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This Difference



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Old April 16th, 2011, 4:37 pm
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This Difference

This Difference

It absolutely wasn't fair, Sirius thought stubbornly. It was the most despicable form of foul play in the history of the entire World (both magical and muggle), even more appalling than when someone (alright, maybe it was him) jinxed the Quaffle in the deciding match of Quidditch so it repetitvely bounced on top of the Slytherin Captain's rather large and hollow head.

In all seriousness, if James didn't stop with the maddening puppy dog eyes (now that was definately unfair, considering that he was the actual dog between the two), Sirius was contemplating leaping over and punching him right in the nose. Perhaps his glasses would break. Again. That would be a laugh.

Except, this was something that Sirius would've felt comfortable doing in the Gryffindor Common Room, or the Gryffindor Boys' Dormitories, or both.

But, he didn't even belong in Hogwarts anymore, not really.

The truth of the matter was that Sirius Black was 20 years old and he was in St Mungo's Hospital and Lily Evans was holding out a baby (a baby!) for him to hold and James Potter was watching, trying not to laugh at Sirius's ridiculous expression.

Merlin, what had he gotten himself into?

"Oh, honestly, Sirius," Lily quipped, amused but firm, and Sirius marvelled briefly at how, apart from the dark shadows under her eyes and her slightly paler than usual face, she was not acting at all like she had given birth a few hours previously. "He isn't going to bite."

"He might. You never know."

The retort was quick and quite clearly a desperate ploy to stall for time. Sirius chanced half a glance at James, grimacing at him in a "Help me out here!" kind of way, to which James shrugged, grinning, wordlessly meaning: "Just do it, Padfoot."

Lily was still expectedly holding out the baby to him, who Sirius was blatantly not looking at, feverishly muttering, "I might- I might break it-erm-him."

James and Lily had both roared with laughter at that, and some sort of invisible weight of stress was lifted from the scene and Sirius was struck by the incredible thought that they were all so young but if something as wonderful as the squirming little boy in front of him could come into existence during this stupid, stupid War then maybe, maybe everything was worthwhile.

But, what they didnít realise was that his comment wasnít even meant to be a joke at all. His hands seemed to be suddenly far too big and far too clumsy- far, far too rough to hold something as delicate as a baby.

Sirius vaguely remembered the first time he had seen a baby, and realised it was Regulus, but his mother would not let him hold her second (and better) son. Funny, that. Perhaps there really was something wrong with his hands. Yes, that must be it. But, how could he tell James and Lily this, without them thinking him as being a complete-

Lily coughed pointedly, but then said, in a voice that was much softer than usual (perhaps she could decipher his muddled thoughts to some extent), "Sirius, just keep your arms out...yeah, just like that, you see?" And her own arms were lowering the little child into his arms in such a way that he just couldn't pull back, lest the baby should fall onto the floor. And we can't be having that, Sirius reasoned.

The sensation of this warm, fragile being lying contentedly; almost peacefully in Sirius's slightly shaking arms (sentimental berk) was so overwhelmingly different to the things Sirius understood and held, like the handles of a certain flying motorbike or a temperamental broomstick, that he nearly gasped at how it felt to carry this difference, this miracle, this light.

He looked down into the baby's eyes. They were a murky kind of blue and Sirius somehow knew that they would turn into Lily's eyes soon, and that he would be cursed with James's wild hair and that he would be both his father and his mother and also something quite special, quite different, and quite, quite wonderful.

Sirius cleared his throat, and with a nod from Lily and a grin from James ("You're doing it right, mate"), murmered, "Hello, Harry. I'm...I'm your Godfather..."
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