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Re: Fan Scripts: Script your version of Harry Potter
I've written a bit more of CoS, because I got tired of PS:  I wanted to finish this before I posted, But I ran out of time... Ah, I love the fact that DH is out: From DH thread: Quote:
I should post my script in PDF, too. I gets annoying formatting it (centering dialogue and having spaces in between). Edit: I found a way of doing that here is my PS script (first 4 and a half chapters and a bit of chapter 8, clocking in at the moment at 42 pages) [Link no longer valid] |
Re: Fan Scripts: Script your own version of Harry Potter
As part of my PS break I decided to do a chunk of GoF, only to figure out that it is twice too long. Oh, well, I'm not onto that yet, but what I have done (Now edited to include everything I've done.): |
Re: Fan Scripts: Script your own version of Harry Potter
More of PS: |
Re: Fan Scripts: Script your own version of Harry Potter
Oh MY ArryGrotter have I been gone away from this thread this long? Wow I have a lot of catching up to do lol. I'll read through some of your scripts and I'll post the next section of my old HBP screenplay. Let me know what you think! Remember I wrote this LONG before the OOTP movie came out so a certain spell that was used in THAT movie is still here..just ignore it :p
INT. BOYS DORMITORY-THAT NIGHT The scene fades to a shot of Ron in the bed snoring. The camera then pans to Harry looking in his Advanced Potions book using his wand as a light. We see a shot of what Harry is reading and zooms in on the word ‘Levicorpus (nvbl)’ Harry mouths the words and then sits the book down. He grabs his wand and flicks it and there’s a flash of light. BOOM! We hear Ron screaming and the camera pans to him hanging upside down like there’s a hook holding his leg in midair. Dean and Seamus run over and begin to laugh. HARRY Oh..um…sorry Ron. Hang on…I’ll let you down… He grabs for his book and looks through the pages. He drops the book and points the wand at Ron. There’s a flash of light and Ron falls to his mattress. HARRY Sorry. RON (In an exhausted voice) Tomorrow, I’d rather you set the alarm clock. INT-HOGWARTS-THE GREAT HALL-MORNING The scene cuts to a shot of Hogwarts and follows an owl through the the Great Hall. The camera then pans down to Harry, Ron, and Hermione at the Gryffindor table. HERMIONE So you just decided to try out an unknown, handwritten incantation and see what would happen? HARRY Why does it matter if it’s handwritten? HERMIONE Because it’s probably not Ministry of Magic approved and also because I’m starting to think this Prince character was a bit dodgy. RON It was a laugh Hermione, that’s all. Calm down. You just don’t like the Prince because he’s better than you in Potions… Hermione It’s got nothing to do wih that! I just think its very irresponsible to start performing spells when you don’t even know what they’re for! Half Blood Prince, I bet it’s just a stupid nickname, and it doesn’t seem as though he’s a very nice person to me! Hundreds of Owls start to fly into the Great Hall carrying packages HARRY Hermione if he’d been a budding Death Eater he wouldn’t have been boasting about being ‘half-blood’ would he? HERMIONE The Death Eaters can’t all be pure blood, and I bet it’s only Muggle-borns they hate, they’d be quite happy to let you and Ron join up! RON There’s no way they’d let me be a Death Eater, my whole family are blood traitors! That’s as bad as Muggle-borns to them! HARRY And they’d love to have me, we’d be best pals if they didn’t keep trying to do me in. Hedwig lands a large package in front of Harry. Harry opens the pack and it’s a new copy of the Advanced Potion Making book HARRY Thanks Hedwig He pets Hedwig and she flies off back to the Owlery HERMIONE Oh good, now you can give that graffitied copy back. HARRY Are you mad? I’m keeping it! I’ll give Slughorn back the new one, he can’t complain. Hermione frowns and grabs the Daily Prophet and starts to read. RON Anyone we know dead? HERMIONE No, but there have been more dementor attacks and an arrest...Stan Stunpike. HARRY What?!? HERMIONE Yes, (The camera pans over here shoulder to show the glaring face of Stan Shunpike) Stanley Shunpike, conductor on the popular Wizarding conveyance the Knight Bus, has been arrested on suspicion of Death Eater activity. HARRY Stan Shunpike, a Death Eater? That’s not possible. RON He might have been under the Imperius Curse, you never can tell. HERMIONE This is horrible. Did you see today in Herbology? They called Hannah Abbott out of class to tell her that her mother was found dead. RON Yeah, things have been going crazy lately. People are terrified. The Patil twins’ parents want them to go home. HARRY What! But Hogwarts is safer than their homes, bound to be! We’ve got Aurors, and all those extra protective spells, and we’ve got Dumbledore! HERMIONE I don’t think we’ve got him all the time. Haven’t you noticed? His seat’s been empty an awful lot lately. Harry and Ron look up at the staff table and we see Dumbledore’s seat is empty. Professor Slughorn is walking down towards them. SLUGHORN Harry, Harry, just the man I was hoping to see! What do you say to a spot of supper tonight in my rooms? I hope very much that Miss Granger will favor me by coming too. HERMIONE Oh thanks…um… HARRY I can’t come, Professor. I’ve got a detention with Professor Snape. SLUGHORN Oh dear, I was counting on you, Harry! Well, now, I’ll just have to have a word with Severus and explain the situation. Yes, I’m sure I’ll see you both there. Slughorn walks away towards the staff table to talk to Snape and the scene cuts to… INT- CORRIDOR-DAY Harry, Hermione, and Ron walking to class and a young man named Cormac McLaggen walks up behind Harry and taps him on his shoulder. HARRY Yes? CORMAC We met on the train, in old Sluggy’s compartment. Cormac McLaggen, Keeper. Just wanted to introduce myself before trials today He looks at Ron and throws him a dirty look HARRY Right…well I guess I’ll see you then. CORMAC Yeah, and by the way Potter. You’ll go wrong not to pick me…(he walks away.) RON Who in the bloody hell does he think he is? I hope he doesn’t think he’ll get special treatment because you’re both some of Slughorns favorites! HARRY A lot of people have signed up for Quidditch this year. I dunno why the team’s this popular all of a sudden HERMIONE It’s not the Quidditch Harry…it’s you. You’ve never been more interesting, and frankly, you’ve never been more fanciable Snape walks towards them and stops when he see’s Harry SNAPE You are to be in my office at half past eight tonight to do your detention Potter. No matter how many party invitations you have received. He sneers then walks away as … |
Re: Fan Scripts: Script your own version of Harry Potter
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Did you move Levicorpus earlier? I actually find that effective, that way there the whole Prince good/evil argement can start earlier. |
Re: Fan Scripts: Script your own version of Harry Potter
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I see you've moved on past PS and have been dabbling in the other stories aswell lol. You're better than me..I've had writers block on my DH screenplay for...oh...3 months now and haven't touched it lol Yeah I moved Levicorpus up right after Harry's 1st lesson with Dumbledore....have to keep the tension up..and if I remember correctly I moved a few different Great Halls scenes into the one you just read....kills 40 birds with one boulder :cool: |
Re: Fan Scripts: Script your own version of Harry Potter
Well I've been doing a bit more on PS.
For anyone interested, I've been compelling changes/additions/etc. in a document, so one day I can look back at how much has changed since the first write (ie Post 1). Each change is shown with colour and even now that document is becoming a multi-coloured script. If you haven't guessed click this link to see it. (You might need flash or something to see it properly. I'm not entirely sure) |
Re: Fan Scripts: Script your own version of Harry Potter
Well in light of todays casting news I decided to add the next part of my old HBP screenplay that includes 3 of the newly casted members lol. I didn't want to actual show QUidditch so the following scene is the aftermath and don't worry, we won't be seeing that actual funeral for Aragog :)
EXT. QUIDDITCH STADIUM The scene fades to a shot of the Quidditch stadium. The camera then cranes down and we see that Quidditch tryouts have been held and Harry is announcing who’s made the team. HARRY Due to the fact that McLaggen only saved 4 and Ron saved 5 I think it’s only fair to award Ron the postion. McLaggen storms up to Harry CORMAC His sister didn’t really try. She gave him an easy save! HARRY Rubbish, that was the one he nearly missed. CORMAC Give me another go! HARRY No. Now if you don’t mind, get out of my face. Cormac frowns and storms off and we see Harry look at Ginny and smile. It is the first time he looks at Ginny this way, as if there’s something different about her. The camera zooms in on her and she smiles back as Dean comes and grabbes her by the hand and takes her away. We see the smile fade from Harry’s face and Ron walks up to him. RON I did alright didn’t I? HARRY Yeah and good thing to. Now I don’t have to deal with that McLaggen? Lavender Brown with one of her friends walk up to them. LAVENDER You were amazing Ron… RON Oh…thanks Lavender. LAVENDER See you around… (She grabs her friends arm and they walk away giggling.) RON What the bloody hell was that about? Ron and Harry look at each other and the scene cuts to EXT. OUTSIDE HAGRIDS HUT MOMENTS LATER Harry and Ron walking towards Hagrids Hut and the camera pans to a barrel full of what looked like foot long maggots, that are slimy, white, and writhing. RON Hagrid..hey…. (notices the slimey maggots). What the bloody hell are those? HAGRID Oh hey….Jus’ giant grubs RON And they grow into…? HAGRID They won’ grow inter nuthin’, I got em tter feed Aragog (He pauses and then starts to cry) HARRY Hagrid…what’s…. HAGRID It’s…him….Aragog…I think he’s dyin…I don’t know what I’ll do if he…if he….We’ve bin tergether so long… HARRY Hagrid I….is there anything we can do? HAGRID I don’ think so Harry, see the rest o’ the tribe, Aragog’s family…they’re getting a bit funny now he’s ill…bit restive… RON Yeah, I think we saw a bit of that side of them in our second year.... HAGRID I don’t reckon it’d be safe fer anyone but me ter go near the colony at the mo But thanks fer offerin, it means a lot… Hagrid walks away from them and the scene fades to' EXT. HOGSMEADE-DAY Hogsmeade. We see shots of different students going into various shops. INT-THREE BROOMSTICKS-DAY The camera pans to a shop named Honeydukes and goes inside where we see Harry, Ron, and Hermione drinking a Butterbeer. RON Wonderful HERMIONE Honestly Ron, we know you fancy her and all but… Hermione looks over at the bar and we see Madam Rosmerta making drinks for someone. RON What? No! You got it all wrong…I..ugh..was talking about the Butterbeer! HERMIONE We all know how much you fancy Madam Rosmerta Ron (She laughs) RON Jealous? HERMIONE Why….of course not (She clears her throat and looks at Harry to quickly change the subject.) Are you all right? You haven’t touched your Butterbeer? HARRY Yeah, it’s just that Slughorn is driving me mad, he keeps trying to get me to come to those parties. HERMIONE They’re not so bad, they’re even quite fun. RON Speaking of Slughorn… Slughorn walks into the pub and makes his way towards their table. SLUGHORN Harry m’boy! I can’t have you missing anymore of my little suppers. I’m determined to have you! Miss Granger loves them, don’t you? HERMIONE Yes, they’re really… SLUGHORN So why don’t you come along, Harry? HARRY Oh...I have Quidditch practice. SLUGHORN Well I certainly expect you to win your first match. Well, how about Monday night? HARRY Can’t, I have a meeting with Dumbledore SLUGHORN Unlucky again! You can’t evade me forever, Harry! He bows and walks away. RON He acts like I’m not even here, I’ve yet to get invited to these parties. HERMIONE Oh they’re not all they’re made up to be Ron. RON Yeah…right…you were just talking about how great they are! HERMIONE I did not! Oh honestly Ron you’re overreacting. Harry turns and looks out of the window as they continue to argue. He see’s Ginny and Dean walk by eating candy. He smiles slightly as… EXT- OUTSIDE OF HOGSMEADE The scene cuts to Harry, Ron, and Hermione walking back to school. There are two girls arguing in the background. Harry, Ron, and Hermione turn around to see what the fuss is about. It’s Katie Bell and Her friend Leanne. KATIE It’s nothing to do with you, Leanne! LEANNE Katie stop being a…. She reaches for the package that Katie is holding and Katie tugged it back and the package fell to the ground. All at once Katie rises in the air with her arms outstretched with her hair whipping around her by a feirce wind. Her eyes and closed and then she lets out a terrible scream. Her eyes open and Leanne begins to scream. She runs to Katie and tries to pull her down by her ankles. Harry, Ron, and Hermione run up to help and when they grab her she falls and Harry and Ron catches her. She’s shaking tremendously. They lower her to the ground and she’s thrasing and screaming. The scene cuts to Hagrid picking Katie up. HAGRID It’s ok, I’ll be taking her to the hospital wing. He walks away as she continues to scream. Hermione goes to comfort Leanne and Ron walks bends down and we see a shot of an ornate opal necklace that’s sticking out of the paper. He reaches down to grab it but Harry grabs his arm. HARRY Don’t touch it! I’ve seen this before, it was on display in Borgin and Burks ages ago. The label said it was cursed… Katie must have touched it. (He gets up and walks towards Leanne.) How did Katie get hold of this? LEANNE Well that’s why we were arguing. She came back from the bathroom in the Three Broomsticks holding it, said it was a surprise for somebody at Hogwarts and she had to deliver it. She looked all funny when she….oh no…I bet she’d been Imperiused and I didn’t realize! (She starts to cry in Hermione’s shoulder.) HERMIONE We’d better get up to school. HARRY She didn’t say who’d given it to her, Leanne? LEANNE No…she wouldn’t tell me. INT. McGONNAGELLS OFFICE-NIGHT The scene cuts to the Harry, Ron, and Hermione sitting in Professor McGonagalls office. PROFESSOR McGONAGALL So what happened when Katie touched the necklace? HARRY She rose up in the air and then bagan to scream, and collasped. Professor, can I see Professor Dumbledore, please? McGONAGALL The headmaster is away until Monday, Potter. HARRY Away? McGONAGALL Yes, Potter, away. But anything you have to say about this horrible business can be said to me, I’m sure! HARRY (He looks at both Ron and Hermione and back to McGonnagal.) I think Draco Malfoy gave Katie that necklace, Professor. McGONAGALL That is a very serious accusation, Potter. Do you have any proof? HARRY Well…no…but you must trust me. McGONAGALL Potter, you cannot point the finger of blame at Mr. Malfoy, he was not in Hogsmeade today. He was doing detention with me. And it might interest you to know Potter that Mr. Filch has set up Secrecy Sensors all over the school grounds. Any Dark object will be found, even the owls have extra security! Now if that is all, good day to you all! INT-MOVING STAIRCASE-NIGHT The scene cuts to the three of them walking towards their common room on the MOVING STAIRCASES RON Who do you think Katie was supposed to give the necklace to? HERMIONE Whoever it was has had a narrow escape don’t you think? No one could have opened that package without touching the necklace. HARRY It could’ve been meant for loads of people. Dumbledore, Slughorn…I wonder why Malfoy told her to take it into the castle. HERMIONE Harry, Malfoy wasn’t in Hogsmeade! HARRY He must have used an accomplice then. RON (Irritably) Oh drop it, Harry! HARRY Don’t take that tone with me! It’s not my fault Slughorn invited Hermione and me to his stupid party, neither of us wanted to go, you know? RON Well, as I’m not invited to any parties, I think I’ll go to bed. (He walks away from them angrily) HERMIONE Harry you should apologize. I know you’re convinced that Malfoys somehow at fault but he wasn’t there…. HARRY He is involved Hermione, and I’m going to find out how. She sighs knowing that there’s no point in arguing and The scene fades. Quote:
Oh Arry there is just SO much. I like some of the things but you have ALOT of things there. Why the prophecy at the beginning? You're introducing something that won't get brought up again until the 5th film and probably won't be resolved until the 6th. I mean it's an interesting concept and if this was a trilogy I'd say yeah good idea! It'll be interesting to see how your series shapes up though. What is the time limit you're giving yourself? Just remember Peter Jackson had to fight really hard to get LOTR that long and the thing LOTR had that Harry Potter doesn't are huge battles that lasted 20+ mins. Keep it up though it's very interesting. |
Re: Fan Scripts: Script your own version of Harry Potter
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But "Bloody hell"? I hate that line. It doesn't seem Ron to me and it's overuse through out the movie series is annoying Quote:
The prophecy bit I added just to add mystery to the film, really. To add something that won't be resolved till later. I think this is important in a series. IMO, the real movies don't do this well. The important things for later get glossed over, and when they need remembering, you won't. (I'm not that good at writing out a point, so I hope you understand) I hope to finish at roughly 130 pages. I'm about 1/3 way through the book and about 1/3 way through the limit, so I'm kind of OK, but I think the bulk of the pages will probably go to the last chapters, so then I'll be in trouble. |
Re: Fan Scripts: Script your own version of Harry Potter
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And I see your point. The thing about the real movies is when the 1st one was done only 4 book were out right? (Or was it 3) so they couldn't really foreshadow with the whole prophecy thing seeing that they didn't know about it lol. I mean it is interesting but I just feels it's to much. 130 pages huh? Interesting...that means you're going to have to adapt your butt off as you get near the end of the story. Just remember focus on what's important...merge scenes...move things around to have a nice flow going. Do you plan on writing a Quidditch game? |
Re: Fan Scripts: Script your own version of Harry Potter
I probably will make a shorter Quidditch scene than in the real movie. I.e. jumping straight to when Harry is jinxed
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Re: Fan Scripts: Script your own version of Harry Potter
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INT. ORPHANAGE-MIDDAY (SIXTY YEARS AGO) The scene fades to a shot of an old ORPHANAGE. The scene cuts to the back of MRS. COLE head as she writes something. There is a creak at the door and she looks up to see Dumbledore walking towards a woman. The camera pans over to his right and we see modern day Harry and Dumbledore walking behind him. HARRY Nice suit, sir. DUMBLEDORE Why thank you. YOUNG DUMBLEDORE Hello, my name is Albus Dumbledore. I am a teacher and I have come to offer Tom a place at my school. MRS. COLE And how come you’re interested in Tom? YOUNG DUMBLEDORE We believe he has qualities we are looking for. (He takes out a slip of paper.) I think this will make everything clear. (Mrs. Cole grabs the parchment and looks over it.) MRS. COLE This looks in order; may I offer you a glass of gin? INT-MRS. COLE’S OFFICE-MIDDAY(MOMENTS LATER) YOUNG DUMBLEDORE I was wondering whether you could tell me anything of Tom Riddle’s history? I think he was born here in the orphanage? MRS. COLE That’s right, it was a nasty night. (There is a FLASH and the scene plays out as she talks. We see Merope running, pregnant, in the rain towards the orphanage and pushes the door open) This girl, not much older than I was myself at the time, came and we took her in. (Merope is now in the bed screaming in pain as young Mrs. Cole wipes a wet towel over her head and a baby is brought into the frame and sat on her chest) She had the baby in an hour and she was dead in another hour. She told me he was to be named Tom for his father, and Marvolo, for her father and his surname was to be Riddle. (As she says this we see Merope take her final breath and die. Young Mrs. Cole picks up the baby and there is a shot of the baby looking up at her. Not crying just silent.) She died soon after that without another word. (There is another FLASH as we're back to modern day and she takes a sip of gin) He’s a funny boy. YOUNG DUMBLEDORE Oh really, how so? MRS. COLE He’s definitely got a place at your school you say? And nothing I can say will change that? YOUNG DUMBLEDORE Nothing. MRS. COLE Well…he scares the other children. YOUNG DUMBLEDORE You mean he’s a bully? MRS. COLE I think he must be but it’s very hard to catch him at it. For instance we took them out once to the seaside for a summer outing. Amy Benson and Dennis Bishop were never quite right afterwards, and all we ever got out of them was that they’d gone into a cave with Tom Riddle. DUMBLEDORE A cave? MRS. COLE Yes and he swore they’d just gone exploring, but something happened in there, I’m sure of it. INT-TOM’S BEDROOM-MIDDAY (MOMENTS LATER) The scene cuts to Mrs. Cole opening a door and walking in. Old Dumbledore follows as does Modern Dumbledore and Harry. We see sitting on the bed a young boy, A young Tom Riddle. MRS. COLE Tom you’ve got a visitor. This is Mr. Dumberton…sorry, Dunderbore. (She turns to Dumbledore) Call me when you’re done. Mrs. Cole exits YOUNG DUMBLEDORE How do you do, Tom? I am Professor Dumbledore. TOM Professor? What are you here for? Did she get you in to have a look at me? YOUNG DUMBLEDORE No, in fact I contacted her. TOM I don’t believe you. She wants me looked at, doesn’t she? Tell the truth! YOUNG DUMBLEDORE I have no reason to lie to you Tom and please watch your tone. I work at a school called Hogwarts. I have come to offer you a place at my school, if you would like to come. TOM You’re from the asylum aren’t you? That old cat’s the one who should be in the asylum. I never did anything to little Amy Benson or Dennis Bishop, you can ask them! YOUNG DUMBLEDORE I am not from the asylum. Hogwarts is a school for people with special abilities… TOM I’M NOT MAD! YOUNG DUMBLEDORE I know that you are not mad. Hogwarts is not a school for mad people. It is a school of magic. TOM (With a stunned look on his face.) Magic…it’s magic what I can do? YOUNG DUMBLEDORE What is it that you can do? TOM (Excited) All sorts. I can make things move without touching them. I can make animals do what I want them to do, without training them. I can make bad things happen to people who annoy me. I can make them hurt if I want to. I knew I was different, I knew I was special. HARRY Wow, he believed it much quicker than I did sir. DUMBLDORE Yes, Tom was perfectly ready to believe that he was special. TOM Are you a wizard too? YOUNG DUMBLEDORE Yes, I am. TOM Prove it. YOUNG DUMBLEDORE If, as I take it, you are accepting your place at Hogwarts…. TOM Of course I am! YOUNG DUMBLEDORE Then you are to address me as ‘Professor’ or ‘sir’ Dumbledore takes out his wand and points in at the wardrobe in the corner. BANG! It bursts into flame. Tom stares with excitement in his eyes and Dumbledore waves his wand again and its back to normal. TOM Where can I get one of them? YOUNG DUMBLEDORE All in good time, I think there is something trying to get out of your wardrobe. Open the door. Tom hesitates and then walks over and opens the wardrobe door. He pulls out a cardboard box that is shaking. He opens it and it’s has a yo yo, a silver thimble, and a tarnished mouth organ in it. DUMBLEDORE Notice how Tom likes to collect trophies Harry. Those items in that box were taken from victims of his bullying behavior, souvenirs, if you will, of particulary unpleasant bits of magic. Bare in mind this magpie like tendency, for this, particularly, will be important later. YOUNG DUMBLEDORE Is there anything in that box that you ought not to have? TOM I suppose so, sir. YOUNG DUMBLEDORE You are to return them to their owners with your apologies. And be warned: Thieving is not tolerated at Hogwarts. Hogwarts can expel students and the Ministry of Magic will punish lawbreakers. All new wizards must accept that, in entering our world, they abide by our laws. TOM Yes, sir. There’s one problem though… I don’t have any money. YOUNG DUMBLEDORE There is a fund at Hogwarts for those who require assistance to buy books and robes. TOM Where do you buy spellbooks? YOUNG DUMBLEDORE In Diagon Alley, I can help you find everything… TOM I don’t need you, I’m used to doing things for myself. How do you get to this Diagon Alley…sir? YOUNG DUMBLEDORE You will be able to see it. Ask for Tom the barman… (Tom frowns when the name Tom is said.) You dislike the name ‘Tom’? TOM There are a lot of Toms. DUMBLEDORE As you just saw Harry, he hated anything that tied him to other people, anything that made him ordinary. He shed his name, as you know, within a few short years of this and created the mask of ‘Lord Voldemort’ behind which he has been hidden for so long. TOM When do I come to this Hogwarts? YOUNG DUMBLEDORE All the details are there Tom. You will leave from King’s Cross-station on the first of September. TOM I can speak to snakes. Is that normal for a wizard? YOUNG DUMBLEDORE It is unusual, but not unheard of. (HE turns and walks towards the door.) Good bye Tom…I shall see you in Hogwarts. The scene shows a shot of Tom looking at Dumbledore. The camera then pans back through the door and slams. INT-COURTYARD-EVENING (NEXT DAY) The scene cuts to Harry, Hermione, and Ron walking outside of Hogwarts in the courtyard. RON I still don’t get why Dumbledore’s showing you all this. I mean, what’s the point? HERMIONE I think it’s fascinating actually. It makes total sense to know as much about Voldemort as possible, how else will you find out his weaknesses? RON So how was Slughorn’s latest party? HERMIONE It was quite fun actually. I mean he drones on about famouse ex pupils a bit, and he absolutely fawns over McLaggen because he’s so well connected, but it was really nice. RON Oh yeah such a great thing to spend an evening with McLaggen huh Hermione. HERMIONE Jealous? RON Well I…. HERMIONE Anyways, he’s going to have a Christmas party and Harry there’s no way to wiggle out of this one because he actually asked me to check your free evenings, so he could be sure to have it on a night you could come. HARRY Excellent, thanks Hermione RON And this is another party just for Slughorns favorites, isn’t it? HERMIONE The Slug Club, yes. RON Slug Club! That’s pathetic. Well I hope you enjoy the party Hermione, why don’t you try hooking up with McLaggen, you guys could be King and Queen Slug. (He and Harry laugh) HERMIONE Well we are allowed to bring guests and I was going to ask you to come, but if you think it’s stupid then I won’t bother. RON (With a slight blush and amazed look on his face) You…. were going to ask me? HERMIONE Yes, but obviously if you’d rather I hooked up with McLaggen RON No..um what I meant was… HERMIONE I’m off to the library, see you two. (She walks away with a slight smile on her face) RON Was she serious? Do you think she was serious? Or was she just…you know… HARRY Oh Ron, you act like you actually want to go to Slughorns party. RON Oh…me..no…I mean…unless she asked me of course. But then I’ll be going just to be a good friend, not that I’ll enjoy it or anything. HARRY (Laughing) You’re pathetic (They turn around and corner and see Ginny and Dean kissing.) RON What the…(They stop kissing.) GINNY What? RON I don’t want to find my own sister snogging people in public. DEAN C’mon Ginny lets go back to the common room… GINNY You go, I want a word with my dear brother! (He kisses her on the cheek and walks away.) Lets get this straight once and for all. It is none of your business who I go out with or what I do with them, Ron… RON Yeah, it is! D’you think I want people saying my sister’s a… GINNY A what exactly? HARRY He doesn’t mean anything, Ginny… GINNY Oh yes he does! Just because he’s never snogged anyone in his life, just because the best kiss he’s ever had is from our Auntie Muriel… RON Shut your mouth! GINNY No, I will not! If you went out and got a bit of snogging done yourself, you wouldn’t mind so much that everyone else does it! RON (He pulls his wand out) You don’t know what you’re talking about! (Harry jumps between them) Just because I don’t do it in public!! GINNY Oh come off it Ron! Or have you got a picture of Auntie Muriel stashed under your pillow? A streak of orange light flies from his wand and BANG! it hits the wall beside Ginny’s head. Harry grabs his and pushes him against the wall. HARRY Don’t be stupid… GINNY (Near Tears) Harry’s snogged Cho Chang and Hermione snogged Victor Krum, it’s only you who acts like it’s something disgusting, Ron, and that’s because you’ve got as much experience of a six year old! She turns around and storms off. Ron puts his wand away. HARRY You ok? RON Yeah, she’s just being stupid. (They start to walk.) Um Harry? D’you think Hermione really snogged Krum? HARRY Oh…um…look at the time gotta go He runs off leaving Ron with a confused look on his face as the scene cuts to…. |
Re: Fan Scripts: Script your own version of Harry Potter
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I like how you moved the aftermath of the Penseive into the Penseive (Though I do miss "The mouth organ was only ever a mouth organ") And next comes some of my favourite scenes, though I am dissapointed with the scene move (Herbology>Courtyard, etc.) and that is sure to happen in the real HBP. This is just personal choice, but in the UK ed, Ron/Hermione say "got off with McClaggen" instead of "hook up with McClaggen" and, IMO, I'd preferr "got off", mainly because its the UK way. "Look at the time" was so cheesy! Worst line ever! I can't wait to see you write the party. |
Re: Fan Scripts: Script your own version of Harry Potter
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Oh come on! It isn't as cheesy as 'I love magic' is it?!?! lol Well what's a Harry Potter film without a little cheese huh? Thanks for the UK reference because I honestly have no idea (Like Kloves huh? :p) Since it's the holiday season I decided instead of waiting another month I'd post the party scene for you enjoyment. Plus I have to make up time since I disappeared for a few months lol. So here is the next section of the script and I'm sure you're going to have plenty of comments for this one lol. (Hopefully it's not full of cheese :err:) INT-CORRIDOR/GRYFFINDOR COMMON ROOM-NIGHT (SAME DAY) Harry walking down the corrider leaving Detention with Snape. He walks into the common room and we see Ginny walk up towards him from the crowd in the middle of the room. HARRY Hey Ginny. Have you seen… GINNY Looking for Ron? He’s over there, the filthy hypocrite. Ron and Lavender Brown are sitting in a chair kissing heavily GINNY It looks like he’s eating her face, but I suppose he’s got to refine his technique somehow huh? Harry chuckles as Ginny walks off to join Dean as Hermione comes through the portrait into the common room and see’s Ron and Lavender and stops in her tracks. She turns around quickly and walks out. Harry looks over at where she was and follows. INT-CLASSROOM-NIGHT (MOMENTS LATER) Harry walks into the classroom where Hermione is sitting alone. She has a small ring of yellow birds circling her head. HARRY Hermione? HERMIONE Oh, hello Harry. I was just practicing. HARRY They’re really good. HERMIONE Thanks… HARRY Are you alright? Before she could answer the door opens and Ron and Lavender run in holding hands and laughing. RON Oh…. LAVENDER Oops She laughs, kisses Ron, and walks out of the room. There is an awkward silence for a second. RON Hi, Harry! Wondered where you’d got to! Hermione stands up and the birds are still circling her head. HERMIONE You shouldn’t leave Lavender waiting outside. (She walks slowly towards the door. Harry and Ron both look at each other. Hermione stops at the entrance of the door and turns around.) Oppugno!!! She points her wand at Ron and the birds all sped towards Ron and start pecking and clawing at him. He starts to scream and try and get them out of his face. She smiles a little and walks out of them room. INT-THE GREAT HALL-DAY Ron and Harry are sitting in the Great Hall. Harry is reading a book. While Ron is talking its clear that Harry is ignoring him. RON She can’t complain she snogged Krum. I never promised Hermione anything. I mean, alright, I was going to go to Slughorns Christmas party with her, but just as friends…I’m a free agent. INT-GREAT HALL-LATER THAT DAY The camera pans over and now it’s just Harry and Hermione sitting in the Great Hall. He’s reading his Advanced Potions book. HERMIONE He’s at perfect liberty to kiss whomever he likes! I really couldn’t care less. She starts to write something furiously on the parchment in front of her. INT. POTIONS CLASS (DAY)/GREAT HALL(AFTERNOON)/CORRIDOR(NIGHT) The camera cuts to them in class and we see a shot of Ron and Lavender. He raises his hand mocking how Hermione always does. Harry looks at this then turns to look at Hermione who gets up and walks out of the room furiously. Now Ron and Harry are sitting in the Great Hall eating dinner and Hermione comes over and throws a pie in Rons face and storms off. The scene cuts again to Harry and Hermione walking down the hallways of Hogwarts. HERMIONE Harry, you need to be careful. HARRY I’m not giving the book back Hermione. HERMIONE I’m not talking about your stupid so-called Prince Harry. I went into the girl’s bathroom just before I came in here and I overheard Romilda Vane talking to some of her friends. They’re all hoping you’re going to take them to Slughorn’s party, and they all seem to have bought Fred and George’s love potions.. I’d just invite someone to go with if I was you. HARRY There isn’t anyone I want to invite. HERMIONE Well just be careful what you drink. INT-MOVING STAIRWAY-SECONDS LATER They start walking up the stairs towards the Common Room. HARRY Hang on, I thought Filch banned anything bought at Weasleys’ Wizard Wheezes? How come these girls are able to bring love potions into school? HERMIONE Fred and George send them disguised as perfumes and cough potions. HARRY So if these girls are getting stuff into the school disguised as something else, why wouldn’t Malfoy have… HERMIONE Oh Harry please, not that again. Secrecy Sensors detect jinxes, curses, and concealment charms. They’re used to find Dark Magic and Dark objects. Love potions aren’t Dark or dangerous… HARRY Easy for you to say… (They stop in front of the Fat Lady) Baubles! FAT LADY Same to you… The portrait swings open they walk into the common room and Romilda Vane looks up at them and turns to grab something from one of her friends and runs up to them. ROMILDA Hi Harry! Fancy a gillywater? Hermione casts an ‘I told you so’ look to Harry. HARRY No thanks; I don’t like it much. ROMILDA Well, take these anyway (She thrusts a box into his hands.) Chocolate Cauldrons, they’ve got firewhisky in them. My gran sent them to me, but I don’t like them. HARRY Oh, thanks a lot. Romilda smiles and walks back to her group of giggling friends HERMIONE Pathetic what some girls would do for a boy. Oh well I’m off to do more things to make Ron jealous. As she walks away Harry casts an “I don’t think I’ll ever understand girls” look and INT-BRIDGE-MIDDAY The scene cuts to shot of Hogwarts covered in snow. Harry standing outside on the bridge with Hedwig and we see him looking at Ginny and Dean playing in the snow together. HARRY Am I being pathetic Hedwig, I mean she’s my best friends sister. How do you think Ron would react? (Hedwig hoots) Yeah you’re right…I mean she’s like a little sister, but there seems to be something…more. (Hedwig hoots and Luna walks up next to him.) LUNA Hiya Harry! HARRY Oh hey Luna, how has your term been going? LUNA Oh it’s been all right. A bit lonely without the D.A. Ginny’s been nice, though and I just ran into Hermione, she seems a bit upset. She said something about that Ron Weasley…. HARRY Yeah, they’ve had a row. LUNA He says very funny things sometimes, doesn’t he? But he can be a bit unkind, I noticed that last year. HARRY I suppose. Hey…Luna…how would you like to come to Slughorn’s party with me? LUNA (shocked) Slughorn’s party? With you? HARRY Yeah. We’re supposed to bring guests, so I thought you might like…I mean just as friends, you know? But if you don’t want to… LUNA Oh, no, I’d love to go with you as friends! Nobody’s ever asked me to a party before, as a friend! HARRY Right, so I’ll meet you in the entrance hall at eight o’ clock then. Luna smiles and skips off and … INT-THE GREAT HALL-EVENING The scene cuts to them in the Great Hall where there are Christmas decorations set up and a few elves singing Christmas songs. RON You’re taking Loony Lovegood! GINNY Don’t call her that Ron! I’m really glad you’re taking her Harry, she’s so excited. (She walks over and sits with Dean and we see a shot of Hermione sitting down by herself at the end of the table. Parvati walks up to them.) PARVATI Hi, Harry. HARRY Hey, you’re staying at Hogwarts then? I heard your parents wanted you to leave. PARVATI I managed to talk them out of it for the time being. (Hermione walks past them.) Oh, hi Hermione! HERMIONE Hi, Parvati! Are you going to Slughorn’s party tonight? PARVATI No invite, you’re going aren’t you? HERMIONE Yes, I’m meeting Cormac McLaggen at eight. (We see a shot of Ron turning around furiously and looking at her.) PARVATI Oh really? Are you going out with him, then? HERMIONE Oh…yes…didn’t you know? PARVATI No! Wow, you like your Quidditch players don’t you? First Krum, then McLaggen… HERMIONE I like really good Quidditch players. (Ron frowns and furiously starts to eat his food) Well I’m off to the library. (She walks off and we see her smile and the scene cuts to… INT. SLUGHORNS PARTY-NIGHT The scene cuts to Slughorns party. There are teachers and students walking around and talking to each other. The camera pans to Harry and Luna walking into the room and Slughorn walks up to them SLUGHORN Harry, mboy! Welcome welcome. I’m glad to see you here! HARRY Yeah, thanks. (He notices Hermione over in the corner.) Oh, sorry sir I have to go see about a friend. (He grabs Luna’s arm and they walk over to Hermione.) Hermione? HERMIONE Harry! Thank goodness, Hi Luna! HARRY What happened to you? HERMIONE Oh, I’ve just escaped…I mean, I’ve just left Cormac. Under the mistletoe… HARRY Serves you right for coming with him. HERMIONE I thought he’d annoy Ron most. He makes Grawp look like a gentleman. Let’s go this way, we’ll be able to see him coming (The three of them walk across the room towards Professor Trelawney.) LUNA Hello Professor. TRELAWNY Good evening, my dear. I haven’t seen you in my classes lately… Harry turns to Hermione as Trelawney talks to Luna HERMIONE Do you see him? HARRY Yeah, as a matter of fact he’s coming this way HERMIONE Oh no! (She ducks down and runs as McLaggen walks up to Harry and Luna.) CORMAC Potter! HARRY What do you want? CORMAC Hermione! (Harry stares at him.) I mean have you seen her? HARRY No (Cormac gives Harry a slight frown and walks away. Harry turns to see Hermione sticking her head out from behind the wall. She mouths 'thank you' and ducsk again. Harry laughs then he turns around to Luna and Trelawney’s conversation.) TRELAWNY Harry Potter! My dear boy! The rumors! The stories! The Chosen One! Of course, I have known for a very long time. Why have you not returned to Divination? HARRY Well…um… (Slughorn walks up to them and Harry for the first time acts as if he’s g lad to see him there) SLUGHORN Harry m’boy are you avoiding me? HARRY Um…no sir… SLUGHORN How are you Sybill? TRELAWNY Just fine thanks, just here wondering why Potter didn’t return to Divination, the subject is very important, especially for him. SLUGHORN We all think our subjects are important…ahhh Severus! Come and join us! (The camera pans to Snape who was talking to another teacher. He turns and walks towards them.) SLUGHORN Have I told you about Harry’s exceptional potion making? Some credit must go to you, of course, you taught him for five years! SNAPE Funny, I never had the impression that I managed to teach Potter anything at all. SLUGHORN Well, it’s natural ability. You should have seen what he gave me, first lesson, Draught of Living Death…not even you managed it on your first attempt Severus. SNAPE Really? (He casts a look at Harry.) SLUGHORN What other subjects are you taking m’boy? HARRY Well…there’s Defense Against the Dark Arts, Charms, Transfiguration… SNAPE All the subjects required, in short for an Auror. HARRY Yeah, well, that’s what I want to do. LUNA I don’t think you should be an Auror Harry. They are a part of the Rotfang Conspiracy. They’re working to bring down the Ministry of Magic from within using a combination of Dark Magic and gum disease. (They all stare at her and we see Filch walk up holding Malfoy by the ear.) FILCH Professor Slughorn, I discovered this boy lurking in an upstairs corridor. He claims to have been invited to your party and to have been delayed in setting out? MALFOY All right, I wasn’t invited! I was trying to gatecrash, happy? FILCH No, I’m not! You’re in trouble, you are! SLUGHORN That’s all right, Argus. It’s Christmas, and it’s not a crime to want to come to a party. We’ll forget any punishment and you may stay, Draco. (Filch gives an angry grunt and storms off.) SNAPE I’d like a word with you, Draco. SLUGHORN Oh, now, Severus it’s Christmas, don’t be too hard… SNAPE I’m his Head of House, and I shall decide how hard, or otherwise, to be. Follow me, Draco. (Snape turns and walks away and Malfoy follows him.) HARRY Um..Luna…I’ll be back in a bit…bathroom. LUNA All right. TRELAWNY So dear, tell me more about this Rotfang Conspiracy… INT-HALLLWAY-NIGHT (MOMENTS LATER) Harry walks out of the room into the dark quite corridor. He pulls out his Invisibility Cloak and throws it over himself. He then walks slowly down the hall and turns to corner and see’s Snape and Draco standing there. SNAPE You cannot afford mistakes, Draco, because if you are expelled… DRACO I didn’t have anything to do with it, all right? SNAPE I hope you are telling the truth, because it was both clumsy and foolish. Already you are suspected of having a hand in it. DRACO Who suspects me? For the last time, I didn’t do it, okay? SNAPE Ah…Aunt Bellatrix has been teaching you Occlumency, I see. What thoughts are you trying to conceal from your master, Draco? DRACO I’m not trying to conceal anything; I just don’t want you butting in! SNAPE Listen to me; I am trying to help you. I made the Unbreakable Vow, Draco… DRACO Looks like you’ll have to break it then, because I don’t need your protection. I’ve got a plan and it’s going to work! SNAPE What is your plan? DRACO It’s none of your business! SNAPE Draco I can assist you… DRACO I’ve got all the assitance I need thanks, I’m not alone! SNAPE You were certainly alone tonight… DRACO I would’ve had Crabbe and Goyle if you hadn’t put them in detention! SNAPE If your friends intend to pass their Defense Against the Dark Arts O.W.L… DRACO What does it matter? It’s all a joke, an act. Like any of us need protecting against the Dark Arts… SNAPE It is an act that is crucial to success Draco! Confide in me and I can… DRACO I know what you’re up to! You want to steal my glory! SNAPE You are speaking like a child! I quite understand that your fathers capture and imprisonment has upset you, but… Draco walks away immediately from Snape. Harry stands very still as he walks by. We see a shot of Snape watching Draco walk away and he returns back to the direction the party. We see a look of shock on Harry’s face and the scene fades… |
Re: Fan Scripts: Script your own version of Harry Potter
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The above is probably a bit too negative. Sorry. Can I just say I'm really happy that someone else is participating in this thread and it is great to see other peoples work. |
Re: Fan Scripts: Script your own version of Harry Potter
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And no worries you're not harsh trust me. It's your opinion and the reason this thread is here is for other fans opinions on your work. I'm glad you're so honest, keep it up! (Just don't make me cry...) Quote:
Oooohhhh you know what I just thought? Maybe I could come up with something that has spiders involved? :scared: Quote:
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And no problems I like this thread because you're really the only other person, besides myself, that has read this script and I'm SO happy to hear what someone else thinks. |
Re: Fan Scripts: Script your own version of Harry Potter
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"There seems to be something more..." (Luna skips dreamily into veiw) Also think of the many times the bridge scene in GoF of Harry and Hermione has been bash because it can perceive a H/Hr relationship. Quote:
I just didn't like those elfs singing... They shoud be paid overtime for that! :lol: Quote:
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Re: Fan Scripts: Script your own version of Harry Potter
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But no overpay for the elves darn it! Fine..I'll have the frogs from POA sing it then :p Quote:
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:p:p kidding |
Re: Fan Scripts: Script your own version of Harry Potter
After that lengthly dicussion of the Party.....
I did this in the last week. It is horrible. I don't know how to fix it, but Iwant to keep it.... Quote:
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Re: Fan Scripts: Script your own version of Harry Potter
Ok.....first things first. Did you REALLY need to have Harry go back to the Dursley's to ask for a ride? You are really packing it on thick if you want this is to be 130 buddy.
That's alot of talking involved on the Weasley's part aswell. I chuckled at the whole 'toilet' thing though. I'd forgetten about that line (I haven't read the 1st book in a WHILE!!) You really are trying your best to stick to cannon though I'll give you that. |
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