Leaving the Nest

[DarkDaysAhead]

I'm a college student from PA getting ready to transfer to a different school in NY. I leave for Brockport tomorrow and am quite nervous and rather sad.

Did anyone else go away for school? Or is anyone else getting ready to?

[LBuccalo]

I didn't go away for school , but when I was married I moved all the way across the country. It was so scary, I am so close to my family. It was hard at first but really, I enjoyed it. I made alot of really cool friends and although I wasn't always in the loop, my family always filled me in. It was nice being out on my own, sometimes it was bittersweet, but I did enjoy it. I called home everyday and made everyone promise to send me lots of pictures.

You will do so well. Its natural to be nervous and scared but it will be so much fun! Good luck!

[Lisa_Turpin]

Originally Posted by DarkDaysAhead

I'm a college student from PA getting ready to transfer to a different school in NY. I leave for Brockport tomorrow and am quite nervous and rather sad.

Did anyone else go away for school? Or is anyone else getting ready to?

I take it you were a commuter student? If so, living on a college campus is one of the best experiences you can have, especially dorm life. When I left for my freshman year, I cried because I was scared of leaving my parents, even though I knew and felt like I was ready. It's a very natural reaction to be scared at a time like this because it is such a large change, but you will love every minute of it.

There will definitely be an adjustment period, but I found attending events and getting to know the people around me helped me through it. You will almost definitely have a good time.

I wish you the best of luck!

[GenevieveS]

I went away for college.

I left a small college town, home to a big state school with a not great academic reputation, and went a 9 hour drive to a very good private university.

I had lived in that town my whole life and been one of the "best of the best" in my high school. No one I knew went to the same state, much less the same school, for college.

I was terrified. I was scared of not really being as smart as everyone thought I was. I was scared of being incapable of making friends. I was scared of living with a roommate, scared of setting my own hours to sleep, study and eat, scared of getting lost.

Once I got there? I was still terrified...for about a week.

Then, it all fell in to place. All the freshmen needed friends. No one knew where their classes were. Some of us had to learn how to study for the first time in our lives. There were people who were smarter than I was. There were people who weren't. It didn't matter. And it was exhilarating and scary at the same time.

It's a big change. And it's OK to be scared...but you'll be fine. You're stretching your wings. Enjoy it.

[sllagnire]

I'm away for college, but not too far away. I'm only about an hour and fifteen minutes away. I love being away at college (but I've never had issues with being away from home). I think that you really just need to find things to take your mind about it if you are home sick. Making friends is always a good way to get your mind off things as well. I really love being on a college campus. I think there is so much that it can offer you. Dorms are the best! (At least in my opinion. I miss them so much.)

[DarkDaysAhead]

Originally Posted by Lisa_Turpin

I take it you were a commuter student?

No, actually, I lived on campus but I always had the option of going home on the weekends. This semester, though, I obviously can't. I only went home for Spring Break and that was it.

[DancingMaenid]

I'm currently a commuter student. I'm planning on transfering for my junior year (I'm a freshman now) and I'm looking forward to being on my own (I'll probably be a couple hours away from home when I transfer).

[houseelf25]

I'm going to be moving 6 hours away from home this fall (I'm going to be a freshman) and it's kind of a scary thought, but I think I've gotten used to it. I can come up for long weekends if I want, and one of my friends is going to a school an hour away. I've never been away from my parents for more than a month, so we'll see how this whole moving thing goes...but overall I'm excited!

[Sheree]

Not to be a total downer, but leaving home was very hard for me.
I thought I'd be okay, because as a kid, I went to camp and did loads of things away from home that are meant to help prepare you, in part, for leaving the nest.
But it didn't work that way for me.
Turns out I'm a real homebody. Not a day goes by that I don't miss my mom, and my dogs, and my boyfriend, and his mom, and I hate it here. Yes, I have friends here - my BEST friends are here, but nothing makes this place feel like home to me.
Had I picked a town or a university more suited to my academic and social needs (this place was picked because my sister graduated from here and because it's affordable compared to some of the other schools I was interested in), I probably would have been better off.

[Hysteria]

I can't wait to move out, if only I had the money I love my family but I'd love to be completely free.

[Slytherngoddess]

It's going to be nearly impossible for me to leave the nest. My mom has been getting all uptight about what colleges I want to apply to. Every frickin school to her is far. So I don't even know what the heck I'm even supposed to do. I'm not planning on leaving at 18. I'd rather wait until I am financially stable, myself.

[HMN]

Originally Posted by Slytherngoddess

It's going to be nearly impossible for me to leave the nest. My mom has been getting all uptight about what colleges I want to apply to. Every frickin school to her is far. So I don't even know what the heck I'm even supposed to do. I'm not planning on leaving at 18. I'd rather wait until I am financially stable, myself.

Apply to any and all colleges away from your hometown and go. You'll grow into the adult you're meant to be when you have the room to. College is a wonderful experience that should not be missed.

There were 2 sisters in my high school who were at the top of the class. They could have gone to Harvard or Yale or any other Ivy, but instead stayed local because their mother didn't want to let them go. I just think of the knowledge they could have gained, the opportunities missed, and the jobs they could have gotten if they went to the schools they should have gone to instead of the one their mother chose for them.

It is your future we're talking about. Your mother can text, call, email you wherever you go. Don't let distance hold you back.

Originally Posted by GenevieveS

Once I got there? I was still terrified...for about a week.

Then, it all fell in to place. All the freshmen needed friends. No one knew where their classes were. Some of us had to learn how to study for the first time in our lives. There were people who were smarter than I was. There were people who weren't. It didn't matter. And it was exhilarating and scary at the same time.

Totally true!!!

I remember I ate dinner in my dorm room the first night of college because I was too shy to ask if anyone was going to the dining hall, and my roommate was out with her parents. The second night I wizened up and sat in the lounge until I saw a group of people near the elevator talking about food - I got up the nerve to ask them if I could tag along - which of course they said yes to and I had a great time. I think the 3rd night I got lost after a big freshman event and when asking other freshman directions they told me they were going to a party, and did I want to come? Of course I did and again had a great time.

By the end of the first week I had friends, I had been to a party, I had more homework than I could ever imagine, and I found people to dine with on a regular basis. Things fell into place pretty quickly even though I had to step out of my comfort zone to let it happen. But that is what going away to school is all about. Growing!

[griffiegrrl]

I'm moving away next summer I'm starting to get a little freaked about it, actually. I'm moving in with my sister and we're getting a place together while I go to college. I'm glad I'm at least living with a family member, but I'm still scared about this big leap for me.

My sister isn't going to control my life, either. She's going to let me be the adult that I am, instead of coddling me. At least that's what she says, I'm sure I'm going to have to remind her of this quite a few times after I move in with her.

[Slytherngoddess]

Originally Posted by HMN

Apply to any and all colleges away from your hometown and go. You'll grow into the adult you're meant to be when you have the room to. College is a wonderful experience that should not be missed.

There were 2 sisters in my high school who were at the top of the class. They could have gone to Harvard or Yale or any other Ivy, but instead stayed local because their mother didn't want to let them go. I just think of the knowledge they could have gained, the opportunities missed, and the jobs they could have gotten if they went to the schools they should have gone to instead of the one their mother chose for them.

It is your future we're talking about. Your mother can text, call, email you wherever you go. Don't let distance hold you back.

You're absolutely right. But my mom doesn't seem to be focusing on education as an issue, but instead of fellow peers. She's scared that something bad would happen if I go to college far away. I mean - it's just odd... due to the fact that I invite her and my dad and my brother to move with me anyway.

[HMN]

Originally Posted by Slytherngoddess

You're absolutely right. But my mom doesn't seem to be focusing on education as an issue, but instead of fellow peers. She's scared that something bad would happen if I go to college far away. I mean - it's just odd... due to the fact that I invite her and my dad and my brother to move with me anyway.

Well, there are going to be college aged kids wherever you decide to go! She can't avoid that.

See if she'll go visiting campuses with you. It might help her if she can see what is out there.

[MaWeasley]

If I may add a mother's perspective, it is really hard to see one's children grow up and leave home for college or something else. Most parents want their children to be safe and happy and it's so easy to worry about them when they are away. We spend so many years and so much energy trying to keep our children protected from physical and emotional harm, it can be scary to turn them over to the whims of the universe. And then too, if being a parent has been one's primary role and focus, there is the whole need to recast oneself in a new role. Self discovery can be as daunting in middle age as it is in adolescence.

Having said all that, however, I think it is crucial that young people experience life. It is not good parenting to restrict our children's choices and dreams to meet our own needs. We have to let our children be adults in their own rights. That includes letting them consider colleges based on their interests, not our fears.

I have found that family dynamics change as children leave home, but the legacy of the family and the bonds of love continue. Good luck to everyone looking at colleges or starting one--it's a stressful but exciting time.

[CintssCha]

I want to go to another country I dont know, different cultures from mine interest me a lot
But I am also afraid. When I started collegue, I didnt have friends!!! -not until a year later or so . Besides, I dont know how to cook really well XD, and I am afraid I would feel alone without my family and my dog, haha. So perhaps I am not really prepared ?

[Hairband]

This August I'm leaving for a college 4 hours away. I can always get the bus back, though. My program is 11 months, so I won't be home for the summer. After the program is over, I'm going right into university in the same city.

[ProtegoTotalum]

Next month I'm going to a school that's only about an hour away...but even so, I'm completely freaked out.

Excited? You bet. I can't stand my hometown--you know what we do for fun on a Saturday night? Either go to Wal-Mart [yeah] or go to Park Ave--literally, just sit on the side of this street and chill. I'm also so excited about getting away from my parents...sounds bad, yes, but I've been looking forward to being on my own for...well, nearly my whole life.

But then I think on it a little. In just about fifty days, I'm going to be in COLLEGE. I'm not going to be sleeping in my own bed at night, in my own room--I'm going to have a roomate, whom I may well despise. I'm not the kind of person who can live with someone else in such close quarters. I need my own space. A lot. So I'm worried that I'll be miserable with that...and I'll have to plan my own meals, buy my own food, get my own money [and how THAT'S happening, I have no idea]. I don't have a car nor even my license at this point, and the chances of having either of these by the end of August aren't the best.

And my best friend is going to be an hour or two away. In a different school. That, I think, is what's going to kill me.

Again...I'm excited. But...at the same time...I'm wondering if I can do this.

[dancing_snape]

When I first went to college, I moved about 13 hours away from home. I liked the independence. But, I got incredibly lonely and depressed since I apparently fail at making friends. I had a horrible year and it really screwed up my education because I was so miserable. Within a year I moved back home.

Then, when I was 20 I tried living away from home again. This time, I went to the opposite side of the country (like a 3 days drive away). Since I was living with someone, I had a great time. But, I was still homesick since I hated the city. So, I moved back home within a year.

Next year, I'm going to attempt leaving the nest for the 3rd time. But, only a few hours away, with a sibling, and this time it wouldn't be impossible to drive back home just to visit. Three times a charm, right?