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Old September 9th, 2005, 7:48 pm
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Sixth Year
Joined: 5745 days
Location: in Snape's mind
Age: 44
Posts: 1,362

Hey guys!
This is a working title and the first chapter of my first fanfiction. I've never thought I can be so crazy to write this sort of stuff!!! read and say how you liked it, please

„I have no idea how you make these excellent potions, Evans!”, said James Potter, looking admirably at Lily first, then at the violet potion she had just made, “You’re brilliant! Brilliant and pretty... come on, go out with me”.
“No way”, Lily answered impatiently, stirring the potion in her cauldron, “Forget it!”
“Why?”, asked James impatiently, “Why do you always refuse? Why do you think that I’m worse than other boys? What have I done wrong?”
“If you don’t understand this, that’s your problem”, Lily said, “And now forgive me and shut up, will you? I’ve just stirred it one time too much”.
“Still it’s the best potion in the whole class, Miss Evans!”, Horace Slughorn said, dwelling with pride, “Lily! You make the greatest potions even when you make mistakes! What an unbelievable potion-maker you are! It’s a very, very good Sleep Potion indeed!”, he was talking while checking other students’ potions.
“Oh, here we have the potion which is almost as good as yours. Severus, you did well, boy! I’d add a little bit more of wormwood here, but well done, Severus, well done! Also Sirius made a satisfactory one. The rest of you must improve. I suggest writing an essay with pointing out all mistakes you’ve made and please give me the corked bottles with your potions now!”, Slughorn ordered. “The lesson’s over, but you three, Evans, Snape and Black stay, I have something to tell you”.
Students were going out of the dungeons quickly: they were hungry, rushing off for dinner. Lily left her cauldron and went straight to the Slughorn’s desk. Sirius Black and Severus Snape joined slowly. It was widely known that they hated each other. Sirius was in the Griffindor house like Lily, but Severus was a Slytherin. Griffindors hated Slytherins as they thought that the Slytherins aren’t honest and always think how to win, no matter what the costs are. Lily knew that James Potter, Sirius Black, Remus Lupin and Peter Pettigrew- a bunch of good friends- were often hexing Severus, and he was trying to pay them off: Sometimes it worked, sometimes not. It was too difficult for poor Snivellus -as the boys called him- to win, because there were four of them and Snivellus was one. Almost every student at school thought that it was a strange boy, this Severus.. James, Sirius, Remus and Peter, who were hanging out together, were popular and adored. Girls often fancied both of them. Nothing strange: they were both handsome and popular.
“The three of you made the best potions”, the teacher said. “I think that I can make a contest between you three, you’re my favourite students in the fifth year, oh yes, you are! You’re brilliant! I guess that you can agree to make a potion you haven’t made yet, can’t you? And there will be a prize for you, of course!”
Lily glanced at Sirius, who looked quite interested and smiled at her. Then she looked at Severus, who seemed to be very interested and animated. He was looking straight at his teacher.
“What kind of potion will it be?”, asked, and then looked provocatively at Lily as if he was sure that she’ll be the one who will have to take the challenge. He omitted Sirius as if he didn’t exist.
“And what can we expect the prize to be, I wonder”, said Sirius lazily, as if he didn’t care.
“I usually give my best students a Felix Felicis potion for their personal use”, Slughorn responded, “But they have to be six-years. As I didn’t have anybody in my six-year’s classes who would be as talented as you three, I decided that you’ll get the chance. Do you know what the Felix Felicis potion is?”- he asked.
“It’s a potion who makes you lucky and it takes six months to brew, it’s incredibly hard to make it”, Severus responded quickly and glanced at Sirius, who seemed to be bored still, and continued “You need many ingredients. It also can make you an addict and if you drink too much of it, it can cause a serious damage to your brain”.
“Great, Severus!”, Horace clapped his chubby hands, “Lily, haven’t you known about this?”
“No, Professor”, Lily blushed.
“But you’re such an excellent potion-maker - “
“If you say so, Professor...”, Lily answered, “But I’m a Muggle-born, I can’t know everything that others know”.
“A sharp answer, Evans, and clever indeed. You’re right, I won’t argue, I won’t argue! So: brew the best Shrinking Potion you can do and bring it to me next Monday into my office. You know you’re invited to the party I’m preparing... There will be a Minister of Magic Transport and many other prominent people... I have to introduce you, you’re very, very talented, yes, you are! You may use the dungeon room to brew the potion. Now excuse me...”, Slughorn left the dungeon.
“Another piece of homework...”, Lily said, “Thank God the potion is quite easy to brew...”
“Speak for yourself”, Sirius sighed, “I’m not that excellent as he thinks, you’re a different case”.
“So we’ll have to do it here... I think I’ll do this potion on Sunday, I have plenty of Charms and Transfiguration to practise”- she said absent-mindedly. “The prize seems nice too”.
“Oh, I’d love to have this Felix potion!”, Sirius became more agitated, “Just think what I could do with Snivellus then!”, he added maliciously.
“Then I’ll do my best so that you wouldn’t get it”, Severus said and started going out of the dungeon.
“Maybe you’re a bit better than me in Potions but you can’t fight, Snivellus!” Sirius shouted and Snape looked back, looking furious.
“Oh yeah? How’s it like when you fight four on one, I wonder? Don’t force me to fight one on one with you, I’d suggest that”.
“Stop it!” Lily said angrily, but Snape had been already outside.
“OK, OK, I’m quiet... He just makes me furious... It’s something about him I can’t even tell”.
“And you’re making me furious, Sirius, judging a boy you don’t know well!”, Lily barked, cleaned her cauldron and went out of the classroom too.

She was so excited that she had a chance of winning this Felix Felicis that she couldn’t eat much. Her two best friends, Angela Burbank and Octavia Shacklebolt were surprised:
“I’ve heard about the Felix thingie”, Octavia informed her, “Slughorn gave this potion to this Rosier guy and you know what Rosier did? He’s so stupid... He drank the whole bottle at once, without thinking! If I were him, I’d keep it, you’ll never know what will happen...”
“Yeah, you’ll never know...”, Lily repeated, thinking about sudden disappearances of some people she knew. It had something to do with this Dark Wizard who called himself Lord Voldemort.
“I’ve heard that the guy who sells wands.... Olivier? Olavender? –“, started Angela.
“Olivander”, Lily helped her, “What about him?”
“He just disappeared... And they say that his shop was a mess. Wands lying everywhere. I don’t know... He looks a bit scary, isn’t he? I’ve always thought that he can be a Dark Wizard...”, Angela continued, but someone broke this conversation.
“He can be a Dark Wizard, you know. He could do this mess on purpose”, said James Potter, who was passing them by and apparently overhearing their conversation.
“Come on, James, you are too suspicious”, Lily answered angrily, “And you were overhearing!”
“I’m always interested what you’re talking about, Evans. I’d like to know what you’re thinking of, what you do, I’d like to know your dreams...”
“My dream for now is: go away! Don’t you know people hate when somebody overhears you?”
“Oh, I see that I’d better learn Legilimency to know your feelings well”, James answered with laughter, his eyes became sad, though.
“Legi- what?”, Lily asked, surprised.
“It’s a kind of reading minds”, James answered, “You know I would be able to learn this, Evans...”
“Oh, yes, you would... and now go away, please. I’ve got to talk to my friends”.
James went to the Griffindor table and sat in the middle of Sirius Black and Remus Lupin, who was looking a bit unhealthy that day- his complexion became greyish and had this tired look.
“Why don’t you go out with James?”, asked Angela for a one thousand two hundred and fifth time, “If I were you...”
“But you aren’t”, Lily answered categorically, “I don’t know why you all are so in love with him. He’s such an arrogant jerk. Quidditch, only quidditch that counts the most. He thinks he’s such a shining star on his broomstick. He’s too arrogant, no, I can’t stand it”.
“I’d have a date with him if he was interested...”, Terra said dreamily, “Sirius is very good-looking too. Who would you date, Lily?”
“At this time nobody”, Lily sighed, “I’ve got other interesting things to do...”
“Attention, please!”- the sudden loud words broke students’ conversations, “The Headmaster wants to announce something very important”.
Everybody except few Slytherins were looking at Professor Albus Dumbledore. Silence was astounding.
“I won’t be bothering you by long talking. I just want you to know that people who call themselves the Death Eaters are still on the loose and are near Hogwarts at the moment. Unfortunately I can’t let you to go to Hogsmeade next week as it’s too dangerous. I hope you all can understand my decision. That’s all. Thank you”.
Suddenly the air was filled with surprised and disappointed whispers: “No Hogsmeade? No Hogsmeade?”, “Oh nooo! Where can I buy the sugar quill?”, “Nooo, it’s the only thing that keeps me alive, I’m half dead of studying!!!”
Lily became furious. Don’t they have enough brain to understand? She stood up and bellowed: “Are you all nuts?! What have you expected? They say they kill people-literally! They say that using the Unforgivable Curses isaseasyforthemaskillingafly!!!”, she linked the last words together, this fast her speech was. Everybody was silent and stunned. She looked around and felt stupid. James looked at her with his mouth open and showed her his thumb up. Rawenclaws and Hufflepuffs sat like numb.
She heard a quiet: “She’s right, people” which came from a Griffindor table. It was spoken by James Potter. She smiled at him and heard another comment: “Of course everybody has to know an opinion of a celebrity”. She looked back. It was Snape.
“Five points from Griffindor for shouting instead of saying your opinion in a normal voice”, Professor Mc Gonagall decided, “Also ten points for your understanding of the problem, Miss Evans, I think it’s a decent decision of mine”.
“An excellent one, Minerva”, Dumbledore nodded approvingly.
Lily looked around again. Slytherins were angry, commenting the decision in a very quiet voices. Amycus showed her his middle finger. Severus Snape was looking at her as if he was quite positively surprised, though. He had a faint smile on his face. She didn’t know why; everybody knew that he loved the Dark Arts, so he should be satisfied that people who like the same subject he did are around Hogwarts, but she thought that students can be wrong: gossips aren’t reliable source of information and she knew Severus better than they thought she did. He was her neighbour: when they weren’t studying at Hogwarts, they both lived in the street called “The Spinner’s End”.
Griffindors started clapping, but they were the only ones who did it. They felt proud of their head-girl. Students from the other houses were still a bit stunned at the idea of taking the favourite entertainment away from them.
When Lily was lying in her bed that night, she knew that she had to do her best to win the Felix Felicis. There were so many possibilities in which she could use that potion... Bad times were approaching quickly, she could feel it. Death was in the air.

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Old September 11th, 2005, 1:25 pm
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allegro  Female.gif allegro is offline
Sixth Year
Joined: 5745 days
Location: in Snape's mind
Age: 44
Posts: 1,362
Unfortunately I see no comments But here I go with another part about our Lily, Marauders and Snape:


Time was passing by quickly and Sunday came faster than Lily could even think. Professor McGonagall, the head of the Griffindor house, was as harsh as ever or even more: she ordered the class to learn how to transfigure a cup into a butterfly properly till Monday and they had lots of trouble with it. In fact, Frank Longbottom made a big mess in the common room, when he tried to conjure the butterfly: he swished his wand so unfortunately while saying the incantation that he caused Alice to fly in the air for a minute or two. He didn’t make a butterfly of her, of course, but the Griffindors who were sitting in the room at that time were laughing so hard that all of them had their bellies aching. In fact, Frank was good in Transfiguration and Lily was amazed that he had caused such a disaster.
There wasn’t only Transfiguration... Professor Binns, who was as boring as ever, told them to write an six-inch essay on Goblins’ rebellions. The history of magic wasn’t Lily’s favourite subject, so she was bored and sleepy when she was writing. Angela and Terra were annoyed too.
“Do you know whom I’d like to date?”, Angela asked dreamily.
“Whom? Isn’t it that Barty dude? Don’t say you’ve changed your preferences again!”, Lily answered, laughing hard. She knew that Angela fancied boys all the time and there was a different boy each week.
“I’d like to go out with Rodolphus Lestrange”, she answered with her eyes closed and a rather stupid smile on her face.
“Are you kidding? He’s from Slytherin!”, Terra was apparently angry.
“So what?”, Lily and Angela answered both simultaneously.
“Why do you say so what?”, Terra said, looking sulky.
‘I don’t care that much about the houses”, Angela answered, “Rodolphus is handsome enough and he’s cute, he’s a smart and clever guy too. What’s the matter with you? Has he done something evil to you?”
Terra shook her head.
“So you see that you shouldn’t look at the house, that’s what the Sorting Hat said at the beginning of the school year anyway”, Lily said, “Besides, I can feel that not every single Slytherin is bad... There are horrible ones, of course, take this Amycus or Avery for example... Or some really stupid girls like Narcissa and Bellatrix, they think they are better ‘cause they are Pure Bloods, as if it was their merit!”, she said angrily, “You can’t say that someone is bad if you haven’t seen him being truly evil”.
“I guess you are right, Lily”, Terra answered and they continued writing.
“Hey, girls, have you heard about Snape?”, Frank joined their table, “The latest news?”
“No, we haven’t”, answered Lily, looking curious, “What happened?”
“Really? You haven’t? Too much studying for you, it seems. Everybody was laughing! Somebody must have added the Sleep Potion to old Sev’s drink, because he was sleeping so hard that he had no idea where he’d been or what had been done to him for hours. Then he was found by this little Regulus Black, you know who I mean... you know where? He was lying on the floor in the girls’ bathroom, dressed in girls’ clothes! Regulus tried to undress him, he brought the robes and everything but he didn’t have enough time. That Andromeda from Hufflepuff, you know her, Bellatrix and Hestia Jones came to the bathroom, and they almost burst from laugh! Can you imagine Snivellus wearing black girly pants, a red flowery bra and stockings?!”
“My God...”, Lily said shocked, “Again? That’s not fair...”
“Wait, wait...”, Angela was thinking loudly, “Did you say: a red flowery bra? I couldn’t find my bra yesterday!”
Girls stood up quickly. “Let’s check it!”, Terra said and they went straight to the girls’ dormitory. Terra put her right hand into the suitcase lying on the floor and started throwing everything out, “Of course! There’s no bra, there are no pants and stockings!”
“And I know who did it”, said Lily, and they three looked at one another shouting simultaneously: “Potter and Black!”
“Oh no, I’ve had enough of this!”, Lily burst with anger, “They always fight and fight and I’m sick of it! It’s just... sick, they are sick, to do something like that! I’ll talk to them!” she said furiously and went out of the room as fast as she could.
“There’s no chance of going out with Sirius then”, Terra said, sounding disappointed, “He won’t look at us anymore. Lily can be a real hell if she wants!”.

“Get up, Potter!”, Lily ordered, “I want to talk to you!”
“To me? Whenever you want, even at three o’ clock at night, Evans”, James answered, looking happily at the girl, “You’re always welcome. Where will we go? Hogwarts grounds, perhaps?”
“You’ll see”, she pulled the left sleeve of his robes, “Come on, now!!!’
“She’s cute, isn’t she? And how dominant she is, I like it”, James grinned, looking straight at the Marauders, as they were calling themselves: James, Sirius, Remus and Peter, “Don’t wait for me!”, waved at them and disappeared.
They went to the Griffindor common room. Lily dragged him to the centre of it and shouted: “Everybody, look at him!”
There were about eleven people in the room. They stopped talking and stared at Lily.
“What would our prefect Perfect like to shout out loud again?”, Sirius asked, grinning. He didn’t wait for James, nor did Remus and Peter. They stood behind Lily, listening with a visible interest.
“I want you to know that it was he who put a Sleeping Potion into Snape’s drink! Do you think it’s fair?!”
“How do you know it was me, Evans?”, James said, blushing, with his hand ruffling his black hair, “I thought we are to go out for a walk...”
“You thought wrong, then! I’m not blind, something clicked in my head! YOU STOLE A BIT OF MY POTION WHEN I WASN’T LOOKING AND POURED IT TO THE SEVERUS’S DRINK!”, Lily was red with rage.
“You may shout at me, you’re looking even prettier when you do this- if it’s possible to look prettier in your case- but it wasn’t me who did it”, James answered looking stupid, “It was Wormtail who nicked a bit when you went to sit in front of Slughorn. But I admit, we did it. We dressed Snivellus like a girl, did you like it?”, he asked the students with hope.
“He looked smashing”, Hestia giggled, “Like a transvestite”. Another giggle.
“Potter, are you and your friends that stupid that you can’t imagine how he could feel?”, Lily asked.
“Why don’t you ask what he did to us? It was he who blocked our tongues during Potions, I swear! Me and Sirius couldn’t speak for the rest of the lesson and for a part of another! We are to do additional homework because of it! It’s not fair too, is it?”
Lily hesitated, then said: “I don’t know why you hate each other so much”.
“Why?”, sighed James, “It’s hard to explain, you know. Do you like him? He’s a weirdo, always with his nose in the Dark Arts books”.
“Maybe he is. But you’re not better hexing him ten times a day and-”, Lily answered, shaking her head as her fringe fell into her eyes.
“Lily, you must know that Severus isn’t that saint either”, Remus Lupin interfered, “He can do such hexes and knows such incantations which can make you-“
“Remus, you’re a prefect. You know that you should’ve stopped Potter, then. I don’t understand why you didn’t do that. What you did was just... too cruel. Thank God that three girls only saw this!”
“Come on, Lily, let go”, Terra asked, glancing at Sirius so quickly, that it looked as if she had a wall-eye.
“Yeah, Lily”, Hestia joined, “The boys have to defend themselves! Snape isn’t all fun and games. You’ve told him what you think, let go”.
Lily thought for a while and then said: “Remember, James. If I see you doing such a humiliating thing again, I’ll report to McGonagall. Now leave us alone, the date is over. Go and join your mates. I’m sure you have interesting things to do, for example hexing somebody you can’t stand”.
“I could change for you if you wanted, you know this, Lily-“, James said quietly but she didn’t let him finish:
“You should change for yourself, not for me”, the girl said and left.
“Come on, James, tell us about Griffindor’s strategy in the next Quidditch match”, asked Augustus Pye, and James smiled, looking slightly happier. Soon the room was filled with excited talks about Slytherins and their Quidditch weaknesses.

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Old September 13th, 2005, 11:04 am
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allegro  Female.gif allegro is offline
Sixth Year
Joined: 5745 days
Location: in Snape's mind
Age: 44
Posts: 1,362
I'm feeling a bit like writing to nobody except me - what is strange, because it's a huge forum...


Lily Evans looked absent-mindedly at her watch and jumped.
“Ah! It’s about time to go to the dungeons! I’ve almost forgotten! I have to do the potion for Slughorn!”, she cried and rushed off, taking her Potions book with her in such a hurry that she threw off Angela’s cat, sitting on it. The cat hissed dangerously and lay on her bed instead. The girl was running fast, her red, thick hair flowing in the air behind her. She was thinking about practicing of Transfiguration for McGonagall after making the potion. Gosh, such a plenty of work to do, on and on!
She ran the dark corridor, passed Professor Augustus Moody, who was teaching the Defence Against the Dark Arts, and burst into the room, where they were taught Potions. She closed the door, put the book on the table and lit the fire beneath the cauldron.
Lily jumped. It was a jumping day, it seemed. Snape was sitting on a chair hidden in twilight.
“Snape? I didn’t know you were here, I’ve almost got a heart attack”, she explained a bit shyly.
“It’s said that Griffindors are brave”, Snape’s lips curled in something that resembled a light smile.
“They are. Slytherins can be brave, too”, Lily admitted honestly, looked at ingredients written in her book and started taking out them of her ingredients set.
“You are right”, he said, standing up to his feet and preparing his ingredients too, “You showed you can express your opinions without fear. That dinner. Dumbledore”.
Lily looked a bit surprised:
“Er- thanks. It’s nice to hear these words coming from the Slytherin’s mouth”, she smiled.
“I am not stupid, Evans, remember that. Even if a certain group of people tries to make me look like one”, Severus answered and opened his book.
“Have you seen Sirius Black?”, she asked sounding a bit confused, “I wonder if he’s done his potion yet”.
“I’m afraid that you won’t meet your friend here for a next few hours. The three of them were rewarded with a detention. Professor Moody said they were to go to his office at quarter past four, so if you aren’t scared of an odd Slytherin, we’ll be alone”, answered Snape, his lips curling into a faint, bitter smile.
“Don’t joke, Severus, maybe we aren’t friends but I know you a bit and you’ve never done any harm to me”, Lily said absent-mindedly, cutting little green beans and putting them inside the cauldron, “What would you do if you won the award?”
“Oh, I have some ideas. They are- ah- excuse me, I’d rather not to talk about them”, Severus answered and his eyes became suddenly very distant, as if he made a barrier which nobody can cross. Then he glanced at the red steam above his cauldron and compared it to Lily’s work, “Why do I have a red steam, when it should be purple, I wonder. What do you do that you brew such perfect potions? You know, I’m more advanced in potions than anybody could think, but you do beat me...yours are just better, you make them with a kind of... passion? Intuition?- whatever is the most suitable word”.
“I simply love this work. Potions are my favourite subject, I really enjoy brewing, I feel as if I conjured something what can change people’s lives, what can influence it. It’s a powerful branch of magic. And you know what? I think that some recipes from the books we learn – er- you may change them a bit, add some more or less ingredients, yo can stir it in a different way... I guess I like changes, creating something new, a bit different smell, a bit different look and the result of using it is still the same”, Lily laughed.
Severus was looking at her, listening carefully. His eyes met and after a quite a long time filled with embarrassing silence, he said:
“I can appreciate when people are creative, even Griffindors. I am not stupid. I can tell you- I am creative like you...”
“Well?”, Lily seemed interested, “What do you do? I was told you’re good in it”
“I invent spells. I invent incantations, hexes and so on. They work”, he told her proudly, “I can show you when we finish”.
Lily agreed. They were working in silence, each one standing in front of their cauldrons, the colour of the steam changing, the ingredients thrown into. Lily was red on her face because of the heat, Severus concentrated on stirring in correct sides: clockwise or anti-clockwise. It lasted about thirty minutes and the silence was broken only by Severus who wanted to borrow a silver spoon from her. When they finished, poured their potions into the bottles and corked them, Lily asked:
“Snape? You promised to show me a spell you’ve invented”.
“Ah yeah, of course. Prepare yourself!”, he said seriously and took his wand out of his pocket. Lily looked a bit scared, but she was curious what he was trying to do. Severus aimed his wand at her and said: “Comamcrispo!”
Lily looked at her hair, astonished. Her hair was curly!
“You look good in it, you see!”, Snape turned her so that she could check her new image on the glass of the bookshelf, “Do you want to keep it?”, he smiled.
Lily looked at the reflection in the glass. She looked really, really interested. Then she glanced quickly at the Severus, visible in the glass, standing beside her. His face expression was blazed for a moment, then disappeared.
“So?”, he asked.
“It’s great, I think I’ll keep it for a while if you can change it into straight hair in a few days or even months”, she answered, looking satisfied. “It’s the high time I have changed something in my looks. Petunia always says that I look too provocative with my red long hair. I’ll keep it so that I could change my looks without her knowledge and comments, but you’ll have to conjure straight hair for me when I come back home”, she laughed happily, “Terra and Angela will be shocked!”
“Petunia, you’ve said?”, asked Severus, “Is that the girl with - forgive me being honest, a horse face- your sister?”
“Snape! You really shouldn’t... I mean, you aren’t...”, Lily paused, embarassed, a blush on her face.
“I know I’m not”, he answered coldly, then added quickly, “I remember her, that’s it. She was the one who called me an oddball all the time, not that I was surprised, there’s a huge amount of truth in what she kept saying. I remember her well, it’s a kind of a girl who can’t do anything more strange than washing her hands twenty times a day”, he smiled.
“To be honest, your hair...”, Lily cut the conversation sharply, “You know”.
“Evans, I have an idea”, Severus said after a while, deliberately. “Knowledge is everything. Knowledge helps. You’re brilliant at Potions, I’m not that bad either, and I’m good at various charms and hexes. What would you say if I asked you to reveal a bit of your potion secrets and if I – in return- taught you some charms you may find helpful?”
Lily was thinking for a while, then answered, keeping her book in hands:
“It’s not a bad idea. I can agree but under one condition: you must tell me why you’re so interested in the Dark Arts. Everybody knows you are”.
“Yes, I am”, Snape answered, a shade of pride in his voice, his eyes gleaming with what looked like passion, “The Dark Arts can give you power. It’s even more power than you can possibly imagine. You know the subject, you may decide whether to use your knowledge against somebody or not. You can decide to – er- to punish somebody, by what means to do it, to what extent, you can also omit the possibility. You can defend yourself or to attack. You have the power, you can improve, push the boundaries further...”, he suddenly became silent.
“I know. Knowledge is power indeed”, Lily said quietly, “But... You’re a Slytherin. I don’t know you well. Tell me: if you had a choice to join these who call themselves the Death Eaters, would you do it?”
“Being a Slytherin doesn’t necessarily mean being evil, you know”, Severus sighed and added, “You can be tempted to use the power you have... Right now I can tell you-I’d like to use it on certain people sometimes. Nothing more to say”.
“So we may ask Slughorn if we can use this room for practising”, Lily nodded, “OK, I agree. Let’s say Sunday at five in the afternoon, if Slughorn says his “yes”.
“You don’t really think that Slughorn can say “no” to you, do you?”, Severus smiled, the left angle of his lips curved.
“Why, I...”, Lily became embarassed, “Well... you’re right, I don’t”, she laughed and they went out of the room together. When they were walking past the dim-lit corridor and they saw Regulus Black in the distance, Severus said:
“I have to go. We’ll ask Slughorn, then”.
Lily watched him, walking very fast in front of her, she saw him turning left and joining Regulus, who was still looking like a small kid. He wasn’t tall at all and compared to Severus, he looked as a ten-year-old. Severus was walking like a spider, his long arms and legs swaying, he was also very thin. His dark hair was black, greasy and arm-length, he wasn’t the kind of a boy who somebody could name as “handsome”. He was mysterious, though, like an unread book and it was interesting. Deep inside her heart she knew that he’s full of contrasts and she knew few secrets he didn’t want to reveal. She found them by accident and was very surprised. Lily promised herself not to tell anyone what she had discovered when she had been staying in her parents’ house during holiday. She suddenly felt uncomfortably and tensed, so she started walking faster and soon she joined some more students and a few professors on the Hogwarts corridors, then she told the password: amicus bonus to the Fat Lady and entered the Griffindor common room.

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Old September 15th, 2005, 1:06 pm
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allegro  Female.gif allegro is offline
Sixth Year
Joined: 5745 days
Location: in Snape's mind
Age: 44
Posts: 1,362
I feel a bit like writing only for myself...


Everybody in the room was surprised by Lily’s new look. Her curly hair lay very smart on her head: she looked as if she was a princess, that’s why the boys agreed she resembled. Despite many questions, she didn’t want to explain who did this to her.
“Only a golden crown to add and a throne”, Remus said and smiled, “Lily the Just. You look far better than English princesses, though.”
‘Remus, what happened again? I’ve heard that Sirius and James are doing their detention?”, she asked curiously.
“Don’t even ask. If you go furious again, I’ll...”, Peter Pettigrew joined to the conversation and opened his eyes the widest as he could, looking terrified.
“I’ll try not to, otherwise people will be laughing hard at me soon!”, Lily replied, amused, “So? What was it?”
“Snape made something strange with their chests. They looked as if they had breasts! When they took their wands out and aimed them at Snape, McGonagall emerged from the corridor... You can easily imagine what happened. And she’d suspected them of hexing this Popkins guy from Ravenclaw. When Mrs Healing finally cured his overgrown teeth, he told her who’d done it. They will be having this detention till next Saturday”.
“Densaugeo...”, Lily whispered and sighed falsely: “Poor boys”. She rolled her eyes and returned to doing her homework.

The next day after breakfast started with Divination. It was really excellent start because you could easily pretend that you predict the future and you could talk to your friends instead. Lily was talking to Terra and Angela about Snape.
“I talked to him, he seems not to be a half that evil as he’s being talked about”, Lily whispered, “I’m curious what he invented...”
“Yeah, you’re always interested in studying”, Terra replied, winking to her, “Ask him if he can make love potions. That will be great for me to put it into Sirius’s drink. I know he’d give back his mother for free if I promised him a glass of butterbeer”.
“I’ll see what I can do”, Lily said and the girls grinned. Professor Oracula or better “Lunatic”, as she was called among the students, came closer:
“What can you tell about the Mars connections with Saturn next week, girls?”, she asked, looking wild and distracted.
“It tells us that something dangerous and unpleasant can happen”, Angela answered quickly, “People can be in a mortal peril”.
“That’s right, Angie, that’s right!”, Oracula vel Lunatic was in extasy, “Beware! Fortunately, we still can omit it, learning how to predict the future and how to cope with dangers!”
Lessons passed quickly. Professor McGonagall praised Frank Longbottom’s transfiguration of a cup into a butterfly and ordered them practising how to transfigure a cup into a something more difficult: a gerbil. The whole classroom was filled with gerbils with handles of cups instead of ears or legs. James Potter was excellent in Transfiguration, so was Sirius. There wasn’t Remus sitting behind the desk between them: he was taken – as it was said- to the hospital wing immediately, but Lily knew that in fact he was taken to the Shrieking Shack: Lupin was a werewolf and there was a full moon, he may have hurt or even kill students. She knew this because Remus told her about it; in fact she liked him the most of the Griffidor boys, together with Frank Longbottom.
It wasn’t the first time for Lily to go to the Slughorn’s party. She was there many times before and she didn’t fully liked Horace Slughorn’s behaviour during these meetings. He used to concentrate the group of students he thought that they have either special talents or are well – connected because of their origin. She, Sirius and Severus were continually invited to the parties and the only good thing in it was that she could talk to some Hufflepuffs and Ravenclaws she liked. She couldn’t refuse, Sirius either and only Severus was the one of the three of them who didn’t care and didn’t often come.
“Combing your pretty hair for Slughorn, my little one?’, Potter asked, passing her when she stood in the front of the mirror in the common room.
“You’d better comb yours, James, that’s what I’d advise you”, Lily grinned, pointing at the mess on the top of Potter’s head.
“Bad luck again, James”, Sirius said, “I don’t think she likes you”.
“I don’t like Quidditch players who behave as if they owned the whole world”, Lily replied, “Black, are you going with me? Come on, let’s go!” and they went out of the room.
Sirius showed her the bottle: “So tell me, my dear Potions mistress, what do you think about it?”
“Hmmm... the colour is a bit too yellowish, but I think it’s OK. I don’t want to try the potion on me, though”, she smiled, “It would be better if Slughorn tried it on himself, he’s too fat, it would be good for him to shrink his belly”, they grinned from ear to ear and entered the huge room in which Slughorn lived.
“Good evening!”, Slughorn emerged out of nowhere, “Here come our Potions stars... But where’s Severus? Let me introduce you and then we’ll compare your potions... Oh, here he is... Come on boy, don’t hide, don’t hide...I’ll introduce you to the Minister of Magic Transport, we have also few Aurors today...”, he lowered his voice, “It’s a great opportunity for you to know them, they may like you and remember you and I can say a word and you’ll be having work in the Ministry when you finish Hogwarts”.
“Thank you Professor, you’re so good to us”, Lily replied, “But I’m a Muggle- born and it can be hard to get a good job even if I’m not that bad at potions”.
“Oh, Lily, Lily”, Slughorn shook his chubby finger in front of her eyes, “You’re definitely underestimating yourself. Come on”.
They were introduced to five people working for the Ministry of Magic. It seemed that Lily made a big impression on them: pretty, red-haired, green-eyed nice girl, so did Sirius- a handsome black-haired, noble looking boy in expensive robes. Nobody seemed to be interested in Severus, who was dressed rather poor, his black school robes looked too worn out, his face without a smile. “He can’t pretend”, Lily thought, “He can’t look like as if he liked parties. I suppose he’d gladly go out and dug himself in his books”.
Slughorn clapped and said loudly:
“You know of course that I made the competition and chose these fifth-year-students to brew the best Shrinking Potion they can?”, he looked around happily, as a person born to be in the centre of attention, “They did it! We’ll try which one is the best. And the happy winner will receive a twelve hours lasting Felix Felicis potion! Use it well, it’s extremely hard to prepare! Give me your bottles and we’ll try it on a volunteer... Maybe you, Severus”.
Severus looked extremely angry but said nothing. “He can’t resist”, Lily thought, “He wasn’t at the party for the last three times. I’m glad it won’t be me”.
“Here I have Sirius Black’s potion”, Slughorn showed the bottle and poured a bit out on the tablespoon, “Severus, will you be so kind and-“
Snape swallowed the potion looking more furious as ever and became visibly much shorter. The room filed with laughter. Slughorn took a tape-measure from the pocket of his silver-green robes and used it saying: “Ninety centimetres, good, good, but it could be better. We’ll see. Augeo!”- pointed his wand at Severus who returned to his normal size and had a visible, ugly blush on his face.
“Now I’m taking Severus’s one”, Slughorn said and forced the table spoon into Snape’s mouth, “Great!”, he took the tape-measure and crouched, because Severus was as short as a dwarf. “Great indeed! Only 15 centimetres! Augeo! And the last one, Lily’s... We’ll see. I can tell you that she’s the best fifth-year I could see in my school career... Severus, take the last one... Wow! 5 centimetres!!! Lily, you’re a winner!!! A Felix Felicis for you, take it, you deserve it! Augeo!”
Lily looked at Sirius, who seemed bored: he knew he had no chance with her and Snape and the shrinking potion was another piece of homework for him. Severus’s eyes were shining, as if tears filled them, but she may be wrong... she wasn’t sure. It quickly disappeared and Snape had his the most pallid and angry look on his face.
“Congratulations! Severus, there’s enough Felix for you... I have the rest of the potion, it will be suitable for about six hours, take it boy, you did well too”, Slughorn started clapping, “Eat, drink, have fun! I’ll go to the toilet and I’m back in a minute”.
A tall, black-haired girl with heavy-lidded eyes, Bellatrix, came to Lily, who was helping herself with a cake and said maliciously:
“Don’t think you’re better than us, Mudblood! You may brew good potions but you’ll never achieve the same we will. You’ll never good enough for us, we’ll never accept you”.
“You might’ve asked if I want to be good enough for you”, Lily replied sharply, “You didn’t so I’ll tell you. No, I don’t want, never”.
“We’ll see what you’ll say when the Dark Lord appears. We’ll see if you deny him”, she said, laughing madly and went away.
The feast became sadder after Bellatrix’s words. There she stood, together with her sister Narcissa, who was as pale as a drown woman: when you looked at her, the word “white” was what you thought of her immediately. They were the most adored Slytherin girls. Lily couldn’t stand them.
Suddenly she heard Severus’s voice: “Are we to talk to Slughorn, Evans?”.
“Oh yes, we are. Let’s go, then”.
They went to persuade the teacher. They asked him to go out of the room and when they were outside, Lily said:
“Professor, we have a small request. We’d like to have your permission to use the Potions classroom on Sunday afternoons. I’d like to show Severussome of my potion tricks”.
“An excellent idea, Lily”, Slughorn shouted, excited and swayed: he apparently drank too much wine, “You have my permission, of course. You can get really far with your knowledge and ambition”.
“Professor, thank you and... can we go? We all have much homework to do”, Lily explained.
When Slughorn agreed once more, swayed once more and left, Evans and Snape looked at themselves and Snape said seriously: “Till Sunday, then” and went away.
Lily came back to the room to tell Sirius that they can go. Sirius was relieved. He was standing with some Ravenclaw boys, but she could see one Hufflepuff girl, Alicia, who was gazing at hhim dreamily. When they both left and Sirius started talking that he’d gladly see Remus so he try to sneak to the shack omitting Filch, Lily put her hand into her pocket and shouted, sounding surprised and angry:
“Oh no! I don’t have the Felix Potion! Somebody must have stolen it from me! But who?!”

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Old September 17th, 2005, 3:23 pm
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“What do you mean by: it was stolen?”, Sirius Black asked, shaking his head, “Are you sure you took it with you? Who would...”, he paused and screamed in a tone suggesting that he was one hundred percent sure who was the thief, ‘ Snivellus!!!’
“Ha-ha-ha”, said Lily bitterly, “Surprising how fast you thought about your eternal enemy, Snivelly. But you’ve forgotten that he isn’t my enemy, you see... and he got his prize too...”, she was thinking loudly, “I’ve got an idea, but I can’t tell I’m right”.
“Who can it be?”, Sirius asked, “Snape is from Slytherin, he would be capable of that...”
“No”, she decided, sounding determined, “The thief can be someone from Slytherin, but it’s not Snape. It can be Bellatrix. She was talking to me, she never does it. She was standing close enough to me to manage to steal the Felix”.
“I’ve never liked her”, confessed Sirius, “She’s my cousin, a real evil one. When we were kids, she set a stray cat on fire, I can tell you, I was scared like hell. She can do really evil things. Now forgive me, I have to go to the boys’ dormitory. I’ll see if James and Peter can go with me to see Remus in the shack. Our prefect won’t say a word to professors, I hope...”, he sighed, his handsome face grinning.
“You know that I won’t. Poor Remus. Be careful!”
Lily went to the Griffindor room, where she informed curious students that she’d won, Snape got his less part of the Felix potion and she left to the dormitory. The two friends followed her.
“It could be that Bellatrix, Sirius’s right”, Terra said.
“It can’t be Snape, I don’t believe it. They tell awful things about him but I’ve never heard that he steals things”, Angela added.
The time was passing by quickly and the next Quidditch match was planned to be on Saturday afternoon. Students were preparing their support badges, discussing the match strategies and James Potter was even more in the centre of attention than it was possible. He kept messing up his black hair, talking loudly and explaining what he thought about the Slytherin chaser, Avery.
“He may be quick, he may be good, but I’ve heard that he caught some kind of a disease which makes him dizzy while sitting on the broom. Wasn’t it someone of you who did it to him?”, James asked and the whole group surrounding him were bursting from laughter, “Admit it!”
Somebody threw his hand up in the air.
“Hestia? REALLY?”, James stared at the girl unbelievingly.
“Well... yes”, she grinned, “It’s a charm my brother taught me. I think it can help you a bit”.
“You could be in Slytherin, Hestia”, Lily said and went straight to the pitch. When she saw Avery in the crowd, and he was swaying from the left to the right, looking furious and everything but not concentrated, she pulled out her wand, aimed it at him and said: “Relashio!’
“What are you doing, Evans?!”, a pale, blonde Narcissa yelled, “What have you done to him, you filthy Mudblood?”
“Don’t open your mouth if you don’t know what I’ve just done, Miss Pure-Blood”, Lily answered waspishly, “I’ve just saved your precious Avery from falling off the broom so that both teams had equal chances and I probably will be bashed for that by my own house”.
“It’s unbelievable how stupid you are”, Avery started laughing, “Evans! You’ve just won the stupidity contest! Hey, people! The Mudblood has just cured me so that we could have equal chances!”, all the Slytherins were howling with laughter.
Lily looked around, afraid of the fact that somebody from her house could hear it. He caught Severus’s eye: he was looking at her astonished and... acceptable? Unfortunately, there was a sixth-year Gideon Prewett, who looked at her saying: “Are you crazy? It was our advantage! What will happen if you just let it go?”
Soon the news spread through the fifth-years too. The Griffindors weren’t happy, not at all. Many of them just stopped talking to Lily.
“Lily, you know we are friends and so on, but you really could leave it”, Frank Longbottom said, “This Avery isn’t saint. He often hurts our players when nobody looks, he caused Marlene to fall off her broom, remember? If she hadn’t been flying quite near the ground... I really don’t know what would have happened. And that Crouch boy conjured the Quaffle once, it was flying to hurt us... Potter was hit by it so strongly, that he couldn’t play and he was lying in the hospital wing for five days”.
“Maybe I really shouldn’t do it... I can’t stand that people are furious at what I did. James!”, Lily yelled, ‘Can you come here?”
Potter came closer, his face expression unfathomable and Lily asked, worried:
“Are you mad at me too? Do you think that I shouldn’t cure Avery?”
“Honestly... You did the most stupid thing in your life...”, he looked seriously at her and then started laughing: “Just kidding! No problem, really... I’ll smash him into pieces!”
“And this one can be certainly called “Mr Conceited”, she sighed and they three laughed.
The Qudditch match started. The air was filled with tension and loud yelling. Slytherins were singing their song:
Griffindors are big loosers,
Griffindors are so weak,
They will get none but bruises,
They won’t get Golden Snitch!
After four hundred and fifty-seventh repeating of that song Lily yelled:
“My goodness! I can’t stand it anymore! I wish Potter caught the snitch as fast as he can and the game was over! It’s madness, this song!”
But Potter was still looking for the snitch and each time he was flowing faster looking as if he saw something, Avery was flying after him, so that James couldn’t be left alone for a while.
“I really shouldn’t have cured Avery!”, Lily sighed, “Now now!!! Can you see it?’
Avery was staring in the one direction and James in the opposite. Potter sprang fast and Avery sprang in the opposite direction. The crowd giggled.
“James Potter has caught the snitch! Griffindor wins!’, and all the stadium was filled with clapping, yelling and „Buuuuuuuuu’ sounds.
When the Griffindors were on the grounds, hugging their Quidditch players happily, Lily heard Avery talking:
“... and I’ve seen something, I was sure that it was the snitch and I’ve forgotten to guard Potter, I thought that he didn’t see what I saw...”
“Well, I definitely didn’t see what you saw”, Potter said, passing Avery by, “What did you see, white mice?”, he grinned and took Lily in his arms: “Evans! We won!!!”
Lily tried to loosen his grip: “Congratulations”, she said, “Really, you were excellent, but it doesn’t have to mean that you can suffocate me in your grip”.
Severus Snape was standing in the corner of the pitch near them, watching the scene with his eyes narrowed. He looked at the Marauders who were looking at the couple with a visible interest in their eyes, then walked away.

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Old September 19th, 2005, 2:16 pm
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Lily woke up on Sunday quite early and got up, looking in the mirror. Her hair was bushy as not combed for a month. No wonder: it was curly now. “Snape’s work”, she grinned and woke up the two friends up by loud yawning.
“Whazzup?”, Terra murmured, “No, mum, please, let me sleep”.
“There’s no mum here, you crazy!”, Lily laughed and opened a window because she saw Terra’s brown owl.
“Hey, Terra, get up! Sirius’s here!!!”, she yelled and Terra got up at once, her eyes tired of sleeping, “Sirius? Here? Now? I’m not dressed yet!”, she panicked, her eyes half open, searching for a skirt and a blouse in a blind hurry.
“Relax, I was joking”, Lily said and Angela giggled, awoken. “But you can dress now, we’re having breakfast soon. And read a letter, Cutie brought it to you”.
“I’ll kill you one day, I promise!”, said Terra angrily, “I really thought that Sirius was here and - ”
“Not that night”, Angela laughed, “But maybe some day... you’ll have to use a Love Potion because he seems not to notice you”
“Don’t even remind me about it!”, said Terra furiously, “I spent one hour yesterday trying to conjure redder lips and darker hair without any results. All hope lays in Snape and you, Lily”, she said seriously and the three girls started to laugh. They woke up half the students sleeping in the girls dormitory.

The breakfast was delicious as ever. Students were eating, talking about the yesterday’s Quidditch match and their past, present and future homework. Everything was as it used to be until Professor Dumbledore announced that he wanted to say something very important.
“You have no idea how sorry I feel that I must stop these funny talks and turn them into less funny ones”, Dumbledore said loudly, looking at his students throughout his half- mooned spectacles, “But I have something really important to tell you. Your friends, Marlene McKinnon and Gloria Maas had to leave Hogwarts this morning. Their closest family had been murdered”.
Shocked whispers filled the hall; students were looking at Dumbledore in disbelief. A small girl from Hufflepuff and a fifth-year one from Ravenclaw started crying. Some of the Slytherins looked glad, though. Lily noticed a satisfied smile on Bellatrix’s face.
“Therefore I must warn you once again: You mustn’t leave Hogwarts in any case. There are mortal dangers waiting outside the Hogwarts grounds. Hogwarts is well protected by my enchantments but-“ Dumbledore paused for a while, “You’ll never know whom the Death Eaters can choose as a next victim. Thank you for your attention”.
When Lily filled her “Dream Diary” with all her latest dreams (only half of them was true as she didn’t want to reveal the embarrassing truth in front of Professor Oracula alias Lunatic), wrote an essay for Potions, Transfiguration and Defense Against The Dark Arts, won a battle with her two friends outside using the snow balls, she went out of the common room to meet Snape in the dungeons. She was wondering if she pointed out the proper ways of distinction of the wand movements between the Shield Charm and the Patronus one. She had already accepted that her Felix potion was stolen as she knew she had no chance to prove that Bellatrix was the thief. She came into the classroom in the dungeons, which was as dark as ever and saw Severus Snape sitting on the chair with his long thin legs on the desk.
“Hi, Evans”, he said and got up in a one very quick, fluid move, “I’ve been waiting for you”.
“I’m sorry I’m a bit late, that’s because of the homework for Oracula”, she sighed deeply, “I just hate when I have to write the stupid true dreams and none of the predictions I make using clues from the textbook fulfills!”
“Divination is an unbelievably subject when taught by an incompetent teacher”, Severus agreed, “And she’s one. I’m sure that there are some– ah –pretty believable prophets, but they are as rare as a Death Eater who doesn’t kill”.
“While we’re talking about the Death Eaters... what you Slytherins think about the last murders, I wonder”, Lily asked bitterly, “You must have been celebrating...”
“Some of us were celebrating, indeed”, Snape said slowly, “But some weren’t. These who hate Mudbloods have a real fun every time a Mudblood is killed, but some...a minority...”
“I just can’t understand all this thinking”, Lily said angrily, “Do we- like you say- Mudbloods, deserve death because we were born in non-magical families? It’s stupid, forgive me!”
Severus sighed and answered: “You don’t have to apologize, I’m not a pure blood but a half-blood... “
“So do you agree that you’re worse than they?”, Lily asked, shaking her head in disbelief.
“Maybe I am...”, Severus looked a bit unsure, “Oh, it’s hard to explain to a saint Griffindor”, he smiled, his lips curled, “What do you want me to teach you?”
“Well, I have a Love Potion request from one of my mates”, Lily grinned, “But tell me what more interesting can we do?”
‘I’ve invented a charm which makes other people, someone who stands close to you, not to hear what you are saying”, Severus said, straightening his chest, “Let’s try it!”
Lily was a fast learner and even managed to made Severus not to hear when she was saying quite loudly: “Bellatrix is a pig!”. It took them only about half an hour to learn it and then Lily decided to show Snape how to brew an Inflating potion. He lit the fire under his cauldron and started preparing all the ingredients needed. Lily was looking at him doing this and she suddenly thought:
“He has beautiful hands. Slim, long fingers and pretty shaped nails. They look so... how’s it like to be touched by them?” and blushed.
It was... strange. Severus wasn’t pretty at all in general, “But he does have some interesting features...”, a voice in her head which was quiet at first, sounded a bit louder, “He’s a Slytherin... So what he is? He’s intelligent, has a sharp sense of humour...”, the voice continued, “No!”, she decided, “No!”
Lily’s fallen in love once so far. Nobody of her friends would guess who it was, because the person she fancied as a twelve-year-old wasn’t much liked by her now. Or maybe it wasn’t exactly like this that she didn’t like him at all. It’s just... James Potter seemed like a hero to her when she was younger. She was few years older now and noticed some features of character in James which really got on her nerves. No, not James Potter, that putting on airs boy who was always self-content. No way!
Snape glanced at her and asked: “Evans?”
She looked at him absent-mindedly and said: “OK. I’ll give you my own inflating recipe. Don’t look exactly at what’s written in this book, this guy who wrote it was good at potions but lacked a bit of... let’s say... imagination. It’s written: when you put all the three ingredients into the cauldron, stir them 6 times anti-clockwise, but- if you stir them only 5 times, the consistency will be a bit thicker, what means that after adding the next ingredients and stirring them one time less, you’ll get a thicker potion and a stronger effect. Also, if you put a bit of this herb, let’s say half of a spoon, it will make a person inflate right in all parts of the body”.
Snape was following her instructions carefully, without speaking a word, careful not to mess up something. The result of his work was excellent, the potion shimmered lightly blue in the darkness. Suddenly he said:
“It could be even better if you put there one pinch of sea weed, don’t you think? It would be able to inflate the person so that his skin wouldn’t be too tight...”
“An excellent idea!”, Lily clapped her hands, agitated, “You know what? We both understand ourselves in Potions very well”.
“Yeah, you’re right”, Snape agreed, Lily giggled and then they both looked at themselves, “Many Slytherins don’t appreciate your talent, Lily...”, he said and suddenly his hand touched hers. Lily shivered and looked at his hand feeling surprisingly happy deep inside of her. Then she looked at Severus. He didn’t take his hand away, kept it for a moment and then said:
“I think I’ll write the recipe in my Potions book. Let’s see... Inflating potion... page two hundred and fifty-four... So five times instead of six, a chamomile and a pinch of sea weed”, his writing was cramped and small, “Are we meeting next Sunday?”
“Yes, it will be the last Sunday before Christmas”, Lily answered happily, “I’ll see my parents and my sister! Are you going home for Christmas, Severus?”
“Yes”, he nodded and his eyes became like dark tunnels. Lily hadn’t seen him looking like that: a dark-haired thin boy with a painful look on his face. She knew what caused this pain and wanted to ease it. His home... Severus seemed so sad and lonely: it was heartbreaking feeling to see him like that.
“We can meet to chat a bit if you want. At home, I mean”, she said, sounding embarrassed, “Would you?’
Snape nodded, poured the potion they made into a big bottle, packed his bag and went out of the classroom.

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Old September 21st, 2005, 1:24 pm
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Lily was feeling very sorry for him. She was still sitting in the classroom, thinking about what she saw three years ago, when her mother asked her to go to the Snapes, who lived at the end of the Spinner’s End, to gave his mother, Eileen, one kilo of sugar she borrowed. Lily had never been there before, but she knew the dark-haired, skinny boy of hers for a long time. It wasn’t a close friendship, no. It seemed that Severus had never allowed nobody to get closer to him. She hadn’t even tried, she had some good friends who were funny and loved to play outside: to play, not to sit in the corner of the playground as Severus had used to do.
Lily saw this incident in summer. It was quite late in the evening, it was getting dark, but it wasn’t a full darkness. She went to the Snapes house, which looked sad and a bit poor, many herbs growing wildly around it, so different than the house she lived... Her house was surrounded by a garden with various kinds of flowers, painted yellow. Her family wasn’t rich, but it wasn’t poor either. She had a happy childhood, she was loved by both parents of hers, and by her sister too.
“Petunia”, Lily thought, “She’s changed her attitude towards me when she learnt that I was a witch and she didn’t have this gift”.
Lily knocked at the dark, scratched door. Nobody opened. You could see the dim light throughout the curtains. She knocked once again and finally somebody came to the door.
There he stood: a black-haired man with hooked, long nose, keeping the bottle of whisky in his right hand.
“What do you want?”, he barked and hiccupped, “Who are you?”
“I’m Lily Evans”, she introduced herself, “I’m a neighbour of yours. We live in the same street. I’ve brought something for Mrs Eileen from my mother”, she explained and looked terrified at Mr Snape. He became furious and yelled out loud, spitting at her:
“You’ve brought something for that rag? What can it be? Let me guess: a death potion??? Maybe she’d finally die!!! You, witches! Or maybe it’s something for me??? Something prepared to finish me off!!!” he was yelling, standing still in the porch, then held the door handle as if he had too weak legs to stand on. “Go away, go!!! She won’t get anything, that twisted, ugly...”
“Are you Lily?”, a voice could be heart suddenly.
Lily saw a tired, sleepy looking woman, standing behind Mr Snape. She was wearing untidy, old clothes and was smelling unpleasantly, as not bathed for a week or two, “You have something for me?”
“Go away, you rag, did you hear me? Go away at once!!!”, her husband yelled and aimed the bottle of whisky he was still keeping in his hand at her, “Now!!!”
The poor, tired-looking woman looked as if she shrunk. She curled up and moved back. Lily was watching all this scene shocked. Out of a sudden she saw Severus Snape who approached the door, asking loudly: “Mum, what’s...” and paused. His father aimed the bottle at him.
He saw Lily and blushed, a huge ugly blush covered his pale cheeks. She wasn’t sure but his eyes were gleaming... were there tears? She felt he wished the earth would swallow him. She said quietly:
“I’d better go”, and put the packet of sugar in front of the door. She heard the door slamming as she turned away.
Lily couldn’t believe what she’d just seen. She hadn’t known Snape so well to tell if he’d had loving parents but what she’d just saw shook her. She was talking to her mum about the Snapes family that night. Her mum knew that Mr Snape was a fisherman, a Muggle and his mother was a witch. Snape’s mother had never complained about her husband.
In fact, she was always saying that Tobias was a good husband. “Maybe he drinks alcohol from time to time, but who of the fishermen doesn’t?”, she said, “I’ll talk to Eileen about the incident when we meet”, she promised.
Lily’s mum kept her promise. When they met in the shop, she asked Eileen to sit on a bench and chat for a while. Eileen was looking glad to have an excuse to talk to her, but when the mum reminded her about the accident, Eileen said:
“No, Octavia, don’t worry, really. Tobias is a good man: he was drunk that night but he only threatens and nothing else. He cares for us, he loves us. Don’t think too much about it”, she clapped Octavia’s hand and went away.
Lily’s mum felt not at all eased, but what else she could do? Apparently Eileen didn’t have such a big problem or maybe didn’t want to admit it and Octavia didn’t like being too nosy. She told Lily about the results of the talking.
Lily felt that it wasn’t fair to treat the family like that, even if it really was a single accident. But soon she reminded about Severus’s bruises she saw once when he was playing with them in “hide-and-seek” as a kid and his T-shirt caught on a fence. Where the bruises come from?
All this Lily reminded, sitting alone in the deserted classroom. She breathed in the classroom air: it was still filled with the nauseating smell of the potion they had both just made... She was feeling as if he was still there, she almost felt Severus’s hand on hers. How cruel life was for him, for his mother... What Snape said about his unwillingness to come back home made her sure that he and his mum were both abused. She had never felt such a strong sympathy towards this odd boy before. “It isn’t only sympathy, girl, be honest!”, a voice in her head started talking again, “It’s more... You liked the feeling when he was touching your hand... Just think what you would be able to feel if he kissed you...”
Lily knew she was this kind of a girl who didn’t necessarily need a handsome boy. She was different than most of girls in her age. The guy she could fall in love with should be “handsome” inside. Having had a crush on Potter... she liked the boy because he was funny. “Now he thinks he’s funny, it’s a difference” the voice continued, “Severus is a boy who you feel sorry for, who you like and who you... want to kiss”.
“Shut up! It’s all his dark, misunderstood boy image!”, said Lily loudly and went out of the classroom.

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Old September 23rd, 2005, 11:48 am
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I've made a thread "Feedback for "Snively" by allegro" in upper part of this section. Comments are very welcome!


Lily didn’t want to go straight to the Griffindors that evening. She was feeling numb, happy, ashamed, wonderful, unhappy and confused altogether.
“I think I’m crazy”, she thought, walking slowly in the snow and breathing in the cold, fresh winter air. “Am I behaving like a mommy who likes taking care of her child? Or am I wanting something more?”, her confusion was growing bigger and bigger with every minute. “Almost every man on this earth has something good in him”, she continued thinking, “Even Severus. I see it, I can’t deny it. James and Sirius have some good in them too. Everyone has. Everyone except Voldemort and his cronies”.
She came near the stream and noticed that her footsteps aren’t the only ones left in the snow. Then she heard a quiet conversation. She turned left and continued walking: the more closer she was to the talking students, the more clearly she heard their conversation:
“... there’s nothing Filch couldn’t notice with the bloody cat of his, so be more careful next time, Padfoot or he’ll take the map for ever!”, Lily recognized James’s voice.
“I was trying, but how could I know Mrs Norris was there?! This cat moves without any single sound! How come the cat behaves like a person??? She’s so old, she should be already dead!”
“You shouldn’t have gone to the restricted section when it hadn’t been dark yet”, Remus Lupin suggested quietly, “If Filch had noticed the map and had taken it... just think! It would be the end of all your help!”
Lily stopped and stood behind the tall tree. She felt interested what the boys were planning to do: she was a prefect, so she was obliged to look after other students. Besides, she was simply curious what the four boys do together in their free time.
“Look who’s going out there!”, Peter said suddenly, “Snape!”
“Fine”, James answered and yelled, “Hey, Sev! What are you doing here? Shouldn’t you be in your Slytherin dormitory covered by your Dark Arts books?”
Snape stopped quickly, his hand searching for his wand in the right pocket of his robes.
“Do you really expect I’ll tell you why I’m here?”, he barked, “You must be kidding. But you know - somehow it isn’t funny. Not at all, Potty-head”.
“Oh, get lost or better fly away”, Potter shouted, “Oh, I’ve forgotten... You can’t fly, Snivellus... not at all...”
Severus threw out the black schoolbag which he was holding in his hands and quickly took out the bottle of a potion, talking slowly and maliciously: “Do you know what it is, Potter? It’s an Inflating Potion. Don’t force me to pour it into your drink one day. You’d become more conceited than you’re now and do you know what it means? You wouldn’t be able to sit on your broom no more, the jerk as you undoubtedly are”.
Sirius had aimed his wand at Snape before Severus could manage to take out his and cried: “Repeat how you named James”.
There was a moment of silence. Lupin and Pettigrew apparently seemed not to say a word.
“Why, yes, of course I’ll repeat it. You’re a unbelievable jerk, Potter!” and he took out his wand out of his pocket, but before he aimed it at them, Lily heard: “Expelliarmus!” and Wormtail’s laughter: “I knew you won’t let him to hex you, Prongs!”
“I can still do it without a wand”, spat Snape, “I’m warning you, don’t force me...”
“And what can you do without your wand, Snivelly? To scratch yourself on your greasy head?”, Sirius laughed loudly.
Lily panicked. She knew that Snape knew more Dark Magic than the Griffindor boys. It was the highest time to intervene.
“Stop it!”, she stepped forward, “Stop it right now!”
She looked at them: all five boys were standing stiff like statues, their mouth wide open.
“Evans”, James spoke, shocked, “What are you doing here?!”
“I’m watching you and I don’t like what I’ve just seen”, she replied, “Why did you-“, she aimed her finger at the Marauders, “call him for? Searching for a bit of provocation?”
“That’s why I like her”, James grinned, “Evans, Snape is following us continually, I think you should know this”.
“He calls us names and hexes us too, Evans”, Sirius answered defensively, “It’s just maybe you haven’t noticed this, you Prefect Perfect you undoubtedly are”.
“Yes, I do”, Snape replied proudly, his lips curled in a smirk, a curtain of his black greasy hair on his face, “You four deserve every single swear and hex I’ve managed to-“
“You haven’t managed that much”, James paused Snape’s talking quickly.
Lily was looking a little confused for a while and then said categorically:
“I don’t understand you lot. I wish I didn’t break your enchanting conversation. Go, swear, hex, fight, do what you want, you may even add yourself a few heads and limbs if it makes you happy, but it would be far better for everybody if you conjured yourself more brains. Good-bye”, she turned around and started going towards the castle.
“Evans!”, shouted Potter, “Hey, Evans! Wait! Let me explain...’
“I don’t think she’ll listen to you, mate”, Sirius said, shrugging, “She isn’t turning back”.
James said nothing but looked less self-confident than usual. Severus moved forward and walked towards the Forbidden Forest, the wand still at the ready in his hand.
“Right. RIGHT! Don’t look at me like this!”, James pointed his finger at Remus, “Snivellus is a bloody dung, he’s a half Death Eater already, isn’t he?!”
Peter giggled, but Lupin said deliberately: “Maybe he is, maybe he isn’t. I think you hate Snape because of more reasons than the Dark Arts and you hate him even more lately”.

When Lily came into the Griffindor common room, it was full of people as always. She sat near the fireplace and her two friends surrounded her at once.
“How’s the lesson with Snivelly?”, Terra asked curiously, “And why are you looking so pale?’
“It’s all the vampire Snape’s fault”, Angela giggled.
“I’ve got a headache”, Lily replied and noticed that Angela opened her mouth, “No, don’t suggest me going to Mrs Healing, I’ll be fine”, she sighed. In fact, Angela was gladly drinking many remedial potions when offered by Mrs Healing: she was visiting the hospital wing far too often for her real needs.
“OK”, Angela was sulky, “So I won’t tell you what I saw ten minutes ago on the sixth floor... If you think I’m exaggerating – “
“Angie, don’t sulk, just tell us”, Terra grinned, Or I’m taking you all to practise these new charms for Flitwick...”
“Oh, the test!” Angela squealed, “OK, I’ll tell you then”, she decided, smiling, “She was snogging Rodolphus Lestrange in the end of the corridor”.
“And what happened that she suddenly...”, Lily started.
“... Started snogging Rodolphus?”, Terra finished, “I’ve got an idea... Maybe your Felix Felicis potion?”

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Old September 25th, 2005, 2:29 pm
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I'd say that this chapter is suitable for forumers who are already 13 years old or more... Please leave a comment in a "Feedback for "Snively" by allegro" in the feedbacks upper section .


Lily looked around and noticed that James Potter was there. She had an idea... She’d shouted a lot at James lately, though. Lily decided to take the risk and ask James for something.
“James, can I ask you for a minute?”
James looked at her, surprised. She was mean to him half an hour ago and she was so nice for him now.
“What’s up, Evans? Have you seen something I shouldn’t do again?”, he smiled, but his eyes remained colder than usual.
“I’d like to ask you to lend something to me, but I’m not sure if you’d like to give me it. Even if you’re a guy who exaggerates in some... oh...I haven’t been to nice for you lately”, she admitted, embarrassed, “I was just wondering if... oh, let’s end with it. Can you lend me your invisibility cloak?”, she said very quickly, “I know you have one and I... I need it to punish somebody who stole something important for me”.
The two Lily’s friends looked at James with hope.
“And you can borrow me instead”, Terra laughed, “So that Lily and you were fifty-fifty”.
“Well...”, James answered slowly, looking sad, “Evans, I regret to say this but... Filch’s confiscated the cloak”
“That's awful!”, Angela sighed, “It could be such a great plan...”
“Just kidding, girls! I still have it! But remember, Evans: no hexing! I’d prefer you to be fifty-fifty with me, but I know you’ll refuse me as always, so... maybe Terra for Sirius? When I look at you, you don’t look that bad either”, James smiled, pointing at Terra, “He’d be satisfied”.
Terra showed James her tongue and asked: “So where’s the cloak?”
“Were you talking about me?”, Sirius came closer, “Did I hear: Terra Sirius something?”
“You’re correct, Padfoot”, James grinned, “Fancy a date with Terra today?”

Lily sneaked out of the Griffindor room, said: Lumos!” and was walking fast, the wand lit in her hand. The corridors were almost empty; there was nothing but silence, sometimes broke by quiet conversations of the people living in the pictures hanging on Hogwarts walls. She was praying for omitting Mrs Norris: the cat could easily sniff her. Right then she had no idea what she could do to Bellatrix but she felt it must have been the stolen Felix potion which did the job: why Bella started going out with Rodolphus so suddenly?
“It isn’t all about the potion”, she thought and stopped trying not to breathe because she spotted Professor McGonagall walking towards the Filch’s office, “She shouldn’t say these things to me at the Slughorn’s party”.
The girl crossed the moving stairs and they stopped at the sixth floor. Trying not to give a single sound, Lily was searching for the dating couple. It was possible that they were no longer there. She was listening at the doors she passed but any sound could be heard. Suddenly she stopped; she saw long, slim shadows of the two people on the floor. The girl said “Nox!” and her wand stopped giving light.
“... so pretty... How come I haven’t noticed how beautiful you are before?”, she heard Rodolphus’s passionate voice.
“I can tell you why. She’s a thief and you’re being cheated”, Lily thought furiously, “She should’ve brewed the potion herself if she’d wanted to make a fool of you”.
“But you’ve noticed me and that’s the most important thing”, Bellatrix answered, her voice tense of lust, “I hope that it’ll continue...”
Lily came closer and looked at them with interest. Rodolphus’s hand was wandering from Bella’s breasts to her waist. She saw them kissing and became fascinated by the view somehow. She kept staring at them and out of the sudden the wand fell out of her hand with a loud sound. The couple looked around in panic.
“Is anybody out there?”, Bellatrix asked.
Lily lifted the wand quickly from the ground and started walking towards the stairs as quietly as she could. She felt that something- some kind of power is pushing her to come back to the Griffindors. “No wonder I couldn’t do any pranks to them”, she thought, disappointed, “It’s obvious! I haven’t thought about it earlier! If she really took the Felix, she wanted to snog Lestrange without any breaks. I wish I could scare her to death! But at least I’m sure that she stole my potion.”

Lying in her bed Lily did a review of the day. Both her friends were sleeping but she couldn’t. She was thinking about something strange and dangerous what awoke deep inside of her that day. Terra was talking to Black for a long time sitting on the windowsill that day. Maybe they will be a couple... James fancied Lily or maybe he fancied one hundred other girls from Hogwarts. Bellatrix desired Avery. Lily was fancing... whom was she fancing?

The new week was happier than ever: the air was filled with the longing for Christmas. The hall was decorated, all the Hogwarts ghosts were agitated, Peeves was sneering, throwing snow balls and icicles at the students... Professors, especially McGonagall and Moody were still demanding much homework.
“Oh, next Tuesday and we’ll be on our way home”, sighed Frank Longbottom when they were eating meals even more delicious than always, “I miss home”.
“Me too”, Alice replied, “I can’t wait to see my parents and I’m expecting a new snowy owl as a Christmas present”.
Frank glanced at her and said: “I’ve heard that you may expect more gifts than usual”
“What do you mean by that?”, Alice asked curiously, but she heard no answer, as James’s voice caught all Griffindors’ attention:
“And I know that I’ll get a new broomstick on Christmas, my mum’s promised me that in the last letter”, he said proudly, “It’s the newest model, the Sweeper. Can you imagine how fast I’ll be able to fly? Avery’s dead, I can tell you!”, he messed up his hair and glanced at Lily.
“Ah yeah, Potter, of course”, Lily answered maliciously, “And look who’s sitting at the Slytherin table... See? Avery! He doesn’t look dead somehow”, she grinned and went straight to the Divination classroom on the top tower.

The Potions lessons with Slughorn had become more interesting for Lily lately. As they were with the Slytherins, she could watch Bellatrix and Rodolphus brewing various potions together; Bellatrix left her pale sister Narcissa, who was sitting with blonde Barty Crouch Junior. “They both look so white that eyes hurt when you look at them”, Lily thought. Severus seemed not to be interested in anything but new potions and she noticed that he started brewing them in a more creative way, with better or worse results. As they had Potions two times a week, the first lesson and Snape’s attempts to brew a more extraordinary potion than he used to do ended in not a very fortunate way: the hot potion was poured out of the cauldron, hissing dangerously and it burnt Snape’s face, as he was staring at it cautiously with the nose too near the boiling mass.
“Oh! My dear boy! You must go to the hospital wing at once!!!”, Slughorn shouted, sounding frightened, “Hurry, boy, hurry! I hope that Mrs Healing will manage to repair the damage on your face!”
“Not that he didn’t have any damage before these Potions”, Potter said in a waspish voice quite loudly: many of the Griffindors and some of the Slytherins, including Bellatrix, giggled.
“What did you say, Potter?”, Slughorn asked absent-mindedly, trying to vanish the potion, which didn’t want to disappear.
“That it would be a disaster if our mate couldn’t be cured”, James answered, smiling sweetly and suddenly shouted: “Ouch!”. He jumped in a chair. “Somebody’s hit me!”
‘Don’t talk rubbish, James”, Slughorn shook his finger, “Nobody’s hit you, I was looking at you!”
James looked at Snape with hate in his hazel eyes and said nothing. Snape’s eyebrow lifted, his lips curled in a false smile and he went out of the classroom, holding a handkerchief on his face.

The second Potions lesson ended in Slughorn’s applause of Snape’s and Lily’s excellently brewed Better Mood potions. Both Snape and Lily added some ingredients which mixed gave: a singing effect in Lily’s case and a smile all the time as the great effect Severus achieved. Praised by Slughorn, they left the classroom in a well-earned glory. It was the last lesson of the week.

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Old September 27th, 2005, 11:35 am
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All the students still weren’t allowed to go to the Hogsmeade, but Lily was almost sure that the Marauders sneaked out to the village; they had new stores of sugar quills, Bertie Bott’s Beans, shrieking books and many other crazy stuff.
“James must’ve used his Invisibility Cloak”, Angela said, unbelievingly, “Wasn’t he afraid of the Death Eaters? Dumbledore said that they are still in Hogsmeade...”
“If he really was there... and it looks like he really was because they won’t sell these things by post”, Lily answered, shaking her red head, “Then he’s unbelievably stupid, risking his life like this! I’ve heard that he’s an only child and his parents are Purebloods”, she sighed and asked Terra quietly: “How’re things with Sirius going?’
“We’ve been talking a lot lately”, Terra explained, glancing at Padfoot dreamily, “There was a lot more my talking than his, you see... You know what? He told me he had a mother he couldn’t stand and so his brother. He doesn’t want to come back to his house but he has to. His mum always invites lots of guests from “the noble Pureblood families”, she said, imitating a woman’s high-pitched voice. I understand him, all this **** about Purebloods... but his brother seems to believe in this”.
“No wonder, he’s a Slytherin”, said Angela, sounding condemnatory, “But I won’t say anything more as our best friend seems to like one certain Slytherin and is going to see him today”, she giggled.
“Oh I’m not sure if I like him or not”, Lily replied, blushing a little, “I just know a bit more about him than you both know... and I can’t say a word about it, you know that”, she said accusingly, looking at them.
“Were you talking about Slytherins?”, Sirius apparently overheard some parts of the conversation. “Oh, I hate this house. It supports the awful creatures like Bellatrix, Snivellus, Avery and more. They should be forbidden learning magic”
“Aha”, Lily said bitterly, “I can see it. Hagrid’ll stop loving Hippogriffs faster than they stop learning at Hogwarts. Or I should better say: if the Death Eaters torture people like this still, Mudbloods will be forbidden to learn magic because they’ll all be not existing species. I have to go now, see you soon”, and she went away.

Lily saw Snape on the corridor leading to the dungeons, he was standing with a group of boys. She passed him without a word and entered the empty classroom where something was smelling very pleasantly. Severus joined her about five minutes after and saw her sniffing the liquid in the cauldron with a satisfied smile on her face.
“Hi, Evans.”
“I’m sorry I’m late. I was explaining the boys something about the Dark Arts”.
“You’re good at it”, Lily replied, “I just hope you don’t do anything bad with the knowledge”.
“I guess I am”, Snape replied, his hair greasy as ever. “I wish I didn’t have to use it”.
What’s this?”, asked the girl, “I’ve never smelled anything that pleasant”.
“It’s the Love Potion, Evans”, Severus said, a blush on his face. “Somebody from the Slytherin asked me to brew it for him... I don’t know if it works, it was my first attempt – Evanesco!’, he pointed his wand at the potion and it disappeared. “I’m wondering how it smelled for you... It smells differently for everybody. Tell me three smells and I’ll tell you three in return”, he grinned and his face changed so much in this smile that it was almost unbelievable. “He looked as... a normal boy”, Lily thought, “Aren’t they exaggerating about his evilness?”
“Deal”, Lily smiled, “First... it smelled like my favourite cake mum bakes... ginger cake... Then, it smelled like the air during the hot day soon after the thunderstorm... Third...Well... It’s something like the smell of newly brewed potion, but I can’t tell you which one it is. Your turn”, she winked, her lips curled in a nice smile, her still curly hair shining slightly in the dim light, “So? I’m listening what a Slytherin can sniff out!”
Severus smiled too and answered: “The first one is the smell of old books. Not that strange, isn’t it? Then... my mother... like she used to smell when she was washing herself more often”, he said seriously, but Lily had to hide the faint smile on her face and then she reprimanded herself, “Finally... the smell of a dusted, dark, small room which hasn’t been visited by nobody for weeks. Enough”, he moved towards her fast and smiled lightly: “Do you want me to teach you the enchantment which can make you change your face?”
Lily looked at him, astonished and shouted: “Can you really do that? Where have you found this hex?”
“I’ve invented it myself”, Severus explained patiently, “But the looser as I seem to be... you won’t believe me”.
“You’re not a looser!!!”, Lily yelled furiously, “Don’t make them believe you are!”
“I always knew you know the truth”, Snape replied victoriously, “You have to move the wand this way, remember, not too rapidly... Are you ready? Can I hex you?’
Lily nodded and Severus shouted: “Capitem mutare!”, smiled, then turned her head towards the glass of the cupboards, “Look, but don’t be afraid, we can mend this”.
The girl felt nice at first, feeling Severus touched her, then became a bit afraid of what she’d see. She breathed in the cold dungeon air and said: “OK, I’ll take the risk, but if I’ll be looking like Filch, I’ll hex you too, I swear!’
Snape grinned and answered: “I haven’t developed a technique which would allow me to change people’s faces into well-known ones yet”, and glanced at Lily, who was apparently in shock, “I can conjure only the head you have now”.
Lily’s new face was a face of a black-haired woman, but she looked as if she was about fifty years old, she had wrinkles under her eyes and a loose skin under her chin. It was a really ugly face. She opened her mouth to ask him to change the face into her own, but suddenly the classroom door opened and James Potter came in.
“What are you doing there, Snivelly?”, he asked curiously.
“Always-wanting-to-know-what-I’m-doing-here-and-there Potter”, Snape replied maliciously.
“Who’s she?”, Potter asked, stunned, looking at the woman’s profile, “She isn’t from Hogwarts”.
“We’re practising advanced Transfiguration here, Potter... What do you want from here? To steal some ingredients – perhaps?”
“Witty Snivellus”, James replied, “Whatever I wanted to do here, it won’t be with you and me breathing in the same air in the same room”. James turned and left.

“Make me looking the same as I used toand my hair too by the way!”, Lily ordered angrily, “I hate you both behaving like this! Why do you hate yourselves so much?!”
“Maybe the same reason why you can’t stand Bellatrix?”, Snape answered deliberately, “I know you can’t. Some people get on your nerves so much that the feeling fills you to the bones. Permutationem!”, and Lily was looking like she used to. They remained silent for a moment.
“You know, I put your previous enchantment so that Frank wouldn’t listen to my conversation with Terra and Angie”, she said, “I’m sure this one can be useful in these dangerous times. Here you have a recipe for the Freckle Potion-“, she waved her wand towards the blackboard, “- You can make it well alone... Forgive me, I have to go, I’ve got to do the Dream Diary for Oracula”.
Snape jumped off the table and approached her: “You said we can meet after Christmas to talk a bit...”
Lily hesitated for a moment, then looked in his dark, shining eyes and...somehow felt she shouldn’t resist.
“Yes, I think so. I’ll send you an owl”, she replied quickly and couldn’t see his hand being held out, because she’d already left.

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Old September 29th, 2005, 12:17 pm
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As Lily went out of the classroom and followed the well-known path towards the Griffindor common room, thinking about how surprising Snape could be, how he wanted to win every battle with James-a battle on words or on hexes- and why they do care of what they think about themselves, a little girl from Hufflepuff caught her saying that Professor Dumbledore asked her to come to his office and she said the password. Lily was surprised, but obediently turned left and went straight into the Headmaster’s office, muttering “Hello” to many students and some other professors she was passing by.
The huge gargoyle allowed her to pass when she had said loudly: “Lemon sorbet!”. She went upstairs, curious what the Headmaster whom she liked very much would like from her.
She knocked, entered the room and saw that nobody was there. She sat on the comfortable chair and looked around.
The portraits of previous Hogwarts headmasters and headmistresses were glancing at her with a visible interest in their eyes.
“I’m wondering what Dumbledore wants from you, girl”, Professor Dippet asked, smiling.
“Oh, what would he want from his students... They must have messed something up and Dumbledore would be searching for something what can excuse them”, she heard the voice belonging to Phineas Nigellus, who was said to be the least liked headmaster in Hogwarts, “You all know Dumbledore”.
“It’s very noble of Dumbledore to treat his students like that!”, the long-haired old witch apparently liked the headmaster, but before she could say more, the knock at the door can be heard and a greasy black-haired head showed itself at the door.
“You too, Snape?”, Lily blinked.
“Ah, me too. I already can tell you whom we owe this honor to. Do you want to know?’
Lily nodded.
“Potter. I’m sure he saw you being transfigured and...”, Snape spat.
“... And thought it would be a great idea to inform me what he’d just seen”, Dumbledore came into the room and smiled gently, “It was his aim to tell me that somebody from outside Hogwarts could be here”.
“It wasn’t his aim!”, Snape said angrily, “He’s always accusing me of something evil! I was sure that he’d go straight to you after what he saw!!!”
“Unbelievable impertinence”, Phineas spoke.
“And what did he see?”, Dumbledore asked politely, “You are here, you can explain me what was going on in the Potions classroom and if your version is believable- and I’m almost sure it will be – I’ll admit that James Potter was wrong in thinking that somebody outside of Hogwarts could break through, but he did well informing me that it was that- a bit unbelievable- possibility”.
“We – we’ve been practising! We’re allowed to practise every Sunday!”, Snape said this in a defensive tone.
“He’s right, Professor”, Lily nodded, “Professor Slughorn allowed us to practise Potions in his classroom and Severus – he was teaching me a kind of Transfiguration-“
“Were you taught how to change people’s looks?”, asked curiously Dumbledore, “I thought...”
“No, we weren’t – but Severus invented this spell himself and wanted to teach me and I thought it can be useful-“, Lily explained in one breath.
“Severus, can you show me this? I wouldn’t expect we have such advanced students... which is great, great...”
Snape transformed Lily’s head and the air was filled with admiring sounds of the people on the portraits, even Fawkes, the phoenix, squeaked in a high voice.
“Oh, this one is a true Slytherin”, Nigellus said, sounding very satisfied.
Severus looked proud and happy that he was appreciated. Lily thought that maybe it was his biggest need which was fulfilled that day.

The rest of the day was followed by learning and dreaming about Christmas. Terra seemed a bit annoyed with Sirius:
“He’s a bit boring, I can tell you. All he’d talk about are the Marauders- especially James. He won’t say a word about himself and his feelings, nothing. Potter is an interesting topic as I like him very much too”, Terra shrugged, “But how long can you listen to all this talking about their wanderings – where they haven’t been I really don’t know, it looks as if they’ve been everywhere, even on the top of the Whoomping Willow and in the Filch’s office stealing things when he didn’t know they were there – really unbelievable- , about Quidditch, and again about their wanderings and about Quidditch... if only he wasn’t so handsome... What are you laughing at???”, and she threw a pillow towards Lily and Angela sitting on the pillows opposite her.

Monday passed quickly because only Oracula and McGonagall were demanding the homework from them, the other professors gave them more freedom than usual. When the students of all four schools entered the compartments in the Hogwarts Express, Lily left her friends and went to the front of the train because she and Lupin – the prefects - had to take care of Hogwarts boys and girls.
When they were walking down the corridor, Remus stopped to chat a bit with the Ravenclaw quidditch player, Aurelius Smith, who was also his cousin.
“Are you going to visit us after Christmas?”, Aurelius asked with a hope in his voice, “We’d be really glad to see your mum”.
“I’d really love to but I’m afraid we can’t”, answered Remus, slightly disappointed, “Mum sent me an owl few days ago... Christmas this year will be everything but not wealthy...”
“You shouldn’t care about all this fuss with Christmas presents, if that’s what you mean, Remus”, Aurelius patted Lupin on his back, “If that’s a problem, we –“
Suddenly Lily realised that they were standing next to the compartment, which was filled by the Slytherins: Bellatrix, Narcissa, Rodolphus Lestrange and Avery. The door of the compartment wasn’t fully close: there was a small space which allowed her to hear some parts of the quiet conversation:
‘... the powers Dumbledore knows not... always knows when you lie... reading in your mind... that dumb old man can’t do this”, Bellatrix was talking to her friends, “Can you imagine...”, she had a blush on her face, her black heavy-lidded eyes shining, her black, long straight hair touched by Avery amazingly often.
“...I can’t promise, Aurelius’, she heard Lupin’s voice and tried not to listen to Lupin’s and Smith’s conversation so that she could hear the Slytherins more clearly.
“... ask Lucius”, the pale, blonde Narcissa answered in a conspiratory voice, “... see if he can arrange...”
“Who’s Lucius?”, Lily thought and then reminded herself: “Ah, it’s a man from the old pureblood family, Frank told me about them once, these ones who are wealthy and treat no-purebloods like rags”.
“... Avery, stop it!”, Narcissa sounded furious, “You should appreciate his extraordinary possibilities to arrange...”
“... hope James won’t let you win!!!”, Remus grinned and suddenly the compartment’s door burst open:
“What are you doing here, you filthy Mudblood?”, Bellatrix asked with a smirk on her face which could be even beautiful if there wasn’t the superiority on it so often, “I know, I know... you wanted to clean our shoes... or were you pretending to hang around to be able to overhear our conversation?”
Lupin reacted at once: he took his wand out of the pocket of his old school robes and aimed it at Bellatrix: “Repeat it, but before you do it, mind that we’re Prefects”.
“I’m a prefect as well as you are, kiddies”, Avery stood up, his wand at the ready, “So is Bellatrix”, “Try us if you want but don’t forget to wipe the mud before you hex us, Evans”, he jeered, pointing his wand at Lily with her wand out.
“Capitem mutare!”, Lily shouted, smiling and Avery’s head became a head of a fifty- year-old woman, “Is that better?”, she grinned, looking at surprised Slytherins. Narcissa let a quiet giggle.
“Do you want to keep the head forever or you prefer not to be so fast in offending me the next time?”, Lily laughed and Remus joined. “If you choose the second option, and there isn’t Madam healing here, you know – I’ll take the hex off you when we’ll be leaving the train. Come on, Remus, we have to patrol the other compartments”.
Roaring with laughter, they left the four Slytherins and went ahead.

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Old October 1st, 2005, 6:53 pm
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“Mum, Dad, Petunia! I’m so glad to see you finally! I’ve been missing you so much!”, Lily shouted out loud, hanging on her mother’s chest and kissing her, “It’s so nice to be back home!”
Her parents were looking at her, apparently proud of their pretty and beautiful daughter. Lily’s father, a handsome brown- haired, green-eyed man hugged her in the possibly strongest way, “Glad to see you, hun”, he smiled warmly.
“Tunia, I’m back!”, Lily smiled and hugged her sister, who gave back the hug with an unreadable face expression, “Aren’t you glad?”
“Of course I am”, Petunia answered, smiling lightly, “We haven’t seen each other for a few months”.
Whatever Lily’s sister said, it wasn’t much convincible. You could notice the reserve in her behaviour, even her body language spoke for itself: she stood a bit further to Lily than her parents did, she also kept her arms crossed. When Lily looked at her, she straightened her arms and said: “Big Bear was missing you”.
Big Bear was their dog. He looked like a bear indeed: his huge, light and dark brown body, strong teeth resembled a bear from a forest. He wasn’t wild in any sense, though; it was the cutest dog on the earth.
“Come on, girls”, Octavia, Lily’s mother ordered, “If we don’t hurry, we’ll miss the train”.
“Right”, admitted Arnold Evans, “Come on, quickly!”
They all helped Lily with her luggage and hurried towards the other platform. Dad was walking first, Lily and Octavia behind him and Petunia was last. She seemed not as interested in Lily’s arrival as her parents.
Compared to Lily, Petunia looked rather ugly. She inherited her grandfather’s horse face and little eyes, but she was slim and she kept herself straight as if she had a lot of dignity in her.
“For God’s sake, Petunia, walk faster!”, her mother shouted, panting, “If we miss the train, the next will be in six hours!”
“I’m going, I’m going”, she answered and hastened.

When they finally reached the town they were living in, it had been already dark. Fortunately they were living quite close the railway station. Lily was breathing in the smell of the river, which was a bit lighter because winter killed the disgusting smell of the fish and filled the air with a cold, strong smell. The streets were snow-covered, but some of the neighbours removed the snow from the pavement before their little houses. Lily thought about Severus, who was traveling in the same train, but he came into the other carriage: what would he see at his home? She had seen that nobody had come to greet him and to take him back home. All the Marauders, Frank, Alice had somebody who was glad to see them and Lily knew that there had been very few ones who weren’t greeted by at least one member of the family.
“Dad, how’s the work?”, Lily asked curiously. She knew that the times were sometimes hard for the fishermen, especially if there was a huge rivalry and not much fish to catch.
“Not that bad, but it could be better”, Arnold answered, “Don’t worry, you all will get your Christmas presents, maybe not that rich as I’d like to, but still... And you two will get money from me to buy Christmas presents for your friends”.
“How many friends do you have in this- er- place?’, Petunia asked, looking as innocent as she could, “Has the number increased since the last school year?’
“Well... I’m not sure... Maybe one person more... And you?”, Lily smiled, “How’s it going at St Maria’s?”
“I’m still friends with Clara and Liz”, her sister answered stiffly, “And there are also some boys I rather like”.
“Finally we’re at home, girls!”, their mother clapped her hands, “Wipe your shoes and come in! We’ll make a delicious supper!”

After Lily had kissed her dog straight into his mouth ( “It’s disgusting!”, Petunia hissed, shocked), checked if something had changed in their room during her absence, she said:
“Tunia, come on! Let’s help our mother!” and went straight to the kitchen sink to wash potatoes and onions. Petunia stood up and said with a pretension in her voice:
“I always help mum in the kitchen, right, Mum?”
“Of course, honey”, Octavia answered absent-mindedly and while their father was sitting on the old, dark red armchair, she asked Lily:
“So tell me, Lily... how are you doing at school? We’re all so proud of you! Some neighbours from here can’t believe what you can do! They say that I’m crazy and I lie that there’s a school for wizards and witches! I’d even say they are maybe jealous that we have a witch as a daughter! I can bet they’d like you to conjure Muggle money for them or to help them with their illnesses”, she laughed loudly.
“It’s true, they whisper that Mum’s mental behind her back”, Arnold nodded, “Whatever they say, I see that deep inside their hearts they’re jealous about the possibilities you may be provided with”
“I think I’m not that bad”, Lily grinned, “In fact, Professor Slughorn- he teaches Potions- says that I’m the best at it, Professor Flitwick says that I do well at charms, I’m also good at Defense Against the Dark Arts and in Herbology... But I’m not that good in Divination”, she admitted honestly, “And also Severus Snape is getting better and better at Potions, I think it’s only the question of time and he’s going to be as good at it as me”.
“I’m also a good student, am I not, Mum, Dad?”, Petunia apparently demanded more attention, “St Maria’s an excellent school, the level of the teaching process is unbelievably high”.
“You’re right, honey”, said Octavia and patted her on the back, “Tunia is very keen on History and Latin”.
“Latin! Many magic incantations are based on it, that’s what Professor Dumbledore said”, Lily informed, “But it’s not an exact Latin, you know... It has Latin roots in it - Bear, give that sausage back!”

When Lily and Petunia were lying in their beds, trying to fall asleep, Lily noticed that her sister was continuously fidgeting.
“Are you sleeping, Tunia?”, Lily whispered and shook uncontrollably because of the cold air in the room.
“No, I’m not”, Petunia answered in a sulky tone.
“Petunia, listen”, Lily murmured, worried, “I can see something’s wrong with you. Can you tell me what it is?”
“Yes, I can”, she answered desperately, “You’re back and you’re our parents’ most beloved, admired daughter again and it’s even worse for me while you’re here, because I have to watch it!”, she explained furiously, “They seem not to notice me and my good grades and they talk about you all the year, how talented, nice, good-hearted you are, and they don’t appreciate ME, and I always do my best but it seems I’m too NORMAL!”. Petunia was breathing deeply, furious, “You wanted to know. So you know it now”.
“Tunia, sweetie, I’m sure that they...”
“I DON’T WANT TO TALK ABOUT THAT, DO YOU UNDERSTAND?” she yelled, got up and went to the kitchen.

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Old October 3rd, 2005, 11:36 am
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Lily sat alone in the room she was sharing together with her sister, packing Christmas gifts she had purchased. A rather expensive, pretty green scarf for mum (“It’ll look great in contrast to her red hair”, she thought), a bottle of men’s perfumes for her dad and a nice ones for Petunia ( “I did them myself, haha, I wonder what they’ll say”), a group picture with Sirius given to her by Frank with a book about the newest spells which should make you prettier for Terra (“I hope she won’t set her face on fire!”), a book about the greatest remedial potions and sweets (“Angie could kill to get more candies”, she grinned). Lily also bought a gift for Snape (“It will be nice for him to get something for Christmas... I’m afraid he can get a hit by a whisky bottle at his head as a Christmas gift”, she thought sadly). This present was a newest hot hit: a book about how to transfigure people into animals, step by step (“I hope he won’t do himself any harm”). She asked her little owl, Clemence, to deliver these gifts one-by-one.
“Packing presents for your freaky friends?”, Petunia’s horse-face looked even uglier with her malicious face expression, but Lily was patient to her.
“Petunia, can we talk for a while?”, she asked gently.
“If you like... What?”, Lily’s sister looked at her suspiciously
“Tunia, listen to me... It’s not like you think. Our parents do love you and appreciate you and your skills, I just know that. It’s just-“
“Maybe they do”, Petunia broke the monologue angrily, “But they’d prefer me to be like you, a pretty, talented witch. I’m not and-“
“Do listen to me, please! The school I learn at is different than yours, that’s right. We learn different subjects, we practise different things, but believe me, girls and boys who go to this school are the same like you, they only can do other things... You can do maths, biology and do on and I can do magic. I can’t do a lot of things you learn at St Maria’s and you can’t do things I learn at Hogwarts. Mum and Dad let me invite a boy who studies at Hogwarts too. You know him. It’s Severus Snape, he lives at the end of our street. I’ll be very glad if you meet him, I know you’ve been omitting him for all these years. You’ll see he’s a normal, mentally healthy boy -you apparently think that I’m mental”
“Yeah”, Petunia hissed, “You can’t do maths at all, can you? Liar! You’d been learning it before! And I can’t do magic at all, I can’t learn it, that’s why parents prefer you, not me! Prettier, better educated, getting a knowledge you can use in a real life. Forgive me, Lily, I’ve been pretending everything’s all right for so long... I’ve decided to stop pretending to you. And I don’t want to meet this ugly spidery Severus, you won’t force me!”, she spat and left the room, leaving Lily very, very sad and feeling guilty.
When Lily went to church on the Boxing Day and then came back to the house, Petunia wasn’t there. Mum said that she went to visit her friend Clara, who lived at the other side of the town. Lily unpacked gifts from people who loved or apparently liked her or even gave her the present because they knew that the custom forces them to (“Petunia”, Lily sighed). She was surprised that she got a gift from James Potter (“And I’m so mean to him! I haven’t sent him any gifts”, she blushed). It was a beautiful dark green, shiny clasp made of lots of jewels. Lily read the note inside of the little pack for a fifteenth time:
For the prettiest and nicest girl at Hogwarts, even if she’s often mean to me. I hope that some day you’ll be mine.
“What did he mean by that? He wants to wait for me till the end of his life?”, she asked herself, “I bet he won’t change, he’s so conceited as if it was in his blood. The clasp is cute, though”.
Then she looked at the gift from Severus. Yeah, he gave her something too! It was a navy-blue quill.
Every time you need me, take this quill in your hands and write “Snivelly”. I’ve bewitched it, I’ll know you call me. You’ll get an answer back,
Severus Snape.
“Interesting...”, she was thinking, “And also practical when you have this man who calls himself Lord Voldemort and his friends who are called the Death Eaters. I’m afraid that all this conversation in the train compartment could be about Bellatrix’s and company attempts to make acquaintances with them. That’s unbelievable! How can you be interested in this stuff, how can you want to become the Death Eater? To murder innocent people? And why Severus’s so interested in the Dark Arts? Does he say the truth, that he has a choice to use the knowledge against the others or not?”, she sighed and continued thinking:
“I can quite understand him, being interested in such things as he has such a family! It looks as if he had to defend himself of his father... Has he ever used the Dark Magic to harm somebody? Take James or Sirius or the other two. They hex everybody who stands in their way, even if there’s no really serious reason. Is Severus with his passion for the Dark Arts a bad boy and James, Peter and Sirius good because I haven’t seen them using dark spells? But they hex others far more often!”
Lily had a headache, so she curled herself in her bed, dreaming about He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named wanting to kill her and about her writing quickly the word “Snivelly” on a piece of parchment. She heard cries, and somebody was laughing, somebody was pleading, then Petunia came into the room Lily was in and started laughing madly, crying: “I told you that you were a freak! You have what you’ve deserved!”
It wasn’t a nice dream, not at all.

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Old October 4th, 2005, 11:33 am
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Sixth Year
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“Lily, you have a guest! Come to the kitchen, I’ve prepared a delicious cake, we’re going out to the church!”, Octavia shouted loudly, “I hope that the new priest won’t throw us out of the building... He knows you’re a witch and he isn’t tolerant. Not at all”.
Lily came down into the kitchen and saw her Mum and Dad in warm winter coats, ready to leave. Severus Snape was sitting in the corner of the table, feeling apparently uncomfortable because the stool he sat was too small for his height. He looked like an adult on the kid’s bike.
“Hi, Lily”, he said and smiled gently.
“Hi”, she answered and asked: “Fancy a cake? My mum’s baked it”.
“Sure”, he nodded and added clumsily: “Thank you for the present, I wasn’t expecting-“
“Not at all”, Lily replied, warmness in her eyes, “I was glad to get something from you too... It was interesting, such a not commonplace gift. Did you have a good time at Christmas?” she asked and as soon as she finished, she realized that she shouldn’t have said this.
Snape looked hurt for a while and then answered: “So-so. It may be”, then he looked carefully at the green clasp in her hair and noticed, smiling: “You’ve got a very beautiful clasp. It really suits you well. Is it new? A Christmas present?”
“Yes. From James Potter”, she admitted and blushed at once, realizing that maybe she shouldn’t have said this too... It will certainly cause some mean comments about her Griffindor mate.
“Potter...”, Severus said and looked at the ceiling for a short while, then he asked: “Do you like him?
“Well... A good question”, Lily said in a faint voice, “I neither like or dislike him, I can’t tell you the truth. I just don’t know. At least he’s a Griffindor, I mean...”
“At least?- Are you trying to say that only Griffindors are worth your – ah- sympathy?”, Severus asked her, sounding a bit maliciously, and shook his black-haired head.
“And what would you say about people from different houses? Are they worth your sympathy?’, Lily asked trying to defend herself and it apparently worked.
“Me? Er- that’s a good question”, he answered, abashed and suddenly they were bursting from laughter. They were laughing and laughing until they felt they couldn’t laugh no more because it may end tragically to their stomachs.
“To answer your question-“, Severus glanced at her quickly, “I’m a bit puzzled and lost and I don’t know what to think in some – er- particular cases”.
Lily’s heart started pumping faster. Was she wrong or Severus’s confession sounded very personal as if it concerned them both?
“Take Potter and Black, for example”, Snape continued, “It’s a mutual hate between us and I don’t think that anything can change this. I can’t stand them, they can’t stand me- that’s how it works. They have some certain talents, though, I’m not stupid to think otherwise”.
“A certain talent for being in trouble-yes”, Lily rolled her eyes, “You’re not better!”, she grinned, “I can tell you they’re very good students. Really, they are excellent at Transfiguration, McGonagall praises them and you know her- she isn’t that fast at praising. Sirius is good at Potions and Charms, James exceeds expectations in Defence Against the Dark Arts, Charms, Herbology, Quidditch...”- she paused, looking at Snape’s face, who was apparently fighting himself so that he wouldn’t say nothing mean. “They’re good students and no wonder that they’re – er- a bit conceited”.
“Yeah. Does a student who’s good at many subject have to prance himself in front of the whole school like Potter?”, he said in a bored voice, “Let’s change the subject, Lily”.
They were silent for a while and Lily started boiling water to make a cup of tea for them both, “I’ll make a real Muggle drink”, she smiled, “You’ve drunk tea, I suppose?”
“Yeah, my father drinks it. When he doesn’t drink alcohol. Which means he drinks tea maybe five times a year”, he said bitterly and paused. “I’d like to invite you to my place too, but... I’d prefer not”.
“I understand”, she nodded, “Is he against witches and wizards in general? Or only against your mother?”, she asked feeling silly, as she had already known the answer.
“He’s against the whole magical world if it doesn’t bring him benefits”, he said furiously, “He’s lately got “The Daily Prophet” my mum subscribed... He’s read it and he knows about He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named and Dementors on the loose... I even don’t know if my mother and father- oh- I don’t want to talk about that, you see... ”
“I understand”, Lily repeated quietly and touched his hand gently. She felt that Severus felt much better to have a possibility to talk about his feelings to somebody who listens to what he says. “I understand...”
Snape looked straight into Lily’s green eyes. His eyes looked as if he surrendered, surrendered to her understanding, to her warmness, to her who’s been listening to him, who hasn’t underlined the differences between Griffindors and Slytherins... Then his eyes turned left, on a green clasp from James and his eyes became cold and angry. Lily noticed it and took her hand away without a word. Severus glanced at her and he, himself, took her hand in his hand instead. The look on his face became hungry and mad. Lily heard her heart pumping as fast as it possibly could. The cups of tea were lying on the table, intact. Their faces were getting closer and closer...
Suddenly they’ve heard a noise of an open door. Somebody came into the house.
“What have we been talking about lately? The Dementors?”, Lily said loudly, feeling stupid, “I don’t know as much about them as I should... Can you tell me more?’
The sound of somebody unzipping a jacket broke the silence, then Snape started talking:
“Dementors are hooded dark creatures. They can suck your soul out and make you like a plant: no memories, no feelings, it’s better to die than to live this way. They are on Riddle’s employee at the moment. Just imagine what they are capable to do with all these people who don’t agree to become Death –‘
He paused. Petunia came into the kitchen and was looking at Severus.
“Hi”, he said and returned her unpleasant look.
“Hi”, she answered, “I won’t be bothering you...” and turned straight into the girls’ room.
“Tunia... “, Lily started but her sister had already left the kitchen.

“See you at Hogwarts, then”, Snape said and looked at Lily frowning, “Lily...’ he added and it was something soft in his voice.
Lily looked at him, walking on the snowy street, dressed in black. She felt torn. He was a Slytherin, she was a Griffindor. She felt he was like an unread book... and as much as she tried not to make differences between Slytherins and Griffindors, she couldn’t say she wasn’t at all afraid which side he will choose when forced to choose between good or bad. It was something inexpressible in him. She knew he could do good if only he wanted and was afraid that his family and school life can make him wanting revenge.
Severus’s tiny figure finally disappeared and she returned home.

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Old October 6th, 2005, 11:52 am
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“Mum, Dad, hurry up! The train leaves in two minutes!”, Lily panted, running towards the barrier leading to platform nine and three quarters.
“We’re doing our best, honey!”, Octavia was holding a huge cage with Lily’s owl, “We’ll be on time, don’t worry”.
When Lily quickly kissed her mum and dad good-bye, she found her two friends in a compartment. She hugged them and left her luggage; while turning towards the front of the train, where the Hogwarts prefects had already been, she saw that Frank Longbottom, James Potter, Sirius Black and Peter Pettigrew were walking towards the compartment where Terra and Angela sat, James had already put his hand on the compartment handle.
“Hello, Evans”, he smiled, “Long time, no see”, and glanced at her hair: “I’ve noticed you like the Christmas present I sent you”.
“Yeah, it’s beautiful, thank you”, Lily nodded, “I really like wearing it... I’m sorry but I haven’t thought about a gift for you... I wasn’t expecting-‘
“I see you’ve come back to your straight hair”, Sirius joined the conversation.
“Oh, I’ve come to it before Christmas”, Lily grinned at Sirius, “I didn’t want my parents and sister to die of shock”.
“Coming back to the presents...”, James said loudly sounding as if he wanted to concentrate Lily’s attention on himself, “Evans... What would you say if I asked you for one innocent, nice kiss?’
“I’d say dream on”, Lily answered, shaking her head, “I may pat you on your back instead” – and she did like she said. Her friends burst with laughter, “I’m sorry, I have to join the other prefects, Lupin must have gone there already”.
As she turned on her heel, she noticed Regulus Black who was standing near them. He was keeping a greyish rat in his hand.
“Sirius, you’ve forgotten about him”, he said angrily, “How many times do I have to carry your stuff after you?”
“You did it maybe for the third time in your entire pathetic life and you’re doing such a fuss, little bro”, Sirius answered lazily and went to greet Terra.

All teachers become more and more demanding. Most fifth-year students were spending all of their free time on writing essays, practising Charms, sitting in the library where they were continually warned by the thin librarian, Mrs Pince.
“Can you breathe there?”, Angela hissed furiously, as she was trying to search the notes about how to resist an Imperius curse in the books, to be handed to professor Moody on Thursday, “You can’t eat here, you can’t write on parchment with your quill too near to her precious books, you can’t even cough here!”
“Look who’s sitting two tables behind you, Lily!”, Terra whispered, “Or better don’t look, I’ll tell you. Snape! He’s been staring at you for quite a long time!”
“Yeah?”, Lily looked as if she wasn’t interested, “How much time?’
“About half a minute”, smiled Terra, “I’m wondering what’s going on during your private lessons...”
“Half a minute isn’t long”, Lily replied; her hand went to her red hair and touched checking the green clasp, “You may come to the dungeons if you want to study with us”.
“Oh, I wouldn’t like to break this so-called studying!”, Terra smiled cunningly, “I suppose you both-“
“How dare you speak that loud here!!!”, Mrs Pince hissed furiously, “It should be a temple of silence, a temple of widening your knowledge!”, she spat, “One more loud word and it’s going to be the end of your studying for today!”
“She’s louder than I, isn’t she?’, Angela closed her books and gave them back to Mrs Pince, “I’ve decided that it’s the end of my studying for today”, she said in a falsely sweet voice, “I reminded myself that I have the necessary book in our dormitory. Bye, girls”.

All the students seemed very excited lately. It was an important reason for that: professor Dumbledore let the students go to Hogsmeade village on Sunday; it wasn’t the nearest Sunday, though, but the next after that week’s one. Lily was sitting in the Griffindor common room, trying to overcome the noise of overexcited students. She had a six-inch essay for McGonagall to write. Wild blush on her face, her hair bushy as it rarely was, she kept messing up her hair, rolling her eyes with a wild look from the heavy, brown-covered book to her parchment.
“...he followed us! What if he discovers...”, she heard, trying to concentrate on how to make a puppy from a bird’s feather. The possibility to write something what made sense was almost equal to zero.
“Nah, I don’t think he does...”, Pettigrew voice sounded doubtful, “Not when James....”
“... go to the cafe with me? We’d be able to talk about it more”, Frank said.
“... gloves which are invisible when you wear them and they still warm your hands...’, Hestia Jones was apparently looking forward to buying a pair, because she sounded excited and she did have beautiful hands, no wonder that she wanted to show them all the time, even in winter.
“... nasty, filthy jerk!”, Sirius was rabid; „He keeps poking his overgrown nose in places he shouldn’t! Just imagine what would happen if he told...”
“Ah, Snape”, Lily thought, and then stood up, getting closer to the two Marauders.
“What happened? Snape knows Lupin’s secret?”, she asked curiously.
“Thank God not yet”, Sirius answered, “But he keeps following us all the time, I wish he stopped. And James knows that you were with Snape in the dungeons before Christmas, he’s afraid you can tell him.”.
“Listen to me, Black”, Lily shook her head angrily, “I have no idea how Potter knew this but it’s true. I was practicing potions with him”.
“Wait- what were you- YOU WERE PRACTISING POTIONS WITH HIM?”, Sirius was bulging with hate.
“Be quiet or I start shouting about Remus!”, threatened Lily, “Yes, I did, I was teaching him Potions and we were also practising Transfiguration, he’s good at it”.
“How could you? You’re fraternizing with the enemy!!!”, Black hissed furiously, “Why him? Why not somebody else???”
“Oh, don’t start again”, Lily barked, “He’s got certain talents...’
“James’s excellent at Transfiguration too! You don’t even know – and you don’t practise with him-“
“Oh, stop it”, Lily said quietly because some of the students seemed to overhear them, “You can promise James that I won’t say a word about Remus to Snape”.
“Lily... I don’t understand you”, said Pettigrew.
“That’s your problem. Because you don’t understand me, I can’t get closer to you four”, she answered and went to Terra and Angela, who came into the common room.

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Old October 7th, 2005, 1:58 pm
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Sixth Year
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@all the people who read my fanfiction: please leave a comment in the feedback section, it won't kill you, you know I like writing for myself, but in general I write the story for you, guys! I see that people read it, so you'll make me happy by leaving your comments!


The week was passing by quickly. Terra started going out with Sirius, but she didn’t seem as happy as Lily supposed she should have been. “Maybe she fancies another Griffindor”, Angie commented with a light shade of venom in her voice. Poor Angie apparently was disappointed that she had nobody to go out with. Having face which you wouldn’t call “pretty” wasn’t nice at all: she was a kind of a girl whom nobody noticed unless she was in a company of popular, pretty girls.
“Why don’t you seem happy? You’re with Black, you should’ve been jumping of joy every five minutes”, Lily muttered to Terra so that the boys sitting at the desk in front of them wouldn’t hear.
“It’s not that I’m not happy, he’s handsome after all”, Lily’s friend grinned trying to hide she is involved in some conversation: McGonagall focused all her attention to her. Terra pointed her wand at the silver feather lying on her desk and said the incantation. Unfortunately, the feather didn’t change into a puppy, it only flew upwards and then fell down.
“It’s not a proper wand movement, Miss Shacklebolt”, McGonagall pointed out severely, “You move your wand too fast”.
Terra tried again and murmured to her two friends: “He’s an excellent kisser but all he can talk about lately is Potter, Potter, Quidditch, Lupin, Potter, Transfiguration, Potter, Potter –“
“Miss Shacklebolt! If I see one more movement of your lips which won’t remind me of the incantation, Griffindor will loose ten points”, McGonagall threatened and girls became quiet.

The Defence Against the Dark Arts with professor Augustus Moody, who was said to have been an Auror before he joined the Hogwarts staff, were interesting but also a bit frightening. He told them that almost all his family was in Griffindor and that his younger brother, Alastor, was an Auror too. He once told their students about his work: it was highly dangerous, as you were an easy target for these who called themselves the Death Eaters. They dreamed about Aurors joining their group and seemed not to save anyone to try to convince him. Aurors were an excellent source of information to Voldemort’s allies. In case when the Aurors didn’t like to betray the ministry, they often tortured them to the lost of their minds or killed them, using the Unforgivable Curses.
“You must be cautious! Extremely cautious!”, Augustus was speaking in his loud, strong voice which sounded as a thunder, “The Death Eaters can be everywhere! One moment of inattention and you can be easily imperiused or tortured in the other way, even killed!”, he thundered, “You must practise how to resist all these curses, again and again, the danger is coming! Potter, come here”, he asked James, “You, together with Lupin, Black and Longbottom were the only ones in this classroom who’d been able to resist this curse lately. We’ll see if you can resist this curse today. I’m warning you, today my breakthrough will be more powerful”.
James stood in front of Moody’s desk, apparently not scared at all. The tall, well-built teacher raised his wand and yelled: “Imperio!” The whole class seemed stop breathing. They saw him swaying, then staggering; suddenly he started walking towards the table, when Augustus Pye and Martha Myers were sitting. He started uncontrollably shaking and then fell on the floor with a loud “bang”.
“Ennervate!”, Moody said loudly and the spell did what it should do: Potter was conscious again.
“Excellent, James, excellent!”, Moody was excited and satisfied, “Remind the class what I wanted to force you to do last time and tell them what your resisted today”.
“Thank you, Professor”, Potter smiled happily, “Last time Professor Moody tried to force me to open the door. Today he told me to come closer to Augustus and Martha’s table and to put Augustus book on Martha’s head”.
Most of the class cast Potter admiring looks. They knew that resisting this curse was very hard to do.
“The next ones! Maybe Remus Lupin this time?”
After Remus resisted to water the flowers, Frank didn’t agree to clean the blackboard, Sirius refused to jump up and down, Moody chose Lily and Alice. Lily managed to stop Moody ordering her to tie and loosen her shoelaces (it was extremely hard for her, though, she already touched them). Alice’s round, nice face was shining from sweat, but she didn’t broke her pencil. The rest of the class couldn’t resist Moody’s demands.
“You should’ve concentrate on pulling my request back!”, Moody repeated, “Think that you don’t want to do this, you don’t want to be my puppet! Practise what the Muggles call “assertiveness’! You always can say: “No!”.
When the lesson was over and the classroom filled with students’ animated voices commenting achievements of one another, Lily came closer to James and patted him on his shoulder:
“You did great, Potter. I think you could be a good Auror”.
James looked at Lily, surprised and answered: “Thank you, Evans. I’ll think about this. You did well too”.
“Yes, you did!”, Remus added enthusiastically, “Peter almost hyperventilated watching you!”.
Lily thought for a while and a sudden idea came into her head. What if she bashed James without any serious reason? What if he was such an excellent Hogwarts student everybody was talking about?
“Did you know you’d manage?”, Lily asked Peter curiously and before she could even think, she heard the answer: “Yeah, I did. I’ve always been able to handle difficult situations and I knew that I’d be able to handle this, too”, he straightened himself proudly.
“Have you ever had to handle abusive parents?”, she asked quietly, shaking her head in disbelief.
“Why are you asking... what came to your head? No!”, James answered.
“I had”, Sirius admitted.
“Nevermind”, Lily paused the conversation, “Nevermind. You aren’t able to handle some situations sometimes”, she joined her two friends and went away.
“Wait a minute”, James muttered, “I was angry at her as Sirius told me about her private lessons with Snivelly and now what? How does she do it? It’s so hard not to like her”.
“You fancy her, mate”, Black patted him on his shoulder, “Perhaps you see her throughout the pink glasses”.
“I don’t think so”, sighed Prongs, “There’s something about her – it’s hard to say. She has the power, yeah, she has”.

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Old October 8th, 2005, 7:44 pm
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Sixth Year
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The next Quidditch match including the Griffindor team was planned on Saturday. It was an extremely cold and snowy day. All Hogwarts students were wearing warm and thick clothes, stamping their feet to create some warm. It was snowing heavily and you couldn’t see the match properly, so most of the students didn’t even notice when James Potter had caught the snitch after an hour.
“And finally James Potter catches the Snitch! I say finally, because we’re all frozen to the bones here, Professor McGonagall”, the commentator, Andromeda Black, said, “I have no idea how he saw it in this snow! It’s an excellent Seeker! Griffindor wins one hundred and ninety points to forty, Ravenclaw loses! With all the points I know about, Griffindors are leaders, there are Slytherins close to them, they loose only twenty points! Then we have Hufflepuff and Ravenclaw ex aequo, losing one hundred points to Slytherins! Ladies and gentlemen, that’s the end for today, Andromeda Black was commenting for you and good-bye!”
“Bellatrix must have drunk all your Felix Potion”, Angela said bitterly, “I saw her snogging Rodolphus when I tried to watch how Potter was going”.
“You know what, I think that the Felix helped her to keep Rodolphy... it’s far away after the results of drinking. I can’t stand the thought I could do nothing to her... Wait a minute-“, Lily spoke with deliberation, “I have an idea, but I have to think about it more...”
“Hey, girls, do you think we can meet in Hogsmeade next week?”, Sirius came closer and put his arm on Terra’s shoulder. It was a bit uncomfortable for them two, as they were dressed in furry thick coats, but few Hufflepuff girls looked at Terra with a visible jealousy in their eyes, “Can we?”
“Who’s we?” , asked Lily doubtfully, “Do you mean you, James, Remus and Peter?’
‘Yeah, exactly. And Frank with Alice. They seem to fancy themselves!”, he answered, smiling, his teeth white in his smile as a snow, “No wonder half of the school girls fancy him”, Lily thought and smiled.
“I’ll go”, Terra said and kissed Sirius at the cheek, “And you?”
“I’m not sure, I’ll see”, Lily answered, thinking about other possibilities, “I’ll let you know”
“And I’ll go with Terra”, promised Angie, looking apparently pleased.
“Deal”, Black patted Angie on her back and said: “Lily, think about it. We’d be glad to talk to and drink a butterbeer with some cool girls”.
“You and your butterbeer...” Terra rolled her eyes and laughed. Sirius returned to his mates and all the students were pushing through the crowd to enter the castle as fast as they could. The cold was getting worse: you felt as if one of the Hogwarts ghosts went through you, or even worse.

Sunday was passing quickly and the news of the day was that James Potter and Sirius Black hexed Slytherin’s student Bertram Aubrey: his head was double-sized. It all ended for them with a detention: they were told to go to the Forbidden Forest with Hagrid when it was getting dark (and it was getting darker very fast those days). The boys were angry that it ruined their Sunday, because they had to write essays for different professors twice as fast as they used to.
“I’ll get a bad mark, I can see it”, Potter said, scratching his quill on the parchment as if there was a fire somewhere.
“One or two bad marks won’t kill you both”, Lily said angrily, “You shouldn’t have hexed Aubrey. I have no idea what he did to you”.
“Well... he said Griffindors were losers and they’d always be”, James said in a defensive tone.
“And you cared for that? Unbelievable!”, Lily shook her red-haired head, “Or maybe you simply wanted to show off?”
“Stop it, Lily”, Marlene McKinnon, the Griffindor chaser said, “You were no better when you hexed Avery”.
Lily blushed and then said: “I had really more important reasons but I’m not in love in my did as these two seem to be’, she nodded to them and went out to meet Snape in the dungeons.

“Lily”, Snape nodded his head and jumped up to his feet.
“Severus”, she nodded too and smiled, “I see you’ve already done a potion. What is it? I think I haven’t done it yet”.
“It’s an Euphoria potion”, he explained, “I’ve thought that it would be great to practise some potions in advance. We haven’t made it yet during the Potions classes. We can be even better at Potions if we want”.
“You’re even more ambitious than I thought”, Lily grinned, “How did you get a recipe? Library?”
“No. I’ve got my mother’s old Potions book for sixth-years. I used it and the potion was bad at first... I thought I may improve it. I added some poppy to it and stirred it a few more times. It works better, you’re in an heavy euphoria state”, he grinned and again his sincere smile was something very surprising when it showed itself on his sallow face.
“So you’ve taken this potion? Are you under its influence?”, Lily giggled, “I think so, I can see you’re more agitated than always”.
“Yep, I’ve drunk a little”, Severus jumped off the desk, “Fancy drinking it? They say it’s only addictive when drunk regularly. Then it causes quite brain damage. When you take it once, nothing really serious should happen”.
“OK, I’ll try, but only half a spoon”, Lily agreed. “Have you ever tried this?”
“No, I haven’t”, answered Snape and poured the liquid onto the spoon, “I warn you, it’s very sweet and it will last for only about three minutes. These effects have begun slowly wearing off in my case”, he put the spoon into Lily’s mouth and she swallowed it.
“Mmmh, I like it! Very yummy!”, she said dreamily and licked her lips, “The taste of vanilla is well recognizable... And I feel something like a Muggle coffee in it...’
“Because there is coffee”, Severus admitted and glanced at her pretty-shaped mouth for a second, “And many more magical ingredients like powdered leaves of flowers... How are you feeling?’, he asked, grinning widely.
“I feel like doing something”, Lily said after a while, “Like jumping of joy or something like that! Oh, this feeling is absolutely gorgeous, as if I was extremely happy, relaxed, and very lively altogether! Severus!”, suddenly she came closer, very excited, “Let’s do something crazy!”
“Like what?’, he asked, his body full of energy, his voice sounding very agitated, “What would you like?’
“I don’t know, I’d like to do something stupid! I’d like to scream to the whole world how excellent I feel!”, Lily shouted.
“Hmm...’, he came closer, “It’s hard to concentrate on something in this situation. I wish I could shower you in some extraordinary proposals but I’m afraid I have no idea, unless...”
He gently touched her face and looked into her pretty, almond-shaped green eyes. She didn’t protest but looked into his eyes like hypnotized. Her lips were semi-open, the blush on her face, her breasts waving, her skin feeling so tense...
“No”, he said.
She looked at him surprised and disappointed. “No?”
“I can’t do anything with you under influence of the potion”, Snape explained with a painful look on his face, “I don’t want us to regret it”.
“Shhh... It’s wearing off”, Lily answered, and touched his hand gently, “Severus...”
“I’d like to do something crazy without the potion working”.
He looked at her with mad glint in his eyes and couldn’t wait no more. They pressed their lips with hunger and kissed so passionately as if the whole world didn’t exist. When their lips finally separated, they looked at themselves, blushing.
“Lily?”, asked Snape, “Won’t you regret it?”
“I don’t know”, she told him, a dreamily look in her eyes. “Give me some time”.
Severus kissed her gently on her forehead and asked again: “Lily? May I show you something?”
When she nodded, he took the wand out of his pocket and waved it this way so that his wand wrote “Snivelly” in the air. The letters were burning, a yellow-red light. Then he waved his wand: the letters changed their position and formed an inscription: “Sev’ n’ Lily”.
She looked at him, surprised. He told her honestly: “You see? It’s not that bad to be named like this!”
Lily slightly shivered and looked at Snape nervously. Her face burning, her hair swinging in a hurry when she went fast towards the door, “Give me some time, please. I’ll contact you”, she said quickly and went out of the classroom.

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Old October 10th, 2005, 11:36 am
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Sixth Year
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It wasn’t an easy night for Lily. She had told her two friends that she liked Severus very much. They were surprised, but they were expecting that. Terra admitted that she’d felt Lily might like him as Lily had always kept saying that she knew Snape better than others and seemed to tolerate him. Angie was much more skeptical, saying that working with a Slytherin wasn’t a wise move as it was said that almost everybody who joined the Death Eaters group, came from Slytherin, “And Severus’s exceptionally good at the Defence Against the Dark Arts, everybody knows that”, she concluded, “Why wouldn’t he be so interested in this subject if he wouldn’t link his future to the Dark Arts?”.
Lily was lying in her bed, forcing herself to catch some sleep and the more often she was telling herself that she needed this, the more angry she became and sleep didn’t come. She felt confused because what she felt towards Severus was very complicated.
“I can say I like him, I even can say I... want to feel his lips on mine again. Oh, I won’t lie- I miss it so much... I like being in his presence, he’s more mature than the other boys I know. Or perhaps there even are boys as mature as he is, take Frank and Remus for example, but... I wouldn’t like to be kissed by them, that’s the difference”, her mind was speeding feverishly, “What does Severus think?”
Severus was lying in his bed in the Slytherin dormitory, his eyes wide open, staring at the dark ceiling where you could notice some dancing light shadows of the snow outside. Something deep inside him was burning from desire, from happiness, he was missing Lily like crazy, his mind was galloping, thoughts fast as lightings. Lily was a person he was yearning to, she was somebody who listened to him, who cared...
“She’s a Griffindor”, he thought and this realized him again how difficult it can be...
“He’s from Slytherin”, Lily thought about that time, “As much as I’d like to believe that he’s not like them, like Bellatrix, Avery and so on, as much as I try, I can’t be absolutely sure... He tends to being appreciated, to be somebody big and if the boys didn’t bully him... if he could overcome that... he’d be somebody of a huge importance”.
Something started mixing in Lily’s head... she saw the dungeons, Severus was coming towards her saying: “You’re the reason worth living for... I’m mad about you and I’ll always be - you give me a sense of life”... he was looking at her so passionately... then he suddenly changed, he was wearing a mask on his face and a robe with a hood on his head and he was talking to Voldemort...
Lily fell asleep and it was a strange dream, full of faith, longing and fear. Severus didn’t sleep at all: his heart was pumping too fast for sleep all that night. He knew he had to give her the time she needed.

The next week was passing by very fast. Teachers were getting more and more severe about fifth-years O. W. L. s exams. Students felt the pressure and it didn’t make them less stressed at all. Lily had another reason to worry about: Severus.
“Come on, Lily, you’re so sad! You shouldn’t be dead serious. You’ve totally lost your sense of humour!”, Terra said, looking worried, “What are you thinking about so hard?-”.
Angie broke Terra’s monologue, looking at Lily, “You’re so pale...”
“Don’t try to tell me I should go to Mrs Healing”, Lily smiled lightly.
“There’s no Mrs Healing at school. She won’t be working here no more”, Angie explained patiently, “You were late for today’s breakfast. Dumbledore told us that she was replaced by Madam Pomfrey”.
“How come?”, Lily asked, sounding more lively, “What happened?’
“Er- all her family was murdered by the Death Eaters. Her husband and two sons... everybody”.
“Oh...”, Lily was shocked, “I didn’t – oh- poor Healing”.

The last Potions lesson in the week seemed a nightmare for her. She didn’t know if she could pretend she didn’t see Snape and she didn’t know if he can pretend he didn’t notice her. Somehow she didn’t want everybody to know what went on between them both. Fortunately she heard that Snape was lying in the hospital wing as Sirius Black and James Potter conjured him one new arm. Black wasn’t looking much better: Snape conjured him a monkey tail and it was said that they would have to stay in the hospital wing for one more day. Potter got a detention and Lily was wondering how all these punishments can be worth hexes they constantly did. She could only imagine how Severus and Sirius suffered being both closed in the same space, wearing additional arms and tails...
“Miss Evans, excellent as always! Only one clue: I’d give more of these roots to your potion, try it and you’ll be having a better effect”, Slughorn said, walking and checking students work, “Lily, what happened you haven’t thought about it yourself, the greatest potion-maker you are?”
“I – I have a headache, sir, it’s been lasting since yesterday”, Lily replied and she wasn’t lying; all what had happened on last Sunday caused nothing but headache and sudden heart fluttering.
“Lily, dear, why haven’t you told me before”, Slughorn waved his hand, “Go to Madam Pomfrey, I’m sure she’ll help you!”.
“I can live with it, Professor”, Lily answered, “Considering how many people are tortured by the Death Eaters, my headache is a ridiculous problem”.
Slughorn smiled; meanwhile Lily caught Bellatrix’s eye: she was looking at her sneeringly.
“You’re right- if you think you can live with it- look at her, all! We should fight our weaknesses... Lily, you’re a real Grifindor!”
“She is indeed”, James Potter said loudly and Remus nodded. Lily looked at them and blushed. After a minute a Slytherin named Amycus gave her a small piece of parchment: she saw herself drawn on it. It was a moving picture: she was lying on the floor, yelling with pain. The note under the picture was saying:
You’ll end up like this, Mudblood.
P. S. And then you’ll be killed.

“No wonder you may be afraid to trust Slytherins”, Terra hugged Lily the as strongly as she could, “After this note...”
“Maybe we should try to trust them a bit... I don’t know, I don’t truly believe in what I’ve just said”, Terra suggested and went out to meet Sirius in the hospital wing.
Lily stayed with Angela. “It’s a hard situation, I know, being a Muggle and a witch these times”, Angie sighed and they both stayed in a strong embrace, sitting on the bed and looking at the window. It was still snowing hardly. “Snow is falling from the sky and it’s so white and innocent. Oh, how I wish life was as pretty and immaculate as the snow”, Lily thought and sighed.

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Old October 11th, 2005, 10:22 am
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Sixth Year
Joined: 5745 days
Location: in Snape's mind
Age: 44
Posts: 1,362

When Sunday came, every single student at Hogwarts was extremely happy because it was the big day out – you could visit Hogsmeade at last! After handing in permissions to visit the place (the permissions had to be renewed all the time you wanted to get to the village as a result of dangerous times that came) the huge amount of students seemed to attack Hogsmeade with their animation, laughter and happy voices.
“Do you remember yesterday’s post?”, Angie asked her two friends, “It was a letter shower!”, she grinned, “Seems that nobody had believed we’d be finally allowed to do the shopping here!”
“Yeah, it was so funny!”, Lily smiled and rolled her eyes as if looking at the letters let go by the mass of excited owls, “My letter was dropped straight into my pumpkin juice. Thank God that Frank knew that drying incantation! I wouldn’t be at Hogwarts if he hadn’t done it... Hey, Frank!”, she shouted suddenly, “Thank you!’
“Er- no problem”, Frank shouted back surprised, „Are you still thinking about the Sicco enchantment?”
“Of course I am, you’ve saved my life”, she smiled.
“Yeah, you look much better now...”, Terra whispered in conspiracy and laughed loudly.
“You’re crazy”, Lily hit her on her back. They were holding their hands together but their hand connection was broken out of the blue. James Potter, Sirius Black and Remus Lupin forced their way between them.
“Fancy joining us at Mrs Puddifoot’s?”, James asked the girls, “It would be perfect if you three joined us”.
“What time?”, Angie asked, apparently very interested, glancing at Remus.
“I think three o’clock would be perfect”, suggested James, “We’re going to pair Frank and Alice up’, he whispered straight into Lily’s right ear and she didn’t resist as she was in an excellent mood, “They are definitely too shy to pair up by themselves... and the atmosphere in this place is so sweet – too sweet if you ask me- but I think it can work!”
“And you don’t have any detentions, James?”, Lily asked him with an unidentified tone, “After all these hexes? Hexing Snape this week and Bertram Aubrey last week?”
“Sirius, me and Snivelly were cleared of all charges”, Potter grinned, “There exist wands out of order sometimes, you know... And mine was really broken then. Remus sat on it. I didn’t mean to conjure this arm to Snape. I was trying Petrificus Totalus and then Snivellus managed to hex Sirius when he was looking at a...”, he lowered his voice to a very silent whisper straight into her ear again, “One pretty Ravenclaw girl”.
Severus Snape was watching this scene in a not very long distance. His forehead frowned and then as if reminding himself about something, he continued talking to Regulus Black and his mate, Servius.
“... I’ve heard them talking, he’s a werewolf, but I don’t have any serious proofs they weren’t joking”.

“Girls, I’m leaving you for a minute... I’d like to check the book store”, Lily informed her two friends.
“Go... I won’t go with you!”, Terra showed her tongue, “I’m sick of books, I can’t stand the sight of them”.
“Me too”, Angie sighed dramatically, “No way! All this knowledge makes me want to puke. I want something much more lighter... like this”, and she pointed out the pink feather lying on the shelf in front of her.
Lily went into the bookshop immersed in thinking: “I don’t want them to know my real feelings... they are against the Slytherins. They wouldn’t understand. There’s something in Severus what makes me... oh”.
“Evans”, Snape was going out of the store, but he stopped.
“Snape”, Lily nodded.
“No lessons today, I’m afraid”, he said, his face expression unfathomable.
“Yes”, she nodded and blushed.
“I understand you still need time?”, he asked calmly.
“Yes”, she nodded again.
“I understand”, he said, swaying on his long legs, ‘Well... good- bye”.
“Bye-bye”, she answered and looked around absent-mindedly. Narcissa and Bellatrix were watching a book, talking agitatedly. Lily went to the news section and took the book: “Charms Tor the Charming Ones” in her hands, examining it with a smile on her face. The book was hilarious! You could use it as a guide how to make a huge impact on people with non-verbal spells. If you take the Delectate charm, for example, you could make a person like you at instant and if...
“Charms for the charming ones”, said Bellatrix in a sneering voice, “Ridiculous! It’s definitely not a book for you!”, she took the book out of Lily’s hands gently and put it on the shelf again, “You have as much charm in you as a peeing dog. Maybe this one would be better...”, she showed Lily a book she was holding in her hands and shook her shiny black hair, “Muggles: Who They Really Are”, “You’re a piece of dung, Evans”, she hissed.
“Don’t force me to take out my wand here”, Lily said furiously, “I’m proud of being a Muggle”, she told addressing the both sisters, “And beware. I know some things about your plans”.
“Yeah? Prove it!”, Narcissa said threateningly and the went out of the bookstore.
“I’ll do my best”, Lily promised seriously and pointed her finger at Bellatrix: “Don’t tell me that I’m a weirdo here. You, Rodolphus and Rabastan are older than a usual seventh-year student. Tell me: were you a Squib? Huh?”
“Be quiet, girls, please. You’re disturbing”, the shop assistant reprimanded them.
“We’re going out. We don’t want to get poisoned by the Mudblood smell”, Narcissa said sweetly and they both went out.

Lily was furious: her heart was pumping very fast. She decided to walk a bit alone to calm her nerves and it lasted about an hour. Finally she decided to go to Madam Puddifoot’s. She looked around and saw her friends sitting at the table in a company of the Marauders. Apparently Madam Puddifoot let them join three tables in one.
“I used the linking charm”, James explained, “We’ll separate the tables when we are ready to go out”.
Lily sat at the table and smiled, pointing her head at Alice and Frank sitting together at another table in the corner of the room, “I see your plans worked... How have you done it?”
“Well, at first Terra and I started talking about who’s going out with whom”, Sirius smiled.
“They both were chatting about it very animatedly...”, Remus added.
“Then I told them that we all saw they both like themselves”, James said, grinning.
“You’ve almost ruined all the subtle clues!”, Sirius said in a condemnatory voice, “Alice almost escaped!”
“But I held her hand!”, Angie said, “I’ve saved the situation!’
“They both were red-faced, and I supposed it wouldn’t work”, Peter said, his little eyes shining from excitement.
“Finally Frank admitted that he liked Alice very much but he didn’t know if...”, James kept messing up his hair while talking, “And we suggested them talking about it”.
“They’ve been talking more than half an hour”, Sirius said and shrugged, “Not that I didn’t know it would work... Look! They’re going out together!”.
“A nice walk in the snow”, Potter grinned.
“I’m going out too”, Lily decided.
“With me?”, James asked innocently.
“No, for heaven’s sake, Potter, no!”, Lily yelled and everybody in the cafe looked at her, surprised, “You’ve got a certain talent to get on my nerves every time I start thinking that maybe you can forget about your big ego for a moment!”.
“Bad luck again, Prongs”, Sirius commented.

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Old October 12th, 2005, 12:33 pm
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Sixth Year
Joined: 5745 days
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Weeks were passing by quickly. “Every time you have loads of homework to do, the time passes so fast as if it was bewitched”, Lily sighed. She was a good student so she started slowly preparing for her O. W. L.s. She realized that the sooner she started working on it, the less stressed she would later be. She was omitting Slughorn’s parties more frequently than usual. She attended it only one time in January it was rather short party as her teacher’s special guest (the Minister of Magic itself this time) was rather busy. Sirius, Severus, Bellatrix and Narcissa were there too. There were also few more people from noble Pure-blood families, for example Avery, whose parents were both working for the Ministry. The minister of Magic arrived with his young, long- haired, blonde assistant called Lucius Malfoy, who could even be handsome if he didn’t have this disdainful face expression. Lily noticed that Narcissa and he looked as they were both in love and after about an hour Lucius arrived, he took her to the corner of the room, where they were both talking animatedly; Lily saw Lucius take Narcissa’s hand and kiss it.
Slughorn of course was promising his students future Ministry careers, pointing the Minister all his students advantages, helping him recruit new talented employees as many of the old ones were dead. Lily tried not to look at Snape, who was sitting in the opposite corner of the room, sipping slowly a dark brown drink which could be a Muggle coffee. “Slughorn likes extraordinary parties and it could be a real Muggle coffee”, she thought. Although Lily tried not to observe him, being immersed in conversation with Slughorn and then with a Hufflepuff friend Andromeda, she noticed that he was dressed in black as usual, looking pale and his eyes were shining strangely, as if he was sick. His long legs outstretched in a nonchalant pose, he looked as if he didn’t care about all this party and only dreamed to go out. He had been introduced to the Minister at the beginning as a boy who’s talented in the Defense Against The Dark Arts, Potions, Herbology and Charms and the Minister knew the Princes pure-blood family, but Severus somehow seemed to be resistible to Ministry career, looking bored and not particularly interested.

The week after last Hogsmeade Lily wrote a letter to Snape using the navy-blue quill he gave her. She wrote that she wanted to meet him in the Room of Requirement: it was a secret place she knew as James Potter showed it once how to use it. Lily explained where it was and what he should do in the case he didn’t know this secret place. It so happened that he knew about it. Lily stood in front of the place, concentrated on thinking “I want to have a place to meet Severus Snape” and the door were ajar for her. Snape was already in.
“Lily- ”, he greeted her and went forward with a hungry look in his face. His black robes billowed behind him, so fast he hastened towards her, “Does that mean- “
Suddenly he stopped and looked into her green eyes and he understood. “So you don’t”, he whispered in a tense voice.
“Severus... I can’t meet you on Sundays right now. I have to study other subjects”, Lily said, blushing and feeling he wouldn’t believe any single word she said.
“I understand. You want to study. Or maybe you prefer somebody more- ah- popular, a Gryffindor perhaps?”, he jeered, but his face looked as if it was in pain. His jaw clenched, his fists tight, his skin extremely pale.
“Don’t say that, Severus... It’s not true”, Lily asked, “I wanted to tell you that it will last only for few weeks. You gave me time... and I still need a bit of it. I’m half decided what I should do. I promise it won’t last long”.
Snape was breathing deeply, his chest waving. “I thought-“
“You thought wrong, Severus. I like you very much”, she admitted and looked down. He touched her face gently and said:
“I wish I understood how girls’ brains work. Right now I can only say I understand some subjects I like. There should be a subject “Women’s understanding”, he smiled slightly in a corner of his lips.
“I even don’t understand myself. I’ll write to you, I promise”, she told him and went out of the room.
She didn’t see it, but Snape was staying in for a quite long time, pacing quickly back and forth, his face expressions changing from hate and anger to felicity. Lily had no idea that his feelings were hard to stand for him too; they were so ambiguous that they made him mad, but he couldn’t stop them, he couldn’t admit he didn’t care for the Mudblood with such pretty green eyes and a good, understanding heart. She was the first girl who cared for him because she was listening to what he wanted to say.

During the Potions Snape was always behaving as if Lily didn’t exist. She was grateful for that and knew he was only pretending. It wasn’t an easy decision for her; it was so hard to trust somebody who was interested in the Dark Arts even if he seemed to control his knowledge. You could easily feel the tension between the inhabitants of the Slytherin house and the three other houses. The more often Gryffindors, Ravenclaws and Hufflepuffs were learning about the latest disappearances or killings – fortunately there were less of these events last month- the more they hated Slytherins. It’s not that Lily cared about people’s opinions: she simply felt that there’s something inside of Snape she was afraid of.
Finally, sitting in the classroom during extremely boring History of Magic lesson, she decided that she had to give Snape a chance and ask him some questions about the Death Eaters and about himself.
“Lily, you’ve been so absent-minded lately!”, Frank Longbottom brought her Potions book back to the dinner feast, “You haven’t taken it after Potions! And you even stopped chasing people because they use some of the things forbidden by Filch!”
“Thank you, Frank”, she smiled, “How’re things with Alice and you going?”
Frank bent over and whispered: “It couldn’t be better. We’re in love, it seems”, he grinned and sat next to Alice, who seemed to be extremely happy and they took themselves by the hands immediately.
“Hey, birdies, how are you going to eat?”, James Potter shouted, attaching loving girls’ looks, “You know what? Avery’s sick again!’, and he lowered his voice: “Somebody must’ve hexed him. Maybe he won’t recover till the next Quidditch match”.
Most of the Griffindor girls who were sitting near him laughed. Hestia Jones was laughing the most loudly.
Suddenly Professor McGonagall stood up and said very loudly:
“Attention, please! All the students who want to go to Hogsmeade on Sunday, which is the St Valentine’s Day, are asked to deliver permissions to the Heads of the houses before going out. We’ll go at 11 a.m. and will return at three. There will be Professor Moody, Professor Sinistra and me to guard you”.
“Lily, I somehow feel that Sirius and I are finished”, she heard Terra’s whisper, “He told me that he wanted to talk to me seriously in Hogsmeade”.
“Really?”, Lily felt it can happen, “And what are you going to tell him?”
“It could be great if we still could go out”, Terra said honestly and smiled, “Because all the girls except Slytherin ones are jealous like hell. He’s so cute... I could even stand his Potter fascination... so I’ll wait and see what he’ll tell me”.
After Lily came back to the dormitory at night, she took out her quill and wrote a short note:
Let’s meet at 5 p.m. after Hogsmeade on Sunday in the Room of the Requirement.
The answer on the parchment came after about five minutes.
I’ll be.

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