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ArryGrotter December 22nd, 2007 9:29 pm

Re: Fan Scripts: Script your own version of Harry Potter
 
Phrozenone, Wow!

Though I can easily tell that it is just a first draft, I love your DH script, especially the parts where we see Ginny, Luna and Neville.

Blast_ended December 23rd, 2007 1:22 pm

Re: Fan Scripts: Script your own version of Harry Potter
 
You can see my script of DH here. It is professionally formated and I worked really hard about it. I'd like to hear feedback.

Enjoy!

MrSleepyHead December 23rd, 2007 5:26 pm

Re: Fan Scripts: Script your own version of Harry Potter
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by IenjoyAcidPops
Why not just show The Unbreakable Vow? Because for me the importance of the scene lies not in the Vow but in telling the reader/viewer that perhaps Snape really can't be trusted. This is even more the case in the films, which have never raised a question of his loyalty - at all. I simply don't feel showing the Vow gets this across enough. I don't think moviegoers (and I hate to just use generalities like that because everyone is different) would mind a five-minute scene like the one I posted.

I must disagree. In my preferred version of the scene, the audience questions Snape's loyalty just as much as the elongated, Bellatrix version. If Narcissa says, "Will you, Severus Snape, fulfill the Dark Lord's wishes if Draco should fail," then the audience begins thinking that Snape is on Voldemort's side. I am also using my version of the scene as the opening scene. If the Bellatrix version is used, it does not make a very intense, intriguing scene (it gets somewhat dull just hearing Snape shoot down Bellatrix's accusations). Also, the audience will have forgotten many of the points Bellatrix brings up: why Snape did not go to Voldemort upon his return (GoF), why Snape stopped Voldemort from getting the Stone (SS/PS), why he did not fight at the Ministry (OotP, and no one saw the faces of the Death Eaters). Overall, this scene requires flashbacks that ruin its mood. Thus, have the audience question Snape's loyalties by simply mention that he will be doing the Dark Lord's wishes.
I also do not think the Unbreakable Vow needs to be specifically named in the scene I drafted because it will be revealed later. If the threads of fire are locking the two hands, then the audience knows that a magical vow is being made.
Quote:

Originally Posted by Phrozenone
The WB logo slowly floats towards the screen out of a sea of dark clouds. As we fly through the logo flashes of light are seen in the distance. The camera slowly moves forward as we see two wizards throwing spells at each other in the distance. We then see ALBUS DUMBLEDORE standing with is wand at the ready with rubble all around him with fire in his eyes. Across the screen we see Fifty (?) years earlier.

DUMBLEDORE
You don’t have to do this Grindewald, please old friend listen to reason!.....

I must admit I like the idea of beginning with the Dumbledore/Grindelwald duel, but it will not work. The audience would be incredibly confused, and by the time they are introduced to Dumbledore and Grindelwald's relationship, they will have forgotten the 1 minute clip they saw at the beginning. It makes a good opening scene, but only if the audience understands why the scene was included soon after. This, however, is not the case. Thus, simply start with The Dark Lord Ascending.
Quote:

Originally Posted by Blast_ended
You can see my script of DH here. It is professionally formated and I worked really hard about it. I'd like to hear feedback.

I do not have time to read much of this, but I scrolled down and immediately saw the Dirk/Ted/Griphook scene. Cut this.

In Dark Lord Ascending, do not mention that Lupin/Tonks have been married: have their wedding be in the stead of Bill and Fleur's (ah - just a typo, I see). Also, Ollivander's appearance is most unexpected. Few will remember who he is, so Voldemort needing information from him will be confusing (the readers of the book understood that Ollivander would tell him about the twin cores - the movie audience will be clueless). Thus, substitute him with somebody else or cut this part.

You spent too long with dialogue between Harry and the Dursleys. It should be quick, and the guard should appear at the same time, with one or two members taking the Dursleys away. Cut the tastiness of Harry's potion (no one remembers it from CoS). Cut the ghoul and Scrimgeour. I would have Mad-Eye give him the bag at the Dursleys or Kingsley/Lupin give him the stuff at the Burrow (the trio will go up to Ron's room and look at the stuff there). Cut Lupin at Grimmauld Place. Perhaps even cut Kreacher's story/locket - have Harry have the locket since his excursion into the cave.

Phrozenone December 26th, 2007 11:28 pm

Re: Fan Scripts: Script your own version of Harry Potter
 
Hope all of you had a wonderful holiday and thanks for all the opinions on my DH script. I really appreciate it and whenever I get more done I'll gladly add more here for more opinions :) Now here's the next section of my HBP script:

INT. HOGWARTS-MOVING STAIRS/FAT LADY CORRIDOR/GRYFFINDOR COMMON ROOM-AFTERNOON

The scene cuts to a shot of Hogwarts and cuts to Ron walking ahead of Harry and Ginny towards the Common Room.

RON
Percy’s such a prick, I mean storming out on mum like that.

HARRY
Well he certainly paid for it, wonder how he got the mashed potatoes in his glasses
(He looks at Ginny and smile. Ron walks up to the Fat Lady.)

RON
Baubles

FAT LADY
No!

RON
What d’you mean no?

FAT LADY
There’s a new password, if u haven’t figured that out already.

RON
But…we don’t know it.

FAT LADY
Not my problem is it!

HERMIONE
(From behind them)
Harry! Ginny!
(They turn around and we see Hermione run into view.)
How are you?

HARRY
Excellent, don’t know the new password, could you…?
(he knobs towards the Fat Lady)

HERMIONE
Oh right, Abstinence!

FAT LADY
Precisely

The portrait swings open and they all walk into the common room. Lavender jumps up just as soon as she see’s Ron.

LAVENDER
WON WON!!!
(She runs up to him and hugs him. Harry and Ginny look at each other and laugh and Hermione rolls her eyes and walks off)
Oh I’ve missed you
(She kisses him continuously on the cheek.)

GINNY
Well I have to go and find Dean, later.

The camera zooms in on Harry’s face as he watches her walk away and the scene slowly fades too to…

EXT. THE BLACK LAKE SHORE-EVENING

Harry sitting outside wrapped in his scarf looking out at the lake still half frozen. We see a dark figure approach from the rear and soon reveals itself as Hermione.

HERMIONE
A knut for your thoughts?

HARRY
Oh hey.

HERMIONE
May I?

HARRY
Sure

She takes a seat beside him.

HARRY
I was just thinking, about this time last year was the last time I really talked to Sirius. Sometimes I…I just wish…we had more time.

HERMIONE
You’ve been handling it pretty well Harry, I don’t think I could’ve shown nearly as much strength as you did this year

HARRY
It’s just…I know Sirius wouldn’t want me to…worry. But it’s just hard, knowing he won’t be writing again.

HERMIONE
But he’s still here Harry. As long as you keep his memory strong, he will always be there.
(He throws a pebble into the lake.)
That’s not the only thing on your mind is it?

HARRY
What makes you think…

HERMIONE
You know Harry, sometimes you have to do what your heart says, it’ll never lead you wrong.

HARRY
What do you….

HERMIONE
Oh nothing

She gives him a slight smile and walks away as Harry looks back off into the distance. He smiles as he realizes that Hermione is talking about Ginny and the scene fades to…

INT. DUMBLEDORE’S OFFICE-NIGHT

DUMBLEDORE
I hear that the Minister of Magic met with you over Christmas.

HARRY
Yeah, he wanted me to tell the Wizarding community that the Ministry’s doing a wonderful job.

DUMBLEDORE
And?

HARRY
Well I said no of course, after everything Fudge has done, after Umbridge!

DUMBLEDORE
Within hours of Scrimgeour’s appointment we met and he demanded that I arrange a meeting with you…

HARRY
I heard you two argued, is that the reason sir?

DUMBLEDORE
Yes, it appears however that Rufus found a way to corner you at last.

HARRY
He accused me of being ‘Dumbledore’s man through and through”

DUMBLEDORE
Really? How very rude of him.

HARRY
I told him I was.

Dumbledore looks up at Harry and smile as he turns and walks towards the Pensieve

DUMBLEDORE
Now the memory I’m about to show you now Harry is very important, pay close attention!

INT. SLUGHORNS CLASS NIGHT (SIXTY YEARS AGO)

There is a flash and now Harry and Dumbledore are standing in a room with a young Slughorn, Tom, and other slytheran students. We see Tom is now wearing the black ring that Gaunt had.

TOM
Sir, is it true that Professor Merrythought is retiring?

SLUGHORN
Tom, if I knew I couldn’t tell you. I must say, I’d like to know where you get your information. Thank you for the pineapple, by the way, it is my favorite.
(The whole room turns into fog and we can only see Dumbledore and Harry and then we hear Slughorns voice.)
You’ll go wrong, boy, mark my words!
(The fog clears and everything reappears and everyone looks as though nothing happened.)
Good gracious, is it time already? You’d better get going, or we’ll all be in trouble. Lestrange, I want your essay by tomorrow or it’s detention. Same for you, Avery.

(All the other students except Tom leaves.)

SLUGHORN
What is it Tom? You don’t want you to be caught out of bed.

TOM
Sir, I wanted to ask you something.

SLUGHORN
Ask away, m’boy!

TOM
I wondered, sir, what you know about…Horcruxes?

(The room fills with fog again and we hear Slughorns voice again boom out.)

SLUGHORN
I don’t know anything about Horcruxes and I wouldn’t tell you if I did! Now get out of here at once and don’t let me catch you mentioning them again!

Dumbledore grabs Harry shoulder and with a flash we see them come out of the Pensieve.

HARRY
Sir, that ring that Voldemort had on…

DUMBLEDORE
Good eye Harry, you see shortly after Morfins realease Tom found him. My theory is he stunned Morfin. He used Morfins wand to kill his father and grandparents and filled Morfin with false memories made him think that he’s done it. He took the ring obviously.

HARRY
There was something odd about Slughorns memory

DUMBLEDORE
Ah yes, as you can tell Harry, that memory has been tampared with.

HARRY
Why would he do that?

DUMBLEDORE
I think he is ashamed of what he remembers. Now Harry, I have a homework assignment for you. It is your job to persuade Professor Slughorn to divulge the real memory, which will undoubtedly be our most crucial piece of information of all. It is most important that we secure the true memory, Harry! So, good luck, and goodnight.

INT-CORRIDOR-DAY

The scene cuts to Hermione and Harry walking towards potions class together

HERMIONE
Horcruxes…I’ve never even heard of them…they must be really advanced Dark Magic, or why would Voldemort have wanted to know about them? It’s going to be difficult to get the information from him Harry, you should think out a strategy.

HARRY
Ron reckons I should just hang back after Potions this afternoon…

HERMIONE
Oh, well, if Won Won thinks that, you’d better do it.

HARRY
Hermione, can’t you just…

HERMIONE
No!

INT. POTIONS CLASS-DAY (MOMENTS LATER)

SLUGHORN
You all are to create an antidote for the poison within it before the end of the lessons. Good luck!

HERMIONE
It’s a shame that the Prince won’t be able to help you much with this, Harry. You have to understand the principles involved this time.
(She starts collecting ingredients.)

RON
You sure the Prince hasn’t got any tips?

HARRY
No

We see Harry turn through the book. The scene cuts showing everyone with potions brewing and Harry still looking through the book. Slughorn is walking around checking cauldrons. The camera zooms in to the book where we see the writing ‘Just shove a bezoar down their throats.’ Harry reads this and jumps up and goes towards the cupboard and rummaged through it. He picks up this little brown ball just as Slughorn yells Times..UP! Now Slughorn is walking around the class examining everyone’s potions

SLUGHORN
Very good, Ms. Granger

HERMIONE
Thank you sir!

SLUGHORN
And what do you have for me, Harry?

HARRY
Oh…um…(He opens his hand and we see the small brown ball in his hand.)

SLUGHORN
You’ve got nerve, boy!
(He grabs it and holds it up for the class to see.)
Oh, you’re like your mother. A bezaor, a stone taken from the stomach of a goat, would certainly act as an antidote to all these potions!

The camera pans to Hermione with a dissappointed look on her face. The scene cuts to the class leaving and Harry walks towards Slughorns desk.

HARRY
Sir, I wanted to ask you something.

SLUGHORN
Ask away!

HARRY
Sir, I was wondering what you know…about Horcruxes?

SLUGHORN
(His face freezes as he stares at Harry.)
What did you say?

HARRY
I asked whether you know anything about Horcruxes, sir. You see…

SLUGHORN
Dumbledore put you up to this.
(He jumps up angrily and walks towards the cupboard.)
Dumbledore’s shown you that….memory, hasn’t he?

HARRY
Well…yes…

SLUGHORN
Well if you’ve seen that memory, Harry, you’ll know that I don’t know anything…ANYTHING…about Horcruxes.

HARRY
Sir, I just thought there might be a bit more to….

SLUGHORN
Did you!
(He grabs his briefcase and starts to walk towards the exit of the class.)
Then you were wrong, weren’t you? WRONG!

He slams the door behind himself and we see a shot of Harry standing in the middle of the class.

INT. CORRIDOR-AFTERNOON (SAME DAY)

The scene cuts to a shot of a sign that says Apparation Lessons and pans back showing a bunch of students standing in front of the sign.

SEAMUS
How cool will it be when we can just (snaps finger) and be anywhere we want to be.

RON
It sounds really cool.

SEAMUS
Longbottom would probably leave his head behind. (HE and Ron laughs)

HARRY
Don’t worry Neville. It’s not as exciting as it sounds.

LAVENDER
Won Won! (She runs up and hugs him.) How are you Wonnie!

HARRY
(He, Neville, and Seamus laugh.)
We’ll see you later.

SEAMUS
Yeah Won, Won!

As they walk down the hall we see Hermione run up behind them.

HERMIONE
Harry! I have something to tell you. Hey Seamus, Neville.

NEVILLE
Hey!

SEAMUS
Hiya Hermione, see ya in class Harry. Come on Neville
(They both exits.)

HARRY
What is it did you find something on Horcruxes?

HERMIONE
That’s exactly it, I can’t find anything on it. I’ve been right through the restricted section and even the most horrible books have nothing. All I could find was this

(She pulls out a piece of parchment.)

It was in the introduction to Magik Moste Evile. Of the Horcrux, wickedest of magical inventions, we shall not speak nor give direction…

HARRY
Well why put in there at all?

INT. THE GREAT HALL-EVENING (SAME DAY)

The scene cuts to the students standing in the Great Hall with no tables. There is a short man named Wilkie Twycross standing there and all the students have hoops in front of them.

TWYCROSS
Now the important things to remember when Apparating are the three D’s. Destination, Determination, Deliberation! Fix your mind firmly upon the desired destination, focus your determination to occupy the visulaized space, and only when I give the command,, turn on the spot, feeling your way into nothingness, moving with deliberation! Now, One, Two, THREE!!

The students all close their eyes and look have a strained look on their face. Nothing happens and Neville faints. They open their eyes and laugh.

TWYCROSS
Lets try this again won’t we…One, Two, THREE!!!!

They close their eyes start spinning and some start falling on the floor. One student lets out of screech of pain as one student is in the hoop while one leg is still on the outside. Twycross waves his wand and theres a puff of purple smoke and the student is back together.

TWYCROSS
That was called Splinching, or the seperation of random body parts occurs when the mind is insufficeintly determined. Now once again, GO!

The students close their eyes and the camera zooms in on Harry. He disappears and reappears in the circle hoop. He opens his eyes and everyone stares at him. Some look in amazement whereas Draco and his friends frown at Harry’s accomplishement.

TWYCROSS
Very good Mr. Potter, very good! Now lets go at it again why won’t we

MALFOY
Always the perfect student huh Potter!

HARRY
Always the struggling Death Eater huh Malfoy.

Everyone in the room gasps and all eyes turn to Harry and Draco.

TWYCROSS
No need for that type of talk here….

MALFOY
Why don’t you prove it Potter!

HARRY
Oh believe me, I will. Then you’ll be sent straight to Azkaban like your dear daddy.

DRACO
(pulls out his wand)
HOW DARE YOU…

HARRY
(pulls out his wand)
Want to have a go?

TWYCROSS
GENTLEMEN PLEASE! Wands away now or I will have to send you to the headmasters.

HARRY
Good, I’m sure Dumbledore will see right through his lies.

DRACO
Keep hiding behind Dumbledore while you can Potter.

HARRY
Oh yeah, lets see you try and do something about it…

HERMIONE
Harry…please!

Harry looks around and decides to be the bigger man and places his wand back into this robes. Draco follows suit.

TWYCROSS
20 points from both Gryffindor and Slytherian. Now, back the lesson…

The scene cuts to…

WendyPotter December 27th, 2007 1:34 am

Re: Fan Scripts: Script your own version of Harry Potter
 
O_o Is there any way I can get this more...cleaned up? Because I'm having a hard time following the scenes ;) Thanx

~WendyPotter

ArryGrotter December 27th, 2007 8:57 am

Re: Fan Scripts: Script your own version of Harry Potter
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by WendyPotter (Post 4879264)
O_o Is there any way I can get this more...cleaned up? Because I'm having a hard time following the scenes ;) Thanx

~WendyPotter

Do you have any Suggestions?

Phrozenone December 28th, 2007 1:20 am

Re: Fan Scripts: Script your own version of Harry Potter
 
INT. BOYS DORMITORY-MORNING

There is a shot of the names moving around the Marauder’s Map and the camera pans back to Harry looking at it as Ron is opening his birthday presents.

RON
Thanks for these Harry!
(He holds up a pair of gloves.)

HARRY
No problem birthday boy.
(Looks back at the map)
Where is Malfoy, he doesn’t seem to be in his bed.

RON
Harry, is Hermione really going out with McLaggen?

HARRY
Dunno, they were at Slughorn’s party together, but I don’t think that went well.

RON
Good, oh wow, see what Mum and Dad got me? Blimey, I think I’ll come of age next year too…
(He notices the box of chocolate cauldrons beside Harry’s bed and picks them up.)
Want one Harry?

HARRY
(Without looking up.)
No thanks…Malfoy’s gone again!

RON
Can’t have done, come on, apparation lessons today.
(He shoves some cauldrons in his mouth.)

HARRY
Yeah I guess
(He taps his wand on the map.) Mischief managed.

INT. GRYFFINDOR COMMON ROOM-MORNING (MOMENTS LATER)

Harry is reading something on the bullentin board as we see Ron come down from the dormitory.

HARRY
Ready? Let’s go, we can still catch breakfast.

RON
I’m not hungry…. Harry, I can’t stand it!

HARRY
You can’t stand what?

RON
I…I can’t stop thinking about her!

HARRY
And that stops you from going to breakfast because….

RON
I don’t think she knows I exist.

HARRY
She keeps snogging you, doesn’t she? I’m sure…

RON
Who are you talking about?

HARRY
Who are you talking about?

RON
Romilda Vane
(He rushes over and sits on the couch with a dazed look on his face.)
I think I love her Harry.

HARRY
(chuckles)
Ok, say that again with a straight face.

RON
(He stands up and walks towards Harry)
I love her, have you seen her hair, and her eyes…

HARRY
Ok Ron jokes over, drop it.

Harry turns around to walk away and Ron shoots a spell at Harry that misses him by inches. Harry turns around quickly and pulls his wand out throws the same nonverbal spell he did earlier on Ron which snatched him up in the air by his legs and has him hanging up side down and the cauldrons drop out of Rons hands.

HARRY
What was that for!

RON
You insulted her, Harry! You said it was a joke.

HARRY
This is insane! What’s got into….
(He looks on the ground and see the box of cauldrons on the floor beneath Ron.)
Where did you get those Chocolate Cauldrons?

RON
They were a birthday present. I offered you one, didn’t I?

HARRY
You just picked them up off the floor!

RON
Let me go Harry!

HARRY
I chucked those out of my trunk when I was looking for the map, they’re the Chocolate Cauldrons Romilda gave me before Christmas, and they’re all spiked with love potion!

RON
Romilda! Harry…do you know her? Can you introduce us?

HARRY
(He laughs)
Yeah I’ll introduce you. I’m going to let you down now, okay?

RON
Ok!
(He is lowered back down to the ground. The portrait opens and Lavender walks in.)

LAVENDER
You’re late Won Won, I’ve got you a birthday…

RON
Leave me alone; Harry’s going to introduce me to Romilda Vance!

He pushes her out the way and walks out. Harry mouths ‘Sorry’ to her and runs out behind Ron.

INT. SLUGHORNS OFFICE-MORNING (MOMENTS LATER)

RON
I can’t see her Harry, is he hiding her?

HARRY
She’s on here way

RON
Really, how do I look?

SLUGHORN
Very handsome, now drink that up, it’s a tonic for the nerves, keep you calm when she arrives, you know.

RON
Bloody Brilliant!
(He starts to drink the tonic.)

HARRY
Thanks Professor

SLUGHORN
Don’t mention it m’boy.

HARRY
You see it’s his birthday sir…

SLUGHORN
Really? Oh well in that case!
(He goes to his cupboard and pulls out this bottle.)
I’ve got one last bottle of this oak matured mead…meant to give this to Dumbledore for Christmas…ah well. Why don’t we open it now and celebrate Mr. Weasley’s birthday!
(Slughorn pours the drinks and hands a glass to each of them.)
Well, a very happy birthday, Rupert

RON
(Stunned)
How do you know…?

HARRY
It’s Ron…
(As he says this Ron goes ahead and chugs the drink.)

SLUGHORN
And may you have many more…

Ron drops the glass and foam start to come out of his mouth. He falls on the ground shaking furiously with his eyes rolling to the back of his head..

HARRY
Ron! Professor! Do something!

SLUGHORN
What…but…

Harry rushes towards the cupboard and starts to throw around bottles. He grabs the bezoar and runs to Ron. He forces his mouth open and throws the bezoar in his mouth. After a few seconds his body stops shaking and he falls off to sleep.

INT. HOSTPITAL WING-AFTERNOON (SAME DAY)

Ron is sleeping in the hospital room turning in his sleep slightly. Ginny, Fred, George, and Harry are all standing around the bed and Hermione is sitting on the opposite bed with tears in her eyes.

FRED
So the poison was in the drink?

HARRY
Yes, Slughorn poured it out…

GEORGE
Do you think he slipped something into Rons drink?

HARRY
Why would Slughorn want to poison Ron?

GEORGE
You don’t think he could have mixed up the glasses by mistake? Meaning to get you?

GINNY
Why would Slughorn want to poison Harry.

FRED
He could be under the Imperius curse.

GINNY
Harry said Slughorn had been planning to give that bottle to Dumbledore for Christmas, so the poisener could’ve been after Dumbledore.

RON
(Stirring in his sleep)
Er…my..nee…

Then he snores again and the scene fades to

EXT. BRIDGE-EVENING (MOMENTS LATER)

Harry and Hagrid walking on the Hogwarts grounds.

HAGRID
How is he?

HARRY
They say he’ll be okay.

HAGRID
I don’ believe this, who’d want ter hurt him? First Katie, now Ron…Terrible, jus’ terrible. All the new securtiy an’ kids are still getting’ hurt…Dumbledore’s worried sick.

HARRY
Doesn’t he have any ideas Hagrid?

HAGRID
No. Wha’ worries me is how long Hogwarts can stay open if kids are bein’ attacked. I mean, it’s always bin a bit of a risk sendin’ a kid ter Hogwarts, underage wizards all locked up together, but attempted murder, tha’s different. S’no wonder Dumbledoer’s angry with Snape.

HARRY
What?

HAGRID
Oh, I should’nt of said that.

HARRY
Hagrid, why is Dumbledore angry with Snape?

HAGRID
Shhhh…well I jus’ heard Snape sayin’ Dumbledore took too much fer granted an’ maybe he…Snape…didn’ wan’ ter do it anymore….

HARRY
Do what?

HAGRID
I dunno Harry, sounded like Snape was feelin’ a bit overworked, that’s all.

Harry looks at Hagrid with a look of concern on his face. Hagrid shrugs and continues to walk as the scene fades to

INT. HOSPITAL WING-NIGHT

Harry is sitting next to Ron in the hospital wing. He is looking in the Mauraders Map once again trying to find what Draco is up too.

HARRY
Gone again.

RON
Harry I think you’re going a little overboard with this Malfoy thing.

HARRY
He’s up to something, and I’m going to catch him at it! I’m gonna find out what he’s up too.

RON
Harry…

HARRY
Don’t tell me it’s all in my head either, I overheard what Snape said to him…

RON
Yeah I know Harry, but, you’re just becoming a little obsessed over this thing.

HARRY
Obsessed? He just keeps disappearing off of the map, where do you think he’s going?

RON
Hogsmeade maybe, I don’t know.

HARRY
If only I had some way…wait a minute.

RON
What?

HARRY
I think I have a way to get Malfoy followed.
(He pulls out his wand and points it at the door.)
Don’t want Madam Pomfrey to overhear me. Mufflialto!

RON
What are you….

HARRY
Kreacher!

In the middle of the room Kreacher and Dobby apparate and they’re both fighting each other.

DOBBY
Kreacher will not insult Harry Potter in front of Dobby!!!

KREACHER
Kreacher will say what he likes about master, filthy friend of Mudbloods, what would poor Kreachers mistress…

Dobby punches him in his mouth and Kreacher lets out a scream and starts clawing at Dobby. Ron and Harry jump out of the bed and tries to pull them apart. They continue to kick and swing at each other as they pulled apart.

HARRY
I forbid you to fight each other!

They both stop and stare at each other.

HARRY
Dobby…what are you doing here?

DOBBY
Greetings Harry Potter sir! Dumbledore hired Dobby to work in the kitchens with the other house elves sir! Shortly after Harry Potter freed Dobby from the evil Malfoys!

RON
Just what we need…

HARRY
Now, Kreacher I’ve got a job for you.

KREACHER
Kreacher will do whatever Master wants, because Kreacher has no choice, but Kreacher is ashamed to have such a master, yes…

DOBBY
Dobby will do it, Harry Potter! Dobby would be honored.

HARRY
It would be good to have both of you now that I think of it. I want you to tail Draco Malfoy.

RON
What!

HARRY
I want to know where he’s going, who he’s meeting, and what he’s doing. I want you to follow him around the clock.

DOBBY
Yes, Harry Potter!

KREACHER
Master wants me to spy upon the pure-blood great-nephew of my old mistress?

HARRY
Yeah and you’re forbidden to tip him off, or to show him what you’re up to, or to talk to him at all, or to write him messages or…or to contact him in any way. Got it?

KREACHER
Master thinks of everything, and Kreacher must obey him even though Kreacher would much rather be the servant of the Malfoy boy, oh yes…

HARRY
That’s settled then.

Kreacher and Dobby both snap their fingers and disappear.

RON
Harry, what the…

HARRY
I don’t want to hear it Ron ok.

WendyPotter December 28th, 2007 3:28 am

Re: Fan Scripts: Script your own version of Harry Potter
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by ArryGrotter (Post 4879667)
Do you have any Suggestions?

No, not really.:shrug: Im new here you see. I've been a member for a while, but just became an active one yesterday. Is Phrozenone doing Half-Blood Prince? If yes, please tell me the page where the script starts. What year are you doing, ArryGrotter?

~WendyPotter:rave:

ArryGrotter December 28th, 2007 5:07 am

Re: Fan Scripts: Script your own version of Harry Potter
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by WendyPotter (Post 4880570)
No, not really.:shrug: Im new here you see. I've been a member for a while, but just became an active one yesterday. Is Phrozenone doing Half-Blood Prince? If yes, please tell me the page where the script starts. What year are you doing, ArryGrotter?

~WendyPotter:rave:

Phrozenone (HBP) started on page 1, near the bottom (Post 19)

I am doing PS/SS. I resarted on Post 6 (Page 1). What is there is not final. I keep everything I have done, updated (As much as possible) at this link. I've also done some of CoS, PoA, GoF, OotP and DH, which you can find scattered in the thread.

Phrozenone, I'm a bit busy with the new year and haven't had time to read your new posts. I'll probably catch up in 08

SoulOfRebirth December 30th, 2007 11:54 am

Re: Fan Scripts: Script your own version of Harry Potter
 
Quote:

Is there any way I can get this more...cleaned up?
Quote:

Do you have any Suggestions?
Perhaps put the scripts in [/quote] tags? That might neaten things a bit.

On a somewhat unrelated note: I've been thinking about whether or not it's possible that all seven books could be adapted into a trilogy. Anyone ever thought about that, or am I alone?

ArryGrotter January 3rd, 2008 6:11 am

Re: Fan Scripts: Script your own version of Harry Potter
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by Phrozenone (Post 4879176)
Hope all of you had a wonderful holiday and thanks for all the opinions on my DH script. I really appreciate it and whenever I get more done I'll gladly add more here for more opinions :) Now here's the next section of my HBP script:

I'm so sorry I hadn't got to this earlier. New Year's, you know. And every time I think I have thime I come on to CoS and then discover I don't. Oh well...

Quote:

Originally Posted by Phrozenone (Post 4879176)
HERMIONE
Oh right, Abstinence!

Hmm, that's a bit risque to keep it in...

Quote:

Originally Posted by Phrozenone (Post 4879176)
GINNY
Well I have to go and find Dean, later.

The camera zooms in on Harry’s face as he watches her walk away and the scene slowly fades too to…

EXT. THE BLACK LAKE SHORE-EVENING

Harry sitting outside wrapped in his scarf looking out at the lake still half frozen. We see a dark figure approach from the rear and soon reveals itself as Hermione.

HERMIONE
A knut for your thoughts?

HARRY
Oh hey.

HERMIONE
May I?

HARRY
Sure

She takes a seat beside him.

HARRY
I was just thinking, about this time last year was the last time I really talked to Sirius. Sometimes I…I just wish…we had more time.

HERMIONE
You’ve been handling it pretty well Harry, I don’t think I could’ve shown nearly as much strength as you did this year

HARRY
It’s just…I know Sirius wouldn’t want me to…worry. But it’s just hard, knowing he won’t be writing again.

HERMIONE
But he’s still here Harry. As long as you keep his memory strong, he will always be there.
(He throws a pebble into the lake.)
That’s not the only thing on your mind is it?

HARRY
What makes you think…

HERMIONE
You know Harry, sometimes you have to do what your heart says, it’ll never lead you wrong.

HARRY
What do you….

HERMIONE
Oh nothing

She gives him a slight smile and walks away as Harry looks back off into the distance. He smiles as he realizes that Hermione is talking about Ginny and the scene fades to…

I hate this. I'm sorry. I find it useless, and uncanon, and... why are you bringing up Sirius? I mean he's not really important to HBP at all.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Phrozenone (Post 4879176)
HARRY
He accused me of being ‘Dumbledore’s man through and through”

DUMBLEDORE
Really? How very rude of him.

HARRY
I told him I was.

Dumbledore looks up at Harry and smile as he turns and walks towards the Pensieve

That just doesn't seem as powerful as I always it in the book. Dumbledore cries, doesn't he? And Fawkes sings. I'd find that scene much powerful if there was a tear down Dumbledore's face.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Phrozenone (Post 4879176)
DUMBLEDORE
Now the memory I’m about to show you now Harry is very important, pay close attention!

And know after writing that annd reading this I remember you are writing for Gambon!Dumbledore. :lol:

Quote:

Originally Posted by Phrozenone (Post 4879176)
TOM
I wondered, sir, what you know about…Horcruxes?

Quote:

Originally Posted by Phrozenone (Post 4879176)
HARRY
Sir, I was wondering what you know…about Horcruxes?

What I liked about in the book was the Tom and Harry siad exactly the same phrase to Slughorn (They even paused in the same place and both repeated the word 'about') and to change something that little in a script would be ...... wrong.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Phrozenone (Post 4879176)
MALFOY
Always the perfect student huh Potter!

HARRY
Always the struggling Death Eater huh Malfoy.

Everyone in the room gasps and all eyes turn to Harry and Draco.

TWYCROSS
No need for that type of talk here….

MALFOY
Why don’t you prove it Potter!

HARRY
Oh believe me, I will. Then you’ll be sent straight to Azkaban like your dear daddy.

DRACO
(pulls out his wand)
HOW DARE YOU…

HARRY
(pulls out his wand)
Want to have a go?

TWYCROSS
GENTLEMEN PLEASE! Wands away now or I will have to send you to the headmasters.

HARRY
Good, I’m sure Dumbledore will see right through his lies.

DRACO
Keep hiding behind Dumbledore while you can Potter.

HARRY
Oh yeah, lets see you try and do something about it…

HERMIONE
Harry…please!

Harry looks around and decides to be the bigger man and places his wand back into this robes. Draco follows suit.

TWYCROSS
20 points from both Gryffindor and Slytherian. Now, back the lesson…

O....K..... WT-?

Quote:

Originally Posted by Phrozenone (Post 4880423)
Well, a very happy birthday, Rupert

RON
(Stunned)
How do you know…?

HARRY
It’s Ron…

:lol: I don't think that should be in the movie though...

Quote:

Originally Posted by Phrozenone (Post 4880423)
RON
(Stirring in his sleep)
Er…my..nee…

:love:Ohhhh!

Quote:

Originally Posted by Phrozenone (Post 4880423)
EXT. BRIDGE-EVENING (MOMENTS LATER)

Harry and Hagrid walking on the Hogwarts grounds.

HAGRID
How is he?

HARRY
They say he’ll be okay.

HAGRID
I don’ believe this, who’d want ter hurt him? First Katie, now Ron…Terrible, jus’ terrible. All the new securtiy an’ kids are still getting’ hurt…Dumbledore’s worried sick.

HARRY
Doesn’t he have any ideas Hagrid?

HAGRID
No. Wha’ worries me is how long Hogwarts can stay open if kids are bein’ attacked. I mean, it’s always bin a bit of a risk sendin’ a kid ter Hogwarts, underage wizards all locked up together, but attempted murder, tha’s different. S’no wonder Dumbledoer’s angry with Snape.

HARRY
What?

HAGRID
Oh, I should’nt of said that.

HARRY
Hagrid, why is Dumbledore angry with Snape?

HAGRID
Shhhh…well I jus’ heard Snape sayin’ Dumbledore took too much fer granted an’ maybe he…Snape…didn’ wan’ ter do it anymore….

HARRY
Do what?

HAGRID
I dunno Harry, sounded like Snape was feelin’ a bit overworked, that’s all.

Harry looks at Hagrid with a look of concern on his face. Hagrid shrugs and continues to walk as the scene fades to

I don't think there is enough importance on this scene, but then again there wasn't much in the book. Hmmm....

I think this scene needs reworking.

Quote:

DOBBY
Greetings Harry Potter sir! Dumbledore hired Dobby to work in the kitchens with the other house elves sir! Shortly after Harry Potter freed Dobby from the evil Malfoys!
See WB, its that easy to reintroduce Dobby!

You cut Quidditch? What else have you cut? It's hard to figure it out becasue it seems like everything is there.

Quote:

Originally Posted by SoulOfRebirth (Post 4883503)
Perhaps put the scripts in

tags? That might neaten things a bit.[/quote]

I made a post a while ago when I was trying to make the posts shorter in lengths by using tags:

Quote:

Originally Posted by ArryGrotter (Post 4799244)
I was searching the FAQs to find something useful and found these. They are really helpful at shortening the thread, yet keeping everything there, I suggest you use them.

Quote:

Collapsible Box:
Will put your content in an expandable/collapsable container with the caption at the top of the container.
Usage: (expand=Option)value(/expand)
NB: Change () to []
Example Usage: (expand=caption)content(/expand)
NB: Change () to []
Example Output:
caption:    


  content  



Fieldset :
Usage: (fieldset=Option)value(/fieldset)
NB: Change () to []
Example Usage: (fieldset=Harry Potter)This book rocks!(/fieldset)
NB: Change () to []
Example Output:
Harry PotterThis book rocks!


Yeah, so I suppose it would be good if thouse posting scripts could put [expand] and [fieldset] tags on, if not [quote] tags.

Quote:

Originally Posted by SoulOfRebirth (Post 4883503)
On a somewhat unrelated note: I've been thinking about whether or not it's possible that all seven books could be adapted into a trilogy. Anyone ever thought about that, or am I alone?

That would be HARD and there would be a lot omitted (and a lot of fans would hate it).

I once thought of one movie out of the seven when all the events happen alongside each other. (i.e. The same time Harry gets his letter, Dobby warns him of Hogwarts, Aunt Marge balloons, the Dark Mark is set, Demtors attack, Dumbledore visits Harry and seven Potters leave Privet Drive):whistle:
But of course that would be awful and NEVER work

Here's the latest edit of 'The Journey from Platform Nine and Three Quarters:    


  
PS: The Journey from Platform Nine and Three QuartersINT. KING’S CROSS STATION - LATE MORNING
(1/9/1991)

On one platform is a big plastic ‘9’ and on the platform next to it is a big plastic ‘10’. Vernon smiles evilly.

VERNON DURSLEY
Well, there you are, boy. Platform nine - platform ten. Your platform should be somewhere in the middle, but they don't seem to have built it yet.

The Dursley’s depart.

VERNON DURSLEY (CONT’D)
Have a good term.

Vernon and Dudley start laughing at once. Petunia on the other hand, looks at the barrier between the two platforms for a few seconds then begins to laugh like her husband and son.

Harry is alone with a trolley carrying his trunk and his pet owl, Hedwig. Just when he begins to become worried, he hears a voice.

MOLLY WEASLEY
...packed with Muggles of course...

Harry miraculously sees a woman (MOLLY WEASLEY) and her 10-year-old daughter (GINNY WEASLEY) followed by four boys (RON WEASLEY, FRED WEASLEY, GEORGE WEASLEY and PERCY WEASLEY), each pushing a trunk like Harry and the eldest (Percy) also storing an owl. Ginny points to a solid brick wall.

GINNY WEASLEY
Platform nine and three-quarters! Mum, can't I go...
MOLLY WEASLEY
You're not old enough, Ginny, now be quiet. All right, Percy, you go first.

Percy comes forward, making his way to the solid brick wall between platforms 9 and 10. A group of tourists come passed blocking Harry’s view. When they leave, Percy has vanished.

MOLLY WEASLEY (CONT’D)
Fred, George, you next.

Fred and George run towards the wall ... and disappear.

HARRY POTTER
Excuse me.

Molly turns to Harry.

MOLLY WEASLEY
Hello, dear. First time at Hogwarts? Ron's new, too.

She points to the last and youngest of her sons.

HARRY POTTER
Yes. The thing is - I don't know how to -

He points to the brick wall.

MOLLY WEASLEY
Not to worry. All you have to do is walk straight at the barrier between platforms nine and ten. Best do it at a bit of a run if you're nervous. Go on, go now before Ron.

HARRY POTTER
Er - okay.

Harry starts to push his trolley forward and gulps. Closer and closer the brick wall comes. Then...

INT. PLATFORM NINE AND THREE QUARTERS - LATE MORNING
(1/9/1991)

...he falls through, and he finds himself on a platform packed with people.
‘Hogwarts Express, eleven o’clock’ reads a sign overhead. Behind him is an archway, the words ‘Platform Nine and Three-Quarters’ etched into it.
Taking his trunk, Harry passes owls, cats and wizards, trying find an empty compartment.

NEVILLE LONGBOTTOM
Gran, I've lost my toad again.

AUGUSTA LONGBOTTOM
Oh, Neville.

Harry finds an empty carriage and tries to lift through the carriage door. It drops onto his foot.

GEORGE WEASLEY
Want a hand?

Fred and George Weasley spot Harry’s trouble.

HARRY POTTER
Yes, please.

Together the three of them...

INT. HOGWARTS EXPRESS COMPARTMENT - LATE MORNING
(1/9/1991)

...get the trunk into Harry’s compartment. Subconsciously, Harry sweeps his hair of his forehead with his hand, revealing the scar on his forehead.

FRED WEASLEY
What’s that?

GEORGE WEASLEY
Blimey, are you?

FRED WEASLEY
He is. Aren’t you?

HARRY POTTER
What?

FRED WEASLEY / GEORGE WEASLEY
Harry Potter!

HARRY POTTER
Oh - Yes - I am.

They both stare at Harry.

MOLLY WEASLEY (O.S.)
Fred? George? Are you there?

With one last look at Harry, the twins leave.

Harry positions himself so he can see what is happening down at the station.

MOLLY WEASLEY (O.S.) (CONT’D)
Ron, you've got something on your nose.

INT. PLATFORM NINE AND THREE QUARTERS - LATE MORNING
(CONTINUOUS ACTION) (1/9/1991)

Ron jerks away as Molly rubs the end of his nose with her handkerchief, then turns to Percy who is just about to leave for the front carriage.

MOLLY WEASLEY
Well, have a good term and send me an owl when you get there.

She kisses him on the cheek and he departs. She then turns on the twins.

MOLLY WEASLEY (CONT’D)
Now, you two. If I get one more owl telling me you've - you've blown up a toilet or -

FRED WEASLEY
Blown up a toilet? We've never blown up a toilet.

GEORGE WEASLEY
Great idea though, Mum.

MOLLY WEASLEY
It's not funny. And look after Ron.

FRED WEASLEY
Don't worry, ickle Ronniekins is safe with us.

RON WEASLEY
Shut up.

GEORGE WEASLEY
Hey Mum, guess what!

INT. HOGWARTS EXPRESS COMPARTMENT - LATE MORNING
(CONTINUOUS ACTION) (1/9/1991)

Harry leans back so they can’t notice him looking.

GEORGE WEASLEY (O.S.)
Guess who we just met on the train?

INT. PLATFORM NINE AND THREE QUARTERS - LATE MORNING
(CONTINUOUS ACTION) (1/9/1991)
FRED WEASLEY
You know that black-haired boy who was near us in the station?

MOLLY WEASLEY
Who?

FRED WEASLEY
Harry Potter!

Ginny suddenly becomes excited.

GINNY WEASLEY
Oh, Mum, can I go on the train and see him, Mum, oh please...

MOLLY WEASLEY
You've already seen him, Ginny, and the poor boy isn't something you goggle at in a zoo. How do you know, Fred?

FRED WEASLEY
Asked him. Saw his scar. It's really there - like lightning.

MOLLY WEASLEY
Poor dear - no wonder he was alone.

FRED WEASLEY
Do you think he remembers what You-Know-Who looks like?

MOLLY WEASLEY
I forbid you to ask him, Fred. As though he needs reminding of that on his first day at school.

FRED WEASLEY
All right, keep your hair on.

A whistle sounds. Molly kisses each of them. Ginny starts to cry.

FRED WEASLEY (CONT’D)
Don't, Ginny, we'll send you loads of owls.

GEORGE WEASLEY
We'll send you a Hogwarts toilet seat.

MOLLY WEASLEY
George!

GEORGE WEASLEY
Only joking, Mum.

The train starts to move. The door shuts and Ginny starts to run after the train.

INT. HOGWARTS EXPRESS COMPARTMENT - LATE MORNING
(CONTINUOUS ACTION) (1/9/1991)

Harry watches Ginny and Molly disappear as the train turns the corner.
The compartment door opens. Ron Weasley appears.

RON WEASLEY
Anyone sitting there? Everywhere else is full.

Harry shakes his head and Ron sits down. Harry returns to looking at the window, but Ron starts to stare at Harry.

RON WEASLEY (CONT’D)
(Suddenly)
Are you really Harry Potter?

Harry nods.

RON WEASLEY (CONT’D)
Oh - well, I thought it might be one of Fred and George's jokes.
(Pause)
And have you really got - you know...

Ron points to his forehead. Harry reveals his scar.

RON WEASLEY (CONT’D)
So that's where You-Know-Who -

HARRY POTTER
Yes, but I can't remember it.

RON WEASLEY
Nothing?

HARRY POTTER
Well - I remember a lot of green light,
(For a second, the screen fills with green light.)
but nothing else.

RON WEASLEY
Wow.

Ron starts to stare at Harry again, but then quickly looks out the window.

HARRY POTTER
Are all your family wizards?

RON WEASLEY
Er - Yes, I think so.

HARRY POTTER
Wish I'd had three wizard brothers.

RON WEASLEY
(Gloomy)
Five. I'm the sixth in our family to go to Hogwarts. Bill and Charlie have already left - Bill was head boy and Charlie was captain of Quidditch. Now Percy's a prefect. Fred and George mess around a lot, but they still get really good marks and everyone thinks they're really funny. Everyone expects me to do as well as the others, but if I do, it's no big deal, because they did it first. You never get anything new, either. I've got Bill's old robes, Charlie's old wand, and Percy's old rat.

Out of his jacket he pulls out a beaten-up, fat, grey rat (Scabbers).

RON WEASLEY (CONT’D)
His name's Scabbers and he's useless, he hardly ever wakes up.

HARRY POTTER
You must know loads of magic already. I've got loads to learn ... I bet. I bet I'm the worst in the class.

RON WEASLEY
You won't be. There's loads of people who come from Muggle families and they learn quick enough.

A smiling, dimpled woman emerges at the doorway, pushing a food trolley.

FOOD TROLLEY LADY
Anything off the trolley, dears?

Harry leaps up, but Ron mutters something about sandwiches. Looking around, Harry is surprised and confused.

THE TROLLEY

The trolley is fulled with Bettie Bott's Every Flavor Beans, Drooble's Best Blowing Gum, Chocolate Frogs. Pumpkin Pasties, Cauldron Cakes and Licorice Wands.

A LITTLE LATER (MIDDAY)

Harry and Ron eat their way through what looks like the whole trolley. Ron’s sandwiches lay forgotten.

HARRY POTTER
What are these?

He holds up a packet of Chocolate Frogs.

HARRY POTTER (CONT’D)
They're not really frogs, are they?

RON WEASLEY
No. But see what the card is. I'm missing Agrippa. Chocolate Frogs have cards, inside them to collect - famous witches and wizards. I've got about five hundred, but I haven't got Agrippa or Ptolemy.

While he talks Harry unwraps his Chocolate Frog and takes out his card, ‘Albus Dumbledore’, which shows Dumbledore’s name and picture.

HARRY POTTER
So this is Dumbledore!

RON WEASLEY
Don't tell me you'd never heard of Dumbledore!

Harry turns it over and reads the back to himself.

HARRY POTTER
Albus Dumbledore. Currently Headmaster of Hogwarts. Considered by many the greatest wizard of modern times, Dumbledore is particularly famous for his defeat of the dark wizard Grindelwald in 1945, for the discovery of the twelve uses of dragon's blood, and his work on alchemy with his partner, Nicolas Flamel.

Harry turns the card back over. Dumbledore is no longer in frame.

HARRY POTTER (CONT’D)
He’s gone!

RON WEASLEY
Well, you can't expect him to hang around all day. He'll be back.

Harry notices Dumbledore comes back, smiling.

HARRY POTTER
You know, the Muggle world, people just stay put in photos.

RON WEASLEY
Do they? What, they don't move at all? Weird!

Knock, knock. Neville Longbottom appears at the door.

NEVILLE LONGBOTTOM
Sorry, but have you seen a toad at all?

Harry and Ron shake their heads.

NEVILLE LONGBOTTOM (CONT’D)
Yes. Well, if you see him...

Neville leaves.

RON WEASLEY
Don't know why he's so bothered. If I'd brought a toad I'd lose it as quick as I could. Mind you, I brought Scabbers, so I can't talk.
(They both look at Scabbers)
I tried to turn him yellow yesterday, but the spell didn't work. I'll show you, look...

He takes out his wand and Harry notices it is chipped in many places and that a bright white hair is almost sticking out.

Neville appears at the door again, but this time with someone else, a bushy-haired someone who is already wearing her Hogwarts robes (HERMIONE GRANGER).

HERMIONE GRANGER
Has anyone seen a toad? Neville's lost one.

RON WEASLEY
We've already told him we haven't seen it.

Hermione notices Ron’s wand.

HERMIONE GRANGER
Oh, are you doing magic? Let's see it, then.

She sits down.

RON WEASLEY
Er - Sunshine, daisies, butter mellow, Turn this stupid, fat rat yellow.
He waves his wand and nothing happens.

HERMIONE GRANGER
(Speaking fast)
Are you sure that's a real spell? Well, it's not very good, is it? I've tried a few simple spells just for practice and it's all worked for me. Nobody in my family's magic at all, it was ever such a surprise when I got my letter, it's the very best school of witchcraft there is, I've heard - I've learned all our course books by heart, of course, I just hope it will be enough - I'm Hermione Granger, by the way, who are you.

Harry and Ron both look, stunned, at each other.

RON WEASLEY
I’m Ron Weasley.

HARRY POTTER
Harry Potter.

HERMIONE GRANGER
Are you really? I know all about you, of course - I got a few extra books for background reading, and you're in Modern Magical History and The Rise and Fall of the Dark Arts and Great Wizarding Events of the Twentieth Century.

HARRY POTTER
Am I?

HERMIONE GRANGER
Goodness, didn't you know, I'd have found out everything I could if it was me. Do either of you know what house you'll be in? I've been asking around, and I hope I'm in Gryffindor, but I suppose Ravenclaw wouldn't be too bad ... Anyway, we'd better go and look for Neville's toad.

She and Neville leave.

RON WEASLEY
Whatever house I'm in, I hope she's not in it. Stupid spell.

HARRY POTTER
What house are your brothers in?

RON WEASLEY
Gryffindor. Mum and Dad were in it too. I don't know what they'll say if I'm not. I don't suppose Ravenclaw would be too bad, but imagine if they put me in Slytherin.

HARRY POTTER
That's the house Voldemort was in?

Ron gasps.

HARRY POTTER (CONT’D)
What?

RON WEASLEY
You said You-Know-Who's name! I'd have thought you, of all people -

HARRY POTTER
I'm not trying to be brave or anything, saying the name, I just never knew you shouldn't.

Pause.

HARRY POTTER (CONT’D)
So what do your oldest brothers do now that they've left Hogwarts, anyway?

RON WEASLEY
Charlie's in Romania studying dragons, and Bill's in Africa doing something for Gringotts. Did you hear about Gringotts? It's been all over the Daily Prophet. Someone tried to rob a high security vault.

HARRY POTTER
Really? What happened to them?

RON WEASLEY
Nothing, that's why it's such big news. They haven't been caught. Everyone gets scared when something like this happens in case You-Know-Who's behind it.

Harry takes this in.

LATE AFTERNOON/EVENING

Three people appear at the doorway (DRACO MALFOY, VINCENT CRABBE and GREGORY GOYLE)

DRACO MALFOY
Is it true? They're saying all down the train that Harry Potter's in this compartment.

Draco looks to Harry, who looks to Crabbe and Goyle who look large enough to be bodyguards.

DRACO MALFOY (CONT’D)
Oh, this is Crabbe and this is Goyle. And my name's Malfoy, Draco Malfoy.

Ron makes a cough to hide a s******.

DRACO MALFOY (CONT’D)
Think my name's funny, do you? No need to ask who you are. My father told me all the Weasleys have red hair, freckles, and more children than they can afford.

He turns back to Harry.

DRACO MALFOY (CONT’D)
You'll soon find out some wizarding families are much better than others, Potter. You don't want to go making friends with the wrong sort. I can help you there.

He holds out his hand, but Harry doesn’t take it.

HARRY POTTER
I think I can tell who the wrong sort are for myself, thanks.

Malfoy steps back, withdrawing his hand.

DRACO MALFOY
I'd be careful if I were you, Potter. Unless you're a bit politer you'll go the same way as your parents.

HARRY POTTER
Why don't you leave now?
(He glances at Crabbe and Goyle, much larger than him and Ron)

DRACO MALFOY
But we don't feet like leaving, do we, boys? We've eaten all our food and you still seem to have some.

Goyle reaches for a Chocolate Frog, but he gives a horrible yell.

Scabbers sways from Goyle’s finger. He has bitten him. Goyle throw Scabbers across the room and he, Malfoy and Crabbe leave.

Ron picks Scabbers up.

RON WEASLEY
I think he's been knocked out. No - I don't believe it - he's gone back to sleep -

Footsteps are heard in the corridor.

HERMIONE GRANGER
What has been going on?

Hermione Granger appears again.

RON WEASLEY
Can we help you with something?

HERMIONE GRANGER
You haven't been fighting, have you? You'll be in trouble before we even get there!

RON WEASLEY
Scabbers has been fighting, not us. Would you mind leaving now?

HERMIONE GRANGER
All right - I only came in here because people outside are behaving very childishly, racing up and down the corridors.
(Beat)
And you've got dirt on your nose, by the way, did you know?

She leaves.

EXT. HOGSMEADE STATION - EVENING
(1/9/1991)

The Hogwarts Express starts to slow down and finally reaches the station. Students, all in their robes, are exiting excitedly. Hagrid calls over them, carrying a lamp.

RUBEUS HAGRID
Firs' years! Firs' years over here! All right there, Harry?

Harry makes his way forward with Ron.

RUBEUS HAGRID (CONT’D)
C'mon, follow me - any more firs' years? Mind yer step, now! Firs' years follow me!
  


Phrozenone January 3rd, 2008 8:40 am

Re: Fan Scripts: Script your own version of Harry Potter
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by ArryGrotter (Post 4887964)
I'm so sorry I hadn't got to this earlier. New Year's, you know. And every time I think I have thime I come on to CoS and then discover I don't. Oh well...

Understandable and Happy New Year ArryGrotter!!!

Quote:

Hmm, that's a bit risque to keep it in...
That's what I like about it. We go from that to Lavender jumping on Ron..I thought it was funny.

Quote:

I hate this. I'm sorry. I find it useless, and uncanon, and... why are you bringing up Sirius? I mean he's not really important to HBP at all.
I dunno..I remember when I first read the book I was wondering why Harry never seemed to acknowledge Sirius much and I felt there should be some point that he mentioned him. Would I include this scene NOW of course not..but it being useless and uncanon hasn't stopped the filmakers before has it? :p

Quote:

That just doesn't seem as powerful as I always it in the book. Dumbledore cries, doesn't he? And Fawkes sings. I'd find that scene much powerful if there was a tear down Dumbledore's face.
His eyes get watery but I think a simple smile will do the trick. Then again scripts always change and if the director wants tears then there will be tears lol

Quote:

What I liked about in the book was the Tom and Harry siad exactly the same phrase to Slughorn (They even paused in the same place and both repeated the word 'about') and to change something that little in a script would be ...... wrong.
Honestly I never noticed I did that. Very odd indeed great catch lol..I thought I had them saying the same thing. How silly of me *walks away in shame*

Quote:

And know after writing that annd reading this I remember you are writing for Gambon!Dumbledore. :lol:
:lol::lol::lol:

Quote:

O....K..... W H - ?
:lol::lol::lol::lol:

I guess that means you want an explanation. When I decided to write this script I wanted a sort of beginning, middle, and end for Harry and Draco's arguments. This scene is of course the middle. My thing is Malfoy is so in the background people would forget he's even doing anything and I thought it'll be such a Harry thing to do and call him out on it. Of course we know that everyone thinks Harry is just being overly paranoid and this adds on to it. Plus it was the only way I could keep apparation in by putting something important there :lol: I dunno I like it actually.

Quote:

:lol:I don't think that should be in the movie though...
You know what's funny? To this day I can't find that part where Slughorn calls Ron Rupert so I just stuck it here. Why should it not be in the movie? It'll get a laugh atleast :lol:

Quote:

I don't think there is enough importance on this scene, but then again there wasn't much in the book. Hmmm....

I think this scene needs reworking.
Yeah I didn't know what to do with that scene. Hermione was orginally there but she had..what...one line? So I cut her out. The scene plays out just like it does in the book though so iunno

Quote:

See WB, its that easy to reintroduce Dobby!

You cut Quidditch? What else have you cut? It's hard to figure it out becasue it seems like everything is there.
Yep introducing Dobby is easy! lol

I cut alot I think but I kept alot in by merely moving things together. If you've noticed a majority of Dumbledore's speeches have been cut down alot. I cut Fluer, one of he memories, Quidditch, alot of the classroom scenes (Although dialogue from some scenes have been saved), and who knows what else lol. It's been ages since I've read that book but it's time for me to do it again if I want to do a new script.

Thanks for the suggestion on how to make the posts more orderly. You know I never saw that post by you lol I would've been using it more if I did :cool:

ArryGrotter January 3rd, 2008 11:02 pm

Re: Fan Scripts: Script your own version of Harry Potter
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by Phrozenone (Post 4888058)
Understandable and Happy New Year ArryGrotter!!!

Same to you!

Quote:

Originally Posted by Phrozenone (Post 4888058)
That's what I like about it. We go from that to Lavender jumping on Ron..I thought it was funny.

It wasn't until my... Probably my 4 or 5th read that I understood 1)What the password meant and 2) Who set it, and if haven't figured out two (and I think that's the most important part) then forgive my coughing: *coughprefectscoughcoughHermione'saprefectcoughcou ghbutnotinthemoivecoughcoughsoifyoudoaddthatmakesu reyoumakeHermioneprefectcough*

Quote:

Originally Posted by Phrozenone (Post 4888058)
I dunno..I remember when I first read the book I was wondering why Harry never seemed to acknowledge Sirius much and I felt there should be some point that he mentioned him. Would I include this scene NOW of course not..but it being useless and uncanon hasn't stopped the filmakers before has it? :p

I'm fine with some of the non-canon (the word I was looking for) stuff in the movie as long as it reflects the book. I just on't feel this reflects the book.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Phrozenone (Post 4888058)
You know what's funny? To this day I can't find that part where Slughorn calls Ron Rupert so I just stuck it here. Why should it not be in the movie? It'll get a laugh atleast :lol:

It's in After the Burial somewhere. It's right after the burial of Aragog.

Quote:

“I have had it all tested for poison,” he assured Harry, pouring most of the first bottle into one of Hagrid’s bucket-sized mugs and handing it to Hagrid. “Had a house-elf taste every bottle after what happened to your poor friend Rupert.”
Harry saw, in his mind’s eye, the expression on Hermione’s face if she ever heard about this abuse of houseelves, and decided never to mention it to her.
I just feel that the audience will think someone slipped and said the actor's name instead of the characters. Soooo many people thought that was a mistake in the book.


Have you noticed my script?

Quote:

Originally Posted by ArryGrotter (Post 4887964)
Here's the latest edit of 'The Journey from Platform Nine and Three Quarters:    


  
PS: The Journey from Platform Nine and Three QuartersINT. KING’S CROSS STATION - LATE MORNING
(1/9/1991)

On one platform is a big plastic ‘9’ and on the platform next to it is a big plastic ‘10’. Vernon smiles evilly.

VERNON DURSLEY
Well, there you are, boy. Platform nine - platform ten. Your platform should be somewhere in the middle, but they don't seem to have built it yet.

The Dursley’s depart.

VERNON DURSLEY (CONT’D)
Have a good term.

Vernon and Dudley start laughing at once. Petunia on the other hand, looks at the barrier between the two platforms for a few seconds then begins to laugh like her husband and son.

Harry is alone with a trolley carrying his trunk and his pet owl, Hedwig. Just when he begins to become worried, he hears a voice.

MOLLY WEASLEY
...packed with Muggles of course...

Harry miraculously sees a woman (MOLLY WEASLEY) and her 10-year-old daughter (GINNY WEASLEY) followed by four boys (RON WEASLEY, FRED WEASLEY, GEORGE WEASLEY and PERCY WEASLEY), each pushing a trunk like Harry and the eldest (Percy) also storing an owl. Ginny points to a solid brick wall.

GINNY WEASLEY
Platform nine and three-quarters! Mum, can't I go...
MOLLY WEASLEY
You're not old enough, Ginny, now be quiet. All right, Percy, you go first.

Percy comes forward, making his way to the solid brick wall between platforms 9 and 10. A group of tourists come passed blocking Harry’s view. When they leave, Percy has vanished.

MOLLY WEASLEY (CONT’D)
Fred, George, you next.

Fred and George run towards the wall ... and disappear.

HARRY POTTER
Excuse me.

Molly turns to Harry.

MOLLY WEASLEY
Hello, dear. First time at Hogwarts? Ron's new, too.

She points to the last and youngest of her sons.

HARRY POTTER
Yes. The thing is - I don't know how to -

He points to the brick wall.

MOLLY WEASLEY
Not to worry. All you have to do is walk straight at the barrier between platforms nine and ten. Best do it at a bit of a run if you're nervous. Go on, go now before Ron.

HARRY POTTER
Er - okay.

Harry starts to push his trolley forward and gulps. Closer and closer the brick wall comes. Then...

INT. PLATFORM NINE AND THREE QUARTERS - LATE MORNING
(1/9/1991)

...he falls through, and he finds himself on a platform packed with people.
‘Hogwarts Express, eleven o’clock’ reads a sign overhead. Behind him is an archway, the words ‘Platform Nine and Three-Quarters’ etched into it.
Taking his trunk, Harry passes owls, cats and wizards, trying find an empty compartment.

NEVILLE LONGBOTTOM
Gran, I've lost my toad again.

AUGUSTA LONGBOTTOM
Oh, Neville.

Harry finds an empty carriage and tries to lift through the carriage door. It drops onto his foot.

GEORGE WEASLEY
Want a hand?

Fred and George Weasley spot Harry’s trouble.

HARRY POTTER
Yes, please.

Together the three of them...

INT. HOGWARTS EXPRESS COMPARTMENT - LATE MORNING
(1/9/1991)

...get the trunk into Harry’s compartment. Subconsciously, Harry sweeps his hair of his forehead with his hand, revealing the scar on his forehead.

FRED WEASLEY
What’s that?

GEORGE WEASLEY
Blimey, are you?

FRED WEASLEY
He is. Aren’t you?

HARRY POTTER
What?

FRED WEASLEY / GEORGE WEASLEY
Harry Potter!

HARRY POTTER
Oh - Yes - I am.

They both stare at Harry.

MOLLY WEASLEY (O.S.)
Fred? George? Are you there?

With one last look at Harry, the twins leave.

Harry positions himself so he can see what is happening down at the station.

MOLLY WEASLEY (O.S.) (CONT’D)
Ron, you've got something on your nose.

INT. PLATFORM NINE AND THREE QUARTERS - LATE MORNING
(CONTINUOUS ACTION) (1/9/1991)

Ron jerks away as Molly rubs the end of his nose with her handkerchief, then turns to Percy who is just about to leave for the front carriage.

MOLLY WEASLEY
Well, have a good term and send me an owl when you get there.

She kisses him on the cheek and he departs. She then turns on the twins.

MOLLY WEASLEY (CONT’D)
Now, you two. If I get one more owl telling me you've - you've blown up a toilet or -

FRED WEASLEY
Blown up a toilet? We've never blown up a toilet.

GEORGE WEASLEY
Great idea though, Mum.

MOLLY WEASLEY
It's not funny. And look after Ron.

FRED WEASLEY
Don't worry, ickle Ronniekins is safe with us.

RON WEASLEY
Shut up.

GEORGE WEASLEY
Hey Mum, guess what!

INT. HOGWARTS EXPRESS COMPARTMENT - LATE MORNING
(CONTINUOUS ACTION) (1/9/1991)

Harry leans back so they can’t notice him looking.

GEORGE WEASLEY (O.S.)
Guess who we just met on the train?

INT. PLATFORM NINE AND THREE QUARTERS - LATE MORNING
(CONTINUOUS ACTION) (1/9/1991)
FRED WEASLEY
You know that black-haired boy who was near us in the station?

MOLLY WEASLEY
Who?

FRED WEASLEY
Harry Potter!

Ginny suddenly becomes excited.

GINNY WEASLEY
Oh, Mum, can I go on the train and see him, Mum, oh please...

MOLLY WEASLEY
You've already seen him, Ginny, and the poor boy isn't something you goggle at in a zoo. How do you know, Fred?

FRED WEASLEY
Asked him. Saw his scar. It's really there - like lightning.

MOLLY WEASLEY
Poor dear - no wonder he was alone.

FRED WEASLEY
Do you think he remembers what You-Know-Who looks like?

MOLLY WEASLEY
I forbid you to ask him, Fred. As though he needs reminding of that on his first day at school.

FRED WEASLEY
All right, keep your hair on.

A whistle sounds. Molly kisses each of them. Ginny starts to cry.

FRED WEASLEY (CONT’D)
Don't, Ginny, we'll send you loads of owls.

GEORGE WEASLEY
We'll send you a Hogwarts toilet seat.

MOLLY WEASLEY
George!

GEORGE WEASLEY
Only joking, Mum.

The train starts to move. The door shuts and Ginny starts to run after the train.

INT. HOGWARTS EXPRESS COMPARTMENT - LATE MORNING
(CONTINUOUS ACTION) (1/9/1991)

Harry watches Ginny and Molly disappear as the train turns the corner.
The compartment door opens. Ron Weasley appears.

RON WEASLEY
Anyone sitting there? Everywhere else is full.

Harry shakes his head and Ron sits down. Harry returns to looking at the window, but Ron starts to stare at Harry.

RON WEASLEY (CONT’D)
(Suddenly)
Are you really Harry Potter?

Harry nods.

RON WEASLEY (CONT’D)
Oh - well, I thought it might be one of Fred and George's jokes.
(Pause)
And have you really got - you know...

Ron points to his forehead. Harry reveals his scar.

RON WEASLEY (CONT’D)
So that's where You-Know-Who -

HARRY POTTER
Yes, but I can't remember it.

RON WEASLEY
Nothing?

HARRY POTTER
Well - I remember a lot of green light,
(For a second, the screen fills with green light.)
but nothing else.

RON WEASLEY
Wow.

Ron starts to stare at Harry again, but then quickly looks out the window.

HARRY POTTER
Are all your family wizards?

RON WEASLEY
Er - Yes, I think so.

HARRY POTTER
Wish I'd had three wizard brothers.

RON WEASLEY
(Gloomy)
Five. I'm the sixth in our family to go to Hogwarts. Bill and Charlie have already left - Bill was head boy and Charlie was captain of Quidditch. Now Percy's a prefect. Fred and George mess around a lot, but they still get really good marks and everyone thinks they're really funny. Everyone expects me to do as well as the others, but if I do, it's no big deal, because they did it first. You never get anything new, either. I've got Bill's old robes, Charlie's old wand, and Percy's old rat.

Out of his jacket he pulls out a beaten-up, fat, grey rat (Scabbers).

RON WEASLEY (CONT’D)
His name's Scabbers and he's useless, he hardly ever wakes up.

HARRY POTTER
You must know loads of magic already. I've got loads to learn ... I bet. I bet I'm the worst in the class.

RON WEASLEY
You won't be. There's loads of people who come from Muggle families and they learn quick enough.

A smiling, dimpled woman emerges at the doorway, pushing a food trolley.

FOOD TROLLEY LADY
Anything off the trolley, dears?

Harry leaps up, but Ron mutters something about sandwiches. Looking around, Harry is surprised and confused.

THE TROLLEY

The trolley is fulled with Bettie Bott's Every Flavor Beans, Drooble's Best Blowing Gum, Chocolate Frogs. Pumpkin Pasties, Cauldron Cakes and Licorice Wands.

A LITTLE LATER (MIDDAY)

Harry and Ron eat their way through what looks like the whole trolley. Ron’s sandwiches lay forgotten.

HARRY POTTER
What are these?

He holds up a packet of Chocolate Frogs.

HARRY POTTER (CONT’D)
They're not really frogs, are they?

RON WEASLEY
No. But see what the card is. I'm missing Agrippa. Chocolate Frogs have cards, inside them to collect - famous witches and wizards. I've got about five hundred, but I haven't got Agrippa or Ptolemy.

While he talks Harry unwraps his Chocolate Frog and takes out his card, ‘Albus Dumbledore’, which shows Dumbledore’s name and picture.

HARRY POTTER
So this is Dumbledore!

RON WEASLEY
Don't tell me you'd never heard of Dumbledore!

Harry turns it over and reads the back to himself.

HARRY POTTER
Albus Dumbledore. Currently Headmaster of Hogwarts. Considered by many the greatest wizard of modern times, Dumbledore is particularly famous for his defeat of the dark wizard Grindelwald in 1945, for the discovery of the twelve uses of dragon's blood, and his work on alchemy with his partner, Nicolas Flamel.

Harry turns the card back over. Dumbledore is no longer in frame.

HARRY POTTER (CONT’D)
He’s gone!

RON WEASLEY
Well, you can't expect him to hang around all day. He'll be back.

Harry notices Dumbledore comes back, smiling.

HARRY POTTER
You know, the Muggle world, people just stay put in photos.

RON WEASLEY
Do they? What, they don't move at all? Weird!

Knock, knock. Neville Longbottom appears at the door.

NEVILLE LONGBOTTOM
Sorry, but have you seen a toad at all?

Harry and Ron shake their heads.

NEVILLE LONGBOTTOM (CONT’D)
Yes. Well, if you see him...

Neville leaves.

RON WEASLEY
Don't know why he's so bothered. If I'd brought a toad I'd lose it as quick as I could. Mind you, I brought Scabbers, so I can't talk.
(They both look at Scabbers)
I tried to turn him yellow yesterday, but the spell didn't work. I'll show you, look...

He takes out his wand and Harry notices it is chipped in many places and that a bright white hair is almost sticking out.

Neville appears at the door again, but this time with someone else, a bushy-haired someone who is already wearing her Hogwarts robes (HERMIONE GRANGER).

HERMIONE GRANGER
Has anyone seen a toad? Neville's lost one.

RON WEASLEY
We've already told him we haven't seen it.

Hermione notices Ron’s wand.

HERMIONE GRANGER
Oh, are you doing magic? Let's see it, then.

She sits down.

RON WEASLEY
Er - Sunshine, daisies, butter mellow, Turn this stupid, fat rat yellow.
He waves his wand and nothing happens.

HERMIONE GRANGER
(Speaking fast)
Are you sure that's a real spell? Well, it's not very good, is it? I've tried a few simple spells just for practice and it's all worked for me. Nobody in my family's magic at all, it was ever such a surprise when I got my letter, it's the very best school of witchcraft there is, I've heard - I've learned all our course books by heart, of course, I just hope it will be enough - I'm Hermione Granger, by the way, who are you.

Harry and Ron both look, stunned, at each other.

RON WEASLEY
I’m Ron Weasley.

HARRY POTTER
Harry Potter.

HERMIONE GRANGER
Are you really? I know all about you, of course - I got a few extra books for background reading, and you're in Modern Magical History and The Rise and Fall of the Dark Arts and Great Wizarding Events of the Twentieth Century.

HARRY POTTER
Am I?

HERMIONE GRANGER
Goodness, didn't you know, I'd have found out everything I could if it was me. Do either of you know what house you'll be in? I've been asking around, and I hope I'm in Gryffindor, but I suppose Ravenclaw wouldn't be too bad ... Anyway, we'd better go and look for Neville's toad.

She and Neville leave.

RON WEASLEY
Whatever house I'm in, I hope she's not in it. Stupid spell.

HARRY POTTER
What house are your brothers in?

RON WEASLEY
Gryffindor. Mum and Dad were in it too. I don't know what they'll say if I'm not. I don't suppose Ravenclaw would be too bad, but imagine if they put me in Slytherin.

HARRY POTTER
That's the house Voldemort was in?

Ron gasps.

HARRY POTTER (CONT’D)
What?

RON WEASLEY
You said You-Know-Who's name! I'd have thought you, of all people -

HARRY POTTER
I'm not trying to be brave or anything, saying the name, I just never knew you shouldn't.

Pause.

HARRY POTTER (CONT’D)
So what do your oldest brothers do now that they've left Hogwarts, anyway?

RON WEASLEY
Charlie's in Romania studying dragons, and Bill's in Africa doing something for Gringotts. Did you hear about Gringotts? It's been all over the Daily Prophet. Someone tried to rob a high security vault.

HARRY POTTER
Really? What happened to them?

RON WEASLEY
Nothing, that's why it's such big news. They haven't been caught. Everyone gets scared when something like this happens in case You-Know-Who's behind it.

Harry takes this in.

LATE AFTERNOON/EVENING

Three people appear at the doorway (DRACO MALFOY, VINCENT CRABBE and GREGORY GOYLE)

DRACO MALFOY
Is it true? They're saying all down the train that Harry Potter's in this compartment.

Draco looks to Harry, who looks to Crabbe and Goyle who look large enough to be bodyguards.

DRACO MALFOY (CONT’D)
Oh, this is Crabbe and this is Goyle. And my name's Malfoy, Draco Malfoy.

Ron makes a cough to hide a s******.

DRACO MALFOY (CONT’D)
Think my name's funny, do you? No need to ask who you are. My father told me all the Weasleys have red hair, freckles, and more children than they can afford.

He turns back to Harry.

DRACO MALFOY (CONT’D)
You'll soon find out some wizarding families are much better than others, Potter. You don't want to go making friends with the wrong sort. I can help you there.

He holds out his hand, but Harry doesn’t take it.

HARRY POTTER
I think I can tell who the wrong sort are for myself, thanks.

Malfoy steps back, withdrawing his hand.

DRACO MALFOY
I'd be careful if I were you, Potter. Unless you're a bit politer you'll go the same way as your parents.

HARRY POTTER
Why don't you leave now?
(He glances at Crabbe and Goyle, much larger than him and Ron)

DRACO MALFOY
But we don't feet like leaving, do we, boys? We've eaten all our food and you still seem to have some.

Goyle reaches for a Chocolate Frog, but he gives a horrible yell.

Scabbers sways from Goyle’s finger. He has bitten him. Goyle throw Scabbers across the room and he, Malfoy and Crabbe leave.

Ron picks Scabbers up.

RON WEASLEY
I think he's been knocked out. No - I don't believe it - he's gone back to sleep -

Footsteps are heard in the corridor.

HERMIONE GRANGER
What has been going on?

Hermione Granger appears again.

RON WEASLEY
Can we help you with something?

HERMIONE GRANGER
You haven't been fighting, have you? You'll be in trouble before we even get there!

RON WEASLEY
Scabbers has been fighting, not us. Would you mind leaving now?

HERMIONE GRANGER
All right - I only came in here because people outside are behaving very childishly, racing up and down the corridors.
(Beat)
And you've got dirt on your nose, by the way, did you know?

She leaves.

EXT. HOGSMEADE STATION - EVENING
(1/9/1991)

The Hogwarts Express starts to slow down and finally reaches the station. Students, all in their robes, are exiting excitedly. Hagrid calls over them, carrying a lamp.

RUBEUS HAGRID
Firs' years! Firs' years over here! All right there, Harry?

Harry makes his way forward with Ron.

RUBEUS HAGRID (CONT’D)
C'mon, follow me - any more firs' years? Mind yer step, now! Firs' years follow me!
  


It's still too long for my liking

Blast_ended January 4th, 2008 9:06 pm

Re: Fan Scripts: Script your own version of Harry Potter
 
MrSleepyHead, One of the things I absolutely hate about the HP adaptions so far are plot holes, things left in the air. It was never explained who killed Crouch in GoF or who sent the dementors in OotP, not to mention a lot of other plot holes. I don't want any at my adaption, so I included a lot of explaining, but I feel that in order to be a true classic everything must be clear (one of the main flaws of "Silence of the Lambs", for example, is it misses some details found only in the book - for example, how come Buffalo Bill ended up in Mrs. Lippman house).

Quote:

Originally Posted by MrSleepyHead (Post 4876894)
I do not have time to read much of this, but I scrolled down and immediately saw the Dirk/Ted/Griphook scene. Cut this.

Well, my thought was I needed to introduce Griphook and Gringotts, the fake sword location, and I wanted a lot of death around (this is why I left Hedwig's and Moody's death - to create a feeling that it it the real thing this time, anyone may die). I also think we need to have Ted Tonks in order to explain Teddy's name. It is short and I don't think it will bother many people.

Quote:

Originally Posted by MrSleepyHead (Post 4876894)
In Dark Lord Ascending, do not mention that Lupin/Tonks have been married: have their wedding be in the stead of Bill and Fleur's (ah - just a typo, I see).

That's excatly what I did. I mentioned it at the opening because I wanted to have Bellatrix swearing to kill Tonks; I want it to be clear that even though Harry see Lupin's breaking up with Tonks as a cowardly move, Lupin is right in saying he made tonks an outcast; Bellatrix killed her, because of him.

Quote:

Originally Posted by MrSleepyHead (Post 4876894)
Also, Ollivander's appearance is most unexpected. Few will remember who he is, so Voldemort needing information from him will be confusing (the readers of the book understood that Ollivander would tell him about the twin cores - the movie audience will be clueless). Thus, substitute him with somebody else or cut this part.

I think Ollivander is needed to explain about wands. It dosen't matter he appeared before, he is reintroduced. I might add a line where he is introduced as "the famous wandmaker", just to make his job clear.

Quote:

Originally Posted by MrSleepyHead (Post 4876894)
You spent too long with dialogue between Harry and the Dursleys. It should be quick, and the guard should appear at the same time, with one or two members taking the Dursleys away. Cut the tastiness of Harry's potion (no one remembers it from CoS).

This scene is extremely short, and I think it is good in creating the atmosphere. While in the past the Dursleys were used as comic characters, now they are in danger...

As for the potion, I thought it was a funny line so I kept it.


Quote:

Originally Posted by MrSleepyHead (Post 4876894)
Cut the ghoul and Scrimgeour. I would have Mad-Eye give him the bag at the Dursleys or Kingsley/Lupin give him the stuff at the Burrow (the trio will go up to Ron's room and look at the stuff there). Cut Lupin at Grimmauld Place. Perhaps even cut Kreacher's story/locket - have Harry have the locket since his excursion into the cave.

The ghoul is for the plot holes thing. It needed explanation how come the death eaters aren't going for Ron's family, and it also shows us how serious the situation is.

Scrimegour might be unnecessary, but the will objects are important and I thought it would be better to give "The minister" a face, in order to make his death more effective.

Lupin in Grimmauld Place is absolutely necessary. First of all, it's a great character moment. Secondly, I used it to give a lot of information: Tonks is pregnant, Taboo, snape as headmaster, and as a way to get the trio out of GP. And thirdly, if I want Lupin's death to have an impact on the audience, I need to give him a fair amount of screentime...

ArryGrotter January 5th, 2008 1:18 am

Re: Fan Scripts: Script your own version of Harry Potter
 
Blast_ended, you may think I am snobbing you, but I did respond to your DH script. It's the first post on page 4.

As well as reworking 'The Journey from Platform 9 3/4', I've also reworked the opening of the script, following this comment:

Quote:

Originally Posted by Phrozenone (Post 4872786)
Oh Arry there is just SO much. I like some of the things but you have ALOT of things there. Why the prophecy at the beginning? You're introducing something that won't get brought up again until the 5th film and probably won't be resolved until the 6th. I mean it's an interesting concept and if this was a trilogy I'd say yeah good idea! It'll be interesting to see how your series shapes up though. What is the time limit you're giving yourself?

PS: WhisphersEXT. THE POTTER’S COTTAGE - GODRIC’S HOLLOW - EVENING
(31/10/1981)

A gate is left open in front of a cottage, is curtains fully drawn and its door blasted open.

SYBILL TRELAWNEY (V.O.)
(In a hoarse voice)
The one with the power to vanquish the Dark Lord...

INT. HARRY’S ROOM - THE POTTER’S COTTAGE - GODRIC’S HOLLOW - EVENING

An infant (1-YEAR-OLD HARRY POTTER) stares at a hooded figure (VOLDEMORT). Light catches its face and Harry begins to cry.

VOLDEMORT
Avada Kedavra!

EXT. THE POTTER’S COTTAGE - GODRIC’S HOLLOW - EVENING
(31/10/1981)

Green light erupts from an upstairs room. Sounds of agony can be heard, both from Harry and Voldemort

SYBILL TRELAWNEY (V.O.)
...approaches...

The title “Harry Potter and the Philosopher’s Stone” fills the screen.

Phrozenone January 8th, 2008 6:08 pm

Re: Fan Scripts: Script your own version of Harry Potter
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by ArryGrotter (Post 4888687)
Have you noticed my script? It's still too long for my liking


Indeed but it's a big improvement over the other one. Keep it up. One thing I like that you did was that instead of having Harry and Ron talking about candy you had Ron give Harry a little insight of the wizarding world. I wish they'd done that with the actual film but talking about candy is more exciting :grumble:

Also I like the new intro you've written out. Good job :tu:

My thing is to we really have to hear Fred and George tell their mom about Harry? I just think that's the one thing that slows your script down. Sure it's MUCH better than what you had originally. Also Ron going on about his other brothers. You're going to have to bring them up again eventually when they're needed and I think at this moment they really aren't. They're just named and the Gringott thing..won't we find that out later? Once you bring it up we might as well hear it all in full instead of just a little..but that's just my opinion and it doesn't matter much :p

Anywho here's the next section of my HBP script.

caption:    


  INT. DUMBLEDORE’S OFFICE-NIGHT

DUMBLEDORE
Have you managed the task I set you at the end of our previous lesson?

HARRY
Well, no sir, seeing the situation with Ron and all.

DUMBLEDORE
Yes, I see. And after Mr. Weasley was found to be well, did you try again?

HARRY
Well…no…

DUMBLEDORE
I thought I made it clear to you how very important that memory is Harry. It is the most crucial memory of all and we will be wasting our time without it.

HARRY
It isn’t that I wasn’t trying…I’ve just had other things….I’m sorry sir.

DUMBLEDORE
There will be little point in our meeting after tonight unless we have that memory. Now, I have two memories to show to you. One is from the house elf Hokey and the other one is from me. Now Harry if you please…

(The scene cuts to them standing in a room with a lady and a house elf walking around carrying a tray.)

INT-HEPZIBAH’S LIVING ROOM-EVENING (THE PAST)

HEPZIBAH
How do I look Hokey?

HEKEY
Lovely, madam.

HEPZIBAH
He should be on his way..
(She walks over to the window and looks out)
Oh yes I see him.

The doorbell rings and she runs and opens the door. The door opens and standing there is Tom Riddle holding flowers.

TOM
I brought you flowers.

HEPZIBAH
You naughty boy, you shouldn’t have. Come in Tom, sit down.

She leads him to a room and they both sit down and Hokey brings in a trey of cakes.

HEPZIBAH
Help yourself to a cake Tom. You look pale; they’re overworking you at that shop I see. So, what brings you here today?

TOM
Mr. Burke would like to make an imporved offer for the goblin made armor.

HEPZIBAH
Mr. Burke huh (she chuckles.) Can you keep a secret, Tom? Promise me you won’t tell Mr. Burke!

TOM
I’d be glad to see anything Miss Hepzibah shows me.

HEPZIBAH
Hokey! I want you to bring Tom my…finest treasures.
(Hokey enters with two leather boxes and hands them to her.)
Now, (she opens the first one and pulls out a small golden cup.) Do you know what this is Tom?

TOM
A badger. Was this, by chance, Helga Hufflepuff’s?

HEPZIBAH
You clever boy! This has been handed down in the family for years. It’s supposed to posses all sorts of powers, but I haven’t tested them thoroughly.

She places it back in the box and hands it to Hokey. She opens the next one and pulls out a locket with the S hanging from it.

TOM
(With excitement in his eyes.)
Slytherin’s Mark!

HEPZIBAH
That’s right! Bought it from Burke, apparently he bought it from a ragged looking woman who seemed to have stolen it, but had no idea of it’s true value.

TOM
Can I?

HEPZIBAH
Oh sure Tom
(She hands it to him and we see a light in his eyes as he looks at the necklace.)
Pretty isn’t it, all kinds of powers are within.

As we see Tom continue to look at the necklace the camera pans over to Harry and Dumbledore.

DUMBLEDORE
Needless to say Harry, Hepzibah Smith died two days after this little scene. Hokey was convicted of poisining her.

HARRY
Do you think Voldermort…?

DUMBLEDORE
Modified her memory as well? Now Harry I have one more memory to bestow upon you. (The scene with them slowly fades around Dumbledore and Harry and soon they are standing in Dumbledores office, only in the past..)

INT-DUMBLEDORE’S OFFICE-NIGHT (20? YEARS EARLIER)

A young Dumbledore is sitting behind his desk and there’s a knock on the door

YOUNG DUMBLEDORE
Enter!

The door opens and in walks a young Voldemort. The darkness is very apparent in his appearance now, and his physical appearance is already starting to change.

YOUNG DUMBLEDORE
Good evening Tom, won’t you sit down?

VOLDEMORT
Thank you. I heard that you had become headmaster, a worthy choice.

YOUNG DUMBLEDORE
I am glad you approve. So what do I owe this pleasure, Tom?

VOLDEMORT
They do not call me ‘Tom’ anymore these days Dumbledore, I am known as…

YOUNG DUMBLEDORE
I know what you are known as, however I’m afraid you will always be Tom Riddle to me.
(Voldermort frowns slighty at the sound of this.)
So what brings you here Tom?

VOLDEMORT
I have returned to ask that you permit me to return to this castle, to teach. I could show and tell your students things they can gain from no other wizard.

YOUNG DUMBLEDORE
Yes, I certainly do know that you have seen and done much since leaving us. Rumors of your doings have reached your old school, Tom. I should be sorry to believe half of them.

VOLDEMORT
Greatness inspires envy, envy engenders spite, and spite spawns lies. You must know this, Dumbledore.

YOUNG DUMBLEDORE
You call it ‘greatness’ what you have been doing?

VOLDEMORT
Certainly. I have pushed the boundaries of magic further perhaps, than they have ever been pushed.

YOUNG DUMBLEDORE
Of some kinds of magic Tom. Of others, I’m afraid, you remain woefully ignorant

VOLDEMORT
(Laughs)
The old argument. But nothing I have seen in the world has supported your famous pronouncements that love is more powerful than my kind of magic, Dumbledore.

YOUNG DUMBLEDORE
Perhaps you’ve been looking in the wrong places.

VOLDEMORT
Will you let me return? I place myself and my talents at your disposal. I am yours to command.

YOUNG DUMBLEDORE
And what will become of those who call themselves, the Death Eaters, whom I hear you, command.

VOLDEMORT
My friends will carry on without me, I’m sure.

YOUNG DUMBLEDORE
I am glad to hear you consider them friends. You see I was under the impression that they are more in the order of servants.

VOLDEMORT
You are mistaken.

YOUNG DUMBLEDORE
Then why Tom are there a group of people sitting at the Hog’s Head awaiting your return? Devoted friends indeed, to travel this far with you on a snowy night, merely to wish you luck as you attempt to secure a teaching post.

VOLDEMORT
You are omniscient as ever, Dumbledore

YOUNG DUMBLEDORE
Maybe so, then again I could just know the right people in the right places. Let us speak openly, why have you come here tonight, surrounded by henchmen, to request a job we both know you do not want?

VOLDEMORT
I do not want? On the contrary, Dumbledore, I want it very much.

YOUNG DUMBLEDORE
I disagree Tom. Stop with the games and tell me what you want.

VOLDEMORT
I’ve told you. Now if you simply don’t want to give me the job…

YOUNG DUMBLEDORE
Of course I don’t, and I don’t think for a moment you expected me to.

VOLDEMORT
(He stands up with rage in his eyes.)
This is your final word?

YOUNG DUMBLEDORE
It is.

VOLDEMORT
Then we have nothing more to say to each other!

YOUNG DUMBLEDORE
I’m afraid not.

Voldemort sneers and walks furiously out of the room and there is a flash and

INT. DUMBLEDORE’S OFFICE-NIGHT (PRESENT DAY)

Harry and Dumbledore are now standing in front of the Penseive.

HARRY
Why did he come back sir?

DUMBLEDORE
I have ideas, but I can’t tell you what they are until you have retrieved that memory from Professor Slughorn.

HARRY
Was he after the Defense Against the Dark Arts job sir?

DUMBLEDORE
Definitely. The aftermath of our little meeting proved that. You see we have never been able to keep a Defense Against the Dark Arts teacher for longer than a year since I refused the post to Lord Voldemort.

(The camera zooms in to Harry’s face as he now understands why no teacher has lasted in the class.and fades.

INT. DARK CORRIDOR/BOYS BATHROOM-EVENING

The scene fades back in with Ron and Harry walking down the hall. Harry is reading his Advanced Potions book as Ron talks

RON
Anything good in there the prince has to say?

HARRY
There is this, Sectumsempra, it says For Enemies. I wonder what it does.

RON
Dunno, just make sure you don’t try it out on me will you.

HARRY
I don’t know; just make sure you stay on my good side.

The walk into the bathroom and we see Moaning Myrtle pop out of one of the toilets.

MYRTLE
Oh, it’s you two.

HARRY
Myrtle?

RON
What are you doing here? This is the boys’ bathroom you know!

HARRY
Are you expecting anyone?

MYRTLE
I suppose not. He said he’d come back and see me, but then you said you’d pop in and visit me too and I havent seen you for months and months. I’ve learned not to expect too much from boys.

HARRY
I thought you lived in the girls’ bathroom.

MYRTLE
I do but that doesn’t mean I can’t visit other places. I came and saw you in your bath once, remember.

HARRY
Vividly.

MYRTLE
Maybe if you two left, he’d come back…we had lots in common

RON
So you mean he lives in an S-bend too?

MYRTLE
No, he’s sensitive. People bully him too and he feels lonely and hasn’t got anybody to talk too. He’s not afraid to show his feelings and cry.

HARRY
There’s been a boy in here crying? Who was it?

MYRTLE
Never you mind! I promised I wouldn’t tell anyone, and I’ll take his secret to the…

RON
I hope you’re not going to say the grave, the sewers maybe…

She lets out a howl and flies back into the toilet.

RON
Yeah…now like I was saying…

HARRY
Dobby?

The camera pans and shows Dobby hiding behind one of the stalls.

DOBBY
Dobby has come to report news on the Malfoy boy.

HARRY
Where’s Kreacher…you know what..nevermind..what do you have to tell me?

DOBBY
The Malfoy boy is breaking no rules that Dobby can discover. He has, however, been making regular visits to the seventh floor with a variety of other students, who keep watch for him while he enters…

HARRY
The Room of Requirements…

INT. GRYFFINDOR COMMON ROOM-NIGHT

The scene fades to Harry, Ron, and Hermione sitting in front of the fire place in the Gryffindor common room.

HARRY
How good is this, we know where Malfoy’s going!

RON
(He is writing out his DADA homework and says very dryly..)
Yeah it’s great

HERMIONE
Before you get excited Harry, I still don’t think you’ll be able to get into the Room of Requirments without knowing what’s there first. You have to know exactly what Malfoy wants from the room. And besides you should be concentrating on getting the memory from Slughorn…

HARRY
I haven’t forgotten about Slughorn, but I haven’t a clue how to get that memory off him, and until I get a brain wave or something, why shouldn’t I find out what Malfoy’s doing?

HERMIONE
It’s odd, Malfoy’s been looking pale and overworked lately…

RON
This is ridiculous! How could Snape possibly think we’d finish this essay! I can’t get a hang of apparation and the tests are coming up as well, I can’t take all this pressure!

HERMIONE
Harry and I finished it days ago Ronald, that’s what you get for waiting to the last minute. And Apparation isn’t that bad, you saw that Harry attempted it.

RON
I’m never gonna finish this…

HERMIONE
(Frustrated)
Oh honestly Ron...
(she grabs the parchment from him)
I’ll finish it for you!

RON
I love you, Hermione

He sits back in his chair relived and Hermione blushes slightly and begins to write as the scene fades to…

EXT. THE BLACK LAKE-AFTERNOON

Harry and Neville are sitting outside outside the black lake. Neville is looking at plants and Harry is sitting out looking at the lake with a look of deep though on his face.

HARRY
Neville, say that you had a friend and your friend liked his best friends sister.

NEVILLE
You like Ginny?

HARRY
I didn’t say it was about me…its my friend!

NEVILLE
Sure…ok…

HARRY
Anyways, my “friend” has known her for a while and didn’t realize how much he cared for her. Now he doesn’t want to try it because he doesn’t want to risk this friendship with his friend. I mean his friend is a bit…I mean I don’t know. What would you do?

NEVILLE
You’re asking me about girl problems?

HARRY
(Thinking about it)
Oh, yeah… right

NEVILLE
Hey Hermione!

She runs into the shot with a big smile on her face.

HERMIONE
I passed the Apparation tests!

NEVILLE
Well done!

HARRY
Don’t think I expected anything less of you. How did Ron do?

HERMIONE
Oh…well he just failed.

HARRY
Are you serious? What happened?

HERMIONE
It was really unlucky; he’d left half an eyebrow behind.

Harry and Neville just starts to laugh.

INT-BRIDGE-EVENING (SAME DAY)

RON
Half an eyebrow, HALF AN EYEBROW!

HERMIONE
Well it could’ve been worse.

RON
Oh come off it Hermione.

Luna walks up to them holding an item that looks like a green onion, a large spotted toadstool, and a considerable amount of what looks like cat litter.

LUNA
HARRY!

HARRY
Hey Luna…

LUNA
(She thrust the item into Rons hand)
I’ve been told to give you this.

RON
What the bloody hell is this thing?

LUNA
It’s a Gurdyroot of course! You can keep it if you like, they’re really excellent for warding off Gulping Plimpies.

RON
Um, (he hands it back to her)No thanks.

LUNA
Ok then…
(She grabs it and walks away humming a tune.)

RON
You know, she’s grown on me, I know she’s insane, but it’s in a good…

HARRY
Oh no.

HERMIONE
What is it? Is it Dumbledore?

HARRY
No, Aragog died. He wants us to come to the funeral.

RON
He’s mental! That thing told its mates to eat Harry and Me!

HERMIONE
You’re not going are you…Harry you can’t! It’s such a pointless thing to get detention over. You should be trying to get that memory from Slughorn!

HARRY
Don’t you think I’ve been trying?

HERMIONE
How?

HARRY
I…well….it doesn’t matter how! I’ve tried it hundreds of times, I just can’t get any luck.

RON
Luck! Harry, you could use your lucky potion!

HERMIONE
Ron, that’s it!
  



Yay!! That actually works wonderfully...thanks for the tip ArryGrotter :tu::tu:

IenjoyAcidPops January 10th, 2008 10:11 pm

Re: Fan Scripts: Script your own version of Harry Potter
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by MrSleepyHead (Post 4876894)
Also, the audience will have forgotten many of the points Bellatrix brings up:

Well, that depends on the person. Even so, it's not necessary that everyone everywhere remember everything that Bellatrix brings up for the scene to work.

Quote:

Originally Posted by MrSleepyHead (Post 4876894)
why Snape stopped Voldemort from getting the Stone (SS/PS), why he did not fight at the Ministry (OotP

I didn't bring either of those points up in my version.

Quote:

Originally Posted by MrSleepyHead (Post 4876894)
Overall, this scene requires flashbacks that ruin its mood.

You're right, flashbacks would kill the mood. As I just indicated, though, I don't see why they'd be needed here.

Obviously we disagree that mine would be boring (I can't imagine anything with Alan Rickman and Helena Bonham Carter could be boring). I do agree that yours was the more intense take; but then, I wasn't going for intensity so much as a subtler kind of tension, an uneasiness, a feeling of the audience having the rug pulled out from under them by the claims Snape makes of his loyalty. I think both work, but that's subjective. This just points to what makes this thread interesting; to see a deceptively-simple scene like this interpreted so very differently. It'd be dull otherwise. It should be fun to see how my HBP draft differs from Phrozenone's as well (ditto for DH, come to think of it).

Anyway, speaking of the Prince, I know I said in my last post that I'd try either the Harry/Dumbledore scene from GoF's end or OotP's end, but, well, that's been put on hold for the moment as I'm not getting to HBP as often as I'd like as is. So here are my versions of "Will and Won't" and "Horace Slughorn". Hopefully I've captured the importance of these two chapters (and I am keeping them both, 'though I know some people disagree with that choice) without going on too long. I will say I am a bit worried about the pace here, but I know I've got a better flow going once I get to the Burrow. I tried to keep as much of Rowling's visual detail as I could to (hopefully) offset the amount of dialogue.

The title would come straight after that close-up on Snape saying "I will".

The title Harry Potter and The Half-Blood Prince fills the frame, drowned out within seconds by the bright white of a streetlight on Privet Drive. We pan backward from Harry's bedroom window, to HEDWIG sitting in her cage, to HARRY sitting on his bed, a few 'DAILY PROPHETS's and random pamphlets scattered around him, looking through the photo album given to him years ago, at images of the original ORDER OF THE PHOENIX and of newlyweds LILY and JAMES laughing alongside best man SIRIUS. Next moment, Harry's attention is diverted by the extinguishing of the streetlight just outside his window.
CUT TO:
The front door opens to show DUMBLEDORE waiting there.

DUMBLEDORE
Good evening, Harry. I wonder -

At that, the bellow of "Who the ruddy hell is calling at this time of night?!" signals UNCLIE VERNON's entrance out of the sitting room and into the hallway; Aunt PETUNIA and DUDLEY follow from out of the kitchen.

DUMBLEDORE
Ah, you must be Petunia; and this, of course, is Vernon and young Dudley. Would it be too large an imposition if I came in for a moment? It is unwise to lurk in doorways in these troubled times, and there is something we should discuss.

Dumbledore takes notice of the look on the Dursleys' collective faces, pure shock at the ghastly

DUMBLEDORE
Judging by the looks of stunned disbelief on your faces, Harry did not tell I was coming?

After a predictable scowl Harry's way, this remark seems to give Vernon the nerve to speak up.

VERNON
No, he did not! Now, I don't mean to be rude -

DUMBLEDORE
(stepping over the threshold and closing the door behind him) Yet sadly accidental rudeness occurs alarmingly often. However, let us just assume that you have welcomed me warmly into your home just the same. (walking into the next room and sitting at the nearest armchair) Well, we may as well all be comfortable.

With a casual wave of his wand, Dumbledore sends the sitting room sofa zooming under the three Dursleys' legs, leaving them in a heap on it, and then back to it's original position.

DUMBLEDORE
Drinks, perhaps.

Dumbledore waves his wand once again, and a glass of honey-colored liquid floats into Harry's hand. We (and Harry) have noticed that Dumbledore's right hand now appears blackened and withered, as if the flesh had been burnt away.

DUMBLEDORE
Madam Rosmerta's finest mead.

Three other glasses float toward the Dursleys, scrunched together on the now-tiny sofa; as if their lives depended on it, they ignore the drinks floating before them.

DUMBLEDORE
Now, getting down to business, Harry, I must tell you that Sirius' will was discovered a week ago.

Harry seems to cringe slightly at hearing his godfather's name.

HARRY
Oh. Right.

DUMBLEDORE
It seems you inherit a fair amount of gold to add your vault, in addition to all of Sirius' remaining possessions, including #12 Grimmauld Place itself, which means ownership of the Blacks' house elf Kreacher.

A quick cut here to the confused/horrified Dursleys, the glasses now gently rapping against the sides of their heads.

HARRY
I don't want the house; the Order should keep using it. And I don't want to be Kreacher's master either.

On "Kreacher", a faint pop signals KREACHER's appearance in the room, sitting on the floor, pounding his fists, and repeating "Kreacher won't!" in his bullfrog's voice. Vernon looks no more frustrated than usual, Dudley simply dumbstruck, but Petunia lets out a sharp shriek and lifts her feet a bit off the floor.

DUMBLEDORE
I'm afraid in that matter you have no choice. However, I wonder if you would permit him a post in the Hogwarts kitchens with the other house-elves.

HARRY
Sure; I didn't know Hogwarts employed house-elves, though.

DUMBLEDORE
Indeed.

HARRY
Kreacher, shut up! (silence) Kreacher, I want you to go to Hogwarts, to work with the other house-elves.

Kreacher ceases his tantrum and replies with his usual scowl "Kreacher will do as his master commands" and disappears.

DUMBLEDORE
Well, that's settled.

VERNON
It most surely is not!

The mead glasses are now hammering against the Dursleys' heads, Petunia and Dudley making pointless attempts to cower.

VERNON
The - th - WILL YOU GET THESE RUDDY THINGS OFF US?!

DUMBLEDORE
Oh, I'm sorry. (vanishing them) It would have been better manners to drink them, you know

Vernon is clearly stifling a harsher reply as he asks:

VERNON
The boy - his godfather's dead? And he's been left the house?

DUMBLEDORE
That's right.

VERNON
Then why on earth does he need to be here?

DUMBLEDORE
A worthy question, and indeed what I wished to discuss with you. You see, when I placed Harry on your doorstep nearly 15 years ago, I invoked a magic that would ensure his safety here as long as he could call this place home, as long as he was welcomed, treated with fairness, and kindness. You have not done this; instead, he has been greeted to neglect and cruelty at your hands. However, you have taken him in, albeit reluctantly, and so the protection was effective. This charm will expire at the precise moment Harry turns 17. I ask that you find it in yourselves to take him in one last brief time before his next birthday

At this, the Dursleys remain sitting on the couch, stupidly speechless.

EXT. PRIVET DRIVE - DEAD OF NIGHT
Dumbledore and Harry reach the end of the street. As they stop, Dumbledore takes out a small, metallic gadget and sends the lights returning to their streetlamps. Harry catches another glimpse of his mangled hand and now notices a clumsily-made gold band on his ring finger, a cracked black stone in it's center.

HARRY
Professor, what did happen to your hand?

DUMBLEDORE
Oh, it is a most enthralling tale; one I wish to do justice, later. Now, you have not, of course, passed your apparition test.

HARRY
No. I though you had to be 17.

DUMBLEDORE
You do. Take my arm, then - the left, if you would.

Harry does so and in an instant they disappear from Privet Drive and reappear in a deserted forest lane. Harry seems somewhat shaken by this, his first experience with apparition.

DUMBLEDORE
You're alright?

HARRY
Fine, but I think I prefer a broom.

Dumbledore grins at this as he and Harry start down the wooded path.

HARRY
Professor, where exactly are we?

DUMBLEDORE
This, Harry, is the charming village of Budleigh Babberton. We are going to be attempting to convince an old colleague of mine to come out of retirement and return to Hogwarts. We do seem to move through faculty rather often, don't we?

They stop at the first of a group of small stone cottages, with gardens before the front doors. Clearly there have been other visitors here, as Dumbledore takes a troubled look at the front door hanging off it's hinges, broken windows and small fires around.

DUMBLEDORE
Wand out and follow me, Harry.

Harry does so and they both mutter "Lumos" as they walk into the sitting room, where a scene of total devastation meets their eyes. By the wandlight we see a piano turned on it's side, keys strewn about, cushions thoroughly ripped and punctured, a splintered grandfather clock sitting at their feet, bits of glass spread like powder over everything, glass apparently from a wrecked chandelier sitting in the middle of the room, and a smattering of blood on the far wall.

HARRY
Do you think he's -

DUMBLEDORE
- somewhere in this room still.

Dumbledore glances at the chair to his left, the only untouched item in the room, mutters "Nox", and points his wand toward it. In an instant, what was just an overstuffed armchair is now an enormously fat, balding, walrus-mustached old man looking up at Dumbledore with aggrieved, watery eyes (Harry's eyes go wide for a moment).

DUMBLEDORE
Good evening, Horace.

HORACE
Albus! Wa-w-what gave me away?

DUMBLEDORE
My dear Horace, if the Death Eaters really had come to call, surely The Dark Mark would have been set over the house.

HORACE
The Dark Mark, I knew I forgot something!

HORACE begins to walk around the room and repair the damage as Dumbledore asks him:

DUMBLEDORE
Tell me, Horace, these extra precautions, moving from one absent muggle home to the next, placing every protective enchantment in your arsenal over them: would they be for the Death Eaters' benefit or mine?

HORACE
My dear Albus, what would the Death Eaters want with a broken-down old buffer like me?

DUMBLEDORE
Oh, surely they'd apply your considerable talents to...torture, to murder.

HORACE
Now, Albus, I -

The wreckage repaired, Horace turns around and notices Harry standing there, a few paces behind Dumbledore.

HORACE
Oh. Oho!

DUMBLEDORE
Oh, how very rude of me: Harry Potter, this is Horace Slughorn.

SLUGHORN
So that's how you thought you'd persuade me, is it? Well, my answer remains no!

DUMBLEDORE
Is that so? Well, if I cmay use your bathroom before we take our leave..

SLUGHORN
Yes, it's, uh, second to the left down the hall.

Dumbledore leaves the room the room and SLUGHORN looks at Harry, paying keenest attention (unsurprisingly) to the lightning scar on Harry's forehead.

SLUGHORN
You look very like your father. Except the eyes; you've got your -

HARRY
Mother's eyes, yeah, I've heard.

SLUGHORN
Hmpf; you'll be Gryffindor like her, I suppose?

Harry nods.

SLUGHORN
Of course you shouldn't have favorites as a teacher, but your mother: she was charming, funny, one of the brightest I ever taught. Shame she wasn't in my house.

HARRY
Which was your house?

SLUGHORN
I was head of Slytherin. (noticing the uncertain look on Harry's face) I know what you're thinking, and don't go holding that against me. (beat) Anyway, it's all well and good for Dumbledore to talk, but going back to Hogwarts would be tantamount to declaring my allegiance to The Order of the Phoenix, and while I'm sure they're all very brave and admirable and all that, I don't fancy the mortality rate!

HARRY
You don't have to be in the Order to teach at Hogwarts; only three of the teachers are in it, and besides, none of them's been killed.

SLUGHORN
Yes, well -

HARRY
I reckon Hogwarts is about the safest place to be now, actually. I mean, the only reason Voldemort (Slughorn cringes slightly at hearing the name.) hasn't come after Hogwarts by now is because of Dumbledore, isn't it?

SLUGHORN
That's true, but -

HARRY
And there've been loads of new protective enchantments put over the school; surely you're better off there than on the run?

SLUGHORN
I - I suppose -

Slughorn pauses to contemplate this as Dumbledore walks back in.

DUMBLEDORE
Shall we be off, Harry?.

SLUGHORN
Alright. Alright, I'll do it!

DUMBLEDORE
You will?

SLUGHORN
I must be mad, but yes, I'll go back. Of course, I'll expect a pay rise.

DUMBLEDORE
(a slight grin on his face) Of course.

EXT. THE BURROW - BACK DOOR - DEAD OF NIGHT
Harry and Dumbledore stop just before the back entrance.

DUMBLEDORE
I hope you'll forgive me for mentioning it, Harry, but before we part, I wish to say how pleased and...proud of how well you are coping with what happened at the Ministry. Permit me to say that I think Sirius would be proud. (beat) It's cruel that you had so little time together.

HARRY
It's just hard - to realize I'll never talk to him again. (pause) It could be me next ,couldn't it? Well, if it is, I'll just make it my business to take as many Death Eaters with me as I can; and Voldemort too if I can manage it.

DUMBLEDORE
Truly spoken like the son of Lily and James Potter, and Sirius' true godson.


So that's it. Let me say this: it definitely reads slower than I imagine it; however, it's still probably a bit lengthy. Most of my cuts are pretty self-explanatory (You can only watch Harry/Dumbledore walk around Budleigh Babberton for so long, for instance, and some information relayed through 'Daily Prophet' stories will be fit in later.) I'll surely be making constant tweaks to this post like I did with "Spinner's End", but what do you think as of now?

shaun0505 January 14th, 2008 10:30 pm

Re: Fan Scripts: Script your own version of Harry Potter
 
Here's a scene I wrote for the beginning of Deathly Hallows. It's short and to the point which is what they (WB) want.

A dark cloudy sky. The metallic looking Warner Brothers Logo flies through the air and directly towards the screen. The camera passes through centre of the logo leaving a dark cloudy sky. Through the clouds come the title 'HARRY POTTER AND THE DEATHLY HALLOWS.' The music of Hedwigs theme quietens as the camera pans down onto an old country lane.
A crane shot of the country lane. The sky is clear. In the distant a noble manor house can be seen, lights glimmering in the night.
Several loud cracks are heard followed by a bang. Two men have appeared in the lane. One of them is lying on the floor, the other stands over him, a small wooden wand in his hand.

YAXLEY
Snape, whatch'a playing at?

SNAPE
Apologies Yaxley, yet you could have been anyone.

Yaxley gets to his feet and the pair make their way to a iron gate in front of the manor house. They pass through and make their way up the lane to the house.

YAXLEY
I would have got here sooner but I got held back. (He pauses) You are sure that your news is correct.

SNAPE
If everything goes to plan. The Dark Lords work the past sixteen years will finally be worth it.

YAXLEY
You mean Potter? What-

Yaxley is cut off as they reach the door of the Manor. Snape knocks and several seconds later a pale boy (Draco Malfoy) opens the door and lets Snape and Yaxley through.
Yaxley and Snape make their way through the house to a back room where a large group of people are sat around a table. Snape sits next to the tallest man, who is sat stroking a large snake. Yaxley sits.

VOLDEMORT
Snape, what news do you have?

SNAPE
They are moving the boy earlier than we anticipated, the twenty seventh is the date I have heard.

YAXLEY
Why would they do that? If his protection ends on the thirty-first it would seem foolish to leave any earlier.

SNAPE
The order, believes that we think exactly that way Yaxley. They are moving him earlier as they think that we will go on the thirty-first.

VOLDEMORT
Indeed. I wondered whether... No matter. Yet we should not be too confident. It would be a blow if he left and we were not informed. Where will they be taking him?

SNAPE
The Burrow. But the protection there will be too great to get him. That is, if we fail.

VOLDEMORT
Which is why we must not. I have been too careless where Harry Potter is concerned. That he lives is more of my failure than his triumphs. I must deal with him myself.

There is silence around the table. Draco Malfoy is staring out into space and not paying attention to the meeting.

VOLDEMORT
You will notice, we have a guest with us this evening.

He points upwards where is figure is slowly rotating.

VOLDEMORT
This, is Professor Burbage, who until most recently, taught at Hogwarts school. She also wrote a lengthy article in the Daily Prophet about how muggles should be treated as equals and how we should embrace them. Obviously I couldn't let such a person to miss out on our meeting.

BURBAGE
Severus... please....

VOLDEMORT
Were you taught by Burbage, Draco?

Draco turns and shakes his head.

VOLDEMORT
Of course. Burbage taught Muggle Studies. And you are of noble blood. Of course you would not take her subject.

BURBAGE
Severus please! Help me!

Snape ignores Burbage. Voldemort withdraws a long thin wand.

VOLDEMORT
Avada Kedavra!

Burbage falls to the table with a crash. The snake slowly falls off Voldemort's shoulders as he says

VOLDEMORT
Dinner, Nagini...

END OF SCENE

MrSleepyHead January 15th, 2008 1:15 am

Re: Fan Scripts: Script your own version of Harry Potter
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by ArryGrotter
That just doesn't seem as powerful as I always it in the book. Dumbledore cries, doesn't he? And Fawkes sings. I'd find that scene much powerful if there was a tear down Dumbledore's face.

Yes, in the book Dumbledore's becomes teary-eyed and Harry looks at his knees. Fawkes lets out a singsong moan, and Dumbledore says "I'm touched." This, I believe, should be kept if "Dumbledore's man through and through" is kept.
Quote:

Originally Posted by ArryGrotter
I don't think there is enough importance on this scene, but then again there wasn't much in the book. Hmmm....

Yes, there are better ways to make the audience question Snape's loyalty then this scene (Hagrid saying that Dumbledore was angry with Snape). Also, the audience will be incredibly confused by it, since it would only quickly be resolved in DH. This scene should be cut.

The Journey from Platform Nine and Three Quarters "Cuttables":    


  On one platform is a big plastic ‘9’ and on the platform next to it is a big plastic ‘10’. Vernon smiles evilly.

VERNON DURSLEY
Well, there you are, boy. Platform nine - platform ten. Your platform should be somewhere in the middle, but they don't seem to have built it yet.

The Dursley’s depart.

VERNON DURSLEY (CONT’D)
Have a good term.

Vernon and Dudley start laughing at once. Petunia on the other hand, looks at the barrier between the two platforms for a few seconds then begins to laugh like her husband and son.

Harry is alone with a trolley carrying his trunk and his pet owl, Hedwig. Just when he begins to become worried, he hears a voice.

...

NEVILLE LONGBOTTOM
Gran, I've lost my toad again.

AUGUSTA LONGBOTTOM
Oh, Neville.

Harry finds an empty carriage and tries to lift through the carriage door. It drops onto his foot.

GEORGE WEASLEY
Want a hand?

Fred and George Weasley spot Harry’s trouble.

HARRY POTTER
Yes, please.

Together the three of them...

INT. HOGWARTS EXPRESS COMPARTMENT - LATE MORNING
(1/9/1991)

...get the trunk into Harry’s compartment. Subconsciously, Harry sweeps his hair of his forehead with his hand, revealing the scar on his forehead.

FRED WEASLEY
What’s that?

GEORGE WEASLEY
Blimey, are you?

FRED WEASLEY
He is. Aren’t you?

HARRY POTTER
What?

FRED WEASLEY / GEORGE WEASLEY
Harry Potter!

HARRY POTTER
Oh - Yes - I am.

They both stare at Harry.

MOLLY WEASLEY (O.S.)
Fred? George? Are you there?

With one last look at Harry, the twins leave.

Harry positions himself so he can see what is happening down at the station.

MOLLY WEASLEY (O.S.) (CONT’D)
Ron, you've got something on your nose.

INT. PLATFORM NINE AND THREE QUARTERS - LATE MORNING
(CONTINUOUS ACTION) (1/9/1991)

Ron jerks away as Molly rubs the end of his nose with her handkerchief, then turns to Percy who is just about to leave for the front carriage.

MOLLY WEASLEY
Well, have a good term and send me an owl when you get there.

She kisses him on the cheek and he departs. She then turns on the twins.

MOLLY WEASLEY (CONT’D)
Now, you two. If I get one more owl telling me you've - you've blown up a toilet or -

FRED WEASLEY
Blown up a toilet? We've never blown up a toilet.

GEORGE WEASLEY
Great idea though, Mum.

MOLLY WEASLEY
It's not funny. And look after Ron.

FRED WEASLEY
Don't worry, ickle Ronniekins is safe with us.

RON WEASLEY
Shut up.

GEORGE WEASLEY
Hey Mum, guess what!

INT. HOGWARTS EXPRESS COMPARTMENT - LATE MORNING
(CONTINUOUS ACTION) (1/9/1991)

Harry leans back so they can’t notice him looking.

GEORGE WEASLEY (O.S.)
Guess who we just met on the train?

INT. PLATFORM NINE AND THREE QUARTERS - LATE MORNING
(CONTINUOUS ACTION) (1/9/1991)
FRED WEASLEY
You know that black-haired boy who was near us in the station?

MOLLY WEASLEY
Who?

FRED WEASLEY
Harry Potter!

Ginny suddenly becomes excited.

GINNY WEASLEY
Oh, Mum, can I go on the train and see him, Mum, oh please...

MOLLY WEASLEY
You've already seen him, Ginny, and the poor boy isn't something you goggle at in a zoo. How do you know, Fred?

FRED WEASLEY
Asked him. Saw his scar. It's really there - like lightning.

MOLLY WEASLEY
Poor dear - no wonder he was alone.

FRED WEASLEY
Do you think he remembers what You-Know-Who looks like?

MOLLY WEASLEY
I forbid you to ask him, Fred. As though he needs reminding of that on his first day at school.

FRED WEASLEY
All right, keep your hair on.

A whistle sounds. Molly kisses each of them. Ginny starts to cry.

FRED WEASLEY (CONT’D)
Don't, Ginny, we'll send you loads of owls.

GEORGE WEASLEY
We'll send you a Hogwarts toilet seat.

MOLLY WEASLEY
George!

GEORGE WEASLEY
Only joking, Mum.

The train starts to move. The door shuts and Ginny starts to run after the train.
  


All of what is in there (it is not the entire thing) can be cut, along with much more. You did not truly write a script - you basically copied the book's dialogue. While I like the book's words more, it simply does not work in the film, unless you want the movie to be 3 hours. If you are aiming for a 2 hour - 2 and a half hour movie, a lot of that should be cut. I think the current SS film did a pretty decent job on cutting what was unnecessary.
Quote:

Originally Posted by ArryGrotter
PS OpeningEXT. THE POTTER’S COTTAGE - GODRIC’S HOLLOW - EVENING
(31/10/1981)

A gate is left open in front of a cottage, is curtains fully drawn and its door blasted open.

SYBILL TRELAWNEY (V.O.)
(In a hoarse voice)
The one with the power to vanquish the Dark Lord...

INT. HARRY’S ROOM - THE POTTER’S COTTAGE - GODRIC’S HOLLOW - EVENING

An infant (1-YEAR-OLD HARRY POTTER) stares at a hooded figure (VOLDEMORT). Light catches its face and Harry begins to cry.

VOLDEMORT
Avada Kedavra!

EXT. THE POTTER’S COTTAGE - GODRIC’S HOLLOW - EVENING
(31/10/1981)

Green light erupts from an upstairs room. Sounds of agony can be heard, both from Harry and Voldemort

SYBILL TRELAWNEY (V.O.)
...approaches...

The title “Harry Potter and the Philosopher’s Stone” fills the screen.

I must admit I do not like this (from the common movie audience's perspective). It sparks too much confusion at the outset. While the scene itself would eventually be understood, Trelawney's prophecy is just randomly placed. None of the prophecy should be introduced until Book 5. I would only put your scene in a movie trailer (even then, it would be questionable). However, as an opening to SS, it simply does not satisfy what needs to occur.
Quote:

Originally Posted by IenjoyAcidPops
DUMBLEDORE
Well, Harry, shall we be off? I know a lost cause when I see one.

SLUGHORN
Alright, alright, I'll do it!

Too abrupt.
Quote:

Originally Posted by shaun0505
HBP Opening:    


  A crane shot of the country lane. The sky is clear. In the distant a noble manor house can be seen, lights glimmering in the night.
Several loud cracks are heard followed by a bang. Two men have appeared in the lane. One of them is lying on the floor, the other stands over him, a small wooden wand in his hand.

YAXLEY
Snape, whatch'a playing at?

SNAPE
Apologies Yaxley, yet you could have been anyone.

Yaxley gets to his feet and the pair make their way to a iron gate in front of the manor house. They pass through and make their way up the lane to the house.

YAXLEY
I would have got here sooner but I got held back. (He pauses) You are sure that your news is correct.

SNAPE
If everything goes to plan. The Dark Lords work the past sixteen years will finally be worth it.

YAXLEY
You mean Potter? What-

Yaxley is cut off as they reach the door of the Manor. Snape knocks and several seconds later a pale boy (Draco Malfoy) opens the door and lets Snape and Yaxley through.
Yaxley and Snape make their way through the house to a back room where a large group of people are sat around a table. Snape sits next to the tallest man, who is sat stroking a large snake. Yaxley sits.

VOLDEMORT
Snape, what news do you have?

SNAPE
They are moving the boy earlier than we anticipated, the twenty seventh is the date I have heard.

YAXLEY
Why would they do that? If his protection ends on the thirty-first it would seem foolish to leave any earlier.

SNAPE
The order, believes that we think exactly that way Yaxley. They are moving him earlier as they think that we will go on the thirty-first.

VOLDEMORT
Indeed. I wondered whether... No matter. Yet we should not be too confident. It would be a blow if he left and we were not informed. Where will they be taking him?

SNAPE
The Burrow. But the protection there will be too great to get him. That is, if we fail.

VOLDEMORT
Which is why we must not. I have been too careless where Harry Potter is concerned. That he lives is more of my failure than his triumphs. I must deal with him myself.

There is silence around the table. Draco Malfoy is staring out into space and not paying attention to the meeting.

VOLDEMORT
You will notice, we have a guest with us this evening.

He points upwards where is figure is slowly rotating.

VOLDEMORT
This, is Professor Burbage, who until most recently, taught at Hogwarts school. She also wrote a lengthy article in the Daily Prophet about how muggles should be treated as equals and how we should embrace them. Obviously I couldn't let such a person to miss out on our meeting.

BURBAGE
Severus... please....

VOLDEMORT
Were you taught by Burbage, Draco?

Draco turns and shakes his head.

VOLDEMORT
Of course. Burbage taught Muggle Studies. And you are of noble blood. Of course you would not take her subject.

BURBAGE
Severus please! Help me!

Snape ignores Burbage. Voldemort withdraws a long thin wand.

VOLDEMORT
Avada Kedavra!

Burbage falls to the table with a crash. The snake slowly falls off Voldemort's shoulders as he says

VOLDEMORT
Dinner, Nagini...

END OF SCENE
  


I must admit I do not like this. While perfect for the book, the movie cannot introduce two brand-new characters in the opening scene. Definitely cut Yaxley, and probably cut Burbage. I would substitute Charity with someone the audience should know (do not ask me who – I have been thinking about this issue for some time – just not Charity). Also, I would not mention the pureblood status. All the audience needs to know is that Voldemort is hunting Harry, and anyone who isn’t a Death Eater can go. Cut the pureblood and Muggle-born Registry themes. To be blunt, the audience will not care (well, we fans will, but not the ordinary audience member).

Thus, use this scene to define Snape’s character (and show the information about Harry that he knows), as well as reintroduce characters like Bellatrix and the Malfoys (and possibly Wormtail). However, I do think that a death is necessary in this scene.

Meanwhile, I also disagree with your opening (the title coming before anything else). It should be commonly known that I immensely dislike the title just appearing out of a fog, before the audience sees anything but the WB logo. Instead, have the title erupt out of the Avada Kedavra curse (I would not say “Dinner, Nagini,” but just introduce the snake in the scene). Or, if you do not want it to resemble GoF too much (the Frank Bryce scene), you could have Nagini ready to strike the body, and as she opens her mouth and clamps it, the title appears.

underscore January 15th, 2008 7:51 am

Re: Fan Scripts: Script your own version of Harry Potter
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by Blast_ended (Post 4876761)
You can see my script of DH here. It is professionally formated and I worked really hard about it. I'd like to hear feedback.

Enjoy!

Your dialogue is very heavy. The action description is too sparse. You also need to streamline the events and thread them together more tightly. Too many scene-to-scene cuts. Try merging different events into single scene/settiings. It takes you 50 pages just to get up to the point where they start going camping (which is where the story actually begins)--that's bad. Having to wait 50 minutes just to get to that point is definately going to put everyone to sleep. Is the first chapter to the book really all that necessary, I wonder.

Phrozenone January 18th, 2008 3:49 pm

Re: Fan Scripts: Script your own version of Harry Potter
 
Option:    


  INT-BOYS DORMITORY/GRYFFINDOR COMMON ROOM-NIGHT (MOMENTS LATER)

The scene cuts to a shot of the bottle and pans back to see Harry looking at it

HARRY
Well, here goes.

He takes a little sip out of it.

HERMIONE
What does it feel like?

The screen gets this little haze over it showing that the potion is working.

HARRY
Excellent! Right…I’m going down to Hagrids!

HERMIONE AND RON
What!

HERMIONE
You’ve got to go and see Slughorn!

HARRY
No, I’m going to Hagrids, I’ve got a good feeling about going to Hagrids!

He grabs his invisibility cloak and puts it on. He proceeds to walk down the stairs as Hermione and Ron follow. Harry walks out of the door and we see Lavender standing there as Hermione and Ron come out of the door.

LAVENDER
What are you doing up there with her!

We see Harry walk towards the portrait hole and Ginny and Dean come throw. He walks past them and brushes lightly against Ginny.

GINNY
Don’t push me, please, Dean! You’re always doing that, I can get through perfectly well on my own…

EXT. HOGWARTS GROUNDS-NIGHT (MOMENTS LATER)

Harry is now outside walking towards Hagids and we see Slughorn walking towards him. Harry smiles and simply takes off the Cloak and runs towards him.

SLUGHORN
Merlin’s beard! Harry, how did you get out of the castle?

HARRY
Filch must’ve forgotten to lock the doors.

SLUGHORN
Why are you out here?

HARRY
You see sir, it’s Hagrid, he’s pretty upset. But you won’t tell anyone, Professor? I don’t want trouble for him…

SLUGHORN
Well I can’t promise that, but I know that Dumbledore trusts Hagrid to the hilt.

HARRY
Well, it’s this giant spider, he’s had it for years, it lived in the forest and could talk and everything. It died last night, and he wants company while he buries it and I said I’d go.

SLUGHORN
I heard rumors there were acromantulas in the forest. And their venom is very valuable indeed, and the creature just died, seems like an awful waste not to collect it.

HARRY
Well, if you wanted to come, Professor, Hagrid would probably be really pleased.

Harry smiles as he see’s the look of excitement in Slughorns eyes and the scene cuts to…

INT. HAGRIDS HUT-NIGHT (MOMENTS LATER)

HAGRID
I had him from an egg, yeh know. Thank ye for coming out tonight.

SLUGHORN
No problem Hagrid, it’s our pleasure.
(We see him turn around and pull out the bottle full of poison.)
It was my pleasure.
(He chuckles and puts it back in his pocket.)

HAGRID
Do you’ wan anything to drink?

SLUGHORN
Why…yes…

INT. HAGRID HUT-LATER THAT NIGHT

Hagrid and Slughorn hit mugs together sloppily. Its apparent they’ve been drinking for quite some time now.

HAGRID
I’d like to…make a toast..Harry Potter!

SLUGHORN
Yes, indeed! Parry Otter, the Chosen Boy Who…well…
(He starts to sing)
And Odo the hero, they bore him back home. To the place that he’d known as a lad….

HAGRID
The good die young…me dad was no age ter go…nor were yer mum an’ dad Harry…terrible thing.

SLUGHORN
Sorry, can’t carry a tune to save my life.

HARRY
Hagrid wasn’t talking about your singing; he was talking about my mum and dad dying.

SLUGHORN
Oh, terrible. I don’t suppose you remember it, Harry?

HARRY
No, I was only one when they died. My dad died first, did you know that?

SLUGHORN
I…I didn’t.

HARRY
Yeah, Voldemort murdered him and then stepped over his body towards my mum. He told her to get out of the way. He told her she needn’t have died, he only wanted me. She could have run.

SLUGHORN
Oh dear, that’s awful…

HARRY
It is, isn’t it! She didn’t move, dad was already dead, but she didn’t want me to go too. She tried to plead with him…but he just laughed…

SLUGHORN
That’s enough! Really, my dear boy, I’m an old man…I don’t need to hear…

HARRY
I forgot, you liked her, didn’t you.

SLUGHORN
Liked her? I don’t imagine anyone who met her wouldn’t have liked her….

HARRY
But you won’t help her son. She gave me her life, but you won’t give me a memory.

SLUGHORN
(His eyes filled with tears.)
Don’t say that…if it were to help you, of course…but no purpose can be served.

HARRY
It can. I am the Chosen One. I have to kill him. I need that memory.

SLUGHORN
You are the Chosen One?

HARRY
Of course I am.

SLUGHORN
You’re asking a great deal…to aid you in your attempt to destroy…

HARRY
You don’t want to get rid of the wizard who killed Lily Evans?

SLUGHORN
OF course I do Harry, but….

HARRY
You’re scared he’ll find out you helped me? Be brave like my mother, Professor.

SLUGHORN
I am not proud of what that memory shows…I think I may have done great damage that day.

HARRY
You’d cancel out anything you did by giving me that memory. It would be a very brave and noble thing to do.

Slughorn stares at Harry for a second and the camera zoom’s in on Harry’s eyes. Slughorn then pulls his wand out. He places the tip of his wand to his head and pulls out the long threads of the memory and places it into a bottle and corks it. He hands it to Harry.

HARRY
Thank you very much, Professor.

SLUGHORN
You’re a good boy, and you’ve got her eyes…just don’t think too badly of me once you’ve seen it.

(He yawns and then lays back and falls asleep.)

INT. DUMBLEDORE’S OFFICE-LATER THAT NIGHT

The spell vision is gone as Hary knocks on Dumbledore’s office door

DUMBLEDORE
Enter!
(Harry walks in)
Good gracious Harry, to what do I owe this very late pleasure?

HARRY
Sir, I’ve got the memory from Slughorn.
(He pulls it out and shows it to him.)

DUMBLEDORE
Spectacular Harry! Very well done indeed! I knew you could do it!
(He walks up to Harry and takes the bottle and walks over to the Pensive.)
And finally, we shall see.

He pours it into the pensive and we see Dumbledore smile at Harry. We now see Harry and Dumbledore standing in the same room where Tom Riddle and Slughorn was in the earlier memory.

INT-SLUGHORNS OFFICE-NIGHT (20? YEARS AGO)

SLUGHORN
Thank you for the pineapple, by the way, you’re quite right, it is my favorite. I confidently expect you to rise to the Minister of Magic within twelve years!

TOM
I don’t know that politics would suit me sir.

SLUGHORN
Nonsense! You’ll go far Tom, I’ve never been wrong about a student yet!
(Tom looks over at his friends and they all smile.)
Good gracious, is it that time already? You’d better get going boys, or we’ll all be in trouble. Lestrange, I want your essay by tomorrow or it’s detention. Same goes for you, Avery.

Everyone leaves except Tom.

SLUGHORN
What is it Tom, you don’t want to be caught out of bed.

TOM
Sir I wanted to ask you something.

SLUGHORN
Ask away, m’boy!

TOM
I wondered, sir, what you know about…Horcruxes?

SLUGHORN
Project for Defense Against the Dark Arts, is it?

TOM
Not exactly sir, I came across the term while reading and I didn’t fully understand it.

SLUGHORN
You’d be hard pushed to find a book at Hogwarts that’ll give you details on Horcruxes. That’s very Dark stuff Tom.

TOM
You obviously know all about them, I mean a wizard like you. If you can’t tell me, I’d understand. I just knew if anyone could tell me, you could.

SLUGHORN
Well, it can’t hurt to give you an overview. A Horcrux is the word used for an object in which a person has concealed part of their soul.

TOM
I don’t quite understand how that works, though, sir.

SLUGHORN
Well, you split your soul, you see. And hide part of it in an object outside the body. Then, even if one’s body is attacked or destroyed, one cannot die, for part of their soul remains earthbound and undamaged. Few would want this however Tom, death would be preferable.

TOM
How do you split your soul?

SLUGHORN
By an act of evil, the supreme act of evil. By committing murder. Killing rips the soul apart. The wizard intent upon creating a Horcrux would use the damage to his advantage: He would encase the torn portion…

TOM
Encase? But how…

SLUGHORN
There is a spell, do not ask me, I don’t know. Do I look as though I have tried it?

TOM
No sir, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to offend you.

SLUGHORN
Not offended Tom, it’s natural to feel curiousity about these things.

TOM
Sir, what I want to know is, will one Horcrux be much use? Can you only split your soul once? Wouldn’t it be better, make you stronger, to have your soul in more pieces, isn’t seven the most powerful magical number?

SLUGHORN
Merlin’s beard, Tom! Seven! Isn’t it bad enough to think of killing one person? In any case, it’s bad enough to divide the soul…but to rip it into seven pieces…this is all hypothetical, what we’re discussing isn’t it? All academic…

TOM
Yes, of course.

SLUGHORN
Keep it quiet, what I’ve told you. It’s a banned subject in Hogwarts…Dumbledore’s particularly fierce about it!

TOM
I won’t say a word sir.

He smiles and we see Dumbledore grab Harry’s shoulder and there’s a flash and they’re back in Dumbledore’s office.

INT. DUMBLEDORE’S OFFICE-NIGHT (PRESENT DAY)

DUMBLEDORE
Do you understand the significance of what we just saw Harry? Tom Riddle was doing all he could to find out how to make himself immortal.

HARRY
And do you think he succeeded sir?

DUMBLEDORE
Yes, Harry. As far as I know the most someone has split their souls was two. Four years ago I received something that gave me proof that he’d split his soul.

HARRY
What was it?

DUMBLEDORE
The diary, Tom Riddle’s diary, that you destroyed your second year.

There’s a quick flashback of Harry stabbing the diary with the baskalisk fang in Chamber of Secrets.

HARRY

Tha…That was a Horcrux sir?

DUMBLEDORE
Yes, and now thanks to that memory we are closer to finishing off Lord Voldemort. Seven, yes, I think the idea of a seven part soul would greatly appeal to him.

HARRY
He made seven Horcruxes? But they could be anywhere….

DUMBLEDORE
I’m glad to see you appreciate the magnitude of the problem. But it’s not seven Harry, it’s six, the final part is still within him.

HARRY
How are we supposed to find them?

DUMBLEDORE
Well you’ve destroyed one….and I’ve destroyed another…
(he raises his blackened hand into view.)
The ring, Marvolo’s ring. And a terrible curse there was upon it too. Had it not been for my own predigious skills, and for Professor Snapes timely action when I returned to Hogwarts, I might not have lived to tell the tale.

HARRY
So they can be in anything?

DUMBLEDORE
Voldermort wouldn’t put his soul in just anything. No, he would put it into objects worthy of honor. The diary was proof that he was Heir of Slytherian.

HARRY
Do you think you know what the others are?

DUMBLEDORE
I can only guess. I have been going back through his past to see if I can find evidence that great artifacts have disappeared…

HARRY
The locket! Hufflepuff’s cup!

DUMBLEDORE
Yes, Harry. They would make three and four. I’m guessing he set out to track down objects owned by Gryffindor or Ravenclaw. Four objects from the four founders. I’m also thinking that his snake Nagina holds another piece.

HARRY
So the diary’s gone, the ring’s gone. The cup, the locket, the snake, and you think that there might be a Horcrux that was once Ravenclaw’s or Gryffindor’s?

DUMBLEDORE
Accurate summary Harry.

HARRY
So is that why you’ve been leaving school sir?

DUMBLEDORE
Yes, I have been looking for a very long time. I may be close to finding another one.

HARRY
And if you do can I come with you and help get rid of it?

DUMBLEDORE
Yes, I think so.

HARRY
(Shocked)
I can?

DUMBLEDORE
Yes, Harry. I think you have earned the right.

HARRY
So if all of his Horcruxes are destroyed, Voldemort could be killed?

DUMBLEDORE
I think so Harry, yes. Without them he will be a mortal man with a maimed and diminished soul. Don’t forget however, as damaged as his soul is, his magical powers still remain intact. It will take uncommon skill and power to kill him.

HARRY
But I haven’t got uncommon skill and power.

DUMBLEDORE
You have a power that Voldemort never had. You can…

HARRY
Love, I know. Big deal!

DUMBLEDORE
Big deal? Do you not understand how unusual you are? By attempting to kill you Voldemort singled you out, because of him you’re able to see into his thoughts, ambitions, the snakelike language in which he gives orders, and yet, despite this you have never been seduced by the Dark Arts! Love, so strong a word, and I wish you would understand just how important it is that you have it. You are protected by this ability, in spite of all you’ve been through you’ve remained pure at heart.

HARRY
It all comes down to the same thing doesn’t it sir? I’ve got to try and kill him or…

DUMBLEDORE
Got to? Of course you’ve got to! Because you will never rest until you’ve tried. Imagine if you hadn’t of heard the prophecy Harry, how would you feel about Voldemort now?

HARRY
I’d want him finished….and I’d want to do it.
  


lupin_89 January 20th, 2008 8:30 pm

Re: Fan Scripts: Script your own version of Harry Potter
 
I've been reading this thread and it's replies for ages now and think its a great idea to script our own versions of we'd like the fims to be like. I've just started my own version of a script for Order of the Phoenix as no-one else in this thread seems to be doing that book, and hope to get the first part of it up here soon. :)

Lupin_89

IenjoyAcidPops February 4th, 2008 12:18 am

Re: Fan Scripts: Script your own version of Harry Potter
 
My next HBP stuff will be from the Burrow through the Hogwarts Express, but since I'm a bit stuck with rewrites there, I figured this would be a good time to post my first DH scene. Imperfect, of course, but I'm fairly happy with it.


INT. MALFOY MANOR - DRAWING ROOM
FADE IN
An apparently unconscious figure, the firelight in the room too dim for a face to be visible, rotates upside down in midair, as if controlled by invisible ropes. Pan left and down slightly, across a conference table packed with DEATH EATERS, including BELLATRIX LESTRANGE (gazing pleasurably at the bound figure above), NARCISSA MALFOY (looking determinedly away from the prisoner), and PETER PETTIGREW (seated so low in his chair that one mightn't see that it was occupied if they didn't look closely enough). We stop at the chair at the table's rear, in front of the fireplace at the back of the room, occupied by LORD VOLDEMORT himself. Two new arrivals, SEVERUS SNAPE and an unknown, then walk into the room and toward the conference table, making their obligatory glances upward as well.

VOLDEMORT
Yaxley, Snape, you are very nearly late. You have news?

SNAPE
My Lord, it seems the Order intends to move Potter from his current place of safety to the home of one of their own next Saturday, at nightfall.

VOLDEMORT
Good. Very good.

YAXLEY
My Lord, I have heard differently. It is the belief of the auror Dawlish that Potter is to be moved on the night of July 30th, just before his 17th birthday. He seemed quite certain.

SNAPE
He would seem certain if he had been bewitched to believe so to plant a false trail. The Order no longer trusts the Ministry, which means they would not allow classified information of this sort leaked within it; and they will not be using any means of transportation the Ministry can observe.

VOLDEMORT
He will need to move in the open then.

As he walks around the room, a snake the size of his thigh slithers by his side.

VOLDEMORT
That Harry Potter is alive today is more due to my failures than his triumphs. But I understand now what I did not before; I must be the one to kill Harry Potter, and I will be. I suspect the Order will ally with the Ministry to place any protection available to them over the boy's safehouse, and we will not be able to break those enchantments yet. We have begun our mission well, but Scrimgeour must be surrounded by our men before action can be taken. (turning to stare up at the suspended figure) The Ministry of Magic, once a noble magical institution, has allowed mudbloods, werewolves, and blood traitors to run free, but we shall cut away this..canker that infects us, until only the true blood remains. Lucius, I will require your wand. After all, I see no reason for you to have one any longer. (Lucius exchanges a small reluctant look with Narcissa. DRACO sits to Narcissa's left, failing to repress a look of simultaneous insatiable curiosity and genuine horror at the victim above.) Your wand, Lucius! (Lucius hands it over.) Ennervate!

The prisoner begins to return to consciousness.

VOLDEMORT
Yes, this will do fine. You recognize her, Draco? Of course, you will not have taken her classes. Severus, you will know her, no doubt.

As this woman struggles at her invisible bonds, Snape draws a maliciousl-but-slight grin.

SNAPE
Ah, yes.

WOMAN
Severus, please..help me...

VOLDEMORT
For those who do not know, we are joined tonight by Charity Burbage, who, until recently, taught Muggle Studies at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. Yes, "Professor" Burbage taught the children of the wizarding world that wizards and muggles are not so very different after all; and she even wrote an impassioned defense of mudbloods in 'The Daily Prophet'. Miss Burbage writes that the dwindling of the purebloods is a most desirable occurrence, that we should welcome and embrace these thieves of our knowledge, our magic...She would have us all mate with muggles..

CHARITY pleads with Snape as he and Bellatrix look on in anticipation:

CHARITY
Severus...please...

VOLDEMORT
Avada Kedavra!

The room is momentarily lit by the green glow of the killing curse as Charity Burbage drops onto the table, causing a few Death Eaters to jump back in their seats slightly, and Draco to fall out of his. Voldemort simply walks back across the room, the giant snake slithering by his side.

VOLDEMORT
Dinner, Nagini.
FADE OUT


And I went back and made a lot of revisions to "Will and Won't" and "Horace Slughorn" and I think they're both much better scenes now.

Blast_ended February 6th, 2008 3:51 pm

Re: Fan Scripts: Script your own version of Harry Potter
 
IenjoyAcidPops, your script is nice but it has two very major flaws in it: the characters of Yaxley and Charity, both will never be seen again. I would recommend switching Yaxley with Bellatrix (who will have a great role later), and Charity with Ollivander (just cut the murder - have him tortured for information, instead).

IenjoyAcidPops February 6th, 2008 7:09 pm

Re: Fan Scripts: Script your own version of Harry Potter
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by Blast_ended (Post 4920592)
IenjoyAcidPops, your script is nice but it has two very major flaws in it: the characters of Yaxley and Charity, both will never be seen again. I would recommend switching Yaxley with Bellatrix (who will have a great role later), and Charity with Ollivander (just cut the murder - have him tortured for information, instead).

I get what you're saying: as Bellatrix and Ollivander both have sizable roles in the plot later where Yaxley and Charity don't, intro Bella and Ollivander sooner. But I'd really rather just leave it as is because 1) Yaxley is just a prop, just a spy to bring some false info Voldy's way in this one scene (I'm cutting the Ministry break-in), so it's not really giving Bella any more screentime of value if I put her in his place, 2) I want to convey the idea that Voldemort really has raised an army, not just a small clump of regulars (I'm slightly warming up to that old suggestion of putting Bellatrix in the DE attack on Hogwarts in HBP.) 3) We'll see Ollivander being tortured soon enough, and with the whole Muggle-Born Registration Commission issue and all, I think it makes more sense for it to be Charity Burbage, and a much more powerful end to the scene and kick-off to the film. In my opinion, of course.

IenjoyAcidPops February 11th, 2008 5:20 am

Re: Fan Scripts: Script your own version of Harry Potter
 
And the Dursleys depart (this is, of course, just after the appearance of the title):


INT. #4 PRIVET DRIVE - THE DURSLEYS' HOUSE - SITTING ROOM
FADE IN
HARRY walks into the room as UNCLE VERNON paces, lost in thought. AUNT PETUNIA and DUDLEY sit on the couch waiting, surrounded by bags and suitcases; the sitting room is almost entirely empty.

HARRY
What is it this time?

VERNON
I've changed my mind.

HARRY
(sarcastic) There's a surprise.

PETUNIA
Do not take that tone -

VERNON
Now, now, Petunia. Well, boy, you claim this Lord..Voldything -

HARRY
Lord Voldemort, and we've been through this before; it's not a claim, it's a fact. He's been back for two years, and almost all The Order of the Phoenix are convinced that as the protection that keeps this place safe as long as I call it home runs out right when I turn 17, he'll be coming after you as soon as possible - whether it's to get information on me or because he thinks he can have at me by luring me here to save you.

Harry's and Vernon's eyes meet for a moment here, both clearly wondering the same thing.

HARRY
You need to go into hiding, and you're being offered the best protection there is. Hestia Jones and Dedalus Diggle are more than capable.

VERNON
Well, what am I to do about work - and Dudley's school?!

HARRY
None of that matters! Don't you understand, all this stuff that's been happening, the accidents, the disappearances, the deaths, it's all because of him. Even this mist - that's caused by the dementors; they're breeding. And if you don't remember what those are ask your son, he almost had his soul sucked out by one.

VERNON
Alright, alright, you've made your point!

HARRY
I hope so.

DUDLEY
Dementors...I didn't know there were more of them. (pause) Dad, I'm going with these Order people.

HARRY
Smartest thing you've ever said, Dudley.

And this seems to have made the decision for Vernon and Petunia as well, as the doorbell rings. Harry answers it to greet HESTIA JONES and DEDALUS DIGGLE of THE ORDER OF THE PHOENIX.

DEDALUS
Mr. Potter.

HESTIA
Hello, Harry.

HARRY
Hi guys, thanks for doing this.

DEDALUS
Oh, not at all, not at all. Well (stepping over the threshold followed by Hestia), good evening Harry Potter's relatives!

It appears the Dursleys do not enjoy being greeted thus.

DEDALUS
Harry's told you the plan, then? (The Dursleys nod - Vernon grunts slightly - in affirmation.) Excellent; well, then, shall we be off?

Although they stand at the ready, the Dursleys make no movement forward.

HESTIA
Oh, perhaps we should give them a moment alone.

DEDALUS
Oh yes, of course.

HARRY
No, really, there's no need.

HESTIA
Well, surely you'd want to see each other off; you are family, after all.

HARRY
Well, they don't think of me as family so much as a waste of space.

DUDLEY
I don't think you're a waste of space.

Somewhat shocked looks from Vernon, Petunia, and especially Harry follow this statement.

HARRY
Oh...well, thanks, Dudley.

Dudley seems to be looking for the right words to convey his feelings before he says:

DUDLEY
You saved my life.

Dudley walks forward a bit and reaches out his hand to shake Harry's.

HARRY
(shaking it in return) Blimey, Dudley, did the dementors blow a different personality into you?

DUDLEY
Dunno. Well, see you, Harry.

HARRY
...yeah, maybe.

Petunia takes this moment to walk over and hug/suffocate her son, sobbing "Dudders, that was so sweet".

VERNON
Well, are we going or not?

DEDALUS
Yes, we ought to be. We'll leave these things (pointing his wand to the luggage and sending it vanishing) waiting for us). And (shaking Harry's hand himself) good luck to you, Mr. Potter.

HESTIA
Our hopes lie with you.

HARRY
Er..right...

Dedalus and Hestia walk out followed by Vernon, who turns to give Harry a cursory "Goodbye, boy". Dudley escapes his mother's grip to follow after him, but Petunia remains hovering just outside the doorway, apparently wanting to say something herself.

PETUNIA
I-w-goodbye, then.

HARRY
Goodbye.





ArryGrotter February 13th, 2008 6:59 am

Re: Fan Scripts: Script your own version of Harry Potter
 
I'm so sorry I haven't been dedicated to this thread and I'm sory that I haven't been updating, but I'm afraid to say... I DO have a life!:lol:

Anyway...

I finally decided to write a bit more of PS (Maybe it was because the writer's strike was over:p). It's my lengthy first draft version, so PLEASE don't say "It's tooooooooooooooo long" cos I haven't got around to cutting things yet (That's stage 2)

So...

Here it is:    


  
PS: The Journey from Platform 9 3/4, The Sorting HatEXT. LAKE - HOGWARTS - EVENING
(CONTINUOUS ACTION) (1/9/1991)

The first-years (Harry, Ron, Hermione, NEVILLE LONGBOTTOM, DEAN THOMAS, SEAMUS FINNIGAN, PARVATI PATIL, LAVENDER BROWN, Draco Malfoy, Crabbe, Goyle, PANSY PARKINSON, BLAISE ZABINI, THEODORE NOTT, MILLICENT BULSTRODE, DAPHNE GREENGRASS, TRACEY DAVIS, PADMA PATIL, MICHAEL CORNER, ANTHONY GOLDSTEIN, TERRY BOOT, MANDY BROCKLEHURST, MORAG MCDOUGAL, LISA TURPIN, SU LI, STEPHEN CORNFOOT, KEVIN ENTWHISTLE, ERNIE MACMILLIAN, HANNAH ABBOTT, SUSAN BONES, JUSTIN FINCH-FLECHTLEY, MEGAN JONES, WAYNE HOPKINS , SALLY-ANN PERKS, plus 4 OTHER BOYS and 5 OTHER GIRLS) all gaze across the lake at a magnificent sight.

(^I might be a slight bit pedantic:whistle:)

A castle with seven floors and seven towers stands upon the cliff face: Hogwarts.

INT. UNDERGROUND HARBOUR - HOGWARTS - EVENING
(1/9/1991)

The boats sail smoothly into the harbour and, once the boats moor, the first-years hop out.

RUBEUS HAGRID
Oy, you there! Is this your toad?

Neville Longbottom turns back to see Hagrid scooping a toad out of one of the boats.

NEVILLE LONGBOTTOM
Trevor!

Most of the other first-years laugh. Neville takes Trevor, rather embrassingly.

EXT. HOGWARTS GROUNDS - EVENING
(1/9/1991)

Hagrid and the first-years come out from a passageway and make their way towards a huge, oak door.

RUBEUS HAGRID
Everyone here?
(To Neville)
You there, still got yer toad?

Neville nods. Hagrid raises an enormous fist and knocks the door.
It swings opens at once to show a very stern woman waiting for them. It is Minerva McGonagall, 10 years older.

RUBEUS HAGRID (CONT’D)
The firs' years, Professor McGonagall.

MINERVA MCGONAGALL
Thank you, Hagrid. I will take them from here.

INT. ENTRANCE HALL - HOGWARTS - EVENING
(CONTINUOUS ACTION) (1/9/1991)

The first-years follow McGonagall inside. Hagrid slips through a large doorway to the right and Harry notices that the rest of the school is in there.

MINERVA MCGONAGALL
Welcome to Hogwarts. The start-of-term banquet will begin shortly, but before you take your seats in the Great Hall, you will be sorted into your houses. The Sorting is a very important ceremony because, while you are here, your house will be something like your family within Hogwarts. You will have classes with the rest of your house, sleep in your house dormitory, and spend free time in your house common room. The four houses are called Gryffindor, Hufflepuff, Ravenclaw, and Slytherin. Each house has its own noble history and each has produced outstanding witches and wizards. While you are at Hogwarts, your triumphs will earn your house points, while any rulebreaking will lose house points. At the end of the year, the house with the most points is awarded the house cup, a great honor. I hope each of you will be a credit to whichever house becomes yours. The Sorting Ceremony will take place in a few minutes in front of the rest of the school. I suggest you all smarten yourselves up as much as you can while you are waiting. I shall return when we are ready for you. Please wait quietly.

(NB: I will defianatly cut some of that)

McGonagall also goes through the right hand doorway (to the Great Hall).

HARRY POTTER
How exactly do they sort us into houses?

RON WEASLEY
Some sort of test, I think. Fred said it hurts a lot, but I think he was joking.

Harry looks a bit scared at this prospect. Everyone is quiet, except...

HERMIONE GRANGER
I wonder which spell we’ll be tested on. Maybe we’ll need to -

But her eyes suddenly widen. Harry jumps and few people scream.

Twenty ghosts, transparent and pearly white in colour, glide thorough the wall the wall and through the marble staircase.

FAT FRIAR
Forgive and forget, I say, we ought to give him a second chance -

NEARLY-HEADLESS NICK
'My dear Friar, haven't we given Peeves all the chances he deserves? He gives us all a bad name and you know, he's not really even a ghost -
(Noticing the first-years)
I say, what are you all doing here?

No one answers.

FAT FRIAR
New students! About to be Sorted, I suppose?

A few fist-years nod or smile

FAT FRIAR (CONT’D)
Hope to see you in Hufflepuff! My old house, you know.

MINERVA MCGONAGALL
Move along now. The Sorting Ceremony's about to start.

McGonagall returns and the ghosts glide along the corridor opposote the Great Hall.

MINERVA MCGONAGALL (CONT’D)
Now, follow me.

Harry and Ron get into line and walk through the right hand doors to...

INT. GREAT HALL - HOGWARTS - EVENING
(CONTINUOUS ACTION) (1/9/1991)

...the Great Hall. Thousands of candles float near the ceiling which looks like the sky outside.

HERMIONE GRANGER
(To the person next to her)
Its bewitched to look like the sky outside. I read about it in Hogwarts, A History.

On either side of the first-years are two long tables of students and right up the front, a table of staff.

Near the staff table is a patched and frayed pointed hat, sitting atop a three legged stool. Everyone in the hall stares at it.

Suddenly, miraculously, a rip appeared and the hat begins to sing.

SORTING HAT
Oh, you may not think I'm pretty, But don't judge on what you see, I'll eat myself if you can find A smarter hat than me. You can keep your bowlers black, Your top hats sleek and tall, For I'm the Hogwarts Sorting Hat And I can cap them all. There's nothing hidden in your head The Sorting Hat can't see, So try me on and I will tell you Where you ought to be. You might belong in Gryffindor, Where dwell the brave at heart, Their daring, nerve, and chivalry Set Gryffindors apart; You might belong in Hufflepuff, Where they are just and loyal, Those patient Hufflepuffis are true And unafraid of toil; Or yet in wise old Ravenclaw, if you've a ready mind, Where those of wit and learning, Will always find their kind; Or perhaps in Slytherin You'll make your real friends, Those cunning folk use any means To achieve their ends. So put me on! Don't be afraid! And don't get in a flap! You're in safe hands, though I have none For I'm a Thinking Cap!

The whole hall applauds.

RON WEASLEY
So we've just got to try on the hat! I'll kill Fred, he was going on about wrestling a troll.

MINERVA MCGONAGALL
Hannah Abbot.

(I don't have a clue how to format this scene to my liking but this is my best go at it)

LATER

Hannah sits apon the stool with the sorting hat on.

SORTING HAT
Hufflepuff!

LATER

MINERVA MCGONAGALL
Susan Bones.

LATER

Susan now sits apon the stool with the sorting hat on.

SORTING HAT
Hufflepuff!

LATER

MINERVA MCGONAGALL
Terry Boot.

SORTING HAT (V.O.)
Ravenclaw!

LATER

MINERVA MCGONAGALL
Mandy Brocklehurst.

LATER

MINERVA MCGONAGALL (CONT’D)
Millicent Bulstrode

LATER

MINERVA MCGONAGALL (CONT’D)
Michael Corner

LATER

Michael sits apon the stool with the sorting hat on.

SORTING HAT
Ravenclaw!

LATER

Vincent Crabbe sits apon the stool with the sorting hat on.

SORTING HAT (CONT’D)
Slytherin!

LATER

Tracey Davis sits apon the stool with the sorting hat on.

SORTING HAT (CONT’D)
Slytherin!

LATER

Justin Finch-Fletchly sits apon the stool with the sorting hat on.

SORTING HAT (CONT’D)
Hufflepuff

LATER

The amount of first-years have thinned.

MINERVA MCGONAGALL
Hermione Granger.

Hermione almost runs to the stool and jams the hat on her head.

A moment’s pause. Then...

SORTING HAT
Gryffindor!

Ron groans.

LATER

Neville sits anxiously on the stool with the sorting hat on. It opens it’s rip... but closes it. Again this happens. The hat looks down at Neville and Neville looks even more anxious then finally...

SORTING HAT (CONT’D)
Gryffindor!

Neville runs off towards the Gryffindor table, amongst laughter still wearing the hat.

LATER

MINERVA MCGONAGALL
Draco Malfoy.

Draco comes forward. He is not even sitting down and the hat is barely touching his head, when...

SORTING HAT
Slytherin!

Draco goes toward the Slytherin table, very pleased with himself.

LATER

MINERVA MCGONAGALL
Pansy Parkinson.

LATER

MINERVA MCGONAGALL (CONT’D)
Padma Patil.

LATER

MINERVA MCGONAGALL (CONT’D)
Parvati Patil.

LATER

MINERVA MCGONAGALL (CONT’D)
Sally-Anne Perks.

LATER

MINERVA MCGONAGALL (CONT’D)
Harry Potter.

The hall suddenly goes quiet, then erupts with conversations.
Harry sits down on the stool and the hat is placed on his head. A small voice can be heard.

SORTING HAT (O.S.)
Hmm... Difficult. Very difficult. Plenty of courage, I see. Not a bad mind either. There's talent, A my goodness, yes - and a nice thirst to prove yourself, now that's interesting... So where shall I put you?

With all his might, Harry thinks:

HARRY POTTER (V.O.)
Not Slytherin... Not Slytherin...

SORTING HAT (O.S.)
Not Slytherin, eh? Are you sure? You could be great, you know, it's all here in your head, and Slytherin will help you on the way to greatness, no doubt about that - no? Well, if you're sure - better be...

SORTING HAT (CONT’D)
(To everyone in the hall)
Gryffindor!

Everyone cheers. Harry looks to Ron as he passes the line of first-years still to be sorted and sees him clapping, but looking nervous. At the Gryffindor table, Ron’s brothers chant.

GEORGE WEASLEY
We’ve got Potter!

FRED WEASLEY
We’ve got Potter!

Harry sits near to the ghost he saw earlier (Nearly-Headless Nick) who pats him on the shoulder. Harry shivers as he does so.

SORTING HAT
Ravenclaw!

Lisa Turpin goes towards the Ravenclaw table.

MINERVA MCGONAGALL
Ron Weasley.

Ron, pale sits on the stool. Harry crosses his fingers.

SORTING HAT
Gryffindor!

Harry claps loudy. Ron makes his way towards the Gryfindor table and sits next to Harry.

MINERVA MCGONAGALL
(In the background)
Blaise Zabini

One of Ron’s brother’s leans across Harry.

PERCY WEASLEY
(Pompously)
Well done, Ron, excellent.

SORTING HAT
Slytherin!

McGonagall rolls up her scroll of parchment and takes away the stool. Harry stares hungrily at his empty plate.
At the staff table, Albus Dumbledore (10 years older) gets to his feet.

ALBUS DUMBLEDORE
Welcome to a new year at Hogwarts! Before we begin our banquet, I would like to say a few words. And here they are: Nitwit! Blubber! Oddment! Tweak! Thank you.

Harry stares blankly at Dunbledore.

HARRY POTTER
Is he - a bit mad?

PERCY WEASLEY
Mad? He's a genius! Best wizard in the world! But he is a bit mad, yes. Potatoes, Harry?

Harry looks shocked and surprised. Almost anything possibly edible is now lying on the once empty table. Harry piles up his plate.
  


Phrozenone February 23rd, 2008 2:06 am

Re: Fan Scripts: Script your own version of Harry Potter
 
While posting in the HBP Thread I realize I for some reason stop posting here :lol:

Ok a fair warning before you read this....yes I cut out Harry going to the RoR...why...because at the time I had no idea it would turn out to be important...guess I suck at clues and suck lol

Of course if I have the chance to do a rewrite I will of course add the scene back in...but it's still cool to see where my mind was on cuts pre-DH and how many things I will now change...tell me what you guys think.

caption:    


  INT. THE GREAT HALL-EVENING

All the houses are in the Great Hall having dinner. Lavender is sitting down the table glaring at Hermione. Hermione clears her throat and proceeds to eat her dinner and Ron turns to Harry.

RON
We split up Harry, when she saw me coming out of the dormitory with Hermione. She couldn’t see you because of the cloak, been giving me the evil eye all morning..

HARRY
Well you don’t mind it’s over, do you?

RON
No, it was pretty bad while she was yelling, but atleast I didn’t have to finish it

HERMIONE
Coward! Well, it was a bad night for romance all around. Ginny and Dean broke up as well.

(She gives Harry a slight smile)

HARRY
Really? Why?

HERMIONE
Something silly about him always trying to help her through the portrait hole.

Harry looks over at Dean who is picking angrily at his food and then see’s a group of people around Katie Bell who finally just returned from the hospital.

HERMIONE
Glad to see Katie’s doing better. Did you talk to her?

HARRY
Yeah, she doesn’t remember anything. Just great. Still have no idea what Malfoy is up too…maybe I could take another sip of Felix…

HERMIONE
Harry that’ll be a waste of potion. You’ll need all the luck you can get if Dumbledore takes you along with him…

Ginny walks into the Great Hall in a hurry and stops to talk to them

GINNY
Hey guys.

RON
Well where have you been?

GINNY
Have you not figured it out yet Ron that I don’t have to tell you anything.

RON
You need to watch your mouth!

HARRY
Ron lay off. Ginny, are you…ok?

GINNY
Yeah I’m fine,. Can’t stay
(She grabs a piece of food.)
Have class, later.

She starts to walk off and once again we see Harry with a struggling look on his face. His friendship or his heart, which would he choose? Should he ask her, is now the right time?

HARRY
(He jumps up)
GINNY!

GINNY
Yes Harry?

HARRY
I…um…I…nevermind.

GINNY
(She smiles)
Whenever you’re ready Harry.

INT. DARK CORRIDOR/BOYS BATHROOM-NIGHT

Harry is walking down a dark corridor alone. He hears crying off in the distance and goes to see whats wrong. The sound is coming from the Boys Bathroom. Harry walk towards the boys bathroom and peaks his head in the door and we sees Draco on the floor crying and Moaning Mrytle beside him.

MOANING MYRTLE
Don’t…please…tell me what’s wrong…I can help you.

DRACO
No one can help me now, I can’t do it. It won’t work…and unless I do it soon…he says he’ll kill me.

Harry moves his foot and there’s a creak. Malfoy looks up in the mirror and see’s Harry standing there. He quickly pulls out his wand and a spell flies off his wand hitting the wall beside Harry. Harry pulls out his wand and throws out a spell and Malfoy blocks it.

MOANING MYRTLE
STOP! STOP IT BOTH OF YOU!

Malfoy throws another non verbal spell that Harry ducks and it explodes the toilet behind him. Harry throws a spell that Malfoy jumps out of the way and it goes through Mytle who screams.

DRACO
I’ve had enough of your meddling Potter!

HARRY
So finish it then!

MALFOY
Crucio!

Harry ducks behind into a stall and narrowly avoids the curse.

HARRY
(He takes a deep breath and quickly points his wand at Malfoy)
EXPELLIARMUS!

DRACO
PROTEGO!

The spell deflects back onto Harry knocking him off of his feet. Harry immeditley jumps to his feet as Draco points his wand at him.

DRACO
Cruci…

HARRY
SECTUMSEMPRA!

Blood shots from Malfoys chest and some splatters on his face and on the mirror right behind him. He staggers back and collapses on the floor shaking as he bleeds heavily.

HARRY
No…I didn’t…

MOANING MYRTLE
MURDER! MURDER IN THE BATHROOM! MURDER!!!

The door flies open and Snape runs in. He looks at Harry and then quickly at Draco’s bloody body on the floor. He runs and kneels down to Malfoy. He pulls out his wand and starts to mutter an incantation under his breathe. The blood flow starts to stop and we see the wounds knitting themselves. He helps Malfoy up, who is slouching in pain still.

SNAPE
You need the hospital wing.
(Malfoy puts his arm around Snapes neck and they begin to walk out of the bathroom.)
And you Potter…you wait here for me.

They walk out of the door and the scene cuts to Harry staring at the mirror in the bathroom with a look of shock still in his eyes. He can’t believe he almost killed Malfoy. Snape walks into the bathroom and closes the door behind him.

HARRY
I didn’t mean it to happen, I didn’t know what that spell did.

SNAPE
Apparently I underestimated you, Potter. Who would have thought you knew such Dark Magic? Who taught you that spell?

HARRY
I…read it somewhere.

SNAPE
Where?

HARRY
It was a library book, I can’t remember what it was called.

SNAPE
(Snape stares at him for a second, Harry realizing he’s looking into his mind looks away suddenly.)
You know what I think, Potter? I think you are a liar and a cheat and that you will pay for what you’ve done.

They stare at each other for a second and the scene cuts to Harry, Ron, and Hermione sitting outside of Hogwarts.

EXT. COURTYARD-AFTERNOON

HARRY
I got detention every Saturday until the end of term, I’m going to miss the last match of the year.

HERMIONE
You’re lucky that’s all you got. I won’t say I told you so…

RON
Leave it, Hermione.

HERMIONE
I told you there was something wrong with that Prince person Harry and I was right wasn’t I?

HARRY
No, I don’t think you were.

HERMIONE
How can you still stick up for that book when that spell…

HARRY
The Prince only copied it out Hermione! It’s not like he was advising anyone to use it!

Ginny walks up towards them.

GINNY
What’s going on?

HERMIONE
He’s defending that Prince person when I’ve told him since day one it was bad news!

HARRY
Without the Prince I’d never have won the Felix Felicis. I’d never have known how to save Ron from poisoning, I’d never have…

HERMIONE
Got a reputation for Potions brilliance you don’t deserve!

GINNY
Give it a rest Hermione! By the sound of it, Malfoy was trying to use an Unforgivable Curse, you should be glad Harry had something good up his sleeve!

HERMIONE
Of course I’m glad he wasn’t cursed, but you can’t call that Sectumsempra spell good, look where it’s landed him Ginny! And I’d have thought, seeing what this has done to your chances in the match…

GINNY
Oh don’t start acting like you understand Quidditch you’ll only embarrass yourself.

Hermione and Ginny stare at each other angrily and Hermione grabs her books and storms off. Harry looks worried because this is the first time Hermione and Ginny ever disagreed.
  



Quote:

Originally Posted by ArryGrotter (Post 4927191)
I'm so sorry I haven't been dedicated to this thread and I'm sory that I haven't been updating, but I'm afraid to say... I DO have a life!:lol:

Anyway...

I finally decided to write a bit more of PS (Maybe it was because the writer's strike was over:p). It's my lengthy first draft version, so PLEASE don't say "It's tooooooooooooooo long" cos I haven't got around to cutting things yet (That's stage 2)

So...

Here it is:    


  
PS: The Journey from Platform 9 3/4, The Sorting HatEXT. LAKE - HOGWARTS - EVENING
(CONTINUOUS ACTION) (1/9/1991)

The first-years (Harry, Ron, Hermione, NEVILLE LONGBOTTOM, DEAN THOMAS, SEAMUS FINNIGAN, PARVATI PATIL, LAVENDER BROWN, Draco Malfoy, Crabbe, Goyle, PANSY PARKINSON, BLAISE ZABINI, THEODORE NOTT, MILLICENT BULSTRODE, DAPHNE GREENGRASS, TRACEY DAVIS, PADMA PATIL, MICHAEL CORNER, ANTHONY GOLDSTEIN, TERRY BOOT, MANDY BROCKLEHURST, MORAG MCDOUGAL, LISA TURPIN, SU LI, STEPHEN CORNFOOT, KEVIN ENTWHISTLE, ERNIE MACMILLIAN, HANNAH ABBOTT, SUSAN BONES, JUSTIN FINCH-FLECHTLEY, MEGAN JONES, WAYNE HOPKINS , SALLY-ANN PERKS, plus 4 OTHER BOYS and 5 OTHER GIRLS) all gaze across the lake at a magnificent sight.

(^I might be a slight bit pedantic:whistle:)

A castle with seven floors and seven towers stands upon the cliff face: Hogwarts.

INT. UNDERGROUND HARBOUR - HOGWARTS - EVENING
(1/9/1991)

The boats sail smoothly into the harbour and, once the boats moor, the first-years hop out.

RUBEUS HAGRID
Oy, you there! Is this your toad?

Neville Longbottom turns back to see Hagrid scooping a toad out of one of the boats.

NEVILLE LONGBOTTOM
Trevor!

Most of the other first-years laugh. Neville takes Trevor, rather embrassingly.

EXT. HOGWARTS GROUNDS - EVENING
(1/9/1991)

Hagrid and the first-years come out from a passageway and make their way towards a huge, oak door.

RUBEUS HAGRID
Everyone here?
(To Neville)
You there, still got yer toad?

Neville nods. Hagrid raises an enormous fist and knocks the door.
It swings opens at once to show a very stern woman waiting for them. It is Minerva McGonagall, 10 years older.

RUBEUS HAGRID (CONT’D)
The firs' years, Professor McGonagall.

MINERVA MCGONAGALL
Thank you, Hagrid. I will take them from here.

INT. ENTRANCE HALL - HOGWARTS - EVENING
(CONTINUOUS ACTION) (1/9/1991)

The first-years follow McGonagall inside. Hagrid slips through a large doorway to the right and Harry notices that the rest of the school is in there.

MINERVA MCGONAGALL
Welcome to Hogwarts. The start-of-term banquet will begin shortly, but before you take your seats in the Great Hall, you will be sorted into your houses. The Sorting is a very important ceremony because, while you are here, your house will be something like your family within Hogwarts. You will have classes with the rest of your house, sleep in your house dormitory, and spend free time in your house common room. The four houses are called Gryffindor, Hufflepuff, Ravenclaw, and Slytherin. Each house has its own noble history and each has produced outstanding witches and wizards. While you are at Hogwarts, your triumphs will earn your house points, while any rulebreaking will lose house points. At the end of the year, the house with the most points is awarded the house cup, a great honor. I hope each of you will be a credit to whichever house becomes yours. The Sorting Ceremony will take place in a few minutes in front of the rest of the school. I suggest you all smarten yourselves up as much as you can while you are waiting. I shall return when we are ready for you. Please wait quietly.

(NB: I will defianatly cut some of that)

McGonagall also goes through the right hand doorway (to the Great Hall).

HARRY POTTER
How exactly do they sort us into houses?

RON WEASLEY
Some sort of test, I think. Fred said it hurts a lot, but I think he was joking.

Harry looks a bit scared at this prospect. Everyone is quiet, except...

HERMIONE GRANGER
I wonder which spell we’ll be tested on. Maybe we’ll need to -

But her eyes suddenly widen. Harry jumps and few people scream.

Twenty ghosts, transparent and pearly white in colour, glide thorough the wall the wall and through the marble staircase.

FAT FRIAR
Forgive and forget, I say, we ought to give him a second chance -

NEARLY-HEADLESS NICK
'My dear Friar, haven't we given Peeves all the chances he deserves? He gives us all a bad name and you know, he's not really even a ghost -
(Noticing the first-years)
I say, what are you all doing here?

No one answers.

FAT FRIAR
New students! About to be Sorted, I suppose?

A few fist-years nod or smile

FAT FRIAR (CONT’D)
Hope to see you in Hufflepuff! My old house, you know.

MINERVA MCGONAGALL
Move along now. The Sorting Ceremony's about to start.

McGonagall returns and the ghosts glide along the corridor opposote the Great Hall.

MINERVA MCGONAGALL (CONT’D)
Now, follow me.

Harry and Ron get into line and walk through the right hand doors to...

INT. GREAT HALL - HOGWARTS - EVENING
(CONTINUOUS ACTION) (1/9/1991)

...the Great Hall. Thousands of candles float near the ceiling which looks like the sky outside.

HERMIONE GRANGER
(To the person next to her)
Its bewitched to look like the sky outside. I read about it in Hogwarts, A History.

On either side of the first-years are two long tables of students and right up the front, a table of staff.

Near the staff table is a patched and frayed pointed hat, sitting atop a three legged stool. Everyone in the hall stares at it.

Suddenly, miraculously, a rip appeared and the hat begins to sing.

SORTING HAT
Oh, you may not think I'm pretty, But don't judge on what you see, I'll eat myself if you can find A smarter hat than me. You can keep your bowlers black, Your top hats sleek and tall, For I'm the Hogwarts Sorting Hat And I can cap them all. There's nothing hidden in your head The Sorting Hat can't see, So try me on and I will tell you Where you ought to be. You might belong in Gryffindor, Where dwell the brave at heart, Their daring, nerve, and chivalry Set Gryffindors apart; You might belong in Hufflepuff, Where they are just and loyal, Those patient Hufflepuffis are true And unafraid of toil; Or yet in wise old Ravenclaw, if you've a ready mind, Where those of wit and learning, Will always find their kind; Or perhaps in Slytherin You'll make your real friends, Those cunning folk use any means To achieve their ends. So put me on! Don't be afraid! And don't get in a flap! You're in safe hands, though I have none For I'm a Thinking Cap!

The whole hall applauds.

RON WEASLEY
So we've just got to try on the hat! I'll kill Fred, he was going on about wrestling a troll.

MINERVA MCGONAGALL
Hannah Abbot.

(I don't have a clue how to format this scene to my liking but this is my best go at it)

LATER

Hannah sits apon the stool with the sorting hat on.

SORTING HAT
Hufflepuff!

LATER

MINERVA MCGONAGALL
Susan Bones.

LATER

Susan now sits apon the stool with the sorting hat on.

SORTING HAT
Hufflepuff!

LATER

MINERVA MCGONAGALL
Terry Boot.

SORTING HAT (V.O.)
Ravenclaw!

LATER

MINERVA MCGONAGALL
Mandy Brocklehurst.

LATER

MINERVA MCGONAGALL (CONT’D)
Millicent Bulstrode

LATER

MINERVA MCGONAGALL (CONT’D)
Michael Corner

LATER

Michael sits apon the stool with the sorting hat on.

SORTING HAT
Ravenclaw!

LATER

Vincent Crabbe sits apon the stool with the sorting hat on.

SORTING HAT (CONT’D)
Slytherin!

LATER

Tracey Davis sits apon the stool with the sorting hat on.

SORTING HAT (CONT’D)
Slytherin!

LATER

Justin Finch-Fletchly sits apon the stool with the sorting hat on.

SORTING HAT (CONT’D)
Hufflepuff

LATER

The amount of first-years have thinned.

MINERVA MCGONAGALL
Hermione Granger.

Hermione almost runs to the stool and jams the hat on her head.

A moment’s pause. Then...

SORTING HAT
Gryffindor!

Ron groans.

LATER

Neville sits anxiously on the stool with the sorting hat on. It opens it’s rip... but closes it. Again this happens. The hat looks down at Neville and Neville looks even more anxious then finally...

SORTING HAT (CONT’D)
Gryffindor!

Neville runs off towards the Gryffindor table, amongst laughter still wearing the hat.

LATER

MINERVA MCGONAGALL
Draco Malfoy.

Draco comes forward. He is not even sitting down and the hat is barely touching his head, when...

SORTING HAT
Slytherin!

Draco goes toward the Slytherin table, very pleased with himself.

LATER

MINERVA MCGONAGALL
Pansy Parkinson.

LATER

MINERVA MCGONAGALL (CONT’D)
Padma Patil.

LATER

MINERVA MCGONAGALL (CONT’D)
Parvati Patil.

LATER

MINERVA MCGONAGALL (CONT’D)
Sally-Anne Perks.

LATER

MINERVA MCGONAGALL (CONT’D)
Harry Potter.

The hall suddenly goes quiet, then erupts with conversations.
Harry sits down on the stool and the hat is placed on his head. A small voice can be heard.

SORTING HAT (O.S.)
Hmm... Difficult. Very difficult. Plenty of courage, I see. Not a bad mind either. There's talent, A my goodness, yes - and a nice thirst to prove yourself, now that's interesting... So where shall I put you?

With all his might, Harry thinks:

HARRY POTTER (V.O.)
Not Slytherin... Not Slytherin...

SORTING HAT (O.S.)
Not Slytherin, eh? Are you sure? You could be great, you know, it's all here in your head, and Slytherin will help you on the way to greatness, no doubt about that - no? Well, if you're sure - better be...

SORTING HAT (CONT’D)
(To everyone in the hall)
Gryffindor!

Everyone cheers. Harry looks to Ron as he passes the line of first-years still to be sorted and sees him clapping, but looking nervous. At the Gryffindor table, Ron’s brothers chant.

GEORGE WEASLEY
We’ve got Potter!

FRED WEASLEY
We’ve got Potter!

Harry sits near to the ghost he saw earlier (Nearly-Headless Nick) who pats him on the shoulder. Harry shivers as he does so.

SORTING HAT
Ravenclaw!

Lisa Turpin goes towards the Ravenclaw table.

MINERVA MCGONAGALL
Ron Weasley.

Ron, pale sits on the stool. Harry crosses his fingers.

SORTING HAT
Gryffindor!

Harry claps loudy. Ron makes his way towards the Gryfindor table and sits next to Harry.

MINERVA MCGONAGALL
(In the background)
Blaise Zabini

One of Ron’s brother’s leans across Harry.

PERCY WEASLEY
(Pompously)
Well done, Ron, excellent.

SORTING HAT
Slytherin!

McGonagall rolls up her scroll of parchment and takes away the stool. Harry stares hungrily at his empty plate.
At the staff table, Albus Dumbledore (10 years older) gets to his feet.

ALBUS DUMBLEDORE
Welcome to a new year at Hogwarts! Before we begin our banquet, I would like to say a few words. And here they are: Nitwit! Blubber! Oddment! Tweak! Thank you.

Harry stares blankly at Dunbledore.

HARRY POTTER
Is he - a bit mad?

PERCY WEASLEY
Mad? He's a genius! Best wizard in the world! But he is a bit mad, yes. Potatoes, Harry?

Harry looks shocked and surprised. Almost anything possibly edible is now lying on the once empty table. Harry piles up his plate.
  


Ok I won't say it's to long :p But all those people being sorted..yeah..change that lol

IenjoyAcidPops February 23rd, 2008 9:07 pm

Re: Fan Scripts: Script your own version of Harry Potter
 
Alright, maybe this thread isn't dead after all! I'd hope not, for one, I've only posted 3 of my scenes from HBP and 2 from DH. Anyway, Phrozenone, I liked your Sectumsempra (although, yeah, the Room of Requirement is very missed); here are just a few nits to pick:

Quote:

Originally Posted by Phrozenone (Post 4936329)
HERMIONE
Coward!

For some reason, I cannot hear Emma's reading of this. I guess I'd suggest an eyeroll and a small exasperated sigh as Ron's talking before she moves on to Ginny and Dean?

Quote:

RON
Well where have you been?

GINNY
Have you not figured it out yet Ron that I don’t have to tell you anything.

RON
You need to watch your mouth!

HARRY
Ron lay off.
I don't think this is necessary. I would say just have Ginny come in, then Harry ask her if she's okay.

Quote:

HARRY
(He takes a deep breath and quickly points his wand at Malfoy)
EXPELLIARMUS!
Here's my take: have Harry take the short deep breath before Sectumsempra; he has no idea what the spell is, or what effect it'll have, but hey, he also doesn't know what Malfoy's up to, and it did say "For Enemies". I think it'd work better there.

It's a pretty nice script overall, Phrozenone; I mean, there's a fair amount of dialogue in need of adjustment, I think (like we were talking about after my Spinner's End, fitting things to actors you're writing for), and some stuff along the way that seems unneeded or kind of random (like that bit with Ron/Ginny I pointed out, for one), but good. Of course, there's a lot of stuff you and I disagree on; for instance, I cut Bill/Fleur, I have Slughorn's intro at Budleigh Babberton, and I changed the timing and placement of certain things - but that's not error of writing, obviously.

(By the way, have you - or anyone, I guess - read the other HBP and DH pages I've posted? I'd certainly appreciate your thoughts.)

Phrozenone February 24th, 2008 1:14 am

Re: Fan Scripts: Script your own version of Harry Potter
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by IenjoyAcidPops (Post 4936907)
For some reason, I cannot hear Emma's reading of this. I guess I'd suggest an eyeroll and a small exasperated sigh as Ron's talking before she moves on to Ginny and Dean?

:lol: I agree actually..maybe I should insert *move eyebrows frantically with a deep inhale* before the line. That'll work great for Emma :p

Quote:

I don't think this is necessary. I would say just have Ginny come in, then Harry ask her if she's okay.
Point well taken :tu:

Quote:

Here's my take: have Harry take the short deep breath before Sectumsempra; he has no idea what the spell is, or what effect it'll have, but hey, he also doesn't know what Malfoy's up to, and it did say "For Enemies". I think it'd work better there.
I hear what you're saying. I think I was kind of going for what he did in the graveyard scene with Voldemort since this is his signature spell and all...but you're absolutely right.

Quote:

It's a pretty nice script overall, Phrozenone; I mean, there's a fair amount of dialogue in need of adjustment, I think (like we were talking about after my Spinner's End, fitting things to actors you're writing for), and some stuff along the way that seems unneeded or kind of random (like that bit with Ron/Ginny I pointed out, for one), but good. Of course, there's a lot of stuff you and I disagree on; for instance, I cut Bill/Fleur, I have Slughorn's intro at Budleigh Babberton, and I changed the timing and placement of certain things - but that's not error of writing, obviously.
Thank you :cool:

And yeah you're right and actually we DO agree on those things. This is actually my 3rd revision of my HBP script. I've done one with no Bill/Fluer at all (Honestly the only reason I have Bill in this one was because I didn't know how he would play out in DH and if the werewolf thing would be huge....since of course it isn't he'll never grace my scripts again :lol:) I had the meeting at Budleigh Babberton aswell originally.

I think it's very fun and interesting how many different ways you can shape one story. So no worries...I'm sure we're on the same page more than anything :p


Quote:

(By the way, have you - or anyone, I guess - read the other HBP and DH pages I've posted? I'd certainly appreciate your thoughts.)
Of course I have I'm just a lazy bum who takes his time before replying :cool:

Alright so here are a few things that stood out to me...

Quote:

HARRY
You need to go into hiding, and you're being offered the best protection there is. Hestia Jones and Dedalus Diggle are more than capable.
Do we honestly need to know their names...and better yet..do they have to have lines? lol I mean honestly I like this scene but this seems like a case of 'Introducing names that play nothing in the end...' kinda like Yaxly in your DH script.

ALTHOUGH I guess it makes it more personal (I would still give the extra's these names in the credits not Order Member 14 :lol:)

Overall though good job as usual :tu: Did you ever get to read the bits of my DH script I posted a while back?

IenjoyAcidPops February 24th, 2008 1:29 am

Re: Fan Scripts: Script your own version of Harry Potter
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by Phrozenone (Post 4937082)
And yeah you're right and actually we DO agree on those things. This is actually my 3rd revision of my HBP script. I've done one with no Bill/Fluer at all (Honestly the only reason I have Bill in this one was because I didn't know how he would play out in DH and if the werewolf thing would be huge....since of course it isn't he'll never grace my scripts again ) I had the meeting at Budleigh Babberton aswell originally.

Ah, alright; that makes sense.

Quote:

Do we honestly need to know their names...and better yet..do they have to have lines? lol I mean honestly I like this scene but this seems like a case of 'Introducing names that play nothing in the end...' kinda like Yaxly in your DH script.
No, we don't need their names; I thought about not giving them any, but I guess I'm just not so comfortable with having them totally anonymous. And they kind of have to have lines, I think, to segue into Dudley's little moment here. As for Yaxley, well, see he only appears in this one sequence, so that suggestion I've heard about replacing him with Bella doesn't really boost her role; that and I want to keep as much as possible the idea that the Death Eaters are basically an army; not all of them need to either big players or extras, you know?

Quote:

Overall though good job as usual
As usual? Wow, thanks.

Quote:

I agree actually..maybe I should insert *move eyebrows frantically with a deep inhale* before the line. That'll work great for Emma
Somehow I knew that was coming. :lol:

Quote:

Did you ever get to read the bits of my DH script I posted a while back?
I believe I've read all of your DH stuff; that was in December, right? I remember I went on about how much I liked your execution of the Dumbledore/Grindelwald duel, even if I don't think we should see such a sequence, for one thing.

Phrozenone March 4th, 2008 11:12 pm

Re: Fan Scripts: Script your own version of Harry Potter
 
Yeah so I'm being lazy today so I'll just wrap this excert in Quote tags :lol: I'm almost near the finish!

Quote:

INT. CORRIDOR/GRYFFINDOR COMMON ROOM

The scene cuts a shot of Hogwarts and we see in the distance a game of Quidditch is being played, the scene then fades to Harry walking towards the Commom Room alone. The portrait swings open and a crowd of cheering Gryffindor washes over him. We see Ron in the midst.

RON
(He runs up to Harry.)
WE WON!!!! It was amazing Harry, we won!
(He holds up the silver cup at Harry.)

HARRY
That’s great.

GINNY
Harry!

Ginny runs up to him and proceeds to hug him and he grabs her and kisses her. Everyone stops cheering and stares at them as they kiss each other. They stop and stare into each other’s eyes. We see Dean shattering a glass in his hand, Romilda Vane looking furious, and Harry looks at Ron holding the cup. They stare at each other and Ron shrugs his shoulder and walks off. Everyone starts back talking and Harry and Ginny continue to kiss as the scene fades.

MONTAGE/2 WEEKS

Next we see a montage of them walking around the grounds holding hands, sitting together making jokes with Ron and Seamus, eating together in the Great Hall, kissing on the bridge, and holding each other under the stars in front of the lake.

INT-GRYFFINDOR COMMON ROOM/NIGHT

The scene then cuts to them walking together into the common room. She kisses him and runs past Ron who’s sitting on the couch. She smacks him on the head and runs upstairs.

RON
About time you two made it back.

HARRY
She has to study for her O.W.L’s, what are you doing?

RON
Herbology homework, I don’t understand how Neville gets this stuff.
(Hermione walks through the portrait.)
Hiya Hermione

HERMIONE
Hi…Harry I want to talk to you.

HARRY
What about?

HERMIONE
The so-called Half Blood Prince.

HARRY
Hermione can’t you just drop it?

HERMIONE
No, not until you’ve heard me out. Now, I’ve been trying to find out a bit about who might make a hobby of inventing Dark spells…

HARRY
He didn’t make a hobby of it.

HERMIONE
Who says it’s a he? Look at this.

(She opens a book and the camera shows a shot of a picture of a lady that says Eileen Prince, Captain of the Hogwarts Gobstones Team.)

HARRY
So?

HERMIONE
Her name was Eileen Prince. Prince, Harry.

HARRY
You think she was the Half Blood…come on Hermione!

HERMIONE
Well, why not? There aren’t any real princes in the Wizarding world, it’s either a nickname, a made up title, or it could be their actual name. If her father was a wizard whose surname was Prince, and her mother was a Muggle, then that would make her a ‘half-blood prince!”

HARRY
Hermione…you’re very ingenious, but I can tell it’s not a girl.

HERMIONE
You think a girl isn’t clever enough?

HARRY
How can I have hung around with you for five years and not think girls are clever?

Neville walks up to them holding a piece of parchment.

NEVILLE
This is for you Harry?
(Hands the parchment to Harry)

HARRY
Thanks Neville…it’s from Dumbledore!
( Harry opens it and reads.)
He wants me to go to his office as quick as I can!

HERMIONE
You don’t think he’s found a…

HARRY
Better go and see.

RON
Yeah good luck. Hey Neville, you think you can help me out a bit with this herbology…

INT-CORRIDOR-NIGHT (MOMENTS LATER)

Harry walks quickly down the halls and then he hears a crash and scream and Harry runs down and around the corner and see’s Professor Trelawney.

HARRY
What happened Professor?

TRELAWNEY
Oh, nothing my dear boy, nothing nothing….

HARRY
Were you trying to get into the Room of Requirements Professor?

TRELAWNEY
What? I….well…didn’t know students knew about…

HARRY
Not all of them do, but what happeend?

TRELAWNEY
Well…I wished to...deposit certain…personal items in the room…

HARRY
But what happened?

TRELAWNEY
There was already somebody in there.

HARRY
What? Who?

TRELAWNEY
No idea my dear boy, I walked in, heard a voice…

HARRY
A voice? Saying what?

TRELAWNEY
I don’t know that it was saying anything…it was…whooping?

HARRY
Was it male or female?

TRELAWNEY
I would hazard a guess at male

HARRY
And he sounded happy? As though it was celebrating? Then what?

TRELAWNEY
It went pitch black and I was being hurled headfirst out of the room.

HARRY
I think you’d better tell Professor Dumbledore. He ought to know Malfoy’s celebrating…I mean, that someone threw you out of the room.

The scene cuts to to them walking towards Dumbledore’s office.

TRELAWNEY
I miss having you in my classes Harry, you were never much of a Seer..but you were a wonderful Object…

HARRY
Thanks. So how long have you been teaching here?

TRELAWNEY
Oh about 16 years now.
(she chuckles)
I remember my first interview with Dumbledore.

The scene goes into a flashback of Trelawney and Dumbledore sitting in a room in the Hogs Head.

TRELAWNEY
(Voiceover)
I was staying at the Hog’s Head and Dumbledore did me the courtesy of calling upon me in my room. He questioned me…and I rememeber I was starting to feel a bit odd

We see Trelawney in her psychic state and she’s quoting the prophecy from the last movie and Dumbledore is looking at her with amazement. There is a loud thud and Dumbledore gets up and opens the door.

TRELAWNEY
(Voiceover)
But then we were rudely interrupted by Severus Snape!

We see Snape standing the door way being held by one of the workers of the bar and we cut back to Harry and Trelawney walking.

HARRY
What?

TRELAWNEY
Yes, I’m afraid that I myself rather thought he had been apprehened eavesdropping on my interview. Anyways…after that I was offered the job and….Harry?
(He stopped walking and is staring with an anger in his eyes.)
Harry?

HARRY
You stay here…

TRELAWNEY
But dear..I was….

HARRY
You stay here!

He runs past her and the scene cuts to …

INT-DUMBLEDORE’S OFFICE-NIGHT (MOMENTS LATER)

Harry walking out of the spinning Gargoyle and he knocks hardly on Dumbledores door.

DUMBLEDORE
Enter.
(Harry bursts angrily into his office.)
Well, Harry, I promised that you could come with me.

HARRY
I…what? Come with you?

DUMBLEDORE
Only if you wish it.

HARRY
If I…. You’ve found one? You’ve found a Horcrux?

DUMBLEDORE
I believe so.

HARRY
Which Horcrux is it? Where is it?

DUMBLEDORE
I’m not sure which it is, but I believe it to be hidden in a cave on the coast many miles from here, where Tom Riddle once terrorized two children from his orphanage on their annual trip; you remember?

HARRY
Yes, how is it protected?

DUMBLEDORE
I don’t know. I promised you that you could come with me, but it would be very wrong of me not to warn you that this will be exceedingly dangerous.

HARRY
I’m coming.

DUMBLEDORE
What has happened to you?

HARRY
Nothing.

DUMBLEDORE
Are you upset?

HARRY
No.

DUMBLEDORE
Harry, you were never a good Occlumens…

HARRY
(After hearing Occlumens Harry remembers why he originally came)
Snape’s what happened! He told Voldemort about the prophecy, it was him, he listenend outside the door, Trelawney told me! AND YOU LET HIM TEACH HERE AND HE TOLD VOLDEMORT TO GO AFTER MY MUM AND DAD!

DUMBLEDORE
Please listen to me Harry, Professor Snape made a terrible…

HARRY
Don’t tell me it was a mistake, sir, he was listening at the door!

DUMBLEDORE
Please let me finish. Professor Snape made a terrible mistake. He was still in Lord Voldemort’s employ on that night. He did not know which boy Voldemort would hunt from then onward, or that the parents he would destroy in his murderous quest were people that he knew, that they were your mother and father…

HARRY
HA! He hated my dad like he hated Sirius! Haven’t you noticed, Professor, how the people Snape hates tend to end up dead?

DUMBLEDORE
You have no idea the remorse Professor Snape felt when he realized how Lord Voldemort had interpreted the prophecy, Harry. I believe it to be his greatest regret of his life and the reason that he returned…

HARRY
But he’s a very good Occluments, isn’t he sir? And isn’t Voldemort convinced that Snape’s on his side, even now? How can you be sure Snape’s on our side?

DUMBLEDORE
(He pauses for a second.)
I am sure, I trust Severus Snape completely.

HARRY
Well I don’t! He’s up to something with Draco Malfoy right now, right under your nose. He’s trying to mend something dangerous in the Room of Requirement and if you ask me, he’s fixed it at last and you’re about to just walk out of school without…

DUMBLEDORE
That’s enough Harry! Do you think that I have once left the school unprotected during my absensces this year? Please do not suggest that I don’t take the safety of my students seriously, Harry.

HARRY
I didn’t….

DUMBLEDORE
I do not wish to discuss the matter any further, now do you wish to come with me tonight?

HARRY
Yes.

DUMBLEDORE
Well I will take you under one condition. Promise me that you will obey any command I might give you without question. If I say run, hide, go back you will do so.

HARRY
Yes, of course.

DUMBLEDORE
If I tell you to leave me and save yourself, you will do as I tell you?

HARRY
I….

DUMBLEDORE
Harry?

HARRY
(He stares at him for a second)
Yes, sir.

DUMBLEDORE
Very good, now I wish for you to go fetch your Invisitbility Cloak and meet me in the entrance hall in five minutes time.

Phrozenone March 7th, 2008 8:58 am

Re: Fan Scripts: Script your own version of Harry Potter
 
hmmmmm no replies huh? Well I guess I'll just post more of the script then. This will be a long one so sit back and :relax:

Quote:

INT. GRYFFINDOR COMMON ROOM-LATER THAT NIGHT

The scene cuts to Harry in his room grabbing his Invisibility Cloak and some socks and he runs downstairs where Neville, Ron and Hermione are sitting.

HARRY
Here
(Throws socks at Ron)
It’s the Felix Felicis, Dumbledore and I are leaving so Malfoy’s going to have another clear shot at whatever he’s up to.

HERMIONE
Honestly Harry….

HARRY
No, just listen to me for once! Share it between yourselves and Ginny too. Say good-bye to her for me. Dumbledore’s waiting…

EXT. HOGSMEADE-LATER THAT NIGHT

Dumbledore and Harry who’s under his invisibility cloak, is walking in the night sky through Hogsmead. We see Madam Rosmerta kicking a wizard out of her shop.)

ROSMERTA
And stay out! Oh, hello there Albus…you’re out late.

DUMBLEDORE
Good evening, Rosmerta, forgive me I’m off to the Hog’s Head for a little drink.
(She watches him as he walks around the corner. He walks past the Hog’s Head and into a little side street.)
Place your hand upon my arm Harry. On the count of three…one…two…three…

There is a flash of light and the scene cuts to…

EXT. THE CAVE ENTRANCE-NIGHT

We see them Apparate and appear on the ledge surround by splashing water beneath them. Harry takes off his cloak as we see Dumbledore walk around. He starts to walk into the entrance and Harry follows.

INT. CAVE ANTECHAMBER-NIGHT (MOMENTS LATER)

DUMBLEDORE
Yes yes, this is the place.

HARRY
How do you…

DUMBLEDORE
It has known magic. This is merely the antechamber, the entrance hall. We need to penetrate the inner place.
(Dumbledore touches the wall in front of him mumbling under his breath.)
Here, we go on through here. The entrance is concealed.
(He takes his wand and points it at the wall and an arched outline appears with blazing light coming from behind it.)

HARRY
You’ve done it!

DUMBLEDORE
Yes
(he stares at the wall for another moment)
So crude.

HARRY
What is it sir?

DUMBLEDORE
(He reaches into his rob and pulls out a silver knife.)
I think that we are required to make payment to pass.

HARRY
Payment?

DUMBLEDORE
Yes, blood if I’m not mistaken.

HARRY
Blood?

DUMBLEDORE
I said it was crude. The idea is that your enemy must weaken him or herself to enter. Once again, Tom fails to grasp that there are much more terrible things than physical injury.

HARRY
Is there someway we can avoid….

DUMBLEDORE
Sometimes, things are unavoidable.
(He pulls up the sleeve exposing his forearm and raises the knife.)

HARRY
Professor! I’ll do it, I’m….

Dumbledore swipes the knife down and we see blood splatter on the wall. The silver arch appears on the wall again but doesn’t fade and an opening appears where inside it is completely dark.

DUMBLEDORE
You are very kind Harry, but your blood is worth more than mine. After me.

INT. THE CAVE-NIGHT (MOMENTS LATER)

Dumbledore holds up his wand as they walk into the hole. The camera pans to a wide shot of the great black lake that is in front of them. In the distance there is a faint green glow.

DUMBLEDORE
Let us walk. Be very careful not to step in the water and stay close to me.

They begin to walk across the ledge, their two wands are the only light we’re able to see. Dumbledore hand is scanning the walls as they walk.

HARRY
Professor, do you think the Horcrux is here?

DUMBLEDORE
Yes, the question is, how do we get it?

HARRY
Couldn’t we just try a Summoning Charm.

DUMBLEDORE
Certainly we could, why don’t you do it?

HARRY
Oh..okay…
(Clears his throat)
Accio Horcrux!

There is an explosion and something jumps out of the water into the air and down very fast before we can see it. Harry jumps back shocked and hits the wall.

HARRY
What was that!?

DUMBLEDORE
Something, I think, that is ready to respond should we made an obvious attempt to get our hands on the Horcrux.

HARRY
Do you think we’re going to have to go into the lake?

DUMBLEDORE
Only if we are very unfortunate. You see Harry, I think the Horcrux is in the middle.

He points towards the misty green light in the center of the lake.

HARRY
So we’re going to have to cross the lake to get to it?

DUMBLEDORE
Yes
(Dumbledore stops and Harry runs into him and nearly falls into the water but Dumbledore grabs him.)
Sorry Harry, I should have given warning. I think I have found the place.

Dumbledore reaches around in mid air and as he does so moves closer to the water. He grabs his wand and taps on his fist that’s in midair and a thick green coppery chain appears out of thin air and is extended into the water from Dumbledore’s fist. He taps the chain and it begins to slide through his fist and making a soft rumble. A tiny boat soon appears above the surface moving towards them as the chain pulls it. Harry stares in shock at Dumbledore.

HARRY
How did you know that was there?

DUMBLEDORE
Magic always leaves traces, sometimes very distinctive traces. I taught Tom Riddle, I know his style.

HARRY
Do you think the boat is safe sir?

DUMBLEDORE
I think so, Voldemort needed to create a means to cross the lake without attracting the wrath of those creatures he had placed within it in case he ever wanted to visit or remove his Horcrux.

The boat stops right in front of them.

HARRY
It doesn’t look like it was built for two people. Will it hold both of us? Will we be too heavy together?

DUMBLEDORE
Voldemort will not have cared about the weight, but about the amount of magical power that crossed his lake. I do not think you will count, Harry. Do you think Voldemort would expect a sixteen year old to reach this place? Now you first this time and be careful not to touch the water.

Harry stops into the boat followed by Dumbledore and the boat begins to move forward. Harry looks down into the water with his wand and a human hand appears.

HARRY
Professor! I think I saw a hand in the water!

DUMBLEDORE
Yes, I’m sure you did.

HARRY
So that thing that jumped out of the water? There are bodies in here!

DUMBLEDORE
Inferi Harry, but we don’t need to worry about them at the moment. There is nothing to be feared from a body any more than there is anything to be feared from the darkness. It is the unknown we fear when we look upon death and darkness, nothing more.

The boat gets closer to the island in the middle of the lake. There are more and more bodies in the water the closer they get and there’s a soft thud as the boat hits them.. The boat comes to a halt at the island of smooth rock and both Dumbledore and Harry get out of the boat onto the island. In the middle of it stands a pedastel where the light is coming from. They both approach the basin and look into it. Inside we see a emerald liquid emitting that phosphorescent glow.

HARRY
What is it?

DUMBLEDORE
Not sure.
(Dumbledore pulls back his sleeve and stretches his fingers towards the material but meets an invisible barrier.)
Interesting, I cannot touch it. There’s an invisible barrier.

He raises his wand and starts to do wand movements in over the basin. Nothing seems to happen as he continues to try.

HARRY
You think the Horcrux is in there, sir?

DUMBLEDORE
Yes…but how to reach it.
(He waves his wand again and a crystal goblet appears in midair and he grabs it.)
I can only conclude that this potion is supposed to be drunk. Only by drinking it can I empty the basin and see what lies in it’s depths.

HARRY
What? No! What if it kills you?

DUMBLEDORE
Voldemort would want to keep the person who reaches this island alive long enough to find out how they managed to get this far. Still, this potion must act in a way that will prevent me taking the Horcrux. Harry, it will be your job to make sure I keep drinking, even if you have to tip the potion into my mouth. You understand?

HARRY
But sir…

DUMBLEDORE
You swore to follow any command I give you did you not?

HARRY
Yes, but…

DUMBLEDORE
Well then you have my orders.

HARRY
But why can’t I drink it instead.

DUMBLEDORE
Because I’m much older, cleverer, and much less valuable. Now do I have your word?

HARRY
Couldn’t I just….

DUMBLEDORE
Your word, Harry!

Harry knods and without another word Dumbledore dips the Goblet into the substance and fills it to the brim and lifts it to his mouth. He drinks it all down as Harry watches in horror.

HARRY
Professor, how do you feel?

Dumbledore keeps his eyes closed as he dips the glass into the basin again and proceeds to drink again.

HARRY
Professor, can you hear me?
(Dumbledore frowns and his fingers start to lose grip of the cup. Harry grabs it and holds it steady.)
Sir?

DUMBLEDORE
I don’t want…don’t make me…don’t like…want to stop…

HARRY
You can’t stop Professor, you’ve got to keep drinking remember?

Harry frowns as he forces the rest of the drink down Dumbledore’s throat. Harry then dips the cup back into the basin and fills it up.

DUMBLEDORE
No, no, no, no, I can’t, don’t make me…make it stop…make it stop…

HARRY
This’ll make it stop
(He dips the contents into Dumbledore’s mouth again and when Dumbledore swallows he lets out a scream.)
It’s alright Professor, it’s alright.
(He dips the cup into the basin again.)
You’re safe, I swear it isn’t real, take this...take this…(Dumbledore drinks again.)

DUMBLEDORE
It’s all my fault, I know I did wrong, I’ll never do it again, please make it stop. Don’t hurt them, please...hurt me instead.

HARRY
Here sir, drink this, you’ll be alright

Dumbledore obeys and drinks again as he starts to shake uncontrollably. He falls onto the ground screaming as Harry refills the cup.

DUMBLEDORE
Please, please, no…not that…I”ll do anything…

HARRY
We’re nearly there Professor, Drink it.

DUMBLEDORE
(He drinks again and screams out in terrible pain.)
I want to die! Make it stop…I want to die!

HARRY
Drink this Professor…

He gulps down another cup.

DUMBLEDORE
KILL ME! KILL ME!!

HARRY
This one will sir!
(He forces the drink down Dumbledore’s throat and with a gasp he rolls over on his face in silence.)
NO!
(Harry drops the cup and Harry grabs Dumbledore’s body as it lies there.)
You’re not dead, wake up...WAKE UP!
(He points his wand at Dumbledore’s chest.)
Rennervate!
(There’s a flash of red light but nothing happens.)
Sir…please…
(Dumbledore’s eyelids flicker.)
Sir? Are you…

DUMBLEDORE
Water.

HARRY
Water...yes…(he grabs the goblet and points his wand at it.) Aquamenti!

The goblet fills with water as Harry takes it over to Dumbledore and brought the glass to his lips, but it is empty.

HARRY
Wait...it was just in here…Aquamenti!

It fills again and as it approaces Dumbledore’s mouth disappears. Dumbledore breathing begins to fade and Harry looks around in panic. We see him run towards the lake and plunge the goblet into it and run over to Dumbledore. Harry tips the water into Dumbledore’s mouth until it is empty. He then runs to the lake again and dips the goblet. As he turns to leave he trips. The camera pans to shows a hand around one of Harry’s legs. Harry screams as it begins to pull him towards the water. The surface of the water isn’t calm anymore and the heads of men, woman, and children begin to emerge from the water. The army of Inferi start to climb onto the island from all sides moving slowly groaning loudly as if in pain.

HARRY
Petrificus Totalus!

He blasts the arm of the Inferi that was holding him and it lets go and falls into the water. Harry jumps up as the Inferi start to increase in numbers. As the Inferi crawl slowly towards him a look of horror feels Harry’s face. What does he do?

HARRY
PETRIFICUS TOTALUS! IMPEDIMENTA! INCARCEROUS!

Only a few Inferi are taken out by these spells as more and more start to rise out of the water. We even see baby Inferi crawling along towards him.

HARRY
SECTUMSEMPRA! SECTUMSEMPA!!!

Gashes appear in their bodies but there is no blood. They continue to walk slowly towards Harry. Groaning loudly! One crawls towards Dumbledore and Harry runs and kicks it off of him. One grabs his legs and he falls losing his wand. He screams as they begin to overtake him. One after another they pile on top of Harry as he screams out in pain! We see them covering him up and then there’s a blast of light. The Inferi are thrown from Harry and the camera pans to Dumbledore standing with his wand with a look of fury in his eyes.

DUMBLEDORE
Come to me Harry!

Harry grabs his wand and runs to Dumbleodre. Dumbledore casts another bright powerful spell at a few inferi as dozens more begin to slowly pile onto the island. The Inferi are tossed back as Dumbledore grabs Harry’s arm and pulls him close to him. Dumbledore raises his wand and there is a loud rumble and a ring of fire emerges from Dumbledore’s wand and surrounds him and Harry. Some Inferi are caught by the firely ring and moans in agony as its body is burned slowly. We see the Inferi bumping into each other blindly and some cowering away from the flame. Dumbledore reaches into the basin and pulls out locket from within. The flame starts to move faster around them and the camera pans out to show that we can’t see Harry or Dumbledore because the fire has formed a sort of cacoon around them. There’s a second of silence and BOOM the cacoon explodes outward knocking out a lot of the Inferi. They all crawl into the water and Dumbledore collapses..

HARRY
Sir..I forgot about fire…they were coming and I panicked…

DUMBLEDORE
That’s understandable
(His voice sounds very weak)
I am weak….

HARRY
Don’t worry sir…lean on me..I’ll get us back.
(Harry helps Dumbledore into the boat and it starts to move towards the shore on its own.)

DUMBLEDORE
I must say…the protection was well designed. One alone could not have done it…you did very well Harry.

The boat comes to a THUD and Harry jumps out the boat and helps Dumbledore out.

HARRY
Lumos!

Harry’s wand lights up and they walk along the shore. Dumbledore hand slowly follows the wall of the cave and he stops.

DUMBLEDORE
It is here. Looks like the gateway sealed itself again, my knife….

HARRY
There’s no need, I got cut on the rock. Just tell me where…

DUMBLEDORE
Here…

Harry wipes his forearm against the stone and the barrier is opened and they pass through it.

INT. CAVE ANTECHAMBER-NIGHT

HARRY
It’s going to be all right sir…I can Appartate us both back….don’t worry…

DUMBLEDORE
Ah Harry, I’m not worried. I am with you.

EXT. HOGESMEADE-NIGHT (SECONDS LATER)

There is a shot of an empty street in Hogsmeades and then SWOOSH Harry and Dumbledore appear on the street

HARRY
We did it sir! We got the Horcrux.
(Dumledore leans against the wall.)
Sir are you all right?

DUMBLEDORE
(He sinks to the groud.)
Severus, I need Severus.

HARRY
But…

Madam Rosmerta runs quickly towards them from out of the darkness.

ROSMERTA
I saw you Apparate as I was pulling my bedroom curtains. What’s wrong with Albus?

HARRY
He’s hurt. Madam Rosmerta can he come into the Three Broomsticks while I go up to the school and get help for him?

ROSMERTA
You can’t go up there alone?

DUMBLEDORE
What’s wrong Rosmerta?

ROSMERTA
The….Dark Mark, Albus.

She points and the camera pans upwars towards Hogwarts and we see that the Dark Mark is floating over the school, the snake tying itself into a knot.

DUMBLEDORE
We need to return to the castle at once. Rosmerta, we need brooms…

The scene cuts to Harry and Dumbledore flying towards the castle. We see Dumbledore close his eyes and mutter an incantation and we see them pass through the barrier around Hogwarts. They land on the Astronomy Tower right under the mark.

EXT. ASTRONOMY TOWER-NIGHT

HARRY
Do you think that’s a real mark Professor, there’s no body…Professor?

DUMBLEDORE
Go and wake Severus Harry, tell him what happened and bring him to me.

HARRY
But sir…

DUMBLEDORE
You swore to obey me Harry…go!

Harry puts on his Invisibility Cloak and runs towards the door and freezes as he hears footsteps coming up them.

DUMBLEDORE
Get away from there Harry.

Harry backs up and we see Dumbledore point his wand at Harry and he falls back frozen just as we see someone run through the door and yell ‘Expellearmus’ and watches Dumbledore’s wand fly over the edge of the tower. We see a shot of the person from behind and we see Dumbledore’s face over their shoulder.

DUMBLEDORE

Well, Good Evening Draco.

The camera shifts showing a shot of Draco with his wand pointing at Dumbledore.

DRACO
Who else is here?

DUMBLEDORE
A question I might ask you. Or are you acting alone?

DRACO
No, I’ve got backup. There are Death Eaters here in your school tonight. I let them in right under your nose and you never realized. They’re having a fight down below with some of your guards…I came on ahead. I’ve got a job to do…

Draco holds his wand firmly and Dumbledore slouchs against the edge of the building, obviously weak and there is a shot of Harry struggling to move underneath the cloak.

DUMBLEDORE
Draco, you are not a killer.

DRACO
How do you know? You don’t know what I’ve done!

DUMBLEDORE
Yes, I do. You almost killed Katie Bell and Ronald Weasley in an attempt to kill me. Forgive me, but they have been feeble attempts…so tell me how did you manage to get them into my school.

DRACO
I had to mend that broken Vanishing Cabinet that no one’s used for years. There is a pair of them, one here and one in Borgin and Burkes and there’s a passage between them. If the passage is fixed…

DUMBLEDORE
Then it’s a one-way trip to Hogwarts straight from Knockturn Alley…Ingenious.

DRACO
Yes, I know!

DUMBLEDORE
You didn’t think you were going to suceed in mending the cabinet were you? You had to resort to crude measures such as sending me a cursed necklace that was bound to reach the wrong hands…poisoning mead there was only the slightest chance I might drink….

DRACO
You didn’t realize it was me!

DUMBLEDORE
I was sure it was you. I’ve had Professor Snape watcing over you…

DRACO
He hasn’t been doing your orders, he promised my mother! He’s a double agent!

DUMBLEDORE
Well it so happens that I trust Professor Snape….

DRACO
You’re losing your grib! He wants all the glory to himself, Snape. He’s been trying to help me all year, but I wouldn’t let him. He won’t be the Dark Lords favorite after tonight…

DUMBLEDORE
So Draco…how long has Rosmerta been under the Imperius Curse?

DRACO
How did you…?

DUMBLEDORE
Oh come dear boy someone had to have handed the necklace to Katie, and tonight how would you have known I left without her tipping you off? So Draco let us discuss your options…

DRACO
My Options! I’m standing here with a wand…I’m about to kill you…

DUMBLEDORE
My dear boy, if you were going to kill me, you would have done it when you first disarmed me.

DRACO
I haven’t got any options! I’ve got to do it! He’ll kill me! He’ll kill my whole family!

His wand is trembling in his hand now.

DUMBLEDORE
Come over to the right side Draco, we can hide you more completely than you can possibly imagine. You and your mother, and when the times comes your father. You are not a killer…

The door bursts open and four people in Death Eater uniforms run through it and stand behind Draco.

AMYCUS
Dumbledore’s cornered, wandless, and alone! Well done, Draco!

DUMBLEDORE
Good evening, Amycus, and you’ve brought Alecto too. Charming.

ALECTO
Think your little jokes’ll help you on your deathbed then?

DUMBLEDORE
And is that you Fenrir?

GREYBACK
That’s right, pleased to see me, Dumbledore.

DUMBLEDORE
Well...….no.

GREYBACK
(He smiles and blood trickles down his mouth.)
But you know how much I like kids, Dumbledore.

DUMBLEDORE
I am a little shocked that Draco here invited you into the school where his friends live…

DRACO
I didn’t…I didn’t know he was going to come….

GREYBACK
I wouldn’t miss a trip to Hogwarts Dumbledore, not when there are throats to be ripped out and I could do you for afters, Dumbledore!

AMYCUS
Look at him. What has happened to the great Dumbledore? Look like a weak fool to me. I don’t even know why the Dark Lord’s bothering to kill yer! Come on Draco, do it!

DRACO
I…I...

He tries to point his wand but it is shaken to furiously.

GREYBACK
I’ll do it!

AMYCUS
No! He must do it!

ALECTO
Do it or stand aside so one of us….

The door bursts open and in runs Snape. Harry’s eyes lighten with a slight look of excitement as Snape runs up to the Death Eaters, Draco, and Dumbledore with his wand at the ready.

AMYCUS
We’ve got a problem Snape, the boy doesn’t seem able…

DUMBLEDORE
Severus….

(Snape pushed Draco out of the way and stares down at Dumbledore.)

Severus…please…

SNAPE
(He points his wand at Dumbledore)

Avada Kadavra!

(The jet of green light comes from his wand knocking Dumbledore back and over the edge of the tower.)

Out of here, quickly.

He grabs Malfoy and they both walk out through the door. Greyback and two of the Death Eaters exit. Harry is now able to move so he jumps up from his cloak and points his wand at the last Death Eater that’s walking out of the door.

HARRY
Petrificus Totalus!
So who made it through all that huh? :lol: Funny thing is this is my first time in a while reading these scenes and I've just gotten SO excited for the HBP movie just now. Anyways my next post will be the rest of my HBP script so let me know what you guys think. :cool:

MasterOfDeath March 7th, 2008 9:59 am

Re: Fan Scripts: Script your own version of Harry Potter
 
I made it through that post. It was fantastic, my old friend. Simply fantastic.. It made me even more excited about this film if that is possible. It also made me think about how they are going to do certain things in the movie.

I wonder if they will keep the Trelawnly/Snape reavelation or if Julie Christie has been re-casted as Madam Rosmerta.

I must say, when I read your scirpt, I pictured the Dumbledore from the book. I know how much you love Gambon, but I just cannot picture him saying those lines so calmly and serene.

If the real scirpt is half as good as yours, we got a pretty damn good film coming out in November.

Good work, Phrozenone. :tu:

Phrozenone March 7th, 2008 10:33 am

Re: Fan Scripts: Script your own version of Harry Potter
 
aww thanks

I actually was talking through Gambon's voice the entire time I was writing this script (Along with every other character...horrible yes...but I tried :p) and I think he can pull it off well.

Remember how he said Severus in GOF after the Trophy Room scene when he said "I agree...with Severus"...that's how I hear him saying 'Severus' on the Astronomy Tower in my head....

Thanks for the critique though. I hope they do keep the Snape/Trelawney revelation. In the recent revision I started on I added a talk in the first lesson that Dumbledore has with Harry where he tells him that it was Trelawney who made the prophecy and yadda yadda to kill two bird with one stone.

One re introducing the prophecy in the HBP film so that when the reveal happens later people won't be struggling to remember something from the last movie. Just have something like this (This is off the top of my head so it may suck but you'll get the point)

DUMBLEDORE
That prophecy you heard last year was made by none other than Professor Trelawney. She made it when I was interviewing her for the teaching post here. Unfortunately we were interrupted..."

HARRY
By who sir?

DUMBLEDORE
That isn't important at the moment I'm sorry to say...

HARRY
And was this...person...the one who told Voldemort about the prophecy? Are they the reason my parents are dead?

DUMBLEDORE
(Stares off into the distance for a moment)
I'm sorry to say that in some way they are...

HARRY
Sir I think I have the right to know....

DUMBLEDORE
I'm sorry but right now we have more important things to discuss. So, Harry. You have been wondering, I am sure, what I have planned for you during these lessons?

And you guys know the rest lol I would even go so far to actually SHOW the interview as Dumbledore talks about it but cut it off before Snape appears and of course show the rest when Trelawney talks about it

Just an idea though

EDIT: :lol: That sounds like a deleted scene or something now that I think about it. Sorry I'm easily amused :lol:

MasterOfDeath March 7th, 2008 10:57 am

Re: Fan Scripts: Script your own version of Harry Potter
 
Let me point out something that bothers me in your scirpt.

I don't like how Harry just asks her about how long she has been teaching there. It just seems out of character, out of place and outright odd and way too convienant. I think we can find a way to more casually enter the flashback explanation bit into the conversation.

Oh and was there a reason why you had Dumbledore himself conclude that Draco had Rosmerta under the curse? I think in the book Draco tells him.

HBP does have a chance to get in all the information about the prophecy that was cut from OOTP. You know, the more I think about it, the more I realize that the prophecy information belongs more in HBP because it is where we disocver more about it and we get that great speech from Dumbledore about 'the difference between being dragged into an arena and walking in with your head helpd up high." Also we get the Snape revelation. I hope Yates planned this and he knows what he's doing.

If we had all the prophecy information in OOTP, he would have had to remind the audeince of it anyway. This way get intorduced to all this prophecy stuff in this film where it matters more.

I like your idea of building up the question of who was the spy over the course of the film. I always wondered why in the books, Harry never once questions WHO spied on the prophecy. It's a detail you'd think he'd be hungry to hear.

Though you don't want to hammer it either.

Learning about Snape being the spy right before heading out the cave turns on the tension so brillaintly and sets up the ending, reminding the audience most strongly that Snape could be bad or good and leave them wondering for when Snape steps out on that tower, the question of Snape's loyalties will be fresh in their minds.

There is so many different ways to re-interpet these wonderful stories into film adaptations that it is simply impossible that no one will ever try to remake these films in the far future.

Phrozenone March 7th, 2008 11:13 am

Re: Fan Scripts: Script your own version of Harry Potter
 
heh yeah I was having problems bringing up the conversation so I just stuck it in there. Trust me I'm not happy with it either.

I'm thinking that maybe later on Harry mentions to Ron and Hermione what Dumbledore said (About Trelawney making the prophecy and Hermione being suprised because she thought she was rubbish) and OBVIOUSLY the thing to do is to go and ask Trelawney about it himself but Harry doesn't think about it until that moment.

Which means I'd have to add more to the conversation....maybe something like this...

TRELAWNEY
I miss having you in my classes Harry, you were never much of a Seer..but you were a wonderful Object…

HARRY
Thanks....I think.....

TRELAWNEY
By chance could you tell me how you found out about the room my boy...

HARRY
Oh...I...um...needed the bathroom once and viola!

TRELAWNEY
Oh? Yes I guess it could be useful for that. I found it my first year teaching here actually....

HARRY
Your first year.....
(A light goes off in Harry's eyes)

TRELAWNEY
Ah yes my dear boy....remember like it was yesterday...I can't believe it's been 16 years....

HARRY
Professor....do you by chance remember the inteview that got you the job?

TRELAWNEY
Indeed I do. It was Dumbledore who interviewed me you know?

The scene goes into a flashback of Trelawney and Dumbledore sitting in a room in the Hogs Head


And it proceeds as followed. Is that a LITTLE better MasterofDeath :p

Hmmm apparently my brain works best at night or something :lol: that's just an idea though...sorry if it sucks but making a little mystery of 'Who disturbed Trelawney' would be cool....but as you said MasterofDeath I wouldn't make it into a big deal or anything

Also after re reading it I was going to cut the whole 'Rosmerta under a curse' thing anyways...I doubt anyone really cares :lol:

MasterOfDeath March 7th, 2008 11:21 am

Re: Fan Scripts: Script your own version of Harry Potter
 
:tu: That's perfect!

I never thought Rosemarta would even make the movie. I don't think she is really needed at all....

Phrozenone March 7th, 2008 11:26 am

Re: Fan Scripts: Script your own version of Harry Potter
 
:D

And the ONLY reason I would argue keeping her is....I want someone to say 'The Dark Mark' before they notice it you know? I just love it because it gives Harry and Dumbledore that moment where they both slowly look up at the school and then the camera slowly pans up

ALTHOUGH....(Jeez my brain is on FIRE late night/early mornings)...

After Dumbledore tells Harry to get Snape Harry will say he'll be back and run out from the building.

HARRY
Sir....

DUMBLEDORE
Harry....what's wrong...

HARRY
The...Dark Mark....sir....

Then Dumbledore will slowly walk up to Harry and look off into the distance where we will pan up slowly and BAM Dark Mark over Hogwarts....

So you're right...next version of my HBP script...she's OUT! :p

MasterOfDeath March 7th, 2008 11:33 am

Re: Fan Scripts: Script your own version of Harry Potter
 
There's also another way of doing the scene.

The camera pans past a building and WE see the dark mark before they do.

I don't know there might be something cliche about someone exclaiming "The dark mark!" and then just panning to the dark mark.

It might be more suspeseful if we see the dark mark first and then they notice the mark?

It's just an early morning thought. :relax:


And yes, your on fire tonight, Phrozenone! Keep it BURNING, baby! :rockon::cool::p:lol:

You the MAN, Phrozenone

Phrozenone March 7th, 2008 11:36 am

Re: Fan Scripts: Script your own version of Harry Potter
 
I'm just all for the pan up :lol:

ALTHOUGH (I seem to be saying this alot tonight) Reading what you said just gave me a thought that sent shivers up my spine.

How about the entire time that they dialogue between Harry and Dumbledore is happening their backs are turned to the castle. So while all the 'I need Severus" and stuff is happening the audience see's the Dark Mark floating over the school in the distance. That would be CRAZY! Then Harry looks back and alerts Dumbledore..yadda yadda

To give you a visual reference...kinda like when Cedric and Harry were pulled to the graveyard. Just imagine that building in the background of that scene is Hogwarts with the Dark Mark and Cedric is Dumbledore....wow

Although I still want my pan though :lol: THAT could possibly make me change my mind because I can see the audience reaction while Harry and Dumbledore are clueless.

Good idea MoD!!

*Starts pondering next HBP script rewrite*

MasterOfDeath March 7th, 2008 11:48 am

Re: Fan Scripts: Script your own version of Harry Potter
 
No problem my friend.

Hey, It's me :cool:

That's actually exactly what I had in mind. That the audience would see the mark and the suspense would be that the characters don't know. It's like one of those classic: "BEHIND YOU!!!" moments in the old horror films.

I can't wait for the rewrite! Don't forgot to include my own lines in the begining when Harry and Dumbledore are walking to Slughorn's house:

DUMBLEDORE
Stay vigilant, Harry. I give you every right to use any jinx, hex or spell that comes to mind if you need to defend yourself. These are dangerous times.

HARRY
Alright, but I can't say I'm too worried, sir.

DUMBLEDORE
Oh? And why not?

Harry is now very arkward and shy.

HARRY
Er...well....I am with you.

Dumbledore laughs.

DUMBLEDORE
Ah, Harry you make it so hard to be modest....

Harry smiles

DUMBLEDORE
Even so..it won't hurt to keep an eye out, hmm? *serious and grave now* Some evil in this world is beyond even me, Harry.


That's what your revised scirpt needs. More ADAPTATION. Alot of your lines are only taken from the book. Be creative. Add some new life to the scirpt. Make up your own lines keeping to the canon and nature of the character of course but don't be afraid to be creative.

Keep up the good work! :tu:

Phrozenone March 7th, 2008 12:09 pm

Re: Fan Scripts: Script your own version of Harry Potter
 
Thanks and I'll surely add those lines (To your credit of course) and you're right.

I really didn't want to go into hardcore adaptation mode until I saw OOTP though you know? Now that I have in my mind what I want to do (And I know the ending of the series YAY) I'll be able to really get in and try to make it my own (But keeping the feeling right)

You've inspired me to start rewriting HBP (I'll finish DH soon enough..there's SO much I need to change in HBP first) So when I wake up the rewriting will begin.

Also since I'm tired and there have been a number of posts since earlier I'll just go ahead and post the ending of my HBP script. It's been a long journey but it only took 8 pages for me to make it here. Thanks to everyone in this thread who has given me opinions and I'll be using them next time.

Where's ArryGrotter? You should get back in here and stop having a 'real' life :lol: Anyways here's the ending to the third version of my HBP script....4th version starts tomorrow and hopefully there will be interest to read it when I'm done.

Quote:

EXT. FOOT OF TOWER/HOGWARTS GROUNDS/HAGRIDS CABIN-SAME NIGHT

The death eater body becomes rigid and falls as Harry runs and jumps over it down the stairs after Snape and Draco. We see him run out of the tower into the ongoing battle that’s below. We see McGonagall, Neville, Ginny, Tonks, Lupin, Ron, fighting against a group of Death Eaters. Amycus is throwing spells at Ginny but they seem to just bounce off of her.

AMYCUS
You can’t dance forever pretty..Crucio..Cruico!!!!

HARRY
Impedimenta!

The spell hits Amycus in the chest and he is lifted off the ground and slammed into a wall.

GINNY
HARRY LOOK OUT!!

Harry turns around and Greyback lounges towards him. Harry steps back but trips over a body. He looks and see’s Bill bloody face staring blankly to the sky.

HARRY
No…

GREYBACK
I’ve always wanted to take a bite of the famous...Harry...Potter…

He jumps on Harry with his teeth glaring. He opens his mouth to take a bite.

HARRY
Petrificus Totalus!
(We see Greybacks eyes widen as he collaspes against Harry. Harry pushes him off.)
Ginny, did you see Snape and Malfoy?

GINNY
Yeah they went that way but Harry….

He gets up and starts to run towards the castle. He starts to run full speed dodging spells as they fly all around him and trips over a body. He sits up and see’s it is Neville.s

HARRY
Neville are you…

NEVILLE
M’all right Harry. Snape n’ Malfoy…

HARRY
I’m on it.

He jumps up and once again runs towards the castle. The scene cuts to him running out of the front doors of Hogwarts and we see an outline of three people running across the yard. There is an explosing in the distance and we see that Hagrids hut is on fire.

HARRY
HAGRID!!!

Harry starts to run towards the cabin when a spell hits him in his back knocking him over. We see him grab his wand and just as he spins around yells

HARRY
Impedimenta!

The spell hits one of the two death eaters that are behind him and Harry gets up and begins to run towards Hagrids cabin. He see’s Hagrid facing off against a Death Eater and we now see Snape and Draco still running.

HARRY
Stupefy!

The spell misses Snape and he stops.

SNAPE
Run Draco.

Draco runs off as Snape turns around to face Harry. They’re about twenty yards apart from each other.

HARRY
Cruc…

Snape waves his hand and Harry is thrown backwards off his feet. Harry gets up again and points his wand at Snape.

HARRY
Cruci….

He is knocked off of his feet again.

SNAPE
No Unforgivable Curses from you Potter! You haven’t got the nerve or the ability…

HARRY
Incarc…
(Snape flicks his arm and the spell is canceled.)
FIGHT BACK!!! FIGHT BACK YOU COWARDLY…

SNAPE
Coward, did you call me, Potter? Your father would never attack me unless it was four on one, what would you call him, I wonder?

HARRY
STUPE…

SNAPE
Blocked again and again and again until you learn to keep your mouth shut and your mind closed, Potter!
(He looks at the Death Eater running up behind Harry.)
Now come! It is time to be gone, before the Ministry turns up…

HARRY
Impedi…

DEATH EATER
Crucio!

Harry falls on the ground shaking in pain.

SNAPE
No!
(The Death Eater cancels the curse.)
Have you forgotten our orders? Potter belongs to the Dark Lord…. we are to leave him. Go! Go!

The Death Eater runs off as Harry lets out a scream of rage. He pushes himself up and points his wand at Snape.

HARRY
Sectum…!

Snape flicks his wand and the spell is repelled knocking the wand from Harry hand.

SNAPE

No, Potter! You dare use my own spells against me? It was I who invented them.

HARRY
You!?!

SNAPE
Yes Harry, I am the Half Blood Prince. And you’d turn my inventions on me would you? I don’t think so.

Harry runs for his wand and Snape shoots a spell at it knocking it furthur away.

HARRY
Kill me then, kill me like you killed him, you coward…

SNAPE
DON’T…CALL ME A COWARD

He points his wand at Harry and a Death Eater runs from behind the flames.

DEATH EATER
The Ministry is closing in lets go Snape…LET’S GO!

SNAPE
Until next time Potter…

Snape points his wand at Harry and we see a flash of light as a cut swipes across Harry’s face knocking him backwards and onto the ground. The scene fades to black…

EXT. HAGRIDS HUT- NIGHT (MOMENTS LATER)

HAGRID
(In the darkness.)
Harry…Harry…
(As Harry opens his eyes we see Hagrid pop into view.) Yeh all righ’? Speak ter me, Harry…

HARRY
I’m all right…are you?

HAGRID
Course I am…take more’n that ter finish me.
(He helps Harry up and Harry looks to see Hagrids house burnt down with still a few fires burning.)
S’not too bad, Nothin Dumbledore won’ be able to put righ…

HARRY
(With a look of realization and hurt on his face.)
Hagrid…

HAGRID
What happened up thur Harry? I jus’ saw them Death Eaters runnin’ down from the castle, but what the ruddy hell was Snape doin with ‘em? Where’s he gone…was he chasin’ them?

HARRY
He…he killed…

HAGRID
Killed? Snape kiled? What’re yeh on abou’ Harry?

HARRY
Dumbledore.

HAGRID
Wha?

HARRY
Snape killed…Dumbledore

Harry looks up and we see a shot of the Dark Mark over the tower.

EXT. FOOT OF ASTRONOMY TOWER-NIGHT (MOMENTS LATER)

The scene cuts to Harry walking towards a crowd of students and teachers standing on the foot of the tower. He and Hagrid move slowly through the crowd of people. When they make it to the front the camera pans to a shot of Dumbledore lying on the ground with his arms and legs stretched out. Harry falls to his knees and begins to cry. We see a shot of Hagrid falling to his knees and crying helplessly. Harry looks up and next to his body is the object that Dumbledore got out of the cave. Harry grabs it and opens it revealing a sheet of parchment. Harry takes it out and opens it and the camera pans over his shoulder so the audience can read what it says.

{To the Dark Lord. I know I will be dead long before you read this but I want you to know that it was I who discovered your secret. I have stolen the real Horcrux and intend to destory it as soon as I can. I face death in the hope that when you meet your match, you will be mortal once more. R.A.B.}

Harry crumbles the paper in his hands and closes his eyes as the camera pans back and fades once again to black.

INT. HOSPITAL WARD-NIGHT (MOMENTS LATER)

The scene fades back in with a torn Harry walking into the hospital ward. We see Neville asleep on the bed and Hermion, Luna, Tonks, and Lupin are around a bed at the end of the ward. Harry walks ups to Neville’s bed and Ginny walks up to him as he looks at him.

GINNY
He’s gonna be alright.

HARRY
Is anyone else…dead?

GINNY
No, but Bill was…
(she drops her head as tears begin to fall)
He was attacked by Greyback. We don’t know what the aftereffects will be
(He grabs her and hugs her.)
Mum, Dad, and Fluer are on their way.

HARRY
Fluer?

GINNY
Apparently the cow really does love him.
(She starts to cry)
Oh Harry, if we hadn’t had your Felix potion, I think we’d all be dead.

INT. SAME ROOM-MINUETES LATER

The scene cuts to the all sitting around Bills bed, Ron is also there with them. Bill is severly torn but bandaged. Professor McGonnagell is talking to Madam Pomfrey in the distance

LUPIN
I don’t think that Bill we be a true werewolf, seeing as Greyback wasn’t transformed at the time.

RON
Dumbledore might know something that’d work, though. Where is he? Bill fought those maniacs on Dumbledore’s orders, he can’t leave him in this state…

GINNY
Ron…Dumbledore….

LUPIN
What is it Ginny?

TONKS
(She looks Ginny in her eyes.)
No…it can’t be?

RON
What is it?

HARRY
He’s dead Ron.

LUPIN
No!
(He jumps up in a state of shock)
It…no..I won’t…

He puts his hand up to his mouth and turns around. Tonks jumps up and comforts him.

RON
How did it happen?

HARRY
Snape killed him. I was under the Invisibility Cloak, he immobilized me. Malfoy came through the door and disarmed him
(We see a shot of Hermione putting her hand over her mouth at the realization that Harry has been right about Malfoy all along.),
More death eaters arrived, and then Snape. Snape did the Avada Kadavra.

We hear Madam Pomfrey burst into tears and McGonnagell rushes up to the bed.

McGONNAGELL
Snape? I…can’t believe it…but he trusted…

TONKS
Dumbledore swore he was on our side…

LUPIN
He was a highly accomplished Occlumens, Snape….

McGONNAGALL
I…I don’t understand…

HARRY
What’s not to understand? Snape passed Voldemot the information that made him hunt down my mum and dad.

LUPIN
What do you…?

HARRY
Snape then told Dumbledore he hadn’t realized what he was doing and that he was sorry they were dead.

LUPIN
Snape hated James, how could Dumbledore believe that!

The room goes silent for a moment as everyone looks like they’re going through an inner emotional conflict.

RON
I messed up, Harry....

INT. OUTSIDE OF ROOM OF REQUIREMENTS/CORRIDOR- (FLASHBACK)

The scene fades to a flashback of Ron, Neville, and Ginny standing outside of the Room of Requiremnt.

RON (V.O.)
We were standing there waiting when he came out of the Room clutching his Hand of Glory, it only gives light to the holder. When he saw us it went instantly dark and we couldn’t see anything.

LUPIN (V.O.)
Luckily they ran into us immediately and told u what had happened. We found the Death Eaters minute’s later heading towards the Astronomy Tower. A fight broke out, one got away, probably to set off the Dark Mark.

INT. OUTSIDE SNAPES OFFICE- (FLASHBACK)

HERMIONE (V.O.)
Luna and I were outside of Snapes office. We didn’t know what was going on and it was nearly midnight when Professor Flitwick came sprinting down into the dungeons. He didn’t see us, but he ran in and we heard him telling Snape he had to go back with him. We heard a thump and Snape came running out…we thought Flitwick just fainted and we went to take care of him, relieved that Snape was going to help with the fight.

EXT. OUTSIDE THE ASTRONOMY TOWER-(FLASHBACK)

TONKS (V.O.)
We were losing the fight. Neville had been hurt and it was dark. Curses flying everywhere, the Malfoy boy had disappeared and then we see a group of Death Eaters running up the tower. We tried to get in but there was some kind of block. Snape ran through it without a problem however.

HARRY (V.O.)
You probably needed a Dark Mark tattoo to get through.

LUPIN (V.O.)
One of the Death Eaters fired off a hex that caused half the ceiling to fall and also broke the barrier. We all ran forward then Snape and the boy came down, of course we didn’t attack them. We let them past, we thought they were on our side…

INT. HOSPITAL WING-NIGHT

The scene now shifts back to present day.

RON
I can’t believe this…Dumbleodore…

Everyone looks at each other in silence. Tonks and Lupin embrace each other closely and Harry turns away and looks out of the window and see’s Fawkes sitting there on the ledge. A tear falls from Fawkes eye and he flies off. There is a wide shot of the school as Fawkes circles it paying his homage to Dumbledore.

INT. DUMBLEDORE’S OFFICE-NIGHT

The scene then shows a shot of Dumbledore’s office. Everything is as he left it, well except for one thing. The camera pans up and we see a painting of Dumbledore on the wall, asleep along with the other Headmasters and Headmistresses of the school.

The scene fades to black.

INT. GRYFFINDOR COMMON ROOM-NIGHT (A COUPLE OF DAYS LATER)

The camera fades back in on Harry and Ron are sitting at the fire and Hermione walks in with a book.

HERMIONE
Harry, I found something out this morning, in the library.

HARRY
R.A.B?

HERMIONE
No, actually it’s about Snape.

HARRY
What about him?

HERMIONE
Well, it’s just that I was sort of right about the Half-Blood Prince business.

HARRY
Do you have to rub it in, Hermione? How d’you think I feel about that now?

HERMIONE
No, I didn’t mean that! Its just that I was right about Eileen Prince once owning the book. You see, she was Snape’s mother.
(She sits down beside him and pulls out an old Daily Prophet.)
It is an announcement about Eileen Prince marrying a man called Tobias Snape, and then later an announcement saying that she’d given birth to a…

HARRY
Murderer.

HERMIONE
Well…yes. Snape must have been proud of being ‘half a Prince’ you see? Tobias Snape was a muggle from what it said in here.

HARRY
It fits you think? He’s just like Voldemort, Pure-blood mother, muggle father. I should’ve shown the book to Dumbledore. All that time he was showing me how Voldemort was evil even when he was at school, and I had proof Snape was too.

The all fall silent and the scene fades to…

EXT. THE BLACK LAKE-EVENING

…A shot of the lake. Many witches and wizards are sitting in chairs in front of it. In the front of it was a table where a body covered in purple scarlet. There is a shot of Harry, Ginny, Ron, and Hermione sitting in their row, tears falling down Hermione eyes. The camera pans to show Hagrid sitting beside Grawp.

There is a big explosion as bright, white flames erupted around Dumbledore’s body. They rose and were transformed into a white marble tomb. We see arrows fly through the sky and we see a shot of the centaurs giving their tribute. Harry’s eyes fill with tears as he puts his hand over the locket that’s around his neck. We see shots of different witches and wizards before the scene cuts to Harry and Ginny are walking together in the midst of everyone else leaving from the funeral. He grabs her arm and stops walking. She turns and looks at him.

HARRY
Ginny…I….we…I can’t be involved with you anymore.

GINNY
(She smiles)
It’s for some stupid, nobil reason, isn’t it?

HARRY
It’s been like…like something out of someone else’s life, these last few weeks with you. But…I’ve got things to do alone now.
(She simply stares at him.)
Voldemort used people his enemies are close to. Think how much danger you’ll be in if we keep this up, he’ll try to get to me through you.


GINNY
What if I don’t care?

HARRY
But I do, about you. How do you think I’d feel if this…. if this was your funeral…

GINNY
(There is a moment of silence)
I never really gave up on you. Hermione told me if I go with some other people, maybe you would notice me a bit more…

HARRY
Smart girl that Hermione. (FYE: My little Kloves moment :lol)I just wish I’d asked you sooner. We could’ve had age’s…months…

GINNY
But you’ve been to busy saving the Wizarding world. I knew this would happen in the end. I knew that you wouldn’t be happy unless you were hunting Voldemort. Maybe that’s why I like you so much.

Harry looks away and see’s Ron holding Hermione as she cries in his shoulder. Lupin and Tonks are also holding hands and he looks down at her and wipes her hair from her face. Harry turns around and walks away from Ginny towards Dumbledore’s tomb.

SCRIMGEOUR
Harry! I’ve been hoping to have a word….

HARRY
No....

SCRIMGEOUR
This was a dreadful tragedy, Dumbledore and I had our disagreements, but he was a very great wizard. I know that you were very close to him…the bond between you two…

HARRY
What do you want?

SCRIMGEOUR
(He stares at Harry.)
The word is that you were with him when he left the school the night he died.

HARRY
Whose words?

SCRIMGEOUR
There were two broomsticks on top of the tower Harry, the ministry can add two and two.

HARRY
Glad to hear it. Where I went with Dumbledore and what we did is my business. He didn’t want people to know.

SCRIMGEOUR
Dumbledore is gone now Harry, we must…

HARRY
He will only be gone from the school when none here are loyal to him.

SCRIMGEOUR
Potter…even Dumbleodre cannot return from the …

HARRY
I’m not saying he can. You wouldn’t understand…but I’ve got nothing to tell you.

SCRIMGEOUR
The ministry can offer you all sorts of protection Harry. I would be delighted to place a couple of my aurors at your service…

HARRY
(Laughs)
Do you think a couple of aurors are gonna stop Voldemort from trying to kill me? Thanks, but no thanks.

SCRIMGEOUR
So the request I made of you at Christmas…

HARRY
The one where I tell the world what a great job you’re doing in exchange for…

SCRIMGEOUR
For raising everyone’s morale!

HARRY
(He pauses)
Released Stan Shunpike yet?

SCRIMGEOUR
Well…I see you are…

HARRY
Dumbledore’s man through and through, that’s right.

He winks and walks away with a smile on his face.

EXT. THE BLACK LAKE-SUNSET (MINUETES LATER)

The scene cuts to him standing on the edge of the lake looking out into it. Hermione and Ron walk up behind him slowly and stand behind him looking out at the lake aswell.

HERMIONE
I can’t bare the idea that we might never come back. How can Hogwarts close?

RON
Maybe it won’t. We’re not in any more danger here than we are at home, are we?

HARRY
I’m not coming back even if it does reopen.

HERMIONE
I knew you were going to say that.

HARRY
I’m going back to the Dursley’s once more, because Dumbledore wanted me to. But it’ll be a short visit, and then I’ll be gone for good.

HERMIONE
But where will you go if you don’t come back to school?

HARRY
I can visit my parent’s graves; I’d like that. Then I’ve got to track down the rest of the Horcruxes, haven’t I ? That’s what he wanted me to do. Then I go after Voldemort and if I met Snape along the way, so much better for me, so much worse for him.

There is a brief silence amongst them.

RON
We’ll be there.

HARRY
What?

RON
At your aunt and uncle’s house and then we’ll go with you wherever you’re going.

HARRY
No…


HERMIONE
You said to us once before that there was time to turn back if we wanted to. We’ve had time, haven’t we?

RON
We’re with you for whatever happens mate.

Harry smiles as he puts his arms around them both as they start to walk back towards the castle.The camera slowly backs away from them and off showing a shot of Hogwarts and the sunset. The screen fades to black and end credits begin

-The End-
Now I KNOW what some of you are going to say :lol: Remember this was all pre OOTP movie and DH book so I just threw things in because I thought they'd be important :lol:

Thanks for reading everyone :)

Also here's a list of everything I cut out for anyone who cares (And notice how OFF I was on some very IMPORTANT things that I thought wasn't needed)

CUTS:

-MUNDUNGUS FLETCHER
-FINAL QUIDDITCH MATCH
-LUNA’S COMMENTARY
-BUCKBEAK
-ELABORATION OF TONKS AND LUPINS RELATIONSHIP (THERE ARE CLUES)
-RON BEING TRICKED TO THINK HE TOOK FELIX FELICES
-RONS VICTORY IN QUIDDITCH
-THE PRIME MINISTER
-HAGRIDS ANGER TOWARDS THE TRIO NOT TAKING HIS CLASS
-FRED AND GEORGE’S JOKE PENS
-HARRY TRYING TO GET INTO THE ROOM OF REQUIRMENTS TO SEE WHAT DRACO IS UP TOO
-SNAPE TELLING HARRY TO BRING HIS BOOKS TO HIM (AFTER THE DRACO FIGHT)
-HARRY THROWING THE ADVANCED POTIONS BOOK INTO THE ROOM OF REQUIREMENTS AFTER HARMING DRACO
-DRACO LEAVING QUIDDITCH GAME WITH TWO “GIRLS” THAT ARE REALLY CRABBE AND GOYLE IN DISQUISE
-ARAGOG’S FUNERAL
-HERBOLOGY CLASS
-HAGRID AT DIAGON ALLEY
-HARRY’S DISCUSSION WITH MCGONNAGALL AFTER DUMBLEDORE’S DEATH IN DUMBLEDORE’S OFFICE
-SPINNERS END
-THE MEMORY WHEN TOM RIDDLE MEETS MORFIN GAUNT
-CHARMS CLASS
-FLUER DELACOUR (SHE IS OF COURSE MENTIONED….SHE’S SACRAFICED FOR BILL WEASLEY INSTEAD)
-DUMBLEDORE AND HARRY VISITING SLUGHORN AND CONVINCING HIM TO WORK AT HOGWARTS

MasterOfDeath March 7th, 2008 12:56 pm

Re: Fan Scripts: Script your own version of Harry Potter
 
Thanks for posting the end!

I was going to point out alot of mistakes but since you reminded us how long ago this was made, I won't.

Let me just say Bill and Fleur have no place in this film in my opinion.

I'm happy you are going to use my lines in your script! I'm honored. :)

Another little note: One of Ginny's character traits is she never cries. It is what Harry loves about her. I would cut her crying if it was me.

Interesting about adding the bit where we see Dumbledore's office with his portrait though I really feel strongly that the film should cut right from Harry finding Dumbledore's body to a montage and then the funeral.

Hermione and Luna explaning what happened during the battle is not nessesary though I do love your idea for voice overs and your characterizations are spot on.

After Dumbledore is killed and Harry is chasing the death eaters through the castle, I wouldn' have any dialog. I'd have the music and battle sounds take over the soundtrack and segue into a fast paced decent down through the castle following the battles here and there. I would keep Greyback attacking Harry though, what a frightning bit! And Harry and Ginny saving each other is cute.

I imagine a free fall dropping camera pan down through the room with many moving staircases with people fighting on the stairs and bodies falling down, the paitnings screaming and dodging spells as the camera would zoom down down down to the bottom where we see Snape and co running out of Hogwarts followed by Harry hot on their heels.

Let me make another suggestion about the revelation of Eileen Prince. I wouldn't have Hermione telling us all about it but Snape during his and Harry's duel:

SNAPE
Not everyone are so PROUD of their fathers, Potter! Not I. I am the Half-Blood Prince! I invented those spells you used against me!

:lol: about the Kloves thing with Hermione!

Good work :tu:

I can't wait to read the revised script and I'm flattered to hear I've inspired you. That means alot to me.

btw, 'real' life is overrated. :relax:

lcbaseball22 March 7th, 2008 11:18 pm

Re: Fan Scripts: Script your own version of Harry Potter
 
Phrozenone,

Amazing, great work. I only read a couple parts that you posted, but I gotta say I loved you take on the Sectumsempra scene and the entire ending portion. You cut some stuff out but kept the essentials. If the movie is anything like your portions of the script that I read I think we're in for a great one. :drool:

One thing I really liked about the DD death scene was that you just had him falling backwards off the tower rather than being blasted into the air and falling off like Jo described. I felt this was a slip up on her part because every other time AK is seen they just go limp suddenly.
In fact when I read that scene in the book, I thought for sure DD wasn't dead because they spell didn't perform like AK and figured that it was a set up faked death and Snape didn't mean to harm which is required for the unforgivable curses or simply said a non-verbal spell as well that acted diffently. But the wait you described it left no doubt in my mind that he was dead. Great job.

I'm so excited for this film. And thanks for posting your take on HBP Phrozenone. That must have taken a long time to put together!

MasterOfDeath March 7th, 2008 11:56 pm

Re: Fan Scripts: Script your own version of Harry Potter
 
Ironicly, I felt differently about Dumbledore's death. I think that the way it is portayed in the book will make better cinema because it's a visual idea and it's full of symbolism.

I think Jo Rowling being a Christan framed Dumbledore's death at least subconciously to mirror that of Christ metaphoricly. One of Christ's disciples Judas betrayed Jesus and led to him being crucified. In a similar fashion (at least within the self contained story of HBP alone) Snape betrays Dumbledore to his death leading to Dumbledore's christlike posture before he falls off the tower.

I'm not a Christian myself but that imagery is just too powerful to abanden in a film.

Who cares if the AK curse dosen't lift people up? In the movies, Cedric was BLASTED back and Sirius was slowly pushed back.

Sometimes the drama must overtake the logic in the films and at the same time it is adhering to the canon and what Jo Rowling intended in my opinion.

lcbaseball22 March 8th, 2008 12:36 am

Re: Fan Scripts: Script your own version of Harry Potter
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by MasterOfDeath (Post 4949755)
Ironicly, I felt differently about Dumbledore's death. I think that the way it is portayed in the book will make better cinema because it's a visual idea and it's full of symbolism.

I think Jo Rowling being a Christan framed Dumbledore's death at least subconciously to mirror that of Christ metaphoricly. One of Christ's disciples Judas betrayed Jesus and led to him being crucified. In a similar fashion (at least within the self contained story of HBP alone) Snape betrays Dumbledore to his death leading to Dumbledore's christlike posture before he falls off the tower.

I'm not a Christian myself but that imagery is just too powerful to abanden in a film.

Who cares if the AK curse dosen't lift people up? In the movies, Cedric was BLASTED back and Sirius was slowly pushed back.

Sometimes the drama must overtake the logic in the films and at the same time it is adhering to the canon and what Jo Rowling intended in my opinion.

I see your point. I guess it's just the fact that I'm an engineering student and pay close attention to details as well as being a perfectionist. So when spells are portrayed differently than they were before or they aren't shown correctly in the films I notice that.

I also came to that conclusion mainly because I didn't want to believe Dumbledore was dead. It's the same way I felt after Sirius died, I was like what the heck he only passed through a veil, he's not dead!

Phrozenone March 8th, 2008 2:31 am

Re: Fan Scripts: Script your own version of Harry Potter
 
Thank you both so much :)

Funny story this script...if we're talking a page a minuete like they do the real world....equals a minuet shorter than COS :lol: So I have to cut it down ALOT.

I have a few ideas though...hopefully once they're posted (My goal is to get the whole thing up before HBP is released) you'll be excited about them as I was when I thought about them.

I'm also going to challenge myself a bit this time around. I'm actually going to go with what I THINK they're doing with the actual movie and keep it to 3 (maybe) 4 memories and see is it possible to make sense of everything (Yes that means no Gaunts...but trust me guys...something I thought of last night may blow your minds :p)

It's going to be very different than this one and much shorter hopefully. It's amazing because I'm now on my 4th draft and each one has been SO different. That just goes to show that there are many ways to interpret these books (And now knowing the ending changes ALOT of things) Well I'm off to writing and thank you all SO much for your input because seeing what others think and feel about it helps alot.

And MoD you're the 2nd person to mention to me that about Ginny. I think I had her cry in my DH script (A few pages back if you want to read it...actually...you must...I'm REALLY interested in what you think of that) after Hedwigs Death...so no more tears for Ginny. Jeez :lol:

lcbaseball22 March 8th, 2008 3:36 am

Re: Fan Scripts: Script your own version of Harry Potter
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by Phrozenone (Post 4949875)
Thank you both so much :)

Funny story this script...if we're talking a page a minuete like they do the real world....equals a minuet shorter than COS :lol: So I have to cut it down ALOT.

I'm not sure exactly what you mean. What size page are you referring to? Like, it's 160 pages in a Word Processor?

What's wrong with being as long as Chamber of Secrets. I think 2.5 hrs. would be the perfect time for all the Harry Potter movies save maybe GoF and of course DH.

So my opinion would be to cut about 10 min. if it's 160 min., not sure if this is what you meant? Also, Chamber of Secrets seemed too long because it had too many filler scenes.

As MasterOfDeath mentioned, CoS has the best deleted scenes for example. I believe some of these should have been left in while other material that made the final cut should not have. Well, that just my opinion. I look forward to reading the revised script, that'll be interesting to try and predict what Kloves is doing!

EDIT: I mentioned this on on the HBP thread but I'll put it here too if you didn't see it.

I was just reading another few portions of your HBP script and there are a few things that I really loved, altough I think I was reading your first draft so I don't know if these have changed:


- First, I almost kind of like how you left out Spinner's End, it give's it more mystery. But taking the actors into consideration, I think this is too great of an oppurtunity to leave out a scene between Helena and Rickman!!!

- Second, I love how you introduced Slughon quickly and effectively on the train as this saves a lot of time for more important items. Even though I thought the book scene was cool I think it is wasted in the film!

- Second, the DADA scene with Snape is spot on perfection just like in the book. I love where Harry is a smartass and says, "There's no need to call me sir" This must stay in the film!!! You know Rickman will make this scene great in his interaction with Harry!

- Last, Potions class was awesome too. It was short, maybe 2-3 min. but it had the essentials. Only one thing I noticed. You should have thrown in a line or scene where Slughorn hands Harry and Ron the Potions books out of the cupboard. You see, you had Slughorn mention borrowing ingredients but not books. This made is seem really abrupt when all of sudden we see Harry reading scribbled things in the margins and it's like wait a minute, I thought Harry never bought a book? and why is it written it? Well, that's all.


Great Job, it's fantastic! :tu: :tu: :tu:

Phrozenone March 8th, 2008 9:15 am

Re: Fan Scripts: Script your own version of Harry Potter
 
Thanks Icbaseball22 :) Well needless to say this new one I'm writing is going to be opposite since I want to see how many ways I can write it so I'll be included the trip to Slughorn's home this time.

For a special treat I will post what I've done today for you all. It's not much and I'm ready for the criticism. Just playing with idea's at the moment..trying to release my inner Kloves :lol: As I said before I'm going to try and take out what we know they've taken out (Or think they have) in the actually HBP movie and see can I make them work. You'll see pretty soon what's missing. Hope you enjoy and if you don't then let me know!

Quote:

EXT. SPINNERS END-NIGHT

The screen fades in to a shot of a street sign reading SPINNERS END. The camera slowly pans out to show the FOGGY street and walking through the fog is two cloaked figures walking at a quick pace. The camera follows them up to a DARK HOUSE and one of them reaches out to knock. A LIGHT comes on within the house and the door slowly opens. SEVERUS SNAPE slowly walks out of the door and stares at the two mysterious figures.

SNAPE
Well well look who it is. Come in….

Snape steps to the side as the two figures walk inside the house. He takes a quick look into the foggy streets before closing the door.

INT. DARK HOUSE-MOMENTS LATER-NIGHT

The scene cuts to the hooded figures now taking off their cloaks and we now see that they are BELLATRIX LESTRANGE and NARCISSA MALFOY.

NARCISSA
I’m sorry to disturb you this late at night Severus but I thought it to be the best time…..I have been told to say nothing to anyone but…

BELLATRIX
Then you ought to hold your tongue! Patrticularly in present company! Why won’t you just listen to me sister! What’s done will be done….

SNAPE
Present company Bellatrix? What am I to understand by that?

BELLATRIX
That I don’t trust you Snape as you may very well know!

SNAPE
Charming atleast we share a mutual….dislike…for one another.

BELLATRIX
Why is Harry Potter still alive Snape? 6 years and you could’ve killed him! I can’t believe the Dark Lord has let you live…

SNAPE
This means I’ve given him the necessary answers to why Potter is still alive. Correct me if I’m wrong Bellatrix but it seems to be you don’t agree with the Dark Lord…

BELLATRIX
I spent years in Azkaban for him Snape!

SNAPE
I’m sure you were much help sitting in a prison cell….

BELLATRIX
How dare you!

SNAPE
I’ve followed the Dark Lord’s orders Bellatrix. I’ve played my part well. Dumbledore trusts me and therein lies my great value to the Dark Lord.

Snape glances down at his arm and watches the DARK MARK on his arm as it slightly moves back and forth. Bellatrix frowns and walks to the other side of the room in anger.

SNAPE
So what is it that you need from me Narcissa?

NARCISSA
You of course know of the mission that the Dark Lord has set forth?

SNAPE
I do…

NARCISSA
Severus…my son….my only son. I know this may be too much to ask of you but Severus would you look after him, see he comes to no harm?

Snape stares at her for a second. Bellatrix watches from the other room in silence with a look of fury in her eyes.

SNAPE
It might be possible…for me to help him.

NARCISSA
Will you swear to it? Will you make the Unbreakable Vow?

Bellatrix eyes widen in horror at this question and tears slowly fall from Narcissa’s eyes. Snape stares at her and slowly gets up and walks towards the window. The camera shows the view from outside of the dark house of Snape looking out of the curtain and SWOOSH he closes them. The camera pans up over the house and the title ‘HARRY POTTER AND THE HALF BLOOD PRINCE’ slowly comes towards the screen with the bright moon in the background. The camera continues to pan up over the moon pauses and starts to pan back down.


EXT-PRIVET DRIVE-NIGHT

A WIDESHOT of Privet Drive is now shown as the camera slowly pans closer to the buildings.

DUMBLEDORE
(Voiceover)
Dear Harry, If it is convenient to you I shall call at number four, Privet Drive, this coming Friday at eleven P.M. to escort you to the Burrow, where you have been invited to spend the remainder of your school holidays. If you are agreeable, I should also be glad of your assistance in a matter to which I hope to attend on the way to the Burrow. I shall explain this more fully when I see you. Hoping to see you this Friday, I am, yours most sincerely, Albus Dumbledore

As the voiceover is being read the camera gets closer to the houses and BAM one by one street lights start going out. We see a CLOAKED FIGURE standing in the street. As we get closer we see the figure hold up a DELUMINATOR and CLICK another light flies into it. The camera pans over this figures shoulder and continues to go towards NUMBER FOUR PRIVET DRIVE. The camera goes through the window of HARRY POTTERS room and we see him laying against the window asleep. The DOORBELL rings and Harry snaps out of his sleep quickly and backs up and BAM trips over his packed trunk which is on the floor. HEDWIG hoots as this happens. Harry jumps up and runs out of his room, down the stairs and opens the door with excitement.

EXT-NUMBER FOUR PRIVET DRIVE-SECONDS LATER-NIGHT

Standing there with a smile on his face is ALBUS DUMBLEDORE as he pulls back the cloak he was wearing.

DUMBLEDORE
I’m sorry Harry did I wake you?

HARRY
(Nervous chuckle)
No…of course not…I was wide awake….

DUMBLEDORE
Wonderful! Is there any chance that your Aunt and Uncle are home?

HARRY
No they’ve been gone all day. They’ve been taking Dudley to the doctor a lot. He hasn’t been the same since the dementor attack last year.

DUMBLEDORE
I’m sure that was a horrifying experience. In that case
(He pulls out a letter)
I would ask if you would leave this letter somewhere that they can find it.

HARRY
What is it?

DUMBLEDORE
Just a letter asking if they would be so kind to let you return once more next year. You see Harry fifteen years ago I put a powerful protection over this house and it will continue to hold as long as you can call this house ‘home.’ This magic will cease to operate the moment that you turn seventeen since as you know seventeen the age us wizards become adults.

HARRY
I honestly don’t think they care about that sir.

DUMBLEDORE
Ah I also included a few choice words but I think you’re a little too young to hear that part just yet. Now put this away Harry and I’ll send your bags to the Burrow so we can step out into the night and pursue that flighty temptress, adventure.

Harry smiles as he takes the letter and returns inside.

EXT-PRIVET DRIVE-NIGHT-MOMENTS LATER

The scene fades to Harry and Dumbledore walking down the middle of the street. Someone riding a bike passes by and gives an odd look at them and Dumbledore simply smiles and waves at them. As he waves we notices that the back of Dumbledore’s hand is BLACKENED and SHRIVELED.

HARRY
Sir your hand…what happened to it?

DUMBLEDORE
Ah this. Well I have no time to really explain it now I’m afraid. You have not, of course, passed your Apparition Test am I correct?

HARRY
No sir, I thought you had to be seventeen?

DUMBLEDORE
You do, so you will need to hold on to my arm very tightly.
(Harry grabs Dumbledore’s arm)
Very good, well here we go.

SWOSH they’re gone in a puff of smoke. The scene cuts to Harry holding onto Dumbledore as they’re flying upwards as the world around them is spinning quickly as if they’re in the middle of a vortex. Soon the spinning slows down and SWOOSH it comes to a halt and Dumbledore grabbes Harry before he falls over from the land.

EXT-BUDLEIGH BABBERTON-NIGHT-MOMENTS LATER

Harry dusts his self off as Dumbledore pulls out his wand and looks around. They’re standing in front of a WAR MEMORIAL and Harry pulls on his ears as if to make them pop.

HARRY
So that’s apparition huh? I think I much prefer flying.

DUMBLEDORE
It does take some getting used to I’m afraid. Get your wand out Harry and keep it at the ready.

HARRY
I thought I’m not allowed to use magic outside of school, sir?

DUMBLEDORE
If there is an attack I give you permission to use any counterjinx or curse that might occur to you.

HARRY
I don’t think I need to worry about being attacked tonight sir.

DUMBLEDORE
Oh? Why’s that?

HARRY
Well….ugh…because I’m with you.

DUMBLEDORE
(Smiles lightly)
Ah Harry, you make it so hard to be modest…

They begin to walk slowly through this dark place

DUMBLEDORE
Needless to say Harry the times have become dangerous, as I’m sure you know, since Voldemort has come out into the open.

HARRY
The explosion of The Brockdale Bridge that just happened…do you think…?

DUMBLEDORE
Oh I know it was Lord Voldemort and his Death Eaters Harry. Not even the muggles are safe. Have you noticed how foggy it’s been lately?

HARRY
Yeah I noticed that….

DUMBLEDORE
The Dementors are breeding Harry…yes yes dark times indeed lie ahead for both of us.

HARRY
Sir…where exactly are we?

DUMBLEDORE
Ah yes I forgot to mention it. We’re in the charming village of Budleigh Babberton. We are here to persuade an old colleague of mine to come out of retirement and return to Hogwarts. Ah and here we are!

They stop in front of a SMALL STONE HOUSE. The front door is hanging off its hinges and Dumbledore looks both ways before proceeding through the GATE into the yard towards the door.

INT-STONE HOUSE-NIGHT-MOMENTS LATER

The walk into the house and a scene of total devastation meets their eyes. Things are EVERYWHERE. The camera pans to a grandfather clock that is lying splintered at their feet. Dumbledore turns to go into the living area and Harry follows. Dumbledore raises his wand and the light from the tip shows the walls has something that is darkly red and glutinous spattered across it.

DUMBLEDORE
Not pretty, is it? Yes, something horrible has happened here.

Dumbledore continues to look around the room slowly.

HARRY
Maybe there was a fight and they dragged him off….

Dumbledore glances over to an OVERSTUFFED ARMCHAIR that is sitting in the corner of the room and stares at it for a second.

DUMBLEDORE
I don’t think so….

HARRY
You mean he’s still here?….

Dumbledore quickly walks up to the chair and pokes it with the tip of his wand and the sound ‘OUCH’ is heard.

DUMBLEDORE
Good evening, Horace.

Harry watches as the armchair slowly begins to transform into HORACE SLUGHORN who is now standing there rubbing his stomach where Dumbledore poked him.

SLUGHORN
There was no need to stick the wand in that hard. It hurt! What gave it away?

DUMBLEDORE
My dear Horace if the Death Eaters really had come to call, the Dark Mark would have been set over the house.

SLUGHORN
(Slapping his palm across his forehead)
The Dark mark…knew there was something I forgot.

He pulls out his wand and SWOOSH everything that was destroyed starts to repair itself. Harry stands back as the pictures fly back on the wall, dishes repair themselves, and the broken lamp on the floor repairs itself and lights the room. Slughorn gives Dumbledore a slight frown and looks over towards Harry and notices his SCAR.

SLUGHORN
Oho! Oho!

DUMBLEDORE
This is Harry Potter. Harry, this is an old friend and colleague of mine, Horace Slughorn.

SLUGHORN
(Looking angrily at Dumbledore)
So that’s how you thought you’d persuade me, is it? Well, the answer’s no, Albus!

DUMBLEDORE
Well do you mind if we have a seat atleast?

SLUGHORN
Go ahead!

Harry and Dumbledore both sit down on the small couch and Slughorn sits in a chair opposite them.

SLUGHORN
Now I don’t mean to be rude Albus….

DUMBLEDORE
Yet sadly, accidental rudeness occurs alarmingly often old friend. So how have you been keeping Horace?

SLUGHORN
Not so well. Weak chest. Wheezy. Can’t move like I used to. You must know what I mean Albus you’re older than me!

DUMBLEDORE
You’re quite right my reactions aren’t…..
(Dumbledore holds up his blackened hand and we get a good look at the damage)
What they used to be but on the other hand…

He turns his hand a bit and now we can see a RING with a heavy black STONE that had been cracked down the middle. Slughorn eyes widen at the sight of the ring and Harry stares at it. Suddenly Dumbledore stands up and proceeds to walk out of the room.

SLUGHORN
Are you leaving?

DUMBLEDORE
No, I was wondering whether I might use your bathroom.

SLUGHORN
Oh…second on the left down the hall.

Dumbledore nods and walks quickly out of the room. Slughorn and Harry both sit uncomfortably in silence in the room for a second before Slughorn clears his voice.

SLUGHORN
Don’t think I don’t know why he’s brought you. You look very like your father, except for your eyes. You’ve got….

HARRY
My mother’s eyes, yeah.

SLUGHORN
Yes well your mother, Lily Evans, was one of the brightest I ever taught. I used to tell her she ought to have been in my House.

HARRY
Which was your house?

SLUGHORN
I was Head of Slytherin. Oh now don’t go holding that against me! You’ll be in Gryffindor like her, I suppose? Your mother was Muggle-born, of course. Couldn’t believe it when I found out. Thought she must have been pure-blood, she was so good.

HARRY
One of my best friends is Muggle-born and she’s the best in our year.

SLUGHORN
Yes well I’m sorry I won’t be able to meet her. Taking up a post at Hogwarts right now would be tantamount to declaring my public allegiance to the Order of the Phoenix….

HARRY
You don’t have to join the Order to teach at Hogwarts. Most of the teachers there aren’t. I reckon the staff are safer than most people while Dumbledore’s headmaster, he’s supposed to be the only one Voldemort ever feared, isn’t he?

Slughorn stares at Harry for a moment clearly thinking about what he just said.

SLUGHORN
It is true that He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Names has never sought a fight with Dumbleodre…I may very well be safer closer to Albus…

Dumbledore Enters

SLUGHORN
Oh, there you are, Albus! You’ve been gone a very long time. Upset stomach?

DUMBLEDORE
No, I was merely reading the Muggle magazines. I do love knitting patterns. Well, Harry, we have trespassed upon Horace’s hospitality quite long enough; I think it is time for us to leave.

SLUGHORN
You’re leaving?

Harry jumps up quickly and stands besides Dumbledore

DUMBLDORE
Yes, I think I know a lost cause when I see one. I’m sorry you don’t want the job Horace. Hogwarts would have been glad to see you back again. Our greatly increased security notwithstanding, you will always be welcome to visit, should you wish too! Good bye!

He smiles and proceeds to walk out of the house and Harry follows.


EXT-STONE HOUSE-NIGHT-MOMENTS LATER

Dumbledore and Harry walk outside the house and exit the gate in front of the house. Suddenly we hear Slughorns voice yelling from inside of the house

SLUGHORN
(Off-screen)
All right, all right, I’ll do it! I’ll be wanting a pay rise for this, Dumbledore!

The door of the house SLAMS shut and Dumbledore smiles and continues to walk away from the house as Harry follows.

DUMBLEDORE
Well done, Harry

HARRY
What did I do?

DUMBLEDORE
You showed Horace exactly how much he stands to gain by returning to Hogwarts. Now if you will grasp my arms, let us get you to The Burrow. I’m sure Mrs. Weasley is worried sick.

Harry grabs onto Dumbledore’s are and SWOOSH they disappear

IenjoyAcidPops March 9th, 2008 3:57 am

Re: Fan Scripts: Script your own version of Harry Potter
 
Phrozenone, I'm so sorry I didn't look at your third-act HBP stuff sooner, but wow, very nicely done! :tu: I mean, there are things I would/will do differently in mine, of course, and some stage directions and dialogue that needs touching up, but you've done a really good job (on the whole as well). I look forward to the next draft. I'm probably way outmatched here. :D I don't have the time to pick at everything right now, but I'll go through your Spinner's End later tonight, or tomorrow morning; I just wanted to give a complimentary overview now.

:clap:


(Real lives are overrated, by the way. :lol:)

IenjoyAcidPops March 10th, 2008 6:12 am

Re: Fan Scripts: Script your own version of Harry Potter
 
Okay, Phrozenone, I will try not to think of what version of what is better when reading our HBP drafts. :lol: You're really off to a great start, and I look forward to more. It's good to read your Spinner's End and Horace Slughorn, not only because the previous draft didn't have them, but also because I see that we both took the same crucial points of the scenes without doing the same thing. It seems MasterOfDeath, lcbaseball22, and I may be replacing ArryGrotter for the moment, so I'll just point out a few details now:

Quote:

Originally Posted by Phrozenone (Post 4950110)
The camera pans up over the house and the title ‘HARRY POTTER AND THE HALF BLOOD PRINCE’ slowly comes towards the screen with the bright moon in the background.

Oh, that's a better way; what I was picturing was just a possibly-too-abrupt entrance of the title, dissolving into the streetlight on Privet Drive.

Quote:

Someone riding a bike passes by and gives an odd look at them and Dumbledore simply smiles and waves at them.
:lol: I like that. It's a nice tiny muggle world-magical world moment that also functions as a nice Dumbledore touch and a good way to show us his mangled hand. Simple and elegant.

Quote:

DUMBLEDORE
Yet sadly, accidental rudeness occurs alarmingly often old friend.
:clap: I love this line, and I'm so glad you fit it in here if you couldn't do Will and Won't. :D


Quote:

SLUGHORN
(Off-screen)
All right, all right, I’ll do it! I’ll be wanting a pay raise for this, Dumbledore!
Tiny thing: change raise to rise. That's what JKR wrote, and I believe it's somewhat of a Britishism to say rise instead of raise.

So, yeah, this is a fine start. :tu:

Phrozenone March 10th, 2008 10:27 am

Re: Fan Scripts: Script your own version of Harry Potter
 
Thanks IenjoyAcidPops and what u said is so true. Every single one of us can take this one story and make each script entirely different. That's what I love about it. Thanks for your input :)

Now this next section was hard from me. I actually got writers black (Is that possible :lol:) but I'm happy with the outcome so let me know what you think.


Quote:

EXT. THE BURROW- DAWN

The scene cuts to a wide shot of THE BURROW and SWOOSH Harry and Dumbledore appear in the middle of the yard. The sky is a light orange as it is now the crack of dawn.

DUMBLEDORE
Well here we are Harry. Now before you proceed inside I’d like to have a word with you.

Dumbledore faces Harry and looks down upon him.

DUMBLEDORE
I am pleased and a little proud at how well you seem to be coping after everything that happened at the Ministry. It was cruel that you and Sirius had such a short time together. Naturally, the loss is devastating….

HARRY
While I was at the Dursleys’ I realized I can’t shut myself away or crack up; Sirius wouldn’t have wanted that would he? People are dying; it could be me next, couldn’t it? And if it is, I’ll make sure I take as many Death Eaters with me as I can and Voldemort too if I can manage it.

DUMBLEDORE
Spoken both like your mother and father’ son and Sirius’s true godson! Also it is my wish that you take private lessons with me this year.

HARRY
Private…! With you? Really?

DUMBLEDORE
Yes, I think it is time that I took a great hand in your education.

HARRY
What will you be teaching me, sir?

DUMBLEDORE
(airily)
Oh, a little of this, a little of that. Now lets get you inside, lets not deprive Molly any longer of the chance to deplore how thin you are.

INT. THE BURROW-FRED AND GEORGE’S BEDROOM-AFTERNOON

They begin to walk towards the house as the scene fades to a shot of Harry sleeping. Then BAM the door flies open and Harry sits up quickly in the bed. SWISH the curtains in the room fly open and Harry reaches for his glasses. Standing by the window was RON WEASLEY and walking into the room is HERMIONE GRANGER

RON
We didn’t know you were here already!

HERMIONE
Ron why did you wake him up, I’m sure he’s very tired!

HARRY
No…I was fine Hermione thanks. Alright Ron?

RON
Fine…when did you get here? You were out with Dumbledore? What happened? What did you do?

HERMIONE
Ron let him collect his thoughts first!

HARRY
It wasn’t that exciting. He just wanted me to help him persuade this old teacher to come out of retirement. Did I miss breakfast?

HERMIONE
Yes…it’s noon now. Mrs. Weasley is sending the food up.

HARRY
She didn’t have too….

GINNY WEASLEY walks into the room carrying a tray of food for Harry.

HARRY
Ginny….hey….

GINNY
Hiya Harry. Good sleep?

She places the tray across Harry’s lap.

HARRY
Fine…you didn’t have to bring this up; I’ll just join you all downstairs.

GINNY
Yes well YOU’LL have to tell mum that, she kept insisting that you were exhausted and she reckons you look underfed.

HARRY
Great….

GINNY
Well I’ll take this back downstairs

She grabs the tray and exits and Hermione follows.

RON
Hurry up and get dressed, I’m starving!

Ron exits and Harry smiles as the scene fades to MRS. WEASLEY, Ginny, and Hermione setting the tables in the kitchen. Harry and Ron both run downstairs and Mrs. Weasley runs up to hug Harry.

INT. THE BURROW-KITCHEN-MOMENTS LATER

MRS. WEASLEY
Good morning Harry dear, are you sure you’re well rested? You can sleep the rest of the day if you like...

HARRY
I’m fine Mrs. Weasley really…..

RON
(Sitting down at the table.)
Has dad made it home yet?

MRS. WEASLEY
No, he’s a tiny bit late

She takes a look up at the family clock where all faces are pointing towards “Mortal Peril” now.
RON
It’s been like that for a while, ever since You-Know-Who’s came back into the open.

GINNY
Yes well SOMEONE can help set the table instead of sitting around just eating all the time.

RON
Hey! I was helping Harry out….

GINNY
Yeah I’m sure he needs your help getting dressed Ron.

RON
It’s a tough job….

HARRY
Where are Fred and George?

RON
They’re raking in the Galleons! They have a new shop in Diagon Alley, we should be going there later…

MRS. WEASLEY
I must say I didn’t approve of it at first, but they do seem to have a flair for business. Oh!
(Mr. Weasley’s hand on the clock moves from ‘Mortal Peril’ to traveling)
Your fathers on his way kids!

Mrs. Weasley waves her hand and the bread she was cutting flies on all the plates on the table. Hermione takes a seat by Ron and Ginny takes a seat by Harry. Hermione grabs the Daily Prophet and begins to read.

RON
So anyone we know dead?

MRS. WEASLEY
RONALD WEASLEY!!!!

RON
What!?!

HERMIONE
(sigh)
Honestly Ron. There have been another couple of dementor attacks and a few more disappearances.

GINNY
There’ve been a lot of disappearances…..

RON
Yeah, did you hear? Even Ollivander the wandmaker has gone missing…

There is a knock on the door and everyone looks at it in silence.

MRS. WEASLEY
Arthur, is that you?

MR. WEASLEY
(From outside the door)
Yes, but I would say that even if I were a Death Eater. Ask the question!

MRS. WEASLEY
Oh, honestly Arthur this isn’t necessary…

MR. WEASLEY
The question dear!

MRS. WEASLEY
Fine…what is your dearest ambition?

MR. WEASLEY
To find out how airplanes stay up and now Molly, what do you like me to call you when we’re alone together?

Mrs. Weasley looks over her shoulders and see the kids watching her.

MRS. WEASLEY
(Nervous Chuckle)
Mollywobbles.

MR. WEASLEY
Correct, now you can let me in.

The door opens and MR. WEASLEY walks in and kisses his wife and sits down his briefcase.

MR. WEASLEY
Harry, I didn’t know you were here already. Everything alright?

HARRY
Yes sir

MR. WEASLEY
Well I ran into a few owls on the way and I have a nice little treat for you lot.
(He pulls out of his pocket a stack of mail.)
O.W.L. results are in!

HERMIONE
(She jumps up in excitement)
Are they here already! Feels like I’ve been waiting ages!

Hermione, Ron, and Harry all take there letters from Mr. Weasley and proceeds to open them on the spot.

HARRY
I only failed Divination and History of Magic, and who cares about them?

RON
(Taking a look at Harry’s)
I knew you’d be top at Defense Against the Dark Arts. We’ve done all right, haven’t we? We’re N.E.W.T. students now!

MRS WEASLEY
Well done!

HARRY
And look at this…we don’t have to take Potions anymore. No more Snape…this day is great already!

GINNY
Hermione? How did you do?

HERMIONE
Oh, I….not bad.

RON
Yeah, like you had anything to worry about in the first place.

Hermione shoots Ron a stern look and then notices something hanging out of Harry’s envelope.

HERMIONE
Well look at this.
(She takes it out and stares at it.)
Seems as if Harry is Quidditch captain this year!

RON
Wow! Congrats Harry! …

HARRY
Thanks…

RON
I’ve always wanted to try out for the team…..

GINNY
Awwww now you have to do is break it to Ron that he doesn’t have a chance on the team Harry.…

RON
Funny…

MRS. WEASLEY
Don’t forget that we are traveling to Diagon Alley later…

MR. WEASLEY
Don’t expect it to be the same Harry, its nearly completely empty now. The scare of You-Know-Who’s return has changed a lot of things. Now can I have a few more sausages dear..?

The camera zooms in on Harry looking at everyone eat and give a slight smile as he enjoys the company of his FAMILY. The scene slowly fades to a shot of a BRICK WALL. Slowly the brick wall starts to peel back and the camera pans back to show Harry, Ron, Hermione, Mr and Mrs. Weasley, and Ginny standing in front of it.

EXT. DIAGON ALLEY-LATER THAT DAY

They slowly walk through the opening and the camera pans up to show a mostly empty DIAGON ALLEY. We see MINISTRY OF MAGIC posters all around and black and white photos of Bellatrix Lestrange sneering on them. A lot of the familiar shops were boarded up and there is a dark wizard calling out to them trying to sell something but they hush past. The camera pans down to Harry as he looks into the window of OLLIVANDER’S deserted wand shop. Ron puts his hand on Harry’s shoulder

RON
Come on mate, we’re going to go to Madam Malkin’s and pick up some new robes while Mom, Dad, and Ginny get the books.

Harry nods and follows Ron as the scene fades to:

INT. MADAM MALKIN- SAME DAY

Harry, Ron, and Hermione walk into the shop and pause when they see Draco standing there in a mirror with MADAM MALKIN knelt down threading Draco’s robs.

DRACO
I’m not a child, in case you haven’t noticed, Mother. I am perfectly capable of shopping alone!

She reaches up and brushes Draco’s left arm and he jumps back as if he’s in pain.

DRACO
And watch where you’re sticking that pin, will you!

He looks in the mirror again and notices the trio standing in the doorway and smirks.

DRACO
If you’re wondering what the smell is, Mother, a Mudblood just walked in.

MADAM MALKIN
I don’t think there’s any need for language like that!

She looks back and sees Harry and Ron both have their wands drawn

MADAM MALKIN
And I don’t want wands drawn in my shop either!

HERMIONE
(Grabs both there arms)
No, don’t, it’s not worth it.

Narcissa Malfoy walks from around the corner slowly with a look of fury in her eyes.

NARCISSA
Put those away. If you attack my son I shall ensure that it is the last thing you ever do.

HARRY
Really? Going to get a few Death Eater pals to do us in, are you?

NARCISSA
I see that being Dumbledore’s favorite has given you a false sense of security, Harry Potter. But Dumbledore won’t always be there to protect you.

HARRY
(He looks around the shop)
That’s funny…look at that…he’s not here now! So why not have a go? They might be able to find you a double cell in Azkaban with your loser of a husband!

DRACO
(He turns around suddenly)
Don’t you dare talk to my mother like that, Potter!

NARCISSA
It’s alright Draco. I expect Potter will be reunited with Sirius before I am reunited with Lucius.

Harry points his wand towards her face and she just stares at him with intense hatred in her eyes.

DRACO
Mother…I don’t think I want these robes anymore

NARCISSA
You’re right, Draco. Now I know the kind of scum that shops here…we’ll do better at Twilfitt and Tatting’s.

MADAM MALIKIN
Well, really!

Narcissa grabs Draco by the arm as he throws the robes in Madam Malkins face and they exit. Hermione, Ron, and Harry all look at each other as the scene cuts to the Weasleys, Hermione, and Harry walking down the streets of Diagon Ally.
The camera goes past them to a shop which, compared to the one’s around it, was light and lively. In the window of the shop was a large sign that read “Why Are You Worrying About You-Know-Who? You Should Be Worrying About U-No-Poo- The Constipation Sensation That’s Gripping The Nation!” The camera pans back to them standing in front of the window as Mrs. Weasley grabs her chest.

MRS. WEASLEY
They’ll be murdered in their sleep!

INT. WEASLEY WIZARD WHEEZES-DAY-MOMENTS LATER

They all walk into the shop and we see an assortment of gadgets and boxes. There are boxes labeled Skiving Snackboxes and Nosebleed Nougat. There are boxes of wands, quills which came in Self Inking and Smart Answer varieties. The camera then pans to the front of the store where FRED WEASLEY and GEORGE WEASLEY are standing

FRED
Welcome…

FRED AND GEORGE
To Weasley’s Wizard Wheezes!!

They both walk up and hug their mom and dad. Fred punches Ron on the arm as he walks past him.
HARRY
Nice place guys.

GINNY
(She looks at love potions)
Do these things work?

GEORGE
Certainly they work, for up to twenty-four hours at a time depending on the weight of the boy in question, and the attractiveness of the girl. But we’re not selling them to our sister, not when she’s already got about five boys on the go from what we’ve heard…

GINNY
(Irritably)
Whatever you’ve heard from Ron is a big fat lie.

FRED
Are you or are you not currently going out with a boy called Dean Thomas?

HARRY
You’re dating Dean?

GINNY
Yes I am, what are those?

GEORGE
Pygmy Puffs, Miniature puffskeins, we can’t breed them fast enough.

GINNY
They’re really cute!

FRED
They’re fairly cuddly, yes. But you’re moving through boyfriends a bit fast, aren’t you?

GINNY
It’s none of your business. And I’ll thank you
(She turns to look at Ron who just turned around the corner)
Not to tell tales about me to these two!

RON
WHAT!

Ron is carrying a few items in his hand from around the shop.

FRED
That’s three Galleons, nine Sickles, and a Knut. Cough up.

RON
I’m your brother!

GEORGE
And that’s our stuff you’re nicking. Three Galleons, nine Sickles. I’ll knock off the Knut.

RON
But I haven’t got that much money!

FRED
Well you’d better put it back then, and mind you put it on the right shelves.

Ron frowns and walks away angrily and Harry laughs. He turns around and looks out of the window and sees Draco Malfoy hurrying up the street alone. He looks over his shoulders and hurry’s out of view. Harry leans over to Hermione who is holding one of the Pygmy Puffs.

HARRY
Wonder where his mommy is?

Harry looks over his shoulder and spots Mr. and Mrs. Weasley talking to George and Fred still harassing Ginny.

HARRY
Hermione get Ron and meet me out back. I have my invisibility cloak with me….I think we should see what he’s up too…

EXT. KNOCKTURN ALLEY-MINUTES LATER

The scene cuts to Harry, Ron, and Hermione walking down the street in Harry’s invisibility cloak. We see Draco take a turn down Knockturn Alley and the trio follows. They pause as Draco walks in Borgin and Burkes. They slowly follow him into the store as he is greeted by BORGIN.

INT. BORGIN AND BURKES-MOMENTS LATER

BORGIN
I’m glad that you finally made it here Mr. Malfoy

DRACO
Yeah well it took some time for me to get away from my mother. So where is it?

BORGIN
Right this way…..

Borgin leads Draco to the back of the store and approaches a VANISHING CABINET. Harry, Ron, and Hermione slowly follow them underneath the cloak. Draco slowly opens up the cabinet and looks inside it.

DRACO
Well you know why I’m here….

BORGIN
Indeed

DRACO
Do you know how to fix it?

BORGIN
Possibly, I’ll need to see it, though. Why don’t you bring it into the shop?

MALFOY
I can’t. It’s got to stay put. I just need you to tell me how to do it.

BORGIN
Well without seeing it, I must say it will be a very difficult job, perhaps impossible. I couldn’t guarantee anything.

DRACO
No?

Draco turns to the side and out of view of the trio

DRACO
(Offscreen)
Perhaps this will make you more confident.

The trio stands still and cast side looks at each other. Draco then walks back out in front of the cabinet and stares at it.

DRACO
Tell anyone and there will be retribution. You know Fenrir Greyback? He’s a family friend. He’ll be dropping in from time to time to make sure you’re giving the problem your full attention

BORGIN
There will be no need for…

DRACO
I’ll decide that. Not a word to anyone, Borgin, and that includes my mother, understand? Keep this Vanishing Cabinet safe….

BORGIN
Naturally, naturally

He bows and barely brushes into the trio under the cloak as he walks out of the store. Borgin gives an angry look and closes the Vanishing Cabinet. Harry, Ron, and Hermione then start to exit but they accidently bump into one of the shelves. They pause in horror as Borgin walks in their general direction. He looks around and proceeds to straighten the item on the shelf they bumped into. Harry notices that it’s a bust of a statue with a OPAL NECKLACE around it’s neck. Borgin then goes to the back and the trio slowly walk out of the store. The camara pans back to show a wide shot of Borgin and Botts and slowly fades to Harry, Ron, and Hermione sitting in Ron’s bedroom

INT. THE BURROW-LATER THAT NIGHT

HARRY
I wonder what he wanted with that Vanishing Cabinet.

RON
I don’t know, it sounds like he wanted something fixed.

HARRY
Yeah but the question is what? He needs something fixed and that cabinet is involved in someway.

HERMIONE
It could be anything Harry

HARRY
I know it’s just, Malfoy’s fathers in Azkaban. Don’t you think he’d like revenge?

RON
Revenge? What can he do about it?

HARRY
I don’t know but he’s up to something and I think we should take it seriously. His fathers a Death Eater and….

His stops walking as his eyes widen and Hermione looks at him with a worried look

HERMIONE
Harry? What’s wrong?

HARRY
He’s a Death Eater. He’s replaced his father as a Death Eater!

RON
(Laughing)
Malfoy? A Death Eater? Harry come on now!

HARRY
The Dark Mark. I guarantee that’s what he showed Borgin that we couldn’t see. Borgin was afraid after Draco showed him it on his arm. Do you remember in Madam Malkins? He jumped when she touched his arm….he must’ve just got branded!

RON
Harry I doubt You-Know-Who would let him join….

HERMIONE
Yes and besides we should all get to bed…we’re off to school tomorrow. Goodnight.

Hermione gets up and walks out of the room and Ron gets under his covers while Harry still sits on his bed.

RON
Don’t worry yourself to much about it right now mate…get some sleep.

HARRY
Yeah I guess you’re right.

Harry lays down and takes off his glasses. He turns off the light and the camera focuses on his as the only light shining on him through the window is the moonlight. The camera slowly fades to the next day and we see Ginny, Hermione, Ron, Harry, Mr. Weasley, and Mrs. Weasley all in the kitchen getting ready to head to PLATFORM 9 ¾.

INT. THE BURROW-KITCHEN-NEXT DAY

MRS. WEASLEY
Come on everyone it’s time to go.

They all begin to exit out of the house and Harry pauses.

HARRY
Um…Mr. Weasley…could I have a quick word?

MR. WEASLEY
Sure Harry.

They both walk out of the kitchen and into the living room.

INT. THE BURROW-LIVING ROOM-MOMENTS LATER

MR. WEASLEY
Are you going to tell me where you, Ron, and Hermione disappeared yesterday?

HARRY
How did you….

MR. WEASLEY
Harry, please. You’re talking to the man who raised Fred and George.

HARRY
Right…well….we followed Draco Malfoy. We used my Invisibility Cloak.

MR. WEASLEY
Did you have any particular reason for doing so, or was it a mere whim?

HARRY
I thought Malfoy was up to something. He’d given his mother the slip and I wanted to know why. He went into Borgin and Burkes and was asking Borgin to help him fix something. It had something to do with this old Vanishing Cabinet there.

MR. WEASLEY
Vanishing Cabinet you say?

HARRY
Yes well there’s something else. I think he’s been branded with the Dark Mark. I think he’s replaced his father. When Madam Malkin tried to touch his left arm he jumped about a mile and he showed Borgin something that made him really nervous.

Mr. Weasley stares at Harry for a moment deep in thought

MR. WEASLEY
Harry I doubt You-Know-Who would allow a sixteen year old….

HARRY
Does anyone really know what Vold…I mean You-Know-Who would or wouldn’t do? Isn’t it worth investigating sir? If Malfoy is trying to fix something and needs to threaten Borgin to get it done it could be something Dark or dangerous.

MR. WEASLEY
We already raided Lucius Malfoy’s house when he was arrested Harry. We took away everything that might have been dangerous.

HARRY
I think you missed something.

MR. WEASLEY
Well maybe…

MRS. WEASLEY
(Offscreen)
Come on you too or we’re going to be late!!!

MR. WEASLEY
I think we should go….

Harry nods and we hear the sound of a train

EXT. HOGWARTS EXPRESS-NOON

The scene cuts to a shot of the Hogwarts Express leaving the station. The camera shows Mr. and Mrs. Weasley together waving at the train.

INT. HOGWARTS EXPRESS- NOON

The camera then pans through the window to show Harry, Ron, Hermione, and Ginny walking down the aisle looking for a compartment. He notices Malfoy sitting in a compartment with ZABINI, PANSY PARKINSON, CRABBE, and GOYLE as they walk by.

HARRY
So will you be sitting with us Ginny?

GINNY
I can’t, Harry. I said I’d meet Dean. See you later though.

She waves back to Hermione and Ron and walks off and Harry stares at her as she walks away as if he’s slightly annoyed that she won’t be with them. A compartment door opens and NEVILLE LONGBOTTOM sticks his head out.

NEVILLE
Hi Harry, Ron, and Hermione! You can join us in here if you’d like, we have room!

Harry, Ron, and Hermione enter the compartment with Neville and see’s LUNA LOVEGOOD sitting there smiling up at them.

LUNA
Hello!

HARRY
Luna, hi, how are you?

LUNA
Very well thank you.

After they put up their bags they all have a seat. From outside the window they see a few people staring into the compartment curiously.

RON
What’s their problem?

NEVILLE
They’re staring at us because we’re with Harry. You know since he’s the chosen one and all….

LUNA
Are we still doing D.A. meetings this year, Harry?

HARRY
No point Luna, we’ve gotten rid of Umbridge.

NEVILLE
I liked the D.A. I learned loads from you!

LUNA
I enjoyed the meetings too. It was like having friends.

Harry, Ron, and Hermione all glance at each other uncomfortably as she says this. All of a sudden there is a knock on the door and it slides open. A group of girls open the compartment giggling and ROMILDA VANE steps inside towards Harry

ROMILDA
Hey Harry, I’m Romilda Vane. Why don’t you join us in our compartment? You don’t have to sit with them!

HARRY
Oh I don’t do I? Well they’re friends of mine!

ROMILDA
Why?
(She and her friends laugh)

NEVILLE
It’s ok Harry, you can go…

HARRY
No, these are my friends and I think you should go

ROMILDA
(Surprised)
Are you serious?
(Dissapointently)
Well…Oh, Oh Ok then

She rushed out and closes the door

LUNA
People expect you to have cooler friends than us.

RON
Than you two maybe

Hermione hits Ron in his arm and gives him a stern look

RON
What?

HARRY
You are cool, none of them were at the Minsitry. They didn’t fight with me.

Luna and Neville both smile and Hermione takes out a Daily Prophet and begins to read as Ron bites into some candy. Harry and he looks out of the window with a look of deep thought on his face.

NEVILLE
Are you alright Harry?

HARRY
Yeah, I’m fine…

LUNA
I don’t think so…maybe a Wrackspurt got you?

HARRY
A What?

LUNA
Wrackspurt…they’re invisible. They float in through your ears and make your brain go fuzzy. I thought I felt one zooming around in here.

Luna starts flapping her hands around in mid air. Ron, Neville and Harry look at each other as if they’re trying to hold back a laugh and Hermione raises the Prophet higher so no one can see her reaction. The compartment door opens and a young third year is standing there with an envelope.

STUDENT
I’m supposed to deliver these to Neville Longbottom and Harry Potter.

The students hands it to them and exits.

NEVILLE
What is it?

HARRY
I dunno
(He opens up the letter and begins to read.)
Harry, I would be delighted if you would join me for a bite of lunch in compartment C. Sincerely, Professor H. E. F. Slughorn.

NEVILLE
Who’s Professor Slughorn?

HARRY
New teacher. Well, I suppose we’ll have to go, won’t we?

INT. HOGWARTS EXPRESS-SLUGHORNS COMPARTMENT-MOMENTS LATER

The scene cuts to Harry and Neville walking down the aisle towards Slughorns Compartment.

NEVILLE
I wonder what he wants me for?

HARRY
Guess we’re going to find out

He reaches out and opens the compartment door and sitting there is Zabini, Ginny, CORMAC McLAGGEN and three other students. Slughorn jumps up to greet Harry.

SLUGHORN
Harry, m’boy! Good to see you, good to see you! You must be Mr. Longbottom! Come in come in and have a seat we’re just chatting.

Harry quickly takes a seat next to Ginny and Neville if forced to sit next to Slughorn.

SLUGHORN
Do you know everyone Harry? Blaise Zabini here is in your year of course. This is Cormac McLaggen. This charming young lady tells me she knows you!

Harry and Ginny look at each other and smile

SLUGHORN
So Cormac I happen to know your Uncle Tiberius.

CORMAC
Do you sir?

SLUGHORN
Oh yes yes, splendid wizard he is. I’m sure no doubt you possess many of his varied talents yourself eh?
(Chuckles)
Yes you lot in this room are some of the best. Mr. Longbottoms here parents are well known Aurors. They’re in St. Mungo’s at the moment right son?

NEVILLE
Yes sir….

SLUGHORN
Well we’ll see if some of their flair has past on to you soon enough! Zabini your mother is indeed a rare beauty.

ZABINI
Thank you sir….

SLUGHORN
And Harry Potter! Where to begin with you? “The Chosen One” they’re calling you now! Of course there have been rumors for years, I remember when…well after that terrible night…Lily...James…and you survived and the word was that you must have powers beyond the ordinary…

Zabini gives a little cough and the other Slytherians in the room laugh.

GINNY
Yeah, Zabini, because you’re soooo talented…at posing…

SLUGHORN
Oh dear! You want to careful, Blaise! Saw this young lady perform the most marvelous Bat Bogy Hex as I was passing her carriage! I wouldn’t cross her.
(Chuckles)
Now I hear there was quite a disturbance at the Ministry last year and you were in the thick of it all.

Harry just nods his head slightly

SLUGHORN
So modest, no wonder Dumbledore is so fond of you. Now about this fabled prophecy…

NEVILLE
We never heard the prophecy. It was broken before anyone could hear it.

GINNY
It’s true. I’m sure all this ‘Chosen One’ rubbish is the Prophet making things up as usual.

SLUGHORN
You were both there too? Excellent!

As Slughorn continues to talk Harry catches eyes with Zabini who gives him a frown. The scene then slowly fades

INT-HOGWARTS EXPRESS-HALLWAY-NIGHT

To Neville, Ginny, and Harry leaving Slughorn’s compartment. They turn and walk down the aisles together

NEVILLE
I’m glad that’s over, strange man isn’t he?

HARRY
Yeah, he is a bit.

GINNY
I wonder what class he's teaching

HARRY
Defense Against the Dark Arts I'm sure. How come you ended up in there Ginny?

GINNY
Oh he saw me hex Zacharias Smith, he thought it was really good and invited me to lunch.

HARRY
Well better reason for inviting someone than because their mother’s famous or because their uncle….

He pauses as he notices Zabini is about to re-enter his compartment. Harry looks around to see if anyone else is looking and pulls out his Invisibility Cloak.

HARRY
I’ll see you two later

NEVILLE
But what’re you…

Harry throws the cloak over himself and runs up behinds Zabini who opens the compartment and

INT. HOGWARTS EXPRESS- SLYTHERIAN COMPARTMENT-NOON

Harry slides in before he closes it. Inside the room is Zabini, Goyle, Crabbe, Malfoy, and Pansy Parkinson. Before Zabini can sit down Harry jumps on his seat and jumps up into the luggage compartment and his foot comes from under the cloack for a quick second and he lies down.

ZABINI
What’s going on?

MALFOY
What did Slughorn want?

ZABINI
Just trying to make up to well connected people, not that he managed to find many. He invited Longbottom, Potter, and that Weasley girl!

MALFOY
He invited Longbottom? What’s Longbottom got to interest Slughorn? And Potter, obviously he wanted a look at ‘the Chosen One’ but that Weasley girl! What’s so special about her!

PANSY
A lot of boys like her, even you think she’s good looking don’t you Blaise?

ZABINI
I wouldn’t touch a filthy blood traitor like her whatever she looked like.

MALFOY
Pity, father always said Slughorn was a good wizard in his day, but it seems he’s gone a bit senile. Who cares whose he’s interested in anyways; he’s just a stupid teacher. I mean I might not even be at Hogwarts next year….

ZABINI
Really?

DRACO
Well you never know, I might have moved on to bigger and better things.

PANSY
(Gasp)
Do you mean…him?

DRACO
Mother wants me to complete my education, but personally, I don’t see it as that important these days. When the Dark Lord takes over, is he going to care how many O.W.L.s or N.E.W.T.s anyone’s got?

ZABINI
And you think you’ll be able to do something for him? Sixteen years old and not even fully qualified yet?

DRACO
I’ve just said, haven’t I? Maybe the job he wants me to do isn’t something that you need to be qualified for.

Crabbe and Goyle look at each other and smile.

DRACO
I can see Hogwarts, we’d better get our robes on.

The scene cuts to show the train slowing down to stop. Everyone is leaving the compartment one by one. Draco then pauses and turns back around. He closes the door and lets down the blinds. He then points his wand to where Harry is hidden

DRACO
Petrificus Totalus!

Harry eyes widen as he is frozen and falls out of the compartment on the floor without his cloak. Draco is looking down on him smiling.

DRACO
I thought so. I saw something white flash through the air after Zabini came back. You didn’t hear anything I care about, Potter. But while I’ve got you here…

Draco stomps on Harrys face. Blood is streaming from Harrys nose.

DRACO
That’s from my father. Now lets see….

He grabs the invisibility cloak and throws it over Harry.

DRACO
I don’t reckon they’ll find you till the trains back in London. See you around Potter…or not.

Draco walks out of the compartment and slams the door and we see Harry trapped underneath the invisibility cloak unable to move. The train starts to move under him and we see and hand reached down and pulled the cloak off of him, and the camera pans to TONKS standing there.

TONKS
Wotcher Harry.

She points her wand at him and a flash of red light hits Harry and he’s unfrozen.

TONKS
We’d better get out of here, quickly.

The scene cuts to…

EXT. TRAIN STATION- DUSK

Harry and Tonks walking from the train station and there is a shot of Hogwarts in the distance.

TONKS
Who did it?

HARRY
Draco Malfoy, thanks for….

TONKS
No problem, I can fix your nose if you stand still.
(She points her wand at his nose)
Episkey.

HARRY
Thanks.

TONKS
We can walk up to the school.

She waves her wand in the air and a silver four legged creature erupts from the wand and streaks off towards the castle.

TONKS
I’m sending word to the castle that I’ve got you.

HARRY
Was that a Patronus?

TONKS
(Gives a weak smile)
Yeah….

HARRY
How did you find me?

TONKS
I noticed you hadn’t left the train and I knew you had the cloak. I saw the blinds drawn on that compartment so I thought I’d check.

HARRY
But what are you doing here, anyway?

TONKS
I’m stationed at Hogsmeade with Proudfoot, Savage, and Dawlish to give the school extra protection.

Harry looks over at Tonks and notices that her hair is dark brown and not the shade of purple that it was last year.

HARRY
Your hair….

TONK
Oh…yeah…haven’t been much of a “purple” mood lately I’m afraid.

She looks up at the FULL MOON that is out and sighs. She then looks over at Harry who has a concerned look on his face.

TONKS
Now Harry don’t go worrying about me, I’ll be fine. Look someone’s coming to fetch you.

They stop at the gate of the castle and then we hear a CLICK and the gate slowly opens and the person who walks out into the moonlight is Snape.

SNAPE
Well, well, well. Nice of you to turn up, Potter. Correct me if I’m wrong but isn’t it in the rules that all students report to the opening feast in their school robes?

HARRY
I couldn’t change, I didn’t have my….

SNAPE
There is no need to wait, Nymphadora, Potter is quite….ah…safe in my hands.

TONKS
(Frowning)
I meant for Hagrid to get the message

SNAPE
Yes well Hagrid was late for the start-of-term freast, just like Potter here, so I took it instead. Incidentally I was interested to see your new Patronus. Have fun walking in the…moonlight…won’t you?

She casts an angry look at Snape who takes Harry by the arm and pulls him into the gates before shutting the gate in her face.

SNAPE
I think you were better off with the old one, the new one looks weak.

HARRY
Good night Tonks, thanks for everything!

TONKS
See ya Harry.

She glares at Snape once more and proceeds to walk off into the distance. Snape turns around and walk towards to the castle

SNAPE
Fifty points from Gryffindor for lateness, I think. Another twenty for not being in your school robes at the opening feast.

Harry follows Snape clearly angry at him and the scene fades too

INT. THE GREAT HALL-NIGHT

…Harry walking into the Great Hall with the rest of the students. He sits down between Harry and Ron

HERMIONE
What happened?

HARRY
I’ll tell you later.

The camera pans to Dumbledore standing up and the hall goes silent.

DUMBLEDORE
To our new students, welcome, to our old students, welcome back! Before we begin our banquet, I would like to say a few words. And here they are: Nitwit! Blubber! Oddment! Tweak! Thank You.

There’s a laugh throughout the students as he turns to sit down and we hear MCGONAGALL clear her throat and throw a stern look at Dumbledore

DUMBLEDORE
Oh right
(He turns back around to the students.)
Another year full of magical education awaits you…

HERMIONE
What happened to his hand?

RON
Dunno, but he seems to be off his nutter.

HARRY
His hand was like that when I saw him over the summer. I thought he’d have cured it by now though….

HERMIONE
It looks as if it’s died. But there are some injuries you can’t cure…old curses…

DUMBLEDORE
We are pleased to welcome a new member of staff this year. Professor Slughorn is a former colleague of mine who has agreed to resume his old post of Potions master!

Everyone starts to look at each other and mouth ‘Potions’ in shock and Slughorn stands up and gives a slight wave at the students

RON
Potions?

DUMBLEDORE
Professor Snape, meanwhile, will be taking over the position of Defense Against the Dark Arts teacher.

HARRY
No.... No it can’t be.

The Slytherian table stands up to clap as Snape raises his hand in acknowledgement

HARRY
I thought Slughorn was going to teach defense…we’re not even taking Potions this year Ron!

RON
Well there’s one good thing, Snape’ll be gone by the end of the year.

HERMIONE
What do you mean?

RON
The jobs jinxed you know. No one’s lasted more than a year.

HARRY
Lets keep our fingers crossed for a death…

HERMIONE
Harry!

DUMBLEDORE
Now, as everybody in this Hall knows, Lord Voldemort and his followers are once again large and gaining in strength.

The entire hall goes silent.

DUMBLEDORE
I cannot emphasize strongly enough how dangerous the present situation is. I urge you all, to abide by any securtiy restrictions that your teacher might impose upon you. I trust you to conduct yourselves, always, with the utmost regard for your own and others safety.
EDIT: Also I added an instance where we actually see Snape's Dark Mark in Spinner's End. Thanks to MasterofDeath for suggesting we should SEE the Dark Mark so when Harry is accusing Draco of having one we'd atleast have some idea what it is. Thanks MoD :)

lcbaseball22 March 10th, 2008 2:25 pm

Re: Fan Scripts: Script your own version of Harry Potter
 
Excellent Phrozenone!

I love how you added Snape coming to fetch Harry this time, I knew there was something missing in your last one but I couldn't remember. In addition, an extra scene with Alan Rickman is never a bad thing.

Now, just a few constructive criticisms:

- I could be wrong, but I believe if Kloves keeps the WWW Joke shop scene the whole point of it would be to show the Dark Arts and Defense products such as the Peruvian Instant Darkness Powder, the Shield Attire, and the Decoy Detonators. At least that is what I would like to see if this scene is in. I do love how you kept the U-NO-POO sign though, it's just too good to cut. I laughed so hard when I read that in the book. :lol:

- Even though Auror ambitions haven't been mentioned in the movie, I found it somewhat strange that you had a line where Harry says, "And look at this…we don’t have to take Potions anymore. No more Snape…this day is great already!" just because in the book he was disappointed he wasn't going to be able to take NEWT potions since it was required if he was to be an Auror. Also, It would be nice to throw in a line that says Hermione got 11 Owls/all but one Outstanding to emphasize again "she is the best in their year" because she just responded "Oh, all right" and we don't see what she really got.

- I'm not so sure about the over-emphasis on the "Vanishing Cabinet" although I guess it's good for the idiots who don't read the books.

- I guess it's just too hard for me to not compare to the books but I find it odd that Harry was surprised and didn't know where Fred and George were considering he gave them the money to start their business!

Overall though, very very good. :tu: :tu: :tu:

By the way, for each of your versions, approx. how long would the film be?

Phrozenone March 10th, 2008 11:18 pm

Re: Fan Scripts: Script your own version of Harry Potter
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by lcbaseball22 (Post 4951761)
Excellent Phrozenone!

I love how you added Snape coming to fetch Harry this time, I knew there was something missing in your last one but I couldn't remember. In addition, an extra scene with Alan Rickman is never a bad thing.[/u][/i]

Thanks! You're exactly right the more Snape the better. I just always felt that scene wasn't needed because I had many other things to put in my other script. In this one however it works. We get a nice Lupin/Tonks hint and we get to see Snape is all he evil glory :lol:

Quote:

Now, just a few constructive criticisms:
Bring it!

Quote:

- I could be wrong, but I believe if Kloves keeps the WWW Joke shop scene the whole point of it would be to show the Dark Arts and Defense products such as the Peruvian Instant Darkness Powder, the Shield Attire, and the Decoy Detonators. At least that is what I would like to see if this scene is in. I do love how you kept the U-NO-POO sign though, it's just too good to cut. I laughed so hard when I read that in the book. :lol:
Ah yes I thought about that aswell actually. Trust me like I said this section was hardest because there's SO much that needs to be set up for later but there's that stupid "time" thing :grumble:. I really just wanted to establish that they have a business and I was going to show alot of their products being smuggled in at Hogwarts throughout the year. If what I'm thinking doesn't play out well then I will surely come back and add to this scene.

Quote:

- Even though Auror ambitions haven't been mentioned in the movie, I found it somewhat strange that you had a line where Harry says, "And look at this…we don’t have to take Potions anymore. No more Snape…this day is great already!" just because in the book he was disappointed he wasn't going to be able to take NEWT potions since it was required if he was to be an Auror. Also, It would be nice to throw in a line that says Hermione got 11 Owls/all but one Outstanding to emphasize again "she is the best in their year" because she just responded "Oh, all right" and we don't see what she really got.
Hehe I've already got something planned for that my friend :p Needless to say (since I'm going by the films now) Movie Harry doesn't know yet that he HAS to take potions...he'll find out in the next posted section you see :) Ah yes I forgot about Hermione. I remember having them say she got 11 Owls in one of my earlier drafts but it just didn't flow right but you have a point :)

Quote:

- I'm not so sure about the over-emphasis on the "Vanishing Cabinet" although I guess it's good for the idiots who don't read the books
Oh gosh...this part gave me a headache. Honestly I was almost done with the scene. It was almost like in my last script of this (Harry, Ron, and Hermione listening outside using the extendable ears) and then I was trying to think of a way to really set up a mystery you know? Now Harry knows a Vanishing Cabinet is involved but what is it that Draco's trying to fix that involves it? From how I'm thinking about where the story is heading I'm sure (or hoping) the audience 'get's it' before Harry does.

Plus it's the whole 'show don't tell thing' I realized when I posted the Astronomy Tower scene that Draco just mentioning 'Oh there are two Vanishing Cabinets' didn't really hit me like I wanted it too you know?

Quote:

- I guess it's just too hard for me to not compare to the books but I find it odd that Harry was surprised and didn't know where Fred and George were considering he gave them the money to start their business!
Ah yes but in the films I'm thinking that Fred and George made the money from selling things in GOF and OOTP. I think the films did a good enough job showing that they have a flair for business so it's not to unbelievable that they've opened their own shop. Movie only fans will see it that way, whereas us book fans know what REALLY happened :lol:

Quote:

Overall though, very very good. :tu::tu::tu:
Oohhhh two very's :D Thanks so much! After this post I'm gonna get to the next section since I have some ideas I want to play with.

Quote:

By the way, for each of your versions, approx. how long would the film be?
Each one has been different. At first I was trying the 2.5 hour mark and that is REALLY hard to do, but I think I can possibly make it this time around. The thing is I was keeping in unecessary things because I didn't know how they'd turn out. This one I know better (atleast I hope).

As I said before the last one was about 163 mins long (Since...technically...a page equals a minuete) So far it has taken me 34 minuets to get to Hogwarts :lol: We're hear now so let the fun begin :D

Phrozenone March 12th, 2008 3:15 am

Re: Fan Scripts: Script your own version of Harry Potter
 
Alright everyone I will now post the next part of version 4 of my HBP script. You will notice ALOT of changes in this one. I was trying to figure out what scene to follow up Dumbledore's Speech with and i remembered that they filmed a scene with McGonagall telling Harry about his classes so I put that in. I opened with Neville since he doesnt have much to do and I like this little moment between him and McGonagall. Also you will get to see the first memory and I really hope you all like what I did with it. If not...well I like it :p Anyways I'll shut up now and as always your comments and criticism is welcomed :)

Warning. This is a long one :lol:

Quote:

The scene cuts to a sweeping shot of HOGWARTS during the next day. The scene then cuts to Neville standing in front of PROFESSOR MCGONAGALL in her office. She is looking over a parchment.

INT. HOGWARTS-MCGONAGALL’S OFFICE-NEXT DAY

MCGONAGALL
I’m sorry, Longbottom, but your score simply isn’t good enough to continue to N.E.W.T. level for Transfiguration. I just don’t think you’d be able to cope with the coursework.

Neville lowers his head in shame and McGonagall looks down at him.

MCGONAGALL
Why do you want to continue with Transfiguration, anyway? I’ve never had the impression that you particularly liked it.

NEVILLE
Well my grandmother wants….

MCGONAGALL
It’s high time your grandmother learned to be proud of the grandson’s she got, rather than the one she thinks she ought to have….particularly after what happened at the Ministry.

She gives Neville a smile as he raises his head up in confidence. She hands him back the parchment.

MCGONAGALL
Tell they next student they may enter please.

Neville opens the door and Harry is standing there.

NEVILLE
You can go in Harry.

HARRY
Thanks Neville….

Harry walks in and hands McGonagall a piece of parchment.

MCGONAGALL
Now let’s see here Potter…Potter. I have a question for you. What exactly do you plan on pursuing after you leave Hogwarts?

HARRY
Well I’ve been thinking about it a lot and I think I really would like to be an Auror.

MCGONAGALL
Fine choice, Potter. Well your marks in Defense Against the Dark Arts, Charms, Herbology, and Transfiguration are all fine. I see you haven’t applied for Potions this term; you need that class if you want to pursue being an Auror Potter.

HARRY
Yes well I thought I had to get an ‘Outstanding’ on my O.W.L. to take Potions this year….

MCGONAGALL
You did...when Professor Snape was teaching the subject. Professor Slughorn, however, is perfectly happy to accept N.E.W.T. students with the score you have. Do you wish to proceed with Potions?

HARRY
Yes, but I didn’t buy the books or any ingredients or anything….

MCGONAGALL
I’m sure Professor Slughorn will be able to lend you some. Very well here is your schedule Potter. By the way twenty hopefuls have already put down their names for the Gryffindor Quidditch team. I shall pass you the list in do course.

HARRY
Thanks Professor.

MCGONAGALL
Tell the next student they my come in.

Harry nods and exits.

EXT. DEFENSE AGAINST THE DARK ARTS CLASSROOM-DAY

The scene cuts to the DEFENSE AGAISNT THE DARK ARTS CLASSROOM. There are already a few students are sitting around chatting when Harry, Ron, and Hermione enter.

MALFOY
Potter!

Harry turns to see Draco sitting in the back next to Crabbe and Goyle with a sly smile on his face.

MALFOY
Glad to see you made it alright. How’s your nose?

HARRY
Fine…how’s your left arm Malfoy?

Before Draco can respond we hear a voice from offscreen.

SNAPE
Quiet!

Everyone turns around and standing in the door of the classroom is Snape. Harry, Ron, and Hermione take that seats and everyone else proceeds to take out their books.

SNAPE
I have not asked you to take out your books, I wish to speak to you, and I want your fullest attention.

He begins to walk slowly towards the front of the class as he speaks.

SNAPE
I am surprised so many of you scraped an O.W.L in this subject; I shall be even more surprised if all of you manage to keep up with the N.E.W.T. work. The Dark Arts are many, varied, ever changing, and eternal. Your defenses must therefore be as flexible and inventive as the arts you seek to undo.

He pulls out his wand and SWOOSH the lights go dim and the screen in front of the class lights up with a slideshow of pictures.

SNAPE
These pictures give a fair representation of what happens to those who suffer, for instance…

He waves his hand and the screen in the front of the class shows a witch that is shrieking in agony

SNAPE
The Cruciatus Curse….

There is a quick shot of Neville as he waves his hand again and we see a wizard lying on the ground with a blank expression

SNAPE
Feel the Dementors Kiss

He waves his hand and there’s a bloody mass on the projector

SNAPE
Or provoke the aggression of the Inferius. Now who here can tell me what an Inferi is?

He looks around and only Hermione raises her hand. He looks over her and continues to talk…

SNAPE
Since there is no one…Inferi are corpses. Dead bodies that have been bewitched to a dark wizard biddings. Fire is one of the most effective tools in fighting against them. The Dark Lord has used Inferi in the past, which means you would be well advised to assume he might use them again. Now can someone tell me the advantage of using a nonverbal spell?

Hermione is the only one who raises her hand again. Snape looks around past her but know one else is raising their hand. He sighs and turns back to Hermione.

SNAPE
Very well.….Miss Granger?

HERMIONE
Your adversary has no warning about what kind of magic you’re about to perform, which gives you a split second advantage.

SNAPE
An answer copied almost word for word from The Standard Book of Spells, Grade Six.

We see a shot of Malfoy and his friends laugh.

SNAPE
But correct in essentials. Those who progress to using magic without shouting incantations gain an element of surprise in their spell casting. Not all wizards can do this, of course; it is a question of concentration and mind power which some…..lack

He casts a look over at Harry as he says this.

SNAPE
Now today we will practice on using non verbal spells. Potter…Weasley…to the front of the class and bring your wands.

Harry and Ron cast each other looks before walking up to the front of the class.

SNAPE
Wands at the ready.

Harry and Ron both face each other and put their wands in the ready position.

SNAPE
Now Weasley I want you to attempt to jinx Potter without speaking and Potter must attempt to repel the jinx in equal silence. Carry on.

Snape steps back as Ron points his wand at Harry. Ron’s face begins to strain as he tries to attempt a non verbal spell. There are a few giggles in the back of the class and even Snape looks slightly amused for the moment.

SNAPE
Pathetic, Weasley.

He holds up his wand and pushes Ron to the side.

SNAPE
Here…let me show you

Snape turns quickly and points his wand at Harry

HARRY
PROTEGO!

BOOM the shield reflect Snape’s spell throwing him back across the room. A lot of students jump up in shock. Snape jumps up angrily and walks quickly towards Harry who still has his wand pointed at him.

SNAPE
Do you remember me telling you we were practicing nonverbal spells, Potter?

HARRY
Yes.

SNAPE
Yes, sir.

HARRY
There’s no need to call me ‘sir,’ Professor

The room goes deadly silent and Hermione puts her hand over her mouth in shock. Ron on the other hand has a big grin on his face.

SNAPE
Detention, Saturday night…my office Potter. I do not take cheek from anyone…not even ‘the Chosen One’

The stare at each other for a moment.

SNAPE
Now everyone will team up in pairs and attempt to do what Potter and Weasley failed to do. Carry on…

Everyone in the class stands up and Snape looks at Harry once more before walking away. The camera shows a wideshot of the class as everyone gets into pairs.

INT. HOGWARTS-FIRST FLOOR CORRIDOR-AFTERNOON

The scene cuts to Harry, Ron, and Hermione walking down a hallway. There are a few students walking around holding hands and Ron frowns at one couple as they pass by.

RON
That was brilliant Harry!

HERMIONE
No it wasn’t Ron! Harry what made you say that to him?

HARRY
He tried to jinx me, in case you didn’t notice! What’s Dumbledore playing at, anyway, letting him teach Defense? Did you hear him talking about the Dark Arts? He loves them! All that unfixed, indestructable stuff…

HERMIONE
I thought he sounded a bit like you when you were telling us what it’s like to face Voldemort. You said it wasn’t just about memorizing a bunch of spells.

A group of girls pass by and LAVENDER BROWN waves at Ron with a smile on her face. He looks around and then mouths ‘Me?’ to her and she nods yes. He chuckles and waves back and her friend’s walk away giggling. Hermione roll her eyes as KATIE BELL runs up behind them with a letter in his hand.

KATIE
Harry! Hey, Harry!

She hands Harry the letter

KATIE
For you! Listen, congrats on making captain for the team. Tell me when you call trials!

HARRY
Don’t be stupid Katie; you don’t need to try out. I’ve watched you play for five years…

KATIE
You mustn’t start off like that, good teams have been ruined before because Captains just kept playing the old faces and letting in their friends. Gotta run though, see ya!

As Katie leaves Harry notices CHO CHANG walking down the hall with a few friends. A look of regret shows on Harry’s face.

HARRY
I’ll be back guys….

Harry runs up to Cho who looks surprised that he’s approaching her.

HARRY
Cho….can I have a word?

CHO
Oh…um…yeah sure Harry…

Her friends walk away and Harry takes a deep breathe before he speaks.

HARRY
Listen, I’m sorry about what happened last year. I found out that Umbridge used Veritaserum on you and that’s why you revealed everything about Dumbledore’s Army. I’m sorry it’s taken me so long to get back to you….

CHO
No…no…it’s ok Harry…really. I would’ve been mad if I were you aswell.

HARRY
It’s just…I still want to be friends…if that’s fine.

CHO
I’d like that

Cho’s friends call her from behind and she looks back and holds up one finger.

CHO
Well I guess I should go…I’ll see you around Harry.

She holds out her and hand and Harry grabs it as they shake hands and she walks away. Ron and Hermione walk up behind him.

HERMIONE
That was really nice of you Harry….

RON
So does this mean no more snogging between you two?

HARRY
Funny Ron…but no…I have my eye on someone else…

RON
Who?

HARRY
Oh…um…

HERMIONE
So what does that letter say that Katie gave you Harry?

Harry looks at Hermione thankful for the interference and opens the letter.

HARRY
It’s from Dumbledore; he wants me to meet him in his office on Saturday for the private lessons.

RON
Snapes not going to be pleased, you won’t be able to go to detention

HARRY
All the better then.

HERMIONE
Come on we’re almost late for Potions….

INT-POTIONS CLASSROOM-EVENING

The scene cuts to Slughorn pacing in front of the class.

SLUGHORN
Now then! Scales out, everyone, and potion kits, and don’t forget your copies of Advanced Potion Making (Harry raises his hand) Yes Harry?

HARRY
I haven’t got a book or scale or anything…nor’s Ron…we didn’t realize we’d be able to do the N.E.W.T., you see…

SLUGHORN
Oh yes, Professor McGonagall mentioned this to me. Not to worry, you can use ingredients from the store cupboard today. I’m sure we can lend you some scales, and we’ve got a small stock of old books here, they’ll do until you can get some new ones.

He walks over to the cabinet opens it and pulling out two old ADVANCED POTION MAKING books. He hands one to Harry and the other to Ron and walks back to the front of the class.
SLUGHORN
Now, I’ve prepared a few potions here for you to look at, just out of interest, you know. These are the kind of things you ought to be able to make after completing your N.E.W.T.s. Can anyone tell me what this one is?

Hermione raises her hand.

SLUGHORN
Yes, dear?

HERMIONE
It’s Veritaserum, a colorless, odorless potion that forces the drinker to tell the truth.

SLUGHORN
Very good! Now can anyone tell me what this one…

HERMIONE
It’s Polyjuice Potion, sir.

SLUGHORN
Excellent! Now this one….

HERMIONE
It’s Amortentia. It’s the most powerful love potion in the world.

SLUGHORN
Quite right! May I ask your name, my dear?

HERMIONE
Hermione Granger, sir.

SLUGHORN
Granger? Can you possibly be related to Hector Dagworth-Granger, who founded the Most Extraordinary Society of Potioneeers?

HERMIONE
No sir, I’m Muggle born.

SLUGHORN
Oho! I’m assuming this is the very friend of whom you spoke about that is the best of your year, Harry?

HARRY
Yes, sir.

He looks at Hermione as she smiles embarrassingly.

SLUGHORN
Lovely, I say Twenty Points for Gryffindor! And now, it is time for us to start work.

NEVILLE
Sir, you haven’t told us what’s in this one!

SLUGHORN
Oh yes, well that one is a most curious potion called Felix Felicis. I take it that you know what Felix Felicis does, Miss Granger?

HERMIONE
It’s liquid luck. It makes you lucky.

Everyone in the class murmers with excitement.

SLUGHORN
Quite right. It’s desperately tricky to make, and disastrous to get wrong. However, if brewed correctly, as this has been, you will find that all your endeavors tend to succeed…at least until the effects wear off.

DEAN
Why don’t people drink it all the time, sir?

SLUGHORN
Because if taken in excess, it causes giddiness, recklessness, and dangerous overconfidence. Too much of a good thing, you know.

SEAMUS
Have you ever taken it, sir?

SLUGHORN
Twice in my life. Now, one tiny bottle of Felix Felicis is the prize I’m giving away at the end of this lesson. Enough for twelve hours luck! Now turn to page ten of Advanced Potions Making and you will attempt to make a decent Draught of Living Death.

Everyone opens there book. Harry lazily opens his and the camera goes to show that there are a lot of small notes written by the previous owner.

HARRY
Ron…look at this….whoever had this book last wrote an alternate way to do this. Do you think I should follow it?

RON
Dunno…you can try right?

HARRY
Yeah…..

The scene fades to moments later where every student has a cauldron bubbling with potion in front of them. Harry is still following what’s in the margins and Hermione looks at him in anger when his potion seems to be coming further along than hers.

HERMIONE
How are you doing that?

HARRY
Add a clockwise stir…

HERMIONE
No, the book says counterclockwise!

SLUGHORN
And times up!

He starts to walk around the room looking at the potion and stops at Harry

SLUGHORN
The clear winner. Excellent, Harry. It is clear you’ve inherited your mother’s talent. Here you are then, one bottle of Felix Felices.

Harry smiles and Hermione sends an angry glare at him as the scene fades to…

INT. GRYFFINDOR COMMON ROOM-EVENING

Harry and Ron are sitting playing WIZARDS CHESS and Hermione and Ginny enters into the Common Room. Hermione angrily walks up to Harry.

HERMIONE
How did you do that?

HARRY
Do what?

HERMIONE
You know what! Today in potions! How did you make a Draught of Living Death so perfectly?

HARRY
Good luck, I suppose. What is it? You think I cheated?

HERMIONE
Well it wasn’t exactly your own work, was it?

RON
He only followed different instructions to ours. Could’ve been a catastrophe but he took the risk and it paid off! Slughorn could’ve handed me that book, but no, I get the one no one’s ever written on. Puked on, by the look of page fifty two...

GINNY
Hang on…you’ve been taking orders from something someone wrote in a book Harry?

HARRY
Yeah, I just tried a few tips written in the margins! It….

He glances around to make sure no one else is listening

HARRY
It’s not like Riddle’s diary from my second year Ginny I promise.

GINNY
But you’re doing what it says?

HERMIONE
We ought to check that there’s nothing odd about it. I mean...

She pulls out her wand and grabs the book from Harry and points the wand at it.

HERMIONE
Specialis Revelio!

Nothing happens

HARRY
Finished? Or d’you want to wait and see if it does a few backflips.

HERMIONE
It seems all right.

HARRY
Good. Then I’ll have it back.

RON
Well this game is ruined…guess I’m off to bed…

HARRY
Yeah me too…I have my meeting with Dumbledore tomorrow. Night guys!

GINNY and HERMIONE
Night!

They all exit and Harry forgets he left the book on the table and turns back to fetch it. He picks it up and looks down at it and notices something written on it. The camera zooms in to show the writing which says ‘This Book is the Property of the Half-Blood Prince’.

INT-DUMBLEDORE’S OFFICE-NIGHT

The scene fades to the SPINNING GARGOYLE that leads to Dumbledore’s Office. Harry slowly opens the door to DUMBLEDORE’S OFFICE. The camera slowly pans around the room to show the POTRAITS on the wall asleep and Dumbledore’s PENSIEVE glowing with a light blue light. The camera continues to pan to Dumbledore who is sitting on the steps in front of his desk examining his damaged hand. As Harry walks forward Dumbledore lowers his hand and smile.

DUMBLEDORE
Ah Harry, right on time!

HARRY
Good evening sir.

DUMBLEDORE
You have been wondering, I am sure, what I have planned for you during these lessons?

HARRY
Does what you’re going to tell me have anything to do with the prophecy?

DUMBLEDORE
Ah the prophecy. I’m glad you brought that up Harry. When you picked up the prophecy last year you heard it being given in your head am I correct?

HARRY
Yes sir….

DUMBLEDORE
The prophecy you heard last year was made by none other than Professor Trelawney.

HARRY
Trelawney?

DUMBLEDORE
(chuckles)
Seems a bit unbelievable?

HARRY
How do you know it was her sir?

DUMBLEDORE
I was there when she made it. You see I was interviewing her for the teaching post here. Unfortunately we were interrupted…..

Dumbledore pauses a look of regret showing on his face for saying that. He stands up suddenly and walks up to his desk and starts looking through the papers on it.

HARRY
By who sir?

DUMBLEDORE
That isn’t important at the moment I’m sorry to say…

HARRY
Did this person hear what she said? Was this….person…the one who told Voldemort about the prophecy? Are they the reason my parents are dead?

Dumbledore looks up at Harry and sighs.

DUMBLEDORE
I’m sorry to say that in some way they are…..

HARRY
Sir I think I have the right to know….

DUMBLEDORE
I’m sorry Harry but we have more things to discuss right now…Ah!

He picks up a piece of parchment and walks down the steps and hands it to Harry.

HARRY
What is this sir?

DUMBLEDORE
Sirius’s will. He left you Grimmauld Place and everything in it.

HARRY
He left me his house?

DUMBLEDORE
He also sent Kreature, his house elf, here to work in the kitchens for some time with the other house elfs last year because he was tired of hearing him muttering around the house. You own him aswell. If you need him just simply call out his name and he will appear.

Dumbledore walks over to the pensieve as Harry stares down at Sirius’s will. Dumbledore puts the tip of his wand on his temple and pulls out a LIGHT BLUE STRING and tosses it into the Pensieve. He then turns around to face Harry, the light from the Pensieve shines brightly on his face.

DUMBLEDORE
The reason I’m holding these lessons Harry is to give you a look into Lord Voldemort’s past. I think important things lie there that will ultimately help you defeat him in the end. Now if you please….

Harry walks up into the Pensieve and looks down at his contents. Swirling in it seems to be an image of an old building. Harry leans forward and SWOOSH the room dissolves and Harry is now standing by a much younger Dumbledore who is standing a street. The camera pans over to show an old ORPHANAGE standing in front of them. The younger Dumbledore walks into Harry but Harry goes THROUGH him. Harry slowly follows Dumbledore as he opens the gate to the Orphanage and approaches the door.

INT. THE ORPHANAGE-MAIN HALL-PAST-NIGHT

Dumbledore walks into the old building which looked shabby but is spotlessly clean. Dumbledore walks down the hall and they see a few orphans walk by. Dumbledore turns and enters an office.

INT. ORPHANAGE-MRS. COLES OFFICE-MOMENTS LATER

Dumbledore walks into the room followed by Harry. MRS. COLE is filing through some paperwork and when she looks up seems a bit shocked by Dumbledore’s appearance.

YOUNG DUMBLEDORE
Mrs. Cole? Hello, my name is Albus Dumbledore. I am a teacher and I have come to offer Tom Riddle a place at my school.

MRS. COLE
And how come you’re interested in Tom?

YOUNG DUMBLEDORE
We believe he has qualities we are looking for. I think this will make everything clear.

He hands Mrs. Cole a piece of parchment and as she looks down at it Dumbledore waves his wand and he eyes become slightly glazed over and clear again and she looks back up at him.

MRS. COLE
This looks in order.

YOUNG DUMBLEDORE
Yes well I was wondering whether you could tell me anything of Tom Riddle’s history? I think he was born here in the orphanage?

MRS. COLE
That’s right, it was a nasty night. This girl, not much older than I was myself at the time, came and we took her in. She had the baby in an hour and she was dead in another hour. She told me he was to be named Tom for his father, and Marvolo, for her father and his surname was to be Riddle. She died soon after that without another word.

She looks both ways and then leans in a little closer to Dumbledore

MRS. COLE
(Whispers)
He’s a funny boy.

YOUNG DUMBLEDORE
Oh really, how so?

MRS. COLE
Well…he scares the other children.

YOUNG DUMBLEDORE
You mean he’s a bully?

MRS. COLE
I think he must be but it’s very hard to catch him at it. For instance we took them out once to the seaside for a summer outing. Amy Benson and Dennis Bishop were never quite right afterwards, and all we ever got out of them was that they’d gone into a cave with Tom Riddle.

DUMBLEDORE
A cave?

MRS. COLE
Yes and he swore they’d just gone exploring, but something happened in there, I’m sure of it. He’s also the only child with a room to themselves, all the other children are afraid to stay with him.

DUMBLEDORE
Is that so? Well would you be so kind to direct me to Tom’s quarters?

INT-ORPHANAGE-TOMS BEDROOM-MOMENTS LATER

The scene cuts to Mrs. Cole opening a door and walking in. Young Dumbledore follows and Harry walks in behind him. He looks and sitting in a bed reading a book in front of him is a young TOM RIDDLE. His room contains only a wardrobe and an iron bedstead

MRS. COLE
Tom you’ve got a visitor. This is Mr. Dumberton…sorry, Dunderbore. Call me when you’re done.

Mrs. Cole flashes Dumbledore a quick smile and exits closing the door behind her.

DUMBLEDORE
How do you do, Tom? I am Professor Dumbledore.

TOM
Professor? What are you here for? Did she get you in to have a look at me?

DUMBLEDORE
No, in fact I contacted her.

TOM
I don’t believe you. She wants me looked at, doesn’t she? Tell the truth!

DUMBLEDORE
I have no reason to lie to you Tom and please watch your tone. I work at a school called Hogwarts. I have come to offer you a place at my school, if you would like to come.

TOM
You’re from the asylum aren’t you? That old cat’s the one who should be in the asylum. I never did anything to little Amy Benson or Dennis Bishop, you can ask them!

DUMBLEDORE
I am not from the asylum. Hogwarts is a school for people with special abilities…

TOM
I’M NOT MAD!

DUMBLEDORE
I know that you are not mad. Hogwarts is not a school for mad people. It is a school of magic.

Tom seems taken aback by these words and stares at Dumbledore for a moment and a smile slowly forms on his face.

TOM
Magic…it’s magic what I can do?

DUMBLEDORE
What is it that you can do?

TOM
All sorts. I can make things move without touching them. I can make animals do what I want them to do, without training them. I can make bad things happen to people who annoy me. I can make them hurt if I want to. I knew I was different…special. Are you a wizard too?

DUMBLEDORE
Yes, I am.

TOM
Prove it.

DUMBLEDORE
If as I take it you are accepting your place at Hogwarts….

TOM
Of course I am!

DUMBLEDORE
Then you are to address me as ‘Professor’ or ‘sir’

Dumbledore takes out his wand and points in at the wardrobe in the corner. BANG! It bursts into flame. A big smile forms across Tom’s face as the wardrobe slowly burns before SWOOSH Dumbledore waves his wand and its back to normal.

TOM
Where can I get one of them?

DUMBLEDORE
All in good time, I think there is something trying to get out of your wardrobe. Open the door.

Tom hesitates and then walks over and opens the wardrobe door. He pulls out a cardboard box that is shaking. He opens it and in it lies a yo yo, a silver thimble, and a tarnished mouth organ in it.

DUMBLEDORE
Is there anything in that box that you ought not to have?

Tom nods his head.

DUMBLEDORE
You are to return them to their owners with your apologies. And be warned: Thieving is not tolerated at Hogwarts. Hogwarts can expel students and the Ministry of Magic will punish lawbreakers. All new wizards must accept that, in entering our world, they abide by our laws.

TOM
Yes, sir. There’s one problem though… I don’t have any money.

YOUNG DUMBLEDORE
There is a fund at Hogwarts for those who require assistance to buy books and robes.

TOM
Where do you buy spellbooks?

DUMBLEDORE
In Diagon Alley, I can help you find everything…

TOM
I don’t need you; I’m used to doing things for myself. How do you get to this Diagon Alley…sir?

DUMBLEDORE
You will be able to see it. Ask for Tom the barman…

Tom frowns at the mention of the name.

DUMBLEDORE
You dislike the name ‘Tom’?

TOM
There are a lot of Toms. Sir…did you know my parents? Or anything about my family? Were they great wizards?

DUMBLEDORE
Ah I know of them Tom yes. I’m sorry to say I don’t know much about your father however, I think he is a muggle.

TOM
Muggle?

DUMBLEDORE
Non magic people.

TOM
You mean my father….the man I’m named after…is nothing?

Dumbledore stares down at Tom who looks a mixture of disappointment and anger.

DUMBLEDORE
Tom being half blood doesn’t make you any less of a wizard.

TOM
I wish I wasn’t. I hate this name Tom and I hate my father! Mrs. Cole told me my mother died after giving birth to me. I killed her.

DUMBLEDORE
Tom that wasn’t your fault…

TOM
I’d like to think it was. Serves her right for being involved with a…what did you call it…muggle.

DUMBLEDORE
I don’t ever want to hear you speak of such prejudice again Tom do you understand? If your mother was in love then….

TOM
Love is for the weak. No one has ever loved me…well…no one except….

He walks behind his bed and pulls out a small little case. He opens it and reaches his hand inside of it and a small SNAKE slithers out onto his hand.

TOM
This is my only friend in the world. I named her Nagini, I found her in a cave near here.

DUMBLEDORE
Yes I was going to ask you about this cave Tom….

TOM
I like it there. There are lots of places to discover and hide things. There are times I’d much rather be there than here.

Harry notices a DRAWING that is on the wardrobe door of a ledge surrounded with water below and a dark opening. Tom begins to stroke Nagini’s head and starts to speak PARSELTONGUE. Dumbledore’s eyes widen in shock.

DUMBLEDORE
You can speak to snakes?

TOM
Yes. Is that normal for a wizard?

DUMBLEDORE
It is unusual, but not unheard of. Well it looks my time is coming to a close Tom. All the details are there in this parchment. You will leave from King’s Cross Station on the first of September. Good bye Tom…I shall see you in Hogwarts.

Dumbledore turns to leave and Harry stands and stares at young Tom Riddle as he continues to talk to Nagini and SWOOSH the room dissolves and we’re back in Dumbledore’s Office.

INT. HOGWARTS-DUMBLEDORE’S OFFICE-NIGHT

Dumbledore has his hand on Harry’s should and Harry looks up at Dumbledore.

HARRY
Wow…he was a….interesting kid.

DUMBLEDORE
Indeed he was. Now Harry there are a few things of note I want you to take from that memory. Did you notice how Tom liked to collect trophies? You saw the box of stolen articles am I correct? These were taken from the victims of his bullying behavior. Bear in mind this magpie-like tendency, for this, particularly, will be important later.

HARRY
He seemed to be well developed in magic to not know he was a wizard.

DUMBLEDORE
Yes. He was already using magic against people, to frighten, to punish, to control. The story of the young boy and girl he lured into a cave were most suggestive…

HARRY
He immediately hated anything to do with half bloods.

DUMBLEDORE
Ah yes even at that age Tom considered anyone without magical powers weak. If you noticed he hated the name Tom before he knew it belonged to his muggle father since it was so common. Of course he would soon change his name to one that many fear to speak to this day.

HARRY
Is it important for me to know about Voldemort’s past sir?

DUMBLEDORE
Very important I think Harry. Did you notice how attached he was to his pet snake Nagini?

HARRY
Yes sir….he said it was his only friend. Do you think that’s still the case sir?

DUMBLEDORE
Yes Harry I do…well it seems the hour is late. I will send for you when the time comes!

lcbaseball22 March 12th, 2008 6:24 am

Re: Fan Scripts: Script your own version of Harry Potter
 
Phrozenone, that was incredible, pure genious! You tied up the loose ends very well. I love how you threw the Auror ambition in there, Harry apologizing to Cho, Sirius' Will, and Dumbledore explaining about Trelawny (was this in the book? I see now that Trelawny is not neccessary as some are suggesting. Just have DD relay the info to Harry and that Snape is the one to overhear.)

Thanks for taking my advice and adding to the Potions scene and the Half-Blood Prince book. It was brilliant! :tu:

Not sure if this is possible, I don't know if you changed anything but the DADA scene with Snape seemed even better than last draft!!!

Yes, I think what you did with the first memory was awesome! :tu:
Did we see Nagini in the book? (It's been too long, I can't remember)

Quote:

RON
So does this mean no more snogging between you two?

HARRY
Funny Ron…but no…I have my eye on someone else…

RON
Who?

HARRY
Oh…um…
:lol: Nice job with the hinting. Ron is oblivious.

Sorry, I unfortunately don't have any criticism for you this time. It was great.

Let's just hope Kloves does it similar. It's too bad you're not our scriptwriter!

stacyINC March 13th, 2008 7:19 am

Re: Fan Scripts: Script your own version of Harry Potter
 
Ginny and Harry get together long before the end of DH and she is invoilved in the final action with him and secrets are revealed about her that effect the final outcome of the story....haha


I just made all of that up IDK what I would like alot of things..

Phrozenone March 25th, 2008 9:57 pm

Re: Fan Scripts: Script your own version of Harry Potter
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by lcbaseball22 (Post 4953205)
Phrozenone, that was incredible, pure genious! You tied up the loose ends very well. I love how you threw the Auror ambition in there, Harry apologizing to Cho, Sirius' Will, and Dumbledore explaining about Trelawny (was this in the book? I see now that Trelawny is not neccessary as some are suggesting. Just have DD relay the info to Harry and that Snape is the one to overhear.)

Thanks for taking my advice and adding to the Potions scene and the Half-Blood Prince book. It was brilliant! :tu:

Not sure if this is possible, I don't know if you changed anything but the DADA scene with Snape seemed even better than last draft!!!

Yes, I think what you did with the first memory was awesome! :tu:
Did we see Nagini in the book? (It's been too long, I can't remember)

Thanks Icbaseball22!!! :D

Sorry it's taken me so long to reply. You thought I'd forgotten about your statement about the Potions book huh :p

I changed the DADA scene a bit actually (also it's further back than originally) and I like it. Nagini wasn't there in the book it was one of those things I added because I thought it would add to the scene (Plus we get to see a Horcrux :D) I'm glad you like the memory though because I was really trying to make it flow...but not drag...and really show how disturbed little Tom Riddle was.

Also I made an Edit to the scene in Borgin and Burke's and I have the trio now bumping into a shelf..which in turn holds the very necklace that will come into play later. I thought I should introduce it now instead of having the audience try to think back to Harry seeing it his 2nd year (Did that make it in the film? I think it was a deleted scene)

I will be posting the next section very soon. I've taken some time off to really think through how I want the next section to go (Seeing as Quidditch Tryouts are coming up and I've always been afraid to actually write out Quidditch :lol:)

Thanks for reading my script though I REALLY appreciate it and as an added treat the next section will be longer (To make up for the time I've missed :))

Hmmm well I take it back I guess I'll be posting today instead :lol: I'm not sure if it's as long as I wanted but here is the next section for all those who care :cool:

Quote:

Harry nods and the camera pans over to a overhead shot of the Pensieve. Inside we see the reflection of Tom Riddle with Nagini around his neck smiling up at us. The scene fades to

INT. GRYFFINDOR COMMON ROOM-NIGHT

Harry sitting next to the fireplace while Hermione and Ron sit in the couch in the common room.

RON
You mean to tell me Trelawney is the one who made the prophecy?

HERMIONE
That seems so…..

HARRY
Unbelievable yeah…I want to know who interrupted them though.

HERMIONE
I’m sure Dumbledore will tell you in time.

RON
Doubt it. I mean here I am thinking Dumbledore was going to teach Harry advanced magic and he’s just showing you memories of You Know Who as a kid. I mean what’s the point in that?

HERMIONE
I think it’s fascinating actually. It makes total sense to know as much about Voldemort as possible, how else will you find out his weaknesses?

RON
Yeah well atleast you know you have a house now and you got a house elf that has to do whatever you tell him too. You should get him to clean our room…

HERMIONE
Ron that’s a horrible thing to say!

RON
What?

HERMIONE
House elves have as much rights as we do!

RON
Yeah…the right to clean…cook…or whatever else we want them to.

Hermione looks at Ron with disgust. She gets up and walks off and Ron looks back confused.

RON
Did I say something?

Harry shrugs and the scene cuts to a shot of the dark boys dormitory.

INT. BOYS DORM-HOURS LATER-NIGHT

The only light in the room is the tip of Harry’s wand. The camera cuts to show him reading out of his Advanced Potions Book. The camera shows the writing in the book as Harry’s wand slowly goes down the page looking at them.

HARRY
Strange…it looks like the prince made up his own spells.

Harry continues to read and waves his wand a BAM there is a flash of light and a CRASH. Neville, Seamus, and Dean all jump up as the camera turns to show Ron hanging upside down screaming.

RON
Get me down!! Get me down!!!

Neville, Dean, and Seamus all laugh

HARRY
Oh..um…sorry Ron. Hang on…I’ll let you down… let me find the counter-curse!

He grabs for his book and looks through the pages. He drops the book and points the wand at Ron. There’s a flash of light and Ron falls to his mattress.

HARRY
Sorry about that….was just trying out one of the prince non verbal spells.

RON
(In an exhausted voice)
Tomorrow, I’d rather you set the alarm clock.

INT-HOGWARTS-THE GREAT HALL-MORNING

The scene cuts to a shot of Hogwarts and follows an owl through the Great Hall. The camera then pans down to Harry, Ron, and Hermione at the Gryffindor table.

HERMIONE
So you just decided to try out an unknown, handwritten incantation and see what would happen?

HARRY
Why does it matter if it’s handwritten?

HERMIONE
Because it’s probably not Ministry of Magic approved and also because I’m starting to think this Prince character was a bit dodgy.

RON
It was a laugh Hermione, that’s all. Calm down. You just don’t like the Prince because he’s better than you in Potions…

Hermione
It’s got nothing to do with that! I just think it’s very irresponsible to start performing spells when you don’t even know what they’re for! Half Blood Prince, I bet it’s just a stupid nickname, and it doesn’t seem as though he’s a very nice person to me!

HARRY
Hermione if he’d been a budding Death Eater he wouldn’t have been boasting about being ‘half-blood’ would he?

HERMIONE
The Death Eaters can’t all be pure blood, and I bet it’s only Muggle-borns they hate, they’d be quite happy to let you and Ron join up!

RON
There’s no way they’d let me be a Death Eater, my whole family are blood traitors! That’s as bad as Muggle-borns to them!

HARRY
And they’d love to have me; we’d be best pals if they didn’t keep trying to do me in.

Hedwig flies in and lands a large package in front of Harry. Harry opens the pack and it’s a new copy of the Advanced Potion Making book.

HARRY
Thanks Hedwig

HERMIONE
Oh good, now you can give that graffitied copy back.

HARRY
Are you mad? I’m keeping it! I’ll give Slughorn back the new one, he can’t complain.

Hermione frowns and grabs the Daily Prophet and starts to read.

RON
Anyone we know dead?

HERMIONE
No. Oh, look. Your dad’s in here, Ron.

Ron turns to her with a look of panic in his eyes.

HERMIONE
He’s alright! It just says he’s been to visit the Malfoy’s house.

The camera pans to show a shot of the DAILY PROPHET that has a picture of MALFOY MANOR on the front of it.

HERMIONE
This second search of the Death Eater’s residence does not seem to have yielded any results. Arthur Weasley of the Office for the Detection and Confiscation of Counterfeit Defensive Spells and Protective Objects said that his team had been acting upon a confidential tip-off.

HARRY
Yeah, mine. I told him about Malfoy and that thing he’s trying to get Borgin to fix, aswell as that Vanishing Cabinet.

HERMIONE
Oh Harry….

SLUGHORN
Harry m’boy!!

They all look up and coming towards them is Professor Slughorn holding a pinapple and a big smile on his face.

SLUGHORN
Harry, Harry, just the man I was hoping to see! What do you say to a spot of supper tonight in my rooms? We’re having a little party, just a few rising stars, I’ve got McLaggen coming and Zabini. I hope very much that Miss Granger will favor me by coming also!

HARRY
I can’t come, Professor. I’ve got a detention with Professor Snape.

SLUGHORN
Oh dear! Dear, dear, I was counting on you, Harry! Well now, I’ll just have to have a word with Severus and explain the situation. I’m sure I’ll be able to persuade him to postpone your detention. Yes, I’ll see you both later!

He walks away in a hurry and Ron frowns at the fact that he was totally just ignored.

RON
He acted like he didn’t even see me!

HARRY
No worries Ron. He’s got no chance of persuading Snape.

Harry looks up and notices Dumbledore’s empty chair in the front of the Great Hall

HARRY
Have you noticed Dumbledore hasn’t been seen in a while? Last time I saw him was during our lesson.

HERMIONE
Yeah I did notice…maybe he’s out doing things for the Order…

HARRY
Maybe….

The camera shows a shot of Dumbledore’s empty chair and slowly fades to Harry, Ron, and Hermione walking down a corridor towards a class. Cormac McLaggen is seen coming towards them in a hurry. He bumps into Ron as he approaches Harry.

CORMAC
Harry! We met on the train, in old Sluggy’s compartment, Cormac McLaggen, Keeper.

HARRY
Ok…..

CORMAC
Just wanted to have a word before Quidditch tryouts later today. I’m sure you’ll find I’m the best Keeper you’ll find this year.

He makes a slight glance over at Ron who is staring at him angrily

HARRY
Yeah well I judge that for myself out on the field.

CORMAC
You’ll go wrong not to pick me Potter.

He gives a slight smile and walks away from them with his head held high.

RON
Who the bloody hell does he think he is? You’re not going to let him on the team are you?

HARRY
I have to be fair Ron….

SNAPE
(Off screen)
Potter….

Harry, Ron, and Hermione turn around and see walking slowly towards them Snape.

SNAPE
You are to be in my office at half past eight tonight to do your detention Potter. No matter how many party invitations you have received.

He looks down at Harry and then proceeds to walk away.

RON
Well…I guess that’s a no to the party then…..

Harry watches as Snape continues to walk down the hall and clouds slowly cover the screen and them

EXT. QUIDDITCH STADIUM-Later that Day

SWOOSH Ginny flies by quickly on her broom holding a QUAFFLE as the scene cuts to the Quidditch Tryouts. She ducks as a BLUDGER almost hits her. She is flying towards McLaggen who is guarding one of the GOAL POSTS. There is a shot of Harry who is hovering above and looks impressed at Ginny’s skills. He glances over at Ron who is in front of the opposite goal post and who looks very nervous.

Another bludger heads towards Ginny and SMACK Dean intercepts knocking it away. There are cheers in the audience and the camera cuts to show a crowd of people in the stands and we see Hermione sitting in the midst looking nervous. Ginny approaches McLaggen and throws the Quaffle but BOOM he knocks it out of way. He gives a smile at Ginny who frowns as she turns around.

HARRY
Alright the score is now tied. The next Keeper who can’t block Ginnys or Katies Quaffle won’t make the team.

He blows his whistle and Katie is off speeding towards Ron who looks even greener than he did before. Once again we cut back to the audience and show Lavender.

LAVENDER
Let’s go Ron!! You got it!!

Hermione glances over at her with a look of disgust in her eyes. Katie dodges the bludger and SWISH tosses the Quaffle to Ginny who immediately throws it at Ron. Ron flies up quickly and with a quick turn of his broom BAM knocks the Quaffle away and the crowd roars. Harry gives a sigh of relief as Katie and Ginny both take the Quaffle to the other side again. Prepared McLaggen waits and as Ginny throws the Quaffle McLaggen veers off in the other direction and DING the score is made. Harry blows his whistle and all the Quidditch players land their brooms on the field.

HARRY
Due to the fact that McLaggen only saved 4 and Ron saved 5 I think it’s only fair to award Ron the position of Keeper.

McLaggen lands his broom and storms up quickly towards Harry. He is clearly angry.

CORMAC
His sister didn’t really try. She gave him an easy save!

HARRY
Rubbish! You know just as well as I that it was a fair save.

CORMAC
Give me another go!

HARRY
No. Now if you don’t mind, get out of my face.

Cormac looks as if he wants to hit Harry but storms off. Harry smiles as he turns around and his new teams is smiling back at him.

HARRY
Well it was a great tryout and I think this is a solid team. So congratulations everyone and I’ll see you at practice next week.

Everyone begins to leave and Harry runs towards Ginny who is taking off her gloves.

HARRY
When did you get so good Ginny? That was really impressive.

GINNY
When you grow up with as many brothers as I did you learn a few tricks.

He smiles but Dean comes up and puts his arm around Ginny and Harry’s smile fades.

DEAN
Great tryouts Harry.

HARRY
Yeah…you did fine yourself Dean.

DEAN
Thanks…Ginny you ready to get out of here?

GINNY
Yeah….see ya later Harry.

She waves at him and watches as Ginny and Dean walk away hand and hand. Ron comes up behind Harry excited and hits him in his arm.

RON
I did alright didn’t I?

HARRY
Yeah and good thing to. Now I don’t have to deal with that McLaggen.

RON
Did you see him lumbering off in the wrong direction on his fifth? Looked like he’d been Confunded…..

HARRY
You’re right…..

RON
(Excited)
Hermione!

Hermione is walking towards them but is cut off as Lavender and PERVATI PATIL run past her and approach Ron.

LAVENDER
You were amazing Ron…

RON
Oh…thanks Lavender.

LAVEDER
Hey I was wondering if you could…you know…help me carry my books to the common room. You see they’re really heavy….

RON
Oh…um…sure why not?

He takes Lavenders books and they begin to walk off. Lavender turns and gives a wink at Pervati who giggles and walks away. Hermione clearly upset walks up behind Harry.

HERMIONE
What was that about?

HARRY
I guess Lavender’s books were too heavy….

HERMIONE
That’s likely….

HARRY
Something that is highly unlikely is how it seemed McLaggen was confounded during that last shot….

Harry glances over at Hermione who looks away with a look of shame on her face.

HARRY
Hermione….

HERMIONE
All right I did it…but I did it for the good of the team! He’s got a nasty temper, you saw how he reacted when he didn’t get in…you wouldn’t have wanted someone like that on the team.

HARRY
Hermione you sneaky devil you….

HERMIONE
Yes well I think the real sneaky devil is that Lavender Brown.

She walks off angrily as Harry looks over and see a group of girls giggling and waving at him. Romilda Vane is in this group and she blows a kiss at Harry. Harry does a nervous chuckle as the scene slowly fades to a shot of Hogwarts now during the winter. We get a sweeping shot of the school and the camera pans to show Harry and Ron walking in the snow towards HAGRIDS HUT. They knock on the door and HAGRID opens and lets them in.

EXT. OUTSIDE HAGRIDS HUT MOMENTS LATER

HAGRID
Thanks for comin’ down you two….

The camera shows a barrel full of what looked like foot long maggots, that are slimy, white, and writhing sitting on the table.

RON
What the bloody hell are those Hagrid?

HAGRID
Nothing to worry bout….Jus’ giant grubs

RON
And they grow into…?

HAGRID
They won’ grow inter nuthin’, I got em ter feed Aragog

Hagrid pauses and then he begins to cry. He takes an old towel and blows his nose with it.

HARRY
Hagrid…what’s….

HAGRID
It’s…him….Aragog…I think he’s dyin…I don’t know what I’ll do if he…if he….We’ve bin tergether so long…

RON
Wait Aragog? You mean that big giant spider that sent his kids to kill Harry and me our second year. I say good riddance….

Harry nudges Ron with his elbow and he goes silent as Hagrid continues to weep.

HARRY
Hagrid I….is there anything we can do?

HAGRID
I don’ think so Harry, see the rest o’ the tribe, Aragog’s family…they’re getting a bit funny now he’s ill…bit restive…

RON
Yeah, I think we saw a bit of that side of them

HAGRID
I don’t reckon it’d be safe fer anyone but me ter go near the colony at the mo But thanks fer offerin, it means a lot…

Hagrid blows his nose again and the scene cuts to the court yard where a group of students are waiting to go to HOGSMEADE. FILCH is searching the students with his SECRECY SENSOR before they can exit.

HARRY
What is he doing?

HERMIONE
Checking to make sure there are no dark objects on any of us. They did the same thing when we first came to school. Filch also banned anything from Fred and George’s shop.

RON
Yes but what does it matter if we’re smuggling Dark stuff OUT?

GINNY
Harry…hey I’m supposed to give you this.

She hands him a piece of parchment.

HARRY
Thanks, Ginny. Do you think you’re going to join us in Hogsmeade?

GINNY
I’m going with Dean…might see you there.

She waves and walks away and Harry, disappointed, opens the piece of parchment.

HARRY
It’s from Dumbledore! Our next lesson is Monday!

HERMIONE
So he’s back then? That’s good to hear…

EXT. HOGSMEADE-DAY

The scene cuts to a shot of HOGSMEADE in the distance. We see the various shops and many students happily going in and out of them. There are a few shops that are boarded up however that Harry, Ron, and Hermione notice as they walk slowly down the streets of the town as a few students get into a snowball fight next to them. They notice Tonks looking around and approach her.

TONKS
Wotcher Harry, Ron, and Hermione.

HARRY
Hey Tonks…you alright?

TONKS
I’m okay. Glad to see you three though. Well I have to be off…lots to do. Take care.

She gives a weak smile and walks away.

RON
She looks terrible….

HERMIONE
Ron!

RON
No I mean…look at her clothes and hair...she looks kinda depressed. I saw her once crying to mum…

HERMIONE
Well lets go inside I’m freezing.

INT-HONEYDUKES-MOMENTS LATER

As they walk into Honeydukes they slowly take of their gloves as the hot warm temperature in the room hits them. Harry notices Ginny and Dean sitting having a cup of Butterbear but before he can say something a loud voice yells out to him.

SLUGHORN
Harry m’boy!

HARRY
On no…..

SLUGHORN
Harry, that’s three of my little suppers you’ve missed now! It won’t do, m’boy, I’m determined to have you! Miss Granger loves them, don’t you?

HERMIONE
Yes, they’re really…

SLUGHORN
So why don’t you come along, Harry?

HARRY
Oh...well…you see I have Quidditch practice.

SLUGHORN
Well I certainly expect you to win your first match. Well, how about Monday night?

HARRY
Can’t, I have a meeting with Dumbledore

SLUGHORN
Unlucky again! You can’t evade me forever, Harry! Well see you two later!

He gives a nice wave and walks away clutching his pineapple.

RON
You two? You two! Am I wearing an invisibility cloak or something?

HARRY
Yeah well atleast you don’t have him pestering you about going to some stupid dinners all the time...

We see a shot of Slughorn now talking to McLaggen and the scene slowly fades to…

EXT- OUTSIDE OF HOGSMEADE

Harry, Ron, and Hermione back on their way to school. There are about 4 different groups of students walking. Harry notices Katie walking very slowly and her friend LEANNE is says something to her. Katie looks over at Leanne and frowns.

KATIE
It’s nothing to do with you, Leanne!

Katie clutches the package she is holding tighter to her chest.

LEANNE
Katie stop being a difficult and let me see what it is!

Leanne reaches for the package and it rips as Katie pulls back on it. All at once Katie rises in the air with her arms outstretched with her hair whipping around her by a feirce wind. Her eyes are closed for a moment and then she lets out a terrible scream. Her eyes open and Leanne begins to scream. She runs to Katie and tries to pull her down by her ankles. Harry, Ron, and Hermione run up to help and when they grab her she falls and Harry and Ron catches her. She’s shaking tremendously. They lower her to the ground and she’s thrashing and screaming.

The scene cuts to Hagrid picking Katie up as Ron and Harry watch on and Hermione holds onto Leanne who is still shaking and crying.

HAGRID
It’s ok, I’ll be taking her to the hospital wing.

He walks away as she continues to scream. Ron walks bends down and we see a shot of a ornate opal necklace that’s sticking out of the paper. He reaches down to grab it but Harry grabs his arm.

HARRY
Don’t touch it! I’ve seen this before…remember we saw this on display in Borgin and Burks when we bumped into that shelf. The label said it was cursed… Katie must have touched it.

Harry turns and slowly walks towards Leanne.

HARRY
How did Katie get hold of this?

LEANNE
Well that’s why we were arguing. She came back from the bathroom in the Three Broomsticks holding it, said it was a surprise for somebody at Hogwarts and she had to deliver it. She looked all funny when she….oh no…I bet she’d been Imperiused and I didn’t realize!

HERMIONE
We’d better get up to school.

HARRY
She didn’t say who’d given it to her, Leanne?

LEANNE
No…she wouldn’t tell me.

INT-HOGWARTS-MCGONAGALLS OFFICE-NIGHT

The scene cuts to the Harry, Ron, and Hermione standing in front Professor McGonagalls desk in her office.

MCGONAGALL
So what happened when Katie touched the necklace?

HARRY
She rose up in the air and then began to scream, and collapsed. Professor, can I see Professor Dumbledore, please?

McGONAGALL
The headmaster is away until Monday, Potter.

HARRY
Away?

McGONAGALL
Yes, Potter, away. But anything you have to say about this horrible business can be said to me, I’m sure!

Harry glances over at Ron and Hermione and takes a deep breathe before he speaks.

HARRY
I think Draco Malfoy gave Katie that necklace, Professor.

McGONAGALL
That is a very serious accusation, Potter. Do you have any proof?

HARRY
Well…no…but you must trust me.

McGONAGALL
Potter, you cannot point the finger of blame at Mr. Malfoy, he was not in Hogsmeade today. He was doing detention with me. And it might interest you to know Potter that Mr. Filch has set up Secrecy Sensors all over the school grounds. Any Dark object will be found; even the owls have extra security! Now if that is all, good day to you all!

INT-MOVING STAIRCASE-NIGHT

The scene cuts to them walking up the stairs towards their common room

RON
Who do you think Katie was supposed to give the necklace to?

HERMIONE
Whoever it was has had a narrow escape don’t you think? No one could have opened that package without touching the necklace.

HARRY
It could’ve been meant for loads of people. Dumbledore, Slughorn…I wonder why Malfoy told her to take it into the castle.

HERMIONE
Harry, Malfoy wasn’t in Hogsmeade!

HARRY
He must have used an accomplice then.

RON
(Irritably)
Oh drop it, Harry!

HARRY
Don’t take that tone with me! It’s not my fault Slughorn invited Hermione and me to his stupid party, neither of us wanted to go, you know?

RON
Well, as I’m not invited to any parties, I think I’ll go to bed.

Ron walks ahead of them angrily and Harry sighs.

HERMIONE
Harry you should apologize. I know you’re convinced that Malfoys somehow at fault but he wasn’t there….

HARRY
He is involved Hermione, I know it!

HERMIONE
Harry…just get some rest alright?

Harry nods and Hermione looks at him with worry in her eyes. The scene then cuts to a shot of Hogwarts with the full moon hanging over it.

INT. HOGWARTS-THE ROOM OF REQUIREMENT

The scene then cuts to Ginny standing in front of the mirror in the ROOM OF REQUIREMENT. Harry slowly walks up behind her as she turns around and smiles at him.

GINNY
You’re a good teacher Harry.

HARRY
Ginny?

She looks up and above them a mistletoe is forming.

GINNY
Mistletoe.

Harry has a look of pure confusion on his face. Why does this seem so familiar?

HARRY
Probably full of nargles….

GINNY
What are nargles?

HARRY
No idea….

He slowly goes in to kiss Ginny getting closer and closer….

DUMBLEDORE
(Offscreen)
Harry?

INT. DUMBLEDORE’S OFFICE-NIGHT

The scene cuts to Harry sitting in Dumbledore’s Office and we now see that he was daydreaming. Dumbledore walks from the room behind his desk slowly.

HARRY
Professor! I’m sorry I came for the lesson and didn’t see you so I decided to wait.

DUMBLEDORE
Did I interrupt a daydream? I’m terribly sorry….

HARRY
No…no…I’m fine….

Dumbledore looks curiously at Harry

DUMBLEDORE
Who is she?

HARRY
Sir?

DUMBLEDORE
(Chuckles)
I may be old but I know the look of a man in love…who is she?

HARRY
Ginny Weasley sir….

DUMBLEDORE
Ah…your best friends sister.

HARRY
Yeah…I guess that is sort of the dilemma. I don’t want Ron to hate me….

DUMBLEDORE
You think he would?

HARRY
Yeah…I mean…I don’t know why I feel this way about her….

DUMBLEDORE
Ah Harry love is cruel. You can’t help who you’re chosen to love sometimes…

Dumbledore slowly picks up his wand and stares at it. A memory seems to cross his mind as he stares distantly at it.

DUMBLEDOER
Love…such a beautiful thing…but sometimes oh so cruel….

HARRY
Sir?

Dumbledore snaps out of his slight trance and looks down at Harry.

DUMBLEDORE
I don’t think you give Mr. Weasley enough credit…I’m sure as long as you’re happy…

HARRY
Yeah well Ron can be a bit harsh when he needs to be. I’m not too worried about it though sir, you see she already has a boyfriend….

DUMBLEDORE
The plot thickens…..

Harry notices that Dumbledore’s hand looks even worse than before. It seems to be spreading as now his most of his fingers are black and withered aswell.

HARRY
Sir where have you been?

DUMBLEDORE
On a little adventure…there’s a lot to do Harry and sadly not enough time to do it.…

He does a slight glance at his hand as he says this and then he proceeds to walk down towards Harry.

DUMBLEDORE
Speaking of time I think it’s about time we get to the source of today’s lesson. Now this next memory you’re about to see Harry is very important…pay close attention.

Harry nods and walks up to the Pensieve. He takes a deep breath and sticks his head down as the room dissolves and we are now standing in Slughorns Office.

INT-SLUGHORNS OFFICE-NIGHT-PAST

Standing there is a much younger Slughorn holding on to a pineapple with a big grin in his face. Standing across from his is a Teenaged TOM RIDDLE in the room with a young Bellatrix, AVERY, ALECTO, and AMYCUS.

SLUGHORN
Thank you for the pineapple Tom, you’re quite right, it is my favorite!

Slughorn looks down at the small golden clock on his desk.

SLUGHORN
Good gracious, is it that time already? You all better get going, or we’ll all be in trouble. Lestrange, I want your essay by tomorrow or it’s detention! Same goes for you, Avery.

They rest of them gather their things and begin to leave. Bellatrix throws a smile at Tom before exiting as Slughorn sorts through paper on his desk. He looks up and notices Tom standing there.

SLUGHORN
Look sharp Tom. You don’t want to be caught out of bed out of hours….

Tom looks down and twists the RING with a BLACK STONE around his finger and looks up at Slughorn.

TOM
Sir, I wanted to ask you something.

SLUGHORN
Ask away, then, m’boy, ask away…

TOM
Sir, I wondered what you know about….about Horcruxes?

The room all of a sudden feels with a dense fog until nothing can be seen except Harry and we hear a loud booming voice shout out:

SLUGHORN
(Offscreen)
I don’t know anything about Horcruxes and I wouldn’t tell you if I did! Now get out of here at once and don’t let me catch you mentioning them again.

The room then slowly dissolves and we are back in Dumbledore’s Office

INT. DUMBLEDORE’S OFFICE-MOMENTS LATER

DUMBLEDORE
So what did you think?

HARRY
That seemed really odd sir….was that memory…?

DUMBLEDORE
Tampered with? Indeed Harry.

HARRY
But why would Slughorn….

DUMBLEDORE
I think he is ashamed of what he remembers Harry. So I think it’s time for me to give you your first homework assignment. It will be your job to persuade Professor Slughorn to divulge the real memory, which will undoubtedly be our most crucial piece of information of all. How important, we will only know when we have seen the real thing. So good luck….and good night….

HERMIONE
(Offscreen)
Horcruxes…

INT. HOGWARTS-CORRIDOR-NEXT DAY

HERMIONE
I’ve never even heard of them…they must be really advanced Dark Magic, or why would Voldemort have wanted to know about them? It’s going to be difficult to get the information from him Harry, you should think out a strategy.

Harry, Ron, and Hermione are walking down the hallways after a class. Harry notices Draco who looks a little pale down the hall. He looks back and then turns out of the main hall.

HARRY
Draco hasn’t been himself lately…

RON
Seems like the same git to me and speaking of gits….

McLaggen walks towards them but doesn’t look at Ron or Harry just Hermione.

CORMAC
So did you enjoy ole Sluggy’s last party?

HERMIONE
Um…yeah it was ok….

CORMAC
Potter and Weasley here must know that he only invites the best…even though some let extremely lucky people get on their teams….

HARRY
You got something to say?

CORMAC
I think I’ve said all I needed too. See ya around Hermione….

He smiles and walks away with a look of satisfaction on his face.

RON
Who does he think he is? Just because you’re invited to some…stupid party..doesn’t make you better than everyone else….

HERMIONE
Just ignore him Ron…

RON
You’re one to talk! Seems like you two really hit it off to me. How was Slughorn’s latest party?

HERMIONE
It was quite fun actually. I mean he drones on about famouse ex pupils a bit, and he absolutely fawns over McLaggen because he’s so well connected, but it was really nice.

RON
Oh yeah such a great thing to spend an evening with McLaggen huh Hermione.

Hermione shoots a look at Ron and rolls her eyes.

HERMIONE
Anyways, he’s going to have a Christmas party and Harry there’s no way to wiggle out of this one because he actually asked me to check your free evenings, so he could be sure to have it on a night you could come.

HARRY
Excellent, thanks Hermione

RON
And this is another party just for Slughorns favorites, isn’t it?

HERMIONE
The Slug Club, yes.

RON
Slug Club! That’s pathetic. Well I hope you enjoy the party Hermione, why don’t you try hooking up with McLaggen, you guys could be King and Queen Slug.

HERMIONE
Well we are allowed to bring guests and I was going to ask you to come, but if you think its stupid then I won’t bother.

Ron looks a bit shocked and a slight blush comes over his face.

RON
You…. were going to ask me?

HERMIONE
Yes, but obviously if you’d rather I hooked up with McLaggen

RON
No...what I meant was…

HERMIONE
Well I’m off to the library to see if I can find anything on Horcruxes. Maybe going to the Christmas party will butter Slughorn up a bit Harry.

HARRY
Maybe….

She walks away and Ron and Harry keep walking and turn down another hall that is basically empty

RON
Was she serious? Do you think she was serious? Or was she just…you know…

HARRY
Oh Ron, you act like you actually want to go to Slughorns party.

RON
Oh…me...no…I mean…unless she asked me of course. But then I’ll be going just to be a good friend, not that I’ll enjoy it or anything.

HARRY
(Laughing)
You’re pathetic

They turn another corner and see Ginny and Dean kissing.

RON
What the…

Dean and Ginny both stop kissing and look up. Dean looks embarrassed but Ginny seems a little annoyed.

GINNY
What?

RON
I don’t want to find my own sister snogging people in public.

GINNY
It was an empty corridor until you showed up!

DEAN
C’mon Ginny lets go…

GINNY
Stop telling me what to do Dean! You go, I want a word with my dear brother!

Dean gives a weak smile at Harry and Ron and leaves. Ginny walks up to Ron furious.

GINNY
Lets get this straight once and for all. It is none of your business who I go out with or what I do with them, Ron…

RON
Yeah, it is! D’you think I want people saying my sister’s a…

GINNY
A what exactly?

HARRY
He doesn’t mean anything, Ginny…

GINNY
Oh yes he does! Just because he’s never snogged anyone in his life, just because the best kiss he’s ever had is from our Auntie Muriel…

RON
Shut your mouth!

GINNY
No, I will not! If you went out and got a bit of snogging done yourself, you wouldn’t mind so much that everyone else does it!

Ron pulls his wand out and Harry quickly jumps between the two of them.

RON
You don’t know what you’re talking about! Just because I don’t do it in public!!

GINNY
Oh come off it Ron! Or have you got a picture of Auntie Muriel stashed under your pillow?

A streak of orange light flies from his wand and BANG! It hits the wall beside Ginny’s head. Harry quickly takes Ron by his robes and pins him up against the wall.

HARRY
Don’t be stupid…

GINNY
Harry’s snogged Cho Chang and Hermione snogged Victor Krum, it’s only you who acts like it’s something disgusting, Ron, and that’s because you’ve got as much experience of a six year old!

She turns around and storms off. Harry lets go of Ron who straightens him robes and puts his wand away.

RON
Who does she think she is?

HARRY
Ron calm down….

They begin to continue walking down the corridor and enter into the courtyard.

RON
I’ll have to teach her a few manners…..

Ron pauses as he notices Hermione talking to McLaggen in the distance.

RON
I thought she was supposed to be in the library?

A look of anger and pain crosses over Ron’s face. He turns around and storms off. Harry looks back at Hermione who pulls out her wand and blasts McLaggen across the courtyard. She notices him and runs over.

HARRY
You ok?

HERMIONE
Yeah…I was on the way to the library and McLaggen cornered me again. Where’s Ron?

INT-GRYFFINDOR COMMON ROOM-NIGHT (SAME DAY)

The scene cuts to Harry walking into the common room which is a bit crowded. He notices Ginny and approaches her.

HARRY
Hey Ginny. Have you seen?

GINNY
Looking for Ron? He’s over there, the filthy hypocrite.

Harry looks at notice that Ron and Lavender Brown are sitting in a chair kissing heavily

GINNY
It looks like he’s eating her face, but I suppose he’s got to refine his technique somehow huh?

Harry looks at Ron in amazement and Ginny walks off to join Dean. At this moment Hermione walks into the room and pauses as she notices Ron and Lavender kissing. She pauses for a second before she turns and walks out. Harry runs after her.

INT-CLASSROOM-NIGHT (MOMENTS LATER)

Harry walks into the classroom where Hermione is sitting alone. She has a small ring of yellow birds circling her head.

HARRY
Hermione?

HERMIONE
Oh, hello Harry. I was just practicing.

HARRY
They’re really good.

HERMIONE
Ron seems to be enjoying himself….

HARRY
Does he?

HERMIONE
Don’t pretend you didn’t see him. He wasn’t exactly hiding it was he?

HARRY
Hermione….

Before he could finish his statement the door opens and Ron and Lavender run in holding hands and laughing.

RON
Oh….

LAVENDER
Oops

She laughs, kisses Ron, and backs out of the room slowly closing the door behind her. There is an awkward silence. Hermione is staring at Ron who is just looking at Harry.

RON
Hi, Harry! Wondered where you’d got to!

HERMIONE
Well Ron? Is there something you have to tell me?

RON
I don’t have to explain anything to you. Why don’t you run off with your dear sweet McLaggen.

HARRY
Ron….

Hermione stands up suddenly looking the angriest she’s looked in a long time. The birds start to circle around her head faster now.

HERMIONE
You shouldn’t leave Lavender waiting outside.

RON
Yeah…well…I won’t….

HERMIONE
Good…..Oppugno!!!

She points her wand at Ron and the birds all sped towards Ron and start pecking and clawing at him. He starts to scream and try and get them out of his face. He runs out of the room and past Lavender who shoots Hermione an angry look before running after them. Hermione smiles a little and walks away from Harry who has a look of shock on his face. The scene cuts to

INT-THE GREAT HALL-DAY

Ron and Harry sitting in the Great Hall. Harry is reading his Potions book. While Ron is talking its clear that Harry is ignoring him.

RON
I never promised Hermione anything. I mean, alright, I was going to go to Slughorns Christmas party with her, but just as friends…until she decides to run off after McLaggen.

HARRY
Ron I told you he cornered her…

RON
Hey who’s side are you on?

INT-GREAT HALL-LATER THAT DAY

Harry sighs and continues to read the book as the camera pans over and now it’s just Harry and Hermione sitting in the Great Hall.

HERMIONE
He’s at perfect liberty to kiss whomever he likes! I really couldn’t care less.

She starts to write something furiously on the parchment in front of her.

INT. POTIONS CLASS (DAY)/GREAT HALL(AFTERNOON)/CORRIDOR(NIGHT)

The scene cuts to them in Potions class and as Slughorn paces the room Ron raises his hand mocking Hermione while Lavender laughs on. Hermione gets up and walks out of the room furiously. The scene then cuts to Ron and Lavender walking down the hall holding hands and we see Hermione standing the corner watching. She points her wand and dozens of SPIDERS appear on Ron who starts to Panic and run around helplessly. Hermione smiles and walks off and the scene slowly fades to

Harry walking down the hallway himself reading his potions book. BAM he walks into Ginny who just came from around the corner.

HARRY
Ginny…sorry…I was reading….

GINNY
That book has to have dark magic to it if you’re actually reading it.

HARRY
It’s just interesting…some of the things the Prince has to say.

GINNY
Well I’m on my way to the Common Room do you mind the company.

HARRY
No not at all!

GINNY
So Ron and Hermione….

HARRY
Not talking and it’s driving me mad. They keep trying to get revenge on each other so I’m staying out of it.

GINNY
Well Harry, you need to be careful. There are a lot of girls out to get you.

HARRY
Oh Ginny what would Dean say?

GINNY
(Laughs)
I’m talking about Romilda Vane. I was in the girl’s bathroom just before I came here and I overheard her talking to her friends. They’re hoping you’re going to take them to Slughorn’s party, and they all seem to have bought Fred and George’s love potions. I’d just invite someone to go with if I were you.

HARRY
There isn’t anyone I want to invite except…..

He looks over at Ginny but clears his throat and looks straight ahead again.

GINNY
Well just be careful what you drink.

INT-MOVING STAIRWAY-SECONDS LATER

They walk up the staircases and Harry see’s Hermione running towards him holding a piece of parchment.

HERMIONE
Hi Ginny, Harry…listen I’ve found something that might be of some interest.

GINNY
You two talk…I’ll see you around…

She waves and walks ahead and Harry sighs and follows Hermione into a hallway.

HARRY
What is it did you find something on Horcruxes?

HERMIONE
That’s exactly it; I can’t find anything on it. I’ve been right through the restricted section and even the most horrible books have nothing. All I could find was this. It was in the introduction to Magik Moste Evile. Of the Horcrux, wickedest of magical inventions, we shall not speak nor give direction…

HARRY
Well why put in there at all?

HERMIONE
Well Slughorn’s party is coming up so I’m sure you can get a word in there.

They begin to walk again towards the common room.

HARRY
Hang on, Ginny just told me girls have snuck love potions into the school. I thought Filch banned anything bought at Weasleys’ Wizard Wheezes? How come these girls are able to bring love potions into school?

HERMIONE
Fred and George send them disguised as perfumes and cough potions.

HARRY
So if these girls are getting stuff into the school disguised as something else, why wouldn’t Malfoy have…?

HERMIONE
Oh Harry please, not that again. Secrecy Sensors detect jinxes, curses, and concealment charms. They’re used to find Dark Magic and Dark objects. Love potions aren’t Dark or dangerous…

HARRY
Easy for you to say…

INT. GRYFFINDOR COMMON ROOM-MOMENTS LATER

They walk into the common room and immediately Romilda Vane runs towards Harry holdings a few items.

ROMILDA
Hi Harry! Fancy a gillywater?

HARRY
No thanks; I don’t like it much.

ROMILDA
Well, take these anyway

She thrusts a box into his hands of candy into his hands.

ROMILDA
Chocolate Cauldrons, they’ve got firewhisky in them. My gran sent them to me, but I don’t like them.

HARRY
Oh, thanks a lot.

Romilda smiles and walks back to her group of giggling friends

HERMIONE
Pathetic what some girls would do for a boy.

Phrozenone March 31st, 2008 12:22 am

Re: Fan Scripts: Script your own version of Harry Potter
 
hmmm..I guess no one has anything to say for that one huh :lol:

Well I just wanted to say I made an error or sorts. There's something I wanted to do earlier but I completly forgot but I'll figure out a way to work in it. I will possibly be adding the next section on tonight hopefully..just curious on what people think about the last section before I move on so come on people :p

lcbaseball22 March 31st, 2008 2:40 am

Re: Fan Scripts: Script your own version of Harry Potter
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by Phrozenone (Post 4973764)
hmmm..I guess no one has anything to say for that one huh :lol:

Well I just wanted to say I made an error or sorts. There's something I wanted to do earlier but I completly forgot but I'll figure out a way to work in it. I will possibly be adding the next section on tonight hopefully..just curious on what people think about the last section before I move on so come on people :p

Actually, I do have some things to say.

I just have to read it over again. I'll edit this once I've had time to analyze it! :tu:

EDIT

Ok, here goes, first the GOOD:

Quote:

INT. BOYS DORM-HOURS LATER-NIGHT

The only light in the room is the tip of Harry’s wand. The camera cuts to show him reading out of his Advanced Potions Book. The camera shows the writing in the book as Harry’s wand slowly goes down the page looking at them.

HARRY
Strange…it looks like the prince made up his own spells.

Harry continues to read and waves his wand a BAM there is a flash of light and a CRASH. Neville, Seamus, and Dean all jump up as the camera turns to show Ron hanging upside down screaming.

RON
Get me down!! Get me down!!!

Neville, Dean, and Seamus all laugh

HARRY
Oh..um…sorry Ron. Hang on…I’ll let you down… let me find the counter-curse!

He grabs for his book and looks through the pages. He drops the book and points the wand at Ron. There’s a flash of light and Ron falls to his mattress.

HARRY
Sorry about that….was just trying out one of the prince non verbal spells.

RON
(In an exhausted voice)
Tomorrow, I’d rather you set the alarm clock.
This part was BRILLIANT. I really do hope they keep Levicorpus in HBP (even though it was in OOTP, but it also wasn't show correctly) and It would work great the way you have done it. Just simply keep the spell "Ambiguous" and don't show which one he is reading or have him speak it (it is non-verbal so this shouldn't be a problem) at the time he casts the spell. BRILLIANT!!! :tu: :tu: :tu:

Oh, we had a bit of a discussion on the HBP thread about non-verbal spells, do you think they will be included??? We came to the conclusion that because they never had the IMPORTANCE we THOUGHT they would, they'd be an EASY CUT! This came up while discussing the 1st DADA class scene! IF we only get ONE DADA scene, we said we'd rather have the OTHER DADA scene because it explains INFERI while the 1st only discusses non-verbal spells!

Quote:

GINNY
It looks like he’s eating her face, but I suppose he’s got to refine his technique somehow huh?

Harry looks at Ron in amazement and Ginny walks off to join Dean. At this moment Hermione walks into the room and pauses as she notices Ron and Lavender kissing. She pauses for a second before she turns and walks out. Harry runs after her.

INT-CLASSROOM-NIGHT (MOMENTS LATER)

Harry walks into the classroom where Hermione is sitting alone. She has a small ring of yellow birds circling her head.

HARRY
Hermione?

HERMIONE
Oh, hello Harry. I was just practicing.

HARRY
They’re really good.

HERMIONE
Ron seems to be enjoying himself….

HARRY
Does he?

HERMIONE
Don’t pretend you didn’t see him. He wasn’t exactly hiding it was he?

HARRY
Hermione….

Before he could finish his statement the door opens and Ron and Lavender run in holding hands and laughing.

RON
Oh….

LAVENDER
Oops

She laughs, kisses Ron, and backs out of the room slowly closing the door behind her. There is an awkward silence. Hermione is staring at Ron who is just looking at Harry.

RON
Hi, Harry! Wondered where you’d got to!

HERMIONE
Well Ron? Is there something you have to tell me?

RON
I don’t have to explain anything to you. Why don’t you run off with your dear sweet McLaggen.

HARRY
Ron….

Hermione stands up suddenly looking the angriest she’s looked in a long time. The birds start to circle around her head faster now.

HERMIONE
You shouldn’t leave Lavender waiting outside.

RON
Yeah…well…I won’t….

HERMIONE
Good…..Oppugno!!!

She points her wand at Ron and the birds all sped towards Ron and start pecking and clawing at him. He starts to scream and try and get them out of his face. He runs out of the room and past Lavender who shoots Hermione an angry look before running after them. Hermione smiles a little and walks away from Harry who has a look of shock on his face. The scene cuts to
I'm really glad you kept this part. I thought the "it looks like he's eating her face" was hysterical in the book. I also like the birds attacking Ron and I believe this has sort-of been confirmed by the NICK magazine article to be in the film.

Quote:

GINNY
Well Harry, you need to be careful. There are a lot of girls out to get you.

HARRY
Oh Ginny what would Dean say?

GINNY
(Laughs)
I’m talking about Romilda Vane. I was in the girl’s bathroom just before I came here and I overheard her talking to her friends. They’re hoping you’re going to take them to Slughorn’s party, and they all seem to have bought Fred and George’s love potions. I’d just invite someone to go with if I were you.

HARRY
There isn’t anyone I want to invite except…..

He looks over at Ginny but clears his throat and looks straight ahead again.

GINNY
Well just be careful what you drink.
This was also BRILLIANT!!! I like how you switched it from Hermione relaying the info to Ginny. You really are doing a WONDERFUL job at the romance part and HINTING! I like the "Oh Ginny, what would Dean say?" and the looks over at Ginny when thinking of who to invite. :tu:


Ok, now the BAD:

When they go down to Hagrid's I noticed you left out this part, which I really liked, especially the wisecracks:

Quote:

"I'm a teacher!" he roared at Harry. "A teacher, Potter! How dare yeh threaten ter break down my door!"

I'm sorry, sir," said Harry, emphasizing the last word as he stowed his wand inside his robes. Hagrid looked stunned. "Since when have yeh called me 'sir'?"

"Since when have you called me 'Potter'?" "Oh, very clever," growled Hagrid. "Very amusin'. That's me outsmarted, innint?
Quote:

INT. HOGWARTS-THE ROOM OF REQUIREMENT

The scene then cuts to Ginny standing in front of the mirror in the ROOM OF REQUIREMENT. Harry slowly walks up behind her as she turns around and smiles at him.

GINNY
You’re a good teacher Harry.

HARRY
Ginny?

She looks up and above them a mistletoe is forming.

GINNY
Mistletoe.

Harry has a look of pure confusion on his face. Why does this seem so familiar?

HARRY
Probably full of nargles….

GINNY
What are nargles?

HARRY
No idea….

He slowly goes in to kiss Ginny getting closer and closer….

DUMBLEDORE
(Offscreen)
Harry?
NO, NO, NO :no: Sorry, I just thought this was REALLY CHEESY! I realize now that it's a DREAM and at first I was like "WHAT THE ****" as I was reading it, but still, I don't like it.


Instead I would suggest adding the DREAMS of Harry kissing Ginny instead of Dean as it was in the book after this part:

Quote:

They turn another corner and see Ginny and Dean kissing.

RON
What the…

Dean and Ginny both stop kissing and look up. Dean looks embarrassed but Ginny seems a little annoyed.

GINNY
What?

RON
I don’t want to find my own sister snogging people in public.

GINNY
It was an empty corridor until you showed up!

DEAN
C’mon Ginny lets go…

GINNY
Stop telling me what to do Dean! You go, I want a word with my dear brother!

Dean gives a weak smile at Harry and Ron and leaves. Ginny walks up to Ron furious.

GINNY
Lets get this straight once and for all. It is none of your business who I go out with or what I do with them, Ron…

RON
Yeah, it is! D’you think I want people saying my sister’s a…

GINNY
A what exactly?

HARRY
He doesn’t mean anything, Ginny…

GINNY
Oh yes he does! Just because he’s never snogged anyone in his life, just because the best kiss he’s ever had is from our Auntie Muriel…

RON
Shut your mouth!

GINNY
No, I will not! If you went out and got a bit of snogging done yourself, you wouldn’t mind so much that everyone else does it!

Ron pulls his wand out and Harry quickly jumps between the two of them.

RON
You don’t know what you’re talking about! Just because I don’t do it in public!!

GINNY
Oh come off it Ron! Or have you got a picture of Auntie Muriel stashed under your pillow?

A streak of orange light flies from his wand and BANG! It hits the wall beside Ginny’s head. Harry quickly takes Ron by his robes and pins him up against the wall.

HARRY
Don’t be stupid…

GINNY
Harry’s snogged Cho Chang and Hermione snogged Victor Krum, it’s only you who acts like it’s something disgusting, Ron, and that’s because you’ve got as much experience of a six year old!

She turns around and storms off. Harry lets go of Ron who straightens him robes and puts his wand away.

RON
Who does she think she is?

HARRY
Ron calm down….
Here's how it was in the book, although I'm sure you already know this:

Quote:

But unbidden into his mind came an image of that same deserted corridor with himself kissing Ginny instead...The monster in his chest purred... but then he saw Ron ripping open the tapestry curtain and drawing his wand on Harry, shouting things like "betrayal of trust"... "supposed to be my friend"...
I like the underlined part and I think that would work well in a daydream of Harry wanting to be the one kissing Ginny instead of Dean and it gets in the part about Ron being brotherly and Harry worried about what Ron would say!


Phrozenone, I'm curious what did you think of my Timestamps for DH and HBP??? Also where do you want DH split???

If you reply send this by OWL


Here's the pages for the timestamps if you haven't seen them:

HBP: link

DH (PART 2): link (The OUTLINE is at the BOTTOM of the Post)

(There's also some interesting things on Time per Chapter for each Split Point as well as timings for OOTP)

DH (Camping and Godric's Hollow): link

I'd APPRECIATE some feedback on these and I'm especially curious how my HBP times COMPARE with your script Phrozenone.

Thanks and keep up the GREAT WORK.

ArryGrotter April 8th, 2008 6:30 am

Re: Fan Scripts: Script your own version of Harry Potter
 
I haven't posted on this thread for years it feels like.

To Phrozenone, MoD, lcbaseball, I have been reading all the scripts, just not been making time for replies. Thanks for not making this thread die BTW.

Anyway, I finally put a bit more onto my PS which I'm proud of, it include parts of which I'd had pre-written for a while now:

New part of PS:    


  
PS: The Potions MasterINT. GRYFFINDOR BOY’S DORMITORY - HOGWARTS - LATE EVENING
(1/9/1991)

Harry fall’s in a uncomfortable sleep.

INT. GREAT HALL - HOGWARTS
(DREAM)

Harry sits on the sorting stool, wearing Professor Quirrell’s turban, which speaks to him.

SORTING HAT/VOLDERMORT
For Slytherin will help you on the way to greatness, no doubt about that: It’s your destiny.

Harry tries to pull the turban off, but it won’t come off. Malfoy’s face appears at Slytherin table, laughing.

And suddenly Proffesor Snape is looking at him with a look of hatred and a flash of green light fills the screen.

INT. GRYFFINDOR BOY’S DORMITORY - HOGWARTS - LATE EVENING
(1/9/1991)

Harry wakes up, turns then falls back to sleep.

STUDENT 1 (O.S.)
There, look.

STUDENT 2 (O.S.)
Where?

INT. FIRST FLOOR - HOGWARTS - MORNING
(2/9/1991)

STUDENT 1
Next to the tall kid with the red hair.

STUDENT 2
Wearing the glasses?

STUDENT 1
Did you see his face?

STUDENT 2
Did you see his scar?

Harry and Ron come around the corner, Harry dodging starers, but Ron quite proud that people are looking their way.

INT. HISTORY OF MAGIC CLASS

…Professor Cuthbert Binns, a ghost, who is droning on and on. Every one of the Gryffindor first years are bored, except Hermione, who is listening to every word. Once again, the camera pans and fades to…

INT. GREENHOUSE ONE

…Professor Pomona Sprout who is showing the Gryffindor first years and 10 other 11-year-olds (Hufflepuffs: Ernie MacMillian, Justin Finch-Fletchley, Hannah Abbot, Susan Bones, Wayne Hopkins, Megan Jones, 2 extra boys and 2 extra girls) a magical plant. Again, the camera pans and fades to…

EXT. ASTRONOMY TOWER - HOGWARTS - MIDNIGHT

The Gryffindor first-years look through telescopes. The Astronomy Professor, Aurora Sinistra overlooks them. The camera pans and fades to…

INT. CHARMS CLASS
…Professor Filius Flitwick, an incredibly short man, is taking the roll of his first year Gryffindor class.

FILIUS FLITWICK
Harry Potter

…he says in an ordinary voice, then suddenly looks up at Harry and topples out of sight. The camera pans and fades, again, to…

INT. TRANSFIGURATION CLASS

…Professor Minerva McGonagall is lecturing her class of Gryffindor first years.

MINERVA MCGONAGALL
Transfiguration is some of the most complex and dangerous magic you will learn at Hogwarts. Anyone messing around in my class will leave and not come back. You have been warned.

And she swiftly turns her desk into a pig and back again. Everyone one in the class looks at each other, amazed. But the camera pans and fades to…

INT. DEFENSE AGAINST THE DARK ARTS CLASS

…Professor Quirenius Quirrell is stuttering to his class of first year Gryffindors, turban still on.

QUIRENIUS QUIRRELL
M-My tur-turban was a tha-ank-ank-you gift for-or warding off the-the trouble-le-lesome Infe-fe-feri.

Quirrell looks down at his notes.

SEAMUS FINNIGAN
And how did you get rid of the zombie?

Quirrell seems to be in a panic.

QUIRENIUS QUIRRELL
It’s – It’s – It’s a love-lovely d-d-day today.

For the last time, the camera pans and fades to…

INT. POTIONS DUNGEON

…pickled animals in jars on shelves. We find Severus Snape surveying his class of Gryffindor first-years and Slytherin first-years (Millicent Bulstrode, Vincent Crabbe, Tracey Davis, Gregory Goyle, Daphne Greengrass, Draco Malfoy, Theodore Nott, Pansy Parkinson, Blaise Zabini, and another girl). He pauses and looks straight at Harry.

SEVERUS SNAPE
Ah. Yes. Harry Potter. Our new - celebrity

A few s******.

SEVERUS SNAPE (CONT’D)
You are here to learn the subtle science and exact art of potionmaking. I don't expect you will really understand the beauty of the softly simmering cauldron with its shimmering fumes, the delicate power of liquids that creep through human veins, bewitching the mind, ensnaring the senses.
(pause)
I can teach you how to bottle fame, brew glory, even stopper death - if you aren't as big a lot of dunderheads as I usually have to teach.

Hermione sits more upright at this. Snape surveys the class.

SEVERUS SNAPE (CONT’D)
Potter! What would I get if I added powdered root of asphodel to an infusion of wormwood?

Harry looks around stumped. Hermione’s hand flies into the air.

HARRY POTTER
I don’t know sir.

SEVERUS SNAPE
Tut, tut - fame clearly isn't everything. Let's try again. Potter, where would you look if I told you to find me a bezoar?

Hermione stretches her arm further.

HARRY POTTER
I don’t know, sir.

SEVERUS SNAPE
What is the difference, Potter, between monkshood and wolfsbane?

Hermione now stands up and waves her hand around.

HARRY POTTER
I don't know. I think Hermione does, though, why don't you try her?

Snape finally notices Hermione.

SEVERUS SNAPE
Sit down! For your information, Potter, asphodel and wormwood make a sleeping potion so powerful it is known as the Draught of Living Death. A bezoar is a stone taken from the stomach of a goat and it will save you from most poisons. As for monkshood and wolfsbane, they are the same plant, which also goes by the name of aconite. Well? Why aren't you all copying that down?

Everyone grabs quills and begins to write.

SEVERUS SNAPE (CONT’D)
And five points will be taken from Gryffindor House for your cheek, Potter.

Harry and Snape lock eyes.

INT. HEADMASTER’S OFFICE - HOGWARTS - AFTERNOON

Snape storms around the room.

SEVERUS SNAPE
...mediocre ... arrogant as his father, a determined rule-breaker ... delighted to find himself famous ... attention-seeking and impertinent -

Dumbledore is sitting at his desk reading ‘Transfiguration Today’, not even noticing Snape break a few of the odd instruments which lie on nearby tables.

ALBUS DUMBLEDORE
You see what you expect to see, Severus. Other teachers report that the boy is modest, likable, and reasonably talented.

Snape looks angered at this.
  


Phrozenone April 10th, 2008 10:45 pm

Re: Fan Scripts: Script your own version of Harry Potter
 
I'm not ready to post the next section yet..BUT I think it's only fair for me to comment on a few things....

Quote:

Originally Posted by lcbaseball22 (Post 4973912)
Actually, I do have some things to say.

I just have to read it over again. I'll edit this once I've had time to analyze it! :tu:

EDIT

Ok, here goes, first the GOOD:



This part was BRILLIANT. I really do hope they keep Levicorpus in HBP (even though it was in OOTP, but it also wasn't show correctly) and It would work great the way you have done it. Just simply keep the spell "Ambiguous" and don't show which one he is reading or have him speak it (it is non-verbal so this shouldn't be a problem) at the time he casts the spell. BRILLIANT!!! :tu: :tu: :tu:

Oh, we had a bit of a discussion on the HBP thread about non-verbal spells, do you think they will be included??? We came to the conclusion that because they never had the IMPORTANCE we THOUGHT they would, they'd be an EASY CUT! This came up while discussing the 1st DADA class scene! IF we only get ONE DADA scene, we said we'd rather have the OTHER DADA scene because it explains INFERI while the 1st only discusses non-verbal spells!



I'm really glad you kept this part. I thought the "it looks like he's eating her face" was hysterical in the book. I also like the birds attacking Ron and I believe this has sort-of been confirmed by the NICK magazine article to be in the film.



This was also BRILLIANT!!! I like how you switched it from Hermione relaying the info to Ginny. You really are doing a WONDERFUL job at the romance part and HINTING! I like the "Oh Ginny, what would Dean say?" and the looks over at Ginny when thinking of who to invite. :tu:[/b]

Well thanks for all that :lol: I really wanted to keep the spell in just to show the Prince made up spells and I thought that would be the quickest and easiest way of throwing it in there.

Also I see why you would want one DADA class...BUT I'm having atleast 2 in mine just so there's more Snape in the film. He's not in the book much except for the classes plus nonverbal spells I think should atleast be mentioned but I hear what u guys are saying.

Having Ginny tell Harry that was one of my more brilliant idea's. I just thought it'll give her more to do. Also it works since I've introduced Horcruxes MUCH earlier than the book so it makes sense that Hermione if off looking for them around this time.

Quote:

Ok, now the BAD:

When they go down to Hagrid's I noticed you left out this part, which I really liked, especially the wisecracks:
Yeah well putting those wisecracks in would mean introducing the whole plot of them not picking to retake Hagrid's class. I had that in my first draft (one that will never see the light of day :lol:) and I just thought that whole thing really felt...awkward. They haven't made a big deal about him teaching since the 3rd film so I thought it'll be best to leave it out.

Quote:

NO, NO, NO :no: Sorry, I just thought this was REALLY CHEESY! I realize now that it's a DREAM and at first I was like "WHAT THE ****" as I was reading it, but still, I don't like it.
hahahaha I was expecting that type of reaction. I know what was in the book..and I hear what you're saying...and this is just the first of other daydreams and the next one WILL have Ron in it actually. I just thought it'll be cool that Harry replaced Cho and kinda wished he'd saved his first kiss for Ginny :lol: Plus...as I told MoD...there has to be SOME cheese in the script or it wouldn't be Harry Potter :lol:

Also I saw in the HBP thread that u wasn't sure what to think about the Dumbledore/Harry conversation about Ginny. That scene actually has quiet a few things going on that I was hoping you picked up on. I'm writing this as a Part 1 or Deathly Hallows (Notice how I showed Malfoy Manor on the cover on the Daily Prophet....just trying to throw little things in there.)

I wrote that scene really to show a slight glimpse of Dumbledore's feelings towards Grindewald and I wanted Dumbledore and Harry to be a little closer this time around. Plus it was also an instance where Harry could've really asked Dumbledore more about himself...but he didn't...which he will come to regret later as we all know.

I just think...especially Dumbledore knowing his fate...that he would have moments where he reflected on his life..regardless on who's around. I really like that scene so reread just that portion with that in mind and hopefully you'll like it better

Quote:

Originally Posted by ArryGrotter (Post 4983990)
I haven't posted on this thread for years it feels like.

To Phrozenone, MoD, lcbaseball, I have been reading all the scripts, just not been making time for replies. Thanks for not making this thread die BTW.

Anyway, I finally put a bit more onto my PS which I'm proud of, it include parts of which I'd had pre-written for a while now:

New part of PS:    


  
PS: The Potions MasterINT. GRYFFINDOR BOY’S DORMITORY - HOGWARTS - LATE EVENING
(1/9/1991)

Harry fall’s in a uncomfortable sleep.

INT. GREAT HALL - HOGWARTS
(DREAM)

Harry sits on the sorting stool, wearing Professor Quirrell’s turban, which speaks to him.

SORTING HAT/VOLDERMORT
For Slytherin will help you on the way to greatness, no doubt about that: It’s your destiny.

Harry tries to pull the turban off, but it won’t come off. Malfoy’s face appears at Slytherin table, laughing.

And suddenly Proffesor Snape is looking at him with a look of hatred and a flash of green light fills the screen.

INT. GRYFFINDOR BOY’S DORMITORY - HOGWARTS - LATE EVENING
(1/9/1991)

Harry wakes up, turns then falls back to sleep.

STUDENT 1 (O.S.)
There, look.

STUDENT 2 (O.S.)
Where?

INT. FIRST FLOOR - HOGWARTS - MORNING
(2/9/1991)

STUDENT 1
Next to the tall kid with the red hair.

STUDENT 2
Wearing the glasses?

STUDENT 1
Did you see his face?

STUDENT 2
Did you see his scar?

Harry and Ron come around the corner, Harry dodging starers, but Ron quite proud that people are looking their way.

INT. HISTORY OF MAGIC CLASS

…Professor Cuthbert Binns, a ghost, who is droning on and on. Every one of the Gryffindor first years are bored, except Hermione, who is listening to every word. Once again, the camera pans and fades to…

INT. GREENHOUSE ONE

…Professor Pomona Sprout who is showing the Gryffindor first years and 10 other 11-year-olds (Hufflepuffs: Ernie MacMillian, Justin Finch-Fletchley, Hannah Abbot, Susan Bones, Wayne Hopkins, Megan Jones, 2 extra boys and 2 extra girls) a magical plant. Again, the camera pans and fades to…

EXT. ASTRONOMY TOWER - HOGWARTS - MIDNIGHT

The Gryffindor first-years look through telescopes. The Astronomy Professor, Aurora Sinistra overlooks them. The camera pans and fades to…

INT. CHARMS CLASS
…Professor Filius Flitwick, an incredibly short man, is taking the roll of his first year Gryffindor class.

FILIUS FLITWICK
Harry Potter

…he says in an ordinary voice, then suddenly looks up at Harry and topples out of sight. The camera pans and fades, again, to…

INT. TRANSFIGURATION CLASS

…Professor Minerva McGonagall is lecturing her class of Gryffindor first years.

MINERVA MCGONAGALL
Transfiguration is some of the most complex and dangerous magic you will learn at Hogwarts. Anyone messing around in my class will leave and not come back. You have been warned.

And she swiftly turns her desk into a pig and back again. Everyone one in the class looks at each other, amazed. But the camera pans and fades to…

INT. DEFENSE AGAINST THE DARK ARTS CLASS

…Professor Quirenius Quirrell is stuttering to his class of first year Gryffindors, turban still on.

QUIRENIUS QUIRRELL
M-My tur-turban was a tha-ank-ank-you gift for-or warding off the-the trouble-le-lesome Infe-fe-feri.

Quirrell looks down at his notes.

SEAMUS FINNIGAN
And how did you get rid of the zombie?

Quirrell seems to be in a panic.

QUIRENIUS QUIRRELL
It’s – It’s – It’s a love-lovely d-d-day today.

For the last time, the camera pans and fades to…

INT. POTIONS DUNGEON

…pickled animals in jars on shelves. We find Severus Snape surveying his class of Gryffindor first-years and Slytherin first-years (Millicent Bulstrode, Vincent Crabbe, Tracey Davis, Gregory Goyle, Daphne Greengrass, Draco Malfoy, Theodore Nott, Pansy Parkinson, Blaise Zabini, and another girl). He pauses and looks straight at Harry.

SEVERUS SNAPE
Ah. Yes. Harry Potter. Our new - celebrity

A few s******.

SEVERUS SNAPE (CONT’D)
You are here to learn the subtle science and exact art of potionmaking. I don't expect you will really understand the beauty of the softly simmering cauldron with its shimmering fumes, the delicate power of liquids that creep through human veins, bewitching the mind, ensnaring the senses.
(pause)
I can teach you how to bottle fame, brew glory, even stopper death - if you aren't as big a lot of dunderheads as I usually have to teach.

Hermione sits more upright at this. Snape surveys the class.

SEVERUS SNAPE (CONT’D)
Potter! What would I get if I added powdered root of asphodel to an infusion of wormwood?

Harry looks around stumped. Hermione’s hand flies into the air.

HARRY POTTER
I don’t know sir.

SEVERUS SNAPE
Tut, tut - fame clearly isn't everything. Let's try again. Potter, where would you look if I told you to find me a bezoar?

Hermione stretches her arm further.

HARRY POTTER
I don’t know, sir.

SEVERUS SNAPE
What is the difference, Potter, between monkshood and wolfsbane?

Hermione now stands up and waves her hand around.

HARRY POTTER
I don't know. I think Hermione does, though, why don't you try her?

Snape finally notices Hermione.

SEVERUS SNAPE
Sit down! For your information, Potter, asphodel and wormwood make a sleeping potion so powerful it is known as the Draught of Living Death. A bezoar is a stone taken from the stomach of a goat and it will save you from most poisons. As for monkshood and wolfsbane, they are the same plant, which also goes by the name of aconite. Well? Why aren't you all copying that down?

Everyone grabs quills and begins to write.

SEVERUS SNAPE (CONT’D)
And five points will be taken from Gryffindor House for your cheek, Potter.

Harry and Snape lock eyes.

INT. HEADMASTER’S OFFICE - HOGWARTS - AFTERNOON

Snape storms around the room.

SEVERUS SNAPE
...mediocre ... arrogant as his father, a determined rule-breaker ... delighted to find himself famous ... attention-seeking and impertinent -

Dumbledore is sitting at his desk reading ‘Transfiguration Today’, not even noticing Snape break a few of the odd instruments which lie on nearby tables.

ALBUS DUMBLEDORE
You see what you expect to see, Severus. Other teachers report that the boy is modest, likable, and reasonably talented.

Snape looks angered at this.
  


ArryGrotter!! Well I'm glad to hear you've been keeping up and this is a great thread..why let it die :p I will read ur next section shortly and let u know what i think.

lcbaseball22 April 10th, 2008 11:24 pm

Re: Fan Scripts: Script your own version of Harry Potter
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by Phrozenone (Post 4986578)

Also I see why you would want one DADA class...BUT I'm having atleast 2 in mine just so there's more Snape in the film. He's not in the book much except for the classes plus nonverbal spells I think should atleast be mentioned but I hear what u guys are saying.

Ahh, you misunderstood me here. I'll post what I said on the HBP thread about this: :p

Quote:

Originally Posted by lcbaseball22 (Post 4971997)
Here's another discussion topic:

How much will SNAPE be in this film???

I really think because it's called HBP and it's essentialy a book focused on SNAPE (And Voldy), although more-so about the book than Snape himself, IMO he should be in EVERY one of HIS scenes from the book if possible which in order by Chapter would be:

-Spinner's End

-Snape Victorious (escorts Harry to the feast while criticizing him and finally conquers the DADA Post)
Quote:

"I suppose you wanted to make an entrance, did you?" Snape continued. "And with no flying car available you decided that bursting into the Great Hall halfway through the feast ought to create a dramatic effect."
-The Half Blood Prince (1st DADA class, "There's no need to call me 'sir', Professor")
I'm going to to be SO MAD if this dialogue isn't included (not to mention the ENTIRE DADA scene itself):
Quote:

"The Dark Arts, said Snape, "are many, varied, ever-changing, and eternal. Fighting them is like fighting a many-headed monster, which, each time a neck is servered, sprouts a head even fiercer and cleverer than before. You are fighting that which is unfixed, mutatating, and indestructible."

Harry stared at Snape. It was surely one thing to respect the Dark Arts as a dangerous enemy, another to speak of them, as Snape was doing, with a loving caress in his voice?
-The Unbreakable Vow (Slughorn's Christmas Party and chat with Draco)
Quote:

"What does it matter?" said Malfoy. "Defense Against the Dark Arts... it's all just a joke, isn't it, an act? Like any of us need protecting against the Dark Arts..."
"It is an act that is crucial to success, Draco!" said Snape. "Where do you think I would have been all these years, if I had not known how to act? Now listen to me! You are being incautious, wandering around at night, getting yourself caught, and if you are placing your reliance in assistants like Crabbe and Goyle..."
-The Unknowable Room (DADA class, Snape asks Harry the difference between Inferi and Ghosts :lol:)
This would be AWESOME TOO (It explains INFERI and it's HILARIOUS):
Quote:

"Let us ask Potter how we would tell the difference between an Inferius and a ghost."
"Er...well...ghosts are transparent..." he said.
"Oh, very good," interrupted Snape, his lip curling. "Yes, it is easy to see that nearly six years of magical education have not been wasted on you, Potter. 'Ghosts are transparent'"

Harry took a deep breath and continued calmly, though his insides were boiling, "Yeah, ghosts are transparent, but Inferi are dead bodies, aren't they? So they'd be solid..."
"A five-year old could have told us as much," sneered Snape.

"The Inferius is a corpse that has been reanimated by a Dark wizard's spells. It is not alive, is is merely used like a puppet to do the wizard's bidding. A ghost, as I trust that you are alll aware by now, is the imprint of a departed soul left upon the earth... and of course, as Potter so wisely tells us, transparent."

"Well, what Harry said is the most useful if we're trying to tell them apart!" said Ron. "When we come face to face with one down a dark alley, we're going to be having a shufti to see if it's solid, aren't we, we're not going to be asking, 'Excuse me, are you the imprint of a departed soul?'"
:lol: :lol: :rotfl: :rotfl: :lol: :lol:

-Sectumsempra
Quote:

"Apparently I underestimated you, Potter," he said quietly. "Who would have though you knew such Dark Magic? Who taught you that spell?"
Quote:

"This is your copy of Advanced Potion-Making, is it, Potter?"
"Yes," said Harry, still breathing hard.
"This is the copy that you purchased from Flourish and Blotts?"
"Yes," said Harry firmly.
"Then why," asked Snape, "does it have the name 'Roonil Wazlib' written on the front cover?"
:lol: :lol: :lol:

-Lightening Stuck Tower

-Flight of the Prince
Quote:

“Blocked again and again and again until you learn to keep your mouth shut and your mind closed, Potter! sneered Snape, deflecting the curse once more.

“You dare use my own spells against me, Potter? It was I who invented them… I the Half Blood Prince! And you’d turn my inventions on me, like your filthy father, would you?”

So, Snape/Alan Rickman SHOULD HAVE MANY scenes in HBP (Or at least more than any other HP film)!!! We can only HOPE! :tu:


Do you think we will GET BOTH DADA SCENES??? :drool: :drool: :drool: I'm guessing they'll go the OTHER route and give us MULTIPLE POTIONS, though!

I really want BOTH, they are so FUNNY and CLEVER!!!


Quote:

Originally Posted by lcbaseball22 (Post 4972808)
So, if we only get ONE DADA Scene, Which do you PREFER???:

Like I said, I'm guessing we will get MULTIPLE POTIONS instead of DADA! :sigh:

How many times is POTIONS class in the book??? *off to look it up*

-The Half Blood Prince (1st DADA class, "There's no need to call me 'sir', Professor")

OR

-The Unknowable Room (DADA class, It explains INFERI and it's HILARIOUS):

:lol: :rotfl: :lol:


My Choice would the 2nd, because it explains Inferi. But I really want the "There's no need to call me sir, Professor" TOO. :drool:

It's a TOUGH CHOICE, I just HOPE Kloves thinks these scenes are as GREAT as we do!!! :tu:


Quote:

Originally Posted by lcbaseball22 (Post 4972878)

Well, that's kind-of what I was GETTING AT, is that it never played the IMPORTANCE that I thought it would so I was wondering if it would be included???

It always seemed that JKR had A REASON for EVERYTHING but this not so much.

More of just an intersting tidbit, that POWERFUL wizards can perform non-verbal magic!

Oh, and it EXPLAINED Dolohov almost KILLING HERMIONE when he was SILENCIOED, but that wasn't in the MOVIE!




Quote:

Originally Posted by Phrozenone (Post 4986578)

Yeah well putting those wisecracks in would mean introducing the whole plot of them not picking to retake Hagrid's class. I had that in my first draft (one that will never see the light of day :lol:) and I just thought that whole thing really felt...awkward. They haven't made a big deal about him teaching since the 3rd film so I thought it'll be best to leave it out.

GOOD POINT!!! :tu: OK, I AGREE, leave it out. That would take up A LOT of wasted time to introduce that plot when we have more important things like the Memories.



Quote:

Originally Posted by Phrozenone (Post 4986578)

hahahaha I was expecting that type of reaction. I know what was in the book..and I hear what you're saying...and this is just the first of other daydreams and the next one WILL have Ron in it actually. I just thought it'll be cool that Harry replaced Cho and kinda wished he'd saved his first kiss for Ginny :lol: Plus...as I told MoD...there has to be SOME cheese in the script or it wouldn't be Harry Potter

Also I saw in the HBP thread that u wasn't sure what to think about the Dumbledore/Harry conversation about Ginny. That scene actually has quiet a few things going on that I was hoping you picked up on. I'm writing this as a Part 1 or Deathly Hallows (Notice how I showed Malfoy Manor on the cover on the Daily Prophet....just trying to throw little things in there.)

I wrote that scene really to show a slight glimpse of Dumbledore's feelings towards Grindewald and I wanted Dumbledore and Harry to be a little closer this time around. Plus it was also an instance where Harry could've really asked Dumbledore more about himself...but he didn't...which he will come to regret later as we all know.

I just think...especially Dumbledore knowing his fate...that he would have moments where he reflected on his life..regardless on who's around. I really like that scene so reread just that portion with that in mind and hopefully you'll like it better

OK, I see where you're coming from. Still not sure if I like it, really caught me off guard when I was reading it the 1st time.

I like you're thinking with regretting his 1st Kiss was with Cho. It was funny though, when we discussed this on the HBP thread there was a comment that it was odd because that's not what teenage boys dream about!!! :evil:

And it wasn't even a guy who made this comment!!!

:lol::lol::lol:

I can just imagine the audience's reaction to this if it was really in the film though:

Like I said, WHAT THE **** !!! :err:

But I see where you're coming from (Good idea about DD too) and it's GROWING on me!!!

Also, you're right, it wouldn't be HARRY POTTER with some CHEESE :p

Phrozenone April 12th, 2008 2:24 am

Re: Fan Scripts: Script your own version of Harry Potter
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by ArryGrotter (Post 4983990)
I haven't posted on this thread for years it feels like.

To Phrozenone, MoD, lcbaseball, I have been reading all the scripts, just not been making time for replies. Thanks for not making this thread die BTW.

Anyway, I finally put a bit more onto my PS which I'm proud of, it include parts of which I'd had pre-written for a while now:

New part of PS:    


  
PS: The Potions MasterINT. GRYFFINDOR BOY’S DORMITORY - HOGWARTS - LATE EVENING
(1/9/1991)

Harry fall’s in a uncomfortable sleep.

INT. GREAT HALL - HOGWARTS
(DREAM)

Harry sits on the sorting stool, wearing Professor Quirrell’s turban, which speaks to him.

SORTING HAT/VOLDERMORT
For Slytherin will help you on the way to greatness, no doubt about that: It’s your destiny.

Harry tries to pull the turban off, but it won’t come off. Malfoy’s face appears at Slytherin table, laughing.

And suddenly Proffesor Snape is looking at him with a look of hatred and a flash of green light fills the screen.

INT. GRYFFINDOR BOY’S DORMITORY - HOGWARTS - LATE EVENING
(1/9/1991)

Harry wakes up, turns then falls back to sleep.

STUDENT 1 (O.S.)
There, look.

STUDENT 2 (O.S.)
Where?

INT. FIRST FLOOR - HOGWARTS - MORNING
(2/9/1991)

STUDENT 1
Next to the tall kid with the red hair.

STUDENT 2
Wearing the glasses?

STUDENT 1
Did you see his face?

STUDENT 2
Did you see his scar?

Harry and Ron come around the corner, Harry dodging starers, but Ron quite proud that people are looking their way.

INT. HISTORY OF MAGIC CLASS

…Professor Cuthbert Binns, a ghost, who is droning on and on. Every one of the Gryffindor first years are bored, except Hermione, who is listening to every word. Once again, the camera pans and fades to…

INT. GREENHOUSE ONE

…Professor Pomona Sprout who is showing the Gryffindor first years and 10 other 11-year-olds (Hufflepuffs: Ernie MacMillian, Justin Finch-Fletchley, Hannah Abbot, Susan Bones, Wayne Hopkins, Megan Jones, 2 extra boys and 2 extra girls) a magical plant. Again, the camera pans and fades to…

EXT. ASTRONOMY TOWER - HOGWARTS - MIDNIGHT

The Gryffindor first-years look through telescopes. The Astronomy Professor, Aurora Sinistra overlooks them. The camera pans and fades to…

INT. CHARMS CLASS
…Professor Filius Flitwick, an incredibly short man, is taking the roll of his first year Gryffindor class.

FILIUS FLITWICK
Harry Potter

…he says in an ordinary voice, then suddenly looks up at Harry and topples out of sight. The camera pans and fades, again, to…

INT. TRANSFIGURATION CLASS

…Professor Minerva McGonagall is lecturing her class of Gryffindor first years.

MINERVA MCGONAGALL
Transfiguration is some of the most complex and dangerous magic you will learn at Hogwarts. Anyone messing around in my class will leave and not come back. You have been warned.

And she swiftly turns her desk into a pig and back again. Everyone one in the class looks at each other, amazed. But the camera pans and fades to…

INT. DEFENSE AGAINST THE DARK ARTS CLASS

…Professor Quirenius Quirrell is stuttering to his class of first year Gryffindors, turban still on.

QUIRENIUS QUIRRELL
M-My tur-turban was a tha-ank-ank-you gift for-or warding off the-the trouble-le-lesome Infe-fe-feri.

Quirrell looks down at his notes.

SEAMUS FINNIGAN
And how did you get rid of the zombie?

Quirrell seems to be in a panic.

QUIRENIUS QUIRRELL
It’s – It’s – It’s a love-lovely d-d-day today.

For the last time, the camera pans and fades to…

INT. POTIONS DUNGEON

…pickled animals in jars on shelves. We find Severus Snape surveying his class of Gryffindor first-years and Slytherin first-years (Millicent Bulstrode, Vincent Crabbe, Tracey Davis, Gregory Goyle, Daphne Greengrass, Draco Malfoy, Theodore Nott, Pansy Parkinson, Blaise Zabini, and another girl). He pauses and looks straight at Harry.

SEVERUS SNAPE
Ah. Yes. Harry Potter. Our new - celebrity

A few s******.

SEVERUS SNAPE (CONT’D)
You are here to learn the subtle science and exact art of potionmaking. I don't expect you will really understand the beauty of the softly simmering cauldron with its shimmering fumes, the delicate power of liquids that creep through human veins, bewitching the mind, ensnaring the senses.
(pause)
I can teach you how to bottle fame, brew glory, even stopper death - if you aren't as big a lot of dunderheads as I usually have to teach.

Hermione sits more upright at this. Snape surveys the class.

SEVERUS SNAPE (CONT’D)
Potter! What would I get if I added powdered root of asphodel to an infusion of wormwood?

Harry looks around stumped. Hermione’s hand flies into the air.

HARRY POTTER
I don’t know sir.

SEVERUS SNAPE
Tut, tut - fame clearly isn't everything. Let's try again. Potter, where would you look if I told you to find me a bezoar?

Hermione stretches her arm further.

HARRY POTTER
I don’t know, sir.

SEVERUS SNAPE
What is the difference, Potter, between monkshood and wolfsbane?

Hermione now stands up and waves her hand around.

HARRY POTTER
I don't know. I think Hermione does, though, why don't you try her?

Snape finally notices Hermione.

SEVERUS SNAPE
Sit down! For your information, Potter, asphodel and wormwood make a sleeping potion so powerful it is known as the Draught of Living Death. A bezoar is a stone taken from the stomach of a goat and it will save you from most poisons. As for monkshood and wolfsbane, they are the same plant, which also goes by the name of aconite. Well? Why aren't you all copying that down?

Everyone grabs quills and begins to write.

SEVERUS SNAPE (CONT’D)
And five points will be taken from Gryffindor House for your cheek, Potter.

Harry and Snape lock eyes.

INT. HEADMASTER’S OFFICE - HOGWARTS - AFTERNOON

Snape storms around the room.

SEVERUS SNAPE
...mediocre ... arrogant as his father, a determined rule-breaker ... delighted to find himself famous ... attention-seeking and impertinent -

Dumbledore is sitting at his desk reading ‘Transfiguration Today’, not even noticing Snape break a few of the odd instruments which lie on nearby tables.

ALBUS DUMBLEDORE
You see what you expect to see, Severus. Other teachers report that the boy is modest, likable, and reasonably talented.

Snape looks angered at this.
  


Ok ArryGrotter a few comments:

Why are u showing all those classes? Time is money and are you really thinking of them hiring an actor...building the classroom set...just to show a shot of them in it and nothing more? I don't know if you plan on using these classes later on or not but for right now I don't think it's a good idea.

Although your script did make me realize that the first movie was the only film where we DIDN'T see a Defense Against the Dark Arts lesson...I think one should be included...but add a bit more to it if u can.

I'm not sure how I feel about that dream yet..but it is interesting there and those kids acting amazed to see Harry and Ron being happy about it is a nice touch.

Are you including scenes not from Harry's POV in this one? The scene with Snape and Dumbledore is interesting indeed.

So yeah the thing I think I dislike most off of this one is all those classes. Just show the classes where something happens if you want to show more of their school life but that's just imo. Can't wait to see more!

ArryGrotter April 12th, 2008 3:19 am

Re: Fan Scripts: Script your own version of Harry Potter
 
Thanks for the feedback. I mainly had the classes there for character establishment. Most of the classrooms would be used in the other movies (eg Astronomy Tower in HBP), so I thought I could use them now.

I think scenes not in Harry's POV are needed. The Snape/Dumbledore scene was taken from The Prince's Tale in DH, though I had to cut it before "Keep an eye on Quirell"

I do like the dream, but It'd probably one of the first things to go once I finish.

Phrozenone April 16th, 2008 12:45 pm

Re: Fan Scripts: Script your own version of Harry Potter
 
No problem Arry! :) Keep em coming buddy!

Until then it is now time for me to FINALLY post the next section. Once again you all will notice some changes and a certain character missing since we're not sure if he's in or not....but in his place I moved an event from the end of the book up because I thought it would work...let me know what you think.

Quote:

Hermione walks off towards her dormitory leaving Harry standing there with a look of confusing on his face. He shrugs and walks off as the screen cuts to Harry and Ron walking through the snow filled Transfiguration Courtyard.

EXT. HOGWARTS-TRANSFIGURATION COURTYARD-MIDDAY

RON
All this N.E.W.T. work is driving me mad! Finally we get free time in our schedule and we have to use it for schoolwork….then there’s Quidditch…and Lavender….

They pause as they notice PROFESSOR TRELAWNEY walking slowly down the hall sorting through what looked like dirty playing cards muttering to herself as she walks.

TRELAWNEY
Two of spades: conflict. Seven of spades: an ill omen. Ten of spades: violence. Knave of spades: a dark young man, possibly troubled, one who dislikes the questioner….
(She pauses)
No…that can’t be right….

She reshuffles the cards as she continues to walk not noticing any of the students around her.

RON
Are you sure Dumbledore said she was the one?

HARRY
Yep….

RON
I’d rather deal with Trelawney than Lavender sometimes. She won’t let me breathe….she even calls me this stupid nickname….

LAVENDER
(Offscreen)
WON WON!!!

Lavender runs into the shot and plants a big hug on Ron who gives an irritated look at Harry.

LAVENDER
Oh my gosh I have SO much to tell you. You won’t believe what Pervati told me…oh hi Harry….but yeah Pervati heard something about Hannah Abbott that you won’t believe.…hey will you hold my books Won Won? Let’s go for a walk…I’ll tell you everything…..

She grabs his arm and pulls him away from Harry who laughs as Ron mouths ‘Help Me’ as Lavender continues to talk as they walk down the hall. There is a tap on Harry’s shoulder and he turns around and notices Luna standing there smiling at him.

LUNA
Hiya Harry!

HARRY
Luna…hey…how have you been?

LUNA
Oh it’s been all right. A bit lonely without the D.A. Ginny’s been nice, though and I just ran into Hermione, she seems a bit upset. She said something about that Ron Weasley….

HARRY
Yeah, they’ve had a row.

LUNA
He says very funny things sometimes, doesn’t he?

HARRY
I suppose. Hey…Luna…how would you like to come to Slughorn’s party with me?

LUNA
(shocked)
Slughorn’s party? With you?

HARRY
Yeah. We’re supposed to bring guests, so I thought you might like…I mean just as friends, you know? But if you don’t want to…

LUNA
Oh, no, I’d love to go with you as friends! Nobody’s ever asked me to a party before, as a friend!

HARRY
That settles it then. I’ll meet you in the entrance hall at eight o’ clock then.

LUNA
I’ll see you then Harry!

Luna smiles and skips off and …

INT-THE GREAT HALL-EVENING

The scene cuts to them in the Great Hall where there are Christmas decorations set up and a few elves singing Christmas songs.

RON
You’re taking Loony Lovegood!

GINNY
Don’t call her that Ron! I’m really glad you’re taking her Harry, she’s so excited.

She walks over and sits with Dean and we see a shot of Hermione sitting down by herself at the end of the table. Parvati walks up to them.

PARVATI
Hi, Harry.

HARRY
Hey, you’re staying at Hogwarts then? I heard your parents wanted you to leave.

PARVATI
I managed to talk them out of it for the time being.
(Hermione walks past them.)
Oh, hi Hermione!

HERMIONE
Hi, Parvati! Are you going to Slughorn’s party tonight?

PARVATI
No invite, you’re going aren’t you?

HERMIONE
Yes, I’m meeting Cormac McLaggen at eight.

Ron coughs as if he just chocked on what he was eating and Hermione gives a slight smile at this reaction.

PARVATI
Oh really? Are you going out with him, then?

HERMIONE
Oh…yes…didn’t you know?

PARVATI
No! Wow, you like your Quidditch players don’t you? First Krum, then McLaggen…

HERMIONE
I like really good Quidditch players.

Ron frowns and furiously starts to eat his food as Hermione gives a slight smile and walks away. Harry notices Draco sitting at the Slytheran table looking pale and picking at his food.

INT. HOGWARTS-7TH FLOOR CORRIDOR-MOMENTS LATER

The scene cuts to Draco walking slowly down a hallway and the camera pans over to show Harry slowly following behind him. Draco looks over his shoulder before turning the corner. Harry waits a second and then follows. He turns the corner and BAM he runs into Crabbe and Goyle.

CRABBE
Where do you think you’re going Potter!

Harry tries to walk past them but they block his path. He looks past them and notice that Draco has already gone.

GOYLE
Problem Potter?

He stares at them for a moment and walks away. Crabbe and Goyle laugh as Harry turns the corner and the scene cuts to a shot of a blank piece of parchment. A wand is placed in the middle of the parchment.

HARRY
(Offscreen)
I solemnly swear that I am up to no good.

The parchments the reads MAURAUDERS MAP and Harry quickly opens it and starts to look through the numerous names that are on the map.

RON
What’s going on?

HARRY
I’m looking for Malfoy. Somethings up…I was trailing him after he left the Great Hall earlier but ran into Crabbe and Goyle….

RON
So?

HARRY
Ron he’s up to something…..

RON
Not this again Harry…..

HARRY
Yes Ron…and I can’t seem to find him on here…I see Crabbe and Goyle…but where’s Draco….

RON
Who knows. He could’ve taken a secret passage to Hogsmeade for all we know…just give it a rest…besides shouldn’t you be getting ready for Slughorn’s party thingy….can’t keep your date Loony waiting.

HARRY
Right….well…I think I’ll take my Invisibility Cloak with me…

RON
But…

HARRY
Just in case you know….

Ron just looks at Harry with a puzzled look on his face and the scene slowly fades to a shot of the corridor leading to Slughorns Office. Harry and Luna both walk into frame walking very slowly towards the door. They pause at the entrance and Harry takes a deep breathe.

HARRY
Well…shall we go in?

Luna nods and Harry opens the door.

INT. SLUGHORNS PARTY-NIGHT

The scene cuts to the inside of the party as Harry and Luna slowly walk through the door. The camera pans around to show the room is full of people. Fairies are fluttering around the ceiling and HOUSE ELVES are walking around carrying the dinner treys. Slughorn notices Harry and he excuses him self from the group of people he was talking to and walks quickly towards Harry with a booming smile on his face.

SLUGHORN
Harry, mboy!

HARRY
Evening sir….

SLUGHORN
And you’ve brought a date! Well come in, come in!!

HARRY
Sir when you have a moment there’s something I have to ask you….

SLUGHORN
In time Harry…there are so many people I’d like you to meet first!

Slughorn grabs Harry’s arm and pulls him towards the group he was just chatting with. Luna follows behind.

SLUGHORN
Harry, I’d like you to meet Eldred Worple, an old student of mine, author of Blood Brothers: My Life Amongst the Vampires…and, of couse, his friend Sanguini.

Harry shakes Eldred hand and notices that Sanguini was a vampire who licks his lips as he looks over to a group of girls giggling on the other side of the party.

WORPLE
Harry Potter! A pleasure it is!

HARRY
Pleasure sir….

WORPLE
I was saying to Professor Slughorn the other day ‘Where is the biography of Harry Potter!’ I would be delighted to write it myself….

He looks over and notices Sanguini behind one of those girls sniffing the back of her neck.

WORPLE
Excuse me….

He runs over and pulls Sanguini away as he opens his mouth to take a bite of the girls neck and drags him back.

WORPLE
Sanguini behave youself!

SANGUINI
Just a little nibble…..

Harry and Luna cast a look at each other and slowly back away as Sanguini, Worple, and Slughorn all continue to chat. Harry notices Hermione standing in the back corner of the room with a look of fear in her eyes. Harry walks over to her.

HARRY
Hermione?

HERMIONE
Harry! Thank goodness, Hi Luna!

HARRY
What happened to you?

HERMIONE
Oh, I’ve just escaped…I mean, I’ve just left Cormac. Under the mistletoe…

HARRY
Serves you right for coming with him.

HERMIONE
I thought he’d annoy Ron most. He makes Grawp look like a gentleman. Let’s go this way; we’ll be able to see him coming

The three of them walk across the room towards Professor Trelawney who seems to be a bit tipsy.

LUNA
Hello Professor.

TRELAWNY
Good evening, my dear. I haven’t seen you in my classes lately…

Harry turns to Hermione as Trelawney talks to Luna

HARRY
Not enjoying the party?

HERMIONE
You think? I mean look Slughorn has elves serving the drinks and treats…I hope they’re getting paid for this.

HARRY
If you say so…..

HERMIONE
So have you got the chance to ask Slughorn about the Horcruxes yet?

HARRY
No he’s a bit busy. Hermione…..

Harry looks over and notices that Hermione has disappeared. He looks up and see’s Cormac walking towards him.

CORMAC
Potter!

HARRY
What do you want?

CORMAC
Hermione!
(Harry stares at him.)
I mean have you seen her?

HARRY
No, sorry.

Cormac gives Harry a slight frown and he turns around to Luna and Trelawney’s conversation.

TRELAWNY
Harry Potter! My dear boy! The rumors! The stories! The Chosen One! Of course, I have known for a very long time. Why have you not returned to Divination?

HARRY
Well…um…

Before he can answer Slughorn interrupts.

SLUGHORN
Harry m’boy are you avoiding me?

HARRY
No sir…

A small elf walks by carrying a tray with 4 classes.

TRELAWNEY
Do you mind if I take one?

She takes one glass and drinks it with one gulp. She then proceeds to quickly down the other 3 while Slughorn, Harry, and Luna look on. Once she finishes the elf just shakes it’s head and walks away.

SLUGHORN
So how are you Sybill?

TRELAWNY
Just fine thanks, just here wondering why Potter didn’t return to Divination, the subject is very important, especially for him.

SLUGHORN
We all think our subjects are important. But I don’t think I’ve ever known such a natural at Potions! Instinctive, you know….like his mother! I’ve only ever taught a few with this kind of ability, I can tell you that Sybill…why even Severus…

Slughorn looks around and notices Snape talking to a group of teachers, reaches out and grabs his arm.

SLUGHORN
Ahhh Severus! Come and join us!

Slughorn pulls Snape over to their circle. Snape gives Slughorn an irritated look as he readjusts his clothes.

SLUGHORN
Have I told you about Harry’s exceptional potion making? Some credit must go to you, of course, you taught him for five years!

SNAPE
Funny, I never had the impression that I managed to teach Potter anything at all.

SLUGHORN
Well, it’s natural ability. You should have seen what he gave me, first lesson, Draught of Living Death…not even you managed it on your first attempt Severus.

SNAPE
Really?

He casts a look at Harry who clears his throat and looks down.

SLUGHORN
What other subjects are you taking m’boy?

HARRY
Well…there’s Defense Against the Dark Arts, Charms, Transfiguration…

SNAPE
All the subjects required, in short for an Auror.

HARRY
Yeah, well, that’s what I want to do.

LUNA
I don’t think you should be an Auror Harry. They are a part of the Rotfang Conspiracy. They’re working to bring down the Ministry of Magic from within using a combination of Dark Magic and gum disease.

They all stare at her and we see Filch walk up holding Malfoy by the ear.

FILCH
Professor Slughorn, I discovered this boy lurking in an upstairs corridor. He claims to have been invited to your party and to have been delayed in setting out?

MALFOY
All right, I wasn’t invited! I was trying to gatecrash, happy?

FILCH
No, I’m not! You’re in trouble, you are!

SLUGHORN
That’s all right, Argus. It’s Christmas, and it’s not a crime to want to come to a party. We’ll forget any punishment and you may stay, Draco.

Filch gives an angry grunt and storms off.

DRACO
Thanks….

SLUGHORN
It’s nothing, nothing! I did know your grandfather, after all….

DRACO
He always spoke very highly of you, sir. Said you were the best potion-maker he’d ever known……

SNAPE
I’d like a word with you, Draco.

SLUGHORN
Oh, now, Severus it’s Christmas, don’t be too hard…

SNAPE
I’m his Head of House, and I shall decide how hard, or otherwise, to be. Follow me, Draco.

Snape turns and grabs Draco by the ear as he pulls him away from the crowd and out of the door.

HARRY
Hey...Luna…I’ll be back in a bit...

LUNA
All right.

TRELAWNY
So dear, tell me more about this Rotfang Conspiracy…

INT-HALLLWAY-NIGHT (MOMENTS LATER)

Harry walks out of the room into the dark quite corridor. He pulls out his Invisibility Cloak and throws it over himself. He then walks slowly down the hall and turns to corner and see’s Snape and Draco standing there.

SNAPE
You cannot afford mistakes, Draco, because if you are expelled…

DRACO
I didn’t have anything to do with it, all right?

SNAPE
I hope you are telling the truth, because it was both clumsy and foolish. Already you are suspected of having a hand in it.

DRACO
Who suspects me? For the last time, I didn’t do it, okay?

SNAPE
Ah…Aunt Bellatrix has been teaching you Occlumency, I see. What thoughts are you trying to conceal from your master, Draco?

DRACO
I’m not trying to conceal anything; I just don’t want you butting in!

SNAPE
Listen to me; I am trying to help you. I made the Unbreakable Vow, Draco…

DRACO
Looks like you’ll have to break it then, because I don’t need your protection. I’ve got a plan and it’s going to work!

SNAPE
What is your plan?

DRACO
It’s none of your business!

SNAPE
Draco I can assist you…

DRACO
I’ve got all the assitance I need thanks, I’m not alone!

SNAPE
You were certainly alone tonight…

DRACO
I would’ve had Crabbe and Goyle if you hadn’t put them in detention!

SNAPE
If your friends intend to pass their Defense Against the Dark Arts O.W.L…

DRACO
What does it matter? It’s all a joke, an act. Like any of us need protecting against the Dark Arts…

SNAPE
It is an act that is crucial to success Draco! Confide in me and I can…

DRACO
I know what you’re up to! You want to steal my glory!

SNAPE
You are speaking like a child! I quite understand that your fathers capture and imprisonment has upset you, but…

Draco walks away immediately from Snape. Harry stands very still as he walks by. We see a shot of Snape watching Draco walk away and he returns back to the direction the party. We see a look of confused on Harry’s face and the scene fades…

INT-THE BURROW-KITCHEN-MORNING

To a snowy shot of the Burrow, then the scene changes to Harry and Ron chopping things in the kitchen sink.

RON
So Snape was definitely offering to help him?

HARRY
He said he’s promised Malfoy’s mother to protect him, that he’d made an Unbreakable Oath or something…

RON
An Unbreakable Vow? Are you sure?

HARRY
Yes, what does it mean?

RON
Well you can’t break an Unbreakable Vow…

HARRY
I’d worked that much out for myself, funnily enough.

RON
If you break it you die. Fred and George tried to get me to make one when I was five actually…

Fred and George enter the kitchen as he says this.

GEORGE
Well well well Ron

FRED
What is this we hear from Ginny about you and a young lady called…unless our information is faulty…Lavender Brown?

RON
Mind your own business!

FRED AND GEORGE
Ooohhhhhhhhhhh

FRED
Seems we’ve struck a nerve.

GEORGE
What we want to know however little brother is how did it happen?

FRED
Did she have an accident or something?

RON
What?

GEORGE
Well, how did she sustain such extensive brain damage.

Ron throws the knife at George and he turns it into an paper airplane immediately. Mrs. Weasley walks in on this exact moment.

GEORGE
Careful, now!

MRS. WEASLEY
RON! Don’t you EVER let me see you throwing knives again!

GEORGE
It’s ok mum he’s just a little love struck

RON
Shut up!

FRED
Shame you two aren’t seventeen yet....

GEORGE
Yeah once you’re allowed to use magic there will be no need to use such objects as knives…..

RON
Why don’t you two help us out then!

FRED
Sorry we have plans…..

GEORGE
And if you want people to help you Ron I wouldn’t chuck knives at them…

Harry laughs as Fred and George exit and Ron turns angrily back to the sink to continue cutting.

RON
Gits…

INT. -DEN-MORNING (LATER THAT DAY)

The scene cuts to Harry walking down the stairway of the Burrow. He notices Ginny sitting in front of the fireplace alone and with a bit of hesitation walks over to her.

HARRY
Ginny?

GINNY
Oh hey Harry…have a seat…

HARRY
Thanks….

He sits down and nervously starts to tap his fingers together. Harry and Ginny both look at each other and smile and Harry clears his throat.

HARRY
So…you’re doing really well in Quidditch Ginny….

GINNY
Thanks…surprisingly Ron isn’t so bad himself…

HARRY
Heh…Yeah…so…is Dean coming over for Christmas?

GINNY
No…and a good thing too I say. He’s been driving me mad recently.

HARRY
Really?

GINNY
Yeah…he’s always trying to…help me do things…I keep telling him I’m not a baby…

HARRY
Oh…well…I’m sure he’ll come around…

GINNY
Doubt it…we’ve been fighting a lot lately…

HARRY
Well if there’s anything I can do….

GINNY
Don’t worry Harry if we break up it won’t affect the team…

HARRY
I’m not worried about the team…just you…

Ginny looks over at Harry and stares into his eyes. They both stare at each other for a moment and slowly begin to lean forwards. Their lips are inches from touching when Ginny backs away.

GINNY
I can’t….

HARRY
No….I’m sorry…that was uncalled for…

GINNY
Well you weren’t the only one leaning in were you?

She gives Harry a smile as there is commotion in the kitchen. They both get up and walk in as Mr. Weasley walks in dusting snow off of his coat and following him is REMUS LUPIN.

HARRY
Professor Lupin…

LUPIN
Harry…it’s nice to see you again….

MRS. WEASLEY
Oh Remus I’m glad you made it here alright! Would you like a bowl of soup?

LUPIN
I’m fine now Molly thanks…

MRS. WEASLEY
Nonsense! Ginny could you grab the bowls dear?

GINNY
Sure mum…

Mrs. Weasley goes to stir the soup as Ginny looks through the cabinets. Harry walks up to both Lupin and Mr. Weasley.

HARRY
I’m glad you two are here…there’s something I have to tell you…

The scene cuts to Lupin, Mr. Weasley, and Harry sitting around the fireplace as Christmas music plays in the background.

HARRY
Snape was definitely trying to help Malfoy with something.

MR. WEASLEY
Has it occurred to you, Harry that Snape was simply pretending...?

HARRY
Pretending to offer help so he can find out what Malfoy’s up to? Yeah, I thought you’d say that, but how do we know?

MR. WEASLEY
It isn’t out business to know. Dumbledore trusts Severus, and that ought to be good enough for all of us.

HARRY
But just say Dumbledore’s wrong about Snape…

LUPIN
People have said it many times Harry. It comes down to whether or not you trust Dumbledore’s judgement.

HARRY
But Dumbledore can make mistakes. He says it himself, and sir do you honestly trust Snape?

LUPIN
I neither like nor dislike Severus. We shall never be friends….

He pauses as he catches a glimpse of the Daily Prophet that is sitting beside Mr. Weasley.

LUPIN
Arthur…could you…

Mr. Weasley hands Lupin the paper and he stares down at the cover page.

HARRY
What is it sir? Someone we know….?

LUPIN
No Harry….

He turns the paper around and the headline reads ‘MORE ATTACKS’ and on the cover is FENRIR GREYBACK who looks as if he’s growling back up at us.

HARRY
Who is that?

Lupin and Mr. Weasley both make eye contact with each other and Lupin hands the paper to Harry.

LUPIN
Fenrir Greyback is the most savage werewolf alive today. He regards it his mission in life to bite and contaminate as many people as possible, sometimes even without the full moon. Voldemort has promised him prey in return for his services. Greyback specializes in children; it was Greyback who bit me.

HARRY
What? When you were a kid?

LUPIN
Yes. My father had offended him. I guess it worked out in the end however. I’ve been underground the past few months living among the werewolves; nearly all of them are on Voldemort’s side. Dumbledore wanted a spy and here I was…ready made.

HARRY
How come they like Voldemort?

LUPIN
They think that, under his rule, they will have a better life.

Harry looks back down at the paper and the image of Greyback continues to glare up at him and the camera slowly fades to a shot of Harry sleeping. Ron’s voice wakes him up.

INT-RONS BEDROOM-CHRISTMAS MORNING

RON
(Off screen)
She’s got to be joking!

Harry sits up and grabs his glasses. He see’s Ron holding up a chain.

HARRY
What’s that?

RON
Its from Lavender, she can’t honestly think I’d wear…

He turns the chain around and it reads My Sweetheart.

HARRY
Nice, you should definitely wear it in front of Fred and George.

RON
If you tell them..I…I…I’ll…

HARRY
Stutter at me?

Harry and Ron both have a laugh as the scene cuts to:

INT. KITCHEN-CHRISTMAS AFTERNOON

Fred, George, Mr and Mrs. Weasly, Lupin, Ginny, and Harry sitting around the dinner table. There’s a lot of rustle and talking around the table.

HARRY
This is excellent Mrs. Weasley

MRS. WEASLEY
Thanks Harry dear.

FRED
So Ron….

GEORGE
About this Lavender Brown…

RON
Shut up!

GINNY
Oohhh..looks like Ron can’t take what he dishes!

RON
YOU SHUT YOUR FACE!

FRED
Oh so angry…

GEORGE
That’s what love does to you…

As everyone laughs Ginny looks over and notices to figures walking toward the house. She gets up and looks out of the window.

GINNY
Hey, it’s…its Tonks!

LUPIN
What?

MRS. WEASLEY
Yes well I invited dear Tonks over for dinner. She wouldn’t come at first…

LUPIN
Molly….

Before he can say anything she jumps up and opens the door signaling Tonks in. Tonks walks in slowly wiping snowflakes off of herself.

TONKS
Sorry I’m so late Molly I….

She looks up at the table and notices Lupin sitting there. He looks down at his plate and Tonks looks down at Molly.

TONKS
I thought you said he wouldn’t be here…

MRS. WEASLEY
Yes well he showed up unexpectingly. You’ve come all this way now dear have a seat…it’s already prepared there next to Remus.

LUPIN
Oh really Molly? I thought you said this seat was for Hermione.

MRS. WEASLEY
Oh didn’t I tell you she isn’t joining us this year…sit Tonks…

Tonks sighs and sits next to Lupin who looks even more uncomfortable. Harry and Ron both look at Ginny who shrugs and Mrs. Weasley sits back down.

MRS. WEASLEY
Well isn’t this lovely. All together for Christmas dinner…do you want any pea’s dear?

TONKS
No thanks….I’m not really hungry at the moment.

Mrs. Weasley waves her hand and food starts piling on Tonks plate.

MRS. WEASLEY
Rubbish you’ve traveled so far….

LUPIN
Molly I know what you’re trying to do….

TONKS
And what’s that Remus?

LUPIN
(Sighs)
Nymphodora this isn’t the time nor place…

TONK
It never is Remus….

She gets up and walks out of the room and Mrs. Weasley glares at Lupin.

MRS. WEASLEY
Now look what you’ve done!

She gets up and runs after Tonks. Lupin sighs before getting up and following. The rest of them at the table all look at each other in silence for a moment and then they all get up and follow.

INT. THE BURROW-LIVING ROOM-MOMENTS LATER

They stand outside of the living room and watch the events unfold inside. Tonks is sitting on the couch and Molly is comforting her. Lupin looks down at them.

LUPIN
Tonks you should really eat something….

TONKS
I don’t want food right now Remus!

LUPIN
Stop acting like a child!

TONKS
A child Remus…a child!

With this she gets up and faces him.

TONKS
You’re the one acting like a child Remus…can’t you see what this is doing to me….

REMUS
You know I hate seeing you in pain…but…I’m a werewolf…

TONKS
I know…and I told you a million times I don’t care!

LUPIN
And I’ve told you a million times that I am too old for you….too poor…too dangerous….

Mrs. Weasley stands up as he says this

MRS. WEASLEY
I’ve said all along you’re taking a ridiculous line on this, Remus.

LUPIN
She deserves someone young and whole Molly.

TONKS
But I want you Remus…can’t you see. I love you and I know you love me…

LUPIN
Can we discuss this later….

TONKS
How do you know there will be a later!

She storms off again this time walking through Harry and company standing outside listening. Mrs. Weasley once agains chases her and Lupin sits in a chair and puts his hand on his head.

FRED
Well this has been fun….

GEORGE
But there is still hot dinner that we intend to enjoy…

They both walk off back towards the table as Mr. Weasley goes to talk to Lupin. Harry, Ron, and Ginny look at each other.

RON
Well I guess that explains why she’s been looking so dreadful lately.

Ginny punches Ron in the arm, rolls her eyes, and walks away. Ron and Harry cast side looks at each as the scene cuts to a shot of the Burrow once again and then slowly fades into a shot of Hogwarts.

Montse April 17th, 2008 12:49 am

Re: Fan Scripts: Script your own version of Harry Potter
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by Phrozenone (Post 4993039)
GINNY
I can’t….

HARRY
No….I’m sorry…that was uncalled for…

GINNY
Well you weren’t the only one leaning in were you?


I usually just read and did no comment ...but i do have something to say this time about this bit...

If this happens ...and i like it as it is before ...the leaning in and stuff...i dont see this bit i quoted happening...

As i understand Ginny´s character ,she would have stopped herself from kissing Harry but without explenations...just stopping herself under an excuse whatever that might be...

I just dont see it happening like that...they stop themselves allright without elaborating on it...that would be too akward...

there...I have my said...i havent finished reading so who knows if i´ll had something else to add....

Forlong April 17th, 2008 1:05 am

Re: Fan Scripts: Script your own version of Harry Potter
 
I'd add this line into "GoF" (actual quotes from the book are in italics).

Hermione: All the good-looking ones taken, Ron? Eloise Midgen starting to look quite pretty now, is she? Well, I'm sure you'll find someone somewhere who'll have you.
[Ron stares at Hermione, as though suddenly seeing her in a whole new light]
Ron: Hermione, Neville's right--you are a girl....
Hermione: Oh well spotted! [acidly]

Ginny: [turning to Harry and whispering] It took him this long to realize that? No wonder he couldn't get a date.
[Harry stiffles his laughter]

lcbaseball22 April 17th, 2008 1:53 pm

Re: Fan Scripts: Script your own version of Harry Potter
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by Phrozenone (Post 4993039)
No problem Arry! :) Keep em coming buddy!

Until then it is now time for me to FINALLY post the next section. Once again you all will notice some changes and a certain character missing since we're not sure if he's in or not....but in his place I moved an event from the end of the book up because I thought it would work...let me know what you think.

Hey Phrozenone,

I think I'm being really stupid, but what are the changes made, the character missing (Dobby?) and the event that was moved???

Sorry, but I didn't notice this, maybe I should go back and read this part in the Book to deduce what changes you made. :relax:

Anyways, if you fill me in, I'll be better able to give you some constructive criticism! :p

Forlong April 18th, 2008 3:45 am

Re: Fan Scripts: Script your own version of Harry Potter
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by lcbaseball22 (Post 4973912)
Quote:

GINNY
Well Harry, you need to be careful. There are a lot of girls out to get you.

HARRY
Oh Ginny what would Dean say?

GINNY
(Laughs)
I’m talking about Romilda Vane. I was in the girl’s bathroom just before I came here and I overheard her talking to her friends. They’re hoping you’re going to take them to Slughorn’s party, and they all seem to have bought Fred and George’s love potions. I’d just invite someone to go with if I were you.

HARRY
There isn’t anyone I want to invite except…..

He looks over at Ginny but clears his throat and looks straight ahead again.

GINNY
Well just be careful what you drink.
This was also BRILLIANT!!! I like how you switched it from Hermione relaying the info to Ginny. You really are doing a WONDERFUL job at the romance part and HINTING! I like the "Oh Ginny, what would Dean say?" and the looks over at Ginny when thinking of who to invite. :tu:

That was briliant.

Okay, I'm going to be doing this chronologically.

Philosopher’s Stone:    


  
The Boy Who Lived
Opens in the clouds. Camera moves forward and passes by the title:

Harry Potter
and the
Philosopher’s Stone

Camera comes down to the Grunnings building as several owls fly by. Comes right to Vernon’s
window. Vernon is facing away from the window, and misses seeing five owls fly by it. He is
talking sternly on the phone.

VERNON:
I don’t care if you have to work every day from now ‘til Christmas! Get it DONE!

Vernon slams the phone down and grumbles all kinds of nonsense to himself. He looks at his
watch and sees that it’s five o’clock. Vernon grabs his briefcase and walks out, passing his
secretary.

SECRETARY:
[cheery] Have a wonderful day, Mr. Dursley.

Vernon grunts, and the secretary frowns at him. A man in green robes passes Vernon.

VERNON:
[grumbling] Ruddy kids and their mad fashions.

MAN IN GREEN:
[to secretary, quietly] Did you hear? About the Potters?

SECRETARY:
[just as quietly] Yes. What was that about their son, Harry?

Vernon looks a bit panicked, and dashes off before he can hear more. He runs into the elevator.

Cut to the ground floor. Vernon dashes out of the building and runs into a man in violet robes,
knocking him over.

VERNON:
Sorry. [looks and notices the robes, his expression becomes exasperated]

MAN IN VIOLET:
[seeming absolutely thrilled] Don’t be sorry, my friend, for nothing can upset me today! Even
Muggles, such as yourself should rejoice, for You-Know-Who is finally gone! [hugs a very
surprised Vernon] Oh, happy day! [let’s go of Vernon and walks off] Happy, happy day! Bless
you, Harry Potter!
Vernon looks extremely shocked and stands rooted where he stands. Fade to Privet Drive.
Vernon’s car pulls into the driveway of Number 4. Vernon walks out of the car and sees a cat on
the stonewall around the yard.

VERNON:
[to the cat] Shoo. Shoo.

Cat stares at him, as if questioning his sanity. Vernon walks inside with a little more speed than
necessary.

VERNON:
[while walking inside] Petunia, I’m home.

Petunia walks over to Vernon with a babbling baby Dudley on her hip and kisses him on the
cheek.

PETUNIA:
Welcome home. [walking off] What a day. Dudley learned how to say, “Won’t”. He is the
smartest little boy, make no mistake. And I have to tell you, Mrs. Shwartz is having the biggest...

Vernon looks outside as his wife rambles and sees three owls fly by. He closes the door and
nervously bites his lower lip and walks into the kitchen.

PETUNIA:
...Bubbles? Who names their cat “Bubbles”? Raving mad that woman is! Could use more sense
in her life.

VERNON:
[clears his throat] Er...Petunia...dear...you...haven’t hear from...your sister lately, have you?

PETUNIA:
[looking as if her whole day was ruined] NO! Why?

VERNON:
Funny stuff happening. Owls everywhere. Funny looking folks in town. I just thought it might
have something to do with her crowd.

Petunia sips her tea, looking absolutely miffed.

VERNON:
Er...their son would be about Dudley’s age now, wouldn’t he? What was his name again?
Howard?

PETUNIA:
Harry. Nasty, common name if you ask me.

Fade out on a very nervous Vernon.
  



Let me know what you think.

lcbaseball22 April 18th, 2008 11:28 am

Re: Fan Scripts: Script your own version of Harry Potter
 
Phrozenone, I have a question, something that ArryGrotter and I just discussed:

Quote:

HARRY
No sir…

A small elf walks by carrying a tray with 4 classes.

TRELAWNEY
Do you mind if I take one?

She takes one glass and drinks it with one gulp. She then proceeds to quickly down the other 3 while Slughorn, Harry, and Luna look on. Once she finishes the elf just shakes it’s head and walks away.
How come you left Trelawny in?

Did you plan on cutting her, you know she wasn't cast?

Also, you had this bit earlier, so I figured you'd cut her altogether and replaced her part with Dumbledore:

Quote:

HARRY
Does what you’re going to tell me have anything to do with the prophecy?

DUMBLEDORE
Ah the prophecy. I’m glad you brought that up Harry. When you picked up the prophecy last year you heard it being given in your head am I correct?

HARRY
Yes sir….

DUMBLEDORE
The prophecy you heard last year was made by none other than Professor Trelawney.

HARRY
Trelawney?

DUMBLEDORE
(chuckles)
Seems a bit unbelievable?

HARRY
How do you know it was her sir?

DUMBLEDORE
I was there when she made it. You see I was interviewing her for the teaching post here. Unfortunately we were interrupted…..

ArryGrotter April 19th, 2008 2:22 am

Re: Fan Scripts: Script your own version of Harry Potter
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by Forlong (Post 4995049)
That was briliant.

Okay, I'm going to be doing this chronologically.

Philosopher’s Stone:    


  
The Boy Who Lived
Opens in the clouds. Camera moves forward and passes by the title:

Harry Potter
and the
Philosopher’s Stone

Camera comes down to the Grunnings building as several owls fly by. Comes right to Vernon’s
window. Vernon is facing away from the window, and misses seeing five owls fly by it. He is
talking sternly on the phone.

VERNON:
I don’t care if you have to work every day from now ‘til Christmas! Get it DONE!

Vernon slams the phone down and grumbles all kinds of nonsense to himself. He looks at his
watch and sees that it’s five o’clock. Vernon grabs his briefcase and walks out, passing his
secretary.

SECRETARY:
[cheery] Have a wonderful day, Mr. Dursley.

Vernon grunts, and the secretary frowns at him. A man in green robes passes Vernon.

VERNON:
[grumbling] Ruddy kids and their mad fashions.

MAN IN GREEN:
[to secretary, quietly] Did you hear? About the Potters?

SECRETARY:
[just as quietly] Yes. What was that about their son, Harry?

Vernon looks a bit panicked, and dashes off before he can hear more. He runs into the elevator.

Cut to the ground floor. Vernon dashes out of the building and runs into a man in violet robes,
knocking him over.

VERNON:
Sorry. [looks and notices the robes, his expression becomes exasperated]

MAN IN VIOLET:
[seeming absolutely thrilled] Don’t be sorry, my friend, for nothing can upset me today! Even
Muggles, such as yourself should rejoice, for You-Know-Who is finally gone! [hugs a very
surprised Vernon] Oh, happy day! [let’s go of Vernon and walks off] Happy, happy day! Bless
you, Harry Potter!
Vernon looks extremely shocked and stands rooted where he stands. Fade to Privet Drive.
Vernon’s car pulls into the driveway of Number 4. Vernon walks out of the car and sees a cat on
the stonewall around the yard.

VERNON:
[to the cat] Shoo. Shoo.

Cat stares at him, as if questioning his sanity. Vernon walks inside with a little more speed than
necessary.

VERNON:
[while walking inside] Petunia, I’m home.

Petunia walks over to Vernon with a babbling baby Dudley on her hip and kisses him on the
cheek.

PETUNIA:
Welcome home. [walking off] What a day. Dudley learned how to say, “Won’t”. He is the
smartest little boy, make no mistake. And I have to tell you, Mrs. Shwartz is having the biggest...

Vernon looks outside as his wife rambles and sees three owls fly by. He closes the door and
nervously bites his lower lip and walks into the kitchen.

PETUNIA:
...Bubbles? Who names their cat “Bubbles”? Raving mad that woman is! Could use more sense
in her life.

VERNON:
[clears his throat] Er...Petunia...dear...you...haven’t hear from...your sister lately, have you?

PETUNIA:
[looking as if her whole day was ruined] NO! Why?

VERNON:
Funny stuff happening. Owls everywhere. Funny looking folks in town. I just thought it might
have something to do with her crowd.

Petunia sips her tea, looking absolutely miffed.

VERNON:
Er...their son would be about Dudley’s age now, wouldn’t he? What was his name again?
Howard?

PETUNIA:
Harry. Nasty, common name if you ask me.

Fade out on a very nervous Vernon.
  



Let me know what you think.

Good attempt. Loved the talk with the Dursleys.

Nit-picks:
Do not like at ALL how it opens. Makes it seem like Vernon's the main character (I know the book opens with the Dursleys, but before we actually meet them we've been told about the Potter's)
Why is everyone in Grunnings, expect Vernon magical, all that happened on the street for a reason.

That's all. Like I said it was good.:tu:

Phrozenone April 20th, 2008 11:31 am

Re: Fan Scripts: Script your own version of Harry Potter
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by lcbaseball22 (Post 4994325)
Hey Phrozenone,

I think I'm being really stupid, but what are the changes made, the character missing (Dobby?) and the event that was moved???

Sorry, but I didn't notice this, maybe I should go back and read this part in the Book to deduce what changes you made. :relax:

Anyways, if you fill me in, I'll be better able to give you some constructive criticism! :p

tsk tsk tsk for shame....you should know that Scrimgeour was in this section of the book (as well as Mr. Percy Weasley I might add) I, of course, wrote him out just in case he isn't in the film and I moved the conversation between Tonks and Lupin from the end after Dumbledore died to here since I never really liked it there in the first place (And since Bill getting injured kind of triggered the convo...and there's no Bill...why not move it up?)

Quote:

Originally Posted by lcbaseball22 (Post 4995241)
Phrozenone, I have a question, something that ArryGrotter and I just discussed:



How come you left Trelawny in?

Did you plan on cutting her, you know she wasn't cast?

Also, you had this bit earlier, so I figured you'd cut her altogether and replaced her part with Dumbledore:


Ah but remember...Dumbledore only told Harry who made the prophecy...not who actually walked into the room while the prophecy was being made. Wonder how he's going to find that one out.... :p

Phrozenone April 28th, 2008 1:19 pm

Re: Fan Scripts: Script your own version of Harry Potter
 
hmmm this thread as gotten quiet! Regardless I am on a little vacation and all my HBP files are back on another computer SO as a treat I will post the rest of my DH script (If you want to see the beginning check page 5 I think) As before this is the first draft and I was just toying with ideas and I'm sure there will be things alot of you don't like. I've yet to finish my DH script (Since I left it here AND I've been working on HBP) but here is a look at the rest of what I've written. Comments are of course welcomed (As well as with the other HBP excerts..come on people I want feedback! :p)

Warning this is a LONG one.

Quote:

INT. WOODS-THE TENT-NIGHT

The scene cuts to Hermione reading the book given to her by Dumbledore as Ron and Harry pick at their food.

RON
Weeks we’ve been out here…. moving the tent everyday…barely getting any food…. accomplishing nothing….

HERMIONE
Ron please!

HARRY
Find anything good in there?

HERMIONE
No…it’s just a book of fables really. I don’t know why Dumbledore insisted on giving this to me…

HARRY
I’ve been thinking. For months we’ve been searching at places we’d think Vol….

RON
Don’t say his name!

HARRY
Fine…You Know Who…Happy?

RON
Not particularly.

HARRY
Anyways, we’ve been to his old orphaning, his ancestors old home… but there are a few places we’ve yet to look. We have Borgin and Burkes, you know he went into exile in Albania for a while….

RON
Yeah, let’s go to Albania. Shouldn’t take more than an afternoon to search an entire country.

HARRY
I have a feeling however, that there’s one in Hogwarts.

HERMIONE
But don’t you think Dumbledore would’ve found it there?

HARRY
Dumbledore said that he never assumed he knew all of Hogwart’s secrets. I’m telling you, if there’s one place Vol…

RON
No!

HARRY
YOU KNOW WHO THEN! If there was one place that was really important it was Hogwarts. It was his first real home, the place that meant he was special; it meant everything to him, and even after he left…

RON
This is You Know Who we’re talking bout, not you.
(The tugs at the locket around his neck and starts poking at his plate again.)
I can’t keep eating this rubbish.

HERMIONE
Rubbish? Harry caught that fish and I did my best with it! I notice I’m always the one who ends up sorting out the food, because I’m a girl I suppose!

RON
No, it’s because you’re supposed to be the best at magic! My mother can make good food appear out of thin air.

HERMIONE
It’s impossible to make good food out of nothing! You can summon it if you know where it is, you can transform it, and you can increase the quantity if you’ve already got some….

RON
Well don’t bother increasing this, it’s disgusting.

HARRY
Shut up the both of you. I hear someone.

EXT. THE WOODS-MOMENTS LATER

Harry gets up and walks out of the tent. Hermione and Ron follow him as he walks up to a tree and notices 3 figures sitting around a fire inches away from them.

HARRY
They won’t be able to hear us right?

HERMIONE
No….I wonder who they are….
(She runs back into the tent and returns with a few extendable ears.)
Fred and George’s Extendable Ears….I packed them just in case.

HARRY
Brilliant Hermione!

She smiles at him as she hands him one and Ron frowns.

The scene cuts to DEAN THOMAS, Ted Tonks, and the goblin GRIPHOOK sitting around the fire talking.

TED
The Ministry is conducting Muggle Born registration of all half bloods. I made a run for it once I heard a few Death Eaters were in the area. My wife is pure blood so she’ll be okay. My daughter Dora was married a few months ago and she’s now pregnant.

The scene cuts to Hermione putting her hand over her mouth happily about the news.

DEAN
Isn’t she married to Professor Lupin?

TED
The very same. It’ll be tough for them, him being a werewolf and all, but they love each other. What has you on the run Griphook, I had the impression the goblins were for You-Know-Who on the whole.

GRIPHOOK
You had a false impression. Regardless Gringotts is no longer under the sole control of my race, I recognize no Wizarding master. Funnily enough I had a small revenge before I left.

DEAN
How so?

GRIPHOOK
Did you hear that some kids tried to steal Gryffindor’s sword out of Snape’s office at Hogwarts?

DEAN
Ah yeah, Snape is Headmaster now isn’t he?

GRIPHOOK
Yes, and the youngest of the Weasleys and some of her friends tried to take the sword but got caught by Snape.

Harry, Ron, and Hermione all look at each other with a shocked look in their eyes

TED
What did they want with it?

GRIPHOOK
No idea, but whatever they thought they were going to do with it, Snape decided the sword wasn’t safe where it was. Couple of days later he sent it down to London to be kept in Gringotts.
(Laughs)

TED
What’s so funny?

GRIPHOOK
The sword was a fake! An excellent copy true enough, but it was Wizard made, I could tell.

DEAN
What happened to Ginny and the others?

GRIPHOOK
Oh, they were punished, and cruelly.

TED
But they’re okay though? I mean, the Weasley’s don’t need any more of their kids injured, do they?

GRIPHOOK
They suffered no serious injury, as far as I am aware.

TED
Good. Well now that we’re all fed I think it’s best we move on. Can’t stand to stay in one spot for very long.

The three of them start to gather their things as Harry reels in his Extendable Ear with a look of worry on his face.

HARRY
Did you just hear that? The sword…

HERMIONE
I know. And that explains how Snape knew we were at Grimmauld Place. Phineas must’ve told him…

HARRY
Regardless Hermione, we have to try and contact him again.

HERMIONE
But Harry….

HARRY
Hermione…please?

INT. WOODS-THE TENT-MOMENTS LATER

The scene cuts to Hermione in front of the portrait with Harry and Ron standing behind her.

HERMIONE
Phineas Nigellus, are you there.

PHINEAS
Please always helps…

HERMIONE
Obscuro!

When Phineas appears in the portrait a black blindfold is put on his face.

PHINEAS
What…how dare you!

HERMIONE
I’m very sorry Mr. Black. It’s a necessary precaution.

PHINEAS
Remove this at once! Where am I? What is going on?

HARRY
Never mind where we are….

PHINEAS
Can that possibly be the voice of the elusive Mr. Potter?

HARRY
Maybe. We’ve got a couple of questions to ask you about the sword of Gryffindor.

PHINEAS
As yes. That silly girl acted most unwisely there….

RON
Shut up about my sister!

PHINEAS
Who else is there? Your tone displeases me! The girl and her friends were foolhardy in the extreme. Thieving from the headmaster!

HARRY
They weren’t thieving. That sword isn’t Snapes.

PHINEAS
It belongs to Professor Snape’s School. She deserved her punishment, as did the idiot Longbottom and the Lovegood oddity!

HARRY
How did Snape punish Ginny, Neville, and Luna?

PHINEAS
Professor Snape sent them into the Forbidden Forest, to do some work for the oaf Hagrid.

HARRY
(Laughs)
Ginny, Neville, and Luna probably had a good laugh with Hagrid. The Forbidden Forest…they’ve seen worse in there…

PHINEAS
I grow weary of this. Perhaps it is time for me to return to the headmaster’s office.

HARRY
Dumbledore! Can’t you bring us Dumbledore?

PHINEAS
The portraits of Hogwarts may commune with each other, but they cannot travel outside the castle except to visit a painting of themselves hanging elsewhere.

HERMIONE
Professor Black couldn’t you just tell us, please, when was the last time the sword was taken out of its case? Before Ginny took it out, I mean?

PHINEAS
(Snorts)
I believe that the last time I saw the sword of Gryffindor leave its case was when Professor Dumbledore used it to break open a ring.

Hermione turns around quickly with her mouth wide open to Harry in shock.

PHINEAS
Well, good night to you.

HARRY
Wait! Have you told Snape you saw this?

PHINEAS
Professor Snape has more important things on his mind than the many eccentricities of Albus Dumbledore. Good-bye Potter!

And like that Phineas in gone once again out of the portrait.

HERMIONE
Harry did you hear….?

HARRY
I know!
(He jumps up excited and starts to pace around the tent)

HERMIONE
The sword can destroy Horcruxes! Goblin made blades imbibe only that which strengthen them…Harry, that sword’s impregnated with basilisk venom!

HARRY
And Dumbledore didn’t give it to me because he still needed it, he wanted to use it on the locket…

HERMIONE
And he must have realized they wouldn’t let you have it if he put it in his will so he made a copy….

HARRY
And put a fake in the glass case…. but where do you think he left the real one?

HERMIONE
Do you think somewhere in Hogsmeade?

HARRY
The Shrieking Shack? Nobody ever goes in there.

HERMIONE
But Snape knows how to get in, wouldn’t that be a bit risky?

HARRY
Dumbledore trusts Snape.

HERMIONE
Not enough to tell him that he had swapped the swords.

HARRY
You’re right. So, would he have hidden the sword well away from Hogsmeade, then? What d’you reckon, Ron? Ron?

Harry turns around and notices Ron sitting in the corner alone looking particularly angry.

RON
Oh, remembered me, have you? You two carry on, don’t let me spoil your fun.

HARRY
What’s the problem?

RON
Problem? There’s no problem. Not according to you, anyway.

HARRY
Well, you’ve obviously got a problem. Spit it out, will you?

Ron jumps up out of the bed he was sitting on.

RON
All right, I’ll spit it out. Don’t expect me to skip up and down the tent because there’s some other damn thing we’ve got to find. Just add it to the list of stuff you don’t know.

HARRY
I don’t know…?

RON
It’s not like I’m not having the time of my life here. You know nothing to eat, freezing my backside off every night. I just hoped, you know, after we’d been running around a few weeks, we’d have achieved something.

HERMIONE
Ron….

HARRY
I thought you knew what you’d signed up for! Did you think we’d be staying in five star hotels? Finding a Horcrux every other day? Did you think you’d be back to Mummy by Christmas?

RON
We thought you knew what you were doing! We thought Dumbledore had told you what to do, we thought you had a plan!

HERMIONE
Ron!

HARRY
Well, sorry to let you down. I’ve been straight with you from the start, and in case you haven’t noticed, we’ve found one Horcrux…

RON
Oh yeah lucky for us your house elf happened to have one on him! We’re nowhere near getting rid of it as we are to finding the rest of them….!

HERMIONE
Take off the locket Ron. You wouldn’t be talking like this if you hadn’t been wearing it all day.

HARRY
So why are you still here?

RON
Search me.

HARRY
Go home then.

RON
Yeah, maybe I will! Didn’t you hear what they said about my sister? But you don’t give a rat’s fart, do you, it’s only the Forbidden Forest, Harry I’ve-Faced-Worse Potter doesn’t care what happens to her in there…

HARRY
I was only saying…she was with the others, they were with Hagrid….

RON
Yeah I get it, you don’t care! Maybe Ginny was just preparation for the person you really have feelings for right?
(HE glances over at Hermione)

HARRY
What do you…?

RON
And what about the rest of my family? The Weasleys don’t need another kid injured did you hear that? Not bothered what it meant though? But it’s all right though, since your parents are safely out of the way….

HARRY
My parents are dead!

RON
And mine could be going the same way!

HARRY
Then GO! Go back to them!

Ron pulls out his wand and Harry reacts as Hermione pulls out hers at the same time.

HERMIONE
Protego!

Harry and Ron are forced apart, but they continue to glare at each other through the invisible barrier.

HARRY
Leave the Horcrux!

Ron takes off the locket from around his neck and throws it to the ground. He then turns to look at Hermione.

RON
So what are you doing? Are you staying or what?

HERMIONE
I…yes I’m staying Ron. We said we’d go with Harry, we said we’d help….

RON
I get it. You choose him.

He walks quickly out of the tent.

HERMIONE
Ron…no…please…come back.
(She waves her wand so the shield is lifted)
Ron!

EXT. THE WOODS-MOMENTS LATER

Hermione runs out of the tent calling his name but Ron is nowhere to be found. She drops to her knees and begins to cry. Harry watches her from inside the tent as the scene slowly fades as snow falls across it.

INT. THE WOODS-WEEKS LATER

The scene fades to Hermione shooting protective spells around the snowy tent. Once she casts the final spell she sighs and returns into the tent.

INT. THE WOODS-THE TENT-MOMENTS LATER

HERMIONE
They’re all up. Has Phineas been back yet?

HARRY
No, but he’ll be back soon enough. He’s been good company the past few weeks since….

He looks up at the hurt expression on her face and quickly changes the subject.

HARRY
Hermione I’ve been thinking. I want to go to Godric’s Hollow.

HERMIONE
Yes, I’ve been wondering that too. I really think we’ll have to. I mean, I can’t think of anywhere else it could be. It’ll be dangerous, but the more I think about it, the more likely it seems it’s there.

HARRY
What’s there?

HERMIONE
The sword Harry! Dumbledore must have known you’d want to go back there, and I mean, Godric’s Hollow is Godric Gryffindor’s birthplace after all…

HARRY
Really? Gryffindor came from Godric’s Hallow?

HERMIONE
Harry, did you ever even open A History of Magic?

HARRY
But where in Godric’s Hallow could it be?

HERMIONE
I don’t’ know…

HARRY
Wait a moment…Dumbledore’s Obituary….

HERMIONE
What about it?

HARRY
(He reaches into his pocket and pulls the folded piece of newspaper out and begins to speed read through it.)
There’s a section. Where different people sent a word of acknowledgement to Dumbledore. Why didn’t I think of this before…. look…Bathilda Bagshot…she lives in Godrics Hollows. What if Dumbledore trusted her with the sword?

HERMIONE
The Bathilda Bagshot? Let me see
(She takes the clipping from Harry and reads)
She wrote the book A History of Magic I just mentioned…. do you think it’s possible?

HARRY
What else do we have to lose?

EXT. GODRICS HOLLOW-NIGHT

The scene fades to Harry and Hermione walking through the snow through the town of GODRICS HOLLOW. In the background we hear Christmas music playing and Harry and Hermione glance shadows of families enjoying their holiday.

HERMIONE
I think it’s Christmas Eve…I can’t believe how long we’ve been away from everyone…Do you have the invisibility cloak close? I mean just in case….

HARRY
Yeah it’s in this bag….

They slowly walk towards a War Memorial in the middle of the town. As they get closer to it begins to change into a statue of baby Harry and his parents. Harry stops and stares at it.

HARRY
I never thought there would be a statue. And look a baby me…with no scar….

HERMIONE
Harry look, the graveyards just beyond there!

EXT. GODRICS HOLLOW-GRAVEYARD-MOMENTS LATER

Harry and Hermione walk slowly through the graveyard. Hermione gasps as she notices one and beckons Harry towards it.

HARRY
What is…?

The camera pans to show a tombstone that says KENDRA DUMBLEDORE AND HER DAUGHTER ARIANA. ‘Where your treasure is, there will your heart be also’

HERMIONE
I didn’t know Dumbledore’s family also lived here.

HARRY
Neither did I.

HERMIONE
I think that explains how Dumbledore and Bathilda know each other. Interesting….

HARRY
Yeah…let’s keep moving.

They keep walking looking at the tombstone and the camera pans by one that has a symbol on it. Hermione pauses and stares at it

HARRY
What is it?

HERMIONE
That symbol. I’ve seen it before….

HARRY
I’m going to keep looking for my parents, all right?

He walks off leaving Hermione as she examines the tombstone further. Suddenly Harry pauses as two white tombs lay before him and he automatically knows who they are.

HARRY
Hermione! I think…I think I’ve found them….

He walks up slowly towards the tombstone as Hermione runs to join him. The camera pans over to show the tombs read:

JAMES POTTER LILY POTTER
BORN 27 MARCH 1960 BORN 30 JANUARY1960
DIED 31 OCTOBER 1981 DIED 31 OCTOBER 1981

The last enemy that shall be destroyed is death

HARRY
The last enemy that shall be destroyed is death? Isn’t that a Death Eater idea? Why is that there?

HERMIONE
It doesn’t mean defeating death in the way the Death Eaters mean it, Harry. It means living beyond death. Living after death.

Harry reaches out and touches the tombstone and tears rush down his eyes. He places his head on his parents tombstone and weeps and Hermione caresses his shoulder.

HARRY
I should have brought them something…. anything…

Hermione grabs his hand and pulls him away. She pulls out her wand, waves it, and a wreath of Christmas roses blossomed before them.

HARRY
Thank you Hermione.

He puts his arm around her shoulder and they walk away from the tombstones.

EXT. HOUSE OF RUBBLE-GODRICS HOLLOW-MOMENTS LATER

The scene cuts to Hermione and Harry standing in front of a mound of rubble.

HARRY
This is where it happened. This is where he killed my parents.

HERMIONE
I wonder why nobody’s ever rebuilt it.

HARRY
Maybe you can’t rebuild it. Maybe it’s like the injuries from Dark Magic and you can’t repair the damage?

There is a rustle and Harry and Hermione quickly turn around to see an old BATHILDA BAGSIDE standing a few feet away from them. She gestures for them to follow her and begins to walk away.

HARRY
Are you Bathilda?

She turns around, nods, and keeps walking towards a house in the distance.

HERMIONE
Do you think it’s safe Harry. That could be anyone…for all we know Bathilda could be dead….

HARRY
What else do we have Hermione? If it is her we may be missing out on a gift from Dumbledore.

HERMIONE
But if it’s not she could be leading us to a den full of Death Eaters.

HARRY
Just stay close…at a sudden sign of anything fishy just apparate us back to the tent.

HERMIONE
Harry you can’t just trust anyone….

HARRY
I know Hermione! Just…. we’ll be okay.

Harry starts to follow her and Hermione reluctantly follows. She crosses into the fence of her yard and continues to walk. Harry and Hermione stop at the fence.

HARRY
Ms. Bagshot….

BATHILDA
Come!

Harry goes to open the gate to the fence and Hermione grabs his arm.

HERMIONE
Harry….

HARRY
It’s okay Hermione….

He opens the gate and walks into the yard.

HERMIONE
No Harry…I couldn’t understand….

HARRY
Hermione please you’re…

He pauses as his scar starts to throb with pain. He grabs his scar as he looks up as Bathilda is staring back smiling at him. Her mouth opens wide and Nagini slithers slowly out of her mouth as Bathilda body falls to the ground. In a flash Nagina flies towards biting into his forearm and knocking him back onto the ground. SWOOSH Hermione throws a spell at the snake who turns its tail and knocks Hermione to the ground.

HARRY
Get out of here Hermione! He’s coming! He’s coming!

NAGINA
Yessss…hold you until he comessssss….

HERMIONE
Confundo!

SWOOSH the powerful blast knocks Nagini hard off of Harry as well as taking a few windows and the door off of Bathilda’s House. A black smoke begins to appear as Hermione reaches for Harry’s hand and Voldemort appears just as SWOOSH they were gone. Voldemort screams out in anger at the missed opportunity and

EXT. OUTSIDE THE TENT-THE WOODS-MOMENTS LATER

CRASH Harry and Hermione appear and fall onto the snow in front of the tent. Harry eyes are in the back of his head and he’s screaming in agony.

HERMIONE
Harry!

The camera zooms into Harry’s scar and FLASH

EXT. GODRICS HOLLOW-17 YEARS AGO

The scene cuts to a hooded Voldemort walking slowly towards a house in the distance. He reaches out and slowly opens the gate and continues forward. He points his wand at the door and BOOM it flies open. As he steps into the house JAMES POTTER runs into the hallway.

JAMES
Lily, take Harry and go! It’s him! Go! Run! I’ll hold him off!

Voldemort laughs as he points the wand at James who is charging towards him.

VOLDEMORT
Avada Kadavra!

BOOM the spell hits James and he falls to the floor dead. There is screaming heard upstairs as Voldemort quickly flies up the stairs and points his wand at a closed door and BOOM it flies open. Inside is LILY POTTER who is holding her son. At the sight of Voldemort she puts Harry into the crib and stands in front of him.

LILY
Not Harry, not Harry, please not Harry!

VOLDEMORT
Stand aside, you silly girl…stand aside now…

LILY
Not Harry, please no, take me, kill me instead….

VOLDEMORT
This is my last warning….

LILY
Have mercy…please…I’ll do anything….

VOLDEMORT
Stand aside, girl!

He points his wand at her as a green spell shoots from his wand. Lily screams as she falls to the floor dead. Voldemort then slowly walks up to the baby who is looking up at him. He points his wand at Harry’s head.

VOLDEMORT
Avada Kadavra!

SWOOSH the spell backfires turning Voldemort into nothing more than dust. He screams out in pain as the house around him starts to collapse.

EXT. GODRICS HOLLOW-PRESENT DAY

FLASH the scene cuts to an angry Voldemort in front of Bathilda’s house, Nagina at his feet. He screams out in fury yet again as a group of children singing Christmas Carols pass by. Voldemort turns and points his wand at them and in a flash a green BOOM

INT. THE TENT-THE FOREST OF DEAN-A FEW DAYS LATER

Harry opens his eyes as a green light flashes in his eyeball. He clutches his scar and tries to move but Hermione pushes him gently back down into the bed.

HERMIONE
Relax Harry we’re safe….we’re safe….

HARRY
Hermione? We…we got away?

HERMIONE
Barely…but yes. You’ve been ill…really ill…

HARRY
How long ago did we leave?

HERMIONE
It’s been a few days now….

HARRY
Have I been unconscious this whole time?

HERMIONE
Not exactly. You’ve been shouting and moaning and…things. I couldn’t get the Horcrux off you. It was stuck to your chest.

Harry opens up his shirt and there is a scarlet oval over his heart where the locket had burned him.

HERMIONE
It left a mark, I’m sorry. I had to use a Severing Charm to get it away. The snake bit you too, but I’ve cleaned the wound and put some dittany on it….

HARRY
Give it to me.

HERMIONE
Harry I don’t think you should be wearing it….

HARRY
Hermione please!

She reaches into the bag and hands the locket to Harry which he puts around his neck..

HARRY
I’m so sorry Hermione…I should’ve listened…

HERMIONE
No Harry please…you should rest….

HARRY
Where’s my wand, Hermione?

HERMIONE
Harry….

HARRY
Hermione? Where my wand….

She signed as she reached into her pocket and pulled out his wand now split in two being held together only by a strand of the phoenix feather.

HARRY
No…no…Hermione can’t you mend it? Please….

HERMIONE
Harry I don’t think I can…when it’s broken like this….

HARRY
Please try Hermione!

HERMIONE
(She points her wand at Harry’s)
Reparo!

It seals itself and Hermione hands the wand to Harry.

HARRY
Lumos!
(There is a spark and then nothing. He points the wand at Hermione)
Expelliarmus!

Hermione wand gives a little jerk…nothing more. Harry lays down feeling defeated.

HARRY
I was there….I saw it through his eyes. He’d thought about it once we escaped him…

HERMIONE
What?

HARRY
The night he murdered my parents and tried to kill me.

HERMIONE
Harry….rest…please!

He looks up at her and see’s there’s no point arguing and turns on his side. The camera zooms in on his face as the scene fades to Hermione standing outside of the tent cold and keeping watch. The scene then shifts to the inside of the tent where Harry asleep but stirring. He opens his mouth but Voldemorts voice comes out of it.

HARRY
Grindewald is the key. Grindewald!

Harry jumps up and looks around the tent. Hermione comes rushing inside.

HERMIONE
Harry are you alright?

HARRY
Who is Grindewald? He’s looking for him.

HERMIONE
He’s the dark wizard Dumbledore defeated years ago. Why would he be looking for him?

HARRY
I don’t know….he was looking at that tombstone you stopped at when we first got there. The one with the symbol.

HERMIONE
Are you sure?

HARRY
Yes Hermione! Listen I’ll keep watch, you find out where you saw the symbol and quick alright?

HERMIONE
Okay….

HARRY
Oh…can I borrow your wand?

Hermione hands it to Harry as she goes over to her bag and Harry walks to the opening of the tent and looks out.

HARRY
Hermione? Where are we anyway?

HERMIONE
The Forest of Dean. While you were unconscious I moved our location…you know…just in case….

HARRY
What would I do without you?

HERMIONE
Maybe you should ask Ron….

She quickly looks down and starts to read the book she pulled out as tears show in her eyes. Harry backs out of the tent slowly.

EXT. THE FOREST OF DEAN-NIGHT

Harry looks around the forest for a moment. He then begins to walk patrolling the perimeter when all of a sudden a silver light is seen in the distance moving through the tree’s. The silver object steps out from behind a tree and Harry see’s it is a SILVER DOE. The Doe stares at Harry for a moment and Harry stares back at it with amazement in his eyes. The Doe then turns to walk away.

HARRY
No…come back….!

Harry begins to run after the Doe as snow crunched beneath his feet. The Doe continues to run deeper into the forest and Harry followed. All of a sudden the Doe stops and turns to look at Harry once more. Then just like that the Doe vanishes.

HARRY
Lumos!

Harry raises Hermione’s wand and notices a frozen pond right where the Doe was standing. He walked up slowly to the pond and looked into it. Stuck in the midst of the pond is the sword of Gryffindor. Harry’s eyes open in surprise as he stares at the sword. Harry turns around to check if there was any sign of anyone else in the woods. He then turns back around to the pond.

HARRY
Accio sword!

Nothing happens. Harry sighs as he realizes what he must do. He starts to take off his clothes until he was only in his underwear and the locket. He points Hermione’s wand at the pond.

HARRY
Diffindo!

CRACK the surface of the pond cracks. Harry takes a deep breath and dives into the pond. Harry swims towards the sword, his hand outstretched as he gets closer to it. Harry grabs the handle of the wand and tries to swim back upward but the locket starts to glow and begins to pull him down further. Harry kicks in panick as he is slowly being pulled deeper into the pond as a HAND reaches down and grabs the locket off of Harry’s neck before grabbing his arm and pulls him out. Harry climbs out into the snow coughing up water.

RON
(Off screen)
Are you mental!

Harry looks up and the camera pans to show Ron standing there in front of him holding the locket and the sword in his hands.

RON
Why the hell didn’t you take that thing off before you dived?

HARRY
It was you?

RON
Well yeah….

HARRY
You cast that doe?

RON
What? No, of course not! I thought it was you doing it!

HARRY
My Patronus is a stag!

RON
Oh yeah….

Harry starts to pick up his clothes and put them back on.

HARRY
How come you’re here?

RON
OH…well…I’ve come back. I mean…if you still…you know…want me that is. So this the sword of Gryffindor yeah?

HARRY
Yeah…but I don’t understand. How did you get here? How did you find us?

RON
Long story. I’ve been looking for you for ages it feels like. I came here and I saw that deer coming and you following. How did the sword get in that pool?

HARRY
Whoever cast the Patronus must have put it there.

RON
You reckon this is the real one?

HARRY
One way to find out, isn’t there?

Harry looks around and notices a flattish rock sitting beside a tree. He walks over and brushes the snow off of it.

HARRY
Come here. You’re going to destroy it.

RON
What…no…you don’t expect me to do it.

HARRY
You got the sword out of the pool. I think it’s supposed to be you.

Harry takes the locket out of Ron’s hand, who is looking rather frightened now.

HARRY
I’m going to open it and you stab it. Straightaway okay? Because whatevers in there will put up a fight. The bit of Riddle in the diary tried to kill me!

RON
But it can’t be opened…

HARRY
There’s one way we haven’t tried yet. I’m going to try and open it using Parseltongue.

RON
No Harry…please…that thing’s bad for me. I can’t handle it. It affects me worse than it affected you and Hermione. I can’t Harry.

HARRY
You can! You’ve just got the sword, I know it’s supposed to be you who uses it. Please, lets get rid of the damn thing Ron!

RON
(Sigh)
Tell me when…

HARRY
On three okay? One…two…three…sssaaaayyyaahhaaaseeesay

The locket pops open and inside the locket are two glass windows, within them blinked Tom Riddle’s eye. Harry holds the locket down on the rock.

HARRY
Stab.

Ron raises the sword to stab but a voice hisses from out of the Horcrux.

VOLDEMORT
I have seen your heart Ronald Weasley. I have seen your dreams and I have seen you fears….

HARRY
Stab Ron!

VOLDEMORT
Least loved by the mother who craved a daughter…. least loved by the girl who prefers your friend. Second best, always, eternally overshadowed….

HARRY
Don’t listen to him Ron! Just stab!

SWOOSH there is a flash and projected out of the locket is a hologram of Harry and Hermione.

LOCKET-HARRY
Why return? We were better without you…we laughed at your stupidity, your cowardice….

LOCKET-HERMIONE
What have you done compared to the Chosen One? What are you, compared with the Boy Who Lived? And what woman would want you? You are nothing compared to him….nothing!

The holograms lips meet and Harry looks up at Ron who has a deep gaze on his face. His eyes are now completely black.

HARRY
Ron please! Do it…do it now!

Ron screams as he runs forward with the sword high. Harry dives out of the way as the sword comes crashing down on the locket. A high scream is heard as there is a loud WHOOSH and Ron drops to his knees with tears in his eyes. Harry gets up and sits beside Ron, placing his hand on his shoulder.

HARRY
After you left she cried for a week. Probably longer. She’s like my sister. I love her like a sister and I know she feels the same way about me. It’s always been like that…I thought you knew.

Ron looks over at Harry as tears flood down his eyes.

RON
I’m sorry I left. I know I was a….

HARRY
You’ve sort of made up for it tonight, you know saving my life and all.

RON
The Deluminator Dumbledore gave me. It doesn’t just turn the lights on and off. For the past few weeks I’ve been looking around the forest where I left you. I knew there were spells up but I knew I had to try and today I heard…I heard her voice. She said my name and it came from the Deluminator. I clicked it and a light came from it and sorta went inside me. After that I knew where to find you and that’s when I Disparrated here.

HARRY
And I’m glad you’re here mate.

RON
Dumbledore must’ve known I was weak. He knew that I would be the one to run out on you.

HARRY
No. I think he knew you’d always come back.

Ron smiles at Harry and they both reach in and hug each other as the scene fades to them walking up to the tent.

HARRY
Well…here goes nothing….

INT. THE TENT-MOMENTS LATER

Hermione is reading the same book when Harry walks in.

HARRY
Hermione….

HERMIONE
Harry hey…I think I found….

She pauses as Ron walks into the tent. She drops the book and stands up. She walks up slowly to him.

RON
Hi!

He smiles at her and Hermione runs up and starts to punch him.

HERMIONE
You complete arse Ronald Weasley! You crawl back here after weeks and weeks…..where’s my wand!

Harry slowly sneaks the wand into his pocket and backs away.

HARRY
Hermione calm….

HERMIONE
Don’t you tell me what to do Harry Potter! I will not calm down. And YOU!

RON
Hermione please….

HERMIONE
I came running after you! I called you! And you come back after weeks and think it’s going to be all right!

RON
I’m sorry….

HERMIONE
Sorry! Sorry! You think that’s going to make it alright? We could have been dead! DEAD!

Ron goes in and wraps his arm around her. She bursts out to crying while gently pounding at his chest with her fist. Harry sits down on his bunk and stares down at the locket as the scene fades to Harry, Ron, and Hermione sitting around the tent deep in conversation.

HERMIONE
Snatchers you say?

RON
Yeah, they’re gangs trying to earn gold by rounding up Muggle-borns and blood traitors, there’s a reward from the Ministry for everyone captures. Guess who’s over that section of the Ministry now?

HERMIONE
Do we even have to guess?

RON
Right…it’s Umbridge. Also I was right about not saying You-Know-Who’s name wasn’t I? The names jinxed.

HARRY
Jinxed?

RON
Yeah, that’s how they track down people. Using his name breaks protective enchantments; it causes some kind of magical disturbance.

HERMIONE
That’s how those Death Eaters found us in Totenham Court Road!

RON
Exactly.

HARRY
Still doesn’t help us get any closer to finding any more Horcruxes. I mean what do we do now? Dumbledore should’ve….

HERMIONE
Oh right Harry…I’d almost forgotten!

She jumps up and grabs two books.

HERMIONE
Remember you told me to find out where I saw that symbol. Well I’ve seen it two places actually and while you and Ron were out destroying Horcruxes….

She sits the book down and on it is a picture of Grindewald and around his neck is the symbol.

HERMIONE
I was doing some light reading and I never really noticed it, but I’d always thought it to be Grindewald’s symbol, but I know now that it can’t be since the markings is on the grave we saw and that was ages before Grindewald even came along! And this
(She throws the book Dumbledore gave her down)
Dumbledore drew this exact symbol on this page in this book, even though it’s hidden in the A of his name. See.

The camera zooms in on Dumbledore’s signature in the book to show the symbol.

HARRY
I’m sure all of this is just a coiencidence Hermione. Look at what assuming Dumbledore left us things got us last time….

RON
The Deluminator turned out to be pretty useful though Harry.

HERMIONE
Also while I was reading this story. It’s really tricky but sometimes people use code to reveal something secret. See
(She points at the page)
That D is backwards and that e is upside down. I thought it was rather strange so I proceeded to write down all the letters that were odd. It spelled out Deathly Hallows.

RON
Brilliant. Not to obvious. I’m sure the people in the Ministry wouldn’t think to look at hard at any of the stories.

HERMIONE
Right, I’m sure they just used revealing spells to see if Dumbledore hid anything…when it was right under their noses.

HARRY
What are Deathly Hallows? What’s that supposed to mean?

HERMIONE
I had no idea, so I start looking through the books that I borrowed from Dumbledore’s office.
(She grabs another book and opens it)
Here Dumbledore wrote a little sidenote. The Deathly Hallows are three objects which if united will make the possessor master of Death.

RON
What are the objects?

HERMIONE
It’s doesn’t say….

HARRY
Maybe it’s in that story. What story is that anyways?

HERMIONE
The Tale of the Three Brothers.

RON
I loved that story when I was a kid!

HARRY
Well lets hear it then…

RON
Right well there were three brothers who were traveling along a road at midnight….

HERMIONE
The story says twilight Ronald.

RON
Mum always told us at midnight, I think it’s a bit spookier that way.

Hermione rolls her eyes and Ron continues telling the story.

RON
Yeah well they had reached a river….

EXT. EDGE OF THE RIVER-NIGHT

As Ron tells the story the scene fades to show the actual events. We see the three brothers standing in front of the river at night with their wants drawn.

RON
(Offscreen)
The river was too deep to wade through and too dangerous to swim across. Lucky for them they were trained in the magical arts and simply waved their wands and made a bridge appear across the treacherous water. They were halfway across when they found the path was blocked by a hooded figure. And Death spoke to them….

INT. THE TENT-SECOND LATER

The scene cuts back to the tent as Harry interrupts Ron’s story

HARRY
Wait a second. Death? You mean to tell me Death spoke to them?

RON
Yeah….

HARRY
O-kay?

HERMIONE
It’s a fairy tale, Harry!

HARRY
Yeah…right…continue on then….

RON
Right…well….

EXT. THE BRIDGE-NIGHT

The scene cuts back to the three brothers with death in front of them and the scene continues to play out as Ron speaks.

RON
(Offscreen)
Death spoke to them and he was angry that he had been cheated out of three new victims, for travelers usually drowned in the river. He pretended to congratulate them upon their magic and said that each had earned a prize for having been clever enough to evade him. The oldest brother asked for a wand more powerful than any in existence: a wand that must always win duels for its owner, a wand worthy of a wizard who had conquered Death. The second brother decided he wanted to humiliate Death and asked for the power to recall others from Death. Death picked up a stone from the riverbank and gave it to him and told him that the stone would have the power to bring back the dead. The third brother didn’t trust death however and asked for something that would enable him to go forth from the place without being followed by Death so Death handed over his own Cloak of Invisiblity. Death let them pass and eventually the brothers separated and each went their own way.

EXT. VILLAGE-EVENING

The scene fades to just the older brother standing amongst a crowd of people laughing and showing off his new wand as another wizard lay dead on the floor.

RON
The first brother traveled on for a week or more and reached a distant village where he sought out a fellow wizard with whom he had a quarrel. Natuarally, with the Elder Wand as his weapon he could not fail to win the duel that followed. Leaving his enemy dead upon the floor the oldest brother proceeded to boast loudly of the powerful wand he hand snatched from Death himself and how it made him invincible. That very night another wizard crept upon the oldest brother, took the wand, and slit the oldest brothers throat. Death had taken the first brother for his own.

HARRY
(Offscreen)
Wow this is intense….

HERMIONE
(Offscreen)
Harry shhhhhhh!

INT. SMALL COTTAGE-NIGHT

The scene fades the the next brother sitting on his bed looking at the stone in his hand.

RON
The second brother lived alone so one night he took out the stone that had the power to recall the dead and turned it thrice in his hand. A figure of the girl he had once hoped to marry, before her untimely death, had appeared beore him. But she was sad and cold and although she had returned to the mortal world she did not truly belong there and suffered. Finally he was driven mad with hopeless longing and killed himself so he can truly join her. Death had taken the second brother as his own.

HARRY
You’re a good storyteller Ron!

EXT. DESERTED ROCKY ROAD-NIGHT

The scene fades to Death walking down the road alone.

RON
Thanks…well Death searched year and years to find the third brother but was never able to find him. It was only when he had attained a great age that the younger brother finally took off the Cloak of Invisibility and gave it to his son.
(They show the younger brother, now old, walking towards Death in the middle of the street)
And then he greeted Death as an old friend and went with him gladly, and equals, as they departed this life.

INT. TENT-MOMENTS LATER

RON
And that’s it, The Tale of the Three Brothers. I told you I love that story, mum used to read it every night.

HARRY
So what are we supposed to get from the story? I mean what are the Deathly Hallows then?

Hermione
I don’t know Harry.

RON
Maybe they are the three items that Death gave to the brothers. The Elder Wand, the stone that brings people back to life, and the invisibility cloak.

HERMIONE
Don’t be silly Ronald it’s just a fairy tale.

RON
But why would Dumbledore….

HERMIONE
I don’t know! Why would Dumbledore do anything that he’s done? Listen I’m tired I’m going to bed, we can look for more clues in the morning alright?

Hermione gets up and gets in her bed and Ron does the same.

HARRY
Night guys.

Harry picks up the ‘Tales of Beedle the Bard’ book and stares at it as the scene slowly fades to a shot the tent in the evening.

INT. TENT-DAYS LATER-EVENING

The scene cuts to Hermione looking furiously through books as Ron messes with an old radio and Harry is pacing the tent.

HERMIONE
This is frustrating I can’t find anything about these ‘Deathly Hallows’ All things point to that story….

HARRY
I’ve been thinking Hermione, maybe Ron was right.

HERMIONE AND RON
What?

HARRY
When he said that those items could be what Dumbledore is trying to tell us about.

HERMIONE
I doubt it Harry….um Ron what are you doing?

RON
Trying to remember this blasted password!

HARRY
For what?

RON
Potterwatch.

HARRY
What?

RON
Didn’t I tell you about it?

HARRY
I think you failed to mention it.

RON
It’s a radio station! The only one that tells the truth about what’s going on. Nearly all the programs are following You-Know-Who’s line, all except Potterwatch. I really want you to hear it, but it’s tricky tuning in…

HERMIONE
I’m sure it’s wonderful Ronald but we really have to try and figure out what Dumbledore….

RON
That’s it Hermione!
(Ron taps the radio with his wand)
Albus!

We hear static come over the station and then the voice of Fred and George coming over the radio.

FRED
We regret to inform our listeners that the remains of Bathilda Bagshot has been discovered in Godrics Hallow. The Order of the Phoenix informs us that her body showed unmistakable signs of injuries inflicted by Dark Magic.

HARRY
Is that Fred or George?

RON
Yeah.

GEORGE
Listeners, I’d like to invite you now to join us in a minute’s silence I nmemory of Ted Tonks and Bathilda Bagshot and the other unnamed Muggles murdered by the Death Eaters.

There is a brief silence.

FRED
Now on to Romulus for our popular feature ‘Pals of Potter.’

LUPIN
Thanks, River…

RON
Hey that’s Lupin!

FRED
Romulus, do you maintain, that Harry Potter is still alive?

LUPIN
‘The Boy Who Lived’ remains a symbol of everything for which we are fighting: the triumph of good, the power of innocence, the need to keep resisting. There is no doubt at all in my mind that his death would be proclaimed as widely as possible by Death Eaters if he was dead.

GEORGE
And what would you say to Harry if you knew he was listening?

LUPIN
I’d tell him we’re all with him in spirit. I’d tell him to follow his instincts, which are good and nearly always right

Harry smiles as he says this

GEORGE
Well that brings us to the end of another Potterwatch. We don’t know when it will be possible to broadcast again, but you can be sure we shall be back.

FRED
Keep twiddling those dials: The next password will be ‘Mad-Eye’ Keep each other safe: Keep faith. Good night.

The radio falls silent.

RON
Good, eh?

HARRY
Brilliant. Now if only we can figure out what Dumbledore is trying to get us to see about these ‘Deathly Hallows’ we’ll be a step closer to finishing off Voldemort….

RON
HARRY, NO!!! The Names Taboo……

The SNEAKOSCOPE on the table in the tent starts to make noise and Harry, Ron, and Hermione freeze in their steps.

SNATCHER 1
(From outside of the tent)
Come out of there with your hands up! We know you’re in there! You’ve got half a dozen wands pointing at you and we don’t care who we curse!

Hermione points her wand at Harry at quicky blasts a spell in his face that knocks him to the ground and the half a dozen cloaked figured burst into the tent and grabbes all three of them.

INT. TENT-MOMENTS LATER

The scene cuts to three cloaked figured holding each of them and pans to Harry with a serverly swollen face.

SNATCHER 1
Now let’s see what we got here!
(He walks up to Harry)
What happened to you?

HARRY
Stung.

SNATCHER 2
What’s your name boy!

HARRY
Dudley…Vernon Dudley.

SNATCHER 2
Check the list! And who are you?

RON
Stan Shunpike

SMACK Ron is punched square in the mouth as he says this and Hermione tries to move to defend him but is held tighter.

SNATCHER 1
We know Stan Shunpike, he’s put a bit of work our way. Now what is your real name boy!!

RON
(With a mouth full of blood)
Bardy Weadley….

SNATCHER 2
He’s a Weasley. He’s a blood traiter. Now who is this pretty little lady….

HERMIONE
Penelope Clearwater

SNATCHER 1
What’s your blood status?

HERMIONE
Half Blood

SNATCHER 2
Do any of you know who used to like using the Dark Lord’s name? The Order of the Phoenix. Mean anything to you?

They all shake their head no.

SNATCHER 3
Look at this!

They all turn around and see the snatcher holding the Sword of Gryffindor.

SNATCHER 1
Well Well. Very nice.
(He takes it and looks at it)
Nice indeed. Looks goblin made….

SNATCHER 2
Look what we have here…..
(He holds up a piece of parchment that has Hermione’s picture on it)
Hermione Granger. The Mudblood who is known to be traveling with Harry Potter….

HERMIONE
That isn’t me….

The camera pans to Harry who starts shaking in pain. We start hearing a tiny whisper and SWOOSH we zoom into his scar

EXT-PRISON-MILES AWAY

We cut to Voldemort standing in front of a tall prison. He stands there for a moment looking around.

VOLDEMORT
So close….so close….

He smiles and SWOOSH he flies up higher and higher to the topmost window of the highest tower. SWOOSH he turns into smoke and flies through the tiny window of the cell

INT-CELL-MOMENTS LATER

Inside the cell is a skinny old man laying under a blanket. As Voldemort materializes back into his physical form we see that this person is a very old Grindewald. He sits up and smiles at Voldemort.

GRINDEWALD
So, you have come. I thought you would….one day. But your journey was pointless. I never had it.

VOLDEMORT
You lie!!

INT. THE TENT-NIGHT

SWOOSH we are now back in the tent where Harry is still in pain as the Snatcher approaches him.

SNATCHER 1
What’s that on your forehead, Vernon?

He reaches out to touch it.

HARRY
Don’t touch it!

SNATCHER 2
I thought you wore glasses, Potter?

SNATCHER 3
I found glasses!

SNATCHER 1
(Laughs)
Looks like we caught Harry Potter…

EXT. MALFOY MANOR-MOMENTS LATER

The scene cuts to the snatchers taking Harry, Ron, and Hermione up towards Malfoy Manor in the pouring rain. The snatchers knock on the door and enter.

INT-MALFOY MANOR-MOMENTS LATER

NARCISSA
What is this?

SNATCHER 1
We’re here to see He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named! We’ve caught Harry Potter.

Narcissa pauses and kneels down to look at Harry’s face.

SNATCHER 2
He’s a little swollen but it’s him. There’s no doubt about it. Here’s his wand.

NARCISSA
Follow me. My son Draco is home for his Easter holiday. If that is Harry Potter, he will know.

INT. MALFOY MANOR-DINING ROOM-MOMENTS LATER

The walk into the large dining room where Lucius and Draco are sitting. They both jump up when Narcissa and the Snatchers enter the room.

LUCIUS
What is this?

NARCISSA
They say they’ve got Potter. Draco, come here.

Draco slowly walks up and looks into Harry’s face.

LUCIUS
Well Draco?

DRACO
I can’t…I can’t be sure….

LUCIUS
Draco, if we are the ones who hand Potter over to the Dark Lord, everything will be forgiven. Look at him properly Draco….what do you think?

Draco leans in closer to Harry’s face.

DRACO
I don’t know….

NARCISSA
We had better be certain Lucius. If we call the Dark Lord for nothing….

LUCIUS
Contact Severus Narcissa…tell him that we possibly have the Potter. Maybe he’ll know how to cure this….hex…on the boys face so we can be sure.

Narcissa leaves to contact Snape.

LUCIUS
(He stares at Hermione)
Granger….

SNATCHER 2
We saw her picture in the Daily Prophet. Said she was the Granger girl who is friends with Potter, is this her?

DRACO
I….maybe….yeah….

We hear a door open and Lucius and Draco turn around as Bellatrix walks into the room.

BELLATRIX
What is this? What’s happened…where’s Cissy?

LUCIUS
She’s gone to contact Snape. We’re trying to find out if this is Potter or not We have identified Granger and this is the Weasley boy….

BELLATRIX
Potter? Are you sure? Well then, the Dark Lord must be informed at once…
(She pulls back her sleeve to show her Dark Mark)

LUCIUS
(He grabs her wrist)
I was about to call him! I shall summon him, Bella, Potter has been brought to my house, and it is therefore upon my authority….

BELLATRIX
Your authority! You lost your authority when you lost your wand, Lucius! How dare you! Take your hands off me!

LUCIUS
You did not capture the boy….

SNATCHER 1
Begging your pardon, Mr. Malfoy but it’s us that caught Potter and it’s us that’ll be claiming the gold….

BELLATRIX
Gold!
(Laughs and pulls out a pouch of gold with her free hand and throws it at them)
Take your gold, filthy scavenger…..

She stops laughing as she catches sight of the Sword of Gryffindor

BELLATRIX
(Whispers)
Sword….

LUCIUS
What?

BELLATRIX
That sword…give it to me!

SNATCHER 3
It’s not yours, I found it…

BAM he is knocked back by her spell.

BELLATRIX
Stupify!! Stupify!!!

All four Snatchers are thrown back on the ground from Bellatrix’s spell. She rushes and grabs the sword and holds it at Snatcher 1’s throat.

BELLATRIX
Where did you get this sword?

SNATCHER 1
How dare you…

BELLATRIX
Where did you find this sword!!?!? Snape sent it to my vault in Gringotts!

SNATCHER 1
It was in their tent.

Narcissa walks back in as he says this….

NARCISSA
What is going on…..

BELLATRIX
Cissy we have a very serious problem. If it is indeed Potter, he must not be harmed. The Dark Lord wishes to dispose of Potter himself….but if he finds out…I must…I must know….
(She looks at Harry, Ron, and Hermione)
The prisoners must be placed in the cellar, while I think what to do!

LUCIUS
This is my house Bella, you don’t give orders….

BELLATRIX
Do it! You have no idea of the danger we are in!

NARCISSA
(To the Snatchers)
Take these prisoners down to the cellar….

BELLATRIX
Wait….all except…for the mudblood….

RON
No! You can have me, keep me!!

SMACK Bellatrix hits Ron in the face.

BELLATRIX
If she dies under questioning, I’ll take you next. Blood traitor is next to Mudblood in my book. Take them downstairs and make sure they are secure, but do nothing more to them….yet…..

Harry and Ron are pulled off and Bellatrix rushes to Hermione and wrappes her arms around her neck.

BELLATRIX
Where did you get this sword. Where?

HERMIONE
We found it…we found it….

BELLATRIX
LIAR!!

She pushes Hermione too the ground and points her wand at her.

BELLATRIX
CRUCIO!!!

Hermione screams and shakes in pain and the scene cuts to the snatchers throwing Ron and Harry into the cellar and shutting the door.

EXT. MALFOY MANOR-CELLAR-MOMENTS LATER

RON
HERMIONE! HERMIONE!!!!

HARRY
Shut up Ron…we need to work out a way….

RON
HERMIONE!!!!

HARRY
We need a plan…we need to get these ropes off….

LUNA
(In the darkness)
Harry? Ron? Is that you….

They turn around and Luna walks into the light from the moon shining through the cellar.

HARRY
Luna?

LUNA
Yes, it’s me! Oh no, I didn’t want you to be caught!

HARRY
Luna, can you help us get these ropes off?

We hear Hermione scream from inside the cellar and Mr. Ollivander comes from out of the darkness.

HARRY
Mr. Ollivander?

OLLIVANDER
There’s a nail over here….

INT. MALFOY MANOR-CELLAR-NIGHT-MOMENTS LATER

The scene cuts to Harry and Ron throwing off the rope. Ron reaches in his pocket and pulls out the Deluminator, clicks it, and balls of light float around the room showing that Dean and Griphook are there aswell. We hear Hermione scream again.

RON
HERMIONE!!!

INT. MALFOY MANOR-DINING ROOM

The scene cuts to a bloodied Hermione being held against the wall by Bellatrix who now is holding a knife at her neck.

BELLATRIX
You are lying, filthy Mudblood, and I know it! You have been inside my vault at Gringotts! Tell the truth, tell the truth!!!!

HERMIONE
No…I swear….

BELLATRIX
What else did you take? What else have you got? Tell me the truth or, I swear, I shall run you through with this knife. WHAT ELSE DID YOU TAKE!!

HERMIONE
NOTHING….

SLAM Hermione is thrown to the floor again.

BELLATRIX
CRUCIO!!!!!!!!!!!

INT. MALFOY MANOR-CELLAR

As Hermione screams again we cut back to the cellar where Ron is angrily banging on the door.

LUNA
There’s no way out Ron. Mr. Ollivander has been here for a long time, he’s tried everything.

We hear Hermione scream again and Ron, with tears in his eyes, continues to bang on the door.

RON
HERMIONE!!! HERMIONE!!! SOMEBODY HELP HER!!!!

INT. MALFOY MANOR-DINING ROOM

Hermione is on the floor bloodied and in tears as Bellatrix stands over her with her wand.

BELLATRIX
I’m going to ask you one more time mudblood. How did you get into my vault!!

HERMIONE
We’ve never been inside your vault…it isn’t the real sword! It’s a copy, just a copy!

BELLATRIX
A copy? A likely story!!

LUCIUS
We can find out easily if it is or not….Draco, fetch the goblin, he can tell us whether the sword is real or not.

Draco turns to leave and the scene cuts back to the cellar

INT. MALFOY MANOR-CELLAR

HARRY
Someone’s coming…..
(Harry runs over to the goblin and whispers in his ear)
Griphook you must tell them that sword’s a fake, they mustn’t know it’s the real one….please….

Ron clicks the Deluminator and the lights in the room goes out as we hear Draco’s voice from the other side of the door.

DRACO
Stand back. Line up against the back wall. Don’t try anything, or I’ll kill you!

The door bursts open and Draco walks in, grabs the goblin, and storms out slamming the door behind him. Ron clicks the Deluminator again and the lights pop back on and standing in the room with them is Dobby.

HARRY
Dobby?

DOBBY
Harry Potter. Dobby has come to rescue you.

HARRY
But how did you?
(Hermione screams again)
You can Disapparate out of this cellar?

DOBBY
Yes, sir!

HARRY
Can you take humans with you?

Dobby nods

HARRY
Right. Dobby, I want you to grab Luna, Dean, and Mr. Ollivander, and take them….take them too…..

RON
Lupin and Tonks. Shell Cottage on the outskirts of Tinworth.

HARRY
And then come back. Can you do that Dobby?

DOBBY
Of course, Harry Potter.

LUNA
Harry we want to help you!

DEAN
We can’t leave you here!

HARRY
Go, both of you! We’ll see you at Lupins!

WORMTAIL
(Outside of the door)
What’s going on in there?

HARRY
Go…now!!!

All three of them hold hands and Dobby grabes Luna’s hand and SWOOSH they are gone

WORMTAIL
Stand back. Stand away from the door. I am coming in.

The door comes open and before he realizes it Ron and Harry tackles Wormtail. Harry puts his hand over Wormtails mouth so he can’t speak and Ron grabs one arm while Wormtails silver hand is around Harry’s throat.

HARRY
You’re going to kill me? After I saved your life? You owe me, Wormtail!
Wormtail stares at Harry and his hand loosens its grip and Harry backs away from him.

RON
And we’ll have that…
(He takes Wormtails wand)

All of a sudden Wormtails fingers start to move furiously. Wormtails eyes widen in horror as his silver hand turns and grabs him by his neck throwing him and up and pinning him on the wall as his fingers embed themselves into the stone wall.

HARRY
No….

Harry and Ron both try to pull the hand off of Wormtails neck as he hangs on the wall, being chocked by his own hand. Tears rush out of his eyes as his face becomes redder and redder.

RON
Relashio!

Ron points the wand at the hand but nothing happens. Soon Wormtail becomes silent and his eyes go blank. Ron and Harry step back and stare at Wormtail as he hangs lifeless on the wall. Hermione screams again and Ron and Harry rush out of the Cellar.

INT. MALFOY MANOR-DINING ROOM

The scene cuts to Bellatrix still holding on to Hermione and Griphook examines the sword

BELLATRIX
Well? Is it the true sword?

GRIPHOOK
No. It is a fake.

BELLATRIX
Are you sure? Quite sure?

GRIPHOOK
Yes.

BELLATRIX
Good.

She tosses Hermione to the side and pulls up the sleeve of her dress.

BELLATRIX
Now we shall call the Dark Lord

She touches the middle of the Dark Mark with her wand and the scene cuts to Harry and Ron reaching the top of the stairs. Harry stops, grabs his scar, and falls down in pain.

RON
Harry….Harry….

The camera focues on Harry and SWOOSH

INT. PRISON-CELL

The scene cuts back to Voldemort standing in Grindewalds cell.

GRINDEWALD
Kill me, then, Voldemort, I welcome death! But my death will not bring you what you seek…There is so much you do not understand….

He laughs as Voldemort realizes that he has been summoned. He looks out of the window behind him for a second and then turns back to Grindewald

GRINDEWALD
Kill me, then! You will not win, you cannot win! That wand will never, ever be yours…..

Voldemort screams out in rage as he pulls out his wand and the whole room turns green and SWOOSH we’re back with Harry and Ron at the entrance of the Dining Room.

INT. MALFOY MANOR-DINING ROOM

RON
Harry are you okay?

HARRY
Fine….

The scene cuts to Bellatrix with a smile on her face as she looks over at Hermione

BELLATRIX
I think we can dispose of the Mudblood.

She points her wands at Hermione and SLAM the doors fly open and Ron runs in with Wormtails wand pointed out.

RON
Expelliarmus!!!

SMACK Bellatrix’s wand flies out of her hand and Harry runs to catch it. Lucius, Narcissa, and Draco turn around quickly.

HARRY
Stupefy!!!!

BOOM Lucius is thrown back onto a portrait on the wall and Harry throws himself to the floras Draco and Narcissa throw a spell his way.

BELLATRIX
STOP OR SHE DIES!!!

Harry looks up from over the table and Bellatrix is holding on to Hermione who seems unconscious and holding a silver knife at her throat.

BELLATRIX
Drop your wands. Drop them, or we’ll see exactly how filthy her blood is!
(She presses the knife against her throat and beads of blood appear where the knife is)
I said drop them!!

HARRY
All right!

He drops Bellatrix’s wand and Ron drops Wormtails.

BELLATRIX
Good! Draco, pick them up! The Dark Lord is coming, Harry Potter! Your death approaches. Now Cissy I think we ought to tie these little heroes up again.

There is a grinding noise heard. All of them look up at the crystal chandelier and with a jingle it begans to fall. The chandelier is directly above Bellatrix who drops Hermione and quickly jumping out of the way when BAM it crashes on top of Hermione and the Goblin. Glass is thrown everywhere as Ron runs to get Hermione and Griphook from under the wreckage. Not wasting a second Harry dashes at Draco taking the three wands out of his hand and knocking Draco onto the ground. Narcissa runs over to help him up and then looks up to where the chandelier once hung and hanging on the chain is Dobby.

NARICSSA
Dobby! You! You dropped the chandelier?

Dobby smiles as he hops down from the chain.

DOBBY
You must not hurt Harry Potter!

BELLATRIX
Kill him, Cissy!

Narcissa points her wand at Dobby but he is to quick and SWISH her wand is thrown across the room by his power.

BELLATRIX
You dirty little monkey! How dare you take a witch’s wand, how dare you defy your masters!?!

DOBBY
Dobby has no master! Dobby is a free elf, and Dobby has come to save Harry Potter and his friends.

HARRY
(He grabs his scar)
Oh no…he’s close…RON, catch…and GO!

He throws a wand to Ron who is holding on the Hermione and they Disapparate. Harry picks up Griphook and Dobby runs and grabs Harry’s hand. They begin to Disapparate and Bellatrix throws the silver knife in their direction and SWOOSH they were gone. Bellatrix scream out in anger and fear as black smoke begin to appear in the middle of the room and Voldemort appears.

BELLATRIX
My lord…..

EXT. SHELL COTTAGE-NIGHT

The scene cuts to a shot of the sea and pans up to a large yard with a house in the distance. SWOOSH Harry, Ron, Hermione, Dobby, and Griphook appear and fall hard onto the ground.

HARRY
Griphook are you all right?

Griphook does a slight whimper.

HARRY
Dobby, is this Shell Cottage? Have we come to the right place….

He turns around and see’s Dobby lying beside him with the silver knife in his chest.

HARRY
DOBBY!!

Harry rushes to Dobby’s side.

HARRY
Dobby….no…HELP!!! HELP!!!

We see figured start to run towards them from the house. Dobby looks up to Harry and smiles and we see the light slowly fading from his eyes.

HARRY
Dobby, no, don’t die, don’t die….

DOBBY
Harry….Potter….

And he was silent. Dobby let out his last breathe and was dead.

HARRY
(Whispers)
Dobby…Dobby no….

Lupin, Tonks, Dean, and Luna all appear running up to Harry.

LUPIN
Harry….

The scene cuts to Harry, Lupin, Tonks, Dean, Luna, Hermione and Ron standing around a mound of dirt where Dobby had just been buried.

LUNA
Thank you so much, Dobby, for rescuing me from that cellar. It’s so unfair that you had to die, when you were so good and brave. I’ll always remember what you did for us. I hope you’re happy now.

RON
Yeah…thanks Dobby….

HARRY
Good-bye Dobby.

All of them turn to leave except Harry. As they walk off Harry takes a rock and starts to engrave something in it with one of the wands. He then sits down the stone, sighs, and turns to walk away. The camera slowly pans down to show the writing on the stone:
HERE LIES DOBBY, A FREE ELF.

INT. SHELL COTTAGE-BATHROOM-MOMENTS LATER

The scene cuts to Harry looking at himself in the mirror. The scene then slowly fades too….

INT. SHELL COTTAGE-BEDROOM-MOMENTS LATER

Harry sitting in the bedroom with Ron and Hermione

HARRY
I think the Deathly Hallows are those three items in the story.

HERMIONE
Harry….

HARRY
He was after a wand. I saw him. He was looking for Grindewald and he wanted the master wand but Grindewald didn’t have it.

HERMIONE
There’s no way we can really be sure Harry….

HARRY
I think we can….

INT. SHELL COTTAGE-OLLIVANDERS BEDROOM-MOMENTS LATER

Harry slowly opens the door and walks into Ollivanders room as he sits staring at the wall. Hermione and Ron slowly follow behind him

HARRY
Mr. Ollivander, I’m sorry to disturb you.

OLLIVANDER
My dear boy. You rescued us. I thought we would die in that place. I can never thank you….never thank you…enough.

HARRY
I need some help

OLLIVANDER
Anything….

HARRY
What do you know…about the Deathly Hallows?

Ollivander looks up at Harry and stares at him quietly

HARRY
What are they?

OLLIVANDER
Legend states that they are The Elder Wand, The Resurrection Stone, and The Cloak of Invisibility.

RON
I knew it…

HERMIONE
Ron shhhhhhh

OLLIVANDER
Together they make the Deathly Hallows. Three objects which, if united, will make the possessor master of Death.

HARRY
You say cloak of invisibility but there are more than one of those…

OLLIVANDER
Ah but the third Hallow is a true Cloak of Invisibility. It is a cloak that really and truly renders the wearer completely invisibly, and endures eternally, giving constant and impenetrable concealment, no matter what spells are cast at it.

Harry looks up at Hermione who looks shocked at this information.

Harry pulls out his broken wand.

HARRY
Can you fix my wand sir?

OLLIVANDER
No…I am so very sorry but a wand that has suffered this degree of damage cannot be repaired by any means that I know of.

Harry sighs and pulls out two of the wands he took from Draco and hands one of them to Ollivander.

OLLIVANDER
Ah Hawthorn and unicorn hair. This was the wand of Draco Malfoy.

HARRY
Was?

OLLIVANDER
If you took it then it may be yours. The manner of taking matters of course. In general where a wand has been won, its allegiance will change.

HARRY
Tell me about the Elder Wand….

OLLIVANDER
I…what….?

HARRY
You-Know-Who is interested in it, isn’t he?

OLLIVANDER
I….how…how do you know this?

HARRY
He wanted you to tell him how to overcome the connection between our wands. You told him about the twin cores…you said he just had to borrow another wizards wand….

OLLIVANDER
Yes….

HARRY
But it didn’t work. Mine still beat the borrowed wand. Do you know why that is?

OLLIVANDER
I had never heard of such a thing. Your wand performed something unique that night….

HARRY
He came to you for information about the Elder Wand after that night didn’t he?

OLLIVANDER
Yes…he wanted to know everything. He was seeking another, more powerful wand, as the only way to conquer yours since you two could not battle with the same twin cores. The Dark Lord no longer seeks the Elder Wand only for your destruction however, Mr. Potter. He is determined to posses it because he believes it will make him truly invulnerable.

HARRY
You told You-Know-Who that a wizard named Grigorovitch had the Elder Wand didn’t you?

OLLIVANDER
But how do you know….

HARRY
That’s all I needed to know Mr. Ollivander. Thank you so much.

OLLIVANDER
He was torturing me! The Cruciatus Curst…you have no idea….

HARRY
I do…I really do. Please get some rest. Thank you for telling me all of this.

Ron, Hermione, and Harry all leave the room and close the door silently as Ollivander slowly lays down.

INT. SHELL COTTAGE-BEDROOM

They scene cuts to them walking into their bedroom and closing the door behind them.

HARRY
It all makes sense….

HERMIONE
I can’t believe this…this is…

HARRY
Gregorovitch had the Elder Wand a long time ago. I saw You-Know-Who trying to find him and when he tracked him down he found out that Grindewald had stolen it from him.

RON
Grindewald?

HARRY
Yes and Grindewald used the Elder Wand to become powerful. At the height of his power, when Dumbledore knew he was the only one who could stop him, he dueled Grindewald and beat him, and he took the Elder Wand.

RON
Dumbledore had the Elder Wand? But then…where is it now?

EXT. HOGWARTS GROUNDS-THE WHITE TOMB

The scene cuts to a shot of Hogwarts and then it pans over to Dumbledore’s Tomb. We then see Voldemort slowly walk into the frame and towards his tomb. As he slowly approaches the tomb he points his wand at it and SWOOSH a light hits the tomb slowly opening it. Inside we see Dumbledore’s body and beneath his folded hands lay his wand. Voldemort slowly reaches out and takes the wand from Dumbledore’s grip. He holds it up to examine it and and lets out a laugh.

INT. SHELL COTTAGE-BEDROOM

The scene cuts back to Harry with his hand on his scar.

HARRY
He has the wand….he’s at Hogwarts.

RON
Harry how long have you known? We could’ve been there…

HARRY
No…Dumbledore didn’t want me to have it. He didn’t want me to take it. He wanted me to get the Horcruxes.

RON
But it’s the unbeatable wand, Harry!

HARRY
I’m not supposed to….I’m supposed to get the Horcruxes….

Ron and Hermione cast a look at each other as the scene slowly fades….

EXT. SHELL COTTAGE-NOON

Harry is sitting on a ledge overlooking the ocean. He stares out peacefully at the sea as the waves crash on the ledge. He picks up one of the shells in the sand and stares at it before throwing it into the waves below.

INT. SHELL COTTAGE-BEDROOM-MOMENTS LATER

The scene cuts to Harry standing in the room with Griphook who is sitting at a table.

HARRY
I need some help Griphook, and you can give it to me.

GRIPHOOK
What is it?

HARRY
I need to break into a Gringotts vault

GRIPHOOK
Break into a Gringotts vault? It is impossible.

HARRY
Remember that day in our first year where you took Hagrid and I to that vault to lock away the stone? Well it was broken into…

GRIPHOOK
The vault in question was empty at the time. Its protection was minimal.

HARRY
Well, the vault we need to get into isn’t empty, and I’m guissing its protection will be pretty powerful. It belongs to the Lestranges.

GRIPHOOK
You have no chance….

HARRY
I’m not trying to get myself any treasure, this isn’t for personal gain. Can you believe that?

GRIPHOOK
What do you seek within the Lestrange’s vault? The sword that lies inside it is fake. You have the real one. I think that you already know this. You asked me to lie for you back there….

HARRY
I don’t think the fake sword is the only this in there. Perhaps you’ve seen the other things….?

GRIPHOOK
It is against our code to speak of the secrets of Gringotts. We have a duty to the objects placed in our care, which were, so often, wrought by our fingers…

HARRY
Listen I’m not asking for much. Will you please help us. We haven’t got a hope of breaking in without a goblins help. You’re our one chance

GRIPHOOK
If I decide to help you Harry Potter we must discuss payment….

HARRY
How much do you want?

GRIPHOOK
I don’t want your gold. I want….The sword of Godric Gryffindor.

HARRY
(Taken aback)
I’m sorry but you can’t have that….

GRIPHOOK
Then we have a problem….

INT. SHELL COTTAGE-LIVING ROOM-MOMENTS LATER

HERMIONE
You asked him what! Why did you do that Harry!

HARRY
I think there is a Horcrux in the Lestranges vault. Bellatrix was terrified when she thought we’d been in there. What did she think we’d seen, what else did she think we might have taken? Something she was petrified You-Know-Who would find out about.

RON
And the only way he will help us is if we promise him the sword of Gryffindor?

HARRY
Right.

HERMIONE
We need to offer him something else then, something just as valuable.

RON
Brillaint. I’ll go and get one of our other ancient goblin-made swords and you can gift wrap it

HARRY
Wait a minuet…maybe we can give it to him…

HERMIONE
Harry we need the sword to destroy the other Hor…

HARRY
I know hear me out. We’ll tell him he can have the sword after he’s helped us get into that vault…but we’ll be careful to avoid telling him exactly when he can have it.

RON
Hey that’s an idea!

HERMIONE
Harry, we can’t….

HARRY
He can have it after we’ve used it on all of the Horcruxes. I’ll make sure he gets it then. I’ll keep my word.

HERMIONE
But that could be years!

HARRY
I know that, but he needn’t. I won’t be lying….really…

Tonks and Lupin walk into the room and they’re carrying a little baby.

TONKS
He’s awake!!

Hermione squeals and runs over to Tonks who sits down and pulls the blanket from over the babies head who has bright purple hair.

HERMIONE
Oh he looks just like you Professor Lupin….

LUPIN
I would hope not…I think he looks more like his mother….

TONKS
Little Teddy Remus Lupin…you’re going to be a great little wizard aren’t you.

LUPIN
Do you want to hold him Harry?

HARRY
Sure…yeah….

Harry walks over and picks up little Teddy. He looks down at the baby who stares up at him with a smile.

LUPIN
Dora and I have been talking Harry and we thought…

The both grab each others hands happily

LUPIN
We want you to be Teddy’s godfather.

HARRY
(Shocked)
M-me?

TONKS
Of course Harry…I can’t think of no one better to be his godfather than you.

HARRY
I….I don’t know what to say….

LUPIN
Just say you’ll be his godfather.

HARRY
Of course I will!

Teddy hair begins to change before Harry’s eyes and now is a bright red color. Harry smiles down on the baby as the scene fades….

INT. SHELL COTTAGE-KITCHEN-EVENING

The scene cuts to Lupin, Tonks, Harry, Ron, Hermione, Luna, and Dean sitting around the kitchen table enjoying dinner.

TONKS
Now that Ollivander’s gone one of you can have his room…

HARRY
On no I don’t mind sleeping on the couch….

The camera pans over to Luna talking to Dean

LUNA
…and tiny little ears, a bit like hoppo’s Daddy says, only purple and hairy. And if you want to call them you have to hum; they prefer a waltz, nothing too fast.

DEAN
Right…..

HERMIONE
Nice tiara you have on there Luna.

LUNA
Oh why thank you. My dad made it for me. He’s trying re-create the lost diadem of Ravenclaw.

Griphook enters into the kitchen.

GRIPHOOK
Harry Potter, a word with you please!

HARRY
Right…I’ll be right back…

He excuses himself and follows Griphook into the other room.

INT. SHELL COTTAGE-LIVING ROOM-MOMENTS LATER

GRIPHOOK
I will help you Harry Potter but do I have your word that you will give me the sword of Gryffindor if I help you

HARRY
Yes

GRIPHOOK
Then shake

Harry and Griphook shakes hands.

GRIPHOOK
Good…good…well you and your little friends meet me in my bedroom tonight.

INT. SHELL COTTAGE-STUDY-MOMENTS LATER

The scene cuts to Harry standing in the study and Lupin walking in and closing the door behind him.

LUPIN
I wanted a private word with you Harry. It hasn’t been easy to get an opportunity with the cottage this full of people.

HARRY
Anything wrong?

LUPIN
Harry you’re planning something with Griphook. I know you are but the question is what is it?

HARRY
I can’t tell you sir…I’m sorry….

LUPIN
Then I have to say this. If you have struck any kind of bargain with Griphook, and most particularly if that bargain involves treasure, you must be exceptionally careful. Goblin notions of ownership, payment, and repayment are not the same as ours.

HARRY
What do you mean?

LUPIN
We are talking about a different breed of being Harry. Dealings between wizards and goblins have been fraught for centuries. Goblins feel that wizards cannot be trusted in matters of gold and treasure, that they have no respect for goblin ownership.

HARRY
I respect….

LUPIN
All I am saying is to be very careful what you promise goblins Harry. It would be less dangerous to break into Gringotts than to renege on a promise to a goblin.

HARRY
I’ll keep that in mind sir…

LUPIN
Harry about this mission…

HARRY
I already told you sir, Dumbledore didn’t want me to tell anyone…

LUPIN
I could help….

HARRY
And leave your wife and kid here alone?

LUPIN
Harry you have to understand….

HARRY
No! Parents shouldn’t leave their kids…unless they have too! We’ll be fine sir...we’ve made it this far haven’t we?

LUPIN
(Looking defeated)
The person standing before me isn’t the same child I taught in his third year. Your parents would be proud Harry, I know I sure am.

He gives a slight smile and turns to exit. Harry watches him as he leaves as the scene cuts to a night shot of Shell Cottage and pans down to show Griphook walking away from the house being followed by Harry, Ron, and Hermione

EXT. SHELL COTTAGE-NIGHT

RON
I kinda got used to being on a break…I’ll miss it here.

HERMIONE
Yeah well atleast you don’t have to drink polyjuice potion to turn into Bellatrix Lestrange to break into Gringotts….

HARRY
It’ll be fine Hermione. I’m glad we found a few strands of her hair on your clothes….

HERMIONE
No Harry! Plus I have to use her evil wand that you took from Draco. She killed Sirius with this thing…and tortured Neville’s parents…

HARRY
It’s all for a good cause, you know this Hermione

HERMIONE
I know…doesn’t mean I have to like it….

EXT. DIAGON ALLEY-FEW DAYS LATER

The scene cuts to a wide shot of DIAGON ALLEY. The camera then pans to a small alleyway where we see Bellatrix (Who is really Hermione in disguise) readjusting her wardrobe while Harry and Griphook keeping an eye out. Ron is disguised as another person aswell

HARRY
Now remember Hermione we’ll be under the invisibility cloak next to you the whole time…

HERMIONE
Yeah yeah….can we just get this over with?

RON
I’m here for ya Hermione…great disguise you gave me by the way

HERMIONE
I do my best….

They throw the invisibility cloak over themselves and Hermione walks into the streets of Diagon Alley as Bellatrix Lestrange looking very uncomfortable and Ron follows her. Lots of eyes full of fear follow her. And old bandaged man rushes towards them.

OLD MAN
My children! Where are my children? What have you done to them!!!!

He rushes to attack her and Ron sends a spell knocking the man back.

TRAVERS
Why, Madam Lestrange!

They turn around and see TRAVERS walking towards them.

GRIPHOOK
(Under the invisibility cloak)
It’s Travers….

HERMIONE
And what do you want?

GRIPHOOK
Tell her he’s another death eater!

TRAVERS
I merely sought to greet you, but if my presence is not welcome….

HERMIONE
(She stands there for a second looking confused until Harry tells her the information)
Oh…OH…no no no not at all, Travers. How are you?

TRAVERS
Well I confess I am surprised to see you out and about, Bellatrix.

HERMIONE
Really? Why?

TRAVERS
Well I heard that the inhabitants of Malfoy Manor were confined to the house, after the…ah…escape.

HERMIONE
The Dark Lord forgives those who have served him most faithfully in the past…Perhaps your credit is not as good with him as mine is, Travers.

TRAVERS
Indeed….oddly enough though Bellatrix…who’s wand are you using at the moment? I heard that your own was…

HERMIONE
I have my wand here. I don’t know what rumors you have been listening to, Travers, but you seem sadly misinformed.

lcbaseball22 April 28th, 2008 1:29 pm

Re: Fan Scripts: Script your own version of Harry Potter
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by Phrozenone (Post 4997293)
tsk tsk tsk for shame....you should know that Scrimgeour was in this section of the book (as well as Mr. Percy Weasley I might add) I, of course, wrote him out just in case he isn't in the film and I moved the conversation between Tonks and Lupin from the end after Dumbledore died to here since I never really liked it there in the first place (And since Bill getting injured kind of triggered the convo...and there's no Bill...why not move it up?)

Ah but remember...Dumbledore only told Harry who made the prophecy...not who actually walked into the room while the prophecy was being made. Wonder how he's going to find that one out.... :p

Ah yes, how could I have forgotten all that :whistle:

Anyways, I don't have much to comment on, just a few things:

-I like that you actually gave Sanguini a line as opposed to the Book, and it was kind-of Funny too, in a sick way

-Not sure if I like the Harry/Ginny scene or not :shrug:

-I do love your decision to move up the Tonk/Lupin convo :tu:

-Personally, I would CUT Trelawny, I HATED her in BOTH the Books and Movies :p


Well, that's it, really your WHOLE Party and Christmas at the Burrow was Great, but where's the ATTACK??? :p

Anyways, as always GREAT JOB, and I look forward to your next part! :cool:

Montse April 28th, 2008 3:46 pm

Re: Fan Scripts: Script your own version of Harry Potter
 
[quote .Warning this is a LONG one. [/quote]
Well,I have not finished yet,one of my girls is sick and that does interfere with me checking the threads.However ,when I am done,which may take a while ,I will certainly give you feedback :p,so far,i have liked what i have read!!!

So...you are cutting Xeno,and have Ron tell the tale of the three brothers.I do like it like that.I know Xeno is a great funny character,but some time could be saved like this and avoid yet another close escape.I rather have it this way ,you know.

Phrozenone May 17th, 2008 6:41 am

Re: Fan Scripts: Script your own version of Harry Potter
 
Here's the next section for HBP...as always let me know what you think.

Quote:

INT. HOGWARTS-CORRIDOR-AFTERNOON

The scene cuts to a shot of a piece of parchment that reads ‘APPARITION LESSONS’ and pans back to show a crowd of students standing around it, some writing their names the sign in sheet under it. Seamus, Neville, and Harry are shown standing in the midst of the crowd. Ron is seen signing his name on the list and then proceeds to walk back towards them.

SEAMUS
How cool will it be when you can just…
(Snaps his fingers)
And then you’ll in another place almost instantly.

NEVILLE
Doesn’t sound to fun to me actually….

SEAMUS
Yeah because you’re afraid you’ll leave your head behind Longbottom…

RON
Glad I’ll be of age to take the apparition tests… I’d better pass the first time through! How hard can it be….I mean even Fred and George managed to pass their first times…

Lavender sneaks up behind Ron and covers his eyes with her hands.

LAVENDER
Guess who, Won Won?

RON
Do I even have too?

LAVENDER
How come you aren’t wearing the Christmas present I gave you?

RON
I…ugh…terrible luck Lavender you see…I wore it every moment after I got it but I took it off once to help dad with something and could never find it…

LAVENDER
Well that’s alright I have another one….

RON
No…no need for that...I’m sure I’ll find it. Let’s just…walk this way….

Ron quickly pulls Lavender away from his now laughing friends. As they walk away Hermione can be seen walking towards them. As they pass each other Hermione and Lavender cast a nasty look at each other and Ron looks down. Hermione keeps walking towards Harry, Neville, and Seamus.

HARRY
Hermione…hey…how was your Christmas.

HERMIONE
Just fine thanks…and yours?

HARRY
Alright….mind if I have a word? I’ll see you two in class….

Harry and Hermione begin to walk away from the crowd of people.

HARRY
I told Mr. Weasley and Lupin about that whole Snape and Draco conversation I overheard…..

HERMIONE
How is Lupin?

HARRY
Not great…he’s living underground and apparently Tonks is in love with him….

HERMIONE
Yeah I ran into Ginny earlier and she told me about that.

HARRY
Really? What else did Ginny tell you?

HERMIONE
Nothing…why?

HARRY
Oh just curious…just….yeah…so Lupin…he told me about the werewolf who originally bit him.

HERMIONE
Really….who was it?

HARRY
Some werewolf named Fenrir Greyback…you ever heard of him?

HERMIONE
Yes…and so have you Harry….remember?

HARRY
Well yeah I just told you…

HERMIONE
No before that…remember back in Knockturn Alley. Draco told Borgin that Greyback was an old family friend and that he’d be checking up on Borgin’s progress.

HARRY
(shocked)
I forgot! But doesn’t this prove that Malfoy’s a Death Eater, how else could he be in contact with Greyback and telling hi m what do do?

HERMIONE
It is pretty suspicious…unless…..

HARRY
Oh, come on, you can’t get round this one Hermione!

HERMIONE
Listen Harry now isn’t the time to worry about Draco. You missed the chance to ask Slughorn about the Horcruxes at the Christmas Party. I think you should really focus on getting that information before Dumbledore calls you for another lesson.

HARRY
Well Ron thinks I should just wait around after class…

HERMIONE
Well if Won Won thinks that, you’d better do it.

HERMIONE
Hermione, can’t you….

HERMIONE
No!

She continues to walk towards class as Harry shrugs and follows her.

INT. HOGWARTS-POTIONS CLASS-MOMENTS LATER

The scene cuts to Slughorn standing in front of the class.

SLUGHORN
In front of each of you is a phial which contains a certain poison. Now for today’s lesson I want you to create an antidote for the poison. Good luck, and don’t’ forget your protective gloves!

HERMIONE
(Whispers to Harry)
It’s a shame that the Prince won’t be able to help you much with this, Harry. You have to understand the principles involved this time.

She gets up and walks to the cabinet to collect ingredients. Harry flips through the Advances Potions Book as Ron leans in to whisper to him.

RON
You sure the Prince hasn’t got any tips?

HARRY
I don’t see any…just great…..

Harry looks up and notices Slughorn smiling at him as if he’s waiting for him to begin. Harry glances over at Ron who looks just as nervous as he and watches Hermione as she happily places all the ingredients in front of her to begin. The scene fades to later on in the class where most of the class as bubbling cauldrons in front of them. Hermione continues to work on her antidote and we see a few explosions coming from other students cauldrons. Harry has one head on his head as if he’s frustrated as he continues to flip through his book.

SLUGHORN
Two minuets left everyone!

Now we see the actual text in the book as Harry fingers stroll down the page. He stops on a line and begins to read it under his breathe.

HARRY
Just shove a bezoar down their throats….a bezoar?

He looks up and notices Slughorn looking down at his watch. Harry jumps up quickly and runs over to the cupboard and starts pushing aside a bunch of items. He finds a box labled ‘BEZOARS’ and opens it and pulls one out.

SLUGHORN
Times…UP! Everyone stop working and I will walk around and examine the work.

Harry sits back down in his seat as Slughorn walks over to Hermione and examines her work.

SLUGHORN
Very good, Ms. Granger

HERMIONE
Thank you sir!

SLUGHORN
And what do you have for me, Harry?

HARRY
Oh…um…

Harry opens his hand and we see the small brown ball in his palm.

SLUGHORN
You’ve got nerve, boy!

He grabs it and holds it up for the class to see.

SLUGHORN
Oh, you’re like your mother. A bezoar, a stone taken from the stomach of a goat, would certainly act as an antidote to all these potions!

Harry breaths a sigh of relief and looks over at Ron who also has a big smile on his face. He looks over at Hermione who looks a bit angry and the scene cuts to everyone grabbing their books and leaving class. Harry waits behind as Ron walks out and closes the door behind him.

SLUGHORN
Great job today as usual Harry m’boy! You should get going or you’ll be late for your next lesson!

HARRY
Sir, I wanted to ask you something.

SLUGHORN
Ask away, then, my dear boy, ask away….

HARRY
Sir, I was wondering what you know about…about Horcruxes?

Slughorn stops in his tracks and looks up slowly at Harry with a look of horror on his face.

SLUGHORN
What did you say?

HARRY
I asked whether you know anything about Horcruxes, sir. You see…

SLUGHORN
Dumbledore put you up to this. Dumbledore’s shown you that….memory, hasn’t he?

HARRY
Well…yes…

SLUGHORN
Well if you’ve seen that memory, Harry, you’ll know that I don’t know anything…ANYTHING…about Horcruxes.

HARRY
Sir, I just thought there might be a bit more to….

SLUGHORN
Did you!

He grabs his briefcase and starts to walk towards the exit of the class.

SLUGHORN
Then you were wrong, weren’t you? WRONG!

He slams the door behind himself and we see a shot of Harry standing in the middle of the class looking a bit shocked. The scene then cuts to Harry walking into Defense Against the Dark Arts and taking a seat next to Ron.

INT. HOGWARTS-DEFENSE AGAINST THE DARK ARTS-MOMENTS LATER

SNAPE
Late again, Potter. Ten points from Gryffindor.

Seamus raises his hand as a few Slytherians chuckle at Harry.

SEAMUS
Sir! I’ve been wondering, how do you tell the difference between an Inferius and a ghost? Because there was something in the paper about an Inferious….

SNAPE
No, there wasn’t….

RON
(Whispering to Harry)
Well?

HARRY
No luck…he stormed out on me…..

SNAPE
Since Potter seems to have a lot to say on the subject.

Harry and Ron look up and notice Snape looking right down at them.

SNAPE
Mr. Finnegan would like to know Potter….how can we tell the difference between an Inferius and a ghost?

HARRY
Well….er…ghosts are transparent….

SNAPE
Oh, very good. Yes, it is easy to see that nearly six years of magical education have not been wasted on you, Potter. Ghosts are transparent.

Most of the class begins to laugh and Snape does a slight smirk before turning away from Harry.

SNAPE
The Inferius is a corpse that has been reanimated by a Dark wizard’s spell. It is not alive, it is merely used like a puppet to do the wizard’s bidding.

SEAMUS
Is there no way to defeat them sir?

SNAPE
Fire is known to be the most common use for fighting against the Inferius. Now enough friendly chatter all of you open your books to page two hundred and thirteen.

INT. HOGWARTS-HALLWAY-LATER THAT DAY

Everyone begins to thumb through their books as the scene cuts to a bunch of students walking down a hallway. Harry and Hermione are walking together when notices Draco, Crabbe, and Goyle all walking slowly down the hall.

HARRY
I’ll be right back…

HERMIONE
Harry…

Harry walks up within earshot of Draco, Crabbe, and Goyle.

DRACO
I don’t know how much longer, all right? It’s taking longer than I thought it would.

CRABBE
Can we atleast know….

DRACO
Look, it’s none of your business what I’m doing Crabbe, you and Goyle just do as you’re told and keep a lookout!

GOYLE
But Draco….

DRACO
That’s enough alright! Now isn’t the time to talk about it.

They both say nothing as they continue to walk and Harry stops following as Hermione walks up behind him.

HERMIONE
What was that about?

HARRY
He won’t even tell Crabbe and Goyle what he’s up too. What could he possibly be doing that he can’t even tell his best friends?

The scene cuts to the Great Hall where there are two lines of students facing each other and in front of each of them is a wooden hoop. Standing in the middle of these two groups is a TWYCROSS.

INT. THE GREAT HALL-EVENING

TWYCROSS
Now the important things to remember when Apparating are the three D’s. Destination, Determination, Deliberation! Fix your mind firmly upon the desired destination, focus your determination to occupy the visualized space, and only when I give the command turn on the spot, feeling your way into nothingness, moving with deliberation! Now, One, Two, THREE!!

The students all close their eyes and have a strained look on their face. We see Harry open one of his eyes to look around and notice that everyone else just seems to be standing. All of a sudden Neville faints and everyone opens their eyes and laugh.


TWYCROSS
Now now everyone concentrate! Lets try this again won’t we…One, Two, THREE!!!!

They close their eyes start spinning and some start falling on the floor. One student lets out of screech of pain as one student is in the hoop while one leg is still on the outside. Twycross waves his wand and there’s a puff of purple smoke and the student is back together.

TWYCROSS
That was called Splinching, or the separation of random body parts occurs when the mind is insufficiently determined. Now once again, GO!

The students close their eyes and the camera zooms in on Harry. He disappears and reappears in the circle hoop. He opens his eyes and everyone stares at him. Some look in amazement whereas Draco and his friends frown at Harry’s accomplishment.

TWYCROSS
Very good Mr. Potter, very good! Now lets go at it again why won’t we

INT. HOGWARTS-MOVING STAIRCASE-MOMENTS LATER

The scene cuts to Harry and Ron walking up the moving stairs

RON
How did you manage to do that Harry? Blimey once you turn 17 you’re going to pass the Apparation test with ease.

HARRY
I reckon I knew what to expect since I’ve already done it with Dumbledore.

RON
I forgot you’ve already done it! How is it?

HARRY
I’m not a big fan….I prefer flying

Harry and Ron continue to walk as the scene slowly fades to

INT. BOYS DORMITORY-MORNING

A shot of the names moving around the Marauder’s Map and the camera pans back to Harry looking at it as Ron is opening his birthday presents.

RON
Thanks for these Harry!

He holds up a pair of gloves and then tosses them on his bed and begins opening more presents.

HARRY
No problem birthday boy.

Harry looks back down at the map and begins scanning.

HARRY
Where is Malfoy, he doesn’t seem to be in his bed.


RON
Harry, is Hermione really going out with McLaggen? Not that I care…just haven’t seen them together much….

HARRY
Dunno…I don’t think things went very well at Slughorn’s party with those two.

RON
Good, oh wow, see what Mum and Dad got me? Blimey, I think I’ll come of age next year too…

He sits down the watch he got from his parents and notices the box of chocolate cauldrons beside Harry’s bed and picks them up.

RON
Wicked! Want one Harry?

HARRY
(Without looking up.)
No thanks…Malfoy’s gone again!

RON
Can’t have done, come on, apparation lessons today.

Ron shoves the cauldrons in his mouth and the scene cuts to Harry reading something on the bulletin board as we see Ron come down from the dormitory.

INT. GRYFFINDOR COMMON ROOM-MORNING (MOMENTS LATER)

HARRY
Ready? Let’s go, we can still catch breakfast.

RON
I’m not hungry…. Harry, I can’t stand it!

HARRY
You can’t stand what?

RON
I…I can’t stop thinking about her!

HARRY
And that stops you from going to breakfast because….

RON
I don’t think she knows I exist.

HARRY
She keeps snogging you, doesn’t she? I’m sure…

RON
Who are you talking about?

HARRY
Who are you talking about?

RON
Romilda Vane

Ron rushes over and sits on the couch with a dazed look on his face.

RON
I think I love her Harry.

HARRY
(Chuckles)
Ok, say that again with a straight face.

Ron stands up quickly and walks towards Harry.

RON
I love her, have you seen her hair, and her eyes…

HARRY
Ok Ron jokes over, drop it.

Harry turns around to walk away and Ron pulls his wand out and shoots a spell at Harry that misses him by inches. Harry turns around quickly and pulls his wand out throws the same nonverbal spell he did earlier on Ron which snatched him up in the air by his legs and has him hanging up side down and the cauldrons drop out of Ron’s hands.

HARRY
What was that for!

RON
You insulted her, Harry! You said it was a joke.

HARRY
This is insane! What’s got into…

Harry notices the box of cauldrons on the floor beneath where Ron is hanging.

HARRY
Where did you get those Chocolate Cauldrons?

RON
They were a birthday present. I offered you one, didn’t I?

HARRY
You just picked them up off the floor!

RON
Let me go Harry!

HARRY
They’re the Chocolate Cauldrons Romilda gave me before Christmas, and they’re all spiked with love potion!

RON
Romilda! Harry…do you know her? Can you introduce us?

HARRY
(laughs)
Yeah I’ll introduce you. I’m going to let you down now, okay?

RON
Ok!

Ron is lowered back down to the ground. The portrait opens and Lavender walks in.

LAVENDER
You’re late Won Won, I’ve got you a birthday…

RON
Leave me alone; Harry’s going to introduce me to Romilda Vane!

Ron pushes her out the way and walks out. Harry mouths ‘Sorry’ to her and runs out behind Ron.

INT. SLUGHORNS OFFICE-MORNING (MOMENTS LATER)

The scene cuts to Harry and Ron standing in Slughorn’s Office. Slughorn is preparing something for Ron to drink.

RON
I can’t see her Harry, is he hiding her?


HARRY
She’s on here way

RON
Really, how do I look?

SLUGHORN
Very handsome, now drink that up, it’s a tonic for the nerves, keep you calm when she arrives, you know.

RON
Bloody Brilliant!

HARRY
Thanks Professor

SLUGHORN
Don’t mention it m’boy. I’m surprised someone as gifted in Potions as yourself couldn’t whip something up yourself!

HARRY
Right…well…you see I didn’t have the ingredients.

SLUGHORN
Say no more! So do you feel more like yourself m’boy?

Ron looks up at them with a look of shock at what just happened to him on his face.

HARRY
Great way to start off your 17th birthday huh?


SLUGHORN
Did you say birthday? Really? Oh well in that case!

Slughorn goes to his cupboard and pulls out a bottle of mead.

SLUGHORN
I’ve got one last bottle of this oak matured mead…meant to give this to Dumbledore for Christmas…ah well. Why don’t we open it now and celebrate Mr. Weasley’s birthday!
(Slughorn pours the drinks and hands a glass to each of them.)
Well, a very happy birthday, Rupert

RON
(Stunned)
Wait…how do you know…?

HARRY
It’s Ron sir…

As he says this Ron goes ahead and chugs the drink.

SLUGHORN
And may you have many more…

Ron drops the glass and foam start to come out of his mouth. He falls on the ground shaking furiously with his eyes rolling to the back of his head.

HARRY
Ron! Professor! Do something!

SLUGHORN
What…but…

Harry rushes towards the cupboard and starts to throw around bottles. He grabs the bezoar and runs to Ron. He forces his mouth open and throws the bezoar in his mouth. After a few seconds his body stops shaking and he falls off to sleep.

INT. HOSTPITAL WING-AFTERNOON (SAME DAY)

The scene cuts to a sleeping Ron in the hospital wing. Lavender is standing next to him and we notice Harry and Ginny standing on the opposite side of the bed looking down on him.

LAVENDER
I knew something must have been wrong with him. I mean who would pick Romilda Vane over me?

Harry and Ginny glance over at each other as the door to the Hospital Wing opens and a worried Hermione rushes in.

HERMIONE
I just heard….how is he?

HARRY
He’s fine….

LAVENDER
What are you doing here?

Hermione, Harry, and Ginny all look up at Lavender.

LAVENDER
Isn’t this what you wanted? Ever since we’ve been together you’ve been trying to harm him…well look like you’ve finally succeeded…

HERMIONE
I would never wish anything like this on Ron. How…how dare you!

LAVENDER
You’re just jealous because he loves me!

HERMIONE/HARRY/GINNY
What!??

Ron stirs a bit in his sleep.

HARRY
Listen Lavender…maybe this isn’t the right moment…

LAVENDER
You’re right….I have class soon anyway….

She kisses Ron on the forehead before grabbing her books and walking out of the ward. Hermione places her hand on Ron’s arm and begins to cry. Ginny places her hand on Hermione’s shoulder. Ginny and Harry both look over at each other before looking back down at Ron as the scene slowly fades to Harry and Hermione walking towards Hagrid’s Hut.

EXT. HOGWARTS-OUTSIDE OF THE STONE CIRCLE-NIGHT

HERMIONE
So Slughorn was planning on giving that bottle to Dumbledore?

HARRY
Yeah so that poison was meant to be for Dumbledore.

HERMIONE
This is just mad…first Katie…now Ron…even with all the extra protection people are still getting hurt.

Harry stops walking as he notices 2 figures walking slowly along the edge of the forest.

HERMIONE
Looks like Dumbledore’s back…

We now see that the figures walking are Dumbledore and Snape. Harry holds up a finger to his lips to signal that Hermione should keep quiet and he slowly walks down towards them while remaining in the shadows. Harry finds a spot behind a tree and stays there as Dumbledore and Snape slowly walk past the spot.

SNAPE
You take a great deal for granted, Dumbledore…perhaps I’ve changed my mind!

DUMBLEDORE
You gave me your word, Severus.

Dumbledore turns and says something that Harry can’t hear but we see him struggle to. Snape stares at Dumbledore for a moment in silence and Dumbledore looks away, sighs, and continues to walk.

DUMBLEDORE
Come to my office tonight, Severus, at eleven, and you shall not complain that I have no confidence in you. Right now I’m afraid we may not be alone and such topics shouldn’t be discussed out in the open.

They begin to walk away and the camera focuses on Harry hiding behind the tree as the scene cuts to a wideshot of Hogwarts. The scene then cuts to the Spinning Gargoyle and Harry standing in front of it. He looks down at the piece of parchment in his hand before knocking.

DUMBLEDORE
(Offscreen)
Enter!

INT. HOGWARTS-DUMBLEDORE’S OFFICE-NIGHT

HARRY
Good evening sir…I just got the message that you wanted to see me.

DUMBLEDORE
Come in Harry.

Harry notices that Dumbledore’s injured hand looks even worse now and that it has spread throughout most of his hand and even into his palm.

HARRY
Before we start sir I have something to tell you. I overheard Snape and Draco talking….and…Snape was offereing to help Draco do something. Snape told Draco he made an Unbreakable Vow and…it’s just…well sir…before school I found out that Draco is trying to fix a Vanishing Cabinet. I don’t know why or how but it was in Borgin and Burkes and if Snape is offering to help then….


DUMBLEDORE
Thank you for telling me this Harry, but I suggest that you put it out of your mind. I do not think it is of great importance.

HARRY
Not of great importance? Professor, did you understand…?

DUMBLEDORE
Yes Harry and I think you might consider the possibility that I understood more than you did. I am glad you confided in me, but let me reassure you that you have not told me anything that causes me disquiet.

HARRY
So you definitely still trust Snape then?

DUMBLEDORE
Yes Harry I do…but now I must insist that we press on. I have more important things to discuss with you this evening. Have you managed the task I set you at the end of our previous lesson?

HARRY
Well, no sir, seeing the situation with Ron and all.

DUMBLEDORE
And following around Professor Snape and Mr. Malfoy aswell it seems. I thought I made it clear to you how very important that memory is Harry. It is the most crucial memory of all and we will be wasting our time without it.

HARRY
It isn’t that I wasn’t trying…I’ve just had other things….I’m sorry sir.

DUMBLEDORE
There will be little point in our meeting after tonight unless we have that memory.

Harry looks down in disappointment as Dumbledore walks over to the Pensieve. He places his wand up to his temple and pulls out a few strings and places them in it. Dumbledore motions to Harry to come over and Harry walks up to the Pensieve, takes a breathe, and plunges his head into it as the room dissolves.

INT-DUMBLEDORE’S OFFICE-NIGHT (PAST)

Harry looks around and notices that he’s in Dumbledore’s Office. He notices a young Dumbledore sitting at his desk writing as the door knocks.

YOUNG DUMBLEDORE
Enter!

The door opens and in walks a young Voldemort. The darkness is very apparent in his appearance now, and his physical appearance is already starting to change. Around his neck he is wearing a golden LOCKET with a serpentine S on it.

YOUNG DUMBLEDORE
Good evening Tom, won’t you sit down?

VOLDEMORT
Thank you. I heard that you had become headmaster, a worthy choice.

YOUNG DUMBLEDORE
I am glad you approve. So what do I owe this pleasure, Tom?

VOLDEMORT
They do not call me ‘Tom’ anymore these days Dumbledore, I am known as…

YOUNG DUMBLEDORE
I know what you are known as, however I’m afraid you will always be Tom Riddle to me.

Voldermort frowns slighty at the sound of this and Dumbledore just simply smiles at him.

DUMBLEDORE
So what brings you here Tom?

VOLDEMORT
I have returned to ask that you permit me to return to this castle, to teach. I could show and tell your students things they can gain from no other wizard.

YOUNG DUMBLEDORE
Yes, I certainly do know that you have seen and done much since leaving us. Rumors of your doings have reached your old school, Tom. I should be sorry to believe half of them.

VOLDEMORT
Greatness inspires envy, envy engenders spite, and spite spawns lies. You must know this, Dumbledore.

YOUNG DUMBLEDORE
You call it ‘greatness’ what you have been doing?

VOLDEMORT
Certainly. I have pushed the boundaries of magic further perhaps, than they have ever been pushed.


YOUNG DUMBLEDORE
Of some kinds of magic Tom. Of others, I’m afraid, you remain woefully ignorant

VOLDEMORT
(Laughs)
The old argument. But nothing I have seen in the world has supported your famous pronouncements that love is more powerful than my kind of magic, Dumbledore.

YOUNG DUMBLEDORE
Perhaps you’ve been looking in the wrong places.

Dumbledore and Voldemort simply stare at each other for a moment and Dumbledore notices the locket around his neck.

DUMBLEDORE
Interesting locket….

VOLDEMORT
Do you like it Dumbledore? It’s an old family heirloom of mine. I found out about it when I worked at Borgin and Burke’s back when I was in school. It’s not very often an orphan finds something so precious that’s connected to his heritage.

DUMBLEDORE
Indeed.

VOLDEMORT
Let’s not change the subject however Dumbledore. Will you let me return? I place myself and my talents at your disposal. I am yours to command.

YOUNG DUMBLEDORE
And what will become of those who call themselves, the Death Eaters, whom I hear you, command.

VOLDEMORT
My friends will carry on without me, I’m sure.

YOUNG DUMBLEDORE
I am glad to hear you consider them friends. You see I was under the impression that they are more in the order of servants.

VOLDEMORT
You are mistaken.

YOUNG DUMBLEDORE
Then why Tom are there a group of people sitting at the Hog’s Head awaiting your return? Devoted friends indeed, to travel this far with you on a snowy night, merely to wish you luck as you attempt to secure a teaching post.

VOLDEMORT
You are omniscient as ever, Dumbledore

YOUNG DUMBLEDORE
Maybe so, then again I could just know the right people in the right places. Let us speak openly, why have you come here tonight, surrounded by henchmen, to request a job we both know you do not want?

VOLDEMORT
I do not want? On the contrary, Dumbledore, I want it very much.

YOUNG DUMBLEDORE
I disagree Tom. Stop with the games and tell me what you want.

VOLDEMORT
I’ve told you. Now if you simply don’t want to give me the job…

YOUNG DUMBLEDORE
Of course I don’t, and I don’t think for a moment you expected me to.

Voldemort stands up quickly, clearly furious.

VOLDEMORT
This is your final word?

YOUNG DUMBLEDORE
It is.

VOLDEMORT
Then we have nothing more to say to each other!

YOUNG DUMBLEDORE
I’m afraid not.

Voldemort sneers and walks furiously out of the room and there is a flash and

INT. DUMBLEDORE’S OFFICE-NIGHT (PRESENT DAY)

Harry is now in the present. He looks over to see Dumbledore sitting on the steps in front of his desk.

HARRY
Why did he come back sir?

DUMBLEDORE
I have ideas, but I can’t tell you what they are until you have retrieved that memory from Professor Slughorn.

HARRY
Was he after the Defense Against the Dark Arts job sir?

DUMBLEDORE
Definitely. The aftermath of our little meeting proved that. You see we have never been able to keep a Defense Against the Dark Arts teacher for longer than a year since I refused the post to Lord Voldemort. Now I must say goodnight Harry.

HARRY
Goodnight sir.

Harry begins to walk out of Dumbledore’s Office. He glances back and notices Dumbledore once again staring at his damaged hand. Harry slowly closes the door and the scene cuts to Harry in his Quidditch gear pacing.

INT. QUIDDITCH TENT-AFTERNOON

The camera pans back to show the rest of players sitting around looking nervous. Cormac then runs in with full gear on.

CORMAC
Sorry I’m late….

HARRY
The match starts in 5 minuets McLaggen, you were supposed to be here an hour ago!

CORMAC
I’m sorry I had things to do….

HARRY
Things? The only reason you’re playing this game McLaggen is because Ron is in the hospital. The moment he’s well….

CORMAC
Won’t happen again sir!

He smiles and begins to walk out towards the feel. Harry sighs as the rest of the team follows.

EXT. HOGWARTS-QUIDDITCH FIELD-MOMENTS LATER

The scene cuts to the Quidditch game already in session. We see a player from the Hufflepuff team fly by with the Quaffle and then the camera moves towards the crowd to show Luna with the microphone.

LUNA
And that’s Smith of Hufflepuff with the Quaffle. Oh look, he’s lost the Quaffle again, he must be suffering from loser’s largy. He can’t seem to hold the Quaffle for very long. Ginny took it from him this time, I do like her, she’s very nice….

We see McGonagall cast a look at Luna and then the camera cuts back to Harry as he hovers above them. He watches Ginny as she flies quickly towards the goal posts but the Quaffle is taken from her by an opposing player.

LUNA
Oh it seems like that big Hufflepuff player’s got the Quaffle from her, I can’t remember his name, it’s something like Bibble…no…Buggins…

MCGONAGALL
It’s Cadwallader!

LUNA
Thank you professor. And if anyone is interesting there’s this interesting cloud that seems to be shaped like a nargle right there if you look past Harry Potter.

We see a few people in the stands look up as the scene cuts back to Harry who seems to be staring at Ginny as she plays but notices McLaggen leaving his post and flying towards Ginny.

CORMAC
How come you let him get the Quaffle? Seriously Weasley do I have to show you everything….

GINNY
Get back to your post McLaggen before they….

DING. They look back and notice that the opposite team just scored. Ginny casts a nasty look at McLaggen and flies away from him.

HARRY
Cormac what are you doing! Get back to your post!

GINNY
Harry look out!

Harry ducks and barely misses a bludger that almost hit him in the head. He looks back and smiles at Ginny not noticing Cormac who quickly flies towards Dean and forcefully takes the Beater bat out of his hand.

CORMAC
Let me show you how to really hit a Bludger.

Cormac grabs the bat and BAM hits the Bludger towards Harry who is still looking at Ginny. A look of shock goes across her face and Harry turns around and we see the Bludger flying right and the camera and BAM the screen goes black.

KlausBaudelaire May 17th, 2008 10:28 am

Re: Fan Scripts: Script your own version of Harry Potter
 
You know, I think the Godric's Hollow grave scene will not work very much in the movie.
I mean, we just have Harry and Hermione, possibly under the Invisibility Cloak, watching the gravestones, and cry.
Dead Depressing.
In fact, I've never seen scenes like that in a movie, unless we have a Voice Over that tells us Harry's thoughts...I don't see how it would work.
I think, for the sake of 'filmology' to have Harry visit the ruins of his parent's house, not the graveyard.
So, as Harry glances around to try to imagine how the house once was, the camera pans and show sweet snakey Naginy appearing out of the blue.
(I don't see Bathilda as a cinematographic character either)

Forlong May 24th, 2008 12:17 am

Re: Fan Scripts: Script your own version of Harry Potter
 
I thought of a better opening for "Philosopher's Stone".

Philosopher’s Stone:    


  
Opening
Airial shot over a village, that is Godric's Hollow. Theme music plays lightly and voices can be heard, as if from the wind.

JAMES: Lily, take Harry and run! It's him! I'll hold him off!

LILY: Don't worry, Harry. Mommy is here.

VOLDEMORT: Stand aside. You need not die.

LILY: No!

VOLDEMORT: Stand aside, you fool.

LILY: NO! Not Harry! Don't take Harry! Kill me instead!

The camara turned to the second story window of one of the houses and moves towards it quickily.

VOLDEMORT: As you wish! Avada Kadavra!

As Voldemort says, "Kadavra", the camara "phases" through the glass. Lily falls to the floor, dead. Harry says something "baby-ish".

The camara pans to Voldemort, who is wearing a jet-black cloak that covers most of his face. He slowly walks to the crib. When he stops only a few feet from the crib, the gleam of two red eyes breaks the shadow of his hood. Harry cries.

Voldemort raises his wand and smiles evilly.

VOLDEMORT: Naither can live, while the other servives...[points his wand at Harry]

Cut to the exterior of the house, which is silent for a moment. But the silence is interupted by an explosion from Harry's room. the camara moves into the wreckage. Voldemort is nowhere to be seen and Harry is laying down, apparently knocked out. As the camara comes closer, a lighting-bolt shaped scar becomes visible on Harry's forehead.

The music picks up again and the title appears.
  



What do you think?

ArryGrotter May 24th, 2008 1:40 am

Re: Fan Scripts: Script your own version of Harry Potter
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by Forlong (Post 5035536)
I thought of a better opening for "Philosopher's Stone".

Philosopher’s Stone:    


  
Opening
Airial shot over a village, that is Godric's Hollow. Theme music plays lightly and voices can be heard, as if from the wind.

JAMES: Lily, take Harry and run! It's him! I'll hold him off!

LILY: Don't worry, Harry. Mommy is here.

VOLDEMORT: Stand aside. You need not die.

LILY: No!

VOLDEMORT: Stand aside, you fool.

LILY: NO! Not Harry! Don't take Harry! Kill me instead!

The camara turned to the second story window of one of the houses and moves towards it quickily.

VOLDEMORT: As you wish! Avada Kadavra!

As Voldemort says, "Kadavra", the camara "phases" through the glass. Lily falls to the floor, dead. Harry says something "baby-ish".

The camara pans to Voldemort, who is wearing a jet-black cloak that covers most of his face. He slowly walks to the crib. When he stops only a few feet from the crib, the gleam of two red eyes breaks the shadow of his hood. Harry cries.

Voldemort raises his wand and smiles evilly.

VOLDEMORT: Naither can live, while the other servives...[points his wand at Harry]

Cut to the exterior of the house, which is silent for a moment. But the silence is interupted by an explosion from Harry's room. the camara moves into the wreckage. Voldemort is nowhere to be seen and Harry is laying down, apparently knocked out. As the camara comes closer, a lighting-bolt shaped scar becomes visible on Harry's forehead.

The music picks up again and the title appears.
  



What do you think?

I do like the ideas, but it still feels a bit er... unnatural?

I'm interested if you've read my opening to PS.

PS opening:    


  EXT. THE POTTER’S COTTAGE - GODRIC’S HOLLOW - EVENING

A gate is left open in front of a cottage, is curtains fully drawn and its door blasted open.

SYBILL TRELAWNEY (V.O.)
(In a hoarse voice)
The one with the power to vanquish the Dark Lord...

INT. HARRY’S ROOM - THE POTTER’S COTTAGE - GODRIC’S HOLLOW - EVENING

An infant (1-YEAR-OLD HARRY POTTER) stares at a hooded figure (VOLDEMORT). Light catches its face and Harry begins to cry.

VOLDEMORT
Avada Kedavra!

EXT. THE POTTER’S COTTAGE - GODRIC’S HOLLOW - EVENING

Green light erupts from an upstairs room. Sounds of agony can be heard, both from Harry and Voldemort

SYBILL TRELAWNEY (V.O.)
...approaches...

The title “Harry Potter and the Philosopher’s Stone” fills the screen.

EXT. 4 PRIVET DRIVE - MORNING

A simple suburban house can be seen (4 Privet Drive) behind the title, baked on by the bright sun. A cat walks into frame and sits on the house’s brick fence. The title fades, leaving a shot of the house.

CUT TO:

INT. KITCHEN - 4 PRIVET DRIVE - MORNING

Close-up shot of an extremely boring tie. The camera zooms out to see the reflection of VERNON DURSLEY, a man in his early 20s, in the kitchen mirror. The mirrored version of Vernon smiles to himself. He picks up his briefcase and walks over to his wife, PETUNIA DURSLEY, also in her early 20s. The kiss on the cheek he gives her is viewed through the mirror. Petunia notices the mirror and looks at herself and Vernon through it, smiling. A CLATTER and a splatter...

BABY DUDLEY DURSLEY
Shan’t!

1-YEAR-OLD DUDLEY DURSLEY has dropped his bowl of cereal in protest. Petunia rushes over to help as...

EXT. PRIVET DRIVE - MORNING

...the camera flies out of the room, past the cat still sitting on the brick wall, watches Vernon get into his car, past the many owls now circulating the sky...

I/E. DURSLEY’S CAR - SURREY - MORNING

...and to the odd people dressed in cloaks...

CLOAKED PERSON 1
The Potters, that’s right, that’s what I heard...

CLOAKED PERSON 2
...yes, their son, Harry...

...who move to show Vernon in his car, windows down, face covered with dread, shock and fear.

CUT TO:

INT. KITCHEN - 4 PRIVET DRIVE - EVENING

Vernon walks into the kitchen. Petunia is busy making dinner.

PETUNIA DURSLEY
Evening.

Vernon replies, not with Petunia’s pleasant tones, but quite empty.

VERNON DURSLEY
Evening.

A voice fades in.

TELEVISION - JIM MCGUFFIN
It’s not only the owls that have been acting oddly today.

The television has got Vernon’s attention. Its screen fills the screen

TELEVISION - JIM MCGUFFIN (CONT’D)
Viewers as far apart as Kent, Yorkshire and Dundee have been phoning in to tell me that they’ve had a downpour of shooting stars! Perhaps people have been celebrating Bonfire Night early - it’s not until next week, folks!

Finally, he decides to talk to Petunia

VERNON DURSLEY
Er - Petunia

Petunia doesn’t look up, but replies.

PETUNIA DURSLEY
Yes?

VERNON DURSLEY
You haven’t heard from your sister lately, have you?

Petunia stops everything she is doing and replies rudely.

PETUNIA DURSLEY
No. Why?

VERNON DURSLEY
Funny stuff on the news.
(He motions his hand towards it.)
Owls, shooting stars, and there were a lot of funny-looking people in town today. I thought, maybe, it was something to do with, you know, her lot.

Petunia sniffs, in away of reply, and continues to prepare dinner. Vernon looks a little scared to say his next sentence

VERNON DURSLEY (CONT’D)
Their son, about Dudley’s age now, wouldn’t he be, what’s his name again? Howard isn’t it?

PETUNIA DURSLEY
(Still making dinner)
Harry. Nasty, common name, if you ask me.

Camera starts to zoom in on Vernon, which is horribly unsettled

VERNON DURSLEY
Yes I quite agree.

We pass through the window...

EXT. PRIVET DRIVE - MIDNIGHT

...and all turns to night. The cat is still sitting on the brick fence. It is stiff and looking in one direction. The camera then shows that the road is deserted. It slowly lays to rest on one of the street lamps.

POP. Pause. Then a different POP as the lamp extinguishes.

The camera cuts back to the cat, which is now moving its head. The lamp nearest the brick wall extinguishes with another pop. The camera then cuts to an elderly man (ALBUS DUMBLEDORE) standing in the once deserted street, he is putting away an object which looks like a cigarette lighter (Deluminator).

Dumbledore sits next to the cat on the fence and, after a moment’s pause, turns and speaks to it.

ALBUS DUMBLEDORE
Fancy seeing you here, Professor McGonagall.
  


Phrozenone June 5th, 2008 2:37 am

Re: Fan Scripts: Script your own version of Harry Potter
 
Ok so here's the next section of the script. I wasn't sure people were reading so I started taking longer to do anything :lol: This next section is TOTALLY different than I imagined it...having just finished writing I'm happy with it..but most may not be.

Unfortunatly I have to leave in a bit so the ending of this section happens in the middle of an important scene..but no worries it's just a cliffhanger.

Now I better see some input on this or I may take longer next time :lol:

Quote:

INT. HOSPITAL WING-NIGHT

The screen slowly fades back in Harry as he opens his eyes and grasps his head in pain. He looks over to see Ron in the bed next to him smiling at him.

RON
Nice of you to drop in.

HARRY
How long have I been out?

RON
For a bit…u got a cracked skull…McLaggen must’ve got you good.

HARRY
When I get out of here I’m going to kill him.

The door to the hospital wing opens and Ginny walks in carrying Harry’s broom.

GINNY
Alright Harry?

HARRY
Yeah fine…thanks…

GINNY
Thought I’d drop this off.

She sits the broom next to Harry’s bed.

HARRY
So how did the game go?

GINNY
You don’t want to know…sad thing is Luna’s commentary was the only highlight. Well I’ll leave you two…get better soon Harry.

She smiles and walks away as Ron starts eating on some candy. Harry watches as she closes the door and lays back in the bed and closes his eyes.

INT. THE ROOM OF REQURIEMENT-NIGHT

The scene fades to Ginny standing in front of a mirror and Harry walking up behind her. She turns around and smiles at him.

GINNY
You’re a good teacher Harry.

HARRY
Ginny?

She looks up above them and a mistletoe is forming.

GINNY
Mistletoe

HARRY
Probably full of nargles….

GINNY
What are nargles?

HARRY
No idea…

He goes in to kiss her and there is a SLAM and both Harry and Ginny look over to see an angry Ron standing in the room.

RON
What’s going on?

HARRY
Ron…wait...it’s not what you think!

Ron pulls out his wand and walks angrily up to Harry.

RON
I thought you were my friend Harry!

HARRY
Wait…Ron…I’m sorry…

Ron draws back and his fist flies towards Harry’s face as Harry opens his eyes.

INT. HOSPITAL WING-NIGHT

He sits up and looks over and see’s Ron snoring next to him. He sighs as he gets up out of the bed slowly and walks to a window. Harry looks out at Hogwarts with the moon shining brightly over it and the scene slowly fades a shot of names moving around the Mauraders Map.

HARRY
(Offscreen)
Gone again.

We now see Harry sitting in his hospital bed looking at the map with Ron sitting up on his bed.

RON
Harry I think you’re going a little overboard with this Malfoy thing.

HARRY
I’m gonna find out what he’s up too Ron.

RON
Harry…

HARRY
Don’t tell me it’s all in my head either, I overheard what Snape said to him…

RON
Yeah I know Harry, but, you’re just becoming a little obsessed over this thing.

HARRY
Obsessed? He just keeps disappearing off of the map, where do you think he’s going?

RON
Hogsmeade maybe, I don’t know.

HARRY
If only I had some way…wait a minute.

RON
What?

HARRY
I think I have a way to get Malfoy followed.

RON
Followed?

HARRY
I just remembered...remember Dumbledore told me I own Grimmauld Place now.

RON
So?

HARRY
Kreacher!

In the middle of the room Kreacher and Dobby apparate and they’re both fighting each other.

DOBBY
Kreacher will not insult Harry Potter in front of Dobby!!!

KREACHER
Kreacher will say what he likes about master, filthy friend of Mudbloods, what would poor Kreachers mistress…

Dobby punches him in his mouth and Kreacher lets out a scream and starts clawing at Dobby. Ron and Harry jump out of the bed and tries to pull them apart. They continue to kick and swing at each other as they pulled apart.

HARRY
I forbid you to fight each other!

They both stop and stare at each other.

HARRY
Dobby…what are you doing here?

DOBBY
Greetings Harry Potter sir! Dumbledore hired Dobby to work in the kitchens with the other house elves sir! Shortly after Harry Potter freed Dobby from the evil Malfoys!

RON
Just what we need…

HARRY
Well as I’m sure you know by now Kreacher I’m your new master…and I’ve got a job for you.

KREACHER
Kreacher will do whatever Master wants, because Kreacher has no choice, but Kreacher is ashamed to have such a master, yes…

DOBBY
Dobby will do it, Harry Potter! Dobby would be honored.

HARRY
It would be good to have both of you now that I think of it. I want you to tail Draco Malfoy.

RON
What!

HARRY
I want to know where he’s going, who he’s meeting, and what he’s doing. I want you to follow him around the clock.

DOBBY
Yes, Harry Potter!

KREACHER
Master wants me to spy upon the pure-blood great-nephew of my old mistress?

HARRY
Yeah and you’re forbidden to tip him off, or to show him what you’re up to, or to talk to him at all, or to write him messages or…or to contact him in any way. Got it?

KREACHER
Master thinks of everything, and Kreacher must obey him even though Kreacher would much rather be the servant of the Malfoy boy, oh yes…

HARRY
That’s settled then.

Kreacher and Dobby both snap their fingers and disappear.

RON
Harry, what the…

HARRY
I don’t want to hear it Ron ok.

We see a shot of Ron looking at Harry with concern as we cut to another sweeping shot of Hogwarts. We then cut to Harry and Ron walking down a hallway in their school robes. Harry is looking through his potions book.

INT. HOGWARTS- CORRIDOR-EVENING (Days later)

RON
I’m gonna miss lying up in the hospital wing…being pampered day and night…it’s the good life…

HARRY
Yeah and now we have loads of make up work to do.

RON
Anything good in there the prince has to say?

HARRY
There is this spell, Sectumsempra, it says For Enemies. I wonder what it does.

RON
Dunno, just make sure you don’t try it out on me will you.

HARRY
I don’t know; just make sure you stay on my good side.

We hear a noise and both Harry and Ron stop in their tracks. Harry walks slowly around the corner and looks around it.

HARRY
Dobby?

The camera pans and shows Dobby hiding behind one of the statues in the hallway.

DOBBY
Dobby has come to report news on the Malfoy boy.

RON
Wow you work fast….

HARRY
Where’s Kreacher…you know what...nevermind…what do you have to tell me?

DOBBY
The Malfoy boy is breaking no rules that Dobby can discover. He has, however, been making regular visits to the seventh floor with a variety of other students, who keep watch for him while he enters…

HARRY
The Room of Requirements…

INT. GRYFFINDOR COMMON ROOM-NIGHT

The scene fades to Harry, Ron, and Hermione sitting in front of the fire place in the Gryffindor common room.

HARRY
How good is this, we know where Malfoy’s going!

RON
(He is writing out his DADA homework and says very dryly..)
Yeah it’s great

HERMIONE
Before you get excited Harry, I still don’t think you’ll be able to get into the Room of Requirments without knowing what’s there first. You have to know exactly what Malfoy wants from the room. And besides you should be concentrating on getting the memory from Slughorn…

HARRY
I haven’t forgotten about Slughorn, but I haven’t a clue how to get that memory off him, and until I get a brain wave or something, why shouldn’t I find out what Malfoy’s doing?

Hermione gives a sigh and opens up a book.

HARRY
Wait a moment….what does the Room of Requirement have to do with that Vanishing Cabinet? Hermione….what exactly is a Vanishing Cabinet used for?

HERMIONE
Plenty of things…the most common thing is it acts as a sort of a gateway between two points.

HARRY
What do you mean?

HERMIONE
Well one can travel from one point to another almost instantly with a vanishing cabinet…it’s like a simple form of apparition.

RON
This is ridiculous! How could Snape possibly think we’d finish this essay! I can’t get a hang of apparation and the tests are coming up as well, I can’t take all this pressure!

HERMIONE
Harry and I finished it days ago Ronald, that’s what you get for waiting to the last minute. And Apparation isn’t that bad, you saw that Harry attempted it.

HARRY
Do you think there could be a vanishing cabinet in the room of requirement?

HERMIONE
Harry I know what you’re going to say….

HARRY
It makes sense Hermione. If there’s a cabinet in the room and it’s connected to the one in Borgin and Burke’s….

HERMIONE
Then how come it hasn’t been used already Harry? If what you’re saying is true someone other than Draco knows about it and how come they didn’t use it? Death Eaters would be swarming the school by now…

HARRY
But don’t you remember Hermione Draco has to fix something! I bet the cabinet in the room of requirement has to be fixed and once it’s done it’s a one way pass into Hogwarts right under all of our noses!

HERMIONE
Honestly Harry that’s not very likely…and besides you forget we have Dumbledore…no death eater in their right minds would dare come into the school as long as Dumbledore’s around…

Harry sighs in defeat knowing there was no point in arguing.

RON
I’m never gonna finish this…

HERMIONE
(Frustrated)
Oh honestly Ron…
(She grabs the parchment from him)
I’ll finish it for you!

RON
I love you, Hermione

He sits back in his chair relived and Hermione blushes slightly and begins to write as the scene fades to…

INT. SEVENTH FLOOR-NIGHT

The scene cuts to a shot of the hallway and then SWOOSH Harry takes off his invisibility cloak. He slowly begins walking down the hallway on the seventh floor towards where the Room of Requirement is. He stands in front of the wall and looks around before proceeding.

HARRY
I need to see what Malfoy’s doing in here….

Nothing happens.

HARRY
Right…maybe I need to be more specific…I need you to become the place you become for Draco Malfoy….

Nothing happens again.

HARRY
Oh, come off it. That was a clear instruction! Alright how about this…I need you to become the place where Draco is fixing a vanishing cabinet….

Nothing happens again and Harry angrily kicks the wall and quickly regrets it as he yells out in pain.

EXT. THE ENTRANCE COURTYARD-AFTERNOON

The scene cuts to a shot of students walking down the hallways of Hogwarts. It then cuts to Harry sitting alone reading his Potions book again. We see Ron and Hermione walk up behind him. Hermione is smiling wheras Ron looks upset.

HERMIONE
Harry! I passed the Apparation tests!

HARRY
Don’t think I expected anything less of you. Ron how did you do?

RON
How do you think I did! I failed of course!

HARRY
What happened?

HERMIONE
It was really unlucky; he’d left half an eyebrow behind.

RON
Half an eyebrow, HALF AN EYEBROW!

HERMIONE
Well it could’ve been worse.

RON
Oh come off it Hermione.

Luna walks up to them holding an item that looks like a green onion, a large spotted toadstool, and a considerable amount of what looks like cat litter.

LUNA
HARRY!

HARRY
Hey Luna…

Luna thrust the item into Ron’s hand and pulls out a letter.

LUNA
I’ve been told to give you this.

She hands the letter to Harry.

RON
What the bloody hell is this thing?

LUNA
It’s a Gurdyroot of course! You can keep it if you like; they’re really excellent for warding off Gulping Plimpies.

RON
Um, No thanks.

Ron hands it back to Luna

LUNA
Ok then…

She grabs it and walks away humming a tune.

RON
You know, she’s grown on me, I know she’s insane, but it’s in a good…

HARRY
Oh no.

HERMIONE
What is it? Is it Dumbledore?

HARRY
No, Aragog died. He wants us to come to the funeral.

RON
He’s mental! That thing told its mates to eat Harry and Me!

HERMIONE
You’re not going are you…Harry you can’t! It’s such a pointless thing to get detention over. You should be trying to get that memory from Slughorn!

HARRY
Don’t you think I’ve been trying?

HERMIONE
How?

HARRY
I…well….it doesn’t matter how! I’ve tried it hundreds of times; I just can’t get any luck.

RON
Luck! Harry, you could use your lucky potion!

HERMIONE
Ron, that’s it!

INT-BOYS DORMITORY/GRYFFINDOR COMMON ROOM-NIGHT (MOMENTS LATER)

The scene cuts to a shot of the bottle and pans back to see Harry looking at it

HARRY
Well, here goes.

Harry takes a little sip out of it.

HERMIONE
What does it feel like?

The screen gets this little haze over it showing that the potion is working.

HARRY
Excellent! Right…I’m going down to Hagrids!


HERMIONE AND RON
What!

HERMIONE
You’ve got to go and see Slughorn!

HARRY
No, I’m going to Hagrids, I’ve got a good feeling about going to Hagrids!

He grabs his invisibility cloak and puts it on. He proceeds to walk down the stairs as Hermione and Ron follow. Harry walks out of the door and we see Lavender standing there as Hermione and Ron come out of the door.

LAVENDER
What are you doing up there with her!

We see Harry walk towards the portrait hole and Ginny and Dean are entering it. He walks past them and brushes lightly against Ginny.

GINNY
Don’t push me, please, Dean! You’re always doing that, I can get through perfectly well on my own…

EXT. HOGWARTS GROUNDS-NIGHT (MOMENTS LATER)

Harry is now outside walking towards Hagrids and we see Slughorn walking towards him. Harry smiles and simply takes off the Cloak and runs towards him.

SLUGHORN
Merlin’s beard! Harry, how did you get out of the castle?

HARRY
Filch must’ve forgotten to lock the doors.

SLUGHORN
Why are you out here?

HARRY
You see sir, it’s Hagrid, he’s pretty upset. But you won’t tell anyone, Professor? I don’t want trouble for him…

SLUGHORN
Well I can’t promise that, but I know that Dumbledore trusts Hagrid to the hilt.

HARRY
Well, it’s this giant spider, he’s had it for years, it lived in the forest and could talk and everything. It died last night, and he wants company while he buries it and I said I’d go.

SLUGHORN
I heard rumors there were acromantulas in the forest. And their venom is very valuable indeed, and the creature just died, seems like an awful waste not to collect it.

HARRY
Well, if you wanted to come, Professor, Hagrid would probably be really pleased.

Harry smiles as he see’s the look of excitement in Slughorns eyes and the scene cuts to…

EXT. HAGRIDS HUT-NIGHT (MOMENTS LATER)

A wide shot of Hogwarts and we see a giant dead spider in the distance. The scene then fades to Harry, Hagrid, Fang, and Slughorn walking towards Hagrid’s Hut.

HAGRID
I had him from an egg, yeh know. Thank ye for coming out tonight.

SLUGHORN
No problem Hagrid, it’s our pleasure.

We see him turn around and pull out the bottle full of poison.

SLUGHORN
It was my pleasure.

He chuckles and puts it back in his pocket.

HAGRID
Do you’ wan anything to drink?

SLUGHORN
Why…yes…

INT. HAGRID HUT-LATER THAT NIGHT

The scene cuts to Hagrid and Slughorn hitting mugs together sloppily. Its apparent they’ve been drinking for quite some time now.

HAGRID
I’d like to…make a toast..Harry Potter!

SLUGHORN
Yes, indeed! Parry Otter, the Chosen Boy Who…well…
(He starts to sing) And Odo the hero, they bore him back home. To the place that he’d known as a lad….

HAGRID
The good die young…me dad was no age ter go…nor were yer mum an’ dad Harry…terrible thing.

Hagrid then hiccups and falls to the ground asleep with a loud BOOM

SLUGHORN
Sorry, can’t carry a tune to save my life. Apparently put that poor bloke to sleep!

HARRY
Hagrid wasn’t talking about your singing; he was talking about my mum and dad dying.

SLUGHORN
Oh, terrible. I don’t suppose you remember it, Harry?

HARRY
No, I was only one when they died. My dad died first, did you know that?

SLUGHORN
I…I didn’t.

HARRY
Yeah, Voldemort murdered him and then stepped over his body towards my mum. He told her to get out of the way. He told her she needn’t have died, he only wanted me. She could have run.

SLUGHORN
Oh dear, that’s awful…

HARRY
It is, isn’t it! She didn’t move, dad was already dead, but she didn’t want me to go too. She tried to plead with him…but he just laughed…

SLUGHORN
That’s enough! Really, my dear boy, I’m an old man…I don’t need to hear…

HARRY
I forgot, you liked her, didn’t you.

SLUGHORN
Liked her? I don’t imagine anyone who met her wouldn’t have liked her….

HARRY
But you won’t help her son. She gave me her life, but you won’t give me a memory.

Slughorn looks down at Harry and tears slowly form in his eyes.

SLUGHORN
Don’t say that…if it were to help you, of course…but no purpose can be served.

HARRY
It can. I am the Chosen One. I have to kill him. I need that memory.

SLUGHORN
You are the Chosen One?

HARRY
Of course I am.

SLUGHORN
You’re asking a great deal…to aid you in your attempt to destroy…

HARRY
You don’t want to get rid of the wizard who killed Lily Evans?

SLUGHORN
OF course I do Harry, but….

HARRY
You’re scared he’ll find out you helped me? Be brave like my mother, Professor.

SLUGHORN
I am not proud of what that memory shows…I think I may have done great damage that day.

HARRY
You’d cancel out anything you did by giving me that memory. It would be a very brave and noble thing to do.

Slughorn stares at Harry for a second and the camera zoom’s in on Harry’s eyes. Slughorn then pulls his wand out. He places the tip of his wand to his head and pulls out the long threads of the memory and places it into a bottle and corks it. He hands it to Harry.

HARRY
Thank you very much, Professor.

SLUGHORN
You’re a good boy, and you’ve got her eyes…just don’t think too badly of me once you’ve seen it.

He yawns and then lays back and falls asleep.

INT. DUMBLEDORE’S OFFICE-LATER THAT NIGHT

The spell vision is gone as Hary knocks on Dumbledore’s office door

DUMBLEDORE
Enter!

Harry walks in with a huge smile on his face

DUMBLEDORE
Good gracious Harry, to what do I owe this very late pleasure?

HARRY
Sir, I’ve got the memory from Slughorn.

He pulls it out and shows it to him.

DUMBLEDORE
Spectacular Harry! Very well done indeed! I knew you could do it!

He walks up to Harry and takes the bottle and walks over to the Pensive.

DUMBLEDORE
And finally, we shall see.

He pours it into the pensive and we see Dumbledore smile at Harry. We now see Harry and Dumbledore standing in the same room where Tom Riddle and Slughorn was in the earlier memory.

INT-SLUGHORNS OFFICE-NIGHT (PAST)

Standing there is a much younger Slughorn holding on to a pineapple with a big grin in his face. Standing across from his is a Teenaged TOM RIDDLE in the room with a young Bellatrix, AVERY, ALECTO, and AMYCUS.

SLUGHORN
Thank you for the pineapple Tom, you’re quite right, it is my favorite!

Slughorn looks down at the small golden clock on his desk.

SLUGHORN
Good gracious, is it that time already? You all better get going, or we’ll all be in trouble. Lestrange, I want your essay by tomorrow or it’s detention! Same goes for you, Avery.

They rest of them gather their things and begin to leave. Bellatrix throws a smile at Tom before exiting as Slughorn sorts through paper on his desk. He looks up and notices Tom standing there.

SLUGHORN
Look sharp Tom. You don’t want to be caught out of bed out of hours….

Tom looks down and twists the RING with a BLACK STONE around his finger and looks up at Slughorn.
TOM
Sir, I wanted to ask you something.

SLUGHORN
Ask away, then, m’boy, ask away…

TOM
Sir, I wondered what you know about….about Horcruxes?

SLUGHORN
Project for Defense Against the Dark Arts, is it?

TOM
Not exactly sir, I came across the term while reading and I didn’t fully understand it.

SLUGHORN
You’d be hard pushed to find a book at Hogwarts that’ll give you details on Horcruxes. That’s very Dark stuff Tom.

TOM
You obviously know all about them, I mean a wizard like you. If you can’t tell me, I’d understand. I just knew if anyone could tell me, you could.

SLUGHORN
Well, it can’t hurt to give you an overview. A Horcrux is the word used for an object in which a person has concealed part of their soul.

TOM
I don’t quite understand how that works, though, sir.

SLUGHORN
Well, you split your soul, you see. And hide part of it in an object outside the body. Then, even if one’s body is attacked or destroyed, one cannot die, for part of their soul remains earthbound and undamaged. Few would want this however Tom, death would be preferable.

TOM
How do you split your soul?

SLUGHORN
By committing murder, the supreme act of evil. Killing rips the soul apart. The wizard intent upon creating a Horcrux would use the damage to his advantage: He would encase the torn portion…

TOM
Encase? But how…

SLUGHORN
There is a spell, do not ask me, I don’t know. Do I look as though I have tried it?

TOM
No sir, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to offend you.

SLUGHORN
Not offended Tom, it’s natural to feel curiousity about these things.

TOM
Sir, what I want to know is, will one Horcrux be much use? Can you only split your soul once? Wouldn’t it be better, make you stronger, to have your soul in more pieces, isn’t seven the most powerful magical number?

SLUGHORN
Merlin’s beard, Tom! Seven! Isn’t it bad enough to think of killing one person? In any case, it’s bad enough to divide the soul…but to rip it into seven pieces…this is all hypothetical, what we’re discussing isn’t it? All academic…

TOM
Yes, of course.

SLUGHORN
Keep it quiet, what I’ve told you. It’s a banned subject in Hogwarts…Dumbledore’s particularly fierce about it!

TOM
I won’t say a word sir.

He smiles and we see what looks like a flash of red in his eyes as Dumbledore grabs Harry’s shoulder and FLASH we’re back in his office.

INT. DUMBLEDORE’S OFFICE-NIGHT (PRESENT DAY)

Dumbledore stands looking at the Pensieve for a moment in silence. Harry watches in equal silence as Dumbledore turns and starts to walk towards his desk.

DUMBLEDORE
Do you understand the significance of what we just saw Harry? Tom Riddle was doing all he could to find out how to make himself immortal.

HARRY
And do you think he succeeded sir?

DUMBLEDORE
Yes, Harry. As far as I know the most someone has split their souls were two. Four years ago I received something that gave me proof that he’d split his soul.

HARRY
What was it?

Dumbledore opens up the desk and pulls out the diary that Harry destroyed in year two and sits it on his desk.

HARRY
That’s Tom Riddle’s diary…wait…that was a Horcrux sir?

DUMBLEDORE
Yes, and now thanks to that memory we are closer to finishing off Lord Voldemort. Seven, yes, I think the idea of a seven part soul would greatly appeal to him.

He reaches into his desk again and pulls out the ring he was wearing earlier in the film and sits it on his desk aswell.

HARRY
That ring? You were wearing that when you picked me up from the Dursleys…wait…didn’t Voldemort have it on in that memory? Was it also a Horcrux?

DUMBLEDORE
Yes Harry. It belonged to his mother…it was terribly hard to find...but I did and destroyed it.

He holds up his now worse blackened hand for Harry to see. Harry stares at it for a moment and looks down at the ring.

HARRY
So if we destroy all the Horcruxes…

DUMBLEDORE
Voldemort can be killed.

Harry looks down at the ring again and slowly reaches out to touch it and SWOOSH we see flashes of Nagini, Dumbledore putting the ring on his hand and his hand slowly decaying as he does, the locket around Tom Riddle’s neck, a small CUP falling out of a woman’s hand, Tom Riddle walking down the halls of Hogwarts holding a DIADEM with a smile on his face, and the diary and SWOOSH we see Harry pull his hand back quickly as a spark shoots from the ring. Harry holds his hand in pain and Dumbledore looks down at him with a quiet look of concern.

HARRY
What just happened sir?

DUMBLEDORE
It seemed like some sort of flesh memory but that’s impossible unless.……

His eyes widen as he stares at Harry and he walks around his desk towards them.

HARRY
Sir what’s wrong.

DUMBLEDORE
Magic always leaves traces Harry…sometimes it’s something so…small….

He places his hand on Harry’s chest and pulls it back quickly. Harry looks down at his chest curiously.

HARRY
Sir…I was just thinking…even if we destroy all the Horcruxes…Voldemort is still really powerful. I’m not nearly as powerful as him.

DUMBLEDORE
You have a power the dark lord knows not Harry…

HARRY
Love? Dumbledore how can love possibly help me defeat him?

DUMBLEDORE
Love, so strong a word, and I wish you would understand just how important it is that you have it Harry. I can only hope you realize it’s importance…because only that is the key to winning against him.

Dumbledore turns his back on Harry.

DUMBLEDORE
I think I may be close to finding another Horcrux and I may need someone to accompany me to get it. I just ask one favor; from now on always keep your invisibility cloak with you Harry. Never let it out of your sight.

Dumbledore turns around and looks at Harry with a weak smile. Harry nods as the screen slowly fades.

INT. HOGWARTS-HALLWAY-NIGHT

We see Harry walking slowly down the halls of Hogwarts. He takes a seat next to a window and looks out of it. He puts his hand on his chest and sighs.

INT. GRYFFINDOR COMMON ROOM-NIGHT

The scene cuts to Harry, Ron, and Hermione sitting in the dark common room.

HERMIONE
So when you touched the ring you saw images of all the Horcruxes?

HARRY
Yeah...after it happened Dumbledore started acting really strange. What would cause that to happen?

HERMIONE
I’m not sure Harry. Maybe it has something to do with the connection between you and Voldemort. You can never be sure with dark magic.

HARRY
So what have you two been up too?

RON
Well Lavender dumped me when she saw me coming out of the dormitory with Hermione.

HARRY
Well you don’t mind it’s over, do you?

RON
No, it was pretty bad while she was yelling, but atleast I didn’t have to finish it

HERMIONE
Well, it was a bad night for romance all around. Ginny and Dean broke up aswell…

HARRY
Really? Why?

HERMIONE
Something silly about him always trying to help her through the portrait hole.

They look up as Ginny walks into the common room.

RON
Where have you been? What are you coming in this late for?

GINNY
None of you business Ron…what’s going on?

HARRY
You alright Ginny?

GINNY
Yeah fine…

She takes a seat next to Ron.

GINNY
I was just walking around thinking actually…ran into Draco…

HARRY
Really? Where was he?

GINNY
Leaving the seventh floor….why?

Harry looks over at Ron and Hermione and quickly grabs his bag and pulls out the Mauraders Map.

HERMIONE
Harry don’t…..

HARRY
I solemny swear that I am up to no good.

He looks into the map and smiles.

HARRY
There you are.

INT. DARK CORRIDOR/BOYS BATHROOM-NIGHT

Harry looks over his shoulder as he turns down the hall where he saw Draco’s position on the map. He pauses at the boy’s bathroom and hears crying on the inside. He slowly walks into it and we see Draco on his kneeling over the sink crying and whispering to himself.

DRACO
I can’t do this…it won’t work…he’s going to kill me…

He looks up and notices in the mirror in front of him Harry standing there. He quickly pulls out his wand and a spell flies off his wand hitting the wall beside Harry. Harry pulls out his wand and throws out a spell and Malfoy blocks it.

DRACO
I’ve had enough of your meddling Potter!

Malfoy throws another non verbal spell that Harry ducks and it explodes the toilet behind him. Harry throws a spell that Malfoy jumps out of the way of.

HARRY
So finish it then!

MALFOY
Crucio!

Harry ducks behind into a stall and narrowly avoids the curse.

HARRY
EXPELLIARMUS!

DRACO
PROTEGO!

The spell deflects back onto Harry knocking him off of his feet. Harry immediately jumps to his feet as Draco points his wand at him.

DRACO
Cruci…

HARRY
SECTUMSEMPRA!

A spell flies out of Harry’s wand that seems to do a few multiple stabs on Draco’s chest as blood shoots out of it and hits Harry in the face. He sends out a gasp and falls quickly to the ground. His breathing is heavy as blood continues to poor out of him.

ArryGrotter June 5th, 2008 9:52 am

Re: Fan Scripts: Script your own version of Harry Potter
 
I'm bored, so I thought I'd reply...

Quote:

The door to the hospital wing opens and Ginny walks in carrying Harry’s broom.

GINNY
Alright Harry?

HARRY
Yeah fine…thanks…

GINNY
Thought I’d drop this off.

She sits the broom next to Harry’s bed.

HARRY
So how did the game go?

GINNY
You don’t want to know…sad thing is Luna’s commentary was the only highlight. Well I’ll leave you two…get better soon Harry.

She smiles and walks away as Ron starts eating on some candy. Harry watches as she closes the door and lays back in the bed and closes his eyes.
I don't understand why Ginny's suddenly here...:whistle:
Can't Ron give this info? He did in the book...

Quote:

INT. THE ROOM OF REQURIEMENT-NIGHT

The scene fades to Ginny standing in front of a mirror and Harry walking up behind her. She turns around and smiles at him.

GINNY
You’re a good teacher Harry.

HARRY
Ginny?

She looks up above them and a mistletoe is forming.

GINNY
Mistletoe

HARRY
Probably full of nargles….

GINNY
What are nargles?

HARRY
No idea…

He goes in to kiss her and there is a SLAM and both Harry and Ginny look over to see an angry Ron standing in the room.

RON
What’s going on?

HARRY
Ron…wait...it’s not what you think!

Ron pulls out his wand and walks angrily up to Harry.

RON
I thought you were my friend Harry!

HARRY
Wait…Ron…I’m sorry…

Ron draws back and his fist flies towards Harry’s face as Harry opens his eyes.
OK, now I see why :lol:

OK, nice scene, but I don't like Ginny being compared to Cho...

Quote:

HARRY
Kreacher!

In the middle of the room Kreacher and Dobby apparate and they’re both fighting each other.

DOBBY
Kreacher will not insult Harry Potter in front of Dobby!!!

KREACHER
Kreacher will say what he likes about master, filthy friend of Mudbloods, what would poor Kreachers mistress…

Dobby punches him in his mouth and Kreacher lets out a scream and starts clawing at Dobby. Ron and Harry jump out of the bed and tries to pull them apart. They continue to kick and swing at each other as they pulled apart.
YAY!!! ELVES!!!

Quote:

DOBBY
Greetings Harry Potter sir! Dumbledore hired Dobby to work in the kitchens with the other house elves sir! Shortly after Harry Potter freed Dobby from the evil Malfoys!
This is how easy it is too re-introduce Dobby!

NTW, I love that whole scene :cool:

Quote:

HERMIONE
(Frustrated)
Oh honestly Ron…
(She grabs the parchment from him)
I’ll finish it for you!

RON
I love you, Hermione

He sits back in his chair relived and Hermione blushes slightly and begins to write as the scene fades to…
:tu:

Quote:

INT. SEVENTH FLOOR-NIGHT

The scene cuts to a shot of the hallway and then SWOOSH Harry takes off his invisibility cloak. He slowly begins walking down the hallway on the seventh floor towards where the Room of Requirement is. He stands in front of the wall and looks around before proceeding.

HARRY
I need to see what Malfoy’s doing in here….

Nothing happens.

HARRY
Right…maybe I need to be more specific…I need you to become the place you become for Draco Malfoy….

Nothing happens again.

HARRY
Oh, come off it. That was a clear instruction! Alright how about this…I need you to become the place where Draco is fixing a vanishing cabinet….

Nothing happens again and Harry angrily kicks the wall and quickly regrets it as he yells out in pain.
I'm not sure if this scene is very cinematic :hmm:

Quote:

The screen gets this little haze over it showing that the potion is working.
Not entirely sure if I'd want this effect...

Quote:

SLUGHORN
Yes, indeed! Parry Otter, the Chosen Boy Who…well…
(He starts to sing) And Odo the hero, they bore him back home. To the place that he’d known as a lad….
Odo the Hero...

Quote:

INT. DUMBLEDORE’S OFFICE-LATER THAT NIGHT

The spell vision is gone as Hary knocks on Dumbledore’s office door

DUMBLEDORE
Enter!

Harry walks in with a huge smile on his face

DUMBLEDORE
Good gracious Harry, to what do I owe this very late pleasure?

HARRY
Sir, I’ve got the memory from Slughorn.

He pulls it out and shows it to him.

DUMBLEDORE
Spectacular Harry! Very well done indeed! I knew you could do it!

He walks up to Harry and takes the bottle and walks over to the Pensive.

DUMBLEDORE
And finally, we shall see.

He pours it into the pensive and we see Dumbledore smile at Harry. We now see Harry and Dumbledore standing in the same room where Tom Riddle and Slughorn was in the earlier memory.

INT-SLUGHORNS OFFICE-NIGHT (PAST)

Standing there is a much younger Slughorn holding on to a pineapple with a big grin in his face. Standing across from his is a Teenaged TOM RIDDLE in the room with a young Bellatrix, AVERY, ALECTO, and AMYCUS.

SLUGHORN
Thank you for the pineapple Tom, you’re quite right, it is my favorite!

Slughorn looks down at the small golden clock on his desk.

SLUGHORN
Good gracious, is it that time already? You all better get going, or we’ll all be in trouble. Lestrange, I want your essay by tomorrow or it’s detention! Same goes for you, Avery.

They rest of them gather their things and begin to leave. Bellatrix throws a smile at Tom before exiting as Slughorn sorts through paper on his desk. He looks up and notices Tom standing there.

SLUGHORN
Look sharp Tom. You don’t want to be caught out of bed out of hours….

Tom looks down and twists the RING with a BLACK STONE around his finger and looks up at Slughorn.
TOM
Sir, I wanted to ask you something.

SLUGHORN
Ask away, then, m’boy, ask away…

TOM
Sir, I wondered what you know about….about Horcruxes?

SLUGHORN
Project for Defense Against the Dark Arts, is it?

TOM
Not exactly sir, I came across the term while reading and I didn’t fully understand it.

SLUGHORN
You’d be hard pushed to find a book at Hogwarts that’ll give you details on Horcruxes. That’s very Dark stuff Tom.

TOM
You obviously know all about them, I mean a wizard like you. If you can’t tell me, I’d understand. I just knew if anyone could tell me, you could.

SLUGHORN
Well, it can’t hurt to give you an overview. A Horcrux is the word used for an object in which a person has concealed part of their soul.

TOM
I don’t quite understand how that works, though, sir.

SLUGHORN
Well, you split your soul, you see. And hide part of it in an object outside the body. Then, even if one’s body is attacked or destroyed, one cannot die, for part of their soul remains earthbound and undamaged. Few would want this however Tom, death would be preferable.

TOM
How do you split your soul?

SLUGHORN
By committing murder, the supreme act of evil. Killing rips the soul apart. The wizard intent upon creating a Horcrux would use the damage to his advantage: He would encase the torn portion…

TOM
Encase? But how…

SLUGHORN
There is a spell, do not ask me, I don’t know. Do I look as though I have tried it?

TOM
No sir, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to offend you.

SLUGHORN
Not offended Tom, it’s natural to feel curiousity about these things.

TOM
Sir, what I want to know is, will one Horcrux be much use? Can you only split your soul once? Wouldn’t it be better, make you stronger, to have your soul in more pieces, isn’t seven the most powerful magical number?

SLUGHORN
Merlin’s beard, Tom! Seven! Isn’t it bad enough to think of killing one person? In any case, it’s bad enough to divide the soul…but to rip it into seven pieces…this is all hypothetical, what we’re discussing isn’t it? All academic…

TOM
Yes, of course.

SLUGHORN
Keep it quiet, what I’ve told you. It’s a banned subject in Hogwarts…Dumbledore’s particularly fierce about it!

TOM
I won’t say a word sir.

He smiles and we see what looks like a flash of red in his eyes as Dumbledore grabs Harry’s shoulder and FLASH we’re back in his office.

INT. DUMBLEDORE’S OFFICE-NIGHT (PRESENT DAY)

Dumbledore stands looking at the Pensieve for a moment in silence. Harry watches in equal silence as Dumbledore turns and starts to walk towards his desk.

DUMBLEDORE
Do you understand the significance of what we just saw Harry? Tom Riddle was doing all he could to find out how to make himself immortal.

HARRY
And do you think he succeeded sir?

DUMBLEDORE
Yes, Harry. As far as I know the most someone has split their souls were two. Four years ago I received something that gave me proof that he’d split his soul.

HARRY
What was it?

Dumbledore opens up the desk and pulls out the diary that Harry destroyed in year two and sits it on his desk.

HARRY
That’s Tom Riddle’s diary…wait…that was a Horcrux sir?

DUMBLEDORE
Yes, and now thanks to that memory we are closer to finishing off Lord Voldemort. Seven, yes, I think the idea of a seven part soul would greatly appeal to him.

He reaches into his desk again and pulls out the ring he was wearing earlier in the film and sits it on his desk aswell.

HARRY
That ring? You were wearing that when you picked me up from the Dursleys…wait…didn’t Voldemort have it on in that memory? Was it also a Horcrux?

DUMBLEDORE
Yes Harry. It belonged to his mother…it was terribly hard to find...but I did and destroyed it.

He holds up his now worse blackened hand for Harry to see. Harry stares at it for a moment and looks down at the ring.

HARRY
So if we destroy all the Horcruxes…

DUMBLEDORE
Voldemort can be killed.

Harry looks down at the ring again and slowly reaches out to touch it and SWOOSH we see flashes of Nagini, Dumbledore putting the ring on his hand and his hand slowly decaying as he does, the locket around Tom Riddle’s neck, a small CUP falling out of a woman’s hand, Tom Riddle walking down the halls of Hogwarts holding a DIADEM with a smile on his face, and the diary and SWOOSH we see Harry pull his hand back quickly as a spark shoots from the ring. Harry holds his hand in pain and Dumbledore looks down at him with a quiet look of concern.

HARRY
What just happened sir?

DUMBLEDORE
It seemed like some sort of flesh memory but that’s impossible unless.……

His eyes widen as he stares at Harry and he walks around his desk towards them.

HARRY
Sir what’s wrong.

DUMBLEDORE
Magic always leaves traces Harry…sometimes it’s something so…small….

He places his hand on Harry’s chest and pulls it back quickly. Harry looks down at his chest curiously.

HARRY
Sir…I was just thinking…even if we destroy all the Horcruxes…Voldemort is still really powerful. I’m not nearly as powerful as him.

DUMBLEDORE
You have a power the dark lord knows not Harry…

HARRY
Love? Dumbledore how can love possibly help me defeat him?

DUMBLEDORE
Love, so strong a word, and I wish you would understand just how important it is that you have it Harry. I can only hope you realize it’s importance…because only that is the key to winning against him.

Dumbledore turns his back on Harry.

DUMBLEDORE
I think I may be close to finding another Horcrux and I may need someone to accompany me to get it. I just ask one favor; from now on always keep your invisibility cloak with you Harry. Never let it out of your sight.

Dumbledore turns around and looks at Harry with a weak smile. Harry nods as the screen slowly fades.

INT. HOGWARTS-HALLWAY-NIGHT

We see Harry walking slowly down the halls of Hogwarts. He takes a seat next to a window and looks out of it. He puts his hand on his chest and sighs.
This seems too familiar (:p), but I like that you add the love reference.

Quote:

DRACO
Cruci…

HARRY
SECTUMSEMPRA!

A spell flies out of Harry’s wand that seems to do a few multiple stabs on Draco’s chest as blood shoots out of it and hits Harry in the face. He sends out a gasp and falls quickly to the ground. His breathing is heavy as blood continues to poor out of him.
Cliffhanger!!! Ooooh!!!

Good work :tu:

lcbaseball22 June 5th, 2008 1:09 pm

Re: Fan Scripts: Script your own version of Harry Potter
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by Phrozenone (Post 5047682)
Now I better see some input on this or I may take longer next time :lol:

Oh no!!! :scared: Well, in that case I better reply to BOTH, the previous one AND the last one which I forgot about, Sorry! :D

Ok, I'm going in order this time, rather than Good then Bad or vice versa

Quote:

INT. HOGWARTS-DEFENSE AGAINST THE DARK ARTS-MOMENTS LATER

SNAPE
Late again, Potter. Ten points from Gryffindor.

Seamus raises his hand as a few Slytherians chuckle at Harry.

SEAMUS
Sir! I’ve been wondering, how do you tell the difference between an Inferius and a ghost? Because there was something in the paper about an Inferious….

SNAPE
No, there wasn’t….

RON
(Whispering to Harry)
Well?

HARRY
No luck…he stormed out on me…..

SNAPE
Since Potter seems to have a lot to say on the subject.

Harry and Ron look up and notice Snape looking right down at them.

SNAPE
Mr. Finnegan would like to know Potter….how can we tell the difference between an Inferius and a ghost?

HARRY
Well….er…ghosts are transparent….

SNAPE
Oh, very good. Yes, it is easy to see that nearly six years of magical education have not been wasted on you, Potter. Ghosts are transparent.

Most of the class begins to laugh and Snape does a slight smirk before turning away from Harry.

SNAPE
The Inferius is a corpse that has been reanimated by a Dark wizard’s spell. It is not alive, it is merely used like a puppet to do the wizard’s bidding.

SEAMUS
Is there no way to defeat them sir?

SNAPE
Fire is known to be the most common use for fighting against the Inferius. Now enough friendly chatter all of you open your books to page two hundred and thirteen.
I really HOPE that line about Magical Education not being wasted is in the film, it's just too good not to be, right? I'm imagining Mr. Rickman saying this as I type :cool:

I noticed you left out Snape's actual explanation of the difference, which I suppose is best since Ghosts aren't the important part! But, you end up losing Ron's wisecrack, "Excuse me Sir, are you imprint of a dead soul?" :lol:

Quote:

INT. THE GREAT HALL-EVENING

TWYCROSS
Now the important things to remember when Apparating are the three D’s. Destination, Determination, Deliberation! Fix your mind firmly upon the desired destination, focus your determination to occupy the visualized space, and only when I give the command turn on the spot, feeling your way into nothingness, moving with deliberation! Now, One, Two, THREE!!

The students all close their eyes and have a strained look on their face. We see Harry open one of his eyes to look around and notice that everyone else just seems to be standing. All of a sudden Neville faints and everyone opens their eyes and laugh.


TWYCROSS
Now now everyone concentrate! Lets try this again won’t we…One, Two, THREE!!!!

They close their eyes start spinning and some start falling on the floor. One student lets out of screech of pain as one student is in the hoop while one leg is still on the outside. Twycross waves his wand and there’s a puff of purple smoke and the student is back together.

TWYCROSS
That was called Splinching, or the separation of random body parts occurs when the mind is insufficiently determined. Now once again, GO!

The students close their eyes and the camera zooms in on Harry. He disappears and reappears in the circle hoop. He opens his eyes and everyone stares at him. Some look in amazement whereas Draco and his friends frown at Harry’s accomplishment.

TWYCROSS
Very good Mr. Potter, very good! Now lets go at it again why won’t we
I'm glad you kept the Appariton Lesson, I wonder if Kloves will do the same, hmm. I really think it's a good idea considering how much apparition is used from here on out, it needs to be explained! Though, it's a bit odd, because in the Films apparition appears to be "smoke flying" at times and "snapping your fingers" at others. Neither of which matches what's in the Book and what you have here! :lol:

Quote:

HERMIONE
Looks like Dumbledore’s back…

We now see that the figures walking are Dumbledore and Snape. Harry holds up a finger to his lips to signal that Hermione should keep quiet and he slowly walks down towards them while remaining in the shadows. Harry finds a spot behind a tree and stays there as Dumbledore and Snape slowly walk past the spot.

SNAPE
You take a great deal for granted, Dumbledore…perhaps I’ve changed my mind!

DUMBLEDORE
You gave me your word, Severus.

Dumbledore turns and says something that Harry can’t hear but we see him struggle to. Snape stares at Dumbledore for a moment in silence and Dumbledore looks away, sighs, and continues to walk.

DUMBLEDORE
Come to my office tonight, Severus, at eleven, and you shall not complain that I have no confidence in you. Right now I’m afraid we may not be alone and such topics shouldn’t be discussed out in the open.
Good idea! :tu: I like how Harry hears this first-hand rather than from, it was Hagrid, wasn't it?

Quote:

EXT. HOGWARTS-QUIDDITCH FIELD-MOMENTS LATER

The scene cuts to the Quidditch game already in session. We see a player from the Hufflepuff team fly by with the Quaffle and then the camera moves towards the crowd to show Luna with the microphone.

LUNA
And that’s Smith of Hufflepuff with the Quaffle. Oh look, he’s lost the Quaffle again, he must be suffering from loser’s largy. He can’t seem to hold the Quaffle for very long. Ginny took it from him this time, I do like her, she’s very nice….

We see McGonagall cast a look at Luna and then the camera cuts back to Harry as he hovers above them. He watches Ginny as she flies quickly towards the goal posts but the Quaffle is taken from her by an opposing player.

LUNA
Oh it seems like that big Hufflepuff player’s got the Quaffle from her, I can’t remember his name, it’s something like Bibble…no…Buggins…

MCGONAGALL
It’s Cadwallader!

LUNA
Thank you professor. And if anyone is interesting there’s this interesting cloud that seems to be shaped like a nargle right there if you look past Harry Potter.
Yea, Luna's Commentary!!! :lol::lol::lol:

I really hope we get this in the film, it's completley unecessary, but it's so funny!


Ok, now on to your most recent portion:

Quote:

INT. THE ROOM OF REQURIEMENT-NIGHT

The scene fades to Ginny standing in front of a mirror and Harry walking up behind her. She turns around and smiles at him.

GINNY
You’re a good teacher Harry.

HARRY
Ginny?

She looks up above them and a mistletoe is forming.

GINNY
Mistletoe

HARRY
Probably full of nargles….

GINNY
What are nargles?

HARRY
No idea…

He goes in to kiss her and there is a SLAM and both Harry and Ginny look over to see an angry Ron standing in the room.
Um, I think I got a DOUBLE dose of DEJA VU! :lol:

Not only does this mirror the Cho Kiss, but didn't you have this SAME dream earlier? :p

Now I realize that Ron makes an entrance this time, but still... you're overdoing it a bit!
Quote:

HARRY
Kreacher!

In the middle of the room Kreacher and Dobby apparate and they’re both fighting each other.

DOBBY
Kreacher will not insult Harry Potter in front of Dobby!!!

KREACHER
Kreacher will say what he likes about master, filthy friend of Mudbloods, what would poor Kreachers mistress…

Dobby punches him in his mouth and Kreacher lets out a scream and starts clawing at Dobby. Ron and Harry jump out of the bed and tries to pull them apart. They continue to kick and swing at each other as they pulled apart.

HARRY
I forbid you to fight each other!

They both stop and stare at each other.

HARRY
Dobby…what are you doing here?

DOBBY
Greetings Harry Potter sir! Dumbledore hired Dobby to work in the kitchens with the other house elves sir! Shortly after Harry Potter freed Dobby from the evil Malfoys!

RON
Just what we need…

HARRY
Well as I’m sure you know by now Kreacher I’m your new master…and I’ve got a job for you.

KREACHER
Kreacher will do whatever Master wants, because Kreacher has no choice, but Kreacher is ashamed to have such a master, yes…

DOBBY
Dobby will do it, Harry Potter! Dobby would be honored.

HARRY
It would be good to have both of you now that I think of it. I want you to tail Draco Malfoy.

RON
What!

HARRY
I want to know where he’s going, who he’s meeting, and what he’s doing. I want you to follow him around the clock.

DOBBY
Yes, Harry Potter!

KREACHER
Master wants me to spy upon the pure-blood great-nephew of my old mistress?

HARRY
Yeah and you’re forbidden to tip him off, or to show him what you’re up to, or to talk to him at all, or to write him messages or…or to contact him in any way. Got it?

KREACHER
Master thinks of everything, and Kreacher must obey him even though Kreacher would much rather be the servant of the Malfoy boy, oh yes…

HARRY
That’s settled then.

Kreacher and Dobby both snap their fingers and disappear.
:clap::clap::clap:

As you can tell from our recent sig additions, Arry and I would be VERY pleased if this makes it into the film!

It's simply the perfect scene to contrast the differences between the Elves and to highlight Dobby's devotion for Harry!


Quote:

HARRY
Dobby?

The camera pans and shows Dobby hiding behind one of the statues in the hallway.

DOBBY
Dobby has come to report news on the Malfoy boy.

RON
Wow you work fast….

HARRY
Where’s Kreacher…you know what...nevermind…what do you have to tell me?

DOBBY
The Malfoy boy is breaking no rules that Dobby can discover. He has, however, been making regular visits to the seventh floor with a variety of other students, who keep watch for him while he enters…

HARRY
The Room of Requirements…
Yea, it's DOBBY again! It's different than in the Book, but there is no need for Kreacher in the "report" scene and it continues to re-establish the devotion Dobby has for Harry. I like the "Wow you work fast" line, it reminds me of "Dobby hasn't slept for a week sir" :cool:

Quote:

HARRY
Wait a moment….what does the Room of Requirement have to do with that Vanishing Cabinet? Hermione….what exactly is a Vanishing Cabinet used for?

HERMIONE
Plenty of things…the most common thing is it acts as a sort of a gateway between two points.

HARRY
What do you mean?

HERMIONE
Well one can travel from one point to another almost instantly with a vanishing cabinet…it’s like a simple form of apparition.

RON
This is ridiculous! How could Snape possibly think we’d finish this essay! I can’t get a hang of apparation and the tests are coming up as well, I can’t take all this pressure!

HERMIONE
Harry and I finished it days ago Ronald, that’s what you get for waiting to the last minute. And Apparation isn’t that bad, you saw that Harry attempted it.

HARRY
Do you think there could be a vanishing cabinet in the room of requirement?

HERMIONE
Harry I know what you’re going to say….

HARRY
It makes sense Hermione. If there’s a cabinet in the room and it’s connected to the one in Borgin and Burke’s….

HERMIONE
Then how come it hasn’t been used already Harry? If what you’re saying is true someone other than Draco knows about it and how come they didn’t use it? Death Eaters would be swarming the school by now…

HARRY
But don’t you remember Hermione Draco has to fix something! I bet the cabinet in the room of requirement has to be fixed and once it’s done it’s a one way pass into Hogwarts right under all of our noses!

HERMIONE
Honestly Harry that’s not very likely…and besides you forget we have Dumbledore…no death eater in their right minds would dare come into the school as long as Dumbledore’s around…
Hmm, I like the idea! It cuts down on the DD and Draco convo on the tower, which is I think is good...

...but I'm a bit concerned this gives too much away! Film audiences are smart, and I feel if you provide them with this info, they'll piece it together the moment DD LEAVES Hogwarts with Harry and they won't be surprised by the Dark Mark over Hogwarts :hmm:

Quote:

EXT. HAGRIDS HUT-NIGHT (MOMENTS LATER)

A wide shot of Hogwarts and we see a giant dead spider in the distance. The scene then fades to Harry, Hagrid, Fang, and Slughorn walking towards Hagrid’s Hut.

HAGRID
I had him from an egg, yeh know. Thank ye for coming out tonight.

SLUGHORN
No problem Hagrid, it’s our pleasure.

We see him turn around and pull out the bottle full of poison.

SLUGHORN
It was my pleasure.

He chuckles and puts it back in his pocket.

HAGRID
Do you’ wan anything to drink?

SLUGHORN
Why…yes…

INT. HAGRID HUT-LATER THAT NIGHT

The scene cuts to Hagrid and Slughorn hitting mugs together sloppily. Its apparent they’ve been drinking for quite some time now.

HAGRID
I’d like to…make a toast..Harry Potter!

SLUGHORN
Yes, indeed! Parry Otter, the Chosen Boy Who…well…
(He starts to sing) And Odo the hero, they bore him back home. To the place that he’d known as a lad….

HAGRID
The good die young…me dad was no age ter go…nor were yer mum an’ dad Harry…terrible thing.

Hagrid then hiccups and falls to the ground asleep with a loud BOOM

SLUGHORN
Sorry, can’t carry a tune to save my life. Apparently put that poor bloke to sleep!

HARRY
Hagrid wasn’t talking about your singing; he was talking about my mum and dad dying.

SLUGHORN
Oh, terrible. I don’t suppose you remember it, Harry?

HARRY
No, I was only one when they died. My dad died first, did you know that?

SLUGHORN
I…I didn’t.

HARRY
Yeah, Voldemort murdered him and then stepped over his body towards my mum. He told her to get out of the way. He told her she needn’t have died, he only wanted me. She could have run.

SLUGHORN
Oh dear, that’s awful…

HARRY
It is, isn’t it! She didn’t move, dad was already dead, but she didn’t want me to go too. She tried to plead with him…but he just laughed…

SLUGHORN
That’s enough! Really, my dear boy, I’m an old man…I don’t need to hear…

HARRY
I forgot, you liked her, didn’t you.

SLUGHORN
Liked her? I don’t imagine anyone who met her wouldn’t have liked her….

HARRY
But you won’t help her son. She gave me her life, but you won’t give me a memory.

Slughorn looks down at Harry and tears slowly form in his eyes.

SLUGHORN
Don’t say that…if it were to help you, of course…but no purpose can be served.

HARRY
It can. I am the Chosen One. I have to kill him. I need that memory.

SLUGHORN
You are the Chosen One?

HARRY
Of course I am.

SLUGHORN
You’re asking a great deal…to aid you in your attempt to destroy…

HARRY
You don’t want to get rid of the wizard who killed Lily Evans?

SLUGHORN
OF course I do Harry, but….

HARRY
You’re scared he’ll find out you helped me? Be brave like my mother, Professor.

SLUGHORN
I am not proud of what that memory shows…I think I may have done great damage that day.

HARRY
You’d cancel out anything you did by giving me that memory. It would be a very brave and noble thing to do.

Slughorn stares at Harry for a second and the camera zoom’s in on Harry’s eyes. Slughorn then pulls his wand out. He places the tip of his wand to his head and pulls out the long threads of the memory and places it into a bottle and corks it. He hands it to Harry.

HARRY
Thank you very much, Professor.

SLUGHORN
You’re a good boy, and you’ve got her eyes…just don’t think too badly of me once you’ve seen it.

He yawns and then lays back and falls asleep.
Ugh, I really disliked this scene in the Book, but I suppose it has to stay! I like how you didn't actually SHOW the Spider's Funeral :rolleyes:
So, good job you took probably my least favorite part of this Book and made it "quick and dirty" :tu:

Quote:

INT. DUMBLEDORE’S OFFICE-NIGHT (PRESENT DAY)

Dumbledore stands looking at the Pensieve for a moment in silence. Harry watches in equal silence as Dumbledore turns and starts to walk towards his desk.

DUMBLEDORE
Do you understand the significance of what we just saw Harry? Tom Riddle was doing all he could to find out how to make himself immortal.

HARRY
And do you think he succeeded sir?

DUMBLEDORE
Yes, Harry. As far as I know the most someone has split their souls were two. Four years ago I received something that gave me proof that he’d split his soul.

HARRY
What was it?

Dumbledore opens up the desk and pulls out the diary that Harry destroyed in year two and sits it on his desk.

HARRY
That’s Tom Riddle’s diary…wait…that was a Horcrux sir?

DUMBLEDORE
Yes, and now thanks to that memory we are closer to finishing off Lord Voldemort. Seven, yes, I think the idea of a seven part soul would greatly appeal to him.

He reaches into his desk again and pulls out the ring he was wearing earlier in the film and sits it on his desk aswell.

HARRY
That ring? You were wearing that when you picked me up from the Dursleys…wait…didn’t Voldemort have it on in that memory? Was it also a Horcrux?

DUMBLEDORE
Yes Harry. It belonged to his mother…it was terribly hard to find...but I did and destroyed it.

He holds up his now worse blackened hand for Harry to see. Harry stares at it for a moment and looks down at the ring.

HARRY
So if we destroy all the Horcruxes…

DUMBLEDORE
Voldemort can be killed.

Harry looks down at the ring again and slowly reaches out to touch it and SWOOSH we see flashes of Nagini, Dumbledore putting the ring on his hand and his hand slowly decaying as he does, the locket around Tom Riddle’s neck, a small CUP falling out of a woman’s hand, Tom Riddle walking down the halls of Hogwarts holding a DIADEM with a smile on his face, and the diary and SWOOSH we see Harry pull his hand back quickly as a spark shoots from the ring. Harry holds his hand in pain and Dumbledore looks down at him with a quiet look of concern.

HARRY
What just happened sir?

DUMBLEDORE
It seemed like some sort of flesh memory but that’s impossible unless.……

His eyes widen as he stares at Harry and he walks around his desk towards them.

HARRY
Sir what’s wrong.

DUMBLEDORE
Magic always leaves traces Harry…sometimes it’s something so…small….

He places his hand on Harry’s chest and pulls it back quickly. Harry looks down at his chest curiously.

HARRY
Sir…I was just thinking…even if we destroy all the Horcruxes…Voldemort is still really powerful. I’m not nearly as powerful as him.

DUMBLEDORE
You have a power the dark lord knows not Harry…

HARRY
Love? Dumbledore how can love possibly help me defeat him?

DUMBLEDORE
Love, so strong a word, and I wish you would understand just how important it is that you have it Harry. I can only hope you realize it’s importance…because only that is the key to winning against him.

Dumbledore turns his back on Harry.

DUMBLEDORE
I think I may be close to finding another Horcrux and I may need someone to accompany me to get it. I just ask one favor; from now on always keep your invisibility cloak with you Harry. Never let it out of your sight.

Dumbledore turns around and looks at Harry with a weak smile. Harry nods as the screen slowly fades.

INT. HOGWARTS-HALLWAY-NIGHT

We see Harry walking slowly down the halls of Hogwarts. He takes a seat next to a window and looks out of it. He puts his hand on his chest and sighs.
ArryGrotter's right, this seems too familiar, hmm I wonder why! :p

BUT, I love how Kloves wrote it, so of course I have the same opinion of yours! :tu:

Quote:

INT. DARK CORRIDOR/BOYS BATHROOM-NIGHT

Harry looks over his shoulder as he turns down the hall where he saw Draco’s position on the map. He pauses at the boy’s bathroom and hears crying on the inside. He slowly walks into it and we see Draco on his kneeling over the sink crying and whispering to himself.

DRACO
I can’t do this…it won’t work…he’s going to kill me…

He looks up and notices in the mirror in front of him Harry standing there. He quickly pulls out his wand and a spell flies off his wand hitting the wall beside Harry. Harry pulls out his wand and throws out a spell and Malfoy blocks it.

DRACO
I’ve had enough of your meddling Potter!

Malfoy throws another non verbal spell that Harry ducks and it explodes the toilet behind him. Harry throws a spell that Malfoy jumps out of the way of.

HARRY
So finish it then!

MALFOY
Crucio!

Harry ducks behind into a stall and narrowly avoids the curse.

HARRY
EXPELLIARMUS!

DRACO
PROTEGO!

The spell deflects back onto Harry knocking him off of his feet. Harry immediately jumps to his feet as Draco points his wand at him.

DRACO
Cruci…

HARRY
SECTUMSEMPRA!

A spell flies out of Harry’s wand that seems to do a few multiple stabs on Draco’s chest as blood shoots out of it and hits Harry in the face. He sends out a gasp and falls quickly to the ground. His breathing is heavy as blood continues to poor out of him.
Ah, I can't wait to see this scene! :drool: DAMN IT Phrozenone, you cut it off HERE, you're Killing me, I wanna know if Draco Dies! :lol:

Quote:

Originally Posted by Phrozenone (Post 5047682)
This next section is TOTALLY different than I imagined it...having just finished writing I'm happy with it..but most may not be.

Yes, it was quite DIFFERENT, but I really enjoyed it! And I'm a bit of I purist, so that's quite an accomplishment! ;)

I think the only part I really wasn't fond of was the Dream, and that's only because it seems chessy and redundant :p

As always, GREAT JOB! :tu::tu::tu:


P.S. I've looked over your DH scripts as well, like you requested... Shall I give feedback here or by owl?

Phrozenone June 6th, 2008 12:12 am

Re: Fan Scripts: Script your own version of Harry Potter
 
Yay replies!! I should use threats more often :evil:


Quote:

Originally Posted by ArryGrotter (Post 5047925)
I'm bored, so I thought I'd reply...

Well since you're bored... :p

Quote:

OK, nice scene, but I don't like Ginny being compared to Cho...
I don't see it as a comparison really. I see it more as Harry replacing Cho with who he really wanted his first kiss to be really....since that's all he has..I'm sure a teenage boy could be a lot more creative with his fantasies but this is a PG-13 movie :lol:

Quote:

YAY!!! ELVES!!!
I did it for you elves fans :p

Quote:

I'm not sure if this scene is very cinematic
Try reading it in a more slapsticky kind of way. As you know I've NEVER had this in any of the previous scripts because I didn't think the RoR mattered so much in the end :lol: I imagine this scene with a little hokey music as Harry tries to get in but fails..so he kicks the wall in anger. Maybe not the most cinematic..but it gets the point across :p

Quote:

Not entirely sure if I'd want this effect...
Yeah I was thinking about that and what I really meant was....the whole color of the film will change you know? It'll be a lot more...bright...so u can tell Harry's using the potion. So in contrast with the rest of the movie it's obvious by this point that he's using a "drug" :lol:

Yay for sex, drugs, and rock n' roll :p

Quote:

This seems too familiar (:p), but I like that you add the love reference.
You know I liked so much what Kloves did to this scene I might have borrowed a few ideas :whistle: It's still different though...I show more Horcruxes than in the script and like you said the love reference which I think is important.

Also from this point on is when EVERYTHING I had plan changed. Originally it was going to cut right to the Great Hall where we learn about the break ups...then I decided to have a scene where Harry is walking and reflecting then cut to the common room where he tells Hermione what happened so the audience can reflect on what just happened more...then Great Hall...then I just moved everything to the Common Room and had Ginny come in and had her be the kind of lead in for the Sectumsempra scene :lol:

Just wanted to share that to show how easy it is for plans to change while you're writing. I found it amusing...I took scenes spanning over a few days and put it in one :p

Quote:

Cliffhanger!!! Ooooh!!!

Good work :tu:
Channeling your inner Barty Crouch Sr. huh? :p

And thanks I'm glad you liked it :)

Quote:

Originally Posted by lcbaseball22 (Post 5047999)
Oh no!!! :scared: Well, in that case I better reply to BOTH, the previous one AND the last one which I forgot about, Sorry! :D

Sounds good :evil:

Quote:

I really HOPE that line about Magical Education not being wasted is in the film, it's just too good not to be, right? I'm imagining Mr. Rickman saying this as I type

I noticed you left out Snape's actual explanation of the difference, which I suppose is best since Ghosts aren't the important part! But, you end up losing Ron's wisecrack, "Excuse me Sir, are you imprint of a dead soul?"
Yeah I hope that line is in too...this is the first draft I've put it in my script and I quite like it. Unfortunatly this scene had only enough room for one wisecrack so I had to give it to Snape :p

Quote:

I'm glad you kept the Appariton Lesson, I wonder if Kloves will do the same, hmm. I really think it's a good idea considering how much apparition is used from here on out, it needs to be explained! Though, it's a bit odd, because in the Films apparition appears to be "smoke flying" at times and "snapping your fingers" at others. Neither of which matches what's in the Book and what you have here!
Yeah I left it in because Harry uses it later in an important situation so why not? I don't know if you read it but originally I had a confrontation with Harry and Draco in this scene but it just wasn't needed in this draft unlike last time.

Yeah I think the apparation in the films depends on your level of magic you know? Originally u just snap and be gone then you move up to a slight wisp of smoke (Kind of like what Dobby did in CoS) then if need be you hit hardcore smoke travel :lol:

Quote:

Good idea! I like how Harry hears this first-hand rather than from, it was Hagrid, wasn't it?
Yeah it was Hagrid and I think it was ArryGrotter who told me in my last draft that the scene where Hagrid tells Harry what he heard was really random so I hope this is better.

Quote:

Yea, Luna's Commentary!!! :lol::lol::lol:

I really hope we get this in the film, it's completley unecessary, but it's so funny!
Yeah :lol::lol: Quidditch was tough to write though...I see Jo's frustration and all I had to do was basically try and copy what she had. This is purely a Luna moment though and since she isn't inthe movie much I say why not!

Quote:

Um, I think I got a DOUBLE dose of DEJA VU!

Not only does this mirror the Cho Kiss, but didn't you have this SAME dream earlier?

Now I realize that Ron makes an entrance this time, but still... you're overdoing it a bit!
Yep same one minus the Ron...which is the point. The first was the show that Harry's feelings for Ginny.....second to show his concern about what Ron thinks about it. I actually like it..and don't worry it won't be another one :lol:

Quote:

As you can tell from our recent sig additions, Arry and I would be VERY pleased if this makes it into the film!

It's simply the perfect scene to contrast the differences between the Elves and to highlight Dobby's devotion for Harry!
Yeah yeah...next time I may not be so nice with the elves :evil:

Quote:

Yea, it's DOBBY again! It's different than in the Book, but there is no need for Kreacher in the "report" scene and it continues to re-establish the devotion Dobby has for Harry. I like the "Wow you work fast" line, it reminds me of "Dobby hasn't slept for a week sir"
Yeah I always thought it'll make sense for Dobby to be the one to report back...plus the scene in the book is soooo long with both of them and the only important bit is the RoR so Kreacher had to get the boot :p

Quote:

Ugh, I really disliked this scene in the Book, but I suppose it has to stay! I like how you didn't actually SHOW the Spider's Funeral
So, good job you took probably my least favorite part of this Book and made it "quick and dirty"
I would NEVER show that funeral :lol: The only importance is the memory. Glad I made ur least fav part a bit better.

I'm gonna be laughing the whole time in HBP during this scene just imagining the look of disgust on your face while watching it :lol::lol:

Quote:

ArryGrotter's right, this seems too familiar, hmm I wonder why!

BUT, I love how Kloves wrote it, so of course I have the same opinion of yours!
Honestly u guys have NO idea how much time doing it that way saves. I was rewritting and noticed I had almost another page of dialogue explaining everything!

Notice Kloves doesn't have Tom and the Diadem in his script thought.....I'm thinking that little bit will be what Harry thinks back to in DH to convince Ron and Hermione to go back...that's why I put it there.

Quote:

Originally Posted by lcbaseball22 (Post 5047999)

Ah, I can't wait to see this scene! :drool: DAMN IT Phrozenone, you cut it off HERE, you're Killing me, I wanna know if Draco Dies! :lol:



Yes, it was quite DIFFERENT, but I really enjoyed it! And I'm a bit of I purist, so that's quite an accomplishment! ;)

I think the only part I really wasn't fond of was the Dream, and that's only because it seems chessy and redundant :p

As always, GREAT JOB! :tu::tu::tu:


P.S. I've looked over your DH scripts as well, like you requested... Shall I give feedback here or by owl?

Well you'll have to wait to see what happens to Draco :evil:

I'm glad you enjoyed it. I know the dream is cheesy..that's the point! :lol: Every Potter film needs cheese..and this is my cheese :D

Thanks so much for the input though...I'll try and get the next section up ASAP...I can't believe I'm almost done! This is by far my favorite draft.

Oh yeah and feel free to post your feedback on DH here in the thread that's fine! Thanks!

Quote:

Originally Posted by lcbaseball22 (Post 5047999)
Hmm, I like the idea! It cuts down on the DD and Draco convo on the tower, which is I think is good...

...but I'm a bit concerned this gives too much away! Film audiences are smart, and I feel if you provide them with this info, they'll piece it together the moment DD LEAVES Hogwarts with Harry and they won't be surprised by the Dark Mark over Hogwarts :hmm:

Ah can't believe I forgot this section....

Here's the thing about the whole cabinet thing (Which is why I'm focusing on it so much in this draft than others) You simply don't see it at all in the book and in all my other scripts you had Draco tell Dumbledore but there's just no point of reference...people would be saying 'Wait...what?' so I'm going the route of 'Harry is insanly accurate in his guess but try to shoot it down using Hermione'

Thus far we've seen the cabinet...now we find out what it does...and we'll of course see it later. I don't think the big secret is Draco letting the DE's in..it's him killing Dumbledore...so I think using the whole Vanishing Cabinet plot throws off the obtion of Draco actually killing someone you know?

He'll say it on the tower...we'll know Harry's been right all along...boo Hermione! :lol: Seeing as we haven't seen Vanishing Cabinets in the films b4 (or never again) I'll focus on it as much as I can...so the audience can actually understand what Draco's talking about in the end.

I hope that makes sense :lol:

Montse June 6th, 2008 1:05 am

Re: Fan Scripts: Script your own version of Harry Potter
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by lcbaseball22 (Post 5047999)
INT. THE ROOM OF REQURIEMENT-NIGHT

The scene fades to Ginny standing in front of a mirror and Harry walking up behind her. She turns around and smiles at him.

GINNY
You’re a good teacher Harry.

HARRY
Ginny?

She looks up above them and a mistletoe is forming.

GINNY
Mistletoe

HARRY
Probably full of nargles….

GINNY
What are nargles?

HARRY
No idea…

He goes in to kiss her and there is a SLAM and both Harry and Ginny look over to see an angry Ron standing in the room


I think I had read this bit and had said already I did not think it would work,I know its a dream ,but too repetitive!!!!
Quote:

Originally Posted by lcbaseball22 (Post 5047999)
HARRY
Well….er…ghosts are transparent….

SNAPE
Oh, very good. Yes, it is easy to see that nearly six years of magical education have not been wasted on you, Potter. Ghosts are transparent.

Most of the class begins to laugh and Snape does a slight smirk before turning away from Harry.


I am sooooo hoping they include this bit!!!I would be so pleased.plus it helps develop the infieri so I really hope they do.
Quote:

Originally Posted by lcbaseball22 (Post 5047999)
HARRY
Do you think there could be a vanishing cabinet in the room of requirement?

HERMIONE
Harry I know what you’re going to say….

HARRY
It makes sense Hermione. If there’s a cabinet in the room and it’s connected to the one in Borgin and Burke’s….

HERMIONE
Then how come it hasn’t been used already Harry? If what you’re saying is true someone other than Draco knows about it and how come they didn’t use it? Death Eaters would be swarming the school by now…

HARRY
But don’t you remember Hermione Draco has to fix something! I bet the cabinet in the room of requirement has to be fixed and once it’s done it’s a one way pass into Hogwarts right under all of our noses!

HERMIONE
Honestly Harry that’s not very likely…and besides you forget we have Dumbledore…no death eater in their right minds would dare come into the school as long as Dumbledore’s around…

I dont know,about this bit either,while it would save explenations on how the deatheaters came in,I dont think Harry should figure it out.It was a good plan from Malfoys side,no one ,not even DD suspected it ,so I dont think anyone should figure it out.

But ,I bet it could work.

Nice work,I am sorry it takes so long for me to post.

lcbaseball22 June 6th, 2008 1:57 am

Re: Fan Scripts: Script your own version of Harry Potter
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by Phrozenone (Post 5048594)
I don't see it as a comparison really. I see it more as Harry replacing Cho with who he really wanted his first kiss to be really....since that's all he has..I'm sure a teenage boy could be a lot more creative with his fantasies but this is a PG-13 movie :lol:

Yep same one minus the Ron...which is the point. The first was the show that Harry's feelings for Ginny.....second to show his concern about what Ron thinks about it. I actually like it..and don't worry it won't be another one :lol:

Yeah, I see you're trying to figure out ways to throw this part in:
HBP, Chapter 15: The Unbreakable Vow

“There isn’t anyone I want to invite,” mumbled Harry, who was still not trying to think about Ginny any more than he could help, despite the fact the fact that she kept cropping up in his dreams in ways that made him devoutly thankful that Ron could not perform Legilimency.


...and it's not really "specific" there's only that 1 scene earlier where Harry imagines it's HIM kissing Ginny behind the tapestry instead of Dean, and Ron enters furiously...

That line about being "devoutly thankful that Ron could not perform Legilimency" makes me think his dreams are a little more, um "sexual" but you're right this is a PG-13 movie (far as we know) so I suppose this works! :p

Quote:

Originally Posted by Phrozenone (Post 5048594)
I did it for you elves fans :p

Yeah yeah...next time I may not be so nice with the elves :evil:

Are you saying YOU don't like the Elves? But Dobby's so cute and innocent... Kreacher, well at least he redeems himself :lol:

Quote:

Originally Posted by Phrozenone (Post 5048594)
Try reading it in a more slapsticky kind of way. As you know I've NEVER had this in any of the previous scripts because I didn't think the RoR mattered so much in the end :lol: I imagine this scene with a little hokey music as Harry tries to get in but fails..so he kicks the wall in anger. Maybe not the most cinematic..but it gets the point across :p

:lol: Yeah, that could be kinda funny, it would mirror the scenes with Filch (which I thought were retarded though) in OotP...

Quote:

Yeah I was thinking about that and what I really meant was....the whole color of the film will change you know? It'll be a lot more...bright...so u can tell Harry's using the potion. So in contrast with the rest of the movie it's obvious by this point that he's using a "drug" :lol:

Yay for sex, drugs, and rock n' roll :p
Oh, I get it now! Yep, that would be a cool idea, I thought at first when you said "hazy" it would appear that he was drunk or drugged, which doesn't make much sense! It is a "drug" yet the effect would be the opposite I think, it wouldn't impair him!:no:

Quote:

Yeah I always thought it'll make sense for Dobby to be the one to report back...plus the scene in the book is soooo long with both of them and the only important bit is the RoR so Kreacher had to get the boot :p
Yep, it is a LONG scene isn't it, good job of cutting it down to bare essentials! :tu:

Quote:

I'm gonna be laughing the whole time in HBP during this scene just imagining the look of disgust on your face while watching it :lol::lol:
:lol: Um yeah, I'm still praying that Kloves figures out something creative for this :whistle:

Quote:

Honestly u guys have NO idea how much time doing it that way saves. I was rewritting and noticed I had almost another page of dialogue explaining everything!

Notice Kloves doesn't have Tom and the Diadem in his script thought.....I'm thinking that little bit will be what Harry thinks back to in DH to convince Ron and Hermione to go back...that's why I put it there.
Yeah, this Chapter has a LOT of Dialogue (and ARGUING), much like the "Lost Prophecy" chapter in OotP, and we know how much Goldenberg cut THAT down! :grumble: But I'm really happy with what Kloves appears to have done with this scene! :cool:

Yeah, I noticed you threw in the Diadem and the love bit as well, I think that's a good idea too :tu: Do you think Kloves will keep the scene in the RoR with the DIADEM when he hides the Book? Maybe one of those oh so obvious closeups of it, which let you KNOW this item is important, yet we don't find out until DH? I think he needs SOMETHING to refer or flashback to, and after all this is how Jo handled it in the Book... :whistle:

Quote:

Originally Posted by Phrozenone (Post 5048594)

Here's the thing about the whole cabinet thing (Which is why I'm focusing on it so much in this draft than others) You simply don't see it at all in the book and in all my other scripts you had Draco tell Dumbledore but there's just no point of reference...people would be saying 'Wait...what?' so I'm going the route of 'Harry is insanly accurate in his guess but try to shoot it down using Hermione'

Thus far we've seen the cabinet...now we find out what it does...and we'll of course see it later. I don't think the big secret is Draco letting the DE's in..it's him killing Dumbledore...so I think using the whole Vanishing Cabinet plot throws off the obtion of Draco actually killing someone you know?

He'll say it on the tower...we'll know Harry's been right all along...boo Hermione! :lol: Seeing as we haven't seen Vanishing Cabinets in the films b4 (or never again) I'll focus on it as much as I can...so the audience can actually understand what Draco's talking about in the end.

I hope that makes sense :lol:

Yeah, that makes sense, I understand your aim!

Ok, here's my suggestion, just include the part that explains WHAT it DOES:

Quote:

HARRY
Wait a moment….what does the Room of Requirement have to do with that Vanishing Cabinet? Hermione….what exactly is a Vanishing Cabinet used for?

HERMIONE
Plenty of things…the most common thing is it acts as a sort of a gateway between two points.

HARRY
What do you mean?

HERMIONE
Well one can travel from one point to another almost instantly with a vanishing cabinet…it’s like a simple form of apparition.
After all, I believe in OotP we received an explanation from (Fred and George?) when they shoved Montague in there, which was missing from the film, so it's good to EXPLAIN it's USE! :tu:

But, I think the rest of it gives too much away, you ending up losing the shock, though I suppose there might be enough Shock in Snape killing DD, but still...

I'd like for the audience to continue believing Hogwarts is safe until they see the Dark Mark! :p

Then again, that shock may end up being ruined by the trailers anyway... :whistle:

Phrozenone June 7th, 2008 2:17 am

Re: Fan Scripts: Script your own version of Harry Potter
 
Alright well I have some sad news everyone.

I am now currently at the final act of this version of my HBP script...HOWEVER...my page count is currently 160. If you all know the longest Harry Potter film Chamber of Secrets is 161...so I'm currently at that length BEFORE the third act which is a no no :no:

As you all know there is a certain length that scripts are to be considered acceptable. Anything over about 130 is considered to long. We all know a few films are longer than that and have been successful but there are more failures than not and for a HP film my HBP is just too long. And seeing as I'm trying to do an realistic time limit it means I'm at the point where some sideplots have to be cut.

So I just wanted to announce that Trelawney is officially cut from my HBP script. I know I know what about the big reveal about Snape....that would just have to be a side note that won't play out this time. It can very well be used in DH with the same effect. It's just with so much going on in HBP alot of the nice little side things that fans love won't make it but u guys know I tried.

Just wanted to say that so when the next section is posted and there's no Trelawney no questions will be asked. I'll leave what I have..just no that in my script all those bits with Trelawney will be gone. Also the whole 'Eileen Prince' bit won't make it. Once again good to know but not necessary. We'll find out Snape is the HBP but the orgin of the name simply isn't important I'm sorry to say. The important part is that it's Snape and I'm gonna leave it at that.

I just wanted to show that even with me cutting out the Gaunts...Dursley's...Hepedzah Smith...Morfin and Tom's memory...Harrys' detentions...and alot of other interesting bits my script is still TOO LONG! I did this to get a view into why the filmakers cut certain things and I'm starting to see why. Even with all the cuts and changes I've made my script is still to long to be acceptable (Especially when I still have a good 20+ mins to go until it's done)

I'm not even sure how the actual funeral will work in now but we'll get to that later. I just wanted to say I see now why Trelawney and co were cut. As interesting as those bits are...I have to move them for more important things. The next section I post you'll also see a BIG change which I did not only for time reasons...but I just thought it worked best cinematically. You'll see what I mean.

So there's that...I know some of you won't mourn the absence of Trelawney but as we all know sacrifices must be made. After I do that and there's STILL not enough time then other things will be trimmed..but for now that is all.

Also Icbaseball I COMPLETELY agree with you on the whole Vanishing Cabinet bit and that change has been made. It's just simply to much info to early...after reading over it again I see your point (This is why i love feedback :p) Hermione's explanation will be enough to get the audience thinking that's for sure so thanks for that!

ArryGrotter June 7th, 2008 3:36 am

Re: Fan Scripts: Script your own version of Harry Potter
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by Phrozenone (Post 5049574)
Alright well I have some sad news everyone.

I am now currently at the final act of this version of my HBP script...HOWEVER...my page count is currently 160. If you all know the longest Harry Potter film Chamber of Secrets is 161...so I'm currently at that length BEFORE the third act which is a no no :no:

As you all know there is a certain length that scripts are to be considered acceptable. Anything over about 130 is considered to long. We all know a few films are longer than that and have been successful but there are more failures than not and for a HP film my HBP is just too long. And seeing as I'm trying to do an realistic time limit it means I'm at the point where some sideplots have to be cut.

So I just wanted to announce that Trelawney is officially cut from my HBP script. I know I know what about the big reveal about Snape....that would just have to be a side note that won't play out this time. It can very well be used in DH with the same effect. It's just with so much going on in HBP alot of the nice little side things that fans love won't make it but u guys know I tried.

Just wanted to say that so when the next section is posted and there's no Trelawney no questions will be asked. I'll leave what I have..just no that in my script all those bits with Trelawney will be gone. Also the whole 'Eileen Prince' bit won't make it. Once again good to know but not necessary. We'll find out Snape is the HBP but the orgin of the name simply isn't important I'm sorry to say. The important part is that it's Snape and I'm gonna leave it at that.

I just wanted to show that even with me cutting out the Gaunts...Dursley's...Hepedzah Smith...Morfin and Tom's memory...Harrys' detentions...and alot of other interesting bits my script is still TOO LONG! I did this to get a view into why the filmakers cut certain things and I'm starting to see why. Even with all the cuts and changes I've made my script is still to long to be acceptable (Especially when I still have a good 20+ mins to go until it's done)

I'm not even sure how the actual funeral will work in now but we'll get to that later. I just wanted to say I see now why Trelawney and co were cut. As interesting as those bits are...I have to move them for more important things. The next section I post you'll also see a BIG change which I did not only for time reasons...but I just thought it worked best cinematically. You'll see what I mean.

So there's that...I know some of you won't mourn the absence of Trelawney but as we all know sacrifices must be made. After I do that and there's STILL not enough time then other things will be trimmed..but for now that is all.

Also Icbaseball I COMPLETELY agree with you on the whole Vanishing Cabinet bit and that change has been made. It's just simply to much info to early...after reading over it again I see your point (This is why i love feedback :p) Hermione's explanation will be enough to get the audience thinking that's for sure so thanks for that!

I know the difficulty's of length. My script's sitting at 70 and I'm at flying lessons (chapter 9 of 17). Mine would come out at 200 if I keep going the same way.

I am actually quite surprised it's 160 BEFORE the cave (I'm guessing that's where you're at) and you've been cutting for Africa!!! Hmm... I'm probably not the best to help you! :lol:

la_z_boy June 20th, 2008 9:24 pm

Re: Fan Scripts: Script your own version of Harry Potter
 
Well, I'm working on a HBP script of my own. I'm currently on page 82 and am on the memory that takes place in DD's office and is between Tom Riddle and DD.

If I wanted to post what I've written so far on here, how would I do that?

ArryGrotter June 21st, 2008 12:32 am

Re: Fan Scripts: Script your own version of Harry Potter
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by la_z_boy (Post 5064348)
Well, I'm working on a HBP script of my own. I'm currently on page 82 and am on the memory that takes place in DD's office and is between Tom Riddle and DD.

If I wanted to post what I've written so far on here, how would I do that?

Just copy and paste it. Don't worry about the formatting, cos I know that it'll comeout differently.

You might want to put expand tags

[expand=*Put a label here that will always be seen*]*Put the script here, it'll only be seen when the expand button is pressed*[/expand]

Phrozenone June 26th, 2008 5:43 am

Re: Fan Scripts: Script your own version of Harry Potter
 
Hello All!!!

Just wanted to stop in and say that I have FINISHED my 4th draft of HBP :D

As u all have read about I was running long but I'm proud to say that I have cut it down to 158 which I think is a decent time to tell the HBP story...BUT alot of things that have been posted didn't make the final cut. I'll be posting the next bit once I read through it again but I just wanted to tell u all what more I had to cut to get it down.

The whole Cho bit is gone..liked it..but oh well :lol:

Tonks and Lupins relationship troubles....gone. I had to do it. Good subplot...certainly not that well developed in the books...but combined those scenes took up SO much time that i could use other things with. Soooooo I took another cue from the actual movie and have Tonks and Lupin just be together during Christmas. It works I think and I will be posting the new bits as soon as I can. I did however keep Tonks picking Harry up and the hint of her troubles by looking at the moon. I guess u can say that everything still kinda of happens the same but we just don't see it (and it's MUCH earlier :p)

The problem with this however is NOTHING happens during Christmas time now. Without Scrimgeour or Tonks/Lupin the scene just doesn't do much...I mean i guess I could put a battle scene there....wait.....

My RoR dream sequeces had to go aswell. Alas I liked them (although it seemed alot of you didn't :evil:) but they too had to be placed on the cutting room floor.

Neville's scene with McGonnagal also was cut and I kind of figured it would be when I wrote it but I put it there just in case. It's rare in the films where another character has a scene that Harry isn't in and once again doing film adaptations you loose alot of those wonderful character moments.

Now of course you all haven't seen anything post Sectumsempra and I'm kind of afraid to post it because of the changes I made :lol: I think this is really where I put my adaptation mind to work. I'm trying to decide if I should tell you now what I've changed to prepare you or just let you read it and yell at the screen urselfs...hmmmmm

All in all though I'm happy with it. I'm happy that i pulled it off and that I stayed faithful enough to the text yet have changed things around yet kept the 'feeling' which is important (Then again that's just my opinion) Since I've had you all waiting this long however I'll post a bit of the next portion..it's just a teaser..but it'll give u a sense of the liberties I took and be warned u all may not like it :lol: But of course I'd LOVE too hear feedback and I'll post more later. Also I'm trying to decide if I should tackle doing a 2 move DH script (BTW IC I still haven't heard ur critique on it yet :p) So here's a little snippit of the next section of my HBP script:

Quote:

HARRY
SECTUMSEMPRA!

A spell flies out of Harry’s wand that seems to do a few multiple stabs on Draco’s chest as blood shoots out of it and hits Harry in the face. He sends out a gasp and falls quickly to the ground. His breathing is heavy as blood continues to poor out of him.

HARRY
Draco…no…HELP! SOMEONE PLEASE!

The door flies open and Snape runs in. He looks at Harry and then quickly at Draco’s bloody body on the floor. He runs and kneels down to Malfoy. He pulls out his wand and starts to mutter an incantation under his breathe. The blood flow begins to stop and we see the wounds knitting themselves. He helps Malfoy up, who is slouching in pain still.

SNAPE
You need the hospital wing.

Malfoy puts his arm around Snapes neck and they begin to walk out of the bathroom.

SNAPE
And you Potter…you wait here for me.

They walk out of the door and the scene cuts to Harry staring at the mirror in the bathroom with a look of shock still in his eyes. Snape walks into the bathroom and Harry turns to face him. Snape stares at him for a moment in silence.

HARRY
I…I didn’t mean it to happen, I didn’t know what that spell did.

SNAPE
Apparently I underestimated you, Potter. Who would have thought you knew such Dark Magic? Who taught you that spell?

HARRY
I…read it somewhere.

SNAPE
Where?

HARRY
It was a library book, I can’t remember what it was called.

Snape looks into Harry’s eyes and Harry quickly looks away.


SNAPE
Bring me your schoolbag and all of your schoolbooks. All of them. Bring them to me now!

Harry stares at Snape for a moment and then walks past him and exits the bathroom. Snape continues to watch him as he leaves.

INT. COMMON ROOM-NIGHT-MOMENTS LATER

The scene cuts to Ron, Ginny, and Hermione still sitting around the fireplace. They look up as Harry still covered in Draco’s blood walks slowly in. Hermione gasps as Ron and Ginny jump up.

RON
Blimey Harry what happened?

HERMIONE
Harry is that blood?

HARRY
I…I need your book Ron…..

RON
Wha?

HARRY
I need your Potions book. Quick….give it to me….

RON
But what about the Half-Blood….

HARRY
I’ll explain later Ron..just…please!

Ron nods and runs up to the dorms as Harry sits down and places his head in his hands.

HERMIONE
Harry what happened? Are you hurt?

HARRY
No…Malfoy….the Prince….I need to hide my Potions book.

HERMIONE
But why….?


Ron comes back down and hands Harry his book. Harry takes it and stuffs it in his schoolbag and takes out his potions book. He stares at it for a moment as Ron, Hermione, and Ginny look on in silence. He turns around and looks at them.

HARRY
Any ideas on where I can hide this thing?

The three of them look at each other.

GINNY
I think I may know a place.

INT. SEVENTH FLOOR-MOMENTS LATER

The scene cuts to Harry and Ginny walking down the seventh floor hallway in silence. They stopped in front of where the Room of Requirement is.

HARRY
The Room of Requirement?

GINNY
We need a place to hide Harry’s book….

A door slowly starts to form before their eyes and once it does it opens before them. Harry and Ginny look at each other and Harry walks into the room and Ginny follows.

INT. ROOM OF REQUIREMENT-MOMENTS LATER

They pause at the sight in front of them. The room is full of things obviously hidden by past Hogwarts students. There are rows of books, damaged furniture, and various magical objects. Harry grabs Ginny’s hand and they begin to run through the room looking for a place to hide the book. Harry pauses at a large cupboard and opens it. Meanwhile Ginny continues to walk ahead of Harry and looks around the corner where she see’s a VANISHING CABINET sitting there.

HARRY
I think I’ll hide it here. Ginny do you see anything I can put on this cupboard so I can find it when I get back?

Ginny looks around and notices a TIARA sitting on top of one of the books and grabs it and walks towards Harry. Harry closes the cupboard and Ginny hands him the tiara. He quickly takes it and places it on top of the head of a bust of an old wizard.

HARRY
That way I will be able to find it.

Harry looks down at Ginny and smiles.

HARRY
Thanks so much for your help Ginny…I don’t know how much trouble I’m in but….

Ginny places a finger over Harry’s mouth. They both look into each other eyes quietly and then they slowly move into each other and begin to kiss. Ginny then backs away slowly.

GINNY
You should hurry. I’ll see you when you get back.

They stare at each other for another moment and Ginny turns and walks slowly away from Harry. He watches for a moment and the scene fades to…
Ok and that's all you're getting :p I'll post the rest later but yes I changed the kiss and it took me some time to decide upon this.I think it kind of works this way for the film atleast...and I knew that with the time limits I just didn't have time to do the whole detention..quidditch..common room bit...BUT I do have a sort of hint of it in the script but you'll have to wait to see it. Anywho until next time everyone!

Montse June 26th, 2008 6:07 am

Re: Fan Scripts: Script your own version of Harry Potter
 
Hey , not fair. Well, I like what I read here. Ilike the Harry Ginny part.Great Job on pointing out the tiara, we need that .

It looks great!!

YOu will post the kiss, I want to see how you would make it, having read from your description above , you changed it a bit.

iamwood June 26th, 2008 6:56 am

Re: Fan Scripts: Script your own version of Harry Potter
 
Phrozenone, I don't think I've ever commented your HBP scripts before, but let me just say that you are brilliant, my friend!

Kudos for adding the tiara into the mix there :tu:

And I notice your staying pretty close to Master's HBP update list, with what we do actually know about the screenplay of HBP. I also like that you add your own dynamics in there though.

So do you have that H/G kiss as their first kiss, or was there one previously?

Also, I am baffled at how you have the time so narrowly figured. How do you do it, mate? 158 mins??

Riochet June 26th, 2008 12:41 pm

Re: Fan Scripts: Script your own version of Harry Potter
 
I've been reading some of the scripts and I have to say - some really brilliant work going on here! I'll comment on each one individually in my next post. You guys inspired me to write a screenplay for Deathly Hallows. So far, I only have Scene/Chapter One: The Dark Lord Ascending. It's in Spoiler tags because I can't remember how to put it in the purple box (I can't even remember what it's called :drool:).

Could you guys let me know what you think? Thanks.

Spoiler: show
HARRY POTTER AND THE DEATHLY HALLOWS:
THE SILVER DOE



By Harrison Sargeant



Based on the book by
J.K. Rowling





The audience hears the ticking of a grandfather clock, faintly in the background. It continues ticking as:


FADE IN:

INT. MALFOY MANOR MEETING ROOM (BIRDS-EYE VIEW) - LATE NIGHT

From the pupil of Charity Burbage's eye, the camera pans out and we see a birds-eye view of Malfoy Manor. Burbage's rotating body blocks most of our view of those seated at the table, but we can make out DRACO MALFOY glaring up at the body nervously.

INT. MALFOY MANOR MEETING ROOM AROUND THE TABLE - LATE NIGHT

Cut to DRACO MALFOY'S nervous staring. LUCIUS MALFOY subtly nudges DRACO with his cane. DRACO slowly looks down as the ticking of the grandfather clock (behind) seems to get louder, louder, until it is eventually cut short by...

INT. MALFOY MANOR MEETING ROOM (DOOR) - LATE NIGHT

SEVERUS SNAPE enters the MEETING ROOM, expressionless and staring straight ahead.

INT. MALFOY MANOR MEETING ROOM - LATE NIGHT


LORD VOLDEMORT
News?


SEVERUS SNAPE
The best.


INT. MALFOY MANOR MEETING ROOM (HEAD OF THE TABLE) - LATE NIGHT

VOLDEMORT smiles slightly, before indicating to the seat on his right. SNAPE takes the seat quickly. VOLDEMORT nods for him to continue.


SEVERUS SNAPE
The Order Of The Phoenix plan to move Harry Potter from Little Whinging at nightfall on this coming Saturday.

VOLDEMORT hesitates for a second, staring into SNAPE's eyes. Slowly, an evil grin spreads across his face.

LORD VOLDEMORT
Good. Very Good. Where will they take him?


SEVERUS SNAPE
The home of one of the Order. However, it has been given every protection both the Order and the Ministry Of Magic can provide. Unless the Ministry has fallen by next Saturday, there will be little chance of reaching Potter once he is there.


INT. MALFOY MANOR MEETING ROOM (A FEW SEATS DOWN) - LATE NIGHT


HOODED DEATH EATER (nervously)
On that front my lord, we have progress. With great difficulty, I have manged to put Pius Thicknesse under the Confundus Charm. Using him, others will follow. It will not be long until the Minister is surrounded.


LORD VOLDEMORT
Let us hope so. One failed attempt on the Ministers life will set back my plans by a long way. I shall attend to the boy myself, there have been too many careless mistakes in the pa-


VOLDEMORT is interrupted by a drawn out moan.


LORD VOLDEMORT
Wormtail! I thought I asked you to keep our prisoner under control!


INT. MALFOY MANOR MEETING ROOM (OPPOSITTE END OF THE TABLE)

We see Wormtail stutter, then nod weakly. He stands, and leaves the table hurriedly.

INT. MALFOY MANOR MEETING ROOM (HEAD OF TABLE) - LATE NIGHT


LORD VOLDEMORT
As I was saying. I shall attend to the boy myself, there have been too many mistakes in the past.


VOLDEMORT glances at LUCIOUS MALFOY, mocking him.


INT. MALFOY MANOR MEETING ROOM AROUND THE TABLE - LATE NIGHT

LUCIOUS avoids VOLDEMORTS eyes, staring straight down. As the following is said, the camera slowly pans up and around Charity Burbages body, until we again see a birds-eye view from just above her.


LORD VOLDEMORT
What troubles you Lucius? I have given you your liberty, and yet you and your family seem less and less happy at my presence here in your home. Does my presence discomfort you, Lucius?


LUCIUS MALFOY
My Lord, nothing - nothing could give me more pleasure.


LORD VOLDEMORT
Such Lies, Lucius!


The dialogue is cut short by a short scream from Charity Burbage, as her eyes widen slightly.


INT. MALFOY MANOR MEETING ROOM (HEAD OF TABLE) - LATE NIGHT


LORD VOLDEMORT
Ah yes, I almost forgot about our guest. Everyone, this is Charity Burbage. Until very recently, Charity poisoned the minds of Hogwarts students with Muggle studies. This will no longer happen, let me promise you all.


INT. MALFOY MANOR MEETING ROOM (BIRDS-EYE VIEW) - LATE NIGHT

Tears fill CHARITY's eyes, and suddenly widen in shock.


LORD VOLDEMORT (O/S) coldly
Avada Kedavra.


A green flash of light borders CHARITY's body. Nothing appears to have happened for a second, until her body quickly falls to the table, crashing loudly.


LORD VOLDEMORT (O/S)
Dinner, Nagini.



As the snake (Nagini) slithers from Voldemort's shoulders on to the table, the camera pans up into darkness. A very dark version of 'Hedwigs Theme' plays.


EXT. DARK, CLOUDY NIGHT.

As the camera passes through the smoke, we see the 'Warner Bros. logo', followed by the titles overlay. Eventually, a blinding flash of light fills the screen.
















iamwood June 26th, 2008 7:38 pm

Re: Fan Scripts: Script your own version of Harry Potter
 
Very cool Riochet! :tu:

It has a very quick entrance, but hey DH needs many, simple, quick, but vital scenes right? :p

I'm doing a DH screenplay too! :cool:

Riochet June 26th, 2008 7:56 pm

Re: Fan Scripts: Script your own version of Harry Potter
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by iamwood (Post 5069362)
Very cool Riochet! :tu:

It has a very quick entrance, but hey DH needs many, simple, quick, but vital scenes right? :p

I'm doing a DH screenplay too! :cool:

Thanks :rockon:
Yeah, I thought it important to focus on the pure excitement in this scene - since it's supposed to be very dark and show you the danger of things. I'm going to bring the pace down a bit with the next two chapters, thanks for letting me know what you think!

I'll be sure to read your DH screen play!

Bl00dyChAoS16 June 28th, 2008 1:46 pm

Re: Fan Scripts: Script your own version of Harry Potter
 
I wish in OotP, there was the frames with the restrictions saying "Quittage is not permitted" and had Umbrige announce it, while Harry and the team were going to the pitch, and had them look upset.

Spoiler: show
Harry: I hope the weather is well.
Ron: Yea, me too, I can't wait to learn how to fly a broom! Harry, we'll have so much fun!
ENTER INTO GREAT HALL GOURTYARD.
Umbrige (loud speaker): Quittage is banned from Hogwarts Grounds. Anyone caught flying a broom will get there broom taken anyay.
Ron: No not that-
UMBRIDGE COMES THROUGH GREAT HALL DOORS.
Umbridge: Ah, what have we hear?
Ron: We just heard the announcement.
Umbridge: *LAUGH* Well, then. Brooms. HOLDS OUT HAND
Harry: You said "Anyone CAUGHT FLYING"!
Umbridge: I know what I said, and rules can change Mr. Potter. You don't want more dentions now, do you?
Harry: No.
Ron: You-
Umbridge: Yes?
Ron-...better take my broom too.... *LOOKS GLUM*
UMBRIGES CASTS A SPELL AND BROOMS GO FLYING INTO HER OFFICE. UMBRIDGE WALKS AWAY.
Ron: I hate her!
Team Captain: I guess there is no quittage this year, Harry, Ron, Team. And this was my last year....
Harry: Yea. Well, see you around. Ron, common.

Then they cut to the scene where Hermione and Ron and Harry are planning to rebell in the Common Room.

Phrozenone June 29th, 2008 10:05 am

Re: Fan Scripts: Script your own version of Harry Potter
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by iamwood (Post 5068965)
Phrozenone, I don't think I've ever commented your HBP scripts before, but let me just say that you are brilliant, my friend!

Kudos for adding the tiara into the mix there :tu:

And I notice your staying pretty close to Master's HBP update list, with what we do actually know about the screenplay of HBP. I also like that you add your own dynamics in there though.

So do you have that H/G kiss as their first kiss, or was there one previously?

Also, I am baffled at how you have the time so narrowly figured. How do you do it, mate? 158 mins??

Awww thanks!

And u get the number of minuets by pages. In the movie world 1 page = 1 min...so I've been really trying to stay under 180 pages.

And no that's their first kiss...which is alot different from the book true and I would've kept it the same but I'm at the point of the story where it's time to wrap things up but you'll see what i mean. I'm glad to see others are reading them though!

The whole point of me doing this was to try and guess how they would do it in the actual film according to the little info we have so far. As you know (or have seen) there's this bit of Harry and Ginny in the RoR and we have soooo many theories on what it could be...so I just made it into something :lol:

The only thing I haven't done is the Burrow attack yet..maybe next time huh :p

So instead of making you all wait as long as I'd planned (I'm not gonna be as harsh as WB is being) I'll post the next section of the script. I COULD post the rest of it but that wouldn't be fun :P As always let me know what you think and thanks so much for reading!

Quote:

HARRY
Draco…no…HELP! SOMEONE PLEASE!

The door flies open and Snape runs in. He looks at Harry and then quickly at Draco’s bloody body on the floor. He runs and kneels down to Malfoy. He pulls out his wand and starts to mutter an incantation under his breathe. The blood flow begins to stop and we see the wounds knitting themselves. He helps Malfoy up, who is slouching in pain still.

SNAPE
You need the hospital wing.

Malfoy puts his arm around Snapes neck and they begin to walk out of the bathroom.

SNAPE
And you Potter…you wait here for me.

They walk out of the door and the scene cuts to Harry staring at the mirror in the bathroom with a look of shock still in his eyes. Snape walks into the bathroom and Harry turns to face him. Snape stares at him for a moment in silence.

HARRY
I…I didn’t mean it to happen, I didn’t know what that spell did.

SNAPE
Apparently I underestimated you, Potter. Who would have thought you knew such Dark Magic? Who taught you that spell?

HARRY
I…read it somewhere.

SNAPE
Where?

HARRY
It was a library book, I can’t remember what it was called.

Snape looks into Harry’s eyes and Harry quickly looks away.

SNAPE
Bring me your schoolbag and all of your schoolbooks. All of them. Bring them to me now!

Harry stares at Snape for a moment and then walks past him and exits the bathroom. Snape continues to watch him as he leaves.

INT. COMMON ROOM-NIGHT-MOMENTS LATER

The scene cuts to Ron, Ginny, and Hermione still sitting around the fireplace. They look up as Harry still covered in Draco’s blood walks slowly in. Hermione gasps as Ron and Ginny jump up.

RON
Blimey Harry what happened?

HERMIONE
Harry is that blood?

HARRY
I…I need your book Ron…..

RON
Wha?

HARRY
I need your Potions book. Quick….give it to me….

RON
But what about the Half-Blood….

HARRY
I’ll explain later Ron..just…please!

Ron nods and runs up to the dorms as Harry sits down and places his head in his hands.

HERMIONE
Harry what happened? Are you hurt?

HARRY
No…Malfoy….the Prince….I need to hide my Potions book.

HERMIONE
But why….?


Ron comes back down and hands Harry his book. Harry takes it and stuffs it in his schoolbag and takes out his potions book. He stares at it for a moment as Ron, Hermione, and Ginny look on in silence. He turns around and looks at them.

HARRY
Any ideas on where I can hide this thing?

The three of them look at each other.

GINNY
I think I may know a place.

INT. SEVENTH FLOOR-MOMENTS LATER

The scene cuts to Harry and Ginny walking down the seventh floor hallway in silence. They stopped in front of where the Room of Requirement is.

HARRY
The Room of Requirement?

GINNY
We need a place to hide Harry’s book….

A door slowly starts to form before their eyes and once it does it opens before them. Harry and Ginny look at each other and Harry walks into the room and Ginny follows.

INT. ROOM OF REQUIREMENT-MOMENTS LATER

They pause at the sight in front of them. The room is full of things obviously hidden by past Hogwarts students. There are rows of books, damaged furniture, and various magical objects. Harry grabs Ginny’s hand and they begin to run through the room looking for a place to hide the book. Harry pauses at a large cupboard and opens it. Meanwhile Ginny continues to walk ahead of Harry and looks around the corner where she see’s a VANISHING CABINET sitting there.

HARRY
I think I’ll hide it here. Ginny do you see anything I can put on this cupboard so I can find it when I get back?

Ginny looks around and notices a TIARA sitting on top of one of the books and grabs it and walks towards Harry. Harry closes the cupboard and Ginny hands him the tiara. He quickly takes it and places it on top of the head of a bust of an old wizard.

HARRY
That way I will be able to find it.

Harry looks down at Ginny and smiles.

HARRY
Thanks so much for your help Ginny…I don’t know how much trouble I’m in but….

Ginny places a finger over Harry’s mouth. They both look into each other eyes quietly and then they slowly move into each other and begin to kiss. Ginny then backs away slowly.

GINNY
You should hurry. I’ll see you when you get back.

They stare at each other for another moment and Ginny turns and walks slowly away from Harry. He watches for a moment and the scene fades to…

INT. BOYS BATHROOM-NIGHT-MOMENTS LATER

Harry standing in front of Snape who is looking through is backpack. Snape pulls out the Potions book.

SNAPE
This is your copy of Advanced Potion-Making, is it, Potter?

HARRY
Yes.

Snape stares at Harry for another moment and Harry tries to avoid making eye contact.

SNAPE
You know what I think, Potter? I think you are a liar and a cheat and that you will pay for what you’ve done.

He hands Harry back the book and exits as we have a shot of Harry standing in the bathroom holding the book as the scene slowly fades.

The camera fades back in on a shot of Hedwig flying towards the school and we see a shot of Hogwarts.

INT. HALLWAY/COMMON ROOM-EVENING (Music Section)

We see Harry walking alone down a hallway still looking upset about what he had done. He walks into the Common Room where a few other students and Ginny are hanging out. She jumps up as Harry walks in and runs up and hugs him. They then smiles at each other and begin to kiss. Ron and Hermione walk in while this is happening and pause at the sight. Harry looks at Ron who gives a little shrug as Hermione smiles at the sight. She motions for Ron to follow her and they walk off. Harry looks back into Ginny’s eyes and begins to kiss her again.

MONTAGE/2 WEEKS

Next we see a montage of them walking around the grounds holding hands, sitting together making jokes with Ron and Seamus, eating together in the Great Hall, kissing on the bridge, and holding each other under the stars in front of the lake.

INT-GRYFFINDOR COMMON ROOM/NIGHT

The scene then cuts to them walking together into the common room. She kisses him and runs past Ron who’s sitting on the couch. She smacks him on the head and runs upstairs.

RON
About time you two made it back.

Neville walks up to them holding a piece of parchment.

NEVILLE
This is for you Harry?

Hands the parchment to Harry

HARRY
Thanks Neville…it’s from Dumbledore! He wants me to go to his office as quick as I can!

RON
You don’t think he’s found a…

HARRY
Better go and see…but first things first…

INT. BOYS DORM-MOMENTS LATER

Harry opens his trunk and pulls out his Invisibility Cloak. He notices the Felix Felixes at the bottom of the trunk and picks it up and stares at it. He puts it in a sock and closes the trunk.

INT. COMMON ROOM-MOMENTS LATER

HARRY
Here (Throws socks at Ron)
It’s the Felix Felicis. If Dumbledore has found a you know what then you’ll be needing it. Just in case Draco tries anything. Share it between yourselves…

INT-DUMBLEDORE’S OFFICE-NIGHT (MOMENTS LATER)

The scene cuts to Harry walking into Dumbledore’s Office.

DUMBLEDORE
Well, Harry, it seems the time has come.

HARRY
You’ve found a Horcrux sir?

DUMBLEDORE
I believe so. It would be very wrong of me not to warn you that this journey will be exceedingly dangerous. Before we go however I need you to promise me something.

Dumbledore walks up to Harry and places his hand on his shoulders.

DUMBLEDORE
Promise me that you will obey any command I might give you without question. If I say run, hide, go back you will do so

HARRY
Yes, of course.

DUMBLEDORE
If I tell you to leave me and save yourself, you will do as I tell you?

Harry stares in silence at Dumbledore for a moment before answering.

HARRY
Yes, sir.

DUMBLEDORE
Good…now do you have your invisibility cloak with you?

HARRY
Yes sir. Um can I ask sir…which Horcrux is it? Where is it?

DUMBLEDORE
I’m not sure which it is, but….

Dumbledore walks up to his desk and pulls out the drawing of the cave that young Tom Riddle drew and holds it up to Harry.

DUMBLEDORE
This is where we’re going.

The camera zooms in on the picture and then the picture slowly begins to turn into the real cave. Water is crashing beneath it and then SWOOSH Dumbledore appears. Harry takes off his invisibility cloak and they both walk into the entrance.

INT. CAVE ANTECHAMBER-NIGHT (MOMENTS LATER)

DUMBLEDORE
Yes yes, this is the place. This is merely the antechamber, the entrance hall. We need to penetrate the inner place.

Dumbledore touches the wall in front of him mumbling under his breath.

DUMBLEDORE
Here, we go on through here. The entrance is concealed.

He takes his wand and points it at the wall and an arched outline appears with blazing light coming from behind it.

HARRY
You’ve done it!

Dumbledore says nothing but stares at the wall for a moment.

DUMBLEDORE
So crude.

Dumbledore reaches into his rob and pulls out a silver knife.

DUMBLEDORE
I think that we are required to make payment to pass… blood if I’m not mistaken.

HARRY
Blood?

DUMBLEDORE
I said it was crude. The idea is that your enemy must weaken him or herself to enter. Once again, Tom fails to grasp that there are much more terrible things than physical injury.

HARRY
Is there someway we can avoid….

DUMBLEDORE
Sometimes, things are unavoidable.

He pulls up the sleeve exposing his forearm and raises the knife.

HARRY
Professor! I’ll do it, I’m….

Dumbledore swipes the knife down and we see blood splatter on the wall. The silver arch appears on the wall again but doesn’t fade and an opening appears where inside it is completely dark.

DUMBLEDORE
You are very kind Harry, but your blood is worth more than mine. After me, Harry

INT. THE CAVE-NIGHT (MOMENTS LATER)

Dumbledore holds up his wand as they walk into the hole. The camera pans to a wide shot of the great black lake that is in front of them. In the distance there is a faint green glow.

DUMBLEDORE
Let us walk. Be very careful not to step in the water and stay close to me.

They begin to walk across the ledge; their two wands are the only light we’re able to see. Dumbledore hand is scanning the walls as they walk.

HARRY
Do you think we’re going to have to go into the lake sir?

DUMBLEDORE
Only if we are very unfortunate. You see Harry, I think the Horcrux is in the middle.

He points towards the misty green light in the center of the lake.

HARRY
So we’re going to have to cross the lake to get to it?

DUMBLEDORE
Yes and I think I have found the thing that will get us across.

Dumbledore reaches around in mid air and as he does so moves closer to the water. He grabs his wand and taps on his fist that’s in midair and a thick green coppery chain appears out of thin air and is extended into the water from Dumbledore’s fist. He taps the chain and it begins to slide through his fist and making a soft rumble. A tiny boat soon appears above the surface moving towards them as the chain pulls it. Harry stares in shock at Dumbledore.

HARRY
Do you think the boat is safe sir?

DUMBLEDORE
I think so, Voldemort needed to create a means to cross the lake without attracting the wrath of those creatures he had placed within it in case he ever wanted to visit or remove his Horcrux.

The boat stops right in front of them.

HARRY
It doesn’t look like it was built for two people. Will it hold both of us?

DUMBLEDORE
Voldemort will not have cared about the weight, but about the amount of magical power that crossed his lake. I do not think you will count, Harry. Do you think Voldemort would expect a sixteen year old to reach this place? Now you first this time and be careful not to touch the water.

Harry stops into the boat followed by Dumbledore and the boat begins to move forward. Harry looks down into the water with his wand and a human hand appears.

HARRY
Professor! There are bodies in here!

DUMBLEDORE
Inferi Harry, but we don’t need to worry about them at the moment. There is nothing to be feared from a body any more than there is anything to be feared from the darkness. It is the unknown we fear when we look upon death and darkness, nothing more.

The boat gets closer to the island in the middle of the lake. There are more and more bodies in the water the closer they get and there’s a soft thud as the boat hits them. The boat comes to a halt at the island of smooth rock and both Dumbledore and Harry get out of the boat onto the island. In the middle of it stands a pedestal where the light is coming from. They both approach the basin and look into it. Inside we see a emerald liquid emitting that phosphorescent glow. Dumbledore pulls back his sleeve and stretches his fingers towards the material but meets an invisible barrier.

DUMBLEDORE
Interesting, I cannot touch it. There’s an invisible barrier.

He raises his wand and starts to do wand movements in over the basin. Nothing seems to happen as he continues to try.

HARRY
You think the Horcrux is in there, sir?

DUMBLEDORE
Yes…but how to reach it.

He waves his wand again and a crystal goblet appears in midair and he grabs it.

DUMBLEDORE
I can only conclude that this potion is supposed to be drunk. Only by drinking it can I empty the basin and see what lies in it’s depths.

HARRY
What? No! What if it kills you?

DUMBLEDORE
Voldemort would want to keep the person who reaches this island alive long enough to find out how they managed to get this far. Still, this potion must act in a way that will prevent me taking the Horcrux. Harry, it will be your job to make sure I keep drinking, even if you have to tip the potion into my mouth. You understand?

HARRY
But sir…

DUMBLEDORE
You swore to follow any command I give you did you not?

HARRY
But why can’t I drink it instead.

DUMBLEDORE
Because I’m much older, cleverer, and much less valuable. Now do I have your word?

HARRY
Couldn’t I just….

DUMBLEDORE
Your word, Harry!

Harry nods and without another word Dumbledore dips the Goblet into the substance and fills it to the brim and lifts it to his mouth. He drinks it all down as Harry watches in horror.
Dumbledore keeps his eyes closed as he dips the glass into the basin again and proceeds to drink again. Dumbledore frowns and his fingers start to lose grip of the cup. Harry grabs it and holds it steady.

HARRY
Professor?

DUMBLEDORE
I don’t want…don’t make me…don’t like…want to stop…

HARRY
You can’t stop Professor, you’ve got to keep drinking remember?

Harry frowns as he forces the rest of the drink down Dumbledore’s throat. Harry then dips the cup back into the basin and fills it up.

DUMBLEDORE
No, no, no, no, I can’t, don’t make me…make it stop…make it stop…

HARRY
This’ll make it stop

He dips the contents into Dumbledore’s mouth again and when Dumbledore swallows he lets out a scream.

DUMBLEDORE
It’s all my fault, I know I did wrong, I’ll never do it again, please make it stop. Don’t hurt them, please...hurt me instead.

HARRY
Here sir, drink this, you’ll be alright

Dumbledore obeys and drinks again as he starts to shake uncontrollably. He falls onto the ground screaming as Harry refills the cup.

DUMBLEDORE
I want to die! Make it stop…I want to die!

HARRY
Drink this Professor…

DUMBLEDORE
KILL ME! KILL ME!!

HARRY
This one will sir!

He forces the drink down Dumbledore’s throat and with a gasp he rolls over on his face in silence.

HARRY
NO!

Harry drops the cup and Harry grabs Dumbledore’s body as it lies there.

HARRY
You’re not dead, wake up...WAKE UP!
(He points his wand at Dumbledore’s chest.)
Rennervate! Sir…please…

Dumbledore’s eyelids flicker.

DUMBLEDORE
Water.

HARRY
Water...yes…(he grabs the goblet and points his wand at it.) Aquamenti!
(The goblet fills with water as Harry takes it over to Dumbledore and brought the glass to his lips, but it is empty.)
Wait...it was just in here…Aquamenti!

It fills again and as it approaches Dumbledore’s mouth disappears. Dumbledore breathing begins to fade and Harry looks around in panic. We see him run towards the lake and plunge the goblet into it and run over to Dumbledore. Harry tips the water into Dumbledore’s mouth until it is empty. He then runs to the lake again and dips the goblet. As he turns to leave he trips. The camera pans to shows a hand around one of Harry’s legs. Harry screams as it begins to pull him towards the water. The surface of the water isn’t calm anymore and the heads of men, woman, and children begin to emerge from the water. The army of Inferi start to climb onto the island from all sides moving slowly groaning loudly as if in pain.

HARRY
Petrificus Totalus!

He blasts the arm of the Inferi that was holding him and it lets go and falls into the water. Harry jumps up as the Inferi start to increase in numbers. As the Inferi crawl slowly towards him a look of horror feels Harry’s face.

HARRY
PETRIFICUS TOTALUS! IMPEDIMENTA! INCARCEROUS!

Only a few Inferi are taken out by these spells as more and more start to rise out of the water.

HARRY
SECTUMSEMPRA! SECTUMSEMPA!!!

Gashes appear in their bodies but there is no blood. They continue to walk slowly towards Harry. One crawls towards Dumbledore and Harry runs and kicks it off of him. One grabs his legs and he falls losing his wand. He screams as they begin to overtake him. One after another they pile on top of Harry as he screams out in pain! We see them covering him up and then BOOM there’s a blast of light. The Inferi are thrown from Harry and the camera pans to Dumbledore standing with his wand with a look of fury in his eyes.

DUMBLEDORE
Come to me Harry!

Harry grabs his wand and runs to Dumbledore. Dumbledore casts another bright powerful spell at a few inferi as dozens more begin to slowly pile onto the island. The Inferi are tossed back as Dumbledore grabs Harry’s arm and pulls him close to him. Dumbledore raises his wand and there is a loud rumble and a ring of fire emerges from Dumbledore’s wand and surrounds him and Harry. Some Inferi are caught by the fire ring and moans in agony as its body is burned slowly. We see the Inferi bumping into each other blindly and some cowering away from the flame. Dumbledore reaches into the basin and pulls out locket from within. The flame starts to move faster around them and the camera pans out to show we can’t see Harry or Dumbledore because the fire has formed a sort of cocoon around them. There’s a second of silence and BOOM the cocoon explodes outward knocking out a lot of the Inferi. They all crawl into the water and Dumbledore collapses.

HARRY
Sir...I forgot about fire…they were coming and I panicked…

DUMBLEDORE
That’s understandable…I am weak….

Harry helps Dumbledore into the boat and it starts to move towards the shore on its own.

DUMBLEDORE
I must say…the protection was well designed. One alone could not have done it…you did very well Harry.

The boat comes to a THUD and Harry jumps out the boat and helps Dumbledore out.

HARRY
Lumos!

Harry’s wand lights up and they walk along the shore. Dumbledore hand slowly follows the wall of the cave and he stops.

DUMBLEDORE
It is here. Looks like the gateway sealed itself again, my knife….

HARRY
There’s no need, I got cut on the rock. Just tell me where…

DUMBLEDORE
Here…

Harry wipes his forearm against the stone and the barrier is opened and they pass through it.

INT. CAVE ANTECHAMBER-NIGHT

HARRY
It’s going to be all right sir…I can Appartate us both back….don’t worry…

DUMBLEDORE
Ah Harry, I’m not worried. I am with you.

MasterOfDeath June 29th, 2008 6:58 pm

Re: Fan Scripts: Script your own version of Harry Potter
 
I think Dumbledore has too much coherent dialog at the end of your script. It just cheapens his condition imo. His only sane line should be "I am not worried, Harry. I am with you."


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