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Old December 11th, 2010, 4:17 pm
Unrepentant  Undisclosed.gif Unrepentant is offline
Second Year
Join Date: 06th August 2007
Location: SWEDEN ^^
Age: 28
Posts: 175
Re: Xenophilius Lovegood: A Life


A week after school had started, Xeno had set a new record, recieving no less than five detentions during the very first day, for trying to dismantle a piece of raw flesh into a Gurdyroot supply that turned out to be professor Sprout's ear. After they news had spread, Teddy Rosier decided to host a congratulations party in the Ravenclaw common room. It was the kind of thing that Teddy would do. Xeno appreciated the thought, although he suspected that at the bottom of this lay a rather foul desire to laugh at other people's failures.

Xeno was, as usual, on a table for himself, talking to Ferus. Ferus was his imaginary friend he had come up with in first year when the absence of an equal was becoming too much a pressure. He had enjoyed hundreds upon hundreds of highly interesting chats with Ferus, although the original excitement was starting to wear off a bit now. They currently discussed the possibility of however Jelloprihl was double-crossing Amnia and Thorplin all across the Years of Exile, and whether someone would've noticed.

'Preposterous', said Xeno. 'What would he gain from that? Didn't he prove, after he had saved countless souls from the Temple of Ahrgm, that he had nothing more to do in the mortal world?'
Xeno had been in the center of attention as Teddy toasted his remarkable success, but were quick enough to divert - he hardly disliked attention, especially for something like having to clean out the trophy room five evenings in a row. He was however very happy at the moment - He had almost proven Ferus wrong, and was perfectly happy with the level of acceptance that his fellow students was showing to him, although a few first-years looked terrified at the candy-floss guy talking to himself in a corner.

A party like this would be a perfect attempt to ask Jessica out, but this was one of the rare nights where love had to buckle under for the enticing events of the Thorplin Myth.
'... And furthermore, in the Feignold Chapters, Amnia would disprove of her love to Thorplin, engaging in the Forlinzerk Corporation, render herself sterile and pop the very baloon that caused Jellophrils parents to commit matricide!', said Ferus disapprovingly.
Xeno fell silent. He had not thought of the Matricide incident in Book Eight. He was stumped, then he remembered..
'But Jellophril believed to his death that his parents were victims to a shaving Jinx gone wrong! So your argument remains stiff as a wrongly cooked Gurdyroot, my friend.'
Ferus yawned.


The next day, Xeno barely realized that he was already down with Elath and Joe at the Great Hall - tireness engulfed him in a tight bubble of, well, tireness. The fact that he had loads of homework to do did not help this at all.
'Xeno', said Elath, 'We were thinking of cover songs for the gig at the Three Broomsticks next week, Joe came up with the idea of doing a medley off Reich Due's Crosswand album...'

But Xeno was barely listening. He was looking up the Staff table. Dumbledore was wearing robes that sparkled like gold in the sun, and was talking excitedly to Professor Flitwick. Xeno was very fond of Dumbledore, and pitied that he did not teach anymore.

Although he liked Dumbledore, Xeno remembered in his first years when he had downright worshipped the headmaster. Xeno had sent him flowers, chocolate and letters discussing the Thirty-seven Faulties of Gernumbli, wheter Wrackspurts did breed, and if Nicholas Flamel really was a Time Lord that would return in the future to save the wizarding world from a giant tampon. Professor Flitwick had been thoroughly embarrased abut this, and forbade Xeno to ever write to the headmaster again, but it had been one of the best days in Xeno's life a week later, when a chuckling headmaster had pulled him aside and told him that his letters were greatly entertaining.

Next to Dumbledore sat Flitwick, Ravenclaw's Head of House. And next to him sat Professor Hootshield, the new Defence against the Dark Arts teacher. Xeno's year had had only one lesson with him so far; It had been a complete disaster, not only because Hootshield had such a large quantity of Loser's Lurgy that it made his hair half-pink, but also because someone had mixed up The Most Advanced Defences with Professor Kettleburn's stack of Monster Book of Monsters, so that half a dozen cunning Ravenclaw students had to bring them in while Hootshield stood in the middle of the classroom, looking insecurely at his watch.

'..Yeah, I'd probably skip that too'.
Xeno got jerked out of his reveries by noticing that Elath and Joe were talking about todays classes.
'Xeno, you did the Astronomy homework for today, right?' asked Elath.
'Yah', shrugged Xeno, 'With a week's worth of detention, my free time have had a little less holes as your average castle wall. But I managed to scribble something down on the five minutes between yesterday's Charms and Herbology'.
'You did it in five minutes?' said Elath disapprovingly.
'No big', said Xeno, 'It's all just Apollo and Little Bear and some dots. Thorplin could've done it with half a hand'.
In truth, he had spent the final three hours of the previous night completing a complicated star chart, but he knew that Elath would just bash him for help if he had said so.

The trio headed for today's first class - the nightmarish and ever-to-be-feared triple Arithmancy.
'Good evening students, and first things first, your homework, please', said professor Vektor sternly.
They all handed their homework to her.
'Lovegood, where's yours?'
'Oh', said Xeno. Then he said, without embarassment; 'I haven't done it, professor'.
'I see'. Professor Vektor's face was reddening. 'Well, you pay more time to homework from now on, or I will just pass you a "T" NEWT immediately. No go to seat, young man, and ten points from Ravenclaw for unbelievable sloppiness'.
'But professor, he's had..' said Joe.
'I know about Lovegood's... record.. Kenborough, but he could've picked up his sleeping hours, instead of studying hours'. she said. 'Now, please sit'.

Xeno sat down at the back of the classroom. Several people were staring at him, including Josephine Fenwyck, a seventh-year girl who had entered her seventh year of heartily dislike towards Xeno, just as Xeno had entered his seventh year of heartily ignorance towards her. Xeno did not worry - he knew he was safe on the homework front as long as he was careful. He had missed two assignments the last week.

After five assignments, one's reputation amongst the teachers would be in danger, (as if Xeno cared) after seven assignments, one's reputation would also wobble among the students, (Xeno still didn't care) and after ten assignments, one should seriously consider suicide at the mercy of the Heliopaths. (At this point, Xeno, after a bit of thinking, would care)

The class was as disastrously difficult as it had been last week. Xeno could've managed to pull it through if he had concentrated, but he did not concentrate; his mind was fixed on far more important things, such as why Jelloprihl and Knufusia dated in the First Book when they both knew their fathers worked against each other, possible growthplaces for the Idbit Iddles and how to capture Jessica's heart.

'Why, ever, did we take that ******* subject?!' said Elath furiously after class.
'Well, I'm going to the Ministry, and if you want to end up there, you better have some grades', said Joe.
'Your dad's at the Ministry...'
At this point, Xeno's thoughts drifted. One could wonder if the Idbit Iddles could grow in harsh earth? If so, he could sprout his own collection in the Forbidden Forest, and finally infuse his Gurdyroot supply for sale in Diagon Alley! The idea made him excited.. He would ask Professor Sprout later in the afternoon..
'... and thirteen goblins. What about you, Xeno?'
'M-hm', said Xeno absent-mindedly.
'Why'd you take Arithmancy?'
'Dunno' said Xeno.

But his mind made it back to reality with a harsh THUD on the floor of his brain. Why DID he take Arithmancy? The answer was as clear as it was painful - Xeno had no idea what to do after school. The Wizarding World, however beautiful, however home to many a great minds, was not a place for dream-dwellers and believers of Gernumbli, Heliopaths and the mighty Tat. 'Become a writer', his dad often said. 'You write so well!'. But Xeno's inside squirmed as he thought of The Quibbler and the editing equipments stuffed under his four-poster bed - he had not written The Quibbler for years.

Xeno's OWLs had been miserable. He was a Ravenclaw, and Ravenclaws abedied common sense, and common sense dictated that spending all study time lurking in the Staff Room to confirm or decline the rumour that a Hogwarts teacher posessed the Elder Wand and actual test time daydreaming about Thorplin's last great quest in the Mires of Oomingretsch did not produce good OWLs. He had hit an E in Charms, an A in Arithmancy, DADA, Astronomy and Herbology, a P in Care of Magical Creatures, and Potions a D in Divination and even two T's, in Transfiguration and History of Magic.

The trio lunched while talking about tonight's rehearsal. But just like many of their musical discussions, this one ended up in a fierce Xeno vs. Elath & Joe debate on Muggle music vs. Wizard music.
'There is a rational argument that beasts your words like rain on a muddy hilltop', messed Xeno seriously, 'there are at least a million muggle bands out there, and perhaps a few thousand wizard bands. Now, since there are that many muggle bands, competition eliminates the outcasts, leaving only the brilliant bands to achieve fame. More bands - more quality, as the consumer's law stands high. With only a few thousand wizard bands, people don't care all that much about getting good'.
'But,' started Joe.
'.. NOT saying wizard music is all bad', continued Xeno, but I can assure you muggles don't have to put up with sell-sell dragon dung like the', he let out a loud snort, 'Weird Sisters'.
'If you're talking Weird Sisters', said Joe, 'you should know that they aren't that...'
'SPIN AROUND LIKE A CRAZY ELF', sang Xeno, and he started a fierce tap dance on the Ravenclaw table that made several peope look their way.
Elath and Joe started to laugh.
'... LIKE A CRA-A-AZY EEEEELF' sang Xeno and started to swing his arms
More people started to laugh, until professor McGonnagall yelled 'LOVEGOOD! Ten points from Ravenclaw!' across the hall. Xeno sat down, accompanied by more laughter still. A few seats to the left, Josephine shot him a nasty look.

They ventured down to Herbology under continued discussion. ('Mother. MOTHER.') It was a clear and slightly chilly day. Halfway down, Elath and Joe swithed subjects to whether Mark Tryfill of Salazar and the Slipperings really had cancer, or if it was just a bluff to cover up the band's splitting with.
'No way', said Elath.

Then, Xeno saw a bunch of girls chatting, on their way up to the Entrance hall, and Jessica among them. Xeno's heart raced, and he achieved the Fantastic Flutterish Feets of Fingalum, but only a mild version - one could not get the FFFoF properly if one did see one's love interest's face close up. Jessica had been in the midst of the crowd, (Xeno recognized her, because he had mapped down her hair textures in his Transfiguration book for the purpose of trailing possible Wrackspurt nests) so Xeno had a quite feeble FFFoF, that reminisced the sensation of taking a slight Cheering charm to the chest. He was happy for that though, it was a matter of fact he did not see her very often. He remembered a day in March when she had said "Thank you" for him bringing her a book she had dropped. That FFFoF had lasted a week.

Professor Sprout greeted the handful of Ravenclaw and Hufflepuff students who was taking the NEWT Herbology class - Xeno, Elath, Joe, Fiona Baker, a 7th year Ravenclaw girl who was very shy, and two Hufflepuff boys.

Herbology could've been Xeno's favourite subject if they haven't been studying such boring plants as the venomous Tentacula, the Mandrakes and the Sophorus Beans. The class was not more fun when Professor Sprout constanly disapproved of Xeno's ideas of "interesting" plants.
'I'm sorry Lovegood, but your Gurdyroots is just as highly magical as my hat', se used to say, and she had stepped back when he told her that he uset to eat them.

She did approve of the Idbit Iddles though, so there was a mounting excitement in his voice when he asked her if they would grow in harsh earth.
'Yes they do', she said, 'but it's highly unhealthy, and I suggest that if you have any, you should hand them in immediately'.
And he had even harder keeping concentration up with the idea of growing own Idbit Iddles in the Forbidden Forest during the class. They were working with some kind of wet plants that made the greenhouse glasses blurry. Xeno wasted no time in drawing the Deathly Hallows symbol on the glass.

Two hours later, it was only three-o-clock. Rehearsal started ad eight-o-clock, but Xeno kept telling himself that that time would be used for studying.

Up in the Ravenclaw common room, Xeno sat with his homework and his guitar in his usual corner. No one bothered him, and Josephine did not lower her voice when she said that she absolutely hated candy-floss.

After two hours of studying and convincing himself not to postpone it, he had at last finished Professor Vector's essay.

But another two hours later, he felt his concentration faltering dangerously. His Gurdyroot supply was long since gone, and the common room was getting more packed and noisy.
He stared at Rowena Ravenclaw's statue for a while. The Diadem, if he only had the Diadem..
He bent lower down on his Charms essay. His hand was aching now, and his already messy handwriting became even messier.
"... for the after-effects of the charm is a direct link to the magical skill of the caster, a sort of Pi to Pi equation of the caster, the spell and the wand..."

He felt his mind wander as he wrote - it lingered long enough on his sighting of Jessica earlier that day until it hopped to Idbit Iddles, and forbidden excitement flooded him, excitement that he must held back. But he kept thinking of "Xeno, King of Idbits", and the wonders he could produce with the bottle-shaped fruit. He thought again of Thorplin, admiring his bravery, and the rehearsal later that day.. god, he longed for some Aston, he would listen to some songs before the rehearsal.. He thought again of Jessica.. how very beautiful she was.
".. A Caterwauling Charm is complex, and require precise movements.."
"I will not postpone it", Xeno thought.
"..of the wand.."
"I will not postpone it", Xeno thought.
"...and full concentration.."
"I will not postpone it", Xeno thought.
"...of the caster..."
"I will not postpone it", Xeno thought.
"...once again..."
"I will not postpone it", Xeno thought.
He postponed it.

Half past seven, Xeno had ventured down for a quick, lonely meal, and he now sat in his usual spot, not with textbooks, parchment and quills, but with his guitar. He was quietly playing a Genesis tune.

He remembered in his third year, when he got his first friends by playing guitar in the common room. No one expected the quirky, odd Lovegood to be an excellent guitar player. (But Xeno thought that he played rather horribly back then) Xeno had enjoyed the attention - it was the first time he had ever been an object of any kind of liking. He even got a little fan-club of first years. That's when he met Elath and Joe and when they founded Rendering Rowena.

He got even more attention when he started with The Quibbler in his 4th year, originally as a Hogwarts school fanzine, decipting the various events and gossip of the school. But as Xeno's interest in things like the the Rotfang Conspiracy ,the Gernubli and Quaffle Populism took over, and suddenly his popularity sank, until only Elath, Joe and a couple of fifth-years remained the people that would ever speak to him.

Xeno felt like that the only change he has been through in seven years was that he had rid himself completely of the need for - and despair in lacking - popularity and attention.

'Hi, Xeno!' said a girl to him suddenly.
It was one of the fifth-years that would speak to him - Hollie Sunshire was blue-haired, tough and rather short, and accidentally the singer of Rendering Rowena.
'Hollie', said Xeno, 'the man playing his guitar is only succeeded my the man on a funeral, the man alone with his wife and the man about to transform a stump into a thirty-foot Wax-Catalyst on the Men You Shouldn't Speak to-list!'
He realized how harsh he had sound, and he quickly said 'Sorry. I tend to sound harsh sometimes'.
'It's okay', she said. Hollie replied 'It's okay' to every other thing Xeno said. 'Gig soon, eh?'
'Yes', said Xeno. 'It will be a riot. I will bring free Gurdyroot drinks to everyone'.
Hollie smiled briefly.

At eight-o-clock, they were in the rehearsal room, a spare classrom on the fifth floor that Flitwick had permitted them to use. They warmed up with "Who took the Snitch?", their worst song by far, but also the one that their "fans" enjoyed the most. When the song ended, they played "Diadem" and "The Forlorn Wizard".

'It sounds good', said Xeno. It DID sound good - it was as if the band was having a good day. Hollie's voice was strong, crisp and clear. Together with Elath's precise drumming and Joes thundering bass, they sounded slightly apart from other wizarding bands. Although the rest of them often disapproved of Xeno's taste in muggle bands, they at least agreed that the setup drums-bass-guitar-vocals was to prefer, and that the use of cellos and violins within other bands was just trendy and pretentious.

They started to play their new song, "Magpie Man", which was a bit unsteady at some parts. The lyrics was about a man who suffered from magpies, but Xeno's secret lyrical intention was a song about the Gurpel Gnomstrongs that resided in the stomach of those who were skilled at schimpansee imitations. He never told his bandmates though - they would highly disapprove of the song then.

After rehearsal, everyone was quite cheerful. Hollie was still singing "Magpie Man", and even Xeno abandoned straying into the world of Resputiccroo to chat with Joe about the latest Wizards & Dragon record.
'The third track is the best, it's absolutely killer, like a swift sun and a fierce Squib', said Xeno.

At the time they got back to Ravenclaw tower, Hollie ventured up to the girl's dormitory, while Xeno, Elath and Joe got to the boy's.

The Ravenclaw 7th-years was among the larger of classes at Hogwarts. They were nine boys in total; Xeno, Elath, Joe, Fabian, Bret, Stephen, David, Morgan and Andy. They rarely met, since they all took different NEWT classes, but Xeno had nothing against any of them, except Morgan and Andy, who were very rowdy and full of Ravenclawic arrogance.

Xeno, Elath and Joe were alone in the dormitory. They went to bed in silence.
Xeno's stomach lurched as he spotted the Quibbler equipment under his bed. He missed puttng out the papers, but he never really could muster any enthusiasm to write. He felt like he should do it; Putting out papers and writing songs was the only way he could channel his creativity, and the inspiration he got from the Thorplin myth, the story of Hamma Hammhamm and his Wasted Apoelapthops and the bands he loved so much. And now, with only the band, he sometimes felt like he should be creative in another way. Then again there was the lacking enthusiasm.. and his father's words echoed in him "Become a writer.. become a writer..."
And shame and guilt for his lousy OWLs, his future, and his homework mountain engulfed him..

Xeno laid in bed for some time. He had a big Hallows poster on the side. He looked at it for a while. What a beautiful sign.. He knew what was waiting for him out there.. the Wand, but he was not so eager to defeat some grand sorcerer - Xeno was a poor dueller... the Stone, the hardest Hallow to track... the Cloak, he had to trace the Peverell line then..

His mind raced back to it's main focus - the Idbits. Tomorrow consisted only of DADA and Astronomy, he would perhaps find some time to plant it... But then there was his postponed Charms essay that was due Friday.. Xeno's insides squirmed with guilt as he fell back into sleep.


Blondes have more fun! The Jackson KS300 Lovegood special: Only $499!
(Also known as the Lunatar ^^)

Do not read my fanfic "Bannister Sparke and the Peverell Penultiman Conspiracy"
Xenophilius Lovegood: A Life instead
PS: Tom Marvolo Riddle anagrams into "I am Lord Voldemort", but also "Odd immortal lover"
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