There is a fund at Hogwarts for those who require assistance to buy books and robes.

TOM
Where do you buy spellbooks?

YOUNG DUMBLEDORE
In Diagon Alley, I can help you find everything…

TOM
I don’t need you, I’m used to doing things for myself. How do you get to this Diagon Alley…sir?

YOUNG DUMBLEDORE
You will be able to see it. Ask for Tom the barman…
(Tom frowns when the name Tom is said.)
You dislike the name ‘Tom’?

TOM
There are a lot of Toms.

DUMBLEDORE
As you just saw Harry, he hated anything that tied him to other people, anything that made him ordinary. He shed his name, as you know, within a few short years of this and created the mask of ‘Lord Voldemort’ behind which he has been hidden for so long.

TOM
When do I come to this Hogwarts?

YOUNG DUMBLEDORE
All the details are there Tom. You will leave from King’s Cross-station on the first of September.

TOM
I can speak to snakes. Is that normal for a wizard?

YOUNG DUMBLEDORE
It is unusual, but not unheard of.
(HE turns and walks towards the door.)
Good bye Tom…I shall see you in Hogwarts.

The scene shows a shot of Tom looking at Dumbledore. The camera then pans back through the door and slams.

INT-COURTYARD-EVENING (NEXT DAY)

The scene cuts to Harry, Hermione, and Ron walking outside of Hogwarts in the courtyard.

RON
I still don’t get why Dumbledore’s showing you all this. I mean, what’s the point?

HERMIONE
I think it’s fascinating actually. It makes total sense to know as much about Voldemort as possible, how else will you find out his weaknesses?

RON
So how was Slughorn’s latest party?

HERMIONE
It was quite fun actually. I mean he drones on about famouse ex pupils a bit, and he absolutely fawns over McLaggen because he’s so well connected, but it was really nice.

RON
Oh yeah such a great thing to spend an evening with McLaggen huh Hermione.

HERMIONE
Jealous?

RON
Well I….

HERMIONE
Anyways, he’s going to have a Christmas party and Harry there’s no way to wiggle out of this one because he actually asked me to check your free evenings, so he could be sure to have it on a night you could come.

HARRY
Excellent, thanks Hermione

RON
And this is another party just for Slughorns favorites, isn’t it?

HERMIONE
The Slug Club, yes.

RON
Slug Club! That’s pathetic. Well I hope you enjoy the party Hermione, why don’t you try hooking up with McLaggen, you guys could be King and Queen Slug.
(He and Harry laugh)

HERMIONE
Well we are allowed to bring guests and I was going to ask you to come, but if you think it’s stupid then I won’t bother.

RON
(With a slight blush and amazed look on his face)
You…. were going to ask me?

HERMIONE
Yes, but obviously if you’d rather I hooked up with McLaggen

RON
No..um what I meant was…

HERMIONE
I’m off to the library, see you two.

(She walks away with a slight smile on her face)

RON
Was she serious? Do you think she was serious? Or was she just…you know…

HARRY
Oh Ron, you act like you actually want to go to Slughorns party.

RON
Oh…me..no…I mean…unless she asked me of course. But then I’ll be going just to be a good friend, not that I’ll enjoy it or anything.

HARRY
(Laughing)
You’re pathetic

(They turn around and corner and see Ginny and Dean kissing.)

RON
What the…(They stop kissing.)

GINNY
What?

RON
I don’t want to find my own sister snogging people in public.

DEAN
C’mon Ginny lets go back to the common room…

GINNY
You go, I want a word with my dear brother!
(He kisses her on the cheek and walks away.)
Lets get this straight once and for all. It is none of your business who I go out with or what I do with them, Ron…

RON
Yeah, it is! D’you think I want people saying my sister’s a…

GINNY
A what exactly?

HARRY
He doesn’t mean anything, Ginny…

GINNY
Oh yes he does! Just because he’s never snogged anyone in his life, just because the best kiss he’s ever had is from our Auntie Muriel…

RON
Shut your mouth!

GINNY
No, I will not! If you went out and got a bit of snogging done yourself, you wouldn’t mind so much that everyone else does it!

RON
(He pulls his wand out)
You don’t know what you’re talking about!
(Harry jumps between them)
Just because I don’t do it in public!!

GINNY
Oh come off it Ron! Or have you got a picture of Auntie Muriel stashed under your pillow?

A streak of orange light flies from his wand and BANG! it hits the wall beside Ginny’s head. Harry grabs his and pushes him against the wall.

HARRY
Don’t be stupid…

GINNY
(Near Tears)
Harry’s snogged Cho Chang and Hermione snogged Victor Krum, it’s only you who acts like it’s something disgusting, Ron, and that’s because you’ve got as much experience of a six year old!

She turns around and storms off. Ron puts his wand away.

HARRY
You ok?

RON
Yeah, she’s just being stupid.
(They start to walk.)
Um Harry? D’you think Hermione really snogged Krum?

HARRY
Oh…um…look at the time gotta go

He runs off leaving Ron with a confused look on his face as the scene cuts to….

ArryGrotter December 20th, 2007 9:35 pm

Re: Fan Scripts: Script your own version of Harry Potter
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by Phrozenone (Post 4873459)
Well as a treat here is the next part of the screenplay. Let me know what you think!

I didn't have time to read this yesterday, so...

I like how you moved the aftermath of the Penseive into the Penseive (Though I do miss "The mouth organ was only ever a mouth organ")

And next comes some of my favourite scenes, though I am dissapointed with the scene move (Herbology>Courtyard, etc.) and that is sure to happen in the real HBP.

This is just personal choice, but in the UK ed, Ron/Hermione say "got off with McClaggen" instead of "hook up with McClaggen" and, IMO, I'd preferr "got off", mainly because its the UK way.

"Look at the time" was so cheesy! Worst line ever!

I can't wait to see you write the party.

Phrozenone December 20th, 2007 11:39 pm

Re: Fan Scripts: Script your own version of Harry Potter
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by ArryGrotter (Post 4874047)
I didn't have time to read this yesterday, so...

I like how you moved the aftermath of the Penseive into the Penseive (Though I do miss "The mouth organ was only ever a mouth organ")

And next comes some of my favourite scenes, though I am dissapointed with the scene move (Herbology>Courtyard, etc.) and that is sure to happen in the real HBP.

This is just personal choice, but in the UK ed, Ron/Hermione say "got off with McClaggen" instead of "hook up with McClaggen" and, IMO, I'd preferr "got off", mainly because its the UK way.

"Look at the time" was so cheesy! Worst line ever!

I can't wait to see you write the party.

:lol::lol::lol:

Oh come on! It isn't as cheesy as 'I love magic' is it?!?! lol Well what's a Harry Potter film without a little cheese huh? Thanks for the UK reference because I honestly have no idea (Like Kloves huh? :p)

Since it's the holiday season I decided instead of waiting another month I'd post the party scene for you enjoyment. Plus I have to make up time since I disappeared for a few months lol. So here is the next section of the script and I'm sure you're going to have plenty of comments for this one lol. (Hopefully it's not full of cheese :err:)

INT-CORRIDOR/GRYFFINDOR COMMON ROOM-NIGHT (SAME DAY)

Harry walking down the corrider leaving Detention with Snape. He walks into the common room and we see Ginny walk up towards him from the crowd in the middle of the room.

HARRY
Hey Ginny. Have you seen…

GINNY
Looking for Ron? He’s over there, the filthy hypocrite.

Ron and Lavender Brown are sitting in a chair kissing heavily

GINNY
It looks like he’s eating her face, but I suppose he’s got to refine his technique somehow huh?

Harry chuckles as Ginny walks off to join Dean as Hermione comes through the portrait into the common room and see’s Ron and Lavender and stops in her tracks. She turns around quickly and walks out. Harry looks over at where she was and follows.

INT-CLASSROOM-NIGHT (MOMENTS LATER)

Harry walks into the classroom where Hermione is sitting alone. She has a small ring of yellow birds circling her head.

HARRY
Hermione?

HERMIONE
Oh, hello Harry. I was just practicing.

HARRY
They’re really good.

HERMIONE
Thanks…

HARRY
Are you alright?

Before she could answer the door opens and Ron and Lavender run in holding hands and laughing.

RON
Oh….

LAVENDER
Oops

She laughs, kisses Ron, and walks out of the room.

There is an awkward silence for a second.

RON
Hi, Harry! Wondered where you’d got to!

Hermione stands up and the birds are still circling her head.

HERMIONE
You shouldn’t leave Lavender waiting outside.

(She walks slowly towards the door. Harry and Ron both look at each other. Hermione stops at the entrance of the door and turns around.)

Oppugno!!!

She points her wand at Ron and the birds all sped towards Ron and start pecking and clawing at him. He starts to scream and try and get them out of his face. She smiles a little and walks out of them room.

INT-THE GREAT HALL-DAY

Ron and Harry are sitting in the Great Hall. Harry is reading a book. While Ron is talking its clear that Harry is ignoring him.

RON
She can’t complain she snogged Krum. I never promised Hermione anything. I mean, alright, I was going to go to Slughorns Christmas party with her, but just as friends…I’m a free agent.

INT-GREAT HALL-LATER THAT DAY

The camera pans over and now it’s just Harry and Hermione sitting in the Great Hall. He’s reading his Advanced Potions book.

HERMIONE
He’s at perfect liberty to kiss whomever he likes! I really couldn’t care less.

She starts to write something furiously on the parchment in front of her.

INT. POTIONS CLASS (DAY)/GREAT HALL(AFTERNOON)/CORRIDOR(NIGHT)

The camera cuts to them in class and we see a shot of Ron and Lavender. He raises his hand mocking how Hermione always does. Harry looks at this then turns to look at Hermione who gets up and walks out of the room furiously.

Now Ron and Harry are sitting in the Great Hall eating dinner and Hermione comes over and throws a pie in Rons face and storms off.

The scene cuts again to Harry and Hermione walking down the hallways of Hogwarts.

HERMIONE
Harry, you need to be careful.

HARRY
I’m not giving the book back Hermione.

HERMIONE
I’m not talking about your stupid so-called Prince Harry. I went into the girl’s bathroom just before I came in here and I overheard Romilda Vane talking to some of her friends. They’re all hoping you’re going to take them to Slughorn’s party, and they all seem to have bought Fred and George’s love potions.. I’d just invite someone to go with if I was you.

HARRY
There isn’t anyone I want to invite.

HERMIONE
Well just be careful what you drink.

INT-MOVING STAIRWAY-SECONDS LATER

They start walking up the stairs towards the Common Room.

HARRY
Hang on, I thought Filch banned anything bought at Weasleys’ Wizard Wheezes? How come these girls are able to bring love potions into school?

HERMIONE
Fred and George send them disguised as perfumes and cough potions.

HARRY
So if these girls are getting stuff into the school disguised as something else, why wouldn’t Malfoy have…

HERMIONE
Oh Harry please, not that again. Secrecy Sensors detect jinxes, curses, and concealment charms. They’re used to find Dark Magic and Dark objects. Love potions aren’t Dark or dangerous…

HARRY
Easy for you to say…

(They stop in front of the Fat Lady)

Baubles!

FAT LADY
Same to you…

The portrait swings open they walk into the common room and Romilda Vane looks up at them and turns to grab something from one of her friends and runs up to them.

ROMILDA
Hi Harry! Fancy a gillywater?

Hermione casts an ‘I told you so’ look to Harry.

HARRY
No thanks; I don’t like it much.

ROMILDA
Well, take these anyway
(She thrusts a box into his hands.)
Chocolate Cauldrons, they’ve got firewhisky in them. My gran sent them to me, but I don’t like them.

HARRY
Oh, thanks a lot.

Romilda smiles and walks back to her group of giggling friends

HERMIONE
Pathetic what some girls would do for a boy. Oh well I’m off to do more things to make Ron jealous.

As she walks away Harry casts an “I don’t think I’ll ever understand girls” look and

INT-BRIDGE-MIDDAY

The scene cuts to shot of Hogwarts covered in snow. Harry standing outside on the bridge with Hedwig and we see him looking at Ginny and Dean playing in the snow together.

HARRY
Am I being pathetic Hedwig, I mean she’s my best friends sister. How do you think Ron would react?
(Hedwig hoots)
Yeah you’re right…I mean she’s like a little sister, but there seems to be something…more.
(Hedwig hoots and Luna walks up next to him.)

LUNA
Hiya Harry!

HARRY
Oh hey Luna, how has your term been going?

LUNA
Oh it’s been all right. A bit lonely without the D.A. Ginny’s been nice, though and I just ran into Hermione, she seems a bit upset. She said something about that Ron Weasley….

HARRY
Yeah, they’ve had a row.

LUNA
He says very funny things sometimes, doesn’t he? But he can be a bit unkind, I noticed that last year.

HARRY
I suppose. Hey…Luna…how would you like to come to Slughorn’s party with me?

LUNA
(shocked)
Slughorn’s party? With you?

HARRY
Yeah. We’re supposed to bring guests, so I thought you might like…I mean just as friends, you know? But if you don’t want to…

LUNA
Oh, no, I’d love to go with you as friends! Nobody’s ever asked me to a party before, as a friend!

HARRY
Right, so I’ll meet you in the entrance hall at eight o’ clock then.

Luna smiles and skips off and …

INT-THE GREAT HALL-EVENING

The scene cuts to them in the Great Hall where there are Christmas decorations set up and a few elves singing Christmas songs.

RON
You’re taking Loony Lovegood!

GINNY
Don’t call her that Ron! I’m really glad you’re taking her Harry, she’s so excited.

(She walks over and sits with Dean and we see a shot of Hermione sitting down by herself at the end of the table. Parvati walks up to them.)

PARVATI
Hi, Harry.

HARRY
Hey, you’re staying at Hogwarts then? I heard your parents wanted you to leave.

PARVATI
I managed to talk them out of it for the time being.
(Hermione walks past them.)
Oh, hi Hermione!

HERMIONE
Hi, Parvati! Are you going to Slughorn’s party tonight?

PARVATI
No invite, you’re going aren’t you?

HERMIONE
Yes, I’m meeting Cormac McLaggen at eight.

(We see a shot of Ron turning around furiously and looking at her.)

PARVATI
Oh really? Are you going out with him, then?

HERMIONE
Oh…yes…didn’t you know?

PARVATI
No! Wow, you like your Quidditch players don’t you? First Krum, then McLaggen…

HERMIONE
I like really good Quidditch players.
(Ron frowns and furiously starts to eat his food)
Well I’m off to the library.
(She walks off and we see her smile and the scene cuts to…

INT. SLUGHORNS PARTY-NIGHT

The scene cuts to Slughorns party. There are teachers and students walking around and talking to each other. The camera pans to Harry and Luna walking into the room and Slughorn walks up to them

SLUGHORN
Harry, mboy! Welcome welcome. I’m glad to see you here!

HARRY
Yeah, thanks.
(He notices Hermione over in the corner.)
Oh, sorry sir I have to go see about a friend.
(He grabs Luna’s arm and they walk over to Hermione.)
Hermione?

HERMIONE
Harry! Thank goodness, Hi Luna!

HARRY
What happened to you?

HERMIONE
Oh, I’ve just escaped…I mean, I’ve just left Cormac. Under the mistletoe…

HARRY
Serves you right for coming with him.

HERMIONE
I thought he’d annoy Ron most. He makes Grawp look like a gentleman. Let’s go this way, we’ll be able to see him coming
(The three of them walk across the room towards Professor Trelawney.)

LUNA
Hello Professor.

TRELAWNY
Good evening, my dear. I haven’t seen you in my classes lately…

Harry turns to Hermione as Trelawney talks to Luna

HERMIONE
Do you see him?

HARRY
Yeah, as a matter of fact he’s coming this way

HERMIONE
Oh no!
(She ducks down and runs as McLaggen walks up to Harry and Luna.)

CORMAC
Potter!

HARRY
What do you want?

CORMAC
Hermione!
(Harry stares at him.)
I mean have you seen her?

HARRY
No
(Cormac gives Harry a slight frown and walks away. Harry turns to see Hermione sticking her head out from behind the wall. She mouths 'thank you' and ducsk again. Harry laughs then he turns around to Luna and Trelawney’s conversation.)

TRELAWNY
Harry Potter! My dear boy! The rumors! The stories! The Chosen One! Of course, I have known for a very long time. Why have you not returned to Divination?

HARRY
Well…um…
(Slughorn walks up to them and Harry for the first time acts as if he’s g lad to see him there)

SLUGHORN
Harry m’boy are you avoiding me?

HARRY
Um…no sir…

SLUGHORN
How are you Sybill?

TRELAWNY
Just fine thanks, just here wondering why Potter didn’t return to Divination, the subject is very important, especially for him.

SLUGHORN
We all think our subjects are important…ahhh Severus! Come and join us!

(The camera pans to Snape who was talking to another teacher. He turns and walks towards them.)

SLUGHORN
Have I told you about Harry’s exceptional potion making? Some credit must go to you, of course, you taught him for five years!

SNAPE
Funny, I never had the impression that I managed to teach Potter anything at all.

SLUGHORN
Well, it’s natural ability. You should have seen what he gave me, first lesson, Draught of Living Death…not even you managed it on your first attempt Severus.

SNAPE
Really?
(He casts a look at Harry.)

SLUGHORN
What other subjects are you taking m’boy?

HARRY
Well…there’s Defense Against the Dark Arts, Charms, Transfiguration…

SNAPE
All the subjects required, in short for an Auror.

HARRY
Yeah, well, that’s what I want to do.

LUNA
I don’t think you should be an Auror Harry. They are a part of the Rotfang Conspiracy. They’re working to bring down the Ministry of Magic from within using a combination of Dark Magic and gum disease.

(They all stare at her and we see Filch walk up holding Malfoy by the ear.)

FILCH
Professor Slughorn, I discovered this boy lurking in an upstairs corridor. He claims to have been invited to your party and to have been delayed in setting out?

MALFOY
All right, I wasn’t invited! I was trying to gatecrash, happy?

FILCH
No, I’m not! You’re in trouble, you are!

SLUGHORN
That’s all right, Argus. It’s Christmas, and it’s not a crime to want to come to a party. We’ll forget any punishment and you may stay, Draco.

(Filch gives an angry grunt and storms off.)

SNAPE
I’d like a word with you, Draco.

SLUGHORN
Oh, now, Severus it’s Christmas, don’t be too hard…

SNAPE
I’m his Head of House, and I shall decide how hard, or otherwise, to be. Follow me, Draco. (Snape turns and walks away and Malfoy follows him.)

HARRY
Um..Luna…I’ll be back in a bit…bathroom.

LUNA
All right.

TRELAWNY
So dear, tell me more about this Rotfang Conspiracy…

INT-HALLLWAY-NIGHT (MOMENTS LATER)

Harry walks out of the room into the dark quite corridor. He pulls out his Invisibility Cloak and throws it over himself. He then walks slowly down the hall and turns to corner and see’s Snape and Draco standing there.

SNAPE
You cannot afford mistakes, Draco, because if you are expelled…

DRACO
I didn’t have anything to do with it, all right?

SNAPE
I hope you are telling the truth, because it was both clumsy and foolish. Already you are suspected of having a hand in it.

DRACO
Who suspects me? For the last time, I didn’t do it, okay?

SNAPE
Ah…Aunt Bellatrix has been teaching you Occlumency, I see. What thoughts are you trying to conceal from your master, Draco?

DRACO
I’m not trying to conceal anything; I just don’t want you butting in!

SNAPE
Listen to me; I am trying to help you. I made the Unbreakable Vow, Draco…

DRACO
Looks like you’ll have to break it then, because I don’t need your protection. I’ve got a plan and it’s going to work!

SNAPE
What is your plan?

DRACO
It’s none of your business!

SNAPE
Draco I can assist you…

DRACO
I’ve got all the assitance I need thanks, I’m not alone!

SNAPE
You were certainly alone tonight…

DRACO
I would’ve had Crabbe and Goyle if you hadn’t put them in detention!

SNAPE
If your friends intend to pass their Defense Against the Dark Arts O.W.L…

DRACO
What does it matter? It’s all a joke, an act. Like any of us need protecting against the Dark Arts…

SNAPE
It is an act that is crucial to success Draco! Confide in me and I can…

DRACO
I know what you’re up to! You want to steal my glory!

SNAPE
You are speaking like a child! I quite understand that your fathers capture and imprisonment has upset you, but…

Draco walks away immediately from Snape. Harry stands very still as he walks by. We see a shot of Snape watching Draco walk away and he returns back to the direction the party. We see a look of shock on Harry’s face and the scene fades…

ArryGrotter December 21st, 2007 5:17 am

Re: Fan Scripts: Script your own version of Harry Potter
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by Phrozenone (Post 4874196)
:lol::lol::lol:

Oh come on! It isn't as cheesy as 'I love magic' is it?!?! lol Well what's a Harry Potter film without a little cheese huh?

Actually I don't mind 'I love magic tooooooo much. But that line was photograph cheese.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Phrozenone (Post 4874196)
Thanks for the UK reference because I honestly have no idea (Like Kloves huh? :p)

I've often wondered which edition Kloves/Goldenberg adapts from. If it is the US, then :grumble: :grumble: :grumble: :grumble: :grumble: :grumble: :grumble: :grumble: :grumble: :grumble: :grumble: :grumble: :grumble: :grumble: :grumble: :grumble: :grumble: :grumble: :grumble: :grumble: :grumble: (I think that's enough)

Quote:

Originally Posted by Phrozenone (Post 4874196)
INT-CLASSROOM-NIGHT (MOMENTS LATER)

Harry walks into the classroom where Hermione is sitting alone. She has a small ring of yellow birds circling her head.

HARRY
Hermione?

HERMIONE
Oh, hello Harry. I was just practicing.

HARRY
They’re really good.

HERMIONE
Thanks…

HARRY
Are you alright?

Before she could answer the door opens and Ron and Lavender run in holding hands and laughing.

RON
Oh….

LAVENDER
Oops

She laughs, kisses Ron, and walks out of the room.

There is an awkward silence for a second.

RON
Hi, Harry! Wondered where you’d got to!

Hermione stands up and the birds are still circling her head.

HERMIONE
You shouldn’t leave Lavender waiting outside.

(She walks slowly towards the door. Harry and Ron both look at each other. Hermione stops at the entrance of the door and turns around.)

Oppugno!!!

She points her wand at Ron and the birds all sped towards Ron and start pecking and clawing at him. He starts to scream and try and get them out of his face. She smiles a little and walks out of them room.

This scene just goes too fast for my liking....

Quote:

Originally Posted by Phrozenone (Post 4874196)
INT-THE GREAT HALL-DAY

Ron and Harry are sitting in the Great Hall. Harry is reading a book. While Ron is talking its clear that Harry is ignoring him.

RON
She can’t complain she snogged Krum. I never promised Hermione anything. I mean, alright, I was going to go to Slughorns Christmas party with her, but just as friends…I’m a free agent.

INT-GREAT HALL-LATER THAT DAY

The camera pans over and now it’s just Harry and Hermione sitting in the Great Hall. He’s reading his Advanced Potions book.

HERMIONE
He’s at perfect liberty to kiss whomever he likes! I really couldn’t care less.

She starts to write something furiously on the parchment in front of her.

I LOVE this (though might have tweaked it a bit. I know, I'm harsh)

Quote:

Originally Posted by Phrozenone (Post 4874196)
Now Ron and Harry are sitting in the Great Hall eating dinner and Hermione comes over and throws a pie in Rons face and storms off.

:lol:Since When did Hermione go to clown school????

Quote:

Originally Posted by Phrozenone (Post 4874196)
The scene cuts again to Harry and Hermione walking down the hallways of Hogwarts.

HERMIONE
Harry, you need to be careful.

HARRY
I’m not giving the book back Hermione.

HERMIONE
I’m not talking about your stupid so-called Prince Harry. I went into the girl’s bathroom just before I came in here and I overheard Romilda Vane talking to some of her friends. They’re all hoping you’re going to take them to Slughorn’s party, and they all seem to have bought Fred and George’s love potions.. I’d just invite someone to go with if I was you.

HARRY
There isn’t anyone I want to invite.

HERMIONE
Well just be careful what you drink.

This scene just comes out of nowhere.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Phrozenone (Post 4874196)
HERMIONE
Pathetic what some girls would do for a boy. Oh well I’m off to do more things to make Ron jealous.

As she walks away Harry casts an “I don’t think I’ll ever understand girls” look

Say CHEESE:p

Quote:

Originally Posted by Phrozenone (Post 4874196)
INT-BRIDGE-MIDDAY

The scene cuts to shot of Hogwarts covered in snow. Harry standing outside on the bridge with Hedwig and we see him looking at Ginny and Dean playing in the snow together.

HARRY
Am I being pathetic Hedwig, I mean she’s my best friends sister. How do you think Ron would react?
(Hedwig hoots)
Yeah you’re right…I mean she’s like a little sister, but there seems to be something…more.
(Hedwig hoots and Luna walks up next to him.)

LUNA
Hiya Harry!

How Luna comes in makes it look to the audience like its going to end up Luna/Harry.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Phrozenone (Post 4874196)
INT-THE GREAT HALL-EVENING

The scene cuts to them in the Great Hall where there are Christmas decorations set up and a few elves singing Christmas songs.

Four letters: S P E W !!!

Quote:

Originally Posted by Phrozenone (Post 4874196)
HERMIONE
I like really good Quidditch players.
(Ron frowns and furiously starts to eat his food)
Well I’m off to the library.
(She walks off and we see her smile and the scene cuts to…

I think the library part ruined this line. It's an awesome line and it needs to be used fully.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Phrozenone (Post 4874196)
CORMAC
Hermione!
(Harry stares at him.)
I mean have you seen her?

Do you want some more cheese?

Quote:

Originally Posted by Phrozenone (Post 4874196)
TRELAWNY
So dear, tell me more about this Rotfang Conspiracy…

:lol::lol::lol:

Quote:

INT-HALLLWAY-NIGHT (MOMENTS LATER)

Harry walks out of the room into the dark quite corridor. He pulls out his Invisibility Cloak and throws it over himself. He then walks slowly down the hall and turns to corner and see’s Snape and Draco standing there.

SNAPE
You cannot afford mistakes, Draco, because if you are expelled…

DRACO
I didn’t have anything to do with it, all right?

SNAPE
I hope you are telling the truth, because it was both clumsy and foolish. Already you are suspected of having a hand in it.

DRACO
Who suspects me? For the last time, I didn’t do it, okay?

SNAPE
Ah…Aunt Bellatrix has been teaching you Occlumency, I see. What thoughts are you trying to conceal from your master, Draco?

DRACO
I’m not trying to conceal anything; I just don’t want you butting in!

SNAPE
Listen to me; I am trying to help you. I made the Unbreakable Vow, Draco…

DRACO
Looks like you’ll have to break it then, because I don’t need your protection. I’ve got a plan and it’s going to work!

SNAPE
What is your plan?

DRACO
It’s none of your business!

SNAPE
Draco I can assist you…

DRACO
I’ve got all the assitance I need thanks, I’m not alone!

SNAPE
You were certainly alone tonight…

DRACO
I would’ve had Crabbe and Goyle if you hadn’t put them in detention!

SNAPE
If your friends intend to pass their Defense Against the Dark Arts O.W.L…

DRACO
What does it matter? It’s all a joke, an act. Like any of us need protecting against the Dark Arts…

SNAPE
It is an act that is crucial to success Draco! Confide in me and I can…

DRACO
I know what you’re up to! You want to steal my glory!

SNAPE
You are speaking like a child! I quite understand that your fathers capture and imprisonment has upset you, but…

Draco walks away immediately from Snape. Harry stands very still as he walks by. We see a shot of Snape watching Draco walk away and he returns back to the direction the party. We see a look of shock on Harry’s face and the scene fades…
I really don't have any problems with this...

The above is probably a bit too negative. Sorry. Can I just say I'm really happy that someone else is participating in this thread and it is great to see other peoples work.

Phrozenone December 21st, 2007 6:30 am

Re: Fan Scripts: Script your own version of Harry Potter
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by ArryGrotter (Post 4874475)
Actually I don't mind 'I love magic tooooooo much. But that line was photograph cheese.

Oh come onnnnnnn...mice are running all over the I love magic line :lol:

Quote:

This scene just goes too fast for my liking....
Yeah it is kind of quick isn't it? I should so do a rewrite now that OOTP is out and maybe we both can come up with the ultimate HBP script....but not to much...can't outwrite Kloves can we? lol

Quote:

I LOVE this (though might have tweaked it a bit. I know, I'm harsh)
YAY you like something!!! :clap::clap::clap::clap:

And no worries you're not harsh trust me. It's your opinion and the reason this thread is here is for other fans opinions on your work. I'm glad you're so honest, keep it up! (Just don't make me cry...)

Quote:

:lol: Since When did Hermione go to clown school????
:lol::lol: I remember when I wrote that. I'd come up with this whole 'Ron/Hermione' montage thing where they're both kinda arguing and Harry is ignoring them both (Kinda what you've read so far) and Ron teases Hermione just like in the book but I couldn't find anything that Hermione could really get Ron back with.

Oooohhhh you know what I just thought? Maybe I could come up with something that has spiders involved? :scared:

Quote:

This scene just comes out of nowhere.
IT was supposed to be the 'after the montage' scene. You know fades from Hermione's final assault on Ron to Harry and Hermione walking and just talking like nothing is happening.

Quote:

Say CHEESE :p
LOL I actually quite liked that line actually :lol: What can I say? I love me some cheese!

Quote:

How Luna comes in makes it look to the audience like its going to end up Luna/Harry.
You think so? I never got that...hmmmm. THat's why I added him looking at Ginny and talking to Hedwig about her. How does it make them think that in your opinion?

Quote:

Four letters: S P E W !!!
Actually I wanted so bad to add like a little S.P.E.W. reference in my script...just as a nod to the book fans. After Harry sends Kreacher and Dobby off I was going to have Hermione get frustrated with it and say something about how she should start up a club to liberate house elves and name it S.P.E.W. and Ron and Harry would kinda look at her and they all would say "Nah that would never work."

Quote:

I think the library part ruined this line. It's an awesome line and it needs to be used fully.
Yeah? Hermione's always saying that though...what do u suggest I do? Just have her leave or something?

Quote:

Do you want some more cheese?
Yes please! :lol::lol::lol:

Quote:

:lol::lol::lol:
I was SO hoping you'd laugh at that. I chuckle everytime I read that.

Quote:

I really don't have any problems with this...

The above is probably a bit too negative. Sorry. Can I just say I'm really happy that someone else is participating in this thread and it is great to see other peoples work.
Cool...and like I said no worries I don't see your comments as negative at all actually. Constructive criticism my friend...works wonders...Kloves needs someone to do that for him :p

And no problems I like this thread because you're really the only other person, besides myself, that has read this script and I'm SO happy to hear what someone else thinks.

ArryGrotter December 21st, 2007 6:52 am

Re: Fan Scripts: Script your own version of Harry Potter
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by Phrozenone (Post 4874505)
You think so? I never got that...hmmmm. That's why I added him looking at Ginny and talking to Hedwig about her. How does it make them think that in your opinion?

I'll just find the scene to figure out...

Quote:

Originally Posted by Phrozenone (Post 4874196)
INT-BRIDGE-MIDDAY

The scene cuts to shot of Hogwarts covered in snow. Harry standing outside on the bridge with Hedwig and we see him looking at Ginny and Dean playing in the snow together.

HARRY
Am I being pathetic Hedwig, I mean she’s my best friends sister. How do you think Ron would react?
(Hedwig hoots)
Yeah you’re right…I mean she’s like a little sister, but there seems to be something…more.
(Hedwig hoots and Luna walks up next to him.)

LUNA
Hiya Harry!

I think I've figured it out...

"There seems to be something more..." (Luna skips dreamily into veiw)

Also think of the many times the bridge scene in GoF of Harry and Hermione has been bash because it can perceive a H/Hr relationship.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Phrozenone (Post 4874505)
Actually I wanted so bad to add like a little S.P.E.W. reference in my script...just as a nod to the book fans. After Harry sends Kreacher and Dobby off I was going to have Hermione get frustrated with it and say something about how she should start up a club to liberate house elves and name it S.P.E.W. and Ron and Harry would kinda look at her and they all would say "Nah that would never work."

I think you misinterpreted what I meant...
I just didn't like those elfs singing... They shoud be paid overtime for that! :lol:

Quote:

Originally Posted by Phrozenone (Post 4874505)
Yeah? Hermione's always saying that though...what do u suggest I do? Just have her leave or something?

It just ruined the line for me... I know it's Hermione at but - ....... Hermione ISN'T Hermione then! She's scheming!Hermione, so saying she's going to the library reverts her back to Normal!Hermione. I'd just have her leave (Perhaps glancing at Ron).

Quote:

Originally Posted by Phrozenone (Post 4874505)
Cool...and like I said no worries I don't see your comments as negative at all actually. Constructive criticism my friend...works wonders...Kloves needs someone to do that for him :p

And no problems I like this thread because you're really the only other person, besides myself, that has read this script and I'm SO happy to hear what someone else thinks.

OK.

Phrozenone December 21st, 2007 7:03 am

Re: Fan Scripts: Script your own version of Harry Potter
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by ArryGrotter (Post 4874513)
I think I've figured it out...

"There seems to be something more..." (Luna skips dreamily into veiw)

Also think of the many times the bridge scene in GoF of Harry and Hermione has been bash because it can perceive a H/Hr relationship.

Ooooooooohhhhhhhhhhhhhh gotcha :tu::tu:

Quote:

I think you misinterpreted what I meant...
I just didn't like those elfs singing... They shoud be paid overtime for that:lol:
Nah it's just when you said that I wanted to share an idea I had lol

But no overpay for the elves darn it! Fine..I'll have the frogs from POA sing it then :p

Quote:

It just ruined the line for me... I know it's Hermione at but - ....... Hermione ISN'T Hermione then! She's scheming!Hermione, so saying she's going to the library reverts her back to Normal!Hermione. I'd just have her leave (Perhaps glancing at Ron).
Ah I see what you mean.

Quote:

OK.
:upset: You didn't have to yell :upset::upset:

:p:p kidding

ArryGrotter December 21st, 2007 7:20 am

Re: Fan Scripts: Script your own version of Harry Potter
 
After that lengthly dicussion of the Party.....

I did this in the last week. It is horrible. I don't know how to fix it, but Iwant to keep it....

PS: Platform 9 3/4 (It's a terrible mess)INT. KITCHEN - 4 PRIVET DRIVE - EVENING
(A LITTLE LATER) (31/8/1991)

Vernon, Petunia and Dudley are watching TV. Harry enters cautiously. Dudley scurries from the room at the sight of him, pig tail still noticeable.

HARRY POTTER
Er - Uncle Vernon?

Vernon grunts, still watching TV.

HARRY POTTER (CONT’D)
Er - I need to be at King's Cross tomorrow to - to go to Hogwarts.

Vernon grunts again.

HARRY POTTER (CONT’D)
Would it be all right if you gave me a lift?

Grunt again.

HARRY POTTER (CONT’D)
Er - Thank you.

Harry turns to leave, but...

VERNON DURSLEY
Funny way to get to a wizards' school, the train. Magic carpets all got punctures, have they?

Harry simply turns back.

VERNON DURSLEY (CONT’D)
Where is this school, anyway?

HARRY POTTER
(Suddenly realizing the answer)
I don't know.

Harry pulls out his ticket and reads it.

HARRY POTTER (CONT’D)
I just take the train from platform nine and three-quarters at eleven o'clock.

VERNON DURSLEY
Don't talk rubbish. There is no platform nine and three-quarters.

HARRY POTTER
It's on my ticket.

VERNON DURSLEY
Barking, howling mad, the lot of them. You just wait. All right, we'll take you to King's Cross. We're going up to London tomorrow anyway. Got to have Dudley’s ruddy tail removed.

INT. KING’S CROSS STATION - LATE MORNING
(1/9/1991)

On one platform is a big plastic ‘9’ and on the platform next to it is a big plastic ‘10’. Vernon smiles evilly.

VERNON DURSLEY
Well, there you are, boy. Platform nine - platform ten. Your platform should be somewhere in the middle, but they don't seem to have built it yet.

The Dursley’s depart.

VERNON DURSLEY (CONT’D)
Have a good term.

Vernon and Dudley start laughing at once. Petunia on the other hand, looks at the barrier between the two platforms for a few seconds then begins to laugh like her husband and son.

Harry is alone with a trolley carrying his trunk and his pet owl, Hedwig. Just when he begins to become worried, he hears a voice.

MOLLY WEASLEY
...packed with Muggles of course...

Harry miraculously sees a woman (MOLLY WEASLEY) and her 10-year-old daughter (GINNY WEASLEY) followed by four boys (RON WEASLEY, FRED WEASLEY, GEORGE WEASLEY and PERCY WEASLEY), each pushing a trunk like Harry and the eldest (Percy) also storing an owl. Ginny points to a solid brick wall.

GINNY WEASLEY
Platform nine and three-quarters! Mum, can't I go...

MOLLY WEASLEY
You're not old enough, Ginny, now be quiet. All right, Percy, you go first.

Percy comes forward, making his way to the solid brick wall between platforms 9 and 10. A group of tourists come passed blocking Harry’s view. When they leave, Percy has vanished.

MOLLY WEASLEY (CONT’D)
Fred, George, you next.

He and his twin, George, run towards the wall ... and disappear.

HARRY POTTER
Excuse me.

Molly turns to Harry.

MOLLY WEASLEY
Hello, dear. First time at Hogwarts? Ron's new, too.

She points to the last and youngest of her sons.

HARRY POTTER
Yes. The thing is - I don't know how to -

He points to the brick wall.

MOLLY WEASLEY
Not to worry. All you have to do is walk straight at the barrier between platforms nine and ten. Best do it at a bit of a run if you're nervous. Go on, go now before Ron.

HARRY POTTER
Er - okay.

Harry starts to push his trolley forward and gulps. Closer and closer the brick wall comes. Then...

INT. PLATFORM NINE AND THREE QUARTERS - LATE MORNING
(1/9/1991)

...he falls through, and he finds himself on a platform packed with people.
‘Hogwarts Express, eleven o’clock’ reads a sign overhead. Behind him is an archway, the words ‘Platform Nine and Three-Quarters’ etched into it.
Taking his trunk, Harry passes owls, cats and wizards, trying find an empty compartment.

NEVILLE LONGBOTTOM
Gran, I've lost my toad again.

AUGUSTA LONGBOTTOM
Oh, Neville.

Harry finds an empty carriage and tries to lift through the carriage door. It drops onto his foot.

GEORGE WEASLEY
Want a hand?

Fred and George Weasley spot Harry’s trouble.

HARRY POTTER
Yes, please.

Together the three of them...

INT. HOGWARTS EXPRESS COMPARTMENT - LATE MORNING
(1/9/1991)

...get the trunk into Harry’s compartment. Subconsciously, Harry sweeps his hair of his forehead with his hand, revealing the scar on his forehead.

FRED WEASLEY
What’s that?

GEORGE WEASLEY
Blimey, are you?

FRED WEASLEY
He is. Aren’t you?

HARRY POTTER
What?

FRED WEASLEY / GEORGE WEASLEY
Harry Potter!

HARRY POTTER
Oh - Yes - I am.

They both stare at Harry.

MOLLY WEASLEY (O.S.)
Fred? George? Are you there?

FRED WEASLEY / GEORGE WEASLEY
Coming, Mum.

With one last look at Harry, the twins leave.

Harry positions himself so he can see what is happening down at the station.

MOLLY WEASLEY (O.S.)
Ron, you've got something on your nose.

INT. PLATFORM NINE AND THREE QUARTERS - LATE MORNING
(CONTINUOUS ACTION) (1/9/1991)

Ron jerks away as Molly rubs the end of his nose with her handkerchief.

MOLLY WEASLEY
Where's Percy?

FRED WEASLEY
He's coming now.

Percy strides forward, already wearing his Hogwarts robes, a red and gold badge with the letter ‘P’ pinned to it.

PERCY WEASLEY
Can't stay long, Mother. I'm up front with the prefects.
GEORGE WEASLEY

(Sarcastically)
Oh, are you a prefect, Percy? You should have said something.

FRED WEASLEY
Hang on, I think I remember him saying something. Once -

GEORGE WEASLEY
Or twice -

FRED WEASLEY
A minute -

GEORGE WEASLEY
All summer -

PERCY WEASLEY
Oh, shut up.

MOLLY WEASLEY
(To Percy)
Well, have a good term and send me an owl when you get there.

She kisses him on the cheek and he departs. She then turns on the twins.

MOLLY WEASLEY (CONT’D)
Now, you two. If I get one more owl telling me you've - you've blown up a toilet or -

FRED WEASLEY
Blown up a toilet? We've never blown up a toilet.

GEORGE WEASLEY
Great idea though, Mum.

MOLLY WEASLEY
It's not funny. And look after Ron.

FRED WEASLEY
Don't worry, ickle Ronniekins is safe with us.

RON WEASLEY
Shut up.

GEORGE WEASLEY
Hey Mum, guess what!

INT. HOGWARTS EXPRESS COMPARTMENT - LATE MORNING
(CONTINUOUS ACTION) (1/9/1991)

Harry leans back so they can’t notice him looking.

GEORGE WEASLEY (O.S.)
Guess who we just met on the train?

INT. PLATFORM NINE AND THREE QUARTERS - LATE MORNING
(CONTINUOUS ACTION) (1/9/1991)

FRED WEASLEY
You know that black-haired boy who was near us in the station? Know who he is?

MOLLY WEASLEY
Who?

FRED WEASLEY
Harry Potter!

Ginny suddenly becomes excited.

GINNY WEASLEY
Oh, Mum, can I go on the train and see him, Mum, oh please...

MOLLY WEASLEY
You've already seen him, Ginny, and the poor boy isn't something you goggle at in a zoo. Is he really, Fred? How do you know?

FRED WEASLEY
Asked him. Saw his scar. It's really there - like lightning.

MOLLY WEASLEY
Poor dear - no wonder he was alone.

FRED WEASLEY
Do you think he remembers what You-Know-Who looks like?

MOLLY WEASLEY
I forbid you to ask him, Fred. As though he needs reminding of that on his first day at school.

FRED WEASLEY
All right, keep your hair on.

A whistle sounds. Molly kisses each of them. Ginny starts to cry.

FRED WEASLEY (CONT’D)
Don't, Ginny, we'll send you loads of owls.

GEORGE WEASLEY
We'll send you a Hogwarts toilet seat.

MOLLY WEASLEY
George!

GEORGE WEASLEY
Only joking, Mum.


Quote:

Originally Posted by Phrozenone (Post 4874519)
Nah it's just when you said that I wanted to share an idea I had lol

But no overpay for the elves darn it! Fine..I'll have the frogs from POA sing it then :p

Those frogs will be out of work, so the first step would be to script them....

Quote:

Originally Posted by Phrozenone (Post 4874519)
:upset: You didn't have to yell :upset::upset:

:p:p kidding

Is 'ok' better???

Phrozenone December 21st, 2007 7:31 am

Re: Fan Scripts: Script your own version of Harry Potter
 
Ok.....first things first. Did you REALLY need to have Harry go back to the Dursley's to ask for a ride? You are really packing it on thick if you want this is to be 130 buddy.

That's alot of talking involved on the Weasley's part aswell. I chuckled at the whole 'toilet' thing though. I'd forgetten about that line (I haven't read the 1st book in a WHILE!!) You really are trying your best to stick to cannon though I'll give you that.

ArryGrotter December 21st, 2007 7:43 am

Re: Fan Scripts: Script your own version of Harry Potter
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by Phrozenone (Post 4874534)
Ok.....first things first. Did you REALLY need to have Harry go back to the Dursley's to ask for a ride? You are really packing it on thick if you want this is to be 130 buddy.

That's alot of talking involved on the Weasley's part aswell. I chuckled at the whole 'toilet' thing though. I'd forgetten about that line (I haven't read the 1st book in a WHILE!!) You really are trying your best to stick to cannon though I'll give you that.

About the Dursleys, I just don't won't a rehash of PS/mov when Hagrid takes Harry to Kings Cross the same day (or the day after) he takes him to Diagon Alley.:no: Now I think about it, I could move things round so that he doesn't go back to Privet Drive, though I'd have to get rid of the scene when Harry names Hedwig, oh, well, I'll just make Harry call Hedwig Hedwig sometime.

About the Weasleys: I KNOW!!!! I couldn't believe how much they talked! What I do usually is reformat the book, remove unneccecary lines, then move things round for my liking. And still, after that their dialogue was 2 or 3 pages!!!

About the 130, I want to finish it first, no matter how long it is (I'm thinking it will come out between 150 and 200), and then I want to make it 130.

Edit: About the Dursleys: Here's the edited scene, and it flows better than the previous one.

Quote:

RUBEUS HAGRID (CONT’D)
Yer ticket fer Hogwarts. First o' September - King's Cross - Platform Nine and Three Quarters - it's all on yer ticket.

Harry goes toward the train.

HARRY POTTER
Did you say Platform Nine and Three Quarters?

He turns back, but Hagrid has gone.

INT. KING’S CROSS STATION - LATE MORNING
(1/9/1991)

On one platform is a big plastic ‘9’ and on the platform next to it is a big plastic ‘10’. Vernon smiles evilly.

VERNON DURSLEY
Well, there you are, boy. Platform nine - platform ten. Your platform should be somewhere in the middle, but they don't seem to have built it yet.

IenjoyAcidPops December 21st, 2007 7:55 am

Re: Fan Scripts: Script your own version of Harry Potter
 
Okay, I've never done anything like this before but I am curently working on my own HBP script so I figured I'd give a shot at posting my first scene and see what reaction I get. I wanna say right now, too, Phrozenone, I had the same thought about S.P.E.W. When I come to reintroducing Dobby ('cause I so wanna see Dobby again) I intend to have a little moment of outrage from Hermione about house elves working at Hogwarts, and carry that through as a little running joke rather than a subplot. But, for now, here's my take on "Spinner's End". For the love of God, be gentle! :lol:



The Warner Bros. logo moves forward out of an oddly insistent greenish mist that renders everything but an odd chimney or two invisible to our eyes. Pan down from an immense chimney to a decrepit, rundown old house sitting amidst several other similar ramshackle homes, next to a filthy, rubbish-strewn river. We enter the sitting room of this house through the window to meet SEVERUS SNAPE, who shuts the curtains with a sharp tug and turns to face the visitor standing in front of a dirtied, threadbare sofa. This woman, with pale, pointed features, her long blonde hair a very troubled, anxious-looking woman with long blonde hair falling over a tear-stained face, wears a very anxious and deeply troubled expression.

SNAPE
Well, this is a pleasant surprise. What brings you two to the family home?

The sitting room of "the family home" continues the air of longtime neglect, being comprised of full, musty bookshelves, a lone wooden armchair, an empty fireplace at the room's rear, and a dim ceiling-hung lamp.

WOMAN
Severus, I need your help.

We can just see a woman standing at the front door with her hood still up, her face obscured.

WOMAN #2
Cissy, you should not speaking of the plan to anyone, let alone present company!

The voice belongs to BELLATRIX LESTRANGE, who lowers her hood and steps away from the door toward her sister.

CISSY
Bella, please!

SNAPE
Now now, Narcissa, we should allow Bellatrix a chance to convey her...mistrust in me. "Present company"? You doubt I can aid your sister?

BELLATRIX
I doubt my sister's judgment in placing her trust in a man who's spent the last 17 years in Dumbledore's pocket! Tell me, Snape, where do your loyalties lie?

SNAPE
You mean this (lifting up his sleeve to show The Dark Mark branded into his arm) is not sufficient answer?

BELLATRIX
Not as to why you've made your home at Hogwarts, not as to why you did not immediately return to The Dark Lord's side after he was reborn!

SNAPE
I have remained at Hogwarts because The Dark Lord wished me to do so - or do you forget the assignment I was given all those years ago? And I returned precisely two hours after The Dark Lord did, on Dumbledore's orders.

BELLATRIX
Dumbledore's orders?

SNAPE
Yes. Or do you also forget the old man thought me his spy? He believes I've reclaimed the post I held during the first war, but the truth is quite the reverse. Either way, when The Dark Lord returned I had 16 years of valuable information on Hogwarts and Dumbledore himself to give him. Rather more valuable, I think, than endless stories of how very miserable Azkaban is - 'though I'm sure he appreciated them just the same.

BELLATRIX
Alright then, answer me this: you have had Harry Potter under your watch for 5 years and yet you have never made the slightest attempt -

SNAPE
Potter is Dumbledore's prize pupil. It might just be a bit onspicuous if I were to murder the boy over breakfast in The Great Hall; besides, The Dark Lord has made it clear that he wants Potter for himself. (beat) The Dark Lord trusts my judgment; you doubt his?

Bellatrix wears a scathing look but says no more.

SNAPE
Now Narcissa, you seek my help?

NARCISSA
It's my son. The Dark Lord has..has given him a mission.

SNAPE
Yes, I know of the plan.

NARCISSA
(a pleading look on her face) Then you know you must help! Severus, please; you are his favorite teacher, he trusts you, you must protect him!

BELLATRIX
The boy needs no protection! You should be proud!

NARCISSA
Proud?! It is only punishment for what happened at the Ministry, I know it! Severus, I must know...will you assist him, watch over him..complete his task if he cannot?

Snape seems to be contemplating this for a moment but says quite firmly:

SNAPE
I will.

So that's it. I cut The Unbreakable Vow because, as others on other threads have said, it's rather irrelevant after 'DH' and besides, Snape will bring it up later anyway. What's here is a bit rough to be sure, but this is basically what I'd like to see next November. So what do you think?

Phrozenone December 21st, 2007 7:56 am

Re: Fan Scripts: Script your own version of Harry Potter
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by ArryGrotter (Post 4874540)
About the Dursleys, I just don't won't a rehash of PS/mov when Hagrid takes Harry to Kings Cross the same day (or the day after) he takes him to Diagon Alley.:no: Now I think about it, I could move things round so that he doesn't go back to Privet Drive, though I'd have to get rid of the scene when Harry names Hedwig, oh, well, I'll just make Harry call Hedwig Hedwig sometime.

About the Weasleys: I KNOW!!!! I couldn't believe how much they talked! What I do usually is reformat the book, remove unneccecary lines, then move things round for my liking. And still, after that their dialogue was 2 or 3 pages!!!

About the 130, I want to finish it first, no matter how long it is (I'm thinking it will come out between 150 and 200), and then I want to make it 130.

Yeah that's what I did and that's a good idea. Write all you can and go back. It's tough though because you'll find there are alot of parts you like but they just don't flow well. That's when the whole 'combining' scenes thing can happen. It'll be easier once you have it all down and you're able to just read it from front to back.

And honestly they never said Hedwig's name in the movie so just having Harry call the name sometime in the film works just as well. :tu::tu:

So since it's technically a new day here now I might aswell add another scene to the bunch:


INT-THE BURROW-KITCHEN-MORNING

To a snowy shot of the Burrow, then the scene changes to Harry and Ron chopping things in the kitchen sink.

RON
So Snape was definitely offering to help him?

HARRY
He said he’s promised Malfoy’s mother to protect him, that he’d made an Unbreakable Oath or something…

RON
An Unbreakable Vow? Are you sure?

HARRY
Yes, what does it mean?

RON
Well you can’t break an Unbreakable Vow…

HARRY
I’d worked that much out for myself, funnily enough.

RON
If you break it you die. Fred and George tried to get me to make one when I was five actually…

Fred and George enter the kitchen as he says this.

GEORGE
Well well well Ron

FRED
What is this we hear from Ginny about you and a young lady called…unless our information is faulty…Lavender Brown?

RON
Mind your own business!

FRED AND GEORGE
Ooohhhhhhhhhhh

FRED
Seems we’ve struck a nerve.

GEORGE
What we want to know however little brother is how did it happen?

FRED
Did she have an accident or something?

RON
What?

GEORGE
Well, how did she sustain such extensive brain damage.
(Ron throws the knife at George and he turns it into an paper airplane immediately. Mrs. Weasley walks in on this exact moment.)
Careful, now!

MRS. WEASLEY
RONALD WEASLEY!!! Don’t you EVER let me see you throwing knives again!

GEORGE
IT’s ok mum he’s just a little love struck

RON
Shut up!

INT. -DEN-MORNING (LATER THAT DAY)

The scene cuts to Lupin, Mr. Weasley, and Harry sitting around the fireplace as Christmas music plays in the background.

HARRY
And that’s what happened.

MR. WEASLEY
Has it occurred to you, Harry that Snape was simply pretending...?

HARRY
Pretending to offer help so he can find out what Malfoy’s up to? Yeah, I thought you’d say that, but how do we know?

MR. WEASLEY
It isn’t out business to know. Dumbledore trusts Severus, and that ought to be good enough for all of us.

HARRY
But just say Dumbledore’s wrong about Snape…

LUPIN
People have said it many times Harry. It comes down to whether or not you trust Dumbledore’s judgement.

HARRY
But Dumbledore can make mistakes. He says it himself, and sir do you honestly trust Snape?

LUPIN
I neither like nor dislike Severus. We shall never be friends, but I do not forget that during the year at Hogwarts, Severus made the Wolfsbane Potion for me every month, so that I did not have to suffer as I usually do at the full moon. He kept me healthy, I must be grateful.

HARRY
Maybe he didn’t dare mess with the potion with Dumbledore watching him!

LUPIN
You are determined to hate him aren’t you Harry?

There is a crash heard from in the kitchen and we hear Mrs. Weasley yelling at the twins.

MR. WEASLEY
I think I’m needed in this situation…
(He jumps up and runs out of the room)

HARRY
(laughs and turns to Lupin)
So what have you been up to lately?

LUPIN
Oh, I’ve been underground. I’ve been living among the werewolves; nearly all of them are on Voldemort’s side. Dumbledore wanted a spy and here I was…ready made.

HARRY
How come they like Voldemort?

LUPIN
They think that, under his rule, they will have a better life. And it is hard to argue with Greyback out there…

HARRY
Greyback?

LUPIN
Fenrir Greyback is the most savage werewolf alive today. He regards it his mission in life to bite and contaminate as many people as possible, sometimes even without the full moon. Voldemort has promised him prey in return for his services. Greyback specializes in children; it was Greyback who bit me.

HARRY
What? When you were a kid?

LUPIN
Yes. My father had offended him.

INT-RONS BEDROOM-CHRISTMAS MORNING

The scene cuts to another snowy shot of the Burrow and we hear hear Rons voice and then the scene pops in with him holding up a thick gold chain.

RON
She’s got to be joking!

HARRY
What’s that?

RON
Its from Lavender, she can’t honestly think I’d wear…

He turns the chain around and it reads My Sweetheart.


HARRY
Nice, you should definitely wear it in front of Fred and George.

RON
If you tell them..I…I…I’ll…

HARRY
Stutter at me? (He laughs and picks up his package and we see that it says To Master, From Kreacher.) Do you reckon this is safe to open?

RON
Can’t be anything dangerous can it?

(Harry opens it and gives out a yell as maggots pour out of the package. Ron bursts out to

laughing and

INT. KITCHEN-CHRISTMAS AFTERNOON

The scene cuts to Fred, George, Mr and Mrs. Weasly, Lupin, Ginny, and Bill sitting around the dinner table. There’s a lot of rustle and talking around the table.

HARRY
This is excellent Mrs. Weasley

MRS. WEASLEY
Thanks Harry dear. Bill could you please stop eating like an animal!

BILL
What!

GINNY
You have a maggot in your hair Harry
(She reaches over and plucks it out of his hair.)

HARRY
(Chuckles nervously)
Thanks

Ginny smiles and goes back to her plate

FRED
So Ron….

GEORGE
About this Lavender Brown…

RON
Shut up!

GINNY
Oohhh..looks like Ron can’t take what he dishes!

RON
YOU SHUT YOUR FACE!

FRED
Oh so angry…

GEORGE
That’s what love does to you…

As everyone laughs Ginny looks over and notices to figures walking toward the house. She gets up and looks out of the window.

GINNY
Hey, it’s…its Percy!

Everyone gets silent and turns around in a shock and we see a shot of Percy and Rufus Scrimgeour walking towards the house.

HARRY
Who’s that he’s with?

RON
Rufus Scrimgeour, the new Minister of Magic.

The door opens and Percy walks in with a dry look on his face. It seems as if he doesn’t want to be there.

PERCY
(In a mono tone voice)
Merry Christmas, Mother.

MRS. WEASLEY
Oh, Percy!!

(She jumps up and hugs him. He still has the same look on his face and all the Weasley kids look at each other with disgust.)

SCRIMGEOUR
You must forgive this intrusion.

MR. WEASLEY
Please, come in and sit down, Minister! Have little purkey, or some….

SCRIMGEOUR
I don’t want to intrude Arthur. Wouldn’t be here at all if Percy hadn’t wanted to see you all so badly…

MRS. WEASLEY
Oh, PERCY!!! (She starts hugging and kissing him more. Ron, The Twins, and Ginny look at each other and roll their eyes.)

SCRIMGEOUR
We only have a few minutes, so I’ll have a stroll around the yard while you catch up with Percy. Well, if anybody cares to show me your charming garden…

(The camera cuts to Harry and back to Scrimgeour.)

Ah, that young man is finished, why doesn’t he take a stroll with me?

EXT-GARDEN-CHRISTMAS AFTERNOON (MOMENT LATER)

SCRIMGEOUR
I’ve wanted to meet you for a very long time, did you know that?

HARRY
No.

SCRIMGEOUR
Oh yes, I have been hoping for an occasion to talk to you ever since I gained office, but Dumbledore has prevented this.

(He looks at Harry but Harry says nothing.)

The rumors have been flying around of you being ‘the Chosen One.’ I assume Dumbledore has discussed these matters with you?

HARRY
Yeah we’ve discussed it.

SCRIMGEOUR
And what has Dumbledore told you Harry?

HARRY
Sorry but that’s between us.

SCRIMGEOUR
Oh, of course, if it’s a question of confidences, I wouldn’t want to divulge and in any case, does it really matter if you are the Chosen One or not?

HARRY
I don’t get what you’re saying.

SCRIMGEOUR
You are a symbol of hope for many, Harry. The idea that there is somebody out there who might be destined to destroy him, it gives people a lift. Once you realize this, you might consider it, almost a duty, to stand slongside the Ministry, and give everyone a boost.

HARRY
Stand alongside the Ministry?

SCRIMGEOUR
If you were to be seen popping in and out of the Ministry from time to time, that would give the right impression you see.

HARRY
So basically you’d like to give the impression that I’m working for the Ministry?

SCRIMGEOUR
Yes Harry that’s about right, whatever’s possible to give people hope…

HARRY
Won’t that seem as though I approve of what the Ministry is up to?

SCRIMGEOUR
Well…yes that…

HARRY
No thank you sir. You see I don’t like some of the things the Ministry is doing. Locking up Stan Shunpike, for instance.

SCRIMGEOUR
These are dangerous times Harry and certain measures have to be taken.

HARRY
I don’t want to be used!

SCRIMGEOUR
So I guess you are not the chosen one.

HARRY
I thought you said it didn’t matter either way?

SCRIMGEOUR
I shouldn’t have said that, it was tactless…

HARRY
No, it was one of the only honest things you’ve said to me. You don’t care whether I live or die, but you do care that I help you convince everyone you’re winning the war against Voldemort. The Ministry wasn’t so keen to be pals last year.

SCRIMGEOUR
(A long beat)
So what is old Dumbledore up to? Where does he go when he is absent from Hogwarts.

HARRY
No idea

SCRIMGEOUR
You wouldn’t tell me if you knew would you?

HARRY
No, I wouldn’t

SCRIMGEOUR
Well, it is clear to me that he has done a very good job on you. Dumbledores man through and through, aren’t you, Potter?

HARRY
You got it.

ArryGrotter December 21st, 2007 8:35 am

Re: Fan Scripts: Script your own version of Harry Potter
 
Choices? One Vow or the other????

IenjoyAcidPops, :welcome: to the thread!

That short scene covers alot of areas, and that's hard to do and I commend you.

Phrozenone, You're doing well. (Probably better than I am)
PS It's 8:45pm here, so I'm not sure about you posting a new one right now (since I'm about to log off) I'll pick at it tommorow

Phrozenone December 21st, 2007 8:40 am

Re: Fan Scripts: Script your own version of Harry Potter
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by IenjoyAcidPops (Post 4874547)
Okay, I've never done anything like this before but I am curently working on my own HBP script so I figured I'd give a shot at posting my first scene and see what reaction I get. I wanna say right now, too, Phrozenone, I had the same thought about S.P.E.W. When I come to reintroducing Dobby ('cause I so wanna see Dobby again) I intend to have a little moment of outrage from Hermione about house elves working at Hogwarts, and carry that through as a little running joke rather than a subplot. But, for now, here's my take on "Spinner's End". For the love of God, be gentle! :lol:



The dim outlines of a few rooftops and chimneys are the only things visible through the oddly insistent mist. The Warner Bros. logo slowly moves out of this mist toward the camera, which then travels through it to show a street sign bearing the name Spinner's End. Dissolve to the profile of Severus Snape, levitating two wine glasses before him.

SNAPE
I must say, this is a pleasant surprise. What brings you to the family home?

The sitting room of "the family home" has an air of longtime neglect, lit only by a dim lamp hung from the ceiling, and comprised solely of full, musty bookshelves, a threadbare leather sofa, and an ancient, rickety armchair. A wine glass floats into the hand of a very anxious, troubled-looking woman with blonde hair and severe, pointed features. Behind her we can see another woman standing just in front of the door, her hood obscuring her face.

WOMAN #1
Severus, I need your help.

WOMAN #2
Cissy, how many times must I tell you we cannot trust him before it sinks in?

The voice belongs to Bellatrix Lestrange, her hood now lowered and the other wine glass floating in midair before her, untouched.

CISSY
Bella, please!

SNAPE
Now now, Narcissa, we should allow Bellatrix a chance to convey her...mistrust in me. You doubt I can aid your sister?

BELLATRIX
I doubt my sister's judgment in placing her trust in a man who's spent the last 17 years under Dumbledore's thumb! Tell me, Snape, where do your loyalties lie?

SNAPE
You mean this (lifting up his sleeve to show The Dark Mark branded into his arm) is not sufficient answer?

BELLATRIX
Not as to why you've made your home at Hogwarts, not as to why you did not immediately rejoin The Dark Lord after his return -

SNAPE
I have remained at Hogwarts because The Dark Lord wished me to do so - or do you forget the assignment I was given all those years ago? And I returned precisely two hours after The Dark Lord did, on Dumbledore's orders.

BELLATRIX
Dumbledore's orders?

SNAPE
Yes. Or did you forget the old man thought me his spy? He believes I've reclaimed the post I held during the first war, but the truth is quite the reverse. Either way, when The Dark Lord returned I had 16 years of valuable information on Hogwarts and Dumbledore himself to give him. Rather more valuable, I think, than endless stories of how very miserable Azkaban is - 'though I'm sure he appreciated them just the same.

BELLATRIX
Alright then, answer me this: you have had Harry Potter under your watch for 5 years and yet you have never made the slightest attempt -

SNAPE
Potter is Dumbledore's prize pupil. It might just be abit xonspicuous if I were to murder the boy over breakfast in The Great Hall; besides, The Dark Lord has made it clear that he wants Potter for himself. (beat) The Dark Lord trusts my judgment; you doubt his?

Bellatrix wears a scathing look but says no more.

SNAPE
Now Narcissa, you seek my help?

NARCISSA
It's my son. The Dark Lord has given him a mission.

BELLATRIX
You should not be speaking of the plan to anyone, much less him!

SNAPE
I already know of the boy's assignment.

NARCISSA
(a pleading look on her face) Than you know you must help! Severus, please, you are his favorite student, he trusts you, you must protect him!

BELLATRIX
The boy needs no protection! You should be proud!

NARCISSA
Proud?! I-it is only punishment for Lucius' failure to retrieve the prophecy, I know it! Severus, I must know...will you assist him, watch over him, complete his task if he cannot?

Snape contemplates this but decides with a firm tone:

SNAPE
I will.

So that's it. I cut The Unbreakable Vow because, as others on other threads have said, it's rather irrelevant after 'DH' and besides, Snape will bring it up later anyway. What's here is a bit rough to be sure, but this is basically what I'd like to see next November. So what do you think?

:clap::clap::clap::clap:

You know I didn't even notice you posted...we probably were writing at the same time. That was good though, having Snape show the Dark Mark made me smile.

However instead of Lucius just say his father...I dunno I thought it'll be a good idea for the audience not to know who her son was until Diagon Alley and then there's a big 'OOHHHHHHH' from the audience. Welcome to the thread though!!! Post more...NOW!!!! :p

IenjoyAcidPops December 21st, 2007 8:43 pm

Re: Fan Scripts: Script your own version of Harry Potter
 
Thanks for the comments, guys, much appreciated. I've just gone back and corrected a few little things (like I slipped and had Narcissa saying Snape was Draco's favorite student :lol:). I'm making some touch-ups on the next scene, as I've really just started this one. As I really have no life, I'm working on DH as well, so I've spent more time on that one.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Phrozenone (Post 4874572)
However instead of Lucius just say his father...I dunno I thought it'll be a good idea for the audience not to know who her son was until Diagon Alley and then there's a big 'OOHHHHHHH' from the audience.

I know exactly what you mean. In fact, what's there now is really just a placeholder. Saying "his father" just seems a bit unnatural to me; I mean, why wouldn't Narcissa just use Lucius' name when talking to Snape? However, I do agree with the notion of giving the audience another small surprise and realizing that she was talking about Malfoy and beginning the suspicion toward him right when Harry does. How about just "It is only punishment for what happened at the Ministry?" I mean, it's a line that would never make sense to those who hadn't seen OotP, but then again, I'm really writing this movie as a sequel, and I think if you're walking into the sixth movie, chances are you've seen the fifth.

And here's a question: can you imagine the dialogue I do have now coming from Alan Rickman, Helena Bonham Carter, and Helen McCrory? Because I do really want to write an HP movie I'd be happy with, and part of that is writing to the actors' rythms and speech patterns as we've seen them, even if this isn't the real script, obviously. Do you know what I mean, or am I just overcomplicating this to point of insanity? :lol:

Phrozenone December 21st, 2007 10:08 pm

Re: Fan Scripts: Script your own version of Harry Potter
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by IenjoyAcidPops (Post 4875115)
Thanks for the comments, guys, much appreciated. I've just gone back and corrected a few little things (like I slipped and had Narcissa saying Snape was Draco's favorite student :lol:). I'm making some touch-ups on the next scene, as I've really just started this one. As I really have no life, I'm working on DH as well, so I've spent more time on that one.



I know exactly what you mean. In fact, what's there now is really just a placeholder. Saying "his father" just seems a bit unnatural to me; I mean, why wouldn't Narcissa just use Lucius' name when talking to Snape? However, I do agree with the notion of giving the audience another small surprise and realizing that she was talking about Malfoy and beginning the suspicion toward him right when Harry does. How about just "It is only punishment for what happened at the Ministry?" I mean, it's a line that would never make sense to those who hadn't seen OotP, but then again, I'm really writing this movie as a sequel, and I think if you're walking into the sixth movie, chances are you've seen the fifth.

And here's a question: can you imagine the dialogue I do have now coming from Alan Rickman, Helena Bonham Carter, and Helen McCrory? Because I do really want to write an HP movie I'd be happy with, and part of that is writing to the actors' rythms and speech patterns as we've seen them, even if this isn't the real script, obviously. Do you know what I mean, or am I just overcomplicating this to point of insanity? :lol:

:lol::lol:

Calm down. Take a deep breathe...there you go...theereeee you goooo.

I understand everything you're saying lol. The thing about it is I wrote my HBP script long before the film came out so I will of course rewrite to make it fit in what happened in the 5th movie. Also I'm always doing the characters voices and making the faces I'd think they'd make when I'm writing it :lol: I know I'm weird but I really understand your 'writing to the actors rythms'

ArryGrotter December 21st, 2007 11:07 pm

Re: Fan Scripts: Script your own version of Harry Potter
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by Phrozenone (Post 4874549)
Yeah that's what I did and that's a good idea. Write all you can and go back. It's tough though because you'll find there are alot of parts you like but they just don't flow well. That's when the whole 'combining' scenes thing can happen. It'll be easier once you have it all down and you're able to just read it from front to back.

I don't know If you noticed, but I've tried the combining scene thing in Hagrid's/Harry's talk before Diagon Alley. I previously (You may find it somewhere on here) had three or four scenes and then whittled in down to just the one (or two if you include when they wake up) in the boat.

I'm going to be so attached to this script. It'll be hard to cut when it's finished.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Phrozenone (Post 4874549)
And honestly they never said Hedwig's name in the movie so just having Harry call the name sometime in the film works just as well. :tu::tu:

The only time it was said was in a DELETED SCENE (The Neville/Choclate Frog/Dumbledore/Flamel one). And there was a piece of music called Hedwig's theme! Who is Hedwig?????

OK, back to being a critic....

Quote:

Originally Posted by Phrozenone (Post 4874549)
GEORGE
IT’s ok mum he’s just a little love struck

RON
Shut up!

INT. -DEN-MORNING (LATER THAT DAY)

The scene cuts to Lupin, Mr. Weasley, and Harry sitting around the fireplace as Christmas music plays in the background.

I find this a bad transition...

Quote:

Originally Posted by Phrozenone (Post 4874549)
HARRY
And that’s what happened.

...and I hate it when scenes start with 'And' it makes you feel like you're missing something.
E.g. OotP:MOLLY WEASLEY
Presents!

CUTS TO LATER:

MOLLY WEASLEY
And a big box for Ron.


Quote:

Originally Posted by Phrozenone (Post 4874549)
LUPIN
I neither like nor dislike Severus. We shall never be friends, but I do not forget that during the year at Hogwarts, Severus made the Wolfsbane Potion for me every month, so that I did not have to suffer as I usually do at the full moon. He kept me healthy, I must be grateful.

Since your script is following the movies, I wouldn't put something in that wasn't in one of them...

Quote:

Originally Posted by Phrozenone (Post 4874549)
There is a crash heard from in the kitchen and we hear Mrs. Weasley yelling at the twins.

MR. WEASLEY
I think I’m needed in this situation…
(He jumps up and runs out of the room)

:huh: Random...

Quote:

Originally Posted by Phrozenone (Post 4874549)
LUPIN
Yes. My father had offended him.

INT-RONS BEDROOM-CHRISTMAS MORNING

The scene cuts to another snowy shot of the Burrow and we hear hear Rons voice and then the scene pops in with him holding up a thick gold chain.

Attack of the bad transitions! (I am quite negative, aren't I?)

Quote:

Originally Posted by Phrozenone (Post 4874549)
RON
If you tell them..I…I…I’ll…

HARRY
Stutter at me?

:lol:

Quote:

Originally Posted by Phrozenone (Post 4874549)
MRS. WEASLEY
Thanks Harry dear. Bill could you please stop eating like an animal!

BILL
What!

Another random moment...

Quote:

Originally Posted by Phrozenone (Post 4874549)
GINNY
You have a maggot in your hair Harry
(She reaches over and plucks it out of his hair.)

HARRY
(Chuckles nervously)
Thanks

:love: Ohhhhhhhhh!!!! :p

Quote:

Originally Posted by Phrozenone (Post 4874549)
SCRIMGEOUR
Well, it is clear to me that he has done a very good job on you. Dumbledores man through and through, aren’t you, Potter?

HARRY
You got it.

:clap::clap::clap:

Quote:

Originally Posted by IenjoyAcidPops (Post 4874547)
For the love of God, be gentle! :lol:

I'll keep that in mind

Quote:

Originally Posted by IenjoyAcidPops (Post 4874547)
The dim outlines of a few rooftops and chimneys are the only things visible through the oddly insistent mist. The Warner Bros. logo slowly moves out of this mist toward the camera, which then travels through it to show a street sign bearing the name Spinner's End. Dissolve to the profile of Severus Snape, levitating two wine glasses before him.

Have you thought about the colour of the mist? Green, IMO, would be best, given the US's cover (and also parts of the UK!)

This may come across a little harsh, so... Edit: It isn't that gentle after all...
Spoiler: show
Why dissolve from the sign to Snape? I, personally, think that would look horrible. You may love it, so that is personal choice. Just I want to ask whether you picture this happening, because even cutting from a sign to a face this early kind of looks wrong, IMO. And that wasn't very gentle, sorry.........


Quote:

Originally Posted by IenjoyAcidPops (Post 4874547)
SNAPE
I must say, this is a pleasant surprise. What brings you to the family home?

I can't remember if that was in the book or not, but that is a good way of introducing the place and also helps with the setup of The Prince's Tale.

Quote:

Originally Posted by IenjoyAcidPops (Post 4874547)
WOMAN #2
Cissy, how many times must I tell you we cannot trust him before it sinks in?

Even though HBP is possible the book I have read the most, I don't have a clue what Bellatrix is on about...

Quote:

Originally Posted by IenjoyAcidPops (Post 4874547)
SNAPE
You mean this (lifting up his sleeve to show The Dark Mark branded into his arm) is not sufficient answer?

And finally movie-goers will begin to question Snape. (*:grumble:Gets annoyed at Newell:grumble:*)

Quote:

Originally Posted by IenjoyAcidPops (Post 4874547)
NARCISSA
Proud?! It is only punishment for Lucius' failure to retrieve the prophecy, I know it! Severus, I must know...will you assist him, watch over him, complete his task if he cannot?

I agree with Phrozenone. Saying Lucius ruins the effect. Since no link has yet to be discovered between Bellatrix and Draco and we have not meet Narcissa, I think it'd be better to leave Draco anonymous

Edit: I forgot about the Vow cut. I have this to say: It is effective yet I'd prefer the scene to end at Narcissa's proposal, so the audience questions until the middle of the movie (When Harry finds out).

IenjoyAcidPops December 22nd, 2007 12:23 am

Re: Fan Scripts: Script your own version of Harry Potter
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by ArryGrotter (Post 4875321)
I'll keep that in mind

Don't worry too much I was just kidding. Constructive criticism is appreciated, of course.


Quote:

Originally Posted by ArryGrotter (Post 4875321)
Have you thought about the colour of the mist? Green, IMO, would be best, given the US's cover (and also parts of the UK!)

Honestly, I'm not quite certain. I don't want a drab shade of gray, of course, and I like green, but I really don't want the same shade of green as the potion or the Killing Curse. We don't want this movie to have too repetitive a color palette, after all. So I'm still pondering that one.


Quote:

Originally Posted by ArryGrotter (Post 4875321)
Why dissolve from the sign to Snape? I, personally, think that would look horrible. You may love it, so that is personal choice. Just I want to ask whether you picture this happening, because even cutting from a sign to a face this early kind of looks wrong, IMO. And that wasn't very gentle, sorry.........

This is one of the things I meant when I said it was rough. It's really just a matter of expediency. I don't feel we need to see Narcissa and Bellatrix walking toward the house, killing the fox, etc. I'd rather start on Snape. I'm not strongly attached to it, but I would like to know why you feel it's horrible. Just out of curiosity, that's all. :).


Quote:

Originally Posted by ArryGrotter (Post 4875321)
Even though HBP is possible the book I have read the most, I don't have a clue what Bellatrix is on about...

Well, no, the exact line is not from the book, but this passage gets the same idea across:

"Then you ought to hold your tongue!" snarled Bellatrix. "Particularly in present company!"

"Present company?" repeated Snape sardonically. "And what am I to understand by that, Bellatrix?"

"That I don't trust you, Snape, as you very well know!"


So, I just thought that line was a good way for Bellatrix to enter the scene and quickly tell us that she doesn't trust Snape. Of course, I could just use the lines I just quoted. Hmmmm...




Quote:

Originally Posted by ArryGrotter (Post 4875321)
I agree with Phrozenone. Saying Lucius ruins the effect. Since no link has yet to be discovered between Bellatrix and Draco and we have not meet Narcissa, I think it'd be better to leave Draco anonymous

Well, I did address this in my last post. I'm not sure whether you've read that or not.


Quote:

Originally Posted by Phrozenone (Post 4875228)
Calm down. Take a deep breathe...there you go...theereeee you goooo.

:lol: Okay, breath taken.

ArryGrotter December 22nd, 2007 1:28 am

Re: Fan Scripts: Script your own version of Harry Potter
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by IenjoyAcidPops (Post 4875396)
Don't worry too much I was just kidding. Constructive criticism is appreciated, of course.

Ok, I wasn't entirely sure.

Quote:

Originally Posted by IenjoyAcidPops (Post 4875396)
This is one of the things I meant when I said it was rough. It's really just a matter of expediency. I don't feel we need to see Narcissa and Bellatrix walking toward the house, killing the fox, etc. I'd rather start on Snape. I'm not strongly attached to it, but I would like to know why you feel it's horrible. Just out of curiosity, that's all. :).

I simply just found it odd that we are are flying down to this town and suddenly stop at this street sign and it just turns into Snape's face. I think is would have been better if we passed the sign and flew into Snape's house (Then when'd be 100% sure of the location too). I personally don't think the before fight is needed either.

Quote:

Originally Posted by IenjoyAcidPops (Post 4875396)
Well, no, the exact line is not from the book, but this passage gets the same idea across:

"Then you ought to hold your tongue!" snarled Bellatrix. "Particularly in present company!"

"Present company?" repeated Snape sardonically. "And what am I to understand by that, Bellatrix?"

"That I don't trust you, Snape, as you very well know!"

So, I just thought that line was a good way for Bellatrix to enter the scene and quickly tell us that she doesn't trust Snape. Of course, I could just use the lines I just quoted. Hmmmm...

I think the 'before it sinks in' bit was odd. It'd probably be better to use one of these lines.

Quote:

Originally Posted by IenjoyAcidPops (Post 4875396)
Well, I did address this in my last post. I'm not sure whether you've read that or not.

I'm sorry, I must've miss read it and thought you siad that Snape said to Narcissa 'Lucius'. Though, if you can find a way to find Lucius not adressed, that would be good.

IenjoyAcidPops December 22nd, 2007 2:01 am

Re: Fan Scripts: Script your own version of Harry Potter
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by ArryGrotter (Post 4875468)
I simply just found it odd that we are are flying down to this town and suddenly stop at this street sign and it just turns into Snape's face. I think is would have been better if we passed the sign and flew into Snape's house (Then when'd be 100% sure of the location too).

Well, I'm not sure what to do here myself but I'm certainly going to change that first shot after the street sign. Again, what's there now is just a placeholder.


Quote:

Originally Posted by ArryGrotter (Post 4875468)
I personally don't think the before fight is needed either.

You mean the thing with the fox, right?

Okay, I've gone back and made some very minor edits to that scene. Just a few line changes; just skim and you'll notice what they are. I didn't dislike what I had in those spots, but I think what's here now might just flow a little better.

ArryGrotter December 22nd, 2007 2:06 am

Re: Fan Scripts: Script your own version of Harry Potter
 
Yeah I meant the fox.

Going to look...

Quote:

Originally Posted by IenjoyAcidPops (Post 4874547)
WOMAN #2
Cissy, you should not speaking of the plan to anyone, let alone present company!

The voice belongs to Bellatrix Lestrange, her hood now lowered and the other wine glass floating in midair before her, untouched.

CISSY
Bella, please!

SNAPE
Now now, Narcissa, we should allow Bellatrix a chance to convey her...mistrust in me. "Present company"? You doubt I can aid your sister?

:tu::tu:

Quote:

Originally Posted by IenjoyAcidPops (Post 4874547)
NARCISSA
Proud?! It is only punishment for what happened at the Ministry, I know it! Severus, I must know...will you assist him, watch over him, complete his task if he cannot?

More thumbs: :tu::tu:

MrSleepyHead December 22nd, 2007 2:52 am

Re: Fan Scripts: Script your own version of Harry Potter
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by ArryGrotter
I simply just found it odd that we are are flying down to this town and suddenly stop at this street sign and it just turns into Snape's face. I think is would have been better if we passed the sign and flew into Snape's house (Then when'd be 100% sure of the location too). I personally don't think the before fight is needed either.

Yes, normally a fade into a face is done with a more comparable object: a sign into a face simply looks awkward. Instead, I would have the sign in the foreground, with Snape's house (though the audience does not know it) clearly visible (at least show a long line of houses, and a gentle stop at Snape's). Then, the camera zooms to his neglected home as two women silently appear in a swirl of a cloak. A soft tap is heard and the women shuffle inside. Then you can proceed with the scene.

Personally, I would wait to introduce the title until after the Vow is made (this is just me - I love prologues). This is how I picture the Spinner's End scene (dramatically cut, of course):

The film will open with the classic zoom through the sky, but the camera catches sight of a tattered cloak and the sucking of air (the perspective of a dementor). We fly down to a little hamlet, rushing past a sign that reads "Spinner's End" and next to a neglected home. The camera looks in through a dusty window and you see two silhouettes and hear a low hum of voices. Soon, the camera penetrates the glass and enters the room, and as one gentle, nervous voice speaks, the camera focuses on a black hood with locks of golden hair visible.
"Will you, Severus Snape, watch over my son as he attempts to fulfill the Dark Lord's wishes?"
"I will." (The camera flashes to a strip of rope-like flame twines itself around two locked hands - remains focused on hands)
"And will you, to the best of your ability, protect him from harm?"
"I will." (A second strip joins the first)
"And, should it prove necessary, will you carry out the deed that the Dark Lord has ordered to be performed?"
(Pause - hesitation - camera flicks to a man's face - Snape's face) OR (Camera shows the man's hand jerk, as if almost pulling away)
"I will." (Camera concentrates on Snape's face, coming closer and closer, until he looks down, and so does the camera. The camera is enveloped in flame and out erupts the title: Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince.)

This is one way to do it. If this scene is kept, this is all it should be. The Bellatrix-Snape mania is simply a waste of time. Furthermore, no introduction should be included on who the woman is, since the audience should have no clue she is talking about Draco - they will be enlightened at Slughorn's feast. Therefore, why even show Narcissa coming to Snape's door? Why not simply show the Unbreakable Vow (the sole important part of this scene - at least, for moviegoers)? It is a swift, mysterious scene before the title (not a lengthy one like in SS/PS), and it conveys more in 30 seconds to 1 minute than a 5 minute scene would.

ArryGrotter December 22nd, 2007 5:31 am

Re: Fan Scripts: Script your own version of Harry Potter
 
MrSleepyHead, I have nothing much to say, which preety much means :clap:

Anyway, I just wanted to say that I just did a rough write of the train scene. 10 PAGES! I couldn't beleive it. I can definately see some areas to change now, though so that will cut back. I have some work to do.

IenjoyAcidPops December 22nd, 2007 5:47 am

Re: Fan Scripts: Script your own version of Harry Potter
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by MrSleepyHead (Post 4875540)
Why not simply show the Unbreakable Vow (the sole important part of this scene - at least, for moviegoers)? It is a swift, mysterious scene before the title (not a lengthy one like in SS/PS), and it conveys more in 30 seconds to 1 minute than a 5 minute scene would.

Why not just show The Unbreakable Vow? Because for me the importance of the scene lies not in the Vow but in telling the reader/viewer that perhaps Snape really can't be trusted. This is even more the case in the films, which have never raised a question of his loyalty - at all. I simply don't feel showing the Vow gets this across enough. I don't think moviegoers (and I hate to just use generalities like that because everyone is different) would mind a five-minute scene like the one I posted.

Phrozenone December 22nd, 2007 6:24 am

Re: Fan Scripts: Script your own version of Harry Potter
 
Ok guys as a special holiday treat instead of the next chapter of HBP I will present to you guys..the never seen by public eyes...my screenplay for Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows. I started on this a while back and I've yet to finish it actually (Writers block..cutting some characters proved harder than I thought) So here it is and I know I know it's horrible. I was just playing around with ideas (And as a side note this was pre Dumbledore's big announcement so don't read into the opening scene to much :p)


I just wanted to see you guys opinion on it really so here it is and Happy Holidays!



EXT. DARK VILLAGE-NIGHT

The WB logo slowly floats towards the screen out of a sea of dark clouds. As we fly through the logo flashes of light are seen in the distance. The camera slowly moves forward as we see two wizards throwing spells at each other in the distance. We then see ALBUS DUMBLEDORE standing with is wand at the ready with rubble all around him with fire in his eyes. Across the screen we see Fifty (?) years earlier.

DUMBLEDORE
You don’t have to do this Grindewald, please old friend listen to reason!

A powerful spell is thrown at Dumbledore and he produces a shield that deflects it and there’s a loud BOOM as the spell hits a nearby building sending debris flying everywhere. GRINDEWALD stands on the opposite side of Dumbledore with a huge smile on his face.

GRINDEWALD
Why do you oppose me Albus? You know of the power that I hold, we were once on the same page…

DUMBLEDORE
Things change Grindewald and so do people.

GRINDEWALD
That’s unfortunate….

Grindewald throws a bright red spell at Dumbledore, which Dumbledore barely avoids while throwing a series of blue spells at Grindewald. Grindewald deflects the spells back at Dumbledore and one hits him sending him off his feet flying backwards. Dumbledore stumbles up on his feet and looks up with defeat in his eyes as Grindewald slowly walks towards him with a smile.

GRINDEWALD
Your effort was admirable Albus, but you knew that it was foolish to oppose me. I am all-powerful…

DUMBLEDORE
Perhaps…EXPELLIARMUS!

The spell knocks Grindewalds wand out of his hand and sends it flying in the air. The camera shows the wand flying into the air towards Dumbledore.

DUMBLEDORE
But you in all your ignorance forgot that the simplest of spell could do the trick…
(He smiles as he reaches up into the air and grabs Grindewalds wand)
And now I have your precious wand…old friend.

Gridewald drops to his knees in defeat as the camera zooms pass him into the night sky into those eerie clouds as ‘Present Day’ scrolls across the screen the camera approaches a high gate which opens as it passes through going towards the MALFOY MANOR.

INT. MALFOY MANOR-NIGHT

Inside the home the camera follows NAGINI the snake as she slithers beside a table. We hear voices talking as she continues to move towards the table.

VOLDEMORT
(Offscreen)
What news do you bring Severus?

SNAPE
(Offscreen)
The Order of the Phoenix intends to move Harry Potter from his current place of safety on Saturday at nightfall.

We see a hand reach out for Nagini as she slowly moves up the arm and we see our first look at LORD VOLDEMORT as she wraps herself around his neck. Sitting beside him is SEVERUS SNAPE

VOLDEMORT
Saturday…

There is a shuffle and Voldemort looks over at BELLATRIX LASTRANGE who is sitting beside NARCISSA, LUCIUS, and DRACO MALFOY.

BELLATRIX
My lord, do you think it safe to trust Severus.

VOLDEMORT
Ah yes my dear Bellatrix, he has earned my trust yet again. Lucius…

LUCIUS
Yes, my lord.

VOLDEMORT
Give me your wand.

Lucius glances sideways at as she Narcissa puts her arm around Draco and pulls him closer to her as Voldemort says this.

LUCIUS
My…my wand my lord?

VOLDEMORT
Yes Lucius….

Lucius slowly hands his wand over to Voldemort as he takes it and examines it.

VOLDEMORT
Yes…yes…this shall do well.

There is crying heard off screen and the camera pans back to show the whole entire table full of Death Eaters and a body slowly revolving over the table up side down.

VOLDEMORT
I think Nagini is hungry now…

The camera is now in the POV of the person hanging above the table. Voldemort points the wand directly at the screen.

VOLDEMORT
AVADA KADAVRA!

The spell flies at the screen and the screen flashes GREEN as the title ‘HARRY POTTER AND THE DEATHLY HALLOWS’ appears. The title hovers for a second and there’s a flash as we’re taken too…

INT. THE DURSLEYS-HARRY’S ROOM-NIGHT

HARRY POTTER is standing looking out of his window. He sighs and turns around and we see that the room is empty and all of his belongings are packed. HEDWIG hoots in her cage and Harry walks over to it.

HARRY
It’s too dangerous to let you out right now Hedwig. But we should be out of here soon and you’ll be able to fly as much as you want.

He smiles and strokes Hedwig on the beak and turns around and sits on his bed. He picks up the DAILY PROPHET that’s beside him and opens it up and we see a picture of Dumbledore smiling up at him and beside him it says ‘Albus Dumbledore Remembered’ Harry reads through it and his eye catches the name in AKNOWLODEMENTS: BATHILDA BAGSIDE. GODRICS HOLLOW.

HARRY
Look Hedwig. This person’s from Godrics Hollow…. the same place my parents were killed. Wonder how she knows Dumbledore….

Harry sighs and closes the newspaper.

INT. THE DURSLEYS-LIVING ROOM-MOMENTS LATER

The scene cuts to VERNON, PETUNIA, AND DUDLEY DURSLEY standing in the living room with all their bags packed. Harry is standing in front of them with all of his belongings behind him as we join in the middle of the conversation.

HARRY
This is for your own good and you know it. It’s not safe here and if you don’t leave right now Voldemort will probably kill you all to get to me.

VERNON
Now you listen here boy, if this is some crazy plot to get this house…

HARRY
I’ve already got a house, my godfather left me one, and do you seriously think I’d want this place. What for do I presume, the happy memories?

PETUNIA
Don’t you dare….

HARRY
There’s no time for this. If you want to stay then feel free! You know where to meet members of the Order and they will escort you to somewhere safe, but if you’d rather stay here….

DUDLEY
We want to go.

VERNON
Dudley?

HARRY
There you go! Now it’s best if you leave…now. They’re waiting for you.

VERNON
Well then…I guess this is good-bye then, boy.

PETUNIA
Are you ready Diddy?

DUDLEY
Before we go…
(He walks up to Harry)
I never got to say….well…thank you. You saved my life.
(He reaches out his hand and he and Harry shake hands.)

HARRY
Blimey Dudley, did the dementors blow a different personality into you?

DUDLEY
Dunno, See you Harry!

They all look at Harry one last time and precede to walk out of the house with their things. Petunia turns back one last time and closes the door behind her. He stares at the door for a second and walks over to where Hedwig cage is sitting in the living room and sits down on the couch.

HARRY
So I guess this is the last time we’re going to see this place Hedwig. So many memories…rarely any of them are pleasant.
(He looks at the Cupboard door under the stairs)
I used to sleep under there Hedwig, you never knew me then. It looks so small now….

There is a sound made in the kitchen that makes Harry jumps up. He pulls out his wand and walks slowly into the kitchen.

INT. DURSLEYS-KITCHEN-MOMENTS LATER

Harry walks into the kitchen and see’s HAGRID smiling down at him.

HAGRID
All righ’ Harry? Ready fer the off?

Following behind him is HERMION, RON, FRED, GEORGE, MAD EYE, MR. WEASLEY, TONKS, LUPIN, KINGSLEY, MUNDUNGES FLETCHER, BILL, AND FLUER all smiling at him except Mundunges who looks frightened.

HARRY
Wow, I wasn’t expecting this many of you.

MAD EYE
Change of plan…

HARRY
Well it’s great to see you all…well..except…
(He looks at Mundungus)
Who are you?

MUNDUNGUS
Oh um…

MAD EYE
Mundungus Fletcher…a ruddy coward like I’ve ever known, but he’s the one who came up with this great idea…

HARRY
What idea?

MAD EYE
Well your mothers charm will only break under two conditions: when you come of age or you no longer call this place home. So this time, when you leave, there’ll be no going back and the charm will break the moment you get outside it’s range…

KINGSLEY
The one thing we’ve got on our side is that You-Know-Who doesn’t know we’re moving you tonight.

TONKS
You’ll be going to my parents Harry, once you’re within the boundaries of the protective enchantments we’ve put on the house, you’ll be able to Portkey to the Burrow.

HARRY
Won’t it be kinda obvious where we’re going? I mean there are fourteen of us flying towards your parents….

MAD EYE
Ah yes and here is the key to the plan. There will be seven Harry Potters moving through the skies tonight, each of them with a companion, each pair heading for a different safe house.

HARRY
But..
(Moody plucks a piece of Harry’s hair out of his head)
Ow!

MAD EYE
Granger! You’ve got the Polyjuice potion.

HERMIONE
Here it is sir…

MAD EYE
Good. Now all seven Harry Potter line up over there.

Ron, Hermione, Fred, George, and Fluer all walk to to the other side of the kitchen and line up. Mad Eye pushed Mundungus forward and he reluctantly joins them.

HARRY
This is mad….

FRED
Well, none of us really fancy it Harry.

GEORGE
Imagine if something went wrong and we were stuck as specky, scrawny gits forever!

HARRY
Funny….

Mad Eye hands each of them a small container filled with polyjuice poition.

MAD EYE
All together then.

They all take a big gulp of the drink. All of a sudden all of their features start to change into Harry. Harry stares in disbelief as now there are 7 other Harry Potter’s standing in front of him.

FRED AND GEORGE
(They look at each other)
Wow…we’re identical!

HERMIONE
Harry your eyesight really is awful!

MAD EYE
Great…now Harry you will go with Hagrid on Sirius’s old bike. The Death Eaters will expect you to be on a broom.

EXT. DURSLEY’S BACKYARD-MOMENTS LATER

The scene cuts to everyone on their respected item of transportation. Harry looks around nervously.

HARRY
Hagrid, are you sure this is safe.

HAGRID
Don’ worry ‘arry, there are a few tricks on this bike if anythin ‘appens.

MAD EYE
Good luck, everyone! See you all in about an hour at the Burrow. On the count of three. One…two…THREE!!!

Harry grasps on to Hedwigs cage in his lap as the bike starts and everyone takes off into the night sky. They rose into the sky and then suddenly out of knowhere they were surrounded by atleast thirthy hooded figures circles around them. Flashed of green light starts to fly throughout the air as the Death Eaters start throwing spells at the Order. Hagrid turns the bike sharply to avoid a spell and the others split off into separate directions. As the bike turns to the side Harry’s broomstick and Hedwig’s cage both fly out. Harry manages to grab Hedwigs’ cage then BOOM a spell hit’s Hedwig and she lands on the bottom of her cage dead.

HARRY
No…NO!

The motorbike zooms ahead forward and Harry holds the cage close to his chest.

HARRY
Hedwig…Hedwig!!

The scene then shifts to Moody and Mundungus flying quickly avoiding spells. Then all of a sudden Voldemort appears and he’s FLYING towards them quickly.

MUNDUNGUS
Oh my..he can fly..HE CAN FLY MOODY!!!

MAD EYE
Nose down Fletcher, he has to believe you’re Harry…

MUNDUNGUS
No…no I didn’t sign on for this…

VOLDEMORT
Avada….

MUNDUNGUS
(Whispers)
No…

VOLDEMORT
Kadavra!

As the green light shoots out of his wand Mundungus Apparates off of the broom stick and BOOM Mad Eye is hit with the spell and falls off of his broom. Voldemort sneers and apparatus in the middle of the air. The scene shifts back to Harry and Hagrid still dodging spells in the air. Harry is throwing stunning spells back as Hagrid turns.

HARRY
There’s to many of them….

HAGRID
This’ll do it Harry, hold on tight!

Hagrid pushes a purple button and SWOOSH a loud roar occurs and white-hot and blue flams come bursting out of the exhaust sending the bike speeding away. A death eater sways to avoid the fire. Harry looks down to notice that the sudden speed has caused the sidecar to sway and it was coming apart from the bike and then CRACK it broke away. Harry quickly pulls out his wand….

HARRY
Wingardium Leviosa!

The sidecar stopped momentarily and Harry looks up to notice the 3 Death Eaters closing in fast.

HARRY
Impedimenta!

The spell hits the Death Eater in the middle and as the sidecar starts to fall again. A spell comes flying at Harry who ducks to avoid it and hits his mouth on the side of the side car and then Hagrids hand grabs the back of his shirt and pulls him up onto the bike. Harry is now sitting back to back with Hagrid who continues to fly and dodge spells. Harry looks down at the falling sidecar.

HARRY
Confringo!

The spell hits the sidecar and it explodes which knocked the Death Eater closest to it off of his broom. The remaining Death Eaters continue to fly towards Harry and the hood of one flies off of his head revealing that he’s STAN SHUNPIKE.

HARRY
Stan Shunpike…no…
(Stan points his wand at Harry)
Expelliarmus!

STAN
(He smiles)
That’s him, it’s him, it’s the real one.

Both Death Eaters look at each other and vanish out of sight.

HAGRID
Harry, what’s happened? Where’ve they gone?

HARRY
I…I don’t know!

HAGRID
Hold on tight Harry, we’re nearly there….

Hagrid pushes the button again and SWOOSH it takes off again. The bike starts to dip a little and Harry grabs his scar and starts to scream out in pain. SWOOSH Voldemort appears suddenly flying quickly towards them. Hagrid turns sharply as Harry starts to send out stunning spells, knocking one of the Death Eaters off of their broom and then BANG a spell hits the motorbike and sends it spiraling through the air out of control. Spells are still flying around them as a death eater appears beside them.

HAGRID
NO!

Hagrid jumps off the bike and jumps on the Death Eaters broom on top of him and they both plummet towards the earth.

VOLDEMORT
Avada…

Harry lays his head down in defeat. His hand moves up and BAM a burst of golden fire shoots from his wand shocking Voldemort as it hits the wand cracking it as Voldemort is thrown back.

VOLDEMORT
NO!!!

Harry looks around and pushes the button and SWOOSH off again the bike goes. Harry turns around and sees Voldemort grab the wand of the nearest Death Eater. He points the wand at Harry and his eyes widen and SWOOSH he vanishes. Harry turns suddenly to try and control the out of control motorbike. He notices down on the ground Hagrid spread eagle on the ground.

HARRY
HAGRID!

Harry pulls hard at the handlebars and CRASH he slams into a muddy pond. He is thrown out and lands on his back and screen cuts to black.

INT. TONKS RESIDENCE-LIVING ROOM-MOMENTS LATER

TED TONKS
(Through the darkness)
Harry…Harry Potter…

The screen fades back in from Harry’s point of view looking up at TED TONKS staring down on him. Harry jumps up suddenly and looks around. Ted hands him his glasses.

TED
You’re safe now, we now know the protective charms we put up are working. Voldemort and the Death Eaters couldn’t get through.

HARRY
Hagrid…

TED
He’s fine…don’t worry. The wife is doing final patches on him. That’s a pretty nasty fall you made.

HARRY
Are you Tonks father?

TED
Ted Tonks at your service Mr. Potter. The portkey to the burrow is waiting, you best be off soon. Do me a favor though, let us know if Nymphadora’s alright and if all is well tell her we’ll be there for the wedding next week.

HARRY
Wedding?

TED
Haven’t you heard? Dora and Remus are getting married. But enough of that later, lets get you to that Portkey.

EXT-THE BURROW-FRONT YARD-NIGHT-MOMENTS LATER

The scene cuts to a shot of THE BURROW up the hill. There’s a FLASH and Harry and Hagrid fall onto the ground. We see lights come on in the distance and figures running towards them. As Harry gets up and dusts himself off we see MRS. WEASLEY run up to him and wrap her arms around him.

MRS. WEASLEY
Oh Harry, my dear boy we were so worried. You were the only one’s who haven’t arrived yet, I didn’t know….

HARRY
I’m fine Mrs. Weasley…is everyone else okay?

MRS. WEASLEY
(She stares sadly at Harry)
I’m afraid not, come in dear. We’ll fill you in on everything.

INT-THE BURROW-LIVING ROOM-MOMENTS LATER

Harry follows Mrs. Weasley into the living room. Everyone turns around. Harry notices GINNY and then notices George lying on the couch with a bandage around his head.

HARRY
What happened to him?

GINNY
Snape used the Sectumsempra spell on him, took his ear clean off.

Lupin jumps up and rushes to Harry, placing his hands firmly on his shoulders and looking into his eyes.

LUPIN
What creature sat in the corner the first time that Harry Potter visited my office at Hogwarts!

HARRY
A…a grindylow in a tank, wasn’t it?

LUPIN
It’s him
(he backs away from Harry and goes to sit beside Tonks)
We’ve been betrayed Harry. Voldemort knew that you were being moved tonight...someone…

HARRY
None of the Order would have told Voldemort we were moving tonight. He only caught up with me towards the end…

TONKS
He caught up with you?

RON
Blimey Harry how did you escape?

LUPIN
Not only that, but how did they figure out it was you.

HARRY
I…well…I don’t’ know really. I saw Stan Shunpike, remember he drove the Knight Bus. And I tried to disarm him instead of….well…he doesn’t know what he’s dong does he? He must’ve been Imperiused.

LUPIN
Harry, the time for Disarming is past! These people are trying to kill you! Atleast Stun if you aren’t prepared to kill!

HARRY
We were hundreds of feet up! Stan’s not himself and if I stunned him and he’d fallen, he’d have died the same as if I’d used Avada Kadavra!

LUPIN
You’re missing the point Harry…

HARRY
Am I? Correct me if I’m wrong but Expelliarmus saved me from Voldemort two years ago! I won’t blast people out of my way just because they’re there, that’s Voldemorts job!

They all stare at Harry who looks around the room and notices someone missing.

HARRY
Where’s Moody?

Everyone’s head drops at the mention of his name.

KINGSLEY
He didn’t make it Harry.

Harry turns around from all of them in the state of shock. Tears swelling up in his eyes.

HARRY
I can’t stay here. You’re all in danger while I’m here. I don’t want…

MRS. WEASLEY
Don’t be silly! The whole point tonight was to get you here safely.

HAGRID
Yer not goin’ anywhere…

MR. WEASLEY
Look at what we went through to get you here.

GEORGE
Yeah, what about my bleeding ear?

They all turn and look at George who’s just awakened.

FRED
Are you all right?

GEORGE
Yeah, I feel saint like actually. You see brother…I’m holy. Holey
(He points at his missing ear)
Get it?

FRED
With the whole wide world of ear related humor before you, you go for holey?

HAGRID
See ‘arry you can’t go

GEORGE
Ear, Ear!

FRED
That’s better!

HARRY
Fine I’ll…stay. Is it alright if I go to bed?

MRS. WEASLEY
Of course dear. Do you want me to fetch Hedwig for you, I’ll put her up with the other owls.

Harry eyes fell. He hadn’t thought about it and it seems everyone else in the room notices. Ginny and Hermione both start crying and Mrs. Weasley places her hand over her mouth in shock.

HARRY
Can I please…just go to sleep…

He turns and leaves everyone.
INT. THE BURROW-RON’S ROOM-NIGHT

The scene cuts to Harry stirring in his sleep. Suddenly FLASH

INT. MALFOY MANOR-DUNGEON-NIGHT

There is a man shown on the floor crying out in pain. He looks up and we see that it is OLLIVANDER.

VOLDEMORT
(Offscreen)
CRUCIO!

Ollivander screams out in pain as Voldemort steps into view, clearly angry.

VOLDEMORT
You lied to Lord Voldemort Ollivander. You say that since Potter and I have the same core in our wands we won’t be able to fight one another, and that if I change wands I could destroy him.

OLLIVANDER
Please...no…I swear...I thought I thought

VOLDEMORT
Lies! You sought to help him, to help him escape…me….

OLLIVANDER
The connection…. exists only between your two wands….

VOLDEMORT
Really?
(He throws Lucius’s broken wand down in front of Ollivander)
Explain this then.

OLLIVANDER
No…I…I….

Voldemort points the wand at Ollivander again who starts to scream out in agony and FLASH

INT. THE BURROW-RONS ROOM-MOMENTS LATER

Harry jumps up as the scream is still being heard on scream. Harry is sweating and panting crazily.

INT. THE BURROW-ROOMS ROOM-MORNING’

The scene cuts to a shot of the Burrow in the morning. We then hear Hermione’s voice as the scene cuts to Harry sitting on his bed and Ron and Hermione are sitting across from him.

HERMIONE
You scar wasn’t supposed to do that anymore Harry! You mustn’t let that connection open up again, Dumbledore wanted you to close your mind. Don’t let him get inside your head!

RON
And you say your wand acted on it’s on to destroy him?

HERMIONE
That’s impossible, I’m sure Harry just reacted instinctively.

HARRY
No Hermione, I’m telling you it wasn’t a spell I recognized. Its like my wand had a power of it’s own….

There’s a knock on the door and Harry turns around and standing there with a birthday cake is Mrs. Weasley and Ginny.

MRS. WEASLEY, RON, GINNY and HERMIONE
Surprise!!

Ron pats him on the back and Hermione jumps up and hugs him before walking past Mrs. Weasley and Ginny out of the room.

RON
Didn’t think we’d forgotten your birthday did you mate?

HARRY
Yes, I’d forgotten myself. I’m seventeen!

RON
Which means you can do magic whenever you want now. Give it a go.

HARRY
Ok…
(Notices a book near Ron’s bed)
Accio Book!

The book flies towards Harry and he catches it and reads the title.

HARRY
Twelve Fail-Safe Ways to Charm Witches…what…

Ron quickly grabs the book and stuffs it under his pillow.

MRS. WEASLEY
Yes, well come on down stairs dear everyone’s waiting!

She turns to leave and they all walk out of the room. Before heading downstairs Ginny grabs him by the arm.

GINNY
We need to talk.

They both back away and Ron turns around as they both walk into Ginny’s room and closes the door.

INT. THE BURROW-GINNY’S ROOM-MOMENTS LATER.

The scene cuts to Ginny walking up to her window and looking out of it as Harry gazes around her room.

GINNY
(sighs)
Happy Seventeenth Harry.

She turns around and faces him.

HARRY
Thanks…ugh...nice view huh?

GINNY
I couldn’t think of what to get you. I know you, Ron, and Hermione are taking off soon on some mission and…I didn’t know what would be useful.

HARRY
Ginny….

GINNY
Nothing too big, because you wouldn’t be able to take it with you.
(She walks closer to him.)
So then I thought, I’d like you to have something to remember me by, you know…just in case you meet someone else while you’re off doing whatever.

HARRY
I think dating opportunities are going to be pretty thin to be honest.

GINNY
There’s the silver lining I’ve been looking for

Ginny reaches in and kisses Harry. They continue to kiss until the door opens and Ron walks in. They break apart and stare at him.

RON
Oh…I was um…sent to fetch Harry. Everyone’s waiting.

Ginny walks out of the room and turns around.

GINNY
Happy birthday anyway, Harry.

She gives a slight smile and walks down the hall. Harry tries to walk out but Ron blocks his way.

RON
You ditched her. What are you doing now, messing her around?

HARRY
I’m not messing her around Ron….

RON
She was really cut up when you ended it…

HARRY
So was I. You know why I stopped it, and it wasn’t because I wanted to…

RON
Yeah? But you go snogging her now and she’s just going to get her hopes up again if you keep groping her every chance you get…

HARRY
It won’t happen again okay?

RON
Right then…well…everyone’s waiting…

Ron turns to walk downstairs and Harry follows.

INT. THE BURROW-KITCHEN-MOMENTS LATER

Ron and Harry walks into the kitchen where Mrs. Weasley, Tonks, Lupin, Hagrid, Fred, George, Ginny, and Hermione are sitting.

EVERYONE
Happy Birthday Harry!!!

There’s a POP and confetti flies everywhere. Harry smiles as Lupin and Tonks both walk up and hug him.

MRS. WEASLEY
Come sit here Harry dear, it’s your special day.

HARRY
Thanks…I…you didn’t have to…

MRS. WEASLEY
Of course we had too…

LUPIN
You’re a man now Harry.

TONKS
We’re so proud of you.

They both look at each other and smile.

HARRY
Your dad tells me you two are getting married, congrats!

They both smile and kiss each other. Hermione, Mrs. Weasley, and Ginny all ‘Awww’ at this.

HAGRID
Seventeen, eh! Six years ter the day since we met, Harry, d’yeh remember it?

HARRY
Yeah….

MRS. WEASLEY
(She hands Harry a watch)
It’s traditional to give a wizard a watch when he comes of age…it’s not much but

Harry jumps up and gives her a hug.

MRS. WEASLEY
(Smiling)
Well everyone grab a plate and dig in!

Everyone starts to pass plates around the table and the camera zooms in on Harry with a smile on his face as he watches his friends.

INT. THE BURROW-KITCHEN-MOMENTS LATER

The scene cuts to everyone sitting at the table finishing up their dinners.

HARRY
This has been wonderful, thank you all.

LUPIN
We had to do this, seeing you’re taking a year off from school from what I hear.

IT goes silent and everyone looks up at Lupin. Mrs. Weasley has a worried look on her face.

MRS. WEASLEY
What?

HARRY
It’s nothing Mrs. Weasley, really…let’s just finish the meal…

LUPIN
You can’t do this alone Harry…

RON
He won’t be alone. Hermione and I are going with him.

MRS. WEASLEY
Going with…what is this?

HARRY
Dumbledore left us an assignment to do and we can’t talk about it okay. Just…just trust me…

MRS. WEASLEY
You’re just kids!

HARRY
Actually we’re not anymore. Besides it’s on Dumbledore’s orders Mrs. Weasley. If he says we can then you have to trust him….

Mr. Weasley walks in with a bag on his arm.

MR. WEASLEY
Harry, Ron, Hermione…could I speak to you three alone for a second.

MRS. WEASLEY
Arthur…?

MR. WEASLEY
Don’t worry Molly, we’ll be back soon.

The three of them get up from the table and follow Mr. Weasley out of the room.

INT. THE BURROW-SITTING ROOM-MOMENTS LATER

Mr. Weasley walks into the sitting room and gestures the three of them to sit down as he opens the bag.

MR. WEASLEY
I have something for the three of you. Scrimgeour was supposed to do this himself but I guess he wasn’t feeling up to it.

HARRY
You won’t see me crying over that. What is it?

MR. WEASLEY
Dumbledore. He left all three of you something in his will.

RON
All of us?

MR. WEASLEY
(He pulls out a piece of parchment and begins to read aloud)
Where is it…ah here it is. To Ronald Bilius Weasley, I leave my Deluminator, in the hope that he will remember me when he uses it.

Mr. Weasley pulls out the Deluminator and hands it to Ron. Ron grabs it and examines it and he pushes the button and SWOOSH it sucked out the light from the nearest light.

RON
Cool…

He clicks it again and the light is restored.

RON
I wonder why he left me this…I was under the impression he never noticed me at all.

HERMIONE
Don’t be thick; Dumbledore was very fond of you. Who wouldn’t be?

They both look at each other and smile and Mr. Weasley clears his throat.

MR. WEASLEY
To Miss Hermione Jean Granger, I leave my copy of ‘The Tales of Beedle the Bard’ in the hope that she will find it entertaining and instructive.

He pulls out the book and hands it to Hermione who quickly flips it open and begins to read.

MR. WEASLEY
And finally, To Harry James Potter. I leave the Snitch he caught in his first Quidditch match at Hogwarts, as a reminder of the rewards of perseverance and skill.

He pulls out the snitch and looks at it.

MR. WEASLEY
Now this I must say is most peculiar.

HARRY
Why’s that sir.

MR. WEASLEY
Flesh memory.

RON
What?

HERMIONE
(Still reading)
Snitches carry enchantments by which it can identify the first human to lay hands upon it, in case of a disputed capture.
(She looks up and all of them are staring at her.)
What?

Mr. Weasley hands the Snitch over to Harry and drops it in his hand. Harry picks it up and stares at it but nothing happens.

MR. WEASLEY
There’s one last thing left for you Harry. It’s the sword of Godric Gryffindor.

All three of them stare up him in shock.

MR. WEASLEY
Unfortunately it wasn’t available; I’m not sure where it is exactly. Listen you three, I could help out on this mission…

RON
You need your job Dad.

MR. WEASLEY
Could you atleast tell me…

HARRY
No…I’m sorry Mr. Weasley but Dumbledore didn’t want us to tell anyone.

MR. WEASLEY
I understand
(He smiles weakly)
Well I’ll leave you three to your thoughts, I’ll grab me a piece of cake.

He bows and walks out of the room.

RON
Why do you think he left us all this?

HERMIONE
He couldn’t put in his will why he left us this; for fear that the Ministry would confiscate it, which they did. That still doesn’t explain…’The Tales of Beedle the Bard’ If these things are important enough to pass on right under the nose of the Ministry, you’d think he’d have let us know why…unless he thought it was obvious.

RON
He left Harry an old Snitch…what the hell was that about?

HARRY
Well we’ve yet to find out don’t you think.
(They both stare at him)
Don’t you remember how I caught the Snitch in my first game?

RON
That’s the one you nearly swallowed!

HARRY
Exactly!
(Harry pops the Snitch in his mouth and takes it out and writing appears on it and Harry reads it aloud as the camera zooms in on it.)
I open at the close. I wonder what’s that suppose to mean…

There’s a CRASH in the kitchen and all three of them look up and run quickly into the kitchen.

INT. THE BURROW-KITCHEN-MOMENTS LATER

Mrs. Weasley is holding her heart as a silver lynx patronus came running through the kitchen and lands on the table.

KINGSLEY
(Voice coming from the Patronus)
The Ministry has fallen. Scrimgeour is dead. They are coming.

Fear strikes the eyes of everyone in the room. They run to the window and see plenty of black apparitions appearing turning into Death Eaters approaching the Burrow.

MR. WEASLEY
Oh no…

LUPIN
Harry, Ron, Hermione…you must flee now. Get as far away as you can…don’t worry about us we’ll be fine.

Spells are thrown at the house as windows shatter. Hermione frantically grabs the boy’s hands as they run out of the back of the house. She closes her eyes and SWOOSH they are gone.

EXT. TOTTENHAM COURT ROAD-MOMENTS LATER

The scene cuts to a busy street and SWOOSH Harry, Ron, and Hermione appear in an alleyway.

RON
Where are we?

HERMIONE
No time to explain Ron….
(She pulls out her small handbag and hands Harry his Invisibility cloak)

HARRY
Thanks…but…

HERMIONE
Undetectable Extension Charm. Tricky, but I think I’ve done okay. I managed to fit everything we need in here. I packed everything this morning…you know just in case….

RON
You’re amazing, you know that?

HERMIONE
(Smiles)
Thank you, now Harry put the cloak on!

HARRY
But everyone at the Burrow….

RON
It’s not the time to worry about everyone else mate. It’s you they’re after and we’ll just put everyone in more danger by going back.

Harry hesitates but throws the cloak over him and Ron and Hermione walk out of the alleyway and into the busy Muggle streets.

RON
So why’d you bring us here?

HERMIONE
What else is there? We can’t book rooms at The Leaky Cauldron and Grimmauld Place is out if Snape can get in there…

RON
But Dad told me that Moody put in spells just in case he showed up to stop him getting in, I’m sure it’s better than in this Muggle town. We have to go somewhere to find out what’s going on.

HERMIONE
We know what’s going on Ron! Voldemort’s taken over the Ministry, what else do we need to know?

RON
I dunno it’s just…

SWOOSH out of nowhere two figures apparate in front of them in black smoke. They stop dead in their tracks as they dark figures dressed in black slowly approach them. They pull out their wands…

HERMIONE
Run!

Hermione pulls Ron and the Invisible Harry into another alleyway in the nick of time as spells fly past them. The Death Eaters begin to chase them down the Alleyway throwing spells and rubble is blasted all around them. One Death Eater points his wand at Ron which sends out ropes flying at him. The wands wrap around Ron and he falls to the ground.

HARRY
(From under the cloak)
STUPEFY!

The spell shoots out but barely misses the death eater.

DEATH EATER 1
Expulso!

A strong spell flies out and BOOM the wall beside Harry explodes and the Invisibility Cloak flies off him as he avoids the tumbling wall.

HERMIONE
Petrificus Totalus!

BAM the Death Eater is hit square in the chest and falls down frozen as Harry grabs his wand and points it at the other one who’s about to attack Hermione.

HARRY
STUPEFY!

BAM the spell knocks the Death Eater hard into the wall and he falls out unconscious. Hermione runs over to Ron and points her wand at him.

HERMIONE
Diffindo!

SWISH the ropes fly out and Harry helps Ron up and then goes to fetch his Invisibility Cloak.

HERMIONE
Are you alright?

RON
Fine…

HERMIONE
How did they find us! What are we going to do?

RON
What are we going to do with them? You don’t think we should kill them do you?

HARRY
We…we just need to wipe their memories. It’s better like that; it’ll throw them off the scent. If we killed them it’d be obvious we were here.

HERMIONE
(She points her wand at the Death Eater)
Obliviate!

The spell hits the Death Eater in the head his eyes become unfocused and dreamy.

HARRY
Brilliant Hermione!

She points her wand at the other and does the same.

HERMIONE
How do you think they found us Harry? You don’t think you’ve still got your Trace on you…

RON
He can’t have, he’s seventeen now. What we need is a safe place to hide.

HARRY
Grimmauld Place.

HERMIONE
But Harry Snape….

HARRY
If he shows up I’d like nothing better to do than repay him for what he did. Besides where else is there?

Hermione and Ron look at each other and the scene cuts to…

EXT. GRIMMAULD PLACE-MOMENTS LATER

The scene cuts to a shot of Number 12 Grimmauld Place and SWOOSH Harry, Ron, and Hermione appear in front of it. They slowly approach the door and stand there for a moment.

HARRY
Well…here goes nothing.

He takes a deep breath and opens the door.

INT. NUMBER 12 GRIMMAULD PLACE-ENTRANCE

The camera shifts to inside of the house as we see Harry walking through the door. All three walk into the house and Ron closes the door behind him. They walk slowly up the hall until a familiar voice calls out…

MOODY
Severus Snape?

HARRY
We’re not Snape!

There’s a SWOOSH and Harry, Ron, and Hermione grab their mouths in pain for a second and another SWOOSH and it passes. Harry turns to look at them.

RON
Tongue Tying Curse that was, Moody must’ve set it.

Harry turns around and continues to walk and a dusty figure starts to form in front of them. Hermione grabs Ron’s arm as a figure of Dumbledore appears pointing at them.

HARRY
No! It wasn’t us! We didn’t kill you….

SWOOSH the cloud of dust explodes leaving them coughing.

RON
Do you think there’s anyone here? Or any more enchantments.

HERMIONE
Only one way to find out.
(She pulls out her wand)
Homenum revelio!

Nothing happens.

HERMIONE
That was a spell to reveal human presence, and there’s nobody here except us!

RON
And old dusty
(gesturing to where Dumbledore’s figure just was)

HARRY
Let’s get upstairs…
(He pauses and grabs his scar in pain)

RON
What is it?

HARRY
Nothing…I…

RON
Is it him? Did you see something. Is he at my place.?

HARRY
No I just felt angry, he’s really angry…

HERMIONE
Harry you’re supposed to be closing your mind…

HARRY
I know okay!

He turns his back on them as he closes his eyes in pain. Lord Voldemorts voice is heard over the screen

VOLDEMORT
You call me back to tell me that Harry Potter has escaped again! Lord Voldemort is not sure he will forgive this time.

There is a scream heard as Ron and Hermione both stare at him with fear in their eyes. The screaming suddenly stops as Harry opens his eyes. And a bright light shines in front of them.. Harry pulls out his wand as a weasel patronus appears out of the light as Mr. Weasley’s voice calls out.

MR. WEASLEY
Family safe, do not reply, we are being watched.

SWOOSH the patronus is gone. Ron gives a sigh of relief.

RON
They’re okay.

HERMIONE
That’s great news. Harry…are you okay?

HARRY
Yes, I’m fine don’t worry about me.

HERMIONE
Harry don’t let him into your mind! Otherwise Voldemort can plant false images in your head, remember Sirius…

HARRY
It’s over now Hermione, can you just drop it. Please.

HERMIONE
Well I think we should freshen up anyways. Let’s go upstairs and clean up. And don’t worry Ron I washed your undergarments yesterday…

RON
(Embarrassed)
Hermione….

Hermione and Ron proceed to walk upstairs slowly. Harry scratches his scar as he turns around to the spot the Dumbledore appeared, sighs, and follows.

IenjoyAcidPops December 22nd, 2007 7:14 am

Re: Fan Scripts: Script your own version of Harry Potter
 
Wow, Phrozenone, that is a lot, but it's pretty good, most of it. I mean, some dialogue could use some tweaking, but it's certainly not horrible. You really pared down "The Dark Lord Ascending" and "The Dursleys Departing"; I'm in the process of doing the same for my script, but I am going for longer than yours (or at least the one you just posted). It's kinda weird, though, you and I had some of the exact same lines for those scenes. Interesting choice to have Arthur deliver the items in DD's will; I'd just keep Scrimgeour. but that's just me. Now onto a couple particular things of interest:


Quote:

Originally Posted by Phrozenone (Post 4875779)
Ginny and Hermione both start crying

I must say, this I don't care for. One reason Harry likes (loves) Ginny so much is because she's more restrained emotionally. She doesn't cry easily, and I don't think Hedwig's death would be that occasion. Sorry if that came off harsh.


Quote:

Originally Posted by Phrozenone (Post 4875779)
DUMBLEDORE
Perhaps…EXPELLIARMUS!

The spell knocks Grindewalds wand out of his hand and sends it flying in the air. The camera shows the wand flying into the air towards Dumbledore.

DUMBLEDORE
But you in all your ignorance forgot that the simplest of spell could do the trick…
(He smiles as he reaches up into the air and grabs Grindewalds wand)

On the other hand, this I just love. I never really felt like we needed to see the duel, but that moment and quote almost has me changing my mind. I can really hear Gambon saying that, too. You know what? It reminds me of that bit in PoA where first, in The Great Hall, Dumbledore gives his speech and does that thing where he waves his hand and puts out the flame, and then later, in his Patronus lesson, Harry does the same gesture, just as a little bit of business. Subtle, but I really liked that mirroring, you know?

Phrozenone December 22nd, 2007 7:30 am

Re: Fan Scripts: Script your own version of Harry Potter
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by IenjoyAcidPops (Post 4875806)
Wow, Phrozenone, that is a lot, but it's pretty good, most of it. I mean, some dialogue could use some tweaking, but it's certainly not horrible. You really pared down "The Dark Lord Ascending" and "The Dursleys Departing"; I'm in the process of doing the same for my script, but I am going for longer than yours (or at least the one you just posted). Interesting choice to have Arthur deliver the items in DD's will; I'd just keep Scrimgeour. but that's just me. Now onto a couple particular things of interest:

Well if most of it is good then I've done my job :p

Honestly I wrote this maybe...3 weeks after DH was released so I had all these ideas going through my head. 'The Dark Lord Ascending' and 'The Dursleys Departing'...I guess I did kinda cut those down to their bare basics huh? lol (Just wait until you see the rest..it's MURDER!)Trust me there was ALOT more in it at first and I can't wait to see your version. I love seeing how many different ways people can interpret one story, it amazes me. I go off the wall and cut things and change things and add things to try to make it flow better and keep it a short running time...whereas others are more for detail and sticking close to canon and I LOVE it :lol: Hard core book fans would HATE me lol

Quote:

I must say, this I don't care for. One reason Harry likes (loves) Ginny so much is because she's more restrained emotionally. She doesn't cry easily, and I don't think Hedwig's death would be that occasion. Sorry if that came off harsh.
You are correct! Point well taken actually I never really thought about it. I just wanted tears and gosh darn it I picked the girls...how sexist of me...shame...maybe I'll have Shacklebolt cry? :lol:

Quote:

On the other hand, this I love so much I laughed out loud with happinness. I never really felt like we needed to see the duel, but that moment and quote almost has me changing my mind. I can really hear Gambon saying that, too. You know what? It reminds me of that bit in PoA where first, in The Great Hall, Dumbledore gives his speech and does that thing where he waves his hand and puts out the flame, and then later, in his Patronus lesson, Harry does the same gesture, just as a little bit of business. Subtle, but I really liked that mirroring, you know?
Oh you like it? Wow. Thanks! I was for sure that section would get me the most trouble from the fans. You're ABSOLUTELY right about the mirroring thing and that's EXACTLY what I was going for. I remember thinking "How EXACTLY can I make this wand business not that complicated and show the chain of it" and not knowing EXACTLY how the fight went I thought 'Hey if Dumbledore finishes off Grindewald the same way Draco got the wand from him and the way Harry wins it back in the end the connection would be so much stronger' and that's what I went for.

That line...remember what you said about about trying to right using the actors mannerisms and such? That's what I did there. I'm glad you liked most of it.

(Did you notice my little nod to Ron's book on how to please young witches? I'd forgotten I'd put that in there and just LOL'd as I was reading through it :p)

IenjoyAcidPops December 22nd, 2007 7:43 am

Re: Fan Scripts: Script your own version of Harry Potter
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by Phrozenone (Post 4875811)
I go off the wall and cut things and change things and add things to try to make it flow better and keep it a short running time...whereas others are more for detail and sticking close to canon and I LOVE it Hard core book fans would HATE me lol

Well, I'm not as hardcore as some, but I'm of the mindset that stuff should - nay, must - be rearranged, retooled, or cut in order to turn a great book into a great film. The key, of course, is zeroing in on what's really important to advancing the story and character as well as plot. You're right, it is interesting to see what others come up with themselves.


Quote:

Originally Posted by Phrozenone (Post 4875811)
(Did you notice my little nod to Ron's book on how to please young witches? I'd forgotten I'd put that in there and just LOL'd as I was reading through it )

Yep, that was a fun bit.

I've gone back and changed my first post-WB logo shot for "Spinner's End", and I will likely do so several more times :lol:. The next thing I post will actually be another scene, but not from HBP or DH. Instead, I'm either going to try my hand at the Harry/Dumbledore conversation from GoF's end or OotP's end, because I thought those scenes were each way too short and thin.

Phrozenone December 22nd, 2007 7:56 am

Re: Fan Scripts: Script your own version of Harry Potter
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by IenjoyAcidPops (Post 4875815)
I've gone back and changed my first post-WB logo shot for "Spinner's End", and I will likely do so several more times :lol:. The next thing I post will actually be another scene, but not from HBP or DH. Instead, I'm either going to try my hand at the Harry/Dumbledore conversation from GoF's end or OotP's end, because I thought those scenes were each way too short and thin.

That would be cool. I remember when I attempted to cut down Dumbledore's conversation at the end of OOTP a few years back...OMG it's TOUGH. Like he talks for a LONG time and to cut it down the way they did in the movie was actually impressive lol. I can't wait to see your view on it. Here's more of the DH script and you'll notice the last thing I post in it isn't in the book AT ALL!! I just had the idea while I was writing and I want 2 see what you think. Don't hold back...throw things at me if you must (I'm not done with it at all...like I said writers block..maybe you can help me out?)

BTW remember this is first draft LOL..there is ALOT I want to change now. Especially all the Kreacher stuff and I'm still not sure how I'll bring Dobby in yet but I just wanted you guys to have a glimpse into my thinking process

INT. NUMBER 12 GRIMMAULD PLACE-BEDROOM-MOMENTS LATER

The scene cuts to Harry sitting on one bed and Hermione and Ron sitting on another facing him in conversation.

HERMIONE
So what do you suppose we do now? We can’t stay here long; we still have a mission to do. Harry I know you wanted to go see your parents grave at Godrics Hollow, but shouldn’t we make the Horcruxes our priority? With the pieces of Voldemort’s soul out there we can’t possibly defeat him.

HARRY
If we knew where the Horcruxes were, I’d agree with you.

HERMIONE
Voldemort’s probably keeping a watch on Godric’s Hollow, I’m sure he expects you to go back and visit you parents.

RON
This R.A.B. person, you know, the one who stole the real locket? He said in his note he was going to destroy it right?

HARRY
He said he’s stolen it and intended to destroy it as soon as he could.

RON
Well, what if he did finish it off?

HERMIONE
Or she.

RON
Yes, or she
(She smiles at him and he blushes but continues talking.)
It’d be one less for us to do!

HERMIONE
We still have to trace the locket to see if it’s destroyed.

HARRY
The question is how do you destroy a locket. I’ve been wondering how Dumbledore destroyed the ring. Why didn’t I ask him? I never really asked him anything….

HERMIONE
Well after Dumbledore’s funeral I kinda….borrowed some of his books…

RON
What?

HERMIONE
Only because I was sure we’d need them!

RON
You’re amazing!

HERMIONE
(clears throat)
Yes, well, from what I’ve read what Harry did to Riddle’s diary was one of the few really foolproof ways of destroying a Horcrux.

RON
Stabbing it with a basilisk fang? Lucky we’ve got such a large supply of those…

HERMIONE
It has to be something so destructive that the Horcrux can’t repair itself. Basilisk venom can only be destroyed by one thing….

HARRY
Phoenix tears.

RON
Did you read anything on if you make a Horcrux, somehow putting the pieces of your soul back together?

HERMIONE
Yes actually, I can’t see Voldemort attempting it however. You have to feel remorse. You’ve got to really feel what you’ve done. The pain is said to be unbearable and can destroy you….

Harry gets up and walks across the room.

HERMIONE
Harry what’s wrong?

HARRY
Don’t you see Hermione? We’re unprepared. Who knows what lies ahead of us; I wish Dumbledore were still here.

HERMIONE
(Her eyes widens)
He still is here Harry.
(She jumps up.)
Don’t’ you remember? After a headmaster dies a trace of himself is left…

HARRY
In a portrait, yeah. One problem though, it’s in Dumbledore’s office. There’s no way we can get there.

HERMIONE
Maybe not…but I think I know someone who could help us.

INT. NUMBER 12 GRIMMAULD PLACE-SIRIUS ROOM-MOMENTS LATER

The scene cuts to Hermione leading Harry and Ron into Sirius’s room.

HARRY
Hermione what are we doing in Sirius’s room? How is this supposed to help?

HERMIONE
That!

She points at an empty portrait on the wall.

RON
Is there something we supposed to see?

HERMIONE
Don’t you see Ron. I just remembered. When Ron and I first got here 2 years ago Sirius took us on a tour. That portrait is of Phineas Nigellus Black.

HARRY
That’s great to know….

HERMIONE
He’s Sirius’s great great grandfather and old headmaster of Hogwarts. Don’t you see?

They both stare at her and wait for her to answer and she sigh’s in frustration.

HERMIONE
That’s the answer. As you know wizards can transport between their portraits. If we can somehow contact Phineas, maybe somehow we can contact Dumbledore through him.

HARRY
You think that’ll work?

HERMIONE
We might as well give it a try….
(She walks up to the portrait)
Phineas. Mr. Black are you there! Mr. Black we need to talk to you please!

Nothing happens and Hermione turns around with a look of disappointment.

HARRY
Maybe he’s busy with the new headmaster at Hogwarts whoever that is.

HERMIONE
Perhaps. We should keep a close watch on this just in case he appears.
(She starts to take the portrait down)
Who know’s how long we’ll be here. Might as well put it in my bag with everything else.

HARRY
I’m gonna go and see if I can find some food downstairs.

INT. NUMBER 12 GRIMMAULD PLACE-HALLWAY

Harry turns and walks out into the hallway. He slowly walks towards the stairs and looks at the sign on the door next to Sirius’s. He keeps walking but pauses and turns back around quickly and stares at the sign which reads ‘Do Not Enter Without the Express Permission of Regulus Arcturus Black’

HARRY
Regulus Arcturus Black. R.A.B.
(His eyes widen)
HERMIONE, RON…COME HERE QUICK!

They both run out of the room with their wands drawn quickly.

RON
What’s wrong mate. If it’s massive spiders again I want to eat before…

HARRY
Wrong? Nothing’s wrong. Look at this.

They both read and Hermione gasps.

HERMIONE
R.A.B. is Sirius’s brother. Do you think…?

HARRY
He was a Death Eater….

RON
Does that mean the locket is….

They all stare at each other for a moment until Harry walks forward and pulls out his wand.


INT. NUMBER 12 GRIMMAULD PLACE-REGULUS ROOM-MOMENTS LATER

There is a click and the door opens slowly by itself. Harry walks slowly into the room as the camera pans around showing everything around Regulus’s room. Harry walks up to a desk and picks up a photograph where there’s a picture of a young Sirius and Regulus looking up at Harry. The camera zooms in on Sirius smiling up and onto Harry who smiles slightly. He puts the picture around and turns to see Ron and Hermione tossing things aside.

RON
How do you expect to find a locket in this junk?

HERMIONE
Accio Horcrux!

Nothing happens.

HARRY
Nice try Hermione, I don’t think it’s in here.

HERMIONE
Harry but it has to be. Where else could it be?

HARRY
I don’t know…

RON
Well someone has to know.

HARRY
You’re right Ron. Who else could’ve possibly been around during this time?

Harry smiles strongly at them as the scene cuts to…

INT. NUMBER 12 GRIMMAULD PLACE-KITCHEN-MOMENTS LATER

The scene cuts to KREACHER carrying a large basket of scraps. Harry walks into the kitchen behind him.

HARRY
Kreacher!

Kreacher screams and drops the scraps on the ground. He clutches his heart.

KREACHER
Master? Back in my Mistress’s old house with the blood traitor Weasley and the Mudblood….

HARRY
I forbid you to call anyone ‘blood traitor’ or ‘Mudblood’. What are you doing here? Aren’t you supposed to be at the school?

KREACHER
My apologies Master, Kreacher will leave immediately…

HARRY
Actually I’m glad you’re here. I was just going to summon you anyway. I’ve got a question for you and I order you to answer it truthfully. Understand?

KREACHER
Yes, master.

Harry looks back and Ron and Hermione before asking.

HARRY
Did you know anything about a locket that Regulus Black stole from Lord Voldemort?

Kreacher’s eyes widen at the question and tears start to pour from his eyes.

KREACHER
Kreacher failed! Kreacher did wrong!

Kreacher turns and runs his head into the cabinet.

HARRY
I order you to stop!
(He kneels down eye level to him)
Please Kreacher, tell me what you know about the locket.

Kreacher looks up at Harry and sigh.

KREACHER
At the age of sixteen Master Regulus joined the Dark Lord. So proud, so proud, so happy to serve….

There is a FLASH and we see Regulus Black standing in the exact spot Harry is looking at Kreacher.

KREACHER
(V.O.)
Master Regulus came to Kreacher one day and said…that the Dark Lord required an elf and Master had volunteered Kreacher.

There is another FLASH and now we see Voldemort with Kreacher in the same boat in the CAVE from the last film riding across towards the island in the middle.

KREACHER
(V.O.)
The Dark Lord then took Kreacher to a cave and in the cave there was a great black lake which Kreacher took a boat across with the Dark Lord. There was a basin full of potion and…and…

There is a FLASH and now we see Kreacher rolling across the ground in pain and Voldemort laughing at the sight.

KREACHER
(V.O.)
He made Kreacher drink it, he made Kreacher drink all the potion. Kreacher saw terrible things, Kreacher’s insides burned. He dropped a locket into the empty basin…he filled it with more potion. And then the Dark Lord sailed away, leaving Kreacher on the island. Kreacher needed water, he drank from the black lake…and hands, dead hands, came out of the water and dragged Kreacher under the surface….

There’s a FLASH and we’re back at present time with Kreacher crying heavily as Harry is still kneeled in front of him.

HARRY
How did you get away?

KREACHER
Master Regulus told Kreacher to come back.

HARRY
I know, but how did you escape the Inferi?

KREACHER
Master Regulus told Kreacher to come back.

HARRY
I know, but….

RON
It’s obvious isn’t it Harry, he Disappaated.

HARRY
But you can’t Apparate in and out of that cave, otherwise Dumbledore…

RON
Elf magic isn’t’ like wizards magic, is it? I mean they can Apparate and Disapparate in and out of Hogwarts when we can’t. He’s proof of that right now.

KREACHER
The house elf’s highest law is his Master’s bidding.

HARRY
So then what happened?

There is a FLASH and once again we see Regulus kneeling down in front of Kreacher.

KREACHER
(V.O.)
Master was very worried, worried indeed. One night Master came to Kreacher and asked Kreacher to take him to the cave where Kreacher had gone with the Dark Lord.

FLASH now Kreacher and Regulus are standing on the island in front of the basin.

KREACHER
(V.O.)
Master Regulus took from his pocket a locket like the one the Dark Lord had and he told Kreacher to take it and, when the basic was empty, to switch the locket and he ordered Kreacher to leave without him and to destroy the first locket.

There is a shot of Kreacher crying as the Inferi slowly pulls Regulus under the water. Regulus looks up and smiles at Kreacher before he’s taken under.

KREACHER
(V.O.)
Master Regulus was dragged beneath the water…and….

FLASH they’re back in common time and Hermione is in tears. Ron goes to comfort her and Harry sits down beside Kreature and stares ahead as the elf continues to cry.

HARRY
So you brought the locket here and tried to destroy it?

KREACHER
Nothing Kreacher did made any mark upon it. He failed…failed…

HARRY
Kreacher do you still have the locket?

Kreacher looks up at Harry and nods. He pulls the locket out of his pocket and shows it to Harry.

HARRY
May I have it please?

KREACHER
If Master wishes than it is so

He starts to cry even harder as he hands the locket to Harry. Harry looks at it for a second and then takes the fake locket out of his pocket.

HARRY
Kreacher, I’d like you to have this. This belonged to Regulus and I’m sure he’d want you to have it as a token of gratitude for what you…

KREACHER
(He looks up with Harry with tears forming in his eyes as he reaches out and grabs the locket)
Thank you master…thank you…

Kreacher smiles at Harry and Harry smiles back as Kreature holds the locket to his heart and walks away. Harry stares at the locket and we hear a soft beating like a heart. He tries to open it with it doesn’t bulge. He hands it to Ron who looks at aswell.

HARRY
I reckon we’re going to have to work out how to open this thing before we can destroy it.

RON
There’s definitely dark magic in this thing, it somehow makes me feel a little….angry….

He passes it to Hermione.

HERMIONE
What are we going to do with it?

HARRY
Keep it safe till we work out how to destroy it.

She hands it back to Harry who stares at it for a moment as the camera zooms in on it as the scene fades.

INT. GRIMMAULD PLACE-A FEW DAYS LATER-BEDROOM

Harry is putting on his jacket when Hermione comes in.

HERMIONE
Breakfast is ready Harry. Who knew Kreacher was such an excellent cook!

HARRY
He’s sure come around hasn’t he.

HERMIONE
You know what today is don’t you Harry? It’s the first day of school…and we’re not there. Weird huh?

HARRY
Yeah…I wonder what they’re doing…

Harry looks out the window and the camera passes by him quickly into a sea of clouds. The clouds part way and in the distance we see HOGWARTS.

INT. HOGWARTS-THE GREAT HALL-NIGHT
The scene cuts to a shot of Ginny sitting at the Gryffindor table in the Great Hall and NEVILLE LONGBOTTOM sits down next to her.

NEVILLE
Hey Ginny.

GINNY
Neville hey, how was your summer.

NEVILLE
Don’t ask.
(He leans in to whisper)
Where’s Harry, Ron, and Hermione?

GINNY
I’m not sure…

The hall goes quiet as the camera slowly pans up and shows standing in front of the podium Snape looking out over the hall.

SNAPE
I’d like to introduce the new headmaster of Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. Severus Snape.

There are gasps heard throughout the hall and there’s a shot of the Slytherians looks proud. The camera pans down the teacher table all of them looking nervous and MCGONAGALL looks furious.

SNAPE
I’d like to introduce a few new teachers to you all. Alecto Carrow will take over for Muggle Studies and Amycus Carrow will be filling the position of Defense Against the Dark Arts.

Neville leans in to Ginny as he says this.

NEVILLE
Aren’t both of them Death Eaters.

GINNY
Looks like You Know Who has his hand in Hogwarts as well.

SNAPE
I welcome the opportunity to uphold our finest Wizarding traditions and values. Rule breaking however, will result in harsh punishments. A new day and age is here and those who object will be dealt with.

He gives a half smile as the scene cuts to the students filing out of the Great Hall to their respected Dorms. Ginny however walks out of the front doors and looks up at the sky. Neville walks up behind her.

NEVILLE
Ginny are you alright?

GINNY
Yeah…I’m just wondering if they’re okay. I hope Ron and Hermione are all right.

NEVILLE
They’re strong Ginny, I’m sure wherever they are they’re fine.

He pats her on her back and turns around to walk in. Ginny continues to look up.

GINNY
(Whispers)
Harry…

INT. GRIMMAULD PLACE-ROOM-MORNING

The scene fades to a faded Ginny in the exact window that Harry is looking out of. He sighs and we notice that there are 5 Death Eaters standing out side of the house looking rather confused. Hermione walks up behind him.

HERMIONE
Apparently Snape hasn’t given them our whereabouts. They can’t see Number 12 because the secret keeper hasn’t told them. There’s nothing to worry about…

HARRY
I know..I just…I was thinking about Ginny. I hope she’s all right.

HERMIONE
She’s fine Harry…

Harry looks behind Hermione and sees Kreachur happily humming a tune as he goes down the hall.

HARRY
He sure is happy…

Harry turns around and looks out the window but all the Death Eaters are gone.

HARRY
That’s strange…where did they all go.

THUD. Harry and Hermione both turn around quickly as they hear noise coming from downstairs.

HERMIONE
What was that?

HARRY
Maybe Kreachure tripped again…

HERMIONE
(Pulls out her wand)
Homenum revelio!

There is a loud SWOOSH.

HERMIONE
(whispers)
Harry…someone else is here…

Harry pulls out his wand and they both walk slowly towards the stairwell as they hear faintly the defenses in the house going off. They look down the staircase and looking up at them holding a large BAG is Snape.

SNAPE
Potter!

HARRY
Hermione get Ron!

Harry blasts a spell at Snape which he deflects with ease. Hermione runs upstairs to fetch Ron as Harry continues to throw spells at Snape.

SNAPE
No Potter!

HARRY
MURDERER!

A green flash flies out of Harry’s wand but Snape avoids it and BAM a hole is knocked in the wall. Harry tries to cast another spell but it flies all across the room exploding the jars of heads in the hallway. He panicks and runs upstairs behind Hermione who comes running out of the bedroom with her bag and Ron at her hand.

RON
What’s going on?

Snape runs upstairs and Ron gasps as Hermione grabs Harry’s arm closes her eyes and SWOOSH they disappear. Snape runs to where they are and stops. He turns around as the scene fades to…

EXT. DARK WOODS-MOMENTS LATER

The scene fades to a shot of the WOODS with the sun setting in the distance. SWOOSH Harry, Ron, and Hermione appear falling on the ground. Harry is the first to stand up and dust himself off. He then angrily punches the tree in front of him.

HERMIONE
Harry….

HARRY
I could’ve killed him! I can’t believe I missed. My wand wasn’t working properly.

HERMIONE
What do you mean?

HARRY
I mean what I said Hermione! The spells I intended to throw….it didn’t work….and I don’t know….

Hermione grabs the hand Harry just punched the tree with and it’s bloody.

HERMIONE
I think I have something for this in my bag.

She walks over and starts rummaging through the bag.

RON
Guess those protections didn’t work to well. Now what are we going to do?

HERMIONE
(Walking over to Harry and pouring a liquid on his hand)
We can set up camp here for now. I’ll put some protective enchantments up around this place so we’re not detected. Ron could you grab the tent in the bag?

RON
You packed a tent? Do you think of everything?

She smiles and runs off as the scene cuts to a shot of the TENT standing in the middle of the woods. Ron and Harry putting the finishing touches on it when Hermione walks back up to them.

HERMIONE
That’s as much as I can do. At the very least, we should know they’re coming. I can’t guarantee it will keep out Vol…

RON
Don’t say his name!

HERMIONE
Honestly Ronald, Fear of a name….

RON
I know, it’s just….I feel like it’s a jinx or something. Can’t we call him You-Know-Who…please?

HERMIONE
Well regardless we should take turns keeping watch outside of the tent. We’ll also need to think about some food as well. I found some mushrooms while I was out putting up the protections.

RON
(Grumpily)
Great…

He turns and walks into the tent as Hermione walks over to Harry, who is now sitting on the ground outside the tent, and sits down beside him.

HERMIONE
Harry what’s wrong?

HARRY
I think I’m losing it Hermione. It’s like when I saw Snape I couldn’t think straight…I…I….

Hermione notices the locket hanging around Harry’s neck and realizes what happened.

HERMIONE
Of course…Harry hand me the Horcrux. The locket Harry give it to me!

Harry takes it from around his neck and hands it to Hermione and his expression immediately changes.

HERMIONE
Better?

HARRY
Yeah, loads better.

HERMIONE
I think it’s better if we take turns wearing it. It obviously affects anyone who wears it. It’s too much of a burden for someone to carry alone anyways.

HARRY
Thanks Hermione

He looks at her and smiles and she smiles back at him and the camera pans up at Ron looking at them from inside the tent. He turns to walk away.

INT. THE TENT-WOODS-NIGHT

The scene cuts to Ron sleeping in the tent and Harry is sitting up looking at the Mauraders map.

HARRY
I hope you’re okay Ginny….

The camera then zooms over Harry’s shoulder and close to the map and the scene switches to another shot of Hogwarts. The scene then cuts to

INT. HOGWARTS-DEFENSE AGAINST THE DARK ARTS CLASS-DAY

One of the Death Eaters Amycus Carrow is sitting in front of the class and there’s a student laying on the floor crying. Standing beside him is Goyle with his wand held out.

AMYCUS
This is what happens to bad children!
(Laughs)
So much like your father you are. Watch class, this is what happens when you step out of line. Mr. Goyle if you please!

GOYLE
Crucio!!!

The student on the floor screams in pain. The camera pans to Neville with anger in his eyes as he jumps up.

NEVILLE
STOP IT!

Goyle and the Amycus both look up.

AMYCUS
Problem Mr. Longbottom? You don’t want me to send you to detention do you?
(Laughs)
You’re a Pure Blood Longbottom. Filthy half breeds like this shouldn’t be in this school and you know it!

NEVILLE
They have every right!

AMYCUS
Watch your tongue! Now Longbottom I think it’s best if you participate in today’s lesson. You know what to do. Practice the Crucatus curse on this Mudblood

NEVILLE
NO! I won’t do it!

AMYCUS
(He walks slowly up to Neville)
Pity…

Amycus pulls out a knife and SWOOSH slashes it across Neville’s cheek. Neville falls to the ground in pain as Amycus walks back in front of the class.

AMYCUS
Anyone else has anything to say?

INT. HOGWARTS-COURTYARD-EVENING

The scene cuts to Neville sitting in the Courtyard with a bandage on his cheek and LUNA and Ginny sitting beside him.

LUNA
That was a brave thing you did Neville. Standing up to him like that.

GINNY
This is ridiculous.
(She looks at a kid chained to a statue in the courtyard)
That’s horrible…This isn’t Hogwarts anymore.

LUNA
But we’re still here, that means Dumbledore’s Army lives on right?

NEVILLE
Exactly. As long as I can I won’t let harm come to anyone innocent at this school.

He stands up, pulls out his wand to free the child until SMACK he’s hit with a spell from his left. Ginny and Luna rush to his side and standing there is Alecto Carrow.

ALECTO
I hope you weren’t thinking about freeing that boy Longbottom?

GINNY
You monster!

ALECTO
Watch you’re tongue Weasley before it’s cut out. Get out of here all three of you! Filthy Mudbloods deserve to be punished.

LUNA
Funny…I wonder how much Muggle blood you have running through your veins.

SMACK Luna is slapped by Alecto with brute force and she looks up with blood running down her nose.

ALECTO
You will pay for that Lovegood!

She marches away angrily and blasts a student as she walks by.

NEVILLE
I wish Harry was here. I wish I knew what they were up to and that we could somehow help.

GINNY
Maybe we can….

INT. HEADMASTERS OFFICE-HOGWARTS-NIGHT

The scene cuts to the SPINNING GARGOYLE. Ginny, Neville, and Luna walk out and into Snape’s office.

NEVILLE
You sure this will help?

GINNY
Dad told me that Harry was left Gryffindor’s Sword, it’s rightfully Harry’s.

LUNA
I hope Seamus’s distraction keeps Snape long enough.

NEVILLE
Where do you think it is.

Ginny looks around and notices the Sword sitting in a mirror case on the wall.

GINNY
There
(She pulls out her wand)
ACCIO GRYFFINDOR SWORD

SMASH the glass of the case shatters everywhere as the sword comes flying at them. Ginny quicky grabs it by the handle and looks at it.

GINNY
Great…lets go….

They turn around and freeze because standing in front of them is Snape holding on to SEAMUS.

SNAPE
And what exactly do you think you’re doing?

The three of them back away as the camera pans away out of the window and through the clouds. SWOOSH there is a wide shot of the forest and it is now Fall. Leaves are falling everywhere as the camera zooms in on the tent.


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