Funniest lines in the films

[JustAnIllusion]

Originally Posted by sticky

Ron: Spiders, they want me to tapdance, i don't want to tapdance...
Harry: You tell those spiders ron
Ron: Yeah i'll tell them...i'll tell them...*snores*

That's definitely my favorite line in the entire series... it makes it all worthwhile

That and, in CoS:

"Read?
...I didn't know you could read."

Tom Felton is absolute perfection.

[opaleye]

That's the first thing that come's to mind for me too!
"Read?
...I didn't know you could read."

I die laughing every time I see Draco say that.

[X_luna_x]

the one where draco tells goyle:
"if you were any more stupid. you'd be walking backward!"
or something like that...lol
and...
Mollyabout ron getting prefect: ooohh...that everyone if the familly!!!
fred: what are george and i? next door neighbors?!?!

and...where hermione is talking about all chos feelings and ron like" no one can feel all that at once...they'll explode.."
and she says: just beacsue you got the emotional range of a teaspoon!!"

oh and...
in the first book when their in the devils snare and they trying to fight it...
hermione: we need light!
Ron: so light a fire!
hermione: but theres no wood!
ron:ARE YOU WITCH OR NOT!?!?!?

LOL...HILARIOUS!!

[Mad_Druid]

Malfoy: You're going to regret this.
Hagrid: Class dismissed.
Malfoy: You and your bloody chicken!

[LoonyMagic]

Originally Posted by opaleye

That's the first thing that come's to mind for me too!
"Read?
...I didn't know you could read."

I die laughing every time I see Draco say that.

I totally agree! I crack up with laughter whenever I watch this part. Definitely a highlight in CoS for me.

[IenjoyAcidPops]

I'll stick to lines that come from the movies, because otherwise we have JKR to thank:

(Sorcerer's Stone)
Hermione: "It'll transform any metal into pure gold, and produces the Elixir of Life, which will make the drinker immortal".
Ron: "Immortal?"
Hermione: "It means you never die".
Ron: "I know what it means!"


I]Sorcerer's Stone[/i])
Hermione: "If you don't it'll ony kill you faster".
Ron: "Kill us faster? Oh now I can relax!"

(Chamber of Secrets)
Malfoy: "Read?..I didn't know you could read".
(A popular one, and rightly so. Tom's delivery is perfect. )

(Prisoner of Azkaban)
Ron: "Spiders! Spiders, they..they want me to tapdance...I don't want to tapdance".
Harry: "You tell those spiders, Ron".
Ron: "Tell..I'll tell them...*snoring*".
(Same as above, really. Dan and Rupert never fail to crack me up here. )

(Chamber of Secrets)
Hermione: "Look at my face".
Ron: "Look at your tail".

(Goblet of Fire)
Neville: "Oh my god! I've killed Harry Potter!"

(Goblet of Fire)
Ron: "There she was walking by...you know how I like it when they walk."
(Dan gives a hilarious nod of recognition here, too.)

(Goblet of Fire)
Ron: "I couldn't help it; it just sort of slipped out".
Ginny: "Actually, he sort of screamed at her. It was a bit frightening".

(Goblet of Fire)
Cedric: "How-how are you?"
Harry: "Spectacular".

There may be more, but that's all I can think of at the moment. (Probably plenty, actually.)

[JustAnIllusion]

Originally Posted by IenjoyAcidPops

(Sorcerer's Stone)
Hermione: "It'll transform any metal into pure gold, and produces the Elixir of Life, which will make the drinker immortal".
Ron: "Immortal?"
Hermione: "It means you never die".
Ron: "I know what it means!"

I forgot about that one. I remember when Movie Hermione was Book Hermione, rather than a poor adaption. Oh, how I miss those days

(Prisoner of Azkaban)
Ron: "Spiders! Spiders, they..they want me to tapdance...I don't want to tapdance".
Harry: "You tell those spiders, Ron".
Ron: "Tell..I'll tell them...*snoring*".
(Same as above, really. Dan and Rupert never fail to crack me up here. )

Ron: "There she was walking by...you know how I like it when they walk." (Dan gives a hilarious nod of recognition here, too.) "I couldn't help it; it just sort of slipped out".
Ginny: "Actually, he sort of screamed at her. It was a bit frightening".

Shows the talent of Miss Bonnie. I'm looking forward to her character actually getting some lines. I'm sure we'll get loads more funny lines.

(Goblet of Fire)
Cedric: "How-how are you?"
Harry: "Spectacular".

I do love me some Cedric...

[IenjoyAcidPops]

Originally Posted by Fawkesfan1

[after the dragon has run into the teachers stand]
Fred: [yelling] Well done dragon!

Wow, I don't remember ever hearing that one! I'll definitely listen harder on my next viewing.

Professor McGonagall: Professor Moody! Is that a student?
Professor Moody: Technically, it's a ferret

I forgot about that one! Brendan Gleeson and Maggie Smith really are just so good.

Originally Posted by JustAnIllusion

Shows the talent of Miss Bonnie. I'm looking forward to her character actually getting some lines. I'm sure we'll get loads more funny lines.

I think in CoS and GoF she actually got the right amount of material, but I agree with you. Bonnie is really good and I look forward to her expanded role. In terms of lines, I hope they leave in that little bit about the hippogriff tattoo.

[sticky]

i like it in COS when Harry and Ron are looking at Hermione as a cat:
Ron: look at her tail!!
it just seems like a ron thing to do....however i always sing in my head: Lil Chris Adapted version of checking it out...Che che che checking her out...ohhhhhhh takign my chances....che che che checking her out... sorry....just had to share

[GrangerHermione]

Ron: "Can we panic now?" - CoS - Rupert's face is hilarious!

Draco: "I didn't know you could read." - CoS. - Great delivery from Tom!

Bellatrix: "How's mum and dad?"
Neville: "Better now they're about to be avenged!" - OotP

Filch: "My cat has been petrified. I wanna see some punishment!" - CoS

Dumbledore: "Alas! Earwax!" - SS/PS

Dumbledore: "Did what? Good night." - PoA

Umbridge: "You first tried for the Defense Against the Dark Arts post?"
Snape: "Yes."
Umbridge: "But you were unsuccessful?"
Snape: "Obviously." - OotP

Luna: "I suspect Nargles are behind it." -OotP

More later!

[mariebeth83]

Originally Posted by GrangerHermione

Umbridge: "You first tried for the Defense Against the Dark Arts post?"
Snape: "Yes."
Umbridge: "But you were unsuccessful?"
Snape: "Obviously." - OotP

He he he I love that one, it made me laugh just reading it here!

[JustAnIllusion]

Originally Posted by mariebeth83

He he he I love that one, it made me laugh just reading it here!

Me too! Gahh, Alan Rickman is so perfect

[IenjoyAcidPops]

I thought about posting the "Obviously" line, but it's just that the line itself is only okay; it's Rickman's delivery that turns it into a comic highlight of the whole series.

[ginny88]

In COS - Ron: Eat slug!

And it backfired, and he's vomitting those things, I find this hilarious, Rupert's acting is excellent

[imacheeto]

The one w/ Hermione and Grawp that was mentioned earlier.
"IIIIIIIII KILLLEDD SIIIIIRRRRIIIUSSS BLAAAAACK!"

[GrangerHermione]

I just remembered some funny lines from PoA:

-"Poor Professor Lupin's having a really tough night."-Harry

-"My, dear, from the moment you walked in, I knew that you didn't possess the Sight."
*reads palm and points*
"You see, there. Ah, you may be young in years, but your heart is as shrivelled as an old maid's. Your soul is as dry as the pages of the books to which you so desperately cleave."
*pats hand* Hermione storms out.
"Have I said something?"

Emma Thompson is amazing.

[Tantan]

"I KILLED SIRIUS BLACK!"

"Ron, do you ever stop eating?"

"You've got to admit, Dumbledore's got style."

I LOVE THIS LINE IN PRISONER OF AZKABAN:

"House cleaning!"
And then the door opens and something growls at her and the wind blows her and then she says:
"I'll come back later."

That always cracks me up.

[GrangerHermione]

Originally Posted by Tantan

"I KILLED SIRIUS BLACK!"

"Ron, do you ever stop eating?"

"You've got to admit, Dumbledore's got style."

I LOVE THIS LINE IN PRISONER OF AZKABAN:

"House cleaning!"
And then the door opens and something growls at her and the wind blows her and then she says:
"I'll come back later."

That always cracks me up.

I'd forgotton about those! They are so funny!

[popcornzyum]

Originally Posted by Tantan

"House cleaning!"
And then the door opens and something growls at her and the wind blows her and then she says:
"I'll come back later."

That always cracks me up.

Definitely That never fails to get a laugh out of me

Hermione: "It's a cat, Ronald! What do you expect? It's in his nature."
Ron: "A cat? Is that what they told you? It looks more like a pig with hair if you ask me." !

[Drusilla]

Umbridge: "You first tried for the Defense Against the Dark Arts post?"
Snape: "Yes."
Umbridge: "But you were unsuccessful?"
Snape: "Obviously." - OotP

that was just brilliant. Rickman and Staunton just made that scene..

Also

Hermione: "Grawp. Put. Me Down. (slight pause) Now."

Emma's delivery of that line was just perfect.

Also

Hermione: "Grawp. Put. Me Down. (slight pause) Now."

Emma's delivery of that line was just perfect.