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Ask Snape - The Game



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  #881  
Old November 4th, 2011, 4:53 am
SadiraSnape  Female.gif SadiraSnape is offline
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Re: Ask Snape - The Game

Messrs. Humble and Pye:

I would like to arrange an appointment next week to discuss an issue which I am quite weary of dealing with.

I will be available any afternoon after 4 pm. Please advise of the time and date at your earliest convenience.

S Snape
Potions Master
Hogwarts School for Wizardry and Witchcraft

----------------

Grimmy --

Don't worry, those are colleagues of mine who are investigating an oddity they've detected at Spinner's End. Please provide them with every courtesy and access to the house and the back garden. You may request they move the telephone booth to the back garden as well.

Their findings may involve the removal of all glitter at the End. If that turns out to be the case, please advise the other Irregulars that wailing, moaning, and gnashing of teeth will not be tolerated.

As for the mechanical owls, I have a rather stout shillelagh in the front coat closet. Please feel free to smash the owls as they arrive. Be sure to clean up the remains.

Sir

----------------

Severus --

Treacle has destroyed all the sparkle balls you sent her! And the feather toy is looking quite bedraggled! What am I to do?

Albus


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  #882  
Old November 4th, 2011, 5:10 am
GrimeldaDursley  Female.gif GrimeldaDursley is offline
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Re: Ask Snape - The Game

Albus,

Really now. A simple Reparo will suffice until you can purchase more. A friend of mine made Snarks some toys that are quite durable and Snarks really enjoys them. Perhaps she'll make Treacle a few.

Severus
++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++ +++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

Sir,

I thought you explained to me that the glitter and space owls never happened. Anyway, I tried to smash one, and it didn't smash! It just keeps shouting "Just call me Jimbo!". It's quite annoying. Your friends are really quite nice, and actually, well quite handsome. Dr. What or whoever says he will dispose of the space owls for us. Now if he can only dispose of Jimbo, too, who just showed up. He kind of looks like you, Sir, that is if you weighed 300 lbs. He has eaten all of our food, and Sir, I hate to tell you, but he got into the wine cellar and drank all your nice elf-made wine. That guy from Torchwill, or wood or whatever says he will get him out of here for us.

No glitter was found here, but suddenly Dr. What yelled "The Skeeter is behind this!" and all three of them took off in that phonebooth thingy.

That's all for now, I think I have a headache.

Grimmy


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  #883  
Old November 6th, 2011, 4:14 am
SadiraSnape  Female.gif SadiraSnape is offline
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Re: Ask Snape - The Game

Dear Irregulars:

The problems we've been experiencing at the End and Hogwarts should resolve themselves after I meet with Mr Humble next week. I foresee litigation against The Daily Prophet and one Rita Skeeter. The Doctor's statement before his sudden departure tells me I'm on the correct trail.

As for "Jimbo", suffice to say he will be reimbursing me for the wine before he is spirited off to his proper place, where I have no doubts Capt Jack will make sure he is firmly moored.

Please be sure to clear out before Saturday night -- I will be bringing a guest for pre-dinner apéritifs.

Sir

---------

Severus--

I have excellent news for you -- The Viper has dropped out! Now I can reset your odds, so that they are much more favorable to you. How does 7:2 sound?

Filius


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  #884  
Old November 6th, 2011, 4:32 am
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Re: Ask Snape - The Game

Be on the lookout for one Rita Skeeter--last seen approaching Spinner's End.
Rita Skeeter, correspondent for the Daily Prophet is missing. She is of medium height, has blond ringlets, bright multi-colored glasses, emerald green robes, blood-red nails and a green Quik-Quote Quill. She was on her way to investigate the disturbances in the Time-warp Continuum At Spnner's End, home to one of Hogwarts famous teachers, one Professor S. Snape. She was to have reported to her boss, Cornelius Fudge, around 7 p.m., but Mr. Fudge has not seen or heard from her. He is notifying the Aurors to be on the look out for Ms Skeeter. Stay tune for further developments.


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  #885  
Old November 6th, 2011, 5:04 am
GrimeldaDursley  Female.gif GrimeldaDursley is offline
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Re: Ask Snape - The Game

Dear Sir,

This just awful, Miss Skeeter going missing, isn't it? Such a pity. I had an owl from Hermione today, describing to the tee Miss Skeeter's Animagus form. I have her at my house in a nice jar with an anti transfiguration and anti escape charm on it.[not Hermione, Miss Skeeter!] She has plenty of leaves to eat and air in there. Hermione says she is a dung beetle, so I put a nice, big piece of it in there for her too. I will let her free tomorrow morning, after I have Obliviated her, of course!

I left you a gift, Sir. In the pantry you will find two bottles of Elf-made wine. This is in appreciation for speaking to my boss at The Magical Menagerie last week. I hope you like the wine, the man at the shop says it's one of his best.

Grimmy

PS- I sent Dumbledore some cat toys for Treacle, like the ones I made for Snarks.

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++ +++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
Professor Severus Snape
Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry


Professor Snape,

As we wizarding folk approach our Golden Years, we begin to feel we deserve certain priveleges. Which is what I am offering you today. Many Senior Witches and Wizards are joining in our exclusive group which is called Senior Wizarding Appreciation Group, or S.W.A.G., as we fondly like to call it. For a nominal yearly membership fee, Senior Wizards and Witches can enjoy the following benefits:

Substantial discounts at select restaurants and shops
Holiday Cruises at at discount rate
Discounts on orthopedic and medicinal supplies such as ear trumpets, walking canes, etc.

And many more exciting discounts and offers each month!

So take the time, if you will, and fill out and return the enclosed questionaire as soon as possible so you can receive your membership card and won't miss out!

Spartacus Withershanks
President- S.W.A.G.


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Last edited by GrimeldaDursley; November 6th, 2011 at 5:07 am.
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  #886  
Old November 6th, 2011, 10:34 pm
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Re: Ask Snape - The Game

the next day, Rita Skeeter woke up with a nasty headache. "Where am I?" she thought, "better yet, who am I?"
"Will Rita Skeeter find out who she is and where she is?"
stay tuned.

************************************************** *****************
Severus, how strong was that memory charm that was placed on Miss Skeeter? I just got an owl that she was seen running down the street from Malfoy Manor; she was running like she had seen a hobgoblin or something. We need to be careful so no one discovers that there is a wizarding world. We wouldn't want the Statute of Secrecy broken.
Albus


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  #887  
Old November 6th, 2011, 11:54 pm
SadiraSnape  Female.gif SadiraSnape is offline
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Re: Ask Snape - The Game

Mr Withershanks:

I can only speculate you were sent my name and address in an ill-advised attempt at humour perpetrated by one of my students. As I am only 51, I am not in any way entering my "golden years", given that wizards and witches live so much longer than Muggles.

I have taken the liberty of forwarding your kind offer to Albus Dumbledore and cc'ing it to Minerva McGonagall. I'm sure they will be more interested in your inducements than I, and most assuredly in the age group you are targeting.

I strongly recommend you remove my name from your mailing list, or there could be rather undesirable consequences for you.

S Snape

----------------

Albus:

Really? After that series of books and those horrid movies that were subsequently spawned, you honestly believe the Wizarding World is much of a secret any longer? If anything, we're now hiding out in the open.

Do not trouble yourself about Ms Skeeter. I have her wand, and I happen to know for a fact she is incapable of wandless magic; in fact, she doesn't even remember she is a witch (of extremely limited capability) at all. I'm sure she will soon find herself residing in a nice Muggle mental facility, or perhaps she will discover a hitherto unknown talent in divination, and will soon be setting herself up as fortune teller.

Did you get the toys one of the Irregulars sent to you? They are good quality and Snarks has been unable to destroy them.

Severus

---------------

Severus:

I must insist you round up Ms Skeeter and bring her to St Mungo's at your earliest convenience. We cannot have her roaming loose in Muggle London as she is. At last report, she had climbed a lamppost and was creating quite a spectacle, declaiming at the top of her lungs that she was the Queen Of Scarabs and would anyone like her to beetle them.

We will put her on the locked ward along with Mr Lockhart and Miss Umbridge. They will make a fine Trio of their own.

Sincerely,

Deirdre Fasterslow
Head Mediwitch
St Mungo's


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  #888  
Old November 7th, 2011, 3:48 am
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Re: Ask Snape - The Game

Severus,
I spotted Rita Skeeter up on a lampost. I have contacted St. Mungo's to pick her up. She won't go anywhere, Hagrid's dog, Fluffy, is sitting at the base. Thank goodness she will be taken care of at St. Mungo's.
Harry


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  #889  
Old November 7th, 2011, 4:54 am
GrimeldaDursley  Female.gif GrimeldaDursley is offline
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Re: Ask Snape - The Game

Dear Professor Snape,

I finished my detention today and was just wondering if you had anything else you want me to do. I was wrong about Siggy Whetstone, Sir. If it wasn't for him that spider would have had me for dinner. Actually, Siggy's kind of cool! He showed me all the pictures he took in Egypt. I think I'd like to go there someday. And he let me play with Morpheous.

The bad news is that Siggy and I have to do detention with Hagrid next Saturday evening. I'm kind of nervous about it, but Professor Granger said he won't let anything happen to us. I guess we'll be okay.
Thank you again for rescuing us. If you need anything cleaned, let me know. I've gotten pretty good at it.

Sincerely,
Noxious Blaxenhall ll

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++ ++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

Severus,

I so enjoyed the theater and dinner last night. And I was impressed with the book collection at your house. I noticed some that I might want to borrow sometimes, if you wouldn't mind.

Do you think you could talk to Siggy, Severus? He just seems so down since the forest incident.

I almost feel sorry for Rita Skeeter. But she brought it all upon herself, didn't she? Your friend Grimmy says she wasn't the one who oblivated Rita. Said she didn't get a chance to, due to the appearence of this idiot named Jimbo, who forced his way past her and did it himself. She also tells me a rather nasty scene followed, in which she says she smacked him on the head with a metal owl. Two of his associates came and hauled him away. They say they are going to go to St. Mungo's and try to undo what this Jimbo person did.

Back to Siggy, I think he feels that you are disappointed in him, and he's ashamed to face you. He's really sorry, Severus, so would you please give him a good word? I grown very fond of Siggy, and it would mean a lot to me.

I've heard the House-elves are trying something different this evening at dinner. The rumor is that it's Taco Night.

See you at dinner, then?

Hermione


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I'm a Hufflepuff in a Slytherin World!


snape lives imho
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  #890  
Old November 7th, 2011, 1:50 pm
Pokota  Undisclosed.gif Pokota is offline
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Re: Ask Snape - The Game

Noxious Blaxenhall II

I believe the detentions were issued to your son, Noxious Blaxenhall III. Is there any reason you're performing them?

-S. Snape

----------

Dear Professor Snape;

If you see a girl that looks like me, only with long hair instead of short, would you be so kind as to direct her to Gryffindor Tower? I'm supposed to be meeting with her to discuss her invention.

N.Himeko

----------

Dear Professor Snape,

Whoops. It would appear that I had some of my father's stationary mixed in with my own.

Noxious Blaxenhall III


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  #891  
Old November 7th, 2011, 4:02 pm
GrimeldaDursley  Female.gif GrimeldaDursley is offline
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Re: Ask Snape - The Game

Severus,

Hagrid was just in and told he has apparently has quite a group for his detention next Saturday. Along with Mr. Whetstone and Mr. Blaxenhall, he now has Ruby Witherwick [from Ravenclaw, I believe?], and Augie Shivers and Amortentia Huggins from Hufflepuff!

It appears that Misses Witherwick and Huggins, along with Mr. Shivers, were running a fairly lucrative little enterprise, selling, among other items, pink glitter they were passing off as "fairy dust",and little metal owl figurines that shout out the most obnoxious sayings. All three maintain the story that they simply "found" these items in a chest they found floating in the lake. And the little betting sideline on the duel that was supposed to take place between Whetstone and Blaxenhall, which never transpired.

Hagrid remarked that the only thing missing was a couple of Gryffindors, to make things complete. He also remarked that it's usually the Gryffindors and Slytherins he has in his detentions, never Hufflepuffs or Ravenclaws!

I want to add that you can tell your friend that Treacle is enjoying her toys immensely.


Sincerely.

Albus

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++ ++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

Dear Professor Snape,

Would you be interested in being our featured speaker next week? The topic is "Simple Potions You Can Make at Home". Tea and luncheon will follow.

Ima Trout- President of The Hogsmeade Ladies Society


__________________
"Magic is everywhere, open not only your eyes, you must also open your heart and just look, it's there, it's been there all along!"--me

I'm a Hufflepuff in a Slytherin World!


snape lives imho
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  #892  
Old November 8th, 2011, 4:53 am
SadiraSnape  Female.gif SadiraSnape is offline
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Re: Ask Snape - The Game

Ms Trout:

No.

S Snape

---------------

Siggy --

Prof Granger has informed me that you are feeling chastened over the forest incident, as well you should. However, a lesson learned is not a reason to allow all the enjoyment in your life to be blighted. Believe me, a life of regret and might-have-beens is not pleasant.

I am expecting you to shake this off and incorporate your lesson into life -- Fighting for ridiculous reasons solves nothing, and causes much more trouble than it is worth. It is always best to ask for assistance from others who are on your side.

It must be said, though, that I am quite proud of you having the courage and determination to attempt taking young Blaxenhall down a peg or two, and especially in defence of a Muggleborn. It seems you accomplished that anyway in your run-in with Hagrid's pet Acromantulas...

I am also pleased your leg has returned to normal and that Mme Pomfrey has released you to return to classes -- you have quite a bit of catching up to do, which we shall see to in the evenings after dinner.

Oh, and 30 points to Slytherin for bravery in the face of giant spiders.

SS

-------------------

HOWLER HOWLER HOWLER HOWLER

SEVERUS!!!

Were you aware that some of your Slytherins came out on Bonfire Night and burned down The Burrow again??!?!?!!!!! Really, that was completely uncalled for.

Luckily it was just FakeFyre, another one of Fred & George's products, so nothing really happened. But STILL, WHY ARE YOUR SLYTHERINS EVEN PRETENDING TO BURN MY HOUSE DOWN???!?!???!!!!!

Molly Weasley


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  #893  
Old November 8th, 2011, 5:21 am
GrimeldaDursley  Female.gif GrimeldaDursley is offline
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Re: Ask Snape - The Game

Molly,

Students are not allowed outside the Hogwarts grounds with the exception of Hogsmeade weekends. There is absolutely no way that any of "my Slytherins" could have perpetrated this unfortunate incident. Perhaps you need to ask your sons why they were possobly storing such volatile substances in the house. You are agitated and overwrought, and rightly so. Go have a cup of tea, perhaps Arthur can lace it with a drop of Ogden's Old Firewhiskey for you.

And I might also add that I resent that every single time something like this happens, you immediately assume that there's some sort of Slytherin Connection. I also resent the implication that I am teaching a bunch of pyromaniacs! Before you go accusing my House of these things, from now on I suggest that you look to your own family first.

And try to refrain from sending me any more Howlers, as they frighten my cat!

Sincerely,

Severus Snape

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++ +++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
Severus,

I am so happy for Siggy! It seems that at last he is making some friends his age! I've been noticing that since the dueling incident, he, Noxious, and that Ruby Witherwick have become very thick. They go and do everything together during their free periods. I've started calling them the Trio, they are together so much. They remind me a little of how Harry, Ron, and I were when we were at school. Isn't that funny?

Hermione


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I'm a Hufflepuff in a Slytherin World!


snape lives imho
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  #894  
Old November 8th, 2011, 5:39 am
Pokota  Undisclosed.gif Pokota is offline
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Re: Ask Snape - The Game

(We seem to have missed a few letters here and there)

Miss N.,

If the person you are asking about is who I think it is, and you are who I think you are, then I'm going to tear my hair out. You and her are not supposed to even be on this continent, let alone in Scotland. At least, I don't think you are. To quote someone who I never hope to see again, it must be Thursday. I never could get the hang of Thursdays.

I will advise both you and her to go back to her place and try again; if I hear one more person say anything about "dimensional weirdness" I cannot guarantee that I will be responsible for my actions.

And please give your friend the Chef my congratulations; I've heard she was nominated for "Best Chef Ever" by the French Wizarding Council.

~S.Snape

----------

Albus,

If Hagrid is looking for a couple of Gryffindors, I'm sure Minerva would be glad to hand her some of the latest batch of Pranksters.

In any event, I will be speaking with each member of the so-called "Spinners End Irregulars," as well as the persons responsible for the disposal of the "Fairy Dust" and metal owls - that stuff may be linked to another fluctuation in the you-know-what around here. To be candid, I'm sick of the whole thing and want it to be over and done with.

As for the miscreants, I will speak to the sellers. That stuff they found int the chest in the lake cannot be safe to sell or own, and if any of it ends up in the Potions classrooms in particular I will have more than just "such a fit" to throw. Please make a general announcement at breakfast tomorrow regarding such.

~S.Snape

----------

Hermione,

With all due respect, I would much rather not have another "Golden Trio" or "Silver Trio" or "Brass Trio" or "Magnesium Trio" or any such named "Trio" at Hogwarts again. I should not have to remind you that I was the number one target of the Marauders AND the Weasleys-Plus-Lee, AND I frequently came off worse whenever you three were up to something. Need I remind you of that night outside the Kitchens?

I hope not; I don't want to remember that night either.

~S.Snape.

----------

Professor Snape,

First of all, you have a CAT? The poor thing!

Secondly, we know it was some of your Slytherins there because they weren't even trying to disguise themselves! At least the Death Eaters had sense enough to not broadcast who they were when they were terrorizing the public! If nothing else, teach them to use code names.

Thirdly... can you send some Post-Cruciatus Potion? Ginevra's been showing signs of being Crucioed ever since Bonfire Night. I think that may have something to do with one Noxious Blaxenhall getting drunk and streaking while pretending to set fire to the Burrow. Seriously, how will his son ever be an upstanding citizen if his father's acting like a schoolboy out on his first vacation?

~A.Weasley.


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  #895  
Old November 8th, 2011, 6:11 am
GrimeldaDursley  Female.gif GrimeldaDursley is offline
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Re: Ask Snape - The Game

Dear Sir:

Well, those odd guys that came here sent us a message saying that unfortunately, somebody hit the garbage disposal button in the phonebooth thingy by accident, releasing several containers of the glitter and metal owls, and they are currently working on this problem. So if one fell into the lake at Hogwarts, we wonder if any more will turn up in the general area of the school, or if they are scattered all over England. We all had some misgivings about these guys, but since they were friends of yours, we thought they were competant. They're not saying who hit the disposal button, but we have a pretty good idea.

Everything is as back to normal as it can possibly be around here.

The Spinners End Irregulars

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++ ++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

Arthur,

I am enclosing a vial of the potion you requested. As to Mr. Blaxenhall ll behaving in such a manner, I am not surprised! Now as to my students, how can you even think we wouldn't know if any students had left the grounds on the night in question? Did you actually see any children there? Or teenagers? I think you should quit bothering me about this, and report the incident to the Ministry.

And, yes, I have a cat. A cat that is treated very well, thank you.

Severus Snape

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++ +++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
Severus,

Due to renewed interest in dueling here at school, I am considering having Albus reinstate Dueling Club. Would you be interested in assisting if we do?

Filius


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I'm a Hufflepuff in a Slytherin World!


snape lives imho

Last edited by GrimeldaDursley; November 8th, 2011 at 6:18 am.
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  #896  
Old November 8th, 2011, 10:05 pm
Sinistra_Furze  Undisclosed.gif Sinistra_Furze is offline
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Re: Ask Snape - The Game

Filius

As you know, I have less patrol duties (though I do like to go out occasionally to surprise the students who persist in out-of-hours meanderings) and classes, but larger research projects and the supervision of Mr Whetstone to fill my hours. I’m not sure I’d be able to find time to discharge my responsibilities, run a Duelling Club and pursue my own leisure activities.

I wouldn’t like to become torn between conflicting demands on my time or my loyalties.

Severus

--- --- ---

Professor Snape, Sir

We have heard rumours that there will be a Duelling Club and we think it would be great if you would coach the Slytherin team. We have selected the best students from each year and are ready to go. I looked in the trophy cabinets while I was doing a Detention, Sir, and I read Slytherins won the School Duelling trophy eleven years in a row before it was ended (by a Gryffindor Headmaster according to the records).

Will you do it Sir? Wednesday afternoon would be a good time as the Divination lessons are cancelled due to illness. I SWEAR, I had nothing to do with that, Sir.

Daphne Murtlemess

--- --- ---

Severus

I was thinking of setting up an Inter-House Games club. Gobstones, chess - whatever the students are interested in, but with mixed-House teams to encourage co-operation and teamwork. It’s heartening to see students like Siggy and Ruby make friends outside of their own Houses, something long overdue in my opinion. I’d be grateful if you would ask your students to take part, to help get the Club off the ground. Thanks awfully.

Hermione

PS Is the Heron flying this weekend?


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  #897  
Old November 9th, 2011, 5:19 am
GrimeldaDursley  Female.gif GrimeldaDursley is offline
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Re: Ask Snape - The Game

Hermione:
The Heron flies this weekend. The Rooster crows at midnight. The parrot squawks at sunrise. The crow caws at midday. The duck only quacks on Tuesdays and Sundays. Sorry, couldn't resist.

If you give me some kind of flyer, I will post it in the common room.

Severus

PS- Forgive my weak attempts a jocularity. The answer is yes.


================================================== ==================================

Dear Mess Murtlemiss, I mean Miss Murtlemess,

I have already as good as told Filius Flitwick that I was too busy to participate in any Dueling Clubs, though it would be nice to continue the winning streak. I'll do it, but there will be tryouts for anyone in Slytherin that is interested. Just because one thinks they are the best, does not make it so. Tell anyone who is interested to be at the Quidditch Pitch at 4 pm Wednesday.

Professor Snape

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++ ++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

Dear Sevvy....

Your eyes are like pools of molten coal
Your hair is so dark and so fine!
I would not be so remiss,
To turn down a kiss
And to always know you were mine!

Will you marry me, you fine specimen of manliness?

Desedemona Plunkett, Your #1 Fangirl of the World!

PS- XOXOXOXO's!


__________________
"Magic is everywhere, open not only your eyes, you must also open your heart and just look, it's there, it's been there all along!"--me

I'm a Hufflepuff in a Slytherin World!


snape lives imho
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  #898  
Old November 9th, 2011, 1:21 pm
Pokota  Undisclosed.gif Pokota is offline
Second Year
 
Joined: 1313 days
Posts: 165
Re: Ask Snape - The Game

Miss Plunkett,

Limericks are intended to be humorous, not amorous. As for your advances, I must decline for two reasons. The first reason is that, as a now-current friend has advised me, dating fans, let alone marrying them, is far from an optimal solution due to how one-sided it can get. The second reason is that I'm already interested in someone else. No, I am not telling you who.

~S.Snape

----------

S.E.I.

I contacted the others separately, and - lucky for you - their story corroborates your story. Having said that, if I do hear of you selling and/or giving away things that are, or have been seen to have been, at my house without my written consent, I will be forced to press charges. My private things are private because I do not want the world to know about them.

~S.Snape

----------

Professor Snape,

What's this about dimensional weirdness and me not supposed to be in Scotland? I've got a copy of my Hogwarts letter. I was talking with you just last week about how to extend Polyjuice Potion to include innate talents, and I wanted to try and apply that to Erika's invention. I'm afraid to say that she is now determined to have your assistance, despite my attempts to convince her that you were too busy to help.

Manami was thrilled to know that she won the Nomination for Best Chef Ever, although we are a bit confused as to how you knew about that - especially since I never told either of you about the other until now.

As for Thursdays, why do I get the feeling I know who you're talking about?

~N.Himeko


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Kingdom of Magic and Discussion Thread
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  #899  
Old November 9th, 2011, 5:37 pm
GrimeldaDursley  Female.gif GrimeldaDursley is offline
Second Year
 
Joined: 1392 days
Age: 56
Posts: 260
Re: Ask Snape - The Game

Miss N.,

After an exhaustive search of the Student Roster, I can find absolutely no, and I reiterate, no edidence that you are enrolled at this school. However, not wishing to brush your concerns off entirely, I had a Muggle-born friend do some research for me, and we came to the conclusion that this may be the "Snape" you are trying to contact. I may be wrong, but I am taking a wild guess that this is your man.

Spoiler: show


Could I assume I am correct? There seems to have been a problem lately with interdimensional fluctuations due to an unfortunate incident which I do not care to discuss. I hope this the Snape you are seeking.

Professor Snape
++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++ ++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

Dear Sir/Madame:

Hello. My name is Augustus Shivers and I am trying to make extra money to make my way through school. I am offering you the opportunity to purchase products from the line of our wonderful hair care products. Perhaps you have heard of the famous Dr. Quackamo's Elixers for Luxuriant Locks? We offer an impressive line of hair care products such as shampoos, conditioners, detanglers, hair straighteners, hair curling potions, formulas for dry or oily hair, and many more.
If you wish to peruse our catalog of products, please feel free to owl me.

Augustus [Augie] Shivers
Hufflepuff House
Hogwarts


__________________
"Magic is everywhere, open not only your eyes, you must also open your heart and just look, it's there, it's been there all along!"--me

I'm a Hufflepuff in a Slytherin World!


snape lives imho
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  #900  
Old November 9th, 2011, 6:31 pm
Pokota  Undisclosed.gif Pokota is offline
Second Year
 
Joined: 1313 days
Posts: 165
Re: Ask Snape - The Game

Ms. Shivers,

As there is already a fund in place to ensure that all Hogwarts Students are able to afford all their required materials - that is to say, the Fred Weasley Memorial Fund - I cannot imagine for what purpose you would need to have more money. Yes, I'm aware of the current state of Fred Weasley, but he was the one who chose the name when he set it up. In any event, any purchases made by or for Staff Members has to be approved by one Albus Dumbledore.

Although, I would like to try a sample of your shampoo, if that can be arranged without involving purses and whatnot.

~S.Snape

----------

Professor Snape,

He looks nothing like the Heron, which you told me you were last week when I asked you for your opinion on modified Polyjuice potion. To be perfectly honest, you were intoxicated or something similar when I tried to discuss the invention with you, so I'm not surprised that you do not remember the discussion.

As for Interdimensional Fluctuations, that would explain why some creature dragged me all across Europe the other day in an attempt to gather together other creatures and send them into a computer. Strange creature kept calling me a "chosen child" and kept saying I should have had something called a Digit Vice or something similar.

As for why my record seems to have disappeared... that is strange. I'll speak with the Headmaster this week to see if I can get that cleared up. I distinctly remember putting the Sorting Hat on my head five years ago and being deafened by a cry of Gryffindor.

~N.Himeko


__________________
Kingdom of Magic and Discussion Thread
Last Update: Chapter 10 - Christmas Reflections (1/3/2012)
Ginevra Weasley and the Disorder of the Phoenix and Discussion thread
Last Update: Episode 4.2 - Dying in the Past (9/21/2011)
When lives are at stake, there is no such thing as a fair fight.

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