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Old September 7th, 2007, 4:24 pm
true_heir_of_slyth  Female.gif true_heir_of_slyth is offline
Sixth Year
Join Date: 27th May 2003
Location: Gazing on a Waterloo sunset
Age: 32
Posts: 1,301
Re: Voyages With Vampires: The New Bestseller by Gilderoy Lockhart


The Minister of Magic himself paid for a first class ticket on a boat for the first leg of my journey to Transylvania, ignoring my insistence that I was perfectly happy to Apparate. And so I set out from Dover, enjoying what would be the last luxuries for a long time. Once in Oojikavik, I would be living amongst the people: their ways would be mine.

As England became a faint smudge on the horizon, I settled down once more to my studies. I had found a particularly fine, though extremely old, volume on the habits of the Transylvanian vampires. These are the oldest known tribe of vampires in the world, and fiercely proud of this fact. Once the scourge of the country and the terror of young maidens, they are now all but completely integrated into everyday society. Renegade factions, however, keen to uphold the ways of old, remain, and it was such a faction terrorising Oojikavik. I resolved that on my return, I would chronicle my experiences, both as a warning and a helpful guide to other would-be vampire hunters.

The first day of my journey passed fairly uneventfully, and, save for whipping up restorative potions for the various members of crew and other passengers suffering from seasickness, I had little to do. That evening, I advised a particularly talented young cabaret singer on the pitfalls of fame. He has since gone on to global recognition and fortune, and still communicates with me regularly for advice.

The next day, however, a violent storm at sea rather broke the peace of this idyllic journey. Clinging grimly to the handrail on deck as I made my way back to my cabin from a conversation with the captain of the ship, who had never experienced such terrible conditions before and was desperate for my opinion on how best to ride out the storm, I was very nearly thrown off balance as the boat gave a sudden lurch. It was at that moment that I heard a series of distressing sounds: a cry, a high-pitched scream, and a splash barely audible above the pounding of the rain and the roar of the wind. I staggered across the deck, and quickly identified their source: a woman stood, leaning over the edge of the ship – her young son had been flung overboard. He was even now a mere speck in the waves, thrashing about for dear life. A more rational man would have taken a moment consider his own safety. I hope I can never be accused of being such a man. Fortunately, I had on my person a large quantity of stout rope, which I had been showing to the captain as an example of the kind he should use to lash down the cargo in the ship’s hold. I tied one end of the rope to the handrail, the other end tightly about my waist, and without even stopping to remove my cloak, I plunged into the sea. Never once was I daunted by the size of those waves: I struck out towards the young boy, who was by now entirely submerged. Diving, I grabbed him and pulled him back above the surface of the water, and pulled him back to the ship. I heard above me the rescue party who had finally arrived on the scene erupt into cheers. Hauling the boy back up onto the deck and performing a restorative charm, I was thanked profusely by his mother. Shaking off her thanks, I hastened back to my cabin, dried off my soaking robes, poured myself a mug of hot cocoa, and, at last, cocooned myself under my bedcovers.

(Having failed his Apparition test, Gilderoy Lockhart was forced to make his own way to Transylvania. Unfortunately, Professor Usgavoy had refused to pay Lockhart up front for the job, making affording any kind of transport extremely difficult. Sheer luck would have it that the Sea Nymph, a cruise liner that had seen better days, was looking for a minor celebrity to sing cabaret in its bar. As the former face of Professor Hedge’s Miracle Hair-Gro Tonic, Lockhart was snapped up for the job, narrowly beating a former contestant on the Wizarding Wireless Network’s second-most-listened to game show to the position.

Once on board, Lockhart realised he had made a terrible mistake. His cabin, essentially a corner of the hold with a curtain around it, was not built for comfort, and the rocking of the boat made him feel seasick. He somehow managed to make it through his set on the first evening, crooning to classics such as “No Potion in the World (Could Cure Me of You)” and “Just What the Healer Ordered” with considerably less enthusiasm than he would usually. However, he had to bolt out of the bar halfway through “M-A-G-I-C (Is How I Spell Your Name)” on the second evening, when the weather worsened and the ship’s motion became more irregular. Stumbling out onto the deck, he leant over the rail to bid farewell to his lunch.

Unfortunately, at that precise moment the ship lurched sharply to one side, tipping Lockhart head over heels into the water…)

* * *

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The New Bestseller - Available Now at Flourish and Blotts!
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One of the COS Authorteers - Barbara Kennedy, emikkime, Guardian Angel, Miri, thethirdman, leenielou, Kate Johnson, Prosperine, Lady DeMimsy and Amina, along with Potter_fan, Jessie and Captain Pookers.

Last edited by true_heir_of_slyth; September 7th, 2007 at 6:12 pm. Reason: confusion concoctions
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