Cheese Pudding *one shot*

[lwHSH]

This is a one-shot in the Marauders era while they are in 5th year. I was at my friends house over Christmas break and we were goofing off and somehow cheese pudding came up. So I decided to make a humorous fan fiction with it. Therefore…
This is dedicated to you Kristen. And not only ‘cause you dedicated a chapter in yours to me. LoL. So without further ado, I give you…


CHEESE PUDDING


“Remus”

“…”

“Pssst, Remus”

“…”

“Reeeeemuuuuuuuus”

“…”

“Remus!” Yelled Sirius.

“Ahh! Wazzgoinon?” mumbled Remus sitting up in bed.

“Hey, you awake?” whispered Sirius.

“Padfoot, of all the stupid questions you ask, that has got to be on of the stupidest,” grumbled Remus, trying to wipe the sleep from his eyes.

“Hmm. That’s what Jenni told me when I asked her if she wanted to have a quick snogging session with me last Tuesday,” said Sirius, with a thoughtful expression on his face.

“I did not need to know that. How many times have I told you that I don’t want to hear about your love life?” asked Remus with a disgusted face.

When Remus didn’t get an answer he glanced over at Sirius to see him still staring into space.

“Yoo-hoo! Anybody in there? Come back to earth,” he said waving his hand in front of Sirius’ face.

“Oh yeah, sorry. I was thinking about how good a kisser Jenni was.” At this Remus gave Sirius another glare. “But back to what I was saying. Er... Hey Remus, do you remember what I was saying?”

“You better hope it was the reason that you woke me up at this unreasonable hour of the morning,” said Remus.

“Oh right, that. I was wondering if there was such a thing as cheese pudding. Is there?”

“Ok, let me change my comment from earlier. That was the stupidest question you have ever asked. I worry for your sanity sometimes,” Remus replied with a worried expression.

“Well today when I was in History of Magic, I was trying to sleep and I thought I heard the words ’cheese pudding’. But it kinda sounded like ’knees gudding’ too.” said Sirius, well, seriously.

“I really don’t know. Can’t we sleep now and figure it out in the morning. James’ mom used to bake a lot, maybe he knows,” Remus yawned.

“No! We can’t tell James!”

“Why not?”

“If there is such a thing as cheese pudding, and we can find some, you’ll find out soon enough,” replied Sirius with an evil glint in his eye. “So, anyway, we have to find out about this cheese pudding business.”

“And what do you suggest we do about it?” inquired Remus.

“Go down to the kitchens and ask the house elves,”

“When did you come up with this idea,”

“Right before I woke you up,”

“Then why the h*** did you wake me up?!” yelled Remus.

“You know that I’m afraid of the pear picture,” cringed Sirius.

“When will you get over your stupid pear-phobia?” asked Remus.

“When I stop having that reoccurring dream of pears chasing me into a volcano!” answered Sirius.

“Okay, fine. Lets go,” sighed Remus, realizing Sirius wouldn’t let him get any sleep if he didn’t go.

So Sirius grabbed James’ invisibility cloak from his trunk and shut the lid, making a huge banging noise. Remus was waiting for James or Peter to poke their heads out from behind their hangings, but when no one did, he looked to Sirius.

“How are they still asleep?” he asked.

“I put a Silencing Charm around their beds. It should last for the next hour and a half.”

“Oh.” was Remus’ only reply.

They went down to the common room in silence. There they put the invisibility cloak on them and went through the portrait hole. They walked down the halls and numerous set of stairs until they reached the kitchens. Sirius stood behind Remus while he Remus tickled the pair.

As they walked in the kitchens, they took off the invisibility cloak and a bunch of little house elves circled around them.

One of them stepped forward. “Hello, I ’tis Buni. How may we help you sirs?” she asked.

Sirius stepped ahead of Remus. “Hi, Buni. You know myself and Remus. We were wondering if there is such thing as ‘cheese pudding’. Do you know if there is.”

“Buni has never heard of it. But we can make it for you!” she offered eagerly.

“Thanks!” exclaimed Sirius.

“But only if it’s not too much trouble,” added Remus.

“Oh, no trouble at all sirs. We will get on it right away,” said Buni. And with that her and about ten other house elves scurried away to carry out their orders. A few others stayed to offer them other snacks. Sirius accepted a cherry tart while Remus just waited for the cheese pudding.

When they house elves were done with the pudding they handed it to Sirius and bowed. Remus and Sirius turned to leave after they thanked them.

They walked back up the stairs and through the halls. Just when they were about to Gryffindor tower, they turned a corner and almost ran into someone.

Well, actually, Sirius did run into her.

“Umph,”

“Uggh,”

And then Remus ran into Sirius.

“Ugmph,”

“What are you doing out here? And what is that in your arm” said the Ravenclaw head girl, Kristen.

Uh-oh, they had forgotten the invisibility cloak in the kitchen.

“Er. Sirius, why don’t you tell her what we’re doing.”

“Oh, but you tell it so much better. Why don’t you tell her?” said Sirius.

“Yeah, but you never get to tell the stories, you tell--”

“Somebody just tell me already!” yelled Kristen.

Remus and Sirius looked between each other. Sirius could weasel his was out of trouble with any teacher (‘cept maybe Dumbledore) but with students, it was a different story. Most knew of his wonderful acting skills and knew when to take what he said exactly opposite.

“Well?” she tapped her foot impatiently.

“We, er…” started Remus.

“What’s going on out here?” asked a stern voice.

They all turned to the direction that the voice came from. The image of Professor Slughorn met their view.

This was Sirius’ chance. He had wormed his way out of trouble with Slughorn a billion times. This would just boost him up to a billion and one.

“Good evening Professor. Or should I say good morning?” said Sirius pleasantly. “It’s Lily’s birthday today, and we just wanted to get the supplies for her surprise birthday party ready early. She is one of our closest friends you know.”

“Oh, well if it’s for Lily, I guess I can let it slide this time. But don’t let me catch you out this late again,” said Slughorn.

“Thanks” said Sirius as he and Remus began to walk away. “And could you not mention the party to Lily? We want to make sure it’s a surprise.”

“Sure,” he said.

Kristen was left stuttering as everybody went their different directions. She was fuming! After a few seconds she left muttering about ‘trouble-makers’ and ‘stupid, idiotic, teachers that shouldn’t have a license to teach’.

Back in the common room where Sirius and Remus arrived, they were discussing what they had the cheese pudding for.

“It will be at dinner tonight. Nobody should suspect anything,” said Sirius mischievously.

Remus just sat their confused, knowing that Sirius was very secretive about his pranks.

The day went by like most other days. James got slapped in the face by Lily, Peter got stuck in the bathroom stall, and Snape and the Marauders got into a duel. All in all, not a very eventful day.

That evening Remus and Sirius sat with James and Peter. Remus still didn’t know what was going on, but Sirius kept glancing around so he assumed the plan was in motion. Then Sirius leaned over to James and said something. James turned to look at Lily just as her plate turned into a box.

She glanced at her friend then turned back to the box and opened it. A loud voice sounded out, “Yeah, this is probably the cheesiest way I have tried to ask you out, but will you go out with me? Love James.” And then all the cheese pudding that Remus had helped Sirius get that morning exploded in her face.

She turned down the table to face James. James looked like he was about to wet his pants in fear of what Lily was going to do to him. Then he turned to Sirius with a deadly expression. Sirius got up and ran, dragging Remus with him. James chased after them. And ran away from Lily as she came after him.

-------- (later that day as the bell rang to signal the end of potions, after everybody had practically killed the people they were mad at while Remus was dragged along)--------

“By the way Lily, happy birthday,” said Slughorn, winking at her as he left the room.

Lily was left bemused in the classroom alone as she muttered to herself, “It’s not my birthday.”

Fin

Hehe. I used your name in my story K.B.
To anybody who reads this, i haven't read it through yet, so if you find any mistakes or things that don't make sense. Leave it in feedback.
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