Petunia and Harry: Who expected more?

[ShadowSonic]

Also, maybe we should take Vernon's influence into this. Possibly he amplified her own feelings on the matter.

Still, for Petunia to show such apathy over he sister's death...it's a little disturbing.

[HRW]

Originally Posted by cool_chick_div

I think Dudley remained on Christmas card terms with Harry.

I understand Petunia's position. I really do, but I think she should have learnt to let go of her grudge. I see it similar to Snape's grudge. They both could not let go of what happened and it affected Harry who was innocent in it. In both cases Harry is a representation of Lily and James. The main difference is that Snape was redeemed. Petunia was not redeemed. It was more personal since it was her sister, so it would hurt her more. Every time she sees Harry she is reminded that she was second best and not special like her sister. It sucks but it is no reason to take it out on Harry. I think she did it to also prevent Dudley from feeling the way she did. That's why she spoiled him so much. I think jealousy can be very destructive.

Agreed with the Snape comparison, perfect comparison. But I would argue that Snape keeping Harry safe is quite similar to Petunia allowing Harry to stay at Privet drive. Snape didn't want anything to do with Harry but he did it out of love for Lily. Same goes for Petunia imo. On some level she must have loved Lily and kept Harry in her house knowing that perhaps that was the only thing keeping him alive.

[HedwigOwl]

Originally Posted by HRW

Agreed with the Snape comparison, perfect comparison. But I would argue that Snape keeping Harry safe is quite similar to Petunia allowing Harry to stay at Privet drive. Snape didn't want anything to do with Harry but he did it out of love for Lily. Same goes for Petunia imo. On some level she must have loved Lily and kept Harry in her house knowing that perhaps that was the only thing keeping him alive.

Nice comparison, I think that's a good observation. Neither Snape nor Petunia were able to really move on, but both took on some responsiblity in Lily's memory (though neither cared about Harry per se).

[Lillielle]

I would have liked more, but I didn't expect it. I agree about Petunia not hating Harry for himself, I think it is all that he represents, but it's sad that she couldn't ever get over it and appreciate her nephew for his own sake. I'd like to think that later on, Harry and Dudley do keep in touch, and maybe then, when they're all adults and the war is over, maybe Petunia can actually...not reconcile with him exactly, but maybe even just talk with him. Something like that. (Although I can't see Vernon being happy with even that much, so...)

[BubblyShell22]

I wasn't sure what to expect, but I hoped that she'd at least say something to the effect of, "Be safe" or "Good luck." But for her not to say anything suits her because she just can't bring herself to really go there. At least Dudley was strong enough to really show his true feelings and at least make up with his cousin. But maybe later on, Petunia did reconcile with Harry, though I know Vernon probably didn't.

[merrymarge]

Until The "Prince's Tale" I blamed Vernon for the way Petunia treated Harry. I thought that Petunia would accept Harry for being magical but Vernon hated the fact and Petunia had to respect Vernon's opinion. However, in the "Prince's Tale", we see Petunia was jealous from an early age, before she met Vernon.
But sometimes, I think Petunia mourned for Lily, at least when she was alone, because she didn't want Vernon to think less of her.
The fact that she couldn't even say good-bye to Harry shows how deep her hatred was. As for contacting Harry, Jo only mentioned that Harry and Dudley exchanged Christmas cards and Harry occasionally brought his family for visits.

[ShadowSonic]

I did like how the movie did have Petunia manage to say one nice thing to Harry in DH, even if it got deleted.

[Temery]

I was expecting more from Petunia. Stories about Grandma and Grandpa, stories about her and Lilly, even stories that made her look good and them bad, something. As an Auntie myself I have never liked the way Petunia was written mostly bc I could just not relate to her at all as a fellow Auntie. And I'm sorry but hubby/Vernon be darned, I love my husband but if ever treated my nephew even close to that there would be more than words exchanged in my house but he never ever would so I don't have to go there =)

[cool_chick_div]

I must admit. Even with the jealousy I did not feel that was so much to override sisterly love. I found that hard to believe. Yes, you get angry/jealous at your loved ones you yell scream and rant to them but at the end of the day you still love them. Maybe its that little love that allowed her to take Harry in and seal the blood magic. Maybe she did grieve for Lily while she was alone. Who knows?

In DH I felt that she went for so long hating magic and those who are magical that she could not let her love show. But I'd like to believe that somewhere deep down she did feel something that left her looking back at him before leaving. It was probably in the last look.

[BrightestWitch]

As I recall in the fifth book, there is a moment where the Dursley family and Harry were talking about dementors and what happened with Dudley, when Petunia let something slip about knowing about the dementors. As I reread that scene with knowledge of Snape's tale, I realized that Petunia hadn't forgotten about the talks Snape and Lily had. She said "I heard-that awful boy- telling her about them- years ago." Harry thought that she was talking about James, but she was talking about Snape. A couple pages later I read " and all of a sudden, for the first time in his very life, Harry fully appreciated that Aunt Petunia was his mother's sister." I feel like those to scenes were the only ones that showed Harry a new part of Aunt Petunia, and a connection.

I wasn't really expecting another connection between Aunt Petunia and Harry, but I was hoping for one. I felt like J.K. Rowling did a very good job with the connection between Dudley and Harry. if I had to ask about one member of the Dursleys, it would be Vernon, they never showed a soft of likable side to him, which I had kind of wished there was, just so I could understand him.

[ShadowSonic]

That may be why JK Rowling mainly wrote from Harry's POV. She was probably scared that if she ever wrote from the POVs of antagonistic characters (Draco, Bellatrix, Vernon, etc) that we might be more "understanding" or even sympathize with them and she didn't want that.

Unfortunately, it happened anyways.

[Rookie_Angel]

I'm not sure it was "unfortunate" or that the level to which most readers had some sympathy for imperfect characters was unintended. I think one of the amazing things about her writing is that the characters really come alive and even fantastic characters like elves, giants, and wizards who speak to snakes and seem like real people who live down the block and live imperfect lives and have backgrounds good, bad and indifferent that led them to where they are. Like real people one knows or knows of, even the villains don't think of themselves as villains, but see their actions as perfectly right under the circumstances.

While I realize that there is a fraction of the fandom that sometimes seems to over-abundantly glorify some of the less savory characters to what seems to some to be an extreme extent, I think the great majority of the bell curve, from what I've seen, have only a small degree of understanding or sympathy--if any--for characters like Lucius, Umbridge, Bellatrix and the Dursleys, and only a moderate amount for characters like Snape, Draco, Narcissa, who have a few redeeming qualities here and there among the worse ones.

Petunia is one of the latter, I think. She sometimes evokes a minor degree of sympathy for how her childhood hurts deeply affected her, but not too much by most people I don't think, under the circumstances, given how she let it affect her treatment of Harry. And I think that the fact that she didn't ever make too much progress back in the other direction at the end is one reason for that.

But no, I don't think the imperfect characters being written as real and human with background stories that make their motivations somewhat understandable is a bad side effect. I think it takes a really good author to make the audience somewhat understanding of mean and thoughtless characters, and that this is not a mistake.