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Neville Longbottom and The Perfect Day



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  #1  
Old May 29th, 2007, 5:40 pm
TonytheTerrible  Male.gif TonytheTerrible is offline
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Neville Longbottom and The Perfect Day

This thread will contain my story, "Neville Longbottom and The Perfect Day". Please leave me feedback here.


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Part II: Acceptable


Last edited by TonytheTerrible; May 29th, 2007 at 5:45 pm.
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  #2  
Old May 29th, 2007, 5:40 pm
TonytheTerrible  Male.gif TonytheTerrible is offline
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Re: Neville Longbottom and The Perfect Day

Chapter 1- Neville the Jealous

Neville lay awake in his four-poster bed, listening to the sounds of the other boys sleeping. Why was it that he always had to be the brunt of the joke? Why did he have to be the worst at any subject, aside from herbology?

Neville was always jealous of the successes of his classmates, especially Harry Potter. Harry was always performing special services to the school, fighting Lord Voldemort and such, and while Harry did not always do well in his lessons, he was respected and admired by all of his classmates, except, of course, the Slytherins. Wasn’t it just earlier this very day Harry won a contest in potions, and was awarded a vial of Felix Felicis? As if he needed it!

As far as Neville was concerned, Harry was already one of the luckiest people on the planet. It is true that Neville helped Harry fight at the ministry, but what recognition did he receive because of it? Other than the approval of his grandmother, nothing much. What he wouldn’t give to live one day in Harry’s shoes.

Neville continued to ponder these thoughts until he drifted off into an uneasy sleep, dreaming of ways he might become more like Harry…


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WOMBAT SCORES:

Part I: Acceptable
Part II: Acceptable


Last edited by TonytheTerrible; May 29th, 2007 at 7:31 pm.
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  #3  
Old May 29th, 2007, 5:41 pm
TonytheTerrible  Male.gif TonytheTerrible is offline
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Re: Neville Longbottom and The Perfect Day

Chapter 2: Getting Lucky...

Neville awoke early the next morning, before the other boys were awake. He lay there, remembering his dreams from the night before. If he could just be more like Harry, if he could be lucky enough…

“Wait, LUCKY enough, that’s it,” said Neville, a little more loudly than he meant to. “I don’t need to be more like Harry, I just need to get lucky”. Neville crept slowly out of bed and over to Harry’s trunk, as quietly as he could.

For he had seen where Harry stored the vial of Felix Felicis, and if he could just get it, Harry would probably not miss it for several weeks.

Neville opened Harry’s trunk, inserted his hand to grope in the darkness, and with a feeling of the utmost glee, he closed his hand around a vial he knew must be the “liquid luck”.

“Perfect,” thought Neville, as he quietly shut the trunk. Before his conscious could get the better of him, he quickly opened the vial and drained it.

Suddenly, Neville felt better than he had ever felt in his life. He felt like he could do anything today, and even better, he could do anything right, which would definitely be an improvement over any other day. Walking as if on clouds, he dressed quickly and headed down to breakfast, excited to find out what the day had in store for him.


__________________
WOMBAT SCORES:

Part I: Acceptable
Part II: Acceptable


Last edited by TonytheTerrible; May 29th, 2007 at 6:12 pm.
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  #4  
Old May 29th, 2007, 6:12 pm
TonytheTerrible  Male.gif TonytheTerrible is offline
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Re: Neville Longbottom and The Perfect Day

Chapter 3: Neville and Ginny

As Neville entered the common room, he found Ginny Weasley waiting for him.

“Hi Neville”, said Ginny, “off to breakfast?”

“Y- Y- Yes, I am”, stuttered Neville, nerves suddenly hitting him like a ton of bricks. He had always had a crush on Ginny ever since she went with him to the Yule Ball in his fourth year at Hogwarts. The truth was, he had never had much luck with girls, but, of course, he hadn’t really been lucky at all before today, before Felix…

Filled with sudden inspiration and courage, Neville managed to get out, “Ginny, want to come to breakfast with me”?

Ginny blushed, and said, "I would love to, Neville.", which made something in Neville’s stomach do a somersault.

“Right, then”, said Neville, “shall we go”? Ginny nodded with a smile on her face, and Neville turned and led the way through the portrait hole.


__________________
WOMBAT SCORES:

Part I: Acceptable
Part II: Acceptable


Last edited by TonytheTerrible; May 30th, 2007 at 2:05 pm.
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  #5  
Old May 29th, 2007, 7:29 pm
TonytheTerrible  Male.gif TonytheTerrible is offline
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Re: Neville Longbottom and The Perfect Day

Chapter 4: The Firebolt II

As Neville and Ginny walked down to the Great Hall, Neville kept stealing glances at the beautiful face walking beside him, framed by the brilliant flame-like hair that the weasley family is so famous for. Occasionally, he caught her eye and they both turned away, blushing furiously.

They walked into the Great Hall and sat down at the Gryffindor Table, just as the sound of rushing wings filled their ears as hundreds of post owls flooded into the air above them.

Neville, who was not used to getting packages, except for the occasional Remember-all from his grandmother, was shocked to see several owls carrying a oblong package, which had a very distinctive shape, heading towards him. It could be nothing else but a broom!

“Neville, is that what I think it is”?, wondered Ginny.

“I think it is…”, said Neville in disbelief.

As the owls dropped the package in front of Neville, he ripped the wrapping off immediately to reveal the name, “Firebolt II”.

Neville stared at it, mouth open, awestruck. “What…how…who…”, he sputtered.

After what seemed like hours of staring, he came to his senses and started digging for the card he somehow knew lay within the depths of the package.

“Who is it from, Neville”, said Ginny, also in awe, as she saw him finally find the card.

“It’s from my gran”, Neville said, “because she said I am finally living up to my father’s reputation. Its amazing, because the Firebolt II is still a prototype, it isn't even scheduled to come out until next suumer! It turns out, my gran knows someone who makes them, so she was able to get me one. I can't believe it!"

Everyone at the Gryffindor table had stopped talking and were all staring, each person with their own open-mouthed expression of shock and surprise. After all, this was not just a broomstick, it was a Firebolt II, which was even faster and more beautiful than its predecessor, the Firebolt. Harry Potter had a Firebolt, and his broom was the best and most admired at Hogwarts…until now, anyway.

Before he could admire it any further, though, Professor Sprout came rushing in. When she saw Neville with the broom, she said, “Neville, thank goodness you have a broom with you. Bring it with you, and hurry. Hermione is stuck at the top of the Whomping Willow".


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WOMBAT SCORES:

Part I: Acceptable
Part II: Acceptable


Last edited by TonytheTerrible; May 30th, 2007 at 2:06 pm.
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  #6  
Old May 29th, 2007, 10:35 pm
TonytheTerrible  Male.gif TonytheTerrible is offline
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Re: Neville Longbottom and The Perfect Day

Chapter 5: Neville, The Hero

As Neville ran outside, with Ginny right behind him, he couldn’t help but think that this was the moment he had been waiting for. When had anyone ever turned to him for help, especially when concerning something other than herbology? This was his moment to prove them all wrong, to show them that he was not a joke.

As he rounded the corner at full speed, the Whomping Willow came into view. And there, just as Professor Sprout had said, was Hermione, at the top of the tree, doing everything she could to avoid the branches that were swinging violently at her, holding a very abashed looking Crookshanks, whom, Neville guessed, was the reason Hermione had climbed the tree in the first place.

“Hold on, Hermione, I am coming,” cried Neville, and, without another thought, Neville mounted his new broom and soared into the air towards the flailing tree.

Somewhere behind him, he thought he heard Ginny say, “Isn’t he brave? Just look at him go”.

Neville zoomed toward the tree as fast as his broom would take him, and, as graceful as the summer breeze, he weaved through all the branches and grabbed Hermione, taking her safely to the ground. The whole of Gryffindor house, or at least those who had been at the table when Professor Sprout rushed in and then proceeded to follow them out, all began to clap and cheer.

Hermione had tears in her eyes, and was clearly speechless as she looked at Neville in amazement. Crookshanks, who was not interested in the festivities that must inevitably follow such a daring rescue, jumped out of Hermione’s arms and trotted off back towards the castle.

Neville, whose only taste of glory came back in his first year at Hogwarts, when he was awarded 10 points to Gryffindor, which resulted in Gryffindor winning the House cup and ended Slytherin’s 7-year win streak, was in disbelief as a cheer of “Neville” rose up from the Gryffindors.

As they all came to shake his hand and pat him on the back, he had never experienced such jubilation and euphoria. His bewilderment was increased, however, when Ginny leaned over and gave him a kiss; then, giggling to herself, she ran back into the castle.

Just then, Professor McGonagall came through the crowd, with a sly smile on her face. “Miss Granger,” she said, “Are you alright?”

Still speechless at the identity of her hero and the trauma caused by the Willow, Hermione just nodded, looking as amazed as ever.

“Very well, Miss Granger, get up to the hospital wing to see Madame Pomfrey," said Professor McGonagall, "she will want to check you over, just to make sure you are, indeed, alright. Neville, come with me. I want a word”.

Not sure what was coming, and hardly believing his luck, Neville sheepishly followed.


__________________
WOMBAT SCORES:

Part I: Acceptable
Part II: Acceptable


Last edited by TonytheTerrible; May 30th, 2007 at 2:08 pm.
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  #7  
Old May 30th, 2007, 2:03 pm
TonytheTerrible  Male.gif TonytheTerrible is offline
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Re: Neville Longbottom and The Perfect Day

Chapter 6 (and maybe 7) will be coming later today. Please don't forget to leave me feedback!


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Part I: Acceptable
Part II: Acceptable

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