The Marauder Chronicles

[dumbleedore]

Authors Notes: Well, my muse seems to be back and it's allowed me to finish (sorta) this fic that I've been working on for a while.

The one problem is that it's a very confusing fic in terms of how it's written, which is why I have this handy key...

Text in Italics is Moony

Underlined is Wormtail

Bold is Prongs

Plain is Padfoot

A combination means more than 1 character is speaking. Anything that is red with a combination means Padfoot is speaking too.

So you got that? Once you get into the swing of it you'll know straight away who's talking.

I hope you enjoy it

And I did want this to be a 2 post thing but the silly post merging thing merged it, so it's all one very confusing post...

~*~

~*~

The Marauder Chronicles.

Moony- surely you can think of a better title!

Yeah, Moony, it makes us sound like we’re in a history book or something.

I like it.

Thank you Pete. If they’ve quite finished, I’ll explain how the spell works.

You expect us to shut up?

Yes.

So what is this spell?

It’s a dictation spell- everything we say gets written down in this notebook.

You mean everything!!!

Take that look off your face. I thought this was easier than each of us trying to write stuff down.

So where do we start?

At the start, der. Where else do you start Prongs?

At the end.

Honestly.

Why not the day we met- on the train.

Oh! I remember this!

I want to name the chapter!

Fine.

Chapter One: Trouble Personified.

Prongs using big words- very bad.

Very scary.

Ditto.

Padfoot staying tuned in for longer than five seconds- very bad.

I’m going to warn you once, don’t tease the attention span!

Guys- let’s get back to what we’re doing!

Right. What were we doing?

PADFOOT!

Sorry- I couldn’t resist!

Who’s going to start?

I will. Meeting on the train… Prongs and I already kinda knew each other.

Dad had warned me to ‘stay away from that Black boy’.

I didn’t know your dad was racist, Prongs.

Oh haha Sirius. Very witty.

I thought so. So, we’re on the train and James disobeys Mr Potter and starts hanging around ‘that Black boy’.

Of course, dad only warned me because he hates Sirius’s dad. What was it he called him the other day?

A Neanderthal who wouldn’t know ‘white’ magic if it bit him on the backside.

That was the one.

It sounded better once I chimed in that he also smells bad.

Trust you.

Hey- c’mon, the mans an evil toerag who deserves everything he gets!

Can we just get back to the train?

Right you are Pete. So, Prongs and I are riding together in a compartment- Pete, that is so not funny so shut your mouth right now- and then this blonde kid who looked terrified came in and asked if he could sit with us.

Enter Peter into our lives.

And then about five minutes later, Remus followed.

And that was the day that we-

First got Snape.

Oh, the memories! Snape getting off the train, not knowing his underpants were visible from behind!

You know, I still don’t think he knows.

I think Lily told him.

Pfft- she was such a spoilsport.

This is going to be the problem Moony- James isn’t going to tell the truth as much cause he won’t wanna insult Lily.

Hey- I just called her a spoilsport!

You know, I never understood why you attacked Snape to begin with.

He deserved it. He called Dad a ‘mudblood loving freak’.

I would like to take this opportunity to let anyone reading this know they were talking about James’ dad.

Yeah well, he’s as good as my dad now, despite the fact he wanted James to stay away.

But back to the train and getting Snape.

Memories… such wonderful things… and they’re even better when they consist of Snape showing off his fluoro pink boxers to the entire school at his sorting. And no one thought to tell him why they were laughing!

Except possibly Lily later on, but we don’t know.

Prongs, you have to ask whether she did.

No way! She’d murder me! You know she hates what we do to Snivellius!

True.

Well- I think this is enough for chapter one- you do realise what time it is?

Pfft- tis early Moony!!!

For you and Prongs maybe- for me it’s bedtime.

Same here. G’night!

Night guys!

Right… now they’re gone…

I’ve already got the cloak.

Excellent.

[dumbleedore]

I reread the end of chapter one last night- what did you two get up to?

Absolutely nothing.

Except for a small incident in the kitchen.

Honestly- the cake already said ‘Snape is a Git’.

All we did is send it to the Slytherin common room!

When are you on detention?

Padfoot here managed to escape. I, however, can’t go to Hogsmeade on Saturday.

But don’t you have a date with Lily on Saturday?

I’ve got the cloak and the map- I’ll be there. Trust me.

Your funeral.

Thanks for your support.

Anyway- let’s do another chapter.

Chapter Two: The Map Makers

Isn’t it too early for the map? That was 5th year- we’re still only first years.

I just thought it would flow on from what you were talking about. It doesn’t matter then.

How about Chapter Two: Early Days.

Sounds fine to me.

Let’s start with our first day.

And first detention.

You know- I believe that is a record, you know. First years getting detention on the first day.

We wanted to begin our time here with a bang.

And it didn’t really bother us that that bang was Snape’s cauldron exploding in our first ever Potion’s lesson.

And what made it better was that he was brewing the wrong potion and it made him grow horns.

Oh, I am never going to forget all those ‘Horny Snape’ jokes.

What did you have to do on that detention anyway? You’ve never said.

We had to scrub the 2nd floor bathroom. No magic.

No wonder you avoid that place like the plague.

Now- if my memory serves me correctly, you got detention second day as well. Am I right?

Yes. This wasn’t us- we swear.

I would swear it on my mother grave- we would never do this.

Everyone thinks it was you but.

We are only too happy to take the credit- we just want to make it known that we did not fill Filch’s office with popcorn.

Do you know who did?

Um…

Ok, ok- we did it. We didn’t mean for it to get that filled but! We only wanted the floor covered!

Yeah- and why was McG going back to Filch’s office with him anyway.

Don’t go there!

For the life of Merlin, don’t make us imagine Filch and McG in Filch’s office alone…

It almost makes me want the thoughts of McG and Dumbledore again.

PETE!!!

Sorry.

So where were we?

I have no idea- all I can think of is Dumbledore and McG waltzing…

Let’s just leave it here…

[dumbleedore]

Ok- let’s get some of this done before we go to Hogsmeade.

Wait- where’s Prongs?

He was right behind me.

Hey- there’s Lily.

Does she know James isn’t meant to be going into Hogsmeade?

No. James wouldn’t tell her- he’s meant to be Head Boy and he’s been banned.

I think it’s hilarious.

You always do.

Hey- I think Prongs has left already.

What makes you say that?

JESUS!!! James don’t do that!

Sorry!

Where are you?

Under the cloak. I’ve been here all along. I’m going- got to run if I wanna get through the passage and into Hogsmeade before I have to meet Lily.

I still think this is a bad idea.

Since when have you been all morals Padfoot? You’d be coming with me if you’d gotten detention as well.

Yes, but at least then you could blame it all on me.

Come with me then.

Fine.

No- Sirius, don’t be ridiculous. Don’t get under- alright, get under the cloak. Get in trouble. See if I care.

Glad you’re taking that attitude Moony my friend. We’ll see you there.

Honestly.

Have they actually gone?

The portrait hole just closed, I think they have.

WRONG!!!

Would you just go already!!!

I think they’ve gone.

Finally.

Let’s go too- surely Filch is ready to let us all out.

He probably isn’t, but it’s worth a try.

[dumbleedore]

We need to get serious about this book guys.

We know, we know.

We want it to be a lasting monument, not just a lot of drabble.

But Moony- drabble is fun. This way they’re getting to know the real us.

Yeah- Moony, Wormtail, Padfoot and Prongs- The Real Deal.

Um, speaking of Wormtail, where is he?

Remedial Potions, remember? He does that every Sunday night.

Oh yeah.

See what I meant when we first start about the attention span?

I’m warning you Prongs… don’t make me come over there!

Aw, come on! You know you want to!

I would if Moony would let go of my shirt!!!

Moony, let him go! I wanna see him give it his best try!

No fighting guys!!!

Fine.

Can I let you go now?

Yes.

Good dog.

So what are we going to tell the book tonight?

How about our third Snape prank?

Oh yeah.

You know, it only just occurred to me how much you two talk about Snape.

He’s a slime ball.

Yeah.

Still it doesn’t explain why he’s your only thought…

He’s not my only thought!

Well, aside from Lily and Quidditch.

Hey- I don’t think about Lily!

Honestly.

Well, what do you think about Moony?

Me? I think- no, worry- about what you lot are going to do next and the big exams coming up known as NEWT’s.

Pfft- if the NEWT’s are as hard as the OWL’s then I’ll spend a lot of time sleeping.

You really should try studying Padfoot.

Why? I got 12 OWL’s. So did James.

Yeah Moony- we don’t need to study.

You could do your homework at least.

It’s done!

Two steps ahead of you!

I don’t know why I bother.

Stupid remedial potions. Snape can go bite my backside. ‘Can’t even stand a cauldron upright’. He can’t talk he’s there as well.

You alright Pete?

Huh? Oh, yeah, fine.

Snape again?

Don’t worry- we’ll get him.

No- Sirius, don’t be so rash- I’m used to it.

But it’s about time it stopped. You’re not best friends with the Head Boy for nothing- is he James?

Huh? Oh, no, Pete. I’ll do something about it.

You don’t have to…

I’ve had enough of Snape. It’s time we ended this once and for all.

James, don’t do anything rash.

Rash? Oh no, this requires thought.

[dumbleedore]

So what lesson did you learn?

Think before I do something.

And why did you learn this?

Really, Moony, I don’t see why this has to be recorded in the book.

So that next time I have to lecture you I can just give you the book. Why did you learn to think before you do something?

Because I almost became the first Head Boy in Hogwart’s history to become demoted.

And why was that?

Because I punched Snape in front of McG.

And why did you punch him?

Moony-

Answer the question.

I punched him because he called Lily and Peter Mudbloods. He also called Peter ‘the sorriest excuse for a wizard he’d ever seen’.

And what did McG say?

That I was the sorriest excuse for a Head Boy that she had ever seen and that I should be ashamed.

And?

And that she knew I snuck into Hogsmeade and I’m now banned for the rest of my time at Hogwarts for setting and bad example.

And?

She made Sirius captain of the Gryffindor team for the rest of the year.

So- what did we learn?

To think before I do something.

~*~

Poor old James, he's a little on the rash side . Alright that's todays update done- anyone got any idea how to fix torn hemlines?! I need to have my work pants fixed by 11am and it's 10:01am...

[dumbleedore]

Wow- Moony really pushed the issue.

I just wish I could’ve done more to the slime ball aside from breaking his jaw.

Did it fully break?

He had to spend the night in the hospital wing waiting for the healing potion to take effect.

Just be lucky you didn’t get detention.

What I got is worse.

Not for me.

Yeah, well, I thought that was totally uncalled for. What can be gained by making you captain!

Ah, come on Prongs- everyone on the team knows that me being captain is strictly ceremonial- you always have and always will be the captain.

There’s a but coming, isn’t there?

No but for once.

Hate to interrupt- but what’s the time?

You’ve got a watch Pete! It’s nearly midnight.

What time did Moony say to leave?

The normal- once everyone’s in bed. And keep your voice down- Lily is over there and she’d murder me.

Has she started talking to you since the Snape incident.

Erm. She told me she’s not angry, but that’s all she’s said.

Take her flowers and chocolate and she’ll be fine.

Geez Pete, when did you become such a knowing person in terms of getting a females forgiveness?

It's common sense Sirius.

Yeah but Sirius has never had any sense.

Hey! Lay off me!

Yeah but it's the truth and you know it.

Oh, shut up.

Make me.

Sirius! Get off James! C'mon guys!

C'mon yourself Pete! Just mucking around!

Yes but look- everyone seems to be going to bed early!

Hey Jamsie, do you think you could get Lily into bed early too?

First don't call me Jamsie. Second, remember she's not talking to me. Third, I think she's sitting up to see what we're up too.

So you mean that we might not make it out?

Well, maybe…

James why didn't you say before you thought she was sitting up to watch us?!

Because I didn't!

Why don't we just pretend we're going to bed and sneak back down in the cloak.

Great idea Pete- just one problem. She'll notice the portrait hole open.

Well have you got a better idea?

Sleeping charm?

NO!

Leave James behind to talk to her whilst we sneak out and then James can follow later?

Maybe James should just stay behind…

WHAT?

Could you just imagine if I was somehow caught? McG would lose all her hair and I'd be expelled.

James we've never been caught before.

What's to say we won't be tonight? Besides, I reckon Lily is watching us on McG's orders. So you guys go ahead, take the cloak. I'll stay in.

Moony will be so ******.

Yeah well, Moony can deal. Have a great night.

James…

Go Pete! Moony'll be more ****** if none of us turn up!

Well, night then James.

Night guys. Be safe!

~*~

Just a note to say that updates might be scarce in the lead up to Christmas. I don't have my roster for work yet but I'm going to be on nights I think *tries to remember which line she's on* and I have to spend a lot of time at work studying so I'll update when I can.

[dumbleedore]

Ok, James, I've read last nights 'entry' and I'm not ****** that you didn't come.

I'm glad.

How did you know McG would catch them out?

I don't know- I just suddenly thought she would.

Shall we go loiter outside her office and see if she's still yelling?

No way... I don't want to be near that office again. Believe me, it's not pretty at 4am when McG has woken you up to demand to know where everyone is.

Thank god your brain doesn't function at 4am and you could play incredibly dumb.

Yeah, but I'm worried now that Pete will let something slip without meaning too.

So am I but I'm sure Padfoot will talk over the top of him and he'll have a good enough lie thought up.

Knowing Sirius he'll probably try and claim he was out picking flowers to bring to McG.

Let's hope that McG just doesn't connect them with me.

Well here comes Peter so we'll find out.

How'd it go Peter?

Detention for a month for me. She's still yelling at Sirius. Oh, it was horrible.

So what exactly happened? After McG somehow found out you two weren't in bed?

We were in the forest and Sirius smelt someone coming and sent me to have a look. I saw it was McG and raced back to tell them. Moony fled back to the shack and Sirius and I became human again and she found us and started yelling. Then she dragged us into her office where you were waiting and yelled, then sent us to bed.

Any idea how she knew we weren't in our beds?

She wouldn't say- I asked.

Do you think... well, do you think maybe Lily?

No way. Lily would never.

She's the only suspect James.

I know- but she wouldn't!

Ask her.

I will... uh-oh, here comes Sirius and he looks... happy?

Well?

I got her to laugh.

And your punishment?

Detention every lunchtime for as long as I'm still at Hogwarts.

So why do you look so happy and how did you get her to laugh?

I managed to, in the end, convince her that Pete and I were actually picking her a bunch of flowers and couldn't do it at any other time.

I told you! Didn't I tell you!

Huh?

Read up the page a bit.

Oh, very smart Jamsie.

Don't call me Jamsie!

[i]Sirius, James, stop this fight... c'mon, we've got some study to do.[/]

Do we have to?

Yes.