Were Lupin and Tonks irresponsible?

[LoonyLuna22]

I struggle with this subject alot. IMO, they must have realized that by joining the war they were risking leaving their child parentless. Yet as OOTP members it was Tonks and Lupin's job to fight the DE's. My belief is they should have waited to have kids until after the war. I question why they would have brought a baby into the world at the very height of it...

[mollypotter]

Originally Posted by Arcus

It was certainly a tragic situation, but I find Tonks' actions completely justifiable.

I've read multiple posts here where people suggest that Tonks chose her husband over her child and that really isn't the case simply because their respective situations are completely different. The kid was perfectly safe with whomever he had been left with (I forget who it was). Lupin on the other hand was in potential mortal danger and Tonks, being fully qualified to assist in such a situation, chose to help.

Imagine your house is on fire. Your son is perfectly safe outside the house but your spouse is trapped inside somewhere. Do you risk the death of your spouse just so your son might not have to be an orphan? Same principle really.

I agree completely. I know it wasn't the best situation to leave your child in, but they were in war! It wasn't as if she just left her child willy nilly, she had someone who could take care of him if anything happened. It's probably not what I would've done in that situation, but it was in her nature and I'm sure she didn't want to just let her husband go and die alone.

[mpp84]

I think they felt that if everyone thought going off to fight was irresponsible, nobody would do so, which would leave a world in which they couldn't raise Teddy anyway. In a way, they were doing their parental duty if anything.

[nevilles_sis]

I've struggled with this question for awhile. And the responses on this thread were very enlightening. It appeared that in the books, the Order were outnumbered by DEs , and certainly in the movies, they were overwhelmingly outnumbed! It would seem to me, that everyone that had the ability to fight, were needed to fight. Tonks was an experienced Auror - and IMO probably more "trained" to fight than even Lupin was. (Lupin had experience in Defense Against the Dark Arts, but as a shunned member of his society, he was probably never formally trained in anything like magical law enforcement).

As a mother myself, I would think that Tonks probably had Teddy at the forefront of her mind - and trying to make the world a better place for him. I mean, really, if V had won, Teddy would probably be targeted for "elmination" because of his heritage - regardless whether his parents lived or not.

I am very sad that Jo decided to kill both Lupin and Tonks (and Tonk's dad , Ted too! )

[mollypotter]

This is a little off-topic, but here's at least Jo's explanation for killing them off.
From hypable:

Rowling also reveals that in her original “sketch” (her word) of the series climax, one of the most beloved characters in the Potter canon survived: Remus Lupin — tragic werewolf, former Defense Against The Dark Arts professor, and husband to the metamorphmagus and auror, Nymphadora Tonks. (Gotta love the wordplay and names.) The seventh book tells us that before their deaths during the Battle of Hogwarts, Lupin and Tonks had a child. On the DVD, Rowling shares with Radcliffe that when she created Lupin’s character, she planned for him to survive the events of the finale. While the author has said as much in other interviews, here, she elaborates, explaining that she changed her mind when she realized that her last Harry Potter story was really about war, and that “one of the most horrifying things about war is how it leaves children fatherless and motherless.” The most powerful way she could dramatize that idea, she says, was to kill a set of parents that were dear to readers. “I had no intention of killing [Lupin],” says Rowling. “But then it dawned on me he had to die.”

[Dobbyfan619]

I was very sad when I read in Deathly Hallows that Lupin and Tonks were dead especially because of their son, Teddy. I don't think that they were irresponsible for going off to Hogwarts and fighting in the battle because they must have felt that it was their duty to do so since they were members of the Order of the Phoenix. They also probably fought in the battle with the hopes of defeating Voldemort once and for all and giving Teddy the chance to live in a better wizarding world which is what eventually happened so even though they died, it was not in vain. Although Teddy lost his parents at such a young age, he was fortunate to have his grandparents and godfather, Harry, to take care of him.

[HazelCloak30067]

I would say that they we're somewhat irresponsible, mainly bacause they made a 17 year old the godfather of their son knowing that there is a war going on and that they may not make it back alive. But overall, I think they were responsible enough to know that Tonks's mother would take care of Teddy until Harry was old enough and responsible enough to take care of a child

[EsmeeLeFay]

I am torn apart with this.
A part of me thinks that they were irresponsible and selfish because they had a baby son and basically abandoned him to fight in the war - the psychological effects that would follow as Teddy grows up wondering and wishing to have known/to know his parents. And feeling that they were 'gambling' with their son`s future having abandoned. If I had a choice, I would have had one parent go off into battle and the other stay behind with Teddy, so either way Teddy would not be left without both parents.
But then the other side - the morbid truth - as JKR puts it that war is devastating and leaves many apart. So, that is the harsh truth and imho, Lupin and Tonks were so passionate about defeating the evil and had so much faith [that Harry would defeat Voldemort] that they were willing to sacrifice everything to make a better future for the next generation; including their son.
Hope that made any sense

[eatus_Benevol1]

There are a lot of well thought out responses on this topic. I would like to add to those questioning whether getting married/and or having a child in a time of war is responsible. If a couple wants a child, might it not be best to go ahead and have the child before at least one of the parents goes off to war and gets killed. Because in this case, if they had not had a child, both would have died childless. Or if Tonks had stayed behind and Lupin was killed, Tonks would never have had a child by him - too late. My only personal question was whether it was wise for Tonks to leave the child at home and follow Lupin into battle after she originally told Lupin she would stay and protect the child. I think Tonks was overwhelmed with fear over something happening to Lupin; also, she probably second guessed her decision to stay behind and not help; and she felt the child would be okay with Tonk's mother. So....there is no right answer, is there?

[merrymarge]

I look at it this way, today, in America's military, we have men and women who are married who are fighting somewhere, possibly in a war zone. They have children. We wonder how they could have chilren if they are in the military fighting in war. Sometimes, they are part of a second marriage. One or both parents had children by a previous spouse.
I don't think Tonks and Remus were irresponsible. If anything, they were heroic, first in wanting their son to grow up in a world without Voldemort and second by naming Harry his godfather. Harry and Andromeda would do their best to let Teddy know who his parents were.

[asdfasdf17]

In some ways it was irresponsible of them to go to the Battle of Hogwarts knowing that it was a battle and anyone could die. They should have thought of Teddy, that he could end up an orphan.

At the same time, I don't think they fought it the Battle to show off their bravery/nobility. Like Remus said, they were trying to make the world a better place for their son. Maybe they felt it was their responsibility to fight in the Battle if it would help defeat Voldemort/DEs. I mean, who would want their child to be raised up in a world where Voldemort existed?

Personally, I think at least one parent should have stayed behind because it would secure the possiblity that Teddy would have at least one parent. And parents are important, obviously.
Maybe Remus and Tonks didn't think too much about themselves getting killed, which I guess would be irresponsible. They did know that there was Andromeda who could take care of Teddy but I wonder if she was too old by than? Possibly they talked about the risk of both of them dying and Andromeda has said she'd take care of Teddy (although I'm sure she'd have taken care of him anyway).
Also, Harry was the godfather but they shouldn't have relied on him taking care of Teddy because he was also part of the Battle and he could have died too.