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Old August 1st, 2006, 1:07 am
House_Elf_21  Undisclosed.gif House_Elf_21 is offline
First Year
Join Date: 31st May 2006
Location: Online
Posts: 61
Snape: Karaoke Superstar?

Note: This isn't exactly 500 words, but it's getting close. Also, there's a song in here. If any aurors or anyone has a problem with that, please owl me and let me know. Thanks.


“This won’t hurt a bit,” said Madam Pomfrey.

“It will all be over before you know it,” Flitwick chimed in.

“The Headmaster’s orders; your blood pressure is up way too high,” McGonagall sighed.

“And this is going to help?” Snape snapped, looking doubtfully at The Three Broomsticks. Above the door there stretched a banner that read: “Karaoke Nite!” He grimaced. “This ought to be a laugh.”

“Well, you could use one,” said Madam Pomfrey sternly; “laughter is the best remedy for hyper tension.”

Flitwick and McGonagall looked at each other, finding it very unlikely that Snape had ever once in existence let himself laugh. It was doubtful if the man was even capable of such a feat.

“Well, shall we?”

“I’m leaving,” said Snape, turning on the spot to disapparate.

“Stupify!” yelled McGongall.

Snape keeled over backwards, unable to move. “Let’s get him inside before the charm wears off,” said Madam Pomfrey, grabbing Snape under the right arm. She and Minerva then proceeded to drag Snape, quite unceremoniously, into the pub.

“Ooh, it’s Snape’s favorite!” Flitwick squeaked. “Achy, Breaky Black Heart.”

The three laughed as they propped Snape up in a chair. If he could move them, Snape’s eyes would be rolling.

The song ended abruptly when the wizard singing lost his voice. “Thank you, Billius Raymond Syren,” said Hagrid, the MC for the evening. “An’ now, ladies and gents, I’m pleased ter welcome, Harry Potter.”

“Thanks, Hagrid. This is a little song that I wrote,” said Harry, holding out a piece of paper. “It’s about my cousin, Dudley.”

“This should be good!” Flitwick chirped, magicking a bag of popcorn out of thin air.

“If Dudley were a wizard,
All day long he’d sit upon his bum,
If he were a magic-man.
He (still) wouldn’t have to work hard
’Cause if he needed anything done,
He’d Imperio someone else to do it for him.

The Sorting Hat would think of putting him in Slytherin,
But would realize he hadn’t any brains,
So Ravenclaw would be out of the question, then.
He has the courage of a wee, tiny, little mouse,
Oh, and he’s afraid of them.
Even Helga wouldn’t have taken him in!”

Everyone who had heard of Dudley Dursley roared. Flitwick laughed so hard that he spilled his popcorn all over Snape’s lap.

“Avada—” thought Snape….

“Very clever,” said McGonagall, her face turning red because she was laughing so hard. “Have you ever seen Wizard on the Roof, Severus?”

Severus was trying so hard to break the spell that he looked constipated.

To be continued....

Last edited by House_Elf_21; August 1st, 2006 at 8:25 pm.
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