View Single Post
Old September 13th, 2007, 4:02 pm
true_heir_of_slyth  Female.gif true_heir_of_slyth is offline
Sixth Year
Join Date: 27th May 2003
Location: Gazing on a Waterloo sunset
Age: 32
Posts: 1,301
Re: Voyages With Vampires: The New Bestseller by Gilderoy Lockhart


I arrived in Oojikavik a few days later, the remainder of my journey passing without incident. However, as seems to be my peculiar habit, it did not take long before my specialist talents were called upon.

The town square was quiet, eerily so. Houses and shops had been boarded up, and those that were still occupied were hidden behind shutters. Crucifixes and garlic hung from every available space. The focal point of the square, a large bronze statue of a mayor long forgotten, was likewise devoid of life, for no birds chose to roost there.

A shriek pierced the silence of the square: a young man, shabbily dressed in torn and dirty robes, ran towards me and grabbed me with shaking hands by the front of my own robes. I was obviously taken aback, but managed to regain enough composure to enquire exactly what he hoped to achieve through such behaviour. The young man, however, seemed only able to gibber incoherent nonsense. Whatever he was trying to tell me, I sensed it must be of great import: he shook me fiercely, and his eyes bored into mine with an expression of pleading.

‘Don’t touch him!’ I heard a voice cry. Another young man, carrying a large stick but apparently reluctant to come any closer, was standing across the square from us. Fortunately, I had taken the time on the journey over from England to teach myself some basic Transylvanian.

‘Why ever not?’ I asked, with some surprise.

‘He is cursed! The vampires cursed him! If you touch him, you will be cursed too!’

‘Nonsense,’ I scoffed. ‘You will observe that I am standing in extremely close proximity to this young man, and there is nothing wrong with my health at all. However…’ I looked closely at the young man, who had fallen silent, staring at me with an awed expression.

‘You are right,’ I said, straightening up. ‘This unfortunate young man has been cursed—‘

‘You see!’

‘—but not by a vampire. This is a particularly nasty example of a Babbling Curse. Fortunately, with the right incantation, it is easily lifted…’

It was but the work of a moment to lift the curse, and I suddenly found myself being pulled into a tight hug.

‘Thank you! Thank you so much!’ sobbed the man. I heard his companion’s stick clatter to the ground in surprise. ‘I knew you would be able to help me, Mr. Lockhart!’

‘You know my name?’ I asked, pleasantly surprised.

‘Of course! Your adventures are legend here … when I heard that you had agreed to our town, I knew that I must meet you! Mr. Lockhart, how can I ever thank you?’

‘Your happiness is the best kind of thanks I could hope for,’ I said, humbled.

‘You must be exhausted from your journey – Mr. Usgavoy has reserved for you the best room in our inn. Follow me … they will be so happy to find that you have finally arrived!’

(Gilderoy Lockhart arrived in Udjikavik three weeks late, tired, smelling of something indistinguishable but extremely repugnant, and having lost both his spare set of robes and the map Professor Usgavoy had given him. Speaking not a single word of Romanian, he was reduced to playing a bizarre game of charades with the locals, who became convinced that he was under a particularly vicious Babbling Curse and decided it was best just to leave him to his own devices. Utterly lost, Lockhart curled up on a bench in the town square and fell asleep. In the morning, he found that someone had run off with his toothpaste.)

* * *

A/N: unfortunately, dear readers, there may be a large gap in between this and the next update - I have been called away to advise at the next Dark Forces Defence League meeting, being held in Darkest Peru. But fear not - I shall return with the continuation of this, my greatest adventure, at the earliest possible opportunity.

In the meantime, of course, fan mail and feedback can still be sent, and will be dealt with by my able assistant Fran, who will be very happy to keep you up to date with the goings-on in my life.

with warmest wishes,

Gilderoy Lockhart xx

A/N: might be a bit of a delay for the next update ... I start university this Saturday, so as you can appreciate I'm going to be pretty busy! I will of course do my very best to update as much as possible, though

love Slythy xx


The New Bestseller - Available Now at Flourish and Blotts!
(for fan mail, feedback, hair-care tips and marriage proposals, please click here)

One of the COS Authorteers - Barbara Kennedy, emikkime, Guardian Angel, Miri, thethirdman, leenielou, Kate Johnson, Prosperine, Lady DeMimsy and Amina, along with Potter_fan, Jessie and Captain Pookers.
Reply With Quote
Sponsored Links