Breastfeeding

[Siriusandme]

I have followed the discussion concerning the article in Time mag. and others and a thing that always puzzles me is people saying things like Durmstrangirl73.

In my opinion, if the woman drapes a shawl over her shoulder to cover her exposed breast without suffocating her child, there is no reason why she should be told to go to the bathroom.

I don’t really know that many women who would not breastfeed discretely (with or without a shawl) and even if she didn’t. Why would she have to go to the bathroom?? We see (half)naked people everywhere. They’re used to advertise cars. We see more naked women in films and on tv than ever before. (I’m currently watching Game of Thrones, OMG) And whenever I read an article about breastfeeding in public there are god knows how many comments saying how mothers wouldn’t want their innocent children seeing a baby being breastfed or how having sex is natural and you wouldn’t do that in public either. I guess bare breast are only ok when they bring in money or are there for men’s pleasure and nothing else.

[Quickquill]

Originally Posted by Siriusandme

I have followed the discussion concerning the article in Time mag. and others and a thing that always puzzles me is people saying things like Durmstrangirl73.



I don’t really know that many women who would not breastfeed discretely (with or without a shawl) and even if she didn’t. Why would she have to go to the bathroom?? We see (half)naked people everywhere. They’re used to advertise cars. We see more naked women in films and on tv than ever before. (I’m currently watching Game of Thrones, OMG) And whenever I read an article about breastfeeding in public there are god knows how many comments saying how mothers wouldn’t want their innocent children seeing a baby being breastfed or how having sex is natural and you wouldn’t do that in public either. I guess bare breast are only ok when they bring in money or are there for men’s pleasure and nothing else.

Good point. And nobody ever had any problem with breastfeeding mothers or bare breasted women being depicted on the cover of National Geoghraphic either, as long as the bare breasted woman came from some exotic locale.

The main problem is a local taboo against showing a woman's nipples in public. However, modest women have always found ways to breastfeed in public without baring all to public view. There are specially designed tops for breasrfeeding, or one can opt to use a shawl, scarf, or just a loose fitting top.

In any case, we're talking about a very limited length of time, when the baby is relatively small. Because once you start adding solids to the baby's diet, you cut back on the breastfeeding anyway, and can limit it to the home for the most part.

[Durmstrangirl73]

Siriusandme, I am sorry if you misunderstood what I meant... I did leave out something I wanted to say in my post. Yes, I breastfed, and yes, I draped a shawl over my child and my breast while I breastfed in public because there were those of both sexes, but especially men, who would walk past me with looks of disgust on their faces, or they would make very rude comments. I would wear nursing attire- bras and blouses. When I lived in Brazil, women were not discreet at all in public and some would just go completely topless. I lived there as a teen and witnessed a woman nursing in public on occasion, and I would see the occasional perv who would find some excuse to hang around and ogle until she was finished. Here, I would hear remarks such as "Leave some for me", or "You're making me hungry", or even "That's not fair! Why does she get some and I don't?" What I did not mention because I did not wish to offend, was that I can guarantee that those same men would not object if I was a stripper in a club exposing those same breasts for their pleasure. I agree with you 100%. Television has become all about full or partial nudity. A woman's breasts have become so sexualized that a mother doing something as natural as feeding her child is thought to be rude behavior. I was forced to cover up because of the ignorance of others and my husband's embarassment at those remarks being made to his wife. I'll bet Nicki Minaj didn't get any complaints when she flashed HER nipples on TV! Yes, her breasts were barely contained in her excuse for a dress. I think it was on either American Idol or the AMA's. Sorry if I didn't make myself clear!

[LestrangeClaire]

1. Do you/would you breastfeed your child? I had a baby girl in January, I am not breastfeeding and never did. Not my own choice, due to medications I have to be on I have to formula feed. I would have loved to though! When we have a second, my partner ... who will be carrying that time around, plans to breastfeed.

2. Do you think it’s fair to the mother to breastfeed for an extended period of time? It's all up to the woman. We all know breast is best, but some women struggle and it can impact on mental health.

3. When do you think is the right time to wean a child off the breast? Up to the woman. If I had BF I would have probably weaned around 12 months if all went well.

4. Do you think that older children actually need the breast milk, or do you think it’s more of a comfort thing? I don't know enough about the topic to discuss.

5a. Do you think mothers should be allowed to breastfeed in public? Of course. No one else has to eat in private, why should babies?

5c. If you answered yes to question 5a, why do you think others don’t agree with it? Sexualisation of breasts.

6. What do you think of shops/restaurants that have no feeding room and instead tell the mother to feed the child in the ladies toilets? Disgusting. No one should have to eat in a loo!

[TheShley]

This is a bit of a old thread, but it is a topic I have had to deal with fairly recently... ha!

The Questions:

1. Do you/would you breastfeed your child?

I tried to breastfeed my son. Infact, I had planned to do it for 6 months. Unfortunately, he had tonge-tie and was unable to latch on properly. Even after he had it cut, it still proved to be too much effort for him. I made the decision, at 4 weeks old, to stop. We were both miserable, and I am forever grateful that formula milk was available for him.

2. Do you think it’s fair to the mother to breastfeed for an extended period of time?
I won't lie, I find it slightly odd. I think, up to a year, yeah - go for it. But after that I just find it... wrong? Well, maybe that isn't the right word. My son is healthy, and happy and drinks cows milk (he's almost 2) There is just no need to do it. Quite a lot of the time, (and I know I'm generalising...) people do it because they think they are all mother earth etc. I know pregnant women who are BF their toddlers. In my opinion, they should have weaned them off long before due date....

3. When do you think is the right time to wean a child off the breast?
A year old...

4. Do you think that older children actually need the breast milk, or do you think it’s more of a comfort thing?
I don't think they need it all. As far as I was aware, the benefits of breast milk stop after 6 months. The babies should be getting all they need from their solid food diet...

5a. Do you think mothers should be allowed to breastfeed in public?
yes
5b. If you answered no to question 5a, can you give your reasons why it shouldn’t be allowed?

5c. If you answered yes to question 5a, why do you think others don’t agree with it?
I think, sometimes, women can be a bit... open with it. While I am all for women not having to go into a grotty public loo to feed their children, I do sometimes feel that they could be more discrete. I never BF my son in public because he was so rubbish at latching on, I had to really help him, and in order to do so, I would have shown the world my boob. Which I wouldn't have wanted to do..


6. What do you think of shops/restaurants that have no feeding room and instead tell the mother to feed the child in the ladies toilets?
Well, thats ridiculous. Why do they even need a feeding room?? Just do it sat down, just don't flap your boob about!

[merry18]

1. Do you/would you breastfeed your child?
I don't plan to breastfeed if/when I have a baby because I don't plan to take extended time off work. I was a formula baby and I think I turned out alright.

2. Do you think it’s fair to the mother to breastfeed for an extended period of time?
Eh, well, extended? Past 2-3 years old is a bit strange to me, honestly.

3. When do you think is the right time to wean a child off the breast?
My cousin's wife starts weaning them off around a year, I think, and continues to breastfeed in a limited capacity until about 2. It's worked for her pretty well so far. She's on her 5th so I trust her opinion!

4. Do you think that older children actually need the breast milk, or do you think it’s more of a comfort thing?
Well, I didn't need breast milk at all. It wasn't necessary for me at all but it might be necessary for others, so I think it might depend on the child/mother relationship and how much older we're actually talking about - once they hit a certain age and can eat a normal diet I don't think it's necessary.

5a. Do you think mothers should be allowed to breastfeed in public?
Yes. No question. But some situations should call for some discreetness - many parents are uncomfortable with their young kids seeing private parts, so maybe in public when there's children about there should be a blanket/maternity shirt/shawl or whatnot. I worked at a family activity center for 6 years and there was only one instance where we had a complaint about a mother breastfeeding (she didn't have anything covering). No one seemed bothered enough to complain whenever a mother was using a cover up.

5b. If you answered no to question 5a, can you give your reasons why it shouldn’t be allowed?

5c. If you answered yes to question 5a, why do you think others don’t agree with it?
The devaluation and degradation of what's considered women's work, as usual. Some people are also just afraid of private parts, I suppose, or afraid of their kids being exposed. If they're also opposed to breastfeeding in public when the mother is covering up it's likely to be the former or a combination.

6. What do you think of shops/restaurants that have no feeding room and instead tell the mother to feed the child in the ladies toilets?
I think that seems degrading.

[Quickquill]

Originally Posted by TheShley

4. Do you think that older children actually need the breast milk, or do you think it’s more of a comfort thing?
I don't think they need it all. As far as I was aware, the benefits of breast milk stop after 6 months. The babies should be getting all they need from their solid food diet...

Really?????!!!!! Would you wean a baby from the bottle formula that early? You're supposed to gradually introduce solids after the age of 6 months. "Gradually" means "a little bit at a time" alongside the milk feedings (which are reduced gradually as the child starts eating more solid food). The idea of formula is to substitute for mothers' milk. If you wouldn't wean a child from formula , you shouldn't wean him from breast milk any earlier. Breast milk constantly changes to meet the changing needs of the growing baby. Modern formulas try to approximate that with different age related versions, but they're still not perfect. And sometimes mistakes are made in their manufacture. A well nourished mother's milk is still the best food for her baby until he really is old enough to be weaned at around 2 or 3 years old.

[TheShley]

Originally Posted by Quickquill

Really?????!!!!! Would you wean a baby from the bottle formula that early? You're supposed to gradually introduce solids after the age of 6 months. "Gradually" means "a little bit at a time" alongside the milk feedings (which are reduced gradually as the child starts eating more solid food). The idea of formula is to substitute for mothers' milk. If you wouldn't wean a child from formula , you shouldn't wean him from breast milk any earlier. Breast milk constantly changes to meet the changing needs of the growing baby. Modern formulas try to approximate that with different age related versions, but they're still not perfect. And sometimes mistakes are made in their manufacture. A well nourished mother's milk is still the best food for her baby until he really is old enough to be weaned at around 2 or 3 years old.

Sorry, I guess I wasn't clear. I have heard that the benefits that come solely from breast milk (ie. things formula doesn't contain) stop after six months. Of course I wouldn't wean a baby off milk at six months! My son is almost 2 and still has at least one bottle of full fat cows milk a day. If I had been able to BF, I would have stopped between 6 months and a year, and would have moved on to formula, until one year old when he would have cows milk...

Three years old? Really? Surely, by that point, the child should be eating a well balanced diet, which should be enough for them. I mean, my son will get his nightly drink of milk for as long as he wants it, but there is no way I would still be breast feeding him now, had I been able to. I'll never see formula milk as a bad thing, because without it, my son would not be the healthy happy boy he is today. I think it is amazing, and we are all very lucky to have that option. Though, I 100% agree that every mother she try to BF their baby.