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Lily's Lost Journals



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Old August 6th, 2006, 12:23 am
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Lily's Lost Journals

This is my first ever fan fiction. I've looked through the treads, but didn't see anything that was written as Lily's diary.

Synopsis: On a search of an attic for valuable information for the Order, one Order member uncovers Lily's diaries.

Disclaimer: I don't own the characters. All characters in the Harry Potter world belong to J.K. Rowling. I've just borrowed her characters and tried to bring my own life to them. All mistakes in the characters are mine.

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Lily's Lost Journals

Chapter 1
The attic. As she climbed up the creaky old stairs to the top part of the house, she pondered what it was that she would find there. She stepped over the threshold and gazed upon the dust covered trunks, furniture, boxes of what had at one time held important things. Seeing the mess, she realized that the attic hadn’t been cleaned out in years, perhaps even in centuries. She could be done with the job in a matter of seconds with a wave of her wand, but no, she wanted to sort through each little piece and see if she could find anything that was remotely interesting. She decided to start in the far corner where there was a pile of trunks that looked old and interesting.

Moving carefully among the clutter, she made her was to that corner. Not afraid to use magic to clear away the dust and make the air breathable, she muttered a quick cleaning spell and the dust and cobwebs vanished. Settling down on the floor, she tried to open the first trunk. It wouldn’t budge. Sighing, she realized that magic would have to come into play if she were to get anywhere. With a flick of her wrist, she muttered, “Alohomora.” The trunk’s lid sprang open with a snap and banged against the piles behind it.

Gazing inside, she found sets of old robes and school things. Lifting up the first garment, she was amazed at the quality of the work. “Focus Hermione,” she muttered to herself. “Remember the mission. You’re here to look for anything useful to the Order. And remember too that you can’t use magic unless you have to. He’s less likely to find you and be able to trace it.”

Knowing that it would be hard to keep her focus, she returned her gaze to the contents of the trunk. After quickly surveying the remainder of the items, she decided that the old clothes and school things were not at useful for the Order. Moving the trunk aside, she started on the next one. On and on she went, sorting through the trunks, setting aside items that may be useful, discarding the rest. After working steadily for several hours, she came upon some books.

The books were old, obviously, as were most things in the attic. Hermione gently lifted the first tome from the trunk. Brushing the dust off of the cover, she studied the book. It was not like any sort of spell book or other magical book she’d ever seen. In fact, it didn’t look magical at all. It was a small leather bound book, the type that could be found in any Muggle stationary store. She recognized it as a type of journal. But whose journal could it be? Looking past the volume held in her hands into the trunk, she realized that the entire trunk was filled with these journals. What a treasure trove! Perhaps by reading the journals, written by some unknown person, she’d find something useful for the Order. Settling back against the wall, she conjured up a couple of cushions to make herself comfortable and opened the journal she held in her hands.

“This diary is the property of Lillian Michelle Evans, age 8,” was written in a childish scrawl across the first page.

Hermione gasped. She’d never in her wildest dreams expected to come across a diary belonging to Harry’s mum. She knew that Harry had no idea of its existence otherwise he’d have read them long ago. There had to be at least a dozen of diaries in this trunk! All belonged to Lily. Hermione’s mind was swirling with questions that she longed to know the answers to. How did a trunk full of Lily’s journals survive the destruction of the house in Godric’s Hollow? Why weren’t they given to Harry years ago? Did anyone even know of their existence? All Hermione knew was that she had to read them. They belonged to Harry and if there was something, some piece of information, no matter how small, in them, then she had to find out. Anything to help Harry.

Settling back against the cushions, she began to read Lily’s life story in her own words.


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  #2  
Old August 6th, 2006, 3:56 pm
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Re: Lily's Lost Journals

Chapter 2
March 27, 1968

Today’s my birthday! Yay! Daddy gave me this so that I can write down my thoughts and feelings. That’s good cause I can tell all about how my birthday party and how my sister is so great.

First my party. Mumma let me have 6 friends over. We had cake and chocolate ice cream. And I got presents. I love getting presents. My best friend Julie gave me a pretty purple t-shirt and purple hair ribbons that match it. I love purple.

Petunia says that redheads don’t look good in purple, something about it being the wrong color for our skin tones or something like that. I ignored her. I think that to be nice, I’m going to share my shirt with her. She can borrow it. We’re both almost the same size. She’s just 10. I love my older sister. Outside of Julie, she’s my best friend. When I grow up, I want to be as pretty as she is. She’s so pretty. I’d trade my red hair and green eyes for her dark hair and dark eyes any day. I think I was adopted. Casey was adopted. Her mum and dad are always telling her that because they couldn’t have kids, that they got to pick the very best. Petunia looks like Mum. But I don’t look like either Mum or Dad. Daddy says that children always look like their parents, but that I look like some exotic queen. Then he showed me a picture of his great-grandma. She’s beautiful too. As I looked closely at the brown and white photograph, Daddy’s great-grandma winked at me! I tried to tell Daddy, but he just laughed and said I’m imagining things. No I’m not! I know what I saw.

Hmmmm, I’m not talking about my party anymore am I? Well that’s ok. Back to my party. Julie was there, obviously. So was Casey. And Sarah. And Jane. And Emily. And Hannah. We played this game called “Pin-the-tail-on the Donkey.” Hannah won it. She got her donkey’s tail pinned in the exact spot. Mine landed on the opposite wall. It was very funny. After the game, it was time for me to open my presents. Julie gave me the purple shirt and hair ribbons. Casey gave me a stuffed frog. He’s so cute. I think I’ll name him Ribbitt. Sarah gave me a new book. It the latest Nancy Drew book and I think that Petunia’s more excited about that than I am. Jane gave me crayons and a coloring book. Emily gave me a game called Monopoly. This looks fun. Maybe Petunia and I can play it tomorrow. Hannah gave me a green blanket. Her mum made it for me, but Hannah pointed out that she helped. She got to make a few of the stitches. It’s so soft. And in a shade of green that match my eyes. Mumma gave me my own case of makeup! Now I won’t have to borrow hers anymore. Of course there’s only eyeshadow and lipstick and nail polish, but that’s all I ever use anyway when I am allowed to play in Mum’s makeup drawer. Petunia gave me a picture of me and her playing in the park. I love it! It will go on the table beside my bed. And of course Daddy gave me this diary. After presents, it was time for cake and ice cream. Yummy! All chocolate of course. Then my friends had to go home. I wanted a sleep over, but Mumma said no not this time.

Well, now I have to go to bed before Daddy comes up and gets mad that I’m still up. Tomorrow is a school day and I can’t wait to tell my teacher, Mrs. Creagle all about my birthday party!

Always, Lily


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Old August 6th, 2006, 9:32 pm
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Re: Lily's Lost Journals

Hermione had to smile as she read the words that 8 year old Lily had written. Such life, such innocence. Too bad that that was lost and her life was cut so tragically short. Hermione had a hard time picturing the girl Petunia that Lily had so lovingly painted with her childish words. According to Harry, his aunt hated his mother. Hermione had to wonder what had caused the rift between the two sisters. At the ages of 8 and 10, Lily and Petunia seemed to be very close.

Reading Lily’s diaries were supposed to help her understand the woman who was Harry’s mother, yet after just the first entry Hermione had more questions than answers. How would Harry relate to the child that his mother used to be? What about her adoration of her sister, a woman who had mistreated Harry his entire life? How would he be able to reconcile those differences? What happened between the sisters to cause the deep abiding hatred that Petunia felt? Hermione had to believe that it was more than just jealousy. Jealousy over looks, Lily’s abilities, and yes, jealousy even over James. Gazing at the book she held in her lap, Hermione realized that it might, just might, contain answers to those questions as well as so much more. Focusing her thoughts back to the task at hand, Hermione turned to the next entry, dated about a month after the first and continued reading Lily’s story.

April 30, 1968

Yesterday was so much fun. Me and Petunia went to the park and played for the afternoon. Just the two of us. We sat on the swings and talked. About what we want to do when we grow up. Petunia said that she wanted to go to America. See New York and all the shopping there. She said that America isn’t at all like England. For one thing, our entire country could fit in just one small part of America. I can’t imagine living in a place that doesn’t have moors and cliffs where the waves crash up against the shore. Maybe she’ll take me with her. I would like to go anywhere in the world as long as my sister came with me.

Then it was my turn. I said that I wanted to grow up to be a teacher like Mrs. Creagle. As much as traveling sounds like fun, I want to stay close to home. Close to Mum and Dad. Close to Petunia. Teaching seems like such fun. Mrs. Creagle told me that I’m good at helping kids understand the math problem or how to read the chapter we’re reading.

We also talked about our weddings. I want Petunia to be my maid of honor. And she can wear purple. And have her hair all done up in curls. And I’d be all dressed in white. It would be a long flowing white gown, kinda like Grandma’s wedding dress that I used to play dress up in when I was a little girl. There will be flowers everywhere. Roses and gardenias and tulips and daisies. In all colors. Pinks, purples, yellows, whites, and reds. And I’d be so happy and Petunia would hand me my bouquet and we’d walk together to the front of the church where Daddy would be waiting to hand me over to my husband. He’d be tall. And handsome. With kind eyes. And he’d adore me. But he wouldn’t tease me like the way that Justin teases me at school. Julie says that Justin likes me and wants to kiss me. That’s why he’s always chasing me and pulling my hair and trying to get me to notice him. But I think that he’s just trying to get attention. When I told Petunia about him, she agreed. He just wants attention. She suggested that I ignore him and see if that will stop his teasing.

Petunia told me what she wants at her wedding. She said that she really doesn’t want to get married. She wants to travel the world before getting married. I’m a little shocked because I thought that every girl dreamed of getting married. But she played along with me anyway. I knew she was doing it for me, because she loves me and didn’t want to make me cry. Anyway. Her wedding will be in some far away place like Egypt or something. I’d be her one bridesmaid. She said that she’d put me in green to show off my eyes. Why is everyone so into my eyes? They’re just eyes. Everyone has them. So what if mine are green. We’d be standing on the shore of a lake and the sun would be setting as she and her husband said their vows. After we’re both married, we’d live side by side and see each other every day!

Always,
Lily


May 16,1968

I got in trouble at school today. Only it wasn’t my fault! I didn’t know that that Justin would get hurt when I didn’t touch him. All I did was tell him to leave me alone. And when he wouldn’t, I wished that something would happen to him and he’d go away and leave me alone. The next thing I knew, Justin was lying on the ground holding tight to his tummy. Saying over and over that I needed to stop it. I was hurting him. How could I have hurt him when I didn’t touch him. Mrs. Creagle wanted to know what had happened, so Julie was more than happy to share her version of the events. Mrs. Creagle made me sit in the time out corner for the rest of the day. It’s not fair! I didn’t do anything! I wish that Petunia were here. She’d save me.

When Mum picked me up after school, Mrs. Creagle told her what had happened. Mum got a really scared look on her face as if she were afraid I’d harm her. When Mrs. Creagle asked Mum what was the matter, Mum said that it wasn’t the first time that something had happened because I was annoyed or upset. I know that I had accidentally caused a fire in the kitchen when I was baking a cake and Petunia said something that mad me mad. But I didn’t hurt Justin! What’s wrong with me? Why am I so different? I still think that I’m adopted. It’s the only reason I can think of for me not fitting in with my perfect family.

Always,
Lily


Hermione’s heart went out to the little girl who was doing accidental magic. She knew that that was the cause of Lily’s differences. The poor child had no idea that her life would change drastically because of her ability to do magic. She looked around the attic and the shadows that were lengthening. She realized that she needed to get back to Headquarters, give an update about what she found, and try to talk to Harry. With a weary sigh, Hermione stood, shook out the kinks from her cramped position and prepared to leave the attic. She knew she’d be back again tomorrow and the next day until she had completed Lily’s story. Harry needed to know it. And she would be the one to tell him.


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Old August 7th, 2006, 5:19 am
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Re: Lily's Lost Journals

Chapter 3

In the gray pre-dawn light, Hermione slowly made her way down the muggy London streets. She reported to Headquarters the evening before and requested to return to the house today to look some more. The others were as concerned for Harry as she was. Her mission had changed since first going into the attic. It had changed because of the journals. Lily’s diary. Now instead of being asked to find something useful for the Order, she had been asked to find a way to help Harry. He didn’t know that she’d found Lily’s diaries. He still thought that she was on a quest for the Order to find something that would aid in the war. As his best friend, the job of trying to help him fell to her. The others were doing all that they could, but he needed something. Something that hopefully would be found through the voice of his long dead mother. Maybe, once he read them, he’d find a measure of healing. Of hope. Maybe, just maybe, he’d be able to live again.

Pushing the melancholy thoughts out of her mind, Hermione focused on her surroundings. The risk of being found out was too great for her to Apparate to her destination, so she was forced to travel the Muggle way. In the grayness, the house came into view. Looking around quickly to see if anyone was watching, she uttered the spell that would take her into the house without setting off the magical alarms that the Order had put in place after yesterday’s discovery. This way she could read without needing to be cautious. Or at least be less cautious than normal. The Order’s protective spells offered her a measure of safety and security. Something she hadn’t known in a long time.

Settling into one of the overstuffed arm chairs that she had discovered up in the attic, she opened the diary to the next entry.

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I know that this is really short. I've got part of the next diary entry written, but I can't post it yet until I finish it. I need help with England's school system. Specifically the way that grade levels are determined. What ages go to what school? In the States, it's so different. If anyone knows, either owl me or post in the feedback thread. THanks a bunch.


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Old August 9th, 2006, 1:17 am
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Re: Lily's Lost Journals

August 6, 1968

I don’t know why Casey’s mad at me. All were doing was playing dress-up. She said that she wanted to get some tea and cookies to have a tea party and then when she came back upstairs the cups were already full. And there were these delicious cookies sitting at our places. She thought that I had snuck them in somehow. I didn’t do anything. I just wanted to help my friend out. So she left the room, and I wished for tea and cookies. I didn’t think that they’d actually show up. When she asked me how they got here, I told her that they just appeared. They weren’t there one second and then – POOF! There they were. She didn’t believe me. So we had a fight and she told me to go home. That she didn’t want to be my friend anymore. That I was weird. But I’m not weird. I’m normal. I don’t know why these things happen to me! I really don’t. I think that I’m scaring Mumma and Daddy. Accidents keep happening and we can’t explain it. Even Petunia is afraid of what I might do. I wish that I knew what was happening to me!

After I came home crying, Petunia fixed me some milk and cookies and we tried to forget about Casey. She told me all about this boy that she saw in the park who was hanging upside down on the monkey bars. She thought that he was being a show-off. I’m glad that my sister and I agree that boys are stupid. Well except for Daddy of course. Daddy’s a boy and he’s not stupid. Her trick worked. It got me laughing and I forgot all about Casey until I came here to write in my diary.

When Daddy gave me this, I didn’t think that I’d really write in it all that much. I have found out that I can write things in here that I can’t tell Mum and Dad or Petunia. They wouldn’t understand. Hopefully when school starts up again, my friends will have forgotten all about my accidents over the summer. I won’t be able to stand spending a year without friends. Especially since Petunia won’t be at the same school as me anymore. She gets to go to Secondary School now! What am I ever going to do without my protector?

Even though weird things happened when I’m around, my sister still loves me. She knows I’m different and that I don’t fit in. She tries to make sure that she is always there to cheer me up. I’m afraid that when she goes to Secondary School that she’s going start being mad because I’m different. I’ve seen how Julie’s big brother treats his mum and dad because he’s 13 years old now and he also pretends that Julie doesn’t exist. I don’t want that to happen with me and Petunia.


Always,

Lily

December 25, 1968

Well it’s Christmas today. And it’s the holidays. That means no school until January! Yay! I was waiting for Petunia to get home from her school the day that the holidays began. I’d missed my big sister so much. Sure we wrote letters to each other, but it wasn’t the same as it was before she went away. I still don’t know why she talked Mum and Dad into letting her go away to go to Secondary School. What was wrong with the one here? Anyway, when I saw the car pull up in the drive with Daddy and Petunia in it, I flew out of the house into the cold forgetting my coat and ignoring Mum who called to me, “Lillian! Don’t go outside without your coat! It’s too cold! You’ll catch your death!” But I was already out the door and on my way to the car, braids streaming out behind me. I was so happy to see my sister that I called “Petunia” right before I tossed myself into her arms. “Hi Lily,” she replied sorta distantly as she hugged me back. I knew then that something was different. I wanted to talk to her then to find out what was wrong but Daddy ushered us both into the house and Petunia hurried up the stairs.

At my crestfallen expression – see I’m using my new vocabulary words already! – Daddy hugged me tightly and told me “Smile Lily-girl. I’m sure that once the two of you talk, things will be fine. Let’s enjoy Christmas.” I nodded even though I was terribly confused.

Anyway. I was determined not to ruin Christmas for the family and to enjoy my sister being home. I’d not gotten into trouble at school in a long time. Well ok, 2 weeks wasn’t all that long, but at least no more accidents had happened since then. Petunia and I haven’t had a chance to talk yet. I think that she’s avoiding me. I mean she’s told us some stories about her school and how she’s become friends with this girl from Surrey named Stephanie. I’ve heard more about Stephanie in the last two days than I could really care to! And no, I’m not jealous. Petunia and I will always be best friends. Besides that we’re sisters and no one will ever come between us. I came out of my thoughts in time to hear Petunia ask, “Is it okay if Stephanie comes over for a few days before we go back to school? I was hoping that she could stay with us and then both of take the train back to school together.” Neither Mum or Dad had a problem with it, so Petunia goes into the kitchen and telephones Stephanie to let her know that she can come in on Thursday.

But back to today. Mum really outdid herself with the Christmas dinner. We had roasted goose mixed with a wine sauce. I think it was white. Mum let me make the Christmas cookies that we ate after dinner with mugs of cocoa and eggnog. Then we opened our presents. Daddy and Mum gave me the best present! It was, according to them, something that would help to realize once and for all that I wasn’t adopted but was theirs all along. It was a portrait of Daddy’s great-grandma Clarissa. And it wasn’t the tiny brown and white one he’d shown me before. This was a REAL painting. Great-Grandma Clarissa has my red hair and my green eyes. She looks exactly like me. Well Mum says that she looks like how I’ll look when I grow up. I asked Daddy how they found this and he told me that he’d asked his mum. “Granna Louise remembered her mother telling her about how beautiful her mother, Clarissa, was. And the thing that she remembered the most was her red hair and green eyes,” Daddy told me. I wanted to know what happened to Great-Grandma Clarissa. “Well my Lily-girl, Mother said that she died very young. My own grandmother only vaguely remembered her. The details of her death are mysterious and no one really knows what happened. All we know is that she was working on something and then the next thing we know she was dead. There wasn’t a mark on her body at all. Very mysterious. You’re the first in the family in generations to resemble her so much.” I nodded wide-eyed while staring at the painting. I felt a kinship with the great-great grandmother I never knew and who died so tragically. Maybe I’m more like her then anyone even knows. Maybe it’s more than how much I look like her.


Always,

Lily.



January 5, 1969

Petunia’s friend Stephanie came on the 29th. Before she got here, while Daddy had gone to pick her up from the station, Petunia pulled me aside to talk. “Promise me Lily,” she began. “Promise me that you won’t cause any accidents while Stephanie’s here. I don’t know how we’d explain it to her. She likes things normal, and all she knows is that my baby sister is a little different.” I looked into Petunia’s very serious dark eyes and found myself agreeing. I couldn’t guarantee that I wouldn’t do something, but I could at least promise to try.

Over the next few days, I found myself disliking Stephanie very strongly. I would try to fight those feelings simply because accidents tended to happen when I would get upset. Besides I’d promised Petunia. And I wanted to keep my promise.

Stephanie didn’t like me either. She kept trying to treat me like I was a baby. I’m not. I’m almost 9 years old. And the way that she was treating me was causing Petunia to distance herself from me. Almost as if she were afraid of hurting Stephanie’s feelings by defending me, her little sister. Well I didn’t like it. Not one bit! The way that my temper was building I knew that soon there would be an accident and it would make Petunia mad. And Stephanie would get hurt. I tried I really did. But on the last day that she was here, yesterday, things came to a head.

I was reading by the fire in the library, not doing anything to bother Petunia and Stephanie. They walk into the library and Stephanie comes over and takes my book away from me. “Nancy Drew,” she said with a sneer. “Only babies read that stuff.” Then with a flip of her wrist, before I had a chance to say anything or Petunia to say something either, she tossed my book into the fire. That did it! I was livid – another new vocabulary word! I stood up and glared at Stephanie. “I’m not a baby,” I yelled. As I was yelling, all of a sudden Stephanie had stretched to four times her height and was still stretching. “Lily, make her stop,” Petunia screamed at me. “I can’t. I don’t know what happened,” I replied back. “I didn’t mean to hurt her. I was just mad at her and wanted my book back.” Our shouts brought Mum and Dad running. When they saw Stephanie, they quickly put her in the car and took her to the hospital. Petunia went along after shooting me a disgusted look.

I waited and waited for them to come back. Finally they came back, without Stephanie. Petunia looks at me and stalks up the stairs to her room without so much as a word. Mum gives me a hug to soothe my fears and tells me that some specialists had arrived to take Stephanie to a special hospital. She’d get the best of care and be able to return to school with no memory of what had happened. Unfortunately for me, Mum and Dad realized now that my accidents were getting more and more serious. I’d heard them talking about sending me away to doctors to find out what is wrong with me. After another hug, I was told to go on to bed.

On my way to my room, I stopped by Petunia’s. “Petunia,” I said softly as I knocked on her door. “I really am sorry.” “Go away you freak,” she hissed at me when she opened the door. “You’re a freak. And now you’ve made it so that I will always be known as the older sister of that freak child. Why can’t you just be normal!” After those words, she slammed her bedroom door in my face and left me standing in the hallway with tears running down my face.

Why can’t I be normal? Then everything would be ok.

Always,

Lily


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Old August 12th, 2006, 3:32 pm
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Re: Lily's Lost Journals

February 24, 1969

I’m sad today. The hamster that Mum and Dad gave me to help me feel better after Petunia was so mean died. One second it was just running around the round thing it plays in and I was watching it. Then the next thing that I knew my little hamster had stopped moving and was dead. I know that I didn’t do anything to it. I picked it up out of its cage and took it into the kitchen to show Mum. She hugged me tightly and wiped the tears from my eyes. She then helped me find a small box and we lined it with one of her handkerchiefs. Then we buried it under the small elm tree in the back yard. No words were needed for us. It was just me and Mum sharing our sadness at the loss of my hamster. I’m glad that Mum was there with me.

Always,

Lily


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Ok, I know it's really really short, but i'm on the way out the door. I may have more later. But sometimes journal entries are short.


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Old August 15th, 2006, 5:17 am
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Re: Lily's Lost Journals

March 5, 1969

Things have been pretty crazy around the house lately. We’re of course getting ready for the Easter holidays when Petunia comes home. How will she treat me? Mum and Dad have accepted the fact that I’m different. And they love me more than before it seems. Ever since the incident with Stephanie, they’ve been careful to make sure that I can’t cause any more accidents. We don’t know what else to call them other than accidents. So the three of us have fallen into a bit of a routine. We get up. Mum makes breakfast. I try not to shatter anything. Daddy takes me to school and tells me that I’m his Lily-girl. Mum picks me up and we go home. Daddy comes home from work and brings Mum flowers and me something. Like the hamster. Or a new book. Or some paper and crayons so that I can draw. It’s comfortable. We like it. I sometimes get to go play with Julie. She’s the only one of my friends who doesn’t treat me differently. Julie doesn’t understand why odd things happen around me but she’s accepted the fact that they just do. It doesn’t change the fact that I’m still me – Lillian Michelle Evans – her best friend. Thank goodness for Julie. Mum has talked about letting me spend a couple of days over at Julie’s once Petunia comes home, but that’s only if she and I can’t get along. I know that I’m going to do everything that I can to get along with my sister. I mean she’s my sister. Sure, she hurt me with what she called me, but that doesn’t change the fact that I still love her. I probably always will.

But anyway, we’ve been giving the house a real spring cleaning. Mum has had me in the attic beating out rugs and sweeping out cobwebs. It’s not my idea of fun let me tell you that! But it is kinda nice to be able to beat a rug til its clean and when I started it I was mad and by the end I’m not mad anymore. I guess that what everyone says about hard work making your anger go away is true. I certainly feel better after a good rug beating.

I’d better go. Mum’s calling me.

Always,

Lily



March 27, 1969

Today is my birthday. I can’t believe that I’ve been writing in this diary for a year already! When Daddy gave it to me last year, I thought that for sure I’d write only once or twice. But no! I’ve managed to fill its pages. In fact today’s entry is the last one. I’m out of room to write more. But I’m grateful that Daddy realized how important this is to me and he presented me another diary this morning at breakfast.

Easter was a trial. Petunia and I spent the holidays in an uneasy truce. We didn’t go out and play or really spend time together. We were polite around one another. It was really hard for me. I wanted my sister back. Back the way she was before I accidentally hurt Stephanie. We did have one pretty good talk. Well as good as things can get between us now. “Petunia,” I asked her timidly. “How is Stephanie?” Petunia gave a huge sigh before she answered me. “Well Lily, I know that you really didn’t mean to hurt her. I really do know that. She’s ok, I guess. She doesn’t want to be around me anymore. Almost as if she’s afraid that what happened to her because of you is catching.” “You mean, she’s afraid that you will do something to her,” I asked to make sure that I understood. “Yes,” she told me. “Lily I wish you were normal like you used to be,” she said as she walked away. That’s all the talking we did the entire holidays. The rest of the time, she avoided me whenever possible. It hurts my heart to know that my sister still thinks that I’m a freak.

I’m so glad that I have this diary. Julie told me today at lunch after she gave me my birthday present that next term her she’ll be in America. Her dad’s taken a job there. And he’s already over there. She and her mum and her brother and her sister. Something about her family needing this opportunity. She told me that she wanted to stay here with me. Because when she goes, who will look out for me? We both cried. Because she’s right. Without Julie, I won’t have anyone. But she did give me this absolutely beautiful silver bracelet as my birthday present. It’s a charm bracelet. With three charms already on it. One charm is of two little girls hugging. The next two charms are of the United States and the United Kingdom. There’s a little heart between them. Julie told me, “No matter how far apart we will be, our hearts are always going to be connected. I promise that I’ll write to you every week in America and I’ll look forward to getting your letters as well.” “I’ll write you every week too,” I told her as I hugged her. “Thanks. This is the best present I’ve ever gotten.” “Even more than that portrait of your great-great grandmum,” she asked with a grin. She knows how much I adore the portrait of Great-great grandmother Clarissa.

Oh no! I’m smudging the page with my tears!

Always,

Lily


Hermione wiped away her own tears as she closed the diary of eight-year old Lily. The poor girl. She wished that she’d had a chance to know her. She had a feeling that she and Lily would have been kindred spirits. Yes, Harry needed these books. Lily’s young life could serve as a balm to her only son. But would he really try to understand the message that Hermione picked up on loud and clear through just this first book? That love is the most important thing in life. No wonder Harry spent his entire life so protected from Voldemort. Lily’s capacity to love and to love deeply made her who she was. Hermione’s mind was whirling with ways in which Lily’s diaries could help Harry. But not until she had read the entire story would she give them to him. With a sigh, she picked up the next book – the one written by the nine-year old Lily.
************************************************** **********************
This one's not much I know. I didn't really have much of a feel for parts of it, especially the ending of the chapter. So chapter 3 is finally finished. New diary and new chapter starting with my next post. Which might be tomorrow. I need to get as much written and posted before school starts next Monday night, because after school starts I won't have much time. Ah such is the life of the grad student.


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Old August 16th, 2006, 6:08 pm
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Re: Lily's Lost Journals

Chapter 4

April 17, 1969

There are only a few weeks left before Julie moves away. I want to do something special for her, but I don’t know what. Mum doesn’t have any ideas either. So I think that I’ll end up making her something really special. I don’t have enough time to crochet her a blanket, but that’s ok. I’m horrible at crocheting. I’ll just have to think about it some more.

We have been given the most funest project ever at school! We were told to pick a member in the family that we want to know more about and write a paper about them. What their life was like. What made them who they are. And why we picked them. Well it’s certainly not hard for me to figure out who I want to research. Great-great Grandma Clarissa. Let’s see. What do I know about her? Well, she had red hair and green eyes like me. She had a daughter named, hmm I don’t know. I’ll ask Daddy. Anyway, she had a granddaughter named Louise, that’s my granna and Daddy’s mum. Clarissa died young. And it was very mysterious. Her daughter hardly remembers her. Oh good! Daddy’s home! I can ask him some questions!

“Daddy,” I exclaimed as I ran down the stairs. “We have the most awesome project for school and I need your help!”

“Slow down Lily-girl. What do you need me to build you?”

“Nothing. I have questions for you to answer.”

“Very well then, let’s go sit down on the sofa and ask away, but first why don’t you tell me all about this project.”

We settled onto the sofa and I told him that I needed to write a paper about a family member and I’d picked his great-grandma Clarissa. With a grin, he nodded at me to continue. I think that he knew as soon as he heard the details of the project who I would pick. Anyway. “You’d told me that Clarissa had died young. How old was she when she died? What year was that? When was she born? What’s your grandmother’s name? Who did she marry? Does Granna have anything that will help me with this paper? Or can we go to the library and I try to find some stuff?”

“Whoa there Lily-girl. I’ll answer as many as your questions as I can, I promise. Of course we’ll go see your grandmother and go to the library. Maybe over the weekend. We’ll see. Now first, my grandmother’s name was Allena, but everyone called her ‘Lena.’ She was only 3 years old when her mother died. So that means that Clarissa died in 1877. And yes she was young, only nineteen. If I’m figuring out the math right, Clarissa was born in 1858. My grandmother used to tell me stories about how her mother had spent her life in a small village in Wales. That is until she met the man she later married. After Clarissa’s death, her husband took their small daughter and moved to the English countryside. Grandmother would tell me that he rarely spoke of her mother except to tell her to watch herself so that she wouldn’t end up like her mother. She thought that her father wanted to erase all traces of Clarissa and her life. That’s one of the reasons that Grandmother was called ‘Lena’ instead of Allena. Lena made for a much more proper sounding English name and not a Welsh one. Anything else that you need for your paper, we’ll have to go to your grandmother’s. I can only just remember the stories that my grandmother would tell me of her early years. I’m sure that Mum knows more and may even have some journals or things for you to look through.”

“Thanks Daddy. I want to know all I can about Clarissa.”

The way I figured things out was that the more I know about Clarissa, then the more likely I am to find out something about myself too.

Always,

Lily

*************************************************
I'm having fun with this part. I'd keep going but I'm running late for me to go to the library and turn in my over-due book, run buy the school to get my textbooks and parking permit, and then show up at work early to get caught up. Especially since I just realized that I'm by myself til 1 again tomorrow. *grumbles* Anyway. Hope you enjoy it.


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  #9  
Old August 19th, 2006, 5:21 am
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Re: Lily's Lost Journals

April 23, 1969

The weekend was packed full with things! Daddy and I went to the library on Friday to find out some information about Great-great Grandma Clarissa. There wasn’t much. Just an article in the paper saying that Clarissa Dale died in her home on Sunday June 25, 1877. We did get to get a copy of the article. Daddy said it was actually her obituary. I don’t know what that means, but he told me that it’s the notice that the paper prints when somebody dies. Here’s what hers said: ‘Clarissa Mauve Breese Dale died in her home on Sunday the 25th of June in the year of our Lord 1877. She was found by her husband, Jerome Dale, a local carpenter. Details surrounding her death have not been released. It is assumed that she died quietly. Clarissa Mauve Breese Dale was born on 10th May 1858 in Carmarthen to Brychan and Eleri Breese, the 7th and youngest child of their union. She married Jerome Dale of Dover, England in 1873 and gave birth to a daughter in 1874. The Dales settled in Brecon in 1875. Mrs. Dale is survived by her husband, Jerome, and her three year old daughter, Allena. Services were held privately at St. Thomas’s Chapel on Tuesday. Mr. Dale has since left the area with his daughter to return to his family in England.’ Well, that’s certainly not very helpful other than telling me that Clarissa was born in Wales and that her husband moved back to England after her death. I wonder why he left.

Anyway on Saturday, Daddy took me over to Granna Louise’s house. She had cookies. She told Daddy to come back for me later since he wouldn’t want to hear all the stories she was going to tell me! She took me into the cozy living room and began telling me what she knew about her grandmother.

“Lily,” she started out. “I can only tell you what my mum had told me about your great-great grandmother. She died when my mum was 3 years old. I grew up listening to stories of Mum’s early years in Brecon, Wales. Mum always told me that her mother was beautiful. She had long flowing red hair and fiery green eyes. Like emeralds she remembers Grandpa referring to them as. She was a kind woman. She loved the children in the village and would be frequently found in the green playing with one or five of them. Grandpa didn’t like to talk about her very much. He was always afraid that Mum would end up just like her.”

“End up just like her? What does that mean,” I needed to know.

“I think that he meant that her death. It was very mysterious. She was so young. There wasn’t any real reason as to why she died. She just did. But I digress. Back to Clarissa. Clarissa had what is often referred to as the Second Sight. She would get visions and premonitions about things to come. Mum said that the people in the village put more faith in her visions than in what the vicar would say in church on Sundays. It made the vicar mad, but he realized that Clarissa didn’t ask for the villagers to exalt her the way that they did. Clarissa was an accomplished nurse. She used all sorts of herbal remedies and things to cure all sorts of illnesses. Mum remembers times when her mother would take a look at a broken bone, touch it, and all of a sudden it looked as good as new. No, it wasn’t a miracle. It was just something that she did. She would do other odd things too. But they were just things that she did to help others out. Grandpa always said that Breeses were an odd family. But they were loved.”

“Granna, how did Clarissa learn to read?”

“I’ve always believed that her mother taught her. I think that she did go off to school for a few years. And while she was gone, she met my grandfather. It was love at first sight for them both. He fell in love with her beauty and her gentleness. She loved his ability to create things. And that he accepted her for who she was. Her parents didn’t approve of her marrying someone so very different than them. So they ran away and married in secret. When her parents found out, they were furious, but it was too late. Clarissa was already expecting Mum. So her parents decided to accept the way things were and allowed Clarissa and Grandpa to live with them until the baby was born. Unfortunately for them, Clarissa had a hard time delivering Mum and was ill for several months afterwards. When she recovered, Grandpa decided it was time for them to move and they moved to Brecon. I think that he’d actually planned to move on back to England, but Clarissa loved her Welsh homeland so much that he couldn’t deny her anything.

“Mum found among her father’s things when he died a book that he’d kept all through the years. She was curious and opened it up and found a letter from Clarissa to Grandpa. She let me have it just before she died. Would you like for me to read it to you Lillian?”

I couldn’t help but nod wide-eyed at Granna Louise. Perhaps I’d get a few answers.

“’Darling Jerome, Thank you for loving me through these difficult years. I realize that things haven’t been easy on you. Especially since you met me and my family. We can’t help what we are. I know you’ve accepted me, but my parents always wanted me to marry one of my own kind. I don’t love you any less because you’re not one of us. In fact, I love you more. Should something happen to me, I want you to take our daughter far away from here and my family. She’ll be better off not knowing what exactly my family is. I wish now that I’d not stopped you from taking us to England after Allena was born. I know you understood though how much I loved Wales. Thank you for giving up your dream to settle here with me.

I still can’t tell you exactly what I am, though I’m sure you have probably figured it out. Especially if Allena or the baby- yes that’s right, we’re having another child! Especially if either Allena or the babe display my abilities. Should they do, please go to London. There will be friends there who can help.

Oh dearest. I am so excited about this new babe! I know that it’s a risk to my health to have another child, but dear one, don’t worry. I shall be fine. I so want to give you a strong strapping son to carry on the family name. Don’t be angry with me my love. You’ve told me over and over that Allena is more than enough for you. Yet I see the yearning in your eyes when I am playing the children on the green or holding a babe while visiting with the ladies after church on Sundays. I did something to ensure that I’d be able to become a mother again. It’s what you want most in the world my love. Darling, this child will be born this winter. I know that.

Oh dearest, I love you so much! I canna stand being away from you for even a moment, but I must go. The children call to me.

I am, and shall remain, your faithful beloved wife,

Clarissa Mauve Breese Dale
’”

“Wow. That was quite a letter,” I told Granna.

“Yes, my child it was. The saddest part is that she wrote this letter only days before she died.”

“So she was pregnant when she died?”

“Yes. Here Lily, it’s yours to keep.”

I treasured the letter. After Granna handed it to me, I gently folded it into my jeans pocket. And now, it’s tucked safely inside the pages of you, my diary. Poor Clarissa. She lived a tragic life. I think that I have enough information for my paper now.

Always,

Lily


Hermione thumbed through the pages looking for the letter. When she found it, she glanced at it very carefully. She wanted to see if by chance Lily’s writing had been wrong and Clarissa did admit that she was a witch. It certainly seemed to be an obvious conclusion to be drawn from the things that Lily had written about. But no, it said nothing about being a witch. She read through it again and felt so sad for Harry’s great-great-great grandmother who had died pregnant. And so young. Evidently young tragic deaths ran in his family. His parents. Lily’s great-great grandmother Clarissa. She could only hope that history would not repeat itself again with him.

Shaking her head, she moved on to the next entry.


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  #10  
Old August 23rd, 2006, 10:13 pm
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Re: Lily's Lost Journals

May 10, 1969

I got an A on my paper about Great-great Grandma Clarissa. Mrs. Levine was very impressed with all the detail that I’d put into it. She wanted to know if I had ever thought of becoming a writer or a reporter. I had to laugh. Yes, I had fun digging into my family’s past and finding information out about Clarissa. I felt much like Nancy Drew on one of her cases. But, I don’t want to write or be a reporter. That’s just such a boring job. I want to do something fun. Something that will help others. Maybe be a nurse or a teacher. I don’t know.

Julie moves on Saturday. Her mum has managed to convince the school to allow her to take exams early so that she can join her dad in America straight-away. I really don’t want Julie to go away. I’m going to miss her so much. She’s been like a balm to my hurt spirit ever since Petunia and I stopped really speaking to each other. I’m going to give Julie a bracelet much like the one that she gave me. Only instead of it being sliver and being a charm bracelet, it will be gold with our names engraved in jade across it. I want it to say on one side of the place where our names are at “Distance preserves friendship.” I want the other side to say “Lillian “Lily” Michelle Evans & Julie Irene Lawndale, Faithful friends. 1969.” I told Mum about it and she thinks it sounds like a beautiful idea.

I think I’m going to try to spend the summer talking Daddy into letting me be tutored next school year. Without Julie with me, I’m going to be truly alone. I know that I’ll have an easier time talking Daddy into letting me not go to school than I will Mum. Daddy can then talk Mum into it. I think it would be better for me to be tutored. I can’t go back to school without Julie. And besides, we’d have less likely of a chance of my having accidents again and again if I get to be tutored at home. I’ll have to plan my approach carefully.

Always,

Lily

************************************************** ***************
Ok, I know it's short. I may have more up later, but we shall see. I wanted to give you something. ANd at least with the pre-Hogwarts days I don't need to keep checking the books to make sure I'm saying something right.


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Old September 3rd, 2006, 6:26 am
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Re: Lily's Lost Journals

July 25, 1969

This summer has been pretty horrid. Julie’s not here. Petunia and I don’t do anything together anymore. I feel like I have no friends left in the world. Next term at school doesn’t appear to be looking up any either. I’m doing everything that I can to convince Mum and Dad to allow me to be tutored. I think that Daddy’s all for it. He likes to have me around at home. I’m his little princess and he spoils me terribly. Mum’s thinking about it. She knows it’s the safest place for me so that I don’t cause any more accidents at school, but she’s worried about how much I will actually do my school work. I think I can promise her that my schoolwork won’t suffer. Especially if I’m given projects like the one I did on Clarissa. Petunia’s been complaining that it isn’t fair that I get to do what ever I want when I want to. She thinks that I need to stay at the school and just deal with the fact that I have no friends. But, you know what? I don’t get to do whatever I want. It’s not like I always ask for this thing or that thing and Mum and Dad get it for me! In fact, I often find myself wishing that I could do some of the things that Petunia gets to do, like stay out past 9:00 and spend weekends at a friend’s. But no. I can’t. Mum and Dad are afraid that I will do something and want to keep me close. I find it sorta annoying, really.

Always,

Lily


Hermione had to laugh as she read about Lily’s words about not being able to do the things that Petunia got to do. How well she remembered the awkward days of young childhood before receiving her own Hogwarts letter and having her life changed in an instant. With another chuckle, she turned the page to the next entry.


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Old September 4th, 2006, 12:15 am
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Re: Lily's Lost Journals

September 5, 1969

Oh my goodness! I can’t believe that I actually managed to convince Mum to allow me to be tutored at home this year! Petunia didn’t think I’d be able to, and I fully expected to find myself back at junior school this year instead of being taught at home, but Mum gave in at the end! This is absolutely wonderful! My new tutor is named Mr. Goshen. I’m a little nervous about meeting him, but he comes highly recommended to us, and Daddy always says that nothing but the best for his little Lily-girl. Anyway, Mr. Goshen will be arriving tomorrow morning, so I have to be ready for school starting then. I wonder what sort of a schedule he’s going to make me keep? Will he be cruel? What sorts of projects will I be asked to do? Will I be asked to make some presentations? What about outings? Will we make trips to the zoo or to London to the museums? I’m too excited to be doing what I should be doing right now, and that’s sleeping! So, I’m writing. I think I’m rather running on at the moment, but if I can’t sleep why not write in you, diary.

Let’s see. What else can I write about? Hmmmm. I know! Let me tell you about Petunia’s birthday. She turned 12 on Friday. It was right before she left to go back to her school. She’s my sister, so of course I got her something. I don’t think that she liked it very much. It’s almost as if she doesn’t want me around her anymore. And I know it’s because I’m different. I look different, and do strange things that I can’t explain. All she wants is to be normal. Anyway, back to my present. I got her a book about New York and the shows on the street called Broadway. It had lots of pictures in it and I wrote in the beginning of it “Petunia, May all the dreams that we shared come true one day. ~Lily.” I really don’t think that she liked it. Oh she was impressed with it because it was about New York, but because it came from me, well, yeah. Not her favorite present.

Daddy told me that Granna Louise is sick. I hope she gets better. She’s my favorite grandmother. Yes, I know she’s my only grandmother, but that still means that she’s my favorite. Maybe she just has a cold or something. All I know is that she tells some of the most wonderful stories ever!

Oh no! I hear Daddy on the stairs! I know he’s about to come in here to see why I’m still up and not sleeping and getting my “beauty sleep!” I’d better go!

Always,

Lily



************************************************** ****
And now, at long last, we are finished with chapter 3. CHapter 4 will start with the next journal entry.


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Last edited by baseballblondie; September 24th, 2006 at 3:28 pm. Reason: fix an error
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Old September 25th, 2006, 1:58 am
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Re: Lily's Lost Journals

ANd at long last we start chapter 4...

Chapter 4

October, 7, 1969

I hate my new tutor! I almost wish that I could go back to junior school where I’d be alone! Mr. Goshen treats me like a baby! And I’m not. I’m almost 10 years old. He thinks that the reason Mum and Daddy asked to have me tutored was because I’m slow and stupid. He spends his days going over and over the basic alphabet and simple rules for reading. He’s making me so mad! Mum’s tried to tell him that I am not slow or stupid. That I’m just different. He just doesn’t get it. The sad thing is, I heard Mum and Daddy talking about it, that they can’t fire him because then they’d be in a breach of his contract and he’d take them to court and sue them until we were all bankrupt! But we all know that if he keeps going at this rate, something is going to happen to him. Because I’ll get mad and do something. One of my accidents that happens when I get mad. They’re the reason I’m being tutored anyway. Mum doesn’t want to take chances, so she’s starting to join us in the schoolroom in the mornings. It’s a little easier for me to control my temper when she’s there, but only slightly.

I think I’ve come up with an idea to show Mr. Goshen that I’m not a baby. He’s assigned me to write 5 paragraphs about some picture book. I’ve decided that I’ll write the 5 paragraphs and then give him a detailed report about one of my books. He’d have to see then that I’m smarter than a 6-year old!

I got a letter from Julie yesterday. I miss her so much! She was telling me all about her school and how the kids laugh at her because of her accent. She doesn’t like living in the city. She misses me and the moors that her family would visit on the weekends. She wants to come back. The teachers at her school put her in the 4th grade. She said that it’s really boring work. All they do is read from a reader, write an essay, and practice multiplication facts. They never have anything fun like the ancestry project we did last year. Trust me, I know how she’s feeling.

Last night, I had the strangest dream. I was with this guy who had dark hair and glasses. And we were wandering through the halls of what seemed to be a castle. I don’t know. Then the dream suddenly shifted and we weren’t in the castle but in a house. Just the two of us and there were all of these weird things around us. And the people outside would walk right by as if they didn’t even notice the house. It’s not like the house was invisible or anything like that. The people just didn’t see it. I don’t know how they could have missed it being as ornate as it was. I’ve never had any dreams like this before. I wonder what could have brought it on. Let’s see, what did I watch on television last night? Hmmmm. No, I didn’t actually watch anything so it can’t be a nightmare based from tv. I’m probably just being silly and that this was just a random dream, but it seemed so real! It seemed like I really knew both the boy and the castle. And then the house. I knew that too. Well, at least I know that I can always write my weird dreams down inside of your pages, diary.

Always,

Lily


November 23, 1969

Well, my ploy to get Mr. Goshen to understand that I’m not a baby worked. He’s stopped treating me like I’m stupid and has begun to give me real work. In fact, since I’ve shown such an interest in medicine, he’s planning on taking me to London to visit the hospital there. He’s going to let me ask all sorts of questions.

Daddy was watching the news last night and was talking about the United States being in Vietnam. Julie’s latest letter mentioned it as well. She said that the people in the States don’t support their president with this war. Julie said that her dad got shipped out and now her mum is working in a factory to just try to keep the family fed. It’s so sad. I don’t know why the United States needed to get involved. I’m glad that England didn’t see the need to get involved as well. Why can’t everybody just along?

Petunia sent a letter the other day. She said that she and Stephanie are becoming really good friends and that she wants to go over to Stephanie’s for the holidays. I think that Mum will let her. We certainly can’t have Stephanie back over here. Evidently, I’m too strange for her. And we don’t want a repeat of what happened last time that she was here. I guess I’m happy that Petunia will get to spend time with her friend, but I miss my sister. I wish that she would accept me for being the different person that I am and not be mean or hate me because I’m different.

Always,

Lily


January, 1, 1970

Happy New Year! I had another strange dream last night. In this one, I was with that same boy again. We were outside sitting beneath a willow tree beside a beautiful lake, when this group of people came up. Before I could really tell what was going on, the boy was on his feet shouting the most awful things at these people. And the weirdest part was what was happening to the people he was shouting at. They would fall over or have skin eruptions or stuff like that. It’s like it was magic. I know that magic doesn’t really exist, but that boy did something to them. And the thing is, is that I seemed to understand exactly what they were saying. Evidently, they were calling me some name. What was it? Maybe I can remember. Think, think, think. No, the name’s escaping me, but whatever it was, I know that it was a really bad name.

Granna Louise is not shaking that cold that she’s had for a few months. I want to help her get better, but I’m not a doctor. And I know nothing about nursing. Even my trip to the hospital in London didn’t really help me come up with ideas in which she’d get better. Daddy took me over there with him the other day to see her and she looked awful. Not at all like the Granna Louise who baked wonderful cookies and shared Clarissa’s story with me. Daddy says she’s dying. And that it’s only a matter of time before she dies. I don’t want her to die. It seems like everyone that I love goes away. First Petunia. Then Julie. And now Granna Louise. I don’t know what I’ll do if something happens to Mum and Dad. Daddy says that she has this disease called cancer. And it’s killing her. Oh how I wish that I could just take away all of her pain and I’d have my Granna back!

Julie’s last letter was very much filled with regrets about moving to the States. The kids in her class have started to treat her like she’s made of glass now. They’re doing that because they don’t want to upset her. See, her dad is missing in Vietnam. And her mum is terrified that he’s dead. So her mum has started drinking and poor Julie. She’s having to spend all of her time taking care of her brother and sister since her mum can’t take care of herself let alone the children. Julie said that if only they’d stayed here then things would have been better. Her dad wouldn’t be missing. Her mum wouldn’t be in such a state. She’d be happy. She’d have me. My poor friend.

Always,

Lily

Hermione paused to wipe the tears from her cheeks as she closed the pages of the journal. She’d read about all that she could handle for today. These journals had to be preserved to get to Harry. He certainly needed them. He’d realize that his mother was a deep person. Deeper even than any of the old Order members probably realized. No wonder Lily was so great with potions. At one point, she’d been interested in medicine. Hermione wondered as she left the safety of the house if Lily was a Seer. No one seemed willing to talk much about Lily and those dreams of hers. If she were a betting woman, she’d have to say that Lily had dreamt of James and Hogwarts and the house in Godric’s Hollow. Yet when the story was complete, would it truly be as she hoped? Something to help Harry. To help him return to those who love him?


**************************************************
Ok, so I know that i said I'd not post til after the research paper, but I decided to write and was writing a lot. So here it is.


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  #14  
Old October 14th, 2006, 12:41 am
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Re: Lily's Lost Journals

*****~~~~~~*****
Slipping out into London’s grey pre-dawn streets, Hermione silently made her way back to the house. She was hoping to arrive undetected and that her presence, or lack there of, at headquarters would be unnoticed today. Though Harry was finally beginning to show signs that he cared. Hermione was finding herself using all her wits in order to keep her mission a secret. The time wasn’t right yet for him to know. Not until she’d finished Lily’s story. If then. He was too distraught and unreliable to accept that he needed help. Help that only his mother could provide. Besides Harry wasn’t the only thing on her mind this day. She’d heard reports of more turmoil and could only begin to suspect who was causing it. Obviously not Voldemort, having been dead these past three years. But still, there was something sinister in the reports. She couldn’t afford to be put off her guard.

She approached the stone steps with caution. Seeing nothing to cause her alarm, she quickly slipped into the house, setting the alarms behind her. She made her way once again to her cozy corner in the attic. Caressing the leather bound journal holding Lily’s words, she soon found her place and was transported back into Lily’s world. Yet unbeknownst to her, someone had noticed her stealthy movements away from headquarters and followed her, biding time to invade her safe haven.

March 27, 1970

10 years old today! That’s what I am. This is my first birthday without Julie. I got another letter from her yesterday. She writes more and more about her mum being a mess and how she’s worried that her dad may not be coming home, but in fact be dead. She said that they got a telegram which said that all attempts to recover her father were a loss. She said that the telegram went on to say that ‘as of’ some date, she couldn’t remember, ‘the Army has decided to declare Sergeant First Class Gerald Thomas Lawndale to be officially Killed in Action’. Killed! Julie’s dad is dead. Julie also told me that she doesn’t know how to deal with her mum, her brother and sister, and still be expected to live and figure out a way to support the family. Oh how I wish we could bring her back here! My poor, poor best friend! I feel so sad for her. Perhaps, I’ll ask Mum if I can go to her. But she’ll probably say “No you’re too young!” Oh well.

Anyway about my birthday. Mr. Goshen cancelled my lessons today! Yay! No school on my birthday! And to think that he did this without my causing any accidents! He did give me a pretty cool birthday present. He gave me the latest Beatles record and I know that Petunia will be jealous. She loves the Beatles. She has pictures of John, Paul, George, and Ringo all over her room. I think that her favorite is Ringo. Whatever. I think that they’re really pretty silly with that hair in their eyes all the time. I don’t know what she likes them for. I mean their music is ok and everything. I just find that they’re really rather boring.

I had another dream about that castle. I’ve asked Mr. Goshen if he knows of any castles fitting that description here in England and he said No. Bummer. But he did decide to combine History, Science, Math, and Language to give me a project. I shoulda known better than to ask him. All it got me was more homework. But this project does seem to be fun. I’m to research European castles if the 16th Century or the Middle Ages, my choice, and write out a story about the people who may have lived there during that time. What they wore, what they ate, what the castle was used for. That sort of stuff. Plus I’m supposed to build a miniature replica of the castle. And it’s due at the end of the term. This will be fun. Granna Louise has TONS of books about castles. I’ll see if Daddy can take me over there on Saturday. And maybe Mum will let me bake some scones to take over there. I know Granna’s been sick so I don’t want to be a bother. But it will still be loads of fun.

Petunia phoned the other day. It’s funny how much better we get along when she’s not here having to see me being strange. We talked a few minutes and she wished me a happy birthday. That totally made my day! My sister being nice to me and giving me birthday wishes! Reminds me of the days before. Before I became different. Before she went away.

Always,

Lily


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  #15  
Old November 6th, 2006, 7:03 pm
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Re: Lily's Lost Journals

April 5, 1970,

Daddy took me to Granna Louise’s yesterday. Mum even let me bake some scones for her. And I didn’t burn them either! I was excited because I was going to be able to spend the entire day pouring through Granna’s books on castles of England, Scotland, and Europe. Granna was glad to see me, but she doesn’t look like the Granna I’ve known my entire life. Her pretty blue eyes that used to be so full of life were dull and watery-looking. And her hair. Where was all of her snowy tresses—look I’m using a new vocabulary word! – that hung down to her waist? It wasn’t there. What remained of her hair was dull and lifeless and kept falling out in chunks. Daddy says it’s the medicine she’s got take to fight this sickness, but I don’t like it! She looked like she weighed about as much as me and I only weigh 70 pounds! But as soon as she saw me and she hugged me, I knew she was my same old Granna!

Granna has so many books about castles! This is great. I’ll be able to find everything I need to do my project. I think it’d be awesome if I were able to find that castle that I keep dreaming about. That’s my plan. Search through the books until I find either that one or another one that looks interesting. I brought home a book about castles in England, another one of Scottish castles, another one of castles in Wales, and one about castles in Ireland. But what country to do? I’ve lived in England my entire life and the only castle I know of is Buckingham Palace. But that one doesn’t really interest me. I think I’ll sleep on it. Right now, I’m sleepy and maybe I’ll have a brainwave and know exactly which one to do when I wake up.

Always,

Lily


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  #16  
Old December 15th, 2006, 12:49 am
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Re: Lily's Lost Journals

May 1, 1970

Granna died last night. Daddy woke me up to tell me. Why did she have to get sick? Why couldn’t the doctors heal her? Why? Why? Why? It’s not fair either! What did Granna do that made God mad at her? I’ve decided that I want to be a doctor or a researcher when I grow up. I want to find a cure for cancer so that other people who have it will get better. When I told Daddy and Mum this morning about my goal, they smiled and told me that it was a noble goal. And that perhaps I’d be the one to find the cure! The funeral for Granna will be after Petunia gets here. Mum rang her school up and told the headmaster and now Petunia’s on a train back. She should get here sometime tomorrow, Mum says. I’m not going to cry at the funeral. I refuse to. I love Granna and she wouldn’t want me to cry. She’d want me to be happy. So I’m going to pretend to be happy at least.

Mr. Goshen learned first hand of my accidents today. I was so upset over Granna that when he told me to do something during lessons, I accidentally caused the desk to catch fire. Fire’s a new one. I’ve not had that happen before. But thankfully, he managed to put it out rather quickly and then he went to talk with Mum. I heard what they were talking about from my place in the open door. “Mrs. Evans,” Mr. Goshen said as he approached Mum. “There’s been a bit of an accident in the schoolroom.” “What happened,” Mum asked him. “Well, ma’am, it seems that the desk caught on fire. I’m not entirely sure how it happened, but it did.” “Mr. Goshen, what was Lily’s state of mind,” Mum asked and I could hear both the long-suffering and the slight humor in her voice. “Well, she was obviously upset over the news of her grandmother. Why do you ask?” “You’re not hurt then are you? No. Well at least there’s no harm done. Lily’s different as I’m sure you’ve come to realize these past months. Occasionally when she’s feeling rather strong emotions, things happen. Things we can’t explain. It’s the main reason why Lily’s not in public school anymore. We couldn’t take the chance that she may cause harm to someone without knowing what she’s done. These past few months under your tutelage, she’s blossomed. She’s excited about learning and you’re challenging her. She’s also not had as many accidents. The few she’s had since you began working with her have occurred only when her sister is home on holiday. So you see, as long as you’re not hurt, there’s nothing to worry about.” “But, Mrs. Evan, what should I do about it?” “Nothing. She doesn’t know what causes it. She knows that she can’t control it and it wouldn’t do any good to bring it to her attention. Her father will speak with her later about her lack of control.” “So you’re saying that I should treat it as if nothing has happened?” “Yes, that’s exactly what I’m saying. Do you think that you can do that? At least now you’re aware that things happen with Lily.” “Well, I can’t say that I can forget it, but I can try to treat her the same as always.” Finally! A teacher who will treat me as normal despite the fact that I have accidents. I feel really awful about the desk though. I certainly didn’t mean to catch it on fire.

My castle project is coming along nicely. I’ve decided to study Bamburgh Castle in Northumberland. It’s on the North Sea and looks about as close to the one that I keep dreaming about as I’ll ever get! More on that later.

Always,

Lily



*****************************
So I finally managed to post. Probably manage a few more before the Christmas break is over. Funny thing about this one is that it is nothing like the long-hand one I wrote.


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  #17  
Old December 18th, 2006, 1:19 am
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Re: Lily's Lost Journals

May, 16, 1970

I’ve finished all of my data gathering for my project. This is what I found out about Bamburgh Castle. It was built around the year 547. Wow! That’s a long time ago. That’s before even the Normans invaded England. I remember that from one of my history lessons. Anyway. Back to what I’ve found out. There was this king called Ida who liked to be known as The Flamebearer. And this king had already conquered Northumberland. This was a large kingdom with the capital being Bamburgh. How the settlement got its name was by the king’s grandson giving it to his wife. It’s interesting to realize that though there has been a castle on the grounds since forever ago, it wasn’t until the Normans invaded that the castle that stands now started to take shape. I guess that they needed a better fortified stronghold to keep the invaders out. OK, back to my findings. There was a war in 1453 called the War of the Roses. And thatwar caused the castle to fall apart. Guess I’m going to have to ask Mr. Goshen about that war. Why was it called that? But, anyway, Bamburgh Castle had up til then been owned by the royal family. And Elizabeth I decided that she was going to be nice to some guy and give him the lands and the castle. This guy was Claudius Forster. Mainly she wanted to give him this castle to help keep the Scots out of England. Evidently this guy was some sort of general or something. Anyway, he was able to live in the castle and use it as a means of protection to help prevent the Scots from getting in. Oh wow! The walls of this castle were somewhere between 9 and 12 feet thick! WOW!!!!

This next bit is really rather interesting. One of the 13 kids that Claudius Forster had, was named Tom. This Tom was a part of the Jacobite Rebellion of 1715. He was broke when he decided to join the rebellion. The people involved in the rebellion thought that here was this man from a wealthy family promptly promoted him to a position of General! Yet this man didn’t even last through one battle. He took one look at his enemies and immediately gave up. He got tossed into prison. His sister, Dorothy, heard about him being in prison and decided to go visit him. She brought her maid along on these visit until the last one. Miss Dorothy decided to wear her maid’s clothing underneath her own. And then let her brother dress in the maid’s clothes and together the two of them walked out of the prison! Dorothy hid her brother in the castle for about two years before he escaped to France. I think that I’ll write my story for the project about Miss Dorothy and General Tom.

By the time that Tom managed to get away to France, the Forster family was flat broke. So the castle and grounds came up for sale. It was bought by a Lord Crewe, Bishop of Durham. He set it up so that the people would start making a profit. He set up a schoolroom inside the castle to train girls for becoming servants. And developed a system of signals to alert sea captains about dangerous things. In the late 1800’s, the castle and grounds fell into the hands of the Armstrong family, where it remains today. This family started the restoration process of it and that process cost one million pounds to complete!

It was nice to have Petunia home for the few days of Granna’s funeral. She was actually nice to me again. It’s almost as if for this time we can forget about me being different and we could be sisters again. Anyway, I was telling her all about this project and she –



Hermione pulled her eyes away from the page she was on and glanced around her cozy attic nest, thinking she’d heard something. She silently checked on the wards that had been put in place in the attic and around her. Nothing was amiss. Not willing to venture down the stairs and leave Lily’s story, she dismissed the noise she’d heard as a mouse or a rat and focused back on the page in front of her, yet there was someone there. Someone who was waiting for the appropriate time to make their presence known.


Anyway, I was telling her all about this project and she actually was impressed that I wasn’t doing something lame or just looking at Buckingham Palace. I’d actually gone through the trouble to find a castle I’d never heard about before and research it to the best of my abilities. “Lily,” Petunia tentatively said. “May I read your story once you have it written?” Of course I told her yes! I can’t deny my sister anything. I can’t wait to write to Julie about this!

Always,

Lily


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  #18  
Old December 23rd, 2006, 10:08 pm
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Re: Lily's Lost Journals

Chapter 5

June 1, 1970

Daddy gave me a new diary as always for my birthday, but I’d not needed it until today. It’s kinda fun to realize that I’m starting my 3rd diary already! I’ve got my story for Mr. Goshen about Miss Dorothy and General Tom finished. But I wanted to write it in here before I turn it in that way I’ll always have it to read whenever I feel like it.

It was the evening before the battle. Both sides were set to exchange fire at dawn of the next day. The general’s tent sat off apart from those of the common soldiers. He’d only just arrived in the encampment late that evening and as yet had not made an appearance before his men. They knew of course that he’d arrived having been informed that the wealthy son of a nobleman had been placed in charge of their forces. The experienced soldiers laughed at the thought of having a greenhorn in command. Already wagers were being placed to see how long this general would last on the field.

“General.” General Tom heard an insistent voice heralding him out of his deep slumber. “General – Sir. You must get up. The men need to see you before it all begins.”

General Tom managed to come to his senses somewhat and realized where he was and who was talking to him. In the space of about 15 minutes, Tom found himself up, dressed, a cup of black coffee tossed down his throat, and seated upon his horse before his assembled troops.

“Well, men. Today is the day that we show those King’s men exactly who they are dealing with. Who’s with me?”

A chorus of cheers met his ears and he wheeled his horse and headed across the fog-swathed moor to meet the Kings’ forces. As his horse approached, Tom received his first full glimpse of the forces that he was opposing. Lines and lines and lines of men, horses, and cannon faced him. Looking back at his own paltry forces, Tom made a quick decision. He unfastened his white handkerchief and quickly tied it onto his saber and waved it wildly as he spurred his horse on shouting at the top of his lungs “I surrender!”

The startled King’s soldiers took the surrendering general in hand and brought him to their commanding officer. The King’s general, not fully believing that this fight was won without a single shot having been fired, met Tom. “Well, sir, why might I ask are you surrendering?” Tom replied, “I am wise enough to see that you out number me and my men. I’d rather have my men alive to fight another day than be stuck writing missives to their widows. Do with me what you will, just let my men leave unharmed.” “Agreed,” the King’s general replied.

Tom was taken into captivity and shortly sent on Newgate Prison. Back at home, his younger sister, Dorothy, was reading beside the fire in her sitting room when her maid came to fetch her. “Mum, you’ve a visitor from the King.” Setting aside her book and her curiosity piqued, Dorothy followed the maid through the castle’s corridors into the Great Hall. There standing near the far hearth, was a messenger from the King.

“My lady,” he said formally bowing to her. “I’m terribly sorry to disturb you madam, but I was told that you are the only member of the household home at the present and I have news of great importance.”

“That’s true. My parents have decided to take a holiday until this mess is over. My brothers and sisters are abroad as well. How may I assist you?”

“Here madam, this explains,” the messenger replied handing her a piece of rolled parchment bearing the seal of both the King and one of his generals.

“Oh, Tom,” Dorothy breathed as she broke the seal and unrolled the parchment. “What have you done this time? Oh no! You’ve managed to get yourself imprisoned! Thank you sir. I will see to this matter immediately. Please stop by the kitchens and Cook will make sure that you have some food for your return trip.”

“Thank you my lady,” he said as he turned and left the room.

“Marcella! Quickly, I need my cloak.”

Dorothy followed her maid out of the room and soon the two women were dressed in riding habits and set off towards the nearby prison. The guards at the gate straightened at the sight of a lady and led her to her brother.

“Oh Tom,” she breathed as she took in his ragged appearance. “You’re insufferable!”

“Please tell me you’re here to get me out of this place Little Sis,” Tom asked with a cheeky grin.

“Hush! That will come later. I’ve got to come up with a plan in which you won’t be noticed. But for now, why did you go and join the rebellion? Why didn’t you do what Mama and Papa and the others decided to do and take a holiday?”

“What?! And leave you unprotected?! I think not!”

“You know that I am perfectly able to care for myself! So how much did you owe?”

“Well, I did it because I’m broke and didn’t want the debtors chasing after me. But I didn’t think I’d really turn coward and run, but I did.”

The siblings talked for several more moments until the guards came to escort Dorothy and her maid back out. That began a series of visits in which Dorothy would visit her brother. Each time that she came, he asked her how she was planning on getting him out of there. Each time her response was the same. That she was working on it.

Early in the next month, Dorothy had finally come up with a solution to get Tom out of the prison. Dressing in her maid’s clothing before pulling on her own dress, Dorothy made sure that not a scrap of the maid’s clothes showed under her dress. She and Marcella rode towards the prison. Marcella stayed with the horses in the glen just outside of the prison and Dorothy approached the gates alone. The guards were by now so used to seeing her, that she was admitted without a fuss.

“Tom,” Dorothy said quietly. “Today is the day. I’m getting you out of here. Now keep talking like we usually do and then after my usual amount of time here with you, you’ll help me out of the dress.”

“Out of the dress! Sis are you crazy!”

“Shhhh! And listen! I’ve got Marcella’s clothes on under my dress. You’ll turn your back and put on Marcella’s whilst I don my own again. You’ll have to dress quickly otherwise we’ll both be caught. The guards come for me after having been with you for about an hour. And it takes them about 5 or 10 minutes to get here. Understand?”

“Ah I see.”

The two visited until Dorothy gave her brother the signal that it was time to make the escape. Both quickly changed and soon Tom was disguised. Dorothy played her part for all she was worth as she left the cell.

“Tom, I’ll be back again to visit you soon,” she said as she wiped away a false tear from the corner of her eye. “And perhaps next time, you’ll actually be civil to me!”

With a flounce of her skirts she and her “maid” left the cell without waiting a response from the prisoner within. Outside the prison, Dorothy led her “maid” to the glen where Marcella was waiting with the horses. Tom started to throw off his disguise, but stopped when his sister shot him a glare. The trio robe back to the castle where Tom was immediately disguised as a servant.

The guards soon realized that General Tom had escaped and knew that his sister had been his only visitor. They rode like the wind to Bamburgh Castle where they turned it inside out, searching for the prisoner. Dorothy stood furiously in the Great Hall and watched as the men tore her home apart in the hopes of finding her brother. What they didn’t notice was that that the General had been in front of them the entire search. Dorothy had gotten Tom disguised as a kitchen boy and he was sitting beside the large hearth turning the spit. Both siblings realized that the safety of the entire castle was jeopardized by Tom’s presence there. Tom was sheltered in a seldom used portion of the castle and slowly regained the strength that his time in prison had stolen from him.

After about two years of hiding and putting his sister at risk, Tom was fed up.

“Dorothy,” he announced one morning while the siblings broke the fast. “I’ve got to get out of here.”

“And where will you go,” she asked calmly. She’d known that this day was coming. She’d sensed the restlessness in him over the past few months.

“France,” he replied without a moment’s hesitation. “I’ve made the arrangements. I leave in a fortnight.”

“Very well then,” she told him. “I’ll miss you. And please either marry Marcella or stop playing with her. She’s not a plaything for you. She loves you, though why I’m not entirely sure.”

Tom agreed and within two weeks he and Marcella were on their way to France. Tom had realized that he had fallen in love with his sister’s maid, the woman who had cared for him the most during his hiding.


Well, that’s my story. I really liked letting my imagination run away with me. I hope that Mr. Goshen likes it.

Always,

Lily


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  #19  
Old January 7th, 2007, 10:09 pm
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Re: Lily's Lost Journals

July 16, 1970

I got a letter from Julie today. It’s so hard to have her so far away! I miss her a lot. Well anyway, here’s what she wrote:

Dear Lily,

I miss you! I wish that you could have been here with us when the memorial service for Daddy was held. I know that the service was back in March and that this is July, but this is the first I’ve been able to write of it. Mum was a wreck as has been the case since we got the Army telegram saying Daddy was dead. There was no body for us to bury. The Army said that it was too badly destroyed. But we buried the things that they shipped us. We buried his Army tags, his picture, and a few other things as well. Mum wanted to put in Daddy’s wedding ring, but I didn’t want her to do that. So I’ve got Daddy’s ring hidden in my bureau drawer. Along with all the letters that I’ve written Daddy since his death. But the service was very moving. The Army chaplain, you know we’re not religious and don’t go to a church anywhere, told those of is gathered at the graveside about how Daddy had died rescuing a squad of men. That’s the first that we’d heard about that. Then the Army guys gave a 21-gun salute to Daddy. That’s where there are 7 soldiers in their dress uniforms and they shoot their rifles into the air three times. I cried a lot. My biggest worry is how I’m going to take care of Cassie and Samuel. Mum spends her days drinking cheap wine and that’s while she’s working at the diner. I didn’t tell you. Mum took a job as waitress just to make enough money for us to live on. Cassie and Samuel don’t understand why their Mummy isn’t home anymore. And when she is home, why she’s always yelling at them to shut up. My brother and sister are only 5 and 3. They need their Mum. Me, I’m old enough to take care of myself. And I’m going to see to it that nothing will hurt my little brother and sister ever again. Even Mum.

But how are you Lily? Did you have a good birthday? What did your teacher think of that castle story that you turned in? I wish I could have seen the finished castle. Thanks for sharing your story with me. You’ve got a lot of talent. You had me actually there with General Tom and Miss Dorothy. I needed that. Thanks. I was sorry to hear about Granna Louise. I know how much she meant to you. And I remember her as a sweet woman who was always greeting us with a hug and some cookies. What are the chances that your parents will let you come here at Christmas? I could really use my best friend, and the kids that I go to school with just don’t understand me the way that you do. We’re a team, you and I.

I’ve got to go now Lily. Cassie needs me.

Your friend,

Julie



I want so badly to be able to go see Julie in America. But I know it’s pointless to ask. I’m too young. At least we have our letters though.

Mr. Goshen loved my story. He told me that I should consider becoming a writer. That’s another idea for me now. I could be a teacher, a doctor, or a writer. I don’t know what I want to be when I grow up.

Petunia’s home for the holidays. She spends time with me only when forced to do so, and I don’t really understand why. I’ve not caused any accidents since the day that I set fire to the school desk. But evidently my accidents are too freakish for her. I think that Stephanie is the one who keeps poisoning her against me. I mean Petunia’s know me my whole life, being that she is my sister. And the one time that Stephanie met me, she made me mad and I caused an accident. Why do we have to grow up? Why can’t we always be children and then my sister and I would still be close?

Always,

Lily



With a sigh, Hermione closed the leather bound book, and stretched. It had been a long day and since hearing something earlier that disturbed her reading, she’d been on her guard. Now she was exhausted.

Gathering her things, she left the attic and moved cautiously down the attic stairs. Seeing that her wards were still in place, she relaxed slightly, but only slightly. She left the house and slowly made her way through London’s evening rush. She had to take the underground away from the house in order to safely reach a place from which she could Apparate. Lost in her thoughts, she failed to notice the muffled sounds of footsteps behind her and the soft swish of an invisibility cloak.

**************

AN: There's more to come in this part. Possibly even later today. We'll see. School starts back up for me on the 16th. Two classes -- one on Tuesdays at 4 and one on Wednesdays at 7pm. So I'm not entirely sure how much more I'll be able to write during school. Totally depends upon how difficult the classes are.


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  #20  
Old January 15th, 2007, 4:14 am
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Re: Lily's Lost Journals

“Hermione,” Ginny asked as she approached her friend.

“Yes,” the other woman replied.

“We’ve got to do something about Harry. He’s getting worse each day. If something isn’t done soon, he’ll be lost completely.”

“I know,” Hermione replied with a touch of worry in her voice. “These last three years have been hard on everyone especially Harry. And you. I’m working on something right now that I hope will help him.”

“What is it?”

“I can’t divulge that just yet. Not until I have all the facts.”

“Is it a potion or something that restore him to himself?”

“Not exactly. Let’s just say that I’ve found something that will help him remember that he’s not alone.”

“You will tell me when it’s ready won’t you,” Ginny asked.

“I promise. When I feel that the time is right, you’ll be the first to know.”

Hermione watched the pretty redhead walk out of the room thinking that there was the woman who loved Harry as much as if not more than Lily. Shaking herself out of her thoughts of Harry, she focused on the more pressing things on her mind. Things like the fact that someone had been following her. She needed to approach the Order about this.

*****************

“Remus,” Hermione called as she knelt on the floor with her head in the kitchen fireplace. “I need to talk to you.” She pulled her head out of the fireplace and within a matter of seconds, there was a flash of green light and Remus Lupin was dusting the soot off his clothes as he stood in the kitchen.

“Is Harry worse?”

“No, but it’s about what I’ve found and some concerns I have.”

Remus sank tiredly into one of the kitchen chairs, cast an imperturbable charm on the doorway with a flick of his wand, and gave the pacing young woman in front of him his full attention.

“Hermione. Hermione. What is it? What have you found out?”

“Ok, so I know that my mission was to find something, anything that will help the Order, but that’s taken a back seat to what I’ve discovered. I stumbled across a trunk full of books.”

“And that has what to do with your mission?”

“I’m getting there! Just wait a minute. This trunk caused me to change my mission. So instead of looking for something that will help the Order, I’m now on a quest to help Harry. And I’ve discovered how to do that.”

“How,” Remus replied his curiosity piqued in spite of this blatant disregard for orders.

“Through his mother.”

“How can Lily help Harry? She’s been dead for nineteen years.”

“I know that. But you see this trunk of books was actually a trunk of journals.”

“Journals? Like in diaries?”

“Yes. And written by no other than Lillian Michelle Evans Potter,” she announced triumphantly.

“Lily kept a diary? Amazing. How many are there? What does she write about? How will this help Harry?”

“I’m not very far into her story, but it’s amazing. I strongly suspect that one of her ancestors was a witch. And tragic deaths run in her family. Make that young tragic deaths.”

“Wait. Lily was Muggleborn. She was the only witch in the family.”

“Or so you always thought. There is evidence in these diaries that her great-great grandmother was a witch. I’ve researched this. There are times, though I admit that they are rare, that magic skips several generations. In Lily’s case, the magic skipped her father’s generation, her grandmother’s generation, and her great-grandmother’s generation. Remus? Are you alright?”

“This is just a lot to take in. Lily kept a diary. Evidently more than one. And she’s got an ancestry that has at least one witch in the family. But I find it intriguing. Please continue.”

“Ok. Well, Lily’s story is very intriguing. It starts when she’s eight years old, and from what I can tell it goes through the days leading up to her death. It’s almost as if she’s wanting her son to find these diaries and read them.”

“Why do you say that?”

“I’m not entirely sure yet. It’s just a theory floating around in my head. But I think that Lily wants Harry to realize how much love is worth. And how it is love that makes him who he is.”

“I’m not sure I follow you, but go on.”

“That’s just it. I don’t have anything more right now! It’s just this thought I have that if Harry knows his mother’s story, you know what she was like as a child, her experiences at Hogwarts, James, that kind of thing.”

“How will that help Harry?”

“He’ll have more than just moving photographs of his mum. He’ll have her words. Her thoughts. And it may be just enough to bring him back to us. To you. To me. To Ginny.”

“You know I think that you may be onto something there. But, you mentioned some concerns.”

“Oh that. I’m being followed,” she stated matter-of-factly.

“You’re what!? How? Who?”

“I don’t know who it is, but whomever it is is using an Invisibility cloak.”

“Those are really rare.”

“I know that. And I know that Harry has one, but he’s not been using it seeing as how he hasn’t been going anywhere. Dobby would have mentioned it. Moody has two. And those are safely locked up. I don’t know who it could be.”

“So it’s not the Order. Well, you won’t be allowed to go alone any longer.”

“Remus, that won’t work. They’ll know we suspect something if my routine breaks and all of a sudden I have an escort. No, I have to stay to my routine. But I wanted you to be aware. Perhaps you could post a lookout? In disguise of course.”

“Maybe. Let me think about it and get back to you. You certainly can’t read the diaries here. Harry may discover them. And you don’t want that yet do you?”

“No I don’t. But I have faith in you Remus. You’ll figure something out. Now, I’ve got some research to do and you should be getting on home.”

“Right you are.”

Hermione watched as her former professor released the charm on the kitchen and stepped into the fireplace. With a flash of green light, he was gone and she was left alone to try to come up with her plan.

AN- sorry no Lily in this post. Just more of the Hermione story.


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