Untitled

[Kiotzu]

This is my first fic, if I continue it will become a Teddy Lupin fic to an extent but I just wonder If my writing is good enough, so here is the first part of it.

“Hurry, hurry or you’ll miss your train” said a thin woman with a face that looked as if it had seen terrors many could only imagine. Her silver hair lay softly on her shoulders and she had deep brown eyes that gave her a warm look, they were identical to the young boy struggling to push his cart that was much large them himself. They made their way to the ninth platform. He looked up at her smiling.
“Grandma where is my train” he said looking slightly disappointed.
He looked around and did not see many other people, had they missed the train. She put her hand on his shoulder and smiled.
“Just run at the tenth platform dear” she said softly laughing after it.
He looked at her as if she was joking, surely he would collide into the platform his cart spilling his trunk and the travelling case carrying his kitten. He then smiled and hugged her tightly but very briefly as he then grasped the handle of his cart and hesitated at taking the first step but once he did he broke out in a jog. Approaching the platform he shut his eyes and braced for impact, but it never came he just kept running. He then heard a women yell at him as he kept running with his eyes still shut tightly. He awoke from this momentary lapse in thought and opened them. A scarlet steam engine was pumping steam through the platform and families stood together leaving each parting words as they heaved their trunks up into the train. He saw two boys standing across from each other the older boy stuck out his hand and then the other reached for it. He jumped as their hands connected and the device attached to the older boys hand shocked him. Muggles he thought to himself as he reached the entrance to this train car. He grabbed his trunk with one hand and the animal travelling case in the other. Struggling up the steps he made his way down the train looking for an empty compartment. He reached one and was sure it was the only one as he heard giggles, voices and sounds of people crying farewell in others.

He sat down looking out at the families saying last minute good byes to their children through the windows. He smiled slightly before letting a lone tear run down his cheek. He was an eleven year old wizard; this should be the happiest day of his life now heading to Hogwarts but without a mother, father or siblings to say good-bye to this was hardly as exciting as it had been as it was 10 minutes ago when he thought there would be others like him. He could see his reflection in the window his short black hair sat on his head handsomely, his eyes a deep brown that gave and unexpected warmth. His brand new school robes hid his skinny frame but it seemed to accent nicely his little bit of extra height. The Compartment door slid open piercing blue eyes peeked into the compartment before the girls blond hair fell over it.
“Do you mind?” she quietly asked.
“No” he replied.
He was quite glad that somebody had actually wanted to sit with him, or maybe there was just no room in any other compartment and he was a last resort. She sat there smiling at him. He finally noticed as the train began to leave the station.
“I’m Fenix Nokes” he said holding out his hand to shake hers.
She beamed at him. “That’s a cute name, mine is Gabrielle Kane.” She then shook his hand before a boy popped his head in.
“Young love” he joked. They both glared at him quickly releasing each other’s hand. “Sorry Sorry, I’m a prefect, just wanted to remind you to change into your school robes as it is getting dark” he finished before exiting the compartment. Gabrielle pulled the blind around her so she could change. He hadn’t realised it but it was already dark out and they were pulling up to a station.

Fenix looked out and saw a small town, this couldn’t be the school, could it. Even if it was he was fine with it, he had his first friend and they would pull through it. The girl was now sitting across from him in robes just as new as his.
“So do you know what house you want to be in” she asked him.
“I don’t know” he replied. He didn’t know much about the houses in their entirety but didn’t really imagine any of them could be that bad.
“I think I would want to be a Gryffindor or Ravenclaw” she told him “I would not want to be placed in Slytherin filled with those evil students, or Hufflepuff, I hear they are usually a bunch of gits” She looked at him.
The train had come to a complete stop and students were piling out. “Hey, I don’t think Slytherin is that bad you know Serverus Snape was a Slytherin. . . it can’t be that bad to be a Hufflepuff either” he said leaving the compartment as they had been told there things would be transported magically to the school.
“My cousin told me that before you are sorted you must duel other students, that’s how they weed out the weak, and then you must perform a number of different charms and hexes” Fenix exclaimed as they walked towards a large man beckoning them forward. “But I doubt that is true because my other cousin told me that you must only place an old hat on your head, I don’t think that’s true either though seems silly”
Next they knew they were on a small boat with 3 other students who seemed to be well acquainted with one another. Gabrielle and Fenix did not pay any attention to them. They eyes were focused on the magnificent castle that now peered down at them.
“I don’t know how we will be sorted but I don’t care as long as we get to go to school there” Gabrielle said in awe.



So Should I continue.

[Kiotzu]

http://www.cosforums.com/showthread.php?t=119044

feed back