Living In Your Letters II: Dear Diary- Complete

[dumbleedore]

Authors Notes: Alrighty then, it's sequel time! For those of you who have just joined us here, I advise that you go and read Living In Your Letters before you go and read this. You would be incredibly lost without reading that.

And for those of you who have been with me all along, I'll just do a quick re-cap...

In 'Living In Your Letters' Lily and Severus have a written correspondence for about eighteen months, which for the most part is kept secret from James. For Christmas 1980, Severus gives Lily an enchanted diary, which she writes in before sending it back to him, just in case something happens to her. Of course, her and James then die.

At the end of 'Living In Your Letters', Severus gives the diary and a few other things to Harry. And that is where we come into this...

FEEDBACK PLEASE!!!

EDIT: Barbara reminded me of the need for this... just a warning that you might need tissues for some parts of this... Slythy might still have some left from her 32 crates...

[dumbleedore]

The corridors of Hogwart’s School of Witchcraft and Wizardry were empty as Harry ran along them, trying to desperately put as much distance between Snape and himself as possible. The black box clutched to his chest had a strange warmth to it and he longed for a place where he could be alone, to allow it to sink in.

His mother and Snape had been friends… He shuddered at the thought. True, he and Snape got on a lot better than they had and Harry now classed him as a friend, he was slightly disturbed by Snape’s remark, remembering the scene he had seen years ago in Snape’s pensieve, the one where Snape called his mother a mudblood. How could they be friends?

‘Harry Potter!’ A voice called from behind. ‘No running in the corridors!’

He stopped dead still… that voice sounded horribly like Professor McGonagall… he was shot… he turned around, knowing he’d have to take the punishment…

‘Honestly, Harry, you look like you’ve seen a Dark Lord,’ Hermione joked. Harry allowed his breathing to slow down and he playfully hit Hermione on the shoulder.

‘Thanks for making me think you were McGonagall. I thought I was going to get expelled with two days left.’

‘Well what if I put you on detention instead?’ Hermione asked, her Head Girl badge glinting in the torch light, much the same as Harry’s Head Boy badge.

‘Only if you do it with me.’

‘Can you just imagine McGonagall? Professor, I put Harry on detention so he put me on as well.’

‘She’d just smile and nod, she knows us too well,’ Hermione said, smiling herself. ‘So, what’s the box?’

‘Ah,’ Harry said, looking around. He grabbed her by the arm and pulled her into an empty classroom just up the corridor. ‘It’s an interesting story. I was just going up to bed to look at it properly.’

‘I wouldn’t if I were you,’ She said sniffily. ‘Seamus somehow got hold of a bottle of Firewhiskey. Him, Ron and Dean are having a bit of fun.’

‘Oh, alright then,’ Harry said.

‘So the box?’

‘Oh, um, well,’ Harry set the box down on one of the tables and sat down on the chair behind it. ‘Sev- Professor Snape just gave it to me. It was my mums.’

‘Your mums?’ Hermione asked and Harry nodded. ‘Why did he have it?’

‘He said that they were friends,’ He told her, lifting the lid up and pulling the music box out and opening it. Hermione gasped.

‘A magical music box!’ She exclaimed. ‘Wow! They’re so expensive!’

‘It was a present, to me. From Sev- Professor Snape. For my first birthday.’

‘Are you serious?’ She asked, dragging a chair over to him and gently picking the music box up. ‘Wow.’

Harry pulled the stack of letters out, as well as the diary and placed them on the table. He took hold of the photo album and opened it up. On the top of each page the names of the people in the photo were written, as well as the date.

‘Petunia, mother and I, August Fifteenth 1979,’ Harry read. ‘James and I, August Fifteenth 1979. My parents wedding! I never knew the date!’

‘James and I, Christmas 1979,’ Hermione pointed to the next photo.

‘James, Sirius, Remus and Peter, New Years 1980.’

‘Mother and I, February 1980, four months. Four months?’ Hermione asked.

‘Four months pregnant, I guess,’ Harry said, shrugging his shoulders. ‘Next one- Sirius and I, March 1980.’

‘Petunia and I, March 1980. Seven months and five months.’

‘Aunt Petunia looks as big as a house. I didn’t think Dudley was that big of a baby.’

‘Harry!’ Hermione exclaimed, laughing slightly. ‘Sirius and James, Easter 1980. Me, May 1980.’

‘James and I, June 1980. One month to go.’

‘Sirius, Remus, Evangela, Carissa, James and I, June 1980.’

‘Big as a house, July 1980,’ Harry smiled at the picture of his mother standing alone in a flowery summer dress. Hermione placed her hand over his and he turned the page.

‘James, Harry and I, our first photo, July 31st 1980,’ Hermione read softly. ‘Oh, you all look so happy!’

The next dozen or so pages were filled with various photos of Harry in various stages of babyhood, including some that made Harry regret his early attitude to Snape… he could have so easily used these against him…

‘Severus and Olivia, April 1981,’ Harry read and looked up at Hermione. ‘Olivia and Severus?’

‘She must have been his girlfriend. Or wife,’ She said, ignoring Harry’s snickers. ‘Olivia… she looks so familiar…’

Harry looked at the woman in the photo, but the long black curls that bounced as she tossed her head slightly, laughing, were unfamiliar to him.

‘Olivia Standi,’ Hermione said suddenly and Harry looked at her in amazement.

‘How’d you know that?’

‘She was in a book I just read. About the attack on Gringott’s in Paris. She was killed. The attack was in May 1981. This was obviously taken just before then. She was someone important in the French Ministry and quite young when she died,’ She turned the page and a newspaper clipping was pasted in instead of a photo. It was folded over, so Harry gingerly pulled it down.

EIGHTY ONE DIE IN ATTACK ON GRINGOTTS OF PARIS: DEATH EATERS ATTACK THE HEART OF THE FRENCH WIZARDING WORLD

Eighty-one witches and wizards were yesterday viciously slaughtered in a Death Eater attack on Gringott’s of Paris.

According to one eye-witness, the Death Eater’s stormed the building just before lunchtime, a move to apparently ensure maximum casualties. They then proceeded to demolish the building from the inside, with the entire structure collapsing.

Most of the casualties, however, were not in the bank, but in the adjoining building which hosts part of the French Ministry of Magic. Most senior French officials managed to clear the building before the Gringott’s building fell onto it. Olivia Standi, 20, the Deputy Chief Magical Liaison Officer, was the highest ranked official in the building at the time of its collapse.

Ms Standi, a former Prefect and Head Girl of Hogwart’s School was offered the position of Secretary to the Chief Magical Liaison Officer upon completion of her education. When the Deputy Chief retired at the end of last year, the French Minister promoted Ms Standi into the job over many more highly qualified candidates.

None of the Death Eater’s responsible for the attack have yet been apprehended. The British Ministry has sent a quotient of Auror’s to the French capital to assist with the rescue and recovery mission.

‘That explains why Snape’s so bitter,’ Hermione said, folding the clipping up again. ‘He was in love with her.’

‘He’s not bitter,’ Harry said, before he realised what he said.

‘And how would you know?’ Hermione asked shrewdly. ‘You give him hell in Potions and he gives you hell back.’

‘Er, well, yeah. You know how I’ve been disappearing every night?’

‘Yes.’

‘I’ve been going to see Snape,’ He said and Hermione just looked at him.

‘Are you sure you weren’t up with Ron and the others?’ She asked, leaning forward and sniffing his breath. ‘You smell like it.’

‘No. I was in Snape’s room talking with him. Like I do every night.’

‘No, seriously Harry, where have you been going?’ Harry stared at her, not wanting to say it again, and her jaw dropped. ‘Well, I never saw that coming.’

‘Neither did I,’ Harry said honestly, turning the page. She shrugged her shoulders and then it was his turn for jaw dropping as the next photo was his mother, himself and-

‘Harry, Severus and I, Paris 1981,’ Hermione read. ‘What was that you said the other day, about never having been to Paris?’

‘Hermione, I wasn’t even a year old!’ He exclaimed, not taking his eyes off the photo. Both his mother and Snape seemed so guarded, yet relaxed. As he watched, Snape relieved Lily of Harry, holding him in his arms like he was his own son.

‘Are you alright?’ Hermione asked, squeezing his hand gently. Harry closed the photo album and sighed.

‘Yeah,’ Harry said. ‘It’s just- just a shock.’

They sat in silence, before Harry picked up the black diary and turned it over in his free hand, remembering Riddle’s diary.

‘Do you think it’s wrong if I read my own mothers diary?’ Harry asked and Hermione shook her head.

‘Why would she have left it for you if she didn’t want you to read it?’ She said softly. Harry regarded her for a moment, before opening the black cover to the first page…

[dumbleedore]

Dear Diary (honestly, that sounds so stupid),


Why don’t you just call me Ena?


Oh wow! Severus said you were enchanted, but I didn’t expect- this is- whoa!


Do you need a moment to compose yourself?


No, no, I’m fine- it’s just, well, a bit of a shock that’s all.


I quite understand.


So who or what exactly are you?


I am Rowena Ravenclaw. Ena for short.


Rowena Ravenclaw? No joke?


I would like to think I know who I am, even if I am just a diary.


But if you’re just a diary, how do you have an identity?


It is quite a complicated story that I do not feel up to reciting at the moment.

Do you mind if I ask the inevitable question of who are you and what is the date?


Oh! I didn’t mean to be rude and not introduce myself!

I’m Lily Potter. Lilya to be precise, but I hate, I repeat HATE, my full name. I got teased awful at muggle school. That’s why I never told anyone but my close friends at Hogwarts my full name.


But Lilya is so pretty! It is Ukrainian, is it not?


Yes. It means ‘flowers’, apparently.


Well, Lily, I am very pleased to meet you.

May I enquire as to what year it is?


Oh! How rude of me again! It is Christmas day, 1980.


1980… my word… the last time I was written in was 1945, the day of Grindelwald’s defeat.


So you know about Grindelwald?


My child, he was the evilest wizard ever known.


No, Lord Voldemort is the evilest wizard ever known.


Lord Voldemort? I have not heard of him.


You wouldn’t have. He’s- well, he’s my generations Grindelwald.


Your generations Grindelwald? Heaven’s child… they said they would never let it happen again… they said that evil would never again rise…


We will never be rid of evil. There will be brief calm between storms, but it will always rise. Before Grindelwald there were others and Lord Voldemort will not be the last.


Lily, may I ask how old you are?


I am twenty years old.


You seem so wise, child.


I was just repeating what James said that Dumbledore told him.


Ah yes- Albus Dumbledore. Greatest wizard ever.


You know of Dumbledore?


Child, everyone knows of Dumbledore.


Because of Grindelwald and all that.


Yes. My last owner told me all about Dumbledore.


May I ask who your last owner was?


You may ask, but I cannot say. You see, when I created this diary I placed a charm on it meaning that anything that is told to me in strict confidence I cannot repeat. If you know something, such as the defeat of Grindelwald, then I may say what I know.


So is that why the diary seems empty?


Yes. The words my former owner poured in to me have been bought through the pages.


So if I was to leave this diary with someone for a period of time, would my words still be there?


If you ask me not to let your words leave the page, then I will do that for you.

Is that what you want, Lily?


Oh, yes. You see, the reason Severus gave me this diary was so that I could store thoughts and memories for my son, Harry, to see in the years to come, to show him the time that we live in.


Hmm… I have a few questions… you have mentioned a James, now a Severus and your son Harry… first, who is James and Severus?


James is my husband. We’ve been married for just over a year. And Severus is- Severus is-

I don’t really know what to class Severus as…


Why don’t you know that, Lily?


It’s just that- it’s just that- we have a bit of history together and- and- well, no one quite knows that he is my friend.

You see- I think I’d better start right right at the start.


You make it seem like the start was many years ago.


It was. The start was our first year at Hogwarts.


That is only nine years, Lily.


I know, but it seems like so much longer! Right, so, the start of everything-

Actually, it’s quite late- do you mind if I start on this tomorrow?


Of course not!

Good night, Lily.


Good night, Ena.

[dumbleedore]

Authors Notes: I hope the double spacing makes it easier to see..

Hello Ena!


You seem cheerful today, Lily.


I’m not, really. Well, I am, but I’m not- have you ever had one of those days?


More than I can dare count.


I don’t know what bought it on; I just woke up like this. I think it is post Christmas blues.

Right, so, I was going to explain about Severus and James, wasn’t I?


Yes, I believe so.


And I was starting at the start, wasn’t I?


Yes, I believe so.


And I’m stalling, aren’t I?


Yes, you are.


Ok, I’ll start…

When I started at Hogwarts, I knew no people at all. I am a muggle born, you see.


Nothing to be ashamed of, Lily. Always be proud of your heritage: it is who you are.


I know. I’m not ashamed of being a muggle-born. I was just stating. So, I’m on the train and I knew no one at all. Every single compartment was full. Except for this one that had a boy in it, obviously a first year as well.


James?


No. Severus. I asked if I could sit with him and he said I could. It was quiet, too quiet. We’d exchanged pleasantries and all that, but that was all. I was starting to think that I would never make any friends at Hogwarts.


Until you met James?


Hell no. James and I weren’t even talking to each other until sixth year.


And you married him because…


I’m getting to that, Ena. Patience is a virtue.


Stuff virtues.


ENA!!!


Oh, pardon me child…


I never would have expected you to come out with language like that! In fact, I have been wondering-


Why I do not speak in ‘thee’ and ‘thou’?


Yes.


Child, think of when I created this diary.


Mmm…


Think of how many years since, how many owners I would have had…


Oh, right… I thought that last night, why you didn’t speak like you did when you were-


Alive? Lily, I did not know I had died until thirty years later.


Wow… I’d hate to find out I died years later… kinda creepy…


Yes, it was.

Now quit stalling, young lady, and finish telling me about James and Severus.


****. I was hoping you’d forgotten.


Language, Lily.


Sorry.

Right, so where was I?


You and Severus were on the train.


Right.

So, we’re on the train-


Stalling again, Lily.


Oh, hush you and let me speak!!!

We’d had a peaceful journey so far, peaceful and incredibly quiet.

Suddenly, the compartment door opens and these two boys come in. The shortest one, wearing glasses, looks at Severus and just sneers:

‘You’re a Snape, aren’t you?’

And Severus just glares back and just says:

‘And you’re a Potter.’

So then, James just looks at me and just says:

‘If I were you, I wouldn’t go around making friends with any Snape’s.’

And I shot back with:

‘If making friends other than with a Snape means being friends with you, forget it.’

Sirius, the boy with James, was trying not to laugh his head off. James had never been told off by anyone, and here he is, getting told off. By a girl to boot.

So James and Sirius stalk off and Severus just looks at me and mentions that he had never heard of an Evans wizarding family. And I told him I was a muggle born.

And he called me a mudblood.


He didn’t!


He did. He apologised straight away. It was just the way he was raised, to think that all muggle borns and people who aren’t against them are evil. He explained to me the whole pure blood hysteria and about Voldemort and everything. We started to get along quite well. I had no money with me, so he bought me lunch.

We finally get to Hogwarts and we take the boats across and then it comes to the sorting. Severus had told me about his family being in Slytherin for generations. I wanted to be with Severus.

So when my name was called, the sorting hat told me I would do well in any house and asked me which on I would prefer to be in. I asked to be in whichever house I would find friends.

And it put me in Gryffindor. Sirius who had come into the train compartment with James was already a Gryffindor, so I sat near him. Soon some girls got sorted and then Remus Lupin, who’d met James and Sirius on the train, came and sat with Sirius, followed by Peter Pettigrew. And then James Potter.


Oh dear.


Yes. He’s sat down opposite me and just smiled and said:

‘Well, well, well, Snivellus’s friend.’

To which I replied:

‘Oh just sod off, you bullying git. It’s our first day and you’re already alienating the people you will have to live with for another seven years?’


Lily!


I know! First day we met and I shot him down twice! That’s why we didn’t talk much.

Oh, and the fact that even though I was a Gryffindor and Severus was a Slytherin we stayed friends. I couldn’t ‘click’ with the girls in my dorms. I hated Hogwarts so bad. I wanted to go home. I didn’t think I was cut out to be magical. Severus and I had Potions together and we sat together and I would pour my heart out in whispers.


Lily! Such an awful way to spend your first few weeks in the magical world!


I know.

After we’d been at Hogwarts for about two months, Severus and I were quite good friends. And then one day he asked if I minded him sitting with the Slytherin’s. I didn’t mind- why should I?


And started to sit with them all the time?


Good guess. I was left alone. We’d say hello in the corridors, we went for a couple of walks around the lake, but that was all. And I didn’t know how to ‘make friends’ because the friends I’d had in muggle school-


Had been your friends ever since you could remember.


Exactly.

Then, one day, Severus and I passed and he didn’t say hello or anything. It was after Christmas in our first year. I thought maybe he was just distracted and all that, but it happened several more times and I knew it wasn’t. I knew that a distance between us would happen. I mean, a Gryffindor and a Slytherin friends? Would never happen.

And then-

Oh Ena, Harry has just started to cry… you don’t mind if I cut you off there?


Certainly not, child. Just as long as you do come back and finish.


Of course!

Goodbye, Ena!


Goodbye, Lily.

[dumbleedore]

Hello again, Ena.


Hello again, Lily.


So, where was I?


Severus had just stopped saying hello.


Right.

Flash forward to our fifth year.


So nothing happened in-between?


Well, I told James off several more times and did a lot of homework.


Oh. I see.


So, fifth year. Severus and I hadn’t spoken in a while. We were down by the lake, me and the girls, who I had become friends with, when a commotion started.

It was James and Sirius. And Severus.


Oh dear.


My thoughts exactly. I go to see what was happening, I was a prefect after all and I arrive in time to see James washing Severus’s mouth out.


Oh dear.


I start trying to get James to clear off, but he keeps saying that he’ll only clear off if I go out with him.


Please tell me that’s not why you ended up married.


Good god no!

James and I exchange a few more words and then Severus hexes James.

Who then flips him upside down so his robes fell over his face, revealing, well, everything…


That is horrible.


I know. I started to scream at James again and he’s let Severus down. Sirius then put him in a full body bind, which James removed.

And Severus called me a mudblood again.

And I stood there, expecting him to apologise like he did all those years before, but he didn’t… and that hurt worse than anything else ever had… he basically sliced me in two…


Oh, Lily!


We’d had our Defence theory exam that morning and we were meant to be doing our practical that afternoon, but I skipped that, I was in a daze.

I failed my Defence OWL. Only exam I ever failed.


All because of that.


Yes.


Still, how did you and James end up together?


Now that is an interesting story.


I was hoping it would be.


The summer after the underpants day, I got an owl from James. Apologising to me for what he’d done. Said he’d never apologise to Severus, but he felt awful about how he’d made me feel.

I ignored the owl. I hated James so much that my blood boiled. Then he sent a second owl. And a third.

By the twelfth owl I knew I had to reply. So I told him to sod off and leave me alone.


And he kept writing?


Good guess again. It reached the stage where it wasn’t only two owls a day, it was three or four letters in the muggle mail as well.


Heavens, child!


I know. So, in the last week of August I relented. I agreed to meet James in Diagon Alley. And I discovered that away from Sirius he was a different person. He still loved playing jokes and everything, just not ‘mean’ jokes like he did at school.

And over that one day we became friends. And we managed to stay friends for the entire school year.

The following summer we kept writing to each other every day and James asked me to meet him in Hogsmeade for the day. I went and we had a fantastic time. He was sweet and funny and everything I liked about him was staring me in the face.


And you realised you were in love with him.


Yes. We met up several more times over the holidays and by the time we got our Hogwarts letters, we were pretty much a couple.

And maybe Dumbledore could see it happening. And that’s why he made us head boy and girl.


Oh Lily! That is fantastic!


I thought so. James wasn’t too happy to begin with, kept muttering that he had to behave himself now. I reminded him that it was because of the fact he’d been behaving himself a bit better for the past year that he became head boy. Of course, he didn’t like hearing that.


Naturally.


Oh, Ena, I love talking with you! You understand everything straight away!


So is that the end of the story? You and Severus were friends, he stopped talking to you, James revealed his legs and other things then pelted you with owls and you fell in love with him?


Yes, in a nutshell.


And you still haven’t classed Severus as anything.


You know what Ena? It’s getting late now… I’m going to go to bed now.


Lily, quit stall-

[dumbleedore]

-ing.


Pardon?


When you closed me I was saying ‘Lily, quit stalling’ and you didn’t let me finish my sentence, so I finished it when you reopened me.


Oh! Sorry about that Ena. I didn’t mean to shut you so quickly. I had to do something.


I thought you were going to bed.


So did I. But I couldn’t sleep. So I wrote to Severus and told him I couldn’t write to him anymore.


And why can’t you write to him anymore?


Because I feel like I’m cheating on James.


Lily, I’m going to ask something and you don’t have to answer it if you don’t want to.

Are you in love with Severus?



Lily?



You don’t have to answer.




Have I offended you?



Lily?




Don’t make me call you Lilya…


Of course I’m not in love with him! I have James and I have Harry.


Then why did it take you so long to answer?



Lily?


I have a six month old baby sitting next to me crying, Ena. I can’t reply instantly when Harry’s like this!


Of course, Harry.


I know that tone. Don’t use that tone with me.


Fine, I won’t use that tone.

If you’ll tell me why it took you so long to tell me whether or not you were/are in love with Severus.


Fine.

I’ve always been, well, a little confused when it comes to Severus. He was the first person I ever became friends with at Hogwarts and everything like that.

Plus, he’s rather handsome…


LILY!!!


Hey, you wanted to know!

And, well, I kinda glossed over something before… I mentioned walks…


Around the lake with Severus?


Yes.

On the first walk, when we got back to the castle, he kissed my hand, like real gentlemen do.


And that wasn’t the only kiss, was it Lily?


No. We only went for four walks. On the first two he kissed my hand. On the third he kissed my cheek.

And by the natural laws of progression, you can figure out the rest.


I can indeed figure out the rest.

Lily, have you ever thought that maybe it was that event that led to Severus stopping to talk to you?



Lily?



Don’t do this again.



Hello?



Come on, Lily.


I’m thinking!

Maybe. A Slytherin might have seen him do it and started to tell him-

Oh man…

Why’d you get me thinking like this?


I do apologise Lily- it seemed most obvious.


It does now. But it doesn’t when you’re eleven years old!!!

But it’s done now. Can’t be changed.

Plus, I love James!


Do you really, Lily?


Of course I do! I place his wellbeing higher than my own. He makes me happy, but makes me sad. When I think about him, I get this warm floaty feeling inside my stomach and my heart flutters when he says my name…


And what about Severus? What happens when you think of him or are around him?


I get- I get a little shaky. Like I’ve just had the flu. I get breathless when he says my name. When I think of him I feel instantly happy…


I see.


You’re about to say something big that will make me change the way I think, aren’t you?


Yes, Lily, I am.

I think what has happened is this-

But first- do you believe in soul mates?


It depends on what you are going to say.


Good answer.

I think what has happened is that when you met Severus, you found your soul mate. Someone who you share a deep bond with.

You just started to communicate again with him recently?


Y-yes


And it was as if no time had passed since the last time you spoke? That the obstacles between you were no longer?


Y-yes


And you feel such a deep connection with him, one that words cannot explain?


Yes


Then Severus is your soul mate.


But- what about James? Shouldn’t he be my soul mate, seeing as though I ended up with him?


No. Your soul mate isn’t always the person you end up with. Your soul mate is someone like what I just described- someone you have a wordless bond with, a bond in which nothing can come between you. The last time Severus said anything to you before you started talking again was an insult. And yet you are now speaking with him, after ignoring him for the last two years of school.


So if Severus is my soul mate, what is James?


James is your true love. James is the one who you will spend the rest of your life with. You understand James, he understands you. There is an electricity, a chemistry, between the two of you. You will never be at a loss of what to say to James. He will stand by you and support you and love you for who you are. And you will do the same for him.

The only difference, really, is the fact that you don’t have that silent bond. You have to speak to know what the other is thinking. You cannot just look at James and know instantly. You may be able to, with certain things. But marginally speaking, he would have to speak to tell you what is on his mind. Severus would not.


And you figured all that out from just what I have told you?


Yes.


You are so good at reading between the lines…


Thank you, Lily.


I know you’re going to think I’m running away from this conversation, but I have to go. Severus just replied to the letter I sent him.


I understand.


I know.

[dumbleedore]

Hi


Hi yourself.


Another day, another dollar, right?


Lily, are you alright?


I’m fine. Superb! Couldn’t be better!


Stop being sarcastic, Lily.


Sorry.


What did Severus’s letter say?


I don’t want to talk about it.


Lily, I am your diary. Please, tell me about it.


Well, I wrote to him the other day and was talking about all that we talked about, how we first met and things like that.

And I told him I had to stop writing.


Yes, you told me that.


And he writes back. AND ACCEPTS THAT I HAVE TO STOP!!!


And that is a problem because???


He was meant to reply with something other than his own version of events and acceptance!!! He was meant to beg me not to stop writing!

Wait- forget I said that.


Already have.

What exactly did he say?


I won’t copy the whole letter- just a few little bits…

But then, as you mentioned, I started to make other friends. They all used to ridicule me for sitting with you in potions and one day I decided to sit with them


Is that just his nice way of saying they saw us snogging?


But a Gryffindor and Slytherin had never been friends and I knew it was going to be impossible. I couldn’t bring myself to tell you. That’s why I started to avoid you. I couldn’t look you in the face and tell you I couldn’t be friends with you anymore


Oh, Lily.


Except for that day that your perfect Potter decided to have some fun. I saw you coming and I knew you would try to stop them. And you almost had. But I was furious with everyone. I was fighting with my ‘friends’, I was having a **** time in the exams and they just pushed me too far. And I didn’t need you getting caught up in it.

I don’t know what came over me. I really don’t. I’d blurted it out before I realised what I had done. And I knew you were waiting for me to apologize, but I couldn’t. I don’t know why, but I just couldn’t.

All afternoon, after the exam, I tried to find you. Someone said that you hadn’t turned up for the exam and I was panicked. I had to speak to you. I had to apologize, even though it was too late. I finally saw you, being carried up to the castle by Hagrid. I followed him into the hospital wing and Madam Pomfrey gave you a calming draught. I knew that I wouldn’t be able to talk to you and school was ending soon anyway, so I left it alone. I was going to owl you over the summer, but it just never seemed to be the right time.

And when we returned to Hogwarts that September, I saw the last sight I expected to see. You, speaking to James. Like you had been friends for ages. It was shocking, it was confusing... you hated James.


Just wait…


I walked in on you and James in the transfiguration classroom. The last thing I expected. Neither of you saw me.

I left you well alone after that. You didn’t need me. You hadn’t since first year. You had friends, you had James... you had everything.


Oh, Lily…


Right throughout the last six months I have been waiting for you to tell me that you couldn’t write to me any longer, which is why I am accepting your last letter with good grace


Oh, child…


Must have been meant to be.

Soul mate my ***.


It is because he is your soul mate that he understands, Lily.

You do understand that, don’t you?



Lily?

[dumbleedore]

‘Harry?’ Hermione asked as Harry put the diary down on the desk. ‘Are you alright?’

He looked down at the innocent looking black book and then looked up at her, his face pale white.

‘This is- this is- this is- it’s sickening,’ He said quietly. ‘My mother in love with Snape?’

‘I don’t know what to say,’ Hermione said. ‘Maybe we misread it?’

‘Misread? MISREAD?’ He bellowed, standing up, knocking his chair sideways. ‘SHE CALLED HIM HER SOUL MATE!!! SO DID THIS- DIARY!!!’

‘Harry, stop shouting!’ Hermione hissed. ‘You don’t want to wake the whole **** castle!’

He picked his chair up, muttering darkly to himself.

‘I know this is a bit of a shock to you. I know that it can’t be nice. But I do think we should keep on reading.’

‘Yeah, maybe mum will start to remember she’s married to dad and that she has me,’ Harry said sourly, picking the diary up and turning to the next entry, still scowling.

[dumbleedore]

Happy New Year, Ena!


I take it you are talking to me again?


I was never not talking to you, Ena. I was just, well, not myself last time I wrote.


I noticed.


Oh, don’t be mad… it’s New Years! No-one gets mad on New Years!


I’m not mad, Lily. I’m just trying to figure out the meaning behind your reaction.


Don’t.


If you say so.

So how did you and James celebrate the New Year?


Just a quiet night. We let Harry stay up later than usual; it is New Years after all. And then when the clock hit midnight we opened a Butterbeer each and just sat quietly in front of the fire.


Sounds nice.


It was. Sirius got us all tickets to the ball in Hogsmeade, but we decided to stay in.


The Hogsmeade ball still goes ahead each year?


Oh, yes! It’s the best fun! We went during our seventh year. James and I went together, Remus went with his girlfriend Harmony and Sirius went alone.


Remus and Sirius are James’s best friends?


Yes. So is Peter. But Peter- well, he’s not around much at the moment. But he was never entrenched in the group really.


And this Harmony- a friend of yours?


Sort of. She was a year below us at school and we all met her on her first day. She and Remus had been together for a while by the time of the ball.


Are they still together now?


No. You see, Remus is a werewolf. James, Sirius and Peter all learnt to become Animagus so they could stay with him on full moons. Harmony also become Animagus, but Remus wouldn’t let her come on the full moon.


And how did this mean that they are no longer together?


Harmony has this power, I don’t even know what it is called, but whenever she touches someone for an extended period of time, she can see feelings and stuff. It’s quite bizarre. She trained her power to block out people she was around all the time, even Remus, but because she had her seventh year when we weren’t there, she lost it around Remus and it just hurt her too much physically to be around him, so they ended it.


Oh, that is sad.


It is. She’s gone off overseas now. Remus misses her something terrible. He really loved her.

But why am I telling you this anyway?


We were talking about the Hogsmeade ball and you were saying how you all went during your seventh year.


Yes, that’s right. Should I tell you about when we went to the ball?


Yes, please do!


Alright then…

James surprised me on Christmas with tickets. For the first Christmas since I went to Hogwarts, I didn’t go home. Our entire group, which was basically all the seventh year Gryffindors, went to James’s house for the holidays, as James’s parents went away. And my present from James was the tickets to the ball.


How romantic, considering the tickets are free.


Free? They cost five galleons each now, it’s that popular! All the money goes to St Mungos but, so it’s a good cause. And you have to buy tickets months in advance. James said he bought ours in July!


My word. That is popular. Is it still held in the town hall?


Yes.


I’m surprised that building is still standing!


So is everyone.

But we’re not here to talk about the hall. We’re here to talk about the New Year’s we went to the ball.


Oh, yes, that’s right. Do tell. What were your dress robes like?


They were made from silk- REAL silk- and really flowey. They were white and had what my mother would call ‘an indecent neck line’. Whenever I spun around they’d twirl with me… I still have them and I still fit into them!

James wanted to pretend that we were having a ‘real’ date, that he had to pick me up and do the whole embarrassed meeting with the parents, so Remus and Harmony pretended to be my parents. Sirius was pretending to be my older brother who didn’t want his little sister going out with just anyone.


Sounds like fun.


It was. I kept laughing. Sirius really got into his role; he got quite protective. Harmony was like me; she couldn’t keep a straight face. Remus stayed in character, but he didn’t do too well at it.


How did you get to the ball?


James’s house was just outside of Hogsmeade, so we hired some carriages to take us across the snow and into the village.


Sounds marvellous.


It was. And then the ball- oh Ena, it was just wonderful… everyone there treated us like ‘grown ups’ not as Hogwarts students. We even got champagne as the clock struck midnight!


How old were you at that stage Lily?


I’d had my seventeenth birthday not long before.


And they obviously didn’t know this?


No- we kept quiet. None of us were eighteen- Harmony was only sixteen. But I swear-

Oh, Ena, I have to go-

~*~

Authors Notes: I know I kinda threw that Harmony/Remus thing in there... kinda a lead up to a new fic I've started working on that kinda mets up with this... don't hold your breath but- it's not coming until January. More on that later...

[dumbleedore]

Honestly.


What is it, Lily?


When I had to rush off before it was because James was calling out to me, quite urgently. I ran upstairs to him to discover him-

Stuck between two bookcases.

Yes, my husband, my almost twenty-one year old husband, managed to get himself wedged in between two bookcases, unable to reach his wand and unable to un-wedge himself.


Deary me.


I KNOW.

It took me an hour and a half to get him unstuck! And I still don’t know what he was doing to get stuck in between the two bookcases. He won’t tell me.

Ho. Nest. Ly.


Is he fine now?


Oh, yes. He’s a little bit sore but.

I was telling you about the ball, wasn’t I?


Yes, you were.

You were up to the underage drinking, I believe.


I didn’t drink that much… I had one glass of champagne. And it wasn’t as if I was apparating or anything. We took the carriages back like we had come.

It was a wonderful night but. James and I danced the entire time. I’d never danced like that before. I’d danced with my father at family gatherings, but never with someone I was not related to and that I felt so strongly about. And I’ve only done it once since; our wedding.


Ah, your wedding…


I know that tone- you want to hear about it, don’t you?


I just want to get to know you, Lily.


Can I save it for a rainy day?


Of course.


Can I ask a question, Ena?


Certainly.


How exactly does this diary work?


Ah. I expected this.

When I was alive, just before I left Hogwarts, I bought myself a plain old boring parchment diary, the one you are writing in now. I thought it was too boring, so I started to do some research on a few charms to liven diary keeping up.

The only charm that I could find that might be what I was looking for was some charms from the memory charm family tree. But even that charm was not enough.

And that was when I discovered the Cyryrius charm.


That’s how the diary works? The Cyryrius charm?

And you discovered it?


Yes. By using several recall charms, and a bit of ancient magic, I had discovered the Cyryrius charm.


May I ask where the name comes from?


Cyryrius was my older brother, killed in a duel with his best friend. I was nine years old at the time.


A duel? I thought-


That I was a muggle born? Yes, I am. It was a muggle duel with swords.


And the ancient magic you used- what was it?


It was a soul duplication spell and a transfer charm. The first time I tried, I duplicated my soul, transferred it into this diary and placed the recall charms on top. But the second time I tried, I’d combined all the charms needed into one. And it worked. I wrote in myself for a while and told myself about the tests I had done, using my smartest students.

I left the diary behind when I left Hogwarts, or so I was told.


Wow. We studied the Cyryrius charm during our seventh year- Professor Flitwick had no idea who had created the charm or what it was created for! In our textbooks it says that it is used for temporarily possessing people.


I sincerely hope not!


At least now I know the truth and if/when I give this diary to Harry, he will know the truth to.


Actually, Lily, speaking of Harry…

If you are giving this diary to Harry, what will he think about your comments about Severus?



Lily?


He’ll just have to deal.


Lily, can I ask you something that I want you to be one hundred percent honest with me about?


Certainly.


You don’t think you’re going to be alive when Harry gets this diary, do you?


You really want me to be honest?


Yes.



Lily?


Yes, I do believe that by the time Harry comes across this diary I will be dead.

And it’s not because I’m planning on giving it to him when he’s two hundred.

Things are dangerous at the moment, with the war against Voldemort and because of something else and I just have this feeling that Harry will survive it, but I won’t.

Does that sound crazy?


Sounds perfectly sane to me, child.


Thank you Ena.

And thank you for explaining about yourself to me.


Not a problem child.

I assume you have to go now?


Yes. I have to get dinner started.

Goodbye, Ena.


Goodbye, Lily.

[dumbleedore]

Authors Notes: I hope everyone is enjoying this.

Just a reminder about the feedback thread. Not only is this thread for you guys to tell me how wonderful I am, there will be little extra bits thrown in there too (such as James Potter: Stuck in Action). You don't have to leave feedback, but I will love you forever if you do!!!

Right, so, onto what you're all here for...

Oh, and the song featured in this chapter, I wrote myself. Imagine a sweeping piano and violen score...

~*~

You know how I promised the wedding story for a rainy day?


Yes?


Well, it’s raining today, Harry has gone down for his nap and James is away for the night, so I have plenty of time.


Sounds like you have your afternoon all set then.


Sure do. Harry won’t wake for another two hours at least and there is nothing else to do.


Well, I guess I’ll start by asking the obvious- how did James propose?


Well… go back to the New Years ball…


He didn’t!


He did.

We were in the carriage on the way back, just us. We’d left early.

But I just have to go back a bit earlier.

When term ended, we all went shopping in Hogsmeade for the day. We were passing the Hogsmeade jeweller and there was this ring in the window, this gorgeous ring. I saw it and I just pointed it out to James as a joke. He and Sirius went off on their own that afternoon and I thought nothing of it.


Until you were in the carriage.


Right in one. About halfway back it stopped snowing as heavily as it had been. The ground was just white, the stars- oh Ena, the stars…

James stopped the carriage and just turned to look at me and just said:

‘You know I love you more than anything, right?’

And I just nodded, not really knowing what to say. I was shaking…

He then took hold of both my hands and said:

‘And you know that for the past year and a half my life has revolved around you?’


Wait- hadn’t you only been a couple for about six months at this stage? Why has his life revolved around your for a year and a half?


Because that’s how long we had been talking for.


That’s right, I remember now.

Do continue.


All I did when he said that was nodded again.

So he reaches into his robes and pulls something out, something I can’t see. He then gets down on one knee, and I knew straight away what he was getting at, but I was frozen to the spot and not just because it was a cold night. I couldn’t think. My mind had just walked away.

He took hold of my hands again and, I can still remember every single word he said…

‘Lily, I know that for so many years I didn’t have the slightest clue of how to impress you. The truth is, whenever you were in the same room as me, I would just lose my head. Whenever you looked at me, even in disgust, my heart would beat ten thousand times louder, my palms would go all sweaty- I knew that I needed you in my life.

‘But you never seemed to want to be near me or even talk to me. But then we started to become friends and I felt so stupid. The best way to have you in my life was to be your friend. I had ignored the obvious path for so long.

‘And last summer- last summer was fantastic. Spending so much time with you, really getting to know you. And having these feelings I have had for you for so long returned.

‘Lily, I am nothing without you. If it hadn’t been for you over the last year and a half, I would have been expelled ten times over. I love you so much and I never want to not be without you, which is why I am asking you now, as young as we are, to marry me.

‘You don’t have to answer straight away, I know, it’s a shock and it’s so sudden and that we are so young, but the way I see it, once you know the person you want to spend the rest of your life with, why waste more time trying to deny it, to try and live first? What is there saying that you can’t live and be married at the same time?’


Oh, Lily! That was beautiful!


I know… and then he opens the box and it’s the ring I was looking at in Hogsmeade!

I accepted straight away- I was in shock but. I was seventeen years old- and I was engaged!


What does the ring look like?


My ring? It’s an emerald with a diamond on either side.


Sounds very pretty.


It is. I love my ring.


So, continue. You’d just accepted.


Right.

We decided to keep it secret until we finished school, it could have ended up as a scandal. The head boy and girl engaged? The head boy and girl who until a year before hadn’t even been able to be in the same room without people keeping them apart?

We got back to James’s house and we’d only just walked in when Sirius stuck his head in the fire and told us that they were heading over to Evangela’s place to continue New Years there and that they’d come back that afternoon in a group.


Which left you and James, newly engaged, alone.


Yes.

And I guess you can gather what happened from there?


I think I can.


We had talked about it- of course we had. But I had wanted to wait until we were out of Hogwarts or even until we were married. But that night, I knew that no matter what happened, James and I would end up married. And it had been the perfect night- everything had gone right and it was so romantic and we basically just got swept up in the moment.

But it was the right moment.


I am sure it was.


Sirius already knew about the engagement, of course. He helped James buy the ring. We swore him to secrecy as well and several days after New Years, I went into the muggle village and rang my mother and arranged for James and I to go up and spend the last weekend of the break at home with her and dad and catch the Express back from Kings Cross.


What about James’s parents?


They came home two days before we left and James and I told them. They were ecstatic.

I just wish my parents had been the same.


They didn’t approve?


No. They thought I was far too young to be thinking so seriously. They liked James, they’d met him several times, but we were just too young.

It didn’t help that my sister had also just gotten engaged and Petunia started to rant and rave that I was copying her.


So does everyone know now that you were engaged for half of seventh year?


No. We kept it that secret. Only Sirius and our parents knew and we knew no one else would find out. I just couldn’t wear my ring on my finger, people would get suspicious. So James’s mother gave me this golden chain that was long enough to hide the ring down under my robes so no one would know I had it, but it meant that I was able to have it on me every day.


I always preferred to wear my rings around my neck like that. But I used my hands too much, that’s why.


Yes, well, it was such a relief when I could finally wear my ring! After school finished, on Platform 9 and ¾, James made a huge scene and ‘proposed’ to me there and gave me my ring.

Everyone thought we’d just gone mental and left it at that.


And when was the wedding?


August 15th, 1979. It was twenty months after we got engaged to begin with, thirteen since everyone found out.

My sister had gotten married only just before that, so my wedding had to overshadow hers.


And did it?


It most certainly did.

It was a mainly wizarding wedding, I didn’t really want too many muggle’s there, just in case of accidental magic. But it was still as muggle as possible. We didn’t wear robes. I wore a proper bridal gown; James and the boys wore muggle suits. I had my sister as maid of honour, my cousin as my flower girl and the girls from Gryffindor at Hogwarts Evangela, Amee, Jo, and Carissa were my bridesmaids, plus Harmony.


It must have been a wonderful day.


It was. The ceremony and reception were both held at James’s parents house; they had the room and it was somewhere both muggle’s and wizard’s could get to.


Did you have traditional music?


For some parts, yes. But when it came to the dancing we had the band play James and I’s song- ‘Dancing Away From Me’ by this wizarding band Boomslang. Mum thought it was too depressing, but the summer that we had gotten together it had been the song of the moment on the wizarding wireless and we used to listen to it all the time.


How does it go?


Here- I’ll copy out the lyrics for you…

Thoughts betray what words will never say
My every thought is lost in you

You are dancing away from me
You are dancing away from me

Holding you so close I can feel your heart beat
My heart beats in time

You are dancing away from me
You are dancing away from me

Clinging to my desperate dreams
Pushing away my darkest nightmares

You are dancing away from me
You are dancing away from me

Hoping for one tender kiss
Wanting one soft smile

You are dancing away from me
You are dancing away from me

Lying here lost in your arms
Your warmth surrounds me

You are dancing away from me
You are dancing away from me

I guess you have to hear the tune as well- it’s quite a beautiful song.


I can imagine.

What was your dress like?


My dress… it was a full skirt, or as Sirius nicknamed it ‘tulle-tastic’. It was sleeveless and I wore gloves. And across the middle there was a band with some flowers stitched in to it. The band was cream and the flowers were red. And the ribbons underneath the flowers were gold.


Sounds very nice, child.


It was-

Hold on for a moment Ena- I think Harry is awake-

[dumbleedore]

Authors Notes: This is probably the most boring part, but something does become important later on...

~*~

Sorry, false alarm.


Quite alright.

How is Harry? How old is he now?


Harry is now five and a bit months old. And he is gorgeous.


As all mothers think their children are.


Everyone says he is. Or at least everyone who has seen pictures of my nephew.


Tell me about your family, Lily.


My family… well, there isn’t much to say really.


I’m sure there is. You’d be surprised at how much there is to say when you think about it.


Well, it’s just me, mum and Petunia now. Dad died about a year ago now. Heart attack.


Oh, I am sorry Lily.


So am I. I never really got to know my dad. He was always at work when I was younger and mum would always tell me not to go near him after a bad day. Then I went to Hogwarts and before I realised I didn’t know him, his life was over.

Mum was heartbroken, of course. It was only when my sister had her baby that she started to come out of her shell. And then when I had Harry, she was almost back to normal.


How much older than you is your sister?


Petunia? About five years older. She met her husband Vernon when she worked for his company and they got married about three months before James and I. And they had their baby Dudley about two months before Harry was born.

Not that I would call Dudley a baby…


Why’s that, Lily?


He weighs about ten tonne and basically looks like a pig in a wig.


Oh dear.


Gets it from his father. Vernon is a very large man. Petunia is incredibly skinny- she always has been. She gets it from dad. I, on the other hand, inherited mum’s figure. Mum’s everything, really.

See, dad was tall, thin with blonde hair and mum is tall, thin but not skinny with dark red hair.


They sound like a striking pair.


They were. When they used to get all dressed up- oh, they looked so nice.


And what about James? What does he look like?


James? Well, he’s tall as well, although when I wear shoes with heels, I am taller than him, which, I give him hell about, of course. He’s as thin as I am and he has this black hair that is constantly messy. No matter what you do to it, it’s messy. It sticks up at the back, but it suits him. Oh, and he wears glasses too.


And what about your friends?


Gee, where to start…

You’re asking a lot of questions today, Ena. First the wedding, now this…


I am just curious, child. That is all.


Who should I start with then?


Sirius.


Ah, yes. Sirius Black. Trust him to make you most curious.

Sirius is also quite tall, but he’s a bit stockier than James. He has, I was about to say long black hair, but he cut it just before Christmas. He has this grin, this manic laughing grin that is just so infectious. You can’t help but smile when he smiles at you like that!!! He and James got into a lot of trouble at school, they enjoyed playing jokes on people.


I can just imagine the two of them.


Well, double what you imagine and then triple it for good measure.


Oh dear, that bad?


They were shocking. Hang on- were? Make that are!

Sirius bought himself a flying motorcycle. Well, he bought the motorcycle and made it fly.


I am not going to comment.


That was the path I took.

I don’t disapprove of it as much any more. If I did, I would be called a hypocrite. I flew on it on Christmas day.


And now you have to keep your opinion to yourself?


Exactly.


What about Remus?


Remus Lupin is a bit shorter than James and Sirius and I and he has light brown hair, going grey in some places. He is the most caring, thoughtful person, Remus. If you’re upset, he’s always there for you with a big bear hug. And he gives great hugs.


And the third friend of James- Peter wasn’t it?


Pete’s the shortest of us. He’s got brown hair and watery blue eyes. Whilst I’m close with all of James’s friends, I’ve, well, I’ve never really been that close to Pete. He’s always been, I dunno, real strange. I must sound horrible.


No. You’re just being honest.

So what about the girls?


Evangela, Amee, Jo, and Carissa all look the same.


Oh dear.


Well, they’re all pure-bloods and are all related. They’re all from the same line of wizards. Blonde hair and blue eyes is the family trait. Ev was a little bit different though- her hair was tinged with red, courtesy of her father.


And what about Harmony? She’s not related to them is she?


Oh no! Harmony is- well, Harmony is-

Harmony is what some would call an ‘exotic’ beauty. She’s got dark hair, olive skin and dark eyes.

No wonder Remus fell so hard for her…


Kinda like you and James, huh?


James fell hard for me. As you are well aware, I thought he was a slug until sixth year.

Oh, ****- Harry is really awake this time.

I’ve got to dash!


Alright Lily.


Bye Ena!!!

[dumbleedore]

Authors Notes: Sorry I didn't update last night. We had a blackout after some very bad storms... but this one is quite long...

~*~

Hey Ena!


Hello, Lily.

How are you today?


I’m fine.

How about yourself?


Same as always, can’t complain. It’s not exactly a rough life being a diary.


It must have gotten a lot rougher since Christmas, being my diary.


Certainly not, child! You are a delight to talk with!


I am? I thought I must be boring you to death by now.


Lily, you cannot bore me to death because I am already dead.


True. But you know what I mean.


Yes, I do. And it’s all nonsense- you are a delight to talk to.


Well, thank you Ena.


Don’t thank me, Lily- you started it.


Right- I did to.

Can I ask just one more question about the diary itself?


Of course dear!


Severus said in his letter when he sent it to me that if I write in the diary enough and pour enough of myself into it, the diary will become ‘mine’ in the sense that it is now ‘yours’ and it will be me speaking from the diary. But if the diary is created with the Cyryrius charm, then how can I take over the diary?


Oh dear, Severus seems to have his facts a little confused. The only way you could take over the diary is to cast another Cyryrius charm on top of mine.

All I can do is retain your memories.

There is another way, though.

Have you ever seen or used a Pensieve, Lily?


I’ve heard of them.


A Pensieve stores thoughts and memories so you may view them at leisure. The thought or memory you wish to place in the Pensieve is removed through a charm specific to each Pensieve.


I still don’t understand how this is another way to store memories in you.


I can give you a charm and you can use that to transfer some memories and thoughts into me.


But wait- won’t that remove them permantly?


Yes, it will.


I think I might stick with the written word- I don’t want to not be able to remember things.


I figured that is what you would say, Lily.


You always figure things out.


I know.


Maybe you could help me figure something out. Me and James and about fifty other people, actually.


I will try my best.


I’d better go back and finish explaining about Voldemort first.


I think I get the general gist of Voldemort. Evil guy, everyone wants him dead but his followers. Enjoys torturing people.


Er, yeah, that’s him in a nutshell.

Except he enjoys torturing muggle’s and muggle born’s.


I was going to add that.


Yes, well, you got him in a nutshell anyway.

Whilst I was at Hogwarts, Voldemort started to gather followers. He calls them ‘Death Eaters’. The Death Eaters go and do his biding; Voldemort just does the big stuff. Over the years, he and his Death Eaters have gotten stronger and stronger and we are now at war with them.

Except, unlike most wars where two sides fight, there is three.


Three?


There is Voldemort and the Death Eaters (sounds like a really bad band name, actually.). The Ministry of Magic is in complete disarray, fighting Voldemort occasionally, but mostly just fighting itself. It’s crumbling from within.

And then there is Dumbledore and his ‘army’.


Dumbledore’s Army?


Pretty much. The group is comprised of a close circle of witches and wizards whom Dumbledore trusts with his life.


And you and James are involved?


Yes. James, me, Remus, Sirius, Peter and Severus are all involved. I think it’s a lot bigger than what we know about, though.


And that’s where James was the other day- he was with Dumbledore.


Yes.


May I ask what James’s day job is?


He doesn’t have one. He went straight into Auror training when we left Hogwarts, but he got about halfway through and then he realised what idiots the Ministry are, so he quit the training and has been working under Dumbledore since. Same with all the others.


And does Dumbledore pay them?


Heavens no!


Then how-


James inherited some gold from an uncle, who died, and then his parents were killed by Voldemort a few months back and he inherited more gold.

Sirius got some gold from an uncle as well, and that’s what he and Remus live on. Peter still lives at home, so his parents pay his way and same with Severus.


Oh, alright then.

So, Dumbledore’s Army…


Basically Dumbledore’s Army consists of spies and strong magical people who can fight off the Death Eaters. Severus is a spy. I only discovered this a few months ago.


How did you discover that?


We got the call one night that the Death Eaters were trying to attack someone very high up in the Ministry. Voldemort himself was there as well. James and I went to help and I saw Severus. Voldemort was shrieking for Severus to kill me.


Heavens! He didn’t try, did he?


No. Gilderbert, an Auror, was there as well and he tackled Severus and got him down. I then fired a few hexes at Voldemort himself, before getting the hell out of there.


And you believe that Severus is just a spy?


He told me and so did Dumbledore. He was a Death Eater, but he, as Dumbledore put it, ‘saw the error of his ways’ and turned.


Very brave of him.


I know.

But Severus being a spy isn’t what I started to talk about.

Several months ago, just before Harry was born, Dumbledore was the receiver of a prophecy.


A prophecy?


Regarding Voldemort’s downfall. And this is what it said-

The one with the power to vanquish the Dark Lord approaches
Born to those who have thrice defied him
Born as the seventh month dies
And the Dark Lord will mark him as his equal
But he will have power the Dark Lord knows not
And either must die at the hand of the other
For neither can live while the other survives
The one with the power to vanquish the Dark Lord will be born as the seventh month dies

And it means Harry.


WHAT!


Well, maybe. Dumbledore deciphered the prophecy and there are two wizarding children to whom it could mean. One is Harry; the other is Frank and Alice Longbottom’s son, Neville. They are the only two children born at the end of the seventh month that have parents who have thrice defied Voldemort.

We understand that much. We don’t, however, understand ‘the Dark Lord will mark him as his equal’ and ‘he will have power the Dark Lord knows not’.


Hmm… that is curious… how could Voldemort mark a baby as his equal? And how will a child have power that he knows not?


Exactly our predicament. How can we protect these two children when no one quite knows what sort of danger they are in? And how can they defeat him when they aren’t quite a year old?


I don’t know Lily… I am sorry…


Don’t be.


I promise I will think about it, though.


Like all of us.

OH! And there is one more thing.

Voldemort knows of the prophecy. Except his information is, apparently, incomplete.


Severus told you?


Yes. Apparently he only knows the first three lines, so he doesn’t know that he will mark one as his equal, nor that they will have power that he knows not.


Well, that is one bit of positive news.


That’s exactly how I’ve been looking at it.


Keep positive child.


I will.


Goodbye then, Lily.


Wait- how did you know I was about to go?


I’m getting to know you quite well, child.


Well, goodbye then!

[dumbleedore]

Authors Notes: Two in one day? You lucky devils...

~*~

‘Dumbledore’s Army?’ Hermione asked, incredulously as Harry put the diary down and stared at her, a blank look on his face.

‘I’m getting a little bit scared- you and my mother seem to be one and the same,’ He said, his voice shaking slightly. ‘That is just- strange!’

‘What I find strange is there is no mention of the order,’ She said, frowning slightly. ‘There is the base of the order, but it’s not the order yet.’

‘Maybe it’s not the order yet. Maybe it’s just a group of people and Dumbledore forms the order later,’ Harry suggested, rubbing his eyes. Hermione checked her watch and gasped.

‘Harry, it’s one am!’ She exclaimed in alarm. ‘The teachers will be on patrol, we need to get into the tower!’

Harry hastily stowed the diary, the photo album and the music box back into the box Snape had given him and tucked it under his robes.

But before they had a chance to get to the door, it creaked open. Instinctively, Harry pushed Hermione behind him and pulled his wand out.

‘Harry!’ A bodiless voice hissed. ‘It’s Ginny!’
And to prove her point, she whipped off Harry’s invisibility cloak and stared at them. Harry lowered his wand, breathing hard.

‘I noticed you two weren’t back, so I got Ron to give me the cloak and the map,’ She said.

‘Why didn’t Ron come?’ Harry asked. Ginny giggled.

‘Well, er, he’s chasing pink elephants around Gryffindor tower,’ Ginny said. ‘Turns out there was more than one bottle of Firewhiskey.’

Harry stifled his own laugh at the look from Hermione.

‘So where are the teachers?’ Hermione asked Ginny who pulled out the map.

‘Right, well, McGonagall is on the main stairs, Mrs Norris is in the trophy room, Snape is down the potions corridor, Flitwick is in his classroom and Filch is roaming around. He’s outside Myrtle’s bathroom at the moment. I reckon if we take the tapestry shortcut to the sixth floor and take the back stairs from there and then through the portrait hall we’ll be safe.’

She rolled up the map and replaced it in her pocket and the three of them dove for the cloak.

They followed the route to Gryffindor tower that Ginny suggested, their only trouble being when Peeves came floating down the stairwell that they had been just about to take and they had an anxious few minutes waiting for him to get several floors down before they proceeded.

The fat lady was half asleep when they reached her and let them in without complaint. They pulled the cloak off once they were inside and Harry was immediately knocked over by Ron who was laughing insanely.

‘Haha Harry!’ Ron laughed, rolling off Harry and staring at the ceiling. ‘I had to get you! You were possessed by one of those pesky pink elephants!’

‘See?’ Ginny said, helping Harry to his feet and leaving Ron laying on the floor. ‘They are so lucky you guys don’t have classes until tomorrow afternoon.’

‘They?’ Harry asked and Ginny pointed to Dean and Seamus who were in the corner, wearing dresses.

‘Don’t ask,’ Ginny muttered. ‘I’m going to bed.’

She disappeared up the girls stairs. Hermione touched Harry on the shoulder, making him jump.
‘I’m going to bed too. We’ll finish reading tomorrow.’

Harry nodded, watching as she followed Ginny. Ron lay beside him on the floor, laughing. Harry ignored him and headed for the boys stairs. The seventh year dormitory was filled with the sounds of Neville’s snores as Harry changed into his pyjamas and stored the box in his trunk.

The moment he fell onto his bed he was fast asleep.

[dumbleedore]

Harry was first awake and dressed the following morning in the boys room. Ron had passed out just inside the door and it was with a twinge of guilt that Harry started to try and shift him into his bed. He should have gotten Ron upstairs the night before, but he’d had too much on his mind, he wasn’t really thinking.

After twenty minutes it became apparent that he wasn’t going to be able to get Ron onto his bed, so Harry left him where he had dragged him to, thinking that at least he was out of the doorway. He draped a blanket over him before heading down the spiral staircase, silently thankful that both Dean and Seamus had made it back into their own beds at some point.

And it wasn’t until he reached the common room and Hermione yawned a greeting at him that he realised that he had left the diary upstairs. So it was back up the stairs and jumping over Ron’s unconscious form and he dove into his trunk and extracted the diary from the box. He also grabbed his invisibility cloak and went to grab the map before he remembered that Ginny hadn’t given it back the night before.

‘I’ve got the map,’ Hermione said as he re-entered the common room, reading his mind. ‘We should be safe to get back to the same classroom if we take the same route.’

He threw the cloak over the two of them and they headed off, ignoring the fat lady’s questions of who was sneaking out and hurried downstairs and into the same classroom. Hermione performed a locking charm and they settled down in the seats they had vacated only hours before.

‘Good thing we don’t have classes this morning,’ Harry said, opening the diary to the place he marked.

‘Bad thing that the only class we have is potions,’ Hermione replied, smirking slightly. ‘How on earth are you going to be able to look Snape in the eyes?’

‘Don’t know, Hermione… don’t know…’

[dumbleedore]

Authors Notes: Only a short one tonight...

~*~

Ena?


Yes, Lily?


What do you advise for the flu?


The flu?


Yes. James has come down with it and I’ve tried everything I can think of!


Have you tried chicken soup?


Chicken soup. Right, I’ll give it a go.

Thanks Ena!


No problem, Lily. No problem at all.

[dumbleedore]

Well, the soup worked!


Fantastic!


Except before it worked, James passed it on to me.


Oh, poor child!


So I’ve been in bed for three days now and I am so sick and tired of it!


Have you had some soup?

Yes. I’ve been eating it non stop and it’s not working for me. Bloody James! Giving me his germs!


I’m assuming you’re not particularly liking James at the moment.


Nope. And he’s a hopeless nurse as well.


Most men are child.


I’ve gathered.

Oh, and that’s not all.

I wrote to Severus as well.


YOU DID WHAT!


I wrote to Severus.

James was getting better and I was getting sick and James was being moody and it really made me miss Severus, so I wrote to him.


And what did you say?


Well, I apologised for the last letter I sent. It has been over a month. I sent it at new years and it’s now February. I just really missed him.


Was it a wise idea to write to him, Lily?


What do you mean?


Well, you stopped writing to him because you felt that you were betraying James…


I know what you are getting at, Rowena Ravenclaw. I know you are going to start implying that there is something more than friendship between Severus and I-


But Lily-


No buts, Ena. We have dissected this already. Severus is my friend, regardless of certain unrequited feelings that I may have. I am married to James, I love him with all my heart and soul and that is that.


So why did you write to him?


Because he is, first and foremost, my friend. Or, as you put it, my soul mate. There never was and never will be anything more than that between us.


Lily, I know you probably will get angry when I ask this.


Then why ask?


Because I have to.

If James died or was seriously injured so that he wouldn’t recognise you or Harry, would anything happen then between you and Severus?


No. If James died, my first priority would be Harry. And if he was that seriously injured, he’s still my husband and I would stand beside him until the day that he did die.


Very well.


And I know that nothing would ever happen between me and Severus because as I said above, these feelings that I may have are-


Unrequited. I know.


Why am I getting the feeling that you don’t believe me?


Because I don’t, Lily.


And I don’t really want to hear what you have to say.


That’s fine. I shall keep it to myself.

I am getting the feeling that Severus being your friend wasn’t the only reason you decided to end the silence?


Well, I don’t know what this year holds for me, Ena. Everything is so upside down and inside out that I could end up dead tomorrow. And if I did, I would never have made up with Severus and that would make him sad.


Well, let me know if he writes back.


Of course I will Ena!


And get well soon.


I will.

Goodnight, Ena.


Goodnight, Lily.

[dumbleedore]

Oh! Ena, I just re-read what I last wrote and I have to apologise for snapping at you! Oh, I sounded horrible!


Lily, you didn’t snap at me. You’re under a lot of stress at the moment and you are sick as well.


Correction- was sick.


Oh, feeling better are we?


Much. I got out of bed today and-

Let me go back to the start of the day…


I take it a lot happened?


A lot more than usual.

First, I feel well enough to get out of bed and wander the house. I’ve stopped coughing like a seal and I’ve got my voice back as well.


Very good child. Was it the soup?


The soup helped a little in the end. I just had to let it runs it’s course.

Then, I get Severus’s reply!


He wrote back!


Yes! It was a very short letter, basically saying he’s glad that I’m talking to him again.

And then- well, first James and I had a bit of a talk.


A talk?


Yes. We’ve been snapping at each other a bit lately and we basically apologised for that.


I get the impression you are being vague, Lily.


Good, because I don’t want to go into details.


Alright then.


So after James and I talked, Severus’s letter came.


Did James see this?


No. He went to get the newspaper. He was just coming back in when I picked Harry up and-

Harry said his first word!


Oh, Lily! That is fantastic!


I know!


What did he say?


He said ‘mum’! He knows who I am!

So, of course, James and I whip out the camera. We have about two hundred photo’s of Harry from this morning alone. And James has spent the rest of the day trying to get Harry to say ‘dad’, but he keeps just chanting ‘mum’. James is going quite mental about it.


I imagine he would be.

Child, why don’t you close me for tonight and go and spend it with James and Harry? It’s not every day your child starts to talk.


Oh, alright then.

Goodnight, Ena!


Goodnight, Lily.

[dumbleedore]

Hello, Ena.


Hello, Lily.

What has James done this time?


How on earth could you figure that out from me just saying hello?


You seem to loop your writing a bit more when you are annoyed about something.


Oh. I didn’t know I did that.


Well, now you do.

So what did he do?


Oh, it’s nothing. Honestly.


No, it’s not nothing. He has annoyed you in some way.


He was cleaning today.


And this annoyed you because…


He threw out the shoebox I’d been storing Severus’s letters in.


Oh no.


It’s alright; he wouldn’t have been able to read them. I charmed them so that to anyone but myself they would look like notes I’ve written to myself. And he’s thought they weren’t important so he got rid of them.


Well, if he’s just thrown it out, grab it from the rubbish.


Oh no, it wasn’t thrown into the rubbish. He was throwing the rubbish into the fire.


Oh, Lily… I am terribly sorry.


I just hate the fact that I can’t tell him why I am so annoyed about him throwing out my notes. He thinks I was just reminding myself of things and I’ve kept them for some reason.

But they’re all gone. Every last one.


Well at least there is no danger of James working out they were charmed and reading them.


True.

Oh Ena, what if he already figured out they were charmed?


Is he acting any different?


Yes. He’s acting very ashamed and keeping well away from me.


Then it appears that he is just remorseful over burning something that belonged to you without checking first.


You think?


I think.


Well that’s half of a relief.


Half?


It’s just-

Peter hasn’t been around much lately. And when he is, he’s incredibly agitated and can’t stand to be around us much.

I think he might be a Death Eater.


Lily, that is a very serious allegation.


I know. And I wish I wasn’t thinking this way but-

James was in London today and he went to the Ministry, deciding to call upon Peter, cause Peter was telling us how busy he was at work and everything like that.

But Pete wasn’t there. Pete hasn’t been to work in over a month. James has called in several other times and they just have been saying that he isn’t in, but they were quite snappy with James today and told him that Pete hasn’t turned up for a month.


Oh dear.


I was thinking of writing to Severus and seeing if he has seen Peter.


Sounds like a very wise idea, child.


I think I might do that now- put my mind at ease.

Goodnight, Ena.


Goodnight, Lily.

[dumbleedore]

Still no word on whether or not Peter is hanging around my friends. Nobody seems to remember him.


I take it Severus wrote back?


Twice. I think he’s realised that I was a bit worried so he took it upon himself to doubly re-assure me.


And are you re-assured?


Yes and no.


And no?


He also said Dumbledore is going to come and talk to Ja-

Forget going to come. He’s here.