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Old August 4th, 2006, 7:48 pm
House_Elf_21  Undisclosed.gif House_Elf_21 is offline
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Join Date: 31st May 2006
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Posts: 61
Re: Snape: Karaoke Superstar?

"We want Minerva!" Hagrid belched. "Sing some rock 'n roll."

"Yeah!" the crowd cheered.

"I couldn't possibly--" she mumbled, her face turning scarlet.

"If you're afraid--" Snape began.

"I'm not afraid...I'm practical. This is really just a frivilous practice--"

"Well, if you're not going to sing, maybe I will," Snape threatened. That was all the encouragement McGonagall needed.

"I'll do it--on one condition."

"Name it," Professor Flitwick squawked, clearly under the influence of Hagrid's fire whiskey.

"Someone had better hand me some lyrics; I'm afraid I don't know any of these new newfangled 'rock 'n troll' tunes."

"Big surprise there," muttered Ron, who was still recovering from his Dobby encounter.

"Here, Minerva," said Tonks cheerily, conjuring a new guitar then throwing the strap over her shoulder; "I'll play for ya."

"I've found some wicked lyrics," said George, handing McGonagall a few sheets of music.

"Ooh, nice one, George," Tonks whistled looking at the music in McGonagall's hand. She then began to strum her guitar, and Minerva began to talk her way through the song, in the same strict voice she used on delinquent students.

"Wild thing
You make my heart sing
You make everything ...'groovy'? What kind of word is that?"

"Just keep singing," Tonks hissed as she continued to rock her guitar.

"Old McGongall and 'Wild Thing'? You've got to be joking!" Ron laughed so hard that he wet himself.

"...But I want to know for sure
Come on, hold me tight
I love--Tonks? TONKS!" she snapped at the young witch, who had gone into a rock solo.

Tonks then smashed her guitar to pieces and threw herself out into the crowd, which was roaring.

"Nymphadora!" said an outraged McGonagall. "What in Merlin's name are you doing? You boys, put her down!"

Lupin did not seem too happy either.

"Oh, goody," said Snape, as Tonks 'accidentally' kicked him in the head.

***

Finally, when Tonks had been properly sedated and carried off by Lupin, Minerva resumed her seat and gave Snape a death stare. "One word of this to anyone, Severus," she hissed, "and I'll go straight to the Headmaster."

"Go right ahead," said Snape calmly; "I'm sure that Professor Dumbledore could use a good laugh."

"Ahem!" Ginny Weasley coughed rather loudly to get their attention. "Hem, hem. That's better. I'll be singing 'Holding out for a Hero':

Where have all of the good wizards gone
And what’s with all of the s*ds?
Where’s the street-wise Merlin, please,
To fight the rising odds?
Isn’t there a white knight upon a Firebolt steed?
Late at night I toss and turn and dream
of what I need

I need a hero
I'm holding out for a hero 'til the end of the night
He's gotta be strong
And he's gotta be fast
And he's gotta be fresh from the fight
I need a hero
I'm holding out for a hero 'til the morning light
He's gotta be sure
And it's gotta be soon
And he's gotta be larger than life
Somewhere after midnight
In my wildest fantasy
Somewhere just beyond my reach
There's someone reaching back for me
Racing on the thunder end rising with the heat
It's gonna take a Potter to sweep me off my feet

I love you, Harry, wherever you are!" Ginny then burst into tears and ran from the stage, hexing anyone who got in her way.

*Thank you to IMissPadfoot for the song suggestion! I'm still open to requests!

***

"Hi, I'm Colin Creevey and this is my brother, Dennis," panted Colin, dragging his brother onto the stage. "We're co-founders of the HPFC: The Harry Potter Fan Club--"

"Not to be mistaken for 'spew'!" shouted Fred.

"It's S.P.E.W.!" Hermione insisted. "Honestly."

"Here's a song we wrote for Harry, based on his experiences during his fifth year."

"I can hardly wait for this," Snape groaned, rubbing his temples.

The boy's then began to sing:

"Where is that Albus when you need him the most
You put down your wand and the magic is lost
They tell me your blue skies fade to grey
That Umbridge done took your broom away
For saying Malfoy’s carrion

You walked a thin line, gave Draco a blow
You’re grabbin’ your scar with pumpkin juice to go
You tell me that You-Know-Who is back
That Dumbledore’s got himself the sack
That dumb Umbridge is carrion

'Cause you had a bad day
You took Malfoy down
Fred and George left, would have burned the place down
They’re telling you "no"
They say that you lie
You flatten your hair and you go do your lines
You had a bad day
My camera don’t lie
You’re stuck on the ground and you really do mind
You had a bad day
You had a bad day

Well you need a Hogsmeade holiday
The point is they laugh at what you say
That You-Know-Who's not carrion

Cause you had a bad day
You took Malfoy down
Fred and George left, would have burned the place down
They’re telling you "no"
They say that you lie
You flatten your hair and you go do your lines
You had a bad day
My camera don’t lie
You’re stuck on the ground and you really do mind
You had a bad day
You had a bad day*

(Oh . . . Hogsmeade day . . .)

Sometimes wizards go on the blink
And the whole world thinks you’re wrong
You might not make it past and you know
That you could be well oh that strong
And I’m not wrong.

So where is that Albus when you need him the most
The Order and I
You set down your wand and the magic is lost

'Cause you had a bad day
You took Malfoy down
Fred and George left, would have burned the place down
They’re telling you "no"
They say that you lie
You flatten your hair and you go do your lines
You had a bad day
Don’t see what you like
And how does it feel not to fly
You had a bad day
You had a bad day."


"You two have to be the worst lyricists I ever heard," said Simon, his jaw dropped. "Daniel Powter would be ashamed! Rubbish, absolute rubbish."

Snape was too busy throwing up in an airsick bag to notice. He came up gasping "Potter!" once or twice, before heaving again.

"Thank you, boys; that will be all."


------
*Sorry, aurors; I'll take out any songs that you want ::guilty smile::



Last edited by House_Elf_21; August 6th, 2006 at 9:38 pm.
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