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Old October 2nd, 2007, 6:08 am
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ArryGrotter  Male.gif ArryGrotter is offline
Too... Much... Fangirling...
 
Join Date: 17th October 2005
Location: Auckland, NZ
Age: 26
Posts: 3,281
Re: Fan Scripts: Harry Potter Remakes

Quote:
Originally Posted by crookshanks15 View Post
ArryGrotter, I do like the change you made in the begining (putting in the snippet of Trelawneys prediction) but when you got to the scene outside the Dursleys house you started to do the same thing you did before; almost exactly copying the book word for word, bit by bit.
My suggestion is to SHORTEN this scene. You really dont need to have about 10 min. worth of film for delivering Harry. I dont think you need to have McGonagall say that even the muggles are noticing, its in their news. We already had a bit of the news- the movie watchers can see that the muggles have it on their tv.
Also, the discussion of saying LV v. you-know-who isnt needed because we learn about all that stuff later with Hagrid.
Just some tips, they may not be to your liking so if thats the case, I wont be offended for your rejection and sorry I couldnt be of more help.
Overall, your changes are better. I am the same kind of fan that is ticked off with the movies for lack of canon and stuff but cuts do need to be made. The original script was almost exactly the same thing as the book.
Thanks for the feedback!

I took it into consideration and have done some cuts
Here's the first half of that scene (still lengthy)

The first half of the arrival scene I am cutting:    


  
PS: Night time arrival Part 1 (The Boy Who Lived)…the cat which is still sitting on the brick fence. It is STIFF and LOOKING IN ONE DIRECTION. The camera then shows that the ROAD is DESERTED. It slowly lays to rests on one of the STREET LAMPS.

POP. Pause. Then a DIFFERENT POP as the lamp EXTINGUISHES. The camera CUTS BACK to the cat, which is now MOVING ITS HEAD. The lamp nearest the brick wall extinguishes with another POP. The camera then CUTS to an elderly man standing in the once deserted street, he is putting away an OBJECT WHICH LOOKS LIKE A CIGARETTE LIGHTER (DELUMINATOR). The man, Albus Dumbledore, sits next to the cat on the fence and, after a moment’s pause, speaks to it.

ALBUS DUMBLEDORE
Fancy seeing you here, Professor McGonagall.

The camera turns to see that the cat is transforming into a woman in her late 50s, wearing a cloak.

MINERVA MCGONAGALL
How did you know it was me?

ALBUS DUMBLEDORE
My dear Professor, I’ve never seen a cat sit so stiffly.

MINERVA MCGONAGALL
You’d be stiff if you’d been sitting on a brick wall all day.

ALBUS DUMBLEDORE
All day? When you could have been celebrating?

MINERVA MCGONAGALL
(Angrily) Oh yes, everyone’s celebrating, all right. Even the Muggles have noticed something’s going on.

McGonagall points to the Dursley’s

ALBUS DUMBLEDORE
You can’t blame them. We’ve had had precious little to celebrate for eleven years.

MINERVA MCGONAGALL
I know that, but it’s no reason to lose our heads. People are being downright careless, out on the streets in broad daylight, not even dressed in Muggle clothes, swapping rumours.

McGonagall pauses and looks at Dumbledore as if she wants him to say something.

MINERVA MCGONAGALL
A fine thing it would be if, on the very day You-Know-Who seems to have disappeared at last, the Muggles found out about us all. I suppose he really has gone, Dumbledore?

ALBUS DUMBLEDORE
It seems so.

Pause.

MINERVA MCGONAGALL
You know what everyone is saying? About why he’s disappeared?

Dumbledore says nothing.

MINERVA MCGONAGALL
What they’re saying is that night You-Know-Who turned up in Godric’s Hollow. He went to find the Potters. The rumour is that Lily and James Potter are, are, that they’re dead.

Dumbledore bows his head, McGonagall gasps.

MINERVA MCGONAGALL
Lily and James, I can’t believe it, I didn’t want to believe it, Oh Albus.

Dumbledore pats McGonagall on the shoulder.

ALBUS DUMBLEDORE
I know, I know.

MINERVA MCGONAGALL
That’s not all. They’re saying he tried to kill the Potter’s son, Harry. But, he couldn’t. He couldn’t kill that little boy. No one knows why, or how, but they’re saying that when he couldn’t kill Harry Potter, You-Know-Who’s power somehow broke, and that’s why he’s gone.

Dumbledore nods.

MINERVA MCGONAGALL
It’s, it’s true? After all he’s done, all the people he’s killed, he couldn’t kill a little boy? But how in the name of heaven did Harry survive?

ALBUS DUMBLEDORE
We can only guess, we may never know.

Pause.

ALBUS DUMBLEDORE
Hagrid’s late. I suppose it was he who told you I’d be here, by the way?

MINERVA MCGONAGALL
Yes. And I don’t suppose you’re going to tell me why you’re here of all places?

ALBUS DUMBLEDORE
I’ve come to bring Harry to his aunt and uncle. They’re the only family he has left now.

McGonagall is suddenly shocked.

MINERVA MCGONAGALL
You don’t mean… You can’t mean the people who live here? I’ve been watching them all day. You couldn’t find any other people who are less like us. Harry Potter come and live here!

ALBUS DUMBLEDORE
It’s the best place for him. His aunt and uncle will be able to explain everything to him when he’s older. I’ve written them a letter.

MINERVA MCGONAGALL
A letter? Really Dumbledore, you think you can explain all this in a letter?

Dumbledore does not reply. Pause.

MINERVA MCGONAGALL
How is the boy getting here, Dumbledore?

ALBUS DUMBLEDORE
Hagrid’s bring him.

MINERVA MCGONAGALL
You think it … wise to trust Hagrid with something as important as this?

ALBUS DUMBLEDORE
I would trust Hagrid with my life.

MINERVA MCGONAGALL
I’m not saying his heart isn’t in the right place but you can’t pretend he’s not careless. He does tend to…

Suddenly, a RUMBLE is heard.

MINERVA MCGONAGALL
What was that?
  




Last edited by ArryGrotter; October 4th, 2007 at 11:20 pm. Reason: Expand, fieldset
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