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Ask Snape - The Game



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  #1181  
Old April 27th, 2012, 12:15 am
GrimeldaDursley  Female.gif GrimeldaDursley is offline
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Re: Ask Snape - The Game

Ms. Bolt:

How dare you use my name under false pretenses! Or any pretenses for that matter! I have made a total prat of myself in front of that peddler of plush monstrosities! The first years may keep their stuffed snakes, it would be unfair to make anyone else pay for your unmitigated gall.

I will pay for these, as my reputation is at stake.

Detention, Miss Bolt, 8 pm Saturday evening. You will be cleaning the cracks in the Potions Classroom floor. Bring your toothbrush.

Professor Snape

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++ +++++++++++++++

Dear Mr. Poole:

Enclosed is the payment for the 12 stuffed green fluffy snakes. An oversight by a subordinate caused me to be unaware of the purchase. I regret any inconvenience this may have caused.

Sincerely,

Severus Snape

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++ ++++++++++++

Dear Severus,

We used to talk and laugh and go places together, and now you just ignore me!
What did I do wrong?
I miss you!

Sincerely,

Bereft of Your Affections


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"Magic is everywhere, open not only your eyes, you must also open your heart and just look, it's there, it's been there all along!"--me

I'm a Hufflepuff in a Slytherin World!


snape lives imho
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  #1182  
Old April 27th, 2012, 2:04 am
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merrymarge  Female.gif merrymarge is offline
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Re: Ask Snape - The Game

Dear Rhodri Bolt,
We don't encourage students to buy presents for other students. There could be problems with some students feeling obligated to buy presents except during holiday time.
While it is admirable to want to help your fellow students to adjust to Hogwarts, we recommend the students ask their parents to send them something from home.
Professor Snape and I agree detention for a week will be sufficiant punishment for you. As for the toys, that is up to Professor Snape and he is thinking over the matter.
Professor Dumbledore

Albus,
Do you really think a week's worth of detentions is enough punishment for young Bolt? I would like to forbid any more presents to a whole group of students. First years should just learn how to adjust with- out anything special, the way I had to adjust. That's why we have prefects who can spend time with the young blighters.
Severus


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  #1183  
Old April 28th, 2012, 2:15 am
GrimeldaDursley  Female.gif GrimeldaDursley is offline
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Re: Ask Snape - The Game

Dear Professor Snape,

I will see you Saturday night for my detention. I am so sorry for using your name and I deserve that detention. I was wrong. I was also wrong not to listen to my mother when she told me my hair was getting so long people might think I'm a girl. Professor Flitwick cut it for me, so there will be no more misconceptions. Unfortunately, you know Professor Flitwick, he gets kind of carried away sometimes. On well, it's hair, it will grow!




Sincerely,

Rhodri Bolt

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++ +++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

Sir you've got to help me!

That Isadore Plunkett was at it again, and I kind of stupified him, and he fell into a whole bed of Professor Sprout's rare Osculating Orchids! His face is covered in well, osculation marks and Madame Pomfrey can't get rid of them! He won't leave us alone! We were in the greenhouses helping Professor Sprout and he told us we had no right to be there, Professor Sprout walked in just as I hexed him! She's not mad, but Isadore is threatening to tell his father, who is on the Wizengamot! We could be arrested!

Siggy Whetstone


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I'm a Hufflepuff in a Slytherin World!


snape lives imho
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  #1184  
Old April 29th, 2012, 6:02 am
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merrymarge  Female.gif merrymarge is offline
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Re: Ask Snape - The Game

Dear Whetstone,
No, you won't be arrested, you will just have to attend a hearing. Professor Dumbledore and I will accompany you to your hearing. Stanley Plunkett will have to listen to us, this time. I really don't know how that man was elected to the Wizengamot Council. I suspect gold exchanged hands.
Professor Snape

Albus,
Tuesday, May 1, at 9 am sharp. You, me, Mr. Whetstone, attending a hearing at the Wizengamot courtroom over a bit of school mischief concerning one Isodore Plunkett. His dad is on the Council. Amelia Bones will be presiding. I know you usually sit on the Council but since it concerns the students, Amelia asked to preside in your place. She is very fair and won't be swayed by Stanley Plunkett. Really, Albus, letting a Muggle on the Wizengamot Council wasn't very wise.
Severus


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  #1185  
Old May 1st, 2012, 9:41 pm
Sinistra_Furze  Undisclosed.gif Sinistra_Furze is offline
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Re: Ask Snape - The Game

Mr Plunkett

After the evidence given today at the Wizengamot I hope you are now clear as to the cause of the problems your son has been experiencing at the School. Isadore is under great pressure to achieve; unfortunately he has attempted to impose himself on the other students rather than impress his professors with the diligence of his studies.

The consequences have been an unacceptable level of disruption to the School.

I have had a word with the other students who have promised to give Isadore a chance to prove himself a fair student and potential friend. He has been assigned a Prefect to help supervise his progress and to whom he may address any complaints or difficulties he may have.

Mr Whetstone has been given extra duties by way of punishment; he is to assist Prof Sprout each Saturday to the end of term to repair the damage to the osculating orchids.


Prof Snape


--- --- ---


Theodore Poole and Associates
Knockturn Alley
London
(Purveyors of the best Stuffed toys in Britain)

Prof Snape

Thank you for making payment for the fluffy green serpents. We accept your explanations and apologies unreservedly and look forward to your custom in future.

I hope I have not been too forward, but I have written to the other Heads of House at the School encouraging them to follow your example and purchase fluffy toys for their own first-year students.

Thank you once again for your custom and we hope to see you in-store before too long.


Theodore Poole

--- --- ---

**HOWLER**

MR BOLT!

MY OFFICE. NOW!

Prof Snape


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  #1186  
Old May 2nd, 2012, 2:22 am
GrimeldaDursley  Female.gif GrimeldaDursley is offline
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Re: Ask Snape - The Game

Why Severus!

What a sweet idea, little stuffed toys representing the Houses for First Years!

Beneath that Snarky exterior, you're just a big sweetheart!

Pomona Sprout

PS- I ordered one dozen little stuffed Badgers this morning!

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++ ++++++++++++++++

Severus:

Hee-hee! I knew that very deep down, you could be nice! I ordered 12 stuffed lions today!

Minerva

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++ +++++++++++++++++

Severus,

I had 13 toy Eagles delivered by express owl this morning. I know, I've got only 12 new Ravenclaws this year, the extra is for me! It's so cute! When you hug it, it flaps its little wings!

Filius

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++ +++++++

Albus,

I am so ticked off right now I could just explode! Now everyone thinks I'm some kind of nice guy! I simply cannot bear it, my reputation is in ruins!

Severus

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++ ++++++++++++++

Dear Severus,

I would like to have a stuffed replica of my dear sweet Nagini! Could you order me one?

That's an order, by the way.

The Dark Lord


__________________
"Magic is everywhere, open not only your eyes, you must also open your heart and just look, it's there, it's been there all along!"--me

I'm a Hufflepuff in a Slytherin World!


snape lives imho
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  #1187  
Old May 4th, 2012, 4:26 am
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merrymarge  Female.gif merrymarge is offline
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Re: Ask Snape - The Game

My Dear Dark Lord,
I am sorry that there are no more toy snakes. All the first year Slytherins purchased them. Some of them were having a difficult time at Hogwarts without "Mumsy and Dear ol' Dad". It shames me to know that Our House has weaklings in it. Apparently, we still need to prune our family trees.
Severus

Severus,
Now, now, nothing wrong with some comfortable toys to help our young students adjust to Hogwarts. You were lucky to come from a magical family and needed no adjustment. You fitted in quite well, well as far as classes went.
It was an excellent idea.
Albus


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  #1188  
Old May 5th, 2012, 8:23 pm
Sinistra_Furze  Undisclosed.gif Sinistra_Furze is offline
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Re: Ask Snape - The Game


Aesclepius Publishing Co.
Little Snoring
Norfolk, England



Messrs Hellebore and Hempus

thank you for your recent communication regarding the payment of 200 Galleons to my Gringotts account as first fees for my revision of the Standard Book of Potions. I am pleased to hear it has sold well, though not surprised as the old edition was so far out of date to be useless for teaching purposes.

I have made good progress on writing my own advanced potions book and hope to have the first draft to you by late August.

Prof S Snape


--- --- ---


Professor Snape, Sir

we need to get better brooms for Slytherin House Quidditch team. We trounced Hufflepuff, naturally, with our superior skills but lack of speed nearly undid us at one point in the last game.

I happen to have seen and greatly admired your top of the range model, Sir. We couldn't stoop so low as to hold a raffle to raise money like the Hufflepuffs did - we can't be seen to beg, but if you know anyone who can help us improve our chances against Gryffindor.. they have just got a delivery of the new Nimbus school brooms from Mr Potter, Sir.


Noxious Blaxenhall III


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Last edited by Sinistra_Furze; May 5th, 2012 at 8:31 pm. Reason: Sp *tut*
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  #1189  
Old May 8th, 2012, 11:25 pm
snaperunner  Female.gif snaperunner is offline
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Re: Ask Snape - The Game

Mr.Blaxenhall,
I suggest a word with Mr.Malfoy. I believe your fathers know each other?.
Prof.S.Snape



Dear Professor Snape,
I must apologize for my part in the horrible prank that Harry Potter and Ron Weasly pulled on you. I was not aware when they asked me to make polyjuice potion that they were going to impersonate you. Please tell Professor McGonagall that I hope she recovers from the nasty shock she recieved when she saw all three Professor Snapes all together. I will se you in detention this evening,sir.
Hermione Grainger


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  #1190  
Old May 10th, 2012, 5:09 am
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merrymarge  Female.gif merrymarge is offline
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Re: Ask Snape - The Game

Dear Professor Snape,
Lucius Malfoy does know my father. I think I will have to ask my dear father for new brooms. I will bully him into buying the new brooms because he wants us to win the Quidditch Cup. I heard that England and Ireland are having a Quidditch match this weekend. I hope my father can get tickets.
Sir, would you like to join us?
Noxie Blaxenhall

Hermione,
don't worry about your part in the prank that Potter and Weasley played using polyjuice potion. Minerva is recovering nicely under the care of Madam Pomfrey. I have spoken to Shacklebolt about their behaviour. Since they work for him, then he can decide what type of punishment to administer to them.
Severus


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  #1191  
Old May 10th, 2012, 2:02 pm
Pokota  Undisclosed.gif Pokota is offline
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Re: Ask Snape - The Game

Noxious

Ten points from Slytherin for not keeping your brilliant plan to yourself. Leaving a paper trail is bad form.

And no, I have experiments I need to keep track of over the weekend.

~Professor Snape.

----

Professor Snape,

We at St. Mungos Hospital for Magical Maladies are very grateful to you for your continuing support, both financially and experimentally. We have spoken with the Ministry of Magic about you receiving a research grant. Your potions and spells have been a wonderful help, and we hope to continue working with you.

Yours in good faith,
The staff of St. Mungo's Hospital


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  #1192  
Old May 11th, 2012, 3:51 am
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Re: Ask Snape - The Game

Severus,
Congratulations on receiving a research grant. Hogwarts is proud to have such a brillant potions teacher on staff. Why don't you take the weekend off and go enjoy yourself at England's and Ireland's Quidditch tournament. I can watch your experiments for you.
Hermione

Severus,
I hear you might not want to go to the Quidditch tournament this weekend. If you do change your mind, I have it on good authority that Ireland will win the match.
I heard Ginny Weasley will be playing Seeker.
Oh, and congratulations on your research grant. We are very proud of you.
Filius


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  #1193  
Old May 11th, 2012, 12:32 pm
snaperunner  Female.gif snaperunner is offline
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Re: Ask Snape - The Game

To the staff at St.Mungos,
Thank you for the research grant. I do rather enjoy trying out new potions and discovering new remedies. This will allow me to continue in peace.
Prof. Severus Snape



Miss Grainger,
Thank you for the congratulations,however I prefer to look after my potions myself. As far as quidditch, I have no interest in the sport-unless of course it is Slytherin vs anybody.
Prof. Snape


Prof. Flitwick,
Thank you for the congratulations.Unfortunately the only quidditch that interests me is Slytherin vs any other house. Of course I know who will win.

Prof. Snape





Deer Prof Snape,
no mor h8ng.
yr studnt


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  #1194  
Old May 12th, 2012, 3:24 am
GrimeldaDursley  Female.gif GrimeldaDursley is offline
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Re: Ask Snape - The Game

2 studnt:

No who U R. D 10 shun Sat nite 8:00. BCUZ I sez so!

LOL LOL LOL

Prof. Snape

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++ ++++++++++++++

Dear Professor Snape,

The enclosed gift certificate entitles you to 6 free tanning sessions at Madame Puddifoot's Day Spa. Do take adavantage of these, as you look kind of pasty, you know.


Sincerely,

Your friends


__________________
"Magic is everywhere, open not only your eyes, you must also open your heart and just look, it's there, it's been there all along!"--me

I'm a Hufflepuff in a Slytherin World!


snape lives imho

Last edited by GrimeldaDursley; May 12th, 2012 at 3:29 am.
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  #1195  
Old May 12th, 2012, 5:17 pm
WelkinCooper  Female.gif WelkinCooper is offline
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Re: Ask Snape - The Game

(Note attached to Bulletin Board in Hogwarts Faculty Lounge)

My dear 'friends':

Your concern for my pallor is duly noted. However, I shall not be attending Madame Puddifoot's Day Spa, either with, or without, gift certificates at anytime in the near future. I have far better uses for my time than to fritter it away on such vain and unavailing nonsense.

In case you haven't noticed, I have not changed my name to Gilderoy Lockhart. He would be more than delighted to visit your tanning emporium, I am sure.

I remain your ever-'pasty' and unpresumptuous,
Prof. Snape

****** 
 
Dear Severus,

We are all going to Madame Puddifoot's Day Spa for manicures, pedicures and facials on Saturday at ten o'clock. Just a little treat for the staff, you know, to keep up morale.

Of course, you will be joining us, I presume. That was not an optional invitation, by the way. See you there. I'm so excited! I hear you get your choice of robe color. I do hope they have lavender.

Your eternally presumptuous,
Albus Dumbledore


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  #1196  
Old May 12th, 2012, 10:16 pm
snaperunner  Female.gif snaperunner is offline
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Re: Ask Snape - The Game

Albus,
Sir, you are presumptous, with all due respect. However I will not be joining due to some potions I have that will be nearing completion and cannot be left alone. You do wish Lupin to have his Wolvesbane potion this month,do you not?
Prof. S. Snape


Dearest Severus,
You will join us tomorrow at 10:00,at Madame Puddifoot's Day Spa since you did not see fit to join today's excursion. Even at Albus Dumbledore's specific request. I thought I taught you better manners than that. Since tomorrow is Mother's Day,please stop at The Blooming Idiot Floral shop and pick me up a bouquet- preferably not lilies again. Afterwards I thought it would be nice to go to Sir Chai's Tea Shoppe. They have decorated for the day. I look forward to seeing you tomorrow, my dearest son-and only child.

Love
Mummy


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  #1197  
Old May 13th, 2012, 1:55 am
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merrymarge  Female.gif merrymarge is offline
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Re: Ask Snape - The Game

Dear Mummy,
Happy Mother's Day to you. No, I am sorry, really sorry but I just cannot join you at the Day Spa. the thought of going there makes me positively ill.
however, I will buy you my favorite flowers, lilies. They are so fragrant and a lovely pale white. I had as dear friend named Lily, Mum. Don't you remember, she used to come over to visit during the summer holidays. That's why I buy the flowers, as a remembrance of her. As for the Tea Shoppe, it will have to be later in the evening, after 5. We can have high tea.
Severus

Dear Just saying,
Away, you nutter. Snakes are my friends. I have nothing to fear from them. Though I cannot speak to them, I speak for them and let everyone know that snakes are seriously misunderstood animals.
In fact, I use to have a pet snake outside my bedroom window.
Professor Snape


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  #1198  
Old May 13th, 2012, 12:44 pm
WelkinCooper  Female.gif WelkinCooper is offline
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Re: Ask Snape - The Game

Dear Sevvy,

Remember Lily? Good God! I thought we'd adopted her, you had her over to the house so often during the summer. You're not still sweet on that little witch are you? Didn't she...errrr....well, you know...

I suppose it's an appropriate flower choice for her now, but certainly not for me. I'm still very much among the living, Severus Snape, not that you could tell that by how you seem to avoid me. You never visit, you never Owl! Do you know how long I was in labor with you? I gave up my girlish figure for you! And now you won't even go to the Spa with me. I'm hurt, Severus, truly and deeply hurt.

Mum (in case you've forgotten)

************************************************** **

Dear Severus,

I am deeply hurt that you chose to ditch our outing to Madam Puddifoot's Day Spa. You were sorely missed, as we all were looking forward to your 'make-over'.

Somewhat disgruntled,
Albus


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  #1199  
Old May 14th, 2012, 6:58 am
Aijita  Female.gif Aijita is offline
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Re: Ask Snape - The Game

Dear Mum

I'm so sorry to have hurt your feelings. I think you want a daughter for these type of excursions to the spa. Well my stomach still lurches at the idea of going, so it's a 'no'. But remember we can still have tea together after 5. And please... let's not go there: about how it took six hours for my arrival, etc, etc. There really isn't privacy with parents, is there?

Severus

______________________

To Somewhat-disgruntled Dumbledore,

I honestly don't know what you expected. I was being myself by not going.

Severus Snape

______________________

To Miss Granger

Could you please assist me in buying flowers for my mother? How is 5pm at Hogsmeade entrance for you?

Severus Snape


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Last edited by Aijita; May 14th, 2012 at 10:18 am.
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  #1200  
Old May 14th, 2012, 7:47 pm
GrimeldaDursley  Female.gif GrimeldaDursley is offline
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Re: Ask Snape - The Game

Dear Professor Snape,

Unfortunately, I can't meet you at 5 pm, I have a previous engagement. Not a pleasant one, mind you. But a promise is a promise! I agreed to help poor Argus Filch organize his filing system, it is a terrible mess! It looks like students were doing it as a punishment at one point! Who would be dumb enough to set students who didn't want to be there in the first place with this job? It is so sloppy, and I don't know how the poor man even functions with them in such disarray! So I will be helping him this evening. I might make a suggestion, though. Why not an arrangement of some living flowers in a hanging pot? The plant shop in Hogsmeade has some lovely ones, and she can continue to enjoy them all season.

Sincerely,

Hermione Granger

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++ +++++++++++++++++

Dear Professor Snape,

I am so discouraged about my sudden drop in marks. I was doing so well until I went to my aunt's house over spring holidays and played on her computer. I joined this site everyone had been talking about called Pottermore, and it put me in the wrong house first of all, and then, oh, it's just too horrible...I tried and tried and I can't seem to get the hang of casting spells, and you would just die if you could see how my potions are on there! I have blown up sixteen cauldrons in a week on there! Now, I'm blowing them up in class, something I have only done once in first year! And DADA, oh my! I was really doing quite well, and now, well, let's just say that I fainted in the presence of a boggart the other day! And I had been expelling boggarts for years, Sir!

I have really seemed to lose confidence in myself! Maybe I should withdraw from Hogwarts and go to beauty school or something! I am distraught and don't know if I am even a witch anymore! Do you have any suggestions to maybe help me? You are probably the smartest person I know. Please help me!


Sincerely,

Clementine Purvis
6th Year, Ravenclaw


__________________
"Magic is everywhere, open not only your eyes, you must also open your heart and just look, it's there, it's been there all along!"--me

I'm a Hufflepuff in a Slytherin World!


snape lives imho
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