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Old October 10th, 2005, 12:36 pm
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Sixth Year
 
Join Date: 20th July 2005
Location: in Snape's mind
Age: 44
Posts: 1,362
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CHAPTER 18: EVEN MORE DO’S AND DONT’S

It wasn’t an easy night for Lily. She had told her two friends that she liked Severus very much. They were surprised, but they were expecting that. Terra admitted that she’d felt Lily might like him as Lily had always kept saying that she knew Snape better than others and seemed to tolerate him. Angie was much more skeptical, saying that working with a Slytherin wasn’t a wise move as it was said that almost everybody who joined the Death Eaters group, came from Slytherin, “And Severus’s exceptionally good at the Defence Against the Dark Arts, everybody knows that”, she concluded, “Why wouldn’t he be so interested in this subject if he wouldn’t link his future to the Dark Arts?”.
Lily was lying in her bed, forcing herself to catch some sleep and the more often she was telling herself that she needed this, the more angry she became and sleep didn’t come. She felt confused because what she felt towards Severus was very complicated.
“I can say I like him, I even can say I... want to feel his lips on mine again. Oh, I won’t lie- I miss it so much... I like being in his presence, he’s more mature than the other boys I know. Or perhaps there even are boys as mature as he is, take Frank and Remus for example, but... I wouldn’t like to be kissed by them, that’s the difference”, her mind was speeding feverishly, “What does Severus think?”
Severus was lying in his bed in the Slytherin dormitory, his eyes wide open, staring at the dark ceiling where you could notice some dancing light shadows of the snow outside. Something deep inside him was burning from desire, from happiness, he was missing Lily like crazy, his mind was galloping, thoughts fast as lightings. Lily was a person he was yearning to, she was somebody who listened to him, who cared...
“She’s a Griffindor”, he thought and this realized him again how difficult it can be...
“He’s from Slytherin”, Lily thought about that time, “As much as I’d like to believe that he’s not like them, like Bellatrix, Avery and so on, as much as I try, I can’t be absolutely sure... He tends to being appreciated, to be somebody big and if the boys didn’t bully him... if he could overcome that... he’d be somebody of a huge importance”.
Something started mixing in Lily’s head... she saw the dungeons, Severus was coming towards her saying: “You’re the reason worth living for... I’m mad about you and I’ll always be - you give me a sense of life”... he was looking at her so passionately... then he suddenly changed, he was wearing a mask on his face and a robe with a hood on his head and he was talking to Voldemort...
Lily fell asleep and it was a strange dream, full of faith, longing and fear. Severus didn’t sleep at all: his heart was pumping too fast for sleep all that night. He knew he had to give her the time she needed.

The next week was passing by very fast. Teachers were getting more and more severe about fifth-years O. W. L. s exams. Students felt the pressure and it didn’t make them less stressed at all. Lily had another reason to worry about: Severus.
“Come on, Lily, you’re so sad! You shouldn’t be dead serious. You’ve totally lost your sense of humour!”, Terra said, looking worried, “What are you thinking about so hard?-”.
Angie broke Terra’s monologue, looking at Lily, “You’re so pale...”
“Don’t try to tell me I should go to Mrs Healing”, Lily smiled lightly.
“There’s no Mrs Healing at school. She won’t be working here no more”, Angie explained patiently, “You were late for today’s breakfast. Dumbledore told us that she was replaced by Madam Pomfrey”.
“How come?”, Lily asked, sounding more lively, “What happened?’
“Er- all her family was murdered by the Death Eaters. Her husband and two sons... everybody”.
“Oh...”, Lily was shocked, “I didn’t – oh- poor Healing”.

The last Potions lesson in the week seemed a nightmare for her. She didn’t know if she could pretend she didn’t see Snape and she didn’t know if he can pretend he didn’t notice her. Somehow she didn’t want everybody to know what went on between them both. Fortunately she heard that Snape was lying in the hospital wing as Sirius Black and James Potter conjured him one new arm. Black wasn’t looking much better: Snape conjured him a monkey tail and it was said that they would have to stay in the hospital wing for one more day. Potter got a detention and Lily was wondering how all these punishments can be worth hexes they constantly did. She could only imagine how Severus and Sirius suffered being both closed in the same space, wearing additional arms and tails...
“Miss Evans, excellent as always! Only one clue: I’d give more of these roots to your potion, try it and you’ll be having a better effect”, Slughorn said, walking and checking students work, “Lily, what happened you haven’t thought about it yourself, the greatest potion-maker you are?”
“I – I have a headache, sir, it’s been lasting since yesterday”, Lily replied and she wasn’t lying; all what had happened on last Sunday caused nothing but headache and sudden heart fluttering.
“Lily, dear, why haven’t you told me before”, Slughorn waved his hand, “Go to Madam Pomfrey, I’m sure she’ll help you!”.
“I can live with it, Professor”, Lily answered, “Considering how many people are tortured by the Death Eaters, my headache is a ridiculous problem”.
Slughorn smiled; meanwhile Lily caught Bellatrix’s eye: she was looking at her sneeringly.
“You’re right- if you think you can live with it- look at her, all! We should fight our weaknesses... Lily, you’re a real Grifindor!”
“She is indeed”, James Potter said loudly and Remus nodded. Lily looked at them and blushed. After a minute a Slytherin named Amycus gave her a small piece of parchment: she saw herself drawn on it. It was a moving picture: she was lying on the floor, yelling with pain. The note under the picture was saying:
You’ll end up like this, Mudblood.
P. S. And then you’ll be killed.


“No wonder you may be afraid to trust Slytherins”, Terra hugged Lily the as strongly as she could, “After this note...”
“Maybe we should try to trust them a bit... I don’t know, I don’t truly believe in what I’ve just said”, Terra suggested and went out to meet Sirius in the hospital wing.
Lily stayed with Angela. “It’s a hard situation, I know, being a Muggle and a witch these times”, Angie sighed and they both stayed in a strong embrace, sitting on the bed and looking at the window. It was still snowing hardly. “Snow is falling from the sky and it’s so white and innocent. Oh, how I wish life was as pretty and immaculate as the snow”, Lily thought and sighed.


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