The Evans Sisters

[Sherlock Holmes]

This was one of the most interesting revelations to me: we finally get to see Petunia and Lily together, and find out why Petunia hates magic (and her sister) so much, yet took Harry in.

It seems that they were actually good friends when they were young, and it was Lily's magical ability that drove them apart. Petunia was wildly jealous, and furiously angry that she could not go to Hogwarts. Why did she never learn to accept that she was not magical? Could Lily have handled things better between them, perhaps?

[Kendra]

I'm not sure anything can excuse Petunia for her behaviour. Explain it, yes, but not excuse it. I am glad it was explained, but what I find the cruelest thing is on Harry's first day at Hogwarts, Petunia knew how to get onto the platform, but still left him there. I find it very sad she could never get over her jealousy, especially when her own sister was murdered by magic - it did certainly cause problems being magical, in Petunia's generation.

[Aunt_Marge]

Well, I kind of always suspected that Petunia's "hatred" for her sister was jealousy, but still - I am surprised by how deep-rooted it was how and how much of hold she allowed to take over her. In a way, I kind of think of her as Filch now - so bitter about his lack of magic that he takes it out on the students. The only diff is that Filch is still actively trying to become magical and Peturnia is doing the opposite: condemning it to soothe herself, so that she should feel that she is really not missing out on anything.

Personally, I don't think that there was something that Lilly could have done differently. I imagine that she did the best she could. Personally I think perhaps their parents may have more responsibility here. They should have found ways to make Petunia feel special for who she was, and assure her that they were just as proud of her and loved her just as much as Lilly. Of course, they may have done so - but I don't get that vibe. I get the feeling that Petunia was a bit neglected herself.

[Tiphany]

I felt really sorry for Petunia! I hadn't realised that her jealousy was so strong that she even wrote to Dumbledore. Was it that she wanted to do magic, do you think, or that she wanted to be Lily's equal? That she wanted to be able to do everything she could do, and to be seen as just as good by their parents? I suspect the latter, and the parents seem to have dealt with it badly.

It's an odd twist that the girl who isn't magic, who is like the parents, should be the one ignored by the parents and made to feel an outcast. I've alwyas got the impression that Hermione's parents, for instance, are a bit bemused by her because they can't really share her world.

[Patronus87]

I agree that it's sad, to see how badly she wanted to be at Hogwarts, but I just can't believe how much it made her bitter, to the point of not helping her sister's son who lost both of his parents. She knew about hogwarts, but played dumb when the owl's first started coming, she knew where the platform was to get on the train, but wouldn't help harry find it, she knew about Snape, and his infatuation with Lily, but never breathed a word of it to him.

I feel bad for her yes, but also despise how she was so cold-hearted to her sister's orphaned son.

[jasper]

I think Petunia had a pre-existing personality conflict with Lily because they had a different way of dealing with the world all along. Petunia was a worrier and a conformist. You can see this because frets over Lily demonstrating her abilities in public and reminds her their mom said not to do that. As opposed to saying cool! do it again. Lily is brave and not a conformist- a Gtiffindor who maintains a friendship with a Slytherin. The two of them couldn't have been best friend type siblings.

Then it turns out Lily is a witch and gets to go to a cool school, so Petunia is jealous. Add to that the part where she feels betrayed when Lily and Snape snoop.

I don't know what Lily could have done- maybe not calling her "Tuney" could have helped. But in the estrangement that results, I think Petunia chose it and Lily couldn't change her choice.

[PaulSSC]

A theory:
Petunia actually cared about her sister a great deal, deep down, and it was her sister's magical death that turned her against magic for good. She couldn't bear the sight of Harry, because he reminded her of Lily so much.
Discuss. No flames please.

[stunnedtina]

I always suspected that Petunia was jealous. The vehemence in which she spoke to Harry at the shack in the middle of the ocean, telling him about Lily and about her being a "freak" and then all the actions afterwards led me to believe it was jealously....a lot of it. I do, however, believe that perhaps Lily could have handled it differently. We only seen snatches through Snape's eyes so really we don't know how she handled it aside from those glimpses through Snape's eyes. She wanted to get into Hogwarts as well. Apparently she had really been close to Lily and following Lily in what she did seemed to be something that she wanted.
Like magic took Lily away from Petunia.

PaulSSC that's definitely something to think about there. I like that idea.
Shunning Harry and treating him so badly because she loved her sister and cared so much about it and the magic she detested because it took Lily away from her in the first place, she seen as ultimately taking her away for good. She blamed the magic all along and then she gets stuck with Harry which reminds her daily of what mistakes she made in not being there for her sister. Something like that. I know I may not have worded that as I wanted. I hope that it's understandable. LOL!

[mao]

Originally Posted by Virtuousdream

I am glad it was explained, but what I find the cruelest thing is on Harry's first day at Hogwarts, Petunia knew how to get onto the platform, but still left him there.

I didn't think of that! That is really shocking and sad. I agree: it is the cruelest thing.

Now we realise how much she DID know about the magical world! She's even BEEN at Platform 9 3/4 and she's communicated with Dumbledore..........

[jasper]

Originally Posted by PaulSSC

A theory:
Petunia actually cared about her sister a great deal, deep down, and it was her sister's magical death that turned her against magic for good. She couldn't bear the sight of Harry, because he reminded her of Lily so much.
Discuss. No flames please.

That's a bit of Snape's excuse for his treatment of Harry too. Hmmm, Lily's love saves Harry, but the love of Lily drives these characters to treat Harry like dirt.

[PaulSSC]

Ok, wait.
If Dumbledore had previously written to Petunia when she was school age, that would have been his "first", (as in "Remember My First, Petunia") right? NOT the letter he left when Harry died. So what would've been in that first letter to force her to reconsider keeping Harry?

[Pigleto972001]

i remember that dumbledore had told her in book six "we had corresponded before" i thought he meant "remember my last" but now i think maybe he was referring to the letter that she had sent him and his reply that snape and lily had found.

i think when petunia was venting about her sister and how she got herself "blown up" she really was mourning her sister's death and was directing her anger and loss to lily, as if it were her fault she died b/c of magic in the first place. and i think she was jealous of lily, definitely b/c of the magic skills, but also b/c lily had an admirer who pretty much wasn't interested in petunia b/c she's "just a muggle." also i think she was jealous of the friendship between them because she wanted to be close to her sister like this strange boy was.

[JRB88]

My question is did Petunia know that it was Harry's "fault" that Lilly died and her resentment with harry and magic is perhaps resentment with losing her sister, because i found it weird that Petunia had given Lilly a a vase as gift (mentioned in the partial letter in Grimauld place) which suggest they still had a relationship beyond their childhood squabbles.

[Loopy Lupin]

Personally, when I found out that Petunia wanted to desperately go to Hogwarts, I wanted to laugh! For me, that was a wonderful comical moment. But seeing the discussion here, I now see that there is so much unspoken issues that go so deep between Petunia and Harry. Petunia was indeed attuned to the magical world, but I can't blame her for forgetting some stuff if she had worked so hard for so many years to forget it.

Yes, the whole platform thing was indeed harsh, but I can't blame her for not revealing the location to Harry. It would have been so out of character, and too soon for us to know. She and Vernon wanted to stamp the magic out of Harry, so if by helping him would get him to Hogwarts, she would be hypocritical to her own beliefs.

And I do see that Petunia and Snape are just the same, no matter how much they seemed to dislike each other: they both were willing to protect Harry because they both loved Lily. They just couldn't believe that Harry took the one person they loved away from them. But to hold on to Lily, they had to "hold on to" Harry too.

Wow...this seems more tragic than I ever thought...=D

[Amdillae_Culmet]

Originally Posted by JRB88

My question is did Petunia know that it was Harry's "fault" that Lilly died and her resentment with harry and magic is perhaps resentment with losing her sister, because i found it weird that Petunia had given Lilly a a vase as gift (mentioned in the partial letter in Grimauld place) which suggest they still had a relationship beyond their childhood squabbles.

That point about the relationship and the gift does leave a lot of questions. If you consider that Veron had never met Harry does that mean that Petunia had also never meet Harry or was she meeting and talking with his sister on the quiet???

[Loopy Lupin]

Originally Posted by Amdillae_Culmet

THat ppoint about the relationship and the gift does leave a lot of questions. If you consider that Veron had never met Harry does that mean that Petunia had also never meet Harry or was she meeting and talking with his sister on the quiet???

OH RIGHT! It just hit me that Petunia always denied having a sister, and yet she sent Lily a vase when Harry was about one. Hmmm, then again, I think she had to have kept contact with Lily because she knew Harry's name when Vernon asked her in the first book.

So I think the root of the dislike for Harry and wizards really took root with Lily's death. I think before that, she was just scared because as someone previously said, she was more of a conformist and scared of what others would think more than anything else.

[BelleSnowyOwl]

I just love the fact that Lily called her sister "Tuney." That's gold, right there.

[bluestone]

Originally Posted by PaulSSC

Ok, wait.
If Dumbledore had previously written to Petunia when she was school age, that would have been his "first", (as in "Remember My First, Petunia") right? NOT the letter he left when Harry died. So what would've been in that first letter to force her to reconsider keeping Harry?

There probably wasn't anything in that letter that would cause Petunia to keep Harry. Dumbledore's Howler actually said "Remember my last" which I believe would be the letter that he left with Harry that night on the doorstep.

I really loved Petunia and Lily's relationship being shown in Deathly Hallows. I understand Petunia and bit better now, and I agree with the others who said that said that her hatred of Lily and of magic was more jealousy of Lily and anger that she died because of magic.

[elfears91]

i had completely forgotten about the vase. i also just realized that when dumbledore goes to get harry in the 6th book and says he turns of age in a year that she interrupts and says it is 2 years. but unless they changed the law to be of age wouldn't she already know that a wizard/witch turns of age at 17 not 18 because of lily and snape. you know lily didn't seem that upset about the vase so i think it was more of a it's the holidays and because your my sister i have to send you something type of vase

[Sub Zero]

It's odd that when they were kids, they seemed like the best of friends. Then when Lily got her Hogwarts letter and Petunia didn't, she just became jealous. It's like she never even hated her sister, she was just extremely jealous. Now we know why Petunia took Harry in. Despite her jealousy, she still loved her sister.