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Fan Scripts: Script your own version of Harry Potter



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  #81  
Old December 21st, 2007, 6:43 am
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Re: Fan Scripts: Script your own version of Harry Potter

Quote:
Originally Posted by Phrozenone View Post
Ok.....first things first. Did you REALLY need to have Harry go back to the Dursley's to ask for a ride? You are really packing it on thick if you want this is to be 130 buddy.

That's alot of talking involved on the Weasley's part aswell. I chuckled at the whole 'toilet' thing though. I'd forgetten about that line (I haven't read the 1st book in a WHILE!!) You really are trying your best to stick to cannon though I'll give you that.
About the Dursleys, I just don't won't a rehash of PS/mov when Hagrid takes Harry to Kings Cross the same day (or the day after) he takes him to Diagon Alley. Now I think about it, I could move things round so that he doesn't go back to Privet Drive, though I'd have to get rid of the scene when Harry names Hedwig, oh, well, I'll just make Harry call Hedwig Hedwig sometime.

About the Weasleys: I KNOW!!!! I couldn't believe how much they talked! What I do usually is reformat the book, remove unneccecary lines, then move things round for my liking. And still, after that their dialogue was 2 or 3 pages!!!

About the 130, I want to finish it first, no matter how long it is (I'm thinking it will come out between 150 and 200), and then I want to make it 130.

Edit: About the Dursleys: Here's the edited scene, and it flows better than the previous one.

Quote:
RUBEUS HAGRID (CONT’D)
Yer ticket fer Hogwarts. First o' September - King's Cross - Platform Nine and Three Quarters - it's all on yer ticket.

Harry goes toward the train.

HARRY POTTER
Did you say Platform Nine and Three Quarters?

He turns back, but Hagrid has gone.

INT. KING’S CROSS STATION - LATE MORNING
(1/9/1991)

On one platform is a big plastic ‘9’ and on the platform next to it is a big plastic ‘10’. Vernon smiles evilly.

VERNON DURSLEY
Well, there you are, boy. Platform nine - platform ten. Your platform should be somewhere in the middle, but they don't seem to have built it yet.



Last edited by ArryGrotter; December 21st, 2007 at 6:48 am.
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  #82  
Old December 21st, 2007, 6:55 am
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Re: Fan Scripts: Script your own version of Harry Potter

Okay, I've never done anything like this before but I am curently working on my own HBP script so I figured I'd give a shot at posting my first scene and see what reaction I get. I wanna say right now, too, Phrozenone, I had the same thought about S.P.E.W. When I come to reintroducing Dobby ('cause I so wanna see Dobby again) I intend to have a little moment of outrage from Hermione about house elves working at Hogwarts, and carry that through as a little running joke rather than a subplot. But, for now, here's my take on "Spinner's End". For the love of God, be gentle!



The Warner Bros. logo moves forward out of an oddly insistent greenish mist that renders everything but an odd chimney or two invisible to our eyes. Pan down from an immense chimney to a decrepit, rundown old house sitting amidst several other similar ramshackle homes, next to a filthy, rubbish-strewn river. We enter the sitting room of this house through the window to meet SEVERUS SNAPE, who shuts the curtains with a sharp tug and turns to face the visitor standing in front of a dirtied, threadbare sofa. This woman, with pale, pointed features, her long blonde hair a very troubled, anxious-looking woman with long blonde hair falling over a tear-stained face, wears a very anxious and deeply troubled expression.

SNAPE
Well, this is a pleasant surprise. What brings you two to the family home?

The sitting room of "the family home" continues the air of longtime neglect, being comprised of full, musty bookshelves, a lone wooden armchair, an empty fireplace at the room's rear, and a dim ceiling-hung lamp.

WOMAN
Severus, I need your help.

We can just see a woman standing at the front door with her hood still up, her face obscured.

WOMAN #2
Cissy, you should not speaking of the plan to anyone, let alone present company!

The voice belongs to BELLATRIX LESTRANGE, who lowers her hood and steps away from the door toward her sister.

CISSY
Bella, please!

SNAPE
Now now, Narcissa, we should allow Bellatrix a chance to convey her...mistrust in me. "Present company"? You doubt I can aid your sister?

BELLATRIX
I doubt my sister's judgment in placing her trust in a man who's spent the last 17 years in Dumbledore's pocket! Tell me, Snape, where do your loyalties lie?

SNAPE
You mean this (lifting up his sleeve to show The Dark Mark branded into his arm) is not sufficient answer?

BELLATRIX
Not as to why you've made your home at Hogwarts, not as to why you did not immediately return to The Dark Lord's side after he was reborn!

SNAPE
I have remained at Hogwarts because The Dark Lord wished me to do so - or do you forget the assignment I was given all those years ago? And I returned precisely two hours after The Dark Lord did, on Dumbledore's orders.

BELLATRIX
Dumbledore's orders?

SNAPE
Yes. Or do you also forget the old man thought me his spy? He believes I've reclaimed the post I held during the first war, but the truth is quite the reverse. Either way, when The Dark Lord returned I had 16 years of valuable information on Hogwarts and Dumbledore himself to give him. Rather more valuable, I think, than endless stories of how very miserable Azkaban is - 'though I'm sure he appreciated them just the same.

BELLATRIX
Alright then, answer me this: you have had Harry Potter under your watch for 5 years and yet you have never made the slightest attempt -

SNAPE
Potter is Dumbledore's prize pupil. It might just be a bit onspicuous if I were to murder the boy over breakfast in The Great Hall; besides, The Dark Lord has made it clear that he wants Potter for himself. (beat) The Dark Lord trusts my judgment; you doubt his?

Bellatrix wears a scathing look but says no more.

SNAPE
Now Narcissa, you seek my help?

NARCISSA
It's my son. The Dark Lord has..has given him a mission.

SNAPE
Yes, I know of the plan.

NARCISSA
(a pleading look on her face) Then you know you must help! Severus, please; you are his favorite teacher, he trusts you, you must protect him!

BELLATRIX
The boy needs no protection! You should be proud!

NARCISSA
Proud?! It is only punishment for what happened at the Ministry, I know it! Severus, I must know...will you assist him, watch over him..complete his task if he cannot?

Snape seems to be contemplating this for a moment but says quite firmly:

SNAPE
I will.

So that's it. I cut The Unbreakable Vow because, as others on other threads have said, it's rather irrelevant after 'DH' and besides, Snape will bring it up later anyway. What's here is a bit rough to be sure, but this is basically what I'd like to see next November. So what do you think?


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Last edited by IenjoyAcidPops; February 3rd, 2008 at 6:18 pm.
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  #83  
Old December 21st, 2007, 6:56 am
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Re: Fan Scripts: Script your own version of Harry Potter

Quote:
Originally Posted by ArryGrotter View Post
About the Dursleys, I just don't won't a rehash of PS/mov when Hagrid takes Harry to Kings Cross the same day (or the day after) he takes him to Diagon Alley. Now I think about it, I could move things round so that he doesn't go back to Privet Drive, though I'd have to get rid of the scene when Harry names Hedwig, oh, well, I'll just make Harry call Hedwig Hedwig sometime.

About the Weasleys: I KNOW!!!! I couldn't believe how much they talked! What I do usually is reformat the book, remove unneccecary lines, then move things round for my liking. And still, after that their dialogue was 2 or 3 pages!!!

About the 130, I want to finish it first, no matter how long it is (I'm thinking it will come out between 150 and 200), and then I want to make it 130.
Yeah that's what I did and that's a good idea. Write all you can and go back. It's tough though because you'll find there are alot of parts you like but they just don't flow well. That's when the whole 'combining' scenes thing can happen. It'll be easier once you have it all down and you're able to just read it from front to back.

And honestly they never said Hedwig's name in the movie so just having Harry call the name sometime in the film works just as well.

So since it's technically a new day here now I might aswell add another scene to the bunch:


INT-THE BURROW-KITCHEN-MORNING

To a snowy shot of the Burrow, then the scene changes to Harry and Ron chopping things in the kitchen sink.

RON
So Snape was definitely offering to help him?

HARRY
He said he’s promised Malfoy’s mother to protect him, that he’d made an Unbreakable Oath or something…

RON
An Unbreakable Vow? Are you sure?

HARRY
Yes, what does it mean?

RON
Well you can’t break an Unbreakable Vow…

HARRY
I’d worked that much out for myself, funnily enough.

RON
If you break it you die. Fred and George tried to get me to make one when I was five actually…

Fred and George enter the kitchen as he says this.

GEORGE
Well well well Ron

FRED
What is this we hear from Ginny about you and a young lady called…unless our information is faulty…Lavender Brown?

RON
Mind your own business!

FRED AND GEORGE
Ooohhhhhhhhhhh

FRED
Seems we’ve struck a nerve.

GEORGE
What we want to know however little brother is how did it happen?

FRED
Did she have an accident or something?

RON
What?

GEORGE
Well, how did she sustain such extensive brain damage.
(Ron throws the knife at George and he turns it into an paper airplane immediately. Mrs. Weasley walks in on this exact moment.)
Careful, now!

MRS. WEASLEY
RONALD WEASLEY!!! Don’t you EVER let me see you throwing knives again!

GEORGE
IT’s ok mum he’s just a little love struck

RON
Shut up!

INT. -DEN-MORNING (LATER THAT DAY)

The scene cuts to Lupin, Mr. Weasley, and Harry sitting around the fireplace as Christmas music plays in the background.

HARRY
And that’s what happened.

MR. WEASLEY
Has it occurred to you, Harry that Snape was simply pretending...?

HARRY
Pretending to offer help so he can find out what Malfoy’s up to? Yeah, I thought you’d say that, but how do we know?

MR. WEASLEY
It isn’t out business to know. Dumbledore trusts Severus, and that ought to be good enough for all of us.

HARRY
But just say Dumbledore’s wrong about Snape…

LUPIN
People have said it many times Harry. It comes down to whether or not you trust Dumbledore’s judgement.

HARRY
But Dumbledore can make mistakes. He says it himself, and sir do you honestly trust Snape?

LUPIN
I neither like nor dislike Severus. We shall never be friends, but I do not forget that during the year at Hogwarts, Severus made the Wolfsbane Potion for me every month, so that I did not have to suffer as I usually do at the full moon. He kept me healthy, I must be grateful.

HARRY
Maybe he didn’t dare mess with the potion with Dumbledore watching him!

LUPIN
You are determined to hate him aren’t you Harry?

There is a crash heard from in the kitchen and we hear Mrs. Weasley yelling at the twins.

MR. WEASLEY
I think I’m needed in this situation…
(He jumps up and runs out of the room)

HARRY
(laughs and turns to Lupin)
So what have you been up to lately?

LUPIN
Oh, I’ve been underground. I’ve been living among the werewolves; nearly all of them are on Voldemort’s side. Dumbledore wanted a spy and here I was…ready made.

HARRY
How come they like Voldemort?

LUPIN
They think that, under his rule, they will have a better life. And it is hard to argue with Greyback out there…

HARRY
Greyback?

LUPIN
Fenrir Greyback is the most savage werewolf alive today. He regards it his mission in life to bite and contaminate as many people as possible, sometimes even without the full moon. Voldemort has promised him prey in return for his services. Greyback specializes in children; it was Greyback who bit me.

HARRY
What? When you were a kid?

LUPIN
Yes. My father had offended him.

INT-RONS BEDROOM-CHRISTMAS MORNING

The scene cuts to another snowy shot of the Burrow and we hear hear Rons voice and then the scene pops in with him holding up a thick gold chain.

RON
She’s got to be joking!

HARRY
What’s that?

RON
Its from Lavender, she can’t honestly think I’d wear…

He turns the chain around and it reads My Sweetheart.


HARRY
Nice, you should definitely wear it in front of Fred and George.

RON
If you tell them..I…I…I’ll…

HARRY
Stutter at me? (He laughs and picks up his package and we see that it says To Master, From Kreacher.) Do you reckon this is safe to open?

RON
Can’t be anything dangerous can it?

(Harry opens it and gives out a yell as maggots pour out of the package. Ron bursts out to

laughing and

INT. KITCHEN-CHRISTMAS AFTERNOON

The scene cuts to Fred, George, Mr and Mrs. Weasly, Lupin, Ginny, and Bill sitting around the dinner table. There’s a lot of rustle and talking around the table.

HARRY
This is excellent Mrs. Weasley

MRS. WEASLEY
Thanks Harry dear. Bill could you please stop eating like an animal!

BILL
What!

GINNY
You have a maggot in your hair Harry
(She reaches over and plucks it out of his hair.)

HARRY
(Chuckles nervously)
Thanks

Ginny smiles and goes back to her plate

FRED
So Ron….

GEORGE
About this Lavender Brown…

RON
Shut up!

GINNY
Oohhh..looks like Ron can’t take what he dishes!

RON
YOU SHUT YOUR FACE!

FRED
Oh so angry…

GEORGE
That’s what love does to you…

As everyone laughs Ginny looks over and notices to figures walking toward the house. She gets up and looks out of the window.

GINNY
Hey, it’s…its Percy!

Everyone gets silent and turns around in a shock and we see a shot of Percy and Rufus Scrimgeour walking towards the house.

HARRY
Who’s that he’s with?

RON
Rufus Scrimgeour, the new Minister of Magic.

The door opens and Percy walks in with a dry look on his face. It seems as if he doesn’t want to be there.

PERCY
(In a mono tone voice)
Merry Christmas, Mother.

MRS. WEASLEY
Oh, Percy!!

(She jumps up and hugs him. He still has the same look on his face and all the Weasley kids look at each other with disgust.)

SCRIMGEOUR
You must forgive this intrusion.

MR. WEASLEY
Please, come in and sit down, Minister! Have little purkey, or some….

SCRIMGEOUR
I don’t want to intrude Arthur. Wouldn’t be here at all if Percy hadn’t wanted to see you all so badly…

MRS. WEASLEY
Oh, PERCY!!! (She starts hugging and kissing him more. Ron, The Twins, and Ginny look at each other and roll their eyes.)

SCRIMGEOUR
We only have a few minutes, so I’ll have a stroll around the yard while you catch up with Percy. Well, if anybody cares to show me your charming garden…

(The camera cuts to Harry and back to Scrimgeour.)

Ah, that young man is finished, why doesn’t he take a stroll with me?

EXT-GARDEN-CHRISTMAS AFTERNOON (MOMENT LATER)

SCRIMGEOUR
I’ve wanted to meet you for a very long time, did you know that?

HARRY
No.

SCRIMGEOUR
Oh yes, I have been hoping for an occasion to talk to you ever since I gained office, but Dumbledore has prevented this.

(He looks at Harry but Harry says nothing.)

The rumors have been flying around of you being ‘the Chosen One.’ I assume Dumbledore has discussed these matters with you?

HARRY
Yeah we’ve discussed it.

SCRIMGEOUR
And what has Dumbledore told you Harry?

HARRY
Sorry but that’s between us.

SCRIMGEOUR
Oh, of course, if it’s a question of confidences, I wouldn’t want to divulge and in any case, does it really matter if you are the Chosen One or not?

HARRY
I don’t get what you’re saying.

SCRIMGEOUR
You are a symbol of hope for many, Harry. The idea that there is somebody out there who might be destined to destroy him, it gives people a lift. Once you realize this, you might consider it, almost a duty, to stand slongside the Ministry, and give everyone a boost.

HARRY
Stand alongside the Ministry?

SCRIMGEOUR
If you were to be seen popping in and out of the Ministry from time to time, that would give the right impression you see.

HARRY
So basically you’d like to give the impression that I’m working for the Ministry?

SCRIMGEOUR
Yes Harry that’s about right, whatever’s possible to give people hope…

HARRY
Won’t that seem as though I approve of what the Ministry is up to?

SCRIMGEOUR
Well…yes that…

HARRY
No thank you sir. You see I don’t like some of the things the Ministry is doing. Locking up Stan Shunpike, for instance.

SCRIMGEOUR
These are dangerous times Harry and certain measures have to be taken.

HARRY
I don’t want to be used!

SCRIMGEOUR
So I guess you are not the chosen one.

HARRY
I thought you said it didn’t matter either way?

SCRIMGEOUR
I shouldn’t have said that, it was tactless…

HARRY
No, it was one of the only honest things you’ve said to me. You don’t care whether I live or die, but you do care that I help you convince everyone you’re winning the war against Voldemort. The Ministry wasn’t so keen to be pals last year.

SCRIMGEOUR
(A long beat)
So what is old Dumbledore up to? Where does he go when he is absent from Hogwarts.

HARRY
No idea

SCRIMGEOUR
You wouldn’t tell me if you knew would you?

HARRY
No, I wouldn’t

SCRIMGEOUR
Well, it is clear to me that he has done a very good job on you. Dumbledores man through and through, aren’t you, Potter?

HARRY
You got it.


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  #84  
Old December 21st, 2007, 7:35 am
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Re: Fan Scripts: Script your own version of Harry Potter

Choices? One Vow or the other????

IenjoyAcidPops, to the thread!

That short scene covers alot of areas, and that's hard to do and I commend you.

Phrozenone, You're doing well. (Probably better than I am)
PS It's 8:45pm here, so I'm not sure about you posting a new one right now (since I'm about to log off) I'll pick at it tommorow


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  #85  
Old December 21st, 2007, 7:40 am
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Re: Fan Scripts: Script your own version of Harry Potter

Quote:
Originally Posted by IenjoyAcidPops View Post
Okay, I've never done anything like this before but I am curently working on my own HBP script so I figured I'd give a shot at posting my first scene and see what reaction I get. I wanna say right now, too, Phrozenone, I had the same thought about S.P.E.W. When I come to reintroducing Dobby ('cause I so wanna see Dobby again) I intend to have a little moment of outrage from Hermione about house elves working at Hogwarts, and carry that through as a little running joke rather than a subplot. But, for now, here's my take on "Spinner's End". For the love of God, be gentle!



The dim outlines of a few rooftops and chimneys are the only things visible through the oddly insistent mist. The Warner Bros. logo slowly moves out of this mist toward the camera, which then travels through it to show a street sign bearing the name Spinner's End. Dissolve to the profile of Severus Snape, levitating two wine glasses before him.

SNAPE
I must say, this is a pleasant surprise. What brings you to the family home?

The sitting room of "the family home" has an air of longtime neglect, lit only by a dim lamp hung from the ceiling, and comprised solely of full, musty bookshelves, a threadbare leather sofa, and an ancient, rickety armchair. A wine glass floats into the hand of a very anxious, troubled-looking woman with blonde hair and severe, pointed features. Behind her we can see another woman standing just in front of the door, her hood obscuring her face.

WOMAN #1
Severus, I need your help.

WOMAN #2
Cissy, how many times must I tell you we cannot trust him before it sinks in?

The voice belongs to Bellatrix Lestrange, her hood now lowered and the other wine glass floating in midair before her, untouched.

CISSY
Bella, please!

SNAPE
Now now, Narcissa, we should allow Bellatrix a chance to convey her...mistrust in me. You doubt I can aid your sister?

BELLATRIX
I doubt my sister's judgment in placing her trust in a man who's spent the last 17 years under Dumbledore's thumb! Tell me, Snape, where do your loyalties lie?

SNAPE
You mean this (lifting up his sleeve to show The Dark Mark branded into his arm) is not sufficient answer?

BELLATRIX
Not as to why you've made your home at Hogwarts, not as to why you did not immediately rejoin The Dark Lord after his return -

SNAPE
I have remained at Hogwarts because The Dark Lord wished me to do so - or do you forget the assignment I was given all those years ago? And I returned precisely two hours after The Dark Lord did, on Dumbledore's orders.

BELLATRIX
Dumbledore's orders?

SNAPE
Yes. Or did you forget the old man thought me his spy? He believes I've reclaimed the post I held during the first war, but the truth is quite the reverse. Either way, when The Dark Lord returned I had 16 years of valuable information on Hogwarts and Dumbledore himself to give him. Rather more valuable, I think, than endless stories of how very miserable Azkaban is - 'though I'm sure he appreciated them just the same.

BELLATRIX
Alright then, answer me this: you have had Harry Potter under your watch for 5 years and yet you have never made the slightest attempt -

SNAPE
Potter is Dumbledore's prize pupil. It might just be abit xonspicuous if I were to murder the boy over breakfast in The Great Hall; besides, The Dark Lord has made it clear that he wants Potter for himself. (beat) The Dark Lord trusts my judgment; you doubt his?

Bellatrix wears a scathing look but says no more.

SNAPE
Now Narcissa, you seek my help?

NARCISSA
It's my son. The Dark Lord has given him a mission.

BELLATRIX
You should not be speaking of the plan to anyone, much less him!

SNAPE
I already know of the boy's assignment.

NARCISSA
(a pleading look on her face) Than you know you must help! Severus, please, you are his favorite student, he trusts you, you must protect him!

BELLATRIX
The boy needs no protection! You should be proud!

NARCISSA
Proud?! I-it is only punishment for Lucius' failure to retrieve the prophecy, I know it! Severus, I must know...will you assist him, watch over him, complete his task if he cannot?

Snape contemplates this but decides with a firm tone:

SNAPE
I will.

So that's it. I cut The Unbreakable Vow because, as others on other threads have said, it's rather irrelevant after 'DH' and besides, Snape will bring it up later anyway. What's here is a bit rough to be sure, but this is basically what I'd like to see next November. So what do you think?


You know I didn't even notice you posted...we probably were writing at the same time. That was good though, having Snape show the Dark Mark made me smile.

However instead of Lucius just say his father...I dunno I thought it'll be a good idea for the audience not to know who her son was until Diagon Alley and then there's a big 'OOHHHHHHH' from the audience. Welcome to the thread though!!! Post more...NOW!!!!


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  #86  
Old December 21st, 2007, 7:43 pm
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Re: Fan Scripts: Script your own version of Harry Potter

Thanks for the comments, guys, much appreciated. I've just gone back and corrected a few little things (like I slipped and had Narcissa saying Snape was Draco's favorite student ). I'm making some touch-ups on the next scene, as I've really just started this one. As I really have no life, I'm working on DH as well, so I've spent more time on that one.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Phrozenone View Post
However instead of Lucius just say his father...I dunno I thought it'll be a good idea for the audience not to know who her son was until Diagon Alley and then there's a big 'OOHHHHHHH' from the audience.
I know exactly what you mean. In fact, what's there now is really just a placeholder. Saying "his father" just seems a bit unnatural to me; I mean, why wouldn't Narcissa just use Lucius' name when talking to Snape? However, I do agree with the notion of giving the audience another small surprise and realizing that she was talking about Malfoy and beginning the suspicion toward him right when Harry does. How about just "It is only punishment for what happened at the Ministry?" I mean, it's a line that would never make sense to those who hadn't seen OotP, but then again, I'm really writing this movie as a sequel, and I think if you're walking into the sixth movie, chances are you've seen the fifth.

And here's a question: can you imagine the dialogue I do have now coming from Alan Rickman, Helena Bonham Carter, and Helen McCrory? Because I do really want to write an HP movie I'd be happy with, and part of that is writing to the actors' rythms and speech patterns as we've seen them, even if this isn't the real script, obviously. Do you know what I mean, or am I just overcomplicating this to point of insanity?


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Old December 21st, 2007, 9:08 pm
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Re: Fan Scripts: Script your own version of Harry Potter

Quote:
Originally Posted by IenjoyAcidPops View Post
Thanks for the comments, guys, much appreciated. I've just gone back and corrected a few little things (like I slipped and had Narcissa saying Snape was Draco's favorite student ). I'm making some touch-ups on the next scene, as I've really just started this one. As I really have no life, I'm working on DH as well, so I've spent more time on that one.



I know exactly what you mean. In fact, what's there now is really just a placeholder. Saying "his father" just seems a bit unnatural to me; I mean, why wouldn't Narcissa just use Lucius' name when talking to Snape? However, I do agree with the notion of giving the audience another small surprise and realizing that she was talking about Malfoy and beginning the suspicion toward him right when Harry does. How about just "It is only punishment for what happened at the Ministry?" I mean, it's a line that would never make sense to those who hadn't seen OotP, but then again, I'm really writing this movie as a sequel, and I think if you're walking into the sixth movie, chances are you've seen the fifth.

And here's a question: can you imagine the dialogue I do have now coming from Alan Rickman, Helena Bonham Carter, and Helen McCrory? Because I do really want to write an HP movie I'd be happy with, and part of that is writing to the actors' rythms and speech patterns as we've seen them, even if this isn't the real script, obviously. Do you know what I mean, or am I just overcomplicating this to point of insanity?


Calm down. Take a deep breathe...there you go...theereeee you goooo.

I understand everything you're saying lol. The thing about it is I wrote my HBP script long before the film came out so I will of course rewrite to make it fit in what happened in the 5th movie. Also I'm always doing the characters voices and making the faces I'd think they'd make when I'm writing it I know I'm weird but I really understand your 'writing to the actors rythms'


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Old December 21st, 2007, 10:07 pm
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Re: Fan Scripts: Script your own version of Harry Potter

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Originally Posted by Phrozenone View Post
Yeah that's what I did and that's a good idea. Write all you can and go back. It's tough though because you'll find there are alot of parts you like but they just don't flow well. That's when the whole 'combining' scenes thing can happen. It'll be easier once you have it all down and you're able to just read it from front to back.
I don't know If you noticed, but I've tried the combining scene thing in Hagrid's/Harry's talk before Diagon Alley. I previously (You may find it somewhere on here) had three or four scenes and then whittled in down to just the one (or two if you include when they wake up) in the boat.

I'm going to be so attached to this script. It'll be hard to cut when it's finished.

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Originally Posted by Phrozenone View Post
And honestly they never said Hedwig's name in the movie so just having Harry call the name sometime in the film works just as well.
The only time it was said was in a DELETED SCENE (The Neville/Choclate Frog/Dumbledore/Flamel one). And there was a piece of music called Hedwig's theme! Who is Hedwig?????

OK, back to being a critic....

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Originally Posted by Phrozenone View Post
GEORGE
IT’s ok mum he’s just a little love struck

RON
Shut up!

INT. -DEN-MORNING (LATER THAT DAY)

The scene cuts to Lupin, Mr. Weasley, and Harry sitting around the fireplace as Christmas music plays in the background.
I find this a bad transition...

Quote:
Originally Posted by Phrozenone View Post
HARRY
And that’s what happened.
...and I hate it when scenes start with 'And' it makes you feel like you're missing something.
E.g. OotP:MOLLY WEASLEY
Presents!

CUTS TO LATER:

MOLLY WEASLEY
And a big box for Ron.


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Originally Posted by Phrozenone View Post
LUPIN
I neither like nor dislike Severus. We shall never be friends, but I do not forget that during the year at Hogwarts, Severus made the Wolfsbane Potion for me every month, so that I did not have to suffer as I usually do at the full moon. He kept me healthy, I must be grateful.
Since your script is following the movies, I wouldn't put something in that wasn't in one of them...

Quote:
Originally Posted by Phrozenone View Post
There is a crash heard from in the kitchen and we hear Mrs. Weasley yelling at the twins.

MR. WEASLEY
I think I’m needed in this situation…
(He jumps up and runs out of the room)
Random...

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Originally Posted by Phrozenone View Post
LUPIN
Yes. My father had offended him.

INT-RONS BEDROOM-CHRISTMAS MORNING

The scene cuts to another snowy shot of the Burrow and we hear hear Rons voice and then the scene pops in with him holding up a thick gold chain.
Attack of the bad transitions! (I am quite negative, aren't I?)

Quote:
Originally Posted by Phrozenone View Post
RON
If you tell them..I…I…I’ll…

HARRY
Stutter at me?


Quote:
Originally Posted by Phrozenone View Post
MRS. WEASLEY
Thanks Harry dear. Bill could you please stop eating like an animal!

BILL
What!
Another random moment...

Quote:
Originally Posted by Phrozenone View Post
GINNY
You have a maggot in your hair Harry
(She reaches over and plucks it out of his hair.)

HARRY
(Chuckles nervously)
Thanks
Ohhhhhhhhh!!!!

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Originally Posted by Phrozenone View Post
SCRIMGEOUR
Well, it is clear to me that he has done a very good job on you. Dumbledores man through and through, aren’t you, Potter?

HARRY
You got it.


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Originally Posted by IenjoyAcidPops View Post
For the love of God, be gentle!
I'll keep that in mind

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Originally Posted by IenjoyAcidPops View Post
The dim outlines of a few rooftops and chimneys are the only things visible through the oddly insistent mist. The Warner Bros. logo slowly moves out of this mist toward the camera, which then travels through it to show a street sign bearing the name Spinner's End. Dissolve to the profile of Severus Snape, levitating two wine glasses before him.
Have you thought about the colour of the mist? Green, IMO, would be best, given the US's cover (and also parts of the UK!)

This may come across a little harsh, so... Edit: It isn't that gentle after all...
Spoiler: show
Why dissolve from the sign to Snape? I, personally, think that would look horrible. You may love it, so that is personal choice. Just I want to ask whether you picture this happening, because even cutting from a sign to a face this early kind of looks wrong, IMO. And that wasn't very gentle, sorry.........


Quote:
Originally Posted by IenjoyAcidPops View Post
SNAPE
I must say, this is a pleasant surprise. What brings you to the family home?
I can't remember if that was in the book or not, but that is a good way of introducing the place and also helps with the setup of The Prince's Tale.

Quote:
Originally Posted by IenjoyAcidPops View Post
WOMAN #2
Cissy, how many times must I tell you we cannot trust him before it sinks in?
Even though HBP is possible the book I have read the most, I don't have a clue what Bellatrix is on about...

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Originally Posted by IenjoyAcidPops View Post
SNAPE
You mean this (lifting up his sleeve to show The Dark Mark branded into his arm) is not sufficient answer?
And finally movie-goers will begin to question Snape. (*Gets annoyed at Newell*)

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Originally Posted by IenjoyAcidPops View Post
NARCISSA
Proud?! It is only punishment for Lucius' failure to retrieve the prophecy, I know it! Severus, I must know...will you assist him, watch over him, complete his task if he cannot?
I agree with Phrozenone. Saying Lucius ruins the effect. Since no link has yet to be discovered between Bellatrix and Draco and we have not meet Narcissa, I think it'd be better to leave Draco anonymous

Edit: I forgot about the Vow cut. I have this to say: It is effective yet I'd prefer the scene to end at Narcissa's proposal, so the audience questions until the middle of the movie (When Harry finds out).



Last edited by ArryGrotter; December 21st, 2007 at 10:31 pm.
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  #89  
Old December 21st, 2007, 11:23 pm
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Re: Fan Scripts: Script your own version of Harry Potter

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Originally Posted by ArryGrotter View Post
I'll keep that in mind
Don't worry too much I was just kidding. Constructive criticism is appreciated, of course.


Quote:
Originally Posted by ArryGrotter View Post
Have you thought about the colour of the mist? Green, IMO, would be best, given the US's cover (and also parts of the UK!)
Honestly, I'm not quite certain. I don't want a drab shade of gray, of course, and I like green, but I really don't want the same shade of green as the potion or the Killing Curse. We don't want this movie to have too repetitive a color palette, after all. So I'm still pondering that one.


Quote:
Originally Posted by ArryGrotter View Post
Why dissolve from the sign to Snape? I, personally, think that would look horrible. You may love it, so that is personal choice. Just I want to ask whether you picture this happening, because even cutting from a sign to a face this early kind of looks wrong, IMO. And that wasn't very gentle, sorry.........
This is one of the things I meant when I said it was rough. It's really just a matter of expediency. I don't feel we need to see Narcissa and Bellatrix walking toward the house, killing the fox, etc. I'd rather start on Snape. I'm not strongly attached to it, but I would like to know why you feel it's horrible. Just out of curiosity, that's all. .


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Originally Posted by ArryGrotter View Post
Even though HBP is possible the book I have read the most, I don't have a clue what Bellatrix is on about...
Well, no, the exact line is not from the book, but this passage gets the same idea across:

"Then you ought to hold your tongue!" snarled Bellatrix. "Particularly in present company!"

"Present company?" repeated Snape sardonically. "And what am I to understand by that, Bellatrix?"

"That I don't trust you, Snape, as you very well know!"


So, I just thought that line was a good way for Bellatrix to enter the scene and quickly tell us that she doesn't trust Snape. Of course, I could just use the lines I just quoted. Hmmmm...




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Originally Posted by ArryGrotter View Post
I agree with Phrozenone. Saying Lucius ruins the effect. Since no link has yet to be discovered between Bellatrix and Draco and we have not meet Narcissa, I think it'd be better to leave Draco anonymous
Well, I did address this in my last post. I'm not sure whether you've read that or not.


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Calm down. Take a deep breathe...there you go...theereeee you goooo.
Okay, breath taken.


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Last edited by IenjoyAcidPops; December 22nd, 2007 at 2:26 am.
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  #90  
Old December 22nd, 2007, 12:28 am
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Re: Fan Scripts: Script your own version of Harry Potter

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Originally Posted by IenjoyAcidPops View Post
Don't worry too much I was just kidding. Constructive criticism is appreciated, of course.
Ok, I wasn't entirely sure.

Quote:
Originally Posted by IenjoyAcidPops View Post
This is one of the things I meant when I said it was rough. It's really just a matter of expediency. I don't feel we need to see Narcissa and Bellatrix walking toward the house, killing the fox, etc. I'd rather start on Snape. I'm not strongly attached to it, but I would like to know why you feel it's horrible. Just out of curiosity, that's all. .
I simply just found it odd that we are are flying down to this town and suddenly stop at this street sign and it just turns into Snape's face. I think is would have been better if we passed the sign and flew into Snape's house (Then when'd be 100% sure of the location too). I personally don't think the before fight is needed either.

Quote:
Originally Posted by IenjoyAcidPops View Post
Well, no, the exact line is not from the book, but this passage gets the same idea across:

"Then you ought to hold your tongue!" snarled Bellatrix. "Particularly in present company!"

"Present company?" repeated Snape sardonically. "And what am I to understand by that, Bellatrix?"

"That I don't trust you, Snape, as you very well know!"

So, I just thought that line was a good way for Bellatrix to enter the scene and quickly tell us that she doesn't trust Snape. Of course, I could just use the lines I just quoted. Hmmmm...
I think the 'before it sinks in' bit was odd. It'd probably be better to use one of these lines.

Quote:
Originally Posted by IenjoyAcidPops View Post
Well, I did address this in my last post. I'm not sure whether you've read that or not.
I'm sorry, I must've miss read it and thought you siad that Snape said to Narcissa 'Lucius'. Though, if you can find a way to find Lucius not adressed, that would be good.


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  #91  
Old December 22nd, 2007, 1:01 am
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Re: Fan Scripts: Script your own version of Harry Potter

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Originally Posted by ArryGrotter View Post
I simply just found it odd that we are are flying down to this town and suddenly stop at this street sign and it just turns into Snape's face. I think is would have been better if we passed the sign and flew into Snape's house (Then when'd be 100% sure of the location too).
Well, I'm not sure what to do here myself but I'm certainly going to change that first shot after the street sign. Again, what's there now is just a placeholder.


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I personally don't think the before fight is needed either.
You mean the thing with the fox, right?

Okay, I've gone back and made some very minor edits to that scene. Just a few line changes; just skim and you'll notice what they are. I didn't dislike what I had in those spots, but I think what's here now might just flow a little better.


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  #92  
Old December 22nd, 2007, 1:06 am
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Re: Fan Scripts: Script your own version of Harry Potter

Yeah I meant the fox.

Going to look...

Quote:
Originally Posted by IenjoyAcidPops View Post
WOMAN #2
Cissy, you should not speaking of the plan to anyone, let alone present company!

The voice belongs to Bellatrix Lestrange, her hood now lowered and the other wine glass floating in midair before her, untouched.

CISSY
Bella, please!

SNAPE
Now now, Narcissa, we should allow Bellatrix a chance to convey her...mistrust in me. "Present company"? You doubt I can aid your sister?


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NARCISSA
Proud?! It is only punishment for what happened at the Ministry, I know it! Severus, I must know...will you assist him, watch over him, complete his task if he cannot?
More thumbs:


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  #93  
Old December 22nd, 2007, 1:52 am
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Re: Fan Scripts: Script your own version of Harry Potter

Quote:
Originally Posted by ArryGrotter
I simply just found it odd that we are are flying down to this town and suddenly stop at this street sign and it just turns into Snape's face. I think is would have been better if we passed the sign and flew into Snape's house (Then when'd be 100% sure of the location too). I personally don't think the before fight is needed either.
Yes, normally a fade into a face is done with a more comparable object: a sign into a face simply looks awkward. Instead, I would have the sign in the foreground, with Snape's house (though the audience does not know it) clearly visible (at least show a long line of houses, and a gentle stop at Snape's). Then, the camera zooms to his neglected home as two women silently appear in a swirl of a cloak. A soft tap is heard and the women shuffle inside. Then you can proceed with the scene.

Personally, I would wait to introduce the title until after the Vow is made (this is just me - I love prologues). This is how I picture the Spinner's End scene (dramatically cut, of course):

The film will open with the classic zoom through the sky, but the camera catches sight of a tattered cloak and the sucking of air (the perspective of a dementor). We fly down to a little hamlet, rushing past a sign that reads "Spinner's End" and next to a neglected home. The camera looks in through a dusty window and you see two silhouettes and hear a low hum of voices. Soon, the camera penetrates the glass and enters the room, and as one gentle, nervous voice speaks, the camera focuses on a black hood with locks of golden hair visible.
"Will you, Severus Snape, watch over my son as he attempts to fulfill the Dark Lord's wishes?"
"I will." (The camera flashes to a strip of rope-like flame twines itself around two locked hands - remains focused on hands)
"And will you, to the best of your ability, protect him from harm?"
"I will." (A second strip joins the first)
"And, should it prove necessary, will you carry out the deed that the Dark Lord has ordered to be performed?"
(Pause - hesitation - camera flicks to a man's face - Snape's face) OR (Camera shows the man's hand jerk, as if almost pulling away)
"I will." (Camera concentrates on Snape's face, coming closer and closer, until he looks down, and so does the camera. The camera is enveloped in flame and out erupts the title: Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince.)

This is one way to do it. If this scene is kept, this is all it should be. The Bellatrix-Snape mania is simply a waste of time. Furthermore, no introduction should be included on who the woman is, since the audience should have no clue she is talking about Draco - they will be enlightened at Slughorn's feast. Therefore, why even show Narcissa coming to Snape's door? Why not simply show the Unbreakable Vow (the sole important part of this scene - at least, for moviegoers)? It is a swift, mysterious scene before the title (not a lengthy one like in SS/PS), and it conveys more in 30 seconds to 1 minute than a 5 minute scene would.


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  #94  
Old December 22nd, 2007, 4:31 am
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Re: Fan Scripts: Script your own version of Harry Potter

MrSleepyHead, I have nothing much to say, which preety much means

Anyway, I just wanted to say that I just did a rough write of the train scene. 10 PAGES! I couldn't beleive it. I can definately see some areas to change now, though so that will cut back. I have some work to do.


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Old December 22nd, 2007, 4:47 am
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Re: Fan Scripts: Script your own version of Harry Potter

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Originally Posted by MrSleepyHead View Post
Why not simply show the Unbreakable Vow (the sole important part of this scene - at least, for moviegoers)? It is a swift, mysterious scene before the title (not a lengthy one like in SS/PS), and it conveys more in 30 seconds to 1 minute than a 5 minute scene would.
Why not just show The Unbreakable Vow? Because for me the importance of the scene lies not in the Vow but in telling the reader/viewer that perhaps Snape really can't be trusted. This is even more the case in the films, which have never raised a question of his loyalty - at all. I simply don't feel showing the Vow gets this across enough. I don't think moviegoers (and I hate to just use generalities like that because everyone is different) would mind a five-minute scene like the one I posted.


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Old December 22nd, 2007, 5:24 am
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Re: Fan Scripts: Script your own version of Harry Potter

Ok guys as a special holiday treat instead of the next chapter of HBP I will present to you guys..the never seen by public eyes...my screenplay for Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows. I started on this a while back and I've yet to finish it actually (Writers block..cutting some characters proved harder than I thought) So here it is and I know I know it's horrible. I was just playing around with ideas (And as a side note this was pre Dumbledore's big announcement so don't read into the opening scene to much )


I just wanted to see you guys opinion on it really so here it is and Happy Holidays!



EXT. DARK VILLAGE-NIGHT

The WB logo slowly floats towards the screen out of a sea of dark clouds. As we fly through the logo flashes of light are seen in the distance. The camera slowly moves forward as we see two wizards throwing spells at each other in the distance. We then see ALBUS DUMBLEDORE standing with is wand at the ready with rubble all around him with fire in his eyes. Across the screen we see Fifty (?) years earlier.

DUMBLEDORE
You don’t have to do this Grindewald, please old friend listen to reason!

A powerful spell is thrown at Dumbledore and he produces a shield that deflects it and there’s a loud BOOM as the spell hits a nearby building sending debris flying everywhere. GRINDEWALD stands on the opposite side of Dumbledore with a huge smile on his face.

GRINDEWALD
Why do you oppose me Albus? You know of the power that I hold, we were once on the same page…

DUMBLEDORE
Things change Grindewald and so do people.

GRINDEWALD
That’s unfortunate….

Grindewald throws a bright red spell at Dumbledore, which Dumbledore barely avoids while throwing a series of blue spells at Grindewald. Grindewald deflects the spells back at Dumbledore and one hits him sending him off his feet flying backwards. Dumbledore stumbles up on his feet and looks up with defeat in his eyes as Grindewald slowly walks towards him with a smile.

GRINDEWALD
Your effort was admirable Albus, but you knew that it was foolish to oppose me. I am all-powerful…

DUMBLEDORE
Perhaps…EXPELLIARMUS!

The spell knocks Grindewalds wand out of his hand and sends it flying in the air. The camera shows the wand flying into the air towards Dumbledore.

DUMBLEDORE
But you in all your ignorance forgot that the simplest of spell could do the trick…
(He smiles as he reaches up into the air and grabs Grindewalds wand)
And now I have your precious wand…old friend.

Gridewald drops to his knees in defeat as the camera zooms pass him into the night sky into those eerie clouds as ‘Present Day’ scrolls across the screen the camera approaches a high gate which opens as it passes through going towards the MALFOY MANOR.

INT. MALFOY MANOR-NIGHT

Inside the home the camera follows NAGINI the snake as she slithers beside a table. We hear voices talking as she continues to move towards the table.

VOLDEMORT
(Offscreen)
What news do you bring Severus?

SNAPE
(Offscreen)
The Order of the Phoenix intends to move Harry Potter from his current place of safety on Saturday at nightfall.

We see a hand reach out for Nagini as she slowly moves up the arm and we see our first look at LORD VOLDEMORT as she wraps herself around his neck. Sitting beside him is SEVERUS SNAPE

VOLDEMORT
Saturday…

There is a shuffle and Voldemort looks over at BELLATRIX LASTRANGE who is sitting beside NARCISSA, LUCIUS, and DRACO MALFOY.

BELLATRIX
My lord, do you think it safe to trust Severus.

VOLDEMORT
Ah yes my dear Bellatrix, he has earned my trust yet again. Lucius…

LUCIUS
Yes, my lord.

VOLDEMORT
Give me your wand.

Lucius glances sideways at as she Narcissa puts her arm around Draco and pulls him closer to her as Voldemort says this.

LUCIUS
My…my wand my lord?

VOLDEMORT
Yes Lucius….

Lucius slowly hands his wand over to Voldemort as he takes it and examines it.

VOLDEMORT
Yes…yes…this shall do well.

There is crying heard off screen and the camera pans back to show the whole entire table full of Death Eaters and a body slowly revolving over the table up side down.

VOLDEMORT
I think Nagini is hungry now…

The camera is now in the POV of the person hanging above the table. Voldemort points the wand directly at the screen.

VOLDEMORT
AVADA KADAVRA!

The spell flies at the screen and the screen flashes GREEN as the title ‘HARRY POTTER AND THE DEATHLY HALLOWS’ appears. The title hovers for a second and there’s a flash as we’re taken too…

INT. THE DURSLEYS-HARRY’S ROOM-NIGHT

HARRY POTTER is standing looking out of his window. He sighs and turns around and we see that the room is empty and all of his belongings are packed. HEDWIG hoots in her cage and Harry walks over to it.

HARRY
It’s too dangerous to let you out right now Hedwig. But we should be out of here soon and you’ll be able to fly as much as you want.

He smiles and strokes Hedwig on the beak and turns around and sits on his bed. He picks up the DAILY PROPHET that’s beside him and opens it up and we see a picture of Dumbledore smiling up at him and beside him it says ‘Albus Dumbledore Remembered’ Harry reads through it and his eye catches the name in AKNOWLODEMENTS: BATHILDA BAGSIDE. GODRICS HOLLOW.

HARRY
Look Hedwig. This person’s from Godrics Hollow…. the same place my parents were killed. Wonder how she knows Dumbledore….

Harry sighs and closes the newspaper.

INT. THE DURSLEYS-LIVING ROOM-MOMENTS LATER

The scene cuts to VERNON, PETUNIA, AND DUDLEY DURSLEY standing in the living room with all their bags packed. Harry is standing in front of them with all of his belongings behind him as we join in the middle of the conversation.

HARRY
This is for your own good and you know it. It’s not safe here and if you don’t leave right now Voldemort will probably kill you all to get to me.

VERNON
Now you listen here boy, if this is some crazy plot to get this house…

HARRY
I’ve already got a house, my godfather left me one, and do you seriously think I’d want this place. What for do I presume, the happy memories?

PETUNIA
Don’t you dare….

HARRY
There’s no time for this. If you want to stay then feel free! You know where to meet members of the Order and they will escort you to somewhere safe, but if you’d rather stay here….

DUDLEY
We want to go.

VERNON
Dudley?

HARRY
There you go! Now it’s best if you leave…now. They’re waiting for you.

VERNON
Well then…I guess this is good-bye then, boy.

PETUNIA
Are you ready Diddy?

DUDLEY
Before we go…
(He walks up to Harry)
I never got to say….well…thank you. You saved my life.
(He reaches out his hand and he and Harry shake hands.)

HARRY
Blimey Dudley, did the dementors blow a different personality into you?

DUDLEY
Dunno, See you Harry!

They all look at Harry one last time and precede to walk out of the house with their things. Petunia turns back one last time and closes the door behind her. He stares at the door for a second and walks over to where Hedwig cage is sitting in the living room and sits down on the couch.

HARRY
So I guess this is the last time we’re going to see this place Hedwig. So many memories…rarely any of them are pleasant.
(He looks at the Cupboard door under the stairs)
I used to sleep under there Hedwig, you never knew me then. It looks so small now….

There is a sound made in the kitchen that makes Harry jumps up. He pulls out his wand and walks slowly into the kitchen.

INT. DURSLEYS-KITCHEN-MOMENTS LATER

Harry walks into the kitchen and see’s HAGRID smiling down at him.

HAGRID
All righ’ Harry? Ready fer the off?

Following behind him is HERMION, RON, FRED, GEORGE, MAD EYE, MR. WEASLEY, TONKS, LUPIN, KINGSLEY, MUNDUNGES FLETCHER, BILL, AND FLUER all smiling at him except Mundunges who looks frightened.

HARRY
Wow, I wasn’t expecting this many of you.

MAD EYE
Change of plan…

HARRY
Well it’s great to see you all…well..except…
(He looks at Mundungus)
Who are you?

MUNDUNGUS
Oh um…

MAD EYE
Mundungus Fletcher…a ruddy coward like I’ve ever known, but he’s the one who came up with this great idea…

HARRY
What idea?

MAD EYE
Well your mothers charm will only break under two conditions: when you come of age or you no longer call this place home. So this time, when you leave, there’ll be no going back and the charm will break the moment you get outside it’s range…

KINGSLEY
The one thing we’ve got on our side is that You-Know-Who doesn’t know we’re moving you tonight.

TONKS
You’ll be going to my parents Harry, once you’re within the boundaries of the protective enchantments we’ve put on the house, you’ll be able to Portkey to the Burrow.

HARRY
Won’t it be kinda obvious where we’re going? I mean there are fourteen of us flying towards your parents….

MAD EYE
Ah yes and here is the key to the plan. There will be seven Harry Potters moving through the skies tonight, each of them with a companion, each pair heading for a different safe house.

HARRY
But..
(Moody plucks a piece of Harry’s hair out of his head)
Ow!

MAD EYE
Granger! You’ve got the Polyjuice potion.

HERMIONE
Here it is sir…

MAD EYE
Good. Now all seven Harry Potter line up over there.

Ron, Hermione, Fred, George, and Fluer all walk to to the other side of the kitchen and line up. Mad Eye pushed Mundungus forward and he reluctantly joins them.

HARRY
This is mad….

FRED
Well, none of us really fancy it Harry.

GEORGE
Imagine if something went wrong and we were stuck as specky, scrawny gits forever!

HARRY
Funny….

Mad Eye hands each of them a small container filled with polyjuice poition.

MAD EYE
All together then.

They all take a big gulp of the drink. All of a sudden all of their features start to change into Harry. Harry stares in disbelief as now there are 7 other Harry Potter’s standing in front of him.

FRED AND GEORGE
(They look at each other)
Wow…we’re identical!

HERMIONE
Harry your eyesight really is awful!

MAD EYE
Great…now Harry you will go with Hagrid on Sirius’s old bike. The Death Eaters will expect you to be on a broom.

EXT. DURSLEY’S BACKYARD-MOMENTS LATER

The scene cuts to everyone on their respected item of transportation. Harry looks around nervously.

HARRY
Hagrid, are you sure this is safe.

HAGRID
Don’ worry ‘arry, there are a few tricks on this bike if anythin ‘appens.

MAD EYE
Good luck, everyone! See you all in about an hour at the Burrow. On the count of three. One…two…THREE!!!

Harry grasps on to Hedwigs cage in his lap as the bike starts and everyone takes off into the night sky. They rose into the sky and then suddenly out of knowhere they were surrounded by atleast thirthy hooded figures circles around them. Flashed of green light starts to fly throughout the air as the Death Eaters start throwing spells at the Order. Hagrid turns the bike sharply to avoid a spell and the others split off into separate directions. As the bike turns to the side Harry’s broomstick and Hedwig’s cage both fly out. Harry manages to grab Hedwigs’ cage then BOOM a spell hit’s Hedwig and she lands on the bottom of her cage dead.

HARRY
No…NO!

The motorbike zooms ahead forward and Harry holds the cage close to his chest.

HARRY
Hedwig…Hedwig!!

The scene then shifts to Moody and Mundungus flying quickly avoiding spells. Then all of a sudden Voldemort appears and he’s FLYING towards them quickly.

MUNDUNGUS
Oh my..he can fly..HE CAN FLY MOODY!!!

MAD EYE
Nose down Fletcher, he has to believe you’re Harry…

MUNDUNGUS
No…no I didn’t sign on for this…

VOLDEMORT
Avada….

MUNDUNGUS
(Whispers)
No…

VOLDEMORT
Kadavra!

As the green light shoots out of his wand Mundungus Apparates off of the broom stick and BOOM Mad Eye is hit with the spell and falls off of his broom. Voldemort sneers and apparatus in the middle of the air. The scene shifts back to Harry and Hagrid still dodging spells in the air. Harry is throwing stunning spells back as Hagrid turns.

HARRY
There’s to many of them….

HAGRID
This’ll do it Harry, hold on tight!

Hagrid pushes a purple button and SWOOSH a loud roar occurs and white-hot and blue flams come bursting out of the exhaust sending the bike speeding away. A death eater sways to avoid the fire. Harry looks down to notice that the sudden speed has caused the sidecar to sway and it was coming apart from the bike and then CRACK it broke away. Harry quickly pulls out his wand….

HARRY
Wingardium Leviosa!

The sidecar stopped momentarily and Harry looks up to notice the 3 Death Eaters closing in fast.

HARRY
Impedimenta!

The spell hits the Death Eater in the middle and as the sidecar starts to fall again. A spell comes flying at Harry who ducks to avoid it and hits his mouth on the side of the side car and then Hagrids hand grabs the back of his shirt and pulls him up onto the bike. Harry is now sitting back to back with Hagrid who continues to fly and dodge spells. Harry looks down at the falling sidecar.

HARRY
Confringo!

The spell hits the sidecar and it explodes which knocked the Death Eater closest to it off of his broom. The remaining Death Eaters continue to fly towards Harry and the hood of one flies off of his head revealing that he’s STAN SHUNPIKE.

HARRY
Stan Shunpike…no…
(Stan points his wand at Harry)
Expelliarmus!

STAN
(He smiles)
That’s him, it’s him, it’s the real one.

Both Death Eaters look at each other and vanish out of sight.

HAGRID
Harry, what’s happened? Where’ve they gone?

HARRY
I…I don’t know!

HAGRID
Hold on tight Harry, we’re nearly there….

Hagrid pushes the button again and SWOOSH it takes off again. The bike starts to dip a little and Harry grabs his scar and starts to scream out in pain. SWOOSH Voldemort appears suddenly flying quickly towards them. Hagrid turns sharply as Harry starts to send out stunning spells, knocking one of the Death Eaters off of their broom and then BANG a spell hits the motorbike and sends it spiraling through the air out of control. Spells are still flying around them as a death eater appears beside them.

HAGRID
NO!

Hagrid jumps off the bike and jumps on the Death Eaters broom on top of him and they both plummet towards the earth.

VOLDEMORT
Avada…

Harry lays his head down in defeat. His hand moves up and BAM a burst of golden fire shoots from his wand shocking Voldemort as it hits the wand cracking it as Voldemort is thrown back.

VOLDEMORT
NO!!!

Harry looks around and pushes the button and SWOOSH off again the bike goes. Harry turns around and sees Voldemort grab the wand of the nearest Death Eater. He points the wand at Harry and his eyes widen and SWOOSH he vanishes. Harry turns suddenly to try and control the out of control motorbike. He notices down on the ground Hagrid spread eagle on the ground.

HARRY
HAGRID!

Harry pulls hard at the handlebars and CRASH he slams into a muddy pond. He is thrown out and lands on his back and screen cuts to black.

INT. TONKS RESIDENCE-LIVING ROOM-MOMENTS LATER

TED TONKS
(Through the darkness)
Harry…Harry Potter…

The screen fades back in from Harry’s point of view looking up at TED TONKS staring down on him. Harry jumps up suddenly and looks around. Ted hands him his glasses.

TED
You’re safe now, we now know the protective charms we put up are working. Voldemort and the Death Eaters couldn’t get through.

HARRY
Hagrid…

TED
He’s fine…don’t worry. The wife is doing final patches on him. That’s a pretty nasty fall you made.

HARRY
Are you Tonks father?

TED
Ted Tonks at your service Mr. Potter. The portkey to the burrow is waiting, you best be off soon. Do me a favor though, let us know if Nymphadora’s alright and if all is well tell her we’ll be there for the wedding next week.

HARRY
Wedding?

TED
Haven’t you heard? Dora and Remus are getting married. But enough of that later, lets get you to that Portkey.

EXT-THE BURROW-FRONT YARD-NIGHT-MOMENTS LATER

The scene cuts to a shot of THE BURROW up the hill. There’s a FLASH and Harry and Hagrid fall onto the ground. We see lights come on in the distance and figures running towards them. As Harry gets up and dusts himself off we see MRS. WEASLEY run up to him and wrap her arms around him.

MRS. WEASLEY
Oh Harry, my dear boy we were so worried. You were the only one’s who haven’t arrived yet, I didn’t know….

HARRY
I’m fine Mrs. Weasley…is everyone else okay?

MRS. WEASLEY
(She stares sadly at Harry)
I’m afraid not, come in dear. We’ll fill you in on everything.

INT-THE BURROW-LIVING ROOM-MOMENTS LATER

Harry follows Mrs. Weasley into the living room. Everyone turns around. Harry notices GINNY and then notices George lying on the couch with a bandage around his head.

HARRY
What happened to him?

GINNY
Snape used the Sectumsempra spell on him, took his ear clean off.

Lupin jumps up and rushes to Harry, placing his hands firmly on his shoulders and looking into his eyes.

LUPIN
What creature sat in the corner the first time that Harry Potter visited my office at Hogwarts!

HARRY
A…a grindylow in a tank, wasn’t it?

LUPIN
It’s him
(he backs away from Harry and goes to sit beside Tonks)
We’ve been betrayed Harry. Voldemort knew that you were being moved tonight...someone…

HARRY
None of the Order would have told Voldemort we were moving tonight. He only caught up with me towards the end…

TONKS
He caught up with you?

RON
Blimey Harry how did you escape?

LUPIN
Not only that, but how did they figure out it was you.

HARRY
I…well…I don’t’ know really. I saw Stan Shunpike, remember he drove the Knight Bus. And I tried to disarm him instead of….well…he doesn’t know what he’s dong does he? He must’ve been Imperiused.

LUPIN
Harry, the time for Disarming is past! These people are trying to kill you! Atleast Stun if you aren’t prepared to kill!

HARRY
We were hundreds of feet up! Stan’s not himself and if I stunned him and he’d fallen, he’d have died the same as if I’d used Avada Kadavra!

LUPIN
You’re missing the point Harry…

HARRY
Am I? Correct me if I’m wrong but Expelliarmus saved me from Voldemort two years ago! I won’t blast people out of my way just because they’re there, that’s Voldemorts job!

They all stare at Harry who looks around the room and notices someone missing.

HARRY
Where’s Moody?

Everyone’s head drops at the mention of his name.

KINGSLEY
He didn’t make it Harry.

Harry turns around from all of them in the state of shock. Tears swelling up in his eyes.

HARRY
I can’t stay here. You’re all in danger while I’m here. I don’t want…

MRS. WEASLEY
Don’t be silly! The whole point tonight was to get you here safely.

HAGRID
Yer not goin’ anywhere…

MR. WEASLEY
Look at what we went through to get you here.

GEORGE
Yeah, what about my bleeding ear?

They all turn and look at George who’s just awakened.

FRED
Are you all right?

GEORGE
Yeah, I feel saint like actually. You see brother…I’m holy. Holey
(He points at his missing ear)
Get it?

FRED
With the whole wide world of ear related humor before you, you go for holey?

HAGRID
See ‘arry you can’t go

GEORGE
Ear, Ear!

FRED
That’s better!

HARRY
Fine I’ll…stay. Is it alright if I go to bed?

MRS. WEASLEY
Of course dear. Do you want me to fetch Hedwig for you, I’ll put her up with the other owls.

Harry eyes fell. He hadn’t thought about it and it seems everyone else in the room notices. Ginny and Hermione both start crying and Mrs. Weasley places her hand over her mouth in shock.

HARRY
Can I please…just go to sleep…

He turns and leaves everyone.
INT. THE BURROW-RON’S ROOM-NIGHT

The scene cuts to Harry stirring in his sleep. Suddenly FLASH

INT. MALFOY MANOR-DUNGEON-NIGHT

There is a man shown on the floor crying out in pain. He looks up and we see that it is OLLIVANDER.

VOLDEMORT
(Offscreen)
CRUCIO!

Ollivander screams out in pain as Voldemort steps into view, clearly angry.

VOLDEMORT
You lied to Lord Voldemort Ollivander. You say that since Potter and I have the same core in our wands we won’t be able to fight one another, and that if I change wands I could destroy him.

OLLIVANDER
Please...no…I swear...I thought I thought

VOLDEMORT
Lies! You sought to help him, to help him escape…me….

OLLIVANDER
The connection…. exists only between your two wands….

VOLDEMORT
Really?
(He throws Lucius’s broken wand down in front of Ollivander)
Explain this then.

OLLIVANDER
No…I…I….

Voldemort points the wand at Ollivander again who starts to scream out in agony and FLASH

INT. THE BURROW-RONS ROOM-MOMENTS LATER

Harry jumps up as the scream is still being heard on scream. Harry is sweating and panting crazily.

INT. THE BURROW-ROOMS ROOM-MORNING’

The scene cuts to a shot of the Burrow in the morning. We then hear Hermione’s voice as the scene cuts to Harry sitting on his bed and Ron and Hermione are sitting across from him.

HERMIONE
You scar wasn’t supposed to do that anymore Harry! You mustn’t let that connection open up again, Dumbledore wanted you to close your mind. Don’t let him get inside your head!

RON
And you say your wand acted on it’s on to destroy him?

HERMIONE
That’s impossible, I’m sure Harry just reacted instinctively.

HARRY
No Hermione, I’m telling you it wasn’t a spell I recognized. Its like my wand had a power of it’s own….

There’s a knock on the door and Harry turns around and standing there with a birthday cake is Mrs. Weasley and Ginny.

MRS. WEASLEY, RON, GINNY and HERMIONE
Surprise!!

Ron pats him on the back and Hermione jumps up and hugs him before walking past Mrs. Weasley and Ginny out of the room.

RON
Didn’t think we’d forgotten your birthday did you mate?

HARRY
Yes, I’d forgotten myself. I’m seventeen!

RON
Which means you can do magic whenever you want now. Give it a go.

HARRY
Ok…
(Notices a book near Ron’s bed)
Accio Book!

The book flies towards Harry and he catches it and reads the title.

HARRY
Twelve Fail-Safe Ways to Charm Witches…what…

Ron quickly grabs the book and stuffs it under his pillow.

MRS. WEASLEY
Yes, well come on down stairs dear everyone’s waiting!

She turns to leave and they all walk out of the room. Before heading downstairs Ginny grabs him by the arm.

GINNY
We need to talk.

They both back away and Ron turns around as they both walk into Ginny’s room and closes the door.

INT. THE BURROW-GINNY’S ROOM-MOMENTS LATER.

The scene cuts to Ginny walking up to her window and looking out of it as Harry gazes around her room.

GINNY
(sighs)
Happy Seventeenth Harry.

She turns around and faces him.

HARRY
Thanks…ugh...nice view huh?

GINNY
I couldn’t think of what to get you. I know you, Ron, and Hermione are taking off soon on some mission and…I didn’t know what would be useful.

HARRY
Ginny….

GINNY
Nothing too big, because you wouldn’t be able to take it with you.
(She walks closer to him.)
So then I thought, I’d like you to have something to remember me by, you know…just in case you meet someone else while you’re off doing whatever.

HARRY
I think dating opportunities are going to be pretty thin to be honest.

GINNY
There’s the silver lining I’ve been looking for

Ginny reaches in and kisses Harry. They continue to kiss until the door opens and Ron walks in. They break apart and stare at him.

RON
Oh…I was um…sent to fetch Harry. Everyone’s waiting.

Ginny walks out of the room and turns around.

GINNY
Happy birthday anyway, Harry.

She gives a slight smile and walks down the hall. Harry tries to walk out but Ron blocks his way.

RON
You ditched her. What are you doing now, messing her around?

HARRY
I’m not messing her around Ron….

RON
She was really cut up when you ended it…

HARRY
So was I. You know why I stopped it, and it wasn’t because I wanted to…

RON
Yeah? But you go snogging her now and she’s just going to get her hopes up again if you keep groping her every chance you get…

HARRY
It won’t happen again okay?

RON
Right then…well…everyone’s waiting…

Ron turns to walk downstairs and Harry follows.

INT. THE BURROW-KITCHEN-MOMENTS LATER

Ron and Harry walks into the kitchen where Mrs. Weasley, Tonks, Lupin, Hagrid, Fred, George, Ginny, and Hermione are sitting.

EVERYONE
Happy Birthday Harry!!!

There’s a POP and confetti flies everywhere. Harry smiles as Lupin and Tonks both walk up and hug him.

MRS. WEASLEY
Come sit here Harry dear, it’s your special day.

HARRY
Thanks…I…you didn’t have to…

MRS. WEASLEY
Of course we had too…

LUPIN
You’re a man now Harry.

TONKS
We’re so proud of you.

They both look at each other and smile.

HARRY
Your dad tells me you two are getting married, congrats!

They both smile and kiss each other. Hermione, Mrs. Weasley, and Ginny all ‘Awww’ at this.

HAGRID
Seventeen, eh! Six years ter the day since we met, Harry, d’yeh remember it?

HARRY
Yeah….

MRS. WEASLEY
(She hands Harry a watch)
It’s traditional to give a wizard a watch when he comes of age…it’s not much but

Harry jumps up and gives her a hug.

MRS. WEASLEY
(Smiling)
Well everyone grab a plate and dig in!

Everyone starts to pass plates around the table and the camera zooms in on Harry with a smile on his face as he watches his friends.

INT. THE BURROW-KITCHEN-MOMENTS LATER

The scene cuts to everyone sitting at the table finishing up their dinners.

HARRY
This has been wonderful, thank you all.

LUPIN
We had to do this, seeing you’re taking a year off from school from what I hear.

IT goes silent and everyone looks up at Lupin. Mrs. Weasley has a worried look on her face.

MRS. WEASLEY
What?

HARRY
It’s nothing Mrs. Weasley, really…let’s just finish the meal…

LUPIN
You can’t do this alone Harry…

RON
He won’t be alone. Hermione and I are going with him.

MRS. WEASLEY
Going with…what is this?

HARRY
Dumbledore left us an assignment to do and we can’t talk about it okay. Just…just trust me…

MRS. WEASLEY
You’re just kids!

HARRY
Actually we’re not anymore. Besides it’s on Dumbledore’s orders Mrs. Weasley. If he says we can then you have to trust him….

Mr. Weasley walks in with a bag on his arm.

MR. WEASLEY
Harry, Ron, Hermione…could I speak to you three alone for a second.

MRS. WEASLEY
Arthur…?

MR. WEASLEY
Don’t worry Molly, we’ll be back soon.

The three of them get up from the table and follow Mr. Weasley out of the room.

INT. THE BURROW-SITTING ROOM-MOMENTS LATER

Mr. Weasley walks into the sitting room and gestures the three of them to sit down as he opens the bag.

MR. WEASLEY
I have something for the three of you. Scrimgeour was supposed to do this himself but I guess he wasn’t feeling up to it.

HARRY
You won’t see me crying over that. What is it?

MR. WEASLEY
Dumbledore. He left all three of you something in his will.

RON
All of us?

MR. WEASLEY
(He pulls out a piece of parchment and begins to read aloud)
Where is it…ah here it is. To Ronald Bilius Weasley, I leave my Deluminator, in the hope that he will remember me when he uses it.

Mr. Weasley pulls out the Deluminator and hands it to Ron. Ron grabs it and examines it and he pushes the button and SWOOSH it sucked out the light from the nearest light.

RON
Cool…

He clicks it again and the light is restored.

RON
I wonder why he left me this…I was under the impression he never noticed me at all.

HERMIONE
Don’t be thick; Dumbledore was very fond of you. Who wouldn’t be?

They both look at each other and smile and Mr. Weasley clears his throat.

MR. WEASLEY
To Miss Hermione Jean Granger, I leave my copy of ‘The Tales of Beedle the Bard’ in the hope that she will find it entertaining and instructive.

He pulls out the book and hands it to Hermione who quickly flips it open and begins to read.

MR. WEASLEY
And finally, To Harry James Potter. I leave the Snitch he caught in his first Quidditch match at Hogwarts, as a reminder of the rewards of perseverance and skill.

He pulls out the snitch and looks at it.

MR. WEASLEY
Now this I must say is most peculiar.

HARRY
Why’s that sir.

MR. WEASLEY
Flesh memory.

RON
What?

HERMIONE
(Still reading)
Snitches carry enchantments by which it can identify the first human to lay hands upon it, in case of a disputed capture.
(She looks up and all of them are staring at her.)
What?

Mr. Weasley hands the Snitch over to Harry and drops it in his hand. Harry picks it up and stares at it but nothing happens.

MR. WEASLEY
There’s one last thing left for you Harry. It’s the sword of Godric Gryffindor.

All three of them stare up him in shock.

MR. WEASLEY
Unfortunately it wasn’t available; I’m not sure where it is exactly. Listen you three, I could help out on this mission…

RON
You need your job Dad.

MR. WEASLEY
Could you atleast tell me…

HARRY
No…I’m sorry Mr. Weasley but Dumbledore didn’t want us to tell anyone.

MR. WEASLEY
I understand
(He smiles weakly)
Well I’ll leave you three to your thoughts, I’ll grab me a piece of cake.

He bows and walks out of the room.

RON
Why do you think he left us all this?

HERMIONE
He couldn’t put in his will why he left us this; for fear that the Ministry would confiscate it, which they did. That still doesn’t explain…’The Tales of Beedle the Bard’ If these things are important enough to pass on right under the nose of the Ministry, you’d think he’d have let us know why…unless he thought it was obvious.

RON
He left Harry an old Snitch…what the hell was that about?

HARRY
Well we’ve yet to find out don’t you think.
(They both stare at him)
Don’t you remember how I caught the Snitch in my first game?

RON
That’s the one you nearly swallowed!

HARRY
Exactly!
(Harry pops the Snitch in his mouth and takes it out and writing appears on it and Harry reads it aloud as the camera zooms in on it.)
I open at the close. I wonder what’s that suppose to mean…

There’s a CRASH in the kitchen and all three of them look up and run quickly into the kitchen.

INT. THE BURROW-KITCHEN-MOMENTS LATER

Mrs. Weasley is holding her heart as a silver lynx patronus came running through the kitchen and lands on the table.

KINGSLEY
(Voice coming from the Patronus)
The Ministry has fallen. Scrimgeour is dead. They are coming.

Fear strikes the eyes of everyone in the room. They run to the window and see plenty of black apparitions appearing turning into Death Eaters approaching the Burrow.

MR. WEASLEY
Oh no…

LUPIN
Harry, Ron, Hermione…you must flee now. Get as far away as you can…don’t worry about us we’ll be fine.

Spells are thrown at the house as windows shatter. Hermione frantically grabs the boy’s hands as they run out of the back of the house. She closes her eyes and SWOOSH they are gone.

EXT. TOTTENHAM COURT ROAD-MOMENTS LATER

The scene cuts to a busy street and SWOOSH Harry, Ron, and Hermione appear in an alleyway.

RON
Where are we?

HERMIONE
No time to explain Ron….
(She pulls out her small handbag and hands Harry his Invisibility cloak)

HARRY
Thanks…but…

HERMIONE
Undetectable Extension Charm. Tricky, but I think I’ve done okay. I managed to fit everything we need in here. I packed everything this morning…you know just in case….

RON
You’re amazing, you know that?

HERMIONE
(Smiles)
Thank you, now Harry put the cloak on!

HARRY
But everyone at the Burrow….

RON
It’s not the time to worry about everyone else mate. It’s you they’re after and we’ll just put everyone in more danger by going back.

Harry hesitates but throws the cloak over him and Ron and Hermione walk out of the alleyway and into the busy Muggle streets.

RON
So why’d you bring us here?

HERMIONE
What else is there? We can’t book rooms at The Leaky Cauldron and Grimmauld Place is out if Snape can get in there…

RON
But Dad told me that Moody put in spells just in case he showed up to stop him getting in, I’m sure it’s better than in this Muggle town. We have to go somewhere to find out what’s going on.

HERMIONE
We know what’s going on Ron! Voldemort’s taken over the Ministry, what else do we need to know?

RON
I dunno it’s just…

SWOOSH out of nowhere two figures apparate in front of them in black smoke. They stop dead in their tracks as they dark figures dressed in black slowly approach them. They pull out their wands…

HERMIONE
Run!

Hermione pulls Ron and the Invisible Harry into another alleyway in the nick of time as spells fly past them. The Death Eaters begin to chase them down the Alleyway throwing spells and rubble is blasted all around them. One Death Eater points his wand at Ron which sends out ropes flying at him. The wands wrap around Ron and he falls to the ground.

HARRY
(From under the cloak)
STUPEFY!

The spell shoots out but barely misses the death eater.

DEATH EATER 1
Expulso!

A strong spell flies out and BOOM the wall beside Harry explodes and the Invisibility Cloak flies off him as he avoids the tumbling wall.

HERMIONE
Petrificus Totalus!

BAM the Death Eater is hit square in the chest and falls down frozen as Harry grabs his wand and points it at the other one who’s about to attack Hermione.

HARRY
STUPEFY!

BAM the spell knocks the Death Eater hard into the wall and he falls out unconscious. Hermione runs over to Ron and points her wand at him.

HERMIONE
Diffindo!

SWISH the ropes fly out and Harry helps Ron up and then goes to fetch his Invisibility Cloak.

HERMIONE
Are you alright?

RON
Fine…

HERMIONE
How did they find us! What are we going to do?

RON
What are we going to do with them? You don’t think we should kill them do you?

HARRY
We…we just need to wipe their memories. It’s better like that; it’ll throw them off the scent. If we killed them it’d be obvious we were here.

HERMIONE
(She points her wand at the Death Eater)
Obliviate!

The spell hits the Death Eater in the head his eyes become unfocused and dreamy.

HARRY
Brilliant Hermione!

She points her wand at the other and does the same.

HERMIONE
How do you think they found us Harry? You don’t think you’ve still got your Trace on you…

RON
He can’t have, he’s seventeen now. What we need is a safe place to hide.

HARRY
Grimmauld Place.

HERMIONE
But Harry Snape….

HARRY
If he shows up I’d like nothing better to do than repay him for what he did. Besides where else is there?

Hermione and Ron look at each other and the scene cuts to…

EXT. GRIMMAULD PLACE-MOMENTS LATER

The scene cuts to a shot of Number 12 Grimmauld Place and SWOOSH Harry, Ron, and Hermione appear in front of it. They slowly approach the door and stand there for a moment.

HARRY
Well…here goes nothing.

He takes a deep breath and opens the door.

INT. NUMBER 12 GRIMMAULD PLACE-ENTRANCE

The camera shifts to inside of the house as we see Harry walking through the door. All three walk into the house and Ron closes the door behind him. They walk slowly up the hall until a familiar voice calls out…

MOODY
Severus Snape?

HARRY
We’re not Snape!

There’s a SWOOSH and Harry, Ron, and Hermione grab their mouths in pain for a second and another SWOOSH and it passes. Harry turns to look at them.

RON
Tongue Tying Curse that was, Moody must’ve set it.

Harry turns around and continues to walk and a dusty figure starts to form in front of them. Hermione grabs Ron’s arm as a figure of Dumbledore appears pointing at them.

HARRY
No! It wasn’t us! We didn’t kill you….

SWOOSH the cloud of dust explodes leaving them coughing.

RON
Do you think there’s anyone here? Or any more enchantments.

HERMIONE
Only one way to find out.
(She pulls out her wand)
Homenum revelio!

Nothing happens.

HERMIONE
That was a spell to reveal human presence, and there’s nobody here except us!

RON
And old dusty
(gesturing to where Dumbledore’s figure just was)

HARRY
Let’s get upstairs…
(He pauses and grabs his scar in pain)

RON
What is it?

HARRY
Nothing…I…

RON
Is it him? Did you see something. Is he at my place.?

HARRY
No I just felt angry, he’s really angry…

HERMIONE
Harry you’re supposed to be closing your mind…

HARRY
I know okay!

He turns his back on them as he closes his eyes in pain. Lord Voldemorts voice is heard over the screen

VOLDEMORT
You call me back to tell me that Harry Potter has escaped again! Lord Voldemort is not sure he will forgive this time.

There is a scream heard as Ron and Hermione both stare at him with fear in their eyes. The screaming suddenly stops as Harry opens his eyes. And a bright light shines in front of them.. Harry pulls out his wand as a weasel patronus appears out of the light as Mr. Weasley’s voice calls out.

MR. WEASLEY
Family safe, do not reply, we are being watched.

SWOOSH the patronus is gone. Ron gives a sigh of relief.

RON
They’re okay.

HERMIONE
That’s great news. Harry…are you okay?

HARRY
Yes, I’m fine don’t worry about me.

HERMIONE
Harry don’t let him into your mind! Otherwise Voldemort can plant false images in your head, remember Sirius…

HARRY
It’s over now Hermione, can you just drop it. Please.

HERMIONE
Well I think we should freshen up anyways. Let’s go upstairs and clean up. And don’t worry Ron I washed your undergarments yesterday…

RON
(Embarrassed)
Hermione….

Hermione and Ron proceed to walk upstairs slowly. Harry scratches his scar as he turns around to the spot the Dumbledore appeared, sighs, and follows.


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  #97  
Old December 22nd, 2007, 6:14 am
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Re: Fan Scripts: Script your own version of Harry Potter

Wow, Phrozenone, that is a lot, but it's pretty good, most of it. I mean, some dialogue could use some tweaking, but it's certainly not horrible. You really pared down "The Dark Lord Ascending" and "The Dursleys Departing"; I'm in the process of doing the same for my script, but I am going for longer than yours (or at least the one you just posted). It's kinda weird, though, you and I had some of the exact same lines for those scenes. Interesting choice to have Arthur deliver the items in DD's will; I'd just keep Scrimgeour. but that's just me. Now onto a couple particular things of interest:


Quote:
Originally Posted by Phrozenone View Post
Ginny and Hermione both start crying
I must say, this I don't care for. One reason Harry likes (loves) Ginny so much is because she's more restrained emotionally. She doesn't cry easily, and I don't think Hedwig's death would be that occasion. Sorry if that came off harsh.


Quote:
Originally Posted by Phrozenone View Post
DUMBLEDORE
Perhaps…EXPELLIARMUS!

The spell knocks Grindewalds wand out of his hand and sends it flying in the air. The camera shows the wand flying into the air towards Dumbledore.

DUMBLEDORE
But you in all your ignorance forgot that the simplest of spell could do the trick…
(He smiles as he reaches up into the air and grabs Grindewalds wand)
On the other hand, this I just love. I never really felt like we needed to see the duel, but that moment and quote almost has me changing my mind. I can really hear Gambon saying that, too. You know what? It reminds me of that bit in PoA where first, in The Great Hall, Dumbledore gives his speech and does that thing where he waves his hand and puts out the flame, and then later, in his Patronus lesson, Harry does the same gesture, just as a little bit of business. Subtle, but I really liked that mirroring, you know?


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Last edited by IenjoyAcidPops; February 6th, 2008 at 5:50 pm.
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  #98  
Old December 22nd, 2007, 6:30 am
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Re: Fan Scripts: Script your own version of Harry Potter

Quote:
Originally Posted by IenjoyAcidPops View Post
Wow, Phrozenone, that is a lot, but it's pretty good, most of it. I mean, some dialogue could use some tweaking, but it's certainly not horrible. You really pared down "The Dark Lord Ascending" and "The Dursleys Departing"; I'm in the process of doing the same for my script, but I am going for longer than yours (or at least the one you just posted). Interesting choice to have Arthur deliver the items in DD's will; I'd just keep Scrimgeour. but that's just me. Now onto a couple particular things of interest:
Well if most of it is good then I've done my job

Honestly I wrote this maybe...3 weeks after DH was released so I had all these ideas going through my head. 'The Dark Lord Ascending' and 'The Dursleys Departing'...I guess I did kinda cut those down to their bare basics huh? lol (Just wait until you see the rest..it's MURDER!)Trust me there was ALOT more in it at first and I can't wait to see your version. I love seeing how many different ways people can interpret one story, it amazes me. I go off the wall and cut things and change things and add things to try to make it flow better and keep it a short running time...whereas others are more for detail and sticking close to canon and I LOVE it Hard core book fans would HATE me lol

Quote:
I must say, this I don't care for. One reason Harry likes (loves) Ginny so much is because she's more restrained emotionally. She doesn't cry easily, and I don't think Hedwig's death would be that occasion. Sorry if that came off harsh.
You are correct! Point well taken actually I never really thought about it. I just wanted tears and gosh darn it I picked the girls...how sexist of me...shame...maybe I'll have Shacklebolt cry?

Quote:
On the other hand, this I love so much I laughed out loud with happinness. I never really felt like we needed to see the duel, but that moment and quote almost has me changing my mind. I can really hear Gambon saying that, too. You know what? It reminds me of that bit in PoA where first, in The Great Hall, Dumbledore gives his speech and does that thing where he waves his hand and puts out the flame, and then later, in his Patronus lesson, Harry does the same gesture, just as a little bit of business. Subtle, but I really liked that mirroring, you know?
Oh you like it? Wow. Thanks! I was for sure that section would get me the most trouble from the fans. You're ABSOLUTELY right about the mirroring thing and that's EXACTLY what I was going for. I remember thinking "How EXACTLY can I make this wand business not that complicated and show the chain of it" and not knowing EXACTLY how the fight went I thought 'Hey if Dumbledore finishes off Grindewald the same way Draco got the wand from him and the way Harry wins it back in the end the connection would be so much stronger' and that's what I went for.

That line...remember what you said about about trying to right using the actors mannerisms and such? That's what I did there. I'm glad you liked most of it.

(Did you notice my little nod to Ron's book on how to please young witches? I'd forgotten I'd put that in there and just LOL'd as I was reading through it )



Last edited by Phrozenone; December 22nd, 2007 at 6:32 am.
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  #99  
Old December 22nd, 2007, 6:43 am
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Re: Fan Scripts: Script your own version of Harry Potter

Quote:
Originally Posted by Phrozenone View Post
I go off the wall and cut things and change things and add things to try to make it flow better and keep it a short running time...whereas others are more for detail and sticking close to canon and I LOVE it Hard core book fans would HATE me lol
Well, I'm not as hardcore as some, but I'm of the mindset that stuff should - nay, must - be rearranged, retooled, or cut in order to turn a great book into a great film. The key, of course, is zeroing in on what's really important to advancing the story and character as well as plot. You're right, it is interesting to see what others come up with themselves.


Quote:
Originally Posted by Phrozenone View Post
(Did you notice my little nod to Ron's book on how to please young witches? I'd forgotten I'd put that in there and just LOL'd as I was reading through it )
Yep, that was a fun bit.

I've gone back and changed my first post-WB logo shot for "Spinner's End", and I will likely do so several more times . The next thing I post will actually be another scene, but not from HBP or DH. Instead, I'm either going to try my hand at the Harry/Dumbledore conversation from GoF's end or OotP's end, because I thought those scenes were each way too short and thin.


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  #100  
Old December 22nd, 2007, 6:56 am
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Re: Fan Scripts: Script your own version of Harry Potter

Quote:
Originally Posted by IenjoyAcidPops View Post
I've gone back and changed my first post-WB logo shot for "Spinner's End", and I will likely do so several more times . The next thing I post will actually be another scene, but not from HBP or DH. Instead, I'm either going to try my hand at the Harry/Dumbledore conversation from GoF's end or OotP's end, because I thought those scenes were each way too short and thin.
That would be cool. I remember when I attempted to cut down Dumbledore's conversation at the end of OOTP a few years back...OMG it's TOUGH. Like he talks for a LONG time and to cut it down the way they did in the movie was actually impressive lol. I can't wait to see your view on it. Here's more of the DH script and you'll notice the last thing I post in it isn't in the book AT ALL!! I just had the idea while I was writing and I want 2 see what you think. Don't hold back...throw things at me if you must (I'm not done with it at all...like I said writers block..maybe you can help me out?)

BTW remember this is first draft LOL..there is ALOT I want to change now. Especially all the Kreacher stuff and I'm still not sure how I'll bring Dobby in yet but I just wanted you guys to have a glimpse into my thinking process

INT. NUMBER 12 GRIMMAULD PLACE-BEDROOM-MOMENTS LATER

The scene cuts to Harry sitting on one bed and Hermione and Ron sitting on another facing him in conversation.

HERMIONE
So what do you suppose we do now? We can’t stay here long; we still have a mission to do. Harry I know you wanted to go see your parents grave at Godrics Hollow, but shouldn’t we make the Horcruxes our priority? With the pieces of Voldemort’s soul out there we can’t possibly defeat him.

HARRY
If we knew where the Horcruxes were, I’d agree with you.

HERMIONE
Voldemort’s probably keeping a watch on Godric’s Hollow, I’m sure he expects you to go back and visit you parents.

RON
This R.A.B. person, you know, the one who stole the real locket? He said in his note he was going to destroy it right?

HARRY
He said he’s stolen it and intended to destroy it as soon as he could.

RON
Well, what if he did finish it off?

HERMIONE
Or she.

RON
Yes, or she
(She smiles at him and he blushes but continues talking.)
It’d be one less for us to do!

HERMIONE
We still have to trace the locket to see if it’s destroyed.

HARRY
The question is how do you destroy a locket. I’ve been wondering how Dumbledore destroyed the ring. Why didn’t I ask him? I never really asked him anything….

HERMIONE
Well after Dumbledore’s funeral I kinda….borrowed some of his books…

RON
What?

HERMIONE
Only because I was sure we’d need them!

RON
You’re amazing!

HERMIONE
(clears throat)
Yes, well, from what I’ve read what Harry did to Riddle’s diary was one of the few really foolproof ways of destroying a Horcrux.

RON
Stabbing it with a basilisk fang? Lucky we’ve got such a large supply of those…

HERMIONE
It has to be something so destructive that the Horcrux can’t repair itself. Basilisk venom can only be destroyed by one thing….

HARRY
Phoenix tears.

RON
Did you read anything on if you make a Horcrux, somehow putting the pieces of your soul back together?

HERMIONE
Yes actually, I can’t see Voldemort attempting it however. You have to feel remorse. You’ve got to really feel what you’ve done. The pain is said to be unbearable and can destroy you….

Harry gets up and walks across the room.

HERMIONE
Harry what’s wrong?

HARRY
Don’t you see Hermione? We’re unprepared. Who knows what lies ahead of us; I wish Dumbledore were still here.

HERMIONE
(Her eyes widens)
He still is here Harry.
(She jumps up.)
Don’t’ you remember? After a headmaster dies a trace of himself is left…

HARRY
In a portrait, yeah. One problem though, it’s in Dumbledore’s office. There’s no way we can get there.

HERMIONE
Maybe not…but I think I know someone who could help us.

INT. NUMBER 12 GRIMMAULD PLACE-SIRIUS ROOM-MOMENTS LATER

The scene cuts to Hermione leading Harry and Ron into Sirius’s room.

HARRY
Hermione what are we doing in Sirius’s room? How is this supposed to help?

HERMIONE
That!

She points at an empty portrait on the wall.

RON
Is there something we supposed to see?

HERMIONE
Don’t you see Ron. I just remembered. When Ron and I first got here 2 years ago Sirius took us on a tour. That portrait is of Phineas Nigellus Black.

HARRY
That’s great to know….

HERMIONE
He’s Sirius’s great great grandfather and old headmaster of Hogwarts. Don’t you see?

They both stare at her and wait for her to answer and she sigh’s in frustration.

HERMIONE
That’s the answer. As you know wizards can transport between their portraits. If we can somehow contact Phineas, maybe somehow we can contact Dumbledore through him.

HARRY
You think that’ll work?

HERMIONE
We might as well give it a try….
(She walks up to the portrait)
Phineas. Mr. Black are you there! Mr. Black we need to talk to you please!

Nothing happens and Hermione turns around with a look of disappointment.

HARRY
Maybe he’s busy with the new headmaster at Hogwarts whoever that is.

HERMIONE
Perhaps. We should keep a close watch on this just in case he appears.
(She starts to take the portrait down)
Who know’s how long we’ll be here. Might as well put it in my bag with everything else.

HARRY
I’m gonna go and see if I can find some food downstairs.

INT. NUMBER 12 GRIMMAULD PLACE-HALLWAY

Harry turns and walks out into the hallway. He slowly walks towards the stairs and looks at the sign on the door next to Sirius’s. He keeps walking but pauses and turns back around quickly and stares at the sign which reads ‘Do Not Enter Without the Express Permission of Regulus Arcturus Black’

HARRY
Regulus Arcturus Black. R.A.B.
(His eyes widen)
HERMIONE, RON…COME HERE QUICK!

They both run out of the room with their wands drawn quickly.

RON
What’s wrong mate. If it’s massive spiders again I want to eat before…

HARRY
Wrong? Nothing’s wrong. Look at this.

They both read and Hermione gasps.

HERMIONE
R.A.B. is Sirius’s brother. Do you think…?

HARRY
He was a Death Eater….

RON
Does that mean the locket is….

They all stare at each other for a moment until Harry walks forward and pulls out his wand.


INT. NUMBER 12 GRIMMAULD PLACE-REGULUS ROOM-MOMENTS LATER

There is a click and the door opens slowly by itself. Harry walks slowly into the room as the camera pans around showing everything around Regulus’s room. Harry walks up to a desk and picks up a photograph where there’s a picture of a young Sirius and Regulus looking up at Harry. The camera zooms in on Sirius smiling up and onto Harry who smiles slightly. He puts the picture around and turns to see Ron and Hermione tossing things aside.

RON
How do you expect to find a locket in this junk?

HERMIONE
Accio Horcrux!

Nothing happens.

HARRY
Nice try Hermione, I don’t think it’s in here.

HERMIONE
Harry but it has to be. Where else could it be?

HARRY
I don’t know…

RON
Well someone has to know.

HARRY
You’re right Ron. Who else could’ve possibly been around during this time?

Harry smiles strongly at them as the scene cuts to…

INT. NUMBER 12 GRIMMAULD PLACE-KITCHEN-MOMENTS LATER

The scene cuts to KREACHER carrying a large basket of scraps. Harry walks into the kitchen behind him.

HARRY
Kreacher!

Kreacher screams and drops the scraps on the ground. He clutches his heart.

KREACHER
Master? Back in my Mistress’s old house with the blood traitor Weasley and the Mudblood….

HARRY
I forbid you to call anyone ‘blood traitor’ or ‘Mudblood’. What are you doing here? Aren’t you supposed to be at the school?

KREACHER
My apologies Master, Kreacher will leave immediately…

HARRY
Actually I’m glad you’re here. I was just going to summon you anyway. I’ve got a question for you and I order you to answer it truthfully. Understand?

KREACHER
Yes, master.

Harry looks back and Ron and Hermione before asking.

HARRY
Did you know anything about a locket that Regulus Black stole from Lord Voldemort?

Kreacher’s eyes widen at the question and tears start to pour from his eyes.

KREACHER
Kreacher failed! Kreacher did wrong!

Kreacher turns and runs his head into the cabinet.

HARRY
I order you to stop!
(He kneels down eye level to him)
Please Kreacher, tell me what you know about the locket.

Kreacher looks up at Harry and sigh.

KREACHER
At the age of sixteen Master Regulus joined the Dark Lord. So proud, so proud, so happy to serve….

There is a FLASH and we see Regulus Black standing in the exact spot Harry is looking at Kreacher.

KREACHER
(V.O.)
Master Regulus came to Kreacher one day and said…that the Dark Lord required an elf and Master had volunteered Kreacher.

There is another FLASH and now we see Voldemort with Kreacher in the same boat in the CAVE from the last film riding across towards the island in the middle.

KREACHER
(V.O.)
The Dark Lord then took Kreacher to a cave and in the cave there was a great black lake which Kreacher took a boat across with the Dark Lord. There was a basin full of potion and…and…

There is a FLASH and now we see Kreacher rolling across the ground in pain and Voldemort laughing at the sight.

KREACHER
(V.O.)
He made Kreacher drink it, he made Kreacher drink all the potion. Kreacher saw terrible things, Kreacher’s insides burned. He dropped a locket into the empty basin…he filled it with more potion. And then the Dark Lord sailed away, leaving Kreacher on the island. Kreacher needed water, he drank from the black lake…and hands, dead hands, came out of the water and dragged Kreacher under the surface….

There’s a FLASH and we’re back at present time with Kreacher crying heavily as Harry is still kneeled in front of him.

HARRY
How did you get away?

KREACHER
Master Regulus told Kreacher to come back.

HARRY
I know, but how did you escape the Inferi?

KREACHER
Master Regulus told Kreacher to come back.

HARRY
I know, but….

RON
It’s obvious isn’t it Harry, he Disappaated.

HARRY
But you can’t Apparate in and out of that cave, otherwise Dumbledore…

RON
Elf magic isn’t’ like wizards magic, is it? I mean they can Apparate and Disapparate in and out of Hogwarts when we can’t. He’s proof of that right now.

KREACHER
The house elf’s highest law is his Master’s bidding.

HARRY
So then what happened?

There is a FLASH and once again we see Regulus kneeling down in front of Kreacher.

KREACHER
(V.O.)
Master was very worried, worried indeed. One night Master came to Kreacher and asked Kreacher to take him to the cave where Kreacher had gone with the Dark Lord.

FLASH now Kreacher and Regulus are standing on the island in front of the basin.

KREACHER
(V.O.)
Master Regulus took from his pocket a locket like the one the Dark Lord had and he told Kreacher to take it and, when the basic was empty, to switch the locket and he ordered Kreacher to leave without him and to destroy the first locket.

There is a shot of Kreacher crying as the Inferi slowly pulls Regulus under the water. Regulus looks up and smiles at Kreacher before he’s taken under.

KREACHER
(V.O.)
Master Regulus was dragged beneath the water…and….

FLASH they’re back in common time and Hermione is in tears. Ron goes to comfort her and Harry sits down beside Kreature and stares ahead as the elf continues to cry.

HARRY
So you brought the locket here and tried to destroy it?

KREACHER
Nothing Kreacher did made any mark upon it. He failed…failed…

HARRY
Kreacher do you still have the locket?

Kreacher looks up at Harry and nods. He pulls the locket out of his pocket and shows it to Harry.

HARRY
May I have it please?

KREACHER
If Master wishes than it is so

He starts to cry even harder as he hands the locket to Harry. Harry looks at it for a second and then takes the fake locket out of his pocket.

HARRY
Kreacher, I’d like you to have this. This belonged to Regulus and I’m sure he’d want you to have it as a token of gratitude for what you…

KREACHER
(He looks up with Harry with tears forming in his eyes as he reaches out and grabs the locket)
Thank you master…thank you…

Kreacher smiles at Harry and Harry smiles back as Kreature holds the locket to his heart and walks away. Harry stares at the locket and we hear a soft beating like a heart. He tries to open it with it doesn’t bulge. He hands it to Ron who looks at aswell.

HARRY
I reckon we’re going to have to work out how to open this thing before we can destroy it.

RON
There’s definitely dark magic in this thing, it somehow makes me feel a little….angry….

He passes it to Hermione.

HERMIONE
What are we going to do with it?

HARRY
Keep it safe till we work out how to destroy it.

She hands it back to Harry who stares at it for a moment as the camera zooms in on it as the scene fades.

INT. GRIMMAULD PLACE-A FEW DAYS LATER-BEDROOM

Harry is putting on his jacket when Hermione comes in.

HERMIONE
Breakfast is ready Harry. Who knew Kreacher was such an excellent cook!

HARRY
He’s sure come around hasn’t he.

HERMIONE
You know what today is don’t you Harry? It’s the first day of school…and we’re not there. Weird huh?

HARRY
Yeah…I wonder what they’re doing…

Harry looks out the window and the camera passes by him quickly into a sea of clouds. The clouds part way and in the distance we see HOGWARTS.

INT. HOGWARTS-THE GREAT HALL-NIGHT
The scene cuts to a shot of Ginny sitting at the Gryffindor table in the Great Hall and NEVILLE LONGBOTTOM sits down next to her.

NEVILLE
Hey Ginny.

GINNY
Neville hey, how was your summer.

NEVILLE
Don’t ask.
(He leans in to whisper)
Where’s Harry, Ron, and Hermione?

GINNY
I’m not sure…

The hall goes quiet as the camera slowly pans up and shows standing in front of the podium Snape looking out over the hall.

SNAPE
I’d like to introduce the new headmaster of Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. Severus Snape.

There are gasps heard throughout the hall and there’s a shot of the Slytherians looks proud. The camera pans down the teacher table all of them looking nervous and MCGONAGALL looks furious.

SNAPE
I’d like to introduce a few new teachers to you all. Alecto Carrow will take over for Muggle Studies and Amycus Carrow will be filling the position of Defense Against the Dark Arts.

Neville leans in to Ginny as he says this.

NEVILLE
Aren’t both of them Death Eaters.

GINNY
Looks like You Know Who has his hand in Hogwarts as well.

SNAPE
I welcome the opportunity to uphold our finest Wizarding traditions and values. Rule breaking however, will result in harsh punishments. A new day and age is here and those who object will be dealt with.

He gives a half smile as the scene cuts to the students filing out of the Great Hall to their respected Dorms. Ginny however walks out of the front doors and looks up at the sky. Neville walks up behind her.

NEVILLE
Ginny are you alright?

GINNY
Yeah…I’m just wondering if they’re okay. I hope Ron and Hermione are all right.

NEVILLE
They’re strong Ginny, I’m sure wherever they are they’re fine.

He pats her on her back and turns around to walk in. Ginny continues to look up.

GINNY
(Whispers)
Harry…

INT. GRIMMAULD PLACE-ROOM-MORNING

The scene fades to a faded Ginny in the exact window that Harry is looking out of. He sighs and we notice that there are 5 Death Eaters standing out side of the house looking rather confused. Hermione walks up behind him.

HERMIONE
Apparently Snape hasn’t given them our whereabouts. They can’t see Number 12 because the secret keeper hasn’t told them. There’s nothing to worry about…

HARRY
I know..I just…I was thinking about Ginny. I hope she’s all right.

HERMIONE
She’s fine Harry…

Harry looks behind Hermione and sees Kreachur happily humming a tune as he goes down the hall.

HARRY
He sure is happy…

Harry turns around and looks out the window but all the Death Eaters are gone.

HARRY
That’s strange…where did they all go.

THUD. Harry and Hermione both turn around quickly as they hear noise coming from downstairs.

HERMIONE
What was that?

HARRY
Maybe Kreachure tripped again…

HERMIONE
(Pulls out her wand)
Homenum revelio!

There is a loud SWOOSH.

HERMIONE
(whispers)
Harry…someone else is here…

Harry pulls out his wand and they both walk slowly towards the stairwell as they hear faintly the defenses in the house going off. They look down the staircase and looking up at them holding a large BAG is Snape.

SNAPE
Potter!

HARRY
Hermione get Ron!

Harry blasts a spell at Snape which he deflects with ease. Hermione runs upstairs to fetch Ron as Harry continues to throw spells at Snape.

SNAPE
No Potter!

HARRY
MURDERER!

A green flash flies out of Harry’s wand but Snape avoids it and BAM a hole is knocked in the wall. Harry tries to cast another spell but it flies all across the room exploding the jars of heads in the hallway. He panicks and runs upstairs behind Hermione who comes running out of the bedroom with her bag and Ron at her hand.

RON
What’s going on?

Snape runs upstairs and Ron gasps as Hermione grabs Harry’s arm closes her eyes and SWOOSH they disappear. Snape runs to where they are and stops. He turns around as the scene fades to…

EXT. DARK WOODS-MOMENTS LATER

The scene fades to a shot of the WOODS with the sun setting in the distance. SWOOSH Harry, Ron, and Hermione appear falling on the ground. Harry is the first to stand up and dust himself off. He then angrily punches the tree in front of him.

HERMIONE
Harry….

HARRY
I could’ve killed him! I can’t believe I missed. My wand wasn’t working properly.

HERMIONE
What do you mean?

HARRY
I mean what I said Hermione! The spells I intended to throw….it didn’t work….and I don’t know….

Hermione grabs the hand Harry just punched the tree with and it’s bloody.

HERMIONE
I think I have something for this in my bag.

She walks over and starts rummaging through the bag.

RON
Guess those protections didn’t work to well. Now what are we going to do?

HERMIONE
(Walking over to Harry and pouring a liquid on his hand)
We can set up camp here for now. I’ll put some protective enchantments up around this place so we’re not detected. Ron could you grab the tent in the bag?

RON
You packed a tent? Do you think of everything?

She smiles and runs off as the scene cuts to a shot of the TENT standing in the middle of the woods. Ron and Harry putting the finishing touches on it when Hermione walks back up to them.

HERMIONE
That’s as much as I can do. At the very least, we should know they’re coming. I can’t guarantee it will keep out Vol…

RON
Don’t say his name!

HERMIONE
Honestly Ronald, Fear of a name….

RON
I know, it’s just….I feel like it’s a jinx or something. Can’t we call him You-Know-Who…please?

HERMIONE
Well regardless we should take turns keeping watch outside of the tent. We’ll also need to think about some food as well. I found some mushrooms while I was out putting up the protections.

RON
(Grumpily)
Great…

He turns and walks into the tent as Hermione walks over to Harry, who is now sitting on the ground outside the tent, and sits down beside him.

HERMIONE
Harry what’s wrong?

HARRY
I think I’m losing it Hermione. It’s like when I saw Snape I couldn’t think straight…I…I….

Hermione notices the locket hanging around Harry’s neck and realizes what happened.

HERMIONE
Of course…Harry hand me the Horcrux. The locket Harry give it to me!

Harry takes it from around his neck and hands it to Hermione and his expression immediately changes.

HERMIONE
Better?

HARRY
Yeah, loads better.

HERMIONE
I think it’s better if we take turns wearing it. It obviously affects anyone who wears it. It’s too much of a burden for someone to carry alone anyways.

HARRY
Thanks Hermione

He looks at her and smiles and she smiles back at him and the camera pans up at Ron looking at them from inside the tent. He turns to walk away.

INT. THE TENT-WOODS-NIGHT

The scene cuts to Ron sleeping in the tent and Harry is sitting up looking at the Mauraders map.

HARRY
I hope you’re okay Ginny….

The camera then zooms over Harry’s shoulder and close to the map and the scene switches to another shot of Hogwarts. The scene then cuts to

INT. HOGWARTS-DEFENSE AGAINST THE DARK ARTS CLASS-DAY

One of the Death Eaters Amycus Carrow is sitting in front of the class and there’s a student laying on the floor crying. Standing beside him is Goyle with his wand held out.

AMYCUS
This is what happens to bad children!
(Laughs)
So much like your father you are. Watch class, this is what happens when you step out of line. Mr. Goyle if you please!

GOYLE
Crucio!!!

The student on the floor screams in pain. The camera pans to Neville with anger in his eyes as he jumps up.

NEVILLE
STOP IT!

Goyle and the Amycus both look up.

AMYCUS
Problem Mr. Longbottom? You don’t want me to send you to detention do you?
(Laughs)
You’re a Pure Blood Longbottom. Filthy half breeds like this shouldn’t be in this school and you know it!

NEVILLE
They have every right!

AMYCUS
Watch your tongue! Now Longbottom I think it’s best if you participate in today’s lesson. You know what to do. Practice the Crucatus curse on this Mudblood

NEVILLE
NO! I won’t do it!

AMYCUS
(He walks slowly up to Neville)
Pity…

Amycus pulls out a knife and SWOOSH slashes it across Neville’s cheek. Neville falls to the ground in pain as Amycus walks back in front of the class.

AMYCUS
Anyone else has anything to say?

INT. HOGWARTS-COURTYARD-EVENING

The scene cuts to Neville sitting in the Courtyard with a bandage on his cheek and LUNA and Ginny sitting beside him.

LUNA
That was a brave thing you did Neville. Standing up to him like that.

GINNY
This is ridiculous.
(She looks at a kid chained to a statue in the courtyard)
That’s horrible…This isn’t Hogwarts anymore.

LUNA
But we’re still here, that means Dumbledore’s Army lives on right?

NEVILLE
Exactly. As long as I can I won’t let harm come to anyone innocent at this school.

He stands up, pulls out his wand to free the child until SMACK he’s hit with a spell from his left. Ginny and Luna rush to his side and standing there is Alecto Carrow.

ALECTO
I hope you weren’t thinking about freeing that boy Longbottom?

GINNY
You monster!

ALECTO
Watch you’re tongue Weasley before it’s cut out. Get out of here all three of you! Filthy Mudbloods deserve to be punished.

LUNA
Funny…I wonder how much Muggle blood you have running through your veins.

SMACK Luna is slapped by Alecto with brute force and she looks up with blood running down her nose.

ALECTO
You will pay for that Lovegood!

She marches away angrily and blasts a student as she walks by.

NEVILLE
I wish Harry was here. I wish I knew what they were up to and that we could somehow help.

GINNY
Maybe we can….

INT. HEADMASTERS OFFICE-HOGWARTS-NIGHT

The scene cuts to the SPINNING GARGOYLE. Ginny, Neville, and Luna walk out and into Snape’s office.

NEVILLE
You sure this will help?

GINNY
Dad told me that Harry was left Gryffindor’s Sword, it’s rightfully Harry’s.

LUNA
I hope Seamus’s distraction keeps Snape long enough.

NEVILLE
Where do you think it is.

Ginny looks around and notices the Sword sitting in a mirror case on the wall.

GINNY
There
(She pulls out her wand)
ACCIO GRYFFINDOR SWORD

SMASH the glass of the case shatters everywhere as the sword comes flying at them. Ginny quicky grabs it by the handle and looks at it.

GINNY
Great…lets go….

They turn around and freeze because standing in front of them is Snape holding on to SEAMUS.

SNAPE
And what exactly do you think you’re doing?

The three of them back away as the camera pans away out of the window and through the clouds. SWOOSH there is a wide shot of the forest and it is now Fall. Leaves are falling everywhere as the camera zooms in on the tent.



Last edited by Phrozenone; December 22nd, 2007 at 7:01 am.
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