Re: Love Struck
CH. 20 - Comfort me
A/N - I'm sorry for the late posting, its just with school and all i've been busy with studying, and trying to do everything "correctly." But here's another post even if it is a bit short..
I didn’t know why I was acting the way I was, why I was feeling so sad, and depressed all the time. It was like life itself was out to get me and people in it, just didn’t want me around. Maybe this happened to everyone at one time or another who knew right? I mean me myself didn’t know much but I knew for sure that I couldn’t’ be the only feeling like this? I didn’t want to talk to anyone, except for Cole but that was because I felt as if he were the only one who did understand me. He was the only one that understood me right? My mind was playing games with me, sometimes I just wanted to be alone with James but then I always realized how much it did hurt to be with him. Then I wanted to be with Cole even though it was beyond awkward to talk to him without saying the words I love you, because I didn’t love him, not how I use to love him anyway.
Walking down the stairs as the sun began to walk through the windows itself and hit my cold face. It was warm something I wanted to feel again, I smiled at him, as they walked down, Aaron and James. Looking around and wondering where Sirius was but I suppose it didn’t matter anymore.
“What about breakfast, I mean when was the last time we ate together?” Aaron said with a smile, I laughed, I didn’t know myself.
It seemed centuries since we had been together it was nice to be with the two as friends. Even though at times I didn’t want to be. I looked at James and he looked at me with that familiar smile of his, was he really happy? Did he hurt as much as I did? It wasn’t fair for him though, To leave someone you love because your afraid of hurting them in the end. But it was true, I would end up hurting James, or I had already done so.
“Breakfast, sounds great really, Coffee sounds way better.” I said looking at Aaron. We made our way out of the common room, with a bits of stares from the other students, they happened to had stared a lot, with all the news of me being attacked. That also sucked being the news of everything at every time. Ever since I had been getting attacked my life started to go downhill and for some reason I didn’t know why it was happening. Why was it happening? Did I just have bad luck?
“So what have you two been up to lately?” Aaron said looking at me and James, James shrugged and I looked at Aaron, “Nothing much, studying and stuff.” I said with a nod.
“You studying, seriously what are you doing?”
“Alright alright, I’ve been hanging out with Cole, that’s about it.” He stopped and stared at me and then shook his head. I didn’t know it was such a big crime anyway. James looked at me, even more hurt then he had looked this morning. I sighed okay so maybe things were beyond different from when school started but was that really my fault? Or did we all play a little part in it. Maybe it was my fault, maybe I should have just left Hogwarts transfer out maybe? Then again that wouldn’t make sense it was my last year here and Hogwarts was my home, my second home anyway. Where people understood people all except for me.
Taking a seat and noticing Libya her hair looked different, in a good way, she had looked different like a really really good make over type thing. I smiled at her, “What happened to you?”
She giggled, “I thought I’d try something new.” I smiled at her, “Well you look nice.” She smiled at me, “Thanks Kale.”
I looked over at Aaron who was blushing and couldn’t help but laugh, I sat by James this way Libya would sit directly by Aaron, he glared at me and I laughed even more. I thought it was cute, James looked at me with confusing and I whispered in his ear what was happening. He smiled at me. I dropped my eye contact with him and played with my food that was sitting on my plate, he looked at me every now and then and I wanted to look back at him, tell him that I wanted to be with him but was afraid to do so. I got up and began walking down the halls; it was killing me sitting by him. I didn’t want to explain myself or anything, that’s when I crashed into Jason.
He stared at me; his grey blue piercing eyes staring back at me, “Hey…” he whispered.
“Hi…” I mumbled, he shoved his hands into his pocket and looked at the grown then back up at me, I looked at his arm, there were marks on it, I was going to ask why, but he must have been reading my mind.
“I’m fine, Kale, honest.”
“That’s just not normal that’s all.”
“I know, but I’m ok.”
“But… what happened?”
“It doesn’t matter.”
“Why won’t you talk to me anymore?”
He paused, “I don’t want to hurt you anymore.”
“I know I have, and I don’t want to, it’s the same reason you broke up with James and the same reason you don’t want to talk to him, because your afraid of hurting him aren’t you?”
I looked back at him he was right, but I didn’t want to show it, with everything happening I just cried, right then and there with Jason staring at me. I needed someone to comfort me, I ran into his arms and wrapped my arms around him. He pulled me in closer, it felt good to have someone comfort me, even if it wasn’t the person I wanted to do so.
“Looks like you moved on pretty fast Kale.” I turned it was James. Jason looked at him, and backed up some.
“I can’t believe you would do this Kale.” James said and looked at Jason, “With him again? The guy that has hurt you so much.”
“You hurt her too James, more than anyone could imagine.”
James took out his wand, “Shut your mouth Malfoy.”
“Make me Potter.”
“Would you two both stop? Your not making things any better, you two have both hurt me but life moves on and maybe you both should too.” That hurt me to say, I mean I know Jason had moved on, or so it had seemed like he did. But if James, moved on, I knew that would hurt me in the long run, I shook my head. Jason looked at me and I looked at James.
“Whatever, this is useless, I’m going.” Jason said leaving, I looked at James, “Was that really necessary?”
“It got rid of him didn’t it?”
“Look he was comforting me that’s all.”
“I could have done that you know, if you wanted me to.”
“That’s the thing though James, I don’t want you to…”
“But I want to.”
“James… all I do is end up hurting you and…”
“Life moves on doesn’t it?”
“Its not that simple though James, I mean...”
“You forgave me right, with everything I did that hurt you.”
“Yes but still.”
“Or did you just happen to move back, with being with Jason.”
“It’s not like that James, like I said I just wanted someone to comfort me, and Jason was there ok..”
He nodded, “Alright.” I began making my way down the hall again, as James made his way back to the great hall, Jason was there and he smiled, “So aww how things go with you and James?”
“Hes a bit upset that you were comforting me that’s all.”
“Well I would be to, if I saw my ex hugging her ex? That’s confusing isn’t it?”
“A bit yes.” I laughed and he smiled, “Look I can’t be seen by you, I mean my friends would kill me if they saw me and you together as friends and stuff.”
“Why? They didn’t care last year.”
“That was last year Kale now please just go away.”
So that was harsh, but I really couldn’t be seen with her, what if the others found out? What would happen to me, what would he do to me? He wanted Kale to himself, and no one was suppose to be with her. Talking to her would get me in trouble, but a part of me wanted to risk it. It was dumb of me to did what I had done, I had lost the perfect girl, maybe love hadn’t had struck me yet. Or maybe it did and I was just too dumb to realize it. Not to mention she really didn’t want anything to do with me, every one knew she wanted to be back with James, everyone but James.
Feedback? I haven't really been getting any, and it would be nice if i did lol
Last edited by Jedi_Girl; September 17th, 2008 at 2:05 pm.
Re: Love Struck
I groaned, the spring break was coming, but I didn’t feel happy, I felt alone. Like no one understood me, well no one did understand me; everyone was too busy being happy, with friends and what not. I would just sit alone I wouldn’t even talk to James anymore, Aaron was too busy dating Libya, I never saw my brother around the school, Cole was busy teaching his students – being an adult. While I was just being me, even if that meant studying alone, watching the fire dim down, there was really no one to talk to.
It was late, the fire was really low, I could barley see anything. “Hey…” I looked over it was Aaron.
“Hey its you.” I said with a small laugh
“Yeah, aww I’m so confused.”
“Libya is confusing me, I don’t know if I should ask her out or be friends with her?”
“You two aren’t dating already? I just thought that you two were I mean…”
“So I must be a good flirt then huh?”
I laughed, “I think you should ask her out you two seem cute together.”
“I don’t know if I should, I mean there’s all these guys that like her and stuff, and I don’t think I’d be able to handle all the jealousy.”
“You Jealous? Since when?”
“Kale, since forever.”
I laughed, wow that was new to me, and I never though of Aaron as the one who were to get jealous, I mean he always seemed so mellow so laid back. I looked at Aaron, and Libya came down the stairs, she smiled at me and I smiled at her, she looked at Aaron, and he looked back at her. I laughed, and decided to make my way up to the room. I began walking, as the other two began to engage into there conversation. I looked up from the stair case and saw James; he yawned and messed up his hair with his hands. I looked at the floor, I missed being with him, more than anything, and I felt so invisible when I was around him. It was so different after we broke up, we would barley speak to each other and I didn’t want. I wanted him to notice me; I wanted him not to move on. I wanted a lot of things and I never got most of them, so why would that start now?
I stopped and he stared at me, I could feel myself blush, and shook my head. I heard him sigh. Or at least I thought I did. I continued making my way up to the common room. For some reason the only thing I could do was cry. I had no one really with me, I mean not anymore. It wasn’t like I needed a guy to be happy or anything, I just always felt sad. I buried my head into my pillow, it was starting to get light out, and I didn’t want to go to classes today, I didn’t want to see James. It wasn’t his fault I was feeling like this. It was mine, I just couldn’t, besides from the sadness I just felt so confused. I was the one that ended things, but how could I get back with being with James? I mean after everything I caused him. It wouldn’t be right, if anything it would be wrong.
Eventually, Libya made me go downstairs, even though she had done the refreshing with a flick of her wand of course. I walked downstairs and into a hall way. Where I saw James, just standing there talking with Aaron. Well if Aaron were there, then it would be ok, If I were there too right? Maybe If I just talked to Aaron, then things would be ok. I walked up to them and tried to speak, but nothing came out. ‘Kale you’re making a fool out of yourself.’
“Aww hey guys.” I mumbled, and looked at my feet lamely.
James looked at me, “Hey Kale.” He said, smiling. I smiled back.
Aaron stared at the two of us, and I looked at him lamely. He laughed at us, “So guys what do you wanna do?”
“I don’t know.” I said
”Why don’t we just hang in the common room?”
“I just got back from there.” I said looking at Aaron, “But if you guys want, then I’ll go.”
“We could go to the Lake,” James said, it was Saturday after all.
“Alright, the lake.”
While we walked to the lake, I looked over at James, something was bothering them, I knew something was bothering him, but I didn’t want to bring it up, I mean what if It was me who was bothering him. I sighed and he looked at me, I looked at the ground and we went to the lake, Aaron and James jumped into the lake and I looked at the two and James looked at me, before I knew it, Libya was also joining us, she smiled at Aaron and the two were off doing there own little thing. I looked back at James and he took a seat by me, soaked.
“You’re not coming in are you?” He said
“I wasn’t planning on it.”
“Too bad.” He said, hugging me and laughing. I laughed and pushed him off.
He put his arm around me, “So if you don’t want to get in the lake, then I guess I’ll just have to keep you wet.”
“I wish you wouldn’t” So he took his arm off of me.
“But I kind of liked your arm around me.” He laughed and placed back on me, I could feel myself blush. But he wouldn’t notice it. I mean would he?
It was weird, flirting with her. Trying not to, but it just came back all so sudden. I wanted to just kiss her and throw her into the water and dive after her, because then I knew she wouldn’t care if we were dating. But if we weren’t? I mean what if she got mad at me or something, so I just kept my arm around her.
“I love you Kale.” I said laughing, hoping she would take it as a joke, even though I wasn’t really joking.
“aww how cute James, I love you too.” She said with a laugh. I smiled at her, “If you love me, you’d join me in the lake.”
“Fine.” She said with a smile, and jumped in, I jumped in after her. “See not that bad now is it?”
I looked at him, “It is beyond bad.” She said with a smile, I swam closer to her, and wrapped my arms around her, “How bad?”
“Very?” She said with a smile. I looked at her, leaned in and kissed her. She pulled away, “James… I…”
I let go of her, “Right, I shouldn’t have.” I said, feeling hurt, and confused. I thought she would have wanted me too.
“No… I mean,” She looked at me and kissed me back, “I love you, James, and I’m sorry I mean for everything I was being…”
“You were worried?” I said looking down at her, “Yes that.” She said and hugged me, I stroked her hair back and sighed.
The time flew, and it grew dark, windy. We were still outside, and we all knew we should have been going back to the common room. Especially Kale, she didn’t want to get caught, and she was still afraid about the things that were happening to her. Her bad luck I suppose.
I held her hand, and we walked into the common room. The fire was nice and warm, and the other students have seemed to disappear, or maybe I didn’t notice them. It didn’t matter. I looked up at her, “Warm?”
She smiled at me, “Mhmm” she said leaning her head against my shoulder, and I put my arm around her and kissed her forehead, “Well that’s good.”
She looked back at me, “I’m still sorry, James.” I shook my head, it didn’t matter. As long as we were together, nothing really mattered.
“Geez you two back together already?” I laughed, “You two never learn to stay away from each other do you?”
Kale laughed and James gave me a death glare. I laughed at the two, “It’s ok, my baby sister is madly in love with you anyway.” Her face began to look pink, I smiled. “So spring break is coming up, finally, no more school, well at least not for a little while. Best of all no more Slytherins.”
“Whats wrong with Slytherins?” Kale said looking back at me. “Nothing nothing.” I said She looked at me and James looked off. I smiled, “But anyway, I have a date, unlike you guys, so I’m off, enjoying my school year, unlike you two, who are probably just going to kiss each other like always, or fight with each other.” Kale sighed and James kissed her. “See what I mean?” I said
I flicked my wand, and my jacket appeared. I began to make my way down the hall, It was night time, and I really shouldn’t have been out, but I did want to see her. Her hair was so blond, her eyes were a deep shade of blue and grey. I smiled at the thought of just hugging her. I turned the corner and there she was, “Hey.” She whispered.
“Hey.” I said and kissed her on the cheek. “Ready?”
“Of course.” She said with a smile. Then there was a blast, I could feel the ground shake a little. Kale? I shook my head, she would be fine, she was with James. I looked at her, “Whats going on?” She said, her voice was so faint.
“I don’t know.” I said and grabbed her hand, she smiled at me, death eaters now? I grabbed my wand and turned another corner, there was no one there? The place became still so very still, and quiet. I looked at her, and she stared back at me. I made my way to the common room and she made her way towards her own. I looked back and saw James with Kale, “You two ok?”
“Aww sure?” Kale said
“Didn’t you guys feel that? Hear it?”
“Feel? Hear what?” She said
“The wall… I mean not the whole wall part of the wall it like it got blasted off or something, and the castle was shaking and it was loud. How could you guys not hear or see it?”
“Aww your mental.” James said, I looked at Kale, “Sirius nothing happened.
Re: Love Struck
"Kale, I saw it, with.."
She looked at me, I stopped. "Forget it, maybe i just am mental."
She laughed at me, "It's okay Sirius." I shook my head, what had happened. It was real, i couldn't have been imaging something like that, she was with me, she saw it too. She.. was back in her common room, i didn't get to take her out, not like on a normal date, and it was ruined by so called death eaters, and the only thing on my mind at that time was Kale. I needed more girls in my life. I grinned, and my little sister looked at me. Shrugging, i made my way to the common room, I hadn't much to say after that, and the only thing i really wanted to do, was go up stairs. While it was quiet so i could clear my head, well quiet was a short time, pretty soon James and Aaron would be up there, and well lets say the room wouldn't be so quiet anymore.
Either the stress of school was getting to him, or maybe it was a girl. What girl? He would have spilled it by now. We would have all known who it was. Since when did he keep secrets. It was killing me, and it was strange, since when did little sisters care? Why was I caring. I groaned and James looked at me with raised eyebrows. I laughed, "Just thinking..."
He shook his head, "Are you sure thats all your thinking about? Not thinking about me? I'm so hurt."
"You and your ego." I said laughing, "Hey can't help it now can I?" I folded my arms, i really didn't like when James did this, and he knew it. He thought it was funny, it just made me angry, upset. I didn't want to hear about all the girls that were always over him, that wanted him. I mean sure I could get a guy, if i really wanted, but i mean i never really cared about that and i never boasted about it.
He wrapped his arms around me, "Okay, I'll stop," he kissed me on the cheek. I smiled, but then again i always did like when he did that. I leaned on him, and he smiled. "I love you, Kale."
I nodded, "I love you too." I looked at him, "Lets go to the lake."
He looked back at me, "Now? After hours, i mean..."
I looked back at him and nodded, "Have your cloak?"
He looked at me and smiled, and nodded. I stood up, and grabbed his hand. It wasn't that late, it was just dark, and if we we're caught it wouldn't be that many points taken away. Our house wouldn't mind that much. Or so I hope they wouldn't. In a couple of minutes, he came back down. With the cloak in his hand he smiled at me, and wrapped up both in it. We had our wands in our pockets, and we walked towards the lake, dodging teachers and then we we're finally there and so was Jason? Why was he out alone, now?
I looked at James and we walked to the lake, Jason was making his way to the castle, so it would be okay if we went to the lake. I took off the cloak and James smiled at me, I flicked my wand and was wearing my bathing suit, i jumped into the lake, and in the next moment James was with me, splashing me with water. I wrapped my arms around him and smiled.
"You ok, Kale, you seem aww clingy."
No. Wrong words, very wrong words. She let go and swam back to the shore. I sighed, and got out. Time had passed maybe about 30 minutes or so. I made my way to the castle, i didn't know where she had gone. I didnt know what i should have done, maybe i should have gone back to go find her. What was wrong with us? We were either so in love, or fighting. Most of the time it was fighting, and if we weren't together it was if there was nothing left. Nothing in the world that would matter.
There she was, "I.. i'm sorry."
She shook her head, "I guess i don't know maybe i'm tired."
I shook my head, "No. I guess, i'm not use to.. you know having someone love me this much."
She laughed, "That was beyond corny, James."
I looked at her and laughed, "It was a good line though." She smiled at me and hugged me.
"I wonder why Jason was there." she whispered.
"I don't know.. out breaking rules, like we were."
"Yes.. but he was just by himself, i mean, i dont know, just wondering."
"Do you think he was seeing Cole, talking to him and stuff" She said, pulling away from me.
"Umm probably not, he didn't like Cole, i mean not when you two we're dating, and i doubt he likes him now. I mean he might, but i don't think so."
"Your starting to ramble James." She muttered. I shrugged, "Why don't you just ask him tomorrow?"
"You're okay with me talking to him?"
"Geez, Kale I'm not that protective." i said grinning.
"I know, I know, its just weird."
Re: Love Struck
"What are you talking about, Jason?"
"Look.. all i'm saying is i think there real."
"Well of course they are, who doesn't believe in fairies." I said laughing. He laughed at me, and put his arm around me. I didn't mind it, but i knew if James saw, he would. He would be jealous, i didn't want to make him jealous, or angry, i didn't want to hurt him. I looked at Jason and he let go. He understood. James was somewhere around the castle, probably talking to people, his little group of admires, the others who wanted to be just like him.
I suppose that could have been a good thing. or a very bad thing. With all the people who liked you there were many people who hated you. Life was very unfair especially when you were a teen, it was so complicated how come things couldn't have stayed like when you were 6. No guy problems, no acne no anything! You actually got a long with everyone, and your parents. Your parents understood you, now well the only one who really can understand you is you. Or maybe thats me. Maybe only i really understand I. Well that wasn't true. There was Cole, he understood me, or he use to. I really didn't see him around, and when i did, it was just a little wave the last i have heard of him, well was about two weeks ago. Maybe i should have gone and visited him. Maybe, but what would the others think?
Why should it have mattered. They weren't my parents, they couldn't tell me what to do. I made my way from Jason, and began walking outside, classes were going good. It was the weekend, a calm weekend. The sky was clear, and tomorrow was a hogesmade weekend. I really never understood the weather it was on and off, sometimes it was clear and then at other times gloomy.
Skipping and smiling, i knocked on Cole's door. No Answer. I shook my head, that sucked. No one to really talk to, to catch up on things. Where was he on a saturday? There couldn't have been many things too do. Maybe he was in the forest, but students weren't allowed there, so i couldn't really look in the forest for him. I sighed, and made my way back to the lake. Maybe he was at the lake, he liked the water. I liked the water,, we always would spend time at the lake. I sat down and put my feet in the water, it felt good. The cold water touching me, making me more aware of what was around. There he was, walking towards me, sitting by me, i could feel his breath on my neck he was so warm.
"Hey, hows it going, Kale?"
I nodded, it was good, he could see that. There really wasn't a need for asking.
"Well i just figured you already knew how i was. There really was no point in asking now was there? I mean if i were sad, i would have been crying, if i were angry i really wouldn't be by the lake, probably locked up in my dorm."
He laughed, "Hadnt changed a bit."
"Well.. more then you know actually. I sort of grew up, i mean i know that sounds really weird and all but i think im more independent i dont always have to be with people just to go somewhere, i like to be alone. Gives me time to think, not so afraid of the dark anymore kind of growing on me. Although some things are still the same."
"Well.. your still chatty." He said laughing. I smiled, "See, some things are still the same."
"Well lets just say you sort of proved my point."
I looked around a bit, the time was flying by and before i knew it, well it was dark. I had to get going back to the castle, hugging Cole and making my way. Pain, everywhere. No way to describe it. It hurt so bad. Like someone was on top of me. I couldn't scream, couldn't move. It was so dark, i felt so cold.
Re: Love Struck
A/N I'm super sorry for the long long long wait. School and life in general has caught up with me, but I'll try to update more. But anyway here's somewhat of an update, i wouldn't really call this an update seeing as its really short Feedback would be nice too. -JG
I was going to kill him. He had done this too her, it was him. It had to be he was the last person with her and i wasn't going to take it. No. I grinned my teeth and clenched my fist. He was standing there and then he was on the floor. I shook my head, "You're done hurting her."
He smirked, "Yeah sure thing Potter," he said rolling his eyes. I breathed in deeply i left. I needed to go see her, i wanted to go see her, it was forever since i saw those eyes, heard her voice. I loved it. I loved her. I had planes to marry her some what, but i doubted she was thinking that far. I groaned everyone was in my way, and i wasn't in the mood to talk sweet to anyone. I just wanted too see her, why wasn't this day going how it was suppose to. I had heard she just dropped last night, but i couldn't figure out why, so i took it out on the last person that was with her perhaps that wasn't the best thing to do, but hey i did hate the guy, and i did need to take my rage out on someone. So why not him?
Then there she was, just lying there staring up at the ceiling she must have been so bored just laying there then maybe she liked it? She was always in the hospital perhaps it wasn’t that bad. Maybe i should have tried to get myself into the hospital wing one of these days. I mean meals given too you no school sleeping in all day? It sounded like something.. That might have grown into a habit these days. I looked at her, and she looked back smiling a bit. Her hair was messy, she was pale she looked skinner. I sighed, i was getting kind of concerned, and about her health she didn't look so good. Well of course she was beautiful, too me, but the way she looked it was just.. She didn't look like her usual self, the usual smiling happy self.
I sat by her and wrapped my arms around her, being able to feel her warm breath on mine, made my heart beat slightly faster. She smiled at me, and for a while it was silent us just staring into each others eyes. I liked it; we didn't do this for a while. She leaned in too kiss me, but it was awkward. We sort of missed, so I laughed. She looked at me and looked at the bed, was it not that funny? I held her hand, "It's okay Kale.. We can always try it again?"
She bit her lip, "I know... but what if there isn't a next time?" she spoke softly.
I guess i should have gotten use to it, but none the less, "There will always be a next time," i said with a reassuring smile. I didn't want to hurt her; i just wanted to be there to comfort her. I didn't want to leave her, not even if she broke my heart. Even though my thoughts we're some what corny, and the way I felt of her might have been well too much for my age? I wanted to be with her, i loved her. Hopefully she knew that. I wanted her to know that. But i was afraid to show her, what if she thought i was doing too much and my friends? I didn't really want them to think that i was over my head for this girl. Or perhaps everyone already knew.
Then it was time for me to get too class, sadly i had to leave her, i groaned and kissed her softly on the cheek and made my way, waving my good byes.
We're guys that afraid of showing there true emotions for us girls? I mean how hard could it have been? His friends weren’t even around. They we’re so confusing all guys we’re confusing. Then he walked in, “Get away from me, Jason.”
He ran his hands through his hair, “Kale… please believe me, I didn’t do that too you, I would never hurt you, I mean I know what everyone is saying. Your boyfriend just beat the living **** out of me, please… hear me out.”
“Do you know what’s in believe? Lie. That’s all that believing is lying. You’re lying I don’t want to hear what you have to say, Jason.” He looked at me, then at the ground he was fidgeting something he did normally when he was sad or really into his thoughts. The nurse came and releases me. Well at least I would be able to get to some of my classes and do some stuff. I got up and ran my hands through my hair, pursing my lips and looking around. The nurse taking her time, and finally she were out of site it was just me and Jason.
“I’m not lying Kale… Look I’m sorry that bad things happen to you. I’m sorry that I can’t stop them from happening, I’m sorry that someone is out there trying to get you, and I’m sorry that it happened to you, when I was with you.” He paused, “I really am, I didn’t do anything,” he looked at me and took one of my hands. “Please believe me…”
I sighed, maybe he was right. Maybe everyone was just so bored with themselves, and this school year because nothing great was happening. Well like anything ever great really did happen these days, school was school that’s all it was. So maybe these naïve people really did want to make up something, cause some sort of drama and fun in their lives maybe Jason was right. But maybe my brother and Aaron and James, and Cole we’re even correct. I didn’t know who to believe, but I doubted Jason would do anything to me. We did date; he did love me at some point didn’t he? I looked up at him, “I... I don’t know Jason. I don’t know who’s right I don’t know who to believe, who to trust.”
“But you trust James.”
I bit my lip, “Yes I trust James… he’s my boyfriend he loves me…”
“I loved you; I dated you, why can’t you believe me?”
“Because... I just I can’t.
“What do you want me to do, so that you believe me, so that you believe that I would never hurt you?”
I looked at him, “I… I don’t know.” Then his lips met mine, and it was odd because it was as a rush of emotion washed over me, I sort of enjoyed his kiss. It tingled, it feel so cold so good, and I was kissing him back? What was I doing, what was wrong with me? I was dating someone.
“So… I guess you’re with him now.”
James. I pulled away, and saw him; he was looking at the ground his hands shoved into his pockets I looked back at Jason, and back at James, “James… Please let me…”
He walked away and I looked at Jason, he looked at the ground and I followed James out. “James please let me explain let me talk too you.” He stopped the grounds weren’t packed with people – well they were all in class, class had started and me and James we’re facing each other. I just wanted to go sit in a corner and cry, how could I do this too him, why were my emotions so confused so heart breaking towards everyone. What was so wrong with me?
Wrong with me, that’s all I wanted to say, had to say most of the time, that’s how I felt. I felt so alone, no one understood me, how could they, they weren’t getting attacked or anything like that. Why was I? Why was I their target. Whoever they were, ugh. I just wanted to scream, I was so angry and sad all the time. The only time I ever felt happy was with James, well I suppose I mostly felt happy with James?
“What do you have to say?” His voice was clear, his tone was angry. Of course he was angry with me, why wouldn’t he be angry with me. I was angry with myself. I bit my lip, “I cant obviously say I didn’t kiss the guy because I was kissing the guy, and I know that’s not what you want to hear, and you already know that… but I don’t know what else too say, I mean I know I should say I’m sorry, and I am sorry. But I can’t just say that because I know that you know that sorry isn’t enough and I don’t know what else to do then just state the obvious… and I’m really really am sorry but like I said… I know its not enough.”
“Okay? Are you done?”
I nodded, yeah I was done. I supposed I mean what else could I have said, he wasn’t happy with me, and he wasn’t going to be not for a while, “I don’t know Kale, we’ve been dating on and off, but every time one of us wants to take a break from each other we cant, I’m madly in love with you Kale. I’ve always been madly love with you, every guy seems to be madly in love with you. Even Aaron use to be madly in love with you, but he let me have you, I guess It just hurts too see the love of your life making out with some other guy.”
“It was just a kiss, he was asking me if I believed him and all… and I just don’t know who to believe James,” my voice was shaky and I didn’t want to cry. No I wasn’t going to cry there was no point in crying not here not now, there was no point too but I was so blah I just… not doing so, wasn’t an option. “I’m so sorry….” I said biting my lip, my eyes were getting teary, and I just started crying. He wrapped his arms around me and pulled me into such a comforting hug. I missed him so much even though it wasn’t a long time since we’ve been from each other, I just I suppose I really did love him. I loved him so much and I didn’t know what to do. “James…” I said not letting go of him, “I love you… I really really do love you. I want to be with you, maybe even after we graduate, I think I want to I don’t know… spend the rest of my life with you. But guys.. I mean I don’t know if you want too, and I don’t want you to breakup with me, because now you really feel committed or something.”
“No, I’m not going to break up with you because I feel the same way,” he moved some of the hair out of my face, “I love you Kale, and I’m ready to make you my wife.” I smiled and kissed him on the cheek. So we just stood there holding each other, and my thoughts lingered some more, and things felt so right and so good I didn’t want to leave him here and I didn’t want to go anywhere. But we knew we both had too just in case, someone was to wonder the halls, and we would loose our house points. So we made our way to the common room, and we sat on the couch and he kissed me some more, and all I could think was, man I really did love him. It was funny then again, because a moment ago I was kissing some other guy? I was so afraid of loosing him, and I thought he hated me beyond hate, but he didn’t he just kissed me.
Re: Love Struck
"Your lips we're touching another. Why shouldn't i have been angry with you?" I was holding a warm cup of tea. I was sitting talking with Cole about life's random events that had been taking place. He look sad and torn that he couldn't do anything about the attacks. And he questioned it, why would someone be attacking me in the first place. Why would they want too? He smiled some, his hair was a mess, but he did look good. I stopped rambling, "James.. asked me to marry him." I said softly. Why couldn't i have said it all happy and smiley like they did in those movies.
He looked at me, and nodded, "If thats what you want." I knew that he didn't want that. But we were over. I mean.. he dissapeard. I wasn't in love with Cole anymore, I couldn't be in love with him. I looked at him and sighed, "So yeah you we're kissing that girl.. so i just assumed well to break up with you, like i do with every guy."
"Every guy?" he said laughing.
"I've had my share of guys..." i mumbled. He laughed. "We we're drifting apart Kale.. you we're spending more time with Jason and Aaron.. and James and Sirius, remember him your twin brother. Haven't seen much of him."
I nodded, "He and James are probably to busy thinking about pranking other kids or something. They dont' have much of lives."
"Except for planning a wedding right.." his voice trailed.
"What was i suppose to say, No.. because I still might have something for Cole.. some feeling that just won't go away?" i said, setting my tea down.
"Well.. would have been nice. Look.. you were my first, theres nothing like the first. I'll always love you no matter what, you were very relaxed, calming girl." He smiled. How was he able to do that? Just make my heart stop for a moment make me feel so much better without even trying to. The grounds were wet the last couple of days pouring rain hit the ground.
Someone knocked on the door, it was a staff member? I looked at Cole and he told me that i should head up to the castle so i did. Life would be different after that.
AN - Sorry for the short post and sorry for not posting in forever school has been busy this year.
Re: Love Struck
A/N - It's been ages since I've updated this story. Almost a year, I was going to give up writing this story but decided to finish it up while I still had the summer -- I also tried to keep the writing style the same, as my style of writing has changed immensely. I hope you guys enjoy, and thank you for reading.
Something just didn’t feel right. Why would there be a staff member at Cole’s door, surely it must have been someone else. If it was a staff member why wouldn’t they just go ahead and send him an owl – an official request or something, to meet with him. It didn’t make sense. I went behind a bush and decided to see who Jason was there? Not only Jason but it was Jason and Fleur. What were those two doing there? Why did they want Cole? Vivid images were filling my head and suddenly I was gasping for air. Someone was covering my mouth. I began to start panicking, kicking, and squirming.
“Stop moving Kale, it’s me Sirius.” He whispered a bit.
I let out a small sigh, why was my brother following me around anyway.
“It isn’t safe for you to be here.”
I pried his hand off of my mouth. I began to sign to him, “What are you talking about Sirius?”
Mother had taught us sign language when we were very young. He shook his head and he signed, “Not here.”
We started making our way back to the castle, “Why won’t you just tell me what in the hell is going on, Sirius.”
“James… James is in the hospital ward.”
“My fiancé, is in the hospital?” I stammered. What was going on with me and my life? Who was out to get me? Why were they out to get me?
I raced to the hospital ward, I didn’t care if Sirius was with me or not, I didn’t care. I just wanted him to be alright. His clothing was tattered, his face was beat up pretty bad – his body was covered in cuts and bruises. I began to cry, Aaron and his girlfriend Libya were in the room. Their eyes were also covered in tears. I looked around for my twin brother Sirius and he put his arm around me. The head nurse came in and shook her head, “I’m so sorry – we will inform his parents immediately” The headmaster – James’ father came in immediately. He was sobbing.
“I’m so sorry, sir.” I was stammering.
I felt like this was all my fault with all the attacks on me, I just couldn’t keep myself from feeling guilty. That was my fiancé and he was gone forever. Life wasn’t going to be the same anymore – how could it. The love of my life was gone. I held his hand and kissed his cold cheek. I was going to miss him. I didn’t want to talk to anyone; I didn’t want anyone to talk to me. News would get out tomorrow, or even before that James had died, that Kale’s fiancé had died. And that it was probably all her fault anyway, I mean, didn’t you hear about her getting attacked? Of course it was her fault, poor guy he shouldn’t have been dating her.
I walked slowly up to my dorm and news must have been out already a couple of girls huddled into groups stopped talking and were whispering and pointing. Some friends they were. I went up to my room and sat on my bed, my eyes were getting puffy from crying. I looked at the scrapbook we had started when we were just little kids. We all looked so happy there – James, Aaron, Sirius and I. I was going to miss James so incredibly much. My heart began to ache and my stomach was turning.
Preparations for his funeral were going to take place two weekends from now. Who would want to do this to me? I didn’t torment anyway – I was kind to everyone, to my knowledge no one really hated me enough to do this.
There was Fleur of course but she wouldn’t have killed anyone -- she was way too lady like to do so. She couldn’t possibly hate me that much anyway.
Libya walked into the room and put her arm around me, “I’m so sorry Kale, I knew who and what he meant to you. But he’ll always be with you.”
I nodded, “It won’t be the same without him – nothing will be the same anymore. This was supposed to be our last year here, this was going to be the best years of our lives and now… it isn’t. This year has been by far one of the worst years here, and I have no idea why. Or whom is out to get me.”
She sighed, “I don’t know either.” Her voice trailed off, she didn’t know what to say. Of course who exactly knows what to say in these kinds of situations? I gave her a small smile letting her know that it was a good thing she was here. She was a comfort to me – and I couldn’t have asked for more of a friend than her. I laid on my bed as she left for the common room to go with Aaron. They were madly in love – and I wish James were here.
Re: Love Struck
The pitter patter on the roof was growing stronger and louder but the rain storm that presented itself did not keep many students from attending Hogsmade. Except for me. I let Libya go out and hang with her friends; I really wanted to comfort Kale. It was only about two months after James died. The funeral was an emotional strain for everyone. One of my best friends were gone, Kale had lost her fiancé, Sirius seemed to be the stronger one – during this horrific event. He tried to remain strong for his twin sister – you could see that. I wanted to pull Kale in for a long and strong hug, like I use to do back before the random attacks on Kale happened. We had to figure out who was behind and we had to figure it out fast. If we didn’t who knew what was going to happen to Kale – to me, Libya, and maybe even Sirius?
The rain continued to hit the ground as I looked out of the window from my room. His bed was still there – empty. It was weird not seeing him anymore, him not being able to make us laugh, him not pulling any more pranks with Sirius, him not pushing me to do his homework when he would forget to do so, he wasn’t here anymore to keep our spirits high, he wasn’t here to hold Kale and tell her how much he loved her, he wouldn’t be here tomorrow morning to wake me up for breakfast and start to ramble about how much he disliked his classes when Kale was practically a perfect student. He would never be here again. I sighed, he was my bestfriend, he was practically like my brother and I missed him. Merlin, I missed him a lot. I walked over to his bed and sat on it, it felt almost sinful that I was sitting on it. Knowing he would never be able to sit on it – something so small like this made me sick to my stomach.
Who could have possibly done this? Who did this to James? Who would want to do this to James? Was it Jason? Jason hated James… no. He wouldn’t be have the guts to do so. I made my way downstairs to the common room – the room was dead silent. I sat on the couch feeling completely mundane and there she was. Kale came into the common room and sat by me, her eyes were puffy from crying , she looked gaunt again she probably wasn’t eating. She never really attended the Great Hall or Quidditch matches or anything that really had to do with socializing. She hadn’t talked to anyone in what seemed forever not even her own brother.
How was Sirius anyway? Was he taking the news as bad as we were? I looked at her and she looked up at me. We didn’t expect anything from each other – we just knew for a moment – life was going to be like this the rest of the way. That James would not be here anymore and that wasn’t exactly comforting.
“Have you talked to Sirius, lately?”
She shook her head.
“Are you going to talk to him, to see how he’s doing?”
“I miss him too Kale.”
She nodded and she began to cry again. I put my arm around her and let her cry onto my shoulder. The last time she cried on my shoulder in the Common Room was when Fleur kissed James at the Dance that seemed forever ago, it was forever ago. I held her tightly, I could feel her breath against my neck it was slightly warm but it was comforting.
“We were going to be getting married after school ended.” She mumbled. She pulled away from me and ran her hands through her hair.
“We were going to start a little shop a place where kids could come and hang out and just study. It doesn’t seem at all like James, something he wouldn’t want to do. But he did want to. He was a brilliant man although sometimes he didn’t show it but he really was, Aaron. I miss him all the time and it’s really hard for me to picture anything without him. I just don’t understand who would want to do this to me – to us. To you?”
I didn’t know what to say to her. I didn’t know that James wanted to open a little coffee shop and have kids study in it. I knew he didn’t take an interest in school and I knew he was a smart lad but that was James.
“What were you guys going to name the shop?”
“The Secret Haven… it was really James’ idea. He really wanted a place that wasn’t necessarily a library but a place where kids could relax and get their school work done and just hang out. A place they felt comfortable doing so.” She said with a small smile.
Talking about him made her happy, talking about her once thought future with him made her happy. She looked back at me.
“School will be ending in a couple of months…”
“I know.” I said blankly. It didn’t seem real that school was going to end. That this would be our last year at Hogwarts that she would leave here to start her coffee shop without him, that she wouldn’t be married to James and their children wouldn’t be growing up with mine. It just seemed unreal.
“I better get going Aaron, tell Libya I say hello.”
I got up and left the common room. I didn’t mean to leave so rudely or want seemed to be rude. I just didn’t want to talk about James anymore. It made me happy thinking about what our lives could have been but there wasn’t a use. He wasn’t going to be here anymore and I wasn’t going to be marrying him anymore. I wanted someone to talk to. I needed someone to talk to. Maybe my brother? He was James’ best friend. No. He was busy with his own life and I didn’t want to bother him. So I stumbled around a bit and made my way to the lake. Not to my surprise Cole was there. He looked at me and I looked back at him. Surely he had heard what happened – the whole school knew by now. The son of famous Harry Potter and Ginny Weasley had passed.
He walked over to me, “Hey…” he mumbled.
“Hello…” my voice was faint, almost a whisper. He put his arm around me and pulled me in for a hug. I wrapped my arms around him and hugged him.
“I’m sorry Kale, I heard what happened and I – I just wanted to say that I’m sorry.”
“I miss him so much Cole.”
He looked down at me, “You really did love him.”
“I really did.”
He looked at me, “It’s a shame you two won’t be able to get married and have children.”
I looked at him and pulled away, “Yeah… It is. We had so many things planed that we wanted to do.”
He nodded, “Like The Secret Haven?”
I looked at him for a moment, no one knew about that except for James and Aaron and I. James hated Cole there was no way he would have told him. Cole? No… he couldn’t have killed him. I was with Cole that entire day.
“Cole uhm…” I was interrupted just then Jason and Fleur made their way to us.
“I’m so sorry for you Kale. Poor you – now you won’t ever have anyone to love you ever again.” Fleur said.
There was a shy grin on her face. I wasn’t going to get angry at her. No. I was going to be the bigger person here.
“If I were you Jason I would go with your girlfriend.” I said looking at him.
“Oh come on Kale – she doesn’t mean it.” He said rolling his eyes.
“She’s right… we were discussing something that really doesn’t involve you two.”
Cole stepped in and for once I was glad that he did. The two looked at each other and turned around.
“Cole, how did you know about our ---“
“Expelliarmus!” It was my brother Sirius.
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