Mistakes We Knew We Were Making: Complete

[dumbleedore]

This is just a short, 4 part story from Peter's PoV. The song is the one in my sig- 'Mistakes We Knew We Were Making' by Straylight Run.

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The regret covers my body, an almost aura like covering of my soul. I cannot breathe, I cannot think, I cannot see anything but what I have done.

I betrayed them.

The fire has flickered out- how the fire happened, I do not know. I watched from here, well hidden. Nobody knew I was there. Not even my master.

Oh master, I don’t think you survived the fire, yet I am terrified to go any closer. You will know me, if you do not already sense my presence. I didn’t know that was going to happen- master, I hope you forgive me.

The muggles have not noticed yet. It is too late at night- they will not notice until the morning. By then I will be far away.

Prongs- I wish it didn’t have to end this way… I edge my way closer to the still smouldering house. His body is just inside what was the front door, unharmed. Oh Prongs, even in death you look regal, stag like. I hope one day you will be able to forgive me… I do not know how…

Sweet baby Harry, if only you knew know how important you are. You survived the curse and the fire. Your mother… Lily, I do not know what I can say to you… Lily, please, one day, forgive me…

I feel the dog’s presence before I see him- Padfoot always had a presence. My spine tingles and my blood runs cold.

There is still one who knows the truth.

I scurry away, not wanting to be seen. The dog morphs into a man, a man who falls to his knees beside the prone body of his best friend.

There is still one who knows the truth.

The dog is back- he is sniffing. He is sniffing me out. I panic and race away into the woods- he cannot find me. I must remain hidden. They will blame him.

[dumbleedore]

This might get a bit confusing. I apologise now

I do not know how far I have run. It is daylight, and I am in a city. The dog is behind me, he has kept up all night. He only left once- but returned soon after.

Ahead of me is a bridge. The dog has forgotten one thing- how well I know him. He will want to cause a scene. Oh Padfoot, oh Sirius my friend, how I wish I could say you know me.

I hide in the bushes and make my transformation. My mind clears, my thoughts become human. The dog has done the same. His black eyes are boring into me.

You must be prepared, Wormtail. You must know what to do.

Oh Sirius, if only you knew the extent of the Dark Lord’s powers. I knew this would happen. I wish it didn’t have to happen this way. But my master- he knows all. He knows this is the price I need to pay- whilst I helped him find them, he is punishing me at the same time. I must take the punishment. My master will come for me. My master promised me.

‘Peter!’

I take a deep breath… Sirius, my friend, forgive me…

‘LILY AND JAMES, SIRIUS! HOW COULD YOU!’

The muggles are turning around… I need more noise…

‘WE TRUSTED YOU! I THOUGHT YOU WERE OUR FRIEND!’

More muggles are turning…

‘LILY AND JAMES!!! HOW COULD YOU BETRAY THEM TO HIM!!! DIDN’T YOU EVER THINK ABOUT POOR HARRY?’

He is reaching for his wand… I pull my own wand up into my sleeve… this will hurt… but it is pain for my master…

I hear the sound of my finger hitting the ground before I feel the pain. Sirius is advancing… I am so sorry, my old friend…

Holding my wand out behind me I crack the bridge. It begins to buckle quicker than I expected… in a flash I return to the rat. The rat is always waiting.

I scurry away, trying to block the sound of the muggles screaming and the insane laughter of the murderous betrayer, Sirius Black.

[dumbleedore]

The dog has returned. The dog has told the cat.

My whole body tenses as I sense the dog. He is very near. I have to escape, he cannot find me… he would kill me… but the boy, he is holding me too tightly. I sink my teeth into his hand- Ronald, forgive me. You will not understand.

I dart away as quickly as I can. My limbs wear out a lot easier these days… I am gracelessly aging. I knew this day would come. It was a matter of when, not why.

The boy catches me again- I could not outrun him. The dog is even closer. I try to escape, but he holds me tighter. If I was human, I would be screaming. Instead, the best I can do is squeak, which draws the dog even closer.

I am almost dropped as the dog grabs hold of Ronald’s leg… my poor master… he does not deserve this because of me… he is screaming, begging the dog for release. There are others following- dear sweet Harry, if only you knew how close I had been all these years. I try and fight my way out of Ronald’s grip, but he doesn’t want to let me go…

I don’t want him to reveal me… I know why he escaped Azkaban… I might just be a simple rat, but I can still understand… he is not after the boy… he is after me…

I know where we are. I have been here before. It still smells the same. Prong’s scent is still here… the many nights we spent in this shack… oh how I miss the old days…

They are all talking, my ears struggle to hear- the echo is too great for this poor rats ears…

Remus! Oh, Remus, you’re here! You’ll stop this madness! You’ll protect me… Remus… my old friend… what are you doing? No… no don’t come for the poor boys innocent rat! No… Remus, what are you doing!!!

‘Well, hello, Peter. Long time, no see.’

The door is too far away… I must face my old friends.

[dumbleedore]

I was chained for twelve years because of them… I am now chained to them…

They are taking me to the castle… to face the Dementors. Sirius will be freed and I- I will be…

The ground are empty- oh, so many times we came running across these grounds, towards the willow, under James’s cloak. I was always the first to transform- I always did so under the cloak and darted out to freeze the tree. Sirius would transform next and run into the willow first. James was last, of course. He would retreat into the bushes next to the tree and bury the cloak until morning. Instead of a tall, black haired boy, a regal Stag would emerge and squeeze into the willow. So many nights like this- so many nights exactly like this…

The moon is full… Remus! No- this cannot be happening! The chains are broken- it is only the boy! Sweet Ronald, I do not wish to hurt you, however I have no choice. The spell makes a louder noise than I had hoped for- forgive me Ronald. The cat is next- I feel no remorse for attacking it. He knew who I was, I had to do it.

‘Expelliarmus! Stay where you are!’

Harry… so much like your father… but my dear boy, you are forgetting one thing… I transform back into the rat, feeling comfortable at last. I scurry over Ron’s hand- the poor boy will be heart broken. I can hear the wolf and the dog- the dog will not yet know I am gone. I must hurry.

This is my chance. I must find my master. He is expecting me.

And all our sins come back to haunt us in the end
To hang around and tap us on the shoulder
And smile
Silent
It's all implied
"You'll die trying to live this down. You might as well forget it."